Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad #153 (LIVE)

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Son of a Boy Dad #153 (LIVE) -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/coll... -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yes, we are live. We're live. Hello. Welcome back. Ahoy, ahoy.

Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. We are live from HQ4. Why are you saying no sound i just tested and there is sound did you just do the ahoi did you just do the alexander graham bell original uh telephone hello no i did that you said ahoi ahoi that's what column always says he goes ahoi ahoi is what they wanted to uh answer the telephone with before they settled on hello. Really? Well, I think they should have stuck to ahoy, ahoy. Ahoy, hoy. And then ahoy would be goodbye. Also, bone to pick.

Nothing really gets me fired up than when people say no sound because we just tested it and there is sound, you goddamn fools. Can't hear. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Here's an idea. How about I ban you from the freaking chat? How about that? Ban.

Drop the ban hammer on these pussies. Stop it yeah we do have we do it well i mean they're flying they're getting your goat unless they want to do it what if they want to do a q and a they're getting your goat don't read this don't read it you're getting you're having your goat taken all right we are here from hq4 welcome back, fellas. Four. I got my slippers on today because Francis played a nasty prank on me where he decided to shut my heat off. At the end of the last episode.

Like I was Israel. Shut my heat off. Yes. Yes. He decided to shut my heat off and not tell me. So the last two days I've been like, something's wrong with my radiator. Well, you got to stop telling me that that hospital is actually just a hospital. Once you admit that there's a labyrinth of tunnels underneath, I will give you heat back.

But I honestly think I'm going to keep wearing the slippers because then people can't be like, look at those nasty socks. Well, your socks actually are nasty. I've been wearing my best socks and I still get chastised for having nasty socks. No, I put on my best socks today. Oh, show them off oh i went i went in and i got no they still look dirty because they always look dirty if you got white socks they're never gonna look clean you often wear mismatching socks i think that's really unbecoming yes yes you do like these look dirty they're not dirty these are fresh out of the wash we should do a three-way secret santa white christmas where we all just get each other packs of socks to wear on the show.

I know. Such a good gift. Socks and ties. I went to Dick's on Black Friday and there was just a group of high school dudes all buying like 70 pairs of Nike socks. I actually thought about hopping in on that. That's cool. Yeah. Black or white?

White, obviously. I agree, but some dudes... Some dudes swear by the black sock. It's nasty. It's nasty. It's actually disgusting. disgusting i know i don't know what you can wear them with not a fan of the black sock like uh can you wear it with like a like black chucks or what's the you gotta wear it with pants you can't wear black socks and like sneakers that's crazy i just don't know what because like what what can what would be good socks that would make people be like, oh, those are nice? Dress socks?

Because dress socks are nasty themselves. They're like flimsy, fucking weird pattern, thin. They're the pantyhose of socks. Yeah, you're like a bank robber wearing a dress sock over his face to fucking rob a bank. What is that? What is that hissing? It's the radiator. Is it?

Yeah, because now it's all backed up and it's working overtime. It's trying to catch up for fucking missed time. Dude, I was literally, I was playing Fortnite last night and I was sitting there and I was having to, in between games, I was having to rub my feet like they were, like it was like I was trying to make a fire to warm them up. I'm surprised you didn't have a barrel in here with old newspapers crackling inside of it. I watched Francis do it last time oh it's getting louder they can't hear it though they can only hear what we're directly saying

there's no background noise the last time we were here which was two days ago it was so fucking hot and the air that comes out of there is is the driest hottest steam heat it's the nose bleed inducing heat and i said i can't handle it it's too hot so you said don't touch it and then i had to touch it because you told me you couldn't you couldn't actually turn it off so then you said that it was on yesterday when he went to go turn it back on you said it was on earlier today i don't think you have any sense of whether or not your heat is actually on i had a feeling dude you showed up here and i was like it's fucking freezing and then i was pacing around trying to figure it out and then i went in my room and got my slippers and then finally

francis was like it's off i turned it off yeah you're welcome wild thing to do just turn off someone's heat when it's 30 degrees outside welcome it's also pretty mild in here and you would feel fine if you went outside every once in a while but that's not what i'm not my i'm not gonna try and warm up by going outside and freezing and then coming in here and being like okay this is manageable i think you should go outside to just get a little fresh air get a little blood kind of yeah exactly i was gonna go outside but i had to sit here i had to set this thing up all day yeah pretty much it's a long process dude i did like five test streams and i had to sit here and talk into each mic individually and make sure they all work

they say when you're trapped in like a cold water or like if you're in the titanic or something best thing to do is is piss on each other oh that makes sense for warmth for grab your balls it's got to be grab your balls making yourself wet doesn't make you colder ultimately no once you're in the water oh you're supposed to piss on each other but i thought that i mean if it got really cold i thought maybe we could try it just pissing on each other i don't know i thought i don't know if youtube would like that if we are back for two if our backs were to the camera and it was ambiguous and then suddenly we were just drenched with a yellow liquid i think there's enough plausible deniability

baked in there. I gotta get this chat out of here because it's fucking with me. This person said, why is the sound in Spanish? And for a brief moment I was like fuck. Por favor manténganse alejados de las puertas. Literally for a brief moment I was like shit.

El pequeño sasquatch. We put it in Spanish. Y Francisco Ellis. I'm finally warming up shit that's a funny sasquatch we put it on we put it in spanish there's no way to get rid of it i'm finally warming up though my hands are frigid yeah i could see all of your veins like a fucking marauder's map hey can i give you guys a quick follow-up to the bestiality conversation we had on my yes of course so i thought was delightful i thought that was really fun. We had to... We bring our English setter, our Ruby, to a groomer in where we live, Rone, nearby.

And he kind of does it like under the table. He only accepts cash. He's known more as the proprietor of a dog like food and toy store. It's like an actual pet store. But in the back, he's got this room that is dim and has a door with only the

tiniest keyhole window seeing through it. And I bring Ruby there and she is terrified. She does not like it. I'm picturing the basement in Pulp Fiction where they're sexually assaulting. Yeah, where they keep the gimp yeah that's a good comp and she hates she hates this guy so much that she doesn't even like to go on the street like she can't go within 100 yards of

this place but he's the only guy that does it and he does a really good job he's really really meticulous he has got all kind he uses like a vacuum cleaner i don't know what that's for he has to express her anal glands she gets these tiny sacks of fluid near her yeah fish smell fs you know it yeah and he does it and he does because we find it so gross you dealt with that yet i haven't dealt but i've i'm aware that it it is the worst smelling thing it's bad it's like a boil it Oh, it can make me throw up right now thinking about it. These tiny sacks and you have to squeeze them and they actually secrete liquid. It's very gross. Yeah.

And then. That's gross. Fs. He does all kinds of stuff, but you know, you bring the dog in and he's got a couple other dogs and they're chained to a table and he's wearing scrubs. He's dressed in scrubs. And I said, Hey, I'm a little early. Can I leave her here with you and

he goes no problem i got her and he goes are you picking her up and i was like no my wife is and he's like okay do you have the cash and i was like here you go i gave him the cash and then i left and if ever there was a person who was probably fucking the dogs yeah don't be around this bush you need to do an eddie from surviving barstool and leave your phone in there recording yeah like leave it in your pocket or something like that and then just at least get a listen to let's try doggy style say that again say it again oh man that is so nasty let me express you god that is disturbing so that why would you have to do why would you have to do this under the table unless he's doing something nefarious he probably lost his license years ago yeah he was

probably caught he probably was on a checklist somewhere he probably has to go around the neighborhood knocking on people's doors saying that he was expressing caught he probably was on a checklist Somewhere he probably has to go around The neighborhood knocking on people's doors Saying that he was expressing Anal glands with his pencil dick He's probably some nasty things going on To me he's probably He's probably like one of those Pill mill doctors

In the rust belt of America Who was actually quite Adept as a doctor But then was prescribing oxycontin so frequently that he had his license removed but secretly he's actually still a great doctor do you know what i mean he's a good guy for sure he's lost his license yeah his reputation is tarnished i think that's fair i think that some of those guys are probably brilliant doctors and that's geniuses.

And some people advocate for very little pain medicine. And some people are like, hey, you need a little bit more pain medicine. There's a fuzzy line. Well, there's an epidemic on pain in this country. And that's why we're introducing the Oxy 80s. Have you ever seen Dumpstick? The new 200s. Yeah, of course.

It's a great show. It is. It's pretty freaky, dude. It's pretty dark. We're introducing the Oxy 3000. Yeah, they call them Oxy Coffins. Do you know Maine, where I'm from, was like ground two, ground one? Yeah, so it was the same with Massachusetts.

If West Virginia is ground zero, then Maine was ground one. Do they do that? Do they do subsequent grounds? I don't think so. Like code red, code blue? Why would they do ground zero instead of ground one? I think people just like to say ground zero because it sounds cool. But doesn't that mean, wouldn't you think that means it hasn't started yet?

And ground zero is where it started. Yeah, what's the etymology of ground zero? Where does that come from? Let's look it up. Peculiar. Do you know how that in in in europe and i think england the first floor is the second floor to us you know i didn't know that the part of the ground situated so there that makes more sense their ground floor is zero zero yeah that makes way more sense and then when we hit two yeah that to them, I think, is three.

One. I don't know. No, it would be one. So it comes from... I may have this wrong, but it's one floor off. There's a disparate... Because they walk in, they're on ground zero. That makes sense.

That's what it should be. Right. And we're on floor one. And then they go up, and now they're on floor one. They're on floor one they're on floor that makes perfect sense so we're always one ahead of them yes i see yeah and everything it doesn't really give up just the floors brother point is maine is ground one of the opioid epidemic and do you remember from dope sick that it was because the governor of maine or the what was it who was the guy from maine he was like working with uh what's it called that may have been it yeah but also because they were targeting places where workers were working yeah in high accident

sites so loggers construction people and there's a lot of logging in maine guys getting trapped under logs you ever do any logging no obviously not but there was no that's what it was it was like the governor or something of maine came out against uh purdue and then like a month later he was working with purdue like they like he they like signed like a contract with him to work for them yeah yeah i can't fucked up yeah i can't blame him though yeah 200 million dollars or a bunch of other people dying 200 million every day yeah you have to take the 200 million um a lot of a lot of buildings don't have a floor 13 because they used to think it was unlucky that's right a lot of

hotels and or like old hotels but then the italians think of 13 as a lucky number not unlucky very interesting it's also lucky to get shit on by a bird that is very interesting or lucky to have a shitty bad weather on your wedding day those are all it's so funny thinking about how those things became a thing it was definitely like some dude just got shit on by a bird and then like he got laid that night and he was like i'm gonna start getting shitting on birds every day because this is a good luck keeping a pigeon yeah just laying underneath squeezing it out like toothpaste yeah he won the lottery and like fucked the girl of his dreams yeah wait a second i guess i'm gonna walk around covered in bird feces all day it must have been

because of the bird it must have been because specifically because of that the wedding thing where it's like good luck if your wedding day is uh rainy is just the biggest cope of all time yeah they're like well i guess maybe we won't get divorced down the road i don't know if i can handle this high-pitched whistle that's coming out of your radiator i think we're gonna have to shut that off again i feel like you're at an age where you shouldn't even be able to hear that seriously i'm surprised you can hear that that is funny but i can hear it like like death you can turn it off if you want do it more open so it just turns to death so like uh don't move any of those wires around though they are very important very crucial to this podcast pitch we're going to have 432 hertz right there now they're probably picking it up on the microphones you opened it completely you can turn it all the way off if that's going to help you

that's an impossible it's probably going to take a little bit for it to stop because now it's cooking it's not just like an instant on and off switch it's a fucking there we go that's good that's good oh my god what a relief i'm immediately i'm i'm pretty sensitive to that's good work like noise pollution if there's two like sounds going on or someone's like playing their phone loudly next to me and i'm like watching something on tv if someone's playing music at the beach or at a bar and there's like other music being played i start to turn insane yeah which is a little bit autistic noise sensitive yeah it's a tiny bit autistic dude ron yesterday um i was doing the bracket and we were piping in with nick and kb and che in chicago and brandon marshall the receiver from the jets just hopped on with them is he the current receiver no no yeah i was

gonna say i played years ago but he was incredible he had like 20 catches in the game or some shit i think he's like a record for the most catches in a single game yeah he's had some monster games interesting and he came on and he was excited and he was such a cool guy he's wearing a chicago blackhawks jersey and very very baggy leather pants the type of pants you would wear to school if you wanted to conceal weapons but that's my first fashion thing now like trench coats are big these were pants duster. It's the type of thing. There was once a PSA that we watched,

I think on like school violence where they showed a guy wearing an outfit and pants, very baggy pants. And they were like, you think he's a normal guy. And he starts pulling out guns and he had like 50 fucking guns. And I'm like, dude,

nobody can walk with a shotgun down their pant leg. Certainly someone would have been like, dude, is that your dick? Wow. Yes, it is. That's my 12 gauge. Anyway. I think that school shooter looking gear is as popular as it has been, as it ever has been, which makes you think that if school shooters had only been

born 30 years later they would have been the cool kids dressing exactly the same yep we could have saved a bunch of lives that's an interesting thought those those photos of like the football players walking into the game they've all got on school shooter fit stefan digs every single yes it's like columbine yeah yeah 100 which. A hundred percent, which I think truly is. And, and now the guys who are wearing like Letterman jackets now are way scarier. What about, what about,

um, does this mean that you think that when skinny jeans are in fashion, school shootings happen at a lower, uh, occurrence? I think there could be something to that because where are you putting the gun? The tighter the clothing, Where are you concealing?

The less likely someone is to bring a weapon to school. Yes. 100%. Where can you put it? Or even if you are concealing, are you going to have a mag with a banana clip? You know what I mean? Right. Right. God, the fucking gun nuts are going to get us for that. Fuck. What? If I say

one wrong word about a gun, people are going to be like he fucking did this. Please do not talk about guns on this podcast if you do not know what you're talking about. What did you say, a banana clip? I said a mag with a banana clip. Oh, brother. The banana clip is the mag.

Yeah. Shame. Shame this mag. Are we getting super follow just got a donation we got a donation Mayo or miracle with they're gonna take that back once they hear

my fucking banana clip and obviously I've had a couple bad ones my favorite clip is definitely the drums titty mags we can't even talk about this anymore why it is fun to look because people get on our

ass I know I don't know I don't know you can't let them you can't let them get to us. But here. Let me finish this thought. Okay. Well, we'll answer that after you finish the thought.

Are we doing this? We're taking, we're taking questions now. Oh, yeah. That's why we're live. Oh, then go ahead. Yeah. If they're giving us money, finish the thought. Brandon Marshall sat down.

He started asking who we were on our side. I was silent. I wasn't talking. Marty Mush said he was a huge fan of brandon marshall and made some quick marty much a giants fan um i don't know but he said that he said he were you were one of my favorite receivers and it makes me feel old to see that you're retired we're talking about how athletes make you the subject of the bracket was like things that make you feel old and it was you

know seeing that an athlete who is in its prime is like six years younger than you are even though they're the mvp of the league like how could this person be accomplishing that much a 12-year veteran is like younger than you so much younger than i am and and so him saying this to brandon marshall made brandon marshall not like like Marty right off the bat and he gave Marty a bunch of shit which was very funny I'm not sure if this bracket episode is out yet but as soon as it comes out it's really worth a watch it's quite funny and he kind of goes around and I'm silent and he gets to me and he's like what's this guy's deal tell me about this guy and they were like oh how much time do you have you know and they're like what's your story and I was like

well blah blah and they were he was like did you ever get you got fired because they were like, oh, how much time do you have? You know? And they were like, what's your story? And I was like, well, blah, blah. And he was like, did you ever get, did you get fired? Because they were kind of hinting at that. And I was like, yeah. So I tried to tell the story as quickly as I possibly could. And then he was like, no, that's crazy. So two hours later. I really did it fast.

Out of character. I did it very quickly. And he liked the story so much that he kept saying, I really like this guy. I like this guy, Francis. Yeah. And he was really gassing me up and was so fond of me. He was quite taken with me. That's what I said.

So we have a kinship with this guy. He then asked Nick to take his phone number and then put the three of us on a group chat. Interesting. Still no text from Brandon Marshall. interesting still no text from brandon marshall but i was so um the the apple i was so in favor with brandon marshall that it made me think this must be what it feels like to be roan where you are so well liked and accepted by the black community oh that's true that was the thought i had because i've never had that before you're like jack harlow yeah dude wow i'm basically jack harlow i didn't know where that's

where that was going to go that's where that was going that's very nice of you to uh i thought i've stepped into roan's shoes for a little bit here that can't that that yeah i don't think the black community on that likes me as a monolith they hate you i think you're a leader they either you either like they either like you or they don't like you i'm like joe biden if you don't vote for joe biden you ain't black if you don't like roan you ain't no i yeah that's i i don't know i like brandon marshall but i i i think he's bipolar i think he's very open with his bipolarness so he might like you today oh you're going to take this from me aren't you you know what that actually makes sense

I bet he was having an episode you're going to rug me for this I don't want to rug you you're going to rug my Brandon Marshall cred no I think we should have him on this show I think we should have him back around because he had a podcast with a bunch of other athletes Fred Taylor Channing Crowder maybe Clark, and they had a thing going.

I am athlete. He invited them to all invest in the company together, and they never did. He paid for it all out of his pocket. They were super unappreciative, and then they had a massive falling out. He basically told the story to Cam Newton, and i think that's why he and cam newton are doing stuff together now they're boys i think that they're boys now but he had a massive falling out with all of his old bros so i think that maybe if we step into like channing crowder fred taylor ryan clark's shoes i feel like we could be brandon marshall's new crew now

if you play your cards right if you're in as tight as you say we are i think we could play it the problem is roan i for me i'm a ticking time bomb okay it sounds like he used to though the less i say around black people the better off i am and if we were to start some kind of a podcast thing with brandon marshall it's only a matter of time before i misstep you think what are you gonna say you know just say that i like the wrong you know i guess spread on a sandwich yeah that's been that brings us to mayo or miracle yeah right back to miracle whip reveal something he doesn't like i don't know don't don't be down i thought miracle whip was whipped cream no miracle whip is uh

you're thinking of cool whip cool whip yes yes yes what is miracle whip i had the exact same thought you thought it was so cream as well i think it's egg-free mayonnaise or or something like that it's like mayonnaise healthier mayonnaise and it tastes significantly worse yeah definitely mayo i love mayo hellman's might actually get a chicken cutlet after this with a little mayo on it mayonnaise that does sound nice. Yeah. I'm a mayonnaise for the record. But I think that we should, there's only one way to settle this. There was one more question that we didn't get to.

Scroll up. If you guys want to take this one. Silver Dave? Oh lord. I gotta go Dave. They paid us for that? Yeah, $2. If you guys want to betray the fan base and not answer that. No, I answered.

You guys didn't answer. Dave? Your silence is deafening, both of you guys. Right now, I feel like we're as nervous as I would be on a podcast with Brandon Marshall. I got no dog in the fight. You have no dog in the fight? No dog in the fight. What?

Now, obviously, Perez so take a fucking bullet for that guy any day of the week dude what the fuck most honest guy i know almost honest guy i know what's your what's your answer um yeah it's dave it's dave in a heartbeat you told me sils before you got when i never said that don't you dog me like that we had a whole fucking we had a whole pro con list up before you before we went live i unfollowed and i i immediately you know cleaned house as soon as that went the other way yeah it's uh that's so fucking unfortunate it breaks my fucking heart when that that kind of shit happens but um you know it's part of the game no bueno and what was the other one there

was another one up on there if people give us literally one dollar we'll we'll talk about anything that you want still waiting on my indie rain check oh so what you went to in indianapolis and i was supposed to go to indianapolis and then i got booked on skank fest so i canceled indianapolis who's that boston connor who's saying that tactical digs that is tishinoto145. A Japanese bro? Yes. Tishinoto. That guy's definitely silves. Did you see that?

Still waiting on my indie check. You're racist, bro. How's that racist? Because you just made a caricature of a fucking very respectable people. You othered Tishinoto. You othered. You othered Tishinotu. You othered. You othered Tishinotu. You're racist.

That's a no-to in my book, brother. Bro. You ever been to Japan? I am dying to go. That's the next one I want to go to. I'm sure you guys will both go there on the same time frame. You want to come with us? It's just a matter of who goes first.

Francis will book a trip. No, no, no. A week later. I would. I think Roan has surpassed me as a traveler. No, I don't think that's true at all. I think that we're almost in lockstep. You go to Dominican, I go to Dominican. I went to France.

After you did. But you go to France, I go to France. I am now following in your footsteps. So where should we go next? I want you to go to Japan, make sure it's safe and then come back tell me i can go we'll take a day off in kyoto like we're goddamn phoebe bridgers god damn phoebe bridgers you guys get your spotify wrapped what are we looking at my shit is i listen to like 15 minutes of music this year yeah me too my shit was bad yeah so little music i don't think i got mine yet is it out

yeah i don't think it's like they send it people to people individually i think it kind of all just comes to you in the mail like a college application mine must be coming tomorrow mine's on the way bro i got uh oh you got here easy to block easy easily giji giji got it i don't know who those people are smoked easy to block captain and he's the block captain and want smoke. And he can get it anytime he wants. We do it at the crib. But, uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, what?

I don't know what just happened there. I didn't know you spoke it. Roan's like, yeah, Roan's got a little bipolar in him as well. Half black, half white. What was that though? Did you just tell him to come to my crib? Is that what you said? Yeah.

Call that off. that though did you just tell him to come to my crib is that what you said yeah yeah call that off because i do not want any of the smoke especially not at hq4 no we have you got it you got it will be on our side that would be hilarious missed that would be hilarious if next time we go live there's just bullet holes all over the wall behind us yeah actually we invited smoke to the wrong crib did smoke spin the block question mark smoke spin to the block podcast that would be like on a snapchat news thing did easy the block captain slide on little sass easy the block to the spin of the block at hq4 barstool podcast holy and then it's just a thumbnail of us just like to me you guys are doing that thing where that girl does that

the emoji thing that's what this sounds like to me oh yum yum ice cream yum yum oh yeah because you don't know spin the block you don't even know heard obviously you don't know spin the block i don't i choose not to know these check your spotify rap right now it's best it's best that you don't know spin the block see what your song of the year is because people think that from all this talk that i'm gonna be a big rap guy my number one listen to song was last night. We let the liquor. So lame.

Dude, my, my, my number one song was mortifying. What was it? I, I, so I only have,

uh, I fly a lot and I only really listen to music when I'm flying now. And, and the only album I have downloaded is, uh, that one Bon Iver album. Which one? The one with the woods.

We're going to copyright it. Hey ma, hey the woods is it like hey ma is it for emma is it no but my top song was restacks i played 3 000 songs like over a decade ago few or many that's very few 3 000 songs i might have played less than you bro honestly there was one that really connected guts by augustine happy by dixie d'amelio that's crazy francis's top artist of the year was dixie d'amelio that's love though that's love that's not right if you get to the if you go all the way to the end they'll yeah just skip all the way to the end they'll give you like a full list of uh your top songs and top artists someone said it's pronounced bonnie verre oh i couldn't get enough of pussy and millions travis scott oh man you do throw me as a guy who listens to a lot of pussy and millions number one drake same did he really yeah number one was you just said i don't

listen to rap. People would, if people saw my fucking. My number one song was Last Night and my number one artist was Drake. My number two was Kendrick Lamar. I'm proud of that. You guys listen to a lot of hip hop. Francis, you and Brandon Marshall have more in common than you think. No wonder he liked me.

This is a podcast of brotherly love. Number three is Augustine. I like that band Augustine. They're good. Drake. Drake probably is the number one on the most people's four is empire of the sun five is jack harlow yeah there you go and what are your top songs if you skip over it'll say what your number one songs are

that was fun i think lizzie mcalpine was one of my top ones which is basically having dixie d'amelio be yours guts the ship prom beacon take a minute you only listen to 18 000 minutes it's not that it's not that's not that low but it's not that much either shout out to anybody who's uh top podcast was son of a boy oh yeah true preach all right what was your podcast what was your top podcast Preach. All right. What was your top podcast that you listened to? American History, The Civil War. Damn, mine was Pat Bev. I listened to 300,000 minutes of Pat Bev this year.

That's every episode 10 times. Yeah, I repeat them. I just have them on it like somewhere in the house at all times i don't even have the volume up you're super dedicated i'm just supporting the i'm just supporting you supporting the brand that's how much i like to support to the brand yeah i'm gonna ask another question wait but before we get to that um make sure you guys subscribe because we're like 400 subscribers away from 100k yeah we love that if you would get 100k on this stream that'd be awesome on the stream on the stream if you're listening and you're watching right now just hit subscribe it would be awesome

to get that plaque yeah that would honestly give us something to put on the wall yeah that's what we're waiting for to put something on also let's hit an ad real quick because we're 30 minutes in let's talk about rent app maybe just a couple Start the ad again because I was doing that. No, no. We just started the ad. We'll talk about- No, I just charted over so it's separate from my drug talk. All right.

Let's talk about Rent App. Rent App. The perfect app for doing cocaine. Oh, come on now. I shouldn't have said it in five. Now we're going to lose our- God damn it. It doesn't count.

It doesn't count. I couldn't help myself. All right. We'll pull it down and then we'll go back to it. All right. Last night. Take't help myself. All right. We'll pull it down and then we'll go back to it. All right. Last night. Take that shit down. All right.

Let's talk about Rent App. Rent App is teaming up with Barstool HQ to give one of our producers a free month of rent. Oh, you got to hit up Kelly Keegs for this. Tune in to the NYC Officewide campaign led by Kelly Keegs on Barstool Radio for all talent to pitch why their producer deserves free rent. Paying rent, it's something we all have to do. And let's be honest, it can be a bit of a hassle what is there to what what if there was a way to make it all easier more straightforward and even beneficial for your financial future let me describe what rent app is real quick rent app is essentially you and your landlord get on the

same page associated with the brand anymore via one app that doesn't uh charge you anything and it doesn't charge your landlord anything and you can seamlessly make payments on that app and then it kind of launches you into this like good credit because they can automatically submit your on-time payments to three credit bureaus it is one of the coolest and most simple apps that honestly i could use because a lot of times you have to write checks you have to bring a stack of cash to some cd location yeah it's annoying a bunch of black market bunk is involved which i personally don't like that's why rent app is just making it the black market bunk rent app just makes it so much easier and that means a producer is going to get free rent.

Lil Sass produces this show. So if he gets right with our Presidente Kelly Keegs, then maybe you could get a free month's rent right here. Totally. So why wait? Head to rent app dot, no, rent dot app slash barstool for $50 off your first rent payment and download the rent app

in the app store today. Head to rent app jinks dot app slash barstool rent dot app slash barstool 50 off your first rent payment awesome now back to the show good reading uh here's what i wanted to ask so um you know do you guys think about dying a lot no come on way more than i'd like to i feel about i think about dying in fortnight constantly i'm big on fortnight right now and i only got two more days to play it well here's what i was wondering do you think that okay so there's like when people react to someone's death there's tears of it yes you know it's like um that was unfortunate the five stages of grief uh it was

unfortunate or or or it's like okay this person died and it's like well that was unfortunate the five stages of grief uh it was unfortunate or or or it's like okay he this person died and it's like well that was a blessing maybe because they were terminally ill they were in pain or they were just a horrible person in the world uh osama bin laden yeah or it depends on if you're on tiktok maybe you love him osama bin laden it was like it was like we got him there was celebration to that that was patriotic that's the that's celebrating that someone died is the far end of the spectrum right yeah but that's big on twitter right now like if a politician dies people go nuts for that okay well then on the other end of the spectrum dancing crabs we were seeing that yeah rotten piss and dancing crabs

it's actually very funny you could post that for anybody and it would be it would make you laugh it could be like a close relative and someone could post the fucking crabs dancing and you'd be like all right that's a little funny she would have loved this she would have appreciated this okay get to get what's your thought what oh what he was playing with a with a with an ad that we don't have okay sorry jesus christ says what the iron fist over here bro don't show your phone trying to get our money up right now well then why don't we get this unsponsored drink whoa whoa whoa this unsponsored empty can out of the way that you're just giving a free ad for for no reason obviously i'm going

to give free ads to la croix i sponsorship. Francis, we'll continue with your macabre thought. The question is, what determines whether someone's death is classified as a tragedy or a bummer? It was a bummer, right? So is it because of the life they led or is it because of the way they died?

Like if I died tomorrow... Tragedy. I don't think people would say it's a tragedy. I think people would say it's a bummer. That was a bummer. No, it would definitely be a tragedy. I don't think it would be a tragedy. So in this hypothetical, how did you die? Then that's the answer that I'm asking.

Yes, yes, you're right. That's exactly the answer that I'm asking. Yeah, that's right. It's not about the life I lived. It's about the way I died. Yeah, if you had a heart attack, it would be like, fuck, that sucks. But sometimes if someone...

Anyways, we're back. It's son of a boy dad. So do you think do you think that even a person who's been horrible in life yeah can die in such a way as to be classified as a tragedy like if they were a nightmare their whole life but they saved an entire busload of children from tumbling off a cliff and sacrifice their life in the process that's a tragedy have they redeemed themselves yeah i think that's redemption i feel like there's like a movie about that or something someone who lives like is it like crash or something like that isn't it in the movie crash like doesn't someone do something terrible but then right at the end they like try to save someone they like save someone or like will smith

seven sins or something like the one in crash like he said like a a police officer like his handsy with a woman and then there's a crash and he like drags her out that's true and so he's like kind of redeemed himself he is yeah it's like a way to if if you sexually assaulted someone that's kind of the best case scenario is basically what the movie was saying and he was racist too for his whole life but they give him redeeming things too like he helps his old father oh you know what that happens in uh in that movie what is it three billboards by ebbing by ebbing yeah that the the cop he like saves the file or something before he dies in the fire right redemption is what he redeemed himself but i think that there's also something different that like uh and i don't want to sound insensitive with this but i think sometimes with if someone's

overdosing or someone dies from like a party drug or something like that party jug it's a little less tragic because they were just trying to have a blast party drug party drug tragic really heroin bummer. Well, I'm considering heroin as a party drug. I do not think heroin is a party drug. Really? I don't think people are going out to clubs being like, let's shoot up real quick. Then they get there and there's just zombies.

If someone took like a molly, someone popped a molly and it had a little bit of fentanyl in it, tragic. And they died, you're saying? Yes. But i think that at least they went out trying to party but that's tragic that's like oh shit they weren't supposed to die if you're shooting up heroin it's like oh that sucks yeah but they had a rough life you and i tried heroin for the first time tonight yeah that's a bummer but that's because that's stupid of us to be doing heroin no No, not tragic at all. You think we have just burned our entire body of work? Yes, I think once you do heroin. With one choice, even though it's known they'd never done it before, this was their first time. Yes.

Heroin overdose. Now we are demoted to bummer? No, I don't even think we would get bummer or tragedy. I think if me and you, who have never even done pills, Just randomly decided, let's go score some H and shoot up. I think people will be like, well, that's just, they're just dumb. We would just be dumb forever? We would be getting clowned on on Twitter. I would be clowning you.

They would be posting the dancing crabs on us like crazy. I would do Son of a Boy Dad alone and me in the chat would just be fucking. People can't even make mistakes anymore. You're talking, it's like a one strike policy one strike hundred percent dumb dumb yes we would be we would be laughed upon even the heroin addicts would be like what the fuck were they thinking bro we've drawn back the curtain on bestiality we've we've exposed all kinds of stuff we've done good things lately we've been living well and now the heroin addict be like there's some good cook up on the streets let's find where they got their shit from damn bro i know so just stay away from heroin and you should be able to avoid that heard heard i don't

know and uh if we're going back to pulp fiction doesn't vince vega he he's doing just like a little bit of heroin just to go out with marcelo Wallace's wife. But he's snorting heroin. Big difference. No, he was, I thought he was banging it and she snorts. Snorting heroin is like ballsy. That's like, oh shit, this guy parties. Shooting heroin is like, get your act together, you piece of shit. Oh man.

There's someone fucking like on their couch watching instead of a boy dad like, yo. Snorting heroin is like a good party trick their feelings are hurt as they slowly remove the syringe from their arm snorting heroin is like chugging a bottle of jameson out of a shoe and being like that guy is the man that's the king of the party

of drug preps which drug has the best like ritual heroin you're talking Of drug preps, which drug has the best ritual? Heroin. You're talking... Yeah, the spoon. Tie it off with your teeth. Tap the vein.

Yeah. Boil the spoon. Draw the syringe. That's the best... Yes. I mean, I know. Rolling weed is a... There you go.

It's way corny. Rolling weed is corny. Rolling once, packing a bong. That's all fun. Packing a bong is corny as fuck. What about chopping up lines with a Chase Sapphire Reserve card? There's excitement involved with that. On a mirror?

That's a little exciting. With a mirror off one of the Obama daughter's cards? Yeah. That is kind of exciting. You get the mirror off the wall? Here's a parallel question. What drug has the best name and what has the worst name? Xanax has the best name by far.

No, no, no. Ecstasy. No, Xanax. Ecstasy? Xanax has three X's in it. know but no it has two x a n a x yeah you're right i don't know why i was mixing in a third x there they should have thrown in a third you're thinking of pornography you're thinking of xander cage you're thinking of vin diesel movies i think if i think if xanax didn't have such a cool name there wouldn't be nearly as strong of an like that you never hear anyone that's addicted to ativan because it's a boring name if someone's like here these two things do the same thing do

you want the ativan or do you want the xanax and ambien is a boring name yeah but who gets addicted to ambien people m&m m&m was addicted to ambien i think i could be wrong about that weed i think is a bad name That's why we call it Zaza now That's why there's so many names for it Even marijuana bad name Zaza I guess is better but I don't think it's

Zaza, Kush, Sticky, Icky, X You know what's got a great name Flower You know what is good too and has a really good routine I think never done it Opium Going to an opium den and then lying down on one of those side pillows in the jungles of cambodia didn't you do opium in uh at bonnaroo 08 yeah before less clay pool i smoked it was like a bowl though it didn't didn't feel like anything i think you need the

whole ritual i think you need like a soothsayer or whatever someone to love to lay you down with the pipe and make sure that it's properly packed all of that and you need to know you're gonna you're gonna have like a dream state much like uh that scene in in um someone said crocodile have you guys ever heard of that that's the one that makes you all scaly that's the no it doesn't make you scaly yes it does you're thinking of a crocodile no crocodile it makes you scaly no it's crocodile is like uh it's like bath salts it's like a florida thing oh that that i thought crocodile was the one that you shoot and it's very popular in uh massachusetts and russia i don't think that's for me the and that's the one that you get scaly from guys super chat us give us a ten dollar donation and explain what i'll look at i'm pretty sure crocodile is the one where you you get really scaly i think it's just crocodile not crocodile

i think you're adding an extra syllable much like the routine for you could argue the routine for ecstasy is the most boring you just take a pill that's it yeah same with that crocodile you get scales no way yeah your skin starts like eating itself that's probably why i call it crocodile magic mushroom's the coolest name. Yeah, maybe if you're six years old. You gotta step up your drug game. Those are marketed towards babies. Brandon Cummins.

Magic Mushrooms. Step your shit up, bitch. Old fucking Dr. Seuss ass. Dr. Seuss saved my life's ass. That's his fucking name. Magic Mushrooms. Mr. Magooby and the Magic Mushrooms. The Pat Bev podcast just asked,

did Roan ever try Crocodile? Probably. Roan's done a lot of drugs. Why are we so adherent to the chat? This is the first time this has happened. We can shut those bitch asses off. I don't want to look at it either, but we can't really do anything, so I've got to make sure

that it's running smoothly. I think you need to stop at it either, but there's no, we can't really do anything. So I got to make sure that it's running smoothly. I think you need to stop your wandering eye. I know. Because I've watched podcasts before where people do this. Yeah. That's really tough to watch. There we go. That works.

Yeah. No offense to chat. No offense to the podcast where people do this. Yeah. Like the daily, like the New York times, the daily podcast. You seem to be struggling with that. Oh, there we go. I did a

perfect bitch don't fucking play with me guys we just had to put the remote control in front of the chats now we are no longer reading the chat that's right we will still talk you know super chats i repeat hold your super chats what's on your guys's uh wish lists for this holiday season world peace how about just some trash bags brother yeah what about them you need some you got a fucking murderer's row of lacroix's over there like you're doing shooting practice last night got crazy last night we sip some bubbly water yeah the lacroix was flowing last night you must have been fucking on one i was gaming hard me and mook and my boy mad i was with you last night wait wait, wait, wait. You added Mook

to the gaming fucking couple? Temporarily. Very temporarily. But you said Pat Bev couldn't get any fucking play with you guys. Because you weren't adding anyone else. And now you just added Mook. Mook got added in as a late fourth and he showed out. Mook is very good

at Fortnite. Very surprising. So is Pat Bev. Something about it just doesn't feel right. Yeah, I can guess what the something is, bro. I can guess what the something is. Jesus, bro. Pat Bev. I met with the fellas. Some of them are a little intimidated.

That's why you had Mook. Who is on the like diametric opposite end of the spectrum. Mook hopped on and he was trying to say that I'm not a redhead, not a ginger. Because you're not. What are you talking about, bro? If you talk to Mook about who's a ginger and who isn't, obviously you're not a ginger. He's like a Nigerian of ginger. Yeah, Mook is the most ginger person on earth.

He looks like a Polaroid you just took out. Brand new Polaroid. But that doesn't mean I'm not. I think it does. You're a house ginger. I think from Mook's perspective, I can see. I can see. That's crazy.

I think from Mook's perspective. I have actual color. From Mook's perspective, I can see why he would say You are not a ginger Yeah maybe I don't know Mook's hair matches your microphone Let me show you a picture He's like protective

You're a mix You have a mix of non-ginger in your blood And he's the product of two gingers In a lab Is he? His parents are both gingers? They have to be There's no other there's no other explanation let me show you his parents are both like they look like the fucking lorax high school no actually i met his parents and i actually don't think either of them are ginger

believe it or not so he's just cursed yeah no he's he's actually he's just cursed. Yeah. No, he's actually... He's scraped the ceiling of how great the life can be. Who are some of the great gingers in history? Tilda Swinton? The dude from... What's it called? Major Winners. Major Winners. Major Winners is a good one.

He's been on fucking every HBO show. Prince Harry. That can't be happening. Oh, yeah. Legend. Who's that? That was Bo. Bo, yo, legend. Who's that? That was Bo. Bo was gone?

I didn't know that was going to show up on my fucking computer. It's annoying. I'm going to show you this picture of me from, oh, here we go. This was me at prom in high school. Holy shit. What? He's a ginger for sure. Dude, you look like fucking Heatmiser.

Show that picture. Show that picture to the camera. That is crazy. That, yeah, you're definitely a ginger. There is a thing in private schools where dudes try to have the craziest hair possible. Wait, it's not focusing.

Bring it out. Bring it out. Bring it out. It'll never focus. I tried this with my bets last time Fuck I hear you Maybe tweet it out. Oh now it's focusing now. It's focusing that is crazy You honestly it's focusing how mooc focuses when you eat when you when we're when I'm in the green room and you can see like The monitor of him on stage and it's just white with just fire. Yeah.

I mean, it was... Why did your hair look like that? Why is it so long? I just grew it out. I had long hair for lacrosse season. I was being... I'd given up. I didn't care.

No, that's because all the lacrosse kids have cool, luscious locks. I wanted to have flow and this was what it looked like. Yeah. Good thing you don't have flow anymore because that is not your look. No. No. I think it's a high school thing i think dudes have crazy long hair in high school yeah that's true did you ever

have to do like the high school thing where they would like buzz your hair for playoffs we did we did that but it was like mohawks and shit yeah you had to give it like a go and get a crazy haircut playoffs yeah i think i was playing sports in high school brother no i was clearly talking to francis here i guess i did win two Catholic League championships in tennis. Did you really? Don't fucking play with me. A lot of people don't know that about Roan. Yeah, two back-to-back Catholic League.

And this is the last time St. Joe's Prep won Catholic League championships in tennis. Wow. Did you rip ass? No. Someone farted. I didn't either. Smell my hole. Maybe it's your malfunctioning air system.

No, it went away as soon as I said that. Maybe it's the fact that, yeah, you actually could be having a stroke. Don't even fucking joke. That's the last thing you smell before you perish. If I had a stroke, this podcast would fucking vanish into non-existence because you guys would be tooling around with the pod track for not knowing what you're doing. Yeah, right, dude. What are you talking about? We have a studio waiting on us.

You have no idea what you would be doing. Right, dude. What are you talking about? We have a studio waiting on us. You have no idea what you would be doing. You'd be so devastated because we would finally crest over 100,000 subscribers and you'd never get to see the day. We'd break it and bring it into a new studio. Black bumps. I got to add it to my will if this podcast ends with me. No, no. There's no continuation of this podcast when I travel on.

Even think about a will. If you had a you you wish dude seven days sober get your chip yeah i'm gonna get this man a chip if you had a stroke is that tragedy yes all the any way i die is a tragedy obviously no no you just said it's really stupid like shooting heroin once no well actually what if it's something that's really incriminating like what if you get like i you fuck a dog to fall what if you fall installing shower cameras in like some high school kids yeah obviously that's not a tragedy but it could be it could be and you break my at my prime young age dude if i die it's going to be a tragedy regardless how did harry die well i'd be like well what did francis do to him to make him go through with this get the fuck out of here it would never be blamed on me be blamed on people

around me that i could possibly force you dude the amount of pedophilia talk you've had in the last two episodes install go bros sass must have been held at fucking gunpoint to set up those cameras i don't advocate for pedophilia i just am curious about the disease about two hours of podcasting that will i'm curious about the affliction it's the flu it is like it's the goddamn flu he's a pedophile sympathizer that's why i'm not i'm not i got vaxed for that exact reason fucking pedophilia is going around badly do you think there's a vaccine for it the government's just holding out on probably because all the government officials are like i love it too much they're addicted they would go through crazy withdrawals yeah that's the thing they'd be like life is just isn't as isn't as exciting bro that'd be funny though imagine if

they came out with a vaccine for pedophilia and then anyone who's an anti-vaxxer of that would be like well you're a fucking pedophile but if you were a pedophile you're probably first in line that's a great i mean that's a way to close the I don't know that's a great I don't know if it's a loophole or closing the loophole but I know what you're saying if you give your child this vaccine or if you take this vaccine it guarantees that you will not be a pedophile so the world would be full of

autistic non-pedophiles yeah it's like well how did you calculate that tip at dinner? Clearly, you don't like children. Do you think heroin addicts are autistic? Oh, God, no. With the amount of needles

they're putting in them? I think Mike McDaniels... How is that a correlation? Because the vaccine makes you autistic. Yeah, but it's not the needles. Could be. I think Mike McDaniel, the Dolphins head coach, is autistic. I was watching Hard Knocks, and it's not the needles could be i think mike mcdaniel the uh the dolphins coach is is autistic i was watching hard knocks and it's like that dude has got to have he's the best though i love he's a great bad hard knocks is really good why are you acting like it's surprising that he's

the best because he's autistic no i'm saying he's the best like he's a he's the he's a cool ass guy he isn't it crazy that he grew up with dan soda yeah and then they're just like that's right they text each other yeah they're good friends and then they're just like at such like he's like so such a high functioning autist like running like a group of like uh 90 like men athletes yeah and sodas like uh a comedian on rick glassman's podcast like stone yeah i mean they're both very successful. True. True.

But it's just different types of success. But I guess you could see how they have the same sense of humor. That's got to be cool to have two of your boys in your friend group to just fucking pop off like that. No, it's got to be infuriating. Why? Because you're like, why am I not a head coach or a fucking headlining comedian? Yeah, true. That is true.

It's like I had all the same advantages as this guy. What was McDaniels, though? I'm not even an offensive coordinator. Was McDaniels the offensive coordinator on the Broncos before the dolphins? I know that he was an assistant coach for the Washington Redskins. Excuse my slur. It was him, Sean McVay.

There was like four of them, Kyle Shanahan. So he never was, he never coached on the Broncos. I thought I, I thought I read some, I'm not sure, but his story is crazy, dude.

I mean, he just went from... He was just a fan. Like, he was just a fan of football. And then was so obsessed with it that he ended up... That's definitely what Stephen Chey thinks that he could do. Chey could have done that if he was more dedicated. If he was, yeah. Yeah.

If he was more autistic. Yeah. He could have done it. It's crazy. You just need a little bit more. You just need to ramp it up just a little bit. Well, that shit will probably put you in that direction. You don't think there's fucking microplastics and metals in that shit?

Hell no. Guys, is this gay, what I'm doing? Yes. Hand over hand is limp like that. Is that gay? Yes. I'll tell you. Have you guys been watching Surviving Barstool?

I haven't. I'm waiting to catch up on it. I've just been watching Surviving Barstool? I haven't. I'm waiting to catch up on it. I've just been busy these last two nights catching dubs in Fortnite. Hank did something very gay. Really? He did? Laid on his side with his knees on top of one another. The fetal position?

No, but like... The way that certain mammals give birth? Oh, not knees up, though? No, laid on his side with his knees on top of each other like this. How else would you do it? Either splay your knees, throw one up, but you can't have your knees touching. Good word. You can't have your knees right on top of each other like this.

Would you have known that to describe not having your legs together like that, you would want to say splay? No. I wouldn't have either. No. That is a testament to you having that. That's single syllable shit. But it's not a word you'd think to use to describe what the alternative

position is. That's why I like how fast you are with words. Here's a good one. A good word. A fun word for a similar type of body position. To have your arms akimbo. Kimbo slice? Akimbo. Like having your arms out invisible lat syndrome okay mate kind of honestly less yeah wow that's going around i probably have i mean i definitely don't have

lats like that yeah i neglect my back which i should have known akimbo just want to throw that out there you would have yeah how would you know where do you know from call of duty holy fuck we're at a,000 subscribers. Really? No. Damn it. That would have been awesome. And I literally blame the fucking...

I blame the fans. I blame the people who are watching right now. A Kimbo in Call of Duty is an attachment where it's just a perker attachment, but you get to hold two pistols instead of one. God damn it. Why the hell aren't you guys subscribing? What are we at? 999 or 995 so we're

still we haven't even gotten up to six we lost we lost followers with the desktop should we do a celebratory dinner when we get to a hundred thousand i would fucking love that you you and me love dinners i think that'd be really fun and maybe i should treat since you guys carried us 99.2 percent of the way no no no you know what carried us 90 50 percent of the way. No, no, no. You know what carried us 50% of the way was that fucking 13 second video I did about a teacher on a Zoom call. Yeah, I think you should have made more videos like that.

Why don't you do that anymore? I don't know. I'd rather play Fortnite. Dave, please don't listen to this. Dave, please don't hear what he just said. Please don't hear the exact words that he just said. He does not mean, he's 100% joking. That is a big, big joke. How many views did that one get?

You would know if I was joking. How many views did that one get? I'm smacking that soundboard up. It got like 2 million. Jesus. On YouTube. That's big. Yeah, big time.

Now Reels, I mean Reels could probably carry us over the finish line. Yeah, maybe. Some Reels, I mean, Pat Bevpog does fucking numbies based off or whatever shorts alone, YouTube shorts. Yeah, but it's probably pretty easy to have Reels pop off when you have fucking like LeBron James

and Mark Cuban on your podcast. Yeah, I forgot we had LeBron on. Production quality of, I mean, it it's incredible better than my actual eyesight if i had held up that picture of me on of my ginger hair on the pat bet pod the internet would have melted to a fucking it would have literally been it would have been it would have been the camera would have been looking through your phone yeah that's right the thing is those cameras what cameras are you guys no the really good cameras the chicago cameras are insane oh i'm sure yeah that's where all the money's going well it is i'm saying the truth it's pissing me off we're using the bed

sure get cozy box the glad are you added an extra box and we added an extra box. You guys at home could see what weird fucking how this looks in here. There's wires. It's like when The wire control situation here is extremely frustrating. The way that the wires are across It's so annoying. It's like when you're breaking into a museum

and the lasers are going at like every angle. Dude, that's why I had to quit drinking. It's like a Vietnamese like trap like that I had to quit drinking. It's like a Vietnamese like trap, like, uh, that like ripped soldiers ankles off. There's like wires at every direction across the floor. There isn't wires.

There's mice traps. Do you know that if you paid a task rabbit to come in here and sort of sort your wire, someone who is an expert in hiding wires and things like that, you'd pay what? 50 bucks, maybe a hundred. There's nowhere for the wires

to hide there's nothing in here it's a fucking box people are experts they could come in and they would make your apartment look seamless i think that if you also paid one of the uh venezuelan women who are putting tahin on mangoes on like uh the subway yeah on like the subway or on fourth ave or whatever to come in and tidy up in here brother i can tidy this place up there's not really much to do have you ever had a cleaning person come in and clean your apartment no i clean myself i got a vacuum what about your bathroom you never cleaned that no i cleaned that with spray and stuff yeah see how we were laughing when you were telling the truth and now you're lying and it's dead silent in here i do i i'm not

lying i clean my bathroom i have to it's dirty but dude those old bathrooms they you can only really get them so clean they're never gonna look clean they are clean but they're never gonna look it why do you choose to live this way i don't understand what you guys are talking about. Not all of us can pay fucking $10,000 a month. I don't buy that anymore. You're doing well. I know how much you make. I promise you I'm not. I sell 80% of the ticket sales.

Not true at all. Less. Maybe less. Once you go to St. Louis for a weekend and you walk away with fucking an Amazon gift card. And then talk to me about how much money you make going to toronto this weekend and i haven't sold you sold out there whole weekend you had the whole thing sold yeah i made like a good amount of units however they pay out there yeah coconuts yeah they do not pay they trick you and they go there's how much money you're making and then they're like but that's canadian money it's just

a big vat of coffee and you gotta you gotta land in jfk and fucking go to one of those windows at the airport where they take a 40 commission what's the conversion rate from poutine to u.s dollars you know it's weird too dude in canada they don't have a symbol like they don't like on all when you go out to get food there's no like dollar sign or anything it just says like 25 cad yeah i don't know but it's everywhere that's not everywhere they use the dollar symbol we had a running joke out there we would just say like oh this costs 25 units because there was never it was never clear how much i think they have it's canadian dollars they use dollars too yeah yeah i know that is one a toonie is two do you know how many sides there are on the toonie? Eight? Twenty. That makes sense.

It's a 20-sided coin. What do you think? That's for the blindos? Probably. Might be. That makes sense. That's a long way to count, though. I know.

And that's like, we're really bending over backwards for fucking... Trolling them. What percentage of the population is blind? Let's find that out. Do you guys remember in Ray, in Ray Charles, the movie

with Jamie Foxx, how they would pay him? They would pay him in $1 bills because he had to count it to know that he wasn't getting stiffed. Oh, that's interesting. Imagine if you had to pay a blind person in Canada in Toonies and they had to feel all 20 inches

of the cold. That would suck. Jesus, 54% of females are blind that can't be right it says it right here genuinely does say that that can't be right 54 of blind people are female no no of all females on earth are blind that's crazy a lot of people don't know that so it says eight 20 million americans eight percent of that's why you see a lot of dudes getting pipe these days or fucking turns out that it's just a corn. That's why girls don't care about like what guys look like. That's why dad bods are in right now.

Right. Because girls can just like tell that you're like, uh, that you're a man or something to hold on. There's like more of you to like find. That's why they tell you that if you have more money, uh, then you'll be able to hook up with hotter women. why they tell you that if you have more money, then you'll be able to hook up with hotter women because they just take that much longer to count their toonies.

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And they're made with real blue tea. Which is just a plus. Go to twistedtea.com slash locations. Get your twisted tea today. Let me hold these. I don't think you know what to do with these. Big game this week for the Philly boys. I went down to Philly

yesterday to record. Made sure I threw in a bet. Money line, Eagles, and the three points that we're freaking getting. Who are you guys playing? Are they minus three? They're plus three. They're underdogs. Pretty tough stretch of games for Philly.

They went Kansas City, Buffalo, and now... And we beat all of them. Wow. Have they paid the refs yet? Is that closer to the game type thing? It just shows me how new you are to football, that that's your line of talking shit because this is obviously your 15th football game that you've watched.

All I'm saying is that the 49ers are looking strong. And they're coming for blood. You watch football through like live streams you guys you guys you guys hurt two of their quarterbacks last year yeah because we're bad asses oh it's just scummy play because you name your kid in buddy bags if you name your kid brock you're expecting them to either play football or be a wrestler right 100 yeah there's nothing else a lord of dog town or something like that yeah if you name your boy christian you're expecting him to fear god christian mcafree is nuts why he's a

bad mofo jalen hurts the bad mofo you know i'll take christian mcafree anytime date event at the frat that i was in in college no what happened she was a sophomore junior at b in high school or college in college He just said college? Yeah. And she came as the date of a friend of mine. And she was so hot. She was so outrageously better looking than every other person I'd ever seen up to that point. We were all drinking and we got pretty drunk and my friend started throwing ice cubes at her.

Because he was like, you're too hot to be here. She didn't like that at all understandable that you guys just surrounded her like a woman on like a bangladeshi beach yeah yeah we'll cut that one out but she came she came to the event and she was cool and then another friend of mine uh got her number and they went out and she like came over and he was too nervous to put any moves on her really and he still to this day considers it the miss of his life because she was indicating that she was interested they would they would they would have fumbled it anyway or it wouldn't have lasted anyway once christian mcafree came into the picture i don't

know that when you i mean a girl a woman that beautiful it's tough it's tough to like rise to the occasion i think yeah you know what's a good way to a good starting point would probably be not throwing ice at her no no that was a different thing and for what it's worth i put a stop to that you did yeah you started collecting yeah because you were heat miser you're probably melting all the ice i like the ice i was using the ice. The fucking matrix. The ice, yeah. I pick one out of the air. Oh, man. Honestly, that's great insight.

That's a cool story. Yeah. That is interesting. She had already, I think she was Miss, maybe she won Miss Universe shortly thereafter. She won Miss Universe? I didn't know that. Yeah, she's Miss Universe shortly thereafter. She won Miss Universe? I didn't know that. Yeah, she's Miss Universe. Yeah!

She was doing the pageants and stuff. Dude, I even think she's beautiful on the outside, too. That's what you guys were throwing the ice at? You're like, your personality is too hot. Swallow this. You're too beautiful on the inside doing so much for the poor we heard how you changed the world we heard your plea for world peace you need this universe still a thing that's like a thing that happens i think someone

maybe just one really but it's definitely still a thing do you think beauty pageants are ever going to end they're just getting more and more diverse pretty soon we're going to have like a seeing eye dog participating yeah and next up from delaware please welcome his pronouns are wolf bark and his talent is sniffing butt that's hilarious i think that uh i think that they'll never stop being beauty pageants because the little girls get started so young. It's everybody's life. And they think it's cool, but it's so freakish. I think it's too young. Like Honey Boo Boo or whatever?

I think that's a pretty common thought. I think it's too young. It's freakish. Yeah, I think that that's like... They all look fucking scary. They're not ready. If I saw one of those girls, like if I came home and one of those girls was in my apartment,

I would scream. They're scarier than like a succubus. Yeah. Than like a floating body. If you found one of those girls in your room, you would be... I would not react to that. I would be so unhappy. But they look like they look like oh no get out of here you

they look like young they look like those girls that are fucking that you would see in like in a horror movie that like are just up in the basement smiling or up in the attic terrifying yeah those are that's that's bad women who are doing that to their daughters and it's never the dad it's the it's like a scared ass dad there's never even like a gay dad who's like that no it's a it's a crazy mom who probably did it when she was a kid yeah and she's been pumped that she finally has a daughter to fucking dress up i didn't win but i know who will yeah you yep pops her out yeah too young too young. Too young for that. I'm going to make you a star. You're going to be a beauty star.

You're going to win the queen of Bridgeport, Connecticut. You're going to be beautiful. Little Miss Bridgeport. Put curlers in her hair. My child is the most attractive child in all of Bridgeport, Connecticut. Learn their song Driver's License by Olivia Rodrigo. You will wear your sash proudly. Oh, no

candy bars for you, little girl. Have some more salad. No dressing. There's not a whole lot of... I got my driver's license last week. Oh, man. There's not a lot of what i feel bad i stepped on your riffs no no no there was no riffs i was i was done i didn't want to derail the riff train no no that train was a runaway speaking of riffs my friends all call those whiffs

yeah they call jewels whiffs why i don't know just to be fun just a fun little thing i used to have a i used to have a friend or i still have a friend but his older brother used to come up and he'd go let me talk to her about the jewel if you had a jewelry go let me talk to her it was very funny that's good um beauty pageant women they don't there's not a lot of career options after if the beauty thing doesn't fail yeah you have commercials nfl player well it's either that or like in a very rare occasion one might um discover that in a certain town the water has been contaminated by the chemical plant flint which says the water is fine but generations of families are suffering nosebleeds which leads to

melanoma, cancerous sort of malignancies. There's got to be some rough towns to be like Little Miss. And they'll pay them small amounts of money for settlements. Little Miss Columbine. Take your shot. This is Aaron Brockovich I'm talking i knew i knew what you're talking about i was gonna let you go off on aaron brockovich class action lawsuit julia robertson a push-up

bra and a leopard leopard print shirt i know the movie i've never seen it though it's worth it i've heard it's good you should see it yeah forgetting you can learn a lot from that forgetting aaron brock. She's unforgettable though. They tricked you into thinking that she was busty because she had a... The bra. The bra. Which she thanked in her Oscar speech. That's all you got, lady.

Two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes. Is that from the movie? Nope. That was just off the top. I just felt like saying it. Well, why wouldn't that be me? You don't think I could come up with that? No, I think you could.

All right. She worked in a lawyer's office and they were like, this girl's dumb. This girl's stupid because she's pretty. The best part is when they pay her at the end and he sets her up to think he's going to underpay her. Yeah. He's like, I know this wasn't what you were expecting. And you're probably you know just just remember like and she's like you know what that's blah blah fuck you and then she opens it

up and it's two million dollars oh shit of the settlement and he goes it wasn't so i increased it who is that charming old man with a little whistly speech impediment he's that great actor he always is in those kinds of movies about like he was in michael clayton yeah he has like a weird speech pattern but he's weird enough like you could be weird enough where you become a great actor yeah he's like that dude from the fucking what's it called the dude who's like the riddler in batman yeah that guy plays a freak in every movie he's in. He's in Prisoners. That's like your best hope. Yeah. Prisoners.

Paul Dano is his name. Yes. He's really good. He's incredible. He's just a creepy guy. He was in There Will Be Blood. Yes. Similar character.

Very unhinged. Very kind of big mood swings. Huge range of sound. Yeah. That scene where he tries to get Daniel Day-Lewis to convert and sort of admit that he's a sinner in the church. Yeah. That scene where he tries to get Daniel Day-Lewis to convert and sort of admit that he's a sinner in the church. Yeah. He's like, how deep? Yeah. I'm trying to remember

what he says. That movie's so fucking good, though. And then at the end, Daniel Day-Lewis bludgeons his head in with a bowling ball, I think, or bowling pin. Yeah, yeah. Pin, yeah. And that's how the movie ends. He's like eating steak on the floor. Bro, that, go re-watch that that movie i hadn't seen it in like 15 years it's so much better than i ever

remembered it being i re-watched it recently as well it's so it's so like uh there's not there no one speaks for like the first like 20 minutes of the movie it's intense incredible have you ever seen it anderson right did you watch the movie he told you to watch the other night the horror movie signs yeah no bro you need to fucking i'm gonna smash your video games so you can't play anymore i started watching the sinner erin brockovich i started watching the sinner there will be blood last a couple nights which is one yeah i watched that i had to watch it because of an ex-girlfriend she was obsessed with it it's good i i just don't understand i love these like

mini series detective shows and that's kind of like that but it's like because it's a different story every season it's a little soap opera it's terrible no i liked it but it's dude in every single one of these movies why is the why is there always this like side plot or shows why is there always this side plot of like the detective being like a pervert because that's that's a network show that needs to get to like whatever 12 episodes in a season 10 episodes they can't do it as a dramatic miniseries it's like six yeah which is really what the proper run for a mystery like that should be yeah there's no reason for it to be that long but doing was like six or seven i have a lukewarm take there's no documentary that needs to be that long. The undoing was like six or seven. I have a lukewarm take.

There's no documentary that needs to be more than one episode. Ted Bundy tapes was really good. Nah, bro. They could have told that shit in one episode. The Night Stalker probably needed all of it. You think so? Yeah. I think they could have crammed it in.

Did you like Night Stalker? I loved it. I thought that one was a little too fucked up. I thought that one was too fucked up. Oh, I mean, it is too many victims. It is fucked up, but it's super good. I thought it was too many victims. I thought it was funny how he got caught.

How the whole city just fucking chased him down. How'd they catch him? Literally, like, he didn't even know he was getting caught. And then they, like, found out who he was and, like, put his fucking face out. His face out. It came out with pitchforks and torches. Dude, he was literally just on the bus. And all of a sudden, everyone started looking around. And like is that that's that guy and then like the whole city he got off the bus and just like a fucking mob of people just

chased him down did they kill him no that sucks because that's one where you're like okay that's some nice nice public justice yeah yeah he was really fucked up. He was scared. Public vigilante justice. Yes. I'm a big fan. I'm always looking for a chance to, if an old lady has had her purse snatched and a guy's running down the street. For everyone to beat the fuck out of him? Or you're just saying to treat him?

Just for me to catch him. Okay. Because he's not accounting for the fact that there's a former division one lacrosse player who used to run a 4.62 40 yard dash. Who horse collar tackle him. And it's why I've stopped wearing boots. Just in case. Yeah, you're always wearing sneakers these days.

I need sneakers. Because you, just the hope of being a hero. Crime is on the rise. I need to fly. Towards it. And I'm going to grab them by the back of the head, catch him, and then smash his head against a storm grate. Do you think if your parents made a little bit more money you could have been more of a Batman type

figure? No, they would have needed to die. I didn't have enough tragedy in my life to reach that level of needing to correct the system. But Batman wasn't even really a superhero. You're saying he doesn't have superpowers.

Yeah, he was just a rich dude. He was a baller. But he's still a hero. You're saying he doesn't have superpowers. Yeah, he was just a rich dude. He was a baller. But he's still a hero. You're saying he doesn't have superpowers, but he's... Those are honestly the two lanes. The two lanes that you can take when you get to Bruce Wayne level of money is pedophilia or superhero. Why you got to go to pedophilia? No, seriously.

If he went to Epstein Island once... We closed that loop. If he went to Epstein Island one time, he would be sitting on his skyscraper in Gotham and been like, figure that shit out yourself. It's probably like the movie Crash, though. He's like trying to bring it all full circle and he feels he's probably has such a dark conscience. Yeah, true.

He's like, let me dress as a bat. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably what it is. Don't bat an eye that I fucking touch these middle schoolers, which I'm sure he didn't do. Do you guys ever wonder how much better off or how much farther along and more motivated you would be in your

lives if you'd experienced more tragedy i don't think it would help me but you know but have you ever were you ever a kid and you're like like were you ever in like like seventh grade and you're or like seven years old and your mom wouldn't give you like two dollars to play video games at the skating rink in villanova and you were like i wish my mom was dead yes i remember one time i was gonna go by i think i was dead you don't have to fucking be a hero yeah we everyone when you're a child you've had that thought gold stairs you're slamming doors throwing clothes around the room i think i would then threaten mom if you don't give me two dollars

to play video games i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'll be dead yeah that would never work on my parents i used to i know it didn't work i think the most mad i ever the most like the most moment i had like that as a child was when i was gonna go i was supposed my mom was supposed to take me to target i was really young i was probably in like kindergarten damn bro you were you almost wished death on your mom so you could go to a fucking big box store she was gonna bring me to target to buy pokemon cards got it and then i got in a fight with my older sister and i bit her and then pokemon cards got canceled and i threw the temper tantrum of the century then you were a cereal biter i hate you like anakin talking to fucking luke skywalker have you ever seen that yes yeah yeah when he

just goes i hate you in like the middle of a fucking battle to the death it's like yeah dude clearly you hate him that's why you're fighting to the death that's why you're trying to kill him it's obvious that's why you're fighting to the death. That's why you're trying to kill him. No, it's obvious. That's why you're fighting to the death. No, we know. Take that back. You don't mean that. Come on. Surely you don't mean that.

No Pokemon cards for Anakin. There's some really corny scenes in old Star Wars. Oh, it's the worst. Who's the uncle? Who's Anakin's? Is it Anakin? Uncle Ben? No, that's Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben is from...

The proper ones. The originals. Who's his uncle? I think it's Uncle Ben? No, that's Uncle Ben. The proper ones. Who's his uncle? I think it's Uncle Ben. No, that's from Spider-Man. No, Uncle Ben. They might be from Spider-Man. Old Ben Kenobi is what they called him. So there was an Uncle Ben. Luke Skywalker had foster parents. He's like, Uncle Ben.

On Tatooine. Yes. They were farmers. And they had a bunch of moons. Uncle. Honestly, they basically lived on Amangiri. It was like fucking these minimalistic little huts. They were like growing the sod

for Amangiri. They basically were, which is kind of nice. Just wearing robes and shit like that. What the fuck? It says it's Uncle Lars. That surely can't be true that cannot be the right answer uncle lars what is it though he's is it luke skywalker or is it anakin where he's like but uncle is it uncle owen he's like uncle owen you were supposed to go to the bing

i forget i got to find this clip. Is that the one where they have to repair things and there's this guy who's this ugly ass fucking alien who's like, he's very stingy. But Uncle Owen, I was going to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters.

Have you seen this? Play it again. But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters. My friends used to quote that all the time. But Uncle Owen. But Uncle Owen, I was going to go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters. It's because he's a guy who has to do chores. Yeah, yeah.

That's so funny to think that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. You're still bitching and moaning. He still had whinyiny intonation like this 80s whiny intonation but i'm going that's not fair i was gonna go pick up some power converters at toji station i wanted to play video games just him like punching that fucking sand wall that they have they're fucking clay walls. I'll do my part. I'll watch that movie. You've never seen Star Wars?

No, I'll rewatch it the same way you said you'll rewatch There Will Be Blood. You've never seen There Will Be Blood? You should start with that. I don't think There Will Be Blood and Star Wars are even close to the same. Yeah, one significantly better. That re-adaptation of Oil by Upton Sinclair dwarfs Star Wars. I might actually watch Star Wars tonight. Sam. There Will Be Blood

has been listed. I know it's a very famous movie. I'm well aware. As like the best film of that century or of that decade. Dude, there's no way you could ever convince me that. I'm saying like it's more shocking to not have seen Star Wars

than There Will Be Blood. I don't disagree with that. I think that's fine. But I'm saying that there will be blood is better than star wars it's an incredible movie dude and i'm saying the 49ers are better than the eagles bro well at least one we can figure out the answer to in a couple days at least one we'll get to the fucking bottom of so you can but i don't know what's gonna shut you up though because every week you move the goal post you're like the fucking chiefs are great. The fucking. No, I hate the Chiefs. I wanted the Eagles to beat the Chiefs. And then you come to the Bills and you're sucking off the Bills.

And then your precious Bills get stomped in. I want all the good teams to lose. I don't actually dislike the Eagles. I just want to see them lose another game this season. Well, they're going to lose another game this season. You think? Yeah, they're not going to go fucking 16-1. I think they easily could.

They're not going to. All right. And you know, they're going to all right it's it and you know it's gonna they're gonna end up losing to some shit team hopefully the giants at the end of the season if they were 15 and 1 do you think that they would maybe bench their starters i think they'd have because the last game of the season they play at the giants and that field has fucking claimed acl after acl and rogers got hurt. Two guys this past week got hurt. I forget who played there.

Two guys on the Dolphins maybe. Dolphins got hurt. Or that one dude on the Dolphins tore his ACL. Or tore his Achilles. He was pissed. Yeah, because that fucking is the worst field in the NFL. Didn't we just look at that study? That's crazy. I wonder if players are going to start a fucking

strike. A uniform turf that was used across fields. Or just grass. Let's use grass. Right. So they don't use grass because it's supposed to prevent concussions to use turf or something like that or prevent injury? It's just probably cheaper would be my guess. Really?

I thought it was an injury thing. Maintaining grass is like work. Expensive, yeah. And especially in like the Northeast. uh doesn't gillette have real real grass no we played on that i played on that field i played a lacrosse game on that in college we was the uh the precursor to the they were hosting the final four that year so we played cornell in gillette stadium philly's real grass, right? I scored a goal. Yeah. Did you? But we got smoked. There you go, though.

That was Max Seabald at the height of his powers, Rob Pinnell. They went to the championship that year, Cornell, and should have won. They were cradling fucking balls of ice to smoke at Olivia Colpo. Yeah. Cool down. We had a lot of people come out to that game, and it was probably the most people we ever had at a game, and unfortunately the stadium looked completely empty yeah that's like 2 500 people

there it's almost not worth it to play in big stadiums like that like i think it's more for the players right to be like this is cool well they needed us to do it because the production team that was going to air the final four needed a like a dress rehearsal of how that was going to work and our game was broadcast on espn you know 360 or some bullshit like that i mean they they play the high school seven we were coming back at one point but then max sebald really just he went off he just sort of said i'm gonna take over you want dummy on you guys goal though that's cool yeah i had a goal i uh they play like high school the high high school champion Super Bowl in Massachusetts played at Gillette.

And it's like they probably couldn't even fit. They probably wouldn't even fill up the front row of the entire stadium. The only place where that happens is Indiana, the state of Indiana for high school basketball. They fill up the way the Pacers play. I can see like Dallas or like Jerry's World getting filled. Or no, maybe not even because there's like a hundred thousand people that fit into Jerry's world or whatever. It's fucking massive.

But Texas, but they also have big stadiums anyway at the high schools in Texas. They might as well. Like, I think it'd be cooler to have a small area that's completely filled up. You can't fucking move than a big area that are big stadium, big field that nobody's at. But that's my opinion.

Heard. Nothing wrong with that. Heard. All right. Well, this has been fun. Yeah, that was fun. Good hour and a half. Wow.

Tasty delights. Any more ads? Nope. We're all done. We'll see you guys on Monday. Thank you guys. Anything you got to plug? I'm going to be in Louisville next weekend.

So go get tickets for that. Toronto this weekend for me. Friday, Saturday. Perfectly said. Providence the following weekend. It's going to be a fun one. Friday, Saturday. FrancisEllis.com.

All righty. We'll see you guys on Monday. Goodbye. Thanks for watching.