Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad #161 LIVE (1/3/24)

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

Son of a Boy Dad #161 LIVE (1/3/24) -- Rone, Lil Sas & Francis go live from HQ4 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. The only podcast. Today it is January 3rd. It is 3 p.m. We are live from HQ4.

Bruh. And the Epstein flight logs are about to drop any second yeah are they dropping because i keep hearing that they're gonna drop i'm at the point now where i'm gonna be disappointed if my name's not on there i think you have to be on i got a shot right you were saying in tomorrow's episode that you had a friend that had a private jet oh i did, yep, yep. You said you had an affluent New York banker friend that had a... I had to turn down a private jet trip over the holiday, over the break. To where? The Bahamas.

Marsh... It was Harbor Island. Oh, God. Have you heard of that place? No. It's supposed to be nice. You could have gone... Someone offered us a ride on a jet and we turned it down because lodging would have cost, for four nights it would have cost us $3,000.

And I had to tell this person, we can't come because of $3,000. Which would have been about, I would think, four minutes of flight time. Damn. That's insane. Telling someone, I should have have lied but i just felt like being honest you told him the dead the dead honest truth well i was almost worried that this guy was going to be like we'll just cover it and then i would have had to be like no i can't let you do that as a man but i would have that's pretty fucking sweet that he was even offering to put

you on a big jet plane out Dude, out of nowhere, man. Private jets have just sort of become, they're just happening. I don't know where this happened. It's not really a thing in my life, and then all of a sudden. I talked to a dude on New Year's that was like, I just bought a plane with three of my buddies,

a six-seater plane, and I just fly it around. It's like my new hobby. It's like, what world are we fucking living in that dudes are just copping planes casually? It's crazy. Planes are really ridiculous, man. Private jets.

Sorry, I'm just trying to promote this. Yeah, this is the biggest sass bait conversation ever, and you're not taking any of the bait. I was trying to promote the show. Sorry, I fucking care about it. Well, we were all, We're done with that. What's going on with the Epstein flight logs? Are they actually ever going to put it out?

Is Jimmy Kimmel a pedophile? It's been supposed to be coming out for weeks. Jack Mack said that Kimmel is not on it. That's interesting. Me and Mook were playing video games last night and we were cracking up over... You guys have seen Succession, right? Yes.

You know when the whole cruise thing is happening and they're throwing Tom to the dogs and they're like, he's going to have to take the fall for us and go to jail? Yeah, yeah, of course. And we were talking about how really all the Epstein flat logs,

they only really need one big person for people to be like, holy shit, that's crazy. And we were saying it would be so fucking funny if they released a list and it was the only person on the list was Jimmy Kimmel. 700 times. And they were like, Epstein honestly didn only person on the list was jimmy kimmel 700 times and they

were like epstein honestly didn't really even know what was going on it was mostly kimmel behind it kimmel just wanted to he was using it as his own personal charter jet like taylor swift he directly made a hole in the ozone layer because of how voracious his appetite for pedophilia was epstein there's like fucking they released tapes and epstein's like, I was actually a huge Kimmel fan. That's why I invited him out to the island initially. I tried to get Carolla to come. I tried to get the original

man show cast out there. Next thing I know, he's fucking kids. Kimmel, what the hell's going on, guy? He asked if he could bring some of his friends. I didn't realize it was a junior high school class.

You're supposed to be doing comedy for us, not fucking kids that would be so funny dude if he's making those tweets being like i had nothing to do with the epstein flights and then it's just fucking jimmy kimmel 700 flights only him just like he was just running up and down the aisles of the private plane just completely alone like bill clinton's like what the fuck is he doing here's here's a question interventions for jimmy kimmel you need to get together these kids space he's like the voice of reason this has gone too far jimmy actually tried to stop him

there had to have been people that went on the plane and got down there and were like, oh, whoa, this is weird. Yeah. But you can't really leave. No, I'm sure once they're there, they're like, you're fucking kids or we're killing you. Can we get the Wi-Fi password, Jeffrey? We want to call our own plane home. They can't get off the island. This is Fox.

What, are they going to swim to the nearest commercial airport? That's what I would have done. Do you see what Jimmy Kimmel's doing with these kids? This is fucked, Jeffrey. Let us go. Jeffrey, bring my family out here and your fucking kids. What the hell's going on here? You said there was going to be a barbecue, Jeffrey.

Yeah. I thought that we were going to play wiffle ball with your secretaries and office workers. I'm here to spend a weekend on little St james island not to be fucking kids i feel like that's how bill gates must have been because he was definitely on it but him just getting out there and just being like nerdily like in the corner like i guess i'll fuck a kid i could see jimmy i could see bill gates out there just like not even like zoning out just like sitting in a corner going into a room with one of the kids and being like, we're going to make sounds,

but we're not actually going to do it. I got your back. And by the way, here's a free laptop. I could see him going into a room and just being like, check out the new Xbox Series X. I could see him not being able to seal the deal. Like having a kid and fucking like

not knowing what to do. Going into the room, just like not knowing how to make a move and the kid's like weirded out. Like away. Look away. This guy's a fucking weirdo. He's not able to get it up. He's scrambling

around looking for his blue chew in his pocket. He has one individual blue chew. He like drops it down a grate. Oh no! Oh no! I'll be back i just have to get down this grate lowering himself down the grate oh man that's good shit i i know that it's fucking true too there's no way that he was that he had any riz for the kids i have a feeling the list is gonna come out and it's just gonna be all like fucking like rich lawyers or some shit that no one knows alan dershowitz yeah it's not going

to be what we want it's not going to be what we're looking for it's not going to be like fucking obama and oprah and i don't even think bill clinton's going to be on any list i don't think there's any way the u.s government's going to allow them to publish a list with a former president being like fucking kids on it so trump what about trump though because i'm already seeing a million tweets where like joe biden had 81 000 81 million votes in the election and was on the flight log zero times donald trump had 74 million votes and was on the flight log six times like it's an electoral college vote which is really how we should determine the election based on who fucked kids less?

Who had the most state by state, who had the least kids fucked. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. Did I tell you guys that I'm reading Some People Need Killing, which is about Roberto Duterte's killing program of the drug dealers in the Philippines? Oh, that is super interesting. That dude, Duterte, is one of the most interesting human beings alive and that he's probably like a bad a bad bad guy yeah he's bad guy but when he left office his approval rate like popularity was like 86 and the country still loves him like

there's stories about him riding up on a fucking the back of a motorcycle and mowing people down who were drug dealers. This is the leader of their country. Democratically elected president of the Philippines. That's badass. He's a huge motorcycle guy. His whole thing was like, I'm going to kill everyone who does drugs. But that's how it used to be. It used to be like the president would be on the front lines fucking fighting.

I think you're thinking of kings. Yeah, maybe. But that's how it used to be it used to be like the president would be on the front lines fucking fighting i think you're thinking of kings yeah maybe but that's how it should be like like joe biden should be in afghanistan but i always wonder you should be in kensington being like get that fucking heel out of your arm but you should be patrolling the streets if you should be like a hall monitor walking down the streets of new y City. You always wonder what, Francis? I wondered, in medieval times, when kings would fight on the front lines, the hassle when they would just get hit by a stray arrow and die, of saying, oh God, now we need to change the regime. Yeah, that would be a massive pain in the ass.

Maybe we should have had him in the third row. Yeah, maybe not front and center. We wouldn't have lost respect if he was in the third row. At least he think anyone would have... Front and center. We wouldn't have lost respect if he was in the third row. At least he's here. We can hear him. Just because Genghis Khan wanted to fucking wave the flag

and fucking march into the breach. I like how they have him front and center. It's like a Wes Anderson movie. Just dead symmetrical center. No one around him. Everyone is aiming for him. You know, he can do... He can do the speech before the charge just dead symmetrical center. No one around him. Everyone is aiming for him.

You know, he can do the speech before the charge where he runs along with his sword and the spears of everybody in the front, but just give him a slower horse so that everyone can get a little ahead. Imagine if the fat fuck leaders of time, like if Winston Churchill had to be in Valen's soul, like if Winston Churchill was in the Battle of the Bulge having to fight, how easy he would be to kill. Just like a fat, alcoholic, 65-year-old.

Well, because it would be like everyone would be going for it. It's like, oh shit, all we got to do is kill that guy and the war is over. You'd pick him out. Yeah. If Hitler was on the front lines, the war would have ended so much earlier than it did that's true because everyone would just be like sniping him maybe he was a great soldier though could have been maybe he was just like john wick hitler's just fucking like untouchable who was the last like leader of a country i guess that dude in the philippines to fucking like be on the front lines doing shit that to say he was on the front lines i haven't i mean i'm halfway

through the book but i think to ron's to Ron's point, they were going house to house with these death squads, knocking on the door, and someone would open the door, and it was like, are you Dave Johnson? Yeah. And they were like, yeah, and they just shoot him. And it's like because we heard from your neighbor that you smoked a joint once. Yeah, that's a rough way to go out. And it definitely wasn't hard to find Dave Johnson in the Philippines. No. That guy stayed too long on his Habitat for Humanity trip.

Yeah. Picking out Dave Johnson out of a lineup in the Philippines has got to be pretty fucking easy. Everybody walks in and it's like 5'3", 5'3", 5'3", 6'0", white guy. Are you Manny Pacquiao? Yeah. No. No, I'm not Dave Johnson. You got me mixed up for another dude?

It's another white guy. But I was watching a translation of a Filipino battle rap. I just saw the stats. The Philippines has 44 battle raps that are over 10 million views as opposed to like three from all the rest of the world. Filipino battle rap culture is fucking massive. They sell out the same stadium

they had the thrill in Manila. Oh my God. But some of the quotes from the battle rap are like, they're basically talking about like, it was directly translated to Duterte's oppressive drug regime or some shit like that. So it's still like a hot button issue

that everyone's talking about in the streets. Yeah. Yeah, they know. They know about it, but he's very, you know, someone made the point to me recently. They were like,

people love dictators. They love them. Yeah. Why? Because it's power. It's leadership. I can say anything. This guy Duterte, he says like, fuck all the time on TV.

I'm going to fucking kill the people. I'm going to kill people. i'm gonna kill people yeah i guess there's no censorship if you're a dictator they can't be like no cursing he makes great jokes he like he says whatever he fucking wants so he's like a goat podcaster people love it yeah it sounds like a few kill in brooklyn sounds like a goat edgelord. Killing Skankfest. What is his... What's the book like? What's their kind of opinion on him?

It's written by a trauma journalist who was there covering all the killings during the war, the drug war. If I was Duterte... How do you say it? Duarte? Dutarte? Duterte.

I actually don't know how to pronounce it. If I was Duterte, I'm killing the trauma journalist. Well, that's part of the problem. I think she's still there now. She's still in the Philippines? Dude, she already wrote the book. Get the fuck out.

I know. I'd be like hitting send on that to the editor while in the air. Yeah. I get the sense that this goes... I'm still... I'm in his first year of his presidency right now. So I think it's going to go poorly? Well, I think he starts becoming a little less selective about who he's killing. He just starts killing?

Well, he's got the hunger. I think he might get into political dissidence and journalists who speak against him, etc. So maybe this book winds up with the author being dead. As far as I know, she's still alive. It's like the McConkie documentary. He's alive at the beginning, and then... Or what's the other one? The Alpinist.

At the end of it, he just winds up dead. Yeah, that was... I've never had a plot twist like that in a documentary before. Where he's just there the whole time? I've never once assumed that, like, even considered the idea of him being dead. Yeah.

Because usually when they make those documentaries... Like, what was the other one with the other dude that was a free climber like that? solo free solo yeah alex yeah you like you never assume that he's gonna be dead yeah he also died in like the world he didn't even die climbing he died in an avalanche yeah he died because he was doing drugs in the philippines yeah and he was he did it was an avalanche of cocaine and And then Dutarte kicked down the door like Rambo and fucking mowed it down. Are you worried about the sound, brother? I am, yes.

Are you getting comments that are saying the sound's a problem? Well, it's like, because you get the combination of people who are just, like, trying to do what they do to Jerry with, like, sounds in Spanish, which obviously the sound is not in Spanish. Por que no? But then, like, then the people that really throw me off is the people who are actually serious. Like, can you not hear? And they obviously know I'm worried about the sound because I keep on putting

my phone up to my ear. Listen, have a heart, people. First off, stop both of you. I feel like I'm separating two warring toddlers. You guys cut it out and you fucking put your phone down.

Well, it's just you got to worry about it because you don't want it to... This is more for you guys. I'm more just the... Let's hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Well, it's just you got to worry about it because, you know, you don't want it to. This is more for you guys. I'm more just the. Let's hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Yeah, but then when the actual worst happens, it gets very uncomfortable. We'll blame Pete.

Let's put that phone down and join us. I'm more just now. I'm just watching the video just to make sure that it runs smoothly. Got that there. But that is no indication of if it runs smoothly or not because that's on the laptop. We just haven't done that. We haven't done a lot from here in a while so you know you got to be you think that people love dictators because they're just like in an abusive relationship with them and they don't know that they're being dictated they don't know that they're taking dict i'm sure like the first three months of a dictator is like unreal everyone is like dude

this guy is the man like he's just killing all the drug dealers dropping off everyone's hands this is awesome this is fucking i haven't seen a drug dealer in a while yeah and then eventually you go you know what i'd like to do right now some smoke a little joint yeah i haven't been able to get any drugs has anyone else not been able to get any drugs but they're just random hands chopped off in the street oh man yeah yeah the dictator thing is interesting uh because i think what it is is like it's always the guy who's like i'm not a politician i'm a regular guy but i'm gonna do things my way and he wears like a bandana and you're like holy fuck yeah and he's not doing that politician thing of being careful about what he says.

He just comes out and he says, I'm going to fucking... Grab her by the pussy. I'm going to do this. So with a dictator, I guess the only way that they can really be stopped is if they're overthrown, right? And they're murdered by the people. How do you stop? They don't vote in a new dictator. I think traditionally the U.S. sends in a Banana Republic.

Kate and Chaps. Yeah. Banana Republic. They put a Banana Republic in the downtown, and that changes everything. Yeah, that honestly makes sense. Throw a Starbucks in there, and people are like,

why didn't fucking Duntardeg give us one of these i'm starting to feel like he's not looking out for us as much as he just get addicted to fucking frappuccinos and you're like wait a second this is better than drugs and stronger you just start getting pharmaceutical commercials on your tv yeah or you get a medical marijuana facility yeah someone smuggles in a single Michelob Ultra. The Sackler family comes in and fucking revolutionizes the country. I feel like Dantard could have definitely given us these before, but I feel like he's not looking out for our best interest. And dictators are definitely on the most drugs.

Like, if anyone's getting fucked up, it's like Joseph Kony. Yeah. Wasn't Hitler taking, like, ridiculous amounts of amphetamines? Yeah, that was him. Everything. Meth. Testosterone. yeah wasn't hitler taking like ridiculous amounts of amphetamines yeah that was everything meth testosterone fucking uh definitely had the craziest wine collection oh yeah definitely was like an absolute booze hound oh yeah because doesn't that happen in uh in band of brothers when they go to when they're in germany was that his collection it was one of the not it was some

nazi leader connect collection yeah it's someone else yeah and they had like nicks go in and take his yeah yeah i actually always had dreams of being allowed to do that myself that scene was pretty cool it's like the matrix when he says i need guns lots of guns instead it's wine and branding stuff yeah i don't even know where i'd start in that situation if you just had all the best wine in the world like i don't even know what the fuck i'd look for i'd need a lot of time because i'll tell you what i stopped at the new hampshire state discount liquor store oh those things are fucking the way back from maine and i needed a lot of time yeah those are fucking i remember i used to go to maine with one of my friends when i was a kid and their parents would stop at one of those big at the red ones they're like red barns there's no sales tax yeah and

they're fucking huge yeah and they would be in there for like an hour just buying a shit ton of stuff for the week yep we gotta go up to maine dude let's go to maine i feel like it's an approachable it's a portland that we could get to yeah yeah yeah really good food scene in portland plus the ll bean store i would kill to go to that ll bean store you'd love it dude oh my god there's a live trout pond in the center they opened up demonstrations over there that's awesome do they do you like do they like the trout so i know we're like bass pro shops they have some stuff like that where you can like test lures not like this is that what it's for though is it for testing flies teach people how to fly fish oh interesting they had a cast and catch and reel and all that oof

imagine being one of those bass in captivity and a fucking eight-year-old with like snotty fingers is trying to fucking catch you for the first time. I think what they typically do when they're testing out lotus is they don't put a hook on it. So how do you know if you catch it? Because you can see the fish. It's like an aquarium. And so you just yank it around a little bit? You can yank it around and then you see if the fish bites it. And so you just yank it around a little bit? You can yank it around and then you see if the fish bites it

But I mean they're always gonna If you have one bass in a fucking cage And someone drops something into it They're gonna take it every single time How do you reel it in if there's no hook? You don't reel it in, it's just more showing if the lure works No, no, they're reeling them in Inside the pond

In L.L. Bean? That's crazy People are like really protective about trout I'm not 100% sure that what I just said is true. Yeah. That would be pretty surprising if they were just letting people hook the same trout repeatedly in L.L. Bean. Yeah.

Those trout's mouths are going to look like a bad teenager. Yeah. So many piercings. That feels like pretty, that PETA would be on top of that. Yeah. If L.L. Bean was just, there's just one trout just getting hooked 70 times a day. I saw some PETA protesters outside of a fur store on Newbury Street in Boston chanting about it. Yeah.

And it made me want to go into the store more. And buy a fur. Really did. Yeah, or at least eat a fucking fat steak out front of it. What are they saying here, Bo? Nothing. They're just looking at us. They're just seeing us.

I'm just checking us out. You're going to need to get out of here and focus on what we're talking about. Why did you only get 20 minutes in the Sam Talent special? I was wondering the same thing. I didn't. No, I see where the red bar is. I saw where the red bar was. I mean, Francis, you'd say that's a good special if you're getting that far into it now.

No way. I've finished every special. He's a friend of the program. But I've seen his stand-up a thousand times. No, you haven't seen it polished. Yes, I have. He benefits from that. You owe him the honor of letting it run, at the very least, to the very end.

All right. Sam, dude, I'm sorry, bro. You came on this show. I didn't see either of you guys promote Sam Towns special. My favorite part of your special was the last half. He's a friend of the podcast. I'm trying to promote it right now. I promoted it. I promoted the hell either of you guys promote Sam Town special. My favorite part of your special was the last half. He's a friend of the podcast. I'm trying to promote it right now. I promoted it.

I promoted the hell out of it. I said Sam is absolutely hysterical. Go listen to his special. I watched the first bit about the trans people being finally a dude who gets it. He's really fucking funny. It's a classic. It's an instant classic is how i'm calling it but i finish every stand-up special that i start because it might be some good shit at the end

i watched the beginning of chapelle's thought it was funny i haven't seen it yet but i will he doesn't touch on trans people does he no i thought that i thought the way that he touched on the trans people in this one was very funny but then they people clipped it out on social media and made it look like that was just like a bit but it was like the whole point of it was that it was a long story in the beginning just to like then be like that's how i feel about trans people and it was like oh shit already i think that was like joke and then people clipped it out to make it seem like it was just like a one-off joke fools fucking fools fools just putting a disgrace to the art dude i want i uh i want to talk about uh the eagles no no god no here we go no it would be more like

break the fucking thing yeah weak ass fucking technology bro try to pay for half of that you fucking ran off with most of the money that would be so funny if with most of the money. That would be so funny if you sent me the money and I just got dog shit equipment. Is this from Five Below? What's this Five Below bag? I just got all of the worst shit. What is this?

Are these two tin cans with a wire in between them? I just got us like telemarketer headsets. Plug them into the fucking aux cord. The ones that you can get at like any gas station. Yeah. I went to a sandwich restaurant that was selling like fucking headsets yesterday. I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? But I went to my grandmom's funeral.

Yeah. And dude, the level of unhinged that my fucking family was. Oh, really? Was so fucking funny, dude. My four aunts are in a fucking absolute war with each other and they were they were saying the fucking craziest and fucking nastiest stuff at all times it was the fucking it was like it wasn't even like it was a funeral it was like it was a fucking episode of game of thrones it was just like everybody was at fucking absolute war like my one aunt to another aunt

who had just got divorced from a guy uh let's call him carl she she walked up to my grandfather's name and it just passed she was like where's carl oh really said that yeah that's hilarious it would have been even funnier if you hadn't interjected about your grandfather being named Carl but it was his grandfather that she was married to oh really not my grandfather

my aunt's not married to your grandfather I don't know what I was thinking it was just so it was so embarrassing and fucking like i i just couldn't turn away from like ants yelling at like fucking young cousins like yeah that's older generations undressing younger generations at one point like after the funeral like after party we were like packed into a car and we like stopped

at my uncle's house and they like ran around the back of the house and they came out with my grandmom's ashes and i was like are we still there they're like no we we talked to him we talked to him they said that we could that's crazy but i legitimately and they just like took him to another house i legitimately and there was nobody home at the first house where they took them from. I legitimately think that my grandma got stolen. That's wild. That's her funeral. That's crazy.

Funerals are crazy like that because you'd expect people to be like, all right, it's a funeral. Let's put this all behind us for now. And it was the opposite. They do not at all. They turned the fucking heat up to 450 and we're fucking flaming each other which is ironically not hot enough for to cremate a body was it uh was it was it a church it was not a church but like uh so one side uh like of the war like wanted to like take over the uh like the the church like the planning of the service and they like hired like this like black choir to like sing

and like the other side was so fucking pissed. Oh, because they were black? No, not because they were black because they were basically doing the Sister Act 2 soundtrack. They were just like... Georgie Winnie. It's so funny. It was. they were just like uh it was and then like it just took me completely out of the moment because the other side was just like scoffing like what is this and the ones who hired him were like pretending to like toe tap

that's so funny it was so fucking it was just the most... Was your grandmother religious? Extremely. That's good. We had my grandfather's funeral at a Catholic church and nobody in my family is religious. My grandma, for some reason, was a very big follower of the church. Halfway through the mass, I felt bad for the priest. It was literally like he was on stage just eating a dick no one knew what like we were this part we're just supposed

to like repeat shit we all were just looking around mumbling yeah and then mumbling the word it got to the point where you'd have to be like all right you can stand up now neil now neil because no one gives the and he's like and i heard that carl was uh a weekly mask he had probably been to church in 20 years. Yeah. This was the opposite. It was like she was super religious. And then they made the whole ceremony like Lauryn Hill and Simon and Garfunkel songs. She had like specific hymns that like really meant a lot to her.

Oh, man. And they did like a remix version of Amazing Grace. The choir was sick, but they were also like filming each other during it oh really they were like we never get to do this shit yeah they're like wait we have like an audience of 150 they're probably setting up the tripods yeah they definitely were it was has a lay of labs on it was so fucking funny dude it was the the amount of deranged irish catholic behavior that's crazy when you when you're not catholic and you go to a catholic service and they tell you to pray or

they tell you to kind of take a knee or any of the things and you do them is that heretical no i don't think so i think it's like you're along for the ride my dad when my dad goes to church he doesn't do any of it but when they tell you to do the eucharist they say if you're not catholic you need to cross your arms and receive a blessing and trust fall the person behind yeah so there is a separate assignment for those who are not catholic which makes me wonder if when he says uh peace be with you and you have to respond and with your spirit. Right. Or any of those things. The like tap tap thing. Or the...

I wear the Tyreek Hill receiving gloves to church. Yeah. Speaking of, his house is on fire right now. Tyreek Hill. Yeah. Is he okay? I don't know. Alright. Did you see on Hard Knocks that he got married and he's had... He got married this season on Hard Knocks. And he has like six kids in between yeah he has three kids since then

if you're gonna talk about football no one gives a shit yeah there's so much shit about tyreek hill and everyone like even me i'm like he's the best yeah who do you beat the shit out of yeah yeah it was a couple years ago he's still clocked 22 miles per hour against the Jets. Was it his kids or was that that other I think it was. No, no, no. There was a Chiefs Hunt. Kareem Hunt.

What did he do? Did he break his son's arm? Then it was like we don't really know if it's true or not. It was a fair fight. Kansas City is a mutual combat city. That's where the bull, you get the horns. Yeah.

That's his fault for just tapping into the lion's den like that. Yeah, that's a running back you're going after. Tyreek was domestic abuse. Yeah, I think he like something in college, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and he like strangled his pregnant girlfriend or something like that but that's because back then he was bringing ball home he talks about it in hard knocks he goes i don't bring ball home anymore once i leave the stadium it's family time

because he was he was pissed off about the route trees that he was running exactly yeah so he had to take it out and look dude some of us get too invested in our jobs it happens yeah are you bringing are you bringing ball home i don't think we gotta i don't think we gotta go at tyreek like this he won your fantasy league whoa whoa that guy won me a lot of money bought the von miller shit was crazy and then like he was playing that week. What was that again? And Collinsworth or some shit was like... And Vaughn Miller had a warrant out for his arrest earlier in the week, but...

Big hit there. Yeah, yeah. It looks like he's bringing his home to work. Oh, God. Bruh. Don't brah me, bruh. Don't fuck't fuck are those new slippers are those uh no they're not no those aren't new one of the uh like most childish things that i like to do with my friends over christmas is be like what did you get for christmas oh yeah what did i like this

game what'd you get for christmas um i got a neck light that allows me to read in bed after my wife has turned off her light. That costs $5. That's a five below thing. Yeah, that's a dollar tree. And then I also got a neck fan, which you can wear around your neck. A lot of neck gear. Look, the neck is the new... The neck is not being utilized nearly as much as it should be a

lot of business yeah a lot of business it's like you're an option you're just hanging two fucking shark tank this neck fan you wear it around your neck and it blows air right here across the front of your neck and a lot of your blood comes through your neck so it cools you so you wear it on an airplane right because airplanes can get hot yeah yeah of course of course temperature you know i'm talking about kill this you wearing a fucking fan around your neck on a plane it's a nice quiet hum hey instead of me being telling the flight attendant excuse me could you turn the air conditioning up because there's always some asshole. By the way, if you're the asshole on a plane who asks them to turn the heat up,

who gets precedent? I've never had anyone do that. On temperature control. You know who's doing that? The women. I think planes... I have tired kills on the plane.

You can always put a layer on. You can always make yourself warmer. But I can't make... I can't get naked on you can always make yourself warmer but i can't make i can't get naked on a plane to make myself cooler right yeah yeah i've never once been on a plane and been like i am fucking freezing a lot of people are though dude the women yeah 100 women go on a plane and they like have to it's like a movie theater or like they just have to like bundle up yeah and blanket up i've been on a lot of planes planes seething with anger about how hot it is, though. Same.

That's why you need one of these neck fans. Yeah, I should get one. In fact, I'm going to get you one. Yeah, I would love one. But you were making fun of me a second ago. We could wear matching fans to Denver. We could do. We could do.

That would be amazing. You guys walking in formation like the flight attendants and catch me if you can with neck fans on. I'm just picturing a dude going onto Shark Tank and being like, are you sick and tired of using your hands? The neck is not being utilized nearly as much as it should be. The neck is one of the human's most functioning tools that we do not use enough. It's the canvas that we should be using to hang everything.

You have the front, back, and don't forget the sides of your neck. The sides of the neck are actually more useful than the front and the back combined. Because you have the front back and don't forget the sides of your neck the sides of the back are actually more useful than the front the back combined because you have two of them my dad bought an entire bag of sweaters and he was like we're just gonna figure out who likes what really that's a good idea just a whole bag of sweaters that's kind of what i did honestly for my family i went to llb and i bought a bunch of shit and then i was like just handing it out smart yeah i saw a tweet about a girl who uh like a south philly girl who said that uh her grandfather came in with a bag of philly's hats and said take one pass it down which is fucking incredible that's awesome that's that low effort gift giving

that i fucking that i really respect i like that i like a little low effort gift yeah that's fine because it's just like i I don't need anything. Yeah. Who's going to win the Super Bowl? Ravens by a mile. I don't know. Eagles actually are. Definitely not the Eagles. They're finally putting it together.

Did you see what was just happening? Like their team's like galvanizing around. AJ Brown, he's saying all the right things in the locker room. I liked that video. They're trying to run him out of town and he's like fucking. I got no words. No words. But now he's finally talking fucking. I got no words. No words. But now he's finally talking to the reporters.

What's he saying? Because he's mad at the coaches. No, but he's saying that the coach covered for them, that the coach threw them under the bus. So I think that it's actually a perfect time to smash a massive future on the Eagles. Who do you think we're going to fire? Do you think they fire Sirianni, that thug bastard? No, they're going to keep the thug bastard, but they're going to get rid of the offense they're gonna get rid of patricia that patriot cock smoker and then fucking brian johnson

the offensive coordinator probably as well unless they just i think they should get rid of sirianni that guy's dragging you guys down no he is holding you guys back it's not the x's and the o's the jimmy's and the joe's i think it's more sirianni's attitude that is holding you guys back like he's a thug like you don't want that you don't say that about an italian guy you know that's a racist term against an italian yeah that's why i'm saying the fucking thug i'm saying it yeah right still talking chiefs fans i can't hear you now we're two and four since then i mean that was the worst video i've ever seen in my entire life maybe one and one and five since then that was like that that was like full body cringe who made that you didn't see that video of sirianni no when they beat the chiefs and he's walking out of the stadium

he goes and he's like you know when they're walking into the tunnel and there's some fans hanging over sure and he looks up and he's like i can't hear you now chiefs fans oh that's and they're one in4 since that video. Ouch. Are we going to go to the Super Bowl as a show? Let's talk to Live Event Lisa and see if they have any hotels at the MGM Grand for Son of a Boy Dad. I don't know. I'm currently batting 0-5 on Barstool Super Bowl attendance.

So I'm guessing this is probably not the year that I'm... Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was on a show that went to the Super Bowl last year and I was told I was not going. Well, they put other people who aren't on the show on the show for the week. So it could be worse. Could be worse. And then it was like. We've got Denver that weekend. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not going to the Super Bowl. Let's not make a push for it. Yeah. I'm not missing out on Denver. We're in Denver that weekend. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to the Super Bowl. Let's not make a push for it. Yeah, I'm not missing out on Denver. We're in Denver that weekend. Come to Denver. Comedy works.

Comedy works, Denver. FrancisEllis.com. What if the Birds are in the Super Bowl? You guys aren't going to skip Denver and come to the game? I'm not going to. I don't think we've got to worry about that right now. Oh, fuck you, dude. Where is the Super Bowl this year?

I think the Patriots have as good of a chance of being in the Super Bowl. Ooh, it's going to be hot that time of year. Perfect place for us to bring our neck fans. Yeah, actually, I mean. Let's bring our neck fans. I hate Vegas so deeply. Vegas is a dark place. Same.

But I was thinking about this. I was talking about casinos with someone the other day And I feel like the casinos in Vegas Are significantly less depressing Than like a West Virginia casino Oh yeah without a doubt Most people that are in Vegas By a large majority

It's like everyone gambling there They're traveling there To be like let's go to Vegas and gamble And have fun and party and drink And do drugs. You don't get hot girls at Mohegan Sun. No, but when you're at a West Virginia casino, you're like, oh, these people live within 100 feet of here. They walked over after work. Well, I think the big difference, too.

After paycheck and walked to the casino. They took their walker and their oxygen machine across the street from their job. Yeah. There's a,'s a in vegas you've got people who live there year-round yeah yeah and you could you can find a decent little quirky coffee shop to go yeah you know water some plants or write on your diary but i wish there was like a downtown that's not a strip mall and not the strip and not old vegas something that was not any of those things i old vegas i liked but it was it was too crowded at nights it's better than fucking

the regular strip it's rough waking up to like walk to dunkin donuts at fucking 10 a.m and it's just naked like nuns outside of your hotel with tape over their nipples x's over their nipples giving you a baseball card like do you want to fuck me in like 10 minutes somewhere else? I actually totally forgot that when I was in Vegas. I was walking with Gardini. And there was a. Like one of those ladies came up to me. And she was like could you take a picture of me and this guy.

And the guy was like no no. And I took the photo. And then I realized that he definitely got charged for me taking that photo. Oh gosh. That was probably why he was saying no. Really? Because I think they charged. Like, that's like, I mean, same shit with when, like, if you take a picture with one

of the fucking. With Elmo out here. Elmo in New York Times. And then you get jumped by Grover Burton Ernie. He didn't pay us. I love in, I love at the end of that fucking, like, there's those New Year's Eve lives. Like, the fucking whoever that dude is that does it. Andy Cohen.

Andy Cohen. I like how, like, 30 minutes after the ball drops, it's just completely empty and there's just trash all over the city. Yeah. Just, like, adult diapers strewn about the ground. I was trying to watch late enough to the point that it could be, like, you would see the dudes dressed as Elmo, like, clocking in for the day. Walking over just holding their fucking their fucking helmet on their side. Just like shuffling through a bunch of trash in 2024 glasses. Sipping on a fucking bang energy.

Yeah. Time for work. Just clocking in. I wonder if they're unionized. We should try to organize those boys. They got to be unionized. I wonder if there's been an uptick in them ever since the borders have been opened you know i would love to knock down one of the power rangers because those guys they're they're

big and you know they're not sturdy yeah they're on stilts or some shit but i bet if they like if you knock down one of them then the other four are on your ass 100 stomping you out. Would you want to come fly fishing with me? Fly fishing with you, brother. Upstate in the, I think it's the Taconic River. Sure. Do you fly fish? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. You've never shared that information with me? I fly fished in Glacier National Park when I was younger. We did it at canyon canyon ranch yeah we've done some fly fishing nice yeah i'm in and then you got and we could all go up we should do a boys weekend up at our place upstate i love it how's the internet good really yeah for real as long as it's good enough for us to squeeze out a boy. Oh, we could do an Epi. Epi pen.

Or we could just pre-record them and release it from up there. Yeah. No, we could go do it up there. That's fine. That's what I mean. We release it. If the live doesn't work up there, we could record the episode in the morning and put it out normally during the day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be good to get. I want to be out in the morning and put it out normally during the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be good to get. I want to be out in the river with hairball. I know it's cold up there. I'd love for you to see how I operate out there. In our waders. It's a work of art. Are you good?

Amazing. Yeah, right. People on the river in New Jersey, they look at my cast and they go, please tell me how, how it's done. A lot of roll casts. No, bro, you got the worst cast in salt burn i'm literally like in have you ever seen have you ever seen uh river runs through it i saw it before you did and i told you to watch it i mean i've seen i've seen that movie i saw that movie like

eight years ago yeah and he told you well before we knew each other came to you and i really told you to watch that movie um do you know the scene where he comes back and Brad Pitt's casting and he's like, and that's when I had realized that Todd had become an artist. That's me. I'm an artist. Yeah, it's amazing. No, you're not, bro.

It's truly beautiful. You're an autist. I think that's the word you're looking for. He called it shadow casting. Yeah. He called it shadow casting. He had finally broken free of dad's rhythmic cast. And that's when I realized he had truly become an artist.

It sounds like the most boring thing ever, but I just want to do it to bond with you guys. It's really fucking fun. I'm so not into it, but I just want to do it to bond with you guys. I'm going to try and get out there this week if it's not too chilly. What's too chilly for your bitch ass? If the water's like in the 30s. It's pretty cold. That'd be great for

me i'll probably just while you guys are fishing i'll probably just cold plunge the place i go in new jersey this is funny the place i go in new jersey there's like a fly shop on the river really close by and i and i went by to get some flies and i was talking to the dude this old really old guy working there and he was like uh you ever tried fishing upstream of the shop and i was like now i haven't mostly just at this one spot and i was like why is it uh is it ever tried fishing upstream of the shop? And I was like, no, I haven't. Mostly just at this one spot. And I was like, why? Is it like good fishing upstream? And he looks at me and he goes, I've already said too much.

You never saw me. So are you going to do it yeah i might it's more just uh i don't know it's so easy to go where i go in the place that he was describing you gotta like park your car and walk and i feel weird walking through like a town with my fucking waders on who gives a fuck me no one's ever gonna see you again like all these guys probably know me from my twitter accounts no it's more just like it was a park with families at it. Okay. Well.

You're not doing something perverse. You're not Bill Gates trying to raise up a 13-year-old. You've never seen me on the water before. It sometimes can get perverse. Oh, yeah? Yeah, with that cast. It becomes very sexual. You're dicking down the mouth of a trout?

My cast becomes sexual quite fast. When you are wearing your waders, but the water's very cold, does it still make you cold? Uh, yeah. But, like, obviously warmer than it would be if you were wet. But you're not wet. Yeah, but you're still, I mean, it's still cold. You don't have insulated waders? Like, your feet get cold.

You don't have insulated waders? No, I do, but it still gets cold. Let's get you some insulated waders. I think you got the wrong gear. Why don't you invest in some insulated waders? It, I do, but it still gets cold. Let's get you some insulated waders. I think you got the wrong gear. Why don't you invest in some insulated waders? It still gets cold. It's manageable. It's never cold enough to the point where I'm like, I can't be in this, but it definitely gets cold.

When I go, all my gear is so good that I can't tell the difference between being in the water and not being in the water. The last time I went, I went on Friday, and it had just rained two days in a row, and water was like four feet higher than it usually is and that was tough that was tough water that's where you need the full body weight yeah i was getting under i was letting the water take me i'll probably just go tubing while you guys are fishing there was some of that there was some of that on the river and we were we were not happy with me and the other me and me and the other angles like four seconds of me as I just go by. Hey, guys. There he goes. What's going on, guys? When me and the boys on the water, because I mean, it's very friendly out there.

It's a lot of just talking water, talking gear. So you're scaring away the fish? All that chit-chat? No, it's usually on the trail what we're talking. Any luck today? You just said it was on the river. See, that's what I mean. You're scaring the fish.

You have no decorum. Yeah, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. I don't need to be hearing this from you, boys. How do you tiptoe into the river? Are you picking your knees up? It's very, very discreet. Yeah.

Like Navy SEAL formation. I'm like bent down. I got a great stance just tiptoeing into the water. Is that because you... And then it's like a... Dude, it's a tactical cast. Like... Yeah.

A lot of that. That was just a preview too? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You're probably scaring the fuck out of the fish. No, I'm not. Sometimes there's a lot of other people. Like when I was out there when the water was really high, none of the OGs were there.

It was a lot of young bucks. And they were getting sloppy. And I had to pull them aside and go, fellas, let's clean it up out here. Did you catch anything this weekend? Oh, yeah. Rainbow. A rainbow? Yeah.

One? Yeah. It was tough, though, because a lot of the rainbows, I hooked onto a lot of rainbows and they were jumping out of the water. And then I would lose them when they would land, when they would go back down. It's very hard to land them, especially when there's fucking six feet of water.

Yeah. I wonder what your next autistic fixation will be. I don't know. I think I'm going to be on this one for a while, especially now that I've quit alcohol. Well, pool goes hand in hand with drinking. So it's like,

I'm not going to go, go into a pool hall sober. It's not as fun. We used to go all the time. Yeah, but you stopped pool way before you stopped drinking. Yeah, because I got too good at it, and then it just becomes not fun. I don't know how you could think that of yourself.

No, that's the problem is it wasn't fun going with Francis anymore because I would lose every single game. It was just like, what am I even doing, dude? I don't even practice. Yeah, well, I wasn't practicing either. We played the same amount. I was never practicing. I was never going to a pool hall by myself

and working on my strike. I guess you just would have thought that someone like you who was always so excited about us playing pool would have at some point tried to find a way to close the gap. And yet, it was always just equally dominant. That's usually a good realization to be in.

Is this something that I actually want to focus on? When it gets hard. Because then it's like now then that was a pretty quick for me like not at all i think it was fun going out after like going to the stand and go playing at like three in the morning while everyone's hammered and being able to beat everybody but then when i go play with you it was like this is definitely not something that i'm going to spend extra time on to win because you don't have the will to do stuff hard. No, I do. You listen to zero minutes of David Goggins.

You don't know what the fuck David Goggins is. You've got to pick and choose what you want to put effort into being good at. You didn't hear David Goggins and Andrew Huberman talking about how the part of your brain, when you do something hard, the part of the brain that that activates, it grows when you do something hard. No, I get that. It essentially fuels your will to live. So the fact that you were scared to play pool against francis is basically saying i was not scared at all like if i had spots tonight i would definitely go play pool with you

like before but it's more like i well you don't have spots but you can still go to a pool there's pool right up the street right here yeah but i i'm gonna play video games because that's more enjoyable yeah because you don't want to do the thing that's harder yeah obviously exactly but video games are hard like we didn't get any wins yesterday and i'm gonna be back on today grinding it out i'm gonna be in the fucking range now war zone war zone it's tough we got two wins the night before zero wins last night multiple second places sloppy i like that video that you made yeah it's a good video huh you should that should be your your main promo i know did you see that francis i i just saw the himathy thing yeah well i don't

know what i was watching i posted a cod clip with my tour dates at the end of it but you weren't whipping that thing around in the cod clip yeah you were fucking i and i don't know shit about it but i could just tell that uh the the rate at which things were happening and the uh accuracy with which they were happening pretty pretty good all right be honest with you with us in the entire range of people who play color call of duty online first percentile worst 99th percentile best where do you fall uh not high i'm like good at call of duty like i can get like i can get like 10 kill streaks or whatever but like in the grand scheme of things there's like autistic dudes who play call of duty 24 hours like a lot of them too right and those guys are

better than like i could ever possibly be when the new like there's dudes with like with like extra buttons on their control they have paddles uh-huh like and there's people that play claw which is when you hold the controller like this right and you use your fingers to use these fingers that's how i play like that's like like i'm never like i'm not gonna be that good but for a casual player i'm pretty good but i've also been playing call of duty since i was like in fucking fifth grade when a new game comes out are the guys who are the best at the older game the first ones to become the best at the new game? Or do they just say, I'm sticking here. This is my spot.

I'm not even going to bother with the new game. No. I mean, a lot of those guys are good at every game. Like Ninja, he used to play PUBG competitively. And that was like another battle royale. And then Fortnite came out and he was like instantly like one of the best. I don't think he was ever actually the best. Because there's always like a fucking 15-year-old kid in Asia somewhere who's actually the best.

But that's like he was like already like top dog. I saw someone say this past week that their autistic fixation was social interaction. Yeah, that's not. That's retarded. Counterintuitive. Well, precisely. That just can't be a thing in any way. But, you know, it just.

Isn't that like the opposite of autism? That's what I was trying to figure out. I'm so autistic I can't stop going out and having pleasurable conversations. Having great and making good eye contact having small talk like do you think that that's who said that was that on tiktok that had to have been a person i talked to personally were they actually autistic or were they saying that as like a joke um i they they might have been they're like a very like intelligent person yeah that that just can't be possible.

Why not? Because how could you be autistic? Isn't a large part of autism being socially awkward? Well, it can manifest in different ways. I think you have a very narrow understanding of what autism really is. That's a good point. I don't know. Maybe I do just it just truly fascinated me a true

a true uh paradox yeah you don't want to see a paradox call that a paradox you don't really see that many paradoxes dude going down to arizona has fucked my life up so bad dude i'm a fucking walking paradox why doc martin's question taylor the title of the creator bro uh yeah his first song thought you boys knew hip-hop i'm a walking fucking paradox i'm a fucking walking paradox he says i'm a fucking walking paradox no i'm not paradox well no i'm right he says i'm a fucking walking paradox no i'm not that's what he says you want to look it up do it what'd you say you said he says i'm a walking fucking paradox that's what he says You want to look it up do it What'd you say you said he says I'm a walking Fucking paradox

That's what you think he said yeah What's the song called Why is this happening in Phoenix What is it called It's I went there for the Arizona Bowl a couple days ago Oh yeah five days ago And my lips

Face and overall body hydration have not recovered. And I still feel so fucking dry from being there for one calendar day. And I was very hydrated, just like I said. No, you said, I'm a walking fucking paradox. He says, no, I said that. It's on tape. Bro, you're crazy. Commenters, weigh off and tell us, what did Ron say?

Am I a walking fucking paradox or am I a fucking walking paradox? Because that would be a split infinitive. I said I'm a fucking walking paradox. Like, I've been covering my body in chapstick, facial lotion, hydrating at a fucking aggressive clip, not drinking, and I still feel so fucking dry i don't understand how it happens and it's every single time i go to fucking arizona it makes me dislike arizona and i know if i go to vegas for the super bowl which i hope i don't go that this is gonna

this is gonna happen again i think i've had i got it way worse in arizona than i did in vegas arizona arizona was yeah that's what i mean i was the driest human being of all time it fucking I got it way worse in Arizona than I did in Vegas. Arizona? Arizona was like... Yeah, that's what I mean. I was the driest human being of all time. It fucking sucks. That was when I got that nasty hangover where I thought I was going to have to cancel the Saturday show. During the day? Dude, I had to sit in a bathtub the whole day.

I was so hungover. In Phoenix? I was just slamming bottles of water. In that condo? Yeah. I stayed in that condo. I sat in the bath. Not even watering it. I just had to sit down.o brothers yes which bedroom did you sleep in you walk there's one on

the right there's one on the left i slept on the left as well so i sat in that bathtub that you were in and threw up we're bed buddies yeah the bed bugs i shat and threw up in it and then you probably rubbed your feet in it i don't think they're not cleaning that thing i don't think i used that bathroom i used a different bathroom. Oh, okay. Luke slapped in the right one. I've been woofing Gatorades down. I'm trying to get electrolytes in. You need an IV. Yeah, I don't know.

I've never gotten an IV. Maybe you should have one sent to your house. How's that going to work? That's what they do, right? You order one online and they come to your house and they just shoot you up. Do you guys have any goals or resolutions for the new year? shoot you up do you guys have any goals or resolutions for the new year yeah my goal is to cut three bits from my hour and put in new bits that are better for the whole year bro you could do that this week no i couldn't why not it's hard that's like 15 minutes of material that your bits

take five minutes maybe that's the problem what how long did you expect them to take? Two minutes tops They're long bits There's multiple different jokes inside of them Which ones are you going to cut? I'm not going to tell you Why? Because I don't want to spoil my hour Shit's going to be on Amazon soon

Yeah right you said seven more years To be exclusive You said eight years one year ago Now it's seven years My special is coming out exclusively on Sling On the Barstool channel minus to run a 4 4 40 damn jeez that's a rough one why you think that's gonna happen i got all year oh you could have all life that shit's not happening it's like gary on the golf

simulator yeah find a new goal could take forever and that shit's not happening it's like gary on the golf simulator yeah find a new goal could take forever and that shit just he's still going i presume so you what what do you what do we think is the actual cheer in the streets a sailor just like kissing a girl they'd be banging pots and pans like in covid you hear the good word the jerry's have hung up the town we'd be hanging out the window this just in chicago kb did you hear kb said on the i was watching live before you guys got here and kb said that if it gets to saturday it's gonna be on it's gonna be on worldwide news it probably will uh that's great or he'll die like that's the kind of thing yeah like uh like we're talking about asian teenagers i feel like asian teenagers have died from like

masturbating too many times in a day fucking drinking too much water in the day they probably have a golf simulator how about you what's yours i mean that's gotta be like that could be like on a thousand ways to die hitting a golf club 10 000 times in the course of 24 hours wouldn't you just collapse before you died yeah i don't know i mean dude his head his hands were i'd love to see what his hands look like after he takes the gloves off because right now he's keeping them on he says that once they come off they're not going back on because he's bleeding through his hands right through the glove gloves yeah oh smart what's your resi i want to have more fun oh shit what are you talking it doesn't even necessarily mean that i need to change anything i it occurred to me that last year i had the best professional year of my life. I had tons of achievements. I was successful

and I did a lot of amazing things and I felt absolutely miserable the entire time. I've never been less happy in my life than I was last year. And I want to have more fun. I don't need to do more. I just need to have more fun. I don't need to do more. I just need to have more fun this year.

I need to embrace the good things that are happening and enjoy them more. Yeah, that's a good idea. I saw a Rainn Wilson interview where he was basically like, the whole time that I was on the office, is he liberal? I wasn't really attached to his politics,

but if that's the kind of thing you want to chase down in your life, that kind of makes a lot of sense. I like how it's completely dark in here, but for some reason it's the best lighting we've ever had. It is nice because we're so ghastly white

that the slightest amount of light reflects off of us. But he said when he was Dwight Schrute, he was always just like, why am I not getting fucking more movie roles? Why am I not getting Fucking more movie roles Like why am I not getting this And he was completely miserable

When he was at the Absolute peak of his Creative career I feel like that happened That you hear that With a lot of people They're like Remember that Oscar worthy

Performance I did Well I almost killed myself Four times during it And they're like Damn okay Could have lived without that Could have lived without That information

Yes Let me enjoy Owen Wilson with Cars. You know that kids movie that everyone loves? Wow. Well, I tried to kill myself when we were recording it. Francis, do Owen Wilson kill himself? Okay, Lightning McQueen. On the set of Cars.

I mean, I just don't know how many more days of this I can take. I'm voicing a car. I mean, how many times have you heard a person become a car? Cars don't really have voices. To me, it's so stupid. It speaks to global warming. We're not really taking advantage of using this vessel as a proper message to kids. Cars have belts.

I wanted to hang myself with one. Do you think people would be enraged if they made Lightning McQueen an electric car to help the environment? I don't know. Is that the equivalent of making Little Mermaid black? What I don't understand about the whole... This is what I don't understand about, I guess, people who get up in arms and say, like, fuck electric vehicles. Oh, I forgot. You're the wrong person asked that

question too i forgot you have an electric car well i do not us gas boys yeah but like you don't have any car bro i don't care boys my point is this if you're someone who's like let's say like you're a staunch like backwater farming conservative who says don't touch my gas vehicle if you gave that guy a ford lightning f-150 the electric and let him drive it for five minutes yeah i guarantee you he'd be like i had no idea how fucking sick this was i agree with you more powerful yeah and way faster and it's exactly the same car you'd be trying to like downplay it it's such a sick dude the f-150 the ford f-150 the electric ford f-150 is fucking incredible it's it's like yeah you can still tow your boat out out of the lake with that. Maximum toe grade? Yeah, you can rescue a herd

of sheep that have tipped over on the road with that thing. You can do whatever you want to do. All the hick shit you want to do, you can still do with that car even better. It's powerful. Maybe you gotta go down there. Let them know. It's not my fight to fight. Could be.

I don't have any fights in 2024 we're just gonna be having fun all fucking year i'm gonna have fun what are you gonna do to have more fun because i'm trying to do more i'm trying to like live life to the fullest right now i'm thinking about doing some drugs you literally you literally just said that you won't go play pool with francis because you have video games exactly i'm living life that's living life to the fullest bro living life to the fullest for me. Bro, living life to the fullest is different for everybody. If I can play video games, do stand-up, do the podcast, go fishing,

see my friends, get out in nature. Francis, you've got to get some clean ecstasy this year. Some really delicious clean ecstasy. I've never done Molly. I need to do Molly before I become a father. We've got to talk to Matthew Broderick's guy. You would be insane on Molly.

Why? Because you already have the joie de vivre. I can see you telling some long stories on Molly. Yeah? Would I even get through it? Would you fucking... Oh, that reminds me of this one time. Bro, that's podcasting.

It's constant riffing. You've got gotta riff. There was a period on this podcast where I didn't speak for so long that I started falling asleep. Really? On this episode? Not actually, but I was like, I'm gonna let you do your thing. On this episode? I think so.

That's crazy. Because you wanna let you riff. I wanna let you run. You gotta riff. You run the show. You gotta riff. Run it. I like it. I like listening to you guys. I like listening let you run. You got to riff. You run the show. You got to riff. Run it. I like it. I like listening to you guys. I like listening to you guys. I like listening to you riff. The riff of my partners.

Everyone does. Brother, you're pressing the wrong buttons. I'm trying things out. We got to switch them out. I know. I got to switch them out. I got to get out of the Cry Eagles Cry one. That is definitely staying for a while.

Son of a Wild Dad, the while the podcast oh we're ending it i just like to do that to see how you react well it's a fucking abrupt ending i'm having fun we got time time for what to keep going a time to kill time for your fucking new bitch ass fucking book that's a good book how's this a good this is a magazine this is a picture book it's a great book look up this quote it's my favorite and then you got this henry david thoreau book my dad gave me that what do you what do you think he's trying to say by telling you to think disobediently he's probably like you're not having enough fun you live in new york in the fucking middle of a cool neighborhood and all you do all day is fucking smash video games in your

fucking crumb dungeon i'm having a great amount of fun. Can I tell you this Thoreau quote that I love which I think will resonate with you? Sure. Do tell. Are you ready for this? Yeah. I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately to front only the essential facts of life

and see if I could not learn what it had to teach and not when I came to die discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear, nor did I wish to practice resignation unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, We should go to the woods. And to you, that's like a 12 kill streak.

It is. That's basically like sucking all the marrow and living Spartan-like in the woods and like getting all you can out of life. To you, that's like smashing a fucking sweet-ass cod game with your bros. That does honestly sound awesome. Let's go to the woods and fly fish and wade in and do that. I think we should do that. Yeah, I do it all the time. Me and my buddies are going out to Wyoming this summer.

We're going to do a catch and cook. Yeah, we're going to go out there for a couple days. How are we going to cook it? Do you want us to come? Should we come? Sorry, fellas. We'll be there. Group's full.

Yeah, right. How many you got? I don't want you boys to starve either. I bet I would probably come with your buddies and we'd kick you out of the group. We could pack some Uncrustables for you boys. No, I would go with your buddies and I'd instantly become... Get your boys some spin rods. I'd be having intimate conversations with them that you never had and they would say boy we didn't realize that harry was in such dire straits or we just didn't know that it was like possible

to have conversations with your friends other than just like lurching over a record player listening to an old bob dylan song we don't do that i have pictures i have still photos of you doing it me and my boys my boys don't even listen they don't do that. I have pictures. I have still photos of you doing it. Me and my boys, my boys don't even listen. They don't even like Bob Dylan like that. How does it feel? It's a good song.

Your boys wouldn't know, but I'll teach them. I'll put them on when we go on this Catch and Kill. Everyone knows that song, bro. It's not Catch and Kill. Born of toilet blood.

Practice was a virtue and a rose full of toilet blood. Blackness was a virtue and a rose full of mud. So you're going to cook them alive? No. So it's not a catch and kill? No, it's a catch and cook. Yeah, but you eat them first. Catch and kill.

That's what people do with pike. Catch and kill is a journalism term. Apparently pike is like an invasive species so people catch them and just kill them. You're allowed to say that because you're Jewish. What? Pike. Pike? Why? Like the slur? Yeah. Pike is a type of fish, brother. You got a sick mind. I'm just joking,

brother. You got a sick mind. Just making a joke. And I wish I could cut that out, but I can't because we're live. You got a lot of hair coming out the back. I know. I really need to get it cut, but I just don't want to, dude. I hate having to do anything that I don't have to do. Which is why you're going to succumb to death so easily.

I hate it. Anything that I don't have to do is like, oh. Wait, let's unveil the plaque. Going to get a haircut. Yeah, let's unveil that shit. And this is a book about Thoreau, so it's not a book by Thoreau. I don't know what that book is. I don't even know what the title of it is. And it's a fucking biography about Thoreau, so it's not a book by Thoreau. I don't know what that book is. I don't even know what the title of it is.

And it's a fucking biography of Thoreau. Black time, bitches. They said it couldn't be done. They said it would never be done. You might remember us from when we were at 100,000. Now we're at 100,000.1. Holy shit. This is awesome.

God damn. I rubbed shit. This is awesome. God damn. I rubbed my balls on that thing. We all get a week with it to do whatever we want. It's like a Stanley Cup. That's what I said, yeah. Might as well come back with blood. You could, dude.

Whatever you need to do with it. Blood all over. We all get a week and then it goes back in the vault. Wow. Can you hang it on the wall? Don't then it goes back in the vault. Don't damage it. Don't damage it. No one's allowed to touch the play button because I have a feeling that once you get a fingerprint on that

it's not coming off. Don't. I'll send it back. We'll get a new one. Put yours on there too, Francis. This one came damaged. I'm scrubbing those shits off as soon as you guys leave. That's not yours to scrub off. a new one we'll get a new one put yours on there too this one came damaged i'm going thumb i'm scrubbing those shits off as soon as you guys leave that's not yours to scrub off it is and

when it was the little sasquatch account maybe i can't believe i let those bitch asses let them change the name i know put that print i think i think the people that convinced me to change the name all got let go when there was the fucking and the ones that stuck around were the ones who couldn't figure out how to get surviving barstool on youtube everyone that made me change the name no longer works at barstool and they were like this is going to be fucking huge for you guys it was huge for me remember when they were remember when we were when they were when we were trying to start a podcast clips channel and they were like no podcast has ever done that and i named like 10 podcasts that have done it they were like the only no podcast has ever done that and i named like 10 podcasts that have done it they were like the only person that's ever done that is joe rogan and then i looked up

you can literally every single podcast as a clips channel but you know what that's what happens bro they hate they doubt the kid they hate they love to doubt me as you have jordan oh yeah how was that that's gonna be great it's fun is that how you did it was that? That's going to be great. It was fun. You did it? Yeah, that was where the Owen Wilson... Oh, yeah. They had me do it, too. Yeah, that's where I remembered it from because I forgot that you used to hit that. That's a great impression. It's fucking hysterical.

Ian had just gone on a date with a trans person. Bro, he showed me... We were watching the Phillies game when... I think it was the day that Hamas attacked Israel. But he was showing me that... Could have at least waited until the Phillies game ended.

He was showing me the trans person that he was dating at that time. And they were smoking hot, dude. I'll be honest with you. A hundred percent. They were smoking hot. I can't front. But he likes a person who outwardly appears to be a woman. smoking hot dude i'll be honest with you 100 they were smoking hot i can't i can't uh front but he

likes a person who outwardly appears to be a woman and then has a penis that's his favorite yeah that's a lot of comics really see sure seems that way i didn't know that it's like every other day you're getting about a different comic fucking the d. Dave Chappelle? Yeah. He just did. I mean, that'd be a great way of hiding it. Getting the, like, appearing like you hate trans people and then just going and jerking off a bunch of chicks. On the low. It's like the... I'm doing some research for this bit that I'm working on.

I'm going to jerk you off to completion. Anti-gay lawmakers always get caught doing that type of shit. Yeah. Oh, shit. We were on break when that shit happened in the senate right when the guy put his tapped his foot under the door no when the guy fucked the other guy on the congress floor what in the in the room right like the car and like was the senate chamber the congress chamber i don't know which one it was but they're like and everybody was reposting it. People who I respect. Matt McCusker was like,

he just posted it on the Twitter timeline. You're scrolling through. And it's a guy filming himself fucking another guy in the ass in the fucking Senate chamber. You didn't see that? No. That was big.

What was that? It wasn't like a senator or anything. It was just like an employee. How long ago? it was like a just like an employee it was like a couple weeks ago yeah just like two weeks ago i'm gonna go look at that i mean it's the rawest form of gay sex possible i looked at it and i was howling laughing yeah just how funny it is for them to be like we should lie down in the chamber you rolled your ankle had to lie down and beat off while you were howling, laughing. Yeah, I did.

That's got to be an exhilarating fuck. Senate chamber? To be like, this is where they make, this is where they change the country. Yeah. And we're just fucking spraying loads all over it. Yeah, this is where like Strom Thurmond and Steny Hoyer were at. Here, you name some. I don't know any.

Exactly. All right. Should we end it? No, we're just getting going. Well, we got another episode that's coming out tomorrow as well. We recorded one before this. That one's very funny,

so make sure you check that out. Thank you guys all for listening. We appreciate you very much. We will see you next week. Thanks for 100K. Thank you. Goodbye. Happy New Year. And have a good January 6th as well We will be off during that time Goodbye