Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Bonus Episode #69 - Time Capsule (ft. Nick & KB)

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Bonus Episode #69 - Time Capsule (ft. Nick & KB) -- Sas & Rone.. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONUSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Or only half of your face is Joker. Yeah, I didn't do anything. I don't want a black face, but I think it'd be cool just to have the solar system on me. Well, because that wouldn't be black face. But if it smears.

Yeah. The NBC thing that Big cat said was very funny but also i don't want to make it like too shane oriented no i don't i feel i i feel like there's a good chance i would do episodes it's gonna be us like so shane like what is uh what is joe rogan like yeah we're just necking him yeah i'm not necking him off who did uh compton get cut by what's it what's somebody that what's a team that he got released by? That's tough to narrow it down. Yeah, I guess it's all teams.

Maybe we could have one of those. The Raiders. One of their logos. The Raiders, the Titans. Was he ever on the R word? Was he the Skins? Yeah. The Skins logo would be dope to have on the face.

Sass. You could wear the R Skins logo on your face to kind of mess with comp that would be true Joker oh we started we started yeah yeah oh my bad it's gonna be freewheeling

is this a bonus episode for y'all it's just next week's episode oh hell yeah what are you doing next week which it was an optional week so yeah bonus

fuck yeah no ads real grind shit we still have to do this week's that's fucking crazy just keep it rolling we'll just keep this rolling and we'll just fucking be in and out like the burger the nick terani show you can host i don't wanna yeah i don't know i don't wanna all right so uh no no let him do the what is up everybody yeah or actually you do it this time

it's the Nick Teraney Show. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. I'm your host, Little Sasquatch. I'm here with Adam Farone. You used to do a good Little Sas impersonation, like, really early on in his tenure. Yeah. It was, like, right in the uptalk era. There was one clip where, for some reason, I had his voice, like, one for one.

Yeah. And I could never capture it again. No, I've had that. I remember one time I was with my friends and we were like drinking and I did a Trump impression. Yeah. And it was like the best Trump impression ever. And I've never, I spent like an hour one time in my room just trying to like do it again.

I just never could get it close. I captured it. One night I had a Liverpool accent down. And then the next night it was like the PMT grit stream. They were like, Hey, can anybody do an accent for PMT? I was like, Oh, I had a Liverpool accent down. And then the next night, it was like the PMT grit stream. They were like, hey, can anybody do an accent for PMT? I was like, oh, I can do Liverpool. This was your moment? Lost it.

Lost it, so I'm just talking normal. Damn, that is debilitating. I wonder what gifts people with the ability to just hear accents and do them fucking perfect. Does it have good ears? I think it's just annoying people. Yeah. I really wanted to try and learn an Obama. I think that would be hilarious if I could just do like a spot on Obama impression.

Topical too. Yeah. Yeah. Right now. Are you talking about Malia Obama? Yeah. Which Obama? Barack.

Oh. Barack. Yeah. I feel like whenever Caliendo talks about it, he's always talking about like you got to get like their mouth right. Yeah. And I don't look at people's mouths. I think that that's very gay.

It is gay. Because you're imagining them sucking you. Yeah, the skin inside of the mouth is the same as a pussy. Yeah, exactly. And it's used for the same thing. Right. Have you noticed that Owen's so fucking drippy today that it might be his drippiest that he's ever been? I didn't notice. I was walking behind

him in the hallway. I saw that they're lulu shorts aren't they uh no bird dogs oh are they past couple months have been low owens hottest yeah what is happening right now let's not make it about you but yeah oh yeah no dude i've hadb i've had some really awful photos taken of me uh like uh there's a picture of me that was put out i was crossing the street for uh the barstool store wearing like a shirt that says dilf oh yeah and it looked like i was wearing like body armor underneath like i thought i was gonna be assassinated but it was just me there was a picture from row and cut your hair and beard so often that you look so different in different content that's actually uh true i do do that because i've never been content with

how i look physically i've never liked it yeah imagine if you were a woman what you would do how much you would change your shit don't joke like that you definitely would be fucking me you have no idea what women deal with. I actually don't, dude. Women are the low-key goats. Women are the sneaky goats of our generation. Would they be yous? Is that a woman goat? You, yeah.

Women are the yous. Yous. I thought you meant yous. I thought you meant the royal you. Yeah. KB, what's up, dog? What's up? Yeah, it's just like getting a new haircut, getting a new apartment.

It's changing up your map on an RPG. It feels good to change up whatever, like who you are, what your environment is. Even if it's not for the better. No way, dude. If you were content with like one thing, you'd be happy. Scoot in. Agreed, but we're not. So we have to switch up our looks.

We have to switch up our brands, our to switch up our brands our personalities we have to yeah i want um for sure if you could just scoot in yeah yeah scoot in i don't i think i think you just i don't need i don't need the screen time for this he's trying to get his ideas if i if i say something that needs like a visual right now i'm just do you have any visual aid jokes? Visual aid? Visual aids? See this would be so much better if we were all facing each other What? This would be better if we were on both sides of a table

Yeah Instead of all of us just looking out No this is a natural conversation Because the viewer really wants to see the sides of our heads Yeah That's how men talk though Men talk like facing squared off

and women talk knee to knee with one another. That's right. Men talk like old Civil War tactics. We march in a line forwards. I fucking hate this room. Like with a passion. Especially having four people. I feel like I gotta be back here. This is like a prison. This is literally a prison cell. This is like if like

Barstool had a Benedictine monk that had a podcast like this is like a prison this is literally a prison this is like if like barstool had a benedictine monk that had a podcast this is like what i would imagine this is what people if people saw the other whole the you're basically looking at the entire sass i feel like if you had exposed brick and plexiglass and what have you like individual chairs with no desk like i feel you'd still have qualms and you'd still be upset. This is just a basic podcasting set. I don't think it would change. Yeah, dude. You need to have this. Bro, you best not be coming at me on my own show. I'm coming at you on your own fucking show, dude, you pussy.

He's on the fucking love, son of a boy dad. You're complaining about how conducive this room is? Yeah. Just fucking be good at podcasting. No, you're right. Yeah, we're just talking i hate the room i'm sorry what do you what do you need changed you're telling me you can't podcast in a sensory deprivation chamber a window would be cool sensory dip that's why i

like having kb on because uh kb doesn't hold back or he he just keeps Sass honest because you birthed Sass. Sass crawled out of your dick as a sad little sperm. I'm like Anakin. Yeah, you are like Anakin. You don't know that reference. I hate you. Anakin, yeah, I know Anakin. I forget what he does, though.

He's Anakin. He turns into Darth Vader, though, right? Well, Anakin, as we know, it dies, and Darth Vader is a... Darth Vader is born. Born. I just remember the pit they- The Sarlacc pit. It was an infinite pit. That really fucked me up.

Oh, that's what the Emperor was thrown down. Do you know the scene I'm talking about where he was over there? I hate you! Yeah. He's burning. They got thrown down a pit. It's one thing to get thrown down a pit. That would suck.

You'll thud eventually. But it doesn't have an ending. He died in midair of old age. No, not at... Is that false? That's how I remember it. It's very similar to when other people jumped off something huge. They died before they hit the ground, like, of a heart attack.

Is that true? I believe so, right? There's something about their legacy falling lifelessly for... It's an infinite pit. Yeah, that's dope. That doesn't sit right. I don't think it was... I don't think it was an infinite pit, first of all.

I think that was a rumor to scare bad little boys. It worked on me. Yes. I was terrified think it was. I don't think it was an infinite pit. First of all, I think that was a rumor to scare bad little boys. It worked on me. I was terrified of infinite pits. I'll go to bed or else the infinite pit. Quick saying I can see right through. Infinite pits? I didn't know. I had no basis.

I don't know if there are any. What do you mean it was a rumor, though? Where were they spreading the rumor? In the movie? Is this on the wiki page? In the plot of the movie? No, I think they never said it was an infinite pit in the movie. All of our parents must have told us that.

Right. Infinite pit. Why did they try to run with it? Because movies were so fucking bad back then that people had to like add things. I was terrified of the infinite pit. Yeah. Even that if a fictional character experienced it once, I didn't like that. Have you guys ever heard the thing where it's like when you're on top of a building, you're not scared of dying?

You're not scared of falling. You're scared that you're going to jump. It's both. I don't think that that's real. That you're that you're scared that you're going to. I kind of. I think we have a fear of falling in it, even if like that fall isn't realistic. Yeah.

You even if we would have to climb up onto something, it's still... Well, you're not afraid of it because you could see the bottom. I'm terrified of infinite pits more so, and especially now that we talk about this seems nothing in comparison. It pales in comparison. Do you have any IP addresses? That's the one thing I...

My research on unlimited infinite pits are next to nothing. Outer space is an infinite pit. That is an infinite Yeah. I mean, outer space, outer space is an infinite pit. That is an infinite pit. That's infinite pit. But what makes it a pit? A pit for me is something that is just a strict,

is just an exclusive fall. So it's a tube. So the, the outer space is everywhere. So just any tube in space? Would it be an infinite pit if I put you, like I dropped you

in like a McDonald's slide, but then closed it off? So it was a circle? No. No. Or the. Because you would be, there would be a point where you'd be able to stand or sit. A Mobius strip?

What's that called? A Mobius? A Mobius strip, yeah. Yeah, a Mobius strip. Are you thinking of a Mobius strip? What if I drop you in a Mobius strip? Would I fall infinitely? Yeah.

But I wouldn't stop falling. It's like only one side of it. Yeah. The sunken place. Yeah. And get wouldn't stop falling. It's like only one side of it. Yeah. The sunken place. Yeah. And get out. Jump into an MC Escher. Yeah.

An infinite pit would be horrible for 20 seconds. Amazing for, comparatively, to other forms of death. You think you would catch up with other people in the pit? Then it would just be boring. Which is the ultimate torture. Are there sides to the pit, though? The pit has sides. That you could work yourself over to and kill yourself?

Yeah, because Obi-Wan was in it. Oh, and you just kind of, can you slow yourself to the sides? Was that Obi-Wan or was that Luke? Well, Luke and Obi-Wan was hanging in a pit, too. What? Luke dies and becomes Obi-Wan. Y'all about to get me pissed off. This guy's a Star Trek fan.

Infinite shit, like MC Escher, i'll look at those paintings all day and be scared infinity is there should be infinite handicap ramps now it's 2022 we should have paintings of that too just infinity as a as ideas is terrifying we don't like that i remember having breakdowns as a child being like what so why would i want to go to heaven it's just fucking forever they said it's they said it's infinite yeah it just goes on forever don't want that it's just good time forever don't want that no no our brains can't conceptualize that yet so maybe give us some maybe tell us it's a thousand years and i would be i would not sin again yeah it's way more desirable if they were like if they pitch us on heaven is is a thousand years of paradise i'm not gonna sin were you raised catholic yeah and it sounded

infinite dude it sounded fucking incredible and then you realize that infinite is do you have a ton of guilt or did you oh yeah yeah still still in some ways it'll just manifest itself at random ass times like sass you've never gone to confession have you no i have oh have you yeah i was raised catholic 23 right what 77 well i'm 70% Jew, but I was raised Catholic. So 23% Catholic. That's what I'm saying. Okay. I don't go to church or anything anymore.

I'm not very religious. I only went three times, though, ever. We had to go bi-weekly? No. A lot. Probably once a month. Once a month. Okay, so.

Then confession. Mandatory confession. Really? Yeah. Yes. I've only gone to confession like probably three times. It was the priest that we knew. Yeah.

And we were in seventh grade. Like, so our religion teacher would do a whole class on masturbating is a mortal sin. He would bait you into talking about it. No, this is a woman. And she had her degree. I'll never forget it.

A message. Auxiliary sex, whatever she called it, is a mortal sin. If you don't confess it, you go to hell. Guaranteed. And then the next class, we're going to confession with our Latin teacher, Father Jim. And now we're like, oh, we're talking to this man about how we jack our dicks off. Yeah.

As seventh graders. He knows all of us. They would not let us go to the screen. They would make us sit face to face with him. He knows our parents and now we have to just tell this man that we know. And then he walks us back down. They definitely had a scheme going.

And then he walks us back down to class after I told him I beat off. And then he's teaching us Latin. I didn't do my homework. He's like, well, I know what you were doing. Yeah, that's brutal. That's terrible. You didn't study last night

and know what you were doing. Yeah, I used to just lie. That's a sin. Give us the declension to wouldn't but i wouldn't have anything to confess i was like in second grade i would be like oh i yelled at my sister there's a lot of that and he'd be like what made you do that like i don't know i'm fucking six years old i was frustrated yeah yeah What are you doing? Why are you asking me? Why are you guilting me? Dude, but like I told the priest I beat off in my, I had to go say like four Hail Marys in front of like a Mary statue

and she has her tit out breastfeeding Jesus. That just makes me want to go again. And it's in front of like candles. It's candle lit. It smells of incense. I'm horny as fuck. I'm going to just drop eight Hail Marys just to get

out in front of the next one. I'm giving you eight. It was back and forth like a Mobius strip. It was never ending. It's just like a Mobius strip. Dude, I went to Confession recently and I actually never wound up even putting out the shit.

Because it got too real I didn't believe you actually won I have it I'll show you I wouldn't yeah I would like to hear it it's six minutes it's kind of long

you don't want to hear it all but I was just confessing to shit and then he like he was like why do you think you're doing all that oh fuck and he like fucking

he caught me in my tracks did you confess to throwing a cactus at KB yes anything think of anything that I've done that I would like to know. The way that I've wronged all of you guys.

Why did you? I think I was just trying to be unique, dude. It's like a garden state when the dude's like, no one's ever made this sound at this time. No one had ever thrown

a cactus to KB at that point. It's true. Was that your first cactus catch? It was the first one anywhere. It was the first one anyone's done. He's gotten to the bottom of this.

Yeah, I didn't... But it was actually a soft cacti. It wasn't a hard-ass cactus. Yeah, dude, it was pretty whack that your teacher was making you guys talk about jerking off. It was. You definitely told the truth to the T of every curse.

And some days you probably didn't like sin there's probably some weeks where you had gone like you actually were clean i had probably in my best run probably four weeks sinless i i remember everybody in eighth grade was saying fuck and they like cornered me on the playground yeah and they were like uh not even a playground it was a parking lot we all stood in and they were like we were they were all taking turns saying fuck and i wouldn't do it and i was getting made fun of i remember i remember the fuck site yeah the fuck all you had to do was say fuck yeah there was no like no one had an advantage

yeah i just had to say it but this is true i would have nightmares where i like was being forced to say fuck and i wouldn't do it like for a week straight and so my mom woke me up in the middle of one of these nightmares and made me say fuck to her and then ever since it's insane nick fuck that's what nick was born earlier than eighth grade i remember it and it just shows how humans are so inherently like prone to take advantage of other people's vulnerabilities whenever you make my peers didn't want they didn't care if i said fuck or not but they knew it would i wouldn't do it under pressure and it would make them look better and me look worse. We should try to do a sinless week. I mean, it's a lot harder.

You're married, which is a huge loophole. Once you get married, there's no sin. Yeah, you can't even sin anymore. No, I can't, but coveting a neighbor's wife only applies to me. You guys don't have wives that you can kind of betray or anything like that, so any coveting, I mean, you guys don't have wives that you can kind of, like, betray or anything like that.

So any coveting, I mean, you guys are kind of a blanket covered on coveting. You can just covet whoever you want. We could covet. Well, no. I can covet thy neighbor's wife

even if I'm unwed. Yeah. Well, can you covet a single broad? What was he just showing you? He was showing me some nice pain ideas. I don't think you can covet a single broad. You can covet a single broad.

For real? Is it a sin? My thing is envy, dude. I'm like envying you right now. And they say that's the worst sin. What is there to envy about me, dude? Being married? You're the goat.

Because you're the sneaky goat. I've envied all of you in here, to be honest. You're the sneaky goat. I've definitely envied my boys. But how do you stop envy from happening how do you I think it was kind of like the stride fan effect we shouldn't have even talked about it

I think you just have to replace it with another deadly sin furiously envying Tyler out there yeah glutton is avoidable glutton is avoidable that shouldn't be it glutton isn't just food glutton shouldn't be it. Glutton isn't just food. Glutton shouldn't be a deadly sin.

Yeah. I think God is fatphobic. No one is eating to spite others. Is there any fat saints? It was probably when there wasn't a lot of food to go around, right? Probably. I went into a comic book shop once. I asked if there's any fat superheroes.

And it's like a superhero who's just like regular fat without having it be like part of why they're fat. Like part of their superhero. Just like regular fat. Just happens to be portly. Yeah, because like every fat superhero is called like the blob or he can like eat people. That's his thing. Yeah, it's part of his Kirby. Superhero-ness.

But like just completely unjudgmental. Just a guy who happens to be fat. Yeah, Kirby's, I guess, pretty portly. No, there's not. I mean, Kirby literally inhales people. Yeah. Yeah, but that's a fictional thing. There's no human superhero who is just kind of overweight.

Like a chubby. But they've been like... Big cat. Yeah. To us, he is. But they've been adding flaws to superheroes like gay like yeah they're making them gay my weakness yeah or like the models with the spots yeah yeah the pigment spot winnie harlow type of shit we get it they're still attractive yeah you're hot

now there's a lot of spotted models and Too many. A surplus of spotted models. It started with freckles. And it was just like these bitches and freckles who would have been burned at the stake at one time in their life. Kate Upton has the mole. Cindy Crawford was the first mole. But people like the mole. People like the mole. Yeah, they want to lick it.

But why do they like it though? I think it's just a little thing that shows, like, this perfect woman isn't textbook. It humanizes them. Right. And you can tell, you can go on any Reddit, subreddit that's porn-based, and it's, the top posts are always people

that have some degree or characteristic of attainability to Redditors. Like, what do you mean? So the hottest girls will never be in the top. They'll hate them. It'll always be girls

who are, like, nerdy and have, like, a Zelda map in the background. Yeah, they always have a Triforce tattoo. But these bitches are playing the game, though. It's like when eating pizza was like spunky. But this is purely a porn page. And these guys are still treating these women as if they are in their mating circle. They're making them feel attainable.

It is. Like, yeah, just thick glasses. I feel like used to be a hack that these bitches would be like, oh, I'm a fucking librarian bitch. Yeah. Well, now it's all like the gamer girls. circle yeah they're making them feel attainable yeah it is like yeah just thick glasses i feel like used to be a hack that these bitches be like oh yeah well now it's all like the gamer girls yeah right because all the gamers are like oh we play the same games she'll probably won't have sex with me but they're not fucking nice at it or any of them like top 20 in the world i think pokey these games these gamer girls are getting so much money because like these guys, that level of intimacy they have just because they're both gamers. They pay them so much.

That it's like it's a psychological thing you're seeing into their room. They're paying. So they say your name. The fact that it's live is a huge deal. Read your name out loud. People literally will donate money. So they'll be like, oh, Nick terrani donated five dollars yeah yeah so it's just like they like little sasquatch i mean out of the people so like come bubble 28 is it pokey

main is that her name yeah like she she gets like what like 40 000 people watching her play video games yeah how many of those dudes you think are like actively masturbating half yeah at least no they're like so broken they think like i gotta respect oh yeah yeah you should no they're like so broken they think like I got a risk oh yeah yeah you should but they're like I would say yeah like 30% are masturbating and like 70 or 60 are like I this I have a chance with her so I'm not gonna masturbate

right now and it would be weird for when I eventually treat it like a date like this is my chance to learn about her and she's this it's intimate environment they the streaming shit is weird. Those people are like the biggest people on the internet right now. Yes. Every day I go onto Twitter and it's like, or who is it?

Quackity? They're like, Quackity fell out of his chair. And there'll be like 700,000 tweets and there'll just be a clip of him like slipping out of his chair. Have you seen, have you heard? Dude. Yeah. Corpse husband. Have you heard of him no oh at corpse yeah yeah the rapper no he talks like this he plays games but nobody's ever seen him but women just assume he's like the

hottest guy in the world yeah and then a picture of him surfaced and it was the funniest thing and like all these girls like no that's not him yeah yeah dude there's a lot of those that dream guy yeah he doesn't show his face but these people are making fucks or what no dude i always like no probably not because it probably ruined i mean it ruins it he just has to completely only get off from people thinking he's hot they probably send countless nudes to him yeah yeah but like he's not able to like he can't like go to a bar and like use that no no he's he'll fuck via the internet. Quackity. There's plenty of girls who will fuck him via the internet. It'll be just very awkward.

They'll just come and they'll show up and kind of be disappointed. Because it's guys who have zero confidence that just acquired a bunch of like status and fame at once.

So they're, they don't know how to act. So they'll get a bunch of like, like designer clothing. Yeah. But still can't, they can't speak in the capacity of a womanizer. Yeah.

Yeah. They're losers. I'm trying to picture what the equivalent would be like for KB of like a girl who's like always playing video games because she thinks the guys are jerking off or like. There is an equivalent there are like or like a girl who like has wrestling on in the background and is like

that is like a very good metaphor is like the wrestling girls there's such a small amount of them and such an even smaller amount of like attractive ones so like the good wrestlers are like that to them did we talk about this the last time we all got together?

I think we did I don't think we talked about girl wrestlers no girls we want to fuck wrestlers oh yeah yeah we did there's a name for them right? singlet chasers singlet chasers it's so funny. They're growing.

It's a growing breed. Do you think wrestling would be more popular if it didn't suck? There's so many issues with it. Yeah, it should just be a different sport entirely. Yeah, what if they threw a ball in or a puck? The number one issue is that it's so technical that it's boring to watch even if you know the sport. And maybe that's why sumo wrestling is more appealing to the masses

because it's like, No, but no one actually watches sumo wrestling. I used to watch it. The Japanese watch it more than we watch, like, I don't know, like, baseball. Not baseball, but... Really? And it makes the dudes feel better about themselves.

Like, it's just some fat, fat-ass dude out there fucking wearing a gi. In the really old UFC fights, there would be a sumo wrestlers in there. Yeah. Yeah, there would be. It was crazy.

It was before it was called the UFC, right? No, it would be like UFC like one. Crazy disparities. Yeah. Like who was the. Joyce Gracie.

Joyce Gracie. I think it's Joyce. Joyce. There would be like a kickboxer up against like a 700 pound it was essentially the show deadliest warrior that they try to bring to life yeah but the sumo wrestlers would get their asses handed to them yes the kickboxer there's one specifically i can't remember which one it's in but he like just kicks them right in the face and the dude just like collapses because sumo wrestlers cannot fight now they're not there to fight they're like

there to push people off balance like there to push people off balance. Like they just knock people off balance. Yeah. Like they're not there to like brawl out. You have to know sumo wrestling to even beat a sumo or even compete with a sumo wrestler. Has that come to haunt you? Like, do people assume you're a good fighter?

Oh yeah. The whole, it's become a meme. Like if you have, if you see someone with cauliflower here, don't fuck with them. So that's not haunting me. It's helped me. But you're, if you see someone with cauliflower here, don't fuck with them. So that's not haunting me.

It's helped me, but you're, but you're fuck with a bull though. Yeah. I can't punch. So if you've gotten a fight with me, you could punch me and I would, it would hurt. And I would probably wouldn't even hurt though.

I would fall and I wouldn't be able to punch back, but you'd fall and grab my ankle and start alligator. A lot of drunk guys can't do that. They can't throw hands themselves. So I would be like, I would have an advantage to take them down yeah i've never been punched no you shouldn't nobody should that's more of like a knock on you ron should alone should a lot well my nose looks like this because i have got punched have you gotten punched oh for sure i've gotten punched not a ton but i got a philly game? This was at a pickup football game when I was like 15 years old. It broke my nose.

But I've gotten punched a lot. Why'd they punch you? Because the week before, I ran onto the field and a guy was running back a touchdown. And I ran on the field and speared him as he was running for a touchdown. Wait, were you even in the game? I was like, we were rotating one we were like rotating one player out. We had one more. It was like.

You were playing like hockey? It was like one, our town, it was like town versus town. And so our town had one other dude. So I was just rotating out for that play. And he was running down for a touchdown. Sounds dirty. It was dirty. I deserve, probably deserve to get punched.

Yeah. By the dude. I punched one person. RJ Kearns. Oh my God. I would have paid to see that. It was, it It was seventh grade. We each got in a box, like the tins of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

I got a time wizard and he bent it because he's just jealous. I got it not him. That's a golden rule. Yeah. Don't bend time wizards. Getting punched doesn't suck that bad though. For real? I've never been punched and I've never punched anyone.

It doesn't suck. But I've almost punched someone. I would like to have a bloody nose just so I can ignore it. I was so prepared for that being a thing about adulthood. It's just having to fight and get punched. Everyone, take your beatings.

My parents used to encourage it. My dad, at least, he'd be like, you have to beat someone's ass. You've got to learn to punch. Don't take shit. I was telling you to beat people's heads. I'm going to have to fucking defend myself a lot when I get older. I would get like I would get like bullied by a kid. I would want me to go to school and kill him.

If you're an adult who is in those circumstances, you are you are the worst of the worst. When somebody's like, oh, every time he gets drunk, he wants to fight. Oh, he's a cunt. He's a dickhead. He's a person. A terrible person. Yeah. Nick, would you mind just punching me in the side of my head?

No, I'm not going to do that. Just one in the side of my head. No, because I know I'm going to accidentally hit your temple when it's probably going to cause a clot. Before we know it, it's embolism city, baby. You'll clot up. I'm not made of glass, though. I feel like that's what you learn when you get punched. Well, I think we all are made of glass.

Dude, I don't think we are. I think one person could come in here and just punch and just wipe up the whole office. Just walking through like a rocking sock. One punch through all of us. Just a follow through. If he lined us up like the picture of all the white dudes at the Red Sox game. Yeah. He might be able to knock out everybody with one fell swoop.

It would be like those like things on the desks of CEOs. Just done. Yeah. Our entire staff should be punched more a lot of adults should be punched well like a lot of people truly hate us and i think it's easy to give them like oh they're just trolling on the internet but i think they do truly hate us they should punch us more yeah and there's it's hard to not get away with it but anyone who does the punching to your point earlier probably deserves to be punched exactly it's not like justice in there's so much hate online just come punch punch the people you hate if it would like i don't think you would get away with it you think that it wouldn't we are very easy to find

we you know where our offices and where we go out in general, you could find us out, punch us. And that would be it. That would be, but do you think that I've seen so many people get in fights, get punched, get knocked out, vice versa.

And that's it. I'm the type of guy to die. You guys can punch us if you hate us. Yeah. So if you don't DM me, but we have to dab it up like two dudes who just fought and it's like, Oh, it's all cool.

It is such a weird, it has to be cool. Like like two dudes who just fought and it's like, oh, it's all cool. It is such a weird insult. It has to be cool. Like something like you hate someone on, you're like, oh, if I see you in person, I'll knock that ass out. It's like, no, they should be saying that and they should be doing that. But it's like you could say anything. They do say anything. They say the meanest things in the world to us and more so to our coworkers. Come punch us.

Like come knock us out. I don't want i don't want to i guarantee you'll get you'll get away with it legally oh yeah we did dude the way that i mean like steven crowder remember where steven crowder got knocked out or something he got punched to the side of the head fucking her no geraldo punched someone heraldo like punched a nazi or something would you ever punch someone back if they just came up and like hated your content and domed you? I don't know how I would react. I would be a pussy probably. So more so do it.

I would 1000% cry. Yeah, dude. I would cry. Not out of pain. No. Not out of pain. I would cry because it hurts. Oh, I would be crying because it would be embarrassing.

Yeah, because like nobody's ever on the side of the punchee. No. They're just like, like oh you just got punched yeah why'd you get that dude fucked your shit up why'd you get why'd you let him punch my online posts yeah and that would destroy us and like instead of sending us a paragraph of why we should be fired or how much we suck punch us a lot of you guys have like uh i see your locations i see your location you're right around the corner. Wilkes-Barre, Glen Burnie. That's a mega bus.

That's just a drive. Pump punches. A $12 bus ride to go punch someone. If this comes true, I'm going to be so mad at you. I'm just saying, you guys should start punching us. Imagine the bus ride back to Wilkes-Barre after you punch someone. It would be like looking out the bus window. You would feel way better than having your DM get ignored.

Before you punch someone, after you punch someone. Punch shots. Looking out the window. It's fucking significant. I mean, you could leave and make it back in time to see the baby pens. Yeah. Ice up your hand. Yeah.

Or you punch right, you get the right knuckles. It'll probably feel pure like hitting a fucking ground rule double. Dude, it'll just, I could use it some more. It'll probably humble up everybody. There's a lot of local Yankees fans. Go punch hubs. You guys always talk about it. It would probably humble up everybody. There's a lot of local Yankees fans. Go punch Hubs. You guys always talk about it. He goes to the game public.

Go punch Hubs. Go punch Tommy Smokes, dude. Punch him out. Knock him out cold. Knock out Tommy cold. Marty Mush. Everyone's talking about it. Go punch him.

You aren't. You're literally wasting your breath. You're wasting T-Smokes. You're in Perth Amboy. You can go walk and punch him in the same day. Same shift. You'll probably pass him. He might be on the same route as you, and you could punch him.

Don't waste your keystrokes. Those are finite. Exactly. A punch, like, think of how many keystrokes equals one punch. It's probably just, like, one slur is the amount of energy it would take to do a punch. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words is a punch worth? Probably just, like, a hundred. That's a book. That a book that's like a few dumps a few instagram dumps yeah oh shit yeah a book yeah it would be incredible the ladies too dude we got girl co-workers everybody's got something to say about erica yeah go fucking not yeah everyone has something

to say about erica they don't they don't agree with the way she runs the ship. They don't agree with her podcast. Knock her out, Cole. Oh, man. Sass has been tight-lipped over there. Well, I'm like, I don't want to get punched. I don't want to get punched either. I'm saying that's how it should be. What if you get a DM that says

I'm on my way to punch you? Then I'd have to welcome it and defend myself how I see fit. The internet has killed the punch. It does nothing for either party to just send them a hateful message that they'll ignore. People pop off way more.

Just go punch. The Jews just punched Hitler? Yeah, my god. They could've. Don't bring the jews into this y'all should have just did it it's like you were voluntarily yeah it's not the hypothetical shouldn't be punch or kill baby hitler it should be like punch teen hitler yeah i think that would have just made him stronger preteen hitler in the long haul there was probably a one sweet spot where you could have punched him and it all would have said it right. I don't know when it was in his life. I think you can do a lot of like

tests, long term studies on people who have been walloped publicly and I bet you none of them have committed a serious crime since. School shooters definitely haven't been fucking punched. None of them have been punched. They're all un-punched. But not punched though. It's like modern bullying.

A lot of that is a stereotype. Yeah. Like the Ovalde. That shooter. He didn't get bullied. He was the man. He was the quarterback of the football team.

He was the bully apparently and no one took him seriously so people would just laugh when he'd try and be a dick to someone. And then all the headlines were like, he was bullied really hard

in high school. It was like, well no, he was just an asshole and a psychopath. If you were bullied hard enough in high school, you would just start well, no, he was just an asshole and a psychopath. If you were bullied hard enough in high school, you were an asshole.

Just start a podcast. Yeah. Just start a podcast. That's massive facts. We got fucking time. We got plenty of time. Yeah, what time is it? Let's throw an ad read-in

right here. Oh, fuck. Steve just texted me. For next week. For next week, we'll have ads. They're ready for me to... Please come on camera, dude.

Please come on camera. What are you? That's my team. We're Groucho Mont. That camera, dude. Please come on camera. What are you? That's my team. We're Groucho Man. That rules, dude. Yeah, yeah, it is. Can't tell who you are at all. Who is it?

That could be fucking anybody. Who the fuck is he? I feel like I'm losing my voice again. You're not. No, you're not. Yeah, you sound good. It's getting raspy again which i'm worried about your dc i already finished it bro you're a fucking fiend i know sass uh he said

that he almost fought you earlier because uh he was uh in in withdrawal from nicotine that was the one time he almost punched somebody yeah i didn't i took his vape and i snapped it i said you're too young well i'm really confused on what just happened there with the punching thing. Well, Kyle? Yeah. He's, so, if there's any crossover listeners,

well, there's some, I'd say 12% of your audience makes up for 100% of ours. That's not true. That's not true. Somehow your YouTube, that same 12 is, They all watch twice 78 percent of our kyle has been just like so angry lately and really like getting off takes and uh it's been

really good for me but he sent our the anus group a text and he was just like i'm not meant to live long it's gotta be about out of nowhere i know no he's fired up he got sprayed by sediments by a street sweeper that would piss me what do you mean sprayed by sediment he got sprayed by sediment but the street sweeper sprayed with sediment so they they like kick up wait what do you mean set up the rocks yeah and it sprayed him and then the guy tweeted, I'm sorry for the spray. Nuh-uh. Yeah. The street sweeper knew him? Yeah. I feel like his frustration with the

world is similar to when Sass got really pissed at the world and shaved his head. And he just, maybe this move could really change that because Sass, I feel like your move from Hell's Kitchen really helped your mental health. Yeah. I mean, my mental health is deteriorated deteriorate deteriorating huh again because my room is trying to my room is killing me slowly

why is your room killing you i don't know dude it's like every day i wake up with new symptoms it's like a disney movie it's my air conditioning and i got a humidifier last night which kind of helped i don't know if it helped it's like smart house but just uh put a bowl of water next to your bed yeah i've heard that works it doesn't my mom made me do it and i just like i just left it and then it just got moldy yeah there's a bunch of mosquitoes dragonflies just busted in your yeah i didn't notice my fucking nose bleeds because i have fucking malaria now it's my room turned into a marsh. A fucking bog.

You got a bog ass room. That's one of the one biomes I've never been to. A bog? I've never been to a swamp. I've been to a swamp. I've never been to a bog. Oh, really? There was a lot of bogs in my town growing up.

Yeah? Cranberry bogs? Yeah. Yeah. Where are bogs? Are they in like Minnesota and shit? I mean, a bunch of cranberry bogs in my hometown. Oh, Wisconsin has a lot. You could go skating on them in the winter because they only get like a foot deep of water.

What happens to the cranberries underneath the water? Do they just freeze over for the winter? They gather them all before the winter. Yeah? They're stray berries? There's like pictures of... Have you ever seen the pictures of people that are standing in the cranberry bogs? Oh, it's crazy.

And they're surrounded by berries? There used to be an ocean spray commercial where dudes were doing that and they were well then i didn't know that cranberries were underground berry underwater berry yes they are they're buried buried buried buried buried is that why they call them berries yep i knew i fucking knew it dude yep i knew that's the original berry yeah what are you doing for the fourth of july that's a good question um i'm supposed to be at the shore for an obligation oh fuck i can't say that yeah you can this will be out oh yeah um for that an obligation uh to do a commercial kind of thing i guess or i don't know uh but i don't want to do that so i think i'm going to play sick very nice maybe are you uh staying in new york i think i will yeah i'll be here So I think I'm going to play sick. Very nice. Very nice.

Are you staying in New York? I think I will. Yeah, I'll be here. And Sneddy will be here. Oh, Sneddy will? Yeah, you love Sneddy. Yeah, I do. Ron's going to be in Barcelona.

Barcelona? Barcelona. I'm about to go to Barcelona tomorrow. How do they con people that their lisp was part of the language? And like, it's like hot everywhere else in the world. A lisp is like nerdy as fuck but like a bar a catholic woman yeah so a bartholona is hot uh lisps can be ranged from a huge spectrum of lisp most of them suck some are gay yeah those are funny a lot of them are gay some of them are from a cleft lip or something like that, which leads to pedophilia. Does it? Oh, yes.

You never watched Gone Baby Gone? What about Joaquin? Yeah. Well, he's probably a pedophile. Joaquin? Joaquin Phoenix has a cleft. Really? You never saw the scar he has?

I love him. You love him? Mm-hmm. Bro, here's a fucking fun fact I learned about this in my fucking Latin class. Yeah. That back in the day, this actually meant that someone's getting killed because it was like a throat slash thing. Oh. So this, people would think that this means live and this means die. This meant live and this meant die.

You can use that in your act, bro. You still reading, Sass? No, not really. I'm taking a little break off the books. Damn. You got to learn it too fast well i've just been doing a lot of stand-up so i haven't really been having time to read so i just go have a pass out in work you're doing spots every night i'm on the grind bro that's why i'm

losing my voice because you've been fucking talking so much it's coming back it's losing again i feel like reading is a good way to uh keep the the fountain of jokes plentiful though it is definitely depends on what you're reading yeah Yeah. What do you mean? I'm reading right now the biography of Genghis Khan. And it's only inspired me. I want to be a conqueror. You should. He fucked like Chamberlain, right? He fucked way more than Chamberlain. I'm gonna grab a water. This dude,

he was incredible. Khan was? Oh my god. It's the equivalent of an American slave taking over North and South America. He was a slave? Yeah, kind of. Yes, for like 10 years. How is it to read? Is it hard to read?

No, it's incredible. It's smooth to read? I'll pass it on to you when I'm done. I don't know if I'm ready for a whole book. No, you're ready. I do like a full book a year. You're going to love this. This will be the one?

This is the one. What, is it in short sentences? I realize I like short ass sentences. It's a very written, very stream of consciousness-y. If I see one adjective. Oh, really? It'll be like, his name was actually this.

This is this. In 25 years, he took over more than Rome did in 400. That's crazy. They must have been super easy to conquer. They must have been very conquerable peoples. The Mongolians? Or the people they were conquering. Or who did they conquer?

Everybody. But so those people must have just fucking turned over. They must have bellied up super easily. Must have. Unless he's just that fucking nice with it. He's so nice with it. How much did they describe his sexual exploits? A decent amount.

Really? In detail? He's only 30-something where I'm at in the book. When did he start fucking? He has 12 kids. Oh, really? He's like Crow Marty. But they only recorded

his sons oh really yeah do you think they killed the girls or they no they just didn't record him really so he has 12 sons yeah and dr luke refused to record the gal he did didn't he get sued for that yeah kesha sued him or was he coming dr luke he was just like i'm i he was getting in trouble for that and then he just invented core water and made like a billion dollars off that's a dr luke that's a dr luke joint well the thing that about core water is that there's the cup at the top of it yeah it's cool i do always pour it into the cup you pour it into the cup yeah i always thought that was for dogs oh maybe it is gotta get my my shih tzus ph right i like to kind of ration out my water i don't want to drink it all at once i've been i've been on a huge water kick i'm buying different brands every time yeah you won't drink

tap water i heard it's the best in new york but it's i don't care about the water yeah it comes from the purest sources it comes from the cat skills it's it's the freshest but then it goes through all those disgusting fucking pipes yeah like probably actual poop actual poop that it's going through but there's like so many nutrients in it that I think that if you just drink New York tap water, you definitely don't have to go to the dentist because there's so much fluoride. Yeah. And you probably don't have to go to any type of doctor. Like there's probably enough nutrients where you can subside on just water alone.

Just live off of New York tap water. Yeah. It's as nutrient rich as a Gatorade. There's probably electrolytes in it. There's probably fire shit in it. You drink tap water? Uh, yeah. I actually just watched a cool movie about, um, fuck it's with uh forget who's who it's with

it's about it's like this guy and like this farmer is uh like all of his cows are dying and then they find out because like the is it black water the movie yeah deep water maybe is it mark ruffalo and it's like all the poison? Is that in West Virginia? I think so. Yeah. Dude, it's from the... Teflon, right? Teflon in Jeff Gordon's car.

What was his brand? Goodyear. No. No, who's... DuPont. Oh, DuPont. And dude, it's affected every human alive's DNA now. We're permanently altered from that. That's so crazy.

Can DuPont have fucked up more? Like, isn't the guy from DuPont, like, the fox catcher who, like, killed everybody on his property? Yeah. And they also just made the most toxic shit? Like, he fucked up at every level, like, interpersonal. They affected, all of us have been touched by that, like, directly. Yeah. Didn't they

just melt like a caveman and they were like, oh, fuck, he's got it too. No, I don't know. Like, DuPont really went brazy. Yeah I just watched that movie the other day. It was really good. Ruffalo? Yeah Ruffalo rules. Yeah he does. He's a great actor. He's sweet as fuck. Does he have a lisp? A little bit. Or he has some kind of like the words come out

of his mouth a little bit funny. But I think he it's like with the porn stars that have something like slightly wrong with them. I think women love that he has like a little bit lisp and he's like kind of frumpy and like. I it's just i think it's like the faces he makes he's like distracted he has like some sort of he's yeah like he's retarded yes i mean that is like a well-kept hollywood secret but i have heard that yeah yeah yeah that he's retarded that's why he fucks so much That's why he's so desirable because he's that retarded.

Yeah. No, it's still the same thing. Like, you know, the popular girls take those guys to prom. Yeah. Every Hollywood, all the women of Hollywood

want Ruffalo. Yeah. Just to take a picture with. He's great. He's in the spotlight. Just to get the points from all the rest of the Met Gala. Yeah.

Oh my God. Did you see what Halle Berry did? She took Ruffalo. She brought Ruffalo. That is so sweet. She's definitely going to be prom queen. He rules. Yeah, he does.

Has he ever seen Spotlight? Oh, yeah. Same kind of role where he's just like this intrepid reporter who's just like, I'm going to fucking fix the world. Has he ever played a villain? Oh, no. He probably can't. Some dudes just don't have it in them.

A lot of dudes. Some guys can go back and forth. I'm trying to think who's gone back and forth. Flip-flop? Ben Foster? Like Chicken Fry? You're saying she was the villain and then she was the superhero? She went through her villain era and then she released the

bigger person merch. I've been in my villain era for fucking 15 years yeah so no no you're i'm trapped in it you're devious i've all i've always had this like internal debate with roan whether or not he's a scoundrel or a rascal i'm a route wait rouse is there a combo of them i don't know or a grouse rouse Are you guys exhausted? Yeah, I've been. I'm fine. Yeah, dude. This has been a long two weeks. Yeah. Yeah, I've been really fucking tired.

Really fucking tired. Just fucking drained. I'm pumped for this break. And then a grouse is a bird. Super excited. What's a roughed grouse? I'm going to play with my dog. Is that a type?

It's got to be a type of bird. I think it's like a Cornish game hen. Yeah, dude. When I was a kid, we cooked Cornish game hen for this other family. And they were like richer than us. Yeah. And then their son thought that the Cornish game hen was really good. So he asked if he could take home the leftovers.

And my family was so fucking pissed that this little boy took home all of our fucking Cornish game hens. This little rich boy. We couldn't afford all this fucking Cornish game heads. We were trying to see him rich. CGH doesn't grow on trees. Yeah, dude. He was just walking out with fucking Cornish game heads under his fucking... I hated going over to Richard's house growing up.

When I was in fifth grade, I went to private school for a year. Yeah. And I went over to this... You probably were fucking taking Cornish game heads from other people's houses with your unbeknownst rich ass. Your mom brown bagged your Cornish game head.

Yeah, he was taking Cornish game head for lunch. Oh with your unbeknownst brown bag your Cornish game again mom mommy mother I tire of the game hand mother yes teeth were real big for some reason we had the most sass grew up British we had one we had the most bland meals like 21 savage we ate the same thing like every night it was either chicken or cornish game my mom had a run for like three weeks in a row where we did chicken and broccoli uh cheese and broccoli casserole every fucking night oh yeah and she would try to surprise us she'd be like guess what fuck off mom did she think you liked it no she liked it that shit was devastating yes like you have zero control of what you wanted dinner no she liked it that shit was devastating yes like you have zero control what you wanted dinner to be and it would suck moms definitely do that shit on purpose and vindictively as well yes to be like i hate my family right now as i'm sure like

dads go through that shit but they're not the ones fucking cooking so dads are just whipping up or moms are just my dad would cook on occasion and it would be like a massive event in the house and like no one liked his food but was he nice with it or he wasn't no he's terrible dude my dad just made mini pancakes they were like regular pancakes but this big dot this the pan yeah and then we just like eat it with like forks made mini pancakes my dad can make two things he can make spaghetti and meatballs and he can make eggs and he would like try and serve it like this was like some like five star meal that like and he's like this world serve it like this was like some like five-star meal that like and he's like this world-class chef he'd like we'd all have to like line up

while he served us he'd be like a little bit of spaghetti and a little bit of meatballs and he'd be like and then he'd get like pissed if we didn't like it and he was like this is just a like anyone could make this it's very cold out here for dudes who never learn how to cook like you'll grow up and your children will probably resent you. Like, you have to have, like,

a decent amount of shit and, like, a lot of dudes don't have anything, much less the fucking, like, like,

Chef Donnie's kids will be fucking eating, dude. I don't know. Who else in here? How sustainable is that, though? I mean,

Large cooks a ton. Large is, like, cooking up, like, pork chops for his, like, fucking 12 million.

Yeah. Yeah. How sustainable is, how sustainable is, not even his like yeah but like large is a million yeah yeah how sustainable is how sustainable is not even like money wise like like

the clean up just like how long is he gonna have the energy to be like alright I'm gonna make this like when he made us

that chicken and curry yeah it was phenomenal but it was like that took him like two hours to do people love that dude people who like to cook

love it as like a practice when my when I go to my buddy's house in Denver he like wants to be a chef and he's who like to cook love it as like a practice when my when i go to my buddy's house in denver he like wants to be a chef and he's like obsessed with cooking and he's like he'll come home come home for work yeah gnocchi and we'll be like we got dinner should be ready by like eight and it'll be like 3 p.m and i'm like dude i'm starving and i gotta watch you make dinner for five hours yeah there has to be some sort of middle ground there has to the microwave i think that's really what that was created as the as the middle i think steak is dinner for five hours yeah there has to be some sort of middle ground there has to the microwave

i think that's really what that was created as the as the middle i think steak is the middle ground yeah steak is the fastest thing you can cook that tastes the best that's that is correct yeah and a lot of steak cooks less than 10 minutes to cook maybe 15 what about corn beef hash though but you can't cook meat in new york apartments because it'll smell like that for the next fucking three weeks and your smoke alarm's going to be going off. Or like the way that Donnie like says to do shit is like he's like pouring straight alcohol onto it and it makes the biggest fucking flame ever. Like I'll try and follow. I can't make I could not make one of those meals that Donnie makes because we don't have the counter space.

I can make one thing. Yeah. And that's what I'm like. I'll make steak. All I'm eating is steak. There's no size because there's nowhere to put the steak to like make the sides like where am i gonna put the steak like i have to like put it in my on my bed or some shit on a plate like there's we don't have space to do that the guy that lives next to me in my apartment i swear is like fucking making

smoking locks every night dude because it smells so fishy all i know about him is he's asian and he sneezes fucking constantly and eats fish every night so you think he's allergic to the shellfish oh i gotta i gotta gas you have to tell him i gotta gaslight my age you know how like casey like someone saw her her like mole on her or something like that and diagnosed it as cancer from afar you gotta diagnose him as being allergic that happens a lot like newscasters have like lumps on their necks and that's happened a lot that's why i like i always try to like expose a little bit of myself every show yeah just to see if i have you know autism or something it's autism yeah you just look dude i oh you could see it in his eyes it was bad on barstool versus america i just did this puzzle

so fast dude a jigsaw puzzle in it i was so embarrassed and he was so fired up about it dude the way he screamed it was the most animated i've ever been in my life yeah you were a fucking drone a fuck like how cliche it was funny as fuck a fucking puzzle and the picture was a bunch of trains it was tailored for you that was them just looking out for you yeah let's let's make our boy nick let's give nick one they have the football challenge for the football players, the eating challenge for the fat guys, and a fucking thousand piece puzzle with trains all over it for Nick. Yeah. Shout out to you, brother.

Shout out to fucking Nick. Yeah. Shout out to you too, Seth. I'm worried I'm going to lose my voice before this thing starts. Brother, you're fine. You're not going to lose your fucking voice. I can feel my throat starting to hurt again. It's getting itchy.

It's dry. It's not going to. You you're not gonna lose your voice i need some more tea yeah you yeah you do you think about the fucking injections or what i've been throwing back how old are you yeah how old are you 21 i had a full beard by then. Damn. I told him it's not going to happen. Not happening. Yeah, it sucks. That does suck. Whoever's next. What did you get? Same as Owen. We're stupid teammates.

KB. Did you wait? Is that mustache painted on? Barely. Didn't need to. It looks like a thick ass mustache. It looks funny. It looks like a fake mustache. Owen looks looks funny. It looks like a fake mustache.

Owen looks dope though. I already fucked mine up. Oh no. You need a little water on that, Owen. Drippy ass boy. Dude, I was watching the last one and it was like as time went on throughout the case race the bottom half of my Joker thing was just gone at the end. Because you were drooling like a fucking fool. Just the top half of my face is thing was just gone at the end because you were drooling like a fucking fool just the top half of my face is painted my mua was stressing because uh nothing

was showing up opaque enough and she was like is there anything you have on and i was like tinted moisturizer she said is that makeup and i said well it's dry x tinted moisturizer cognac but it's not technically makeup that's why it's so popular amongst us men find that technicality though like how can you even find that loophole and she was like yeah that's makeup yeah that's what all the felt the fellows i think gaz was the pioneer of wearing makeup i would always hear about gaz wearing makeup yeah yeah he did it for for different reasons i guess yeah his were his were political He wore makeup for political reasons. His political beliefs led him to wear makeup.

It's insane how many guys DM me from burner accounts asking for the link to the Stryx tinted moisturizer. Why would it matter if they came from their personal account? And it's insane when they're pissed, like when they get in, they've realized that it is legitimately makeup. They get so upset. What does it come in?

What does it look like? It's like a black cylinder, like a bottle. Like a tube? Is it designed for women? Yeah. Or is it designed for the fellas? It's a sleek men's design, but it's makeup through and through.

Yeah. That seems like something that would kill on Shark Tank. What? That feels like something that would kill on Shark Shark Tank. What? That feels like something that would like kill on Shark Tank. I think it's, yeah, I think it's,

it probably took a similar route. I don't know how they got big, but I. Just makeup for dudes? I mean. It's common. I mean, that dude wipes.

What's that? Yeah, I mean, it is, it's going to be so commonplace in 10 years. 100%. Because like,

we always make fun of women like, oh, they look only good in makeup. Like, yeah have that too our ugly ass like we can look good too with and dude but it's uh it's so expensive to be a woman it like costs so fucking much time consuming too and time it just costs so much money and so much time imagine how much like longer your mornings would be if you had to wake up and put on like a full face of makeup every day and do your hair suck like do your hair every day yeah like a fucking like showering and brushing well yeah especially like now like in college like

we were so excited to go out now we don't even get excited to go out so you're doing that for two hours going out having no fun and going home prematurely just yeah you guys are you guys are in hell yeah it's terrible for women out here expensive ass outfits always need new outfits have to get your hair done have to get your nails done putting fucking makeup on your face making absolutely no money no money no education no they're not educated they don't even they're not even informed which is one thing a lot of like I can't even catch a lot of, a lot of the guys I know they're top, they're top tier CEOs and entrepreneurs. They're high level.

They, they don't have any like, you know, like their education is subpar. Yeah. They went to like mid-major, they went to mid-major schools, no elite campuses. No. But they're informed. At least they know what's going on. Even with the women these days, they're taking all least they know what's going on even with the women these days they're taking all this time getting ready they're not even informed they're

no good degrees they'll be like what the shooting where fucking not not hearing shit about anything they just they just know how you you should feel about the shooting yeah they're like i'm irate they know the right thing to say before they know even what happened where. They'll know the fucking how irate you need to be. And you do need to be irate. You have to be irate or else you're not a real woman. That's when you have to go trans if you're not irate about a school shooting. It's time to fucking give up that pussy and strap a dick on. Yeah.

I'm ready for that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It'd be incredible. But yeah, makeup's going to happen for the fellas I'm ready for that yeah oh yeah it'd be incredible but yeah makeup's gonna happen for the fellas especially with the amount that everyone has to film themselves at all times

I mean have you guys ever had to do makeup for like a shoot or anything I went to yeah for for one of our ads we had to do makeup

for the dad chat thing oh yeah well to make us into like old people they were like stage makeup they were bad at it yeah and it was like oh you just look better you have less facial like facial flaws facial blemishes yeah i feel like

that shit uh goes day to day though i was on that a movie one time and the first day i fucking sat down and i was fine i didn't need any makeup in the second day after drinking they're like oh my god and it took 20 minutes for them to do the makeup i think it's very situational it's the booze booze makes everything worse face and i thought like getting healthy like lifting a lot counting my calories no booze is still it's the only thing that's undefeated you'll know drags your face it's like putting your fucks your face up exposing you to like nuclear reactions it's like your shit will just start drooping under your chin your eyes will bag out like your fucking shit will look saggy around your fucking mouth the neck the eyes the fucking trash dude it's absolute trash but is there like a drug that doesn't have a crazy effect weed yeah but what do you mean no a drug dude a plant. Would you say oregano has a crazy effect?

Would you have time? Say time does? What time does? Time does have a crazy effect. Yeah, dude, that's fucking time, dude. Time waits for fucking no man. Oh, and how far in are we? 32 minutes.

No, we're not. 56. Sass is bailing dude Sass you have a lot of shows coming up I do yeah and that's what he's bailing about or that's what he's complaining about yeah that would be very exciting

you probably haven't had time to be truly depressed no no I'm not it has changed his whole outlook dude I haven't complained about that at all I think that your apartment is going to change your outlook it always does for a week or two i think it's like a month yeah you'll have a full there's definitely a honeymoon phase where you're like this is the best place i've ever experienced life is a musical and like you're walking outside and then slowly you start finding out what's wrong with the apartment life was life was a musical when i first came to new york

so grand and unfamiliar and sprawling everyone's like beautiful and like unique and uh subtle different ways but then you live in a dumb ass neighborhood or like becomes local and then someone jerks off on your feet or like fucking you get like punched in the chest by a homeless guy who you've been giving a dollar to for 40 days straight the dude who fucking punched me in the chest i always give money and he but you've you've been punched by someone you've given money to do you think you remembered that you were the guy who gave him money definitely didn't that still i how do you react i i just i laughed honestly i laughed in his face which what happened well it wasn't like a full punch but like i was uh, I was like walking, like it was like a group

of people and I was like trying to get to the subway. I like try to like walk around the group and he was like coming around a group and he like pushed me in the chest and was like, don't walk up on me, man. Like he thought I was like fucking. I wouldn't be that mad. I laughed. I like. Unless it was personalized to me.

When they like talk about my negative traits, then I'm like, fuck you. Yeah. But it sounds like you just got in his way. Yeah, but he was equally in my way. But I also see him all the time. It's a reoccurring character in your life. Yeah. Nothing more than a character.

I gave him money again. He said it was his 60th birthday recently. There is this woman in a stretcher outside of Fulton Station bleeding head to toe. Like, I don't know how she acquired that much blood. Every day she's been bleeding? And there was a family

of Europeans, probably like Germans, I don't know, just with their phone out just gawking with the phone in this bleeding elderly woman's face. No way.

I hate Europeans. Yeah, they're the worst, dude. They have no, they think it's like a feature of New York. You're just saying that I hate them. I do. Filming shit like that is so strange to me. Why when there's something

horrible happens, people's first reaction is like, oh, I'm gonna film this. So what, you can go back and look at it after? I mean, the numbies don't lie. I think it's also whack when New Yorkers try to prove their tried and true New Yorkers by performatively ignoring

a hassle on the subway. People are like, it's fucking Manhattan Hitch. That's why everyone's taking pictures on the streets. You can laugh and gawk at things that are ridiculous still. People mind their own business to a fucking, to a fault. That should be one of the deadly sins.

Someone's got to just tell those people to just like shut the fuck up, dude. Well, they all just moved here from Toronto. You're talking about the subway performers. Yeah, they should be stopped. They should be able to do that. But you don't act like they're not doing anything in front of you. You can react.

It's like the people who are just stoic and stone-faced. Subway performers deserve our jobs more than we deserve our jobs. That's a treat. They're more talented and fucking work harder than we do for sure. Yeah. They actually have talents. I'm not talking about people who are like dancing and shit.

I'm talking about people who are like causing problems on the subway and everyone just like tucks their head away like nothing's happening. Yeah. Someone screaming at like a yeah 45 year old jamaican woman yeah yeah that that shouldn't be a thing i'm fine with it because i'm i never feel unsafe but did you know i noticed that uh i only feel unsafe when i'm on the platform that you might get launched i'm gonna get thrown. Yeah, you might get launched in there. I'm going to get thrown in. Your bitch ass might get launched. Fuck. We should just end right there. Yeah, that's perfect.

That's perfect. No, we can end there.