Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 12 - I'm Going To Date Your Daughter

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss hiking, going to space, moped decapitations, Rone's honeymoon in Hawaii, Sas' stand-up endeavors, the hustler mindset, getting caught with weed at the airport, blowing down at prom, brunch with Tim Dillon, Transformers, Denny's waitresses, the psychoanalysis of dreams, & much moreYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth. Pleased to meet you. I'm on a big Stones kick because I found out that Mick Jagger's son follows me on Instagram.

Really? No way. Shout out to Lucas. Lucas Jagger. Got the Luke's like Jagger. He DM'd me. Did you ever find someone that DM'd you a while ago but you can't see the DM for some reason?

It's like hidden? He could have said anything. He could have been like, yo, Mick Jagger wants to come on the pod. He really likes your style. He likes the cut of your jib. Man, that would have been awesome. But do you think that he's like, do you think that listening to his dad's

music is going to help us in the long run? Or is it just, it's nice to know that his bloodline is associated? I mean, I don't think listening to the Stones is going to help us. Alright, so why are you doing it? Help us one time.

Do one thing to help the pod. That's true. Alright, ready? Should we clap? I clapped already. Alright. What is up everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today is, what is it, episode

12? At least. It's episode 12 if you're listening to this right now. It is the Monday before it comes out. It is August 9th. The dozenth. It's the dozenth episode. The dozenth episode. Roan is back. He it is August 9th the dozenth it's the dozenth episode the dozenth episode Roan is back

he has been happily married and divorced all within the last two weeks and remarried to the same broad and remarried yeah

there's a little bit of a falling out at the honeymoon but they worked it out but that's part of the honeymoon you just have to kind of get the beef out of the way 90% of people

get divorced on the honeymoon oh yeah that's how most of it goes down you work it into the prenup there was a road that we rode on in divorced on the honeymoon. Oh, yeah. That's how most of it goes down. You work it into the prenup. There was a road that we rode on in Hawaii where the honeymoon was called the Road to Hana. And they call it Divorce Highway because people just get in fights like right away on their honeymoon. Really?

Because it's so windy and it's like a dangerous road. So I assume wives are screaming at their driving husbands. Maybe just angry husbands screaming at their bad driving wives. Does Hawaii have that long road where it's like uh the palm trees and stuff on the side and you're like not allowed to take pictures of it they don't like pictures out there yeah i think that i think that might be there and some kid told me that he like took a picture there but it was like a process he had to like photoshop some shit in like he like he like took it there but like something happened like he's in it. He removed him.

Some guy only would let him take the picture if it was under these crazy circumstances. If he wasn't in it. I saw bumper stickers while I was out there that said no geotagging because they basically are just gatekeeping beauty. They're like, you can't see this beauty. You can't have this beauty. There's too many tourists who

are absorbing this beauty. It was really nice though. It was so beautiful that I don't want anyone to ever be able to enjoy it again. I want to be the last person to ever see it all. I'm not telling anyone any of the spots where I went to. Did you see any volcanoes? I saw a bunch of volcanoes. Did you see any lava? Oh yeah, it was bubbling up with lava.

Really? You wanted to just dip your hands in it? Well, there was a bar right next to it and so you would get a shot and then they would put some lava on top and it would just be like steaming up really just like clink up the lava and just like suck it down but you have to do it the right way or it'll scald your insides and kill you people were just dying on the spot it was fucking sick bro um i was actually googling because i'm i'm going hiking this weekend and i was googling like the highest peaks in every state and there was one in hawaii that was a it was a volcano yeah we were the one hike we went on we like looked down and

there were helicopters right we were so fucking high does that make you anxious at all yeah i was terrified yeah it was like this slim ass i don't even know why though because it's like you know you're like sturdy up there like it's not like it's not like like i feel like i would be like i'm more scared going going up in a really tall building because I'm like... And it's like, this shit could just collapse or something like that, even though it's not going to, obviously. But I always have that fear in tall buildings. Even looking out the

window. I'm like, I don't like this. The glass could break. But even when I go hiking and I'm super high up, and I'm like... It gives me the willies. I'll be high up and I won't even be on a narrow path that will be a massive rock or something. And for some reason, I'm still anxious. You'll look over the be on like a narrow path that will be at like a massive rock or something. And for some reason, I'm still like anxious. You'll look over the edge just because you love life and that you don't want to die.

Yeah. Or especially not like that. Imagine it's like, imagine going on a seven hour hike and fucking like breaking your leg halfway through and they have to airlift you or someone has to, your wife has to carry you. K2 I think is like a lot of people don't make it down from that. I think only like 500. They're bitches. Yeah. They're bitches.

I think only 500 people have like around that have ever summited the peak of K2. Oh, really? Yeah. And everyone else has died? I don't know how many people have attempted to get all the way to the top, but apparently the top of K2 is like super sketchy. What do you think it says about someone who has the need to explore? Who's just like,

I need to probably have something, something crazy bad must've happened in their life at some point, right? Like they're trying to escape from it or they have a small penis. Are you saying both? Like go either way. There's their penis is like the head of a sprinkler and it just has a million holes in it.

Yeah. That's little Dickie's dick, right? He has 18 holes in the top of his dick. Something like that, yeah. The thing they use to bless you in church. There's just water spraying out in every direction of his dick. You have to make up for it by hiking the gas mountains. Yeah, that's what makes an explorer or flying

into space. Dude, that's what Chef Donnie always says. He's too young to explore the world or too old to explore the earth and too young to explore the the world or too old to explore uh the earth and too young to explore space so like i'll just skydive or some shit like that it's like what the fuck but i guess people are just going to be exploring outer space yeah i have no interest in going to space why i don't like being high up like i i don't know i i hate flying with a passion yeah and the idea of flying into space where you're like, okay, there's

actually like a 50% chance this doesn't work out. And like that. Do you believe that Jeff Bezos actually went to space? I do. Really? I just think that there's. I don't. All those operations are just too many people for there to be a lie about it. Like someone would slip up. Someone would be like, someone would get drunk and be like

actually Bezos was just on a green screen in my backyard. I have the pictures right here. No, I believe that the spaceship went into space. I don't know if I actually, Bezos was just on a green screen in my backyard. I have the pictures right here. No, I believe that the spaceship went into space. I don't know if I believe that Bezos was on it. Really? You think that he was just at home? Why would he lie? He must have just known it was so safe that he was going to do it regardless and he wasn't going to die.

There's no scenario where going to space is so safe. But he must have realized that it's doable. And he's not, I mean. Yeah, I guess. And he's divorced. He's probably going through a midlife crisis or a quarter life crisis, whatever he cryogenically agreed to, however long his life's going to be. They weren't up there for that long though, right?

I think it was only like 15 minutes. Exactly. It was like they probably got the willies just like you on the side of a mountain. They got like a little bit scared. They're like, go back, go back, go back. Too high. He little bit scared. They're like, go back, go back, go back. Too high. He was definitely scared. Did you, uh, the worst part of the hike is the

going down. What do you mean? Oh, from the high part? It was, we drove up really high and then we walked down. There it is. You're a fraud. What do you mean? You drove up the mountain? So we drove up really high.

The hike is called Awa Awa Puhi. Don't geotag it, but it's... You drive up to the top of this mountain, and then you walk all the way down, and then the walk back up is all the way up a mountain. It's three and a half miles up the mountain at the end. So you start by going down, and then you end up by going up.

Don't you feel like that kind of defeats a lot of the purpose, though, if you have to go down? Brother brother if you had been on this hike this is the most really nice grueling fucking i'm assuming that was from like your stories on instagram right yeah it was it was the most grueling hike that i've ever been on in my life we were like passing people who were dying on the side of the roads they were fucking yeah but we're a hiking podcast i know the funniest shit is when you go on like a hike and you're like you're like really getting your like we did me and my friends in mount mansfield in vermont i think i think it's the highest peak in vermont

and we uh we we did the whole entire thing like we started from the bottom it took us like 10 hours something like that and we it was like so difficult like like the most intense like cardio workout like i've ever done and we get like close to the top we're probably like a mile away from the summit if even maybe like half a mile and all of a sudden like floods of people are coming and they're all wearing like dress clothes like there's dudes wearing like button-down shirts and like old ass people with like canes, like old ladies

looking like they're going to church. And they just dusted you on the wall. We're like, what the hell is going on? They're just way better hikers than you. We're like, what is going on? They're like holding their dogs and shit.

And we found that you can just take like a chairlift up to the top. Damn. Yeah. So you just wasted all that. But it's the climb really though. The climb is what's worth it. It's the journey.

That's what I, that's what I always tell Coach Prime. It's like, it's not the end of the day. But it's the climb, really, though. The climb is what's worth it. It's the journey. That's what I always tell Coach Prime. It's not the end of the day. It's not the destination that you're going to. Don't worry about that Hall of Fame jacket that you got, Coach. It's about making it there. And you and Coach Prime are a lot alike. We are, yeah.

And yeah, so I'm going to Wyoming this week. What are you going to do out there other than hike? Hiking is the softest exercise. No. What's soft? It's walking. Yeah, but not when you do a good hike. But like

biking is more intense than that. Any type of weightlifting is more intense than that. There's no way weightlifting is harder than... Weightlifting is like... What? Weightlifting might suck. Like you might not like it.

You might not enjoy it, but it's easy. Like it's not hard. All you got to do is just lift heavy things. But there's a lot of strain involved. Like an hour. And you have to like make sure that like you don't hurt yourself. Like you can you can just turn your brain off while you're hiking. You can just set it and forget it. I feel like I've almost gotten hurt way more times hiking than I have lifting.

Rolled your ankle. Yeah. On the way down, when we were hiking in Mount Mansfield, we timed it out horribly. We didn't get to the mountain until like 2 p.m. And we're walking down pitch black. Bad pitch black.

That's where the coyotes will get you. Yeah, we were like, I was convinced for a bit. I was like, we're not making it. That's where the human traffickers will get you and they'll sell you into slavery in North Korea. Yeah, we knew it was bad because the only people that were on the peak were like setting up tents. And we were like, we still have to go down this thing. And we had no idea where we are.

We're like, dude, this is like, we're, we literally might not be making it out. We didn't get out of it until like 10. What would you have done if it got really dark? Like, would you have said it was legitimately pitch black? So they all got our flashlights on our phone out Was there a chance that you were going to just like stay Would you have stayed or was it just like you walk Until you find something

I think we got to walk until we find something I don't think we would have stayed because it was really cold It was like early spring I think maybe No it was like early winter Actually I think And um It was yeah it was really cold at the top And I don't think we would have survived like early winter actually, I think. And, um,

it was, yeah, it was really cold at the top and I don't think we would have survived. Do you think that what you were doing was a gateway? You would have died. You think it was cold as fuck. Do you think that what you're doing is a gateway drug to legitimate mountain climbing? Yeah.

I don't know. I think that you'll repel or down a mountain or anything like that. Or I don't think I have any interest. Like I watched a documentary on hiking K2 and stuff. Cause it's like, it's a, it's a bad-ass goal to anything like that? No, I don't think I have any interest. I watched a documentary on hiking K2 and stuff because it's a badass goal to be like, oh yeah, I want to hike Everest at some point in my life. But then you watch the video

and I'm like, this isn't for me. You're just walking past dead bodies. Yeah, literally. And the helicopters can't even get there to get the dead bodies. So they just stay there constantly. You know Jake who does our YouTube? Yeah. He hiked Everest at the age of 11. Oh wow. What?

Hiked? Everest though. Everest is like a fucking touristy type thing now. It is. Everyone's doing Everest. No like that's like a thing. Go to Vegas go to Everest. There's like trash on Everest now. Yeah just people like movie snacks. Like they sell popcorn like halfway to the top. Literally there's like Amazon billboards on Everest. There's like trash on Everest now. Yeah, just people, like movie snacks. Like they sell popcorn like

halfway to the top. Literally, there's like Amazon billboards on Everest. You can order Amazon to the top of Everest now. Apparently on Everest now, it's like you just show up and if you have a bunch of money, you just pay them to like, you pay a bunch of like people that live on the mountain to just walk you up.

I feel like I saw an early IMAX movie where they were laying a ladder across a crevasse on Mount Everest. And if you fell down that fucking canyon, is that what he did as an 11? It's probably easier routes. That is a big thing though. They throw the ladder across, right?

Yeah, that sounds terrifying. Why wouldn't they just use like a plank of wood or something? Why a ladder? I think because ladders maybe you can size them down. You can collapse a ladder back into itself. Maybe it's a little bit easier to carry, but maybe they just didn't fucking think of it. Maybe these guys are fucking idiots. Horrifying.

Yeah, just falling shit, because people fell to their death. Yeah, a lot of people. It happens every year. People die every year. It's hiking like K2 and Everest. And probably by bears. Probably by just fucking fucking i don't think there's bears that high up not on everest but hiking you don't think that you're just hiking and there's bears out there no that's a surefire way to get eaten by a bear thing is though i think i think hiking in like in like uh like new england might be more bear risky because there you're always until you get to the

peak you're always in the trees and like the woods but like when you get when you hike in like well at least from my experience when i hiked in colorado it's like we you get out of the woods within the first like hour and you're what you're right on a path and i you're you're on and then you can just see everything around you got it because you're like above the tree line you know the difference between a black bear and a brown bear? Like what you're supposed to do in each scenario? Because I feel like knowing the difference can save your life. No, but I do know that a brown bear will like actually fucking claw your face off.

And you just have to punch a black bear in the nose. Black bears are like little puppies. You could square up with it like a kangaroo and just fucking give it a little uppercut. And it'll just go. You could like domesticate a black bear if you want to. You could break it a little uppercut and it'll just go you could like domestic you could domesticate a black bear if you want to throw a you could break it like a horse like within an hour with a black bear you could be riding on the back of it standing up juggling like

you're in the circus they're a bear but a brown bear though will it will peel your skin off and aware of seeing the video of the guy who got his face peeled off from the black bear he lived no i didn't have him the whole entire face is off and he's talking did they have to his jaw is still moving and then they they just like apparently it was

such a clean swipe so they just like had his whole face and they like they put it you can you can't even tell that oh it's just sitting there like a sticker yeah like literally literally it just like rolled up like a scroll yeah like the declaration of independence yeah let me just unfurl my face and fucking slap it back on. I feel like that's best case scenario. There's a little bit of a scar under his eye. And aside from that, you literally can't tell that it happened to him.

Oh, you're saying you can't tell? So it's not like a burn victim where they grafted his ass onto his face and his lips don't even open. It looks completely normal. I thought it was fake. Is there a chance that it just didn't happen? Maybe he's just lying or something like that? Like the guy who wound up in a whale's mouth? No, there's a video. There's a video of him talking with no face.

Really? Yes. And it just peeled off like a scab? Yeah. There's literally no face. His jaw is moving still. Who decided to videotape him before they just taped his face back on? If it was just sitting there, why not at least introduce

face to skin? It's gross. It's a disgusting video. It's nice to know that it can just come off in one fell swoop, like lamination on a textbook. Yeah, that's preferred. Then getting it scrapped off.

I guess a scar. I could go for an extra scar. I used to have like a little scar underneath my eye. I feel like it gave me an itch. I feel like it made me look like a villain. Maybe look like a bad guy. I haven't had any crazy scars. The worst one I ever had was I was biking when I was younger and there was like a cable

going across this thing and I didn't see it. And I drove right into it. It got my neck. And there was a, I had like a gash. I'm like, I almost got decapitated basically. No way. Not really. But like I had a massive g it got my neck and there was a mat i had like a gash on like i almost got decapitated basically no way not really but like i had a massive gash on my but if they if that would have decapitated you that would have been the soft spot on your body where you would have gotten decapitated oh yeah yeah but uh you just couldn't bike fast enough if you were a better biker you would have been decapitated me like definition me. Like definition close. I flew back. My bike kept going.

It was crazy. And my mom made me like go to the town offices and stuff. She wants to get the cable removed. What was the cable? Was it a limbo? Was someone doing like a slack line? Why was there just a cable across the fucking bike path? It was right near our high school

and it was close to this like road that like connects to like the parking lot of our high school and it was close to this road that connects to the parking lot of our high school and there was a cable across because they didn't want cars driving through there. Are you sure that you didn't try to intentionally drive into it? Were you going through a tough time? No, I'm positive. I was in fifth grade, I think.

Or maybe younger. I might have been in fourth grade. Did you need 13 or so more reasons why to not drive into the cable? Because like, if that's what was going on there and this is a veiled attempt to a way to try and kill yourself, driving into a cable, tip of the cap.

If anyone's willing to go that far, just biking into a cable. That's just, if I was on like a moped or something, I would have died. So we're trying to decapitate themselves. Dude, people decapitate themselves on mopeds all the time.

Yeah. Really? Yes. It's a big problem in this country. I'm not even kidding. My boy's a firefighter and he said that one of the places that he went to... Firefighters love saying that shit. They see it all the time. I'm sure they do. Yeah, I was

just... How was work? It was alright. Ten kids decapitated on mopeds today i'm not even kidding his first day of work he had to try to resuscitate an already dead baby they can they fat all right i'm saying bro you're thinking it's a joke but you tell the stories like as they're like eating a slice of pizza mts job why would that be the firefighters in new york firefighters are the first responders. So they have to do that shit. But he'll just tell the pizza like fucking stuff in his face or tell the story just

eating a fucking bunch of food. There was a fire on our block yesterday. Shut up. Yeah. It was the second one in like two weeks. You guys are next. Probably. Holy shit. We might be. One time I went out into our one time I went out to the kitchen and Dukes our roommate just left the

burner on he left it on all night was he shit faced or just a whoopsie I think it was honestly a whoopsie I think he like was cooking he was like he was making pasta or something what was it pasta

whoopsie a whoopsie an whoopsie could go either way it? Pasta. Whoopsie. A whoopsie? An oopsie? Could go either way. It was either a whoopsie or an oopsie. No one tried to smoke inside. Imagine your apartment just blowing up like that. I know. I'm paranoid about it.

I started cleaning out the lint thing in our dryer. Because I only do laundry overnight. I never do it during the day. Yeah. Wait, why? Because you're a night owl. You're procrastinating. No, I just wake up and it's clean. Oh, you throw it on.

I wash it at nine. Before I go to bed, I throw it in the dryer. Wake up, it's dry. It's ready to go. You ever forget and you get that musty mildew smell? Yeah, you do. It's horrible. You just got to restart after that happens. Nah, you just got to wear it for three do. It's horrible. You just got to restart after that happens. Nah, you just got to wear it for three weeks. That is true.

You just got to tough it out. I mean, there were definitely times in my life where I did that. No, I've done that before. It's disgusting and poor and you hope that nobody smells you. But you do. Somehow it smells so bad

and just everyone can smell it. And you're just hoping that people's noses are turned off. Yeah. People can't help what they smell. No. Somehow it smells so bad and just everyone can smell it. And you're just hoping that people's noses are turned off. People can't help what they smell. You can look away from something. You can't smell away. No, you can't. I wish you could. You're just going to catch that shit.

But I used to light blunts on the stove and then there would be times when I'd be super fucked up, leave the stove on, almost kill everybody. That's probably what type of time Dukes was on. Probably. Very, very well could be what he was on. Are you guys keeping the same house?

Is it true that you guys are going to look for new apartments in New York City? We're still got six months left in our lease, so no time soon. But when that day comes, or would this be breaking news to your roommates? No, no. We have like four months left. We get out in January. Was that like a de-jango? We got September, October, November,

December left. You guys are skirting the issue. Are you staying in your apartment or are you about to move out to Bushwick? When our lease is up, we're going to move. Are you going to move to Bushwick? I don't know. Is that in Brooklyn? Yeah. We're going to move to Brooklyn. when our lease is up, we're going to move. Are you going to move to Bushwick? I don't know where, but is that in Brooklyn? Yeah.

Yeah. We're going to move to Brooklyn. Are you? Let's fucking go. Bro. What are you going to pierce? Nose. The veil.

I'm going to get one of my front two teeth pierced. Yo, that's going to be so fire. It's going to be so rich. Yeah. We're going to move to Brooklyn. Manhattan is just not for me. Yeah. Or any, I honestly don't think it's for anybody. I think it should be so fire. It's going to be so rich. Yeah, we're going to move to Brooklyn. Manhattan is just not for me. I honestly don't think it's for anybody. I think it should be bombed

hard. Yeah, it's bad. It's the worst place on the planet. It's bad news because you can't get fresh poke here. It's like there's no kind of fresh poke. No fresh air, but mostly no fresh poke. Also no grass. I came to the office or I didn't come to the office. On Saturday I went to the Also no grass. I came to the office

or I didn't come to the office. On Saturday, I went to the gym, which is right next to the office. And I, um, it was the weekend, so it's not a very busy area in the weekend. And I was like laughing at where we are. I'm like, this is the worst place ever. Yeah, and they're just

jamming shit onto Manhattan. It's like legitimately the worst place I've ever been. I think the guy with the spear was my breaking point. We walked by, there's just a shirtless dude walking around with a massive spear. Cops just don't, they're just standing around. Was the guy ripped?

He was like a, he was on drugs. But I can't, I mean, if he was ripped, I would be scared of him. Like if the guy was absolutely shredded, he could have definitely stuck. He looked like an after But I can't. PCP probably. If he was ripped, I would be scared of him. Like if the guy was absolutely shredded. He was a big guy. He could have definitely stuck. He looked like an after picture for Sass. He would have thrown us on that spear like pork chops.

He would have had you like kebabs. Yeah. Like four roommates all straight up. A couple of pineapples in between you guys. Spinning around. He's eating you like pigs on a spit. Scraping through the asshole. Oh, not even through the guts no through the ass asshole to skull

and that's why you got to get to Brooklyn bro yeah no one's gonna land you in Brooklyn no you we went we were in we were in Hoboken today and it's just like so much night it's just like much more like laid back and like not I just don't like the busyness of Manhattan Hoboken it's a different place yeah I know but I just don't like the busyness of Manhattan. Hoboken, it's a different place.

Yeah, I know. But I just meant like anywhere outside of Manhattan. Hoboken is, um. Jersey City. Extraordinarily white. Hoboken is super white. What can you do? Is that what you liked about it? No. We literally didn't see anyone there. We were

there for 10 minutes. And you just checked it out just to be like, are there any good Irish bars? I don't even think that I wouldn't even move to Hoboken. I just meant like, I like a more laid back area where I can walk outside and not have to get worried about getting murdered. Bro, you should move to Rockaway, bro.

Move out to Rockaway beach. You'd be by the beach. You could be fucking toes in the sand, ass in the water. Take the ferry to work. Yeah. Take the ferry to work, bro.

I mean, I'm thinking about just moving back to Massachusetts. I just take the four hour commute I don't hate it or dude move to Philly there's super commuters to Philly people who just take a greyhound three hours every day I can't believe people just sit on a fucking greyhound

or like the Chinatown bus where there's just loose chickens running around just fucking doing whatever they want people do what they have to do to get into New York I think I would like Brooklyn a lot more. I mean, I don't even know.

No, I just think I would like it more than I like Manhattan. You are going to. Yeah. I mean, ideally, the whole comedy scene,

bro, you can make some goofy ass jokes and fucking people will be like, oh, this is different. Yeah. Yeah. I did.

I did an open mic in Brooklyn. What is it called? Green Westville Comedy Club. Something like that. Where is it? Green Pointville. Eastville. Eastville an open mic in Brooklyn. What is it called? Green Westville Comedy Club. Something like that. Where is it? Green Pointville. Eastville. Eastville.

What part of Brooklyn is it in? The big part. Oh, yeah. I love it down there. The best hot dogs in that area. They have such good dogs. You get a nice, a genuine Brooklyn dog. Yeah.

It was a big, it was a nice club. Dope spot. Such a dope spot. I would love to hit that mic again. How consistent has your routine been? Have you given the same five every place you've gone? No, no, no. I've changed it up a good bit.

How much, what percentage has stayed from the first five minutes to the most recent five minutes? I'm trying to think. Well, I scratched off most of the jokes from the first five minutes are you still running the shafir joke no what was the shafir joke i we get this has to also be a home for retired jokes jokes that they didn't make we were so oh owen came with me to the to the comedy club in brooklyn and i did five minutes and yeah i bombed bad it was not good i thought it was hilarious i bombed hard and that's a

supportive friend right there yeah and and i i did a joke where i was like checking my phone checking my notes and i was like i used to think checking your notes was like for pussies but then i saw ari shafir do it and he drugged someone which is like the least pussy thing you can do and it was like whatever like it wasn't like I thought it was like a funny joke like I'm not saying I'm like condoning people drugging people I'm like also he drugs one of his

best friends who was a dude it wasn't like he was going out like it wasn't date rape okay he's not Bill Cosby yeah and and uh the host gets on after me and he's like, just to be clear, drugging someone is the most pussy thing you can do. And I was like, oh my lord.

I like didn't even register to me that it happened. I was like, I like laughed at the host and I was like, wait, what just happened? Wait, this guy's killing me right now because of my take on drugging people. And it just sucks. It's like the hosts aren't... The hosts are most of the time less funny than the actual people performing.

They are just somehow got their way into hosting. Because I feel like that's your foot in the door. You host until you feel like you're funny enough to have your own spot or being a headline. No, but it wasn't like a show. They're hosting open mics and they just get selected to to do it randomly and then they like think that they're like how can you host a show when you're not even that much funnier than like if not like there's a lot of people there that are funnier than you and then you come up on stage and you make fun of someone's jokes like dude how about i go on stage and i make fun of your jokes we'll see how that goes i feel like

that's like meat left on the bone anytime that you don't live in the moment enough to make fun of someone like the two times that i did stand up both times before me it was the same anytime that you don't live in the moment enough to make fun of someone. Like the two times that I did stand up, both times before me it was the same guy that went up and his whole five minute set was like about being a virgin. And I don't know how I didn't go up and just roast that dude for getting no pussy his entire life. Because it's like he was just bragging about it two years

apart from each other. Yeah. I did a Fuck one time for me. Yeah. I did a set at, um, I did an open mic at the Producers club in hell's kitchen and it was a good mic the second one was really good it was a lot of people there but there's this one dude there both times and he's just he he talks into the mic like this he's like you can't hear anything he's saying the mic is clipping the entire time and everyone's just like standing there like pretending to laugh because like what the fuck is going on like no one will tell him we can't hear him and then his jokes are just like

well so my wife left me or no he's like he's like so my kind of funny no no that was better he's like 50 and he's like he's like so my girlfriend comes up to me and she tells me i don't like that you complain so much i look look her in the face. I say, bitch, no one tells me how to act. And then that's the whole joke. And everyone's like, dude, like this isn't like a therapy session, but kind of for a lot of people,

I think it is. It's like how he's dealing with his three quarters life crisis. And then he gets up again the next time and he's like, I'm sitting on the subway. How is this mug? How do I got this mug and I'm single? Someone answer me that and he's like, I'm sitting on the subway. How is this mug? How do I got this mug and I'm single? Someone answer me that. It's like, dude, you got to figure some shit out

and not do this. Is he hot? Was he a hot old guy? No, dude. He's like 40. 40 year olds are hot. I think he has something wrong with him. When I went with Sass the one time, there was a guy doing that same thing just railing on his girlfriend the whole time but she was front row recording it.

Wow. She's in the audience. He was talking about other girls that he was fucking and stuff and he was like dude what is this? I always don't understand how people like there's like an intimacy to some jokes when people are just like yeah my mom's fucking crazy or something like that where they just absolutely

destroy their very close family members. It's like, are they never going to see this? Or like, you just have something turned off in your brain where you're just going to be so candid about somebody. Yeah, I guess people like the candid nature. Yeah, I'm not even trying to act like like my like, obviously, it's hard to do. And it's like cool getting up on stage. But like and I'm not in any way think that my jokes were like better than everyone else's but like it's just like wild theirs were just

worse than yours it's not like yours were better just the whole open mic thing is very depressing very depressing why do you want to do it because like the five minutes you're on stage is fun but you're there for like over an hour most times and every no one laughs

and everyone is bad. A lot of the people are like 70 years old. There was a dude that was literally 70 years old and was just heckling the entire time. I had a joke about Zoloft and he's like, you take Zoloft? Yeah, dude. I'm working

on the joke right now. In the midst of the flow. He's asking me about my side effects. He's trying to compare prescriptions. He's asking me about my side effects in the middle of the set. No, no. Yeah, I take so off. It was just the most strange burst out. How do you practice crowd work?

Have you been able to practice crowd work with the people yet? No, you can't do crowd work at these things. What I want to do, I'm going to pitch an idea to you right now. They're in the Arizona Bowl. right now. During the Arizona Bowl, Barstool owns the Arizona Bowl. We should have a

son of a boy dad live show. During halftime. During halftime, we'll be fired. Or just during most of the game. Opposite the game. And it's just us versus whoever's calling the game. It's just like, who can really draw an audience? Do people care more about football

or do they care more about us cracking some fucking... No, my real idea, though, is hosting a show of different podcasts from Barstool. And then we get to work on our crowd work in between. And we just go out and we're like, hey. And it's like a comedy tent or some shit like that.

And it's like all the podcasts are lined up. Everybody has a little hour. And then we go out. We're going and it's like, what do you do for your work? Or like, that's a funny hat or some type of shit like that. I don't know. How would we do that though with like... I mean, I don't know. Who would do that, do you think? What do you mean?

You mean podcasts outside of Barstool? No, podcasts from Barstool. Like KB and Nick would probably do it. Who else would do it though? Who wouldn't do it? Most of the other people I feel like they wouldn't do it they wouldn't want to be on

be a part of our exclusive sweet ass party show and we get a sweet name for it or something like that and we would call it something specific it would be ours it would be Son of a Boy Dad live show but like something specific our names on the marquee we do a photo

shoot we get to have like a green M&M situation a rider like that we're eating cocktail weenies behind stage you get shit faced I would definitely do it what would be on your guys rider mine would be cocktail weenies cocktail weenies if they're fucking elite

shrimp cocktail or if quiche a fucking Or if quiche. A fucking big ass quiche. An entire fucking. You probably don't like quiche. No, I don't. You will. No, I won't.

I'm just telling you, bro. Your 20s are going to be wild, bro. You're going to start to like quiche. No, I hate quiche. No, you will. I hate the texture of it. I used to hate it too, dude. I used to hate it too. Quiche Lorraine.

Start a quiche Lorraine. Then you're working your way over to the breakfast quiche. But even then, I don't really love it. Dude, you're going to learn to hate it too, dude. I used to hate it too. Quiche Lorraine. Start a Quiche Lorraine, then you're working your way over to- My mom makes a good breakfast quiche, but even then I don't really love it. Dude, you're going to learn to love it. That buttery, flaky crust. What's in it? Like ham? Yeah.

Something like that. Ham, some kind of- Eggs. Spinach. Tons of eggs. You're disgusted by that shit? Dude, get on board with quiche. I don't want like a big, juicy egg.

Like eggs are gross. I eat eggs all the time but they are gross as fuck. I have a growing number of friends who are retiring from eggs. Yeah, it's probably a good idea. It's bad for the heart. Eggs are? No, I thought they were good for the heart. I think it's like the good cholesterol is in eggs. Am I making that up? I might be making that up. That could

be junk science. I don't know. Maybe I'm making it up. I just thought they weren't good for you. I don't think you're supposed to eat like a ton of egg yolks. They're gross. They're like objectively gross. Objectively. Abjectly. Mucousy. They're mucusy. They're phlegmy. They're fucking they're not a natural consistency.

But if you want those gains. Yeah, like I like eggs, but sometimes I'm like, ooh. Sometimes I have them. I'm like, I can't eat this. What are you like, man? I don't know. Sometimes you have an egg and you're like, this is disgusting. Like, halfway through reading it, you're like, this is disgusting. Yeah.

There's a texture that it comes to where it's just like, ooh. Dude, but do you know what celestial event is going on right now? Today, the last sunset that's going to be after 8 o'clock until May 9th of right now. Today, the last sunset that's going to be after 8 o'clock until

May 9th of next year. Damn, really? So the seasonal depression is about to... Seasonal depression is coming in, but that also means it's bulking season. Trimming season is done. No more time to get lean. It's time to bulk. For the next six months, it starts today.

We're fucking shoving food into our mouths. I've been on my bulk grind. Nothing but eggs and quiches. Just quiches. You need steak when you're bulking. You see the steak I made the other day? Yeah, but I'm saying you didn't cut against the grain. Dude, that doesn't matter, but I do agree

that I should. I didn't know that you were supposed to keep it sitting there for like 10 minutes. The grain matters too. I did do that before though. I used to keep it wrapped in a tin foil for 10 minutes until I cut it open. So what happened this time? It just slipped your mind? I was like, I eventually got to the point where I was like, why the fuck am I doing this?

I'm just going to eat this thing. I'm fucking hungry now. I really don't have any regrets. It was good. I know, but just let it sit a little bit more. I'm hungry and I want to eat. We can't as a show have steak Twitter being an enemy of ours because they're the most powerful and vindictive and they are fucking, they'll find everything that's wrong. They'll get the nitty gritty.

Like if there were two pictures, not an enemy, they loved my steak. They did. Yeah. The only thing they said, they was like, Hey man,

great work. Just make sure next time you keep that thing juiced up properly. Would you slap a square of butter on it or what? Some time. What kind of spices? Great work. Just make sure next time you keep that thing juiced up properly. Would you slap a square of butter on it or what? Some thyme? What kind of spices? Salt and pepper, right? That's all you need, brother. Yeah. Let's just say I have my own little recipe. Okay. Okay. A Montreal rub or some

shit like that? Yeah. I got a little something that I work on. If I'm ever cooking steak, I'm slapping the fuck out of it. I love to slap the steak. Salt it up and then I'm fucking slapping it like I'm ever cooking steak, I'm slapping the fuck out of it. I love to slap the steak. Salt it up and then I'm fucking slapping it like I'm fucking spanking the steak. You gotta slap it. Makes you feel like a man.

Yeah. Fucking cooking up some steak. I kind of had to stop grilling in the city though because I was, again, afraid I was going to set my building on fire. Like you really have to clean the fuck out of your grill or else you're going to get a grease fire on your little balcony we removed our uh what's it called our smoke detector so we're doing first time i cooked in our kitchen i was like shocked because we don't have windows or or a fan or like a vent in our kitchen so i'm like cooking chicken

and i'm like oh my god i can't even see in here. Yeah. How do people cook inside? I don't know. It's like automatically... Do you cook every meal on the grill? No, but I just... Last summer, I was grilling a little bit more. I was grilling... Pandemic. Pandemic. Didn't want to go out, you know,

trying to cook for myself and for myself a little bit. But it literally started like a fire on my balcony that I could have perished. And it really would have been embarrassment to my neighbors to have to go knock on their door and be like, hey, we have to get out of here because I can't handle this bitch-ass George Foreman grill. I can't handle the deck-style Kingsford grill.

The Traeger got the best of me. We need to all get the fuck out because I'm too bitch-made to be able to cook these chicken breasts. Look, I'm going to keep it real with you guys. My Traeger's about to blow. This thing is... Grab your daughter, get your dog, and get the fuck out,

because this entire building, this whole block is going to be up in flames before you fucking know it. This thing is about to pop. I mean, it would have been so embarrassing. And I think that they even saw the smoke. It was like a dark, thick flume of black smoke. And I don't think they liked me for a long ass time.

I mean, you don't want that. You don't want any close calls with the fire. It's not neighborly. Burning down your block is not neighborly. Because even like getting in a, like even having a fire happen, it's like the fire's not even the worst part. The worst part is when you get trapped in there and you get some burns on you. Yeah.

And you're like throwing stuff out the window. Those are never, you don't recover from those. Oh, especially on your face. Like two face. Oh, no recover from those. Especially on your face. Like Too Faced. Harvey Dent. And that's not it. I mean, chicks do not dig it as much as they make it seem like it. Your girlfriend will act like she's going to stay with you through the burns.

And maybe for six months she will. But after that, she's going to move on to greener pastures. She's got a wandering eye. As soon as those burns hit. Your eye is completely scalded off your face and hers is wandering it's trying to find anybody else and i mean it's it's nobody's fault but uh except yours it's only your fault exactly because you could have prevented this forest fire maybe just a little fire safety faster try that clean have a little grill etiquette maybe

scrub your grill after you're done every time. Maybe make sure that the undercarriage doesn't have any loose debris or fatty fatty whatever acids that are going to be catching on fire. Do you know how to put out a grease fire? Baking powder. Baking powder. Baking soda. Fuck. Not baking powder. Never heard anyone call baking powder before. Fuck.

Baking soda. You've exposed me as a bitch. Yeah, I have. God damn it. And I'm now no longer surprised why you have black smoke ripping out of your George Foreman. It was fucking dangerous. How do you know so much about fire, Stacey? My dad's a firefighter.

Volunteer or pro? Pro. Full time? Yeah. Good for him. Yeah. I respect the hell out of a firefighter. He stormed the beaches of Normandy. Oh, he was one of those? Yeah. He's a hero. Salute to your dad.

I know. Good for him. There was a fire on the beach. There was... He went to go put out the fire. But only the American soldiers. Yeah, during World War II, a lot of people don't know they actually had like neutral, they had like neutral firefighters just putting out fires.

No one could shoot them. You guys can shoot each other all you want, but I'm going to take care of this fire. I'm going to put out these spots, put this baby out. That's what Dunkirk was all about. Just firefighters flying in with, with a bunch of dust,

the same firefighters that are, that are working in California right now. Where is that crazy fire happening right now? In Zealand or something? Everywhere. You see that video though? They're on the boat escaping and it looks like they're in fucking Nazi zombies Call of Duty.

I didn't see that but it doesn't surprise me because I think like everywhere. I mean the other day New York was literally like the entire sky was clouded because of fires that are going on in oregon yeah it's yeah in canada yeah that happens a lot though i feel like that's been a thing my like i remember my childhood we going outside and being like cloud it'd be like dusty outside we were like what's going on my mom would be like uh there's fires in canada it's like brush fire we should have listened to thurnberg

you should have been listening to Greta Thurnberg. She told us off the rip, but suddenly that we had to fly to the G4 summits in our private jets when we could have just been putting out the forest fires. Yeah. I think it's even worse in sub-Saharan Africa. It's not right. It's bad, dude. The Amazon's on

fire. Fucking Bezos is going to space and the Amazon's on fire. That's ironic. Come on, bro. Those tweets, they were like, they were like, I don't think it's a coincidence

that all the billionaires are trying to leave Earth. I don't think that's, I don't think you guys think you're as smart as you think you are. I don't think you guys are as smart as you think you are. You're going on,

they're going on planes. They just want to go to space. I don't think it's like them like trying to flee the country. They want to be the first person because that's how you get shit named after you. Like Chris Columbus. Yeah. I was looking at this page last night to touch back on our wealth subjects and those Instagram pages.

And they're just like, they're just so dumb. There's literally a page called wealth on Instagram. And it's just all like the i i live at the bank or i don't go to the clubs like all posts like that type of shit and the comments are just like this is so fucking real like oh my god this is like i needed to hear this and it's just the dumbest shit i saw one that was like it was like it was like six figures isn't a lot it's three hundred dollars a day try and figure out how to make three hundred dollars a day i'm like dude i don't think like making three hundred dollars a day. Try and figure out how to make $300 a day. I'm like, dude, I don't think like making

$300 a day isn't like an easy thing to do. Yeah, it's hard. It's not like panhandlers. They were like, they were like sell 27 things for $5 or something like that. I love when they were like, where? The only option of that is just sell drugs. Yes. If you just sell

like 10,000 things for $5,000, you'll be rich. Did you see Kanye's 10,000 things for $5,000, you'll be rich. Yeah. Did you see Kanye's like room in the Atlanta stadium? Oh, yeah. It's fire. There was a glare over the minutes on his clock and somebody had replied, he tapes over the minutes like

real hustlers only need to know the hour. That's so true, dude. If there's one thing I know about real hustlers is they are not caught up in the minutes much less the seconds i don't think people realize it's legitimately psychopaths like they're not normal people like it's not like a cool thing like no normal person tapes over the minutes on the hour well yeah he didn't it was just the glare of the picture really yeah yeah and still also none of the people that are like reping that shit, the people who are like, at 20,

you have to figure out a plan. At 40, it was like goals for under 30. It was like, become a millionaire. Buy your own house. Start your own app. It's like, dude, these aren't real. You're delusional. The people that I know that said that they would become millionaires by 30

now won't return their friend's phone calls because they're in fucking personal debt. It's like, it doesn't align like that. You can't inspirational quote yourself into success. It just doesn't work like that. You need to rob people. You need to do something dirty. You need to beg, borrow and steal. That's the ways.

I just don't understand the concept of like, sitting at home and be like, God, Jeff Bezos is so fucking sick. I need to be him. Legend. These people are sheep who don't stand for billionaires. They don't play by the rules.

He's not even really giving you pearls of wisdom. Standing for someone who's not even like, at least Warren Buffett will be like, these are the things you should do to have wealth like me. I don't even think that Bezos is being like, here are the tips to take to become like me. He's just going out to exclusive brunches and trying to

squash any image of him. People aren't even allowed to take pictures of him. Same with Wahlberg. I saw a diagram of Wahlberg's house. Does Wahlberg not take selfies at his house? Because it was a beautiful property. Mark Wahlberg? Yeah, Mark.

As opposed to... I don't know. I thought you were talking about Zuckerberg for a second. I think I mixed up the marks? Oh, yeah, Mark. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah. As opposed to... I don't know. I thought you were talking about Zuckerberg for a second. I think I mixed up the Marks. Oh, the Bergs. Yeah. Different Berg. It's a whole other Berg.

Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of them are just insane people. Yeah. $100 million mansion. This one says, if you're 20 to 30 and your main circle isn't discussing opening businesses, investing, escaping the nine to five, fitness and self-development, it's time to find a new circle. Your network is your net worth.

And it's a picture of Jordan Belfort. Of course it is. Is it actually Jordan Belfort or is it Leonardo DiCaprio? Leonardo DiCaprio. Exactly. It always is in those. But the real Jordan Belfort's on there just being like the same asshole. He is that exact. He's like on TikTok nowort is on there just being the same asshole. He is that exact same.

He's on TikTok now. Right, exactly. Being the same asshole. It's truly inspiring. I even saw... It's a red flag to some people to like Wolf of Wall Street or to like Jordan Belfort. It should be. I think Wolf of Wall Street is a good

movie. It's entertaining, but I don't think... Isn't he in like a hundred million dollars of debt or something like that? No, he made it all back being a motivational speaker. Also, isn't your favorite movie American Psycho? No. Not at all.

It was directed by a woman. Is that why you don't like it? No, I love that movie, but it's not my favorite movie. It was directed by a woman though. I think it's a good ass movie. I think there's a lot of good scenes. Yeah, I like the No, I love that movie, but it's not my favorite movie. It was directed by a woman, though. I think it's a good-ass movie. I think it's... I think there's a lot of good scenes. Yeah, I like the intro. I love the intro. It's my favorite. Probably one of my favorite intros for a movie. That must be what I'm thinking. Yeah.

What's the best soundtrack of a movie? I don't know. I'm not a huge soundtrack person. It's Hardball. It's Keanu Reeves. Yeah? You never saw that? No, I haven't. Bro, go home. A little homework for you. It's got R. Kelly. What was the book you wanted me to read?

Like, Power Thoughts or some shit? The 48 Laws of Power. Dude, when I was in Hawaii, I heard, like, three Marines who had to have been, like, 45 to 60 years old, like, discovering the 48 Laws of Power live. And they're like, it's really, it's pretty good, dude. You kind of should read it.

You definitely should read it because it's like things you don't think of that people in power actually do. And they were all taking notes with each other as they ate their fish lunch. It was fucking preposterous. Dude, another thing that happened in Hawaii, they're very litigious. They went through my

bag at the airport. They found a bunch of weed. Oh, really? The police officers found a bunch of weed. The cops found a bunch of weed. They were pissed, but they just didn't want to deal with it. Were you scared? Whenever situations go like that, I just go

full bitch mode. Yeah, I can see you working your way out of that. I did work my way out of it. I can see you doing that on purpose. Getting caught on purpose. Just for the thrill. Just to get out of it i did work my way out of it and they're like i could see you doing that on purpose getting caught on purpose just for the just to get out of it it was thrilling but i also knew as soon as it happened like i know how i'm going to get out of this because they just want the power dynamic to be like they're they're powerful so i just go like i'm so sorry sir like i had no idea that was in there it's actually medical where i come from and he let me off because he's like it's actually like medical like I can tell because it was in a like pill bottle or something

but the label of the pill bottle was hippie crippler but it's like oh this is medical like you should be good to go yeah he let me go I didn't even miss my flight did you get oh wait this was at the airport yes at the airport going through and really I didn't even miss my flight oh my god I thought you meant

I thought it was like at the hotel or some shit no but they like almost caught me smoking at the hotel they don't i thought that they would be very pro weed in hawaii yeah they were anti yeah but the guy found like like a bag and like this pill bottle and i was like oh it's medical it's like and they're like well it's legal here too but like just not at a federal checkpoint and so he let me on my way but there was more weed in my bag that they didn't even find like they didn't even dig deep enough there's like everyone has stories about like people just like bring weed now through the airports they don't ever get caught yeah there was a uh new york post article new york times article basically saying that they're not going to check out of new york anymore

so i used that as i was flying out but these tiny airports in hawaii they yeah check through a little i didn't even like know that was really a thing. Think until we went to Kansas City. We got there and you had weed. I was like, where did you get that? And you're like, oh, it was sitting for me in my hotel room when I got there. And I believed you for a while. They roll out the red carpet every time I hit the road.

And then eventually I was like, oh, you just brought that? They give me four vials of weed, two bottles of Dom Perignon and five Viagra every time. I literally thought that was like, I thought that's what happened. I was like checking in my room to see if I had any. Marriott's rewards are fucking different these days. Where's mine?

It must have misplaced mine. The Hilton Honors Club hits real different these days. They're fucking looking out for me. When we were in senior year of high school for prom, they really stepped up the security. They were checking pockets. You had to take your shoes off. They were breathalyzing us.

They checked the underside of your dick. Literally. My buddy brought his weed pen in and we were like in front of him and i was so fucking scared that he was gonna get in trouble because they were like he had it in his sock and we didn't think they were gonna make us take off our shoes and they were making us take off our shoes and then he like they were checking like the bottom of your sock and they were like let me just see your sock and he just went like this like acting like he didn't like know what they meant and then they just like let him go what the

fuck they're checking your socks for weed pens because a couple years ago at our school there was a massive like thing that happened where like 50 kids got caught doing like coke on like senior night out and like it was like it was just not good like the like our school got like sued by like the fucking boat that they were on and stuff. It was a whole thing. That's a lot of coke for 50 people worth of coke. I don't know if it was actually 50, but it was a big deal. There were enough people that they just had to crack down on

weed pens as if people were going to die from vaping weed. Yeah. People did die from vaping for a little bit. It would have been so much more fun if you could just get hammered. If you could just be on a ton of coke. Just talking your teacher's ear off. Prom sucked. Yeah, because nobody was yipped up.

I don't know how people have the confidence to go to a prom sober and be dancing with everyone in your grade. I just sat on a chair with my friends. I watched the Bruins, actually. The Bruins were in the playoffs. And you do not like sports. I was very into the Bruins actually. The Bruins were in the playoffs and I watched that. And you do not like sports. I was very into the Bruins then.

Because they were doing well? Yeah. Or just because like you did not want to be like in that awkwardness of prom? I don't know. It was a little bit of both. I have in no way have like the social skills or like confidence to be dancing at prom sober. But

if you had a little bit of this, a little bit of that. If I was drunk, I would have been doing the worm in the center of the circle. Can you do the worm? No. Would have tried, though. You've got to learn. Or at least a split. Or one of the Michael Jackson moves. Yeah, the moonwalk. Or the little kick in the

dick. Do you like flossing when you're drunk? No, I don't. You do? That's not true at all. I believe Owen. That's completely false. You're like the floss kid. You're like the original floss kid. I don't really get drunk these days.

Why? I just don't. Must not be drinking enough. No, I know. I know why. I think that's why. I think we just solved that one. If you drink more alcohol, I bet you'll get more drunk.

You know what else I've been doing a lot recently? What's that, brother? Shaving my freaking pubes. I've noticed that. Yeah, you have, haven't you? I've noticed that. I'm looking at them. You had a noticeable tuft in the front of your pants earlier, and now it's gone.

Now it's almost as if you've been shorn down to the damn near the skin why what what is helping you do that well i've been uh experimenting with the manscaped a lot recently uh i mean basically yeah are you ready for an out-of-world experience fellas look no further than the performance package 4.0 for manscaped that has just taken off and not only the USA, but Canada, the UK, across Europe, Australia, South Africa, and Singapore. I love that. The Singapore men hate to get their balls nicked by their razor. They hate that. They hate it, which is why the Manscaped launch sample has been crucial for the growth of Manscaped and the health of the Singapore.

Yes. There's no more razor bumps for the fellows. Their shafts are immaculate. Jeff Bezos wants to ride their shafts into outer space. They truly look like rocket ships out in Singapore with their freshly manscaped peen eyes. Oh yeah. I actually, I just got a new manscape the other day and I'm, let's just say the Bush situation is long downstairs.

I'm going to go home today and I'm going to remove all of it. Sprinkle it on Owen's pillow. That's nice of you. That'll keep him honest. Honestly, I thought that you had already gotten rid of the puby salad, but I guess it grows back fast. Oh, really? You just have that type of... That's masculine. But that's why you need that lawnmower

4.0. The 4.0, honestly, at one point this past year, even before Side of a Boy Dad existed, I went out and bought the 4.0. The 4.0, honestly, at one point this past year, even before Sight of a Boy Dad existed, I went out and bought the 4.0 because I wanted my penis to look good. Yeah, I did too. I'm self-conscious about how I look at my penis and my asshole in the mirror. And whenever I'm looking at my asshole in the mirror, I don't want it to be looking like a big Sasquatch. No, you don't. I want it to look like a little Sasquatchatch and that's why the lawnmower 4.0 has that 4000k led spotlight so you can see every crevice every wrinkle of your anus if you want to

shave that butthole of yours you need the lawnmower 4.0 not to mention that it also has seven seven thousand rpm motor god that's like a lawnmower oh Oh, yeah. That's like a real lawnmower. It's a jet engine. I think jets run off of 4,000. Yeah, probably less than that. You could probably take flight if you just point your lawnmower 4.0 in the right direction. And that performance package

4.0 also includes the weed whacker. It's having like a little astronaut to chop your worst weeds up and it'll get your nose hair right. It's having like a little astronaut to chop your worst weeds up and it'll get your nose hair right. It'll get your ear hair right. It'll get everything right. Basically, you can stick it in any hole that you want. You can. And it'll clean that

shit out. Any hole that you have. Your armpits, any hole. You should do like a GPA joke. Like 4.0 is an A. A plus. Oh yeah. 4.0 is an A plus. This 40 is an A plus this 4.0 is an it's like an A plus get 20%

off plus free shipping with the code sun at manscaped.com that's 20% off plus free shipping with code sun at manscaped.com for a clean trinity and beyond your space balls will thank you. And we'll know.

I liked that. Yeah, a nice little piece of wordplay. That's a good copy from the folks over at Manscaped. But we will also know if you're not using that promo code because they give us the information and the addresses of the people who do use that promo code. Luckily, we've been given permission to block everyone who doesn't use it from the stream. And we will dox the people who we know are listening, who are subscribing,

but not using it because we have that information too. We have your IP addresses. We're talking about kids' names. We're talking about your phone number, social security, bank account information. Grandparents' maiden names. All out to the public. Your pet's first names. All of that shit will be in the public if you're not using promo code son.

Maybe you got a DUI back in 2014. That's coming out. Wait, who told you about that? Wait a second. I thought that... I didn't know we were doxing us in here. Just make sure that you shave your penises and you use Manscaped, okay? Yeah.

This is the shout out section of the show. Yeah, where we we shouting out? Shout-out to the teachers. All right. Shout-out to Michael Gruen. Shout-out to Big Gru. He's been promoting the pod a lot. He wants on bad.

Late August, let's go out to L.A. L.A. and link up with Gruen, okay? Yeah. Later on this month. I'm actually going to LA in early September. So maybe we could work that out. Shut up. Yeah, you can come.

What are you doing? Nothing expensed. I want to visit one of my friends. And I also might be doing a comedy show out there. What? That sounds hilarious. But I can't speak on it too much. Okay.

Cryptic. Where is it and what's the time and date? I don't know any of that information yet. Is this, is this through, is it through that brunch? Is that through your boy Dilly? No,

no, no, definitely not. No. I don't think he would do that. How was that brunch? What, what was going on with you and your friend,

Tim Dillon? Oh, it was good. We, we have some sketch ideas that we're going to shoot. Um, I don't know when we're doing it either. I think probably maybe next week or the week after that.

Who was doing the pitching? Were you pitching and he was catching or you were, he was pitching and you were catching. Oh, the sketch ideas. I'm talking about the sketch ideas. We're talking about sketch ideas. Uh,

a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Oh, really? Yeah. Ambie, Ambie pitchers. Yeah.

I love that. He posted a picture of you. What was the caption? I don't remember. He deleted it though. Wow. On your request. No. To delete that. No, I picture of you. What was it, Captain? I don't remember. He deleted it, though. On your request? No. You delete that. No, I didn't care. It looked like shit. He said I looked like

I had something wrong with me in the picture. He said that was funnier. He said that made it funnier. Yeah, if he deprecated you. Yeah. Elevated himself. No, it was a good time. He's fucking hilarious. In person? Yeah. Really? Very funny. Funnier in person or on his podcast? I mean, good time he's fucking hilarious in person yeah really very funny funnier in person or i know on his podcast i mean i think he's just the same exact person

in in person that he is online that's fucking weird bro yeah he was very funny because a guy like me different person all i was i was i don't think i was very funny at all i think i was extremely i haven't woken up earlier than like 10 in months. And we met at 9 30 AM, which made it had to be, I was up at like eight and I was like, and you don't go to bed until seven. Yeah. I was a zombie. That's tough.

But he probably gets it. I walked home and I went to bed. What did you eat at breakfast? Eggs, bed. I had a, I had a breakfast sandwich. Yeah. It's not a great order. It was a pricey place. I know. But why had a breakfast sandwich Yeah it's not a great order It was a pricey place I know but why get the breakfast sandwich there It was good as fuck

You're gonna get a sandwich at a place like that Potatoes I feel like you can get a breakfast sandwich at like any bagel spot in New York I feel like if you're going to a fancy place Get like the chicken Florentine or some shit like that I know I'm not traditional The broccoli cup I'm the common man

I like a breakfast sandwich Sue me Good ass breakfast sandwich. Sue me. Good ass breakfast sandwich. I don't know. What kind of bun? Brioche? Bagel. And you got that at a rich place? At a fancy place? You just got a bagel? You went to a fancy place. You don't think there's brioche

buns? You wouldn't get it. You weren't there. Dylan didn't invite you, bro. Fuck. God damn it, bro it bro please i have things to pitch i have ideas too but yeah it was fun it was a good time yeah did he tell you that he was going to introduce you to any of his uh yeah he said i'll be on joe rogan within the next couple weeks any of his other hollywood elites no but he did have a story for basically every famous person really yeah yeah because he was the person that Really? Yeah. Yeah. Because he's-

Who was the person that, Whitney Cummings? Yeah. And he was like, he went to her house and he said that there was like 400 people working there. He said all of their jobs was to make sure that she doesn't drown herself in her bathtub. That's what Glennie Balls has. Glennie Balls' parents do the exact same thing. Like his parents are on 24 hour duty to make sure that he doesn't

slip into his inflatable hot tub in his backyard. That's crazy. Whitney Cummings has the same thing. It might be Glennie's parents that are helping Whitney Cummings out. I saw Glennie walking down the street today and I didn't know it was him. And then it was so strange seeing him out in the wild. Yeah, Glennie's in the wild. We should start an Instagram account, Glennie in the

wild. Yeah, we should. I want to hear more of the Hollywood stories. I don't remember any of the other ones. Yeah, because you definitely can't tell them. It's definitely some shit like that. Sorry, but it was kind of like between me and him. Yeah. Fuck, dude. I love inside fucking juice, though, bro.

My problem is I got two loose of lips, though. I'll fucking sink this shit, bro. I'll fucking tell everybody that Whitney Cummings has a harem of slaves working in her house. What? Whitney Cummings uses humans as furniture?

She uses Guatemalans to sit on? Oh, that's fucked. That's so fucked up. Makes them blow dry her every day just with their mouths. They just blow on her just to get her dry. That's what she likes. I saw

Whitney Cummings, honestly, on TikTok the other day arguing with Tim Dillon about bragging about her friendship with who's the girl from Bird Box? Sandra Bullock. That's the type of shit that she's on. It's just different levels of fish, I mean you're bragging about Tim Dillon

she's bragging about you know it's just big fish MGK's 10 things he can't live without one of them was a journal he got from Sandra Bullock incredible flex was it her journal that she had already written in?

Or was he writing in it? Was it just a blank book that she gave him? Honestly, it might be the new Bible. Just follow whatever Bullock follows. Why was MGK getting shit on today? I don't know. I think the funniest thing that I've seen in a while on the internet

was MGK saying that he makes music for kids who aren't cool and don't know i i think the funniest thing that i've seen in a while on the internet was like mgk saying that he makes music for he makes music for uh kids who like aren't cool and don't fit in and someone was like you're someone quotes me and like you're like you're actively having sex with megan faul you've been a famous like rapper for a decade you're like in no way are you a cool person who doesn't not cool person like tall skinny have tattoos and bang famous women and are a millionaire many times over. Have been successful in every genre that you've tried.

Even are successful as an actor. He makes music for people who jerk off to his girlfriend. Yeah. Didn't he date... Did he date Eminem's daughter for a while? Or was that just like a...

Is that just like a diss? I think he maybe just threatened to date Eminem's daughter. It's a pretty good threat. But yeah, it wasn't. What other? It's an incredible threat. I'm going to date your daughter.

Oh, I'm going to date her so hard. I'm going to date her so good. I'll wine and dine her. Yeah. I'm going to take her out for a nice dinner. Let the steak sit for 10 minutes. You'll be pissed. Cut with the grain.

Wine, romance. I'm going to propose to her, candlelit dinner, etc. I will ask you for her hand in marriage beforehand respectfully. Piss your dumb ass off, old man. Your beard is weird. Such a good diss track. Gonna make

sweet missionary love to your daughter. Then make her come afterwards, manually. Not with my penis of course manually so good no way with M. Fox the first one is incredible

I read a article about Shia LaBeouf's acting in that movie and he was like most people like they'll act like they're method actors to like whenever they're like running away from something or have to have a scene that invokes a lot of terror and he's like I just pretend that I'm scared of shit

I was like damn bro that's fucking genius. You know there's some scene in Fury you know he's in Fury Which one's Fury? The drummer movie? No the war movie. Not quite my tempo? No. The war movie Fury I think Brad Pitt's in it too Oh 1917? No. And there's a not quite my tempo the war movie oh 1917 no and there's a scene where he has like a

massive like slash on his like face and apparently they were like they were like gonna do it with makeup and he just like did it himself he just like cut his face open that's it because he's method yeah they were like you know we're like we'll just look just as real if we just do it with makeup right that's so fucking nuts he's nuts he was like one of my goats growing

up but now i read articles about him where he's like abusive now isn't he and i think that he's like who is he talking to it was like fucking zendaya or something like that or uh the lady from we started rapping yes that was weird and it was just someone else's rap that he was rapping. But who is the lady from Twilight? Kate was fucking... She was fucking J. Pattinson or something like that. But he was basically saying, I don't know how to live unless I'm acting.

I don't even know how to act in the real world. The only time that I'm really being myself is when I'm in that world, in that character acting. Christian Stewart. Christian Stewart. And he was just... He just had his dick so far down his own throat that I was like, were your ribs removed?

The Just Do It video too was a big turning point for him. I even thought that that might have been like, was that supposed to be funny? Was he cracking jokes? No. That was like mental break. But even Stevens was he cracking jokes that was that was like mental break he had a mental but even stevens was so funny yeah that's my favorite show is it ever yeah beans beans is a goat yeah i don't know i mean i i think he just lost his mind yeah and it probably happens the best of us exactly you want to spend too much time on disney or nickelodeon you're gonna your mind. It's a death sentence. I think parents who hate their kids

sign them up to audition for a Nickelodeon or a Disney Channel show. Rob Lowe talked about how the child fame stuff, and he said it's just like, he said he was like 14 and they were just banging lines of Coke in the dressing rooms. Yeah, Drew Barrymore was like five years old. The producers would

bring them cocaine. Yeah. Did you guys see the biopic on Shia LaBeouf? Like a grilled cheese and coke. Like the kids menu coke. He said you could buy coke at the set. They were making the kids pay?

Yeah, it's not even like a vending machine. They couldn't even just get the free coke. It's nuts. Yeah, that doesn't sound good. I would never be a child star. No, neither would I. You are.

No, I'm 20 years old. You gave that shit up a long time ago. I say child star is like 13. You have the word Lil in your name. That doesn't mean I'm a child. You're grown. I'm 20. Lil or young doesn't mean anything these days.. You're grown. I'm 20. Little or young doesn't mean anything these days. No.

Old people are little young. Think of Steve Young. That guy's like 50. Yeah. There ain't nothing young about Steve Young. Nothing young about him at all. Yeah, I don't know. Being a child star is not a good idea. Yeah, signing your kid up for doing that, you gotta be, I think it's gotta be like something

like they want. Like obviously they want something like that want something yes it's a psychological deficiency in themselves yeah or it's like oh but well this is my chance to get my kid even just like so if you coach your kid hard you're kind of an asshole yeah yeah i'm never if i have kids i'm never doing that shit the only way to show your kids you love them is neglecting them like if you're doing if you're in your kid's life, like it's something wrong with you. Yeah. Sports should be fun. It shouldn't be like traumatizing. Yeah. Like

these people are just being in their kids with baseballs trying to get them. I get like the hard way they want their kids to work hard and stuff. But it's like if your kid likes the sports, you will work, they will or they will work hard. Exactly. No one who's ever coached their kid hard has ever wound up putting a kid in the major leagues.

It doesn't happen. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods, yeah. But he probably likes golf. He probably liked golf enough to the point. If you were to force your child to play sports. And the only things that got Tiger Woods good at golf is when his dad was in the trailer next to the golf course having sex with random ladies. It was like,

thank God dad's away. It was the neglect that was helping him. Now I can focus a little bit without my old man. Hey, dad, go fuck a little bit so I can play a little bit of golf, okay? Here's some hoes. Here's some girls' phone numbers. Here's some waitresses, dad. Why don't you try and fuck those

ladies so I can work on my short game? Who was Tiger Woods fucking? Like the Denny's waitresses or some shit? Yeah, like any chain restaurant. He just loved a chain restaurant waitress. He's a common man. Don't we all love them? Salute, brother. Who among us

hasn't fucked every Denny's waitress? Who among us isn't just at Chili's? I walk in Denny's and I say, this is fair game. All these girls are fair game. And here we go. Alright, let the games begin Chili's. I walk in Denny's and I say, this is fair game. All these girls are fair game. And here we go. All right. Let the games begin, fellas.

He walked in with like five other golfers. All right, boys. We all sit at different tables. Dibs on Melinda. They definitely were. That was crazy when he got, when he crashed his car the second time. I was about to say, which time? And they, and he was in

florida he was in jupiter florida and they were like where are we they were like they asked him questions like where are you right now and he was like i'm in la i was like holy shit he must have been fucked up to not even know where you are is there footage of that no that was where the famous mugshot was from though where he looks like really bad. They like fixed his hair in Photoshop for the mugshot because they like felt bad for him. Because he looked that bad? Jesus Christ. His hair was like, he has like curly hair and it was like all

like up and they like cut it off on Photoshop. They gave him a flat top. He looked like kid in play. But I think it's not that crazy to not know what city you're in. I think that someone like him who's just like traveling around all the time. You're just going from hotel room to hotel room. I mean, he was

out of, he wasn't playing golf for a while. I can't imagine he travels too much anymore. I think if you're rich, you travel all the time, no matter what. For no reason. I think that you're just like traveling because you can. It's weird. Do super rich people stay in hotels? Are they like, where does Britney Spears stay? No, they like rent houses. You think she rents a house? Where does Britney Spears stay? They rent houses.

You think she rents a house? You think Spears rents a house? Also, have you been seeing her Instagram presence recently? Of her posting herself naked? She's just holding her breasts in her hands. Yeah, I don't know why. I think the... I don't know.

But there are women in the comments just gassing her up like, yes, that's hot. Yeah. No, I get it. I don't. But it's like, is there a reason she's doing it or just because like I have nothing wrong with it. But is it like, is she posting it because maybe it's just to like own her own sexuality?

Maybe. Yeah. I think it's like a people think everything that she does is like a cry for help. Like, oh, there's like something's off here. Yeah. Like every one of her comments is like something's going on I fully support her but what the fuck is going on here yeah

she might be crazy oh she definitely is crazy I don't think that means that she deserves the conservatorship but yeah she's definitely I mean she had that whole thing where she was legitimately being like I'm faster than Usain Bolt she was like I have planet fitness and she was like I just ran I just ran a faster 100 mile dash than Usain Bolt. She was like, I have planet fitness. And she was like, I just ran a faster 100 mile dash

than Usain Bolt. Jesus Christ. Tip of the cap for her on that 100 mile dash though. Like she's probably fine. And it doesn't surprise me either. She's built to tumble. She's always doing fucking cartwheels. Yeah, I mean she's probably just like if you are living like that for so long, I mean

you probably just go crazy. Does she have the right, if she's given her own complete facilities and she decides that she's just going to post ass naked, like her vagina will be on Instagram every single day. Well, I don't think you would be. I don't think she'd be able to do that. But she'd probably get kicked off of Instagram and maybe like lose her Instagram privileges or something like that. Like, do you think that like she has the right to be able to do that, right?

Yeah. Even if she's going to like fuck herself over and like spoil all the money? I don't know why I said yeah, no. No way. So she doesn't have the right to do that? No, I don't think she gets to choose what she posts online. But I'm saying like if she had autonomy, do you think she should have the right to just like even if she's going to tank

her brand if she's going to lose all of her money I don't give a fuck why would I care that's what I'm asking I mean it seems like people are just like oh she's going to go off the fucking deep end she'll lose everything but who cares exactly like it's not even hers at least she would have something to lose yeah no I don't think that matters at all exactly

let her open to only fans yeah who gives a fuck let her do her cartwheels let her fucking run let her race bolt yeah I don't think that matters at all. Exactly. Let her open to OnlyFans. Yeah. Who gives a fuck? Let her do her cartwheels. Let her fucking run. Let her race Bolt. Yeah. Why not? Yeah.

Why not Spears? Why not us? Yeah. Why not Spears? Can we have Spears on the pod? Whoa. Damn it. Why not, dude?

Has she ever been on a podcast? She doesn't even know what a podcast is. Text Gruen. Yeah, true. Gruen could definitely help us out. Gruen podcast is Text Gruen Yeah true Gruen can definitely help us out Gruen's listening I was actually at dinner with Brittany last night Good girl

Doesn't quite understand crypto though You have to hold her hand through blockchains Yeah Get with it Brittany We have big investments to make Her net worth could be insane If she just got in at the right point. If she just bought Cardano when she was supposed

to. She's all tied up in Ethereum. That would be awesome if Brittany like as soon as she gets released she just starts going full like scumbag and like releasing her own like cryptocurrencies and shit. It'd be incredible. Yeah. People would buy it. I'm full. I'm all in on Brittany coin. I would buy

all of Brittany coin. Everyone's just losing millions of dollars. Yeah. There's no liquidity buy it. I'm full. I'm all in on Britney coin. I would buy all of Britney coin losing millions of dollars. Yeah. There's no liquidity to it. So people can put their money in, but they can't take their money out. Yeah. She rides off into the sunset. Maybe she's just such a ruthless business woman that they can't give her the keys to her own kingdom. Maybe she's like really crazy. Like maybe she's like murdered dozens

of people. I would, I mean, I would. Conspiracy time. Welcome to the Conspiracy Hour with Sass and Rome. Britney Spears, has she been capping people? Is American Psycho truly about Britney Spears' rampage?

The whole school shooting is that you didn't know Britney Spears was behind. Whoops, she did it again. Britney Spears is just out there I mean let's trace back Columbine to Britney Spears did she have a buzz cut then oops I did it again

that was like why was that like worldwide news what when she shaved her head because people were just like that like i have that memory like engraved into my head like just as much as i have like the boston bombings i think it was the height of like sitting around the tv as a family being like this is so bad pray for britney yeah what is happening i remember uh the president got on the news and was like we have nothing to fear but fear itself yeah make sure

that this doesn't happen to you vigilance like it was i remember them seeing videos of her like walking around her house like bald we'll get through this as a country together and i remember thinking it was like a crazy like something terrible has happened they're crying yeah what is that okay it's gonna be okay it's like when a kid sees their parent without a beard for the first time. It's like, who is that? I saw the lady from the toxic video, is it? You know who was loving it though? Aguilera.

Aguilera was so happy. That fucking Britney Spears. Nobody loves to see a fall from grace. I bet all of those women thought they were stepping up one rung. Jessica Simpson fired up. Kelly Clarkson fired up. They all had to be excited when Britney Spears was going through it. Fantasia. I don't pray

on other women's downfall like that, though. I support women. Of course not. Even if these women aren't supporting other women, I'm supporting other women. Of course. Except for I had a run where I was... I didn't love Kesha, but... I've gotten through that. Reasonable. I'm big enough to admit it.

I was just more into Katy Perry at the time. Kesha stans aren't going to like that one. Yeah. Sorry, ladies. Big Cat had a pretty big run in with the J-Lo fans. I don't know if you were aware about that. I know. J-Lo is a precursor to Spears, though.

J-Lo's in that Mariah Carey class. She's a notch beforehand. Spears, though. J-Lo's in that Mariah Carey class. She's a notch beforehand. Spears was just chasing low. She was. Wow, what were the fans saying? Big Cat, of course, friend of the program. He's been on this podcast before. Big friend of the program. We're actually looking to get him full time at Barstool.

Go listen to his podcast, The Yak. It's pretty good. Go check it out. He's doing some things over there. They're doing pretty decent numbers. He used to be on KFC radio. They fired him. They got rid of him on that, but he's on the act now.

They moved on to Asa Akira from him who's also not with them anymore. Now he's on the act and he's doing good stuff over there. Shout out to that guy. Big shout out to that guy. Sorry for anything he's going through with all the J-Lo fans.

I'm sorry, bro. I don't want to get in. I'm sure he'll bounce back. I want to stay neutral on this one because I have no animus towards J-Lo, but I'm rooting for Big Cat. Friend to friend, man to man. Yeah?

Yeah. Should we get the fuck out of here? How long have we been going? We're good. Or should we keep going? Because if we keep going, I'll pee real quick. I have to pee too.

Why don't you boys go pee and we'll put a fucking, we'll rev it up for this last part of it. This last part's going to be the fucking wackiest shit yet. Can you clap your balls? Your balls? Oh, I'm going to piss my back.

Did you hear that? Alright guys, what's up? Welcome back to the Son of a Boy piss back. Did you hear that? Alright, guys. What's up? Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad After Show, After Dark. I'm here with my co-host, Roan. Yes, this is where it gets a little naughty. Naughty. So I was just

in the bathroom peeing, and about halfway through my piss, I realized I was in the ladies' room. Whoopsies. No, I'm joking. That didn't happen, but I thought it would be funny. I came up with that. That is a good premise. I could see that happening. Have you ever done it? No, but I could see it happening. At work

or anywhere? Anywhere. Did you ever used to go in the women's room when you were a little boy with your mom? Yeah. I used to be like, mom, why can't we just go in the boys room together? And then I was like, oh, it makes sense now. Mom, this shit's gay. Well, make me like hold her purse. The hell is going on, mom?

Wow, you shit. Do you know what you're doing for my brand? You're killing me, mommy. What if all the other kids saw, mommy? Because you're definitely at mommy stage still when you're... No, I think I went to the bathroom with my mom until I was in like seventh grade. Like you were in the stall sitting there? Yeah.

Or she was in the stall with you? No, I would just wait outside. Like are you saying when she had to go to the bathroom or when you would talk to them, you like gassed them up? Did you do it one last time with her before you moved to college? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, mom, let's go to the bathroom together.

You just cried? You did your secret handshake on the toilet. Have you seen that video of the kid giving his mom a secret handshake going off to college and they like can't get through it. They're like crying as they like dap each other up. Have you ever seen the Good Neighbor sketch where the kid's going to

college, where Kyle Mooney's going to college? I don't think I have. It's so fucking funny. Dude, don't tell me about it. I'll watch it. It's really good. As long as you read 48 Laws of Power, I will watch this shit. Their sketches were so good. Beck Bennett is such a good actor. He's just like

he's like son. When he keeps walking away he's walking down the, out the yard with his bag and he's like, hey son I think, I think, he's like I know you're only 18 but you're a man in my eyes. I think when you get back, I'd like to have a beer together. And he's like, yeah, dad, I would like that.

He's like, how about right now? Dad, I'm going to go. I'm going to college right now. Hey, son. It's so funny. Did you cry when you when your parents left you off at college? No, I think I was in an extremely depressed state when I went to college in the beginning and I was just numb to everything. Not depressed enough to cry?

No. If you were depressed enough, you would have been crying. Yeah, college, beginning of college was weird. Yeah? Very weird. Why? Your roommate jerked off in front of you? No. I only say that because it's after dark right now.

Yeah. No, the first week I was at college I don't think I my roommate wasn't there I was there for like some week early thing there was an option to do and I did that a lot of people did that but he didn't and so I was just alone a lot and at one point I thought my room was haunted

damn what was happening like people were changing the channel on your TV no nothing happened I think it's just like a weird, it's weird just like being in any new place that you haven't slept before. Yeah. I don't really have the fear of haunting.

I feel like that's kind of a feminine trait. I had a bad nightmare last night where I was like, there was ghosts and I was terrified. I woke up terrified. No way. Yeah, it was like a night terror. How are the ghosts manifesting themselves?

Like, what do they look like? Was it just like you're was like a night terror how are the uh ghosts manifesting themselves like what do they look like was it just like you're under like uh they all look like the yak team like they're translucent the yak team or were they like uh no like they had a sheet over them i don't even remember the dream i think it was like i was watching some scary movie that like no one watches because it's too scary and then like the ghosts like became real oh that during the dream you were watching something you were just like watching the scariest shit and then i woke myself up i'm pretty good at waking myself up during like nightmares i gotta get out of this yeah i don't have nightmares a lot so it's always a it's always an event when it happens dude i rarely have them as well yeah i had one recently though where it was like a raccoon like a lilo and stitch type character where I like looked at it and then it just like zoom jumped at my neck.

Most of my nightmares involve plane crashes. Almost all of them actually. And I have those almost like every night. Really? Is it about your stand up? It's probably about your stand up. No, but apparently it means something or like your life is spiraling out of control. Can you look up what that

means? What do plane crash dreams mean? Because I feel like, I don't know how, but dreams mean almost the same thing for everybody. Okay, that's what they say. But also I think I just have like an intense fear of flying. I think that's what it is. Dreams of plane crashes can represent insecurities about your own career.

It's not what it is though. Oh, it seems like it. My basically every time is that we're taking off and then the plane engines shut down or we're in the middle of the takeoff and we just fall back. Kind of like how your career is taking off right now and if the plane engines of your career

shut down you'd have to fall back into a life of college. Very similar but that's not what it is. And then I'm also really afraid of sharks so the worst one i ever had was look it up the plane crashed and then we landed and then there were sharks everywhere damn double whammy so it's like your career didn't work out but you found another good career but then in this other good career what was happening owen what was the uh shark dreams ask us to remember the crushing

limitlessness of our own abilities. Can't you just be like, oh, I'm afraid of sharks? You're not that afraid of sharks. You're not that afraid of sharks. Those videos where it's like someone surfing on a GoPro and then all of a sudden there's just a massive great white next to them.

I send them to other people and i'm like can you watch this and let me know if there's a shark in it because i know because i always know it's coming i know it's coming and then why do you ask and then they send it to me and they're like yeah there is honestly you have honest friends because if someone did that to me i'd be like no don't worry about it no shark you would watch it and then you get the willies what suddenly what did the tweet you tweeted when you were in Hawaii that you told someone in the hot tub that they looked like Jerry Sandusky.

Why did you actually do that? No, it was literally a joke and some people were just crushing me being like, this is extremely scumbag behavior. You would do that. A hundred percent you would do that. Just to be like, hey buddy, you look like Jerry Sandusky. I could see you being alone in a hot tub and just saying that to some random dude.

And just like, I don't care if I get punched in the face. I like, I have empathy for other human beings. I'm not like... Debatable. You think that I'm a sociopath? No, I don't think you're a sociopath. I think you like to get a rise out of people. But not like that, though.

I don't want to just hurt someone's feelings and just be sitting there one-on-one while they're hurt. Yeah, I guess that's true. But everyone was like, yeah, this is fucking very scumbag. I was like, what? Four Seasons is scumbag, baby? What are you even talking about? You've obviously never been to a Four Seasons. And then someone else was like, no, your actions and then your attempt at a flex.

It's like, buddy, that's not an attempt at a flex. It's a flex. Okay? I'm not fucking trying to flex. It was the Four Seasons hot tub downstairs. It's like, buddy, that's not an attempt at a flex. It's a flex. Okay? I'm not fucking trying to flex. It was the Four Seasons hot tub downstairs and it was lovely. Is that where you were? The Four Seasons? Yeah. Nice. Is that on the

barstool card? Nah, brother. That's out of the pocket. And I am significantly poorer at the rest of the I got the bill and I was shocked. I started arguing with them. I didn't order these rooms. I started arguing with them. No way. I didn't order these rooms. This can't be right.

This isn't right. Someone needs to do something about this because I'm not paying. How can lasagna be this expensive? $75 for lasagna? Listen to me when I'm telling you I'm not paying this. I've seen people flip out like that. Yeah.

My dad's flipped out like that. Really? Yeah. That's where I've, that's where I see my dad at his craziest points is when we're at a hotel checking in. He's like, I'm a firefighter.

No, he's not actually a firefighter. I know that. I've seen, I saw a battle rapper do it one time. Like we were in, uh, it's battle rapping.

The, it was way more bitch made hotel motel holiday inn yeah he kicked his suitcase he was like so pissed like flipped his because he was uh he was a canadian dude yeah and they had made someone had made overseas calls while he was in england or some shit like that or like they were making calls and it was like 300 in four like 300 pounds of phone charges being charged to his room and he was just flipping out he threw his hat he kicked his suitcase in the lobby he was having a a full-on tantrum yeah and the whole time i was like if i ever battle wrapped this yeah i think the the most anger you ever see people that is like

I think the most anger you ever see people at is like checking into hotels or like airports or like on customer service, like with an airline. Because airline customer service, they are relentless. They are ruthless. But what do you mean? Bad? Like they don't give you the service that you want? Oh, no. Never.

You never call an airline and get what you're looking for. Unless it was over the pandemic, then like you almost always got like a full refund which was awesome but since then like it's but also like arguing or just giving some poor lady at the desk like a ton of attitude where it's like she cannot do anything like you can't that's what I don't understand it's like how do you not understand it's like they have one job and it's to not give you your money back

that's what they are being paid to do and you yelling at them is not like they're the more you, the more they're not going to... Melinda from American Airlines is incompetent and idiot and bad at her job. Tell her that if you see her. People are just ruthlessly assholes.

Yeah. Yeah. Anybody with a little bit of a blue checkmark? I got pissed off at Live Nation the other day, though. I was fucking trying to buy some John Mayer tickets and I fucking stood in the line Nation the other day, though. I was fucking trying to buy some John Mayer tickets and I fucking stood in the line for fucking a long ass time. They put me in like a different queue. I had the pre-sale and they still fucked me.

I was about to go on a rampage. Yeah, that's annoying. What am I going to ask him for tickets personally? You could. I should. You definitely could. I think that's a little bit, you know, that's a little bit overextending. That's a little... little yeah you might be reaching out a little too much a little bit of a reach asking people i wouldn't ever ask someone for tickets to their show for free period

yeah just buy the tickets buy be supportive oh you're telling them don't tell that story don't say it don't say that what the fat tuesday thing? But that was because the tickets were sold out. If the tickets aren't sold out, then I'm going to buy the tickets. You know what I mean? But that's even harder for them then. If the tickets weren't sold out and

Shane Gillis was there and I really wanted to see Shane Gillis and Owen was going and so were a couple other people from the office and I was like, I want to go. So I asked Stav and I got him well sort of I don't know I snuck in

and then he texted me or he DM'd me after and said that he put my name on the thing you might want to pick up those names you just dropped brother they're all over the place brother I think he just thought i was a random fan he didn't he wasn't doing it because like because i was me no i think that i mean i saw him after and i was like what's up man and he just was like hey and just walked by there's no shame in doing it but i just never would i dm'd the stand first and asked if there was any extra

tickets that i could buy actually i tried to do that at a restaurant in Hawaii. And Shane Gillis was fucking hilarious. He's goaded. So I was pumped that I went. I had no regrets. He's totally a goat. And Mark Norman was there too. Shut up. The very same Mark Norman of the shows that he's on? Yeah.

Yes, that one. Unbelievable. Yeah, he was funny. Tip of the cap, I love comedians. Yeah. I just love that they're just up there fucking telling jokes. Speaking of which, we had Florentine on the act the other day. You weren't here. Jimmy? Yeah, funny guy. Fettuccine. Dude loves talking about pussy.

The entire time. Really? I think everything he thinks about or does revolves around when he's gonna fuck the next time. Good for him. He said Sass will never have a girlfriend. He will never get married. He will never have kids. But when he's in Des Moines, Iowa at a holiday inn, he will

fuck nines instead of fives. Iowa nines? He was like very, very like... Oh, if you go down the stand-up list. I thought he meant just like he was just calling you out. You're never going to fuck except for an Iowa. No, he was basically saying that.

No, you'll get you'll get married in like an oversized Uniqlo long sleeve T-shirt. These are both Uniqlo. Yeah. Oversized. Actually, bro, I need to re-up for the fall. I'm about to go fall shopping. Yeah. Uniqlo's where it's at.

We should shop till we drop. We got to get a Uniqlo sponsorship. Should we go right now? Yeah. Let's go after this.'m about to go fall shopping. Yeah, Uniqlo's where it's at. We should shop till we drop, bro. We gotta get a Uniqlo sponsorship. Should we go right now? Yeah, let's go after this. Let's just go right now. Let's bring the cameras. And the pod and the mics. Shop at the live pod in Uniqlo. Uniqlo's nice.

Dude, Roger Federer. Something is going on there that they're not telling us about. Yeah. Like the basement. Like half the store's in a basement and there's like no service. Yeah. What's in the like half the store is in a basement and there's like no service. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. What's in the floor below this? Yeah. Where are the logos?

And they're definitely on some Wayfair shit. It's like the pizza gate. Remember when Wayfair, they said that they had kids in their cabinets. They said like at the shipping facilities. I drove past the Wayfair shipping facility

in Jersey yesterday and there were little kids like streaming out like it was the Underground Railroad. They're just all like sprinting. I was like, was the Underground Railroad. They were just all sprinting. I was like, get in the car, get in the car. Have you ever seen the video of Alex Jones supposedly stopping

the kidnapping? Have you seen it? I don't think so. You haven't? I don't think so. It has to be fake. No, I bet that he stopped the kidnapping. There's a group of kids. There's a bunch of kids in the back of this minivan and this dude's driving them and he's like standing in front of the minivan he's like let those kids out now it's like a

school bus yeah and he's and everyone's like oh my god like alex jones is a hero he just like stopped some kids from going to first period one day he's a hero. I believe him, bro. I believe that he saved the kids. Yeah. Sometimes you hear some crazy shit and it turns out to be true. Like, uh, aliens and shit. Uh,

that shit's real. Close encounters of the fifth kind, bro. That's real. That shit's real, bro. That's real. All right. Uh, let's get the fuck out of here.

All right. Thanks, guys. Thanks for listening and for watching this on YouTube. Shout out to the boy, Mick Abel. Shout out to Mick Abel. Nick Abel? Mick.

Mick Abel? Am I? Is this like a... Is this like a... Shout out segment. Who's Mick Abel? He's a baseball player. Oh.

Oh, the one who hates Barstool? No, he's a fan of Son of a Boy Dad. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. Shout out to him. Shout out to Mick Abel. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Shout out to him. Shout out to Mick Abel. Okay. Yeah, shout out to Mick Abel. Okay. Whoever that is. And thanks for listening. If you're watching on YouTube, make sure you give this a thumbs up. If you're listening to this on Apple Podcasts, make sure you give it a thumbs up. Shout out to all the Firefighters first responders. Shout out to all the first responders.

And unfollow us on TikTok. Why? No, don't unfollow us on TikTok. Follow us on TikTok. Just kidding, don't. I don't want to promote TikTok. No, no, no. You have to. You have to. It's just part of it. Do you see me just catch that bug? Yeah, and then you let it go.

That's fucking... So good job. So good work uh that's kind all right i'm not a murderer out here um quick enough to be one though all right guys thanks peace