Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 13 - Dirty Dishes

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss NYC, Cuomo joining the pirate ship, vaccines, numbies, Transformers, Rone's suspension from twitter, Sas' food delivery from hell, SpongeBob, & their upcoming trips to Wyoming & Buffalo -- Bonus episode dropping later this week!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Because you're mine. I walk the line. I keep cholesterol in this heart of mine. Because you're mine. I'm just low energy. I know, I could tell, but I'm matching your energy.

I'm a chameleon. I'm down low. Are you? You sleep deprived or do you get bad news? No, I'm a little bit of everything. I didn't sleep well, though. I woke up at like 5 a.m. and then I fell back to sleep at like 9. Melatonin problems? No, just...

Your pineal gland is working overload yeah i guess so the fucking pineal gland i heard the pineal gland works uh is is working in overload when you're 20 years old and then by the time you're 70 your pineal gland just kind of checks out yeah i think that that's where all the melatonin is coming from your pineal gland that might be possible it definitely is your pineal glands i've been going through withdrawals of what at the bank oh yeah yes sir yes sir every time i'm in there it's another withdrawal yeah i need to get drugs for my flight tomorrow but the doctor is being so fucking annoying about it why they're like well it takes 48 hours to fill a prescription and i was like since when is it to avoid um drug seeking behavior

or something or i guess what are you in the market for something like uh what does it end in it's called adivan adivan lorazepam is lorazepam is like uh what they gave me for flying and i went in with drug seeking behavior trying to get some xanax yeah yeah take this it won't work yeah it's not gonna do anything for you no i like it i think it helps but with flights yeah i need it for tomorrow it's gonna be brutal if i don't have it you're just fresh out of it yeah i took all of it before like uh for flights or recreationally no i took it for flights and you just have been flying that much yeah i mean i i got like six they only give you like six i think when you take one before every flight so it's like anytime you fly it's like two basically you got to get bossier yeah i mean it's just like i don't even know it's so frustrating everything is just

pissing me off let's get into it dude i want to know why why you're so pissed off i i feel like i can ride this wave with you wave with you let's just get pissed off about the shit together bro i'll be empathetic as hell yeah what are you pissed off about what else is pissing you off other than not not getting enough sleep last night not getting enough sleep not uh getting my drugs that i need trying to think oh my buddy so i'm going to wyoming and he's like he's telling me that we gotta we might have to work while we're there what i was like dude i already have one job i don't need to do another job and he just texts me and he goes we're gonna he's like you guys are gonna be working the dish room on sunday night what the fuck i was like dude i'm not i'm not doing that for what i'm paying to go there but what what dish room like at a homeless shelter no he works at a

restaurant what the fuck is he talking about he works on like a ranch and basically like they get like they get free living and all this shit so he's a hand like a ranch hand yeah and like he's telling us that we're gonna have to work hell no i know stay at the la quinta seriously like literally i'm like i'm not like i'm paying to go there i'm not i'm not paying to go have another job for the weekend this isn't a friend this man is trying to entrap you in a ponzi scheme or like he's told us this before he's like if you guys come like you might have to work for a couple days and i'm like i just brush it off i'm not doing like i'm not there's no way i'm doing that i think that that's i'm not like going back to being a bus boy for a night that's what they told the the muslim people that went to qatar to build the stadiums for the world cup they're like yeah you're just gonna have to work for a day and then they

took their passports and now they're like in indentured servicemen over there that's what's gonna happen to you do not do not go do not work for this fucking guy for free what is he saying i just don't understand what's like what's gonna be the issue if i don't work like what are they gonna kick me out it's gonna be bad for you like his mom's going his mom's not working the where's it where are they all staying where you're all staying i have no idea where we're staying i i assume we're staying in his room like just like on the floor or something dude you have a job now you have a podcast with a decent following people like you people recognize you you don't have to you don't have to work as

a ranch hand to pay your keep i know are. Are they going to pay you in beans? Like I'll pay to stay there if I have to, but I'm not doing dishes. And I don't have anything against that as a job, but like I already have a job. You have a job. Yeah. You don't need to do the extra work. I don't need to go on vacation to do another job. Or better yet, you can afford vacation.

Yeah. You don't have to pay to go on vacation. There's dishes in the back. You got to roll up your sleeve. It's like you went there and couldn't pay your fucking bill at the ranch. I know. Like this guy. What is he saying to you?

When you say, no, I don't want to do this. Why is he? Can you read the text? He literally said. We can call him. Should we call him? Yeah. You're he's enslaving you.

I know. Yeah yeah that's not sweet we're calling him liberate sass bro free sass he might not answer well he's in the kitchen probably probably doesn't have access to his phone he's not gonna answer his i mean he the the ranch bosses definitely have his phone he's not gonna answer his i mean he the the ranch bosses definitely have his phone probably yeah is he in debt to them i don't know your call has been what the fuck dude what are the text messages saying when you push back like i just want to know how he's justifying that you have to work to stay with him my friend nate texting he said bo is your boss gonna be

is your boss gonna need us to work this week and i said i'm not doing that and i said this is a vacation and i already have one job and i don't need another job so you told you told him like it was you didn't sugarcoat it for those motherfuckers at all and then he said and then nate said working in the in the dining room would be fun no it wouldn't and i said i don't want to do that not on the weekend yeah and then and then he just texted like five minutes ago and said you guys are gonna need to do dishes sunday night and then he's fucking with you no he's being so serious and i wish he would answer his phone because i would love to get to the bottom of this he's fucking with you now he's not a bad prank show it's not even a good prank show he's not joking at all because he said this before but before it

was like he like he was like you guys can come out and you can stay as long as you want like you just need to work and this is before i had a job like like a real job so i was like okay i would do that like you're just but that sounds like you're like they make no money like he's there for the entire summer and he works every single day like he has like one day off the whole summer basically that's terrible yeah why are you visiting this person for a view and look it up online and he uh and he they like they get for they get like room and food like provided for them but they make like no money like i think he made like 3k the entire summer so it's an internship like less than that that's fucking bad yeah why would you agree to this just to get the experience like he just wants to see a sweet sunset yeah i mean i think it's really fun like

they like have parties every single night and stuff like and he's in he's living in like a nice ass ranch with like it's like it's like a ranch make out of boxes and shit like that yeah it's a ranch for rich people and he works on it so it's like a ranch make out of boxes and shit like that yeah it's a ranch for rich people and he works on it so it's like a nice ass ranch but why aren't they fucking paying him like a hotel worker because i don't know because i think because room and boards provided but that's not fucking sweet no like is he making tips or anything like that there has to even be a better way out there to live the the wyoming ranch ranch life than to have to go through this much less to drag people in like a fucking pyramid scheme i know it is like a pyramid scheme

you're gonna love it out here it's very strange it sounds like a horror movie honestly it sounds like a really sweet premise for a horror movie i know it does i mean i'm excited to go like his mom it's like there's basically there's like this big party happening on the ranch on friday night and like his mom's going like his sister's going her boyfriend's going i think so it's gonna be like it's gonna be fun it's gonna be a lot of people there but i'm not like i'm not doing dishes on sunday night that's not happening so what are you gonna do instead of dishes i'm gonna go there if they make me do dishes i'm just gonna start breaking shit start breaking the glasses ah just throwing them against the wall i leave tuesday morning i don't know so you have a day to recover after all those dishes yeah i don't even care like if there was a logical reason to do the dishes i

would do them but like i just for free why don't you can you like pay for your meal can you just get like i don't know yeah like it just doesn't make sense is there a chance that you just stay in a hotel no because there's no hotels nearby we actually looked it up the closest airbnb was like four hundred dollars a night just dude it's worth it to not do dishes no it's not so then you're gonna you're gonna wind up doing i'd rather do the dishes than pay four hundred dollars a night and you're doing the dishes i can't believe they're they're bitching you out at this ranch like that. I know. You got to just be a ranch alpha from the jump and just like kick your feet up in the hammock with the straw in your mouth and be like, I ain't doing it.

I ain't doing the dishes. Tell his ass to call back. I know. Is that what's really getting to you about this? Is that the main thing that's getting to you? I feel like we're kind of unclogging the drain of what the fuck is wrong uh no there's a lot it's just everything and sometimes you know sometimes you just build up and then you boil over sometimes you're the windshield sometimes you're the bug yeah sometimes you're the fire sometimes you're the hydrant sometimes you're the dog sometimes you're the fire well i don't remember what the fuck you really are going to

it even your colloquial even your idioms are tripping you up what was up with your twitter so you've been uh you've been gaslighting the system i'm in twitter jail you were suspended for manipulative behavior i was literally just trying to get start a new uh start an alt and uh my hand has been forced i have to start a an alt i have a violation for it was suspension for violating our rules against platform manipulation and spam. How could I be manipulating people? And everyone keeps

on being like, is it your son of the boy dad promotions and jokes or shit? That wouldn't make any sense. There's literally accounts that are based off of just promoting shows. Exactly. Or promoting shit. Or they're saying people are in the hospital. Is that the manipulation? Could that be it could that be the fact that we're all always because it's a joke talking about being in the hospital we can't joke about being in the hospital i've made jokes like that

all the time for years i know i don't understand why they're cracking down on it doesn't make sense i definitely don't get it back guys we'll get your account back but still just i've been in a game too long to be going through this well twitter actually updated their terms of service and now it literally says in the term service that they can ban you from twitter for no reason it was pissing frank the tank off oh yeah he was furious about it my theory was that uh the last thing i talked about was meat and jack with his fucking one vegetable meal a week is uh just furious yeah that guy's fucking weird so i texted that idea to caleb and caleb said that he wouldn't be surprised because he just read about a mosquito that

they're training to bite people and the mosquito will rob you of your tolerance for meat like once you get bit by this mosquito you won't be able to digest meat anymore wow i don't know if he's lying that's pretty harsh that's too much yeah. Yeah. Us meat eaters are like... So what, would you die if you ate meat? Or just like you wouldn't be able to digest it? Maybe you'd be yacking all over the place? Probably. Or pooping your pants and shit like that?

That's weird. That's real weird. It's weird as F. I don't like it at all. I don't think that these mosquitoes should be doing this. Like, I thought that we were destroying mosquitoes, not empowering mosquitoes. Yeah. We're starting to industrialize all these species that we've killed out

over the years. We're going to give dodo birds machine guns. What's fucking next? Fucking, I don't know. What else is on your mind, bro? Let's clear all of this shit out of the way. Not much. We need, no, there's like two or three more things that are in the way.

Personal life? No, not really. Some personal stuff? Nothing personal, really. It's more just like... Those are the first three things. I don't want to fly tomorrow without my drugs. Don't want to fly, can't get your drugs.

You've been relegated to the kitchen. You have to work to earn your keep. I've been demoted. Like Cinderella. I've been demoted. I need to work in the kitchen now. Yeah, that's basically it. Not enough sleep.

Not enough sleep. I hate New York with a passion. A burning passion. Okay, what's been going on in New York? Just everything. I just don't like it. Flameless, godforsaken city. Too much graffiti?

Too much everything. That's why you're going out to Wyoming, because you need some grass. Right now, I'm super excited. It's going to be a nice detox from like work and from the city you're going to have a nice view of the pots and the pans you're gonna have a front row view to everyone's utensils it's gonna be beautiful um yeah yeah we're gonna do a nice hike i think i don't even know if that's gonna happen now and also he texts us and he was like so we're flying into salt lake city okay or not salt lake city we're flying into

rapid city oh where's rapid south dakota okay and it's like three hour drive to where he is because it's right on like the border of running a car and so that's what we were. We don't know. And this is tomorrow morning. And you're flying by the seat of your pants. Yeah. And he told me he was like, hey, yeah, like, I'll pick you guys up. Like, I like driving around here. And I was like, really? You're going to drive like three hours back and forth to pick us up. And he was like, yeah, I don't mind.

And I was like, oh, OK, fine. But I was like that. That takes a lot of stress out of trying to get out of the kitchen. Yeah. I was like, that's totally fine with me. I was like, that takes a lot of stress out of me. Yeah, because he's trying to get out of the kitchen. Yeah. I was like, that's totally fine with me. I was like, awesome. I'll run the errands, boss. Yeah.

And then he texts us and he's like, can you guys rent a car? He actually just texted and he was like, let me know if you guys like, have you guys looked into renting a car at all? Because he's back on the chain gang. I know. Now he got us to come and now. And it was expensive. It was like $600 to go there. Yeah, that shit is out of the way. I know. Now he got us to come and now. And it was expensive. It's like $600 to go there.

Yeah, that shit is out of the way. I know. And now we're going to have to pay for a car. And you're going to have, you should sleep in the car. I know, I might. You really, that's like your best option. It might, that might be the only option. And how many people is it going?

Just you and your buddy? Me and two of my buddies. Two buddies. So a four buddy reunion? Yeah. Dude, I mean, you might have to just save your friend you should break him out of there i know it's gonna be like get out yeah seriously he's gonna be drinking the kool-aid there's gonna be just all kinds of bullshit that you're gonna be going through and and i feel bad for you because of it

i i don't envy you but also you're just you can't be putting yourselves in situations like this no i'm really not that worried about it i'm really i'm really excited to go i've been looking forward to this for a while yeah you need to get out of this fucking city why don't you go to any beach you're not a beach person though no i like the beach depending on where what i hated the beach growing up oh yeah we talked about that your mom always tried to drown you or whatever yeah yeah constantly she would just tie ankle weights to you as a young child to see she would pop my floaties when i was younger but from a distance like while you were out there it would just be weighing you down yeah i mean i like the beach i'm not like a big uh

i'm more of a pool guy i think yes to an extent i don't like like i like once i get in the water at the beach i have a good time but i just don't love like i like once i get in the water at the beach i have a good time but i just don't love the like uh you know going to the beach getting all sandy and then getting sticky after having the patience to get tan is also like that's a feminine trait yeah i like the pool because always there's always you can always go inside or there's an area of shade this the beach is hot you can practice how long you can hold your your breath or yeah try and scratch your belly on the bottom of the pool or something like that or sit on the pool filter sit on the pool filter have it suck your guts have your have it suck your guts out of your butthole that's the american dream that was

like a big fear of mine when i was younger i think that was like hyped up a lot that the pool filter was gonna is that like a myth there was like some story about some kid who like sat on the pool filter and it like sucked his insides out and died you got came up when he was just a bag of skin oh my god it just sucked his butthole out yeah that's a terrible way to go and i when i was younger we would always swim in my my arm would be like don't get too close to the pool filter do you value your butthole time i touched it i was like i don't think this is gonna actually suck me inside of it you put a single finger inside of it i didn't even put it inside i just went up and i gave it a tap like nemo when he hits the boat just a little fit on the side of it yeah but then you got sucked in

like a genie in a land yeah yeah it was a big fear it was a it was a it was a big fear of mine for a very long time that's a legitimate fear dude while i was in hawaii one thing i didn't tell you about i went to a nude beach oh jesus i didn't get nude yeah i didn't get fully nude down but as soon as we got there you had it was like a regular beach you have to kind of climb over a hill and then you get to this other beach or whatever that's how it seems that's how that's how it is in all the movies why there's always a hill in front of it yeah it's like kind of said i think all nude beaches are based on this one nude beach. I think it's like the apex predator of nude beaches. I didn't even know they were allowed to have nude beaches in the United States.

Well, as soon as we got there, this fucking older British guy, like, no, a 75-year-old dude came up to us, rock hard. Yeah, dick out. Rock hard. Oh, Jesus Christ. And was like, the cops have been coming up at, the beach closes at 3.30 and cops come at 4. And they, last week, they were writing people up for public nudity.

So just like, keep your head on a swivel or whatever. Jesus Christ. And then he just like sprinted out into a wave. Like, didn't even try and jump over the wave. Just got blasted by it. Was it like all dudes? For the most part. Yeah.

Not surprising. A couple young women were sunning their pussies. But they dudes uh for the most part yeah not surprising a couple young women were uh sunning their pussies but they were for the most part it was it was dudes just uh dudes with their dicks out yeah and like it was like on the edge of a forest and you could kind of hear like like some thumping like bass music going on in the forest and i think that if you really wanted to get into the nudist lifestyle and uh enjoy a hawaiian style luau where you're the pig on the spit you could kind of go back into the forest and it was like in there you could just kind of hear people's yeah pretty good beatbox bro thank you boots and cats and boots and cats you're like a young ross oh i know i like to pride myself on my beatbox abilities. Did you do barbershop quartet your first year of college?

I did, yeah. You were just in the string quartet. What do they call those? The fucking acapella group? There's a scene in Workaholics we were watching the other day. And they're like beatboxing in the kitchen of the office. And Anders is so fucking funny. He's like, can you feel it, daddy? Can you feel it, daddy?

It's so funny. It's so good. I can't believe those dudes just fucking cranked that show out right out of college, got picked up by Comedy Central, and it was like fucking perfect. It like failed pretty hard though, didn't it? Like it got canceled and then they put it on Netflix and then it like exploded when it was on Netflix. I feel like I remember watching it.

Unless I could just be completely wrong. I think it was coming out. I think they did like eight seasons. I thought it was five. Yeah, but it got rebooted. Oh, really? It definitely got rebooted at one point. I think it was coming out. I think they did like eight seasons. I thought it was five. Yeah, but it got rebooted. Oh, really? It definitely got rebooted at one point. I remember enjoying it immediately.

Yeah, me too. It just resonated. The first four seasons are the best seasons. It's just so appropriately funny. Yeah. I was in the same stage of my life of trying to get a job. I was dishwashing in slavery, and it was bad. It's a hysterical show.

We were actually, me and my roommates were watching that the other night busting up laughing yeah big time you guys clutch each other when you laugh oh yeah we're all grabbing each other's thighs i i strive for that level of laughter i've never laughed and had to grab on to someone i don't understand why people do that i was watching uh real housewives last night and these real housewives these women are 55 like 55 year old white ladies and they grab each other and hug each other like tackle each I was watching Real Housewives last night. And these Real Housewives, these women are 55. Like 55-year-old white ladies. And they grab each other and hug each other. Like tackle each other. It's a female trade.

No, I think that young black dudes love to do it. Grab each other and laugh? Maybe. I've never been grabbed and laughed at by a man. We gotta try it. It just feels unnatural the first couple of times. It annoys me when you're like laughing and someone like grabs your arm and like squeezes it

I'm like what are you doing cause it takes me out of my moment of joy I know I know give me some space it takes me out of my moment of back up what the fuck don't fucking touch me this is my personal space this is my personal bubble you don't get inside

this I don't get inside this i don't get inside yours i don't like people touching me i don't like when people walk too close to me either it's a pet peeve of mine damn how do you that's why you hate new york there's always someone inside your bubble new york sucks in like manhattan sucks i really need you to be specific whenever you say that because it's like uh there's there's a i'm turning into i'm turning into de niro and taxi driver literally what's uh what what was i've only started taxi driver started like seven times yeah i know what happens at the end but i've never finished it i've actually i've literally i've literally started it like seven times it is a slow movie but it's always like a great idea to start watching it

yeah you're like oh this movie's really good and it's always like i love this movie and you never i've never seen the ending i know it kills a bunch of people and like he yeah he just watches a girl he's just watching a girl yeah it's actually there's a there's a movie about a priest something with a or maybe not a priest a pastor he's like a it's called like a priest, a pastor? He's like a... It's called like a... Sins of Our Fathers or something? No, it's an A24 movie. Let me look this up. The fuck is A24?

Oh, shit. My buddy called me. Let's get him on the phone. Let's get his enslaving ass on the phone. Let's get his Kool-Aid drinking ass on the phone. He's not going to answer? He had his two minute break i know probably like climb down into a toilet to call you all right i don't wanna i don't want to drag out this show it's just me just attempting to make calls i like it i like a little phone tag um yeah basically the movie there's this movie an a24 movie and it's like what is a24 you don't

know what a24 is no there's no way you can tell me you don't know what a24 is i'm being vulnerable with you i know you know what it is i don't know what it is you do i'll look it up myself the movie production company it's james franco's company oh dope predator james franco i was about to say isn't james franco didn't he get the uh he got the big sick as far as his career yeah he got axed hard seth rogan came out and said he's never gonna work with james franco again he did yeah he really said that yeah rogan just cookie monster laughed over it? Yeah. Damn, dude. That's fucking devastating. It is, but also it's not very surprising. Is he, though?

I don't know. I assume so. I haven't been. Maybe I'm just catching his old classics. Yeah, there are a lot of old classics. But they still play Baby Driver all the time. Baby Driver's always on every fucking channel. Oh, he's in Baby Driver.

I've never seen Baby Driver. No, no, Kevin Spacey's in Baby Driver. Oh, yeah. Well, he was gay. And that's why he got canceled no we got he didn't get canceled because he was gay oh that was his get out of jail free card they were like you've been fucking children and he's like well i'm gay oh my god i didn't realize i am so sorry i should have been more sensitive to that that's like cuomo i'm not a predator i'm italian or i'm not a pervert i'm italian legendary honestly it is that's a legendary move we're picking him up at barstool he's

gonna podcast here soon yeah salute to cuomo he's gonna be sliding in on uh he's doing uh he's hopping in third chair on call me poppy i'll call him poppy and's going to be sliding in on He's doing, he's hopping in third chair on Call Me Poppy. And Allow Me To Be Frank. It's going to be him, Frank the Tank, just ranting about the Mets. These fucking Mets. He's not actually going to be on the camera though. He's going to be like a producer, third chair. Well, he's just trying

to get back on his feet for this one year. I mean, a year is so long. They even might send him out to the Chicago office because they need a second camera guy out there. Just Cuomo behind the scenes with Danny Conrad. Imagine. Filming Eddie. Cuomo editing stool scenes.

The comment section just killing him. Stool scene sucks since Cuomo took over. Yeah. Cuomo's what happened to this fucking company. But people loved him. There was like a chance. He was going to run for fucking president. You seevor noah video where he's like i am and he's like a lot of people have been saying that they love cuomo i am one of them i'm actually in love with cuomo he said that early on in the uh in in the game like no matter what the politician is that will never be a funny

joke that you're in love with them That you're in love with a politician? Yeah. I think that there was a video that, like, it was one of the early viral videos on all of YouTube. A song called I'm In Love With Obama. And it's just, like, a woman singing that she's in love with Obama. And it did numbers, but, um... Well, what's the joke? Yeah.

Just, I don't really understand the idea of being, like, obsessed with a politician. Yeah. Uh, it's just a... That's some lame shit. Some suckerish move. You of being obsessed with a politician. Yeah. It's just a... That's some lame shit. Some suckerish move. You should be obsessed with podcasters. And not suckling at the fucking dick of Uncle Sam. We're very transparent with what we're trying to do.

Numbies. We're trying to fucking rack up Numbies. They're acting like they want to change the world and be revolutionary when all they want is Numbies. They want Numbies too. At the end of the day, that's all anyone wants. They want Numbies in the booth. They have to lie about so much

shit and pretend to care about so much shit when all they want is Numbies. I know. Like the vaccine. They gotta pretend to care about that bullshit. That absolute bunk. Chet Hanks came out as extremely anti-vax. Salute.

It is hilarious. hilarious salute to him he definitely has the facts that we don't have he's like we did the research he said in his video he was like there's more facts that aliens are real and this vaccine is healthy he's just like he he's unintentionally one of the funniest people on earth and he's getting better oh yeah one of his best moves was giving away $90,000. Or no, no. Posing with $90,000. He didn't give it away.

He doesn't have money to give away. He's on fucking... He's on life support. He's on Instagram DMs begging people for money. But just have... $90,000 is just a hilarious amount. Can we play?

Or have $100,000? Can we play a video or is it going to get copyrighted? We can play a video. All right. We'll commentate over it. We'll do a little light commentary over it.

Real simple for you guys. Real simple. Okay. His voice is so deep. Just like you have the right to be mad at me because I said I'm not going to get

the vaccine. Oh, I can't believe he said that. Just like you have the right to be mad. I have the right to not get that shit.

You know, I wanted to, but my immune system said it's good. Okay. It doesn't need to be tampered with. It said it's good. Okay. Let's be real. I hope just to teach him a lesson that he dies. Wouldn't use a shampoo that's not FDA approved, but you're willing to get some experimental

government injection. Okay. There's more evidence for UFOs being real than that vaccine being healthy for you. Just saying. If the aliens are out there, I'm ready for y'all to come get me. Let's get the fuck out of here. Oh, my God. He definitely grabs other people's arms when he laughs.

There's no doubt in my mind that he grabs people. He's crazy. The way he editorializes. Let's get the fuck out of here. And I'm not really one to suckle at the teat of Johnson & Johnson. I don't need that. But his logic is hilarious. I know.

Just to jump into aliens and just be like and i want to get out of here this all started because he posted an instagram story and he was like i was he's like man i'm so sick of these masks he's like i was just at uh i was at this restaurant and i i had my nap i had my mask and it slipped down in my nose and lady's like well put your mask back on he's like oh i'm sorry i didn't know and then it happened again and she's like well put your mask back on and then she was like are you vaccinated'm sorry, I didn't know. And then it happened again. And she's like, well, put your mask back on. And then she was like, are you vaccinated? And he was like, yeah, I'm vaccinated. And then he turns to him and he's like, nah.

What an absolute psychopath. It's like, dude, you can't be complaining about having to wear the mask. And then he's lying about being vaccinated. And then the lady was like, get the fuck out of here. She kicked him the fuck out of there. What a fucking nut.

But he's just a gift that keeps on giving. He is. He is. I love the people that just shamelessly... Like he was in the... What was the movie or what was the show? Graveyard Enthusiasm. No, the fucking more recent one about New Orleans that fucking Walter White is in.

Better Call Saul. No no it was the fucking other one the guy who played walter white who fucking knows but he was he gets acting jobs yeah he's in a he's in a clip with uh he's in an episode of curb your enthusiasm have you seen that clip yes so funny and just but the fact that people are just hiring him like they really don't give a fuck about any of that stuff no no i mean you believe in just look right he's not a bad actor no and his voice is not he's got a nice deep voice yeah he's just like a little crazy but like so is i mean all good actors yeah most good actors did you see that story in germany that this uh the anti-vax nurse who was uh she gave 8 600 people a saline solution instead of the COVID vaccine.

I did see that. That's crazy. She's going to get the death penalty for that. It's just so psycho. That's crazy. Just get a different job. Yeah, just taking it all into your own hands. She individually wanted to take down the system. She knows what she believes in. Can you die from that?

I don't think it's from a saline solution, but at the same time, like who the fuck knows? Yeah. It would be hilarious if she was just injecting people with like steroids. There's a lot. It would be great. Everyone's just walking around jacked as fucked and they have no idea.

Just like jacked and fucking has a COVID. Like I have vaccinations. I don't understand. They're, they're rage roiding, roid raging. They're furious. Rage roiding. I I mean that's a good way

to make people think that the vax doesn't do anything I know give them an empty vax yeah just a vax that has fucking nothing in it why

like I it's such a crazy thing to do yeah like literally that's one of the most that was one of the most insane stories I've ever seen yeah

it has people going it has people going absolutely yes I like it though I enjoy it. It makes me happy. And whatever company employs her, done. You think just the whole company?

Dude, they have 86, or what was it? It was 8,000, right? Yeah, 8,600. They have 8,600 people who could sue the company right now. But that's like a class action. I feel like all types of companies have had massive class action. Like when Goodyear gets their tie, is Goodyear done? They might be done, honestly.

I don't know. I feel like if you got injected with something that you did not want to get injected with. I'm getting paid. Yeah, you're getting paid big. I'm going to get a seven-figure payout. But think about Johnson & Johnson just had to recall all those sunscreens that are giving everybody cancer or some shit like that there might be something in that like is that going to take down all of johnson and johnson no are they just so fucking powerful that they'll be able to fight back against it i assume they're so powerful but i fucking corporate i gotta start a

corporation i know i'm kicking myself every day not having a corporation it'd be so fucking sweet a full-ass do whatever you want. And just have like, just come up with a whole new different idea and just be like, oh, do this, do this. Like Bezos is not doing that much shit. Like anybody that runs a huge corporation, the fucking Walton family, they're enjoying luxury. They're not making decisions throughout the day.

Running a corporation sounds so fucking sweet. Yeah, it does. But also everyone, a lot of people hate you. You just have to be honest. You got a lot of haters. You have to stomach that shit. Or heroin. Try heroin. Yeah, it does. But also, everyone, a lot of people hate you. You just have to be honest. You get a lot of haters. You have to stomach that shit. Or heroin. Try heroin. Yeah. Like a Hunter Biden situation. Just crush heroin and prostitutes.

Yeah, there was. What was that? He's living. What came out about him yesterday? Something where he was, like a video of him with a hooker or something? Yeah, he was with a prostitute telling her that Russia stole another one of his laptops. They can't stop stealing my laptops. with a prostitute telling her that uh russia stole another one of his laptops that's hilarious it's just funny because like no one seems to really care and did you see the shit about him like he was like he was like basically like texts about him like trafficking humans he was yeah damn i mean he just messed with prostitutes a lot i mean you're kind of in that world he was like talking about like someone like the caption was it was like a new york post article and the caption was something

completely unrelated to the text messages oh he called like an asian person yellow and they had that as the as the caption for the post and then if you read the text it was literally a conversation about like selling humans what the fuck but what was he uh oh yeah he was like i want like oh like no not her but like yeah someone like that no asian or something like that he said something fucking crazy yeah and it was like clearly new york post didn't want to like accuse him like falsely accuse him of like being involved in some sort of sex trafficking ring but do you think that they did they did what they did do they knew what they were doing do you think that crazy stuff is actually happening in his life or he's just like when someone loses their phone and they accuse someone of stealing

it it's like oh dude someone stole my phone it's like no you lost it in the couch with i'm assuming biden probably does not trust hunter biden with anything so i'm assuming like even if they steal his laptop they're not getting too much he's tommy boy and black sheep and they're not giving him any actual secrets or anything i'm assuming joe biden probably hasn't talked to his son in months there's probably like someone else who's pretending to be joe biden sending the texts to hunter biden just like someone who has the he can just pretend to be senile as well. Yeah. Just that equally crazy asshole person. Just be like, yeah, dad's fucking crazy.

Yeah. Or maybe he's just acting crazy at all times so he doesn't have to talk to his son. They probably told Joe Biden that Hunter Biden died six years ago. He just has no idea. He doesn't know how to log onto Twitter and read the fucking, the post, whatever post is saying about whatever prostitute. Yeah. They might both think the other one is dead.

Probably. They would just run into each other at a whorehouse sometime. Joe's lost. Hunter Biden always still thinks that Trump's president. He's probably leading the, they stole the election. Like he's probably a big Trump guy. Oh yeah,

a hundred percent. I mean, it makes sense. You gotta be, if you're, if your dad's going up against... You don't root for your dad. Can't root for your dad.

Yeah, not in the election. Because you know that you know your dad's true colors. He obviously hates his dad, too, with all this self... Like, he wouldn't be knees deep in hookers if he had a loving relationship with his father. He's always doing, like, hard drugs, too. Something's going on. Something's wrong. Yeah, his dad... And we we're gonna dive deeper into that in future episodes please please subscribe please let everyone know and actually this is a perfect time for us to do an ad let's

do a fucking ad right here all right td bank america's most convenient bank, that ad was good. That was a good ad. Yeah. And if you like that, make sure you buy it or subscribe to it or whatever. Support it. Or whatever it was. Do the, um... It's good. Whatever that ad was, just make sure you support them.

They asked me and Sass who we wanted as partners and we said them. Them. We want them. That's who we want to be with because they represent me and sass who we wanted as partners and we said them them then we want them we want them that's who we want to be with because they represent us and we represent them yes shout out to that brand very much so which we love which we love we love them with all of our heart our entire heart so we're gonna go to uh we're gonna go to buffalo yeah we're going to buffalo yeah pumped have you ever been up Buffalo way? I don't think so, no.

I don't think I've ever been to upstate New York. Bro, Buffalo is an elite food city. You know who lives in Buffalo? Keemstar. Shut up. That we should link up. Oh, the actual king of New York? Weren't they fucking talking about him?

But he's the... It was a municipality mix-up. You're the king of New York City. He's the king of New York State. No, he said there is no king of New York. He's lying. He was on BFFs yesterday, and they were talking about it. They were talking about you. Yeah.

What did they say? Did you wind up listening to it? Yeah, it was nothing. He didn't even remember it happened. Yeah, like he flies off the fucking mouth. Yeah, he's a real-life troll. He's like a professional troll. No, he lives under

a bridge and i i felt victim to the trolling one time he posted some shit and he was like if you have anxiety just stop or something like that and i got like pissed you raged tweeted back i was like this is disgusting behavior it's an affliction yeah and then i didn't realize it was like oh this is keemstar you really didn't know that it was him specifically? I didn't know what his thing was. And it's like being an asshole online. You got triggered. I feel like you're a pretty untriggerable guy.

Depends on the time in my life. Yeah. I don't get triggered online. Well, I do, but I don't tweet about it. What was going on in your life? Or like what periods do you go through in life that makes you more triggerable? What makes you trigger happy? What gives you, gives you an itchy trigger finger? I don't know. It's like, if you're having a bad day, you log on, you log onto Twitter,

see something you don't like almost instantly. It's been good days for you though recently. Yeah. You've had a lot of good days recently. Have I? I don't know. I feel like you have. Success after success, you're trying new things. You're in like a creative blossoming phase. Oh yeah. Yeah. I guess so. I mean, I, yeah. I think my only complaint is just New York after success you're trying new things you're like a creative blossoming phase oh yeah yeah i

guess so i mean i yeah i think my only complaint is just new york city i don't want to be in new york city anymore just period permanently shut the fuck up dude yeah period period i do not want to be here at all fucking make fun of me dude shit is fucking serious bro i'm trying to get you to open up about your feelings. Would you want to move somewhere close to here or far, far away? Far, far, far away. You're a California guy. No, no.

I want to go back to Chicago at some point and I want to, yeah. Work in the Chicago office. I know. I want to. Would you actually? Yeah, 100%. Breaking news alert. If there's anybody in Chicago at Barstool that has a desk for sass in the office, he's looking to move back. Yeah.

Or maybe you could manage the Sears Tower. Run social accounts. Social media manager for them. Social for the Sears? Yeah. That would be fucking sick. Not a bad idea. The Hancock or the River or the Bean.

There has to be multiple things that you could be taking care of out in Chicago. The bean is disgusting. Why do you like Chicago more than New York? Because it's a lot more manageable. It's more spread out. Not as much disgustingness everywhere. That's why you just need to try Brooklyn, bro. I know.

I know I would like Brooklyn more. So why not try it? Because I have a lease. And when you're done with your lease? In like six months. Four months. Four months. Four four months you should just start looking now i know i know i know start looking so you can start living in the future you know what i mean you start anticipating the next thing that you're going to be doing you're out you're you're by the water suddenly you're you have a jet ski you have a fucking boat slip is donnie or i guess we should we even talk

about that yeah we might as well is donnie swimming i guess we should we even talk about that yeah we might as well is donnie swimming across the river today or now i don't think he is i don't think he is either i think he i think he bitched out he said he can't go hippo mode anymore yeah he lost his ability yeah he probably didn't want to swim he probably didn't want to pay that fine but still you should i mean if you're just about it it's content it will be it will be probably it would make the news. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I don't think it would.

I think it would end up being kind of boring, though. I didn't even care about the content. I just wanted to see him do it. And I thought it'd be fun if fans came and watched him do it, too. Or if he drowned or if they had to rescue him. Yeah, it would be hilarious. It would be hilarious. Or if he gets swept down the river.

Yeah. It would have been fun to watch. I was excited. But I get why he's not doing it. Who do you think is most likely to die of the people you know at Barstool? Probably Chef Donnie. Because he's got that show, Die Trying? Yeah.

That is pretty gnarly. I mean, the bus race one didn't seem like he was very much a chance of him dying. I don't know what he's going to do in the future. The skydiving shit, it's like... I don't think people die skydiving a lot do they sky it's in the it's in the name skydiving bro you do it long enough that's true it's named after death you know you gotta like how many jumps do you have to do to get to be able to jump alone i think it's like 25 or something it is some crazy number yeah but uh yeah i mean him yeah or like i don't know someone that's the other crazy thing we got

a heavy office so a lot of health problems just circling around this place yeah yeah it's just a sedentary office yeah Yeah. People are just sitting around all the fucking time. I know. You got to make sure you just have to have like some kind of hiking content or like

Sass travels the world or something. I wanted to try and figure some shit out with that. I have a video that I want to do this weekend on the mountain. Cleanest way to get

best way to get a dish clean. Reviewing dish reviewing dishes. dishes reviewing dish detergents yeah eating the leftovers shine off of this one but it does kind of wear down the uh the finish the luster of the plate isn't as sparkly as once i got it but that could have been the fake beans that these ranch hands are eating typically i don't like to use soap on a cast iron but this soap too bad we don't have a soap ad today we've been a great plug yes shout out soap shout out all the soap companies honestly i don't know why these door companies didn't want to sponsor us i had so many people reaching out i don't even remember talking about it i do do remember being like, okay, let's move on to the doors. Yeah, you dissociated from the doors. You didn't think that the doors, there was any fruit to the doors.

People loved the door talk. People loved it. All my mentions were people being like, dude, this door is $10 million. You dumbass. My dad hand makes doors. No, the one person said it was $10 million for eight doors or some shit like that. Or some obscene amount of fucking money. Doors are so expensive.

If people are spending that much on doors, sponsor the fucking pod, dude. I mean, it makes sense. There's doors that are massive. But don't somewhere and you open... Even the Apple Store. You go to the Apple Store, the door is like 100 feet tall. Because they have to survive riots and everything like that. Yeah.

Fuck the Apple Store. People put in concrete blocks through the fucking windows. tall because they have to survive like uh riots and everything like that yeah they need to survive people put in uh concrete blocks through the fucking windows people throwing bricks at the apple store but yeah doors are fucking no one ever think we take doors so fucking for granted i know people trying to give us free doors and shit like that me and uh me and owen watched um transformers the other night. Sick. Good ass movie. Because of Fox? You were just thinking about Megan Fox after that MGK shit?

Yeah. Yeah, we watched it. I'd seen it before. I think I'd only seen it once. First of all, hilarious movie. From what perspective? Intentionally or unintentionally? Intentionally.

Not in an ironic way at all. It is a very funny movie. I believe that. I was crying laughing at like or not crying i was cracking up hard at a lot of at a lot of you were grabbing you were touching i was grabbing i was grabbing thighs he just had one fingerprint on i was grabbing all the thighs around me i was like this is funny just squeezing the fuck out of people this is funny let me get a squeeze of you what were uh who was cracking the most jokes labuff labuff his parents were funny in it optimus prime is a funny motherfucker yo optimus prime is like uh that was like a early 2000s like freestyle buzzword yeah you're a freestyle rapping you were like top of the line optimus prime like

he's a badass yeah he is i didn't really like how the second one became a very it was very heavy like military promotion um basically the autobots became pigs all the autobots became uh filthy bastard pigs all autobots are bastards yeah they were like they were like working with the government constantly. It was like, bro, this is not what we were fighting for. It just completely got lost

in the shuffle. I need them to reboot Transformers and have it be a fight against capitalism. I think that's what Avatar was made as a response to Transformers. Yeah. You have to get off this planet

where all these machines are linking up. We need to get back in touch with nature and plug our tails into the trees and shit like that. It should have been like that. It should have been Optimus Prime in Times Square just ripping down billboards. And pissing on corporations. Yeah. Fucking and filing.

And skull fucking Jeff Bezos with his massive robot cock. Filing class action suits against Johnson and Johnson on behalf of all the people who wore the wrong sunscreen. You know what I also didn't get about that movie is why do they die? They're robots. Yeah, that's bullshit too. Yeah. Fix them.

They can't just get plugged back in. No. Recharge them. Especially when they had the government on their side. It's like, it didn't make sense. I guess maybe they had brains. We don't know about it. Turn them off and then turn them back on i know right throw them in rice

oh optimus prime got wet that's the one thing he can't do that should be the and also i love optimus prime but he kind of is like a bitch like he he never wins a fight he's constantly just getting thrown around by the decepticons. Just sparks flying all over the place. Yeah. He never, like, there's no, like, he got bailed out in the first one by the humans. And in the second one, he dies. He dies? He dies, and they bring him back to life.

What, uh, what's Voltron? Is that them all put together? Um, I don't remember. Voltron? Voltron might be the Decepticons one oh it's like when all the deceptic i never understood why they didn't just go into voltron altogether there's a decepticons one in the second one where they like a bunch of decepticons like come together and create this like monster of a decepticon like similar to power rangers you know when power

rangers that might be what is that what Voltron is from? you know when Power Rangers when they all assemble? yes Voltron Legendary Defender Power Rangers assemble so is Voltron

it's own shit? but the fact that there were that there were so many shows about people just coming together and making like a big ass machine I know

it was a big ass it was a big unity time look at us now AI is years ahead of what it should be. We're doomed. There's robots that... It's going to be funny when these microphones come back at us and kill us. Oh, definitely. I mean,

I've talked about it a million times, but the show's Robot Wars, it's going to be like dogfighting. It's going to be like Michael Vick when you put two robots in a pen and make them try and fight one another with saws. very fun to watch it'll be like real life transformers they have that though they have the robot wars where they put two robots into it in the middle of a uh the middle of a pin a pen and they just have like saws and they try and destroy

the other robot i've never seen that that's a real thing yes they set these robots on each other it was on like espn2 you ever play, what's it called? What is the game? Skip it. With the plastic robots and you're like, hungry, hungry hippos? Similar to that. Maybe. And you hit them and whoever loses the head pops up.

Oh, sock and boppers? Sock and boppers. Yes. Sock and boppers. Yes. Yeah, those things are fun as fuck. Yeah, rock and bops. My buddy who I'm going to visit this weekend in Wyoming, he had those when we were younger

and we would play with them all the time. And then one day I went over to his house and he ripped the heads off of them. What the fuck? What kind of Sid from Toy Story shit was he going through? Were his parents getting divorced or what? Maybe. It had to be it. His parents were fighting a lot.

He labeled them mom and dad and just ripped the heads off. How do you like it, mom? Rock'em Sock'em robots are like a therapy tool. Yeah, they definitely are. They had me doing that at therapy and they had me set up Dave Portnoy as one of them. I was the other guy. How do you like that? How do you like that?

Dave, I don't teach you. Why don do you like that dave that'll teach you why don't you care for me check in with me more often why don't you follow me on twitter does he not no what yeah on any account on no account i thought that he just said that on his podcast that you were funnier he thinks i'm a tiktoker come on bro you don't even have the. You don't even have the app. Bullshit. I don't even have the app. This is dumbass, bro.

You literally don't even go on TikTok. I know. That's not your main thing at all. No. Twitter. You're a Twitter guy. I'm a Twitter guy. And so is he.

And you were at one point. Come on, man. Too soon. I'm still on lockdown, bro. Fresh moon. Fresh moon. You'll get it back. I have a, my alt account is called Roan.

We actually might have to end this early because you have a meeting with Jack. Talking about how we can improve. Jack, how can I be a better person on Twitter? What can I do? Because I've been eating two meals a week. Do you think I should just get down to one meal a week?

I'm constantly high on psychedelics. Is that wrong? I microdose throughout the day every every single day but it's still a microdose and i'm i'm anxious constantly i'm seeing i'm delusional and i'm seeing six of you right now but i do everything on square or what's what's the other app he has square what's he has some other vine vine fucking miss vine bro that was the peak of comedy don't even bring up vine bro vine was hilarious bro can't even do that shit anymore though no fucking cancel culture got vine can't even make jokes anymore bro it's us and jenna marbles fucking crushing shit on vine man we need to link up with jenna marbles alex cooper and just find out how to get out of

this hellhole man didn't jenna marbles uh quit youtube i think she did but she's really she's kind of like the she's like the harriet tubman of uh she's like one of the biggest youtubers ever yeah yeah but i'm saying the harriet tubman in that she's like building a railroad of people to get out of barstool she's like teaching people how to escape from barstool it's like first alex cooper then o'day yeah fucking everybody man all the people are fucking just trickling out of here i know one by one and they're just following well i'm gonna buy it one day i'm gonna turn into sass stool that's what i mean talk that corporation shit bro it's gonna happen why not sooner the sooner than people think yeah and i'm gonna get into like basic like iron ore like fucking precious metals like gas like i'm like

frack i'm definitely gonna be fracking i actually bring a team with me when i go to wyoming we're gonna suck those mountains dry of all their resources are you going to any national parks like what that you can't steal shit from you know know the national parks where you can't move a rock? I'm going to be stealing. No stealing natural gas. They say you can't. On every hike, there's shit. They'll be like, oh, stay on this line.

Walk this path because this is all blah, blah, blah. And you know I'm up there just torching shit, lighting shit on fire. Stealing limestone. Yeah. Stealing precious metals out of it. Digging into the the gravel trying to get some oil stepping on grass that's never been bent in its entire life completely preserved nature that no human being has ever laid foot on i'm up on the mountain and i look out and i say you know

what we're looking up here a nice amazon warehouse let's tear this thing down a fat highway into an amazon warehouse maybe a walmart on one side an amazon warehouse on the other yes and maybe a wayfair factory fucking smack dab in the middle of it oh yeah it's just a way to traffic children wow you're getting some corporate some nice corporate shit what is the what is like the super controversial clothing thing like fast clothing what is it called fast fashion fast fashion some kind of fashion nova yeah fast fashion i want to open up a fast fashion factory yeah there's an age limit you can't work there if you're over 13 children only and there's going to be a train like an amtrak going straight from this from all the local schools straight to the straight to the mountain and do they get to go

back to school or they just get oh no they just go and set up shop yeah they set up shop we'll teach them there how to sew properly how to make how to make leggings yeah how to make leggings that will make your ass look absolutely incredible yeah there's 13 year olds fucking sewing by hand logos leggings are definitely all made by hand there's very little doubt in my mind that there's fucking just the youth of Wuhan just fucking forging some leggings. Bad factory conditions. You gotta tap that. That's untapped land out there.

You need to take... There's just fields. I saw a map the other day of all the counties in America that are bigger than New Hampshire and there's like fucking 12 counties on their own that are just bigger than New Hampshire. Really? Let's slap a fucking corporation in there. New Hampshire's not that small.

I know. And then there's these full counties that are all the way bigger than New Hampshire. Yeah. We need to get Walmarts, Amazon, Target, Target. I mean, Kmart used to be a big dog. Is Kmart done? No, Kmart's not big anymore. Kmart is one of the worst

places you can go but how do you lose how do you lose out when you're just shoveling shit into like everybody's like you're just giving people cheap easy bad stuff like how does that lose i went to kmart i had a kmart right by where i used to live in east village and like when the riots and stuff like when the election was going on they thought there's gonna be riots kmart was the only place like near there that was boarded up and it was like no one's going to kmart no one's there's like a gushy store next the next block over it was right near soho they thought that people were gonna pass over the farragamos to go fucking to go rob kmart yes they're not they're not what are they gonna get Like, what does Kmart have? Turtlenecks? Yeah.

Bananas? Bananas. They have good snacks. Do they? I went there to get a mirror. This was when I really started hating New York. They definitely have like a $19 full body mirror at Kmart. They don't.

Not even a $19? It was like a $5 mirror and it was like a piece of plastic. It was like someone put tinfoil on it. You got a handheld mirror like your Beauty and the Beast? No, it was full it was like someone put tinfoil on it you got a handheld mirror like the beauty like you're beauty and the beast no it was full body but i didn't buy it a five dollar full body mirror it was not it was not a mirror it was not made out of whatever a mirror is made out of the fact that mirrors are even made out of like can't you just paint a piece of glass and it becomes a mirror if there's a certain type of paint i think there is just paint that turns into mirrors probably yeah it makes sense is there i know there's a certain type of paint. I think there is just paint that turns into mirrors. Probably, yeah. It makes sense.

Is there? I know there's like chalkboard type shit for that or like whiteboard. We just don't appreciate how mirrors exist enough. No, we don't. At all. When I really started hating New York was when I first moved into my old apartment and it was not furnished at all. And there was a bunch of shit that I needed that I thought would have been like, I didn't

bring it because I was like, oh, I thought, I think this is going to be easy to get. Because like where I'm from, not even where I'm from like in chicago too you there was like big ass target warehouses or like bed bath and beyond shit like that yes you go to new york you go to target it's like a cvs there's like one there's like one little room you can get like candy and like a turtleneck if you're there too dude it's the same with macy's i went to a macy's in new york and there was just nothing in there yeah it looked like it had been like wiped out but i just don't think they ever had stock yeah so i like wasn't aware of this at all so i'm like i'm i i didn't have any friends when i moved here and i'm like looking to play video games with my friends from home and i have my playstation but i

don't have a tv and i'm looking to buy a tv and like a chair at target because we didn't have any chairs in my apartment. Impossible. Went to like seven different locations. You can't buy anything in New York. No, you have to order it. Except for dashikis. Yeah, you have to order everything. It's crazy.

And I was like, oh my God, I hate this so much. I was about to go to Brooklyn to go to Ikea, but then I was like, I'm going to get there and there's not going to be anything there either. They're going to have to tell me I have to order it to the store. And then I would have killed myself. I would have thrown myself off the bridge. you're walking back from ikea with a dresser and like a fucking long skinny box and i had no idea how to take the train at that point either so i'm taking like 70 ubers from target to target terrible moving to the big city alone that's spooky but you're brave yeah i wasn't that

bad it was you can't be brave unless you try something hard i got over it you can't be brave unless you do something you're scared of it's true i wasn't scared to move here it's kind of scary if i knew what it was like ahead of time i would have been more scared you just wouldn't have done it yeah what did you think it was going to be like i thought it was going to be like chicago i thought it was gonna be like walking down to the lake every day flying cars yeah you should just walk down to the river i do and it's a shithole is there like even a beach no that's why you got to move to fucking i know dude have you ever gone to the water in new york yeah there's a beach in dumbo you just go i mean not not in brooklyn i

mean in manhattan oh no no you don't want to no no no i went on a run at my it's like india people are just like peeing and also washing their clothes in the river we live pretty close to uh not that all of india is like that there's lovely parts of yeah there is bombay mumbai we live pretty close to the water i think it's the hudson yeah the hudson's on one of the sides well what side's brooklyn on that's the east river right correct yeah so we live pretty close to the hudson and uh and when we first moved in i was like all right like this isn't bad like we're nice close to the right by the water i was like oh we're nice and close to the water like this should be nice

and i was like i'm gonna go for a run and i go for a run and literally our entire strip where the water is is a dump swear to god i swear i'm running and i'm i'm it broke me oh we're running and i'm smelling just the worst smells the entire time oh my god how do they just have a dump right in the middle of new york i don't know and like right near the water they probably just file all that shit straight into the hudson you're definitely getting the worst shit too dude it was the worst and i'm like i used to go to the dump with my dad when i was younger like i've never been like what what do guys don't have a dump where you're from not uh no i mean there is a dump you don't like uh go to it with your dad well we would go and we bring the trash oh i thought you're like picking no no

i thought that you and your dad were just climbing the mile the biggest mountain that was like a drop off trying Trying to get like a sofa or something like that. No. Maybe my dad went to the dump. No, my dad would make me go to the dump with him on Sundays. Take advantage of fast fashion. We were throwing out a lot of good cardigans. We would go and we would drop off the trash and I would never have as problem. Like it would obviously it smelled bad, but it wasn't like this was like i was like on

the verge of throwing up it smelled so bad and i'm running at the same time well how come you guys didn't have like a trash a trash man at home yeah like why didn't someone come and pick up your trash we just didn't really i don't think i think it's not i think where i'm from it's pretty common to just go to the dump really yeah that's that's's weird to me. That's foreign to me. When we moved, we got a trash service. Where did you... Where the people would come into our house and empty out all the trash cans and shit.

Huh. Was it... I'm kidding. I feel like that's also as equally unbelievable as you having to go to the dump. Really? I have such a strong memory

of every Sunday of my dad being like, we got to go to the dump. Your what kind i have such a strong memory of what kind of car was it being like we got to go to the dump your dad was probably illegally dumping shit no i would help him back up all the trash and then we'd go to the dump and there'd be a big pit and we would have to like what'd you put it in the back seat of your like an suv yeah what if the trash leaks it doesn't because you double bag it because we had to use these blue bags that the government made you the town made you buy or else you weren't allowed to throw your bags in what the fuck yeah is this shit normal i don't know i thought it was normal or is this just a cultural experience i didn't have like greening out that was some of the biggest greening out yeah everyone was like greening out is definitely

you don't know what greening out is bro that's because you're smoking mids now that's funny well were you smoking hippo kippo campus no hippie crippler hippie crippler the hippie crippler oh this is medicine you should be good yeah the hippie crippler the hippie crippler has the shit always has some fucking gnarly ass names it does but it ain't mid bro pineapple express was the first shit i ever toked on. I ain't fucking greening out off no fucking Pineapple Express, bro. Even if I smoke the cross joint. You're not getting the good stuff. We actually got the stuff straight off of the set of Pineapple Express.

It's $200 for a gram. It was the last time Franco and Rogan hung out with each other. Yeah. It still has their DNA on it. That is, dude. A comedy duo fucking fractured at the seams i know fucking studying at the knee of that's gonna be us one day man yeah you're gonna be franco no no no no no okay how how are you how are you well we'll have to uh we'll switch it up it'll be like Franco and Jonah Hill Or no Excuse me

Okay you're Franco as well then Excuse me It'll be Rogen and Jonah Hill And I would be Jonah Hill Because I'm way beefier than you I'm way beefier than your frail ass Wait what do you mean beefy? Well you know Jonah Hill is a little bigger than Seth Rogen

But are you talking about good beef or bad beef? Well just in every way Like I'm more muscular And Jonah Hill a little bigger than Seth Rogen. But are you talking about good beef or bad beef? Well, just in every way. Like, I'm more muscular. And Jonah Hill's more muscular than Seth Rogen. You're the more beefed up of the two bros. It's bulking season, dude. Last night, I fucking cooked a filet mignon. And then you ordered... What'd you order?

Ten wings right after that. Bam. That's bad. You don't want that. Yeah, I did. You don't want that shit. Yes, I did, brother. Dude, we didn't talk about my Uber story much on the act, did brother dude we didn't talk about my uber story

much on the act did we we didn't talk about it at all dude i had a devastating night the other night with uber eats i never i love wings actually that now that you said that i am hungry and i want to go get some wings after this yes brother i never i never order wings i never get wings but i love wings why don't you order them just like one of those suits i don't order a lot i try when i order I never order wings. I never get wings. But I love wings. Why don't you order them? Just like one of those foods I don't order a lot. When I order food, I try and get healthy food. And I do most of the time because I order food too much, more than I should.

And I ordered wings. And I got a notification that said, like, your order may arrive soon. It was supposed to get there at 8. those bastards three hours go by and i am like the most hungry i've ever been to the point where like i'm like you don't want to get hungry when you're like you think you're gonna you think you might throw up because you're so hungry yes i know exactly what you're talking about and why does that happen i don't know why is our body so hungry i'm like i'm like jittery i'm like i don't know what to do it's pouring out i was gonna go just get food it's pouring outside damn oh i remember that night that was a bad night when it started pouring like that it was a torrential it was coming down in fucking sheets of rain so like no one's

delivering food and i'm calling the restaurant and i'm like what's going on like what can i get the food i'm hungry i'm starving i need this and i eventually ordered shake shack burger gets there and i was saying good things about shake shack and i have no doubt about i bet the burger was good but i was so hungry to the point that like i could it was making me want to throw up more eating it by eating by eating it was making me like i was so nauseous and i'm like stuffing this burger down and i'm like i am this the most like intense food experience i've ever had so the wings never came the wings never came no so then i get a text at around 11 o'clock

and they say you're gonna actually have to wash the dishes for these wings now they say hi this is doordash connecting you and i didn't order it from doordash so i don't know why i don't have a doordash account i've never used doordash hi hi this is door dash connecting you to your dasher for updates about your order i'm here with your order and i said i'm not there because i i lied because i didn't want to go fucking talk to this person because i was still i was still coming off of it this anger i didn't want to take it out on the delivery driver so i knew it had nothing to do with that what would you have said to him you were afraid of what you were going to do you protected him from you by saying that you were from my wrath what were you going to say to him? You were afraid of what you were going to do. You protected him from you by saying that you weren't there.

I protected him from my wrath. What were you going to say to him? It was going to be a storm of fists. But it was a girl, so I was never going to do that. You were going to beat up your woman delivery driver because your wings didn't come fast enough? Three hours. That's toxic.

And it just kept on saying. It just continued to stay. 820, 820, 820. It's 1130. No no wings and i'm like i'm literally rolling around i'm so hungry right now it is funny though that that was during the snowstorm or the the rainstorm like the most violent rain that i've ever experienced in all of new york city because the guy was probably just like stuck under an underpass so he was eating those wings definitely he was like i may as well hop into these exactly because people were just waiting under underpasses and i saw people who were dry that 45 minutes

after the rain had started like i think they were just stop yes the humidity did you yesterday it rained hard too but to get back so i said i'm not there anymore the order was supposed to be here three hours ago you can just take it if you want it and if not leave it out i was gonna say if not just give it to a homeless person but then i was like that i think that's too much attitude i don't think that's attitude at all i've said that to people before and i meant it earnestly yeah so i say you can take it or feed it to the dogs i'm kidding i said you could take it or you could leave it outside and then they said i'm sorry just know this isn't in my control when you place an order and notify as many dashers near.

And I guess I was the only one who accepted it. And it says that it was delivered by 1140, 1114. And I was like, well, it says on me, my end that it was delivered by 11, but it was eight by eight 20.

And then I said, no worries. You can just have it. So did you get your money back? No, I haven't done that yet. And you didn't get anything free for it either. Nope.

You just have to advocate for yourself. I'm going to get the money back. I know I'm going to get just as a rule in life for it either? Nope. You just have to advocate for yourself more. I'm going to get the money back. I know I'm going to get the money back. But just as a rule in life, I think that you just need to advocate for yourself more. The fact that this guy's making you wash dishes, the fact that... Well, he's my best friend.

No, he's not. Bro, that's my best fucking friend you're talking about. No, he's not. That's not a friend if he's going to make you wash dishes to hang out with him. He's not. He's your boss. That's your direct superior.

I'm not going to wash the dishes and then he's not going to be able that's your direct i'm not i'm not going to do wash the dishes and then he's not gonna be able to do anything about it he's the manager i think he thinks like we want to do it because my other buddies they're not like rolling around in money like i am well why don't you bless them with a hotel room i don't have that kind of money i don't have any type of money i have enough money to survive, why don't you just survive with your boys? I'm going to and I'm definitely... I'll go and stand at the dishes. I'm not touching a dish and I'm definitely not getting it wet with some soap either.

Sass's boys. I'm going to be spit shining those dishes. Please send me the picture when Sass inevitably starts washing dishes. Please send me the apron picture where he just has barbecue sauce fucking all over his front as he's just scrubbing brown

rice off of these fucking... I'm definitely going to end up doing dishes this week. That's so shitty. I can't believe that that's happening. I would have came in fucking with a sulky attitude as well if I found out that I had to go back to like... Just, I mean, again, nothing wrong with

washing dishes. It's a bummer that this is going to this is going to come out after you've washed the dishes. I've washed the dishes. Yeah. It'll be, I mean, well, the next episode, people will find the fuck out.

We should put out two next week for the people. Yeah. Give them an update. If they get us to 20,000 on Instagram, we'll put up two episodes, 20,000, 20,000 on Instagram,000 on Instagram. 20,000.

Is that such a big ass that we're going to look like jackasses when it doesn't happen? I would like to put out two episodes no matter what. Because I think it'll be good to get back on track, like get back on our schedule. Especially if we go to Buffalo. Yeah. We should record another episode in Buffalo towards the end of the week. And it might be a little bit shoddier. Like we might have to record it with whoever we're with in Buffalo.

It might not have the exact same dimensions, but it'll be a bonus episode for you motherfuckers. I think it might be a little bit shoddier like we might have to record it with whoever we're with in Buffalo might not have the exact same dimensions but it'll be a bonus episode for you motherfuckers I think it'll be good I think cause they're well I don't want to give away anything give it away cause it's gonna be for a great week so they're gonna have to record PMT

it's not like they're recording PMT on fucking rinky dink bullshit I'm just saying as far as having two cameras set up and everything we might be on one camera yeah that's fine as long as we have a normal as long as we have a real camera that's all that fucking matters yeah dude as long as we have our cameras and our imaginations dude we're like fucking spongebob bro we could have a good ass time in just a box so true you ever see that episode of spongebob where he's in a box i have and he makes it like a it's a whole thing that my favorite sub-punjabi episode is the sandcastle one where there's a sandcastle they build sandcastles

but they get creative with it and like they build like fucking forts and all this cool ass shit tanks what goofball came up with all that shit i know fucking using cartoons to the fullest i know spongebob's a good show salute to those to those guys. SpongeBob's a great show. But I feel like in a lot of good shows, you know who the person is that creates it. You know who made The Simpsons. You know who made Rick and Morty. You know who makes South Park. Why don't we know who makes SpongeBob? What's the guy's

name? I don't know. Exactly. Why don't we know? I don't know. Let's look it up and give him a little credit. In the meantime, should we get the fuck out of here? Yeah, I'm going to call my buddy one more time. Call your buddy one more time. It's made by a guy named Patrick.

No. Just kidding, brother. What? Oh, shit. One thing? It's a guy named Gary. You better answer. After all the shit that we've been through?

Like, what could he possibly be doing right now? Dishes? He's definitely doing dishes. It's bullshit. Answer the fucking phone. Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice. Should we dox his ass? Seven.

All right. Figure it out from there. It starts with a seven. Yeah. All right. You do the rest. We've got you to the goal line. Just punch it in right there.

That's all the information that you need. You should havexxed him that would have been hilarious just people are calling him you can get this i think you can get in trouble for doxxing a close friend can you no because what platform does he have to complain about it he's voiceless i know should we doxx him yeah yeah yeah no i don't does that mean yeah but who cares he's like my best friend exactly it'll be funny and you'll be out there the entire time yeah let's do it that'll be hilarious uh give all but one of the numbers yeah that's more chaotic but then it's not a bad idea it's like a really bad idea we could cut it out if we don't want to do it let's just do it steven hillenburg is the guy who came up with

spongebob let's dox your friend and if you don't want to do it. Steven Hillenburg is the guy who came up with SpongeBob. Let's dox your friend. And if you don't want to do it, the episode will just end right there. Right. Like if you, if you have second thoughts before this episode comes out, we'll maybe only give seven of the digits of his 10 digit phone number. All right. It's 178. 1781.

This can't be, this can't even be legal. 1781. 1781. This can't even be legal. 1-7-8-1. 1-7-8-1. Give him a call and say, we're not doing your dirty ass dishes. Or hit him up on Venmo

because he needs that shit. Yeah, true. You can just type his number into Venmo and buy all the boys, buy Sass and all the boys some fucking, some sweet ass shit this weekend. Actually it can't be bad now

that we've now that we've entered the universe. Yeah. So they get so we can stop washing dishes. He's actually obviously going through it right now. He's obviously going through it. All right bro. Have a safe flight. Enjoy yourself out there. All right. Maybe we'll do a bonus episode. That'll be fun. See you later. See everyone

later this week when we do the bonus episode from Buffalo. All right. See you'll do a bonus episode. That'll be fun. See you later. See everyone later this week when we do the bonus episode from Buffalo. All right. See you when we're in Buffalo. Unless either of us dies between now and then. Yeah. All right.

Peace.