Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 14 - Clean Dishes

Episode Date: August 20, 2021

-- Sas & Rone are back from their travels in delightful spirits for an almost 2-hour bonus episodeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. And if you close your eyes. Hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho, hey-ho. And if you close your eyes. All right, are we good to go? What is up, everybody?

Welcome back to another episode of Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Bonus, bonus, bonus. Welcome back to another bonus episode of Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is August 19th. We got a very, very fun episode today. It's going to be very fun. Lots of laughs. Laughter. Lots of laughs. Lots of happiness. Lots of laughter.

Have you rebranded as an optimist? I've rebranded. I'm practicing happiness for now. What's's making you practice it because your facial hair is growing in so good i don't know um because i'm miserable constantly i'm trying to work my way out of that with forceful happiness jumpstart your happiness fuck around and write a book if you are listening to this now make sure you also have checked out uh we had another episode come out earlier this week on tuesday listen to that one this one is going to be a very high energy also it's going to we're doing a lot of physical comedy yes yes we got a lot of sketches planned out that we're going to act out it's going to be really fun are you saying that this is going to be high energy because last one wasn't because it wasn't sort of that is what i was trying to get at but also i don't want people

to not listen last week i don't want people to know that it wasn't high energy. So what they have to do, they should listen back to see if they could tell that it was low energy. Maybe just listen to the first 10 seconds and you'll probably get the idea. We even skipped the intro, but none of that today. Was that Eeyore taking Sass's podcast spot or is that just Sass himself? Also, people are always on our ass being like, do two episodes a week. Do two episodes a week. Well, this is our chance to do that. And since we're doing that, you need to reward us by listening to both of them.

Exactly. Giving them the requisite numby bounce that they're supposed to get. We're supposed to jack our shit up when we do multiple episodes a week. So listen. I don't know. Engage with us. Yeah. Engage with us.

Maybe you guys try a little harder because we're doing all we can on our end. We're exhausted. We are exhausted. I cried this morning. The entire flight back, I just wept the entire time. The stewardess was like, do you need something? Are you okay? On our flight back today, we were in Buffalo, New York.

So it's a pretty quick flight. It's only like 45 minutes from Buffalo to the big city, the Big Apple. Big Apple is where we are now. And the turbulence is getting a little shaky towards the end there. it's from uh buffalo to this to the big city the big big apples where we are now um and the turbulence is getting a little shaky towards the end there a couple couple sudden drops which i'm not a fan of and i like kind of gasped and like reached and i like my hand my hand landed like on the late the old lady next to me and she was like it's gonna be okay the older black lady that you right she was like it's gonna be all right and i was like hi now thanks and then i just i just buried that all down for the rest of the flight i was like She was like, it's going to be alright. And I was like, oh no, thanks. And then I just buried

that all down for the rest of the flight. I was like, be a man. Yeah, be a fucking man. I'd rather just die in a plane crash than let anything out. Or yeah, than let people know that I was spooked by the turbulence. But once other people start getting spooked around you, it's kind of hard not to get spooked. Because you're like, okay, so

they think the plane's going to crash. Maybe it's going to crash. But also, I didn't actually think it was going to crash. not to get spooked because you're like okay so they think the plane's gonna crash maybe it's gonna crash but also i didn't actually think it was gonna crash i just got spooked because we took a we took a dive my brain hack is always telling myself that it's a boat because i don't get scared on boats like there's turbulence or like bumps chop on boats and i'm just like oh this is like fun and it's like funny and i'm like okay if this is a boat this is just like a boat in the sky i'm just a sky boat when you fly frequently i think the fear goes which we do quickly oh wait no you're saying oh you're saying that you don't yet no like like i i wasn't as scared yesterday or today because i had flown i've flown three days

in a row you really had to shoot that in there she warned that in there i know i had to let people know even fucking jet setting change the instagram bio and put a plane in it i know you should buy coastal um you were in multiple Buffaloes. Actually, every time that we fly, we'll give a turbulence report. How spooked were we? Like, was the turbulence really bumpy? Flight there was very, very smooth.

40 minutes. 40 minutes. Easy. Easy. Wheels up to wheels down. I was getting shit-faced in first class. I was fucking sucking back beers. Yeah, Rome was first class. I was back of the plane.

They stuck me in the bathroom. Yeah. Rome was first class. I was back of the plane. They stuck me in the bathroom. Yeah, Sasko Baron. Rome was actually first class, which was crazy. He came up to me and was like, where are you sitting? I was like, uh, 25F. And he was like, oh, I'm first class? I don't know why I was either. Which is cool, too, because the company books,

Barstool books those flights for us, so they must have, you can clearly tell who they respect more. They've said, you've toiled enough in the back of the plane. Next step is going to be private jets. Next step is going to be PJs. They just slap guys like me and Frank. The son of a boy dad private jet.

Yeah. We'll get there, though. Because on the way out of the airport, dude, the fucking sons of boys dads. I know. Have been fucking everywhere. Rabid fan base. Bro, at the airport, dude, the fucking sons, the sons of boys' dads. I know. Have been fucking everywhere. Rabid fan base. Bro, at the airport. Me and Ron felt like we were like fucking Kim and

Kanye. He would have been Kim. I was Kanye. Obviously. Yeah. I'm the more powerful one. I've got people coming up to us. Yes, I'm the more photogenic one. And you're the mad creative genius. I know. I know. Who definitely suffers from some underlying issues, if you know what I mean.

Deep underlying issues. Psychoses, perhaps. But we were in Buffalo together, which we'll get to. But I think that everybody is here for what we want to talk about in Wyoming. Because when we left off about your whole Wyoming saga, there was a chance that you were going to have to fly out to Wyoming and you would have to roll up your sleeves and work for your keep and have to look after everybody on the ranch in Wyoming

that you were staying at. Yes. And the last we heard from you was, you're not going to fucking do it. You're not going be uh relegated to a role of having to take care of other people you're not gonna be the help for some yeah rich people yeah we're hanging out in wyoming i think there was a big um i think things got a little complicated like i think some people that listen to the pod thought that i meant like i had to go

and like i had to like do my own dishes like i had to like after i finished eating i had to like wipe off my plate and put it in a dishwasher and that would have been beyond the pale no but that's not at all what that's not at all what it was i had to first of all i did do the dishes i did do the dishes and all that shit you were i had to work a five hour shift at somewhere that i don't work to be able to sleep to be able to and yeah to know to sleep to share a bed with one of my friends oh you had to share a bed yes so it would have been a 10-hour shift but it's like uh you guys are gonna go head to toe and great ranch like really wyoming's beautiful like it was it was awesome i got a lot to talk about like it was really fun

but um it definitely seemed like when we got there we weren't as welcomed as you would have expect what do you mean again because you're the help i mean you're uh people were like kind of pissed i think that we were there and like weren't paying and then as soon as we worked it seemed like they all got like their respect up like they were all like hey man oh how was dish how was dish and it's like i'm here visiting my friend i wasn't coming out here to work so weird like why would you why do i don't understand why they cared about that how is dish so that's like uh their that's their lingo they were all like oh you boys are on dish tonight and have they all work them hell yeah they all work but also the the thing is that you'd also

don't realize until you leave there so they all work they But also the thing is that you also don't realize until you leave there. So they all work. They make no money. They basically make like $3 an hour. But they get free room and board. And what a lot of the people that don't know is that the kids that are working there are all like trust fund babies would be an understatement. They're all rich as fuck. Like their parents own Google.

Like Jeff Bezos' kids are out there working on that ranch. They all are from Darien, Connecticut. Really? Yes. It's just the Koch family? A large majority of them are from Darien, Connecticut. It's just the Walton family? They're just heirs to the local Walmarts? Exactly. So I don't understand why rich kids would go to a summer camp

where they have to work like if you're rich it was like a it was like a summer it was like a summer camp it's like a it's not a summer camp it's a ranch it's all year round what is a ranch what's a ranch it's like a like i don't know they have like horses and cows and what do you what do you do all day what do you do they all work they all work all day but why would you if it's like but it's a resort work but it's a resort but they work at it they work at the resort that is on a ranch so basically co-op is it some hippie shit is it like a commune it's like it it feels like a commune i don't think it actually is but it definitely feels like it like my friend bo would have kept on being like well we're all one big family here and i go i would get the chills down my spine every time he said that.

Yeah, so he's the one that lived there and he's an occult. Yeah, and then one of the people asked us, someone came up to us and asked if we would stay the whole summer and keep working. And I was like, I have a job. These dishes are a spick and span, brother. You doing anything for the next rest of your life?

Yeah, and then, yeah. So, I mean, the ranch was fun. We didn't really feel, we weren't, the whole time there was a sense of hostility in the air. I feel like it's very... This reminds me of a show called 40 Days In on A&E where a regular civilian goes into prison and pretends to be a prisoner for a little bit. And on that show, the people that go and clean up the tables get the respect of the rest

of the prisoners. That's a surefire way to get respect early on and that's basically what you did yeah you clean for your respect yeah definitely but the thing is like i think i kind of get why people would have been no one was like directly like mean to us or like nasty to us or anything like that yeah because they're rich they're snarky yeah but i think there was a little bit of passive aggressiveness going around and i kind of get it because i get like they're all there all summer working to stay there and then we show up and we're like just roaming around the ranch me and my three friends were just like my one buddy worked like the entire time we would

hang out with him like at night and so we were just like roaming around the ranch like hanging out in the kitchen and shit so like i get why they would be like annoyed by that but also it's like we were invited here it's not like we just waltzed on in you were invited by someone else who works working there the entire time you were invited to work It's not like we just waltzed on in. You were invited by someone else who's working there the entire time. You were invited to work. You weren't invited there to just pick your feet up. Our last day, the manager of the place came up and asked us if we were going to. They were like, so what's your guys' deal?

Are you guys going to help out at all? And we were like, no. We're like, we're leaving actually. What did he want you to do? Put boobs on a horse? I don't know. Or fucking horseshoes on a horse? I don't know.

So it was weird. It would be different if it was an actual actual ranch where it was like farmers and like these people who like this is their living but it was literally it was like summer camp for like rich kids to play cowboy for the summer basically what were your buddies saying because obviously we were all on the same wavelength and i'm not trying to like shit on it too much because it was like everyone there was really nice there was a little bit of passive aggressiveness. I will say that. Who are the transgressors of the passive aggressiveness? I don't know.

What were their names? I don't know a lot of people's names. The only person. What do they look like? What were they dressed in? Do they have tattoo arms? Do they have cut off sleeves? Vineyard Vines.

Oh, what? Patagonia. Vineyard Vines on the ranch? Yeah. It's Darien, Connecticut kids. And there was one kid named ross that was there he was super cool but a scumbag oh you liked him he was my he was our boy he's the one we kind of hung out with him for most of the time who's someone i

could talk shit on who's someone we could really unleash on i don't really think i know leo was there a girl named leah no i don't have any names of people really i didn't really get to know anyone's names that's probably why they they hated you probably you're probably just surly curled up at the foot of your buddy's bed like his fucking puppy yeah yeah um but yeah it was fun i mean wyoming was beautiful we went on a crazy hike 15 miles 15 yeah really yeah how many cows did you burn how long did it take and how sweaty were you afterwards it took probably like seven or eight hours um it was actually a very nice hike because it wasn't like in new england most of the hikes are like very just like steep incline and then

at the top you get like a really nice view this was like a lot of just walking and then there'd be like an incline and a lot of walking so like it wasn't like too difficult it was just really long what are your what's your role in your friend group uh dominator you're the alpha yeah definitely they all fall in line no and is that because you have money and and uh online clout no no no i definitely don't fall in line any like on the top of your friends yeah are you cracking the jokes oh yeah big time you're the joe cracker big time joe cracker so you keep things light like i i'm just curious like what your friends yeah are you cracking the jokes oh yeah big time you're the joke cracker big time joke cracker so you keep things light like i i'm just curious like what your friends were going through the entire time okay so my friend bo works there so we literally like barely like we only the only day off that he had was monday and that's when we did our hike right so for the entire day

it would be me my friend matt and nate and we would just hang out and like do shit all day and we were all on the same wavelength with like the passive aggressiveness and stuff that they were all being passive aggressive towards you it wasn't even that it was just like i mean we're all like awkward dudes like maybe we were overthinking it but you'd kind of walk around and be like damn like they don't want to see her heavy sense i feel i i i believe you i feel like it kind of felt like it kind of felt like if you ever go to like a summer camp you're like, and it's maybe one where you join halfway through or everyone there knows each other and you kind of just show up and you're just trying to have to fit in.

You kind of have to try and fit in. But they don't want you to fit in. They don't want you there. We already have our thing here. You're kind of fucking this up. Yeah, exactly. It was exactly like that but good time good people um no one was like mean or anything like that like everyone was nice

i think that they're just mean behind your back but they probably destroyed no i did i did i we were saying me and my friend me and my friends nate and matt we were saying i was like i would love to know what people are saying about how it's like it wouldn't even hurt my feelings i just want to know they're probably like this gangly bastard what the hell is who the hell do these kids think they are fucking slender man and also everyone would come up to me and be like so you work at barstool and i was like yeah i'm like oh i've never heard of you or like barstool before and i was like yes you have because if you didn't know that then you wouldn't be coming up to me why did they ask because there's like because it's like they're all like oh i live off the grid i'm better than everyone else that

doesn't do this it's like well first of all most people can't afford to go to a ranch for an entire summer and make three dollars an hour it's actually unless you already are rich as fuck only affluent people are able to work that much under the minimum wage like i get that room and boards paid for but like the reason that like no one there was like poor is because like people who are actually poor like actually have to get a real job and like make real money exactly that's why look at – I was looking at migrant workers with a side eye. It's like, how can you afford to be working at such a low rate? Yeah. You just work your ass off the entire day in a field.

It's like, how do you – No, but you know what I mean. The minimum wage wouldn't be $3 an hour in Wyoming. It's only that because they go to this place. Right. But again, very nice people. Love all of them. I hope they listen. I hope they want

to come to the bar. I just feel bad because I'm not trying to shit on them but I have to because it's for the podcast. Also, I'm not going to lie on my podcast to my listeners. You value the listeners more than anybody. I do. This is my job. And I hope one of them listen. Honestly, it's going to them it's either

they're gonna feel bad because they thought they were really nice to you or it's gonna make them even meaner because they were already that's probably what will happen but the highlight of the trip was that sweet ass hike you went on the hike was awesome that was the highlight definitely the second highlight was the last night that we were at we were there we're like hanging out at this like one place was it a bonfire sort of like that but like i could tell like it wasn't you see how i could just tell that yeah but it was like that kind of vibe like everyone's just like hanging out outside sitting around on crates just out of nowhere everyone leaves everyone except for me nate and beau and these two kids whose siblings work there.

And they're like 16 years old. And then Bo left, and it was just and Ross was there too. Do you want me to tell you what happened there? What? They all were in a text conversation, and they're like, we're going to Jenny's room, and we're about to party there. Yeah, like, fuck these weirdos. I've been in that situation. It's like in high

school when you have the game where you run away from the kid with the overbite or whatever. You run away from the kid whose parents are divorced. Who has an unstable family situation and it's not his fault. You sprint down the hallway away from them and make them feel... They're just trying to fit in. But you can't process that with your 16-year-old brain. So you have to make them feel less than because of how uncomfortable they make you feel.

Yeah. It was that type of situation. Yeah. You were making these people feel so uncomfortable that they had to go do the coke that they had shipped from Connecticut in their room. Yeah. All alone and talk shit on you. So the highlight was me, Nate, Ross, and these two younger kids who didn't work there. And it was just like, it was just guys night.

Like we were just vibing. Shut up. Yeah. And then we went to the kitchen and we just stole a bunch of food. these two younger kids who didn't work there and it was just like it was just guys night like we were just vibing shut up awesome yeah and then we went to the kitchen and we just stole a bunch of food the youngos the young kids were vibing with you oh yeah they were awesome they were great really yeah one of them was a big son of the boy died podcast man let's go probably listen to this salute to the fucking yeah it was a good night it was a good night and then we woke up the next morning head out head home and had to just bail how uh i saw the hike was cool too we saw a moose that's fucking crazy big ass moose so close to us right almost right at the peak of the mountain i know someone who i know a paraplegic who's a paraplegic because of a moose yeah no i was actually very scared we had to walk

like first of all we saw people on the mountain they come up to us and this it's like a dude and a girl the girl has a pistol just like in her waistband and pet and bear spray and she's like oh yeah like this use the people you see on a mountain in wyoming are like literally the friendliest people on the planet hikers generally are pretty friendly like if you see another couple hikers they'll like stop and talk to you for a little bit we talked for like 10 minutes and they were like yeah blah blah and they were like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. And they were like, yeah, we just saw two bull moose, which I'm pretty sure bull moose are like the biggest mooses there are.

Are they? Yeah. That sounds mean. What? I'm saying they sound like a mean animal. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a bull and a moose. Yeah, they were like, yeah, so we just...

Sounds like some Pedro's bullshit. They all talk so slow too. They're like... The mooses? No, the people on the mountain. They're like, yeah, we saw two moose, two bald moose just up there. You're going to want to look out for them. Just be real quiet.

They won't bother you if you don't bother them. And they all that's how they all talk. Really? Yeah. And then we got up there. I was like, I was like kind of thinking like, oh, maybe we'll see them. When he said that originally, I kind of thought maybe there's like a gate or something. And it's just moose up there for some reason.

These are just wild ass moose. And we get up there and they are huge, like 10 feet tall. Moose are terrifying because the way that they attack, they don't charge you. They fall on you. Yeah. They get real close to you, get up next to you, and then they just like slowly fall on you like a billboard. And they'll crush you.

Yeah. It was fucking massive. So we kind of just got up there. We stared at the moose. It was probably like 30 feet away from us yeah so probably just close enough that it couldn't fall on top of you we stared at it for a bit got some pictures of it and then we just kept really quiet and just kept moving along and it didn't just turned away and didn't look at us and just chilled moose are a ton right they weigh a ton right probably 2 000 pounds flat so yeah it doesn't seem like seem like moose are kind of like bees.

If you fuck with them, they'll fuck with you. They don't want to fuck with you. I was very worried about bears and mountain lions. Bears, I'll give you. Mountain lions, I feel like, are not that scary. Mountain lions, I feel like, are glorified cats. Mountain lions will track

you and hunt you. Like, you won't... That's the thing. Like, a bear, you'll see coming. A mountain lion, you don't won't that's the thing like a bear you'll see coming a mountain lion you don't see that shit just out of nowhere you're dead yeah you'll just hear it but how big about and then a slash across your was that a door opening that would be you just see a mountain lobe a lion slowly opening a door yeah so i was that was in the back of my head for most of it. And I think next time I go hiking, you'll bring a pistol.

No, I don't make a pistol. I'm definitely going to get bear spray because everyone we saw had bear spray. And I kind of felt like an idiot. I was like, dude, this is like,

we're seven miles because it's seven miles to the top, seven miles back or 7.5 miles. And I was like, dude, I kind of feel like stupid being out in literally the middle of nowhere. And like, there is clearly like real wildlife here not like this isn't the rinky dink bronx zoo you're not on like the uh like this isn't like safari at disney world where like you can just roll down your window or roll up your window to make sure this is like real like a bear is out here somewhere

and mooses will kill they'll kill you and not bat an eye. Yeah. Imagine the people that try, like we've broken horses. We can ride a horse or whatever. We've house trained dogs and shit like that. Imagine the people that tried to house break a moose. Yeah.

There's definitely someone who tried to ride a moose before and the moose definitely fucking just mangled them. Yeah, there's no chance. And a bear is like, they've got grizzlies in wyoming which are so are the grizzlies the ones you can just no that's a black bear okay a grizzly what do you do with the grizzlies do you make yourself big to a grizzly grizzlies are the ones where you just run just accept it no you you actually i looked it up last night i'm pretty sure what

you're supposed to do is you're supposed to get on your hands and knees and like stomach down and put your hands over your neck, tuck your head in. And then just like, hopefully you have a backpack on because then they'll just like claw at your backpack or something. And then that's all you can do. And usually I'm assuming that works probably maybe one out of a thousand times. Yeah. One guy did that and he didn't die. And the other 999 times you're like ripped into 10,000 pieces. Yeah. people give crazy advice in doomsday scenarios. Someone told me one time that if

you're jumping out of a plane without a parachute, you're supposed to aim for a house because the house will break your fall as opposed to like the ground will just splat you. Like if you rip through the top couple layers of a house floors in your house and just someone sails through it.

And they just get up i was crazy glad i am glad i am for the house just strolls out of your front door someone's gonna pay for this do you have like a phone so i can like call a cab or something oh wait no my phone it's fine myself it's fine yeah yeah luckily i just aim for the house the house broke my fall like a trampoline it was just that simple yeah uh i guess i guess you just wear a backpack and hope for the best yeah but i i think with the bear spray i think when when they get when a bear gets close to around 30 feet from you that's when you're supposed to unleash the bear spray at 30 feet yeah so they're big the the bear sprays that i saw were like this big like it's like bigger than the size of like a tall boy and what does it do it just hurts their eyeballs yes pepper spray basically but i think

it's just much stronger it's a nice bear just a nice mace for the bears yeah that's i mean it's kind of a gnarly thing like humans probably uh Humans probably shouldn't be messing with animals that much. No, no. That's the thing. And it's like... But I like messing with animals, though. There's some people that just have a way with animals. And I'm not one of them.

But I like to think that I'm one of them. I feel like I could pet an alligator on the top of his head and it would be okay. I tried that one time. It almost ripped my arm off. I got bit by a dog this weekend. What? See this bite? It almost ripped my arm off. Yeah. I got bit by a dog this weekend. What? See this bite? It looks like a spider bite.

It's like two very close fangs. It was a dog. Was it a baby? A tiny little dog. A baby dog? Yeah. It was annoying as fuck. I wanted to kick it.

Who were you saving? It hurt so much. Who were you saving from the dog? There was a fight. A fight broke out between two dogs, one bigger and smaller, and I was like was like separated up i was trying to separate it up i was trying to be the hero so you are the alpha in your friend group no i was kind of like by myself do something sass i was kind of by myself when this happened i saw it and i was petting the dogs and then they started fighting i tried to break it up and then the little one just latches onto my hand

and he got in there pretty deep i was bleeding and what did you just whip it you just flung the dog yeah and i picked it up and i threw it as far as i could fuck that dog and i said go to hell ouch this dog just bit me and then i found the owner and i was like we're putting this thing down tonight we have to put this thing down it's has a problem. And I said to everyone, they're like, oh yeah, that's, I don't even know what its name was.

They're like, oh yeah, that's Scooter. He bites. And I was like, well, maybe make him not do that because I'm in pain.

I was bleeding. Yeah. Good luck I didn't get infected. That's going to be a scar. Oh yeah. I wish you had it on a better place. My first, my first dog bite.

Really? I'm a dog lover. I'd never have been bitten by or attacked by one have you been stung by a bee i have many times yeah bees love you dogs have kept their distance until now i feel like getting stung by a bee is a very good way of like judging how like well behaved of a child you were when you're younger what do you mean it's always like bad kids getting stung by bees just doing some dumb shit how like walking on the grass throwing rocks or something throwing rocks at

a beehive yeah like yeah if you get demolished by a bunch of bees like you're you're yeah like you're probably in a quarry or you're like climbing into an abandoned house or something like that when i was younger i was i got i got grounded for two weeks and i had to rake the leaves outside and there was this big tree with berries growing off of it and i took the i took the rake and i had to rake the leaves outside and there was this big tree with berries growing off of it and i took the i took the rake and i was slamming it against the tree because every time i slammed it berries would fall berries would fall you're about to make your own juicy juice or a preservative i loved the sound that it made so i was doing that and then all of a sudden i realized that there was a massive hornet's nest in it fuck like the. Like the size of a basketball. And so how close did you get to... And I am just

smacking this thing. And then all of a sudden, ten wasps are all inside my shirt and I'm running around, screaming for my mom. I was in like second grade. Shut up. Yeah. Dude, I feel like people die like that. I feel like wasps are crazy. Wasps are no joke. Because wasps don't

die after they sting you. People lump in wasps and bees. They just keep going. Wasps are infinitely meaner. Yeah. And they hurt more. Yeah. They're just nasty. I got stung like 15 times.

Fuck those wasps. What did you do to get grounded at eight years old for two weeks? You must have been a badass kid. I think I was jumping over the seats on the bus. Ah, yep. Yeah. You got written up? Yeah. I got sent to the principal's office a couple times. Just for climbing over the seats on the bus uh yeah yeah you got written up yeah i got sent to the principal's office a couple times for just for climbing over the seat it was a reoccurring it was a reoccurring event

couldn't have just been you would like put on a show for the kids on the bus it was awesome oh for the other kids yeah what uh what kind of sliding under the seats like it'd be like synchronized swimming and diving literally slime sliding over they're jumping over sliding under uh uh obstacle courses kind of? Yeah, it was awesome. It was a very fun time. Very fun way to pass the... When you were in high school, did you do like freshman runs on the

bus or anything like that? No, I didn't take the bus in high school. There was something that was called like a freshman run and you have to run to the back of the bus and it was either like people are just like trying to tackle you or just everybody on the bus could punch you. Isn't that how that kid at Penn State died?

I don't think so. It is. He just got freshman run? He got punched on the bus? No, he did a freshman run across the football field and he died. What? He was killed. Dude, Penn State always has a kid die.. And he died. What? Yeah, he was killed.

Dude, there's... Penn State always has a kid die. Yeah, he died, like, on impact. Wait, what? Because he got hit so many times. What? Yeah. I swear to God.

I don't believe you. I swear to God that that happened. But, I mean, you're picking the right institution because Penn State always has someone die. No, it definitely happened. I think that's when, like, they stopped hazing. If they did. At the football field definitely happened i think that's when like they stopped hazing if they did at the football field i know that there's like there's multiple hazing deaths that have happened at penn state since that happened there but i didn't know it was someone running across a football field yeah he was running across the football field and everyone

had to hit him as hard as they could like a gauntlet he was running the gauntlet like charge at him oh like throw the shoulder into the shoulder and then what happened he just got his organ scrambled yeah he I think his brain probably exploded or some shit. That fucking sucks. It's a terrible way to go out. I know. I would just be like, you're just in pain the entire time. Going to college and dying?

Look to your left and look to your right. One of you will be dead by the next four years. And that's really how it is at Penn State. People are just fucking dying, bro. I would never be in a fraternity specifically because of the hazing. Because of how... Yeah, yeah. And that's really how it is at Penn State. People are just fucking dying, bro. I would never be in a fraternity specifically because of the hazing. Because of how... And I don't give a fuck if anyone's like, dude, that's such a pussy, pussy move.

How is it a pussy move? You're a pussy. You're a pussy. How is it a pussy move? I don't know. People like, people like weirdly like enjoy the hazing. They're like, oh, it makes the brothers closer. They say that.

It makes us closer as brothers. It's like, dude, you're not brothers. You know you're not brothers, right? You're going to stop talking two years after college. You're going to start talking one week after this ends. You're going to find like one person that you like and then not talk to any of the other ones. You'll probably go to resent most of the other ones. Except for I have seen dudes going back to their frat houses

in college. I would be at a frat party in college on a homecoming weekend and there'd be some 45-year-old fat bald dude who's like, class of 85. That happens in Always Sunny. Dennis goes back to his frat and he's like,

wow, he's missed this place. And then they just tase him instantly. He's like, I'm a brother this place and then they just tase him instantly he's like i'm a brother here and then they just tase him again like as much as you think you're going to be able to just rev up the camaraderie or just like be back and it'll be how it was when you were there like the people who are young are looking at you like you're the biggest fucking weirdo yeah because you are yeah going back to your fraternity like maybe if you're like a year out of college or something like it's not that weird like i don't know even like with high school i always thought it was so weird when i was in high school and we'd be like leaving school and like the kids that graduated

the year before would be like walking in to like say hi to teachers right just leaning up on the door like yeah i was like dude bleep like why are you here why would you ever want to go back yeah yeah if i tell you about the they're like, damn, you guys are... I miss this place so much. Wait till next year. Yeah, wait till college. I can't even tell you. I can't even start to tell you.

Seriously, though, this is probably harder than college. I don't do any work. I don't do any homework. It's like no more homework in college. Ever trying to recapture the magic is stupid there's no magic that's recapturable that's part of that's how magic works maybe i didn't have like the greatest high school experience but i was like when i got out of that place i was like i'm never coming back here ever why would i ever want to go back to high school trying to recapture the magic

yeah and like go say hi to teachers i didn't like any of my teachers they weren't nice to me no they didn't give me they didn't like me and i didn't like that college recommendation like they didn't they i stayed out of their way they forgot my name and it was fucking like i'm not gonna go back and no one's gonna be able to remember me i had one teacher who i think would probably remember me who was it shout her out nah how hot was she was your spanish teacher she was your spanish teacher i could tell no you had was she your spanish teacher she was your spanish teacher i could tell no you had a smoking ass spanish teacher she spent some time with barcelona teacher was actually fucking insane like crazy hot okay no like super hot like that okay like

mentally unwell really yeah and i was in like the really dumb class so we had a couple of the kids that were in like so she had to take a real despacio for your ass yeah i was in like the really dumb class so we had a couple of the kids that were in like so she had to take a real despacio for your ass yeah I was in like the really stupid Spanish class and a lot of the kids in the class had they were in

fuck what's it called it was like the special group like for like kids with learning disabilities I forget what they called it you're trying to bait me into saying a word that I can't say

I know I'm not gonna say it but it wasn't that it was like you said you didn't ride was like kids with ADD and ADHD. Not that. Not like that. And one of the kids had like really bad anger issues. Like really bad anger issues.

And he like wasn't doing the homework. He wasn't doing any of the work. And the teacher was like. Was this class in a trailer outside the school? No. No. And the teacher was like having a bad day or something because like she told us like my boyfriend broke up with me or something and we were like oh that

sucks we're like all like lo siento senorita yeah uh yeah and then uh the kid is like not doing his homework with anger issues and then she's like can i talk to you outside and they go outside his name was i don't want to say his name no he's never his initials his name was ben and uh and she comes back in and she's and he gets sent to the office he gets sent to the office she comes back and she's like well that's great ben just told me everyone in the class hates me is that true harry does everyone hate me and it was so funny because it's like imagine that you got to be a confident dude to be out there and be like everyone in this class hates you but you think just look her right in the eyes and say that that's crazy you think he's just

saying it even keel like a sociopath oh yeah everyone hates you don't you know like i feel like he was probably having a tantrum in the hallway it was like everyone hates you, don't you know? Like, I feel like he was probably having a tantrum in the hallway. He was like, everyone hates you. This class is stupid. Probably, but also I like to think more of it in like an American psycho type of way. Yeah. Everyone in this class hates you. You know that, right? Yeah.

We're all talking behind your back. I can see why your boyfriend broke up with you. Is this how you are at home? Yeah. Makes sense. I wouldn't want to date you either communication issues huh because i can't understand what you're saying ever either makes a lot of sense maybe you should try learning english maybe that would help you with your little problem with your boyfriend and then uh yeah i got detention in that class once because she was like next person who laughs gets detention that class once because she was like, next person who laughs gets detention.

And I laughed. And she was like, detention. I was like, what kind of fucking sick thing is that? Next person who laughs gets detention? Yeah, you can't really control that. Yeah. Next person who hiccups gets detention. I think that...

You gotta have better control over your class if everyone's laughing so crazy. This teacher sounds like an idiot. She was really bad. She was not a smart person either. She would like bring my grade. One time I checked, one time I checked like our portal where we check our grades and I had like a 300% in the class and I was like, fine by me. And then I check it again, like 10 minutes later and I have like a 1% and like, and it's

like grades are coming out in a week and I go to, I go to talk to her and I'm like, Hey, like I have a 1% in the class. She's like, I don't know. She's like, I don't do, i don't talk about grades during the day and i was like they all like teachers just like make up rules like your job is to talk about grades yeah like i i need to know whether i'm failing this class miserably or if i have three times as good of a score as i need in this class that was always the biggest thing was like why is why am i grade why do i have a 150 of the class and then they would just be like she would like somehow take

it personally and get angry at you they she was she was gaslighting us she sounds like uh an emotionally stunted woman yeah the fact that she was telling you that her like her relationship issues in class like when when would that ever be appropriate for a teacher to talk about? I think I was in ninth grade, too. Or no, I was in tenth grade. I was definitely in tenth grade. The kids that were in my class were funny guys, though, too. So it was like we probably pushed her over to the edge a good bit. Hey, my sister called me a cunt in an argument on the phone yesterday.

I'm going to be a little bit moody today in Spanish class. Why would you ever bring up something that personally happened to you in your life? It was always my Spanish teachers that were bad have we talked i think we've talked about this before when i when the teacher would make me uh i wouldn't peanut butter off her pussy no i wouldn't i wouldn't know what like we would be like going over the homework and we'd have to translate a sentence i wouldn't know any of the words and she'd make me go get like the glossary and uh you have to look it up i have to look up every single word in the sentence and it would take like 15 minutes and the whole class would just sit in silence as

i looked through how did you not uh know any words though because i was bad at spanish and she's a bad teacher took spanish for well actually i took spanish probably for like seven years but i took it for two years in high school and then i dropped it and everyone was like dude you're not going to get into any colleges if you don't take four years of a language which is just not true i didn't have a problem with any of that yeah nobody needs to learn how to speak spanish for like the job for like the job there's like plenty of people who speak spanish there's way too many people who are good it's like a weird requirement for college some colleges look for like three and i'm like dude the colleges that i'm going to be applying to you barely even have to show up to school. They're going to encourage me to drop out.

Yeah. Yeah. Fulfill an internet position. Yeah. I remember when I went to my guidance counselor and told her the schools that I wanted to go to. And she was like, I think we need to broaden our horizon a little bit here.

What schools did you say? I think we need to expand our options. Cause we're, uh, not that smart. You're really dumb. We, between the two of us we're not that dumb and uh i'm a genius so you figure out the rest yeah yeah if you can stuff like that can

be great for your mental health i didn't care well if you do care about your mental health i got into alabama and i was like once i got in there which i didn't want to go there but i was like all right at least i'm going to some school. Wait, why'd you apply to Alabama? Because then you find out if you get in like within like an hour, I think. You just wanted to know if you had an option. They send you your acceptance letter. Very fast. Put your name. The requirement is a 2.0 GPA. That's so fire. And also I was like, Alabama looks fun. It is fun. Yeah. It's really fun.

It's like elite level of fun. So I was like, I'll go there. I probably would be on a completely different path in life right now if I was there though. Yeah, you would. I would be an alcoholic. Yeah. You'd have like a bowl cut. You'd be wearing like a striped red shirt tucked into khakis every single day of your life.

You definitely would be gaslighting a girlfriend, but she would be toxic towards you because you'll be in the fraternity system at Alabama, part of the machine. No doubt in my mind. Let's talk about BetterHelp. All right. You can lead us off. Let's talk about BetterHelp. Yeah.

Let's talk about BetterHelp. Perfect. No, that was me leading us off. Oh, okay. Let's talk about BetterHelp. Perfect. No, that was me leading us off. Oh, okay.

BetterHelp is a way for you to take your mental health into your own hands. And it's something that everybody deals with. Everybody goes through mental health stuff, whether it's SAS on last week's program being a little bit down. You're allowed to be down. Sometimes people are down. Unless you're hosting a podcast. No, even then, you are allowed to be down sometimes people are down and unless you're hosting a podcast no even then you're allowed to be down okay you were you were completely within your rights to be down and that's why dude i i feel like i i held your hand the entire time you're like i'm down in the dumps i'm sitting in the fucking sludge river and i was like i'm gonna sit there right next to you in the sludge river and that's what the good folks at better

help will do they'll uh they'll just sit down with you they'll talk to you in the sludge river and that's what the good folks at better help will do they'll uh they'll just sit down with you they'll talk to you and they know that life is full of stressors and it doesn't matter who you are what you have going on it's just something that can be stressful we've all gone through it and you might not be feeling like outright down and depressed but you might be feeling like you're at a loss. You might just have high stress. You might have a short temper. There's a lot of different things that could be playing into your mental health, your relationships. And what you need is someone to talk to, someone that you could talk it out with, someone that's unbiased about your life, someone who's not going to judge you,

who's not going to take sides on anything. And BetterHelp is the best solution to be able to do something like that. So basically, BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera, even if you don't want to. Even if you don't want to. It's much more affordable. Even if you don't want to. Even if you don't want to. It's much more affordable.

Even if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback. You'd be pretty surprised at what you might gain from it. See if it's for you. That's right. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. And son of a boy dad listeners get 10% off their first month.

Yes. Wow. 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash son. And they weren't going to do this. They weren't going to give the 10% off. But we begged them for it. We went into the BetterHelp offices and I said, you better help us out and fucking

give us that 10% off. And sure enough, they did. Yeah. But, you know help us out and fucking give us that 10% off. And sure enough, they did. But take care of yourself. We're a podcast that talks about getting in great shape and getting shredded, getting yoked, getting our bodies in good shape. But why not get your mind in good shape? Why wait for something to be in such a dire circumstance when you're desperate for help?

And why not just hop into it right now get some help right now yeah with our good friends over at better help of course fuck yes fuck yes it's a great way to get fucking mentally yoked yeah mentally yoked is just as important as physical i've been doing two different things to get physically yoked recently really i got fat shamed yesterday pretty hard on my instagram post what do you mean a lot of people calling me fat what do you mean i posted a picture with calling me fat. What do you mean? I posted a picture with my friends at the lake and we had our shirts off and all the comments were like, damn, sass is fat. Well, your friends couldn't be more.

They were like, damn, sass is fat as fuck. It looked like a four pack of Twinkies. It was fucking nice. All three of your friends are just lean, real lean skinny boys. I know, right? I'm not. I'm a thick boy. But no, you are.

You are like a lean skinny boy, but they're like emaciated. No, I'm not lean, but I'm definitely, uh, I'm jacked. No, you're lean. I mean, sorry, my muscles are bigger than theirs, and then everyone's here to call me fat. Shit's not fair, bro. They don't understand that it's the fucking dawn of bulking season. I know. We're on the precipice of bulking season.

I was like, have fun. Have fun being not jacked when I'm jacked. What I noticed was that your nipple was just missing. Yeah, everyone said that. It was just my arm was covering it. No, you blurred out your nipple

because you got enough hard times about it. I could, because I zoomed in. I super zoomed in on it. And you could tell the pixelation. It's like how you can see on a girl's...

I don't look fat in that. Right? I don't. I mean that. Right? I don't. I mean, where I'm looking, if I had to circle your problem areas like Dr. Miami, I'm looking at the love handle area. I'm looking at right about your hindquarters. And it's like the beer price in New York must be pretty good because on your budget you're able to pack on. But that's nothing that you can't just lick with something. My arms look fucking jacked.

It is Fat Arm Friday for you. Fat arms? No, like steel. Fat arms. It's pure steel. Fat arms is a good thing. That means you look jacked. You got fat arms. You have a lot of muscle mass in your arms. There's some milk bag qualities to the mid the midsection but it's

really just you could tell more because the ridiculous all your friends have lower abs like not only do they have a little line and they're all like i don't even know they're all still 18 years old so metabolism hasn't changed from the they're like they're getting incredible sleep they're hiking fucking insane amounts they're not fucking tethered to a computer like you are i'm just working in the city they get sunlight they probably start doing steroids sun their perineum they probably sun their assholes or their balls you think you are going to do some steroids after that after i just got fat shamed on my podcast and you know you know that that steroids are just going to make you also fat.

No. Yeah, they are. You're mistaken. Unless you do steroids forever, which you can't, they're going to eventually make you fat. Nah. I'll get the right ones. You're not taking the right ones. I just need a little bit of extra testosterone.

I don't think you do. I do. Look at your chin beard. Come on, bro. It's thick beard come on bro yes it is thick forgot to shave my bad whoopsies whoops just for forget to shave for one hour the five o'clock shadow is really coming in heavy dude that's not even like a big stomach. It's just thick. I thought that was your back. Honestly, I have wide hips. Very wide. This is Chris. I'm not to walk out of the podcast.

Why? Because we're calling it like it is. Show's over. Sorry, I'm trying to fucking keep it a buck with you that you have wide hips. You're like Corey Gamble. You know who Corey Gamble is? No. It's Chris Jenner's wife.

Chris Jenner's husband. And this dude has the fucking widest hips of any celeb that I've ever seen in my life. Let me see him. Corey Gamble hips. Well, I'm never taking my shirt off again, that's for sure. Gonna get surgery. I'm gonna get liposuction suck the hips out of me

what look how wide this is Kim Kardashian's stepdad he's got wide hips I don't have wide hips I just have wide am I crazy that he just said

I have wide hips but he's got like yeah he could birth a child and not notice yeah he could be on a stroll one day and a shit could just drop out of him and he wouldn't have to like open his butthole at all his hips were just that wide set no he's just a wide set gentleman but i've been doing two different things to get into better shape recently one i've been going to like a fucking fitness class with like all women and uh it's like one of the classes where they like turn off the lights and there's like an instructor they just like you the instructor comes around and touches you dude this dude's like ladies

and they all go crazy when he comes in mark the dude was touching me so much really i swear to god he was like because that's how they get away with it. He was like aligning my hips too. He was just like coming up behind me. Didn't touch any of the women. Oh, he definitely was. You just didn't see. No, he was aligning my hips. I was the only dude in the class and he was coming

up behind me and he's like, what you want to do right here is just... Because they've all probably fucked him already. So he's moving on. You're his next prey. I don't think that he wanted to fuck them. He just wanted to fuck you. This dude was gay. Yeah? This dude was

a card-carrying homosexual. He wanted to fuck you. My other thing that I've been doing to get in better shape is I've been going to a place where they stretch me. And the dudes who work there also card carrying homosexuals. They'll stretch the fuck out of me.

It's fucking, it feels great afterwards. But like I need that. I need both of those things. Is it a happy ending massage? No, it's a happy ending stretch. That'd be so sick. Alright, we're just gonna make you nut by stretching your penis. Alright, you're all stretched out. Now we're just gonna make you nut by stretching your penis all right you're all

stretched out now we're just gonna suck you off and then you'll be out and you'll be good to go we'll be uh you'll be good to go just a couple more minutes oh no no i'm fine i don't need to get sucked off well you're gonna you're gonna be sucked off no it's part of the package you paid the 48 for the 25 minutes imagine you're like no i'm really okay i don't need to get sucked i'm like look man i'm just trying to do my job you do what you got to do i just need to do my job stop because i actually have gone to physical therapy school for three years so no i have to suck you off right do you want to tell me how to do my job or can i just suck you off and i don't walk into your place of work and tell you what to do, what you can and cannot do.

So I'm going to suck you off. And there really are like, since it's a stretching thing, there's like a strap that goes across your belt. Yeah. So it's like the guy would just like keep you strapped in. He won't unstrap you till he gets to suck you off. He's not going to release you. Get the sneeze out. Ooh.

You know, that's one 88th of an orgasm right there. Really? Get it. It's makeup facts, bro. Can't trust. Ooh. You're about to be 1 44th of the way there. Yep.

1 44th of the way there. You're flying towards orgasm. If I have one, I'm going to do it. This could be like, we might have to end the show. What? If you get on his sneeze. Sometimes he just goes on for a while. I love that. I hate it.

Do you hate it because you think it annoys other people? No, I hate it because it annoys me. Sneezing does? No, because I'll have like 12. That's like more than an eighth. That's like a seventh of an orgasm. 12 sneezes in a row? Come on, bro.

Get one out. It hurts. Come on. No, I'm sucking it back in swallow be a man be a man don't sneeze be a man a fucking a fat stranger construction worker god bless me today when i sneezed on the street he didn't have to do that and he went out of his way to do that that's nice i have so much you look like you're about to fucking die right now i have to sneeze just let it out i can't it'll come when it needs to how have your it's that was like a sun shower that was like your nose is clogged your eyes are tearing up your throat sounds terrible i have an aggressive sneezer fucking allergies descend on you like a plague i believe you bro honestly I believe you, bro.

Honestly, I believe you. Even so, I'm not getting worked up. I'm checked out on getting worked up about COVID. We're anti-mask and vax. Get this sneeze out so we can have a fucking conversation. Blow your nose or something like that. People are going to be in the comments like, dude, Sass needs to fucking control those sneezes.

This is his fucking job. You're just yawning and sneezing the whole time? Get a fucking anti-histamine if you're going to podcast today. Take your job seriously one time. You're 20 years old now. You're a grown-up. Alright, I think it might be gone. Yeah, so I actually sucked the vaccine

out of my arm. Once I found out that the liberals are fucking making this a whole big thing sucked that shit right out like right away or you waited for it i poked a hole in my vein and i was just sucking until i felt it come out like a capri sun and then i spit it out there was a bunch of microchips in my what is this? In my sink. You start chewing on the blood that you sucked out.

Wait a second. They all have Facebook logos on them. There's fucking shrimp in my fucking blood. There's shrimp in my crunch.

My Captain Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Try it again. There's shrimp in my in my Cheerios. That would have played played that would have crushed that dude yeah personally yeah yeah very well why do you have some slick shit to say yeah i just

like that was dumb as fuck oh really it sounds like someone wishes that whole shrimp thing got a hundred thousand twitter followers in a day i know i do you're stewing jealous how didn't i think of this i heard that you walked into your writer's room and fucking flipped the table over. You were so pissed. I tried to post one with just a gun and a Captain Crunch. Shout out to Erica. Erica's getting out of here. CEO.

Peace out to E. Yo, see ya, E. I mean something different when I say my tank is on E. Oh, yeah. That means full to me. Shit. Yeah, bro. Shit means full to me. Shit. Yeah, bro. Shit. All right.

Should we talk about Buffalo? Dude, the fact that you were in the studio with Benny the Butcher rapping, and you had never rapped before, and he's maybe the best rapper on the planet. If not, he's really, really up there as being one of the best rappers on the planet. Was one of the best things ever. But you're a natural because you know how to ad-lib. You know how to throw a little stank at the end. Like, shit.

Or like, sass. Well, I just did that because that's what he did. He did butcher. So I did sass at the end of my verse. But you can't even hear it. It got cut off. No, we'll be able to boost it up. Do you have the full song or no?

Well, we can't play it on this anyway. It's not mixed and mastered yet. But did you know who that was when you walked into that scenario? Benny the Butcher? Yeah. Had you ever heard of him? No, I looked him up beforehand though. And what did you find out?

Like he's big. How big? Like what did you find out? Tell me some things that you learned about him. When you looked looked online what were the things that your search yielded his net worth i honestly looked up what his net worth was first to decide how much i cared about him uh do you believe do you believe the net worth sites no i was just curious i was like how much money is this guy gonna be but not that's not real though representing himself with that's not but those aren't real those aren't real things though my net worth is supposedly is a million dollars it was that was that thing real the uh

the thing that you were talking about that your net worth thing that you posted no but that thing was so fucking funny because all the all of like the works cited shit is just my tweets it was like in recent in recent twitter in recent tweet little sasquatch says that he had his net worth is four hundred thousand dollars so that was a real article that you're saying yeah so there's actually people who are reading your tweets and entering the information onto a net worth website yeah and it says i get paid him now and they're like and after after a hardcore deal with barstool sports he's now getting paid one million dollars a year that's so fucking crazy they're like they were like it's safe to assume that lil they just said as it was your first name safe to assume that lil lives

quite a luxurious lifestyle tell us one thing about your your kitchen i have one thing about it i have three roommates and I have a tiny apartment. In a neighborhood that you do not like. In a neighborhood that you don't find desirable to be living in. So funny that someone read that and was like, this is probably true. I think that has to be because so many people search other people's net worths. That it must be worth something to be able to just plug in to do. It's a fun thing to do.

But it's never right. It's impossible to... How? What do you mean sometimes? How would you ever know that? Well, it's always the estimated. Estimated. But how would you know if that's even close?

Nobody knows what anybody else has. Don't know. I don't know. Why are you yelling at me? Because there's... Bro, I'm trying to be optimistic. And you're bringing your pessimistic vibes into here. You're right. Why don't you take 10? Why don't you take 10 why don't you take 10 should we go piss should we go get better should we go download better help yeah download me better help and fucking well i already have it downloaded

obviously i said download it for me bro i need to fucking download it for me i'm fucking pissed off you're all the way worked up right now bro are you about to go back to boston this weekend i'm going to i'm not going to Boston. I'm going to Massachusetts. What's the difference? I live 45 minutes away from Boston. It's basically the same thing. No.

What's different about your town? Do you root for the Patriots? No. That would be like if you were going to Buffalo. You're going back to New York City this weekend? No. I'm not going to Boston this weekend. But there's parts of...

Are you taking the train to Boston? What?, I'm not going to Boston this weekend. But there's parts of... What? Are you taking the train to Boston? Where are you getting off the train? Probably either Providence or West Route 128. So you live closer to Rhode Island than you do to Boston? Providence is like an hour away from where I live. I would have just lied about that one, bro. Yikes.

Dude, you literally don't. Don't even fucking start. Because I'll vocal fry the shit out of you, bro. But yeah, so we recorded this shit with, we recorded this song with Pardon My Take and Benny the Butcher. Benny the Butcher. And it was so fun. It was actually like one of the more fun things I've done in a while.

And Big Cat was so nervous and it was hilarious.. It was actually like one of the more fun things I've done in a while and Big Cat was so nervous and it was hilarious. You could tell he was like geeking out. Yeah, he was definitely very nervous. He was just like sitting by himself.

But he did great. Yeah, and he had to have Rowan sing along with him into the mic to like make sure that like he was on pace. But him and PFT just like completely

changed their voices for it. And at like the last second too, like as the song was about to start, PFT was like'm gonna do it like this yeah and it turned out sounded good but it was just uh it's just such a weird environment it's just such a different environment the whole time i was like sass you're gonna like practice like are you gonna like practice your rapping voice like you're gonna just like say a couple words so you know what it sounds like rapping and to be honest there was a long period where you were rapping it a certain words so you know what it sounds like rapping. And to be honest, there was a long period where you were rapping it a certain way

and you thought that you were rapping it onto a microphone and that it was being recorded. Oh, yeah, it wasn't. And it wasn't being recorded at all. Probably for the best. And it's for the best because after that, you completely changed the way that you were kind of rapping. The first one was, I sounded like Jerry Seinfeld.

Literally. I get so much money yeah that i like to fuck underage girls definitely a humbling experience hearing yourself sing very humbling or hearing yourself rap or just like sounding cool because i was like i don't think my voice is bad that bad like i think i probably pull this off but then i heard it and like my voice is definitely the worst one on the track it's just because of a lack of experience no it definitely is because my voice i have like a little boy's voice but you don't always have a little boy's voice i almost sometimes

i notice this and i'd like to ask you about it do you ever make your voice deeper on purpose no no i don't i don't ever do that i've never once done that if you're talking to like somebody at a desk or something like that do you make it deeper on purpose no no it just happens like that i guess because uh i've noticed that i don't think you have a little boy's voice i do and uh i do well that's just how it sounds i don't know i think that's just a deeper octave though i don't think it's that little boyish do you think your voice is still changing probably you think you'll ever have a full beard no no i would like to i really would like to i want to grow a beard bad but i can't i tried this is like this is this is all it gets but it's at least a little bit and then it just gets like more gross progressively like it doesn't

get like thicker or longer it just gets like grosser but you have some action on your chin though i feel like that's like a that's a manly thing to have i have nothing here though do it should we talk about af or OnlyFans first? Let's just steer clear of the Afghanistan stuff. But I've heard that men in Afghanistan have such thick beards because their testosterone is so high. I heard that they have to have beards, don't they? But I'm saying that not men in Afghanistan. I heard the people in the Taliban, they're required to have beards to be in it.

Because they think it's super swaggy. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really understand what's going on with all the promo for the Taliban on Twitter. They're trying to humanize them more. I think that they just boosted their... They're in a tweet deck group. And they're all just trying to boost their accounts. It's so weird.

There was one... There was the bumper cars one. There was the gym video. And now there was... Yesterday, there was one of them. A selfie of them all eating ice cream. it was like i can't like defend i can't really say anything mean because like obviously i made a joke about the afghanistan shit like with addison ray but yes which actually backfired terribly because uh because she did actually post she had

said something about it she kind of the joke wasn't about afghanistan though the joke was more like it's funny how people think that they need to like have speak up against every single thing that's happening in the world it's like addison ray posting something about afghanistan is not going to change what's going on in afghanistan in any way at all yes it's like she's just doing that so she doesn't get called out for not posting about it and the funniest thing you could do with the joke is explain it well no people understood the joke. I'm just saying to you. I get it. I understood it completely. Yeah.

But yeah, everyone's like posting about like the Taliban shit and they're like, everyone's acting like, oh, it's so funny and stuff. It's like, well, it's not going to be as funny when they start like skinning humans and stuff. Like we were talking about this yesterday. Yes. It's going to be videos of it everywhere. You're going to be scrolling Twitter. It's going to be just like babies dying.

Maybe. They will. It's going to happen. Maybe. It's not a good situation. yes there's gonna be videos of it everywhere you're gonna be scrolling Twitter and it's gonna be just like babies dying maybe there will it's gonna happen maybe it's not a good situation okay I'm taking your word for it you we had a conversation

about this yesterday I'm just trying to and you said the exact same thing I said that live leak is about to have a resurgence yeah

exactly it's gonna be a great time for kids who are trying who have internet access for the first time in their life and they've lived a sheltered life so far and they want to see what else is going on in the world they're going to see some things and their perspective is going to be changed yeah it's going to be a formative time for those people yeah and that's what i'll say about this situation in afghanistan and also i think it's

weird that they're not banning the taliban from twitter like they did twitter came out was like taliban's not getting banned from twitter it's weird that they're not banning the Taliban from Twitter. Like they did. Twitter came out was like Taliban's not going to ban from Twitter. It's like they're legitimately a terrorist organization. And they're going to ban Rome, though. Seriously. Ban Rome. But they're not going to ban the Taliban. At least give the Taliban 24 hours.

They're going to ban our president. El Prescott. Porto got banned. No, bro. 45. That's not my president. They're going to ban 45, but they're not going to ban the. 45. That's not my president. They're going to ban 45 but they're not going to ban

the fucking Taliban? That's bullshit. It is kind of actually funny, though, that they did ban Trump but they're not banning the Taliban. They're going to ban Geordie Barstool's

original account and not the Taliban? Like, the most random people have gotten banned on Twitter for, like, the stupidest shit. Yeah. They're going to ban my favorite mock draft guy for posting a Kansas City Chiefs clip,

but not the Taliban. So weird, dude. It's fucking bullshit. Twitter's so strange. Like people try so hard to be like, I know people are like very anti-America and they try so hard to be like anti-American and they're like, they're like, I've seen people on Twitter who have been like pro Taliban. They're like, well, the United States was the terrorists over there before the Taliban.

And it's like, I get Afghanistan didn't want the United States there. It makes sense, but at the same time, it's like, I don't think they probably would have preferred the American army there instead of the Taliban. Well, it depends on which Afghanis you're talking about. Because if you're talking about the Taliban adjacent Afghanis,

they probably wanted the Taliban in there. But I know what you're talking about as far as people taking jokes too seriously. Talking about the Taliban adjacent Afghanis, they probably wanted the Taliban in there. But I know what you're talking about as far as people taking jokes too seriously. I was on Lower in the Bar the other day, and they were like, what reminds you of America? And I was like, starting wars we can't finish, like a crippling deficit. And everyone was like, Rome's got insufferable. I was joking, but I'm not going to tell you that. I'm just going to think it real quietly to myself. But I started

following a TikTok recently called Pakistan is Beautiful. And bro, Pakistan is beautiful. Yeah, it's not surprising. It is. And this account has like half a million followers. There's a lot of people who are just enjoying the as a guy who likes to hike.

Well, you got to go to Pakistan. Yeah, I would. You should go out there. You should just go out there and hike. Why not? Like completely revamp. Like, let's forget all the religion stuff out there. Let's forget all the years of war. Let's just go on a hike and get in touch with nature. I know. I know. I'm a big hiker. Hiking hiking makes me feel really good do you think that there's moose in uh afghanistan no probably not no just i don't think so i think it's probably more sheep goat type uh yeah definitely hooved hooved mountain animals yeah i don't think there's any uh do you think that they the goats out there speak afghani do you think that they think in afghani or do you think that they think in uh or is that even a language? I don't know at all to be honest. You don't know how goats think?

No, I don't know how goats think and I definitely don't know how I don't know if Afghani is a language. I don't think it is. What, Farsi or some shit like that maybe? I don't know. No respect, bro. You have no respect. But then

let's talk about OnlyFans then. I thought we were going to talk about... Oh, yeah. OnlyFans. What did you think we were going to talk about? Buffalo. What we always talked about? Yeah, let's talk about Buffalo.

I don't give a fuck. We can talk about Buffalo too. No, no, no. There's not much to talk about. Basically, we have a song coming out. It's going to be sick. It's going to be fun. Benny the Butcher, part of my take.

That's funny that part of my take hasn't had us on their podcast though. No, I know You'd think that If they're gonna lean on us For our rapping acumen And thematically The jokes that we've cultivated On this show

Well if they have Benny on the show We should go on the show with him Right But we should also kind of have Our own Our own little thing You know what I mean On their show

Maybe like a segment That they name after us. Maybe we could sponsor a segment for them. Should we try? For the little bros. Yeah, I'll throw some money for a sponsor. Yeah, just give them a little cash. Just put a little cash in their pockets.

Just a little bit. Oh, I mean, we're just doing these big favors for them. You know what I mean? My back is still a little bit itchy. I'd like my back to be scratched as well. I scratch their back, they're not going to scratch my back. Yeah. That's kind of fucked up and it's kind of bullshit.

Did you have some buffalo wings while you were in Buffalo? I had one. How was it? It was stale. I had one at the studio last night. Shut up. Is this Stewie? I had one at the stew.

How was the stew compared to what you thought it would be? I'm slumped. We were at the stew all night. Seriously, bro, you were fucking blunted. We didn't get out of there until late. Late, late, bro. And when we left, there were still people in there.

People were piling in when we left. The party just started. I can't believe how often they play this song all over and over again. It makes sense. Imagine you're in the studio with Drake and he just he just makes an absolute heater and everyone wants to they're probably just bumping that all night but also think of the pressure of the other people who are in the studio with drake to like dance to every song like no one in there is like yo dude this sucks right exactly they're like uh they're like damn dra, you did it again. Back to back.

They're like Kim Jong-un's caddy. Yeah, exactly. They're like, oh, another hole in one, sir. Yeah, yeah. Our fearless leaders. You don't miss. From 400 yards. Unbelievably done. Yeah.

It must be good times. But yeah, the pressure to laugh or the pressure to feel inspired when you're around Diddy or some shit. Pete Davidson was on some, this was before he was on SNL, I think. He was on The Breakfast Club. It probably wasn't

before he was on SNL then. I think this was probably before he dated Ariana Grande. That makes sense. Because that's his real claim to fame well kind of yeah let's reduce men to the women they've been like i take their accomplishments completely out of the situation and then he like became really really now he's like an alice celebrity right um can't go outside no that's what he says yeah but yeah he was on uh he was on the breakfast club and he was talking about how like his friends with kevin hart or something and they were like do you

ever hang out with kevin hart and he was like no i don't really like being a part of like his little plastic men crew it's just funny what do you mean plastic men crew like they all just gotta stand around him and like laugh at everything he says probably right yeah i guess it makes it but i saw didn't you see the video a couple weeks ago of his bodyguard like almost drowning him while they were horse playing in the pool no like he like kept on bringing him up and then dunking him under and bringing him up and then dunking him under and like kevin was like screaming like someone had to like separate them kevin hart like almost got killed killed he probably was trying to kill him because he played after he's probably like whoa i didn't know because there's other footage of kevin

hart being on the plane like absolutely destroying the bodyguard in like front of everybody they're like filming it and they're playing cards and he's just like what would you have without me like who are you like what have you ever accomplished in your life completely like the unspoken power dynamic between them where it's obvious that kevin hart's paying for everything and they're on his private jet he just lays it all out. And the bodyguard tries to kill him. And later on, I mean,

I think it was like probably a year apart, but like the bodyguard was like fake dunking him under. He was still thinking about that shit. A hundred percent. This guy's like a boxer. Yeah. He's like a hardened dude.

Like there's no chance that he wasn't thinking about that. And he's just waiting for an opportunity to make the death look like an accident. Yeah. Cutting the brakes on his go-kart at Disney World

or some shit like that. Like, he's just fucking trying to find something to make it awful. But I think that Kevin Hart at least employs, like,

he has a new show on like Amazon Prime or something where all the guys who he is always flying around with, like, they're part of the show

or something like that. Like, I think he's at least trying to give them money. He's trying to put them on? I think that he's one of the more benevolent guys with his plastic men. I think some people just have the plastic men around them and those guys don't get paid anything.

Didn't you say the Drake ones make like 5k a month or something? Uh, or the, the guy, Quentin Miller said that he made $5,000 a month just, uh, slaving away, writing,

writing songs. Um, kind of off topic, but, uh, let's go off topic songs kind of off topic let's go off topic then kind of off topic in Wyoming I rode a horse that's fire I love riding horses

it was my first time riding a horse terrifying but it was so fun why was it scary trotting is horrifying and also my balls would just smack against the fucking seat every single time because you're just bouncing and my balls are just landing first and then i'm landing on top of them every single time we would trot damn it hurts so were you wearing just boxers yeah not

boxer briefs no yeah you need something to hold your nutties together yeah it hurt and also jangling around like pool balls my horse was crazy his name was homer and like later on when we were finishing the girl that was like leading the thing was like yeah like all the horses hate homer he has no friends and i was like damn because she was like oh that horse is about to kick homer she's like oh homer is about to get kicked and i'm like and she and i was like what and she was like yeah like that horse's ears are pinned back which means he's about to kick homer and then she just like rides off and i was like so am i supposed to like do anything about that or am i just supposed to like what if the horse like i'm not trying to get it sprinted away or something like that what

would have happened like i would have gotten thrown off what the fuck yeah and she's like oh let me get the fuck out of here so i don't get thrown off my horse so we're riding and basically it started out pretty flat and then we go up to this hill and we're literally on like a like a cliff like very very steep very very narrow and i was like damn this is really scary but like you kind of got to trust the horse yeah the horse the horse doesn't want to fall yeah exactly so you're like they're looking around yeah so you're like okay like i'm like you're scared but you're like i'm just gonna trust the horse like the horse the horse doesn't want to fall yeah exactly so you're like they're looking around yeah so you're like okay like i'm like you're scared but you're like i'm just gonna trust the horse like it's only like two minutes up this big steep hill and my friend's beau his mom and his aunt were there and his mom was like really good at riding horses like she did it when

she was younger and his aunt like never been a horse before and she was way in the back like her horse was very slow and big and like wasn't going fast so she's like behind all of us by a good bit and we all get up to like the top of this like really steep hill and we're like all standing there and we're like waiting for this for his aunt and we're like oh shit like where is she and then we just like a scream and then we see like i wish i wish you could have seen what i saw we're standing there all looking back for her like waiting for her to turn this corner on this like so steep so narrow path like just a drop off because it's like we're on we're on a mountain in wyoming yeah and the horse just turns the corner with nobody on it shut up yeah shut the fuck up yeah she got bucked no dude she got off the horse

and she just said no i'm not doing it she was like i'm not going up that isn't that weird like that was that was the craziest thing i've ever seen in my life that's way crazier yeah way crazier than the horse bucking her what a fucking nut i know it was crazy also just to be a grown woman and do that and her child's having in her defense she was like i don't want to go up any steep hills and i don't want to go fast and then we like all of a sudden we're running and then the next thing you know we're going up a fucking the side of a cliff and she just dismounted the horse under her own powers on like on the side of the thing and we just see the horse turn the corner by itself and i was like oh my god she's dead yeah no i

didn't think that i was just like laughing i was like this is crazy so what did you do seeing the horse turn the corner with no one on it was like one of the funniest things just the horse is just like shrugging like i don't know about it yeah what do you want me to do yeah yeah and uh and then like the person that was leading the trip goes over and she just starts wailing on the horse like whipping it i guess to get it to stay still it was nuts dude people beat the shit out of horses huh oh my god and there was this one girl who was a guest at the ranch like she was paying to stay there who was on the trip and dude rue almost like basically

ruined the horse thing for me because so basically all that happens and then we're just going on like easy ground and this girl's like behind me she's not a girl she's like oh she was probably like 30 like she's a woman and um respectful yeah and she's behind me and the entire time she's like it's all it's it's like sunset and it's like nice it's peaceful we're in wyoming it's nice and breezy and warm out it's like if you're no one's talking we're just riding our horses they're enjoying nature yeah we're riding our horses and she's just behind me and she's talking the entire time but like to her horse and it was like oh my god like the horse would stop to eat and she'd be like really really we're doing this right now right now you have to eat she would give sass to her horse yeah like like they were like best friends and i was like oh my god what the fuck so was she was she well now well now easy girl easy girl really we're really

gonna eat right now no no no no no we're not eating now we're not eating now and i was like i'm gonna kill myself i'm gonna take my horse i'm gonna send it off a cliff are we really shitting right now like that's literally what she was doing why uh was she a horse girl do you know what i mean yeah she was a definition horse girl that's yeah yeah i mean you can't even argue with crazy that's what and that's what horse girls are yeah she was they're fucking crazy and though it was dude this like it wouldn't be annoying it feels like once or twice but this was the entire time and i should have just hit her with uh excuse me ma'am would you mind uh shutting the fuck up yeah it was so annoying would you mind shutting that fucking mouth of yours maybe we could put a bridle in your mouth and uh i'm trying to think of like other examples of like

what of like what she was saying but it was so annoying did she shush the horse yeah people love to go yeah like the horse he's not People love to go shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. Yeah. It's a horse. He's not saying anything. Yeah. Her horse would like turn a little to the right and she'd be like, whoa, whoa, where are we going? Where are we going? Are we doing this?

Are we really doing this? Or like, I was like, you know, the horse can't understand anything you're saying. People love to go to a horse. Yeah. But so overall, the horse riding thing was fun. I'm probably never going to do it again, though. Horse riding is dope.

We should go horse riding. Next time we should, when we start going on these little road, going on the road things, we should build in a little personal day for us, especially because a lot of the time is going to be on the weekends. And we need to find ways to do activities

like going on a horse, riding on a horse. Yeah, I'd be down. You just said that you never want to do it horse yeah i'd be down you just said that you never want to do it again i've been down i would do it if we i mean dude i'm down for anything if it's for content really oh yeah i mean you got in the booth and fucking finally spit a couple bars i know everyone was like damn is that is saskin to be able to do it i think people think like i'm a little bitch ass sometimes i know people do oh do. Oh, I thought you were. Also, with the horse thing, I was like,

I don't want to run. You said that? I was like, I don't want to run. Owen, listen to this. Don't play it on the camera, though. I was like, I don't want to run while we go. And I was kind of nervous, but I was kind of joking around. I was just trying to get some laughs out of my boys.

Are you hearing sass's okay i changed it completely after that you're hearing sass's rap voice on should we play it into like into the microphone no no don't put it out yet don't put it out because i want people to be able to enjoy the once the song's out we'll revisit this clip yeah and we'll play it again but uh yeah so i was like i was kind of like oh i'm like nervous i don't want you didn't want to run you didn't want the horse to run or you didn't i didn't want the horse to run i was like i'll be i'd trot which is like a light a light you don't want to canter or i didn't want to i didn't want to canter or gallop yeah i understand and um i said that right off the bat and then next thing i know i'm like

way in the back i'm like the last horse. And everyone's kind of like being like, Hey man, are you okay? You good? Like people were checking in on me a little, a little too much. I didn't like that.

Cause I was like, Oh, they think I'm a little bitch. And then when we're, and when everyone's getting ready to like, we're trotting, my horse didn't trot. Like it wouldn't go.

So I think they thought I didn't want to run at all. And then they're going, they're getting ready to, to cancer. And they're like harry you're gonna want to sit this one out literally they said to me it was like you had to sit on the sidelines i got my man card yeah no i literally did i got my man card swiped from me right then dude well why would you ever say like i don't want to run because i dude i was joking around with my friends. I was like, damn, this is going to be scary. Like, we were all just, like, messing around. And then they took it too seriously.

And they were like, Harry, you're going to want to sit this one out. You're actually scared. Yeah. I was like, no, I'm not scared. Like, no, you're scared. Here's a pack of tampons, you little bitch. You're going to want to wedge these in your cheeks for the next time you fucking try and say something stupid. You fucking idiot. And I didn't, like, we, like we like got there so we go to put the horses back and they're

like all helping me get down and shit and they thought i had something wrong with me next time that's why everyone hated me next time you need to be wearing boxer briefs first off to protect your nuts but more specifically you should probably be wearing some me undies the next time that you're riding my horse read my mind 100 should be riding some MeUndies because they will cup your nuts towards your body, which will in turn stop your nuts from clopping around like a couple horseshoes, just smacking them all over the place. In fact, I'm pretty sure that MeUndies,

this isn't in writing, but they have a guarantee that your nuts will not get crushed horseback riding if you rock with MeUies there's some of the most comfortable uh boxer briefs that you can have they are they really cup the crotch they cup your nuts i wore them to my uh to my rehearsal dinner and everyone was like oh my god are those me undies that you have under those white pants because it was a beautiful pattern that was on everyone was like damn those nuts are those nuts arepped. Your nuts are sitting on a platter.

Yeah. Do you have a cup inside of your pants? Do you have a, are your nuts sitting like a cornucopia? No, no, no. That's just my me undies. That's my me undies. I actually wear them all the time. They're extremely comfortable.

Yeah. Everything that they have. By far the most comfortable underwear that I, like, I'll wear them once, then I'll wash them, and then instantly, so I can can wear them again like a day or two but it's the undies it's the socks it's the socks the onesies it's anything that they have going on is it's just uh classic colors ridiculous prints you can just express yourself in your own unique unique way with me undies that's why they call it me undies and it's good for every size and also twinked out like sass's boys they got the fucking extra smalls if you're fucking cock diesel like

sass is the 4xl for you you could be a big boy and it's fine and they also uh they also got this little thing called the me undies membership okay basically you never leave your couch again with a me undies membership a monthly subscription that sends you new pairs right to your door yes each month you'll choose new undies socks or a bralette for the ladies or for the tittied out bros the tittied out guys i got to pick myself up one of those or bralette pick the style and color or print that feels most you fun right yes plus enjoy discounted pricing free shipping and exclusive early access to new launches love your butt and

get the membership yeah you got to get the get the membership and uh first time purchaser is 15 off of free shipping so uh it's a problem free philosophy if you don't have a if you don't like it if you have any problems with what you've ordered they'll refund or exchange it no caveats no question what other under underwear brand is exchanging drawers with you you could just fucking swap your fucking undies with me undies it's an incredible company and it's just wearable high quality underwear stop wearing underwear like a fucking idiot wear good underwear at me undies and you can get 15% off your first order. Free shipping. Go to MeUndies.com slash son. Son. It's MeUndies.com

slash son. Son. Son. Fuck with us. Son. MeUndies. Alright. That should have been your rap voice. Can we take a quick fiver? We can. I gotta go to the bathroom? Of course you do.

You always fucking do with that overactive bladder. I know. I'm always sipping. Yeah, you are, bro. All kinds of shit. All right, I'll be right back. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad after show.

We've all shit our brains out. We're just peeing and pooping. And we're empty now. I was actually just peeing and I was peeing and all of a sudden I looked up and I realized I was in the ladies room. You used the women's urinal? Yeah. No, it's a callback.

I used that joke already. Yes, I know. But I added on to it by saying that women had a urinal, which of course they don't. But imagine if they did have a gas mask that was just attached to a tube that went into a hole in the wall and that's how they could pee standing up. Would probably be very efficient. Yeah. Just jam it up their skirt because but girls if they had to pee standing up they just like take off all their clothes they don't have like a fly a penis wait a second what girls don't have a what bro because i need you to slow all right um empty now and I'm ready for thoughts. Actually, I got a quote for you, bro.

Yeah. Don't hang out with people who talk about other people because when you leave the table, you're the next subject of conversation. Fuck. Hang out with people that don't ever talk about. If you don't talk about other people, what do you talk about? Small minded people talk about people. about other people what do you talk about small-minded people talk about people big medium-minded people talk about events and big-minded people talk about ideas

damn and none of those ideas or events involve people yeah it's just the idea crazy conversation people ideas without people completely yeah yeah i don't like communism, I guess. Yeah. Which doesn't involve people. No. Has nothing to do with people. Bro, fuck. Fuck communism, bro. Yeah, we like socialism. Yeah, bro.

We're not communists. This is a capitalist podcast. Yeah. Well, we're all about the numbies. We personally think that Jeff Bezos should rule the world. And it's a meritocracy. Everything is merit-based. We think there should be one level of people who know Jeff Bezos should rule the world. It's a meritocracy. Everything is merit-based. We think there should be one level of people

who know Jeff Bezos who can succeed in life and everyone else has to work nine to fives and they get paid $1 an hour. That's my ideal world. That makes a lot of sense to me. That the Goldman Sachs people are the ones that get to eat and then everyone else kind of serves them.

Everyone else is the ranch hands. That's how it should be. Goldman Sachs should be the rich kids at the ranch that are paying and everybody else should be the people who work in the kitchen. That's ideal. I want to live in a world where if you look Jeff Bezos in the eye

and you're not in his circle, he kills you on the spot. He rips your head off with his bare hands. That's capitalism. The Jeff Bezos shit is coming to a head. Dude, it's just getting started. I think it's coming to a head. No. I wouldn't be surprised.

Don't quote me on this, but I wouldn't be surprised if Jeff Bezos, his head explodes in the next couple months. Like if he fucking dies an untimely death. If some crazy shit happens to Jeff Bezos in the next couple months. Like, if he fucking dies an untimely death, if some crazy shit happens to Jeff Bezos in the next couple months. I mean, Steve Jobs died.

Yes. Bill Gates died. Bill Gates killed himself. You're right. Brutally. Brutally killed himself. He skinned himself. Yeah, in a pact with Warren Buffett.

In a pact with Warren Buffett. So Warren Buffett died, too. The two of them went to the movies together. Mark Zuckerberg died years ago. As a young man. Yeah. And that's why I don't think Bezos is going to make it that much longer. Because all the other billionaires are dying.

Yeah. Have you noticed that? Yeah. All the other billionaires are dying. Do you think the billionaires got vaxxed? I bet they got some different shit. Nah. I bet they got some different chips in that, bro.

Do you think Jeff Bezos got vaxxed different shit. Nah. I bet they got some different chips in there, bro. Do you think Jeff Bezos got vax? Nah. Nah. Bro, if we were just all getting regular chips in us, he got the Pringles can of chips in us. I know. He got the fucking incredible chips. Yeah.

You think that he can just literally look on his palm and triangulate any human being in the entire world, just find out where they are by the chips that he's had implanted in them probably amazon he probably can figure out anything he wants about anything yeah he's definitely the most powerful person in the world he's probably more powerful than like the president he probably has like a pair of glasses that can see through people's clothes and he just looks at men's penis sizes he just knows what size penis everybody knows what size he knows who he can alpha. I know your penis, sir.

Don't try to hoodwink me. I've seen your penis. I mean, even if he didn't see it physically, he's probably seen it on their phone or something. Yeah, and if anyone is having Brazilian penis lists, it's him. If anyone is taking

a full penis transplant. He's probably got a 12-inch dick. He's probably like, yeah, guys who are addicted to... Though I was talking with Rudy the other day, and we were talking about how in olden days, in like Grecian times, Roman times maybe, that they thought that the dainty penis was more desirable. Because like if you had a big dick, you're like a slob.

You're like a fucking brute. Makes sense. I mean, it makes sense. It's like all statues and stuff, they all have tiny penises. Yeah, they had, like, dainty, cute, desirable penises. Cutest little penises. But, like, what about the ladies, though? You know what I mean?

Like, didn't the ladies want a big, fat one to ride on? Probably. A big, fat cock to ride on? No, they didn't really do that kind of shit back then. They weren't riding cock? No, no, no, no, no. Really? No, no really what are you no no what have you been reading some ancient tantric shit a lot of it actually really constantly i love that but i i'm trying to i'm trying to learn more about the tantric shit i just don't have the patience though now i i'm on a i'm on a little

bit of a drought in terms of reading i I need to start reading more. Yeah. Trying to get smarter constantly. Dude, just 10 pages a day, bro. Constantly trying to educate myself. Cold shower, two outdoor workouts for 45 minutes, eat by a very strict diet, and read one page a day. Okay, so I could eat by the most strict diet ever, I think, if I had a personal chef. I just can't cook food myself. It's such a pain in the ass. I like keeping track of all your macros and stuff okay here's a sick would you rather this is to get back to our fucking roots would you rather have a personal chef or a personal trainer

personal chef easily really that shouldn't even be a question what that's a dumb question no it's not i'd rather have a personal trainer no that's a dumb question i'd rather have a diet that's a really dumb i'd rather have a personal you know it's like 80 food 20 workout no yes no yes i would just work out uh 80 more than no no no no matter how much you work out no matter how much you work out it doesn't matter if you're not eating the right foods well you don't even eat veggies yes i do no you. No, you don't, dude. I just had cauliflower with my lunch. How? How was it prepared? It was like a...

I don't know. I didn't make it. Like a buffalo cauliflower or some shit like that? No, just regular cauliflower. Just do it. I don't fucking believe you, bro. It sounds like you're projecting and you don't eat vegetables. I don't eat vegetables.

I am projecting. I wanted you to sit in this fucking boat with me, all right? I ate a lot of veggies. Oh, really? When was the last time you ate a lot of veggies? Today, when I had cauliflower. You had a fucking cauliflower. I had cauliflower and tomato. And lettuce, too. Tomato's just gonna

inflame you. That's just gonna have you like Tom Brady doesn't eat tomatoes. Of course he doesn't. Tom Brady literally eats black sludge for every single meal. He just puts his mouth on the exhaust pipe of an old Buick and fucking huffs until he feels full. TB-12.

The tuberculosis 12 method. It'll kill you in 12 years. Tom Brady literally, he doesn't eat any carbs, right? Or am I wrong? He doesn't eat cauliflower or tomatoes are the two things that he refuses. Keto was the biggest mistake of my life because I got like shredded when I was going into college. I was super shredded, like not jacked at all, but I was very, very toned.

Let's see the pictures. I don't have any pictures. Yeah. I was very toned. And then the second I got to college, I didn't have like a kitchen to cook in. So I was just eating like chicken sandwiches and like I was trying to still be healthy. I was still working out and stuff. But like the second you start having carbs again game over game over you're right back to where you started you just have to give up carbs completely in like a week

and uh and it's not sustainable to give up carbs completely so it's like don't do keto because your body needs carbs yeah it's also horrible for your organs is it yeah like apparently like i think keto is actually ranked like the worst diet in the world but it works though bro it fucking works it works fast too yeah anytime i've ever cut out like i'll cut out carbs like a week you wake up like on the seventh day and you're like chiseled all right peter o'day that's a day walking out right now that was his last day yeah no yeah was it really zero days left that's what the O in O'Day stands for. No, he said he has another week.

No, that's it, bro. That's not true. You didn't even get to say goodbye. Because I know that's not true. I know he's going to Boston right now. You're not even a big goodbye guy. No, I'm a see you later. It's not goodbye, it's see you later.

I think Ed Sheeran just wrote a song about that. Yeah? Sing it. It's been a long day That's a new one. Without you, my friend And I'll tell you all about it When I see you again

It's been a long day I like that jam again I hate when they take slow songs like that and someone does a cover and they make it all happy. It's been a long day without you, my friend. I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.

Or like they add a rap verse. Yo, it's been a long day since I've seen you again. But you know what? We'll always be friends. Whenever they do rap verses like that, they just say what the lines of the song are. I heard so many people on TikTok remaking, like, I get my peaches out in Georgia into rap verses. They'd be like, I get my peaches out in Georgia, peaches out in Florida. It's just like, those are the words to the song.

You're just rapping the words to the song. You can't really say that you're doing something individual. Y'all need out, bro. I'm trying not to to yawn but i'm so tired dude it's been a busy week and i'm here we are pumped out two episodes i know you can't handle my facts but here's another one doctors don't even know what makes you yawn it's being tired no dude you make things up no bro you're a pathological liar and i can't do this podcast with you anymore i'm well read bro i can't have a liar in my circle you've stopped this circle is is built solely on trust luckily i have my fucking works cited book with me at all times so if you need me to fucking dip into the backpack where'd you hear that one i cracked a snapple and it was on the top

bro you know snapple's a scam right what frauds running that thing what bunch of fucking liberals what i thought that was ben and jerry's ice cream snapple was snapple was created by a bunch of left-wing liberals

to infect our minds with false information. What? If I knew that fucking liberals were making my ST, I wouldn't have had it in the first place. No, dude. Exactly. Exactly. That's why you had to make it at home. What the fuck, bro?

Or no one could poison it. Next thing you're going to tell me, fucking Chick-fil-A is politically charged, bro. Bro, don't even get me started on Chick-fil-A. We should open up a Chick-fil-A franchise, though, bro. Bro, don't even get me started on Chick-fil-A. We should open up a Chick-fil-A franchise, though, just to go to the camp. Dude, you apparently only need like 10K to do that. But you have to be like, you have to get past and make it to like the Chick-fil-A camp, though. There's a camp? Yes, you have to go away for like a long weekend or something like that.

And you have to be super Christian. They beat the fuck out of you? Yeah, it's like an internment camp. like we're we're releasing the demons from you so you can stay at chick-fil-a they just want to make sure you're not gay so they just like flog the shit out of you pour burning water on you yeah it's a conversion camp yeah probably really is yeah these like they definitely make you like stare at pictures of like pussy oh yeah yeah pussy yeah pussy dude you said dicks bro i was gonna say maybe they make you stare at pictures of dicks and like uh until it's gross to you no and see if you get hard and if you get hard they fire

you damn that would be fucking embarrassing crazy i saw owen eating chick-fil-a the other day and took a picture of him as blackmail in case I ever need it. Why? Because you could tell that he's homophobic by that? Well, I've got, like, I just, it's a good picture to have just in case I need it. You never know. You never know who's gonna stab you in the fucking back. You never

know when you're gonna have to blackmail the fuck out of somebody. It's tough when we're at the office and people are walking by the radio room and they're like, damn, they're room and they're like damn they're still in there damn they're still grinding yes yes you could tell you could read all of us not all of us get off at fucking 3 p.m i love when you roast people as they're leaving you're like oh half day today huh half day nate huh yeah slow one, huh? You better be working from home. Seriously, because we'll check. When I see

people leaving, I say, you better be sick or someone better have died. People do. That's just the kind of work environment that we got here. We joke, but it's serious. This is a 24-7 job. I sleep here. At all times, you need to be on on this job.

Yeah. Because you never know when the boss man is going to call you up. You never know when he's going to be on the line saying like, hey, I need you to report on Kirk Minahan's last eight podcasts. And I need it on my desk to say exactly what he's talking about. I need to find out. I need you to audit Coley, the editor-in-chief, and see what he's been doing. Because maybe you'll have to be in charge next week. We think something fishy is happening with the part of my take, guys.

I need you to go scope it out. We need to crunch the numbers from the start. We need to go just break down all the numbers. It was actually so awkward yesterday when we were with the part of my take, dude. For people who don't know, there's two random podcast bunch of random pod there's like two random podcast studios in the in our in our office and then we're like we're in the radio room and then like part of my take and kfc radio and chicks in the office have their own studios and basically they're remodeling the part of my take studio and they're making it a son of a boy dad podcast studio and like they don't know yet but we know so we kind of had to like just like

no they don't know that explains so much that they don't know yet but we know so we kind of had to like just like no they don't know that explains so much that they don't know you thought you thought they would be like a little more like pissed but they like to have no idea because like i kept on making like moving day jokes or like when we're gonna like and they would be like like hang out at my new spot type of thing and they like kind of just like shrug it off or just he acted like he didn't get it or like just change the subject yeah just eat his starburst or whatever yeah so i kind of just shrug it off. Or he acted like he didn't get it or just changed the subject. Yeah. Just eat his Starburst or whatever.

So I don't even want to see them again because I'm so – it's going to be so awkward when they find out. But you know what? They just had to realize that they were probably the new kid on the block at one point. And there was probably like someone else's podcast studio that they had to take over. It's like if you're the Top Gun, you're the Top Gun. There's not much you can do. Yeah. They probably took over joe budden studio back in the day or uh mark maron who's some other podcast old g's kfc radio yeah i'm trying to think of the old g's and podcast that was the original joe rogan obviously staple obviously staple in the podcast podcast industry legion of skanks you know know what I mean? Like that fucking deep cut

shit, that fucking raw and raunchy shit, bro. The Office one with Pam and that shit's new, bro. Come on, man. That shit is ancient. That shit's new new. That shit's new new now, bro. That shit is a staple in podcasts. I was thinking today that Call Her Daddy

needs to start doing a true crime segment. Oh, shit. Just in between sucking dick techniques. She's like, let me tell you the story about a child who was brutally murdered by her own family. What's up, fuckers? What's up, fuckers? What's up, you little sluts?

What's up, you little sluts? Let me tell you about the time where a child was brutally stabbed to death by his mother. I don't understand why she... Coming up next, how to suck the proper dick. I know. I was thinking about it because I saw that. What is it? Just like hotties talking murder?

It's like a girl's podcast. Very similar look to the Call Her Daddy poster. And after we find out about the serial killers rampage we're gonna teach you how to murder a pussy yeah this one the guys are gonna like this one how to eat out a girl to completion but first let's get into little lacey sanderson who was ripped away from her family while she was literally ripped in half in half away from her family i mean i don't know who uh i guess alex cooper's just her own boss, but she should just have another show under her that's just like Call Her Daddy Crime, and it's not even her.

And it's just somebody else that's doing it. I know. She should be like the New York Times. Yeah, yeah, she should. Call Her Daddy should be the New York Times. Yeah. Or like Washington Post. Yeah.

Or some shit like that. Yeah. It's just like the Washington Post has all these different podcasts. Washington Post. Yeah. Or some shit like that. It's just like the Washington Post has all these different podcasts. Call Her Daddy should be its own network. And she just has this network of sleuths underneath her. Yeah.

Absolute sleuths. For sure. For sure. For sure, bro. For sure. For sure, bro, bro. Yo, talk to us about that fucking that ad life, bro. I know, dude. I know. I know, I know. Shout out to our sponsors.

Shout out to our sponsors. My boy's writing a construction workers musical. A musical about construction workers. We need some help on the plot, but I think it's something about them unlearning homophobia or some shit like that.

Oh, awesome. These guys are born with homophobia and then this like super woke construction guy gets onto the set and he's like teaches them not to like cat call or say the F word. Do you remember yesterday when you were like when like Big Cat did his verse in the

studio and someone was like, bro, he's got to say pause after that shit. And you were like, oh yeah, like you guys are still on the homophobic shit. And they were like oh yeah like you guys are still on the homophobic shit and they were like yeah definitely we were like oh all right there was a resounding yes he was like yes yeah of course we are what like they were shocked so weird i got like blown back for a second whoa because i was trying to like awkwardly like oh you guys are still on that homophobic shit because i was trying to like awkwardly like oh you guys are still on that homophobic shit because i was trying to like take the like the tension out of the room and kind of

make them realize it's 2021 like we're not really like pausing stuff anymore like he can he can like say that stuff and it's like not going to be like a people aren't going to just think that he's gay for saying like something penis related or b even if he, it's not going to be something that he needs to immediately apologize for. So I was like, you guys are still on that homophobic tip? And they're like, yeah. It wasn't even like a yeah. He was like, yes.

No, like staunchly. And we're not wavering. We're just getting started on our homophobia. Maybe you should change because we never will we never will all right uh well we all have passions that push us to do things in life like selling crafts online all all out of a deep burning love for logistics and order management no one's passionate about that part right that's where ship station That's why there's ShipStation.

They make it easy to manage your orders and get your products out the door so you can get back to doing what you really love, growing your business. Growing your business. You can import orders from any sales channel, ship with any carrier

using ShipStation's deeply discounted rates and automate just about any shipping task. No one... Hey, Ron. No wonder 100,000 online sellers choose ShipStation. Huh? It's a fucking fact.

I mean, people probably don't understand exactly what ShipStation is, but let me tell you who ShipStation is for. It's for the entrepreneur in each one of you. If you want to sell something. It's for the hustlers. It's for the grinders. It's for the outcasts. Yes, dude. It's for those who are

trying to make a mark in this world. Alpha males. Those who know they're more than just a 9-to-5 job. Exactly. That's what ShipStation is for. Not a gamma male. Not these fucking absolute omega male losers who are fucking towards the back of the path and they have no

idea where they're going in life. It's for people who want to take their business to the next level. If you make calendars of hot priests and you want to sell them throughout the entire world, then ship station is the place for you. If you make dashikis by hand and you want to start shipping them out, but you want to make things easier so you can focus on dashiki design, then you want to be able to use ship station and they're going to take good

care of you. It's a way to be your own boss and leave the logistics up to a company who does that shit. Yes. No matter how you sell, Shopify, Etsy, your own website, ShipStation funnels all your orders into one simple interface and you can manage from anywhere, even

your cell phone. Cell phone. Cell phone. Heard of one? Yeah. That was a cell phone. Use it. Hell yes. Shipard of one? Yeah. Use it. That was a cell phone. Use it. Hell yes. Ship more in less time for a lot less money. Just use our offer code SUN

to get a 60 day free trial. That is a free trial. What the fuck? 60 days. That's two months. That's two months of free trials.

That's insane, bro. Or if you started in February, which I don't know why you would wait that long, that's a little bit more than two months. Oh, I see what you did there. Loophole. Loophole Central. So basically just go on over to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in Sun.

Sun. That's ShipStation.com, enter code Sun. Make ship happen. You said that. Not the other one. You wrote that. Not the other one. You added that little part that. You wrote that. Not the other one. You added that little part at the end right there. Not the other one. On some funny ass goof shit, bro. On some goofy shit.

Bro, you're fucking out of your mind, bro. I know, bro. Yo, so summer's winding down. Before we get out of here, let's talk about the things that we want to do this summer before it's done or the stuff that we wanted to do that we didn't get to do. Jeez. Go down a water slide? Nah.

I would say something about getting my guts sucked out by a pool filter. Oh, yeah. But did you see that TikTok took the volume off of that? Or they took the sound off of that clip? No, what was it? It was us talking about getting our guts sucked out by a pool filter. Oh, really? And TikTok took the sound off.

You know this. You just said you have to delete TikTok. sucked out by a pool filter oh really and tiktok took the i don't know the sound off bro you know this you just said you have to delete tiktok i downloaded it for three seconds and then deleted it because i wanted to check the so i wanted to check yeah you can't even think of a lie because i was looking at owen i wanted to check the son of a boy dad page yeah yeah yeah geez sorry about sorry i care about my fans and my podcast yeah i mean if you really cared you'd be posting way more on tiktok if you really cared, you'd be posting way more on TikTok. If you cared about them, you'd be giving them fresh content daily like a fucking donut shop. You'd be like Tim Hortons just flipping donuts.

I don't have time for this bullshit. Dude, have you gone to Tim Hortons at least this summer? I have. We went this morning. Yeah, we did. Got a good ass donut. Yeah, we did. Me and Ron have just kind of been like on the road a lot lately.

Yes, bro. It's like florentine said bro you're just at like a red roof i actually was thinking about what florentine said last night when i was in bed and i was like i don't know if i'm cut out for this he was like yeah you're gonna be spending a lot of time alone in a hotel room and i was like damn here i am alone in a hotel room and i'm not having fun but i actually did a lot of fun doing this doing the song thing was actually like the most fun i've had in a while was it more fun than the ski ball ski ball was fun was it more fun yes yes it was not being evasive yeah it was more fun than the ski ball it was definitely because you got to do

something yes and it was like it's like nerve-wracking a little bit it's like you put yourself to the test yeah you can't be brave unless you're scared i'm pumped for people to hear pft's verse it's so funny but it it's really good, too. It does not sound like him at all. He turned on this whole new voice. He sounds like one of the suicide boys in it. It's crazy. You talking to me, bro?

Yeah. One of the suey boys. One of the suey buddies. Alright, should we wrap it up? Yes, but let's give our shout outs first shout out to the listeners shout out to the listeners

like our podcast like our podcast oh yeah listen to the podcast like it five stars on Apple if you're listening to this on YouTube or watching it on YouTube give it a thumbs up maybe leave a comment unless it's a mean one yeah true because that shit If it's on YouTube or watching it on YouTube, give it a thumbs up. Maybe leave a comment, unless it's a mean one.

That's real, because that shit hurts our feelings. Oh, yeah. Also, make sure to listen to Tuesday's episode, too, because this is the second episode of the week. Also, don't send me a mean comment about Sass thinking that he's not going to find out about it, because I'm just going to tell him what you said. I wasn't aware that was happening. I have some stuff to tell you. Is there a lot of those? Yes, dude. Fuck.

I know. I know. All right, let's wrap this up. All right, see you guys next week. Wait, I just clapped. Well, that's on you. See you guys next week. Peace.