Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 17 - Milk

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

-- Sas & Rone shoot the shit from their hotel room in the greater Atlanta region after covering a milk chugging competition at Kennesaw State. -- Buy some merchYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Yes, let's do it. What the fuck was that? You're phlegmy today. I know. Why? I think that's a bad sign.

I've been phlegmy for the last month. I don't have COVID. I did an at-home COVID test. What do you mean? Like you made it yourself? No, that my sister had one. A COVID test? Yeah.

She had like 100 of them. All right, ready? Yep. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today is August 31st. Bust off, August. Correct.

Incredible summer. Today's... Oh, we probably shouldn't have said the date. Fuck! Oh, fuck, dude. Nah, it's fine, whatever. Oh, no. We are recording this episode a week early. But this is also just... This is timely. This is an episode about something, kind of. This is a timely episode. We got a jam-packed episode.

Today we are out in beautiful, beautiful Georgia in Kennesaw State. Yes. Kennesaw State University, home of the milk chugging. Yes, stand-up Kennesaw State. I do believe we talked about the milk chugging last episode, kind of explained what we were doing out here. But basically, I would say that Roan completely misled us on what we were on what we were expecting how this is the first i'm hearing this you've acted led the entire time now suddenly not not not you've been misled not misled that was the wrong word to use it was more i think

the way that you described what we were doing i was expecting that you were like oh we're going to see a uh we're going to a milk chugging contest and it was a milk chugging contest but it was so how are you led astray at all much different than i what i was expecting i was expecting to show up to like some random place in georgia and like it was going to be like 50 50 year old men who've been chugging milk their entire life. Why did you think it was going to be 50-year-old men? I don't know. That's just what I assumed. Apparently, we got here.

We're at Kennesaw State. Why would there be 50-year-old men at a college, university? Because you didn't tell me we were going. You were like, we're going to Atlanta. We're not in Atlanta. We're in the greater Atlanta area. We are. We're like 45 minutes away from atlanta um but yeah so you got to it last night and it was completely different from what you expected

completely different from what i expected describe what you saw the episode will be out by now right yes the episode came out yeah a couple days ago but it's basically you haven't watched the video it's like you got served but for milk it. It's like a thousand people crowded around. Or how would you describe it? It was a lot of people there. Parking lot. I don't think it was quite a thousand people. Probably around like 600,

700. I think it was about a thousand. You think so? What makes you think that you can appraise crowds like that? I just have a good idea. There was a lot of people there and we were the trump inauguration picture you're so good at numbering a crowd i think there was around there was probably close to a thousand people there um it was in the parking lot of a church but the church was a strip mall yeah the church was not a traditional church it looked like you were outside

of like a cvs and most people there were youth pastors then you kind of get that vibe that it was very very religious crowd well they love god no substances being consumed among among a thousand college students except for lactate except for milk you got a flag by the commissioner of the milk chugging competition it was a oh yeah no i didn't someone we saw someone get flagged our buddy o's guys flag for vaping yes he was like brother keep that down the lord is watching you keep that down brother god's watching no but he actually was like keep it down like we don't we don't want the church to vape in front of me yeah why would the church get i don't know the church wasn't there but there was also a fuck ton of police officers there but they were there to just watch the milk be chugged it's not like

they were cracking down because like we said there was nothing going on that was illicit very respectful group they didn't even curse the entire time that is true yeah it was such good clean fun yeah it was the most wholesome thing it was like going to like a high school football game like everyone was having but there's more people drunk at a high school football game that's true and like someone loses and like someone's dad is angry about playing time and like there's a coach like abusing someone i was expecting it to be like we were going to show up like once i found out what it was i was expecting it to be like we're showing up to like a frat party because it wasn't that it wasn't that at all

it was literally just like and also i know i'm like i was younger than most of the kids there but for some reason those kids looked really young yeah a lot of them looked like they were like you're grizzled because you've been in new york yeah it's true my body's taking a toll yeah it just it ages you in dog years yeah yeah But yeah, they all looked really young and healthy and happy. So that's probably where that... It was the milk, though. They looked like they had sturdy bones. They looked like a sturdy bunch.

They looked like they could do a human pyramid 80 stories tall. Yeah, it was a healthy group of guys and girls. But yeah, the chugging was out of this world. It was like something I've never seen before. It was like... How many competitions were there? Four? Four competitions, which it felt like there should be more than that. But it was the right amount of competition, the right amount of milk, because by the end

of it, it smelled rancid. Oh, it was disgusting. It smelled disgusting. Disgusting. Because it was like, you probably won't be able to see it as well in the video because we don't want to get flagged for people throwing up. You probably won't be able to see it as well in the video because we don't want to get flagged for people throwing up. Right.

But, I mean, maybe they'll be able to tell, but the milk on the ground in the video is not spilt milk. It was thrown up. It's all puke. It was once filtered through an esophagus. I could gag right now thinking about it. It was very foul. And a lot of eating competitions, there's a rule,

if you heave you leave yeah in this competition you have to you just throw up and keep going and throw up and keep going it's like who has the fortitude to be able to rip through it people were bringing out hot sauce it was like showmanship people would bring out hot sauce show how they just had an iron gullet yeah a guy came out with a little bag of jalapenos and started eating them. He failed miserably. It might have ruined him right beforehand.

He brought out jalapenos. Basically, this one girl brought out hot sauce and she chugs the hot sauce. Or like a little bit. She takes a couple swigs of the hot sauce. Everyone's going crazy. He's the final competition. He brings out a bag of jalapenos. It was weird that he should have just brought out the loose jalapenos there's no reason for them to still be in the bag yeah because it's like a grocery bag that you turn

inside out to grab the jalapeno he's like in he's like kneeling down the bags on the ground he's like scrambling trying to get the jalapenos out and then he takes one bite of the jalapeno and he's like he it just breaks him he's never had a jalapeno and he's like it just breaks him he's never had a jalapeno before he was like oh i think he was like blown away by how hot it was and he was like i think he threw up a little bit already just from that and then he had to chug the milk and he had to get into a sprinter stance so you could tell that as he was getting down into the sprinter stance that his like gi tract was getting all bunched up and it was just i think he panicked i think he was panicking he had a sick look on his face and he wound up losing the competition

basically because of that yeah he tried to showboat and he tried to have fucking jalapenos before his milk chugging competition and he wound up like that and i think he did i think he went a little too fast i think he was trying to i think he was trying to take it down all in one all in one go i mean there's like lore behind. It feels like it's been going on since the 70s. I think it's been happening since last year. I think it's like a year and a half. Because there's people there who are like, I was here at the first

Milk Monday. Because who was the guy? Dakota King. So there's this legend, Dakota King, who they all talk about. With reverence. Apparently, Dakota King has the record. He took down an entire gallon of milk in 35 seconds. 34 seconds.

Which is faster than Joey Chestnut, who was the Nathan's Hot Dog champion. Which is shocking. I'm assuming he probably just had it all in one sip and threw up after, right? I guess. But this dude is made of milk. I talked to him, and I felt like I was talking to a bag of milk. Yeah, he was there. He had a, he made a special appearance.

I was kind of hoping that he wouldn't be there. I didn't want to see him. They say never meet your heroes. And he truly was the hero around these parts. Like Dakota King is that fucking boy. And people like wanted to call him out, but it's like, he's the rock. He's like. They wanted him to chug.

I remember because they were thinking that one of the opponents wasn't going to show up. And they were like, Dakota's the rock yeah like they wanted him to chug i remember because they were thinking that one of the opponents wasn't going to show up and they were like dakota's gonna have to step in he was like never never again you're gonna have to pay me a lot of money i put down the milk years ago and everybody there was like the first milk chugging competition which was like 18 months ago, there were like 10 people there. But I met 85 people who claimed that they were at the first competition. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like 9-11. People being like, yeah, I was supposed to be in the towers.

I was there that morning. Yeah. Wasn't there a guy from the league who claimed? Yeah, it was like a stolen valor, basically. He said he was in the towers or something, and then it turned out he wasn was like a stolen valor. Basically, he he said he was he said he was like in the tower or something. And it turned out he wasn't even in the same state. Why would you do that as a comedian? Maybe he said it as a joke and people just took it serious.

And then he like, oh, fuck that. Yeah, that's probably what happened realistically. But yeah, it was crazy. I mean, the the amount of throw up was shocking. And I feel like when I throw up, I'm really shaken up after. Like you can't stand. Your body vibrates a little bit. My body's shaking.

I'm panicking a little bit. But these kids would just throw up. And if they win, they just forget that they even threw up. They just power right through it. But then the losers get taken out in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put up a wheelchair. It's hilarious.

It's just good, clean fun. Yeah. It's just wholesome jokes. And there's hilarious it's just it's good clean fun yeah it's just wholesome jokes and there's a women's division too the women chug half gallons half a gallon which I don't know were you cool with that

a little sexist it was a little weird I don't really know why they would chug half gallons it's not like it's a physical difference I don't think there's like a like men can handle a gallon like no one can handle a gallon

and in like the Nathanathan's hot dog eating competition or like wing bowl yeah the black widow sonia thomas one of the best eaters in the world she'll just eat wings alongside the men yeah i did i actually did like the half gallon though because it was faster it was better that it should be there should be weight classes instead of gendered classes it should be like this is a we have a half gallon race we have like uh a pint race or some shit yeah i also think uh the final fight was it i don't think it went be like this is a we have a half gallon race we have like uh a pint race or some shit yeah i also think uh the final fight was it i don't think it went by like ranks did it because the final fight was was less impressive or the final competition was less impressive than the

second to last one but i think that's any fight card you never know who's going to you never know what's going to be the best fight of the night i feel like i would be pissed if i was like second to last because those guys both would have smoked the winner yeah they went fast and they were all about it dude i was most impressed by the one woman uh the girl who i forget which she was maybe they were in a sorority like it was a sorority fight yeah but she drank the milk so hard that it like caved in she like had oh yeah like a toilet plunger and it fucking the entire half gallon was caving in it she was absolutely dedicated to the cause yeah i mean we were saying last night i wonder if if for half

down it would make sense if you could like shotgun it like poke a hole in it right get the mic stud like chugging chug buddy or whatever yeah i feel like i mean that would be a huge advantage because a gallon of milk probably a lot of suction going on there. Dude, they're talking about taking this to different campuses. They're going to different colleges with it. I was talking to the two kids who run the Viceroy program there, and they were saying

that it's expanding to other colleges in September. That's sick. Then they're going to try and do school-wide It is September. Yeah, it will be. Well, it isn't, technically. For you comp like you're going to try it is school yeah it will be well it isn't technically for you for you it is for you it is yeah but uh they were saying they're going to try and do like school versus school competitions that would be incredible yeah we're just having like heat or like this guy's really good at chugging milk yeah just bringing in the best college because it's just such pure fun yeah

it really was it was uh it was very well done too like the i'm excited to see the video because i don't really have any great videos of like the when it first started like the intros and stuff it was i was getting the chills it was like it was insane were you actually getting i got the chills i was like damn this is crazy ladies and gentlemen and they will go fucking and. And everyone's going crazy. I was like, damn, this is wild. I've never seen... It really was like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Yeah, because it's going to... I feel like it's going to be bigger. Yeah. And it's going to be more regulated. Yeah, it should be in the Olympics. Yeah, these people were incredible. There needs to be more rules, though. Because throwing up...

There are refs, though. There are refs and janitors. Yeah, yeah. There's hosts and there's a live show i just feel like the throwing up thing is weird because i feel like if you really wanted to you could just take down a sip and then just like spit it out and everyone think you're puking no they would be you could tell when somebody's doing that because when milk gets filtered once through a throw-up process it's a a little bit thinner. It's like a vodka.

Like, you could throw it up three times, and it'd be a nice, pure milk. Dude, I don't know. It was coming out thick. I was seeing thick milk on the ground, and the smell was horrifying. It was, like, wafting off like fucking blood on a battlefield. Dude, it was so gross. And they were like, yeah, this has never happened before, because apparently the place they did it last year. There was a drain? There was a drain.

So all the milk went into the drain. But I was like there's a drain there was a drain so all the milk went into the drain but i was like dude this is like so foul smelling but it made me it really made me believe that there are no other like that was the best new college tradition that i've seen like i don't i don't know any other like people have like parties or like big concerts in the backyard that's not what i'm talking about like a tradition where there's some type of competition not even like a beer olympics this is just something so specific that's so fucking nuts it was just like a brawl are you happy that you came out yeah yeah i mean i it was it was very fun to see some fucking different shit man yeah it was cool the people here were super nice, too. A lot of Southern hospitality.

Yeah, just a lot of that National Anthem. They fucking went up for the National Anthem. Oh, yeah. They went crazy. I was kind of not paying attention, and the kid was like, flags behind you. And I was like, oh, shit. And then I turned.

I was like, I'm going to do the National Anthem. The cops fucking... Yeah. Flags behind you, brother. Hey, son. son yeah i was like oh shit hats off yeah it was i mean it was united it was usa themed that was the theme of last night was the united states patriotism is back in a big way yeah and the moment of silence for afghanistan was don't want to say a fail but it wasn't wasn't great weird people were like throwing bottles at first and then there's like that guy yelled shut the fuck up

yeah which was so annoying shut the fuck up like he thinks he's a hero like his brothers in the military like his like his now a moment of silence for shut the fuck up guy. Another hero among us. Thank you for your service. Shut the fuck up guy. He was like, shut the fuck up. And he said it slow enough that it took up like half the moment of silence. And the moment of silence ended like right after that. It was like, dude, you just got to go with the flow. Like obviously when you're with like that many people, not everyone is going to be dead silent.

Most of the people probably didn't even know what was going on yeah they're like interviews still happening people didn't know they're still getting settled yeah it people were literally i felt like it was like a train in india like people were like stacked on top of cars they were like peeking through like the bottom they were like literally lying underneath cars to have like a better view yeah there was a lot of trucks a A lot of truck. Big truck school. Yeah, it is a big truck school. Yeah. They said, I mean, they were like, yeah, this is basically the biggest.

They were like, this is basically the biggest thing that happens at our school. They said there's going to be more people here than the football opener. Yeah. They said that the school actually asked them to do it at the basketball game during halftime. They want them to do a chug, a milk chug. Because it's so wholesome. You could sell it anywhere. They're like turning down the offer. There's so wholesome like you could sell it anywhere

they're like turning down the offer I'd like there's going to be like 10 people there I'd like to buy into the milk league they wanted like Barstool to sponsor it I'd like to buy into the milk league

I'd like to buy an ownership stake in the milk league and fund them to do some stuff because I feel like milk could be bigger than football milk could be bigger than basketball yeah like people come out for milk you don't really need to understand it either you just chug chugging milk

and it's just something in your body there's just something chemically about it that your body can't handle yeah like you could chug a whole gallon of water or everyone's like hey yeah i'd rather chug beer it's like no of course you rather chug beer yeah this isn't the would you rather olympics this is the fucking milk o. It's chantable. It was very chantable. What did they say? We want milk. Milk.

Milk. There's a lot of milk chants and there's a lot of we want milk. Harvey milk. They were fucking going nuts for Harvey milk. Have you ever seen milk? The movie milk with Sean Penn? No. It's part of it though.

It's fire, bro. Yeah. Sick. Dope ass movie. It's about this dude harvard couldn't make it in the aba he couldn't make it in like the he was on the team that played against the harlem glow trotters and then he fucking decided you know what i'm gonna take a trip around the world in a hot a hot air balloon and while he up there, he finds out he's gay. Oh, wow. And then he runs for government in, uh,

in California. And he wins? He wins. Wow. All because he went in a hot air balloon because he, he couldn't beat the Harlem Globetrotters. Probably learn a lot about yourself when you're in a hot air balloon. Something I would never do is go on one of those things.

Why? Sounds like hell. It does sound like hell. Those things just like light on fire. And a lot of early like space exploration was just people just like going up there's like a movie about it's called like the aeronauts i forget what that's called but like it's it creeped me the fuck out because they just like you go through clouds and you're just getting pitched the fuck around just whipped

around scrambled that is something that definitely could go down because of turbulence. Yes. Like you turn a balloon upside down, all the fucking air comes out of it. And it's like, you're just in a basket, right? That's, dude, that should not be a thing. Who the fuck thought of that? That shouldn't be legal. We're just going to weave a basket?

Did they come up with this in like the 500s? That is not modern. That doesn't sound modern. Like if you are if you have enough technology to be like shooting like some kind of like gas into a fucking balloon you should be in something better than like a wicker basket that you're like collecting easter eggs in or some bullshit do they really like they still do those things right yes and i think a lot of times they're just on like a slack line early on in the battle rap in battle rap they were like uh leagues were like trying to be like innovative

they're like we're gonna do two-on-two battles we're gonna do international battles we're even gonna do a battle in a hot air balloon and they just want to make it seem like but like how is that how's that like badass like battle rap supposed to be like there's nothing like badass about a hot air balloon it's like rich it's all like french aristocracy rich you've never even seen one in real life never seen hot air balloons maybe i've seen one i feel like i've seen one like in the distance somewhere like when i'm like on vacation or something because i feel like that's a big like vacation thing yeah they'll offer like hot air balloon tours even so it just feels like it's scary and no one could yeah no one could one could tell me that those things are safe.

Yeah. Or you have a picnic. So they eventually wind up doing a battle in one, and the dude was like, he did well, but he was so scared that he couldn't take his hand off the side of the balloon. I don't even want to go in a helicopter, but I would if I had to. That is like 10 times scarier. Do you have any control

over it or does that thing just float i think you have to have some kind of control i know there's like the thing with the bags of sand or something right yeah you just drop sand but that would give me the willies even just like watching something fall down if i had a parachute maybe but even so just like that would get like i'd rather be jumping out of it like i would not be able to enjoy one second on a hot air balloon now this view is beautiful if it was like 30 feet off the ground but even that's like i imagine those things go high and i bet they move fast i'll get to the top of a ferris wheel and fucking yeah like i don't even want it and that's on the ground that's a structure yeah i didn't even think about the turbulence on

one of those things i was getting thrown around you should watch this aeronauts movie just to fucking sweat from your palms yeah i want to see it i love watching that shit except i don't hot air balloons would be cool i don't like watching like the people like free running and doing parkour off of like the empire state building yes that's just fucking spooky it's just dumb it's like dude you're gonna fall and you're gonna kill like 15 people when you land i don't even you'll just ruin 15 people's lives when they watch you fucking explode like a watermelon when you hit the ground yeah it's just inflicting more emotional trauma i'd rather someone fall on me than watch someone fall in front of me and just see them fucking blow up like that. Hell no.

That is true. Hell no. I'm like waiting for the day when I'm just walking home from work and someone just sails right down by me. Just bounces. Yeah. Just pops up. And then in New York,

people would just walk right by another day in the city. Do you just got to ignore it? Yeah. Like when people are like like a an unhomed person is just like blabbering like screaming they'll just be like business people who just like have to put their head oh yeah yeah yeah it's like a person's like shitting their pants there's like no homeless people in like thigh dye and like wall street why do you think that is i don't know because the rich people will kill them if they come down there yeah they're just like i was

thinking like i was like if i was homeless i would go down here like it's much nicer it's cleaner it's a cannibal's trap yeah thigh dye they just fucking it's it's just rich people rich social probably they probably hunt the homeless people they definitely do they like lay traps from their apartments they'll just like sit out there. It'll be like SWAT. For their kid's birthday, they come in. Look what we got. Fresh man.

Yeah. And look how supple he is. Grab my machete from the garage. We like to keep him alive a little bit. Yeah. Like the purge. It keeps me fresher. It keeps a nice fresh meat.

Have you... You do like to feel scared when you watch movies, though. I do. You were hunting for a horror movie the other day. Well, I was watching it with my family. You watch horror movies with your family? I will. I like watching horror movies when I'm with a group of people. I would never watch one alone.

But we watched Blair Witch Project, which I've already seen, but it was good. They were terrified. I just wanted to like get scared basically really oh i was watching my little sisters are they oh you just and you just want to have a mic screaming yeah that's big brother privilege i just like and also my dad's like horrified of horror movies which is the funniest part he tries to act every time we watch horror movie like try all of a sudden he's like super busy with work and he's horrified and then he like tries to like he's like one of those people that like tries to like make jokes through the movie to like alleviate the tension yeah because he's scared he's just making jokes for

himself yeah that's my least favorite thing don't go there yeah yeah he gets so scared blair witch is scary too because it's like you don't like the whole time you're waiting for something to happen just the anticipation of a shock yeah but there's never a shock i've never seen him bro so spoiler you never get scared during blair witch no you're scared the whole time but it's there's nothing shocking there's like no pop-ups or anything but the whole time you're like waiting for a pop-up huh yeah and were they uh did they wind up scared did it work on them who got more scared your sisters or your dad my dad was probably scared i think my mom was a little scared my mom doesn't really get scared from that shit but my sister my little sister said that she was like i

wish i didn't watch that because i'm terrified also we just moved to like an old ass house haunted oh yeah yeah big time what are. What are there creeks, pipes? Creeks everywhere. Yeah. Every step you take the whole house shifts. Oh fuck. I don't even, I never want to live in an old house. No, it's like it's nice but like it's terrible. I was sleeping with the lights on.

Are you serious? Oh yeah. You're grown. Dude, it's a scary house. You could beat up a ghost. Also I would have been watching an American Horror Story and it's a scary house you could beat up a ghost also i would rko a horror story and it's just a lot it was a lot you're just scaring yourself to be scared you don't like are watching scary shit so you could just walk around scared in your life no i just enjoy watching scary movies and i i really you've seen hereditary right uh a24 ari oster I don't know what A24 is I still don't know what A24 is but uh

there's no way that's true I mean I guess they're just a company that makes movies yeah but like they make like so many movies and also it's like a meme on the internet like people make fun of A24 what kind of movies what's the general consensus about what they're making fun of like it's just cause it's like a very like film

film person thing to be really into. Who's banging your line? Reggie, the on social guy. Oh, jeez. You want to answer it? Yeah. All right. Yo. On

Wednesday night. Okay, no show tonight. We're rescheduling for Miami? Yep. Alright, cool. Sounds good. Alright, let me know. Well, well, well, Sass.

Looks like we just bought some time. Yeah. Awesome. We were up against the schedule. Fabulous. Dude, I feel way more relaxed now. Whenever I have something else to do that's just impending, i can't even just really lock in when it's with deon sanders yeah what do you know about deon sanders well i know he's the goat yeah he's not scared

of hot air balloons you don't think so he'll fucking jump in a hot air balloon like that yeah it's not surprising no he probably would hop up in a hot air balloon but dude i just don't like the sensation of being scared i like the sensation of being scared. I love the sensation of being scared when you're watching a movie. Why? When you're with your friends and you're watching a scary movie, it's so fun. Why do you like to get scared with your boys? Because it's fun.

Why? It's more fun than being scared alone. One of my friends just watches horror movies by himself. Just because he likes the genre? No. Or he just wants to be scared alone no i think he's just like oh like a new horror movie i haven't seen i want to watch this i like to get brave with my boys i like to watch like moana with my boys oh dude or just like movies

is so much more fun i i want to see that new movie like the candy man it's like it's like a remake of the old one i think yes and you just want to get scared apparently it's really scary and apparently it's really good too yeah it. It's in theaters though, which sucks. I thought we were past that point in life. What do you mean? You thought everything's just going to come right to you? Yeah. You don't like that?

No. I want to go see it in theaters. I was like, we were looking for a horror movie for so long and I was looking for everywhere and then I was like, oh, this movie looks awesome. And then I check online and I'm like, oh, it's in theaters. Since when is that a thing again?

Don't you think that being in theaters would make it a more immersive experience? It's just all around you. There's a spook all around you. Yeah, but like. I also would have just liked to watch the movie. You just don't want to go out. You don't want to leave. Well, I was going to go to the movie theater with my family.

I got you. Do it. Let's go. Let's go to the movie. Let's see it. Yeah, we're boys. Let's go get scared together. Nah's see it. We're boys. Let's go get scared together. Nah.

You can't handle that shit. I can't have you going if you're going to be throwing off my energy while we're there. Shitting your pants. Do you get really scared? Do you not want me to see you scared? No, I don't get that scared. I used to get super scared, but now I'm fucking made of steel.

At school get like white as a ghost i used to get super scared but now i'm like fucking made of steel um we we uh so at at school in chicago for my one year of college they had ari oster who wrote midsummer and hereditary come in okay and he spoke and then we watched hereditary in like a theater and it was like one of the most frustrating experiences of my life because it's like hereditary is like one of the scariest movies of all time and that's like like a very popular opinion like it is a horrifying movie what's undeniably scary what flavor of scare is it every flavor yeah or what's like the premise of psychologically scary like there's like actual horror shit that happens it's really well made it's a great movie really good horror movie and uh and like we're watching it and i've never seen it but i know it's so scary and i was like looking forward to watching it and everyone there is clearly scared too and they're all laughing

during the scary parts it was like a goddamn laugh track going on because they were so scared and they wanted to act like they were yeah they wanted to like they wanted to prove that they weren't scared they're just trying to act tough in the movie theater which was wildly frustrating i'm not fucking scared yeah and it's like the guy who made the movie is here oh so it was like it was disrespectful it was like disrespectful and it was the movie is here. Oh, so it was disrespectful? It was disrespectful and it was annoying. It was just like, just watch the fucking movie. Dude, when I first watched The Joker, I was pissed off that when people laughed at Heath Ledger, it was right after he died.

I was getting legitimately pissed off in the theater. I was like, they don't fucking understand how good he's acting right now. This role literally fucking killed him and they're laughing. This shit is not fucking funny. I was pissed off. You saw the movie in theater? Big time. I think multiple times. That was like one where we kept on going back to the theater

to watch it. Really? Why is that surprising to you? I think I was pretty young when that movie came out. I don't know. I don't think I did. Yeah. When did it come out? Like 2015? Were you dodging bullets at the theater? I went in there strapped up with kevlar let it be known if anyone's gonna try any shit yeah i'm strapped up right now remember when the joker came out and they were like sending police officers like into the theaters were they yeah

nobody getting the ideas yeah because they thought someone's going to shoot up the theater. The Joker wasn't that great. Oh, the Joker. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like an okay movie. I mean, it was good for... Like, Joaquin Phoenix was awesome.

Yeah, I think that that's what people are looking for in the Joker. Just somebody who completely embodies the role and just... They're making a sequel, aren't they? With Joaquin again? I don't know. I think I heard they're making a sequel aren't they with Joaquin again I don't know I think I heard they were making a sequel has it been said that he should have like if he were really dedicated he would have died no one else has probably said that

I don't know if anyone said it but it makes sense it's so funny that Jack Nicholson played the Joker at one point it was like a different role but he did a good job of it. Yeah. Have you ever seen Jim Carrey's impression of him? He transformed.

Yeah. Did we talk about this? I think we might have. We did talk about this on the podcast when we were talking about impressions. Yeah. No, it was crazy. It was because you were talking about your Trump.

Yeah, I know. Which I've retired. I'm never doing Trump again. Why? You listen back to it? I did it in front of my family. They loved it. But I didn't tell them

I was going to do it. We were talking about Trump and I made a joke and I did it in my Trump voice. Fucking paid. Have you seen this? It killed. It crushed. Lil Sass has done it again. The boy doesn't miss. Anytime anyone in my family says Lil Sass

or Lil Sasquatch, I'm like, I'm going to kill myself. It's painful. Why? Do you ever regret it? My mom will be like, we talk about something, my mom will be like, he's Lil Sasquatch. And I'll be like, ugh. Wait, what do you mean? What context?

Who will she say that to? I don't even know. She'll say it to someone in my family. We'll just be talking and she'll say something about me and she'll say to like someone in my family like we'll just be talking and she'll like say something about me and she'll say i'm a little sasquatch and i'll be like is she making fun of you or she's just being like she's like joking kind of people like you but like people want to see him because he's a little sad oh yeah yeah stuff like that got it and i'm like you don't that doesn't sit well with you no doesn't sit right with you even roan doesn't sit right parents call you roan they don't call doesn't sit well with you no doesn't sit right with you even roan doesn't

sit right parents call you roan they don't call me it but they're like yeah when they say it and it's like it's my name it's just like a part of my name yeah but it's not your name bro for roan for roan for roan for roan for it's like tyrone without the tie Yesterday when we were at the At the milk thing There were hundreds of fans Just dying to take a picture with Stool Presidente From multiple levels Even when our boy Wallace who's a producer on this was talking to

the guy who the viceroy who was setting it up he was like yeah i don't know uh dave might even be yeah dude i had some i had multiple people unironically come to me and be like bro get dave out here i was like what makes you think that me and dave have ever even looked each other in the eyes before? Anytime I walk by Dave, we both just look down at the ground and keep chugging along. He looks down at the ground too? Oh, yeah. He doesn't even look past you? He doesn't even look in my direction.

But does he look past you or look down at the ground? Because this is very psychologically telling. Because if you both look down at the ground, you're both just submitting to each other. I think I look down at the ground. Actually, I think usually I just look at him the whole time seeing if he's looking at me and then he just keeps he keeps looking straight in a challenging way or for approval for approval yeah for approval mostly anything you want to talk about but yeah roan basically took a picture of this kid and he was like i think he was joking he was 100 joking would have been way funnier if

it wasn't a joke though he was like was like, just met Stool Presidente. Good guy. It was a very funny tweet. Hilarious tweet. Props to that guy. And I think that he was joking, so it was intentionally funnier, which is even funnier than an intentional comedy. Well, no.

It wasn't. If it was unintentional, it would have been funnier. No denying that. But the fact that he riled up enough people. Yeah. That a lot of people believed it. Yeah, a lot of people. Yeah.

But they just didn't know him. I was sending it in group chats and we were all retweeting it. We should hire that guy. I know, we should. He's a comedic genius. He is a fucking brilliant mind. Yeah, but Rome... Like John Nash on the Blackboard.

But yeah, basically Rome was taking pictures with a bunch of people. No pictures with me. It was because they had me on the mic and they're like he's from barstool nobody even knew who i was these two girls come up to me and they're like do you want us to take a picture with you and i was like uh like i don't know and they were like your name would i help you out because they asked me what my name was i said harry Do you want us to take a picture with you? Yeah.

Feeling a little lonely over here on the side while your buddies get, you know, the snappies? Everyone was like, bro, that'll be you someday. Keep grinding, bro. That'll be you one day. Don't give up on this shit, man. No, they literally were like, do you want to take a picture with you? And they had no idea who I was. They just like knew I was with you.

And they were like, they felt bad. And then they go, was that your first picture you've taken tonight? Was that the first time anyone's ever wanted to take a picture with you? And I was like, no, it's not. I've actually taken a lot of pictures tonight. I'm always getting pictures.

And they were like, oh. Because you know Roan? How do you know Roan? Do you work together or something like that because like you don't work with him right and someone oh you're an intern everyone comes to me like how are you in with these guys and i'll be like ah they don't even know that i have a lot of followers on twitter please someone make i was like bro check, bro, check the fucking charts, dude. Check the charts. Check the stats. Check the fucking charts. You must not pay attention to numbies.

But that being said, though, you go to the New York airport, people are swarming you. That's not true at all. We got two people asked us for pictures. No, three people. Us, bro. As we sprinted out of the airport. Not just me. And when you were in Buffalo i'm not i i don't

care about this i don't care about this i know i know i thought just more of the story of the girls coming out to me and like asking me if they wanted if they weren't like they weren't like can we take a picture with you they were like do you want us to take a picture with you because they felt bad not really this poor boy like why do i need the picture it was uh it was funny watching people come up to me and pretend to know who i was like a guy came up and he was like yo man uh it was like love what you're doing one of the youth preachers and he's like uh yo man i've been following your journey and i love what you've been doing i've been following your journey god's been following your journey and he's rooting for

you bro he sees he was very religious and he god bless y'all but when he said i've been following your journey god's been following your journey and he's rooting for you bro he sees he was very religious and he god bless y'all but when he said i've been following your journey he just like uh recounted my last five instagram posts to me he was like you've been a rough and rowdy oh shit really yeah day you you were on with dion and brett farve and no way he's like i'm following your journey man i've really been keeping up with you and he just told me the last things that i've been i posted that's crazy i respect it though who who were the guys that you were talking to for a while we don't have to say who they are they're never going to hear this ever but you're the story that you're telling about them was hilarious they're part of the podcast thing oh these two guys want to run to come on the podcast their

podcast like just check out our network and we're always looking for new talent so i don't mind people coming up and telling me like yeah check out the podcast they also did have like 10 million followers yeah they had a huge following it was a a group of uh very nice gentlemen but the one dude was saying that uh he was like we have a we have a bunch of podcasts i was like oh that's dope like what what kind of stuff do you cover what are your podcasts about and the one dude's like well my stuff is more like going out and relationships and my boy over there he's different his stuff is more like sex bars and like hitting up the bars

it's the exact same thing? These are different things. He's having sex and going to bars. He's a relationship guy. And being in relationships. But it is funny that every... What are podcasts about? What is any podcast about?

Relationships? When we started this and we had to tell sales what it was, they were all like, what's it about? What's the theme? I was like, I have't know. Everyone, when we started this and we had to tell sales what it was, they were all like, what's it about? What's the theme? And I was like, I have no idea. The theme is just getting our voices on air. Just listening to ourselves talk for an hour.

Yeah. Just making ourselves more useful. Getting into just the competitive space and just trying to... The theme is filling my narcissistic hole in my body. Exactly. So put that in whatever category business i don't know business um but yeah it was funny they were like yeah come out to where were they in um i forget i guess they're just out here i don't even know they might be they might go to kenesaw i think that they might i asked the kid he was like yeah everyone here besides you guys goes here

oh really yeah it was just all kenesaw people dude but then one of the kids in that little crew from the net from those people from the network we're sitting there i'm talking to the two viceroy kids for like a while because you were talking to people and uh this kid pulls up in a tesla like a nice ass tesla and that was one of the kids he was they were like yeah he has nine million followers on tiktok really yeah oh and it was one of the kids in that group that's so crazy that's so i mean it's just so impressive it was sick to build a massive following like that and do one of the other people who was hilarious was the guy who was the head of operations. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Wasn't it like a Disney character? Yeah. Just like, uh, just took his job so seriously. And at the very onset, uh,

like the, the host of the show came out and there was a fridge right, right by the battleground where the milk chugging goes on. The dudes went into the fridge, took out two gallons and held them up in the air. Try on smash them. And they exploded on the dudes went into the fridge took out two gallons and held them up in the air triumphantly smash them and they exploded on the ground everyone's going crazy and i'm right next to the commissioner kid and he's freaking out he's like dude we don't have we don't have enough milk for that he's like we're he's like we're short two gallons now because apparently like they those two guys that did it was like it was completely like they planned it out together

they didn't tell anyone which was really dumb in their part yeah but it's also dumb to only have the exact amount of milk but also like why would they why would they not tell like they could have just been like hey man can you spend the extra one dollar and get us two more gallons of milk but the guy had to like he had to like get into a car he had to like run away you just go find a car yeah and go buy more milk. He was like, we do not have enough milk for that. He was so... I've never seen

someone panic that hard. I felt so bad for him. He was like, literally, he's like, my job is getting the milk. He's like, I know what... He's like, I know what kind of milk we have to get. I know where to get it. Best kind of milk to get. It's refrigerated.

It's at this temperature. It was like a ceremony even loading up the fridge with the milk. It was like bringing gold bars into Fort Knox, and they dropped it off. And then these three jocks come out, and they just start smashing all the milk. We don't have all the milk. We don't have enough milk for that. What did they just do? Why is there milk on the ground?

What's happening? Imagine if there wasn't enough milk for the last matches. They would have mutinied. They would have scraped the milk off the ground that people had already thrown up. Put it in the towels and wrung it out into fucking already smashed gallons. They were like sponsors for the event.

They were literally sponsors. And he was like, I was like, so you guys do it, they do it every other month on Monday, Milk Monday. And I was like, so you guys do it like every other month? And he was like, yeah, it really depends on how much money we can get. Apparently it's like, it costs like a fuck ton of money to do it.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Probably not that much, honestly. It's probably just like... If you're in college, it's a fuck ton of money yeah any amount of money not for guys like us oh yeah we're paid getting you dock 450 from my paycheck and i don't i don't even feel it i don't even see that shit no no please i was like brother i'll set one of these up weekly for you guys if you need me to yeah whatever i'll be in charge you need put it on my tab you need papa sass to take care of all this yeah honestly barstool like if barstool doesn't want to get involved like this is a very this is like a rough and rowdy type of thing where it is it'd be cool if barstool got involved

but if barstool doesn't want to get involved like i would like to i would like to get involved with this would you are you gonna go back for the next one do you think i don't think i will just too much travel to travel going on in the fall. Yeah. But if people have stuff like Milk Monday, please hit us up because we're going to be traveling as much as possible. I can't think of anything that would be like that. Unless it's like a food-eating

contest. Yeah, some kind of food-eating contest. But that would be that wholesome. It was like a pie-eating contest. The only not wholesome thing was that they were throwing up that they were projecting they were project out one of the kids the last kid the kid that ate the jalapeno all the throat was just coming out of his nose and it was so fucking gross dude that kid looks like he was in like in like immense pain yeah it was bad for him that's why

after we did the video on nashville hot chicken the uh it just wrecked my my bowels it just wrecked my insides yeah i bowed then i was like i'm not doing i'm not doing food like man versus food yeah it's like i'm gonna i'm gonna make myself feel terrible yeah i don't i'll go to a lot of depths for content i really don't have a lot of shame and i'm i'll be like a a monkey with symbols just like dancing for people. But I'm not making myself get physically ill again. Physically ill, yeah. That would suck.

I have to give that up. Because didn't you say that when you were in Nashville, you'd be like, oh, we're here to try the hot chicken sandwich. And they'd come out with the hottest shit that they could possibly make. And they'd be cackling. They'd be like, ha, ha, ha! Yeah, yeah. Watch out for the toilet later on! Yeah.

It's like, oh my fucking God. And it was as bad as they said it was. I was just like... That's not even enjoyable, though. No. Yeah. It's not. I don't understand why people eat stuff that's going to make them feel really bad.

Fuck Nashville, bro. Fuck that that shit are you serious bro no i want to go to nashville yeah we got to go on a bus with the boys yeah we were talking to compton we got to get down and chill with comp yeah i'd be down to go if it's not as hot as it was as in in the one that you did yeah it was that was bad that was that was blisteringly hot it'll be a little bit cooler later on in the year we'll pop down to nashville i want to go i honestly want to go and i just really want to see their studio where they're like man wherever they do it you want to see be on the on the van what would your dream set look like for son of a boy dad greenery in the background shelves would you what is it boy you hear something i thought it was a dog popped up like lassie because it sounds like a dog um my dream set for the podcast yeah what would it look like well that might be

the uh engineer bringing it up an ironing board i ordered i ordered a fresh ironing board you actually yeah they said the engineer was going to be up with the new one oh jesus um i don't really know i don't't really have much thought on it. You don't think about aesthetic. This looks good. No, it doesn't. This is good. This is the worst. We just go to random... This is a solid setup.

We're in a different area when we're recording every single time. We record in different places so often. Yeah, but it'd be nice to have a set. It'd be nice to have a set it'd be nice to have an a cool aesthetic i think we should just buy the old joe rogan studio where's that la is this trick it out no just use the exact same set is his new set that different i don't watch joe now his new sets way his new sets actually really nice

the there was an in between when he first moved to austin and it was like his studio was like in a spaceship were they just trying to do some uh it's like some crazy shit but like not like a spit like it wasn't like i don't even know how to describe it was like so many like led lights and it was like so dark i i didn't like it at all but then they finally went back to like it's like just like wooden walls it looks pretty good now it looks like you're at like a texas roadhouse that is pretty good texas roadhouse is good as fuck we should go to one is there one here there's oh we should there's one in uh there's one right by the airport in uh in new jersey that's the closest one to new york every time we go there robbie fox is like yeah this is the closest texas roadhouse to new york it's so good he's a texas roadhouse genius he can

like map you know how some people can like tell you like what what day of the month any year was on or like any yeah like he's like that with texas roadhouses robbie fox knows how close the texas roadhouse is to every city that's like That's like Jeff D. Lowe with Outback Steakhouse. Outback Steakhouse is not even in the same league as Texas Roadhouse. What do you like so much about Texas Roadhouse? The food. The buns.

I honestly think it's the buns and the butter. The buns and the butter are so fucking good. They set the fucking tone. Unlimited. I went on my birthday. Did they dance? I feel like they sing and dance. No, then I got, I went on my birthday. Did they dance? I feel like they like sing and dance. No, I didn't tell them it was my birthday.

Oh, really? I'll make sure to tell them it was your birthday somewhere. Well, I was alone. I was there by myself. On your birthday? Yeah. Jesus Christ, bro. We're trying to uplift the people.

I'm joking. Not make people want to kill themselves. I'm joking. Table for one, please. And you're like like strap the hat it's my birthday all alone just talking to the waiter

dude I got a big ass steak it was so good I got like potatoes dude it was so good I mean the beer was just icy cold and then the buns dude the buns my sister actually made those buns Dude, it was so good. I mean, the beer was just icy cold. Oh, yummy. And then the buns, dude, the buns.

My sister actually made those buns and she made the butter and it was so fucking good. You have a younger sister who's a good cook? No, this is my older sister. Oh, got it, got it. I have three sisters. That's a flex. I know. The only boy.

I'm the only man. That shit is impressive as hell. I'm the man of the house. That shit's super impressive dion's banging your line yeah tell him to back the fuck off no he said that i can't record with you anymore bro sorry dion's threatened by uh by your your foot speed and everything about it he's threatened on how he's threatened by my intelligence dion knows a lot of people

at Barstool, but it's like he knows the people with names who are alliterations. Who have fake mobster names. Glenny Balls. He loves Glenny. Yeah. There's so many videos of him being like, where's Glenny?

Is Glenny coming today? It's like when people at Kennesaw are looking for dave yeah like they they think we just have glenny in a suitcase where's actually come on out glenny the dave shit was so funny dude because we were making jokes the entire time before we went about being like yeah like people are gonna be like or like i was gonna ask you where dave was like as a joke which we did in the video i mean the video is out by now so if i yes yes if they've seen it i don't i don't even know if that's in still but yeah but then we get there and the first guy comes up to me it's like bro is dave coming

out yeah it's true it's like what life is uh you can't even satirize it because it's just uh it's so real it's so real it so funny. I wish someone would have asked. And then after the fact, we were chilling with this dude who had half a brain. Yeah. Yeah. Really just dived into it, too, right in the beginning of the conversation. He was such a cool dude. And he just...

I had my brain removed when I was six. We were just getting food afterwards. Yeah. We were grabbing a bite to eat at a restaurant and he uh he had met our cameraman before he rolled through and he was like the first words out of his mouth were that like he was like i had a seizure when i was in second grade and then they removed half my brain it's like oh okay yeah so uh chicken tenders and he was like i'm completely uh completely normally functioning yeah i didn't lose a bit

of my cognitive function but then i went in for another surgery and they removed uh the frontal lobe uh like oh really they removed like they had a surgery they took out part of it and he was fine and uh and then he was like i went in for another surgery and they took out this whole part and this other part and i'm still fine it's just like they he's just not that can't be true i mean at a certain point you how many parts of your brain can you lose before you're just not fine yeah he's like he's throwing off parts of his his brain the brain is like the appendix he's chopping off you can't just be picking parts off like he's in a hot air balloon throwing bags of sand just getting rid of no but it was it was literally like right when we got there right

when he got there i'm sitting down in his chair yeah i like he like showed up i like went to the bathroom when i came back and he's like yeah and there was a tumor and they removed it it wasn't cancerous luckily but they did have to remove it and i was like damn things are moving quick over here you're just getting right into it and then we were talking about dakota king and i was like yeah this guy's talking like this like he's talking to a bag of milk like this guy this guy it was like he had less of a brain than you yeah yeah i was like fuck that might have but he laughed he was a very good sport he did laugh yeah obviously he didn't chop off his sense of humor while they were

playing fucking operation operation brain yeah no yeah he, yeah. He was a fun guy. I honestly didn't know who he was while we were there. I thought he was like one of the sound dudes, like one of the other freelance guys or something. He had a mustache

and I honestly don't think I would have been cool if he was around if he hadn't had a mustache. I mean, didn't we invite him? He said he just got it two days earlier. But he just freshly got a mustache.

How do you freshly get a mustache? Well, he just had freshly got a mustache. How do you freshly get a mustache? Well, he just had shaved into a mustache. Yeah, yeah. A brand new mustache. Guys like you and me will never know, man. No, I will. You won't. Bro, my mustache is way thicker than yours.

Bro, you're 10 years older than me. So you think that you're ever going to get your mustache in? I'm definitely getting my mustache in. It's never come yes it is dude my dad had my dad can grow a full beard yeah i'm gonna have a mustache you're not yeah i am you think i'll look back on this in like five years and i'll have a full mustache it's just never gonna happen for you some uh like obama never got a mustache some dudes just never get mustaches some dudes not me obama didn't get one are you better than obama i already basically can grow a mustache i just first of all i shaved trump can't grow a mustache bro he definitely was the last president trump

definitely can grow a mustache don't you fucking say that. How fucking dare you. You're right, bro. Obama couldn't and Trump could. That was the change that we needed. George Bush couldn't grow one. Clinton couldn't grow one. Do you know if these people actually couldn't grow them or do you think they just were clean-shaven? Realistically, they probably were just clean-shaven.

There's no way any of those dudes could grow mustaches. George Bush looks like someone who could grow a beard. Then how come nobody in his family has any facial hair? Dude, there's no way that the last five presidents could not grow mustaches. Ted Cruz is the only one who can grow. Ted Cruz will be the next president who can grow a mustache. Nobody else is really even capable of growing a mustache.

I think you're wrong. I'm trying to think of anybody. Now I'm just picturing all these people with like, like they all just have completely no facial hair. Exactly. Obama had facial hair, didn't he? Like at one point? He had a soul patch for a little bit.

No, Obama could definitely grow a mustache. Yes, he can. No, he can't. What are you talking about? I feel like Trump didn't have one piece of hair on his face. He got laser surgery. Laser hair removal. He was tired of it.

I want to get laser hair removal on my ass. Really bad. It would save me a lot of trouble. You do shave your ass for a disproportionate amount of time every day this phone will shut the fuck up dude seriously have some respect for the podcast my phone's on vibrate you don't think my shit's not buzzing like crazy got 10 different people hitting me up right now are you still like kiddo sauce state yeah when are you getting back into the office bro we need you here. Fucking porno online.

The numbies are going down fast. We need you back in the office. The ship is sinking. We're bucketing out water right now. We need you back in New York. Get on the next flight. The pirate ship is sinking rapidly. Get here now.

You just throw down the mic and just hop on the next flight back to to new york back to hq i keep on thinking that i thought that this was going to come out today for a second i was about to be like um i was about to be like yeah make sure you guys check out today's episode too i forgot we aren't live we should have just done this live would have been awesome oh put it out live? No. That's not possible. We're recording it. So then why the fuck did you say it? I don't know.

I was just saying. I think I missed the act a little bit, bro. Yeah, just being able to talk to the people as it's happening? Yeah. I just miss being able to plug our podcast on it. I do love plugging the pod. I know. It's just such a...

It's so exhilarating. And also that fucking family feud shit that they're doing, like, looks fun as fuck. What is it? Good thing they started doing that right when we left.

What is it? They're playing family feud. That's bullshit. On the yak. What the fuck? We never get to do anything like that. That's fucking bull. Are they trying to cut us out?

I don't know. I'm tired of this fucking shit. I think they're wedging us out. I don't, I don't like being wedged out even a little bit. No. No, shit. I think they're wedging us out. I don't like being wedged out, even a little bit. No, no sir. I had to drive from Mississippi State all the way to New York.

Where the fuck are we right now? Atlanta, bro. Jesus Christ. Well, I don't even know what fucking hotel I'm in these days, bro. I'm just fucking jet-setting around, man. It's just suitcase after suitcase to hotel room to hotel room, bro. I know. I'm just fucking jet-setting around, man. It's just suitcase after suitcase to hotel room to hotel room, bro. It's a lonely life.

That's my Instagram bio. A suitcase and a fucking plane, bro. And that's a fucking fact. What was that noise? I don't know. That didn't sound good, though. Sounds like the computer just went... Sounds like...

Let me make a call right now. Make sure that we don't completely lose the video. Sounds like we just lost something for sure. Technical difficulties. I'll perform a little stand-up for you guys while Roan's on the phone. Perfect. There's just a weird sound on one of these. It just went...

It literally just happened, though, so we've barely lost anything. But Sass is about to give us some stand-up, and it'd be better if there was no video for this. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah, yeah, we're still going. We can trim it.

Are they... Yeah, can you just go wide on that one? Yeah. All right, we're going to be doing a little bit of a change of a camera angle. Bear us we'll just throw an ad in there oh yes always looking for ways to juice bro producer sass are you coming from my spot as the producer of this show because i'm not trying to be the talent bro um were you about to you just actually went into the stand-up folder let me at least hear something no i don't have anything yeah i just saw fucking 18 paragraphs i saw

premise after premise it was so fucking rich with premises but it's not like i've already done all these jokes on the on the pod if you're writing for the pod, I'm going to be very upset. No, I'm not writing for the pod, bro. This is all off the top. No, I haven't written anything. I wrote this. I wrote a joke about body positivity. But it wasn't funny. So there's no point in saying it.

Perfect, just say it. It's even better. The whole premise of the joke was how it's funny when people post pictures of celebrities when they get fat. And they're like, wow, they're so brave for posting this picture. Like their confidence. I love their confidence. It's really that they just never gave up their ego. It's like, actually, I'm going to need some validation.

No, but it's funny because the celebrities don't say anything about it. But then the people will post that and be like, basically, they're just calling them fat. Oh, when you say somebody's brave for being fat. Oh, when you say somebody's brave for being fat? Oh my god, the Camilla Cabello. She gained some weight or something and she posted a picture. I didn't notice. Neither did I. Someone posted a picture of her and everyone was like,

I love her. She's serving confidence. You're just saying she's fat in a nicer way. I don't think she's fat. But if you're saying that and be like oh my god i love how she still has the confidence to take her shirt off at the beach it's like you're just calling her fat like she should not be doing that oh my god i love that she's brave enough to take off that's to still wear a two-piece bathing suit i would not not. If I was shaped like her, I would not

be dead. Good for her. Honestly, she is really out on a limb right now. I would never do anything like that. Kelly Clarkson is brave for still having a career. Who did everyone get mad at for losing weight? Was that Kelly Clarkson or Adele?

Adele. Adele, definitely. They got pissed. She might have had something cosmetically done to her. She looks fantastic. I don't think she did. I think she just lost a bunch of weight. Bro, of course you're always blaming it on the fucking cosmetics. I said she looks fantastic.

What blame? You don't think a woman can naturally lose weight? I'm saying that her face changed yeah it did but uh yeah people were pissed they were like they called her fat phobic for losing weight didn't they yeah you have to if you're fat ever you have to be fat stay fat permanently otherwise it's a slap in a face that in the face to everybody else who's fat yeah you just can't be doing that yeah it doesn't make any sense at all and it's not fair um also uh when i was uh when i was driving from mississippi yes i listened to this podcast

about uh people living how long people can live yeah and they said there's some people that think that people can live until like they'll be able to live until they're 200s and there's other people who think that once like 122 is like as old as someone can live. The oldest person has been 122. Do you think that people will ever be able to live for a long ass time? I mean, like. Or do you think that I think I would hopefully like, I mean, maybe if they can figure out some way to make the aging process like not as intense, like I wouldn't want to be too like i can't imagine what a 200 year old person would look like yeah you don't even want to see that person on the street yeah

just like shriveled into a bean yeah like you really have there's some way they can figure out how to like reverse that yeah or just like re-up every year so no i don't think anyone will ever live to 200 years old they basically made it they were like the human body will never be able to like you couldn't run a two minute mile so like you the human body will never be able to, like, you couldn't run a two minute mile. So, like, you're not just going to be able to just break the limits of the human body and, like, double the life expectancy. Yeah, I don't, I know. I don't think that that would ever happen. But the lady who lived to 122, she was like, she said she, like, never got a wrinkle into,

like, her 90s or anything like that. She was just, like. Yeah, I mean, they say the first person to live to like however old, I think they say like 150 is like alive right now. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to figure out.

And they also said by the year 2150 that there'll be like 25 million people alive who are over 100. Yeah, like the numbers are skyrocketing of people living over 100 that's gonna be weird

when like people that are like on social media like are 100 or like 100 years old like they're still like i i always thought when i was younger i was like oh like everyone like i can't like it's gonna be can't wait to like get off instagram like all this shit but now you get to an age like you're never getting off instagram or twitter like i'm i'm always gonna be on twitter you don't think that something new will just come along that's what i was no but like i always thought that i would like i always thought i would like grow out of social media right but like i'm not going to oh oh like socially is part of our fabric yeah we're never it's never gonna just like stop you i thought it was like a kid's thing and like you just get you like and you just

go back to video games something like that like you stop playing with it but it's never gonna happen you just start reading it yeah like going to plays and shit like that no you're you're never getting off of this and people are always going to be like it's just it's even going to be like i was listening to uh one of those new artists you showed me one of her songs is about uh like talking about like like i wish like i didn't like go on my phone the first thing in the morning like i want to get off my phone and shit like that it's like i didn't like go on my phone the first thing in the morning like i want to get off my phone and shit like that it's like yeah we're never getting off now there's no fucking way out the the not using your phone in the morning thing is funny because like

you do it once and then you'll you'll never do it again people do love to like anybody who's on some self-help type shit like that'll always be like for like one hour in the morning don't go on your phone yeah like one hour before you go to bed don't go on your phone yeah you're not doing that dude i fucking know you're not doing that you're because you wake up in the morning the first thing you have to do is check your phone you got to see if anything's happening frankie said he was doing that once i know frankie's not doing that there's no fucking way he's like the most on your phone people will be the ones like, yeah, you just have to unplug for a little bit. Dude, when I was in Wyoming... You're not unplugging.

When we went on that hike the whole day, I was getting so anxious. Because I didn't have service the entire day. And it was like a Monday. And I was like, dude, I feel like I'm going to lose my job. Because you didn't have service? Because you were just out there? Because I was like, what if someone tries to get in contact with me?

You might have been going through literal withdrawal. Yeah, I think I was. Being aware of that, though, I think it's the first step of it. Yeah. I want to change my lifestyle and have better habits. So not using your phone and how to do it.

You said, oh, I have to check my phone. You don't have to. It's all in your head. People probably barely be able to hear that. you don't have to yeah it's like yeah people probably be able to barely be able to hear that but it's a lifestyle and it's all in your head it's basically what you're saying that uh you you addict yourself but it's also like people you say that about like a drug addiction or some shit like that like you just you don't you don't have to do it or whatever it turns into like a brain chemistry compulsion where it's like it is but it's like, it is.

But it's like, how do you break that chain? You know what I was thinking about speaking of drug addiction? Let's fucking go. I like the direction. It would be like a funny sketch idea if someone was talking about doing hard drugs in the way that people like. They don't like doing hard drugs in the way that people talk about. They don't like smoking weed. Someone was like, oh yeah, I i tried heroin but it made me it

made me anxious it's just for me yeah i just i was getting super paranoid in crowds i just couldn't like it's just not it doesn't agree if i was alone maybe or like right before bed i'll do some mess but i'm not gonna just do meth in like a group of people. I'll just be like in my own head. Yeah. I just want to, it's just like, I just like to sit at home, be in the comfort of my own home and bang some black tar heroin. I definitely used to think that like early on in the blazing days, in my weed smoking days,

I used to think that, oh, well, I don't smoke alone. I'm not even really smoking. I don't smoke alone. Now, most of the time, I smoke alone. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. And dude, Sass, for being such an anti-weed dude, every time that I'm trying to roll up,

you're like, oh, this isn't a sweet ass joint. Oh, I could roll up better than this. I could. You're part of the weed culture, dude. I don't smoke weed and I could roll a significantly better joint than you. You're like... Since you're coming down, it looks like you took a piece of five gum wrapper and you just twisted it in pieces. And then you're like... and every time you're like, well, no, I rolled this for myself.

Like, this is my own personal joint. And it's never only for you. You end up smoking it with like four people. But I'm not trying to roll a fucking big ass joint. And I don't think I don't think you're trying to because I don't think you can. Dude, this dude is fucking slandering. I'm about to fucking joints hit bro yeah exactly dude you

don't fucking know bro i used to fucking roll up goddies bro i'd be like seven grams in a blunt bro that kind that's my type type time that i was fucking on almost drowned in a pussy so i that's how i was living my life for a long fucking time. We wouldn't even split the cigar. We'd just fucking stuff it with weed, bro. And I moved on from those days. It's called maturity. Maybe I'll someday get it. You'll be able to roll fucking little pieces of Orbit up. You'll be able to roll up some Trident White and get fucking stoned to the dickens.

Rolling the five-gum wrapper. I used to do that. When you first start smoking weed, you're just doing everything that you can to like let people know you smoke weed and i remember being in class just like rolling gum wrappers like joints yeah looks like a joint doesn't it not surprising i think i did that in like fifth grade i must have been it must have been a cry for help because i like left them all like ostentatiously like in my desk like hoping to get caught yeah i did that once and i dropped it on the ground while walking inside my house and my mom found it and was like,

what is this? And I was like, oh, it's just a piece of paper. And she was like, why does it look like this? And I was like, I don't know, mom. I was like, I don't know, I just did it. And then they started thinking, I think that was probably when they thought,

it used to be like my parents used to think i smoked weed and every single thing i did would be like oh this is like one of the reasons we know you smoke weed i'm just preparing the drugs i remember like i went to pick up my paycheck at the restaurant that i worked at and i like went there came back my mom was like why were you gone for so long i was like i don't know what you i was like i was literally just i was in like ninth grade i was like i was just getting my paycheck it's always it seems like no one got more falsely accused than you do i would get you have so many stories about always getting falsely accused of smoking i would get falsely accused like every single time i would go home it would make me like not want to hang out with my friends because i'd be like i know

i'm gonna go home my parents are gonna be like they would like try and act like they weren't trying to see if i was like high but they'd be like looking, but they'd be waiting to make direct eye contact with me. And I would be so nervous, even though I was dead sober. Your parents just don't think you're capable of good, clean fun. Yes. They really don't think that you can do good, clean fun. They don't care anymore. They should have seen you at the milk competition.

I know. That was good, clean fun, and that was you fucking thriving. They probably thought that you were sneaking in a flask to the milk chugging competition i was about to and that's probably why we're in this predicament in the first place because they know that you can't help but but pretend to prepare drugs i mean you go to something like that you're expecting like everyone to be fucked up it's a milk chugging competition with a thousand college students it didn't even seem like anybody had like pre-game dude no i literally we were like oh those people are drinking and i look over

and they have like two pepsis i was like oh maybe they like poured vodka in their in their cans and they were loudly belching and the smell of the belch cut through the milk and you could tell it was only pepsi yeah these people these people were not one soul was consuming any substances yeah they were locked the fuck in. Yeah. Alright. Should we get the fuck out of here? Yeah.

Alright. Should we? Yeah. Alright. You want to keep going? You want to keep talking? No, I don't care. Yeah, I don't want to keep talking.

I don't want to keep talking. Fuck that shit. I haven't... I fucking talk. I talk enough already as it is. Yeah, bro. We're trying to fucking be monastic. We're trying to be like monks up in this bitch and listen to our minds.

All right. Thank you for listening. Like, subscribe. Buy some merch. Buy some merch. Oh, we have new merch coming out. It will probably be out. It will be out by the time that this comes out, actually.

Yeah. This time, actually. I know we said that before, but this time it will actually be out by then. Yes. We look at designs today. It looks fantastic. Buy the merch. Go over to Spotify if you're listening on Apple.

Just bang it on Spotify and go do something else with your life. Watch the video that you just heard about all this. Like the video. Oh, yeah. Watch that video before you watch this. But that doesn't work because the podcast is over. All right. Thank you for listening. Bye. All right. Thank you for listening. Bye.