Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 18 - Giving This & Serving That

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss flying first class to LA, the D'Amelio documentary, gearing up to go to war on the pirate ship & much moreYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All I need is some love tonight. All right, ready? What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is September 7th.

Run it up. This is our second episode this week. Why? Just because. Just because. We just want to give people something. Yes. We just want to fucking, we want to feed the people.

Also, I didn't like the audio on the last one, so this is our way of repaying them. Yeah. The audio, we were trying to do stuff on the road. All right. We're going to keep on trying to do stuff. And one of the mics was fucked up. One of the in the future and that'll never happen again i don't think it's that bad though it's listenable yeah it's very listenable but this one's going to be even more listenable because the new fleet of stories uh anecdotes jokes and advertisements

that you're about to get shoved down your throat yeah you got a new shirt on i do have a new shirt on i went thrift i went to a thrift store shut up yeah l train vintage um no i was in chicago actually okay in wicker park thrift stores are a racket yeah it was nice because the i never like i went to a thrift store i tried to go to a thrift store here a couple times and i couldn't find anything and i went to the one there's a goodwill right near our office and i went there and it was like it was like a luxury goodwill yeah only sold like suits and it's a racket there's they'll like also i'll see a thrifted shirt selling for 85 it's like what are we talking about yeah that ghostbusters video game shirt that i have was 50 bucks that's it's not worth it i

know it's like i like the shirt though yeah that true. You can wear it multiple times. Also, I don't buy clothes a lot. So like, I'm, I'm, I'm usually good to splooge. You're, uh, you've actually inspired me to just rewear shirts more often.

Cause I used to, I wear a shirt and I'll just wash it right away. Yeah. And you don't, you'll wear a shirt like 20 times in a row. And I want to start doing that. I'll wash them. No,

but you'll wear it multiple times in a row. That's not even a subtweet. I'm not even coming at your neck like that i also got a shirt that said i got a shirt that says the korean war it says korean vet and then it says the forgotten war and it has like a map of like north and south korea on it which i thought was cool but then i was wearing it and i was like is this like stolen valor it definitely is yeah i was like i probably shouldn't be wearing this but it's a cool shirt but everybody who fought in that war is dead anyway what are they gonna call you out with their dead asses is it the forgotten war is that what they call it i think it's wedged between world war ii and vietnam

and so uh people just nobody remembers oh i thought you were saying i thought you were saying that world war ii was the was another forgotten war i was gonna say i don't know about that nobody remembers world war ii name one person who knows anything about World War II. Yeah. What was Chicago like? What were you doing out there? I thought, were you in Chicago or LA? I went to LA.

I wasn't really in LA. I went to Santa Barbara and Orange County. Okay. Which they were super nice. LA is a little bit too big for my taste. It just really sprawls. It's pretty similar to New York. LA is?

In the sense that it's just like a massive city. It's just overrun with homeless people. Yeah. Yeah. I respect that. Yeah. I mean, I was never like a huge, like I never had really an urge to go to LA, but Santa Barbara and Orange County were beautiful. It was awesome.

What do you do? Were they by the beach? Yeah. Nice. A little swimming? Yeah. A little partying with the boys? No, not quite.

We didn't really party much. Do you have some seafood? No, none. That's whack. I know. You can't be going by the ocean like that and not having a Mahi. I'm from the East Coast, brother. So that means that you eat the cockroaches of the sea.

No, we have the best seafood. We have the best seafood in the world. How is that possible? The East Coast? How does it have the best seafood in the world. How is that possible? The East Coast? How does it have the best seafood in the world? It just does. No, it doesn't. How?

It does. What makes the seafood better there? I feel like it would have the worst seafood in the world because there's so much pollution going into the northeastern waters. North Atlantic salmon maybe is the only good thing. The pollution adds a little zest. You taste that? That's petrol being shoved into the fish that you're eating. Yeah, it was good.

I mean, the seafood where I'm from is really good. Oysters, Island Creek oysters are very famous. Very famous. I'd love to try one someday. Aren't you doing... Actually, never mind. Yeah, we might do... Aren't you going to... Neighborhood eats seafood exclusively.

That's just a ploy to get to Hawaii. Should be a ploy to get to the East Coast. I don't think I need to cook up anything to get to the East Coast. I don't need to paint any loopholes for myself to jump through just so I can get out to the East Coast. They're very touchy about who gets to go to the East Coast. Not everyone.

You don't want anyone going too close to the Milton offices. You have to get your numbies right across the board. 100K on Twitter, 100K on Instagram board 100k on twitter 100k on instagram 100k on snapchat before you can even ask to go to the east coast is that a thing having like followers on snapchat i don't know actually i don't think it is some people are always like promoting their snapchats it's like here's an idea maybe get a job yeah i'm not gonna fucking motherfucker follow you on snap with your dumb ass nobody wants to see your fucking fleeting message. The Snapchat Explore page is like the worst thing ever.

Yeah. I wish there was a way of turning it off. I don't really use Snapchat, though. They should either turn it off or offer us a show on there, in which case we will take that bag. Nah. Not even a milli? What if they offered us a milli? Nah.

Bro, we just got to wait. Spotify deal's coming. Yeah. I could see it coming fucking we're good we're on will arnett's ass we're on bateman's ass you know smartless you know how when we were in uh atlanta me and you and your friends we were doing the tiktok voice the whole time like the for the boys yeah they're like it's like super happy i saw one that was my grandmom just died yeah i saw one literally i was trying to find it because i screenshotted it and it was like

look at this it was like look at this and then it was just 9 11 like footage from 9 11 i swear to god look at this day that no one will ever forget. And then just 9-11 in the video. Why? I have no idea. They need to have some kind of tone for that voice. There's too much of it. Yeah.

It should just be completely monotone. I mean, I saw a tweet that someone was talking about how it's crazy that people are making TikToks informing people about what 9-11 is. Because the kids on it, I guess, aren't... informing people about what 9-11 is because the kids on it I guess aren't. They don't teach 9-11 in schools anymore. No. They never taught it. You don't think? No, we never learned about 9-11.

They didn't want us to know the truth. Oh yeah, they didn't want people to know that George Bush had a hand in it all. Yeah, exactly. That he was pulling the strings from behind the scenes. Exactly. The books that he was reading to the 7th grade or the 7-year-old class was the the script from al-qaeda on what to do in that he had it upside down though we know what the fuck bush was up to i know so fucking patsy that's sneaky mofo and it's just like his fucking daddy before him that fucking patsy dude he's in

everybody he's in the middle east pocket i know but they're not going to tell you that they're not going to tell you that about we really didn't like learn about it in any way at all because why because textbooks are all inherently old textbooks are always like 20 years from before from we like barely learned about like world war ii because teachers don't know what to tell you anymore yeah we only learn about like wars that happened like 8 000 years ago really yeah because they uh there's like a dark side to every one of the wars. We touched on World War II, probably, but I feel like it was in no way the

focus at all in history books. They definitely taught us about World War II and were like, the Germans did something very bad and put all the Jewish people in camps and the U.S. did something very good and put all the Japanese people in camps. Wait a second.

Yeah. That sounds a little similar. Yeah. Not quite the same level, but also bad. No, yeah. They don't talk about, like, they don't really teach anything about the bad shit that the U.S. does.

That's why you got to read fucking Howard Zinn, A People's History of the United States. That shit will knock you on your ass. That shit will knock your fucking socks off. What were you doing in LA? You go on any hikes? Runyon Canyon? No. And we went on like a little like walk up

like my friend who lives there like drove us to one of his like where he hikes and you kind of we just like walked up part of it and like looked at the view and then turned back. But I don't really know if California is like an area where I would want to hike because everybody's doing it just to take pictures too yeah it's hot and also like the view like looks over like the city yeah and you're just go up to smog level like yeah like i want to worse of a view by the time you get high enough to get a good view i like going hiking and you're

like completely detached from the world yeah not just to have like a better view of the downtown area also there there's mutated mountain lions in LA now. What? Yeah. No way. They're so inbred that they're becoming mutated. That's why mountain lions need to have a more diverse gene pool and they need more shit to fuck. We need to start breeding mountain lions

so they stop getting these genetic defects. Yeah. There's ones with paws on their tails. No, there really is yeah that sounds awesome i know like that sounds badass that's that's something you you shoot for i also feel like everybody i know who lives in los angeles has like a little dog that's almost been eaten by a hyena we saw we saw dogs we saw like these three dogs and they were all barking at each other and then as soon as they walked away i said to my friends like those were the three ugliest dogs i've ever seen

just like ugly ass dogs no one has like a real dog out there they've all got like little tiny yipper dogs that are just uh ugly as fuck and like sticky yeah or they'll have like one of those big ass like poodles which also are ugly as fuck or like a a guard dog that should be like walling off like a junk, like a junkyard dog. Yeah, yeah. Just a slobbery ass Doberman that'll fucking rip you limb from limb.

I want, I want a dog that's, that's a big slobbery beast. You do? Yeah. Ones that are taking shits as big as your forearm?

Yeah, like I want like a nice like Bernice Mountain dog. It looks like the Jurassic Park shit that they're like digging through with the Triciceratops i want

one that could just kill me at any moment if it wanted to because that's how you know if you're really a good owner like you don't know if you're a good dog owner if your fucking chihuahua is not killing you because it doesn't have the option but if you have like something that's just absolutely massive some kind of rottweiler that could just one bite into your jugular would drain you of all of your blood then you know you're a good owner yeah exactly i don't even like the term owner for a dog though i consider them cohabitants and i don't say master bedroom either speaking of dogs um the d'amelio show they have their family has like 10 dogs really yeah the whole show is so fucking weird what uh i wish you watched it i i so i've i've seen a ton of advertisements for it they're shoving it down our throats i

think that it's really time that we stop making documentaries about people who haven't done anything yet yeah it's just like it's like a combination of like so the show starts out the first three episodes or three episodes or so are really like like entertaining because you're like this it's like entertaining like oh wow this is so like insane that this is a thing that it's like funny but then it becomes like extremely repetitive because they don't do anything basically the entire show is just about them like getting hate comments yeah i mean i don't think that anybody should be allowed to be on the internet unless they're universally positive about everything

i think that's the only way and you shouldn't make content unless everybody who consumes your content is gonna love every single fucking second of it you shouldn't do it you just shouldn't be making it like of course there's gonna be people who don't like the fucking domilios like there's everybody has seen them and everybody has an opinion on them yeah but it's crazy that people want consensus on anything yeah it's like the the like the it'll be like so it's so weird like first of all it's very poorly done like the editing is really shitty like you could have done it on like iMovie and then like they'll be like it'll be like them sitting in their in their home like in the in the kitchen or something and like charlie they'll be like where's charlie like is she awake yet and then charlie

will come up out of her bed and then like she'll just be sitting there like on her phone and then like eight comments will pop up on the screen it'll be like charlie should kill herself like literally that's what happens it'll be like she literally and then it'll be like she literally has no talent why is she even famous and then like they don't even address it and then she like put her phone down and they'll eat breakfast and that's their point that she's always reading people people telling her to kill herself so she's at risk to do it yes and then like they'll hang out with their friends and it's like it's like it honestly makes you like feel bad for them because it's like it's so fake like they'll be like they'll hang out with their friends and like there's one

scene where it's like dixie's like we found an app where you can rent a pool for a day and she's like so me and my me and my five friends like we're just looking for like we're really just looking to like disconnect for a little bit and just like get out and like have a girl's day and then we're gonna sleep over at my apartment and like they go to the pool and sit on their phones the entire time go to the pool and sit on their phones entire time and there's a camera crew they're recording everything they're doing so it's like they're not like they're like they're like it's just like so nice to like not be able to have to look out for a camera all the time. Like there's literally like probably like a 70 person crew there right now. Yeah.

Just hovering over you. Yeah. It's so fucking dumb. It's just people can't like people can't blame the negative feedback that they get on the people who are giving them negative feedback. It's just going to happen in the world. Like it's just it's an unfortunate but like just because someone tells you to kill yourself they have the freedom of speech to be able to do that and you also have the freedom of thought to not kill yourself just because someone said it's not like you have to

it's not like a fucking law being passed down from caesar it's like well you have to kill yourself now because fucking joe blowjob 69 said it on tiktok or whatever it just doesn't make sense and like the the best part of the entire show is like the so basically there'll be like a scene usually towards the end there's like a scene of them like breaking down or something like that like dixie will be like i just can't take it like i went to the gym today and and everyone's commenting saying that i look musty. And she's like, just shut the fuck up. And then it cuts to black. And then

this white text rolls in and it's like if you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts and it gives a link to Hulu.com dash D'Amelio's for support or something. So just like another product that they sell? Yes, then we looked up the link

And it's just like a Hulu link to The Suicide Hotline phone number So it's like they just needed that like one extra click Another click yeah there's like a banner ad on the page This banner ad's getting crazy amount Of interaction cause people probably want to kill Themselves from watching these girls talking about Trying to kill themselves all the fucking time

It's like oh your life is perfect And you are so obsessed with trying to shoehorn struggle into your life that you're acting like you're this beleaguered billionaire at fucking 19 years old it's not that bad and it's not that deep yeah it's just like i don't know i feel like some of these kids like they don't have like a lot of the tiktok people they don't have like the traditional like come up in in like media at all because like i mean like one year ago she had like zero followers and then the next year she had 100 million followers like yeah like a story has to have something that happens in it and like a bad guy or whatever but it's like i don't know it's kind of shoddy plot making to just try and make

a story out of just one year of someone's life just because like they you know got got really famous really fast for yeah for nothing like yeah don't save for nothing they're probably watching right now yeah and it's just like i get like i mean i don't know i feel like in most people who do media it's like you have like an opportunity like when you start getting like recognition to be like i don't want to do this anymore like i don't like the attention that i'm getting negative or positive and then you can just back out but like once you're just once you just like clock in at 100 million followers like you're in for life yeah you don't really have anywhere to go

like most most people are following you yeah and then like the parents suck the parents are brutal i mean i would make more jokes about it but like i already i watched tim dylan's podcast about it which was like he he already talked he already made like all the jokes that you can really make on it what are their parents uh what's kind of their attitude are they like stage parents the parents are just like really shitty like you can tell like it all those people all that class of tiktok people like their moms have six million followers yeah and also it's like they were rich as fuck before they even started doing tiktok so the their moms have six million followers yeah and also it's like they were rich as fuck before they even started doing tiktok so the parents are like yeah charlie wants to go out

to la so we're all in out in la now and uh you can tell the parents are just making boatloads of money off of their children and like really enjoying the fame yeah really enjoying it and then it like the like the first episode the last scene is dixie having this like insane breakdown like clearly like she's like scream crying talking to her parents and her parents are just like cuts to like a he cuts to like a like a confessional with the parents and the mom's like yeah i don't really know what to do in these situations because like i've never dealt with this so like we're getting a professional therapist and then like she's like we're gonna get a professional parent to come in and be your parent because i'm more focused on this tiktok thing i'm doing over here and she's like we're gonna get a professional parent to come in and be your parent because i'm more focused on this tiktok thing i'm doing over here she's like mid breakdown

and she's like she's like yeah i'm gonna go i'm gonna go home like to her apartment which is like 10 minutes away and they're like all right that's cool and it's like she's like basically on the verge of killing herself and her parents are just like all right yeah just hop in your car and just they're just like scrolling their phones like what what like, what? What are you going to do? Because there's no way that TikTok isn't equally addicting for them having 6 million followers as it is for her having 100 million followers. And there's definitely parents out there who are like, they're seeing what the D'Amelio parents are doing. And they're like trying to be like these massive stage parents

or like coach parents who want their kids to turn into these TikTok stars. And there's people who are parents who want their kids to turn into these TikTok stars. And there's people who are definitely disappointed in their kids that they're not growing up to be as big as the D'Amelios. There's like other groups of sisters who like dance and their parents are definitely in the background with like a cattle prod being like, do it again. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, 100%.

I mean, it's an easy way to get like money quick. Yeah. Fast money. For sure. easy way to get like money quick yeah fast money for sure just being a parent a parent child combo on tiktok yeah it the whole thing's really weird i mean like we watched it i watched with my friends like the first couple episodes were like really funny and then it's just like it gets so like i can't even like i can't even emphasize how like repetitive it gets it's just like like there's a scene they all wake up and then like it's a scene they all wake up and they're with their friends and they're like, oh my god.

They're like, literally there's a scene where they're like two friends seeing each other and they're like, get any comments that have bothered you lately? Imagine if that was how you greeted a friend. Hear anything depressing lately about yourself? Yeah. And it's just like they're all just so like surface level like just like blank human beings and then like quen blackwell is there that girl

from like tiktok and vine i think she was on vine uh-huh who's like a comedian i get or like does like funny videos i guess and uh seems like her level of intelligence is a little bit like above theirs. Like she seems like she's more of like a normal person. That's tough. Probably because she's like experienced something outside of her phone the last year. Yeah. And so she can't relate. So she's like the preacher of the group.

What? Like like a Hillsong pastor type of thing. She's always preaching. She's preaching on them. Like she's like like they'll wear like a sleepover. And then the next clip is that I'm like all waking up. And like, she's like,

what are you doing on your phone, Charlie? And she's like, I'm reading comments. And she's like, why would you ever start your morning like that? She's like, why would you ever do that?

That's an awful way to start your morning. And she's like, I posted a video last night. No. Also, also should have done that. Yeah. I think the whole thing is probably like a scheme to make

the comments like stop to like make people feel bad for them like in a way but also at the same time it's like they don't really have it hard in any way so they get bad comments but it's like they have literally like like 7 000 different managers they have bind they make binders for them for everything they have to do like throughout the entire week it's so fucking crazy how much money they're making and how how much they're just dedicated to find something wrong with the situation it's literally just like wake up and they have to like be they just have to like go to these things and like do them but it's like they don't do it's not there's no creative process or anything like that like there's a scene where dixie's talking about like her her music career and she's like yeah i didn't really have any um she's like it's she's like

sitting in on them like writing the song with her and she's like yeah it's really nice to be a part of this one because i didn't really have any pro any part of the uh creative process on the first two someone just wrote it saying it for me and i just stood in front of the camera for it and i'm breaking in the millions of dollars off the spotify streams for it and it's and it's like she her voice isn't that good so it's like she's just a face like it's like she has no like i don't know it's anybody who has like a million followers should be putting out music on tiktok like you might as fucking well because there's just such a low threshold for how good it has to be there's just unlimited money that can be made those poor girls yeah so rich yeah it's really

weird the whole thing's really weird i just don't think that there's anybody under the age of like 20 25 who needs a whole documentary made on them no unless you're like dead crazy unless you're dead yeah or like or if it's like a reality tv show like dance moms or like something like where it's like a lot of drama and like everyone's like screaming into those like nothing happens in this show the only thing that happens it's like they'll be sitting there and then charlotte get a dm from someone being like kill yourself and honestly like it almost makes it worse for the people because now they know how much it affects them yeah like if you just want to troll them and and make something negatively affect

them like well you know the key to their heart you know how to make them very sad yeah say she looked a little bit musty on her gym day say she didn't look perfect one time and it's gonna be bad yeah and it's gonna be suey for the gals yeah and it's like the the dad will constantly be like yeah if it ever becomes too much like we'll pull them out and we'll go right back to connecticut and it's like dude that's not like an option yeah don't just pull out of 100 million followers i wonder if there were people like what do you like she would appeal to go to school who are the people that had a lot of followers on myspace like tequila tequila oh i have no idea on myspace i know like vine it would be like i mean like you could like you could eventually like what's happening to those people right now like the people who kind of fall out of um like focus on that type of stuff i mean like so like the magcon dudes were like the most

followed people on vine obviously there's like sean sean mendez was in magcon right was he i think so that sounds right i love sean mendez for the record sean mendez was in it and so was cameron diaz and both of them are like pretty famous people still but like nash grier was like the most followed person on Vine. He had like 20 million followers. And you like look at his like YouTube and stuff now. He gets like, he'll get like 20K views per video. Which isn't terrible, but it's also like, it's just so hard to sustain that type of thing.

And obviously that's going to happen to these girls eventually. Yeah, but eh. You don't think so? I don't know about them. Or do you think they'll just turn into like Kat Stickler? Yeah yeah it's just they're at such a high level of fame that like i don't know if it will happen to them i think it'll happen to a majority of people on tiktok i mean you've already seen it i've already seen it happen to so many people yeah sex tapes only fans yeah it's just like progression like when you're only famous for having for being good looking it's hard to like maintain that

preach bro looks fade no but it's like personalities forever it's like your fan like they like they do meet and greets like they're at like a dinner and like these like oh dixie has fans that want to meet her and it's like two like literally like two like four-year-old girls and it's also like if you're cute as a kid chances are it's it's gonna fade yeah like you're cute for that period of time like think of the kid from jerry mcguire or the kid from the six cents they all grew up to like be weird looking adults like no offense to those people but like you had a great run at some point and then your looks are gonna fade or change or it's gonna blossom into something else you just can't tie everything to that. But they've tied everything to that.

They have. It's really weird. It's like a very weird thing to think about. I mean, like, I don't know. The whole thing is weird. I would watch it if you want, but like I basically just gave you the rundown. Didn't they just put their own show on YouTube

of them like eating dinner together? Yeah. Like they're just... That one got like crazy backlash. And why? Because it wasn't kind of the same type of thing where they're just like with james charles like complaining yeah i think it was i think it was like a i don't think it was probably like a test run yeah they're just trying to do oh they like

uh they were like dicks to the chef yeah there's like some like five-star chef because they had like what is like the what is the snail you as cargo Escargot. And Dixie threw it up. In front of this chef. Shame on both of them though. Shame on this chef for thinking that he's just going to shove some cultured food down these bitches' throats. He should have just made them chicken fingers. Exactly. Let them like what they want to like.

Just because they're rich, they got to like some crazy shit, but also just shame on them for fucking acting like they're going to have a nice chef in and act like they're cultured at all yeah and then just be bitches about it on camera yeah bad looks all around for the gals i'll check it out though yeah i mean it's just like boring like it like i can't emphasize how the entire show is revolved around them like getting bad comments on tiktok it is the worst thing that can happen getting back i mean to be fair, though, you don't like TikTok because of the comment sections. Yeah, but also I don't have an entire show about it.

In a way, I do, though. Give us a little Jim Halpert look at these cameras. He doesn't have a show about it. It's just like, dude, you got to see like it's crazy. It's crazy. It'll be like they'll just be sitting at the dinner table then all of a sudden like charlie will pick up her phone and they'll be like right here they'll be like oh no someone just said i wasn't the hottest girl they've ever seen charlie should be charlie

should die in a car crash or it'll be like it'll be like there's an episode like the whole thing is them predicting it and it'd be like charlie looks at her phone and was like charlie was supposed to die today and then the cuts to the dad he's like i don't even know how someone could have come up with that what are people talking about why would my daughter die today. And then it cuts to the dad and he's like, I don't even know how someone could have come up with that. What are people talking about? Why would my daughter die today? It doesn't even make sense. Yeah.

Physiologically. You're saying my daughter should have died in a car crash today. She doesn't even drive her own car. She's got her chauffeur. So how's that happen? Yeah. Yeah. It's so,

it's just so bad. Well, her car is self-driving. So how's she going to crash? Okay. I'll pull her out of the car right now. Yeah. Oh, man.

She shows me that, I tell her, you're not leaving the house today. And the parents, oh, they're so bad. Didn't they come in here at one point, though? Yeah, they've been in the office. Yeah. They came in here when she had like a million followers. And I think she did stuff with like chicks in the office. When they come in here, we should spit in their face like Vietnam vets coming home.

Yeah. Owen told me that Addison Rae was supposed to come in today. Today? Yeah, but she canceled. Dude, she's one who has a $6 million follower mom. Oh, yeah. That's how she got famous from like doing dances with her mom. Her mom is a psycho.

Her mom looks like the scary. She's like a scary person. She looks like she doesn't blink. No. She looks like she l with her mom her mom is a psycho her mom looks like the scare like she's like a scary person she looks like she doesn't blink no she looks like she licks her own eyeballs must wear those like blue contacts yeah some shit like that and she just is like she looks like she's been dipped in botox like her body can't move like she was embalmed as a live human being genuinely a scary person yeah it's terrible yeah and terrifying but so is addison ray imagine if addison ray just walked in here do you think we would be able to get her on oh i mean well she definitely she knows the singy for the summer there's no doubt in my mind that she knows she might put it all together

she definitely knows singy for the summer but she also might be like a robot where she like turns her head like and fucking lasers you with her eyes just slices you in half with laser eyes she probably has a robot like Jake Paul behind her and it'll fucking twist your head off like a soda top. There's no doubt in my fucking mind. What are you looking up her mom right now? No, I was texting

on asking if you get me a water. Seriously, bro. Where's the fucking production value? We need a fucking agua stat. I know. We got a lot of eyes on us on this pod. We were told that successful pod at the company.

We were recently told that there's a lot of eyes. We were told that they want us to be the next call her daddy and they want us to experiment with sucking dick techniques. They want us to experiment with true crime.

Yes. And just see if like we could put an entire zucchini down our throat without shaving any of the zucchini off the sides. And I haven't been able to do it yet.

Yeah. I keep on hurting my jaw. They're making us do all these test runs where I shove pineapples up Rone's ass. And we could do it the one way. Yeah. But when you put the spiny side in first. It's a bloodbath. It just gets fucking painful.

Yeah. It's just uncomfortable for everybody that's involved. It's disgusting. I went out to Rockaway Beach this weekend. It's just uncomfortable for everybody that's involved. It's disgusting. I went out to Rockaway Beach this weekend. Yeah, for a little vacation? Just to spend the day with some firefighters. I got some firefighter buddies out there.

And as I was leaving, I was getting in the elevator of my building. And some lady was like, hey, do you mind just putting a mask on? Is it okay if you put a mask on? And I didn't mind at all putting a mask on on i feel like that's a fair thing to ask yeah and as soon as i got to rockaway beach i had like my mask around my elbow they're like bro take that mask off your elbow you're embarrassing everybody seriously you're making an asshole of yourself and they just fucking barked me off the ball it's just so crazy how two different sides of like of new y York are just completely different in all of their philosophies about

that shit. That's because you live in Brooklyn. Yeah. Woke, woke, woke city. Yeah. I mean, I guess it is. I guess people are... Are you woke? I don't know. I want to be. I badly want to be woke, but it's just I think I'm more of a pussy than anything

like that. Yeah, me too. Someone told me to put a mask i'm more of a pussy than anything like that someone told me to put a mask on i would just put it on if someone told me to take it off i would take it off exactly and that's the scenario that i was in opinions like within the same day i was like no of course i'll put it on of course i'll take it off you know they're idiots that think that anyway on that other side and later on that night we got back from the beach and uh pretty pretty fucked up and uh we were just like going through just like trying on different like all the colognes that i had it's all super fucked up and we went in the elevator to go uh go out for uh for for dinner that night and there are

other people in the elevator and they like stumbled off the elevator after we got off like the cologne yeah like they they were going through Navy SEAL training where you get tear gas. They stumbled out wheezing, fucking coughing. It almost killed them. Almost just a death by cologne. But man, did it smell fucking fragrant. Man, was it nice.

It probably smelled great. You were probably having people turning heads. Dude, you don't wear cologne, do you? No, never. Why not? I don't wear deodorant. Why not? I don't even shower. I do believe that. Do you not wear deodorant do you? No, never. I don't even wear deodorant. Why not? I don't even shower.

I do believe that. Do you not wear deodorant at all? No, I do. Of course. Are you sure? Yeah. Even with the aluminum poisoning that's going to give you cancer eventually? No, I don't use antiperspirant.

I use, what's it called? I just use Old Spice. Just a regular old deodorant? I love the names of the Old Spice. Captain. Big Dick. Misogyny. Misogyny by Axe.

Remember the old Axe commercials and how insane they were? How sexual they were? Oh yeah, they did. Then it quickly turned and people decided that they weren't attracted by the smell of Axe deodorant anymore is foul but it is crazy how too much of a bad or too much of a good smell will turn bad right away yeah i mean i i think old spice is the one that holds up the most i i actually uh i i was in the bathroom one time recently and one of my buddies had like the

traditional old spice and i smelt it not good really it smells like bug spray what does it smell like brute or something like that it? It smells like bug spray. What does it smell like? Brut or something like that? No, it literally smells like bug spray. That's fucking disgusting. Producer Owen got us some Wawa's. Shout out producer Owen. Yo, Owen. Our free intern.

Don't say that about Owen. This is a good time to talk to you about our good friends over at Vincero. What are you giggling about? The fact that our... Yeah, our good friends over at Vincero

are giving you a beautiful, a beautiful set of watches, and I'm going to find this copy real fast. And I'm going to tell you all about them. I barely need to find the copy because the watches are so damn good. They also have shades. They also have

bracelets. There's an entire collective. I'm actually wearing one of the bracelets right now. It's just a nice, you know, understated... Look, I'm going to give it to you straight. I don't have the copy, though. I would love that. That's how we know you're giving it to us straight. I'm going to give it to you straight

though i got the my shit came in today not my shit my gear uh came in today what'd you get a watch i got a watch and i got sunglasses they gave us two pairs of sunglasses i gave roan one of them one of them the one that you didn't want the one that i didn't want i got the ones that i want you have one that's only because because Ron got a more expensive watch than I did. Both the watches are... I mean, all the watches, Barry and I have never owned a nice watch before, but this one is actually fantastic. It changes the game. It just gives you... It just gives like a little

extra to your outfit. It just takes your outfit just above the threshold that you had it in. Exactly. Honestly, I'm pumped to wear the glasses because I know I'm going to be walking around looking like a fucking celebrity. Oh, you wear your glasses on the train? Oh, yeah. I'm going to wear those.

I'm just going to walk to Upper East Side and just wear those things around and have people take pictures of me. Just looking blind? Yeah. Just looking like Stevie Wonder? Yeah. But he's not blind, folks.

He just doesn't want to make eye contact with you. And if you have fans that you don't want to make eye contact with, theno or if you want to like be around your around your your fans checking your checking your watch to see when the heck you can get out of there yeah it's a good skate it's a good escape you just give the watch look oh i got that thing yes a nice vincero collective stevie wonder is not blind too because he's just wearing blue light glasses he just spends too much time on his phone. He just has bad social anxiety. Yeah, he just doesn't want to be looking at everybody.

He needs to watch the D'Amelio show. Stevie Wonder should watch the D'Amelio show and then he should go to the hulu.com slash suicide prevention with the D'Amelio family dot com. Yes, and vincero collective dot com slash sun. All simultaneously. We'll get back to that. So basically,

Vincero Collective. Yep. It's a whole collective. Product line is deep. They got the sunglasses, like we said, blue light glasses, bracelets, wallets.

We didn't even say you need to have a fresh looking wallet. You need to be looking spicy with the wallet. And they hooked us up with some accessories. Some great stuff.

We all got that online shop. We all got that online shop. We all got that online shop. It can be frustrating. Will this fit? Will it really look like this? Will it be broken in a week? Vincero's five-year guarantee and 365 free return policy has you covered with over 30,000 five-star reviews, features, informs, business insider, news week. Vincero offers you a shopping experience that you can be proud of

yes 50 off applied on entire order 15 that's actually a very good deal but you said 15 15 15 15 off applied on the entire order though that's a that's a good ass deal. Only for a limited time. Plus, they'll cover all the shipping costs. Go to VinceroCollective.com slash sun. V-I-N-C-E-R-O. Sun. Sun. V-I-N-C-E-R-O. Collective.com slash sun.

And they're not lying. They're not lying. And they are not lying. Yes. Thank you. They are not. They've never told a lie in any of their copy. I have some of their watches from I've had them for probably about four years right now.

Still ticking. And I just got a freshie. Those things don't stop. And I just got a new boy. And then they have a deep collection of watches. That's why it's a collection. watches that's why it's a collection done buying your watch make sure you go over to damelio.com slash i'm gonna burn myself alive

and if you're feeling upset at all make sure you go to D'Amelio slash suicidal thoughts with Addison Rae dot com slash Hulu I don't want the D'Amelios I don't want them to burn themselves alive like they're a monk like I don't want them to do that like they're protesting

a war like Tibetan monks but it would give them an incredible amount of street cred i'm trying to find the link oh and when you edit this podcast can we put when it ends i want it to roll to black and then i want the damelio suicide hotline to come up at the end yeah we need to just start linking i might change my tiktok link to their uh to their suey hotline i gotta find it dude oh here we go the damel'Amelio Show Resources. So you got to go to hulu.com slash D'Amelio's Resources.

The D'Amelio Show Resources. These are their resources, too. It's not like these are just the national resources for the suicide prevention. The D'Amelio Show Resources National Suicide Prevention Hotline. And then it's just the phone number. Should we call the suicide hotline? I just want to phone number. Should we call the suicide hotline? I just want to be alive. Should we call?

Hi, I just watched the D'Amelio show. Is Charlie on the line? Can we talk to Charlie? It said on the website that she should be on the line. It says the D'Amelio show resources, so I was hoping that she would be here. She's one of their resources. Tell Charlie I'm at the Brooklyn Bridge bridge right now one foot off the ledge she just cares about her not killing

herself yeah she doesn't care about other people not killing themselves like yeah i mean is she ever is she ever we just need to have our we need to make our own suicide hotline that's like the that's like the highest level of fame you can get. If you just are the one talking people off the ledges? It has the suicide hotline on it, and then right below it, it has a link to their merch. If you are going to kill yourself, make sure you buy some merch, because where are you going to go with the money? Yeah. What are you going to do with all the money anyway if you're going to kill yourself?

And the merch just says, it's okay to not be okay. I mean, it's okay to not be okay. I mean, it's brilliant because if people are going to go out, they should be able to spend their money where they want it to. If any of our listeners are ever considering going down that road, please buy some Son of a Boy Dad merch beforehand. And also go to Vincero.com and get some watches. Yeah. You got a whole collection of watches. go to vincero.com and get some watches yeah you're gonna hold i'll just chip my tooth on the mic you have to you i mean it's just it's the way that you could support us yeah if you're not going to support yourself anymore so just just look out for us you know just uh take care of us that that's

the least that you could do. Pat us on the back. I'm hearing that down in, I don't know, how deep down this road are we going to get? I'm hearing in Australia that nobody's even dying off COVID anymore. It's just people dying off the suey. Oh, really? I mean, it's not surprising because aren't they like not even allowed to leave their houses? Right.

Exactly. Yeah. Fucking Kim Jong-un over there. Kim Jong-un running. Isn't that the guy from your t-shirt? Ever since the Australians have been locked up like racism statistics, like public racism and hate crimes have gone down like 80%.

In Australia? No, in the world. Because they're the only ones who are committing. Why? Aren't Australians like racist as fuck? Probably. I knew oneian dude who was very racist in my entire life so i'm one for one prove me wrong me well yeah you need to meet one other australian dude who's not no go go go go hi what were you about to say no you go you go i just know i know everyone from australia loves meth i know that they have meth and they'll have it as you're leaving the dentist's office.

They'll have a little bowl of meth that you can grab like candy. People are crushing meth in Australia. Probably. They're off the ice. Are they really? Yeah, they love meth because I don't think they can get everything else. They can't get other drugs that are shipped via boats and shit like that. They need to cook up their

own mess like walter white yeah makes sense they love it walter was such a fantastic cook oh my gosh he was such a it was a beautiful chef i'd love to see a bourdain episode about walter white on the stove just anthony bourdain going into the best crack kitchens in america it's actually a really good idea who's yeah Or at least for a sketch or some shit like that. We'll make it happen. Who's got the best Pyrex? You haven't been making any sketches lately, Sass. I did one recently.

I did the New York one. Oh, yeah. And it shit popped. It did fucking numbies at the Waz. It did good on everything, too. It's doing good on YouTube, which is the best case scenario. What's the numbies on YouTube?

100K views that's incredible my brother that's fucking good numbers across the board decent that's decent that's why we need these fucking advertisers to come in here bro we put up love those if we got 100k views on the YouTube for the podcast oh why oh yeah if someone gave this 100k yeah we will show ass crack views aren't even real it's just like you're just like they just like select a video

and they're like this one's gonna do this we'll have the views yeah it's like it's like mocking jay you just get selected it's like divergent you just get picked out of the crowd to be the famous person for that week. The way the internet should work, it should be as long as you're around long enough, you should eventually just get to a point where your views do well. They've made us.

You've suffered enough. Yeah, you've earned it. It's like tenure. It has nothing to do with talent or anything like that. You just make 10,000 videos and you can finally get fame. Eventually, they just place a billion views on your account. That's what happened to Frank the Tank. It's like Social Security.

You just get to like 65 years old and there's a bunch of money in your bank account. Frank's been making videos for like 60 years. He was. He was making like darkroom videos. He was making flipbook videos like before the onset of the internet. He was just doing them via sketch. He made actual sketch comedy. Yeah, he did. Like sketches.

Like an early Mickey Mouse cartoon. Yeah, it's crazy. They had to flip through them, which is just a testament to him. If we do Numbies, we will show ass crack. If we get these episodes to 100k on YouTube, we will show ass crack. I'll show damn near anything for views.

I watched the Val Kilmer documentary this past week and Sean Penn and Kevin Bacon show their ass cracks in the documentary. And dude, people, this was like the late 80s, people had tiny ass cracks in the late 80s. Oh, yeah. Their ass cracks were like three inches up and down. Well, because as time goes on

you start, you're healthier, you start taking bigger shits and then the ass crack evolves with the body. And it creases inwards. So are you saying all young folks have, or is it like... Like back in the day when they didn't have any modern medicine and no one was eating the proper diet,

your ass crack was like the size of the tip of a pencil. It was just... And I wouldn't have believed that unless I saw these guys' minuscule ass cracks, bro. They were a centimeter long. Now, ass cracks, with the amount of GMOs that they're putting into food and the amount of protein they're shoving into our chicken, ass cracks are like a fucking yardstick. Yeah, it's a hole.

It's like half your back. They're just deep, long ass cracks. That's why women wear such high-waisted pants. Yeah. It's because their ass cracks go halfway up their back. I know. I wish my ass ass cracks go halfway up their back. I know. I wish my ass crack was just like smaller. I'm tempted to get laser hair removal surgery on my ass and my gooch.

Are you saying that your hair is what's making your ass crack long? No, I just hate it. It smells. Your ass crack hair? I have a smelly gooch. How are you gauging your ass crack sten stench are you uh like dipping your head between your legs occasionally but it's sometimes i don't even have to when i go hiking it's like my friends are like dude it smells so bad and i'm like yeah it's my ass they can't stand downwind of you i

have to wear like spandex when i go hiking to like trap in the air you have to wear compression shorts yeah you always have to walk in the back of the path. Otherwise, everyone will be able to smell you, which makes you more susceptible to these mutant mountain lions that are going to strangle you to death with their hand on their tail. I read something that the mountain lions can jump like 48 feet. Really? Yeah. 48?

I'll look it up. Why don't you give an impression of a mountain lion while you're waiting? It's not even like that it's not like it's what 40 to 45 feet bullshit that's like three stories want to hear a mountain lion screaming it's so much worse than that, listen to this. Okay. Okay. That's pretty badass. That's pretty badass.

I feel like any animal that can scream really loud, well, not any animal. I guess lions have a tough roar. But isn't it really the males who are doing most of the roaring and they're the least killer ones? Or like a howler monkey. I don't think a howler monkey... Are they the ones that rip your faces off or are they just loud? I think all monkeys do. All monkeys rip off face?

They rip your testicles off and they shove them in your mouth. I've heard that and I've heard that they throw shit around or they'll like peel your face off like it's a tar mask but i also see people with monkeys as pets yeah but then they get killed by them oh you're saying it's just a matter of time yeah there's so many stories of people like trying to like domesticate like beasts and they're like then like they're like known for that they're like oh yeah i have a lion that just roams around my living room and then just like one morning you wake up and the lion like tears apart the whole house and then you look him in the eyes and he murders you that's what he does it is funny which animals you're supposed to look in the eye or which way you're not or which you can smile in front of or what you can't

or which you can put your back to and which ones you can't just stick to dogs and even sometimes dogs will snap and they'll kill the owner yeah they, they will. Said my Uber driver in Kansas City. He told me all about it. Or the children of the owner. Yeah, I got it. And I was like, hey, how's it going? And he was like, good. And he's like, just going to the airport.

And I was like, yeah. And then like 10 minutes go by and we don't talk. And he like turns down the radio. And he's like, I heard this story the other day about a police officer who was out mowing his lawn and his two dogs ate his children alive. And then he just like turned the radio back up and just like didn't say anything so you've been out for a long time today sir yeah you're getting a lot of rides today yeah it's crazy what a fucking i mean those people just don't know how to especially outside of new york yeah uber drivers outside of new york are

just using it as their cheap therapy to be able to talk to anybody about anything. It's honestly a good idea. You can just lay some shit out on an Uber driver. Brandon's pulling his ass out. Dude. And he doesn't even know that we were just talking about ass cheeks. Brandon's ass cheeks were just up against the window. There are just multiple women walking through the C-suite of our company.

Just walk through the hallway. And Brandon Walker's ass was fully out. he's peyton manning at tennessee just put his ass hold the guard is pissed oh yeah he's getting ready to roll he is pissed oh that shit is not fucking sweet brandon pulling your ass out in front of a grown man he's eyeing brandon he's looking at his ass cheeks too he's just staring down. And I can't believe the smear that it left on the glass. It looks like someone just dropped a fucking pudding pop on the fucking glass. Looks like someone just smeared some rich chocolate Ovaltine on that glass. I've never seen such a powdery shit stain coming out of Brandon Walker's gross ass.

Icky. Big icky. Just a disgusting man. Yeah, the guy's got the big ick. But dude, did you see how long his crack was though? Yes, it was very long and we only saw a quarter of it. Right. You know that thing because you know that thing expands.

It was pimpled out too. That shit was gross, bro. He should be tranquilized. Speaking of getting tranquilized. He should have toized. Speaking of getting tranquilized. He should have to spend a day on the D'Amelio's TikTok. Oh, this is a great advertiser for today's episode. Better help. With the D'Amelio family.

Just kidding. The D'Amelio family has no connection to the better help. But people... Real people do go through mental health stuff. And you don't have to go about it like an asshole. You can actually get help in a safe and productive way. You don't have to be an asshole like Brandon Walker is. You can just go to the good folks over at BetterHelp.

There's other options. You can get help. You don't have to go to thehulu.com. You can actually just talk to somebody about your problems like a normal person. And your problems are definitely real and valid. So you can go over to the good folks at BetterHelp for some good online therapy. They promote mental health and well-being. And we are proud to announce that they've added access to BetterHelp for all of our employees as a company-wide benefit.

So, Sass, if you want to talk to the folks about what they're saying about you on the TikTok chatroom forums, then you know what? You can do that. Of course. You can do that yourself. Of course. You don't have to make a whole show about it. You can just do what you need to do to get to a better spot. Life's full of stressors, and it doesn't matter who you are, what you have. Your life is probably going to be stressful a better spot. Life's full of stressors and it doesn't matter who you are,

what you have, your life is probably going to be stressful at some point. So that's why you need to go to the good folks at BetterHelp. It comes for all of us, especially, I mean, seasonal depression comes for all of us. It does. It does. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more comfortable than in-person therapy. And you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback.

You'll be pretty surprised what you might gain from it. See if it's for you. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. And Son of a Boy Dad listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash son. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash son. Son. Get some help. No shame in asking for help.

No, there isn't. And maybe Brandon Walker can get the fuck away from the door and stop lingering. What the hell is going on here? He feels like he's in the fucking waiting room of a fucking pediatrician's office or something like that. They're going to need to get tickets if they want to watch this. Seriously, brother. They want to watch this show. Seriously.

This isn't a goddamn free show. It's not tickets to our downfall. Fucking sell tickets to their downfall fucking first. If they don't know what's good for them. They need some better help. Those goddamn psychopaths. Seriously, better help, better help them. Not that you're a psychopath if you need better help.

Well, you don't. You don't have to be, but if you are, think about it. Seriously, it's cool to be a psychopath these days. The D'Amelios are the ones who need better help. That's a fact. Charlie D'Amelio said she used to have 16 to 20 panic attacks a day nope you can't just call anything a panic that's not possible you just can't call anything that would be the like if you have a panic attack if you have a real panic attack one day that's like

the whole day that that that's what you did that day was oh today i had a panic attack my problem is that like they are already already deemed by society as special. So I don't know why they're trying to go for a second helping of special. They want to be special in multiple ways. It's like society has already elevated you and has deemed you a worthy member of it. You have every type of validation you need. You don't need to go double validation just saying you're all depressed or whatever yeah it's weird because like not that or that i don't fucking know yeah it's weird because like you have these kids who like i don't know it's different

because like it's their life so i get if it's like super just like stressful and stuff but at the same time it's like and it's hard from being like a third party like trying to compare because i know people are going to be like oh well their mental issues aren't bad because they're millionaires and because they aren't i don't know you know what i mean everybody has mental issues yeah it's just hard to like it's just funny that their video that they made is about how bad their life is yeah exactly i think that's i think that's what i was trying to say yeah what it all boils down to it's like things are pretty good yeah you could make a video just being like yeah like this is what we do every day and be like oh brand deal with louis vuitton oh they're like but instead it's like they're like yeah i have to go do that

shoot with coach later and it's like that's all you have to do is just go show up and they take pictures of you wearing their clothes like i guess that's probably like i'm sure there's more that goes into it than that but it's like dude like if you saw it would be like it'd be like create oh this is the damelio family's creative producer this is the damelio family's enterprise like like precedent like they have something for everything like the parents don't do shit the kids don't do shit like dude like they'd be like oh we're gonna make some ice cream like where my friends are coming over and we're gonna have ice cream and then you got you they like pan the camera over to the next scene and it's like like they don't do anything like you can tell the ice cream was set up by like a professional stylist and that's honestly the

goal to not be able to do anything yeah but've reached the end goal. No, I don't think it is the goal. They live a life that I don't even think... It's too comfortable you're saying? Yeah, I don't even think most A-list celebrities don't even live like that. They're super A-list and anybody that tries to argue that they're not A-list. Dude, on a related but unrelated

note, prayers up to our guy Michael Gruen went under the knife, I'm pretty sure. Oh, really? For what? I don't know. Gruen. Gruen. Yeah. note prayers up to our guy michael gruen under went under the knife i'm pretty sure oh really for what i don't know gruen grew yeah prayers up for gruen you just texting with him no say say what you're say what you're about to say i was talking to some guy who grew up with gruen um but say what the context is even though it's still in flux i don't think i'm i don't think i'm supposed to yeah that's why I want you to do it. That's what makes it way juicier when you say stuff you ain't supposed to say.

Yeah, I mean, they didn't say to not talk about it. Perfect, so let's talk about it. No, there's just like a roast of Bryce Hall happening that I was recommended to be in. Pretty fucking sweet. Yeah. Now they just need to fucking make sure that they open up that bag for you.

Yeah, which it doesn't sound like they're going to. Which is so it doesn't sound like they're going to, which is so it doesn't sound like, it sounded like anyone's getting roasted. It sounds like Bryce Hall is going to go away with real high self-esteem because you're not going to say a single mean thing about him without that bag coming through. I know. I want to be complimenting him.

I'm going to fucking tank it. They didn't pay me. So I've already got some, I've already got like, like I'm, I'm excited. But then they were like, there's like sit in guests,

which I probably shouldn't say that. So you, you have to roast the guests as well. Yeah. But then they were like, there's sit-in guests, which I probably shouldn't say that. So you have to roast the guests as well. Yeah, but I don't even know anything about them. Yeah. But then they were like, oh, there's also other comedians that we're talking to. And they named two really big comedians. And I'm like, so you're telling me that they're going? And not getting paid?

They're not. Yeah. They're not. And that's why they shouldn't expect you to do that. Don't play me. They were like, we're not accepting fee. We're not accepting they're not and that's why they shouldn't expect you to do that exactly don't play me they're like we're not accepting fee we're not accepting appearance fees right now what don't try to mcbroom me no i'm not about to get mcbroomed i'm gonna say that actually yeah that you're you got paid less than bryce hall at his first fight about it

fresh out of surgery i'll call him up you think he's like answering phone on the phone? Yo, we gotta talk. Yeah, he's probably like, he's probably got like an IV in, like a morphine drip. And then he's just got like his phone in the other hand crushing deals. Doctor, wake him up from anesthesia. Bitcoin just went down. He needs to sell. We need to flood the market right now.

POTUS needs a tweet put in. I still, I mean, provided that he gets out of surgery Fine I'm sure he will I still want to go out Yeah do you think he's just What do you think he's just getting the microchip removed from his finger That they put in from the vaccine

Oh yeah Of course Only the top Only the elite can get it removed Can get the microchip out Everybody else is just drowning in the microchips They're shoving into their fucking Into the bloodstream

At every single second of the day Yeah Prayers up to gruel but we got to get out to la you think you're going to come on more of these uh more of these trips yeah i mean it depends i don't know if i'm going to be trying to travel like every week true just this is a lot but i'll be going a good bit i think sass doesn't want to be in new york but gets offered to travel all the time and doesn't want to travel like i just traveled for a week straight and it was just like i'm i'm so exhausted so you love new york now the king is home i don't know has decided to sit on his throne i think if i was here during those floods i would have killed myself but i'm glad that i dodged that bullet you would have just drowned yourself once i saw the the train station that i go to every day

with just water just funneling into it yeah full whitewater rapids jesus christ yeah that didn't sound that would have seemed good so then why not just be on the road more why not be a road man because i don't like flying but i don't hate it anymore i mean dude the flight yesterday was so long and i got i was in the i was in one of those seats i was in like the front row where there's just nothing in front of you. You're just looking at a wall. Yeah. It should be illegal that there's cross-country flights that have no type of in-flight entertainment.

No, but there was TVs, but I couldn't figure out how to get it out. It was like under the seat and it was like in this slot. And like some of the dude like across from me did it. And it like comes out and it has like this massive arm. Like it looks like this. It looks like the microphone. And it's like right here. And I was like, I it has like this massive arm. Like it looks like this. It looks like the microphone. And it's like right here. And I was like, I'm trying to figure it out.

And clearly the people next to me can tell I'm trying to do it and no one would help me. I've been in that situation before. Like I've been in first class on a flight and I couldn't, I couldn't like get the arm rest out. And I just didn't want people to know that I hadn't been in first class. I was like trying to act like I've been there before. And I just had to put my Bloody Mary mix on my lap you're like yay man could yeah can you help me out with this they think you're joking you know how to do it bro stop fucking with me i know you're not a first timer are you yeah come on brother i've seen you on one of these

right the first class on this plane was insane it was like one of those casey nice that videos was there's like a pod yeah it was pod fuck i need to get on my casey nice that shit i need to get on each row yeah that's it and they had like a whole thing they could lay down tv was a fucking it was bigger than that tv right there just at 18 or that's that's like a 24 inch full-on flat screen tv they're making and everybody in the back of the plane had to stand up just to accommodate the people in first class sitting down. When we walked through

we had to clap for them. Like the veterans. Ladies and gentlemen please rise for your first class passengers. First class. First class.

First class. They go and introduce us. We all get to like the best part about it is we all get to go shake hands with them. Thank you. They're giving out autographs. Yeah.

They like throw their blanket out to the crowd afterwards. I got the first class guy's blanket. There was a. I got his neck pillow. There was one dude who just like sat down and just instantly pulls out his like notebook and his laptop and he's like doing work before we even take off. And I was like, I wonder what this guy does. Hardo.

I know. Bro, take it easy. Take a Xanax. Guys just want to show off that they're working. I know. Make an anti-mask scene like the rest of us. I know. Did you remember like maybe like a year ago there was some sketch of like a mock-up of a plane where the seats were going to be like standing seats.

No, no, I've never seen that. It was so fucked. It was like going to be one of the airlines. Like one of the airlines wanted people to be like barely. There was like, it was basically you're on a board, strapped into a board. What? And there's just a little bit of weight underneath your legs. What?

It wasn't a comedy sketch. It wasn't a comedy sketch. It wasn't a comedy sketch. Oh, it was a real... Oh, I thought you meant it was a comedy sketch. No, it was a real thing. Oh, I've never seen that. Like, so people... Like the Gravitron?

Yeah, basically like a Gravitron, but rows of it, just so the people in first class could have full beds that they could lay down in. That's crazy. Everybody else is just jammed in like cattle and strapped to them. That's so crazy. You know what pissed me off? Dude, I went to the airport on Thursday to go to LA. They made me check my red bag,

the one that I always bring. Not your red bag. It's like a purse. That's bullshit. But of course, way more massive. They made you check your purse? It has a Nike swish on it, which makes it not feminine.

Dude, we should come out. That should be our merch. A red bag. Yeah. People get a red bag like sass. People get a duffel bag oh dude that's fire merch it was that it was piss i had to pay 35 dollars you had to pay for what i had to pay 35 dollars and then the second time i just said fuck it i said i'm not checking my

bag and they were like you have to check your bag and i was like i'm not going to really i walked away i went to security really yeah of course it was more like i was like they were like yeah you have to check a bag and i was like oh do i really have to and they were like yeah and i was like okay i'll be right back and then i just went and did it i in my head i was gonna be like i'm not checking shit we need to work on you having those moments where you actually uh like instead of just like soft saying like soft nose that just turn into yeses for people or like asking for stuff softly we need you to just start like putting your fucking foot down yeah like even when you were talking to these people being like hey is there any money

maybe i was just wondering i didn't even say that. I said, I was just wondering like if maybe I said exactly what you told me to say. And it's totally cool if not. Like, don't even worry about it if not because like I'll do it no matter

what you say. So I told you exactly what I said. I was like, yeah, I'm wondering what the pay is. And they were like, currently we're not offering appearance fees.

Don't call it an appearance fee. Just tell me straight. Be like, yeah, we're not paying people who are coming. Also, appearance fee just tell me straight be like yeah we're not paying people who are coming also appearance fee is like a demilio type of thing it's not like you're just showing up to stand on the red carpet and take pictures with people like they want you to write like room crushing jokes and like fucking a level roast shit for the rest of everybody don't they fucking get it it's not a fucking appearance fee pay me for my work what type of internship bullshit do they have you on and you and like your buddy at the ranch probably gets paid more than them and he's making fucking three bucks an hour we're not allowed to talk about that anymore i got a hard like people were not happy with me. Who? A lot of people. Who? The four people at the ranch?

No, my friend was pissed. I got some DM from- Charles Manson says we're not allowed to talk about the cult anymore. I got a DM from someone being like really upset. Did you seriously talk about the Kool-Aid that we have to drink? And then, yeah. Just because we're doing a suicide pact doesn't mean it's supposed to be some joke for you to fucking laugh about. And he said that he didn't think it was funny and he thought it was selfish.

And I was like, well, everyone else thought it was funny and it was selfish. Selfish. One of the guys on the ranch said that he thought it was selfish that we talked about the indentured servitude they go through. That was the thing that was annoying because I was like, dude, I was just offending you. It was my friend. But he was like, can you not talk about it anymore? And I was like, sure, I won't talk about it anymore. I mean, it's run its course anyway.

No one gives a fuck. Whoopsies. I thought he was going to quit you not talk about it anymore? And I was like, sure, I won't talk about it anymore. I mean, it's run its course anyway. No one gives a fuck. Whoopsies. I thought he was going to quit though. He's gone. He moved back to Colorado today. So why can't we talk about it? There's nothing else to talk about. All right.

I think we should just take down that ranch though. Yeah, I know. We should storm that shit. People were really mad. I would be mad about the income inequality of the situation.

They were like, this is our favorite place on earth. And you go on your little podcast and you make fun of it. I would be mad about the income inequality of the situation. This is our favorite place on earth. And you go on your little podcast and you make fun of it. We don't like knowing that our iPhones are made by slaves. Okay. I don't like hearing about the sweatshop conditions. My Nikes are made in. I just want to wear my air maxes and enjoy life.

Yeah. They were not happy, but I apologized. Not publicly. Of course. I just apologize. i just say people i'm sorry that people feel that way i was like i'm sorry sorry you're mad about it i was just like it's a comedy podcast also how was i supposed to not talk about it like it was like a big part of my life it was one of my it was one of my few life experiences. You have so precious few. One of my very, very few life experiences. And especially

a true confrontation. Like you avoid a confrontation at all costs. So when one of those confrontations gets dropped in your lap, you have to be able to reflect on it. It's a funny story too. I'm your better help. I just thought it was a funny story. That's all. Yeah, sorry. I have to fill up my potty. That's what I

said. I just had to fill up my podcast. Don't be mad at me. We should end the show with the security guard coming in here and me and him fight to the death. Or just you guys armbar each other back and forth. Just squared up staring at us. Like, bro, I'm not fucking scared of you. I'm scared of him. You are.

He's so tan. He's got a big chest. You can tell he probably benches like 400 pounds you could tell he shits with the door open you a security guard though but you're not strapped up yeah how are you dressed like you're about to go play liberty national security guard but there's there's zero doubt in my mind that he poops with the door he knows we're looking right at him yeah no shit he's a nice guy i came up to him and i asked him if you want to come on the yak and he was like he was like oh no no no definitely not but the guy who's coming in later

today will be he was like the guy who's coming in at seven i was like damn is this a 24-7 operation they're really protecting the fuck out of us that makes me think that we were in grave danger yeah something's happening that we don't know about i saw ebony go to the bathroom and she had a piece on her side. And she was like, yeah, you should probably get one of these. She was like, shit's about to go down. Everybody should be strapping up right now. Dude, I met a guy this weekend at Rockaway Beach.

And I talked to all of his friends and they said that like for the last three years he's been trying to make a militia out of his friends and like every year he'll give people like a piece of weaponry for the militia that he's trying to start up and he'll like he gave everybody a machete one year he gave like a certain number of his friends 22s last year he's trying to fucking actually start a fucking militia we We should start a private army. Yeah, I think that's what a militia is. Yeah, it is. And it's completely protected by the Constitution. It's very constitutional for us to just all our boys to get together, throw on a bunch of camo, get a bunch of guns, paint our faces, and just storm down the middle of a highway and shut down traffic.

Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yes. I mean, Barstool kind of is a militia in its own way. Kind of. Viva. Viva. It's a full army. Viva.

Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Throw the V's up. Hold up your red bag in the air. Everybody put their fucking V's in the sky. We need to throw a concert.

Dave Portnoy. Press. Press. Press. Press. fucking V's in the sky. We need to throw a concert. Dave Portnoy. Press, press, press, press, press. Come to the stage. Oh my God. What if there's like a VivaCon, like Comic-Con? There probably will be eventually.

Did you see the, did you watch the pizza review? The frozen pizza review? I unfortunately did not. Oh really? I watched all of them. How was it? They were good. What do you mean there was a bunch of them I unfortunately did not. Oh really? I watched all of them. How was it? They were good. What do you mean

there was a bunch of them? They did two. They said he was biased and then he did another one with a stranger who was his girlfriend. No way. What uh

let's use the pizza scale and you rank how hot Dave's girlfriend is. Bro you out of pocket. You crazy. Wally. So you refused to rank the boss's girl? Yeah.

Wow. Bro, I could never. That's my brother. I could never talk about one of my brother's girls like that. You're her protector. Yeah. You're his friend first, her protector second. Yeah, she's like a sister to

me seriously if anyone tries to say any shit if anyone even comes at her sideways when dave and her started dating i said if you hurt her i will fucking kill you i said i don't care about whose company this is i will kill you because we're all people first. If you so much as say she looks musty in her gym clothes, it will be hell to pay for you. Yeah. El Presidente de Portnoy. That I fucking promise you. Yeah.

I was like, bro, don't make me call the D'Amelio hotline on your crazy ass. I will be pissed down your leg. Me and the security guard will fucking choke you out if you try anything funny. I want to have this. I want to talk to the security guard so bad. What did they tell you? What did they tell you is going to happen? It's eerily close to the

20th anniversary of September 11th. I know. And they're just hiking up the security here. Yeah, what? There's a security guard on the third floor too. Is there really there really yeah and what are they like trade watches like they're centurions i think they have what's it called they have a uh my watch has ended no literally and they just like put out their flame there's a night watch guy who sleeps here somebody just patrolling the hallways some like doofy ass guard with a

with a flashlight what was that you know night security has to be the dumbest fucking people i know you just like roll a ball past them like what the heck was that oh some scooby-doo ass guard yeah i wonder if there is a night security guard that'd be interesting i also wonder how much of responsibility he has like if there is a night security guard. That would be interesting. I also wonder how much of responsibility he has. If there was a crime went on, would he be in charge of solving the crime? If we did a whodunit, say we had a clue type of setup.

He's not a private investigator. He kind of is. Should we get someone? I want to know. I want to do a crime and see if he responds to it. I'm going to bring a... Actually, that's... Never mind. I'm going to bring a, actually that's nevermind too far.

A gun. I was going to say, I was going to bring a shotgun shell in and just place it next to it. Or just drop it. Just like, see how it's like if he responds to just the dropping of a shotgun shell. Or just walk in. I'm like,

Hey, I found this in the elevator and just toss it to him and just keep walking. Make sure you like totally fuck with his head. Get it real hot before. Yeah, it feels like a live round. I don't know though. What do I know? You're a line of work, right?

This shit is hot. We're like, I pretend I have no idea what it is. What is this? I found this in the I found this in the men's bathroom. This shit is on fire.

I think it's like a rubber bullet or something. Yeah. I don't know. It's like a battery or something. I don't know. I don't know what to do with it. Anyway, I got to go. I got to know. It's like a battery or something. I don't know. I don't know what to do with it. Anyway, I got to go.

I got to go film the group chat. Anyways, the rundown starting. They want me to do the third chair. Just making sure we're safe. Just make sure no one comes in and kills me. Just kidding. Just playing with you, buddy. I wonder also what his duties are.

Like, does he have to jump in front of a bullet for Dave? And how far down the line does it go? Does he have to jump in front of a bullet for Dave? And how far down the line does it go? Does he have to jump in front of a bullet for Big Tennessee? No, definitely not. At what point do you... Jack Mack? Oh yeah, 100%. Do you think there's a list of employees that he would have to...

There's a list of employees that he should jump in front of the bullet for, and then there's a list of ones that just let it happen. Let it happen. I'm not actually obligated to jump in front of this one. How much equity does he have? None? Oh. Oh, no, no, no.

Let him go. Use him as a human shield. Jake Marsh? No. Light him up. Imagine. Oh, I am imagining it. I'm imagining it so vividly that I'm actually having to edit in my mind of the people who I'm thinking about this because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings when I fantasize about them getting lit up or not because this guy's discretion.

What level of fame do you have to get to to get a private security guard? Like, do you think, like, isn't it weird that Dave doesn't have one? Didn't you say he's going to start getting one? If this was happening, I would get one. But feel like dave is the kind of guy too that would like hate his private security guard yeah they'd be getting in like fights all the time drake uh said he just got one he said he doesn't keep that thing on him anymore because his security guard has that thing on oh wow which makes me think that drake i hope he's not lacking bro i hope they didn't catch the big homie slipping. They didn't, dude. You listen to Aubrey's new shit? Oh, yeah.

I was going nuts, bro. I texted him right away. Yeah, that new Aubrey was crazy. His music video was so good. Yeah, it was just him and KY Leonard. It was so funny. Do the Kawhi laugh real quick. Uh-huh. I saw that Aubrey was messaging you, seeing if you listened yet.

Did you ever get around to it? Yeah, I blocked him. Yeah, needy. Needy behaviors. I know, I was like, bro, I told you I was on vacay this week. Needy hours. I told you I was on vacay and you're going to go hit my line like that. He's giving beggar.

I know. I was like, Aubrey, why are you serving beggar right now? Oh my God. And then I sent him a screenshot back of me listening to Donda. And I was like, keep this shit up, bro. Now he's giving jealousy. Keep this shit up and I'll turn the replay button on the playback. Was that real?

The Kim Kardashian? The muted stories. Did she actually do that? Yeah. She posted a bunch of stories listening to Donda and the volume was all was all the way down she's fucking drake she's fucking fucking drake she must be made on the right made a left slept down the block put the song on mute and you know drake is just laying it down yes well there was that one stripperpper like seven years ago who talked about what it was like to fuck Drake. Didn't she like, isn't she like have a kid with him?

No, no. That was another stripper. He does. But this was another one. I think they said that he loves to eat pussy. Of course. He's on some Stu Feiner like 15, 15, 30 shit. And then that his dick is like a Coke can.

That's awesome. I would imagine it's like this. Or no, but they said it's more girth than anything. Oh, really?

So he's a chode? No, I mean, well, maybe not than anything, but it's just like... Drizzy has a chode. Drizzy's choded up. Drizzy's got the chode. Drizzy's got the chode.

I heard... Slept down the block. Made a right. Got the chode in my lap. I just read a TikTok comment that says you look like Lena Dunham. Me? Yeah. And that's what made you laugh like that? Oh no.

No. I'm calling the D'Amelio hotline. That shit's not right. Just kidding. I don't even... I'm like looking up... I just want to be alive. Bro, I don't care what people say.

He went from a milk video to a bag of milk. I don't care. Just like that. Just like that. Kept on the block. Who can relate? Chode in my lap. I made a right.

Who the fuck are you? I wonder how many people are like making videos like the TikTok dudes like dissecting the Drake album and the Kanye album. Yeah. Every line. They actually did say that the people like hosting the event, like broadcasting the event, are these two TikTok podcast dudes. And I assume they're probably people that would do that. Who just break down lyrics.

When Drake's head made a right and made a left, he was describing him walking into Kim Kardashian's room. Was Kanye there? Was it a three-way? We'll never know. Drake's dick looks like a tomato can recent anonymously leaked source states that drake has the coke oh

anonymous anonymous anonymous source leaks that drake aka aubrey has a penis the size of a Coke can, more girth than anything. It's like a very quick cut. You know what I'm talking about? There's a podcast like that. I've seen so many podcasts like that. I don't even think they have a podcast. I think they just make TikToks. Is it even videos or just... It's just like super, super quick and they talk so fast.

I bet there's people who don't even know this is a podcast. Oh, probably not. They're just in there watching TikToks, scrolling TikToks, which I guess I do respect that, but also, listen to the podcast.

No, of course. Listen to this shit. We're saying goofy-ass shit. I always see a top comment, and it's like, what's this podcast called? You dumb motherfucker. You fucking idiot.

Look me in the fucking eye. Use your goddamn brain. It's in the title of the account or we're hashtagging it. Yeah. Son of a boy dad. Son of a boy dad podcast. Listen to it. Live by it.

Do you smell burnt pizza right now? Yes. Are we simultaneously dying? Did the good folks over at the ranch come and fucking add us to their suicide pact and they're going to fucking give us a simultaneous stroke right now? There's a burning smell going on and the security guard is on all fours right now trying to sniff it out the source. Where is this coming from?

Stay down! He starts shooting at the toaster. Yeah. Doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof. I want to see what we could, like, what would set him off. Like, what if we just started like we went into the podcast And we started playing loud ass like gunshot Sounds from a speaker or like smoke bombs

There's no way like that gets out of here In a second there's no way he's like I'm Standing I'm standing my standing by my post Not this guy there's security Guards that are yeller and he is Not one of them this dude is fucking Badass but he's also So badass that like he's going to be

an authority figure who I'm going to wind up fucking with. If he's not going to come on these shows and play ball with us... He said he would. He said he just needs a couple weeks to get himself more confidence. To clean his gun. Which I feel like that's honestly bad. I feel like he shouldn't be biased. I feel like we should have a security guard

in here who has no idea what Barstool is and does not care what it is. He just only wants to kill. Then save. There's nothing greater than kill. Because if he learns the hierarchy, if he finds out who's doing numbies, he's going to save different shows differently.

What if he's big into Part of My Take and he's not a big comedy guy so he doesn't sound like a boy dad? Right. Or what if he's always trying to save this bit and chiclets guys but they're never here to be saved. And he just like ignores us.

And he suddenly, he starts to resent everyone else in the office and they're like evacuating the office. That's not good. That's not good at all. It is freezing in here. We're getting to the weather, the weather portion of this.

No, but I'm just getting like the chills. You're literally wearing it. You're wearing a sweater right now. It's thin brother. It's a thin is it you're you're giving cosby you're giving jerry seinfeld what on earth does you're giving cosby mean never never say that to me with that sweater you're definitely giving cosby i'm serving i. I'm serving Seinfeld. I love this sweater.

It's the first time I wore it today. Yeah, you're serving Seinfeld. And I was like, we're going to record today. I should wear something sexy. Yes, bro. I feel like Aubrey right now. Too sexy for this world. I'm too sexy for this podcast.

Like, I feel like the sexy levels are kind of getting outweighed here. You're going to have to step it up next episode. I need to do something more sexy, bro. You don't like my Ed Rendell John Street 2002 shirt that I tie-dyed myself? The fuck are you talking about, bro? You never tie-dyed anything in your life. You're serving homeless right now. You're giving homeless

vibes. I hope that us saying giving and serving is like what kills it. Kills the podcast? No, no. What kills is giving and serving. Oh, yeah. Like I hope that we're like the fact that it got to us.

We should start saying it a lot. Giving and serving is choogy. I have like I've heard people say it in real life. And every time I'm like, oh, I didn't know people said that. Actually. Like, oh, that makes't know people said that actually. Like, oh, that makes me super uncomfortable.

Yeah. Oh, that makes me want to call the D'Amelio hotline stat. Yeah. We should call it. But the thing is, if we call it,

do the police come? No, no. It's probably not a funny, it probably won't be funny. It's not funny. It's not worth calling. It is.

It's kind of funny to call and say that we like saw the, we wanted to see if the we're gonna pick up let's just do the sketch of it yeah let's just make let's just not involve someone who like his job his actual job to save or like if there's limited numbers on the hotline and someone like can't get through because we want to get our jokes off true there's only three phone lines yeah the other two people have been on the phone for hours, like contract or like hostage negotiating people.

And we just can't help but to get our let's go. Yes. Actually, no. Should I say it or say it? Say it. Say it. Say it.

What was you going to say, Owen? It could have maybe had sales. I don't know if the sales team would have loved what I was going to say. Say it. I was just going to say we should call all our phones and clog up the hotlines. Go to one of our other sponsors. But we'll remove that.

No, we shouldn't remove that. We don't remove anything from this goddamn podcast. Never have, never will. Except for when Rowan says things. Except for when Rowan goes back to his rap battle days. I'm the true edgelord of goddamn podcast. Never have, never will. Except for when Rowan says things. Except for when Rowan goes back to his rap battle days. I'm the true edgelord of this podcast. You're the one who's brand safe. I know.

You're the one who's so worried about your career. This guy's just worried he's going to get canceled. Me, on the other hand, I'm a shock jock. What was that, bro? Why are they taking pictures? I'll say anything. Get that ass. Yo, flipped him off, bro. Yo, what the fuck? Fuck them, bro? Why are they taking pictures? I'll say anything. Get that ass. Yo, flip them off, bro.

Yo, what the fuck? Fuck them, bro. Those fans, get security on them. Hey, hey. Over there. Those two. I want to watch him. I want someone to come in here and just watch him just lay them out.

Yeah, we need him because he's given such on edge. He's serving such on edge. Well, he's serving security on edge well he's serving security he's serving security guard but i want him to like he has too much tension and energy that i want him to like tackle someone like he's his job duties in real in reality are really to just be like a passive like mall security fat blob security but he's walking around like he's actual secret service and about to fucking tase somebody in their neck I want him to okay no like

he actually seems like a nice guy talk to me seems like a nice guy but no offense to him Ebony and Enrique's job probably just got so much worse like because it's not only going to be him it's going to be different security guards who are just going to have to stand by their desk the whole entire day and he's just leaning up on their desk if there's just someone

in front of me just leaning on my desk at all times. And they're just like making small talk the whole day. Hell no. Hell no. Hell no. We should be like next time. Let's go over and let's describe what KFC is wearing. I'll be like,

Hey, that guy has a gun. Lay his out this is not a drill there's a disturbance of a gunned man and he just puts kfc on the floor he just legs nothing i have nothing against kfc just i just want to see it happen to someone of course you don't have anything against kfc no you shouldn't have even had to say that you don't have anything against kfc i shouldn You shouldn't have even had to say that you don't have anything against KFC. I shouldn't have. We don't talk about people on here unless we don't have anything against them. Yes.

That's why I brought up Big T earlier. Yes, exactly. Unless it's the D'Amelios, then I have everything against them. Exactly. It was crazy when I was watching it and then I saw a comment pop up and it was from me. On the show. And it said, I want you guys to drive your cars off of a cliff.

And it just said Lil Sasquatch 66. Send me a video when you do it. There's two. One said, why are they even famous? And the other one said, I'm going to cut the brakes on your car. This I promise you. I'm going to kill myself and then you outside of your

house and this is how i'm going to lay down in front of your car when you're backing out if you don't kill yourselves i'm going to kill thousands of people i'm surprised you can post like a like don't you think like you can what i'm surprised you can post is that what you're laughing at what happened well that's what you were like fuck you fuck you're laughing at owen bro something funny go on you're about to get your ass beat i don't even remember what i was gonna say you're surprised you can post i'm surprised you can post um like like don't you think someone could easily find their house like someone could like image search like the location or like the just like the interior design and find

it on like Zillow. It's a golden age for stalkers. Yeah. There's never been a better time to stalk. Have you ever stalked someone? Like and showed up at their front door? No. With a weapon? No. No neither have I. I've had a stalker before. Like a real one? And this was like I was in college then they found like this was like early

this is when you were in the battling game no before i've ever even rap battled once so how they stalk you they like found my number on facebook or something like that like uh this was early face so this was just they simply just had like they were just like appealed by you i don't know yeah they would call my phone number and be like do you wear nike shorts oh it's probably one of your buddies no it was like a stranger because i thought it was i thought it was my buddies and i like freaked the fuck out i was like going fucking nuts on everybody because i had like a certified stalker they like that's crazy reverse searched and found their phone number they were a frisbee golf instructor from canada and i'm not fucking kidding that's crazy i think it was the

dude's name like Dustin Fournier or something. No. I think I just did. Dustin Fournier. I'm pretty sure his name was. He's a Frisbee golf instructor from Canada. Dude, doesn't the security guard look weirdly like Dustin Fournier? Oh my god.

Imagine. What if we threw him a Frisbee? Hey, Roan. Remember me? He's like, all right, well, my shift's coming to an end. I have to go to get to Frisbee practice. Oh, my God. And he looks you dead in the eyes when he's saying it.

He just perfectly... I'm back. He throws a Frisbee into some chains. You thought you got rid of me. Do you wear Nike shorts? He looks you dead in the eyes no but i mean like what even could like he could kill you that's the that's what you yeah what could he do what could he do just like kill me right in front but it wouldn't even be that scary at this point like if just a grown man kills me it's not going to be that scary. I feel like that's like...

You don't know the security. You don't know what he's been through. He would have to really kidnap me and torture me to put me through a long period of fear. Like if he just killed me,

killed me, it would be fine. That's facts, bro. As a man... You ever think about just like what's next? Like what's next after this fucking simulation

bullshit that we live in? Seriously, probably just the next level of the simulation. I know. Dead ass. Bro, why are you serving philosopher right now? You're giving Plato right now.

You're giving Socrates right now. I'm giving Socrates. Alright, should we wrap it up? Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. I have to piss my pants. Alright, thank you for listening. Bonus episode, of course. Light work, though. Light work.

Light work. More bonus episodes. More life for the dogs. More life. We did all the ads, right? Oh, yeah. Anything else you wanted to advertise? Merch.

Buy merch. Buy our merch. Barstool.com slash store. Go to the son of a boy dad section. And then, obviously, if you're experiencing any negative thoughtscom slash store go to the son of a boy dad section and then obviously if you're experiencing any negative thoughts anything go to hulu.com slash demelioresources.com

yes thanks for listening bye peace thanks for listening bye thanks for listening bye bye bye