Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 2 - Pilot, but listen to it 2nd

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss fitness, comedy, tiktok and moreYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, let's start now. All right. Fuck yeah. Sass, it's time for you to have a podcast of your own. Yeah.

It's time for you to have a podcast, and I've been thinking about categories for you, and I think fitness is the category. Yeah. And then you're not only you have a successful podcast, but you're also in stunning shape. Yeah. I mean, I've been working out for like three years now probably. Like I think I started working out going – or senior year of high school. And I'm 20 now. And I've made little to no progress. It's so hard to make progress working out. It's actually bullshit.

I've been consistently working out. Yeah, I just need to eat more But I also just don't want to get fat, so Yeah, it's terrifying to get fat But at the same time Starting to work out is one of the hardest things ever Like even telling people that you work out In your first couple years of working out

Is kind of Kind of sus I mean, I I think if I just Like I just never like time it right Like you're supposed to bulk in the fall Going through the winter, and then you start cutting in like the middle of the winter towards the spring. Why? Because you put on a bunch of fat.

Well, you don't put on a bunch of fat if you bulk the right way, but you put on a decent amount of fat, and then before summer gets around, you can cut down. You're talking about bikini season. You're talking about a season. Before summer gets around, you can cut down, lose all the fat. And then you're supposed to just do that every year. And then progressively you get bigger every year. I've always participated in bulking season, getting fat in the wintertime. But I've never really gotten into the trim enough.

I feel like there's so much that you have to do to actually fucking get like a sweet bod. Oh, yeah. You have to do so much. Yeah. You have to like – I don't know. Like the whole counting your calories thing and stuff is just so much. It's such a – like I mean apparently like there's ways around it like where you can like – if you just like know what you're eating and stuff and you like are really like informed on what you're eating, it'll be a lot easier. But it's part – it's got to be part genetics and it's got to be just like working out way more.

It's definitely a hundred percent. It's definitely a big part genetics because I have like one of friends, like he works out too and he were like pretty, we're both pretty skinny guys. And he like, he'll like, like all he has to do, like he'll like go out and drink a bunch of beer and like eat mass gainer. And he like won't gain fat,

but he'll just like gain a flick. You gained like 10 pounds of muscle. That's bullshit. Honestly, I hope he gets fat as fuck. Yeah, no, I hope he won't.

He won't. Cause his dad's not fat at all. Really? Yeah. Like he, he, he's never going to be age. Yeah, no. I hope he won't. He won't because his dad's not fat at all. Really? Yeah. Like he's never going to be fat. What do you think about people who like have breeding in mind when they pick a partner? When they're like – Oh, like genetics.

I want like – Why? What did Chet – No, I know. I said genetics. Oh, I thought you said Chet Hanks. What did Chet Hanks breed? A Ross Clod.

Yeah, like genetics or like uh gene variants like i had my my one boy who's like he's like french and something else uh but like he he was like i need he's a white dude and he's like i need to i need to marry a black woman for gene variants like i need my like i need only dominant genes in our children yeah and i need to – and there's definitely people who are like, I'm about to have a fucking buff-ass baby. I'm about to have a hot-ass fucking baby. I'm doing this simply for genetics. Yeah, I don't know. I think that's probably pretty insane to do because I feel like you can have good genetics even if it's not like – even if you don't think you're going to end up having good genetics.

So there's always people who are like two ugly ass parents. And the kid is like – the kid has good ass genetics. But it's not good genetics. He's just a hot kid. Like where do hot kids come from? I don't know. I have no idea. Do kids just wind up hot or is it always of two hot parents?

Or what about like a smart nerdy guy that has a fucking trophy wife or something like that? Or a smart nerdy woman who has a trophy husband. I mean, I don't know. I think it's probably pretty hard to actually, like, control what your baby ends up looking like or their genetics. I don't know. Because you might wind up trying to have, like...

I saw a TikTok of this kid who was, like, training hard so that my kids can have good genetics or something. And it was like, that's just not how genetics work. Yeah, you can't will your way into it. Or you can have like one of the signs of hotness is like having your eyes far apart or something like that. But like if two parents both have their eyes far apart or like a perfectly symmetrical face, couldn't it double down on having your eyes far apart and suddenly your eyes are

on the side of your head like a fish and it looks like you have fetal alcohol syndrome when all your parents were trying to do is make you like a really hot baby yeah yeah i mean i'm assuming it could get fucked up in a lot of different ways but like at the same time though like you want to breed hot to make sure that your your kid has a chance to become a tiktok star like all the tiktok stars like you got to think that anyone who's at like not only sway house but what what's the other house that's, like— The Hype House? There's, like, a bunch of— No, but what's the other house?

The third one. The dudes are always getting lampooned mercilessly for their little dance that they have in a row. I don't know. I know the Hype House. I know the Sway House. There's, like, a— Something else, like, Charge House, like, Power House or something like that. Oh, there's, like, the—

Fuck, I don't know. There's two— Something electric-sounding. Electric House. I don't know. I'm trying to sounding. Electric house. I don't know. I'm trying to think. I know there was like one house of these girls, and then they all like left the house because apparently they were getting like forced into doing a bunch of like content, which I don't really get the whole like being a TikToker and being like stressed out about the content because it's like it's not really like – they're like, oh, yeah, like I had to – we wake up at 8 a.m. and do these TikToks, and it's like what – like it's just you're just dancing. But you have to – I mean it's – have you ever watched that movie Jawline I watched I watched like half

of it the Bryce Hall one Bryce Hall's in it yeah it's like Bryce Hall before Bryce Hall was Bryce Hall yeah but there's like uh it's super fucking weird there's like a sassy 15 year old that's like yeah that's in control of all of them yeah but that's what I mean like that's probably where they're getting stressed from it's like sassy 15-year-old kid or Michael Gruen type people who are like, come on. We need this content. We'll fucking turn this shit out. People are hard-charging 15-year-olds. Yeah, that documentary was kind of depressing, super depressing.

Yeah. Because, of course, there's the ones that make it, but then there's like a 15-year-old from rural – Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe like younger, like 13-year-old from rural Tennessee who's like, I'm really doing it. Like, I just need to get my positivity up. Yeah, so it's all – the main kid was, like – would always talk about how he was, like – like, he would just, like, go live, and he'd be like, I really don't want to do this. And then the camera would go on, and he would be like, just remember to stay blessed, everyone.

It's tough because these kids have to like sell something before you have like any interest or like a market like if you ask the kid like and he was honest his interest would be trying to be as hot as possible but like you can't sell that so you have to sell positivity but it's like you don't even know like you're you're hormonal you can't even be positive because like your body chemistry is going to make you super depressed one day or super excited another day yeah it's fucked yeah i mean the the the tiktok kids like uh they go i mean i know like even josh richards said that like the tiktok kids like they fall off very easily i think they become like outrageously famous and then like a week later like no one knows who they are but i also kind of take like umbrage with the fact when i'll watch people being like, so Josh, how did you blow up? How did this all come to be? And he'd be like, yeah, I used to study the algorithm for four hours a day.

Yeah, that's such bullshit. First off, studying the algorithm means that you just scrolled on your phone for four hours a day. No one actually knows how any of the algorithms work. Yeah, you weren't studying the algorithm. studying the algorithm he said that he was like yeah i think like posting five tiktoks a day is um he's like he was like they were like when because me and tommy did an episode of bffs like we were like did it before it was like a thing and dave didn't like us wait what do you mean like me and tommy were supposed to be like the brianna of the show shut up yeah and you got cut and then we got cut yeah and uh and tommy was like uh josh what do you think like what what do you have to

say about like the algorithm and he was like i think posting five tiktoks a day is um the ideal number but it's like anyone who's posting like real content can't you can't post five tiktoks a day it's not like you can't make yeah you can't make like five funny videos a day unless you're like fucking like no one no no you can't do it no matter what you're not going to be funny that many times like gary v posts like 500 videos a day but also it's like he's just like a hot teen you know what i mean like do you want a secret it's just like be a hot teen like it's not there's it's it goes back to the genetics but like it's impossible like even like it is possible to come up with five funny ideas in a day or say five funny jokes. But just to, like, be filming at all times and, like, have it be exactly right, it's just not tenable.

Yeah. I mean, I guess, like, you could have, like, a bunch of other – like, I don't know. You could cut shit up and make five posts a day, I feel like, if you have, like, a podcast or something like that. I don't know. Yeah, but they're not all going to hit. No. You know what I mean? You just have to – the ticket to winning is being hot as fuck and being able to just lip sync a song, knowing the words to a song, being able to memorize the words to a song. My Instagram Explore page now is just all TikTok.

Really? It's like TikTok is just everywhere now. Because you're trying to act like you're off of TikTok and just going to Instagram, instagram but you're just getting tiktok content that's been repurposed for instagram yeah but like instagram is not like the instagram reels a lot of them suck so it's like you're not on instagram i don't know tiktok it's like i deleted tiktok and then i downloaded again but like i'll down a million times no no i only download tiktok when i when i have something to post why because it just it's so bad i can't no it's not i hate it why you hate it because you have a love-hate relationship and you're frustrated with it because you like should be doing better on

it no i just like i feel like i compare myself to everyone on it and i'm like i who like i don't know there's a bunch of funny people on tiktok there's too many funny people and i'm like i'm just gonna stick with twitter people like me on twitter that's all i need who are some funny people that you've been watching who's like a funny person? Put me on to some people. I don't get any funny stuff. I just get dudes being like, if you want to shred your chest and have the biggest titties,

these are four exercises to do. It's like four exercises that are five reps of each. They're like the best calisthenics exercises to shred for the summer. It's like exercise that just no normal human can do. Right. Like the flagpole.

The flagpole. It's like no one can do that shit. Doing muscle-ups. Guys just crushing muscle-ups, which is a dream come true for some people. For me, yeah. I have consistent dreams of me doing muscle-ups. The funniest people out there right now in terms of videos terms of like videos online are probably like Ben Marshall and – do you know Ben Marshall? Is he the dude that does a bunch of shit in his apartment?

Yeah, Ben Marshall and Martin – I think it's like Martin Herlihy. And they have one other friend, but he doesn't like have a Twitter. But they're like a sketch comedy group. Like apparently they do live sketch comedy like all around New York. So you're comparing yourself to a live sketch comedy like group of friends. No, I'm not like comparing myself to them. I'm just saying. But they're hilarious.

They are hilarious. They are really funny and they do almost everything from like their own living room and like even the way it's shot. It's like kind of like a dirty angle or whatever. But like why would seeing that make you not want to be on the platform? Oh, it's just too much content. Like I don't know. I feel like I'm more productive when I don't have TikTok. Like yeah, last night I read.

What did you read? Charles Bukowski. Charles Bukowski is someone who I'm like only familiar with referentially. Like I know the type of person who like reads – even like saying Bukowski without the Charles kind of seems like a try hard move Bukowski people don't like him because he's like

super not a good guy what type of shit is he talking about they try to cancel him really which he like should get cancelled probably but he's also dead

and it's also like old ass books like takes place in like the Great Depression what is what's the book what book are you reading what's it about

I've read a couple I've read a couple of them. I read – the first one I read was Ham on Rye, which was like about him growing up in the Great Depression. It was super good, very entertaining book. And then I read – What was entertaining about the Great Depression? It's like – it's not about the Great Depression. It's just him growing up in the Great Depression.

Like his family is poor as fuck. His dad is like crazy. It's good. It's a good book. And then – Okay. I'm going to take your word for it. Yeah. family's poor as fuck his dad's like crazy it's good it's a good book and then uh okay and then your word for it yeah and then i read uh factotum which is like it basically takes place right after that and it's just like i don't know he's just like uh the way that he writes that some i forget

what the word is but it's like it's basically just like dumbed down like but like more mature like it's like it's like a little kid could read his books and understand what's going on but really it's like just like more mature like content because that's one of the things i hate about older books is that i just like i'm not trying to fucking i took a shakespeare class in college and it's just like i just can't like i'm not gonna why am i trying to force myself to understand this when it's not in like a fucking like good writing yeah shouldn't be hard to know yeah me and my friends were talking about that this weekend we were like saying how it's just like – it feels like when we're looking back on English classes and stuff. And it's like there's so many – I don't know why they don't just change the curriculum because half the books that we read suck.

It's a fact though. Yeah. There's a reason that no kids like reading. It's because the books that we're reading are terrible books. There's plenty of good books out there that people would actually enjoy reading but we just don't read them i had a high school class where we read like uh fight club and like train spotting yeah that'd be cool which is like a way and it's the only shit that i remember reading yeah like i remember like the like like we read the outsiders in like seventh grade it's like everyone loved it and everyone's like oh it's my favorite book

it's like yeah because that's the only good yeah you could read through it and there were like people getting stabbed in it i liked i liked uh like huckleberry finn and tom sawyer i thought those books were good and i mean i get why we read like shakespeare and stuff because it's like the foundation of english but like but like besides yeah i know but it's like besides that we read so many books that just suck yeah terrible books do you think that the outsiders the kids and the outsiders they would have been like hot on tiktok oh big time yeah they were like hot kids yeah like for sure who was in the outsiders uh soda pop no no who who were the actors in the movie oh oh uh the uh it was like fucking rob low yeah rob low yeah and like emilio estevez and some shit i love rob low i think he's a hilarious dude he uh he went on Joe Rogan.

I don't listen to Joe Rogan at all, but I listened to Rob Lowe on Joe Rogan. I listened to the whole thing, and it was super entertaining. Is he sober? Isn't he like 30 years sober or something like that? He's very sober, yeah. He said that when he was on the set for The Outsiders, they were like 14 or whatever, how old he was. And the producers – you could, cocaine off the producers. Really?

Yeah, like, and it, like, wasn't, like, illegal. Like, the producers were allowed to sell. I mean, it probably wasn't legal in terms of the law. But, like, duh. It was encouraged by the director. Yeah, but, like, the directors and stuff didn't care. And, like, yeah, he was just saying that, like, if he had, like, one glass of wine, like, he'd end up, like, fucking licking cocaine out of a stripper's asshole or something by the end of the night.

I fucking bet. Yeah, I bet. There was definitely like a long period of time where he was just like if you were young and hot in Hollywood in the fucking 80s like that, there was nothing. There was nothing to stop. Yeah. Yeah. There wasn't even age to like scare you. Like there was nothing.

There was no deterrent for you just like having as much sex and doing as many drugs as possible. Rob Lowe was in it. Matt Dillon was in it matt dylan was in it uh uh ralph macchio the karate kid was in it tom cruise was in it patrick swayze was in it emilio estevez francis ford coppola directed it it's a star-studded cast that's a fucking deep cast yeah rob lowe was fucking but he he he had to be was he the main character? oh he was Soda Pop yeah I honestly don't even remember the movie at all

yeah I don't either but I remember the fucking book because it's one of the only ones I read yeah good ass book you think Bukowski would be on TikTok? no why? I don't know

I don't think he like I don't really know that much about him when he was younger you read his biography pretty much I thought you just learned about him it's all like exaggerated but like he didn't get like famous until he was like old as fuck you think that that's better probably i mean probably not he probably i think he lived a pretty miserable life yeah he just fucking hated himself yeah when he could have been getting sucked off in san pedro he could have been getting fucking loose and fucking Cabo San Lucas

and fucking getting sucked off by thotties. Charles Bukkake probably never ran into a thotty in his life, dude. No, he definitely did. I think he fucked a lot of prostitutes. Yeah, those aren't thotties. Those are fucking ladies of the night. Those are working women.

Those are sex workers who are to be respected. Did you know that comedian that came into the office? What was his name? Chris Long? Is that what he said his name was? No. Was Chris Long a different comedian? Chris Long is a football player.

Oh, okay. Why? Who was that? Are you sure that's not what he said his name was? Something Long. It was something Long. Sam Long, maybe? Sam Long, comedian.

I looked him up. Was he funny? I didn't watch any of his shit. I looked him up. We were on the air. Didn't he look like he was from Nashville? He had a very – Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Like if he walked in with a cowboy hat on. Comedian – Oh, Ryan Long. Ryan Long. Does he have numbies? Does he do numbies? He's got like 90,000 followers on Instagram. I don't see his Patreon. The best part about patreon is i love how you can see how much people like that's how i did that's how i determine if they're funny or not how much money they make on patreon it is

probably a pretty good litmus test like if people are willing to pay for you like if your shows are sold out if people have listened to you and they're drawn to your music or driven to your music based on what you're saying or your fucking whatever, your comedy shows. Are you about to get on Patreon? I wish we did Patreon for the Yak or something like that. But he makes – he has 492 Patreon subscribers and he makes $3K a month. Ryan Long does? Yeah, which like $3K a month is still like a fuck ton of money.

You think it's a fuck ton? For Patreon. But don't you have to give a fuck ton of money. You think it's a fuck ton? For Patreon. But don't you have to give a fuck ton of that to Patreon? No. Maybe. I don't know. I feel like you have to give like 30% or some shit. No.

I don't think it's 30%. I made a Patreon a really long time ago, and I just didn't post anything on it. I got like 10 subscribers, and they still pay me every month, I think. They do pay you still? That's the best part about Patreon. I feel like if you establish an audience on Patreon, you're gonna be set for like no one no one unsubscribes from patreon it's like five dollars a month i've been subscribed to tiny meat gang which is like cody co and noelle miller's podcast on patreon for like since i was in like like freshman year

of high school or something i don't even even doing that podcast for that long i think it's like four years four or five years you think they actually have small dicks? No, probably not. I met them. They're super, super nice guys. So probably big dicks then. Big dicks.

Yeah. How do you, how do you quantify if someone is a tiny meter or a pack and hogs? Is it just like how confident and calm they are? I think it's a personality thing. So you think you never think that there's anybody that's like really like frantic and like has like a fucking frenetic energy about them that has like a massive hog. You don't think that there's anyone's frantic like that.

They have a tiny. Really? Yeah. And just only. And at the same token, you don't think that there's anybody that's just like super calm and like lazy that just has like a fucking tiny like thimble penis. You don't think that there's anybody that's just like Jabba the Hutt just lounging around all day and fucking doesn't let anything bother them you think all no i mean i'm sure there are people like that there has to be there has to be someone out there like that there has to be there's a a an anomaly in every circumstance but man you always wind up wondering

um what's your guilty pleasure uh content that that that, that you consume on, on TikTok? I don't, well, I don't consume anything on TikTok, but if I had, if I had to. If you had to. Um. While you think about it, I'm going to tell you mine. It's when people sing in, uh, in parking garages. Oh, really? I fucking love that shit, dude.

I fucking love it. I don't think I've even ever seen that. Really? Yeah. People will just like sing under like an overpass or in like a parking garage and it'll like reverberate or whatever i'll get the fucking skin skin crawling the fucking hair standing up on my on my arms one time i was in uh new york and i was going somewhere and there was a guy singing like

it wasn't in a parking garage we're just thinking guys like there's a guy there's like dudes singing like trying to get money and and it was just shot. Usually those people are decent, but he was just bafflingly bad. He sucked? I thought you were going to say he was really good. It was so uncomfortable. And he was singing a cringy-ass TikTok song. And I just remember being like – that was the worst secondhand embarrassment I've ever gotten in my life.

Dude, but there's people who are pretty bad, and they'll film themselves singing in the New York subway, and then people will talk shit on them. And instead of their singing being their content, the people talking shit on them will be their content. So it's like the built-in sympathy play where people are like, fuck those people. You're actually sweet. You're good. Don't let them get you. Don't let it bother you at all. Yeah, you're actually, like, sweet. Like, you're good. Like, don't let them, like, get you. Don't let it bother you at all. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

The whole singing, like, I don't know. I remember one time I was in Europe and there was a dude who was just, like, holding a guitar. And he had his phone plugged in playing, like, a guitar song on the speaker. And he was, like, pretending to play it. And I was like, that's just such, like, a funny idea. It's kind of funny. Yeah, it's actually a great idea. But singing is singing is like singing is inherently cringeworthy singing i i mean i feel like singing is like cringeworthy like you can be good at singing it can still

be cringeworthy yeah that's what i mean it's always like you like know someone like if you ever like like i said there's always like some from like someone from like high school posts like a singing video it's always like super uncomfortable but yeah it's like singing singing is definitely the hardest thing to like I would be most afraid of putting something out there

like if me like singing like trying to be like good at singing it's just like most people aren't gonna listen to it and if they do like it's like

it can be cringeworthy even if it's good it is no matter what like no matter anytime you're singing it's like automatically it's cringeworthy it's automatically cringeworthy

which is tough yeah even like if you're super successful yeah like fucking just going in and just like having the confidence to do it is like there's something wrong with your brain if you just like go in especially if you can like look someone in in the eye and like sing to them like uh like you like you ever see people at like a record uh like like a record company and they'll like jump up on the table at the record company like playing their music. Oh, yeah. Bobby Shmurda did that. Yeah, Bobby. But like I think everybody is expected to do it because like Bobby Shmurda did it.

And then like there's like some like super white like execs in like button up suits that are like trying to like vibe to it. But everybody looks like so fake doing it. The person who's on stage or on the table, the conference room, has to have something wrong in their brain to not feel shame themselves. You should be feeling shame in that situation. Is that a thing at a record label? You have to play their music in front of them? Yes.

How fucking weird is that? That would be super weird. How fucking terrifying is that? But I think a lot of the times i think that's like a famous story about usher when he was like coming up that like they had him like sing in front of like he like came in with a meeting for like la reed or some shit like that and then the dude like brought in like three secretaries and when it was like sing and then they're like yeah usher like got down on his knee and like started singing to these women and then kissed one of the women on their knee oh that's so weird wait what he kissed her knee like what the fuck does that mean like how is that what got him in a record contract that he

was like french kissing someone's fucking knee he was just licking up some fucking secretary's knee that he had never met before when he's 14 she's probably 23 and it's like that's the mark of what makes a fucking great entertainer that's sad that would be terrible i i i i've i was thinking about this recently honestly i think i would rather like bomb doing like a stand-up thing or like doing stand-up or something like that like definitely it would be so much less devastating to like bomb doing stand-up than like bomb like singing because like i feel like there's a lot of room for improvement in terms of comedy like for the most part no matter what yeah and it's like in the eye of a beholder like good comedy it's like you could get the joke or not

get the joke but like with singing it's like singing it's like you either got it or you don't like yeah i mean i don't know maybe i'm wrong i don't know anything about singing but everyone can tell if it's good yeah like as soon as you hear it you could tell if it's good like there's different strokes for like a joke can be referential and like you could not get the reference or something like that i'll be honest i bomb doing both things i've like sung badly in front of people fucking uh done bad stand-up comedy in front of people to no laughs i've even like like... I feel... I mean, I've never done stand-up, but I always just think I would do it and I would forget all my jokes.

Yeah. Yeah, it's terrifying. I mean, I know I've seen people that like bring out like paper, bring out like a sheet of paper with their jokes on it, but I feel like... Which I think that shit is...

That shit looks terrible too. Yeah. And it's completely accepted by comedians for them to be at an open mic and just like pull out a notebook and just be like, what else? What else?

I mean, you probably should have memorized these. Maybe maybe we're doing like 20 minutes or something but like even so fucking 20 minutes you shouldn't get to 20 minutes unless you know your shit i guess there's probably not a lot of people that do 20 minutes that have that have to bring on a piece of paper but they really might be but comedy is to me it's always weird that people are telling a joke more than once i think that that that's faking it. Really? That's faking it, honestly, to me. That's bullshit. Oh, I don't think.

I think that's completely normal. I think that's acceptable. I mean, I know it's acceptable, but to me, that's like you know that it's going to work. Or you're working on a joke. Well, I feel like for some stand-up comedians, it's like they're doing that to perfect it so they can get a special or something. I know, but to me, I feel like unless you're coming up with the shit on the fly, it has a little bit less of a – it doesn't hit as much for me. Or just the fact that they're like – Yeah, but have you ever seen a stand-up comedian do –

have you seen a stand-up comedian do the same joke multiple times? Yes, and it's weird. Yeah, it is weird. Or you'll go to the fucking comedy cellar in New York. I had a buddy that worked there, so we would go through a couple times, and he's – by the fifth time we went went through he just stopped going down to the show because like he had seen all the people do the jokes before like seeing someone do the same jokes for the second time yeah it was like super weird i don't know yeah that would be weird i mean yeah

i mean yeah i i get that i mean doing like stand-up doing like a like doing like a big tour as like a big stand-up comedian would suck probably because you'd probably just do the same material the entire time for the most part, like a tour. Right. You're just staying the same shit. I saw it there writing new material for that. Right. Unless you're just doing – unless you're a crowd work beast. Like, you have to be just –

Who was that comedian just recently that's getting canceled right now? Tony Hinchcliffe? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was really bad. That was, like, Kramer. Like, that was close to Kramer level of, Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was really bad. That was like Kramer. That was close to Kramer level of uncomfortable to watch. But he has like the –

He does like a roast show, right? I've seen him do the roast battles in LA, and he's like one of the best roasters. Yeah, yeah. Everyone says that he's like huge. An incredible merciless roaster. But he's also like a guy – one of the guys who like Joe Rogan put the battery in his back, and he's just like, I'm a god now. Yeah. Like, I can do no wrong.

And, like, I mean, sometimes you need confidence with a comedian, but, like, also just seeing, like, a comedian who's too confident, and they, like, get something wrong, and then, like, double down or, like, think of you as the asshole for, like, not getting it. I don't know, dude. Yeah, I mean, there's people that say offensive shit and, like, get away with it, but, like, that was just, like, so, it was just, for like not getting it. I don't know, dude. Yeah. I mean, there's people that say offensive shit and like get away with it. But like that was just like so it was just like not funny. Like it was just there was nothing funny about it. And it was just like super cringy and like uncomfortable to watch. Yeah, that's like the kind of the last thing that you want is like a comedian or like any type of entertainer when you make your whole audience uncomfortable. But I guess I think there are some comedians who like that, who want that.

They want to go to a point of discomfort, make everybody in the audience cringe, but then by the end of the bit to bring everybody back around to be like, okay, I kind of see your perspective. But he didn't do that at all. No, he was just making fun of the dude who was hosting it, right? Yeah, and I think the crowd for like laughing at the like i guess the guy was making like anti-white people jokes and like the white people were like

laughing at it or whatever oh okay i get that i mean yeah i don't get it like it's still dumb but now i guess there's more context the context but yeah it is i mean it's just like a it's just a weird i mean i just saw that on tiktok and then like a week later i heard like tim dillon talk about it so what did tim dillon have to say about it? I mean, he said basically he made, like, the biggest mistake that a comedian can make. Which is? Saying those words. Yeah.

Like, I don't know. It's crazy, too. Tim Dillon, like, says offensive shit all the time, too. Right. But it's, like, shows that there's at least some, like, tact or, like, mastery of, like, he's not he's not just saying wild offensive shit just to say it. But in some ways, I guess this dude was too. I don't know. It's like that's a tough world to be in too.

But I think the way that we do it on the yak, some days we're just kind of spitballing and freewheeling. But at the same time – It's pretty easy to not fuck up that bad though yeah it is like i have like a a decent like uh filter governor on like what to what not to say what to say like even if the camera's going like you just like don't or just don't have those feelings about people like that would have never come to my mind. I would have never thought of saying that. No. The fact that he even fucking thought of saying that is fucking insane. Yeah. Here's something that this probably won't translate to the audio world, but something that I'm tired of is this.

You know what I'm talking about? No, not at all. You've never seen a woman talking about something and describing something and being like, honey. Using their hands? But just like they're grasping something out of the air and just – they have this little snake thing going on with their hand or they'll just like – I've probably seen it before, but that's definitely not something that I've seen. I've been like, I need this to end. I saw a woman talking about Israel like israel and palestine and

she was like trying to roast someone and be like honey oh yeah yeah i can see that it's like yeah but but you can't have like a sassy roast when you're like talking about like a geopolitical issue that's 2 000 years old did you see the video of biden that was like uh boss man biden yeah boss man biden there's a video of him that like was like he's like in like some like some like decked out pickup truck. And they're like. They're like, hey, Joe, can we ask you a question about Israel before you before you go? And he's like, not unless you stand in front of this truck while I while I run you over. Well, I slam on the gas. That's what he said. And then he just flew off.

Like, he was in, like, the middle of, like, a desert. Like, and he just flew off going, like, 100 miles per hour. What the fuck is the president doing driving his own car? I know. I mean – When the fuck has – Like, I feel like they're just trying to do that to make him seem like a sane person. To do, like –

Like, dude, he's not crazy. He drives his own car. To do – Who was the president – I mean, I guess, like, Obama would, like, go to, like, baseball games and shit. He drives his own car. Who was the president? I mean, I guess Obama would go to baseball games and shit. But he wasn't driving himself there? Yeah, they're trying to make him be like, oh, he's the cool president. The cool president's back, and he'll drive trucks.

Yeah, he shouldn't be driving. At all. And I feel like they definitely just— He's old as fuck. They pulled like 20 minutes up the—or like not even, like probably like three minutes up the road, and were like, all right, I'm getting in the back. Like fuck this. Like old people shouldn't be able to drive.

At what age? I'd say like – I would say 70s should be a good cutoff. Nah. Really? There's 70-year-olds that are still – I think that you should – but you should at some point start having to take the test again. Oh, yeah. Like old – no, old people are horrible drivers. Like horrible.

Because they're scared to die. They're scared to die. Like, even my mom. My mom is a terrible driver. You think she's just scared to die? Probably, yeah. And she's just like, we'll be getting on the highway going like 25. You can't merge onto the highway doing that.

Because she doesn't want to get smoked by another car. Yeah. But it's just like she doesn't know. Like, she drives me to the train station when I go home. Like she'll drive me to the train station like early in the morning because I come back so I'm at work. Grinder? I got my grinder, yeah. And she will leave like over an hour early.

It's like 30 minutes away. Does it just take her time? Yeah. Because she like doesn't want to have to rush. In some ways though I would rather have that than to be like with that one friend who like is just changing lanes oh i fucking hate that one of my friends one of my friends drives like a rav4 like a 2000 like it's like a old it has like over 300 000 miles on it old ass car and he drives it like it's fucking like like a ferrari it's insane like we like we'll go turn and we'll be like hanging out the window we actually when i was in color in Colorado a couple weeks ago, I don't think I ever told this story.

We hit someone. We hit a person. Yeah. It was fucked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is fucked. We were driving and we missed our turn and he like just looked in his rearview mirror and he put it in reverse and like flew backwards.

And we went backwards past a fucking crosswalk. And out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy biking across and we rail him. And I was like, dude, we just fucking hit a person. And we're just all frozen in the car for like 10 seconds. And then we get out and the dude was like rolling around on the ground. Like a soccer player with like a fucking torn ACL? Yeah, he got the wind knocked out of him bad. And he was like, yeah, I bet a fucking car hit him.

The dude ended up being super cool though. He was like, yeah, I bet a fucking car hit him. The dude ended up being super cool, though. He was like, yeah, he's like, you just got to wait for like 15 minutes just to make sure like I'm not paralyzed or something. So he just like sat there for like 15 minutes. And it was weird, too, because like no one stopped. No other car stopped or anything. They were just fine with it. Yeah, they were fine with it. And then he was like, he was like, yeah, it's all right.

I got he's like, it's just because last time he's like, you guys have to sit here for like, no, no, literally. He was like, you guys have to sit here with me for like 15 minutes because last time this happened i uh i was paralyzed yeah he was like i was like i biked home and then i got home and my neck was broken shut up yeah i would just stop biking after the first time getting obliterated and he apparently like he like fell off a cliff one time biking and then he got up and he went to the gym and he was like i hope my wife has some sympathy sex with me tonight it was actually hilarious like he was like, I hope my wife has some sympathy sex with me tonight. It was actually like he was like it was like best case scenario for fucking running someone over.

He had been hit so many times on his bike that he had like bits that he had prepared. Like, I know this is going to work. Hopefully my wife will T-bone me tonight. It was actually like my buddy had like a rough night the night before and so he was drunk too he's just like no and i came people with his with his car because it was like a it was like over 24 hours later but my buddy had like a rough night like was how he was having like a mental breakdown and i was like this is gonna be bad if like he like killed this dude i think this is gonna be like we're gonna have to like check today ruiner yeah oh my god and then we like went to a

check him into prison and we went to a we. Yeah. Oh my God. And then we like went to a golf course. Check him into prison. And we went to a driving range right after. And we just like watched my friend hit balls for like 30 minutes. Like didn't talk. It was fucked. Why didn't you hit balls? Because he needed the clubs. He needed all of them.

You went and watched him golf? Like watching somebody play a video game? Yeah. We also do. He's like that kind of person. We always watch him play video games too. So he's the main character? Yeah.

He's the main character. He's a fucking psychopath. I thought you would be the main character in your group of friends. No, no, no. You're a side character? No, I'm top three. Yeah? Yeah.

So when he's locked up on weekends for vehicular manslaughter, you get to ascend to main character. You get to come off the bench. Yeah. manslaughter yeah you get to ascend to main character you get to come off the bench yeah the people who drive like the assholes who like switch five lanes at once or like go 110 to try and make like a 40 minute drive into a 35 minute drive always wind up flipping their car and they always are like driving like that right after they've gotten into like a massive like it's no surprise it's not like they it's like an adrenaline thing i think because you ever get in like a you ever like go uh like you almost you in, like, a really bad accident.

Like, I don't really think this ever happens to me anymore because I feel like I'm a pretty safe driver these days. Defensive? Passive? Yeah. It used to be, like, I would, like, almost hit someone and then I'd just, like, fly away going, like, 100 miles per hour. Like, it's just an adrenaline rush. Yeah, like you're fucking getting away from the crime scene. Just dancing away. It is – I mean, it's fucking – Getting in a, like you're fucking getting away from the crime scene. Just dancing away.

It is. I mean, it's fucking. Getting in a, getting in a, have you ever been in an accident? Yeah. Like bad ones? Uh, no, not terrible. Yeah. But like bad enough where you like hear the crunch.

Oh, yeah. I've, I've never been, or I've been like a, I've like, one time I was driving with my mom and someone hit us on the highway. But it was like a tap and then we just pulled over. Nothing like crazy I've hit I've hit a lot of things Like the first week I had my license I ran into like a massive boulder

And I was like on my I was like on my phone too Which was just a bad Terrible Just a terrible look Yeah parents were really pissed Did you tell them you were on your phone? No

I wasn't on my phone I was changing the thing on the radio. I was trying to change the song. And then my friend was just like, yo, dude. And I look up and we're just like flying into a fucking. A boulder? Yeah. Where were you?

Were you on your way to, were you like hiking? No. How was it just a boulder? It was like a boulder. Aren't you from Massachusetts? Yeah, just like on the side of the street. Like it was like a decorative type thing, I think. Just in case.

And then my dad made me go with him to go to the spot where we hid and he just like inspected it and he was like, how did this happen? Because he probably thought you were lying. Yeah, he did. Which, and you were.

No, I wasn't. You were texting and then you switched it to it being a... Yeah, I wasn't texting. But I was distracted. You were pressing buttons. I was pressing buttons.

As a wee 16-year-old. As a wee 16-year-old. Yeah, my parents did not, they were like, my mom had like a rule that you couldn't even change the radio and uh i still wound up getting into accidents yeah one time i was fucking pizza delivery driving and i fucking this is the same summer i ran over two turtles i just fucking crunched the two turtles it was fucking what kind of what kind of turtles do they have like snapping turtles there probably there was in massachusetts there. What kind of turtles? Did they have like snapping turtles there? Probably.

In Massachusetts, there's big-ass snapping turtles. And if you live near like a pond or something, they'll just like walk up on your yard and they'll be a big-ass snapping turtle. Oh my god. We actually had a – we had a – I have a pool, like a pretty small pool. We had – one day we were sitting there and all of a sudden there was a bunch of shit swimming around in our pool. What do you mean shit?

Like just like there's like something swimming. We thought it was mice. We go up there, and it's like upwards of 100 baby snapping turtles. Like the snapping turtles planted like eggs or something like in the ground. And they popped out, and they were like the size of like a golf ball. And they all were just tiny-ass snapping turtles, And they were all like, yeah, it was insane. It was one of the craziest things I've ever seen. They were crawling out of the grass and then going into the pool.

What the fuck? And then we just took all of them. And we have a pond right near my house. We just dumped them in there. You just dumped them in the pond? Yes. Like they're not all going to live. No, I would say probably most of them died.

But at the same time, me running them over that summer felt fucking terrible every time. But I was backing out of the parking spot at this pizza place uh about to bust down on delivery real quick and i looked to my left i saw a group of people come and looked in the rearview mirror there was nobody behind me and i fucking backed up and i heard a fucking blood curdling scream it was the scariest scream of all time and uh i and i had i pulled of the spot, and I looked to the left, and this woman was like, You almost hit my child! Holy shit. And her little toddler was walking like 20 feet ahead of them.

And so I pulled out between the toddler. So if I pulled out two seconds earlier, I would have smoked the fucking toddler. But at the same time, it's like, lady, walk with your your fucking toddler you're letting a fucking toddler walk behind a parking lot yeah fucking who's too small to be seen by a rearview mirror yeah but that's like uh that's an all-time what-if moment like I think my life would be different oh no definitely if I had just smoked the fucking yeah if I if you killed a toddler or even just not even if it wasn't a kill even if I had just like hit had the thud. I wouldn't even be able to bring it up in conversations like this because like everyone else would have to look at me differently.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made a deal with your car. I almost hit a girl when I was a senior in high school backing out of my parking spot at school because I was in this weird spot where if I didn't get out like right – if I wasn't one of the first cars out of the parking lot, I would have been stuck there till like everyone left. So it was either like, I got out within the first minute or I was there for like 20 minutes sitting in my car waiting to go. And I got there and wait 20 minutes. I thought you meant when everyone left like four hours later or something like that.

No, no, no, no. So you almost hit a girl over 20 minutes. Yeah. And I, uh,

I, I was sitting in my car and I ran in. My little sister was in my car waiting and I turned the gas on, instantly put it in reverse and just looked back and just slammed on the gas. Because it's got to be a quick process. You've got to be the first one out. Yeah. I had a similar parking lot, so I can empathize with you. And I turn around and this girl is literally – she's basically as close inside of my car as she could have been without actually being in the car.

And I was like, holy fuck. And she was like pissed. And I knew the girl. And then I had to text her after and be like, hey, I'm really sorry about almost hitting you with my car. You pulled up and braked in time or she got out of the way in time? I braked in time, yeah. She was like deer in the headlights. She was not moving.

Oh, really? She just froze? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Like going in the Monday after like paralyzing a girl was the fucking whack day of high school. Kids would get in car accidents all the time in the parking lots of school. Like I got hit.

I was sitting in my car one time in the morning like eating breakfast, like waiting to go into school. And all of a sudden my whole car just like flies forward. And I look over and this kid who was on the golf team with me hit my car on purpose no not on purpose no no dude that happened in my high school people used to hit each other's cars on purpose it'd be like yeah we just bumped him it's like wait a second i have whiplash right now like i need a fucking neck brace now because you bumped my corolla you dickhead yeah and i and he got he parked his car got out and started walking he like he wasn't gonna say anything and i was like dude i copped out and he was like oh my god i'm

so sorry and i was like he was he was just not gonna say shit he was just gonna keep walking that's how you have to do it sometimes that's definitely how you have to do it i've definitely have uh i'm probably not gonna. I've driven away from a – No, I have too. At like 17 years old, I think I scraped the side of my dad's minivan and I was like, go off. Yeah. I hit a car in the gym parking lot and I just pulled down and parked somewhere else and just went into the gym. That's what bumpers are for.

Yeah. There was no damage or anything. Yeah. It's a bumper. Yeah. And there's also the saying – I mean with rental cars. It's a rental. are for. Yeah. There was no damage or anything. Yeah, there's a bumper. Yeah. And there's also the saying, I mean, with rental cars, it's a rental, don't be gentle. You just fucking, if it's a rental car, you can fucking, you can put like a certain amount of dents in a rental car. You can fuck up a rental car a little bit if you need to.

What cities do you want to go to? Geez, I don't know. I guess I would like, I mean, I would like to go to L.A., but I have no interest in ever living in L.A. Yeah? Why? I don't know. It just sounds like it sucks. Too many homeless?

No. Not enough homeless. No. It has nothing to do with homeless people. I just think it's – I've heard that it's just very – like people with like a bunch – like very big egos. like very big egos like i think in a lot of towns you can go into the town and see who's like a big deal just by like kind of looking around assessing the situation how people dress where they're seated like uh like what they're doing at like certain restaurants or places that you're out but in la you look around and everybody has like uh adopted those qualities like the qualities

that in another town will make them like the big deal or whatever like how they act how they dress like the fucking vip that they're at like how they talk about certain foods or like where they're sitting like everybody thinks that they're the big deal yeah yeah i mean i also feel like i just don't understand like i know it's like there's like everyone's out in la like oh you got a motel blah blah blah but i feel like it's also nowadays i feel like it's pretty easy to do well in the entertainment industry without being in LA. I'm sure it helps to be in LA to collab with people. But also, I don't know. I feel like you don't need to do that.

And just the idea of having to be like all the TikTokers and shit out there. Too much. Too much. It would suck. Start a content house. Yeah. You're not trying to start a content house. Next thing you know, I'd be fighting and rough and rowdy against fucking Josh Richards.

Dude, the next thing you – it really is crazy that the next thing you have to do, like, if you're an influencer is, like, fight. Like, that's, like, become the natural progression. It just doesn't make sense either because it's, like, Bryce Hall's – apparently Bryce Hall is fighting this, like, other TikTok kid. And I think Josh Richards might be fighting someone too, but it's like – they did the – Josh Richards is fighting somebody? I think so, yeah. What? I think they did a press conference yesterday, and it was like Bryce Hall and the guy got in a big, massive scramble at the press conference.

And it's like what are – there's nothing to be – what are they angry about? They don't – just because they're both content creators? There's no – I get them fighting for entertainment purposes, but like – Pret. Like there's no – like I get like them fighting for entertainment purposes but like – Pretending that there's like actual beef. Pretending that there's like actual beef. It's like they know they're – like nothing happened. Yeah, but it's also like they're children of the Paul brothers. So they're like, oh, I'm going to do what they did because it's like selling – I mean it does help sell the fight.

Like it is like an extra clip for people to watch to like be interested in it. But it just doesn't make any sense to like pretend to like hate somebody and fight them yeah but that's also just like what machoism is like didn't bryce hall say he's been in like 50 fights or some shit like that i mean bryce hall like fought like a waiter or some shit because she like told him not vape in the she told him no the waiter or the waitress i don't know what it was they the waiter pictured him like fighting like a badass woman like and the woman just is like standing in like fucking dodging his punches and just in her like black fucking sneakers. Yeah.

Boxing him out. It is a crazy progression, but I guess they all need like – is it because it's like hard to make money? They need a product to sell? Do you think it's just like the money that they do it? Like why fighting? Why couldn't it be like, oh, let's play one-on-one basketball? I mean there should be. Yeah, I guess fighting yeah i guess fighting i guess it's just fighting there's a fuck ton of money in it and it's like a huge it's like the easy human thing that everyone can

understand yeah oh man it sucks tiktok's terrible that this is why i don't go on tiktok like just there's other like the dudes who you like fucking ben marshall's not out there like there's good things there's yeah but they're on twitter like they they they post all their shit on twitter but i mean but my point is that there's other people there's redeeming qualities. Yeah, but they're on Twitter. Like, they post all their shit on Twitter. But, I mean, my point is that there's other people. There's redeeming shit on TikTok that's not just, like. Yeah, there's, like, for one in every fucking 10,000 videos that you look at, there's, like, one funny video. TikTok is brutal.

And it's just, like, everything is just the same. There's always. I mean, you scroll TikTok, 10 swipes, you see the same video three times. But you also watch shit that makes you angry. Yeah, it all makes me angry. But same video three times. But you also watch shit that makes you angry. Yeah, it all makes me angry. But I'm saying you watch till the end of something that makes you angry. Yeah. Instead of, like, being— I don't have the self-control amount to do that.

Yeah, you should play the algorithm. You should be like, as soon as they're giving you something that you know is going to make you angry, as soon as you see Bryce Hall's face, you should swipe out of it. So, like, you're telling the algorithm that you don't like that kind of stuff. But the problem is you actually do like that kind of stuff and you don't want to be on because you like it so much that it turns into a self-loathing thing and you're like why do i fucking like this shit so much you want to be in this way house boxing for five million dollars i absolutely don't i hate all of it Like it's just – I feel bad.

It's like my little sisters, like they're on TikTok and it's like they have no attention span. Like my little sister has no attention span. Like the content that they watch, it's just like – I mean I guess it's like an old person, old move to be like, oh, look at this content. It's not as good as it was when I was younger. But like when I was younger, it was like Vine and Vine Vine was Nick Coletti and Cody Coe and Casey Fry, all these hilarious dudes who are still funny as fuck. But that's what I mean. They're still funny.

No, but there's no one like that. Yes, there is. There's no one like that on TikTok. You're fucking – people will be like, yeah, I was following Sash. It's like, no, it's not like that anymore. You're overpowered. You're overpowered by Charlie D'Amelio and Josh Richards and Bryce Hall. But those people were overpowered by fucking – D'Amelio and Josh Richards and Bryce Hall. But those people were overpowered by like fucking –

Nash Greer. Yeah. Exactly. Literally Nash Greer. But they weren't. Like Nash Greer had 20 million followers. Exactly. Charlie D'Amelio has like 120 million followers.

Yeah, but it's like that's how big one platform is to the other platform. Like was Vine in Asia? Yeah, I think so. Was it? I think it was. Well, then that's a misnomer by me. But at the same time, though, there is still good going on in these things. It doesn't just have to be, like, the worst of it.

No. Like, the dude who was fucking—who's the dude that, like—the dude who has, like, the charges against him that was, like, dancing to, like, a Paul Wall song the other day and everyone, like— Oh, like the Andre Lopez or something like that. I don't know what his actual name is. Who's like a confirmed – he's definitely a scumbag. Him and his brother are both pedophiles. Yeah, pedophiles. Not even just scumbag.

Just like plain old pedophiles or whatever. But like even the people who are coming at him, like the millennials coming at him are just – are corny too for being like – No, I know. And it's just like there's so many people. Also, I think the fact that it's just like there's so many people also i think the fact that it's so easy to get like massively famous on that app is like something that also like annoys me because it's like you go on like i don't know you see go ahead go ahead like just

something like it's it most of my hatred for tiktok comes from the comments and it's like you'll go and be like oh will smith's on tiktok now and then you click on comments, and it's like you'll go and it'll be like, oh, Will Smith's on TikTok now. And then you click on the comments, and it's all these TikTok influencers who are like, yo, what's up, Will? Like they act like they're all – Does Will comment back? Yeah. They act like they're all like buddies with Will Smith because they've got fucking a blue check on TikTok. But I'm also refreshed at the fact that there are people who are super famous outside of TikTok that go on to TikTok and don't pop off. Yeah, like myself.

But you at least – but there are some people who have like a sixth of your following who are like famous in the real world. My following on TikTok is completely dead, and that's part of the reason why I don't like TikTok. But the last time you posted a video was like Josh Richards is fucking reposted. But that's also just like you got to do like I did. I did like a stitch. If you do – if you stitch anything, it does well. I don't know if that's true, dude. I've stitched shit that hasn't gone crazy.

But I think that – I don't like the algorithm on TikTok because it's like even if you have a certain amount of followers, you can still have a video get no views because TikTok can just be like, we don't like this video. Just push it down. Yeah. It's so weird. Like Twitter, it's like, I mean, you can get your shit taken down. You can get banned and stuff, but it's like, and Instagram, like,

but it's like, anything you post, it's like, if you have followers, like, they're gonna see it. They're not gonna get, it's not gonna get silenced. There's been shit pushed down on Instagram for me. Actually, a couple types of videos have been. I mean, I know Instagram's getting more strict, I guess, but, like, Twitter, I know Twitter, it's like, anything I post, post like people are gonna see it like i said super spreader

in like a caption or something oh yeah but it's like that doesn't fucking make sense like you should be able to fucking say that apparently like any type of like violence or anything now on instagram instagram used to be like the place to be for violence there was all those like there was all those like uh accounts that just feel like people dying yeah oh yeah oh dude i used to buy cars and or like people like getting electrocuted yeah yeah like falling like six stories or whatever that video went viral that guy died there was a bunch of those videos and i followed all of those accounts yeah like vine used to be like that too vine in the beginning was like people dying and porn do you ever in those like straight up porn on vine yeah like the vine used to be a that too. Vine in the beginning was like people dying and porn. Do you remember when there was like

straight up porn on Vine? Yeah. Like Vine used to be a straight up porn website. That is hilarious. That was like when twerking became a thing and then all of a sudden

it just turned into like people fucking themselves on Vine. But I mean, it gave us twerking, honestly. It's like, what can we do in seven seconds

to simulate sex? Making jokes in seven seconds is insane. I can't even imagine doing that. Like doing like seven second sketches It's hilarious though Yeah And that's how it should be

But to your point about your sister having no attention span Dude I had no attention span growing up And I didn't have fucking No but like TikTok No like they have no Like she

Like will watch a movie And she like won't watch any of it And then she's like oh my god this movie is so bad It's like cause you're not paying attention But also it's like She'll be on tiktok watching fucking addison ray shake her ass the whole time on the white house lawn yeah as a fucking twerking on the washington monument she's fucking rain what is it natalie biden is that is that the girl's name who's biden's daughter is she i think it's Natalie. Is she on there? I think so, yeah.

Hang on. Addison Rae and Claudia Conway twerking on the White House lawn. That's so funny. I hate Addison Rae with a passion. Addison Rae is easily my least favorite TikToker. Did you see that video of her, like, making out with the dude? Yes, yes. The cringiest part about that wasn't even them kissing. The cringiest part was that MTV does, like a best kiss award yeah yeah but also they had to watch a bunch of videos of like people making out in movies and be like what's the best

kiss i think i remember one of the first best kiss awards was like fucking like spider-man when they like kiss upside down yeah but that's it's like legendary but that's like the only move that you can do like any other kiss is just gonna be a kiss like there's it's like the fucking slam dunk contest where they like ran out of other sweet kisses that people can do like yeah so what are you gonna do sideways now but the fact i mean it was like the fact that they're just like co-stars who like fucking make out on stage for like the pleasure of everybody yeah it's like a gladiator thing like are you not entertained and then fucking making out with each other and then bryce hall was tweeting and he was like he was like sucks but i'm just gonna keep on grinding anyway because that's his ex-girlfriend

ex-girlfriend yeah who's like i think she's fucking jack harlow now too right but even for him that's gotta suck like no matter who like the fact that she's just, like, making out with someone for, like, the pleasure of tweens. For, like, the viewing pleasure of tweens. For, like, the ten people that watch the MTV Awards. But she's your least favorite? Her tweets piss me off so much. Why? Because she just gets dummy numbies?

Because she does dummy numbies. And you can't fucking scratch the surface? Because she'll post, like, she'll just post, post like The dumbest shit possible It's just like these people are just such like surface level Like I don't know They have nothing There's no personality It's just like the be positive

I love everyone It's a good gig if you can get it though She'll never have to use her brain ever again And neither will Bryce Hall Like these people will literally never have to use their brains. But that's how you turn into an out-of-touch punchline celebrity in 30 years or something like that. But they already are way out of touch. Yeah, but they'll never be in touch.

No, no, they're out. But I don't think they care. I mean, Addison Rae went to college, I'm pretty sure. I think she dropped out of college. Really? And now she's probably worth like $50 million. Like I was listening to fucking Conan O'Brien's podcast today. Oh, is that good?

It's incredible. Yeah. I mean, he's just one of the funniest dudes of all time. Yeah, yeah. But he had Seth Rogen on, or maybe it was a couple days ago. And Seth Rogen was telling a story about how Nicolas would just like have him into a meeting like just so we could like ask him a question be like did you steal this idea from me like he would have the pretense of a meeting like something no normal human would do he would get his answer and he

would just storm out and just like be completely disassociated from anything that a normal human would do because like his entire life he's lived in this like bubble of a spotlight of people sucking his dick and telling him how fucking incredible he is it's like fucking it's it's like it's not it's not an enviable position to be in you know what i mean like it's she's easy to hate but she also sucks yeah have you have you seen uh have you heard john mulaney talk about like working on snl with celebrities and how they're all assholes no what, what did he say? It's just like – I don't know. I forget who it was. He's got like a – he's talking about it in like a special.

I forget who he was talking about, but he was just like – fuck. Some super famous musician, he was like – they were like writing a song together for a sketch. And it was like just John Mulaney and him in John Mulaney's office. And they were like writing. And John Mulaney is like pitching him jokes and he's just like not funny. Like they're just like – they're just like super out of touch, like super big assholes, like a lot of them. Like not even like politely being like, okay, like let's workshop. Or like maybe that one could work or something like that.

I think he was just like – I forget who it was. It would be a lot better if I knew who it was. But he was just like not funny. I don't know if I knew who it was, but he was just like, not funny. Dude, there's been people who work at Barstool who have like – they don't work here now, but people on the business side who – I've been like, okay, I got a couple ideas for you. And I'd give them an idea that turned out to be a recurring series of fucking content that they could use over years. It was called Barguments or something like that. That was the first of a list of 30.

He was like, okay, what else do you got? Come on, give me some. And he clapped at me like I was a dog. He was snapping at me being like, come here, give me more. But on the SNL subject, I think some of the cast members too can smell their own dicks a little bit too much. They can smell their own farts. When Elon Musk was on and he was like, what are some good skits that I could write? And cast members were like, first of all, they're called sketches.

It's like, dude, you're a fucking loser. Shut the fuck up whether he calls them a skit or a sketch. Sorry he doesn't know the exact terminology. Go start talking to him about fucking rockets. See if he's the one who supposedly has like fucking Asperger's and he's like he would be gracious enough to tell you that like he wouldn't be shitting on you for like calling rocket fuel the wrong kind of shit. Like you're a dickhead for being like, oh, it's actually a skit or like it's actually a sketch. It was Bowen Yang and is it Chris Adie Bryant? What's her name?

Amy Bryant. Yeah, Adie Bryant.D. Bryant? What's her name? A.D. Bryant. A.D. Bryant, yeah. And apparently SNL was offering them a safe space. SNL was offering cast members and writers a safe space if they didn't want to interact with Elon Musk. Yikes. Which is just, I don't know, so weird. But, yeah.

Can't interact with a billionaire? No. I mean, yeah. I don't know. Just be triggered. Apparently, SNL ends this week, though. That's the season finale. a billionaire? No. I mean, yeah. I don't know. Just be triggered. Apparently – or, well, SNL ends this week, though. That's the season finale.

Does it? Yeah. You going to be on? You going to go on? No. But I just feel like – yeah, I feel like SNL just needs to clean out the whole cast. Yeah. And it's just so weird because, like, for me, I think Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett are two of the funniest people on the planet.

And it's just like – I just don't – I think they should just leave SNL. I used to be – I love the idea of SNL. What do you mean? I love the idea of a live sketch show weekly with hosts. It's such a great idea, but it's just – this season was just unbearably bad. They're just cramming six music videos into every episode. It's like – I don't know if they're trying to redo – I think they're just cramming like six music videos into every episode. It's like, I don't know what, I don't know if they're trying to like redo, like I think they're trying to like,

I mean, it would, it would seems like they're trying to like redo like the lonely Island. Like they're trying to get that going. Cause like me and my friends talking about this, this weekend, like the lonely Island, those guys must be still pulling in like a fuck load of money from their songs.

Like a fuck ton. Those, those videos have like over a hundred million views, like all of them. Yeah. And the, and on Spotify, they all have like a million plays like they're like those are like those are like those are fucking huge and that's just passive income yeah like they must still be making money from that and it's not like they've retired it's like they're doing other stuff to make money

simultaneously dude just being that's one of the fucking sweet that's one reason to move to hollywood there's not a ton but like being in a a field or genre where you can just like there someone will just send you a ten thousand dollar check from time to time or like more yeah dude when i was writing on this fucking tv show like for years after the fact i would just get like a random like ten thousand dollar check like fifteen thousand dollars just from like show is it? It was a show where celebrities battle-rapped each other. Oh, really? Dude, it was... I mean, that was a scenario where you could really see how some celebrities were...

There was a woman that came onto the show, and she was supposed to battle-rap an Asian dude. And she had agreed to do it, and she got her fucking script. And she's like, there's Asian jokes in here. And walked off. Battle rapping is very like, they don't really hold back on that. Exactly. You're not supposed to hold back. And they were like the most tame,

dumbed down, least offensive Asian jokes of all time. She just was like, no one told me I'd have to make jokes about Asian people. You agreed to be on a show where you battle rap against somebody. It's just absolutely preposterous. Wayne Brady came on and he was pissed it was taking too much time.

And so he just freestyled and destroyed all the producers. He just went on stage and was like, you're a fucking nerd. You're a fucking nerd you're a fucking bitch like i just went down the line it was just fucking lighting people up that that's crazy the craziest shit is when like a famous actor like flips out on like the crew and everything they had michael cera did a funny skit sketch on that like he did like who who was the was it tom cruz who was very recently or over the pandemic was like one of the some guy on the crew or like the camera guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Tom Cruise did it as like a performance, though. You could tell he's like, don't ever do this. This is bad. Yeah. Yeah. He was pissed. But he made sure to make a big enough scene about it that it would get picked up. And he was like, I will keep yelling to make sure someone had started filming. He kept on reasserting his premise at the beginning in case someone had started filming late

to make sure it went viral so everyone could see how much he cared. Yeah. Who else did the Australian fucking, what's his name? Fucking Christian Bale was one of the early

Christian Bale. Don't look at me. Yeah, it's crazy. Oh, fuck you in your mouth. Look at me again. Christian Bale is awesome. I love Christian Bale look at me again it's christian bale is awesome i love christian bale but yeah it's crazy they're just screaming at a i mean i don't know i i guess like making a movie probably gets pretty hostile like probably gets tense i don't know i think that that's another person who just has never lived in the real world yeah when you're like screaming at

someone you work with who's like not do like you did that in the halls of Barstool. If you just yelled at a salesperson for walking in the background while you're doing an Instagram ad being like, You're distracting me! I'm trying to do a dude wife's ad! Who is this walking by? Do that again and you'll be fired. How's that sound, Elyse? Some poor girl some poor like

little girl like dropping her coffee when we were at uh but we did the blue the bat thing with that even that like even like i mean i know like cory had reasons for getting a mad about like the food spread and stuff but i was just like i was so uncomfortable what do you mean because cory was like because we got because like i get why he was mad because apparently like the producing company that we work with, like they charge just like $500 or something and then we get there and it's like 10 bagels. So I get why he was mad about how – he was like this is unacceptable, blah, blah, blah. But he was like pissed and he kind of found telling it and he was like – he was like telling people to go out and get us food and stuff. And I was like, dude, like I had a Quest bar for breakfast. Yeah, it's fine.

Like I really don't need like to be fed on every – Yeah, I don't need it. for breakfast. Yeah, it's fine. Like, I really don't need, like, to be fed on everything.

Yeah, I don't need it. Even the word, whenever Hollywood people, like, say, like, crafty,

it's like, it makes my skin crawl a little bit. It's like, just like, anything, I don't know if it's just the way that that word is designed, but like,

crafty is such like, a fucking, Being, being at that thing and being like, like, having all those camera dudes there and being like,

treated as like, where like, the talent was just like, even that, it's just like, I'm, I'm like, in a lower, probably a lower position than you guys are like i don't need to be like actually treated like i'm like above you guys like can i get you anything

just so weird another multi-grain bar mr sasquatch we're just gonna like and everyone's like waiting around for like a half hour for you to like come outside it's like yeah you could have just grabbed me. I'm not trying to make this be on my time. But you could tell that everyone just has PTSD from being around or catering to people who actually are actual assholes. Yeah, it would suck. It would be a tough job, definitely. Not being able to look Ellen in the eyes while you're on fucking...

While you're producing the show. Who looked me in the eye? Yeah. Didn't Nicki Minaj – wasn't she a famous like you can't look her in the eye type of person? There's like a bunch of stories about like waitresses that tried to like look Nicki Minaj in the eye. She's like, why is she looking me in the eye? Such a crazy thing. Why is she looking at me?

Don't look at me in the eye. I'm sorry. Who is that and why is she looking at me? It's so weird. It is fucking insane i don't think i would want to look like i i have trouble making eye contact with dave i mean like the three times i've talked to him exactly what do you do honestly yeah because it's just someone who's just in a different realm of life than you are like they don't we don't live the same life

right and it's like am i like you're worried about bothering them it's like am i bothering you like i'm sorry i'm not trying to bother you. Yeah. I'm sorry, Ms. Minaj. I just was trying to take your order. I'm your waitress. Why is this bitch looking at me? I had a – I worked – I was a busboy when I was in, like, sophomore year of high school, and I had a guy. It was a fancy-ass restaurant.

I had a guy that was – kind of gave me, like, a don't look at me type situation. Was he famous? He gave me a that, like, me type situation. Was he famous? He gave me a that, like go away. Shut up. Yeah. He garconned you? I was asking if they needed water or something. And he waved me off.

I was like, Jesus Christ. Was he on his phone? No, he was in the middle. They were talking. But it's like, what do you want me to do? I'm not going to stand there awkwardly and wait for you guys to stop talking. I was a terrible busboy, though, at the same time. That was the worst job I've ever had in my entire life what were your duties the bus boy but

it was like when you're a bus boy i feel like there's different types of boys they they pawn off the way the waiters and the waitresses pawn off all of their duties to you because they act like they're like really they act like they're way busier than like the bus boys are so they could just like go on their phones and sit in the back room? And everyone that I worked with was like scumbags, and I was like fucking 13 years old or something. And I like – and I remember one time I brought out – there was like this big ass – there was this big ass party that came in, and I brought out the fish tacos early, earlier than the rest of the food. What kind of restaurant was it?

I think it was just like American food. I don't know. I don't know. There was no theme. Eh, maybe it was seafood. Seafood? It was like a beach town. Okay.

But, um. You rushed out the fish tacos and got scared for it? I brought the fish tacos way too early. And then all of a sudden I'm like in the dishwashing room and I hear people yelling outside. I'm like, who brought out the fish tacos? And I'm just like, fuck me. I'm like like this sucks and then and then they and then i have to go have a meeting with the fucking manager and the chef for bringing out the fish tacos yeah they're like you got to get your act together hey uh harry they're telling us you brought out

the fish tacos a little bit early that was my what's going on is everything okay at home that was my that was easily my Biggest like high and dry Quit Quitting of a job I've ever done I quit I was supposed to work On like Christmas Eve And I

Or it was the day Before Christmas Eve And I called And I was like hey Like I can't I was like I'm Pretty busy Coming up

Like I need you guys To take me off the schedule And he was like alright You'll still be in tonight though right We need you And I was like yeah And then I just never showed up He didn't collect the last paycheck

You're just like fuck it Yeah I'm never gonna get that money No It collect the last paycheck. You're just like, fuck it. Yeah. I'm never going to get that money. No. It was terrible, terrible place to work. Being a busboy just sucks though. The hours are terrible. I don't know.

I feel like working – like if you're working like a minimum wage job, I feel like working in like retail would be undeniably better. Yeah. I'd rather work at a fucking Macy's than work at like a restaurant. Or like a less – like a store that no one goes in. Yeah, yeah. Like a super not busy store where no one goes yeah yeah like a super not busy store where you don't have to touch just like i or like i work in a grocery store like i mean i've applied to so many like jobs like that but it's just like working in a working in a

grocery store's headphones in just like stacking shit all day would be so much better than just like fucking running around a bar yeah you can't have headphones in you're just like fucking getting yelled at like by like a scumbag like waitress who's like bar backing would be a pretty good job you ever did you ever work in like a bar yeah i was a bouncer in college oh really yeah i was like a head like front door bouncer i was like checking people's ideas and shit but there would be brawls sometimes and like the other bouncers would like love to get in the mix and like start brawling it out. And I'd just be like, you guys can fucking fight.

What, were you at a bouncer at a bar or a club? It was called a club, but it was like a bar. Oh, yeah. Because I feel like I've never actually seen a fight go out. One time my buddy, when I was in Tampa a couple months ago, I was at a bar, and my friend fell in the bathroom. He slipped on his back and fell back. Like, he fell, like – he slipped and then fell on his back. Did he get the wind knocked out of him?

No. It was so – it just happened so fast. And the bouncer was a hard-o. He was wearing, like, a – he was wearing a bulletproof vest, and, like, he had, like, a double mask. So it was, like – the dude was, like – like, clearly he, like, didn't make it into the fucking Navy SEALs or something. So now he's a bouncer. All those dudes are either former wrestlers or didn't make it into the fucking Navy SEALs or something. So now he's a bouncer. All those dudes are either former wrestlers or like they didn't make Navy SEALs. And he picked up my friend, like held him like a baby and carried him out of the bar.

Because he slipped? Like he was like – he looked like he was like a firefighter carrying out like a burn victim. And my friend was like flailing around. He was like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? And then he got in. He was like, you're hammered. Get out of here. You lost your balance, son. And he was like flailing around. He was like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? And then he got in. He was like, you're hammered. Get out of here. You lost your balance, son.

And he was like, I'm completely fine. Like I slipped. Like the bathroom was slippery, and the guy just let him back in. How did he even see that he slipped? Was he in the bathroom as well? The door was like propped open because there was like a line at the bathroom. The door was like propped open, and it was a hilarious – it was like one of the – it was like the quickest –

like it literally all happened within five seconds, like him falling and then just being lifted out of the bathroom. Huge bouncers love to pick people up. These guys I work with were always trying to pick people up or whatever. Pick people up or tackle people. You probably made a fuck ton of money doing that. Tips? Did you get tips? No, I didn't get – actually, no, we got tipped out a little bit, but like –

Oh, really? Because that's like a big thing in college bars is like if you don't get in with your ID, you come back again in line with $20 under the ID. Oh, no. I never – You're never doing any funny business? I never said no to someone's ID unless their ID said that they were younger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If their ID is like, yeah, you're like clearly 17 years old, it says it on your ID. Yeah.

But as long as – but then one day a girl like got hit by a bus and they're like, yeah, she're, like, clearly 17 years old. It says it on your ID. Yeah. But as long as, but then one day a girl, like, got hit by a bus, and they're like, yeah, she was, like, 19, and she said she was in here. Yeah, that's fucked. That's how it always goes down. There was a bar like that. Always goes down like that. Well, that's how, like, no, that's how places, like, lose their liquor licenses and shit.

Right, exactly. That's when it becomes a big deal. That's why Massachusetts is so strict. But it's, like, the ID she showed me, like, me like had her face and it said it was 21. You can't really. Yeah, you can't really. I feel like it would be pretty hard.

Like it's pretty hard to like have the bouncer get in trouble for that. It's like you're not a fucking cop. Right. You're not like trained to know what a real ID is.

Like especially like IDs look so much different in every state. Like Connecticut IDs look like they're fucking stickers. Right. It's like a fucking

Pokemon card with like an ID over it. Or New York IDs are always like the most worn down thing ever like they've been like thumbed through

like the pages of a Harry Potter book or whatever having to be having to know what fuck what state like what every ID

looks like or like yeah what a real ID looks like from every state it just doesn't make any sense alright we're done

alright awesome sounds good good this was fun yeah