Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 20 - We Are

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss their weekend trip to Happy Valley, Philly, & Rone's Dad's house, as well as stories from college, anti-iPad summer camp, & much more -- Thanks for listening, buy some merch!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's just nice to have Owen in here. I like having, the more Owen, the better. Did anyone ever tell you not to talk? Have you ever gotten any bad feedback about talking? I feel like the episodes where you've talked have been the best episodes.

Not to be on your fucking dick. I'm excited to hear about the weekend. Don't talk too much, bro. Fucking chatty, Kathy. Alright, ready? Yeah. Smack my ass like a drum. What's up, everybody?

Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Monday, the day before this is coming out. I don't know the exact date, but it is Monday. It is Monday. This episode will be out on Tuesday. And welcome back. We're out here. We had a long weekend.

Yes. Send us over those ads too, Owen. Oh, yes. We're about to advertise in this episode. Oh, yeah. This is a heavily advertised episode. We're going to get our jollies off, and rightfully so.

They wanted ads on this one. This isn't that micro bullshit. This is that fucking full unschooled. We're done with the micro episodes. Corporate wanted us to try something new. We listened to them and that was our fault. And then we walked in and spit in their face,

fucking tore up the contract and wiped our asses with it. You never listen to corporate. We're not doing fucking micro episodes. If anything, we'll fucking jam an extra long one down your throat on a Thursday for no reason at all. Because we got shit to talk about. Of course. Or sometimes we might not

even have shit to talk about. No. And we'll still probably talk. Yeah. What did you do last night? I fucking... I went right to bed. Yeah. I went right to sleep. I'm trying to think of anything that I did. And I had three turkey sandwiches

and I went right to sleep And I fucking slept for fucking 13 hours It was incredible Yeah, I got a good night's sleep too I felt awful when we got off the train Pretty exhausted Yeah We just spent a little bit of a weekend together

We were at the Penn State game And then the Eagles tailgate And then back to New York But it was just a lot of traveling Tyler Miller said that he checked his Fitbit He walked 11 miles And he was with us a lot of the But it was just a lot of traveling. Tyler Miller said that he checked his Fitbit. He walked 11 miles and he was with us a lot of the day. That's a lot of miles. It is.

That's a ton of miles for the boys. What was your impression of your trip, Sass? Or did you feel like you really relived college? That you really got to it? No, but it was fun. Penn State was awesome. Good time. Good people all around.

Yeah, Penn State was fun. The Eagles game was fun too the eagles tailgate but i was really tired for that we were with some people who were more famous than sass at penn state and he was fucking seething you were getting so fucking pissed walking now i wasn't but it was actually crazy it was like they it was these kids called the besties and the bestiesies are A-list celebrities at Penn State. I've never seen people get the reaction that these people were getting. They have a pretty good following on TikTok, funny TikTok account, but the in-person response compared to the TikTok, I feel like we must have seen everybody that follows them on TikTok. Yeah, I was saying, I think we saw at least half of the people that said that followed them like it was you would always be girls and they would be like screaming it was like if like kanye west just walked in the room

or not even like taylor swift like i don't even know it was insane yeah college kids fucking whoop it up for shit college kids will get real excited about a celebrity sighting. Just like chase somebody down or something. It was like that. And also, they're way better at interacting with their fans than I am. Like, they would like, they would like hear, like, if I hear someone be like, oh, is that blah, blah, blah? I'll just keep walking. They were like, they would like hear Bestie, like from a distance.

And they'd like turn around and like look for the person. Hey, Bestie. Yeah. And like go hunt them down and find them. Yeah. And it was awesome. It was great interaction. It was. And it was what we needed for the person hey bestie yeah and let's go hunt them down and find them yeah and it was awesome it was great interaction it was and it was what we needed for the video but uh you would just like kind of put your head down and like write like a funny tweet like the fans are like

not even at at all acknowledge the person that was trying to give a nice tip of the cap to you what do you think about tailgate culture in general do you uh have you been to a lot of tailgates in your life what was uh no i don't think i've been to any tailgates in my adult life i went to a couple tailgates when i was really younger um i went to shit what the fuck who's gone was your alarm going off sass miss is trained probably went to a patriots game two and a half i went to a Patriots game. Two and a half hours. No, I went to a Boston College game. Nice. Tailgate.

Because my neighbor's sister went there and we went. Football? Yeah, it was fun. How old were you? Young. Yeah. Yeah, too young to enjoy it. Could you tell how shit-faced people got?

Because I feel like adults at Tailgate get some of the shit-faced... Yeah, definitely. The most shit-faced that people will get. Definitely. Yeah, the crowd at the Eagles game was definitely a lot different than the penn state how would you uh contrast it to well the penn state one was mostly young people but the young people at the penn state game were super fucked up like especially right before the game they were just like speaking absolute nonsense dangling on people yo talk to my friend yeah yeah he's the quarterback of Kentucky. Yeah. There will be some people who would follow us around and stuff.

Um, the Eagles game was a lot more, I feel like it was a lot more friendly of a group because they think people were just pumped to watch the game. People are fired up. It's the daytime. People haven't had as much time to get absolutely shit face. Yeah.

Yeah. We were, I feel like, I mean the Penn state people were, there was no like bad experiences with them either, but I feel like at the Eagles game, it was like people were giving us food feeding us

feeding us, giving us drinks we brought around the football the entire weekend and can I just say that if they had given Sass a chance he would have started at quarterback for his high school I can throw lefty and righty too perfect spiral

and how does the defense account for that? No, they can't. You never know what I'm going to do. I'm going to switch it up. Tossing it back and forth, hand to hand. Like, oh, oh, oh, which hand am I? Bro, Sass has the frame to be a quarterback. He has the composition, the disposition.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. The worst part of the trip was, I already briefly talked to Owen about this, but so basically the entire the entire city of philadelphia was sold out of hotels completely booked supposedly we're not saying that uh there was some sort of sex trafficking ring going on within the city but we are oh i thought you were going to slow play it to sex trafficking we're jumping right into and right there it was crazy the sex trafficking convention was yeah something weird was happening dozens not even fucking dozens of thousands of sex traffickers yeah i'd never seen anything like it my uncle used to tell a joke like i tried to go

to philadelphia or like i went to philadelphia last weekend and was like oh yeah how was it he was like it was closed and like philadelphia philadelphia actually was closed and I'd never seen anything like it up to like 15 miles away. There were no hotels and we were trying to get in. We eventually got one. Yeah. We called, we called like an hour. We were called, we were probably an hour outside of Philly and we started calling the hotels and we were like the first three, nothing. Like they were like, oh, we're, we're fully booked.

And so then I was kind of getting a bad feeling about it and i think we probably got through like 10 until roan finally got one and it was like you called one location and then the other location they gave you rooms at another location right yes yeah and so we got those rooms we gave him like we gave them like all the information like phone numbers paid for it paid for it credit card information everything and we were like so you're sure if we go check in here in an hour there'll be rooms and they were like yeah you're all set we get there and he's like hi we have a reservation for uh adam farron and she's like you can just tell like instantly like her heart sank she was like i don't know

who gave you that because we don't have any rooms oh no she was panicking and we had five rooms and she was like not only do we not have five rooms we have zero rooms and i i played it cool and to her credit she like took it up into her hands and she was like i'm gonna find you a place to stay yeah and she called every she obviously is so low on the pyramid scheme of sex trafficking she didn't get the memo that every room was going to be sold out everywhere she thought that they were only sex trafficking at her hotel but it turns out it was it was a universal convention going on they told us that it like oh the eagles have a game so every hotel is sold out there's 60 000 people that can go to an eagles game and you're telling me that all 60

000 of them were coming from out of town yeah every one of the eagles fans are coming from out of town yeah where they're like there's a lot of weddings everyone's getting married yeah no it didn't it didn't make sense at all and we uh this lady was calling for an hour and 40 minutes yeah we literally an hour and 40 we were at that hotel for like two hours and we probably i think around three o'clock in the morning was when we called it and then we went and we stayed at Roan's dad's house. Yeah. Which was fine but it was like we had to get back in the car

drive another 30 minutes then we got there and then we were supposed to wake up at like 8 a.m. the next day right? Yeah. But we ended up not doing that. Which I was very happy about. It was still 8.45 is when. Oh I was up at like 10. No wonder we were no it wasn't 10 you you definitely we definitely were i woke up under 9 30 9 45 maybe well which one was it bro because i'm taking a fucking log right now i want to know exactly

when you woke i woke up and you guys were like you got to get up you got to get up and then i go downstairs and all of a sudden, like everyone has to shower still. So I was like, I was a little confused as to why I had to wake up. Because we were trying to get the ball rolling. You're not, you don't get to just roll out and be the last one out. You got to be like, we all, I had to make sure that you were up and rolling. I wasn't about to shower and you were still asleep. I was trying to get the whole gang going.

I would have preferred that. I know you would have. I didn't shower anyway. So I know you would have. You were just trying to roll out of bed and get right into the going. I would have preferred that. I know you would have. I didn't shower anyway. I know you would have. You were just trying to roll out of bed and get right into the car. I would have been ideal. I got to make sure everybody's going. I got to make sure that everybody's rolling.

It's funny because you're still at the stage where it's like parents are the enemy. And I'm at a stage where parents are the friend. I'm like talking to all. Everyone's like talking to my dad. And you're like in the corner like fucking like looking at him like he's about to like plot on you i was exhausted i wasn't i was not in the mood for talking but yeah we met ron's dad i'm not about to talk to fucking parents he uh i saw him and he was like everyone says you're funny i don't see it tell us a joke funny boy yeah i think ron deserves he's like i think ron deserves better as a co-host what happened to caleb where'd caleb where's caleb at they said that ron's co-host i

thought caleb was up yeah where's caleb did you cut your hair caleb did you fall into the fountain of youth caleb no boy yeah ron's dad yeah, Rowan's dad was a nice guy. I feel like that's a big step in your friendship. Yeah, meeting his dad. Meeting the parents. Yeah, I was nervous to bring him home. But you just have to do that. I had no idea what we were going to do. I was about to hop on Instagram and start asking people if I could crash on their couch.

It was the most dire. I was fully convinced we were sleeping in the car because we had no options. And it was 3.40 in the morning. And then I forgot that Rowan and all of his friends are from philly so i feel like we kind of could have figured that out a little earlier that we had like 10 different places to sleep it was two in the morning when we got in so i mean it was like my last resort to be like hey dad like can you wake up like my friends are gonna sleep on the couch yeah i mean then we met one of roan's friends and he was also like 10 minutes

outside of philly and he was like oh yeah you guys could have just slept here but he also has a couch it's like there were five people we had five we needed five hotel rooms except what's his name joe the one of the camera dudes lives in philly he has an apartment there yeah but he was about to fucking he kept on talking about doing nitrous he was about to go home and fucking he had a tank with his name on it yeah a big boy he did say he was about to go home and fucking he had a tank with his name on it yeah a big boy he did say that he was about to go home to a fish concert yeah ice cold fatty he was about to have a fucking he was like if i go home right he was like if i go back to my apartment right now you're never gonna see me again yeah and i swear on my life he was

like there's people awake at my apartment and if i go back there i'm not going to bed they're fucking no he was uh joe joe's a good guy he uh he's he was hilarious he was a trooper the entire weekend driving fucking he has he has like dyed blonde hair and we were with these three the besties and they're all gay and they actually i wouldn't tell the story i'm not gonna say what he said well that even makes it worse well he was because he didn't say anything that bad but but also... He didn't say anything bad. Let's draw a little like dotted line

around this section and kind of cut it out with scissors. We're not trying to put Joe on blast like that. Well, it was just funny. He was getting hit on and he didn't...

And he was annoyed that he was getting hit on. There's gay guys there. Not by the gay dudes, but he was getting hit on because he has Well, no, probably by the gay dudes,

but just another set of gay dudes. Oh, yeah, another set of gay guys. He was trying to redirect. was really funny he said yeah and we'll leave it at that he said he had to put his hat on he said once he puts his hat on it no one's everyone stops hitting on him it is a it's an it's a great magnet i mean just dying the hair blonde sass when are you about to go through that phase i was gonna dye my hair senior year of high school and then i decided not to and then i decided i'm never gonna do it i also was gonna shave my head freshman year of college and then i also decided i'm not gonna do that yeah you would uh you have to be super super jacked

to shave your head yeah like channing tatum yeah and you're not that you're not super jacked you're just not there yet and i think you're on a journey and i think that we're on the journey together and uh i want to know how it's going for you like what are you what are you doing for bulking season because like you've been getting a lot of positive feedback sass is jack now you were walking around campus yeah no i'm not gonna bulk anymore i'm gonna cut actually no yeah no yeah it's not time for that yeah it is are you you're plateauing just you got to change your routine up you're probably just plateauing i'm just gonna cut until i get down to like 12% body fat and then I'm going to bulk again. Dude, you don't cut in the wintertime.

Yeah, but you do when you have too much excess body fat. No, you turn that into bulk, Chaz. No, I'm not. I don't want to bulk any further. Why? I'm not trying to get any more fat. I think that you can do it. I think that you can bulk. I don't think that get any more fat. I think that you can do it. I think that you can bulk.

I don't think that you're that fat. Do you feel fat after this weekend? Because everyone's like, sass is jacked. Is it because of your diet? Yeah, I don't know. I saw a picture of myself that someone sent that we took, and I was like, ah, time to cut. Where did you see it? If you were circling your problem areas like Dr. Miami.

No, but I'm saying, where did you see the fat on your body the face yeah yeah it's building up wait was that the one they put you in a trump sweatshirt no i didn't see that one oh because that one was edited they made you oh yeah yeah i saw that one no no the trump sweatshirt wasn't edited here no the fat was edited oh yeah it made me look even fatter which i didn't appreciate. Yeah, that's fucked up. People were saying you're looking swole, though. Yeah, because I'm fat as fuck. They don't know that. They know that you've been to the gym and that you're looking swole. I think you've been misleading people for a couple

months. I go to the gym like once a week now and I just eat. I'm still eating as if I'm in a bulk. You do tweet about it every time you're at the gym. There's a paper trail a mile long about your gym exploits. Yeah, I want to go to the gym, but I also want to do open mics this week, which I don't want to do at all.

Well, you can't do both of those things. No, you really can't because it's like they all start at 5 and they go the whole night. Gym starts at 5? Yes, that's when I go to the gym. It doesn't start at 5. I got to go to the open mic or I got to go to the gym. There's not a time that the gym opens. You could just go in the morning

You don't have to be here You're on the Cooper schedule You're strolling for the podcast Nobody asks me for anything And then fucking you go home Yeah I don't know I don't want to do open mics at all But you have to

If you want to get a comedy special I don't even want to do this show that I'm supposed to do on Friday You have a show on Friday? Yeah it's already sold out Wait are you the H-Liner? I don't even want to do this show that I'm supposed to do on Friday. You have a show on Friday? Yeah, it's already sold out. Wait, are you the H-liner? I don't know. I'm on the top of the list. So you're the headline. I think it's pretty even though. I think it's like four. Are you

going to go last? I hope not. I stalked the rest of the people last night. Did you? Yeah, I've already looked at all of them. What do you mean stalk? Stalk their Instagram presence or their like acts that they have online everything oh really oh you stalk like a girl owen i like the idea of i'm a detective i'm the fbi girls are so the fbi no uh but what did you find out about them own did you get to the bottom of it i just watched like all their sets and i didn't watch any of their sets.

I just looked at their Instagrams. That's the best way to see if someone's funny. They're still photos. No, they all post like TikTok types on Instagram. And Verdict? Well, I'm definitely funny girls. I'm definitely funny in all of them. No, but I don't know i was watching all these clips from like the jimmy

fallon show called worst i ever bombed and i was like i don't know why i'm doing this it's like watching plane crashes before you're bored you're flying yeah and i'm only doing 10 minutes so it's like it's not the end of the world but i i like the idea of being on a comedy show and then selling out but i don't like the idea of actually having now to go do that comedy show yeah it's also at 11 o'clock at night come on come on a friday that's when people go see comedy what do you mean you think that they're tailoring it so you can have a night i'd rather go see it than be in it but it's their night out it's these people's night out you have a responsibility to give them a good time you just want want the numbies. So now I gotta do open mics all week to try and figure out what I'm gonna do.

Hone the craft. How many minutes do you have? How close are you to being able to do this? Oh, I've definitely got over 10 minutes. True. Well, he's never... He's only seen me do it once. I have...

I have over 10 minutes. So you just have a bunch of shit that you've never said out loud? No, I've done most of it. I have some new stuff that I want to do tonight. That's why I want to go do an open mic tonight. Let's fucking go, bro. What's the nature of this stuff? Don't worry about it.

Is it about those fucking... You'll have to pay and see. So I heard a hiker died. Can I... Once it's time, and I know it's not time yet but maybe like we're a month out from it when you're ready to do your comedy special may i direct it yeah of course excellent i'm thinking we're doing it on a stage we uh we watched the shane gillis special when we were at this airbnb the first night so fucking funny i don't

remember watching the end of it because you were so fucking high no i think it was because me and you watched it and like we both like left the room for some reason oh and was in an awful mood that day yeah that was one of the worst days of my life i wasn't feeling the vibe i wasn't really feeling the vibe so i just went into my room too wait. But then I rewatch it, and the ending is so fucking funny. What's the ending? The Special Olympics bit. The Special Olympics thing? What's the punchline of it?

Better than I'm not going to give it away. See? He's learning. Why was it the worst day of your life? You remember it. You even came into a meeting room, and you're like, you gave me a dollar and told me to cheer up. And did you? It worked, right? it's hung up on our fridge right now yo let's go he turned the one into owen oh wow that's so meant a lot to me because i could have done boner easily or roan and i fucking made it

into owen that shows selflessness growth and kinship with owen but you never really you just said that you were just having a bad day was it something really deep and dark that we could like kind of turn into fodder for ourselves you know um no okay now i think he was just having a bad day um that's what happens yeah we watched the special and then we just smoked a fat joint after worst experience of my life oh shit he actually did smoke a joint well we did have we like had planned i said we stopped in dc the night before i was shooting something in dc and my friend is uh he sells weed legally there in dc and he gave us the fucking chudley cannon fucking blunt of all blunts it's in this like pink box it looked like you were

opening up a fucking diamond from those joints it was one of those blunts that you see like on online and they're like what do you do after you smoke this but it was like and then it just broke in half yeah we opened it up and it just like crumpled like it was uh indiana jones like crypt or some shit like that i was not gonna partake in that the whole reason i smoked it was because why i wanted to show off i walked into the room and you were just like fucking holding it in your hands drooling over it it was like the holy grail you were holding it up fucking just so so enraptured with the thought of getting high off it it was like the box in pulp fiction it was just glowing up into your face as you opened it. What happened was I wanted to show off

my joint rolling abilities, which are very good. Much better than Roan's. I've showed what Roan's joints look like. He conveniently does this after I went to sleep. I'll post a picture of the joint that he rolled. I have a picture of him posing with it. It looks like a cigarette. It's perfect. Remind me to post a picture.

There was a cigarette roller and a joint, and mine was significantly better than the cigarette roller. Once you've gotten to this point to the episode, remind me to post a picture of the joint that Saz rolled, because it looked like someone had just taken a shit in a piece of toilet paper and just rolled over it with their hand. That is so untrue. It was so good. And the shit was just cascading

out this is like right before this is right before we're going to bed it was so good that they decided they had to smoke it right then and there and i don't smoke weed i haven't smoked weed in probably over a year they literally they lit a bonfire for it yeah busted out a guitar and started singing kumbaya they had to smoke it right then and there and then they made its way around the circle to me and i was like i'm all set thanks and then i was like yeah maybe i'll have one hit i haven't smoked weed in a very long time it's like bobby flay not trying the cornish game hen he made you're gonna try that shit yeah exactly i was like well i gotta check out to try out my own product and i uh i think i took one hit char Charade the pull. Yeah.

No, no. Full charade. What, you did it in no hands? Hold it. Okay, so a baby rip. Little small rip. Didn't even go to your lungs. Kind of just marinated in your throat a little bit. I forgot that when you smoke weed, as soon as it enters your lungs, you're high.

You thought there was an incubation period i don't do drugs and i i was thinking about like drinking a beer maybe it kicks in five to ten minutes after the fact and uh and then i made its way around again i took one more hit and i think within five minutes after the hit i was in bed with the lights off just like Googling how to talk myself out of a panic attack. And what were the results of the Google? What did Google say? It was bad. Stop being a pussy.

It was a rough night. I was like, it was really bad. And I wasn't there. Everyone said that as soon as you took the second hit, that you went into like a cat cow pose on the ground. I were just on all fours and your face was white as a ghost. I was listening to like the Grateful Dead. Trying to like stay calm. They said that you were having someone put

like a wet washcloth on the back of your neck. Google doesn't help though. It's just like you shouldn't have done it. Can't put the toothpaste back in the tube now. Hi boy. I had them call my mom. And I was like, Mom! It's okay, honey. Something was in it.

That wasn't weed. Put one of the other boys on the line. Hold my baby's hand. He likes when you pet his hair. Rub his back really slow. Yeah. Run your fingernails real nice down the front of his forearm. He'll like that.

It's soothing. Make him guess when you get to the crinkle in his forearm. I was actually, at one point, I was contemplating getting in the shower and taking like an ice cold shower, snap myself out of it. But yeah, it was rough. Really not good. And then I just decided, like, so then I also took melatonin, which wasn't smart because I think it made me just extra tired and i like couldn't sleep so i was just oh i was just battling demons for like 30 minutes straight and

then your brain chemistry was like dexter's laboratory yeah it was really bad shit was off kilter and it was off of two of the small i didn't even think i was gonna feel anything but it was just instant like oh my god why did i do that and it wasn't like it wasn't like we said it wasn't the crazy blunt or anything like that it was just the most regular not even extraordinary weed it was just like fine weed yeah it honestly made me respect people that smoke weed more salute boys yeah and i was like damn you guys are the real heroes i was like i don't know what part of this is fun at all um yeah and then i you don't know what we go through out there

smoking weed we're going through that panic attack on the daily going through that five times this morning already yeah so it was bad i eventually i fell maybe seals or guys who smoke weed i fell asleep and i thought like the whole thing is smoking weed is like oh you don't wake up you feel great when you wake up it's amazing i felt awful when i woke up maybe the word i felt like sick i was like something's wrong like i felt like i was like shooting up heroin the night before it was strung out yeah it was it was brutal what uh and i had to take a shower there's no soap in the shower just hand soap washing my hair with hand soap you could tell and then we had to go walk around penn state for like 17 hours 11 miles so fucking hot out i can't stress 11

miles and somehow all penn state's uphill oh yeah it's like an mc escher painting huh i thought tyler said 23 that was 23 000 steps oh okay 23 000. I think that was over the weekend. 23,000 steps. Oh, okay, okay, okay. 23,000 steps yesterday. Maybe 23 miles over the weekend. He's just trudging. And I was so thirsty the whole time. And I was like, to the besties, I was like, do you guys have anything to drink? Like, I just need something to drink. And they come back over with like vodka and like pomegranate juice.

Oh, like anything else but this. Just prune juice. Something that'll get all the water out of you you want to look skinny best you're gonna want your fucking obliques to be rippling bestie i don't think you under i'm trying to think what else you might have put in your body the day before that could have made you feel that bad because the raw steak from the turn axis roadhouse oh, that actually... And those were raw.

Yeah. Still mooing, for sure. How do you order a steak? Oh, and you're a foodie? Medium rare. Yeah. That's what we order, medium rare. I feel like that's like...

This was like, you can usually see where it's like been cooked, like into, like, you know how it's like, it'll be like the... A little char on the outside. Yeah. Barbecue Twitter, keep us honest here. This was just, literally just the outside had been cooked. It was beyond rare. I ate the whole thing.

I stepped up my chain food order to medium. Yeah, it makes sense. I just don't understand how, like, cooking steak's easy. Have you done it before? Yeah, I make an amazing steak. It's easy to do it. You literally just put it to like the certain heat level and then you set a timer for how long like there's recipes online it's like you basically

have to do nothing yeah i would get it out it's perfectly cooked i would think the change would like overcook it a little bit because they don't want people getting sick exactly like the next day but i guess some like there was one like maybe it was fucking carl's junior or something they were undercooking all their hamburgers because they like. Hamburger undercooked is gross. Yeah, they weren't getting it to 155 degrees and it was just like fucking. It's like a hair dryer. Harry and I ordered.

Just breathe on it real easy to get it to 155. Harry and I ordered Outback one time. Yeah, raw. And I think we got it delivered. So I think they thought it was going to cook a little bit on the way over. In in the styrofoam that's why you know the styrofoam that it's supposed to cook more when you let it rest but it came it was just blue it was completely that was the most raw steak i've ever had and i showed it to brandon walker because he was like let me see as the guy must he's like you know i cook a lot of steak right and he like because he was like he was

he was hoping so much deep down that it wouldn't have been rare like it wouldn't have been raw he wanted to bust your balls and be like oh you're a pussy yeah and he thought he was like that is raw i am actually the pussy yeah yeah he bent the knee what's going on outside they're coming for you harry that's the thing i miss most about school yeah teachers being like they're coming for you oh yeah i never got that one that's a funny one though because you weren't the bad student in class wasn't no what else when we were at texas roadhouse rowan told them it was my birthday when i was in the bathroom and he did this when we were in uh at ruth's chris and we were at ruth's in uh in kenneth's

are you on a first name basis with ruth chris ruth chris i don't know it was called ruth chris ruth's chris we're at ruth's chris chris it's a very fancy restaurant it was very nice uh they told him it was my birthday and it was actually it wasn't bad like they brought they just brought out some these cheesecake cupcakes and they were fantastic delightful maybe the best cheesecake i've ever had in my life this this one they i'm in the bathroom and i come back and as soon as i get back i look over at one of the waiters and he's bringing over a saddle and i'm like and i'm looking at him and he's making direct eye contact with me and i was like fuck and then i like a tractor beam and he brings over the saddle it's like it's like on wheels yeah it's a real saddle and they just get

up they they make me get up on the saddle and i was like i was very hesitant i was like i don't want to get on the saddle and they were like come on get up get up and i was like roan you get on the saddle and they were like no come on you got to get on the saddle like the people that work there yeah they knew it was your birthday and then they make me get on the saddle and it was just mortifying oh and i'm sending you the video right now because it's just i went to ruth chris as a child ruth's chris my family had a gift card and it was about to expire so we had to go yeah and i had a stomach bug so everyone got steaks and i got a chicken noodle soup oh geez probably a good soup yeah they don't have beans there though they don't have they don't have any chili no they don't have baked beans no that was at texas roadhouse oh oh yeah oh you're right you're right oh ruth chris

oh you fucking i thought you're talking about texas roadhouse you got it this was that ruth chris ruth's chris amazing great steak fantastic i had a great time there but yeah the saddle was mortifying i mean and then they're like i just sent it over like ladies and gentlemen let's get everyone's attention and he's like what's your name and i was like harry and he's like everyone everyone i want everyone to meet my my brand new friend harry and i'm just sitting there on this saddle yeehaw and then they're like get off the fucking saddle get off the saddle we have someone to get someone else's birthday they like picked up the back of it and dumped him off of it also what happened to like aren't they supposed to like check your id when you say it's your birthday no because i want you to get caught i

want you to get it's not stolen valor to get busted. It's not stolen valor. Yeah, Nate, what sign are you then? What hospital were you born at? Well, that's probably because they don't give away free shit at this place. Oh my God. Here's the video of it happening. He just puts you on a fucking saddle. Oh, the saddle is mortifying. Look at those thighs.

The guy's dead in his... Oh my God, mortifying. You just have to sit on the saddle the whole time. Swallow what you're chewing. Help yourself and celebrate. And a loud and proud Texas time. Stop what you're doing. Ready?

One, two, three. Yeehaw. And then you just get right off. So embarrassing. Oh, my God. You just sit there the whole time. Bro,. Oh my god. You just sit there. Bro, you were so awkward. Yo.

They just make you sit there the whole time on top of this saddle. And as much as you hate doing it, there's no doubt in my mind all those waiters and waitresses hate doing it. They're dead inside. Yeah. Stop what you're doing and swallow what you're chewing. Well, that food looks bad, too they want it was it was okay they corralled you over there and like imagine being one of the other waiters just fucking getting called away from like you're

all it's friday night game night you're a student on campus just trying to fucking cobble together something to supplement your back-breaking student loans this isn't even fucking making a dent you're gonna have to work at texas roadhouse for 45 years to pay off your student loans and some asshole's pretending for it to be his birthday so you can fucking like surround him and yeehaw like it's a four-year-old fucking it's embarrassing on every single level and then we get there was another lady who did that they did that for her birthday and she was pissed they were all pissed though it was like they told the guy it was her birthday and they were like mad at the result of it because he didn't give enough

no i think that they were pissed because we said happy birthday to them and like they were the supposed to be the ones at a texas roadhouse having a birthday and you stole their shine like it was their moment in the sun maybe and they're like roadhouse having a birthday and you stole their shine like it was their moment in the sun maybe and they're like it's not his birthday he's not even that happy yeah the lady was wearing a crown and a sack yeah that is true she was dead serious about it you fucking slagged off the opportunity to fucking really yeehaw yeah she was riding it like a bronco she was fucking well it'd be one thing if the saddle was moving that would be much more uh fun feels like a bull ride they made you hop on the bull but it was just a saddle

it was just a regular old it was just a chair with a saddle on it yeah what you should have done before you sat down there was shave your massive bush of pubes and if you had wanted to do that you could have hollered at our good friends over at Manscaped. This is a candid story that I wanted to tell natively. Manscaped, you're going to get 20% off and you're going to get free shipping if you go to manscaped has a ton of stuff to have your dick, balls, penis head, penis base, and grundle looking absolutely fantastic. The performance package 4.0 by Manscaped is the ultimate parlay to take your grooming game to the next level. And hitting a favorite is fun, but shaving my balls with confidence,

the folks over at Manscaped have given me, you and everybody just that confidence to mow how you need to do it with that Lawnmower 4.0. Harry, tell them how much you like the Lawnmower 4.0. I love the Lawnmower 4.0. Yee-haw. Yee-haw. Give a yee-haw if you love the Lawnmower 4.0. I love the lawnmower 4.0. Yeehaw! Yeehaw! Give a yeehaw if you love the lawnmower 4.0.

I love it. I love shaving my set with it. Gets the job done every time I use it. Wait, did you see Harry's set in that picture that we took by the... We had a lot of people complimenting on your set that we took by the... We had a lot of people complimenting on your set that we took by the Nittany line. They're like, boy, this guy's set is looking not only

massive, but you could tell exactly where it stops and ends. There's no poof of pubes because he's obviously been on his manscaped fucking... He's on that 4.0 diet. He's getting his balls and nutties, right?

I am. Yeah. And, uh, that's why you need to get, get with the manscape folks. It's 20% off free shipping. Like that's a fuck.

That's a good ass deal for your, for your, for your genitals and your penis and all that. So that's 20% off free shipping, manscape.com slash son, a clean Trinity. That's your penis. That's your,

that's your, your dick your that's your your dick and your both of your balls yes your penis your dick and your balls manscaped dot com slash son I think it's dick ball taint dick balls taint taint yeah unfortunately the taint is nearly impossible

to shave you need to well you need to get on the buddy system yeah hey Harry can you come in and spread my ass cheeks open while i shave my taint shaving the taint would be a lot it would be i wish you could shave it because that's where most of like the sweat and the smell comes generates what do you mean you wish you could save it i merely staple my balls to my stomach and fucking shave underneath no you don't staple your balls to your stomach. I shaved my taint once and it was just a goddamn bloodbath.

That's a war zone in there. That's why you need to get on that Manscaped game and fucking fix your shit up. It was just fucking, you had to triage it. Yeah, it was bad and it hurt a lot. Really? Oh yeah. You should have powdered up your nuts. You got to get it was bad. And it hurt a lot. Really? Oh, yeah. You should have powdered up your nuts. You got to get it waxed.

I've never been a guy who has to powder up my nut sack. Getting, getting, being someone who has to wax someone's taint would be maybe top five worst jobs of all time. Yeah. Pays well. Does it actually? Just like a greasy old man coming in, spreading his ass cheeks. Do you think that those are the guys who want to be showing off their taints? I would get my taint waxed, yeah.

What do you think the benefits are? It just like slows things down a little bit? Yeah. I feel like the hair slows things down. I feel like the hair is almost like a necessity in the taint to kind of catch all the sweat, to make sure that like massive logs of poop aren't just dropping out of your ass just a random one like a dingleberry i mean imagine the alternative a dingleberry you're shitting your pants bruh did you see a dingleberry

bruh don't you're clowning i ain't um did you see that fucking picture of that steelers fan who was just washing his oh yeah washing his pants he just shit himself and he was just washing his slacks out ass naked in the sink i saw that and i said to myself nature is healing we're finally back stop stealing fucking prez's tweets, brother. I think that literally is a Portnoy tweet. It is. He said it. America's here. But I saw also, I think I saw a couple of others.

I'm not saying that he stole the tweet, but I'm definitely not saying that he didn't steal the tweet. Wow. Rear, rear, rear. El Prez. Come on, brother. The tweet police is on your ass. Don't you have any original ideas in your head? The writer's room.

I heard that El Prez has a writer's room like will smith does on his instagram and there's eight people just frantically trying to be like smash the over realistically how many people do you think run will smith's social media accounts i heard it was uh like it's got to be like almost an entire company of people google yeah they've got like video editors because he's always doing those like those like crazy yet well edited videos there's a building there was like one i feel like he's backed off a little bit or maybe my algorithm is just backed off on showing me will yeah i think he has backed off a little bit but i feel like he used to be just like climbing up the eiffel tower and just like scaling everybody it's will smith and i'm on tiktok now yeah and then all like the people

all like the tiktok comedians with like 200 000 followers replying who are like verified and they'd be like what's up will welcome glad to have you just like waving at him super pumped to have you on the app will let's collapse yeah that's always like the weirdest thing is when people with like like just like social media people are like replying to a-list celebrities like thinking they're gonna like see it and then like they'll get like a reply from like taylor swift or like demi lovato or something on their on their account just for a good comment not even for like saying collab no like just like on a post like oh my god this killed me bruh lmao and it's like do you don't actually think that

like taylor swift is in her apartment right now or in her fucking 40 million dollar mansion like replying to tiktoks with a bruh yeah yeah taylor swift is saying bruh it's taylor swift's like some random dude in like canada who got hired for that position and who's gonna get like unceremoniously fired when like something gets too many down votes or not enough interaction yeah who the fuck is responsible for this i always see like screenshots on twitter of like a celebrity replying to like a tiktoker and they're like omg like this is the best day of my life they do the same thing when like the cleveland browns come yeah exactly it's like, what do you think? It's like the quarterback of the Cleveland Browns?

It's some random 50-year-old man in an office who's hired to just comment, bruh, on posts. Or like, this killed me. Or like, he understood the assignment. They have a list of things they're supposed to say. It's like, yeah, it's like a call sheet. It's just like somebody working it. They probably outsourced it to India, and it's like a factory,

and people just have a script that they follow or something like that. Some dude on a beach in a tent. Taylor Swift just trying to cut costs so she's outsourcing to Singapore and just has some random people just filling out all of her shit. Fucking Taylor.

Unbelievable job by my bestie Taylor. Yeah, no, I did see a Taylor Swift one though very recently. Where she was just commenting. Taylor Swift probably doesn't even know what TikTok is. She definitely I've wanted to get into Taylor Swift's music, but

I just know how famous and powerful she is. And I can't take any of her relatable shit. She's just so fucking powerful. She really is like if Jeff Bezos was making love ballads and shit like that. You're not hanging out and going for a walk. You have a social security detail that's going to sniper anyone who tries to take a selfie with you. Yeah, it is weird when seeing – because I remember when Taylor Swift – when my like sisters and my cousins were all listening to taylor swift and it was like she was obviously really famous but i feel like

once they like kind of like go off the radar and like stop making music forever how long is when they become like really famous as soon as i saw her like her mansion on kennebunkport main that's like dwarfs the kennedy's mansion i think it's in cape cod yeah it's like just more massive than like all these people who have like the Rothschild mansion. It's like people have generational wealth and she just like made that instantaneously. Yeah, that's crazy. I just, you can't be relatable, bestie. You got to take some acid or something like that or get down to earth.

Do something. Start doing drugs like Demi Lovato. Or fucking Kacey Musgraves. Go through a massive breakup like Kacey Musgraves. The besties casey musgraves i love casey musgraves well the besties loved her more yeah i didn't even hear you talking to her talking to them about her we i did talk to them about it we agreed that they're like her last album was like more country country bro you're a fake musgraves fan shut the fuck up bro i was fucking bumping golden hour the day it fucking came out fucking not like the besties look at my most listened to music on spotify bro

you know olivia munn was trying to fuck uh casey musgraves wife husband fuck dude casey musgraves doesn't have a wife bro the fuck yeah i didn't know that munn is uh mun Mun is a homewrecker, bro. What is Mun's origin story? I don't know. What does she do? Did she get bit by a spider? Was she on G4 or some shit like that? Was she a cool video game gamer chick type of person or something like that?

I don't know anything about her. I thought she was a model. gamer chick type of person or something like that? I don't know anything about her. I thought she was like a model. I think she's like, I think she's of the Chrissy Teigen ilk where she's like... Oh yeah, just like famous because...

But no, but people who like rode the like cool girl I eat pizza wave. Remember that when pizza blew up? Oh, she's an actress. What? I thought you were saying everybody that like the cool girls who ate pizza are all actors i thought that's how you could tell she was an actress you know she's a cool girl eats pizza oh she's an actress you know yeah olivia munn is an american actress and former television host oh she was in ride along too oh Okay, well that makes sense then. Oh, that's what I know her from. Ride Along 2.

Ride Along 2. She was definitely like when Pizza and Maxim were huge, she definitely like rode Maxim to the top. I thought Ride Along 1 was supposed to be like awful. I didn't know they had it in, oh yeah, 5.9 out of 10. But what did it do at the box office, bro? You're looking at the wrong numbies. True.

You know a movie I watched last night that I did not like? Talk to me about it in a second after we talk about me undies the good folks over at me undies because we know that mun is fucking the mundies she's fucking i hate mondays i love olivia mondays and i really love me undiesies. MeUndies. MeUndies. Are you afraid of the glow in the dark? Well, shield your eyes because new MeUndies Halloween just dropped. Dead.

Just dropped dead. You got to wait for a punchline. Dead there. Unbelievable. No, like dropped dead, bro. You don't get the fucking joke, bro. You don't fucking understand it. By the way they phrase it is halloween just dropped period dead period i think it's a quadruple entendre that i like it's like i'm dead it's like i'm dead right now like you will be if you don't get some fucking me undies in your life i love me undies by the way

and that's on God. They, they cup your penis perfectly. They do. They make, is that what you were wearing in your print pic? That might've been a fucking, I actually have my me undies in my backpack right now. I always keep them on me,

but, uh, pull them out. Well, I don't have my backpack in here, but, um, me undies are good to wear,

but they're also good to flash like a police badge. Yeah. Like you just want to have your me undies like in your front pocket so you can whip them out and be like me undies i got that fangle at me me undies are are they cup your penis like i've never experienced in my life it feels like someone's just just holding your dick and your balls together and you also don't need to work out because they'll give you a striation in your thigh that makes it look like you live on the squat oh yeah of course and that's on god they rack. Oh, yeah, of course. And that's on God. They're very comfortable, too. Yeah. And very, very great designs.

Flashy. I like it. Flashy that you pop those things off. Your woman or your man. You pop those things off and you're making a statement. Oh, yeah. They're going to want to take pictures next to your situation. And that print, please.

Oh, yes, exactly. You don't want to leave the house with those things. You're going to be shielding people away. You want to sell those prints like a fucking Bosque hot knockoff. Every time I throw them on, I feel like I'm fucking Marky Mark in that underwear ad. But it's me undies. Yeah, but it's me undies. It's me undies that you're rocking in that underwear ad.

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Not me, undies. No. You're going to get that shit right to your door. They're going to have it there prompt. You're going to want to slip that on. And you're going to want to do laundry the next day

so you can be washing them again. First time I get some new underwear, I'll wear them twice before I wash them, though. Oh, yeah, of course. That's not even on some freak shit. That's just how I fucking... I'm not freaky deaky. I'm just a normal guy. And they are offering

a 100% satisfaction rate. Oh, okay. So you can get a full refund and you can return those undies. You know what? Don't even return them. I don't know if they say that. You can return your order for a free refund within 45 days. Oh, wow. Perfect.

Send them over my way. If you don't want them, I'll eat them. I'll wear them. Yeah, I'll eat them too. Because they probably taste good. MeUndies.com slash sun. Sun. That is MeUndies.com slash sun. Dude, that was one of my favorite parts about the tailgate.

People just coming up to us and dropping the promo code. They just come up and whisper in the ear, sun. Yeah. Sun. Oh, yeah, that was weird. They, yeah, a lot of Boy Dad fans out at Penn State. A lot of Boy Dad fans out in Philly. Salute.

Salute. Salute to the sons of Sam i know it's good it was good felt good man they asked us to do the uh halftime show at the penn state game but we were like well we gotta get a dip we gotta get the fuck out of here they had saquon out there and then they were like do you guys want to go out too before or after saquon no they told us that we could go instead of saquon yeah but we were like let like, let the kid. It's his homecoming. Yeah. Sass didn't even technically go here, even though.

I did. You did go there. I did go there. You didn't go there, but you went home with some merch. I majored in poli-sci. You put on your little collared shirt. You look like a member of the archery team. It was a whiteout.

I looked good. I looked good. He tried to deuce me up at the fucking stadium for sitting down took a candid shot of me oh yeah that's fucked up bro yeah it was funny it's funny going to like one of those i had a bunion all right it's funny going into those things and like you're like hanging out i'm not like the biggest sports fan people know obviously so like i'm just chilling i had a great time at the tailgate go in i'm like well this would be fun to watch he's an obvious i'm not that big of a sports fan.

He'll tell strangers at the game, like, I don't even care who wins. Yeah, and then we go in and Roan goes full, like, dad mode. Oh, this is fucking bullshit. That was third. Supposed to be third down. They robbed the fucking down from us, bro. That was absurd. I know. It was absurd.

But it was, like, Roan and then, like, one other dude in the stand just going nuts, like up yelling. It's third down. Dude, because it's being- Like the refs are going to hear you and change it. Dude, but what if they had? Or the coaches would be like, hey, that guy knows the game.

Let's get that guy in here. And the Eagles game, Roan was going full dad mode. He just didn't talk the entire game. Oh, you went to the Eagles game too? game no we watched it at his buddy's house we actually watched it at his friend's house the one remember the story that roan told about his friend who flooded the basement at temple yes yeah it was that true story oh good god yeah he's funny as fuck yeah he's a legend he's got a big ass brain he could just make shapes bro he's got he's got a crazy brain school wasn't for him but he told this story about how uh did i tell the story about his college lineage about how he no no no no so he went to temple and the first semester are you talking about the the

story that he wrote yeah yeah yeah so there's a there's a longer backstory but the so that he went to temple first semester he was writing a paper in the first week he went outside to smoke a cigarette he went back inside. The computer had turned off and didn't save. He was like, I'm not going to school this semester. And just he didn't drop out, but he just stayed enrolled in all of his classes and didn't go to school the entire semester. Got a 0.0. Second semester, he went back and he's like, I'm going to give it the old college try.

I'm actually going to school this year. And so he walked around for a week, went to all his classes, had all his books. But one day in his book bag, a chocolate milk exploded. And he's like, college is just not for me. He dropped out again and just spent the days like waking up at 4 p.m., going to Taco Bell, drinking 40s, and then watching Saved by the Bell until 4 a.m. Just pretty nice 12 hour schedule. But he went to his final for some reason. And he wrote out an entire story because he was in the middle of a row and it was a blue book exam. And he had to fill out an essay and he had no idea even what the course was about, but he's like, I can't walk out of the room. I just walked in here. It'll be really obvious. So we sat down the entire time and wrote out a lengthy

ass story about Abraham Lincoln fucking a frog and he said he filled three blue books and it was this an incredible epic about Abraham Lincoln fucking a frog and the teachers found it and the campus police called him into the office

because he signed his name Mike Hunt and his actual name is mike obviously yeah he's one of my friends 15 friends named mike they're all named mike so plausible deniability across the board but they called him in because a woman had been the ta reading it and they're like we're gonna accuse whoever did this with sexual harassment because of this long ass story about abraham lincoln fucking a frog crazy by the way it's insane that would even be like you can't like what it's creative writing he's in college he's exhibiting his creativity you could just give him an f you don't have to accuse him of

sexual harassment does he still have access to that the the blue books no i doubt it no he uh he uh he turned them in it's not like they gave them back to him. And plus he said it wasn't him when he talked to the campus police. It's just like you deny until you die. You never have to tell them. And they couldn't. But he said he like walked. They had you like handwriting samples and everything. And he told the campus police that he'd either thrown out the blue book or it was like back in his room and he threw it or like he threw something out.

He said he either he said he didn't remember what happened he either he left because he didn't he didn't have anything to write down because like he didn't do it he didn't know what to do so he left and he was like frustrated and either threw it out no but he turned in the blue book he threw out something else and they like followed him back oh no he said he never he said he never handed it in so how did they know that it was him then? Because he was in the class and his name was Mike. I'm saying how did they know the blue book was him? Regardless, the campus police followed him back to his room. And all his boys were like, yo, how'd it go?

And he's like, yo, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And the cops are following him. And then they searched his room. Or they sat there for 15 minutes while he pretended to look for it. Dude, this is the kind of shit you're missing out on by not going to college. Lying to your professors. How big of a part of college is that being? You have

maybe 20 my grandparents died throughout your college experience that you can give away. They're like credits. I had dumb shit. I got accused of plagiarizing on my philosophy final and they gave me zero percent and then like it was a whole thing and i got to redo it but i didn't play oh i don't know

if i did or not and i don't understand how that part works you there was a sentence that was completely copied that was verbatim from somewhere else online you're saying you don't know if you copied it i'm very certain that i would not just copy an entire sentence because i'm like i know they're going to send this thing through turn it in or whatever and they're gonna check to see if it's plagiarized so i'm not just gonna go copying entire paragraphs and she like i i literally bought like the grammarly plagiarized check like the teacher version like i spent like a hundred dollars on it before this meeting so i could like can they tell that i plagiarized this yeah so i could see if it's actually coming up and saying i plagiarized and it got it came back with like a zero percent and then i went in and hers came back like a 50 or something crazy

fam she has the fucking corporate edition fucking superstar heavy duty edition yeah so it was like a whole thing and uh they ended up letting me just redo it but then i definitely during the covid when we when we got sent home for covid i definitely used a couple like oh you just said during the covid like it was the Great Depression. It was. Like it was the Dust Bowl. When we got sent home for COVID. During the COVID.

I definitely used. Why do you sound like a gold miner? This is right when I was getting hired at Barstool and I kind of like checked out of school because I was like, well, I'm not going back to school. Viva. And. Portnoy wants me yeah and uh and i definitely used like mental health excuses a couple times and i used one i was like hey i guess for the final and i was like hey like i really uh really need this uh i need a little bit of an extension on this paper

like i'm just really not doing well blah blah blah and then i got the extension i just never did the assignment really was done with me damn i was in college just a notch before you could use mental health but it's a pretty good get out of jail free card it is yeah nobody's really gonna say shit you can't really say anything say something to me i'll fucking kill myself right now yeah yeah hey i'm not gonna be able to do this test today because i'm going to kill myself if i have to so you really got us there blood's on your hands if i have to come to class today so you decide i don't i don't care i'll i will kill my i don't care at all yeah but just you decide i don't feel like making the decision of whether i live or die today so are you sure you want me to fill out the scantron i had a uh class one time the teacher had a rule if you have to want me to fill out the scantron i had a class one time the teacher had a rule if you have to get up and go to the bathroom during the test you have to come back

and retake it and it was an hour 15 minute long class and i was like 70 minutes into the test and i knew i was bombing it and i just went up and handed it to him i was like i have to go to the bathroom that's that's genius and then i got to retake it and i know i got all of them right and he gave me a 70 really yeah that's annoying i think he he knew i was yeah you should have him dude that's the that's that was always the annoying ass thing when they would be like they average together your two scores when you retake a test you should have gone psycho mode and be like show me which ones i got wrong yeah which ones did i got wrong i know or had your parents come in and advocate for you yeah yeah get you get a tiger mom in there yeah

we'll talk about tiger moms but first let's talk about our good friends over at ship station all right all right let's talk about tiger moms no no let's talk about ship station ship station we all have passions that push us to do things in life like No, no, no. Let's talk about ShipStation. ShipStation. We all have passions that push us to do things in life, like selling your crafts online. All out of deep and burning love for logistics and order management. We asked Barstool if we could switch the merch to ShipStation. Yeah. And they, for whatever reason, are dragging their feet on it. But we want to sell our Son of a Boy Dad merch through ShipStation. Yeah. And they, for whatever reason, are dragging their feet on it.

But we want to sell our son of a boy dad merch through ShipStation. We do. Well, the logistics and the order management. No one's actually passionate about that part. That's why there's ShipStation. They make it easy to manage your orders and get your products out the door so you can get back to doing what you really love, growing your business. ShipStation is the number one choice of online sellers. You can import orders from any sales channel, ship with any carrier using ShipStation's deeply discounted rates and automate just about any shipping task.

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ship shit happen is uh tiger moms tiger moms you love them but you hate them you love to hate them at camp and it was like one of those camps where they take your phone for like two weeks so you don't go on your phone and it's like one kid who clearly had like you know when you sometimes you go to camp to take your phone no no that's like a very very not uncommon thing so i'm not gonna let you guys gaslight me into thinking it is just explain it just because i'm not knowledgeable about it you don't have to be defensive go to camp they take your phone for the whole time. Everybody does.

You haven't done it? You haven't got your phone taken away? They take your phone. And I know this because I've gone to multiple camps where they've done this. So those are phone addiction camps. Yeah, because you were spending too much time on your phone. No, you show up and they take your phone. That's a side the pack.

I don't even know why I said that. That's a side the pack. That's a side the pack. It's a side the pack i don't even know why i said that's a side the pack that's a side it's a side the pack it has nothing to do with the story but anyway yeah we were we got dropped off we're saying goodbye to our parents i was always very like they wrestled your phone away from you as you threw a fit in the fucking parking lot i was always a i was always a very uh they told you you were going to the apple store and you showed up at camp what the fuck is this this is a game stop i was always a very like not very uh i wouldn't really express my feelings so like we would show up and they'd be like everyone would be saying like scream crying saying goodbye to their parents and i would just be like all right i'll see you guys

in two weeks and uh this one kid i have such a vivid memory of this one kid's like mom checking, making sure he has all this shit and everything. And then his mom walks away and he goes, moms, you love him, but you hate him. And we were in like fourth grade. I was like, that was like a, that sounded like something that you should not be saying at your age. I love a fucking young ass kid that thinks he's an old soul. You love him, but you hate him.

You love him, but you can't live with him, can't live without him. Salute, mama. Yeah, it was crazy. Dude, a similar topic. One of my boys was like a caddy. He was like probably about 20 years old and he was caddying for this rich kid. And the kid was probably about 14. this rich kid.

The kid was probably about 14 and he just was teeing off as it was a real early sunrise tee off or something like that. Right before he teed off, he just leaned on his golf club and was like, wow, ain't it? And then just stepped up and fucking did it.

He's 14 years old. What the fuck are you talking about? Wow, ain't it? he's a fucking matthew mcconaughey or something like looking out of the sahara they think they're living in a movie yeah they definitely do wild ain't it all right and just like tosses a fucking club to his beautiful his 20 year old caddy who fucking hates his life is like hung over has vodka coming out of his pores and is like fuck you wow dang it that's crazy moms can't live with them can't live without them god damn god damn moms always trying to push the vegetables agenda it's like enough mom it's like enough mommy i don't want to go betty buys we were literally in i think sixth grade and he's like in a comedy routine

moms you love them but you hate them there's a real wholesome comedian yeah just the kid in your fucking school who's like who would wear a full suit and like have a rolly backpack oh my god what'd you do at these camps this was a traveling camp so this one i think so it was about showing you like that there's fun outside of your screen yeah pretty much it was like a healing camp we're like we we kind of similar to like the mincey project we had to wear like shock collars and every time our phone buzzed we would buzz with it they were trying to have condition and negative response yeah trying to teach us that pavlovian negative thing they forced us to watch like 10 hours of joe rogan

talking about how the phone is just a black screen that we're that we're possessed by the idiot box you got to put down that idiot box they will put your your phone in a pile of shit so anytime you grab that you would have a negative pavlovian response to fucking grabbing shit how long do you think it'll be before barstool has like a camp barstool summer camp i mean this is a good ass go play baseball with marty mush or like it'll be like disney world where there's like marty mush impersonators yeah yeah yeah like having a guy play marty mush like they play cinderella yeah a guy playing glenny balls abuse the glenny balls float yeah there probably will

be like a barstool summer camp ride the rocket ride yeah who wants to ride the rocket yeah they have like they have like fake podcast sets i did i think espn like espn did like an espn zone that they used to have and you could go like sit on like the sports center yeah i think i've been to that i think i went to that when i was younger or no i went to i forget what it was there was like a disney too like disney adventure or like disney downtown disney or some shit like that where you could go and like fucking have like a roller coaster or like they just would like make a smaller experience of it, which I thought was pretty cool as a child.

I'd probably go nuts for a barstool world. Yeah, I would too. Viva. I want to take a picture with Casey. We actually we got a couple of vivas this weekend. Viva! Viva. Real ones. Yeah, real ones yeah real dudes walking by viva

viva popping their shirt yeah oh yo yeah that was thing too no one would be like oh what's up some people would but they most of the people would be like oh is that barstool barstool please out of here with that shit how do they know what was our giveaway that's that guy from barstool because ron was wearing a full fucking plaid suit i was doing it be like why are you wearing a suit what's up with the fucking suit bro yo it's a fucking whiteout yeah put on this put on the fucking put on this shirt these guys would just like, have juice stain, like punch stain fucking white shirts. Like, yo, why aren't you wearing all white? The fuck is wrong with you?

People were really drunk. Really drunk. Barbarically drunk. The guy sitting behind us fell asleep, actually, at the game. And then he woke up. And then he woke up and he was like, yo, what's up, little sass? Little sass? And he started pinching himself.

He's like, am I still asleep? And he just sat behind us and we just talked about the game. It was a very relaxed conversation. And then he passed back out and we were gone by the third quarter. And he probably was telling his friends, I had the craziest dream. I dreamed

I saw Lil Sasquatch at the Penn State game. It was incredible. It was. It was a good time. The whiteout was really cool. It was crazy. It looked cool.

Everyone's holding up their lights. Oh, yeah. The lights were cool. All of the lights. All of the lights. MJ gone. My friend is dead. And it was.

They did play that part. And I was listening and looking at everybody seeing who sings along oh yeah i was not saying mj long mj's dead your what is your what is dead i was really looking forward to uh grabbing an ice cold an ice cold brew at the game little did i know can't buy beer at college games well you, you can't buy beer ever, so I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, brother. Well, when Roan grooms me and brings me to all these places, he makes sure he gets me nice and drunk. Do you? Here, here, drink this.

Drink this. Have one of these. Here, you'll like this. You'll like this. Sometimes Sass. This is an IPA. The taste is a little worse, but it'll get you nice and drunk. It'll get you destroyed.

It'll get you feeling nice and warm. What's a Dirt Wolf? Shut up. Just drink. 90-minute raging bitch. What's an arrogant, shut the fuck up. Just drink this. What's Everclear?

It tastes strong. Shut up. So we left the game and we went to the tailgate. We kind of just like were, we left the game because we had to go to philly that night and we were waiting to meet up with two other guys who are a part of our crew and we were just walking around like that where the tailgate was and when it was like a cooler so we like dived in the cooler and these two kids who were like so drunk come up to us and they're like they were like going at well no at first they were at first they were going to the cooler and we like pulled up on them and rome was like hey like that's our cooler hey yo yo yo look oh

i'm sorry i'm sorry mister they were like oh my god i'm so sorry and they like kind of like walked away and then rome was like no i'm fucking around like that's not our cooler and like how many times you think you told them that it wasn't our cooler and he was like dude if you just don't want me to drink your beers just tell me and he was like it's we were like it's not our cooler dude but we did go into the cooler we our actions were different than our words yeah we were like you can take beers from the cooler it is not ours and he's like dude if you don't want me to have your beers just say it and we were like dude like this is crazy and then And then you guys walk away and the kid comes up to me and he's like, so those aren't your beers?

I was like, no. And he was like, I have so much respect for you right now. He like whispers in my ear. And these kids were young. They might have been younger than me. They might have been in high school. He was like, I have so much respect. You're a legend.

Teach me. And then he goes, now get the fuck out of here. I hope they had a Revitalite the next time. Yeah, me too. That'll bring us into our last advertisement of the episode. Revitalite. We saved the best for last for a reason. Whenever I was drinking Michelob Ultra Golds that day, and those get me a little bit, well well let's just say a little dehydrated and that's why i need to get

into the revitalite sass if you had had a revitalite after your your little steak night after a little run-in with your medium rare you would have been fine the next day you would have been kicking i like to pound an entire revitalite just while I'm sitting at my desk. Calories aren't too high, and I fucking feel like I'm glowing from the inside afterwards. I'm so damn hydrated and so damn chock full of electrolytes, and that's on me, and that's on everything. Revitalite Black Label, that's my personal favorite. That's my personal favorite. Made specifically with stoolies in mind for maximum recovery and perfect complement.

It's not just a... It's the perfect complement when your life gets a little rough and rowdy. I like to drink half at night and the other half in the morning. I don't wait for half and half. That's actually a pro tip is to drink half at night and the other half in the morning. Owen, I hope you weren't trying to plagiarize the pro tip and pawn it half at night and the other half in the morning oh and i i hope you weren't trying to plagiarize the pro tip and pawn it off as your own work that's a pro's tip you're no pro what are you some kind of pro pick up your revitalite black label today in store or online at the barstool store and tweet at us or tag at revitalite in your morning after stories. It's the adult version

of the certain drink you'll find in the baby aisle, but this is for the adults. Pro tip. This is for the adults who are really looking to get down and dirty and then top it off with some Revitalite. That's right. So tweet at us. Tweet at

everybody. Tag at drink Revitalite. R-E-V- I-T-A-L-Y-T-E tweet at tweet at everybody tag at drink revitalite R-E-V-I-T-A-L-Y-T-E in your morning after stories show us what gets you right show us what you're drinking to make you feel real good the next day

to feel to feel cool to feel spicy to feel like you're a new person to feel strong oh yeah to make you realize that it's bulking season.

It's bulking season. And you can put on a little bit more weight before you really start to lean down. Not me, though. I'm leaning down now. No, bro. I'm looking at March 2021 for your lean date. Yeah, no chance. Why?

I'm not going to start leaning out in like eight months or six months. Why? Brother. That is. I got to start leaning out now. All right. I mean... Not just that I have a whole line of shirtless content coming in February that I need to

get ready for. There's a whole shirtless series. Probably not, but now I have to. Well, it's going to take so long to Photoshop your nipples that you need to take pictures right now. You need to make sure you get them right now so you can get the best Photoshoppers in the world on your nipples that you need to take pictures right now you need to make sure you get in right now so you can get the best photoshoppers in the world on your nipples you're gonna have will smith's photoshop team making your nipples jason derulo's team is gonna be on that

you're gonna have a rainbow colored nipple it's gonna be changing every time you take a step your your nipples are just pulsing to the beat. That would be actually a very good video. Disco ball nipples. Pulsating nipples. Anytime I drink Revitalite, my nipples start pulsating. They just start pulsating blue. That's them thanking you. Yeah, they're just saluting you. Thank you for

healing me. Thank you for getting me right. We need to be fucking hydrating, bro. It's the only way. If you've made it this far into the podcast, I would assume you are a big fan, an Advent listener. I assume you're an Advent listener.

Advent listener. So we have a new line of Advent calendars coming out. But before those come out, you're going to want to make sure and go ahead and grab yourself a son of a boy dad sweatshirt. They're flying off the shelves. The boy dad sweatshirts. They are moving quick.

Truly the best selling piece of merch we have. They're letting us use the Barstool Miami background now, which is... Dave said we could do a photo shoot at his Miami house when he's up in Montauk. Yeah. So, you know the boss man likes the merch numbers that we're pushing through. Yeah. Become part of the wave boss man likes the merch numbers that we're pushing through. Yeah. Become part of the wave before they turn into an NFB. Let's just say he looked me in the eyes and said,

I'm proud of you. Let's just say he looked you right at your shoes as you two passed in the hallway and he murmured something to himself. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. And you couldn't tell if he was doing... He called me son.

Talked to type in his phone. Yeah. You're a good kid. You're a good kid. I know I give you a hard time, but that's just how we're talking. He was like, he's a good kid. I'm not going to let you fuck him up just like you fucked me up. And then I walked into Dave's office.

And I was like, do you guys want me to come back in another time? Should I come back later? No, no. I was just leaving. Yeah. I was just getting out of here. Don't bring your shit into this. Should I come back later on?

Just itch in the back of your neck. All right. Should we wrap it up? Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. All right. Thank you for listening. If you're watching on YouTube, please like the video and subscribe. There seems to be some sort of

Disconnect from when I tell you guys to like it And then you don't like it And we can see who's not doing this on the back end And we're going to start calling out names We're going to start dropping names Because we can see every subscriber's name and every liker's name And right now we have some of our top Gumshoes go into a database

To cross reference those two lists To see who's fucking pulling their weight And who's full of shit so it's call out time it's not just bulking season it's call out time it's call out time all right thanks for listening peace