Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 23 - On My Birthday Bruh

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss the Rock, Eric Clapton, Vinnie Hacker, 1000 ways to die, the world's strongest animals, melatonin addiction, Rone's run-ins with the law, Sas' similarities to Beethoven, & much moreYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is October 11th.

It is 3.06 p.m. Eastern of course here in new york city and uh today is also going to be i believe the 23rd episode of son of a boy dad yes congratulations to son of a boy dad my brain chemistry is is all off today but i'm hoping that just as soon as we start talking that the lights will come on and I'll be like Frank Sinatra and I'll just snap the fuck into it. My brain chemistry is all on today. Really? Yeah.

You're buzzing? Yeah, I was listening to that new rock song on the way in. What, rock and roll? You didn't listen to the rock song? Tech Nine? Yeah. Shit, it's heat. The rock is rapping. Yeah, yeah it's heat uh the rock is rapping yeah and it's awesome what was he what was he doing getting on wax what was he doing on the track hasn't he had enough hasn't he done

enough in this world no dude he can do anything he wants what i'm saying he's been successful at everything as of course he's going to be successful at rap he goes it's about drive it's about power we stay hungry we devour it was like the worst song i've ever heard in my entire life but you know people are just bumping it yeah like the same people who are like i'm not afraid those same people are are super into this tech nine tech nine has like a massive do you know who tech nine is i know the name i don't know who him though hottest rapper out of kansas city missouri and uh i think he's like the favorite uh like he's the favorite artist of women who smoke when they're pregnant if you smoke when you're pregnant you're gonna fuck with tech nine heavily big time yeah i don't know i don't know tech nine i've never listened to his

music before but i know of him but i could tell by the rocks rap verse that tech nine wrote the rocks verse for the rock you think so i tech nine wrote the rock's verse for the rock you think so i know it's a pretty basic verse and even so there's no chance that he wrote it the worst part is when he's like what's my motherfucking name the rock when i first heard it i thought this has to be old because there's no way that the rock is going to be cussing in front of the children yeah i think that You think that he's just saying motherfucking in the middle of it? That's how I know he didn't write it. I thought he was one of those people that didn't cuss.

Yeah, exactly. Like, he's a Will Smith type or something like that. Like, he's dirtier of a rapper than Will Smith. I don't know. It seems that way. Give me some more of the lyrics of the song. Whoa. What?

My laptop? What was that, dude? You didn't even even touch your screen i don't know what that was he goes um discrimination defamation if you want to bring wait hold on that's not it desecration defamation if you want to bring it to the masses face to face now we're escalating when I have to put boots to asses. There's no way that he wrote that. Desecration? Yeah, I know. What the fuck is he talking about?

Who's getting desecrated? I don't know. His body's a temple. Maybe they're... What else? Keep going. See if we can put Sass's parts on a beat. Mean on you when a dream...

Wait, I can't... Mean on you like when a dream I'm rumbling. You're gonna scream mama? So bring the drama, the King Brahma, then what? Coming at you with extreme mana? What the fuck is extreme mana? I don't know. His whole thing is mana, though.

Isn't mana like bread from heaven in like a biblical sense? No. Really? Because Owen's giving me a vigorous yes. Bro, you haven't been in the old test wrong on all ends what was the last time you cracked this the rock james the mana yeah he brings the mana at first i thought he was making like a moana reference i'm waiting to hear a rap song from like the rock lebron james and like gary v i think they would make a really good song about like nfts yeah and just like conquering conquering all got the tokens they're not fungible yeah just just battling the odds

and constantly breaking through the next of the next level he is very he is like lebron i think lebron the rock and lebron might have been separated at birth oh yeah very similar mindset. They just have that mana mindset. What the fuck is mana? I don't know. He always says mana, though. I always watch his videos and he talks about mana.

Like Hana? Or like, I feel like it's like a Hawaiian phrase. I think it's like being driven or something. You got the mana? You got to have the mana. Bro, you don't have the drive that I got. I don't know what it means. Let's go mano y mano.

Did you look it up, Owen? Yeah, it's the bread of heaven that the Israelites survived on for their 40-year wandering in the desert. See, bro, I knew it was some... He's been cracking his King James. He says it all the time. Oh, okay. He says... So, it's the spirit in When the Rocks Is.

In Hawaii, we have a word called mana, which means spirit. Warrior mana is his foundation. Okay. Bro, why would he rap? He has the mana. Because why wouldn't he rap, dude? Him rapping was like you doing stand-up. He just got up on stage.

That's just a diss, bro. That was a sneak diss. Don't be sneak dissing. That wasn't that sneaky. Don't sneak diss me on the pod in front of all my friends. No sneak, no sneak. I think that people wanted him to do well. Rock fans wanted him to do well.

To do what? Do well. Oh. My friends wanted him to do well. To do what? Do well. Oh. Rock fans wanted him to do well. Do well. I feel like you had some lisp when you were saying that. I do need to get my... Rock fans want him to do well.

Do well. Well. That's what you say. Well. Well. So what, bro? I'm from Philly. I'm from Philadelphia.

What did you get into this weekend, Rone? I was on all types of shit, bro. Yeah? I went to a Chris Stapleton concert on Friday night. Fuck yeah. A little country music. You don't know nothing about that. A little staple. Stapes.

I was out at Stapes. Chris Stapleton. It was bullshit, bro. They made everybody wear masks in there and show vax cards. I was fucking furious, bro. Exactly. It's a shame that the libs are taking over the cards. I was fucking furious, bro. It's a shame that the libs are taking over the country music industry. It is, dude.

It's a damn shame. And just because somebody doesn't want to show a vax card, suddenly they're racist or whatever. I know. You see they're putting that smut on Clapton's name? They're putting fucking mustard on Clapton's jacket? I actually read that. I was reading that on the way here. Did you see?

The headline was crazy. Yeah, he's a nut. But they were like...'s like fat he's like funding bands to go spread like anti-vax propaganda but they also just sprinkled on that he's racist afterwards yeah yeah well they know he's racist yeah apparently he had like some big racist rant on stage a while ago and then he said it was because he was drinking but everybody was cool with him being racist until he was anti-vax yeah hasn't he been racist for a while he's been racist the racist shit isn't new when you write a song like tears from heaven you're allowed to be a little racist here and there would you know my name i remember when i

first found out what that song was about and i was like fuck if i called you the n-word i was like, fuck. If I called you the N-word. I was like, dude, this is not right. Wait, what is it about his son? His son like fell out of a skyscraper window or something. Because he thought he was Superman. And that's why you see like the kids in the boxes. Because Eric Clapton was on a bender and like left the window open. Really? Yeah.

So it was his fault. He was overheating and he was like, I got to crack this window. Yeah, I guess. Your own watch. Yeah. And he put his kid in charge. His kid died. Damn. Yeah. But greatest hit of clap but it came out but it resulted in a banger yeah i was listening to

that i had i i literally read the article and then i threw on tears tears from heaven i was just like because now i'm like well now i'm thinking about clapton and i gotta listen to the song yeah it just gotta pop on layla real quick and uh I mean I don't really know many Clapton songs except for that one do you know Layla? I don't damn bro it's about his daughter that uh laughing

laughing it's about his daughter who fell out of a skyscraper his whole fucking catalog is about his like he had 12 children oh man like joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat they all died one by one and he made the fucking greatest album of all time based off of it i need another kid to die he uh he was on the anti-covid and like anti-lockdown thing early on.

Clap was? Yeah. Absolute. I know. He stuck by his convictions. The voice of a generation. Yeah. Not our generation, but still he's the voice of a generation.

Oh, yeah. It's pretty hard to be the voice of a generation. And what, are you going to give that up and try and be the voice of the next generation? No. Definitely not. Stay where you're at. That's what a lot of people don't understand. Yeah.

A lot of people, they don't have like that mindset. Well, they'll never be the voice of the generation. You can't be the voice of two generations. It's never worked before. Jesus tried that shit. They killed him for it. Yep. Fucking Hitler tried that shit.

They murked him for it. Yep. You tried to be the voice of too many generations. Yes. If he just had- He catches up with you. Stay in your lane, bro. Catches up with you.

That's what Jones, Alex Jones is the voice of his generation yeah not another generation not our generation addison ray vinnie hacker is the voice of his generation my mom we were talking about vinnie hacker yesterday when i was home and my mom uh my my sisters were like oh my god you met vinnie hacker and i was like yeah and then my my mom like looked him up and like watched one of his videos and she was just like shocked she was like this is what they like do for a living which video did she see yeah i mean just i think just any one of his videos they don't do anything they just stare at the camera yeah he just was like hot and uh inoffensive yeah and he's also like super like not funny or cool really when we met him were you not there i was in the i mean

he was just playing family feud yeah but he kind of just seemed like a tool but you're trying to put mustard on vinnie hacker's jacket now dude don't put mustard on his jacket oh i'll muster his jacket up i don't give a fuck don't put fucking it's not i'm ever gonna see him again don't put smut on his name and then if i do see him again i'll be like oh bro i was just playing i was just playing it's just for the podcast. That was all jokes. But it's a comedy podcast. It's just jokes for the pod. Sometimes you have to say shit like that. It is a get out of jail free card.

We could put mustard on whoever's jacket we want. Yeah. Just get the fuck out of jail. Oh, it's comedy. It's a comedy podcast. It's a comedy show. Do you not understand comedy? We just dunked your jacket in mustard.

And then I go into the whole Dave Chappelle bit or Dave Chappelle's speech when Vinnie Hacker confronts me for making fun of him. Which one? I cancel cultures getting out of control. I can't make jokes anymore. I can't say anything anymore. I can't make jokes. At the expense of hot kids from Seattle, all the hot kids from Seattle suddenly act like

their struggle is the same of mine. One thing I didn't understand is that kid's got a full body of tattoos and he's like, isn't he like 17? Is he? I always wonder what people's first couple tattoos are he just woke up one morning i was like i'm getting like a hundred tattoos and i'm just doing like because obviously it's like his brand he's like the cool skater edgy kid right but he's like no he looks edgy but he's not old enough he's not old enough to have the amount of tattoos that he has he's not like an actual edgelord though no he's not like on 4chan making racist jokes or anything like that that's a real edgelord that would be

that's like you know who's real edgelord eric clapton yes vinnie hacker wishes he was fucking vinnie hacker's gonna have a kid and leave his fucking skyscraper window open just because he's chasing eric clapton's coat exactly if vinnie hacker killed his son and then also went on stage and said a bunch of racist stuff then he would be the real edgelord that he's trying to be who is vinnie hacker to explain to people who don't know because i bet there's like a half a percentage or like a decent percentage of people who listen to this that know exactly who he is and there's some people who have never heard of him in their life he's just a it's really not that hard to explain he's just a tick tock he's a goat tick tocker

he's like a young hot goat yeah he's a hot a hot goat. He's on the current Rushmore of TikTok hotties. Yeah, yeah. He has 12.1 million followers. Light work, light work. 12.1 million hackers. That's what they call themselves? They do. A lot of videos getting out of the shower.

Fuck yeah, classic. Which is always awkward because you gotta, I mean, if you're getting out of the shower recording, that means that you're in the shower, you get out of the shower fuck yeah classic which is always awkward because you gotta i mean when you're if you're getting out of the shower recording that means that you're in the shower you get out of the shower put your phone there start recording get back in the shower and then you get out of the shower again and you're like i gotta look real hot when i'm doing this you touch your phone screen with wet hands oh yeah for sure oh yeah or like you're soaking your floor yeah i hope to god he's got a heated bathroom floor. Unless he does like what we do and he records his shower for like an hour and then he just chops up the crap.

Just let it run. He's just got some interns who are like scuttling in and like making sure his print looks right in the towel. Vinnie Hacker getting out of the shower compilation. Highlight video. Highlight reel. But he's on like too much vivance

that day and his dick's shrinking up yeah he definitely has to like jerk off for like a cool half hour to get his chub right it's gonna be hilarious when all those kids are just like wildly addicted to drugs in like two years yeah it is it's gonna be funny yeah it fucking is i'll laugh at all of them because i mean addiction is uh it's like the transit of property you you'll get he's so successful at his phone and at tiktok because he got addicted to it learned the algorithm or whatever and now knows it back like the back of his hand is is addicted to the success that it brings but like that success is like uh he's just trying to fill a hole in his soul that he'll eventually try and stuff up with prescription pills. Yeah. Well, I'm sure he's already doing that.

You think? Oh, yeah. I'm talking about the real stuff, though. You think he's fucking banging hard shit? Dude, the problem is you can't even bang hard anymore if he's fucking... Vinny, bro? You don't do hard drugs unless you got a name like Vinny. Vinny's like an 80s hard

drugs name, though. I know. It's a cool name. I mean, he has a cool name. Do you think that's his real name drugs i know i know it's a cool name i mean he has a cool name do you think that's his real name or you think it's a stage name stage name definitely you think what's his real name let's look up his real name and what his parents look like and do for a living vinny hacker's real name is vincent hacker see i knew he was lying i know i knew he was making it up for the class how did you know he was from seattle washington you freak he said it when he was when we met him bro oh wow his mother is a 911 dispatcher shut up oh she's definitely so he's been through the he's been through the fucking his father nate is an electrician shut up i wonder

where they met at probably a bar they're. I wonder where they met at. Probably a bar. They were probably just making out. They met at a bar, yeah. See, yo, am I the goat or what, bro? If I had to guess, he electrocuted himself and then he called 911 and it was like a her with Joaquin Phoenix type situation where he fell in love with just her voice. And he just, he fucked her sight unseen.

Yeah. He fucked her over the 9-1-1 dispatch line he's like i'm currently hello sir what's your emergency i'm currently pulsating with electricity but i can't help but think about how much i want to fall in love with you right now 9-1-1 i've got an emergency i want to spend the rest of my life with you my dick is full of cum and I need to dump it out somewhere yeah I'm going to need to get this nut off where's your emergency sir just stay right there

he called her and after he got electrocuted he was like what do you think of the name Vinny I want to grow old together and have a child named Vinny they're just cuddling in a ball of electric wire do you like the name vinny just holding jumper cables in their hands and a fucking puddle with their hair shocked out like mar from home alone he had one thing happen a while ago where he got like canceled on his birthday really he is fucking ripped because his mama how come some people just have genetics like that like that's not fair because that is that hard labors vinnie hacker canceled on his birthday for

allegedly using edward n-word he begs let me live no way yo i'm trying to throw around the n-word bro let me live he might be the edgelord that we thought he was. Get off my back, bro. Let me live. Let me live. Can I ever catch a fucking break? Come on, bro. I remember seeing this tweet on my birthday, bro.

For real, bro? He goes, wait, he goes, I can't ever catch a fucking break. Something new every fucking week he said the m word though keep in mind into the camera into a camera to avoid that one but it's not everyone that is against you well it's starting to fucking feel like it he added today today out of all days and every time y'all are proven wrong fuck everything on my birthday br bruh?

And then he just tweeted the n-word right at the end of the thread. I'll say what I want to. Wait, wait, wait. What is this? In his defense, he revealed he's an Obama supporter. Oh, okay. So he's straight. Okay, never mind. So what's everybody tripping about? So what's the problem? He would have voted for Obama in the third term, too.

He later tweeted adding phrases like, I piss excellent and I shit bricks. On that same day? I piss excellence. Wow. Meanwhile, social media was divided with a section of Vinny's followers shading him for the alleged racism while other groups

stood in the TikTokers defense saying that racism isn't real and that Vinny should be allowed to say the n-word thank you okay well okay i get it now let's bust open which side are you on ron i'm on vinny hacker should be able to say whatever he wants does he have a body like that and tattoos like that you can say certain things that people can't say you might as well be black yeah yeah just a prop you know who else we caught got caught saying the n word this week uh tyson fury like right after his fight there was like a video of him like

rapping along to a biggie song is he the bigger one he's a little he's not the typical boxer he's not he doesn't have a vin he doesn't have a vinnie ball pick your next words carefully he doesn't have a vinnie ball saying the n word is one thing but fat shaming is beyond the pale okay so be i thought fat shaming him i just saw a lot of people being like this is a boxer which like it's funny when people say that like being like they're trying to like clearly they're trying to be like nice about it but like you're basically are just fat shaming him in a nice way yeah this is a boxer you probably wouldn't have thought that because he's fat or like somebody who's like 400 pounds is like just found my new favorite boxer

yeah tyson fury's like like fuck you dude i'm not trying to be fucking lumped in with the clubs he's really not fat he's just like he has love handles he's just not like a like a chiseled boxer yeah he just has dad strength and sometimes like there's no amount of cardio that you can do away to like to like get that shit away yeah like me i'll never get rid of my fat what if you popped off your shirt and you're built exactly like tyson i am exactly high ass like long legs and like love handles sitting on top no that's literally what i'm built like he has the funniest body and i think a lot of people are built like that yeah i am i think it's like a very common body type but like he's the only one who's ever had the confidence to pop his shirt off with that body type you see him at uh he was like

with steve ioki he was like with Steve Aoki. He got like knocked down like three times in the fight and then was just partying till 11 a.m. with Steve Aoki. Oh no, that's funny. He's a fucking legend. Yeah, he's a goat. His brain just battered all the way in. They probably have such bad CTE. Oh yeah.

You can't blame him for saying the N-word. Like, what are you gonna say to him? Yeah. Who are you gonna send after him? He's you gonna send after he's basically a vegetable he's basically untouchable yeah he's untouchable and he's a vegetable he's like thanos of uh the n-word i saw a video that was 10 000 pokemons fighting 10 000 thanos and and the pokemons lost by a lot i saw that video i feel like it was weird though because first of all in the video pokemon is not using any of his superpower he's not using his like lightning bolt i think there was like a couple lightning bolts but what but what did it take too long to charge like couldn't those pokemon all

just have like a concentrated attack and just shoot off also we're kind of falling into the uh like 10 gorillas versus a thousand zebras no because this is very recent i saw this this week okay and but i was curious i was confused because also danos didn't have his his got his gauntlet Like 10 gorillas versus a thousand zebras. No, because this is very recent. I saw this this week. But I was confused because also Thanos didn't have his gauntlet. The gauntlet glove. If he had that, he would have been able to destroy all of them in one second. He's basically indestructible with that thing. So maybe that they tempered back Pikachu's powers a little bit.

Maybe since Pikachu wasn't fully evolved, maybe that's what it kind of came down to. I don't know. It was dumb though. Stupid. But I watched the whole video though. Yeah, I watched the whole video too was dumb, though. Stupid. But I watched the whole video, though. Yeah, I watched the whole video, too, because at first it seems like that Pokemon's winning, doesn't it? Because they're not really making any progress.

Yeah. And then all of a sudden it rapidly fails, and then it turns the camera back, and there's like still 10,000. The Pokemon's just kind of sat there like bitches, though. Yeah, I don't understand why the Thanos got to move in on the Pokemon's. The Pokemon's didn't get to move at all.

Yeah, the Pokemon's couldn't have flanked the Thanoses. Is that like a Deadliest Warrior type simulation? Do you think they like programmed it and everything? I think that they must have. But I've got some problems with their simulation. Yeah, we'll fix it. We'll make a better one. I'm very, I think they should bring back Deadliest Warrior. That show was so fucking good. It was sweet to throw in on the background. Yeah.

Samurais. Yeah, it was awesome. Like Green Berets. Yeah, Jesse James versus Al Capone. Yeah, that show was awesome Like Green Berets Yeah Jesse James Versus Al Capone Yeah that shit was awesome Yeah Also wasn't there like Six Million Ways to Die Or something

Was that one of the shows That was also adjacent to There was a million ways to die Is that what I'm thinking of But I never watched that show I thought it was A thousand ways to die Oh it's a thousand ways to die

Yeah I never watched it I feel like it was Like the same kind of family Just simulated death though That was like a That was a category for a little bit. I remember there was one who was a girl practicing sucking dick before a date and then she swallowed the cucumber hole and died.

Yeah. That's what I didn't understand. Shut up. That didn't happen. What are they based on real events or what? Yeah. Supposedly. Cause I saw one that was like,

someone was having sex on a bunk bed and then like the bunk bed collapsed and they died. And I was like, what's, what's the point of this show just showing how people died dunking on dead people i'm sure there's i'm sure there's millions of ways that like people have died that have been like crazy they're just making these people's ghosts relive the embarrassment of fucking sucking down an entire cucumber down an entire cucumber just fucking lodged in your throat i mean that's a terrible imagine the horror of dying that way just a fucking fat ass cucumber on something is like the craziest feeling

because it just hits that and sometimes like if you ever choke back you're like oh shit like it's over yeah you die from the panic yeah like the panic just rises so fast and you yeah just gotta have someone dig down your throat and grab that cucumber and rip the cucumber out oh i'm reading the top 10 uh craziest thousand ways to die pierre in france had a pica syndrome and he ate nothing but coins oh gross what the fuck is pica syndrome what do you think bro he's addicted to money fuck bro he had vini hacker syndrome he just loves money we gotta avoid those pitfalls i know He's addicted to money. Fuck, bro. He had Vinnie Hacker syndrome. He just loves money. We got to avoid those pitfalls.

I know. I know that Vinnie Hacker's at the fucking bank. No. I've never seen him there. For real? Makes you wonder. He probably just eats all his coins. I've been on a very big curious kick recently.

What have you been so curious about? I've just been curious. I've just been Googling random shit. For real? Yeah. real yeah no way all the time i wonder what that means i've been learning a lot i wonder what that means about your i think it's just like i've been i've been out of school for so long and now you're starved for knowledge i'm starved for knowledge i just want to learn what's some shit that you've picked up i've just been googling shit about animals like i was like last night i was looking up blue whale size comparisons shut up so. So big. Are they bigger than a building? Dude, they're bigger than like multiple school buses.

They are? Yeah. But didn't somebody like fall into a whale's mouth recently? There was like a video of like a whale biting someone, but like they couldn't swallow them. Like do they have big ass mouths, but like tiny throat holes? So I was looking at this and yeah dude look at the size of this thing you've just been googling damn bro you got a thirst for knowledge school bus oh shit and that school bus is already

underwater so they're fucked so it's like three probably four school buses probably three school buses three probably four school buses yeah no i've buses. Three, probably four school buses. Yeah, no, I've just been on some goofy shit recently. It makes you think, though. Yeah, and then I was looking up the strongest animals in the world, and it's like a beetle. Pound for pound? A beetle can carry, a beetle, like how strong, it's like a buffalo beetle. A comparison for that, it's like a human would be like if a human could carry like four buses filled with people really

yeah beetles are thorough as shit yeah they could fall from like the empire state building on their back and just like get up and like walk it off just like trudge away there was a when we were in uh in nashville there was a grasshopper that kept on we were on the 18th floor and there was a grasshopper that kept on trying to fly in my window. It would just fly into it and just smack up. I squared up with my window one time. I thought I was about to fly through the window. I thought I was about to have to box this grasshopper.

But eventually, it must have just fallen off. It must have just fallen the entire way. And these bugs are just hard-headed. You can't break a bug. No, you really can't especially a beetle yeah it's yeah it's a it's a it's called a dung beetle and then number two is a rhinoceros beetle these beetles are just toughest buck wasn't a rhinoceros beetle in um lion king i don't know oh yeah i think so they're just marching around yeah and then timon and pumba

were just snacking on them yeah which makes you think how strong is a is a warthog's jaw if they can just well i think you could it's it's it's based off of like relative compared to body weight got it so it's like we could still obviously kill a beetle like when like ants are like super strong like their grip strength i think ants are up there also like the uh the jumping ability of a spider like if we could jump like spiders or like some of the spiders we'd literally be jumping like spider-Man. You have been learning. I have. I've been learning a lot. What are you off, some like Delta

8 or something like that? No. Just pure THC? CBD? Pure hunger for knowledge. You're just thirsting. You're just fucking cracking inside the pedias. The book boy. The Roman swipes. That's probably what it is, bro. You're trying to get your brain bigger. I know. I've been rubbing the Roman swipes on my brain so that it is, bro. You're trying to get your brain bigger. I know.

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He did. Before he left. He personally endorsed it. He whispered into both of our ears. He said, hey, bro, you want to know why I'm so fucking hot and why girls love me? It's the swipes. He whispered in my ear. He goes, swipes.

He told it, hey, boys, keep talking that Roman shit, man. It gets me through every episode. You boys get me through the day. I was going to commit suey big time. Then he whispered the N-word into my ear. He says, I'm going to commit suey if I can't keep on saying the N-word. As long as I got these,

no one can stop me. He told us to put that on a wife beater. I'm going to commit suey. Was he rocking a wife beater. I'm going to commit suey if I do. Was he rocking a wife beater when he came in? Yeah, a wife beater and some dickies. Some baggy dicks. So sick, bro. When I first saw him, I was like, is that a dock worker?

Does he work industrially? There must be a reason that he's wearing exclusively dickies and cart hearts. You got to be really confident to be able to just pull up somewhere in a wife beater yeah if i pulled up in a wife beater i would get arrested i think you gotta love your nipples to pull up in a white yeah like you have to have like a love affair with your nipples i don't even think i could put a wife beater on and look at it look at myself in the mirror i don't even want to know how i look with a wife beater on. You get put on a watch list. I get like an Amber Alert on my phone. Like someone in your area is violated.

The cops just kick in the door like, who just put on a wife beater in here? It bunches up weird around like... My roommate in college used to wear a wife beater all the time. And I would be like so uncomfortable. If you got a Tyson Fury bod, you can't wear a wife beater. Like if you're on some Tyson Fury... Tyson Fury couldn't wear a wife beater. No, he was really, my roommate was really skinny though.

So he pulled it off. So he looked good in it, you're saying? No, like he just like was like Vinnie Hacker, but obviously way less chiseled and way less tall. Wife beaters used to be for kids that fought. Yeah. Like you used to be, if you were a wife beater, it's like, oh, you're, you're a fight. You're a domestic fighter. Well,

now when I think of a wife beater, you think of like a dude pulling up to like a driving range with like sandals on and like long shorts that go past his knees. Now, I think I'll start thinking of it now, but I've never thought of that before. That's what I think of. Break it down.

You want to do a wife beater episode? If you hit 90 K subscribers. Nah. It's worth it. Matter of fact, I hope we never get to 90k if that's the case. I'm never wearing a wife beater. I'd do a Jankos episode if we got to 90k. Oh, yeah.

I wear Jankos on my fucking arms. We'll do Jankos and wife beaters. When is Dave on? Whoa, bro. Put the cat back in the bag. Bro. Easy. Put the toothpaste back in the tube.

That's supposed to be a surprise when he comes on next episode. He's coming on next episode. Unless people don't want him to come on. We actually should probably just talk about it now. What are we going to talk to him about? I have no idea. I was thinking about... We should just talk to him like it's an interview.

I was thinking about some jokes to make, but then I was like, I don't think he's going to think I'm funny. I know. Or any of the things I say is funny. Yeah, like what's the deal with that? So would you rather just crack jokes? We can't make fun of Vinny Hacker around him because he's like boys with Vinny. Dave wears wife beaters too. Dave definitely tries out a wife beater.

Yeah. After Vinny was in the office, Dave and him went out for drinks. He styled Dave. Yeah. He was like, yo, this is how you roll up your dickies. Yeah. This is how you put a cart heart beanie on. He's like, Dave, why don't we go get you tatted up?

We'll put some tats on you. No tats, bro. And Dave's like, no, check this out. He showed him his inner lip. I'm tatted. I'm tatted i'm tatted shit is so beta or where's dave's no dave has a finger tat does he really i think so i would never get a tattoo couldn't afraid of needles well that's why i didn't get the vaccine

just kidding i did get the vaccine my mom today was like are you gonna get the booster shot and i was like probably not are you gonna get the booster shot? And I was like, probably not. Are you going to get the booster shot? Let's get political, bro. Fuck no, bro. You know what we should have on the podcast? Eric Clapton and Fauci. Yo.

And have a great debate. Yeah. Should we both pick a side or we'll moderate? Or we'll be like, fellas, fellas. Or we'll be like, guys, can we all be friends with like, even if we have different political opinions? And we'll just shoot the shit for an hour. and that way we'll end this this hysteria going on in our country because people just need to reach across the aisle and see like everybody else isn't that different from you clapton is not that different from clapton from london though

yeah probably clapton but he lives in he lived in new york for long enough. Like, Eric Fauci is just... He's an English man. He's an English man. Or Dr... What's Fauci's first name? Giacomo Fauci is fucking... He's basically Eric Clapton without the guitar abilities. Like, they're the same guy.

He just doesn't know how to shred. And if they could just put their differences down, put down their swords, come on, son of a boy, dad. I just Googled Eric Clapton to figure out where he was from, and this says, so you read the Rolling Stone article, I'm assuming? No, I didn't even read it.

You read the headline? I just saw the headline was like, he's also donating money to the band. He gave them $1,300. And they're saying that he's funding... He's funding anti-vax bands. So he's broke. $1,300 from Eric Clapton.

Anytime you give that specific amount of money, like you're broke. Or he's just like not doesn't care that much about it. What's his net worth? I thought he was worth like millions. He definitely is. He's worth $500 million. Yeah, he's got like old money. He definitely owns his masters.

And he gave them $1,000. That's probably just what he had on him. He can't be that passionate about it. He just had it in his pocket. They were making it seem like he was funding the anti-vax, like, army. He probably just drove past the guy with the sign on a cardboard cutout and, like, gave him what he had in his ashtray. Yeah. Like, oh, he's funding them.

God damn. The media, bro. Stop trying to talk bad about Clapton. He wrote Layla. He wrote Tears in Heaven. god damn the media bro stop trying to talk bad about clapton he wrote leila he wrote he wrote tears in heaven oh that's him yeah okay darling won't you ease my worry damn would you know my name if i saw you in heaven you think you're ever going to die? Yeah. Damn.

This might be the last episode, honestly. Fuck, bro. You never know. You never know. How do you want to be remembered as? A 20-year-old? That wouldn't be bad. Because it wouldn't be bad to die and people would be like, he had so much potential.

Oh, that would be the best. I mean. He was just getting started. That's the best way to go. Yeah. Always on the ascent. Yeah. You never have to see the other side be the best. I mean, he was just getting started. That's the best way to go. Yeah. Always on the ascent. Yeah. You never have to see the other side of the mountain. No, no.

I don't want to see the other side. It's grim over here. It's shadowy and dark over here, brother. It's cold over here. Get out while you can, man. Would you know my name you gotta fucking get clapton as your babysitter man that's the only way out i want to know what clapton said on stage but we'll talk we'll clapton made a song about it you never listened to his song about his his song he's like

didn't he make like a 30 minute song what's with all the confusion bro that's dylan he dylan did a little bit no he fell in did not say anything about the vac wait whatever would do that he might have he didn't he didn't no he doesn't talk to the oen remove yourself don't don't let stan culture affect your opinion of Dylan. He did not. He made a 15-minute song about JFK's assassination. So what if he did, though? Are you going to separate the artist from the art? It's not like you're going to back off loving Dylan.

Yeah, I just don't want you slandering my favorite artist. Bro, we could talk shit about Clapton all day. Slander my favorite artist, then. Slander Boskiot, bro. Dude, like, you can slander Clapton all you want, but when you get to Vinny Hacker, that's where it gets a little rough for me. That's a real artist. We should call up Vinny. Can we text Dave and ask for Vinny's phone number?

All right. No, I'm kidding. Don't. I don't want to talk to Vinny. What if he just gave up? I'd be so nervous. I can't believe that we missed Jay Rich in the office. Oh, yeah, I know.

We both did. He seemed cool. Josh Richards? Yeah, Ja Ray. Ja Ray. What? That's like a thing that people say. No, it's not.

Yes, it is. Ja Ray. Yeah, it's from like an old Cody Co. TikTok. Ja Ray. Everyone called him Ja Ray for a long time. Salute to Ja Ray. Yeah. No, he did seem like a nice kid. Salute to Ja Ray. Yeah.

No, he did seem like a nice kid. I mean, I'm sure. He's very normal. I'm sure they're very media trained. What do you mean? All of them. Well, they all know how to not step in it. Yeah, except Vinny. I thought he did because like we tried to.

I'm sure day one of media training, they're probably like, don't say the N word. He's like, that one. He says, let me live. Yeah. Let me fucking live. I shit excellence i piss excellence it is a fucking savage move to do it's just uh on my fucking birthday too you're gonna call me out he must feel like actual god oh yeah i think those kids all must feel like just the

greatest people that's ever that have ever walked he had a kid with him who had a vinnie hacker tattoo no no one of his homeboys and i think those were the kids that he consulted with when someone made like a jewish joke or something like that he was like is that okay are they allowed to make that kind of oh yeah dude that was so that's what i was that's what i was thinking of that's what i mean like so he made a jewish joke and he's like and he like consulted with his group and then they like nodded and said like that's a permissible joke or whatever. They're like, yeah, we just looked it up. Big Cat's Jewish. It's cool. It's kind of like Vinny. It's kind of like when you say the N-word.

Like how you have black friends? He's Jewish. It's basically the same thing. Don't even really worry about it, Vinny. I thought Vinny was cool, bro. I didn't. I hated him the second he walked in. You were jealous of him. I was jealous of his cool, bro. I didn't. I hated him the second he walked in. You were jealous of him. I was jealous of his smoking hot bod.

Yeah. You wanted to rip his fucking clothes off him. And wear them for yourself. Wait, you were there when he came on? Yeah. And you just didn't say anything? No. Your boy got real cross.

He just crossed his arms. He was like,'s not that cool fuck this guy oh it's like 12 million that's it the capitulant team I wonder what his net worth is what other hot boys

have more followers than him Bryce Hall but Bryce Hall's on the down he's down he's going downhill I don't know if you want to say that bro because he's got A 95% girl followers

and B he's thinking about texting his ex back. Yeah, I did see that. His ex is Addison Rae, right? Yep. And he's got a new apartment with black couches. I was listening to Shane Gillis' podcast this week, and he was talking about how he was in L.A. and how everyone there is TikTok famous. He said that this big manager was at the restaurant and then like six boys in this house walked in, like into the restaurant to meet with him.

And I was like, I couldn't help but think it had to have been Gruen, right? The way he described him, I don't like want to say it, but like. You said big. Do you mean big? Like he said he was a big Jewish guy. Gruen. Is Gruen Jewish? I gruen jewish i don't know i don't know i don't know if you could just put judaism well i am jewish so i'm allowed to do that but you're allowed to just anoint someone jewish yes you could get it's like it's like it's like a hood pass it's like an n-word pass like you give people judaism yeah you just bless people pass? Like you can give people Judaism? Yeah. You just bless people with it?

Yeah, you can. Were you listening to Shane Gillis' podcast to see if he said anything about you? No, I was listening to it because I've never listened to it. And Greer is like obsessed with it and always sends us clips. You know, I mean, the real podcast is War Mode, though. Mm-hmm. War Mode. What QAnon one?

Who's that? I don't know if they're QAnon. But they're q and i what's what's war mode it's uh it's matt's uh because so he's like a but matt is like a super big like conspiracy like spiritual guy too he's just he's spiritual he's like the joe rogan of the podcast he's like though yeah you could say that he's the one who's like rock he doesn't masturbate yeah he doesn't masturbate when he masturbates he's the one who's like rocks he doesn't masturbate yeah he doesn't masturbate when he masturbates he says it feels like a chore and he like hates doing it but he says he has to do it sometimes to drain his balls this is all after the one episode that i listened to but he's uh yeah he he's like dead serious about psychedelics like

he's like he'll take the he took the the blindfolded five five uh grams of mushrooms it's like it's not a joke to him. I know people who are like that with psychedelics, who are just dead serious about it. Have you met Matt? I've never met Matt. Is he a Philly guy too? I think so. Yeah.

I know cousins on both sides of his family. Oh, wow. They have the fucking sickest stories. One of them got in a fight with a kid, and he was about to fight the kid. And he like had a plastic bag in his hand and he threw the plastic bag in the air next to the kid. He was like, yo, look at that.

And the kid was like, what? And the kid, when the kid looked, he just suck a bunch of kids. He used like a plastic bag. It's like a prop to like knock the kid out. The most ingenious and inventive thing.

Like you said, that's like a Jackie Chan move. Like using like a hubcap chan move like using like a hubcap to like knock someone out or something my uh my cousin walked up to someone and said there was something in their teeth and then he knocked their tooth out her no your cousin just punched the girl in the face this how we found out brutal oh and also you got punched in the face by a... Did you actually get punched?

Yeah, by a guy in a hospital gown. Really? Yeah, you know, like 49th and 9th when we turned to take the subway? I had AirPods in.

A guy in a hospital gown just came up and swang at me in the face. Is it swang or swung? People are correcting me both ways. Swang is like how Paul Wall talks about

the candy paint dripping car he drives. No, I ducked back and he hit me in the shoulder. Oh, okay. He gave you a dead arm. And then I was just in shock. I watched him. He did it to a few more people. Holy shit. A punching rampage? I guess it's crazy.

It's better than... I guess I shouldn't say that. That's close to where we live. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys got a puncher in your neighborhood? It's right where we live. That's our corner, yeah. You guys have a puncher? Yeah, we don't live in a great area, but we're almost out. We're gonna be out soon.

No way. Two more months. I mean, no better fucking time to get out. I guess we're moving. BK? BK. Yo! Right in between you and Big Cat's house. Brooklyn! Right in between you and your wife in bed. Welcome, boys.

Keep a place for me. No, we're not. I don't think we're going to move to Brooklyn. We might, but I think we're realistically probably going to move to East Village. Why'd you say that? Because I like to fuck with you. You're pathological, bro. This is bordering on pathological, bro. You're pathological.

No, you're pathological. I'm not pathological. I actually think that hanging out with KB and Nick made me more of a lie for the sake of making jokes. Because now I just make shit up to get a laugh. That's what making jokes because now I just make shit up to like get a laugh yeah I was with that's what making jokes is no it's not not until I like came here it wasn't

uh what was making jokes before telling a funny story telling the truth something that actually happened now I'll be like I was hanging out my family this weekend and and we were talking about something I forget what I said but I just completely made it up and they're like oh my god that actually happened and they were laughing like, no, none of that happened. Like when you said that my dad's like, yeah, I don't see it. Yeah. That never happened. Yeah.

That was a funny joke that you made. And everyone could tell it was a joke. Because the podcast is all lies. Vinnie Hacker never actually said the N word. Just kidding. Thank God. I was worried about him. I just unfollowed him.

I had to take my posters down from my room. Yeah. I had to burn all my hacker art, my hacker cds color them in and put them back up yeah tape them back together i'm sorry vinny yeah i ripped up my my lil nas x vinny hacker air max collaboration shoes oh yeah no way that vinnie hacker and lil nas x collabed bro i know lil nas x personally okay i know him on a friend level have you ever been in a group chat with him i have really yeah shut up hasn't been in a group chat with lil nas x yeah i'm not every group chat you get added to it's like a bunch of then and then Lil Nas X will be in it.

He doesn't reply. But he's just in it? Yeah, bro. Lil Nas X followed me when he had ADK. Shut up, bro. Yeah. And then he unfollowed me.

Back when he was a meme account. Oh, he still follows me. Oh, God? Right now, I'm going to say, come on, son of a boy, dad. Oh, God? Yeah. Do it.

Nah. You're always making me DM Drake. Yeah, but that's for my own personal benefit yeah and this would be my personal benefit yeah i don't want to help you this would be our personal benefit you saw the drake druski video oh it's so funny yeah druski's i want uh druski's hilarious we could have we should have him on the pod yeah i think i'd be too nervous yeah he's on my wish list too. Yeah. So are Gilly and Wallow. We could actually do that pretty easily. Yeah, they're fucking hilarious too.

We could get them on today if we wanted to. That's where I got putting mustard on my jacket from. They always say that. Like, don't put mustard on my jacket. Don't put fucking smut on my name. You're putting mustard on my jacket. And they're serious like they're like about the fight so i'm being like you're putting my fucking mustard on my jacket right now they're hilarious anytime they come on the yak it's so funny and but just also getting mustard on your jacket is infuriating yeah is it though because

i feel like mustard comes off pretty easily no it doesn't oh you've never had mustard on your jacket bro i got a mustard stain on a white sweatshirt and it never came off. There's a key and peel bit about mustard on ties. Really? Mm-hmm. I got pizza grease on my pants before we started recording. Just a shame that I was eating pizza too because today was supposed to be like my big day back. Back in the gym?

Back. Yeah, today I was coming back. Everyone has been like, sass is jacked. Sass is so fucking ripped. Yeah, because I'm just fat as fuck. Is that what it is? Yeah. Well, I mean, that's a good part of fat to be.

That's a good place on the spectrum of fat to be. Yeah, but I'm getting too big and I need to slim down. You're going to get lumped out? Yeah. You're going to be on some Fury shit soon enough? Yeah, I'm trying to get on some Vinny Hacker shit. Yeah, but I mean,

you know that that's going to require an entire lifestyle change. I know. Tattoos, wife beaters dickies the problem is maybe a watch maybe a watch no yes maybe a collective i mean wait are we there yet i think we got to do another one before that no we could matter what we think when we leapfrog it yeah let's go right to vincero i talked to somebody this week that was like i like how on the podcast don't, like, try and trick people into listening to the ads. Like, you just tell people when there's going to be an ad.

And I was like, oh, you like that we suck at transitions. You like that we just jump right into ads. I hope you clocked whoever that was. Clocked. Yeah. Like a Vincero watch. Like a Vincero watch. It was a woman that said it.

So maybe don't wish that. All right. So I was pulling an Owens cousin. They're giving us permission to riff, but we have to keep it brand safe. Okay. So let's start the riff. Let's riff. Let's start riffing.

So I was at the club the other day. Yeah. Don't you mean the bank? The bank. I love the bank. They come up to me and they go that watch looks expensive and i go well not really because guess what i used i used promo code son of a boy dad or i used promo code son for 15 off on for 50 off on an entire order for limited time 15 15 let's run that back now

you need some fucking diction lessons, my boy. Bruh. Go to vincero.com. Okay. You're putting mustard on your own jacket. I'm fucking this up. You take this over. No, no, no. You got this.

No, I don't even know where to go. So I was watching a... I was watching my favorite show, Squid Game, the other day, and I saw one of the characters... Bro, it says don't talk about Squid Game in the notes. God damn it. Hold up. All right. You talk about Squid Game in the notes. God damn it. Hold up. All right, you go, you go, you go. Vincero watches.

Vincero watches. Okay, they're not just watches, though. My favorite TikToker who says the N-word often wears a Vincero watch. Come on. We're cutting that now. Come on, bro. You're about to get booted from the pod.

No, dude, don't boot me from son of a boy One week sussy Vincero is a great brand They don't only make watches It's Vincero Collective They make sunglasses They make bracelets They make watches

Personally the sunglasses that they make Are the only sunglasses that I've ever worn And they're the only ones that I've ever looked good in I love them I wear wear them every day. They make wallets. Now that... They also make wallets. Now that PFT isn't the sunglasses guy,

Lil Sass said that he might be the guy who wears sunglasses in all of his content, but only if they're Vincero. But only if they're Vincero. And, I mean, Vincero's calling card is the watch. Sure, they do everything else, but if you don't have a Vincero...

They have some nice-ass watches. Oh, my God. Yeah, watches to die for. Spectacular. sure they do everything else but if you don't have some nice ass watches oh my god yeah watches that to die for spectacular like uh patrick bateman would wear type of watches yeah just beautiful bateman watches and guess what they have over 30 000 five-star reviews featured in forbes business insider newsweek vincero offers you a shopping experience you can be proud of vincero has a carbon has been carbon neutral since 2019 investing in solar energy, hydropower

and forestry. You don't get a lot of brands like that. I actually heard that Rolex is donating money to destroy the environment. They're actively using Rolex Collective to knock down the trees in the Amazon. I'm hoping our listeners are not a fan of

that. I'm hoping they're a fan of carbon neutral companies, especially a carbon neutral company that's been carbon neutral since 2019. The chainsaw motors are made by Rolex. Yes. And the Rolex executives come and piss on the rainforest tribes former homes. And then

what happens is then the Rolex executives leave and then the Ventura executives walk in and they plant new trees. They come clean it up. They come clean it up. They pick up all the trash. They save all the animals. It's fucking incredible what they're doing over at Vincero.

The team at Vincero has hooked us up with a bunch of accessories and they're awesome. They're pretty nice. What we love most about the brand is their versatility with a collection for every look and colorway for every outtouch. What's so funny about that? Versatile. It says versatility. Jesus. Vincero makes it easy to elevate.

Versatility. Vincero. I said Vincero. Vincero makes it easy to elevate your style at a fair price 50 off applied on an entire order for limited time plus they cover all shipping costs go to v-i-n-c-e-r-o collective.com slash sun that is promo code sun v-i-n-c-e-r-o and once again we are still offering the same offer where if you guys buy a hundred watches we will come and personally deliver the 101st watch to your house or your

desired location no matter where you live in the continental united states and hawaii and you need to actually show us like the receipt you can't just put 100 in your cart you need to show us that you bought 100 watches and we'll come and deliver you a surprise 101 but but it won't be a surprise because we're telling you right now it won't be a surprise but when it happens we'll be a surprise and so just be ready just don't you know wear something nice every day until it happens exactly we will be dropping in on you like publishers clearing house and just with a big check just shocking you what'd you do all weekend my bro uh i i really didn't do much i had a very very laid-back weekend i was at i was at home took the train home the train's just gotten brutal though you're a train dude you're

a train rider well it's like the only way to get there it's the only way to get home unless i drive which i don't have a car you could take dave's heli true you could take the chopper that would be awesome if i just landed the heli in my front yard who is that your neighbors are all checking you out no yeah it was a good weekend though i just that's probably what people in new england think working for barstools like probably yeah oh yeah i guess new england's a big barstool area is it like that actually oh yeah viva we have a viva billboard in our high school yeah yeah shut the fuck up bro that's so fucking legendary but uh yeah good weekend i chilled i hung out with my family watched a lot of movies chilled with my dogs for a bit just posted up

that's the best bro recharge yeah feeling good get 14 hours of sleep a night like lebron gets yeah no i actually didn't i didn't get a lot of sleep but i got a lot of sleep the last two nights thank god i've been on a bad sleep streak uh you were trying to sleep without melatonin yeah still am probably gonna go back to it tonight though why um just because i probably won't it's it's it's just fucking awful You're predicting a bad night of sleep coming up? No, it's just like it makes me so drowsy in the mornings and it like ruins the whole beginning of my day. The melatonin does? So then why don't you just stop using it?

Because I can't fall asleep. Really? Yeah. No, I'll be fine. I'm going to work out aggressively after this. Why don't you just jerk off aggressively too? No, I'm going to work out super hard so that I'm falling asleep at like nine o'clock. Yeah.

Just start, yeah, cardio, walking places and shit like that yeah it's gonna be good it's gonna be good it's gonna be good it's gonna be good a lot of good shit coming it's gonna be good um yeah i watched a quiet place one and two not great really did you see them no i didn't they're not that great i told myself i was going to i also i might have fucked up it probably up. It probably, it's not that bad. It's not like a bad movie, but I went into it thinking it was a horror movie. Is it not? No, it's like a thriller and it's not scary at all. What the fuck's the difference? A thriller's like more of like a story

and stuff. A horror is just like a scary movie. And it just wasn't scary? No. A thriller's like a little bit scary, but a horror movie's supposed to be like really scary. This was not scary. Were you thrilled? No. It wasn't wasn't thrilling no because i was just waiting to be scared and they're just quiet the whole time yeah do they ever fucking yell in the second one there's a lot more talking than there is in the first one you know what threw me off when i first heard john krasinski getting interviewed afterwards and he's got a different speaking voice than jim from the

office does yeah i mean it's probably just like aging and stuff you think that's your speaking voice changes with age if you smoke a pack of cigs a day yeah are you accusing halpert of fucking smoking ciggies yep no way do you know something i don't brother are you doxing him as a smoker brother you never share a cigarette with a man until he he talks like he's like trying to to cover up his front teeth or something like that whenever he's Jim. Yeah, he's kind of a little bitch in the first movie, too. Facts, bro. He's not even in the second one.

Halpert, you're on notice. You just made the list, bro. You're a little bit of a bitch. Sass might come and steal your boo thing. I know. Emily Blunt? Straight up. Emily Blunt's in the second, or in the movie. of a bitch sass might come and steal your boo thing i know emily blunt right up emily blunt's in the second or in the movie i saw her and uh and him right on right on the same street as our

office one time about a block away from our office when was this some some 18 months ago unbelievable huh that would have been cool to see the people you fucking see in new york bro i haven't seen anyone in new york ever really any famous people i saw giamatti on like my first day when i first moved here i remember nick was like yeah i see famous people all the time like we saw we met the guy from always sunny uh i saw jonah hill just walking down the street the other day and i just see like people who are like on the verge of death constantly. And that's it. Are they famous looking? No. What if they're just has-beens?

Famous has-beens. True. That could be me in a couple years. That's going to be Vinnie Hacker in a couple years. Oh, yeah. They all do look like Vinnie Hacker. Chiseled, tatted. Yeah.

It's weird that like the cool look has to be like someone who's like boring death. Yeah. Super skinny like that. Because you can't acquire that. How come no one wants a plump guy like me? Someone who's clearly well fed. Takes care of himself.

That used to be the way even like the 1700s. I'm clean, bro. No tats. You're like edible. You're like if we had to eat somebody, you'd be the first one to go. Feeny Hacker would be the last. Yeah, because. Ink poisoning.

Yeah, his skin is inked up. Yeah. His body is emaciated. He doesn't have any nice fat on him. No, he's got no fat. You could make a brisket out of you. Oh, yeah. We could cut your back fat fucking...

Whole filet. Serve it up. Yeah, we could make a loin. We could make a tenderloin out of your inner thigh. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, man. Unfortunately, I don't make the rules. You're not going to be the one that fucking gets eaten i'm not bro this weekend i went to a uh like a fall fest i was on some fall

shit yeah like a corn maze oh that's fun pumpkin patch yeah that's gas we got we had a bonfire it was the geek we went in a corn maze and rode on like a death hearse or whatever. What's a death hearse? It's like a fucking monster truck that like a bunch of kids get on and they just whip around the corn field.

You're screaming. We were basically the only adults there. We were just fucking with the kids. Was that in New York? It was in Pennsylvania. It was like a- Oh, you were out in Pensy. Pensy, yeah. Penn State.

You already know, bro. How was that? It was fucking awesome. What were you doing out there? We were at this Fall Fest. I went just for this Fall Fest. Fuck yeah. It was fucking sweet.

But we were in the middle of this corn maze and like we just started hanging out there. And my friends are just a bunch of weirdos. And they were just like... Were the mics there? Yeah, there was like three mics there. The ones I know? Yeah. No, not those mics, but the two other ones.

Or no, one... I'm not sure if you met him. But the one whose house you went to, he was in there. But we went to the cornfield and we were just chanting. Like all these kids are just lost. Corn people, corn just lost corn people corn and kids were definitely getting horrified or like i was riding on this death hearse and i just started like screaming at the top of my lungs and so all the kids got even more scared

they started that's hilarious it was fucked up and massively immature but it's just like i got i'm getting my fall in. I'm going to have my pumpkin spice. I'm going to have my apple shit. I'm going to maximize it. I'm loving the weather. It's hot as fuck in this room. Even just walking around.

Yeah, walking around outside. It's like the perfect weather right now. Yes, I love this shit. I want to get outside, go to Central Park. Just some crisp ass air. I'm going to go to Central Park and just start raking. Community service. Have you ever done community service no god no giving back to the community is not my thing bro i've done some i've done some court mandated uh community service before and uh what'd you have to do pick up trash pick up trash like

what were you why'd you glad you get court mandated uh it was for like an underage or some shit like that yeah at some point murder basically underage murder like we got in the car with like it was like uh a white van with like it was like basically everyone else had to be like on parole or like convicts everybody was like really basically in like it was like a chain gang we were all like right but but it was just like such bullshit we just would go to like a random city block in like a park and like pick up people's like paper plates with like little forcep things that you use to grab trash like for fat people who like don't want to bend over and grab their cups out of their kitchen cabinet or whatever but uh they let us off early every day

it's just bullshit like or another time my community service i had to like clean up a firehouse or something like that a lot of community service i've had a decent amount of community service you're up to no good we gotta straighten you out well get me on a scared straight program or something like that last time you were when was last time you were locked up uh but it's a storm chasers thing but they threw that they threw that out because of uh covid and we weren't even really locked up they They just had us in a little situation. We were jammed up. We weren't locked up. So you've been behind the bars before?

It wasn't. I mean, I've been in a... I haven't been in like a... A holding cell? I've been in a holding cell. So I haven't been in like a... That's hilarious. A jail or a prison.

Yeah. I've been in a holding cell. I didn't think you had. I hope not. But I've had like one of my boys mike he's been he was thrown in he like like opened up the door of like a cop car or something like at penn state he was just like walking around uh drunk and he like opened up the door of the cop car and they came up to him and he like gave him a fake name and then they threw him and they like threw him in like

the actual jail like he had to go to like the actual jail for like a fuck around prank it's like the same level of the shit that i was doing but like he actually got thrown in jail with like a cellmate and like he like cried is it one of the mics that i know yeah which one uh one of them all right i don't know if he wants it out there that's it's good plausible deniability to have a bunch of a bunch of friends with the same name that's hilarious oh and have you ever been locked up no never been behind bars no yeah oh rowan has apparently multiple times it was like a bitch ass like lonely jail cell it's not like there was other people in there that i like worry about like i was like cold and looking across the cell at

them or you don't have to like deny if anything happened in the showers we weren't even thinking about that i didn't even say showers he's like no dude like you're not like it wasn't like what you think it is i'm trying to put mustard on my fucking jacket bro it was just me in there it wasn't like there's anyone else in there trying to have sex with me i didn't suck the ceo's dick or anything like that suck anyone off most of my shenanigans i was under 18 yeah me too so it would just be tickets and stuff yeah mine would usually just be like a couple punches to the face from the cop and then go home get out of here a cop uh put me on the roof of it he he like strangled me onto the roof of his car well i would love to know what you were doing that this

was this was like i was just like coming out of a bar, and there was a brawl that was happening. You got in? No, I was just near the middle of it. Yeah, you were in it. No, the cop must have seen me as the biggest bitch, the most manhandleable. And he, like Bart Simpson, choked me onto the roof of the car. And I just put my hands up right away. And fucking, he let me go

but uh it stopped the fight pretty quickly he just he choked the fuck out of me onto the roof of the car but like what am i gonna do hit a cop yeah you hit a cop going in exactly that's all that was echoing in my head a good well reached for his gun at least my friends had a gun phase too but that was like 23 your friends are probably coming up on their gun phase yeah i could see that we were gonna go shooting one time but we never did that's what i mean i want to shoot bad yeah see you're coming up on it i just want to feel that power you're coming up on it yeah you're gonna get a little bitch ass 22 start wearing it to start bringing it to the office it's in a holster we were just talking about my friends being in their gun phase this past weekend 22. Start wearing it to start bringing it to the office. It's in a holster.

We were just talking about my friends being in their gun phase this past weekend and like three of them all got guns at this one house in Maniunk in Philly. So they brought like burners? What do you mean? Or like burners? What is it? Scratchoffs or whatever? No, I think they bought legit guns. Yeah. They were like, they

probably had like a serial number on them or whatever, but they like brought me into like a room at a party and like locked the probably had like a serial number on them or whatever but they like brought me into like a room at a party and like locked the door to like show me their guns and like i knew two of the kids and the other one who i didn't know was like like i heard you rap he like cocked and he's like spit something oh no that's like horrifying i don't think i want and i didn't rap for him i was like i don't think i want to and I didn't rap for him. I was like, I don't think I want to. But he was like, you're making a mistake. Was he going to kill you?

No, because the other two dudes were like my friends. And they were strapped up too. I think he was just practicing intimidation. He was finding his legs with intimidation. I don't think I would do well being around a gun. Yeah, it's spooky as fuck. But there's a phase in your life where it'll just be fun. Another one of the kids who was my friend, he said one of the times when he freshly got his gun,

like he was showing it off and there was like a fly flying around him. And he like pulled out the gun. He was like, you believe the balls on this fly? He pulled the fucking gun up to the fly. I just remembered the story when they were bringing it up this weekend and I was dying. You believe the balls of this fly? So they had guns and they would just carry them around? It was like a phase in their life where they were riding motorcycles and having guns and spiking their hair up and shit like that.

I don't know if they were taking the gun on the motorcycle or they would have the gun at home and lock it away or something like that. motorcycle or like they would like have the gun at home and like lock it away or something like that but they were like locking their door and keeping i don't know if it was perfect gun safety because they were brandishing out of yeah had a fruit fly but you believe the balls on this fly speaking of safety yo bro you're the transition god today easy it's too easy how do you do it speaking of safety talk us through your process as like a comedian like how do you come up with a good segue look i'm gonna stop you right there there's big news from my favorite home security company you ever heard of simply safe i know you have they just launched their new wireless outdoor security camera that's right

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I would say I would take a bullet for the guys over at Simply Safe, but with the security that they're providing, I don't think I would need to. You never have to. No. You never fucking have to, my brother. You get up on stage at all recently? Yeah, I did last week. And? Fucking

crushed. Dude, I believe it, bro. Is that even a question? You might be the next him. You might be him. I think I'm next up to say the least. And there's no shame in saying it sometimes if you know you're good you're good yeah it's like jay-z calling himself the best rapper alive yeah i am the best kind of comedian alive you don't have to work on your craft no all these other suckers have to work on their craft see

that's something like like the way i like to put it for people is like so you know how beethoven he could just play and he could always just play right for me i could always just play beethoven was blind he's deaf and blind he wait he was deaf and he could play the piano yeah and he also had no limbs something doesn't add up he was like and frank out there but he could always just play. And I could, ever since I remember that first time I did stand-up two weeks ago, I could just play. What if there's like video that emerges of you as like an 18-month-old just holding a microphone in front of a brick wall? He just had it in him. He's like a young Tiger Woods. Yeah what yeah no it was a good it was a

good show i did i did a lot of new jokes and they were very fun and people liked them they're very well received and i wish i had footage from it i i should but there's some technical difficulties i guess with it so i don't know if i'm ever gonna get it that's fucked i don't really care like i it's probably good that i don't post anything because i if i ever want to reuse the jokes what if you post every stand-up comedy you ever do and you do something new every single time? Right? Like, that's what I'm thinking about. That would be legendary.

And also, it would just like— It would probably change the game. It would literally change the game because it would shit on all these comics who are like, Oh, I've been working on this act for a year and a half. It's like, dude, fucking come up with something new. Yeah. You lazy bastard. You're telling the same joke over and over and over and over again?

You're telling me you don't have an original thought? You don't have an original thought inside your entire head? Come on. You're dumb. You're dumb, motherfucker. Put pen to paper one time. Where's your work ethic at? Grind for me one time.

So I ask you this. Why do you choose to recycle when there's always another option to create? Oh, and where are we at right now? We're an hour and 10 minutes in. Because remember at the beginning of the episode, you said it was 303? I said it was 309, actually. Well, now it's 416. Actually, I think I said it was 306.

So it's about an hour and 10. So it's an hour 10 it makes sense so owen's telling the truth so owen's not lying which is new yeah finally dude is a liar yeah owen's the true liar of the bunch owen's the real fucking liar but you said that uh when you met shane gillis at the stand-up show he lied to you he lied oh he was fucking with you yeah he lied to you? He lied. Oh, he was fucking with you. Yeah. He lied to you hard? I was tweaking out big time. Shut up. Well, he was like... He said he was going to watch my set,

which is one thing I didn't want him to do. And that was the lie that he told? And then you looked out there? And then Harry walked over to me with a Coors Light and goes, I need something stronger. I need to bang some heroin in my veins, fucking stat. He said that there was tons of agents in the crowd. No way.

Yeah. Damn. And that spooked you? No, that didn't spook me at all. So what spooked you? That he was going to watch my set was what spooked me. Why? Because what if he doesn't think you're funny?

I just don't want the pressure of having to do it in front of someone who's funny. So you think everyone in your audience is not funny at all? Yeah, that's why they rely on me to make them laugh. If they were funny, they could just think of their own funny thoughts and they'd be laughing just sitting there. Exactly. It's a fact. It is. You ever seen Dave Chappelle at a comedy show?

Facts, bro. He's probably never seen comedy. No. I heard Frank Caliendo said the same thing. Yeah. Caliendo doesn't watch any comedy because he wants to come in fresh. And it's like, those are the two funniest dudes. I feel like watching comedy is a great way to get like, motivate yourself to do it.

Wow. Because you're like, this guy sucks. Yeah. Like, just like, yeah, you just take it right down one day, whatever they said on stage, and you go up and you say the same thing. It's like, oh, they're small. Have you ever heard about that Norm Macdonald thing that happened? No.

He was like at some small comedy club doing standup and there was like a bunch of openers who were doing like five minutes and apparently they did like multiple shows that night. And like on one of the shows, he just went up and did all their material. He was like, he was like, I want to go up first and just like warm up the crowd. And he goes up and he just does all of the openers material. I mean, that's funny i know that's a funny joke and then he got off stage and the opener was like that's literally like all i have because apparently they were like new to stand up and they like they only had like five minutes and they're like that was literally all of my material that's kind of genius yeah it's hilarious's hilarious. That would be insane if someone did that to you.

I want to do it to you. No. You won't even see my material coming. Yeah, is that out of left field? Oh, yeah. I'll just have to watch our YouTube one time. No, I don't do any of that material anymore. I'm going to memorize your YouTube.

I scratched all that shit. It's old. It's old stuff. I'm beyond that. My jokes are much more mature. Bro, you're like a young Gerard Carmichael. That's exactly what I like to think. Yeah much more mature right you're like a young gerard carmichael that's exactly that's yeah yeah that's what you're like i'm thinking myself like a of like a younger of any hack mini hacker you are kind of like a young boskiot yeah how boskiot came to new york

and that would make me andy warhol i think bro you're no andy warhol i'm andy warhol i ruined modern art true you know don't you know people you just you don't ruin it you just disrupt it you disrupt the game bro i am a disruptor yeah like my boy wallow bro wallow wallow's a disruptor don't put fucking mustard on my jacket don't put mustard on my jacket don't ever put mustard on my jacket dude what about this mustard color jackets so you can never tell when there's mustard on your jacket yeah that's not a bad idea we'll sleep on that should we wrap it up yeah let's wrap it the fuck up all right uh live shows there's no new tickets on sale are we gonna put out the live show uh yeah definitely on youtube i'll see how the audio is for a podcast we should try to put it

out as a podcast even if it's just a bonus episode there should be a way to like well we can talk about this after but there should be a way to like record our actual microphones and have it amplify out still right yeah we just have to hold our voice memos up to our faces like this and he can stitch it together and post yeah or we can all have two microphones

live show will be out on youtube and podcast platforms on friday it's on wednesday on wednesday also chicks in the office live show will be out on youtube and podcast platforms on friday it's on wednesday on wednesday also chicks in the office live show from philly on thursday we're not supposed to say that why isn't that like a surprise that we're going to that surprise surprise it's not like any of their fans are going to listen to this anyway we're good bro i think that uh i think that the boy dad sweatshirts sell best with women. They do. So we need to get a girl mom

sweatshirt for the men. That's... It would sell better. So that's coming soon. Mustard jacket's coming soon. Oh, we might have a sketch coming out tomorrow. Fact. Sketch coming out. We shot a sketch. It was fun to do. I haven't seen it. I'll see if it's... Well, maybe it'll come out tomorrow

if it's not bad. Yeah, if it sucks, then this will just be a fig leaf of your imagination. A fun little teaser. Yeah. You can just try and come up with one yourself and then send us the idea.

If you're so funny. There is no anything like that. But Vinnie Hacker does just come on. Vinnie Hacker did direct it, so it was a little edgy. He came in like Tarantino. He was a little more...

He was like, damn, why do all our scripts have the N-word in them? Yeah. He was a little edgy he came in like tarantino he was a little a little why do all our scripts have the n-word in it yeah he was a little more out of our comfort zone but you got to respect that he's an artist though like we don't we don't know with our fat lumpy asses no we don't fucking know which which way is up hacker does though hacker does all right thank you guys for listening uh make sure you like subscribe subscribe, comment, unsubscribe on podcasts, then resubscribe and give us five stars. Yeah. I was going to say something else too. Oh yeah. Shout out to

Owen. Shout out to Jake. Shout out to Tyler. Yeah, we'll cut that. All right. Thanks guys.