Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 24 - This Time Actually With DAVE PORTNOY

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

-- (0:00-30:20) Interview with Dave: his thoughts on the podcast, numbies, tiktok, SNL, getting arrested at the super bowl, & his plans for a stand-up special -- (30:20-1:26:44) Sas & Rone discuss parenting methods, Rone's trip to DC, conspiracy theories, thrifting, Sas' body re-comp, plans for more live shows, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, our plans to monetize war, & much more -- Tickets for our show at Laugh Boston on 11/3 will be on sale this week, new merch coming soon as well!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Got you, got you. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Monday, October 18th. It is 2.09 p.m.

A little early. A little early. Early record today. We have a special guest today dave portnoy what's up guys how's it going good what's going on not too much great to have you in here great to be here we're excited i think we're nervous though why uh we just don't know how it's we don't know how it's going to go and also you've never talked to sass before very very little very little he's stuck the dildo on the window that's the extent of the conversation what did he do we uh there was

a giant dildo on the window in the office and we had like people you know because this is an office and i think erica was showing like clients around and there was just a huge dildo on the window so i was not happy about that i was like who put the dildo on the window. So I was not happy about that. I was like, who put the dildo on the window? And it was little sass. It was me. I don't know that you admitted it right off the bat. No, they were asking everyone who did it. And then eventually it came around to me and I said I did it.

You're just hiding at your desk. Yeah. I mean, that's out of character for you. It was when it was one of my like first months. It was very early. Yeah. And have you carried that as kind of your opinion of him? Like a dildo window guy not at all i mean i it didn't shock me i guess that it was him but no i i mean

i haven't we haven't talked much so no i haven't carried that around so you have uh like what is your opinion of your of little sass like what uh what do you what do you see of him what do you know of him well i know he's uh popular oh and and you, like, for a minute were on BFF. Like, when we started, we didn't really know, like, what we were doing in terms of that show. And I knew nothing about TikTok at all. And Little Sass is described to me as, like, the TikTok guy. So it's like, all right, help out on this show. We had him, Tommy in there, landed on Brianna eventually.

But yeah, no, I know he's popular. Tough though. Tough to get cycled through and miss out on a rocket ship like that. Also, it was like Tommy was in it and he wouldn't be quiet. He was talking too much. Tommy was.

Tommy was. And Tommy's not really a TikTok guy either. So it just didn't work. But yeah, no. It's probably for the best. I know Little Sass has those little vignettes that I don't totally always understand. People say he doesn't miss. But most of the stuff he does is go viral.

So I'm aware at that level. Yeah, you're aware of the Numbies. Numbies, yeah. And you thought you invented Numbies. Yeah, I did. But you didn't because Rowan told me he did the back research. It was Dax Shepard. Dax was the first big name to do it.

Dax tweeted it in like 2011. Got it. And then I was the first at Barstool to tweet it. Yeah, I'd never heard it until it was the comments of, because when I do TikToks with Silvana, they always do Nbies like big numbies right yes it's fun to say right no i and so i started saying because people were busting my balls for being like whipped a loser whatever whenever i do anything but the facts are for

whatever reason i think i'm kind of shadow banned a little on my own TikTok as well as all social media. But when she asked me to do TikTok, it's guaranteed millions. Really? Guaranteed. Clockwork. She just has the eye for it? She doesn't have a ton of followers either. Do you think people just want to see what's going on in your relationship? No, I don't know really how TikTok works,

like what happens that gets it into whatever cycle, algorithm, whatever it is. But because she has, I think now, close to like a little over like 100,000 followers on TikTok. To have 100,000 followers is consistently millions when it's the two of us. And when we're out, people will come up to her and be like, oh, I like your TikTok. So I don't know what it is. It's the numbies, though. The numbies what do you think that uh what do you think of tiktok as like uh a platform like do you spend time on tiktok do you get sucked into it no no i'm never on tiktok have you ever like scrolled occasionally but not much like i've actually

started paying a little more attention because of as crazy as it sounds but sylvana is like finding clips that are viral in nature i guess and that's what she's using for her and i so that's definitely like an advantage to go viral i think so i have as i huh she's doing something that I wasn't. So I paid a little, but no, it really like. You just put something up and you don't get sucked into it. Because like Sass is good at TikTok, undeniably, but also doesn't like TikTok. I don't use TikTok at all. And I guess TikTok, it means different things to different people because there are very like funny things on there just like anything else and then you have like what the world i'm in you know like the josh richards and

the old sway and kind of that can have a negative or i guess positive connotation um i just think it's a lot bigger than probably people give it credit for because i do think there's very funny people on there yeah not just like wiggle dickers and shit and the algorithm is so powerful that it's that it's like it's like almost a credit to you that you don't get sucked in because like it will just start pumping shit that you love and you just can't stop like. I haven't gone. I don't follow a lot of people. I don't use it a lot. So, yeah, no, I haven't really been sucked into going through. I don't do that with any social media, really.

Not even like Twitter? No. Twitter I'll go. Yeah, Twitter is what I'll use the most to communicate with people who like me, and I feel like that's the most natural given back and forth. I usually kind of stay up on the times to see what people are saying to me or whatever. And what do you know about this podcast? Very little.

Yeah? But you let it happen. Yeah, and I've heard it's grown. I know everything. I don't. A very common trait of mine probably is if I think things are going well or you don't hear much from me or about me. So I'm told that this is growing and just kind of leave it alone. Yeah.

I mean, you guys are an odd mix, I guess. Yeah. Best friends. Yeah, best friends for life. We travel everywhere. I'm trying to give him a... I just saw like Sass like... What do you guys talk about?

Not really. We don't really have anything specific. We just talk for an hour. Yeah. Try and make it as funny as we can. I mean, I know that you're not like a huge preparation guy. I am not. So we kind of just go in here and let it rip.

Talk about what we've seen this week and just try and crack some jokes. Got it. But I also saw Sass had been here for almost a year. And he's obviously funny. So it's like, why not create some structure where he could just be funny once a week or whatever? Yeah. Right. Again, some of the stuff I've seen I get,

some I totally don't get. Yeah. Do you care about the direction of it? Or not care, but do you want anything out of Son of a Boy Dad or of Sass or anything like that? How could Sass become super successful at Barstool? I mean, how old are you? 20.

Yeah, super young. I mean, any time basically, I think a lot of what we do here is let people do whatever they want hopefully they grow and it it helps both because people know barstool as someone gets bigger and you know they get bigger hopefully barstool is helping leverage their platform and then from the monetization side it's always you need something repeat like you need something which with like just blowing up singly on like tiktok how do you how does that turn into like barstool monetization or something like that it really doesn't it's really hard most of the things that you look where it's like truly beneficial whether it's like a pmt um you know

old caller daddy a podcast like this works for that but you need something regular that you can include ads in that's or merch i guess yeah we definitely brianna is a fucking monster with merch yeah she just crushes the market yeah she's off doing that tour and so it it it's that combo it's like how to grow and then help monetize. And really, it's no different. I've told this story a million times. But then at the end of the contract, it's like, all right, my brand's way ahead of where it was before we got here. And either you continue or you don't.

But most people end up continuing unless you get, like, fucking gaga money like, you know, call her daddy. Yeah, Cooper, are you expecting us to, like, fill her shoes? Or do you think that... No. Her shoes cannot be filled. We're working on it. We're going to get there eventually. Yeah, we're on it.

We're running our ass. How close do you guys pay attention to the numbers? Oh, I'm addicted to them. Yeah? How many TikTok... Like, TikTok's still your main platform? No, no.

TikTok's never been. It's always been Twitter. Really? Yeah. How many Twitter followers do you have? I have two accounts. One of them has like 430,000 and then one of them has 140,000. What are the two accounts?

One of them is just like I just post videos and jokes. They're both you? They're both me, yeah. Got it. And then one of them is like an alt account. I didn't know Twitter was always your... Yeah. What do you want TikTok?

TikTok, I have like 200,000 followers. I don't really post on TikTok though. Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. See, I thought your format,000 followers. I don't really post on TikTok, though. Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, see, I thought your format was TikTok. I've always been doing videos, but I just have always done them on Twitter. And your YouTube videos do well, right?

Oh, yeah. They do all right. Yeah, yeah. I have some that blew up. Yeah, it doesn't make sense that he doesn't love TikTok because it's like you're making that type of video. It does seem like that type of video. And the age range. Yeah, right.

Yeah, I don't know. I just hate TikTok. You got to just get over it. Yeah, I really don't like it. You got to just crank out the content. You don't even have to dump all your energy into it. But when you say you hate TikTok, weren't, like, if I recall, wasn't, like, your early stuff before you were here,

like, kind of making fun of us? Yeah. Right. Well, I mean, it wasn't, like, my whole brand. No, no, but, like, a lot. Right. So I'm just saying with the TikTok, it's, like my whole brand but no no but like a lot right so that i'm just saying with the tiktok it's like even if you could i was on tiktok for a while but then it just became like a complete like time suck and then it would be like i'd just be like getting angry at comments and stuff and it just wasn't worth it you get angry at comments he just reads all

the comments not even my comments i'd be getting angry at other people's comments really on other videos yeah that's crazy yeah the comments The comments on TikTok are really brutal. But so young. Yeah. But they're like stupid. But they also shouldn't hold that much weight to you, I feel like. It's like, it's a 14-year-old commenting. Well, it's hard to see someone that's like shockingly stupid and then not have an opinion.

See, I think that's actually why I'm shadowbending there because they're very literal is what I found. Like, they don't like everything's very serious they don't get the joke so yeah i think i've been probably flagged for bullying a lot yeah that also happened like we our son of a boy dad uh tiktok got banned for a while and now my tiktok was banned for a while too yeah for like a don't like shit like i don't even know what i like it's a little bit raunchy but it's just stuff we're like talking about you i can't even like swear really on tikt, or else you'll get banned. That's why I have almost no user growth or spread, I think, on basically all social media,

which is frustrating. Who helps you with those? Who's cranking those out? Is it a couple people? What do you mean? Who's putting TikToks up on your account? So I don't have... Most of them end up in clips from BFFs, which don't really perform that great.

Old things tend to do pretty well. Like if you just cut up a pizza review and do it. But I don't. It's Austin. Like I rarely. Austin's a workhorse. I made one the other day that I thought would go. It shows you why I know it was because it was using like an old trend.

Like people live rent free in your house. Like that's something that's on um tiktok and i had both of sylvana's dogs and sylvana in it i'm like oh this is gold this is like this seems like something that will go didn't go at all like i to the point i posted it twice i was like it's the algorithm i'm getting like shadow band so i'm gonna post it again. Did nothing again. Yeah, it's fucking weird. You can never tell what's going to hit, what's not going to hit. No, it is very odd.

You're going viral on TikTok every day. Yeah, I do well on TikTok. Really? Just cranking out, just whatever. But it's like battle rap clips will fucking do stupid numbers. Or old clips from outside of the Trump rally or whatever. Those generally do very well. Some political shit.

Not even political, but man on the street. I've noticed, because I used to do a lot of that, that those cut up will do very well. Yeah, I'm getting back in the man on the street game. I feel like it's kind of a backbone thing of Barstool, doing man on the street. Those always do well. If you hit it right and get the right event, it's guaranteed numbers. Or just guaranteed numbers. We were trying to add on numbers, it's guaranteed numbies. Or just like guaranteed numbies. We were trying to add on like numbers, like brr's,

like we're trying to get something new, but we're workshopping it. I mean, you could steal it if you want. I don't mind. I like numbies. I like guaranteed numbies. Numbies is great. Somebody, the guy who makes all the signs, Zach Riddle gave me one the other day, guaranteed numbies.

I mean, that's a great sign, kit does ask it like one percent of the well you're saying it was invented before like him yeah it was dax shepherd is that loosely loosely no one was saying it but you were bouncing around numbies you were also singies though you just add ie on the thing might be the singy for the summer oh another calling card another calling card of sass um i have a question where do you see uh barstool being when sass is 25 years old he's 20 years old now where where's where's barstool where's sass in five years well barstool i never know i never answer that question and i get asked it all the time from like a question like that to you know investors to whatever it may be and the

truth of matter i won't answer it because i didn't know tiktok was going to be around like a year ago and before that i didn't know like the technology changes so fucking fast that it's impossible to know where you're going to be i mean we were a blogging company we're a newspaper that moved to a blogging company that moved you know social media and so who knows i think that's one of our advantages we move quick and i think it's a credit that we've been kind of cool and edgy for almost two decades because we move fast where he will be sass oh i don't really know enough i mean i saw you doing like stand-up yeah we're doing live shows now how'd that go stand-up's fun but uh we got a we did a live show we did two live shows last week

they were good the live shows are really good and we're doing one in boston yeah in a live shirt so those questions it's not it's not me i never know like i mean i think a lot of it just depends on what the person wants to do you can kind of do anything here right yeah yeah what do you think about uh like stand-up as a viable uh like does stand-up bother you like as far as it being something different than barstool do you know what i mean no i mean it it gets no from the business side there's always i is francis used to want to do stand-up and the deal we cut with him when he was here it's like if you do shows like under maybe a thousand people like if you do shows like under

maybe a thousand people like do knock yourself out like we're not gonna do that but you start doing bigger shows because a lot of times they are combining like barstool and the talent and it's like well we're not just here promoting individual we need something for building the brand but no it to me that's a fine i mean i'm not a huge stand-up guy but whatever do you have any stand-ups that you really like? Are there any guys that you've looked at? You have to be the best of the best for me. I like Chris Rock.

I think he is one of the best to ever do it. But if you're not to that level, like I've been in the comedy clubs and just go, and I don't find people overly funny in that environment. Really? Has there ever been someone who everybody loves and you're just like, nah, I don't see it? Or you don't want to throw somebody in that environment. You just go, has there ever been someone who like everybody loves and you're just like, nah,

I don't see it. Or you don't want to throw somebody's name under the bus. I don't watch a ton of it. I'm trying to, you ever go to stand up like shows in New York? Yeah,

but not for a while. Remember we talked about trying to scout them at a time. Yeah. For me, my thing, which is like

schtick by, it was brick by brick, not shtick by shtick. I don't like planned comedy. I never do. I like much more conversational, dry, witty. But that doesn't mean... That's just my cup of tea. Right, it's different for different people.

It doesn't mean there's not a market for it, yeah. What about... Do you see the shit with Chappelle's... Yeah, he got in trouble right or not trouble whatever but i mean it stand up is supposed to be stand up i always say that with us i feel like when a lot of the people who don't care for barstool it it's like they went to a comedy show they didn't buy a ticket for they don't know who the comedian is then they go out in the street and they're like you'll never believe what this guy said and they don't give no

like frame of reference that it was a comedy show. Obviously, you can cross lines and it's no different than I think most people can tell, I think normal, when you're trying to be hateful. If you're trying to be hateful, that's too far. If you're trying to make people feel bad, that's not good.

If you're just trying to make people laugh, I don't think there should be many things off limits. Ch chappelle parts of it yeah i thought yeah i i've never been like a gigantic chappelle fan either yeah yeah i mean i i just in my opinion it's like how many times can you do the same rant about like getting canceled yeah and he's not getting canceled until it's just not funny yeah and he can't like i mean he's not gonna get canceled yeah that's interesting what about uh like sketch comedy are you into that world at all do you until it's just not funny. And he can't, like, I mean. He's not going to get canceled, yeah. That's interesting.

What about, like, sketch comedy? Are you into that world at all? Do you ever see any sketches that you're like, oh, that's really funny? Yeah, there definitely can be. I mean, I used to watch SNL all the time. Still, I think my favorite thing I've done in New York since I've been here is, like, seen it live because I used to watch it all the time.

But it's, like, there's far more cringe than there is, like, hitting it. Yeah, definitely. When did you see it live because i used to watch all the time but it's like there's far more cringe than there is like yeah hitting it yeah definitely when when did you see it live it was um the host was julie julia louis dreyfus and musical guest was um uh nick jonas so it was probably like three and a half years ago super hard to get tickets for that yeah i've heard you have to like camp out in front of yeah so we were giving them i don't know if they like or don't like because I have asked for them before and never got them, but it was just, I used to always watch it, so it was really fucking cool to see the whole way they did it and how fast they-

So we went to the early show. There's, I think, eight and then the live. So the eight, they test on the crowd. They use jokes. There's an early show of Saturday Night Live? Yeah, I think, eight and then the live. So the eight, they test on the crowd. They use jokes. There's an early show of Saturday Night Live? I did not. I never did that. Yeah, so they test jokes and they see how the crowd reacts to it.

No way. They are so strict with cameras, everything. Like if you bring anything out, they basically beat you with a club because they don't want to give away the show. Yeah. So they test everything that works. It's a little different. And then I actually went home and watched it when it went live. And you can see where they altered it based on crowd noise or reaction.

Seems like, what is the crowd? Is everyone just dying laughing the whole time? There's a lot of laughing. Yeah. They're giving you the benefit of the doubt on a laugh. Yeah, yeah. If it may be funny, they'll go. Is there like an applause or like a laughter sign?

I know at Jimmy Fallon, they'll just throw up a laugh sign. I can't remember, but I don't think there is. You know the shit that I've been watching? My dad and I got into this. He was hilarious when he was on The Daily Show. Who's the guy? Stewart or Colbert? Colbert, I think, is awful.

Oh, he sucks now. He did the needles. He did the backseat one. Yeah, it was painfully bad. But I thought he was hilarious on Daily Show. Yeah, it's like that character that he was playing

was like a better representation of what he's trying to like joke about than just him being like honest about everything that he's trying to do. I think Jon Stewart's brilliant. Yeah, oh, he's incredible.

And when the Daily Show was like awesome, it was like the best comedy there was. Very, very smart. We saw him live, Seth. Stewart. Oh the best comedy ever. Very, very smart. Stuart? Oh, yeah, yeah.

We saw him live. Was it good? Yeah, we went to the Madison Square Garden 9-11 Memorial Show, and it was basically like every famous comedian there is. That was my plan, not to do a 9-11 show, but I was going to do one night stand-up at Madison Square Garden. I thought I could sell it out. It was just going to be an evening stand-up at Madison Square Garden.

I thought I could sell it out. It was just going to be an evening of hate with Dave Portnoy. It was going to be unfiltered on everybody I hate who I've kind of had to bite my tongue for the last because of sponsors and just have a list and just go. What's stopping you? Is that not still the plan? Yeah, let's get the hate out.

We wouldn't get Madison Square Garden. Dolan will never rent it to us. We found out. What about Barclays, let's get the hate out. We wouldn't get Madison Square Garden. Dolan will never rent it to us. We found out. What about Barclays? Let's go Barclays. Dave, my one and only show will not be in Brooklyn. So maybe back when I started Boston. So we'll do half that, and then the second half would be a roast of me,

was what the thought would be with our guys. Yeah, that'd be incredible. I'd be done. It'll be like a retirement. Wait, so the booker at Madison Square Garden won't let you do it? Jim Dolan hates us. Really? With a capital H.

Because we sold fire Jim Dolan shirts years ago because the Knicks guys hate him, and he's held a grudge. He's also a dickhead. He's notorious. He's like a band. He's like a billionaire, and he just has a cover band and wears a fedora and just plays original music. He really has. Barstool's gotten bigger. I've run in some of the similar circles, so maybe I'll meet him and get past it. But he also sent the letter to the New York Rangers being like, none of you guys are allowed to do anything with us.

We're friends with a bunch of them, so they just showed us the letter like, look at this. That's crazy. But that was my plan. Madison Square Garden, one night. Let's fucking do it. Yeah. Literally. But I'm in this longer

than i thought at the time i was getting ready for this so i i know i'll burn it like it'll be pretty vicious i want no like i want nothing no cameras oh no there'll be camera but like i'll never have to worry about an ad or anything the rest of my life are you gonna take people's phones we had to put our phone no you can do it i'm fine with people knowing what i say i just don't ever want to have to then be like oh we lost like 500 sponsors so it's gonna be like everybody left right do you have like do you know what you would say do you have people or i won't even complain i'm so vindictive and like you just put the list and I write the list and I know exactly why I hated all these people. And there's a lot of things I haven't been able to say for a long time.

So, yeah, it would be. And with everybody like, you know, you wouldn't have to like refresh notes on anybody like you just have. You just have hate brain. You have like a vindictive streak in there. Yes. That's fucking. So you think you could go out for a time? Madison Square Garden would be fine.

Yes. You wouldn't be like nervous at all. Not not in this of Madison Square Garden and be fine? Yes. You wouldn't be nervous at all? Not in this subject matter because I'm so comfortable with it. It's just truth. It's not like I'm working new material like, will they laugh? It's not that. They may not laugh, but they're going to be like, oh, yeah, I see why he fucking hates that person. And when the intent isn't to laugh, too, it's almost like freeing.

It's just like, I'm just hate. I don't even care if you laugh. I'm burdening myself with these feelings that I have for these fucking people. Yes, correct. When you went to SNL, was there any sense of you, and Tico's definitely next door right now. You smell that weed through the walls. But when you went to SNL, like, if I watch 60 Minutes, like, part of my brain is always like, okay, how could I, like, do something like this something like this or parody the way that they shoot this or talk about it or use what I'm watching for a concussion protocol or a video that I'm doing or something like that. When you watch SNL, was there a competition part of your brain where you're like, oh, they're doing something.

How is this different from what we're doing? Or are you just kind of abandoning it? No, because they're so – Do you see it as a competition or a rival? No, because – no, I don't see SNL that way. They've been around for so long, so I don't view it. And I've never – that's not – I don't think I'm good at what they do at all. Like I'm not good at scripts and acting or anything like that.

It's just not my bag. But, no, I don't view them as a rival. It's tough when they've been around for like the 70s you know i've when i was asked like where would i see barstool like i did want to be kind of a modern snl in which like you know every stand-up at some point probably is like my dreams to be on that cast because we get on that cast you're good you're like you're a made man basically you're done so you know i view that like we're a breeding ground for funny young people

that we can hopefully launch careers so I see it that way but I don't view them as direct competition for like internet funnies or anything like that no

like it's I see that as like a natural progression and also like WWE it's like there's this whole like a show where everybody who's good should want to come through a certain place or whatever

but there's not a lot of other institutions that really have that same catch up. Yeah I don't know that there's anybody quite like us. There's obviously you know like Nelk has blown up and I did see them like say we wanted a funny girl

but they're really one or two people I would say. They're Kyle and Steve will do it, in my mind. That's what they are. So I don't know. I don't know where somebody young like... And it's a very different age because you can do it on your own, a lot of people. Once you get fucking gigantic on a social media platform, it changes the game a little bit.

Yeah, for sure. Any questions, Sass? No, not really. What are you going to ask when you get hired at Barstool? Who? No, I'm just kidding. What do you mean? He doesn't know the back?

Yeah, yeah. He was going to ask you when you got hired over here at Barstool, but he got too scared to make the joke. I you were gonna open with that but we were gonna play like real yeah he was supposed to yeah i decided to steer clear yeah why not well what i think i saw through that yeah i think maybe but as a clip it could have done numbies i mean as a standalone that's what i'm saying like we're just trying toumbies. This game is, yeah, that's, please, I'll do anything where Numbies always have. That's the misnomer of, like, the things on TikTok, like, when they're like, Dave, you're embarrassing. It's like, what are you, like, did you just start following Barstool?

I've done basically everything at some point. Bieber tattoos. What's that? Bieber tattoos. Bieber tattoos, yep, that I had. I got those hennyed on and then I on vacation like a week later with a full like Bieber every tattoo he had on his body. Do you feel embarrassed?

Like what's something that like embarrasses you or have you ever like what's something that's gotten to you where you're like oh like fuck that. I don't like when people call me fucking Zuckerberg. Really? That's about it. A pizza guy legitimately thought I was Zuckerberg just last week. I was like you motherfucker. Just beat the shit out of him.

Yeah. It was weird because he's like, you're Mark. I'm like, no, I'm Dave. And we're in Knoxville, so tons of people are coming up for pictures. So he thought I was lying. He kept saying, he's like, you must be him. It's like, no. Embarrassed.

It's tough because he is mega rich and powerful but also gross yeah he's ugly he's the worst comparison and you and you you put some you know

you care about how you look it's like he doesn't even care about how he looks it's disgusting with that white paste on his face yeah the surfing picture yeah

it's tough it's embarrassing no really I mean we've done crazy crazy stuff I just kind of like and we don't do as much of it but whether it be man on the street or whatever like public stuff i was just kind of going on mine it's like just do it just like just yeah whether it's uncomfortable yeah it's like

you're doing it you know why you're doing it just do it what about like when you get like arrested like is there ever uh part of because like we got arrested for the storm chaser shit now like it i knew consciously that it's like okay this is good but in the back of my mind there's like a small part that's like oh wait i'm getting like getting in trouble or something like that was there any part of you when you're like getting dragged out of places that's like no i mean as weird that was so the super bowl the protests at good nfl headquarters i don't know why i didn't think we were actually going to get arrested so that it didn't cross my As weird as the Super Bowl, the protests at NFL headquarters, I don't know why I didn't think we were actually going to get arrested. So that didn't cross my mind.

And then when I got dragged out of the Super Bowl, I didn't know that was coming. That I knew was good. It was like when it comes, they're really going to make this a scene now? Yeah, that was hilarious. Yeah, so, I mean, obviously the fact that I went limp, I knew it was coming. I said it earlier in the week.

I'm like, if they give me another chance, because I did not go limp. You were saying that all week. I'm like, I should have gone limp. I should have gone limp. I can't believe I let them walk me out. It's like, why didn't I just fall down and make a scene? I'm like, if they give me that chance again, it's happening. And lo and behold, they gave me the chance,

so I was ready for it. But no, there's nothing. If Sass wants a job for life, though, go limp. again it's happening and lo and behold they gave me the chance so i was ready for it uh but no there's nothing if sass wants a job for life though go limp yeah let him get dragged out of somewhere yeah yeah they they played into my hands no i'm trying to think there isn't too much i mean i'm trying to think of people maybe i've met that i've trashed and then you meet them down the road and it's like oh this is gonna be a little bit a little uncomfortable i try i generally cut that i'm like i've trashed you let's just get that out there so if you don't like me that's fine but like we all know i said it uh but no i can't really think it too much that's that's like a blessing uh that's like a blessed mindset to not be uncomfortable

about shit i feel like that just opens you up to so much more content like you could just do so much more if you're just like not going to be in the comments or just like reading it and just like self-critical of yourself yeah no i'm pretty comfortable in my own skin are you in the comments no never no rarely like i i respond twitter yeah um but no not not too much even i mean the comments thing has been like we used to have the actual comments that i had problems with yeah on blogs when way back when and occasionally we would be in there but they became so vile and toxic and i don't mean vile talk like i don't care if they criticize but like racist and for whatever reason with us it's like people would say oh look at their comments or

that's them it's like what are you talking about everybody has this problem but we would be like the racist Olympics people are like trying to out racist each other or whatever they're like trying to top each other but no I'm not really in

I mean it's always negative yeah it is always fucking negative and even if you find something positive it's not gonna like scratch that itch

it's not gonna be like oh I feel better because someone's like you're the fucking goat you're just looking for something mean usually I mean I've been told

now for about 10 years that every decision I make is wrong I'm dumb and it's like well something's going right here it's like we built

this huge fucking media company so I'll trust what we're doing rather over fucking Joe Blow in the comments section facts

trust the numbies. Good shit. Dude, thank you for coming in. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for the time today. Appreciate it. Appreciate you. Hell yes.

Are we just going to continue? Yeah, let's just ride out. All right. What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that guy's problem? Was he trying to fuck me? Dude, I think he was trying to fuck you. I was getting that vibe the whole time.

Bro, are you trying? I was like, bro, if you're going to jump over here, just get it over with. Trying to give me a jump. Damn. Yeah, that went good. I don't know. It was just like asking questions. I almost feel like it was like a getting to know you type of conversation.

Yeah. I mean. You know, Rogan says it takes over an hour to get to know somebody for real. Yeah. So last night before I went to bed, I was thinking about it. And I was coming up with all these funny scenarios in my head and joke ideas and stuff. But I'm like, if I tried to do that, then it would have been a complete disaster. Because he'd just be like, what is that?

Yeah. Also, I don't think he was looking for us to be like joking. No, not at all. No. Yeah, it was, I think, I learned some things. It went basically exactly how I thought it would go. Heard some stories. The SNL thing was interesting.

Yeah, for sure. Did you tell him that you're trying to get hired? No, I didn't. Yeah. I remember that. I remember you not telling him that you were trying to jump over to SNL. Yeah. They're poaching me.

Lauren's blowing up your line at all times. Stop emailing me, Lauren. That's a FaceTime guy. I don't even fucking check email. Fucking Lauren. Damn. The boss man. The boss man.

But if you came for Dave You should stay for the You should stay for the rest of the pod Yeah It's gonna be a fucking It's gonna be a heater of an episode Yeah We got all kinds of fucking

We got all kinds of shit Starting with Starting with Ooh actually I had a I had Or what do you want to start with Cause I had something funny Is Ruth Bader Ginsburg a fucking bitch

What why Okay we can start with yours We'll start with I had something funny. Is Ruth Bader Ginsburg a fucking bitch? What? Why? Okay, we can start with yours. We'll start with yours. All right, wait. I looked at this. I saw this tweet on my timeline.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm ready for it. From Liz Mayer. M-A-I-R. So no relation to... John Mayer. But maybe to... Bill Mayer? Yeah, Bill Mayer.

No. Bill Mayer is hilarious. Bill Maher? Bill Mayer? Yeah, Bill Mayer. No. Bill Mayer's hilarious. Bill Maher? Bill Mayer? I don't know. All right. I have resorted to burning Pokemon cards as a punishment for when my kid doesn't do basic stuff he has to do.

That's the first tweet. The second one, it gets so much worse. That's already so fucked up. So already you're like, damn. That's pretty crazy. I've resorted to starving my child, but they don't do it. Oh, no, it ties into that. Does it really?

Ready? So when you think of the basic stuff, what do you think of? Like he doesn't clean his room. Yeah, or yeah, yeah, doesn't, I don't know, maybe he's cursing a little bit. Maybe he's cussing, he's not doing his homework. Yeah, he's disrespectful. Just typical children things. Yeah, being a half-formed brain who's trying to learn which way is up in the world.

All right, so here's the second one. This is the reply. The basic stuff is eating. He comes home without having eaten any of his lunch. Card burnt. He doesn't eat enough dinner? Card burnt. That's a Bulbasaur, son.

Doesn't eat enough dinner? Card burnt. That's a Bulbasaur, son. Bear in mind, my kid is about 4'6", at age 7, and yet weighs less than 55 pounds. He needs to put on some weight, specifically muscle. What the fuck? Yeah, that's the whole tweet. That can't be real.

No, it is. There's no fucking way that's real. It is. First off, how many Pokemon cards does the kid have? Dude, like, that's crazy. Because that's a deep, massive collection. Also, I can't think of a better way for you to make your kid hate you for the rest of your life. Yeah, that's what someone was saying in the replies. I was reading the replies all day.

You? Reading the replies? It's just, yeah, it doesn't, that's, I feel like that's a bad way to parent. I don't know exactly, I think everyone thinks that they're going to be a good parent, but that's about bad way to parent I don't know exactly I think everyone thinks That they're gonna be a good parent But That's about as bad as it gets What was that one story

About the guy The dad who was like The bean dad Or something like that He like Yeah I forget what that was His kid just wanted to eat Like a can of beans

Or something like that His kid was like a hobo And just like wanted to crack A fucking quick can Or something Riding the rails And they wouldn't He like Taught her a lesson in bean cans or some shit like that? Something like that.

I forget what it is. It's so weird when people go to Twitter to brag about abusing their kids. This person says, You'll never guess who I just beat the shit out of. My son! Whether you mean to or not, there's an anxiety about his body you're signaling to him. Obviously better to let him be underweight and skinny to do the activities he wants to do.

Give me a break. Dude also some of that shit's genetic. You can't burn the Pokemon. You can't burn cards to burn calories. No one gives a fuck about Pokemon cards anymore. He's probably acting like he likes the Pokemon cards. Oh, no. Yeah, don't burn my Pokemon cards.

Just goes and makes himself throw up again. Then he's just playing his fucking PlayStation 5. Yeah. Watching porn on his laptop. Oh, no, Mom. Not my Pokemon cards. Maybe she's just a shitty cook. I wonder if she's ever thought about that

Yeah maybe fucking He's buying lunch everyday Try burning the steak Instead of the Pokemon cards You fucking under cooking bitch Is 55 pounds at 7 years old Very underweight Probably

Sounds it I don't know For 4'6 4'6 yeah I guess that's true I don't know is that tall Is that short Although I might have made it up I thought I was 4'7 47 pounds

at one point in my life. That would have been goaded I mean that would have been a fucking score agami. Burning the cards is just so crazy and to think that she should tweet about it and like that's a good idea Yeah or like she was just gonna get some fucking points off of that that people were just gonna be like yes bitch

I mean it's the equivalent of her son being like I have depression and her burning his Pokemon cards. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going through serious issues in my life. Yeah. And she just takes a baseball bat. Well, there goes the card burnt. Sorry, son.

Yeah, you lost meal privileges. For every tear you shed, a card will be burnt. Every time he doesn't eat, she doesn't let him eat. What did you get into this weekend? A self-fulfilling prophecy. I went down to D.C. Yeah. Fucking.

Went to a concert? Went to another concert, yeah. Went to Mark Rubbier. You know Mark Rubbier? Mm-hmm. He's the dude who, you know who I'm talking about, Sass? Of course, bro. He's always popping his top on.

Mark Rubby? Please. Bro, you don't fucking know course, bro. He's always popping his top on. Mark Rubby? Please. Bro, you don't fucking know him, bro. I love Rubby. He's always dancing, talking about fucking flamingos and shit like that on stage. He's always piping down on stage. Yeah, he can't stop. He can't put his pipe away.

He's always fucking flamingos. Dude, I went, I saw a. What about Sass asking the Bachelor contestant? Oh, yeah. What was his name? Zach C or something like that. Oh, yeah. We were in the green room.

I guess a lot has happened since last week. Yeah. I can't believe how much has happened, actually. We had a live show. Yeah, we had two live shows. We had a Son of a Boy Dad, Anus, Big Cat Crossover live show. Then we had a Chicks in the Office live show. Then I went to D.C.,

saw Boss Man Biden with my own fucking two eyes. Oh, damn. You flip him off for us? No, he was asleep. Oh, of course he was. Sleepy Joe. Sleepy Joe.

He was sleeping in the back of his limo. He was on his way back from brunch just fucking snoozing. Did you ask him why the hell he pulled the troops

from Afghanistan? You know how many people you fucked with this pullout? The fucking great institution of military has just been screwed by you I learned all about the weapons of mass destruction Iraq situation yesterday That's fucked Where did you learn about it? Off Wikipedia? No

YouTube video? The Green Zone with Matt Damon. What's that? A movie. Oh, yeah? It's good as fuck. And he's just, what's his lib ass saying? He finds out that the weapons of mass destruction don't exist.

What? And that George Bush set it all up. What the fuck? For what game? What did Bush get out of it? He just wanted to blow shit up bro i heard bush just had a swimming pool full of oil that he would fucking jump into himself he was just doing backstroke and fucking oil he was having oil with every meal he got so much extra oil from the saudis from from that war that he was just fucking dousing himself. If I accidentally just become

a QAnon conspiracy theorist, I wouldn't be surprised at all. Any conspiracy I hear, my instinct is, oh yeah, I believe that. Well, that's true, obviously. Conspiracy theorist, that word was created by the CIA in the 1960s to dissuade people from criticizing

Kennedy's murders. Everybody knows that. Conspiracies are the great conspiracy themselves. I'm up late at night thinking about Tower 7. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. Get the fucking tapes out. The way the towers fell does not make sense.

Pull out the YouTube videos. I walked past the uh the fbi headquarters this this weekend while i was in dc and all outside the headquarters there's like stock images of like fbi agents like pretending to be on like their computers or something it's like why would they decorate the fbi headquarters with promotional posters like it's a college like a admittance brochure or something all that shit was like hidden yeah like where why would they why would they say where the headquarters are or is that just like cia no i had fbi like there's a gift shop in the fbi headquarters

in high school that's what i mean like random people are just working at the fucking fbi fbi is just like a career like janitor is like you just go work for the FBI Go to the office every day I don't know actually I looked this up very recently Apparently it's like it depends on what your position is So some people You can tell them if you're in the CIA or FBI But then other people you can't Which obviously makes sense because if you're like a janitor

At the CIA A janitor You don't think they got janitors over there No if you're like a janitor, you can obviously tell people. But he's a gay senator. I interviewed this dude, Patrick Tillman. He used to be on the Bears one time. And I guess he's in the CIA now because they were like, don't ask him anything about the CIA.

And so I asked him right away about the CIA. And he just didn't answer it. So it's like Okay like You're being even more obvious bro Like fucking at least Give like a A lie answer You gotta come up with like a

With like a fake job Like oh I own a flower store Yeah Something that's like Sneaky like that Like don't I own a candle shop Down the street

If there's just rumors about it And then you don't answer it Like it's pretty fucking obvious You're in the CIA bro Yeah That being in the CIA Would be sick Yeah dude Fucking just ask Epstein bro He was fucking having The time of his life over there Like, it's pretty fucking obvious you're in the CIA, bro. That being in the CIA would be sick.

Yeah, dude, fucking just ask Epstein, bro. He was fucking having the time of his life over there. Protected. He was a protected informant. Oh, yeah. He was fucking big time PSYOP. Oh, yeah. If, uh, yeah, if we just pop out on the other end in our QAnon, it's like, what, are you going to blame us?

No. This is going to slowly become a QAnon podcast. Even when I was in D.C. What are we at right now? Is this episode 24? By episode 45 This will be a full alright QAnon podcast 45, nice touch

We'll be denying mass school shootings Even as I was in D.C. I was just like So this is the route that they took From the White House to the Capitol, huh? Not that far Not that far at all well it's uh when i was uh when he was going by there was uh a guy uh as as uh 46 was driving by a guy came up to me and he was like barstools and i was like yeah barstools and uh he was like stay here yeah i was like viva and he was like, yeah, barstools. And he was like, stay here. Yeah, I was like, Viva.

And he was like, stay here for a second. And he like ran off and he came back with a Department of Homeland Security medallion, like a fucking big ass like coin or something. He's like, here, man, like I got you this. And I think it's like a get out of jail free card. I think that is basically like I could commit like a low level act of terrorism and I can just like flip the agent to coin. What do you have your eyes set on? Yeah.

I mean, maybe just like an invasion. I was going to just set foot on the lawn. Like they're not fucking shooting people for going on the White House lawn. Yeah, they are. No, they're not. Yes, they do. No way they're going to shoot somebody. Dude, those guys wait for someone to step on that lawn for weeks on end. And blow their brains out? Yeah.

They wouldn't even just shoot to maim? No. Do you think that's happening every few weeks? Oh yeah. No way, because I was even reaching through the fence just to try and grab a couple blades of grass. You're lucky I don't lose a hand. Yeah, they cut it off like it's Aladdin or some shit. Thieves have to pay. Nobody takes our grass. But I think I have a get out of jail free card now. Do you have it on you?

It's on my desk. Should I get it? Nah. You want to do this ad read or? You don't get it or should I? I guess. Welcome back. All birds. Allbirds.

Allbirds. As the weather cools, wool returns to the foreground as hero material offering comfort, coziness, and the weightlessness to keep you going on your feet all day. Long. Long. As we settle into the fall season, life is picking up again, and we know that these days, staying comfortable is at the top of everyone's list. When you lace up a pair of Allbirds Wool Runners,

you'll see that Allbirds has redefined what it means to be comfortable all day long. Made from soft, sustainable merino wool, the Wool Runners don't just feel good, they look good too. Is it the way that they look? It's the way that they look. It's the color you get.

It's the style to them. How soft and comfortable they feel. That they've made... When do you like to wear them? I wear my wool runners all goddamn day. What kind of activities do you like to do them? I wear my wool runners all goddamn day. What kind of activities do you like to do with them on your feet? I like to run. I like to lift.

I like to get dirty. I like to get wet. I like to get dry. I do anything with my wool runners on. The wool runners... Is there anything you wouldn't do? No, there isn't. Is there anything you wouldn't do?

No, there isn't. The Wool Runners are made with soft, itch-free, and naturally durable ZQ-certified merino wool. The most sustainable wool you can get. So you'll feel comfortable wearing your Wool Runners and about your decision to wear them, too. They're simple and stylish. They're machine washable. They're breathable. They're comfortable. They're designed to be versatile and stylish.

Allbirds is a carbon-neutral company thanks to the sustainable practices like using natural materials and purchasing carbon offsets. Start the season off right with a pair of wool runners from Allbirds. Find your own pair of wool runners at allbirds.com today that's allbirds.com slash com no i messed that up don't go to that last one it's that is all birds a l l b e a l christ a l l b i r d s.com all birds what's in your wallet? Here's the medallion, motherfucker. Dude, why do I keep on just getting coins in my life? Okay, so I have one of these.

No, you don't. No, you don't. This guy was a fucking Secret Service Homeland Security police. I have one that looks just like this. He pulled me aside. He like ran to his car to get it. And it came in one of these little cases, too. This is fake, dude. And now I have to take it and report it to the security.

Kind of like how they took your ID at a... No, they don't just hand these things out to anybody. It's a stolen valor. They didn't just hand it out to anybody. I deserve that. They said I earned it, okay? They said I've been a good boy. It was like a pilot on a plane

Giving out wings Yeah my fake ID My last fake ID got taken How many fake IDs Has that guy Got taken recently Ten I'm mass producing them

So now I'm Now I'm just a normal 20 year old boy I was 22 For a good minute And it was fun But it's like Where can you even go anywhere

Nowhere I don't I don't go out and I get Diet Cokes. I'm on a Diet Coke kick right now. Dead ass. People have been destroying you. For what? Not letting you go anywhere.

They're like taking your fake ID anytime you... I think it's because you're bringing me to all these fancy ass places. Where did I even bring you that's fancy? Bro, this is all your fault. You don't even...

I've only got my IDs taken with you. So after the chicks In the office live show We went to a place Should we say where They took the ID Sure And everyone go there

And burn it down Morgan's Pier It was called Morgan's Pier It's called Morgan's Pier Go there with weapons They were Like we went through I tried to like

Create a rapport with the guys We were going through the line Don't go there with weapons Disclaimer No no You can go through Just go with knives Yeah

No automatic weapons Dick And I tried to As soon as he saw the ID going through the line. Don't go there with weapons, disclaimer. No, no, you can go through it with, just go with knives. Yeah. I mean, the dude was a total dick. And I tried to, as soon as he saw the ID, he like smelled it in the air. He was like, get out of line. Out of line. Out of line. And I was like, what? It felt like heavyweights when he was like, get off the scale. Yeah, really?

Get off the scale. Really? Out of line. Out of line. Now. But can I have that back, sir? And I was like, well, can I have it back? And he was like, nope, nope, nope.

And then he walked away. And I was like, fuck you, dude back? And he was like nope, nope, nope And then he walked away And I was like fuck you dude Yeah I was like fuck you bro Fuck you man You don't even fucking know who my dad is bro My dad will fucking sue your ass Do you know who I work for?

Fucking Viva bro Fucking Portnoy saved half the bars in this city Yeah You're lucky you were making enough money Bro you wouldn't be shit without Portnoy You wouldn't be fucking shit withoutnoy. You'd be fucking shit without him. He was a fucking bouncer, bro. You'd try to throw

a jumping punch at him. Make an open fisted punch and get caught in the air by another bouncer. I was going to go back and ask for it back again. And I was going to lie and say I'm a touring comedian and I needed to do my shows. Yeah, you asked me on the phone if you should say that. And then you were like, yeah, I don't think they're going to give a fuck. I don't think so.

Oh, I didn't realize you're a touring comedian. Yeah, you asked me on the phone if you should say that. And then you were like, yeah, I don't think they're going to give a fuck. I don't think so. Oh. Oh, I didn't realize you're a touring comedian. Look, bro, I have connections that could either destroy this place or make it the most poppin' bar in Philly. You choose.

Blue pill or red pill. Could go either way for you, brother. Don't mess this up. You probably got a lot of people working with you that are counting on you to make the right decision right now. They had no idea how powerful you were in that situation.

Yeah. It's actually really fucked because now I didn't do anything this weekend. I kind of just chilled. No, you genuinely are fucked for the next six months. Because also I was thinking I don't really care about New York that much. I'm fine just hanging out. You can also go to bars in New York. No, you literally can't.

That's bullshit. No, it's not. They really threw you off there. Yeah, you did. Fucking bullshit. I can't go anywhere. No, I could. I'm assuming there are bars in New York that don't ID, but also at the same time, it's

like I don't want to go out, go all the way down to East Village and then get denied and then get embarrassed and then have to go home alone. Yeah. Bro. So imagine how I feel. And you were in Philly. I was in Philly, bro. You were in Philly out there. Walking around alone.

But luckily you found like – Luckily I ran into Owen on the street. You're panhandling. Within five minutes you were shirtless With a Cardboard sign Me and Oum Were saying that the dude Wanted his ID to be faked So bad

Yeah he was pissed When I was 21 Yeah he would have Fucking left it Two collars in one night Yeah Probably almost reached his quota I know

He's probably like A fucking poacher I mean I knew It was gonna happen I mean the ID Was a piece of shit But I don't know It was just annoying

And now I'm thinking I'm like well what happens If we go somewhere again like what happens when we go to well if the id wouldn't work in boston anyway but like now when we go to boston it's like what everyone goes out and i just have to sit in my hotel room the bouncer probably like diet cokes puts fake ids up on his wall like a hunter puts up uh the horns of like there's a lot of places that do that a lot of places like like hang up the fake Yeah. You tried an old hockey trick at the next bar though. And it worked. Yeah.

I just showed them my real ID. Went in with confidence. And the next bar you went to was like one of the gnarliest Philly bars of all time. Patty's. Patty's. Which is. I kind of want to keep that one a secret. Really?

Not let anyone know? It's not a secret. I don't think no one's going to like. It's not going to get ruined. No. There's no way you can ruin that place because it's been around for... It's what Always Sunny was based on.

Yeah. And I guess, I don't know if they used to go there, but it's an old city. I think that's what it's based on. And it's gnarly. We used to go there. Yeah, it was fun. It was a good time.

Everybody in there is like a nurse. Eagles fucking got smoked. Which, I mean, dude, how long are we gonna take this i mean is it time to call for sirianni's job bro i mean i'm sorry i'm about to become a bucks fan you were fucking shouting in the bar why did you take your shirt off that one time over that call you flipped the bowl of pretzels they were soft pretzel they were hard pretzels but they were soft and you flipped the bowl and ripped your shirt off when Brady... When you're a diehard Eagles fan...

You bleed green. That shit runs deep. Yeah, you bleed green, bro. We got to fucking put out some bleeding green shirts, bro. I know. Fucking cut me. Cut me, I bleed green. Yeah, it was a good time, though.

Philly was fun. The New York show was fun, too. Yeah, New York show was cool as well. Boston tickets for the Boston show will be up this week Probably around Wednesday or Thursday I think we should do two shows in Boston Why? I think this one's going to sell out fast And why do you want to do two shows?

More money, more money, more money, more money Oh you're You're about to get your fucking rack i'm on my money grind right now i gotta get my money up my ears did perk up a little when dave said less than a thousand people so 999 person shows yeah that's a lot of fucking tickets that's like that's like there's like theaters with with like 900 people. Yeah, it's awesome. He just created the grandest loophole for us to fucking... I'm going to be ran into meetings pulling that up. Yeah, Bossman said that anything under a buck is good for us.

But also, I think the thing that he only... And the only difference... People we don't consider humans don't count. I think the only problem is that he was talking about stand-up. They own Son of a Boy Dad. What? Barstool owns Son of a boy dad say psych bro they don't own like stuff like if i do if we were to do stand-up not the ip bro they've got the ip we gotta fucking call up cooper and get her a lawyer i know fuck bro big sis come give us some guidance but yeah i'm trying to do i'm trying to get on the

live show grind I was telling him We should go on tour For like a year And just make like a million dollars What's so funny about that? I'm down for it too Like you

We would make a fuck ton of money I know you're not kidding And I'm not kidding either No Dude I was crunching the numbers I'll drop everything I was crunching the numbers today I crunched them for you but

No no not for that Not for that Not for that one I was talking about I was looking at another comedian who sold out seven shows and he tweeted it like

oh thanks for everyone like sold out seven shows blah blah blah and I looked up the venue that he's doing and I looked up the ticket price 70k in like two days

yeah seven shows that's a lot yeah and he probably is doing the same act over and over yeah like are we putting out

these live shows nah the one the one from the one from wednesday we won't put out so that's my question so are we gonna do the same show over and over again so like i'll start you i'll reuse jokes i've never done it before i mean we would have to like write but i'm saying it sounds incredible like if you could just give but have you ever you've never seen the 85 south dudes dc young fly and all them? They do live shows and they sell out theaters and they'll just go up and bust on people. They're busting on people left and right, bro. Yeah, dude.

I think for us, I think where the money is at is live shows. Well, what about the fans, though? Bro, fuck the fans. Fuck the fans. Bro, who wouldn't want to spend $100 to come see us? Oh yeah, by the way, we're also bumping the ticket prices up to like $200 a piece. Yeah. Bro, we're selling out hard.

But also, like... No, I'm kidding. The tickets will be like $25. No, they'll be $100. But the fact that it's never going to exist anywhere else, I think you can charge more. No one's ever going to be able to listen to that on a podcast. And I think what we said at our live show was, if it's possible, way rawer and raunchier than any... Oh, yeah.

We're going to be getting offensive. We were really offensive. So offensive. The name of our tour is going to be like... N-word, F-word. No. It's going to be like like Son of a boy dad You can't say that

With tape over our mouth Yeah Loud and complicit Yeah Wait a second But the Yeah I think that Or I don't even know

If it was that I think it was like A very son of a boy dad Episode The sense of humor I don't think we But I think everybody else Afterwards

Like the other people Who were on stage I think it was a little bit Further than they wanted to go. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which is fine with me. I don't think we said anything crazy. Yeah, we were just cracking our normal super edgelord jokes.

Yeah, I don't think we say anything that crazy. I mean, obviously we push the boundaries in comedy, but I don't think we're saying anything cancel-worthy. Yeah. Big Cat gave us cash not to post it. Yeah. Big Cat was like, dude, a lot is riding on this right now. This is enough to destroy me. He just gave us a vanilla envelope full of fucking cash.

I just woke up one day and there was a big briefcase at my door. You woke up. There's a Tesla in your room. Yeah. You went to sleep in your bed and woke up in the hotel from Home Alone. I've been tweeting about how I wanted a PlayStation 4, and all of a sudden I woke up and there was a PlayStation 5 on my desk. There was a pile of PlayStation 5s.

Yeah. I was like, I can't even use all these at once. Have fun. Have fun. And never put that shit out. Yeah. I don't think live shows are your thing. Maybe you're more of a PlayStation guy.

Maybe redirect your attention to Valorant. The live shows are fun because it is true. You can say things that you wouldn't be able to say normally. Yeah. Like, obviously, you can touch base on the LGBTQ community. Finally. Finally. That one was probably too far.

What? What you said. I don't remember saying anything, bro. I remember you distinctly saying something. Bro, don't put words in my mouth. You pantomimed something. Don't make me out to be a bad guy. You pantomimed something.

This is no mustard on the jacket situation. Bro, my agents are going to fucking fry your guys' asses. Did you sign with agents? No. Are you close? I don't know. So, yes. Bro, hush hush.

I am hush hush. Oh, the other agents are going to be pissed? The other agents that you've talked to, you've been stringing along multiple times. I've got like six agents right now. You're just getting wine and dined every night. It's like those girls who go out on Tinder dates just to get a free dinner. Like, yeah, I'll listen to your pitch. Just hit up the...

I've got like ten agents, and they all are going to fry your guys' asses. Yo, I've got a fucking bone to pick with you. Yeah? Here we go. I need you to roast me more. I looked at the fucking clip of last week, and I had the fucking loosest sweatshirt neck of all time fucking last week, and nobody said a thing.

You just walked too late. There's nothing worse than a loose sweatshirt. I looked at it. Or a loose neck. The neck should be right here. It was a bacon neck, and I should have worn something

underneath it probably it was sitting right as I went home but as I'm sitting in these chairs my fucking shoulders go up B I didn't get roasted at all C I

look like a fucking sorority girl on the walk of shame with a fucking oversized sweatshirt on and nobody even found that's what I need from you bro I need

you to keep me honest and roast me up a little bit bro I could never you were just thinking about it In your mind Bro I could never roast The roast master

Say less brother I'm like Jeff Ross up here For sure Even though Jeff Ross I feel like Has just like Now he's just trying to like Fuck 23 year old pussy

He's just on like A whole different tangent In his life He's not trying to roast anymore He used to be about the roasts. Yeah, a lot of people fall out of the game. It's a shame when you see that happen. Yeah, people get too much money. Doesn't matter how much money I get. I'll always

love to roast. Yeah, I can't relate. Once I get a certain amount of money, you're never hearing from me again. Shut up. And it's not a lot of money. It's like a hundred bucks. A small amount of money. I'm willing to get out of the game for $100. All games?

I'll just go off the cart. Except Harry said he wouldn't sell his alternate Twitter account for $100,000. I mean, that's where all the good jokes go anyway. Of course. How much would the main Twitter go for? No, I said the main for $100,000. How much do you value your life, bro? Okay, there we go. um no i would not sell my

main account for a hundred thousand dollars want to know why the ads because that's just going to be worth millions one day has anyone ever successfully sold their twitter account yes i feel like all who uh i know people who have what and to what end what do you mean successfully they sell it and then make much money. It's people who are looking to quit Twitter. Yeah. A, how does that work? Why would somebody be looking to quit Twitter?

And B, whoever is buying it, what are they doing with it? It's like a brand will buy it. Obviously, it's like there's no really good reason to buy a Twitter account unless you're a complete idiot, but people still do it. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me. What are you going to take somebody else's voice? It's people who move to LA or New York and they're like, I'm going to be an influencer. And then they're like, well, I don't want to start from scratch. I work hard, so I'm just going to buy an account. I'm going to use my dad's money, pay $100,000 for this account, and then I'm going to tank it into the ground.

That's what I mean. It inevitably tanks into the ground. Yeah. It's like buying a plane and not knowing how to fly it. I've had people DM me and they'll have'll have like a hundred Or like four hundred thousand followers On Instagram And they'll be like Yo bro let's swap accounts

Like what Like the only reason You would want to do that Is because you have An inactive account Yeah what And also if What do you think

Like If I sell my account Or switch accounts People aren't going to be like Sticking around To look at your shit I know To watch you promote

Like your sweatshirts People think that Someone's loyal to like the account they're loyal to the content yeah yeah like no one gives a fuck about where the what account it's coming from it's just like you would lose like hundreds of thousands of followers in a day yeah you'd bleed them yeah i'm an island boy island boy you won't get your hair done up like that what's up No I won't I would actually Okay

Now we're talking But yeah live shows So I mean we're gonna be In your nearest city soon Soon So you really crunched the number For a whole year Oh yeah

What did you find out Owen It's nice Was it I don't know if I I didn't Cause you sent it to me Right before the yak Cause like

We're just having a conversation If you just put a microphone Up to us So is this each? Mm-hmm Oh my god Why'd your eyes Just turn into dollar signs

Well it would be good For me and Owen But I don't know If you would like the number Oh fuck Okay but this is also One show We gotta be doing

Like three shows Per place we go to Sure And that In that case This is gonna one show. We got to be doing like three shows per place we go to. Sure. And in that case, this is going to be a massive number. What about merch, though? Bro, what about merch? Why aren't you trying to make fucking the merch bag, too? Because the money's in live shows, brother.

I know. I know it. In the Philly live show uh it was a it was an interesting uh it was an interesting layout it was awesome to go up in front of the chicks in the office fans but it's like they were i mean they would just they're ravenous at anything anyone did why aren't son of a boy dad fans like that we've got a more we got a more tamed crowd they're more reserved yeah they're more men who won't scream like Like, we need the boys to be screaming. I know.

We need the bros to be out there. I think you guys have a surprisingly co-ed fan base. That's facts. We need to make girl mom sweatshirts for the boys. Okay. Yeah. A lot of people have been asking for the girl mom gear. Also, we need some...

If you're buying Son of a Boy Dad merch, maybe size up. We've been getting pictures of people looking like sausage casings. Bursting through it. Just like, this is the double XL. Yeah, I mean, I'm a large, typically. Not really. It's time to accept I'm an XL now. It's just a cut of, I'm a medium on the bottom, XL on the top.

Yeah. If you know what I mean. I'm a small on the bottom. I'm shaped like a water tower. I'm fucking lumped out. I wear an XL and I'm small. You're not. If you're a large XL and I'm small. You're not. Oh, if you're a large, if you're a large, you wear an XL.

You're not fucking small. You're not. I mean, you're definitely not as jacked as me. I was putting in the work this weekend at the gym. Were you meal prepping yesterday? Oh, yeah. Shut the fuck up. I thought you were selling drugs.

There's just a scale. Oh, yeah. And bags on our kitchen counter You're doing macros? Oh yeah Big time That's the softest shit I ever heard No cause I'm currently working on a body to recomp

Yeah if you wanna recomp bro You gotta go in angry I am angry You go in I'm doing very high protein Medium to low carb and fat And I'm doing like a 200 calorie deficit a day I actually saw you tweeting about

the calorie deficit that's why your alt is so funny like that's why the alt is necessary yeah you could never tweet that for the main no i would lose followers break down work on uh work on the mental health as well why well because better help is going to be the best solution of your of your entire life ever since i got in the into BetterHelp game, I'm seeing the ball faster. I'm seeing the ball more clearly. The whole game has slowed down. BetterHelp is like giving yourself the limitless pill. And I'm not on the script right now, but the best thing about BetterHelp is you don't have to wait for something to be wrong in your life.

I think that there's a big misconception about therapy that it's like, oh, something has to be wrong or you need something to fucking fix it. Or like you, it's not like going to the doctor for a broken arm. It's not like something is snapped inside of you that they're just going to get right. It's something that you could just kind of work on and you can kind of massage through. And that's why better help is the best choice for me. You can just log on to better help. They'll pair you up with the therapist therapist You can just say what's wrong Check a couple boxes Be like oh this is what I'm thinking about This is what I want to work on

And they'll pair you up with someone You can do video chats You can do phone chats There's a million ways that BetterHelp can help you out It's easy to schedule It's a true game changer Yes sir Look

You don't go to fucking therapy. Yeah, I do, bro. Hell yes, bro. Look, I'm going to be open with you. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, even live chat sessions with your therapist. I'm about to gatekeep therapy so hard. You don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to.

It's much more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. Why invest in everything else? Why invest in everything else but not your mind? Facts. Look, Rowan, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Facts. Get that through your head.

Facts. And son of a boy dad listeners get 10% off on their first month at betterhelp.com slash son. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash son. Get your mind right. Get your mind right Get your mind right Get your mind out of the gutter What's in your wallet? What's in your brain?

What's in your brain? Get BetterHelp BetterHelp What's in your brain? Salute BetterHelp too And if they use that slogan that I just said ever Gonna be looking for that check in the mail He is check hunting

You are money hungry I'm money hungry right now Dude the that check in the mail? He is check hunting. You are money hungry right now. Dude, the money's in the wars. I know. Yo, dead ass. Dead ass. Bro, we have to start a war. We should start a war. Maybe we should start doing live shows in the Middle East.

And then at night we'll sneak out and start digging for oil. Why not? Or at least drone strike somebody. Yeah. Let's drone strike someone who didn't deserve it. Yeah. Bang.? Yeah. Or at least drone strike somebody. Yeah. Let's drone strike someone who didn't deserve it. Yeah. Bang.

A family. Suddenly we're making money. But then we otherize them or something like that and then we just, we blame them even though it was our fault. We blame them.

I agree. And then we're laughing to the bank. I fully agree. I think we should, look, money's in live shows, it's in oil, it's in war,

it's in drone strikes. Son of the boy dad is. It's in oil. It's in war. It's in drone strikes. Son of the Boy Dad is – It's in terrorism. It's the best – or it's the most popular Department of Defense podcast that there is. Oh, easily. We're linked into the Department of Defense. We're not only going to get into the live show game. We're going to get into the human trafficking game.

But on both sides of it though. We're going to bust it up and we're gonna fucking put it together uh even we're yeah why are sass and ron in the baltics good luck but uh you think that uh we were trying to figure that out this this this weekend dc not a state no dc is not a state so does that mean that everybody in DC isn't illegal? They're illegal, right? Why? Because they're not born in the 50 United States They're not fucking

They're not naturalized citizens There's fucking ICE agents As midwives in DC That are deporting kids as soon as they get born You can't fucking live out in DC But it's in a state No, it's not Yeah, it is

What state is DC in? I But it's in a state. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. What state is D.C. in? I thought it was in like Virginia. No. No. It's its own district. It's its own thing, bro. District of Columbia. Wow, I did not know that.

Bro, I'm telling you, bro. I'm on some shit, bro. I've been fucking reading, dude. Isn't that fucking nuts, bro? Yeah, I have nothing to say about that. What'd you do all weekend? Just fucking lifted? I lifted a lot.

And I watched a lot of movies. Put me onto a new exercise. Walking. I walked for seven miles yesterday. Shut up. Yeah. Is that high impact or low impact? Low impact.

Do you think that you have to, like, do you stretch? You don't stretch, obviously. No, I stretch before I work out. you walk before i lift heavy weight how about a walking stretch no put your calf up against the wall like this bro i'm not old like that bro i mean you're gonna get old real fast if you don't start stretching you're gonna be fucking walking around like zuckerberg i'm not like your old ass you You're going to be limping around like- Your elderly ass. Your LGBTQ ass. Your elderly ass, bro. I'm not fucking old, bro.

Yeah, but- Just hanging out. Yeah, I just hung out. No, me and Owen didn't really hang out. He ditched me. Whatever. Yeah, Owen's an island boy. I'm kidding.

Owen didn't ditch me. He didn't ditch you or did ditch you? We went to a thrift We went to Oh fuck We went to What is that store called L Train Vintage

Metropolis Metropolis Hanes t-shirt Forty five dollars Shut up Yeah Just a plain Just a pocket

Just a grey We sell three packs For seven ninety nine Why is that not The fucking business we're in I know Forty five dollars Why don't we just sell That's how much this sweatshirt was Seventy dollars Four hundred thirty dollars Three packs for $7.99. Why is that not the fucking business we're in? I know. $45. Why don't we just sell?

That's how much this sweatshirt was. $70? $430. I believe you. It was. I believe you. That's why I got to get my money up. I used the company card to buy it.

Smart man. Yeah, I took a picture of the company card out of your wallet. Yeah, I mean, I... I've been using it every day. I rent with it. I can't swipe but can you type this in just using big cats for anything less than 20 yeah you just type this in at the thrift shop yeah thrift shops are out of fucking control it wasn't a thrift shop though it was a it was a vintage store that's what is my ass and they're like all like the best real estate it's

like these incredible stores That are selling The fucking They also had 2010s vintage They had Billie Eilish T-shirts For like 110 She's a teen still

The t-shirts were more Expensive than the sweatshirts For some reason The t-shirts were all $150 It doesn't make any sense No one's buying a t-shirt For $150

They are They are Dude It was ridiculous And fast fashion Was like a thing? There wasn't even that many. There was a Kramer from Seinfeld shirt.

$150. And he's a racist! Yeah, $150 to get cancelled wearing a Kramer shirt. I saw a Hitler shirt for $45. Just a fucking fathead of Hitler on the fucking front of his shirt. And that's a steal. Why is that cheaper than the Kramer shirt? Right?

Yeah, it was a rip-off. Don't go there and if you do, bring a weapon. Steal from the vintage shop. That's going to be our new thing. Bring weapons into places that treat you bad?

Well, the thing is, it's like, okay, so these people are going to a thrift store. Realistically, they're going to like a Savers or a Buffalo Exchange. Yeah.

They're finding these shirts and they're bringing them back to their store and selling them for like 800 times the price you're saying people are thrifting from a thrift no they buy like mass hauls they'll get like 100 pounds of t-shirts for what like 20 bucks yeah dude the word haul in and of itself makes my fucking skin crawl yeah it's people be like look at this haul i just got from the grocery store they do like right it haul Bitch those are your groceries Yeah What the fuck are you talking about A haul

Yeah I liked the sweatshirt So I had to cop Is that actually Vinty So I had to cop it Is that actually Vint Yeah this is Vince Vince This is Vinny

Put the name of the bear on it Bro this is Vinny no hacker I know Yo you're doing wordplay? If you get into the wordplay, it's game over for everybody. Oh, yeah. Have you ever done wordplay? Of course I have.

Are you sure? I minored in wordplay at college. Yeah, but you didn't get the degree in wordplay. When we were walking in Philly, you couldn't think of two words off the top of your head. To wordplay? Bro, that's not me. You were soused, though, bro bro i was not at all you were high off cigarettes when we got those uh when we got those those subs yeah i got the meatball sub

right yeah yeah i ate it in my bed and it was just a mess and i had to use like a towel like a face towel yes and i wiped it all up and it's just like red stained everywhere. It looked like a murder scene. And I just left it in my bed when I checked out. And I was like, they probably thought someone got shot in here. You're just bleeding all over your bed and fucking leaving it. I'm starving right now. I could definitely go for one of those. Got a meatball sub from Geno's.

Famous for cheesesteaks. But yeah. I'm not watching a cheesesteak guy. Really? No. Because you've never been to Philly. I have been to Philly I have been to Philly twice actually what and I had a

Cheese steak the first time I was there Us shit sucked I think Philly's a sneaky Meatball sub spot I was like the best People so I've ever had really yeah Shit it was so good damn maybe just Because you were so high off cigarettes That you fuck it and I watched some South Park really to bed were you Ge That you fucking And then I watched some South Park Really?

Went to bed Were you geeking out? No I think I watched it for 10 seconds And then muted it I know South Park is always on television Yeah

But it's People give ridiculousness a lot of Like guff for being on TV all the time If you turn on Comedy Central at any time They're just cranking out South Park episodes Yeah I mean because it's the funniest show It is a very funny show.

What are your goat shows? What's your Mount Rushmore of the five funniest shows? Oh, man. That's tough. That's tough, bro. Anything CNN puts out? Anything CNN? First of all, for starters, the Tucker Carlson show.

Well, he's funny for a different reason than CNN. He's funny because of the jokes. CNN's funny because it's laughable. My top five favorite shows, the late show with Trevor Noah, the late show with Jimmy Kimmel, the late show with Jimmy Fallon. Bo and Yang's Instagram story. Bo and Yang's podcast. Get off Yang, bro. You're putting a lot of mustard on Yang's jacket.

I am. What's your vendetta against Yang? I don't know He's just your easiest guy to make fun of Go at A.D. Bryan a little then Well A.D. Bryan sucks too There you go But SNL's actually not been that bad this season

I watched a couple sketches yesterday and I was laughing hard Shut up They did one with the I think the guy who hosted was really funny Rami Malek? Yeah, he was funny on it. He did well. One of my boys, he stole Rami Malek's girl one time.

Damn. Yeah, he was like a PA on the same movie that Rami Malek was working on. And my boy stole, this is actually a whole other Mike. This is a Mike that boxed in college. But he stole Rami Malek's girl at the at the end of the night imagine being the star of the movie and like a pa takes your girl like you're both at a cast party and the fucking pa goes home with your girl yeah that's not cool i've never been able to look at rami malik the same since then i was like fucking this dude he must have you probably didn't

like her that's what tyler did at the live show yeah Yeah? Oh, yeah. What did Tyler do? What did Tyler get into? Just laying pipe. Dude, the fucking girls were loving Tyler. Girls, actually, I met Owen's girl. Owen met my wife. True. Oh, and you met Rowan's girlfriend?

Sass is the only one that's truly singy out here. I love calling Rowan's wife his girlfriend. Because it pisses me off so much. Yeah, because it gets him real angry. Nobody says that. The only two things that get Roan angry are when I call his wife his girlfriend and when I say he's old.

I'm young, goddammit! And when I say he looks like Mark Zuckerberg. Dude, don't fucking... If we make a t-shirt of Dave and fucking Mark Zuckerberg next to each other with a Spider-Man meme... We'll just do two halves of their faces. I don't know why he circled his Achilles heel for us. I know. The only thing I'm insecure about is this.

God damn. I don't think he really looks like Mark Zuckerberg at all. Yeah, but if that's what bothers him, he shouldn't have gave people the playbook. He should have made a sneaky flex. Be like, oh, people always mix me up with this other billionaire. Yeah, but if someone told you you look like Warren Buffett, you wouldn't be like, well, at least he's a billionaire. It's like, well, he's fucking 80, which is my age. See, I'm all about the money these days, so I would probably take that as a compliment.

If they compare you to anyone rich? Yeah. You look like Jack Ma. Don't even know who that is, but yeah. He's a rich ass bull. The CEO of Alibaba? Yeah. He look like Jack Ma. Don't even know who that is, but yeah. He's a rich ass boy. The CEO of Alibaba? Yeah. He's the Alibaba CEO.

Fuck yeah. Take face. He's rich, bro. He's fucking- You gotta become a CEO of something. Asian rich. Facts of son of a boy dad. We need to get the IP.

We should have asked Dave for the IP. Yeah, we gotta get out of here and we gotta get the IP. We got to get the IP. We also have to talk about Manscaped. Oh, my favorite brand. Yes, bro. My absolute favorite. Yeah, your whole situation

has been looking fucking aerodynamic. Oh, yeah. Really aerodynamic. Like a little boy. I got the pubes of a little boy. That's why we're never gonna,

we'll never be able to go fully QAnon if you keep on talking about little boy pubes. Why? They hate pedophiles over there. No, they all love pedophiles there. Bro, you're going to get us excommunic...

What's a Q way we could put... You're the wordplay god. Give us some wordplay on Q and excommunicated or something. Excommunicated. Some shit like that. ExQAnon? Yeah, there you go. There we go.

Manscaped. 20% off and free shipping with code son let me just get that out of the way to start off because that's how good their shit is over at manscaped i have been enjoying manscaped because ow ooh ooch it oh no it's a bloodbath in here there There's got to be a better way to get my dagger clean and shine. You're fucking this up. Let me take it over. All right. From the top. Ah.

Ow. OMG. Fuck. Oh, no. It's a bloodbath in here. There's got to be a better way to get my dagger clean and shiny. Fuck, that's good. Shiny.

Safely than this. More safely than this, I'm assuming, is what they meant. Line. This is what I used to deal with when I cut myself shaving before I knew about Manscaped. Thank you, Manscaped, for keeping my dagger slick and ready for whenever the night takes me. A little behind-the-scenes action. When they say dagger, they're actually talking about your cock and ball.

Talking about your cock. Your cock and ball situation. Manscaped is trusted by over 2 million men worldwide. That is 2 million daggers worldwide. Join the movement by going to manscaped.com for 20% off, plus free shipping with code SUN. SUN. That was a fun little sketch plus free shipping with code SUN. SUN.

That was a fun little sketch. Like, I wish more ad reads did that. I wish more brands gave us a little sketch to read out. Seriously, better than anything Bowen Yang's put out. I know. Fucking. Bowen Yang doesn't do it. Just do it.

Anything better than A.D. Bryant's put out. Yeah. I'd love to see A.D. Bryant try and nail something about the 2 million men that are getting their dagger right. Should we reenact it one more time? But like we'll spice it up a little more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Switch it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we'll make it like we're two people. And your inspiration is that you've just shredded your skin, your penis skin. Yeah. Your mid shaft. All right. Oh, no. My dick fell off. It's a goddamn bloodbath in here!

There's gotta be a better way to get my cock clean and shiny! Wait, wait, I got one, I got one, I got one. You're, uh, you're, uh, the housekeeping lady at the hotel in Philly walks in and, uh, and she sees the towel with just red shit all over it and she's like, have you not been using manscaped again? She's like, God damn it. This is why we put a mandatory manscaped in every single one of our visitors' showers. Hotel room.

Hotel room. Hotel showers. Sorry, guys. I fucked that one up. It was a meatball parm. And you just say, it was a meatball parm. And then I pull my pants down and my balls are two meatballs instead. And my dick is in a

bun. But it's geysering blood though. And then I go, manscaped.com for 20% off plus free shipping with code SUN. If you want to shave your meatball parm sub, go over to the good folks at Manscaped. Are you sick and tired of eating a meatball sub

and the meatballs are spilling all over the place, getting all saucy? You can keep your towel dry. Keep your towel dry with Manscaped. Manscaped. Manscaped.com. Get 20% off free shipping with code SUN at Manscaped. Manscaped. Manscaped.com. Get 20% off free shipping with code SUN at Manscaped.com. Stiff arm your pubes out of the playoffs this year with Manscaped.

I'm going to stiff arm these pubes out of here with Manscaped. But back to Ruth Bader Ginsburg being a bitch, though. Do you know people that love Ruth Bader Ginsburg? You're looking at one do you actually yes ruth conda forever it's recently come out that ruth ruth bader ginsburg thought that colin kaepernick was stupid and arrogant and that katie couric edited those those uh comments out of uh of an interview so uh whose side are you on are you on ruth bader ginsburg side are you on colin kaep Ruth Bader Ginsburg's side or are you on Colin Kaepernick's side?

Are you woke or are you ain't? Bro, that's tough for me because I'm a feminist. Dude, I just, it was just funny to read that headline after like, the like, Ruth Bader Ginsburg turned into

such a cult figure that like women in Williamsburg just lost their shit getting Ruth Bader Ginsburg turned into such a cult figure that women in Williamsburg just lost their shit getting Ruth Bader Ginsburg silhouette paintings and bicep tattoos. I didn't really even know much about her until she was about to die. Until she died, and then people were like, oh, I've always loved Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It's like, bitch, what? You always loved the Supreme Court? Yeah. That's the thing I don't get.

No one actually gives a fuck. They're pretending to. But it's like people, everyone collectively decided to pretend so fucking hard. Yeah. Like, what are you going to do if you have a Ruth Bader Ginsburg tattoo on one arm because you're woke and a Colin Kaepernick tattoo on the other arm because you're woke and your fucking arms hate each other? One of them's getting laser removed, brother.

You have to. I'll tell you it's not Kaepernick. Exactly. It's Ruth. Those fucking- Those colors you, it's not Kaepernick. Exactly. It's Ruth. Those fucking, those colors don't run, the Kaepernick tattoo colors. It's just, that one was a head scratcher for me. Yeah, definitely. I thought I'd bring some pop culture in for the boys.

Have you ever seen the Trump video when he finds out that Ruth Konda died? Oh, no, I didn't hear that. That's terrible. And what's playing in the background Hold me closer Tiny dancer I thought it was Body yada yada yada

Oh no Oh that's terrible I didn't hear that I'm really upset to hear that Oh fuck That fucking sucks I want to pull it off Cause it is one of the greatest

Hold me closer Tiny dancer Oh no I hadn't heard that Count the headlights On the highway That's totally fucked Can't you get copyrighted For singing songs now

Close Not when they're that bad bro Okay well don't say that Cause that actually hurts my feelings I thought we were Busting stones bro We're just breaking Each other's balls in here

Just saying really mean Personal stuff And hiding under the fact That it's a podcast I thought we were busting stones, bro. We're just breaking each other's balls in here. Just saying really mean personal stuff and hiding under the fact that it's a podcast. That's our way. It's a comedy podcast, bro. Son of a boy dad way. All right, so where do you guys think we should go first on the live tour? So Boston, obviously. Boston, obviously.

We need to do one in Philly. That's where the bricks were built. Yeah, brick by brick. We should do one at the Newton office, a Milton office, or whatever the fuck the office is. No, because I'm trying to do big-ass venues. I'm not trying to do tiny-ass offices. We should do one at historical sites. We should do one at the Vietnam Memorial. We should do Boston, Buffalo, Philly, Baltimore,

D.C., Charlotte, Charleston, Atlanta, Nashville, Cincinnati, Columbus, Chicago, Milwaukee, Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, then back to New York. Okay, but where's Europe in that? I didn't hear Paris. I didn't in that? I didn't hear Paris. I didn't hear London. I didn't hear Rome.

Bonjour, Paris! I want to do Australia. Je suis son of a boy, dad. Imagine we launch a whole tour and release the tickets and just none of them sell. We sell like 10 tickets. Australia just doesn't give a fuck. Get out of here! Actually, Brandon, you want to be on this episode too? Just come on and talk. Just sell like 10 tickets. Australia just doesn't give a fuck. Get out of here. Actually, Brandon, you want to be on

this episode too? Just come on and talk. Just come on and talk. Talk into the mic. Talk into the mic. You have an interview right now? Yeah. That can't be possible. We have the room booked. You have until 3.30. Fuck. Look, Brandon, I got a couple Benjamins in my pocket. Then we can make this whole

thing go away. Does this Department of Homeland Security medallion maybe get us out of jail free right here, my friend? It very much would. Can I have that? No, definitely not. You can't have it. $200 you can have it. Look, Brandon.

You said it out loud. Wait, how much was that shirt worth? That shirt was worth $450. Rip the arms off and give him the torso of it. That should be about $200. How long have we been going? Buck 30. Okay, we're fine. We'll wrap it up. Any...

All right, well, we had a whole hour left planned, but anyone who's upset about this, you can DM Brandon to let him know. B. Walker, SEC. Bobby Lashley, 340. Ashley is a girl's name. Lashley. Well, it's got Ashley in it. Okay, bro. That's like an Ashley taking an L, bro. Ashley's a girl's name Well it's got Ashley in it Okay bro

You take our podcast room And Bobby Lashley and you guys can come in here Shoot the shit about god knows what I don't want to embarrass him On whose behalf We're all supportive of you You're right I apologize for not apologizing on whose behalf. Actually, I don't apologize. We're always supportive of you. There's a room that... You're right.

I apologize for not apologizing. All right, thank you. It's all right. All right, guys. Thanks for listening. Once again, we're really sorry this Epico got cut short, really short.

We were going to have Dave back in. Dave was coming back on. Silvano was going to come on. Tim Dillon was coming on. We had a whole bunch of guests. Tim Dillon, Shane Gillis. All of our goats. Chappelle's in the Zoom. Chappelle's, yeah. Chappelle's. We got Chappelle literally locked in. Tim Dillon, Shane Gillis. All of our goats. Chappelle's in the Zoom.

Chappelle's, yeah. Chappelle's. We got Chappelle literally locked in. And not Portnoy. Chappelle. Sorry, Chappelle. We had him locked in. You can't come on.

We had him locked in for two hours. Bobby Ashley's going to come on. You have to go listen to Bobby Ashley. Bobby Ass Cheeks is what I call him. Bobby Ass Cheeks has to come in here and do his whatever the fuck he wants. Flap his fucking buttocks at the fucking camera. Alright guys, thanks for listening.

Make sure you like, subscribe, comment, buy merch, buy tickets. Oh yeah, you're going to want to watch this on YouTube

because the way that Dave was looking and sass his eyes, that was the first time they ever made eye contact. I thought he was going to try and fuck me. He was trying to fuck you. He DM'd me after

and he was like, what do you have planned for after this? Let's meet up, meet in my office, let's go over how it went. I wish I had kissed you. Were you sending crazy signals or was that just me?

All right. We're wrapping it up. Thanks. Bye.