Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 26 - Flu Game

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

-- In Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals, a flu-stricken Michael Jordan willed the Chicago Bulls to a win against the Utah Jazz -- In Episode 26 of Son of a Boy Dad, an under-the-weather Lil Sasquatch talked with his friend Rone for over 90 minutes -- Full episode also available on YouTube -- Live show tomorrow night in Boston -- New merch this weekYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I feel like ass. I'm burning up over here. You actually got a fever? Yeah. 101.

You have to have the same thing I have because I didn't sick outward signs of it but like i felt like trash on the inside like i can't i look at you i can't tell it's not like you're sweating or like yeah i didn't feel shitty so i i woke up yesterday felt fine went to the gym came home because sometimes the gym will beat it yeah sometimes you beat those charges like rock yeah and i got home felt really shitty all night. But I was like, maybe I just overdid it at the gym. And then I woke up this morning. I felt terrible.

And then I tried to just forget about it. Got to work early. And then I was literally falling asleep at my desk. Yeah. And I just went and got a COVID test. And I tested negative. It was weird, though. It was a weird doctor's appointment.

They made me get like a strep test like all this shit but like usually when you're going for the covid test they just give you the covid test and then you leave they were like asking me so it was like it felt like a real doctor's appointment once i got the vaccine i was told i'd never get sick again so uh i don't know exactly what biden's talking about with his bitch ass with his vitamin Fauci and the fucking world leaders. Yeah. All right. Ready? What is up, everybody? Welcome back to son of a boy dad podcast. Today is November 1st. It is 327 p.m. That is Monday. And it's the first day of no, not November. Shut up. you participating no yeah neither am i i'm i must

not yeah me too i have to not if it even if it kills me it's one of the few joys in life a nut i think that some people try to uh abstain from the nut and uh i don't know why yeah they do the corporal the corporal what is the word corporal The corporal, the corporal, what is the word? Corporal pleasures? Corporal pleasures? Bodily pleasures? Yeah. Well, I fucking, well, I abstain from the, like, one thing your body can do to make you feel good. It's also bad for you.

What, jacking your way out of depression? No, like, not, no, no, no, not, not. My man's about to beat depression. Not coming for that long is bad for you. Oh, I thought you were saying overcoming. No, I think both are bad for you oh i thought you're saying overcoming no i think we both are bad for you right i think if you don't come enough you it can lead to like prostate cancer really yeah that's like holding your farts in can lead to cancer yeah but likewise farting the cows farting is uh letting off enough methane to rip a hole in the ozone really that's how much cows are farting.

Imagine if Cumming was doing that kind of shit to the ozone. That's crazy. I mean, it's also because they're feeding cows only corn. Is that what it is? Yeah. Are they doing that? Corn-fed, yeah, corn-fed cows are like, they get so fat that they can't even walk.

Damn. And they tip over. I thought corn-fed used to be a good thing like a corn fed american boy like corn fed meant that you're like husky and like we're fucking six foot with blonde hair and we're 260 pounds no they also can't uh they can't digest it properly cows can't no so cows can't eat corn no they're supposed to eat grass really yeah so when a cow is fed corn they have to open up their stomach and like push it through the digestive system for them. Dude, if you spent—

It's just cheaper than grass. Did you used to be a farmhand? No. Did you learn this while you were out on the ranch out in Wyoming? No, I watched a documentary about it. Yeah? Yeah. I mean, it is fascinating.

Yeah, it is. Let the cows graze. Yeah, so that's why they're supposed to have grass. And that's why grass-fed meat is better for you, too. I had a grass-fed steak or a burger or something, and it tasted like ass to me. Probably because there's not as much fat in it. I needed that fat. Yeah.

Bro, you were paying attention during this documentary. No, but it's just a simple, it's a known fact. You were locked in. It wasn't known by me, but now it's known by everybody that listens. I know. Which is a lot of people. Yeah, oh my God. Like a million.

Countless untold numbers. A million per episode. The Sway House fucking, now they get around their fucking, their phone whenever a son of a boy dad drops and listen to it like a fireside chat by fucking FDR. Bryce Hall said he was going to retweet that link. He didn't he just gave it a like oh yikes he did say that he was like let me know i'll retweet it because he didn't have to say that no he didn't we weren't i wasn't so well bryce yeah until he got me sick

you should have worked for 35 minutes on that secret handshake that you'll never wind up using with him. I know. Just a chest bump and a tongue kiss. We'll dip into each other. Yeah. Yeah. He was cool, though. He was cool. But you're feeling like shit, huh? Yeah.

I'm on sicko mode right now. Damn. I'm sweating a good bit. Got a fever. Are you stinking? But luckily, old Harry pulled it together. Smell your armpits right now. Let us know if you stink.

Now I put the other one on before I came here. Because you were worried you were going to stink? Yeah. I stink when I get sick. Yeah. I'm probably, this is going to be, I'm like falling asleep right now. I'm going to be asleep within an hour from now. We're just going to put you off to sleep.

This is going to be a 30 minute episode. We should just do this like a fucking meditation, like a pre-sleep meditation that people can just put on and we'll drift you off to sleep. Just a peaceful, sick sleep where you have hallucinatory dreams. I had to cancel my show that I'm supposed to do tonight. Well, I didn't cancel the show. There's like nine comedians on the show.

You canceled it for everybody? Then you guys can perform tonight. I felt bad because I was the only one that promoted it out of all the comics on it, and then it sold out. So I was like, I feel like at least half the people there are going to see me. Luckily, it was free. Luckily, it was free.

And also, it's a very good lineup. There's very funny comedians on it. They're going to torture those other comedians when they find out that you're not there. I hope not. I posted a story. I was like, I'm not going to be there tonight, but still go because it's a free show, and it's a good lineup. posted a story i was like i'm not gonna be there tonight but still go because it's a free show and it's a good lineup there's gonna be people who didn't see that story who are gonna be waiting with bated breath throughout the entire show and then it's gonna be like fucking dude i was

so nervous that we were gonna have to cancel the boston shows i i was i was like just gonna not get tested for covid because i was like i'd rather just like not know because like dude it would have been a disaster if we had to like i mean it's i mean it would have been a disaster people have gotten sick before and had to not go to shows it wouldn't have been a disaster yeah but i feel you that it is like uh sucked it is also a thing that you're just like i just won't get tested yeah i'll just never know but i i do feel sick enough to the point where i was like i have to get tested and you did and i did and i did not have covid and you don't have cove it's just other sicknesses i don't think what the fuck is strep why are they i've never had strep i was like yeah i have a little sore throat and they're like so we're gonna test you for

strep get this boy to the hospital and i was like people get like i was like i got a sore throat like once a week yeah do they know your history no they i'm saying like if they knew your medical history if they knew that you know it's it was a city MD. But everybody's like, oh, this is going to be Sass's flu game. This this is you know, the flu game was. No, it was this time this basketball player, Wayne Gretzky, was fucking he was so sick. And he was like, I'm going to wind up playing in this World Series game regardless. And he fucking went out and he scored like three goals or something like that. Oh, really?

Yeah. And it's like his flu game or whatever. and people are always like oh flu game this flu game that they're called the flu game but my thought is like what if he was just being a bitch about it and like what if everybody else on the team also had the flu during that game they probably did and he was just the one who is like oh look at me i'm so fucking sick yeah what if it's what if this episode is my flu game what if i'm sicker than you and i'm just being humble about how sick i am there's probably a good chance i mean big cat and brandon are sick too and dave who i got coveted from yeah but those are they're all in high high risk groups though what do you mean like they can't be sick they're all elderly and overweight of course dave posted that thing too where he was like he was like can't take sick

days when you're the hardest working person in the world and then i posted a thing saying that i can't come in because i'm sick and all of dave's army is replying to me they're pissed off at you dude you're such a fucking pussy you do not deserve that position at the stool earn it earn your fucking seat you know how close you are to god in the milton days they would have been fucking pissed they would have been did you see uh that that leaked to salon that somebody uh from barstool how real do you think that was um probably not real i mean didn't dave's girlfriend post like dave's girlfriend like posted a tiktok with dave in bed like sick like visibly sick like he was like under the covers sylves did yeah no way on my came up on my for you page

damn so i'm assuming like that could have been just dude but what if she's selling information to salon not that wouldn't be surprised just get a little extra money on the side yeah there's make the money somehow yeah i watched a Yeah. I watched a show called The Flight Attendant. And the wife was like set her like husband worked for like a some like technology programming company. And she was like selling her. She would like take information off of her husband's laptop and sell it to like the North Korean government.

A flight attendant was doing this. Damn, she must have been bored. Yeah. This poor woman. And then her husband found out and then she ran away from her family forever. And then that's the end of the season. Dude, why couldn't she just be like a regular flight attendant

and have an affair with the pilot? I don't know. Why couldn't she just be normal and just... Well, one of the other ones was having an affair with the pilot. See? Yeah. Or maybe that plot arc was taken from her. Yeah. She was a very minor part of the other ones was having an affair with the pilot. See? Or maybe that plot arc was taken from her. She was a very minor part of the show.

She was like a side character. The bitch selling shit to North Korea was? That's a side plot? It was a very action-packed show. That does sound action. What network was it on? I think it was on HBO. I just watched it recently.

Dude, I gotta tap in. It's good. You should watch it. Flight attendants are on some shit. What did you do? Did you watch any Halloween movies this weekend? Uh, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Uh. Have you never seen it? Nah. It's spooky

as fuck. Sounds old. It is. It is an old movie. Breakfast at Old Fanny's. Fanny is a fucking, A a it's like an old woman's name but it's also a british word for a vagina oh really i thought it was butt so did i until i went over there no dude it's not it's vagina

any banny for fanny yes any banny for vagina wow yeah interesting you live you learn you really do wow what a halloween shit were you watching i actually didn't watch any yesterday i watched uh do you ever watch american horror story yes i watched i started 1984 which was like the slasher like ripoff season did it spook you no not at all i actually don't think this season's that good but also there was just a big twist

around like episode four so now i'm kind of a little more into it. Why? Because it just wasn't scary. That's why you weren't into it. I like don't like, I mean, I used to be like horrified of horror movies. Like I could, I could, I could watch like one horror movie and it would sit with me for like two months straight. And now I can watch any horror movie and it doesn't phase me at all. The only thing is I just, I hate pop-ups, but like, so it takes me a long time to get through stuff like that i have to pause it every like

10 minutes take a breather but after the fact like right now as a grown adult you have to yeah you have to pause a movie because because like especially a show like that like they thrive on pop-ups and also that season is like supposed to be like slasher films like which is all pop-ups i've never even heard them called pop-ups. Jump scares. Are they called pop-ups? I've always called them pop-ups. That's what it is.

Yeah, it's just like a pop-up ad. It's a pop-up. Yeah, it does pop up on you. But I can't believe that you have to pause so you can calm your heart rate down. It's not to calm my heart rate. I'm just like, I know it's coming. And sometimes I'll pause and I'll do the dragger along the thing to see where it comes to see where it's coming dude how are you getting beaten psychologically by a movie like this this movie's dominating you psychologically this isn't

a movie this is a show but you're buying in so hard to this show that it's like manipulating your emotions no it doesn't manipulate my emotions at all it just what do you mean it doesn't manipulate your emotions it was just like... Fear is an emotion. Stop manipulating my emotions, bro. I don't get manipulated. Bro, you're getting owned by this show. This show is dog walking you.

This show is putting on a dog collar on and fucking you from behind. I don't know. I usually like American Horror Story a lot. I've seen a couple seasons and maybe it's just

because I'm cripplingly ill. But this one's just not doing it for me. Do you have a TV on your wall? Nope. Why don't you get one? Actually, I do have a TV on my wall. But you just don't use it?

I just got one the other day, and it's on the side of my wall, so I can't use it in bed. What? Yeah. That's dumb. It's a tiny little TV for playing video games. That's dumb.

No, it's not. You were definitely one of the people that plays video games, and it's probably why you probably suck at video games. You were definitely one of the people that played on like a 75 inch flat screen i couldn't even get too close to it six minute lag on every single game just because it's so uh yeah i mean you play video games on a tv that's like bigger than 34 inches you probably suck explain the the methodology of that. It's just the truth.

You need a tiny ass screen to show you're dedicated. You need like a 24 inch monitor or anything from like, even honestly, like 34 inches is a stretch. It's like, that's why like kids coming out of the hood

are better at like sports. Yeah. It's like they're coming from more trying environments. Also, it's just like, if you play on like a big flat screen, it like, there's delays. It sucks. I also think that it's just like if you play on like a big flat screen it it like there's

delays it sucks i also think that it's just your that you have to look so far left to right yeah and you're too far away from the screen you got to be like one inch away from the screen at all times you do and you got to be playing on a phone screen an iphone 3 screen yeah the smaller the better i honestly i would ideally play on a 12 inch screen a flip phone screen that's even a thing you should just play on an ipad 24 inches. A flip phone screen. If that's even a thing. You should. Just play on an iPad. 24 inches is my ideal length. Of screen? Did I tell you I got...

We're talking about Davidson's cock right now? Did I tell you that they tried to rip me off at Best Buy when I went to buy this TV? Did you have to talk to the manager? No. I walked in and I was like, hey, do you guys have any monitors? And she was like, no, we don't, but we can order one. And I was like, oh, no, I'm fine. I was like, hey, do you guys have any monitors? And she was like, no, we don't. But we can order one. And I was like, oh, no, I'm fine. What about like small TVs?

And she was like, uh. And then she walks me over to the first TV she sees. And it's like 45 inches. And she's like, yeah, this is the smallest one we've got. And then I was like, nah. And I was like, all right, I'm just going to look around for a bit. I took maybe three feet, 24 inch TV right there, like 70 of them. Did she think you were dumb?

I don't know. And then she still like, you know how they get like a commission if they like sell something to you? She still marked herself up for her selling me the TV. For the big one? No, if I got the small one. And she was like, you're all set? And she was like, all right, I'll get you checked out.

Who helped you out with your order? Yeah. I love when they do that at like the van store. Yeah. Like how are you getting commission on the fucking, these $45 pair of sneakers that I'm getting here? No idea. All right, let me write you up.

Let me get my 35 cents commission off of this. Yeah. Do you think that they're caking off or is it like a certain number of sales? Or maybe it's like they have to reach a quota, like cops giving out tickets at the end of the month or someone gets fired. Somebody's on the chopping block from Best Buy. It could be that. They could have to reach a quota. I mean, like I think the thing is, though, like at a minimum wage job where you're getting commissioned, do you think they're probably getting paid under minimum wage and then they get commissioned on top of that?

Just to get to minimum wage? I don't know. That's what it was. That's like how it is if you're like a bus boy yeah the bus boys are so disrespected oh dude i was a bus boy and it's the worst you just get you just get like mistreated you get abused by all the waiters and waitresses by the waitresses and also just by like the system that you're not even you can't even make tips like the waitresses no no you get tipped out at the end of the night on some bitch yeah you know what get tipped out at the end of the night.

On some bitch shit. Yeah. You know what the best job is at a restaurant? If you're young. Owner. Owner. A young owner. Exactly.

Like a 16-year-old who fucking comes into a ton of money and buys a fucking Taco Bell. Yeah. Barbacking, though. Oh, yeah. Barbacking, you get tipped out big time. That's what I always used to want to do. But I can't lift a keg. You think I can lift a keg? I was barbacking when I was like 12 years old. Could you lift a keg?

No, I didn't have to lift a keg. So what did you do for barbacking? I just collected the glasses at the bar and washed them and brought in new glasses. So you're a busboy. That's like what barbacking is. Barbacks lift kegs. Barbacks are men. We had multiple times where we would have to go outside to the trucks

and grab a bunch of beer and bring it in. Yeah. Just a couple cases. A lot of cases. They wouldn't let you get those kegs, though. No, they didn't have kegs. They wouldn't let you pop the top on a fucking... Probably because you weren't strong enough.

They probably didn't have kegs, actually. They just wouldn't let you fucking... Now you could probably toss a keg like Magnus von Magnussen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like one of the dudes in the world's strongest man competitions. That's why you've been jacked is because you've been eating no i haven't i'm losing weight now on accident because i'm sick from since this morning you've been no i've been thinking i was sick all weekend i was like like i'm i usually have no problem eating but i was getting that

feeling where i was like even like thinking about food or like seeing food was like making me nauseous and i was like i'm coming down with something because this never happens to me and then i and then like literally like an hour later i have the worst sore throat you know when you just like feel a sore throat just coming on out of nowhere yes it's the worst feeling i don't like it but i also heard that uh when you have a sore throat it's like your body kicking the illness back up towards your throat and that shows that you're like fighting it that would have been trying to eject it from your body failed that mission really yeah you just swallowed it back down i felt so shitty uh last night and this morning and right now oh and is that true yes

no we i tried to play it cool i was like nah i'm overthinking this like i'm definitely not sick because i was like so i was like oh i have this stand-up show tonight tomorrow night and i was like i'm definitely not sick i was like i'm definitely just like nervous for this show and i like don't want to do it blah blah blah and then you're being a that's what i thought i thought you're being a bitch i was like yeah i'm just being a pussy i'm just a bit i'm a pussy yeah so then i woke up this morning early i was like i got all my jokes i'm gonna like organize all my jokes do everything and then i get to the office and i was like holy shit like i'm actually sick then i go to the doctor 101 fever damn did they do it rectally a little rectal thermometer straight up the dick hole oh you're burning up yeah your penis is literally

on fire i was like why do i need a catheter for a covid test don't worry jeff bait or dr fauci says this is mandatory now yeah we're gonna feed a fire hose up your dick you see that uh did you see that uh what's his name was falling asleep during the um biden sleepy ass biden's biden's sleepy joe was falling asleep during like some speech you see that video i saw that they i heard that secret service has to give him the the glasses that make it look like your eyes are open all the time and they just post them up with those now that's awesome why the president had no i didn't see that he uh yeah he fell asleep at like some some meeting what a fucking tired old bitch old ass yeah never be me bro i'm energetic I'm youthful.

And you never saw 45 falling asleep. No, never. Never. He was on too much Adderall. You think he really was just chomping Adderall? I bet he probably... Wasn't he taking a European Sudafed? No, that was before he was president. Oh.

Yeah, that was back when he was on... What's that show? The Apprentice. Apparently, he was just snorting Sudafed. That's awesome. Yeah. There was like some, someone from that show came out and said a while ago that he was just like

ripping Sudafed the entire time. And then like, as soon as the show ended, like someone would come and drop off just like a fuck ton of Coke. Wait, he did. He was sober. He was like New York sober for the show.

I only snort Sudafed, not Coke. Except isn't Sudafed like how you make meth? Yeah, but the European like recipe or ingredients are different. Oh, wow. You boys are on some European Sudafed?

Every time I buy Sudafed, they make you show your license. I don't even get Sudafed. I don't even know what Sudafed is. It's like a decongestant. Yeah? And you can get fried off of it? Well, if you crush it up and snort it. That sounds awesome, though. I know. I have done it before. Have you? Oh, yeah. Me and Trump did it after

we finished filming Apprentice. I forgot you were on there. I completely forgot. I was young. Junior Apprentice? Like Chop Junior? I need you to make a million dollars in sales today also that could definitely be not true but i heard it and i remember hearing it on a podcast but i bet that also i remember on the podcast them saying that that might not be true so you're just repackaging misinformation misinformation fuck it dude a little fake

news i know fake news for the crew i miss fake news. I bet that Trump still has incredible amphetamines from the 80s. Oh, yeah. He probably has the power. Dude, I... Or no, continue, because I have something else to say after. In baseball clubhouses, they used to have bowls of amphetamines that were called greenies, and you could just grab them like Skittles and pop them into your mouth. He probably has a treasure trove of those and has access to access to them at all times which sounds fantastic and fun it does

sound fantastic fantastic and fun don't let me derail your train of thought though oh i was just gonna say like i think the fact that he's not on twitter anymore and he just has like someone else like release those statements for him is so much funnier he was at a braves game the other night right you forget that he's like all over the place when he's not on Twitter. Dude, like the Alec Baldwin thing. Did you see that? His statement on that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. What do you call him? Like a filthy murderer? Yeah. Yeah. I just think it's so much funnier that he like has now us do it like a formal like press release. It's crazy. It's so funny.

What if his like social media is take over for like tick tock and like 10 years? Like if, what if like the natural progression of the next social media that everybody has to get onto is like one, one of his social medias. Yeah. I mean,

it wouldn't be surprising that shit could happen. Like what's going to be after tick tock. There's going to be something new. I think tick tock is going to be around for a really long time. Unfortunately. But do you think it's gonna be the thing? There's gonna be something new It'll probably be the fucking metaverse Yeah, probably

No, I think Facebook's completely done The fact that people are betting on the metaverse though As like a thing I think that they're just gonna whiff on that Like they're just assuming that the world's gonna turn into Ready Player One And that everybody's gonna be locked into the metaverse at all times. I think that's like a leap too far. It's literally like Black Mirror.

Yeah, that's like – It's fucked. How are they – or the fact that they're so confident, one of the biggest companies ever, is so confident that everybody's just going to abandon reality. Dude, people said everything was like Black Mirror for like two years. Yeah. That was like when Black Mirror was real big. I never got into Black Mirror at all two years. Yeah. That was like when Black Mirror was real big. I never got into Black Mirror at all. Shit was dumb.

Wait, one of your tweets that you just put out was like Black Mirror. Look at Mince. I know. I think we just have a live stream of The Office. I've been trying to not watch it. What tweet was like that? It was something about like, should we base all of our like. Oh was like i said that all my self-worth all of your self-worth should be determined by likes on social media yeah that's like that was just that was kind of a hit at myself because

my video didn't get as many likes as i wanted it to and you were feeling bummed out so i need to drop myself down a level you just nagged yourself i was kind of hoping that would be like encouragement for my followers to go like my video they probably didn't put the I didn't put the I didn't connect the dots I didn't realize did you even like it

I watched it live I just watched it right now yeah but did you like it I didn't even get a chance to I don't give a fuck if you watch it I smashed a retweet alright bro

thank you I bumped that's the least I can fucking do bro I'll fucking smash a retweet for the fucking dog I need that shit is that one that you

were going to use at I need that shit. Is that one that you were going to use at... I need that shit to get me right. No, I was not going to do that. We're going to prescribe you about 10,000 retweets and you should be good. Just drink a bunch of water and get those retweets and rest up. Some chicken noodle soup and some shares. He sent it to me after

it being up for 90 seconds and said, is this a miss? Bro, I know the numbers. You can probably tell right away. You can probably tell on the engagement in the first minute. If it's doing okay, it does like

1,500 likes in 10 minutes. And if it's doing real bad, like it is right now, much lower. Dude, the algorithm is manipulating you now. I know. They're molding you. Bullshit.

They're just ping-ponging your poor little sick body back and forth. You're just getting manipulated by horror movies and the algorithm. They're just fucking playing yo-yo with your brain right now. I know. It's not right. We need to get that fucking BetterHelp app open. Oh, yeah. We should get that BetterHelp app open, shouldn't we?

Or maybe use Quit. Or Quit. Bro, because I heard that not brushing your teeth is one of the main things about depression. Mental health, yeah.

How about mental health? Quit. Quit. Your plaque making you depressed. You know, swallowing plaque. Did you know that

plaque in your, or like not flossing is bad for your heart? Yes, dude. It clogs your arteries. Yeah, it does. And swallowing.

If you don't, I also heard that, uh, like when you brush your teeth, you have to like rinsing your mouth and spitting it out is almost as important as the scrubbing of the teeth. Yeah. Like getting all the extra shit in there. You're just keeping dumb shit in your mouth.

I've heard that. I've heard that. Like if you just read it was on the last Drake album. Yeah. Drake had a fucking version about it. That shit's facts. Quip. Quip.

That shit's more than you can handle. You better spit out your shit before you swallow the enamel. Good health starts with good habits. Quit makes it easy by delivering all the oral care you need to care for your mouth. Yes, that's a fact.

All the oral you need to care for your mouth. You know, a little play on words for the horny fans out there. That's an old Stu Feiner trick. Stu Feiner told me that he felt like he was losing the game, and so he wanted to connect with the young people. What do young people love? Sex.

And so now he talks exclusively about eating ass. Yeah, he is a horny man. A little oral joke in the middle of our Quip ad. They're fucking in touch with the kids. The Quip electric toothbrush is loved by over 7 million mouths. It's got the time vibrations, timed sonic vibrations. That's crazy. 7 mil?

7 mil, 30 seconds. That's like almost as many people that listen to our podcast. Almost. So that's why we need the rest, the other half of you. Yeah. Yeah. We need the rest of you guys. The rest of you guys need to go buy yourself a Quip toothbrush.

Buy some Quip so we can get singularity on the Venn diagram, broskies. Timed sonic vibrations with 30 second throbbing pulses to guide a dentist recommended two minute clean. I like to take my Quip in the shower after I brush my teeth. I stick it about six inches up my ass and I'll come.

I will come. I don't even have to touch myself. Quip is a great brush. I'm reading the copy. In addition to brush heads, Quip also delivers fresh floss, toothpaste, mouthwash, and gum refills every three months for $5. I like the sound that it makes. For $5. Shipping is free.

That is very accurate. That type of shit. Yeah, that was about 30 seconds. Shipping is free, so you can save money and skip the hustle and bustle of in-store shopping. With stylish and affordable electric toothbrushes starting at just $25, you won't be paying through the teeth. Bro. For a better world. Whoever wrote this deserves a fucking Emmy.

And also the fact that it's stylish. Who wouldn't want to step out with a stylish ass toothbrush? I wear mine like a keychain around my belt. I throw mine on a pendant on my neck. I have it dangling like a fucking Flavor Flav clock. It looks incredible.

If you go to getquip.com slash boydad, right now you'll get your first refill free. That's get, that's your first refill free at getquip.com slash boydad. I like to accessorize a pinstripe suit with it. I'll have it in my mouth like a

gangster would have a toothpick in his mouth. I'll just have a full Quip toothbrush dangling out of my fucking chompers. Fuck yeah. Spelled G-E-T-Q-I- Q-U-I-P, bro. Are you really? G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash boy dad. Quip.

The good habits company. Hell yes, bro. This shit is getting deep, my dog. This quip shit is deep. This quip shit is no joke, bro. I fucking love this quip shit is deep this quip shit is no joke bro i fucking love this quip shit straw straw you see in this in this ad read it says the items highlighted in yellow are mandatory and there's nothing highlighted in yellow in this entire ad read bro what the fuck is that bro they're trying to throw us off of our fucking game, bro.

That shit's not right, bro. Where's the yellow at? Where's the fucking yellow, bro? I fucking hate the color yellow, bro. I actually love the color yellow, believe it or not. Really? Doesn't agree with my complexion. Yeah, white people aren't supposed to wear yellow.

That's like a thing. Looks whack as fuck fuck where did you read that earl sweatshirt earl sweatshirt tweeted out and said white people need to stop wearing yellow i haven't worn yellow since that was like three years ago it's a fact i mean yeah it doesn't go with especially like a strong ass yellow maybe a soft yellow if you're wearing bell bottoms yeah if you're wearing like a mayan bialik hat that's flipped up mayan bialik is the host of jeopardy yeah she used to be on a show called blossom oh yeah she was also on big bang theory oh wow weren't you supposed to be on big bang theory i was for a little bit but then they cast you as young sheldon instead yeah but then the bag wasn't right. After The Apprentice. You were fucking crushing early 2000s television.

That was where you were fucking thriving. I know. I really fell off since then, huh? Well, you just have taken more. You're taking, it's one for them, one for you type of deal. Yeah, yeah. You're taking more artist pieces. Yeah, I have.

You're going to get in the acting world. Hopefully one day. You are now. I got an acting offer for you. I know, you told me. Let's get it in, bro. Bro, if it's not like on NBC or HBO, I don't want it. You won't even take CBS?

No. You won't even take an ABC show? Bro, ABC is full of libs. Bro, which of these fucking networks isn't these days, bro? Fox, bro. Yeah, right, dude. All those dudes are vaxxed.

All those fucking anchors are vaxxed, bro. You got to go off network entirely if you want to catch some fucking real news. That's true. That's true. We just got our Christmas party invites. Really? I don't think I was invited. What?

Bro, has Portnoy gone soft? That's some bullshit. I know Portnoy's not vaxxed. I do too. He told me he wasn't. I do too. Should we get, uh, what was the should we get them on the phone? Salon? What is it?

Salon, yeah. Salon? Let's get Salon on the phone and say Portnoy's not vaxxed but he's forcing all his employees to vaxx. Hello, Salon? Like, change your's get Salon on the phone and say Portnoy's not vaxxed, but he's forcing all his employees to get vaxxed. Hello, Salon. Like change our voices up. Like deep throat. Let's say that Portnoy's calling us into his office individually and giving us the vaccine. Even if we already have it.

He's making us. He's double vaxxing people. He's stabbing people in the heart with vaccines. Peace, bitch. people in the heart with vaccines peace bitch he's stabbing people in the heart like when you're getting revived when someone needs the narcan shot to bring them back from a heroin overdose he's just plunging it in like he's killing a vampire a fucking fat ass syringe that's kind of cool that we're actually having a christmas party this year though i don't i wasn't we didn't have one last year my my first year. Your leftist ACAB ass

isn't invited, the fuck? I should be invited. Why? After all I've done for this company. Building it from the ground up. Dude, you think you've done a lot for the company. I was driving up from Philly yesterday, the fucking boss man texts me. He was like, we need boots on the

ground in Atlanta, stat. Really? Were you pissed? I was like, no, I the ground in atlanta stat really you know i was like no i wasn't pissed call of duty duty calls babe yeah i was with i was with my wife on the highway and i fucking u-turned across six lanes like we're going to atlanta we gotta go to atlanta did she go with you she was like i understand but oh yeah we didn't even stop for food. We didn't even start for gas. We had like a... You guys drove to Atlanta? We had a refueling truck pull up next to us on the way, so we didn't

have to stop once. Did you actually drive? No, no. Jesus. You scared me. You can't be driving down to ATL. How was the game? You didn't even go in. I didn't go to the game.

I got there after the game started. Were you like pissed? Was it a waste of time? It was an extreme waste of time. I wish I hadn't gone completely. It was 100% a waste of time. Did Dave actually call you and tell you to go? I mean, it's something we've had success before at doing. Now, did you have a streak going?

Yeah, when Caleb and I go together, we've been to like six or seven in a row where they always win. Damn. It was a day, though. Just the team you want to win. We go to a city, and it's like,

say the Chiefs are playing against the 49ers. We would go to either Kansas City or San Francisco, and we would always pick the right city. So they were six or seven in a row picking the winner. Oh, I get it. So it's like a betting thing? Kind of, but I mean mean it's not like we're betting with our time not our our

money time is money oh and stop fucking spitting to these fucking people bro that's crazy so did you take the jet out there did you fly commercial i flew commercial i flew middle middle row like an absolute bitch damn really yeah and even hook you up i was like the last one on the plane dude it was fucking it was bullshit last flight out last one on the plane i was like skirting under like it was home alone that sucks home alone was a 90s movie where i've seen kevin mccallister gets trump's in home alone bro of course i've seen it um i we're going to we're going to boston this week on wednesday i know are you going to go on wednesday are you going to go tomorrow um i don't know what should i do i don't know what are you

going to do i don't know i got to record some things tomorrow i might go tomorrow night or first thing wednesday morning i wouldn't mind going tomorrow night and i don't know and i don't know either i'll probably go the amtrak's kind of a haul. To Boston, it's like four and a half hours. Yeah. That's whack. I spend too much time fucking in transit, bro. I know.

We've got to get the Acela. Self-driving? Let's get the Acela. Let's get the Acela. What about a plane? Should we get a plane? No. We shouldn't fly? Dude, if we drove, if we just rented a car and drove, it would be the same amount of

time. I would do that. Is that, are you spitting facts right now? Yeah. It's like the exact same amount of time i would do that is that are you spitting facts right now yeah it's like the exact same amount of time i could just go get my car bro we don't want to drive your raggedy ass car we want to rent a lambo truck this is going on the company card for sure no owen hey we're gonna need a lambo to get to boston oh yeah you've seen how chicks in the office are moving around in style chicks Chicks in the office has like a tour bus. I saw chicks in the office.

They had one of the limousines that has the hot tub in the back. I was like, what the fuck is going on right now? I don't know what's going on there. Signing titties. Yeah. Chicks in the office has 18 people traveling with them, and that doesn't include their fucking driver security or makeup teams. We just got our tight crew. We keep it small.

Yeah, we keep it mobile. Yeah. Just in case we got to got our tight crew. We keep it small. Yeah, we keep it mobile. Yeah. Just in case we got to get down to Atlanta. We got to at any time. You never know when the boss man... Yeah. I mean, we're constantly getting transferred. Babe, I'm not going to be home tonight.

The boss man needs me. Boss needs me in LA. Stat. Some kids are getting fucked up out in LA. Yeah. Boss man wants me to take some pictures of it. Bryce Hall just OD'd at Saddle Ranch. We need you out there now. Get boots on the

ground now. Bryce Hall just had a fentanyl OD in the hype house. Someone shove Taylor Holder. We need you out there right now to make sure that fight doesn't happen. Josh Richards just opened fire outside of Saddle Ranch.

The boys are brawling in Boa right now. Get the fuck out there. That's just the way it is. Doing a tour. Doing a tour out in LA. Dude, Josh has to be so fucking jealous that Bryce came on. Oh, obviously. That's probably what's breaking up Sway.

They already broke up, dude. And it was because Bryce is getting all the big time ad deals and the other boys aren't doing anything. Dude, it was so funny. I watched that. There was like a video of him ranting about like all their ad deals. And it's like, he's like, he's like, bro, like I got Walmart. I got Nike. And he's listing off all these like massive brands.

And I'm like, I didn't know Walmart and Nike were like signing with TikTokers. They definitely are. What are they doing with them? They're getting kids in the Walmart. Like, how do you do a Walmart ad? You're like, oh, it's got this water at Walmart. It's like they sell everything at Walmart. You know, the biggest thing that they sell is bananas.

Really? They do sell a lot of bananas. Every time you go in there, you see them. It's crazy that that's the most thing that they sell is bananas. Yeah. It's, in fact, bananas. I heard it's that and guns. And Blu-rays of National Treasure, too.

Yeah, true. They've got like the 17 movies for $5 deal there. Just a bucket of Blu-ray movies. I don't know if this is wrong to say, but I feel like the most segregated place in America is the like soap and shampoo aisle of a Walmart. Why? There's one aisle that's like clearly for white people and there's one aisle that's clearly for black people.

I would say the complete opposite. You go into Walmart, you see every single race that there is. I'm talking about what two aisles and i disagree with you now i'm kidding i have no idea i don't buy shampoo at walmart bro i buy don't mind i go to target like a man like a fucking alpha yeah i do i wish targets were bigger i feel like target used to try to be the same as walmart but then target just completely switched demos target's big still you just gotta go to the right ones there's like one target in new york that's like an actual target the target by us is like a cvs yeah

they're like little yeah there's like one micro target here like there's one like right up on seventh that's that's a that's a nice target but yeah oh my god dude so the first time i moved here and i was trying to buy a TV originally for my PlayStation. What size are we talking? 24 inches max. And I went to a Target and I had never been to a Target in New York City before. And it's literally the size of a Walgreens. I was so fucking mad.

It's not right. I had a breakdown outside of Target. I was listening to Elliot Smith sitting on the street. People just start dropping money. Dude, I went to like 17 different stores. And because I was like, oh, this is no brainer. I was like, I'm texting my friends. I'm like, yeah, I'll be on in like an hour. I just got to go buy a TV. You just can't buy a TV in New York. And that was like nine months ago, right? Yeah. And now, and you still haven't gotten back on with the boys? No, no. We played this weekend. Did you? Or no, not really. Cause they're all busy. One of my buddies works till like 2 a.m. every day. First of all, he lives in Colorado, so it's two hours back, and he's like a chef.

I love how people—do you just call it the game? No, we play Warzone. Do you want to hop on Warzone? Yeah. I love that. Well, no. We say more like, do you want to drop in? Drop in?

Yeah, or go to war. Isn't there some new shit coming out in like four days, three days or something? Maybe Battlefield? Some shit like that. I know there's a Battlefield beta out right now. I know fucking Emrags was talking about some shit. It might be Call of Duty, I don't know. Salute to those guys.

Salute to Mercs, I guess. Bro, Mercs doesn't work with Barstool anymore. That's why I said, I guess, bro. I mean, he's still friends with, friend of the program with MRAGs. No.

They still fucking tag him left and right on game time. But I don't, I don't forget how he fucking, that he bailed on us. Left us in the lurch. You don't quit Barstool. No.

Never on the straw. Barstool quits you, if anything. Exactly. And then you say, thank you for fucking letting me serve. Yeah. Thank you for my service. And you get then you say, thank you for fucking letting me serve.

Yeah. Thank you for my service. And you get shipped out to sea like an Eskimo funeral. They ship you off to Vice. They ship you off to Vulture. Yeah, they put your bitch ass on a fucking L train and send you out to Salon. Through our top 10 TikToker articles. Top 10 TikTokers who you need to hear about.

You need to get a load of this KB Lame kid this KB Lame so many like journalist websites are just based on lists it's crazy it's like what most of the quizzes now yeah it's like give us your Chipotle order we'll tell you your porn preferences

yeah yeah yeah it's like all that like BuzzFeed's all lists are they still doing that kind of shit? because I've really fallen out of seeing it Give us your Chipotle order. We'll tell you your porn preferences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like all that. Like BuzzFeed's all lists and quizzes. Are they still doing that kind of shit? Yeah. Because I've really fallen out of seeing it. It's just not as popular anymore. Yeah.

Searching for, I used to like have to search for, I feel like early in the blogging days of Barstool, you wouldn't know shit about this, but you'd have to like search for just like stories on the fucking internet. And it was just all dumb ass lists. Yeah. Thankfully I've been able to abandon all those websites like what's your porn star name yeah I mean that's

now it's just like people just do that on twitter yeah it'll just be like the last thing you bought plus the last thing you ate plus your real name your first name is your porn star name plus like street you grew up on yeah yeah it's like just stuff like that my dumbass does fucking like a list though I like a list.

We did the autism test the other day. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's still fun like list quizzes. How do you think you would do on that? Fine colors. No, Rome would definitely be like a zero. What does that mean? That you wouldn't be autistic at all. See me on the other hand? That's fucked up,

bro. Bro, I was on the other end of the radar. The other end of the spectrum. me and Owen was yellow to red wait why are you saying I couldn't be autistic bro I was orange me and Owen were saying I think it works better if you have someone else take it for you yeah an autistic person no like

because it doesn't really make sense if you if you do it yourself because you're not going to like be able to notice things about you. You're not going to be like, oh. Because you're probably like, oh, are you? Is this one of the questions? Are you awkward in social settings? And then in my mind, I'm like, nah.

And then in anyone else's mind, they're like, yeah. He's super. Yeah. But there you are. Harry took a nap at a party Friday. Oh, God. Crashed. He did?

Yeah, I did. Well, I didn't actually fall asleep. That's Shapiro's move. It is. I didn't actually fall asleep. I laid down. You read a book until you fell asleep. No, I laid down for like five minutes listening to Bob Dylan.

I was trying to get some better vibes in there, dude. It's like hard when you're like sitting at a party and it's just like... How does it feel? Yeah, and they're just playing like... I don't even know what a song would be. What music was giving you bad vibes? It's like Rocket Man mashup Who Let the Dogs Out?

Cause I'm a rocket... Who let the dogs out And I think it's gonna be A long, long time And I'm like The party was at the party Was jumping

Hey, P.I.O. I'm gonna get some shut-eye, boys Sometimes it's hard To just get the vibes right. Just a quick Edgar Allen Poe nap. I heard Edgar Allen Poe used to nap with a pencil in his hand. He'd fall asleep in a chair. And as soon as he dropped the pencil, he knew that he was asleep enough to have to wake up and be charged back up.

Yeah. That's all you need to do. Also, kind of a brag. You came back after like an hour and said you were just on the phone with Tim Dillon. True. Sobered me up real quick. What was hour and said you were just on the phone with tim dylan true sobered me up real quick what was he saying we were just shooting the shit success i need you comedy needs you sass wake up now we were just talking about like sketches he was talking about like comedy stuff whatever just uh you you left the party to go call someone who you thought was funny no i did not call him

this was he's over exaggerating everything i was on the couch for maybe five minutes everybody was cracking jokes and i went outside of the i went outside of the room and talked to him for like 15 minutes and then went back upstairs why don't you guys ever talk about something funny i'm gonna go call tim i did not call him bro i would never do that i would never call someone while i'm at a party the party was fun though it was like a murder mystery party shut up yeah i i had essentially zero role in it yeah i was i was adding to it late like i was added to the list late so So I all, all my only clue was like, I saw someone leave the party. Everyone else had like a whole like detailed,

like explanation of like where they were six days before that. And mine was just like getting crowd work off though. Oh yeah. I was, I was on fire. Were you, he was crushing. Oh yeah.

And you're, you were method acting. I was in the zone, bro. You're a bit character. I carried, I mean, I carried the game for sure. You're funny drunk. Yeah. Yeah. It was like zone. Bro, you're a bit character. I carried. I mean, I carried the game for sure.

You're funny drunk. Yeah. It was like that. What? What? Sasha Barrett Cohen. Some people's head. He did some fucking sketch.

I used that joke like 15 times. What? I said I was going to start waterboarding people. It plays. Waterboarding plays. It sounded like the funniest thing in the world in the moment. I told, I said that we like, cause we would rotate groups and I said it in every single group I was in. Oh, and then he was pissed that Marilyn Manson, this girl had an X on her forehead instead of a swastika.

No, Charles Manson. Oh, Charles Manson. Yeah. Well, I wasn't pissed, but I was like, you don't look like Charles Manson. Yeah. You look like a daredevil. And then I kept on saying I'm half Jewish. So I'm allowed to say that. If anyone can make swastika jokes, it's me. It wasn't even a joke. I was just like, who are you? And she was like, Charles Manson. And I was like, well, wasn't it a swastika on his forehead? That's one of his most noticeable things, that he has swastika attached to his forehead. It was his calling card.

Yeah. And she just has an X. And she was like, actually, before the swastika, it was the X. Oh, so she's at... Please. She gatekept Charles Manson from you? Yeah. It's actually his earlier work. His first couple killings are my favorite killings. I know.

What a fucking legend. Damn, I want to hear more about the party, but I also want to hear more about the autism test. Yeah, the autism test is just look up autism test and you can take it. It's like 10 questions. It's very easy and very inaccurate. Take it right now.

What do you mean easy? It takes like three seconds. It's 10 think what did you bang out and i'll bang out an ad and you do it did you uh do you feel like you uh like why did you take it because everyone was doing it it's pure pressure just everybody at the entire uh the whole party sass talk to us about roman and then rome can pull up the test for himself. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer,

but thinking about baseball doesn't always work. The folks at Roman, an online men's health company, are changing the game with Roman swipes, the secret to lasting longer sex.

Longer lasting sex. Sex. Roman swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed. They're effective, easy to use, and fast acting, but don't require a prescription. Roman can ship swipes to you in discreet, unmarked packaging, and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it. They're super easy to use. You just take the swipes out. You just take the swipes out of the packet,

swipe it on your cock, let it dry, and you're good to go. That's it. When I was getting on the plane, they were giving out Roman swipes instead of the swabs as you get onto the airplane.

The stewardess is... That's like a new thing that's going on. They're giving out Roman swipes and North Korean secrets. As soon as you get on, all the flight attendants are looking out. It's a fucking little package for you. Just swipe with your cock in the bathroom and you're good to go. Go to GetRoman.com slash son.

You can get your first month of swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan. That's GetRoman.com slash son. Thank you. This is the dumbest test I've ever seen. Yeah, it's get roman.com slash son thank you this is the dumbest test i've ever seen yeah it's really dumb some of the questions are like i enjoy like having friends yeah some of them are like i like to rock back and forth with earplugs on well that's like when you go to the doctor and they like try and figure out if you're gonna kill yourself or not and they're like so when was last time you tried to kill yourself and you're like uh never and they were like so when was the last time you tried to kill yourself and you're like uh never and they were like so when you do try and kill yourself what do you do like it's just like none

of the questions make sense you ever had that yeah like you go and you're like you're going like for like a med check or something and they're just asking you the craziest questions and it's like if you could answer just one of them no most likely all of the others will be no but then they continue to ask a thousand times it's like bro like chill yeah let me fucking want to kill myself no it's not even that like they're like are you feeling any uh depressing thoughts and it's like even if you are you're like no absolutely not never have i'm not about to tell your dumb ass yeah dumb ass yeah look i don't have to talk to shit okay my mom makes me come here fuck you i'll sit here in silence the whole time no how about i kill you though huh how's that sound i'm gonna kill myself why the fuck would i do that

fucking man i got my life i had potential you got fucking long nose hair and your balls yeah fuck you damn maybe you should get on these fucking meds. I don't even take them anymore. Pretend to take them and spit them out. I'm slipping them in your coffees. I don't have any problems making small talk with new people. Definitely disagree. I'll make small talk with anybody, bro.

That's what this is determinative of? Dude, I said that you don't have autism. You might be the least autistic person I know. Whoa! What'd you get? You haven't finished? He's going off of his compliment. I don't even know if that is a compliment, though, because these days, like, I think...

Yeah, I think you want to be autistic. Yeah. Didn't you rap battle someone who was autistic? I think most people... Why don't you tell us what you said about him? I learned a lot about autism for that rap battle. Yeah. I did a deep dive on non-verbal

learning amy schumer says autism is the most attractive quality about her husband yeah that's not like good why would she say that i'm like i'm sure people literally fetishize doesn't appreciate that hey you know what's most attractive about you? Your autism. Jesus Christ. Really? Not like my body or my face. My tuna can dick or like the fact that I'm a comedian. Working out like a lot. That's not a factor at all?

No. I love your autism actually most of anything. Really? Because I've been like eating. I haven't had a carb in like four years. I went to school. Quit drinking. Actively learned to be the most interesting person i could

i worked on my craft so hard i'm a family man no i just like your office yeah no i don't give a fuck about any of that can you just shut the fuck up shut the fuck up she likes when he plays a train simulator dude there's people who literally like will try to convince you there's whole twitter accounts or that i've seen people who i used to follow for like engineering shit like they were just interesting on other ways and now all they try to do is convince people that they're autistic like i heard someone trying to convince people that they're autistic if they describe things well they're like if you describe things well that that might mean that you have some type of what how do you say synesthesia or some shit whatever the fuck it is uh and it's like that

that which could be linked to like if you're very descriptive if you could picture things like you're autistic it's like what how how how are you drawing that correlation i think that by the end of the day they're going to cast in that so wide that everybody's just going to be autistic i guess that's why yeah i mean the same thing with like add and adhd dude you guys put me on this long ass fucking autism test. You're doing the wrong one then, because the one that we took, it took me literally 10 seconds. And it's impossible for me not to focus on this task, so maybe that's the test in general. General, general, general, general.

What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad After Dark. This shit's about to get raw and real. In this segment we're gonna take comedy to the next level have you ever seen an opened up pussy no i have not um okay what else bro what else happened this week halloween was fucking oh it was nuts. Owen, send me a picture of your dumb ass costume. Jake from State Farm. Yeah.

Please, dude. People love it. What is this, 2014, bro? I know, I had nothing else to do and I just had a red sweatshirt and I was like, this will do. Did you Google red sweatshirt costumes? No, I Googled costumes and then I remembered Jake from State Farm. And you already had some khakis. I didn't even wear

khakis you undedicated bastard it was a rough costume i noticed a lot of people were michael myers this halloween a couple too many of that you see that video of a kid dressed up as michael myers and he just has like some crazy ass wig on no so funny no he's got like some like john lennon wig on it It's just the wrong wig. Yeah, and his mom's recording it. And she's like, what the hell is this wig? He's like, I've never seen Michael Myers looking like this before. The mom is coming at the kid?

It's not like the kid is going to the store and buying his own Halloween costume. It's funny, bro. You gotta see the video before you shit on it. I'm not shitting on it. You should see the video before you shit on it. But this fucking dumbass mom, she planted a bad wig on the kid just so she could get a five-eye video. What I don't like is how, like, Twitter becomes, like, a full, like, ooh, look at my costume. I don't give a fuck.

You don't give a fuck about your dumbass costume? It's just a bunch of people showing, like, what their costume is and then, like, the person that it's supposed to be. I saw somebody reply to a costume and say manifesting this for myself next year. You don't have to manifest it. Just do it. Yeah, it's completely in your own hands. Just fucking do it, bro.

It's completely in your own hands. I was about to be Squid Games, bro. Dude, we had a guy last night just driving around our block just like blaring like a TikTok Squid Games like remix. It was like red light. Green light. airing like a tick tock squid games like remix it was like red light green light it was like dude like fuck yourself it was so annoying sneaky beatboxing podcast i was about to say we're about to turn into a beatboxing podcast where they beatbox no you haven't theirs is so funny and dude that episode is so funny. That one, it's like a cold open and they're just beatboxing in the office.

Dude, it's so fucking funny. Dude, everybody definitely used to try to beatbox. Yeah. I tried to beatbox in high school. What does Ders say? He's like, something daddy. Like, help me dad. Like, I forget what it is.

Are you ready, daddy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, are you ready, daddy it is. Are you ready, daddy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, are you ready, daddy? Daddy, are you ready, daddy?

And then Adam's like, you just got to watch it, dude. It's so fucking people love to throw our ear. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. I would have loved to be a beatboxer.

I feel like that used to be like a viable, like that used to be the coolest things, but it's just like, like like you can only like there's certain talents where like you really only can make it on like tiktok like that's as far as you can go you perform multiple genres of music this week well i always got i was i got mad genres dude i've been to beatbox battles i've been to like a live beatbox battle where there's like dudes in the crowd like who they'll like beatbox something cool and people will be like oh now it's like i mean it's like like you know what i mean like the furthest you can get as a beatboxer is like being famous on tiktok for beatboxing or like going on stage and i guess one of these battles or something like that do they still happen i think they do i think that there's like beatbox battles that you can go to bro show respect to fucking

scott jackson bro fucking show respect they're like it's always they're always doing it looks like they're having a stroke you ever see the the waiter who beatboxed for like an entire communion party yes dude that was so weird that was so it was like all these women and like these like southern women who are just like oh that's nice i just like have a weird talent like that and you're just waiting for a moment where you're like now's my time i think that there's probably a lot of people who are actually self-conscious about it but there's probably some just dumb ass people who have part of their brain missing who just think that anybody wants to hear them beatbox at any time beatboxing is something that would like it would be cool to

hear someone do it for maybe 10 seconds yeah like oh that's pretty good that was good and then never hear it again i also think this would also be cool and just like play actual music yeah i'd rather hear actual songs or them beatbox actual songs you're not about to make something better with your mouth yeah that somebody can make with the whole pantheon of machines and fucking instruments that people can make although the human mouth is the greatest instrument ever. But dude, I also never understood people who can go up to a live performer and start like performing

with them. Dude, didn't you do isn't that like how you got famous? But not like somebody who is like a street performer. That's literally word for word how Roan got popular. Like a street, I didn't go up to a street performer. Roan met a rapper after the show and asked him to battle rap him.

That is true. That's how he got big. That was like a big moment. But he wasn't like a street performer. He's like somebody that frees you up. What about when Matas Yahu sang with the guy in the coffee shop singing his song?

Or like Ed She sheeran i saw did that he like went up to somebody singing like a girl singing in his song i don't get that at all i could i would never do that if i was like famous yeah just be like bono or like like like hazy chris martin hey how do you pronounce his name hazy air hosier hosier hosier hosier hazy osborne the guy who sings take me to church you know the video like the super viral it's about gay sex yeah the super viral video of him singing in the subway like what what is he doing there i think he's just like trying to get i don't know probably made him trying to go vi-fi birdie it was like the most famous video ever exactly i think that

that's all people are just trying to get those fucking numbies up. I never understood that because then there's a bunch of people sitting around like... Did he bring these people with him? What are the odds that whole thing was staged? Very high. Very, very high. You know what video came up on my timeline again today? Jerk that thing off. I'm not jerking it off, bro. I'm rubbing the...

You know what video came up Of my fucking timeline that day You know what video actually came off Of my timeline was the Instead of giving them a freaking packet Yo why don't you get up and teach them Kids can't learn this way man You gotta give them a You gotta freaking teach them

That kid is the GOAT That was like we talked about that In like our first episode Once a school year That kid comes up That came up on was like, we talked about that in like our first episode. Once a school year, that kid comes up. That came up on like a motivational Instagram account today. These kids ain't learning nothing. You've got to get up and teach them instead of handing them a freaking packet, yo.

They're turning it into like a Pantene commercial. You think that kid hates that now? No, he's probably like shows, he probably goes up to people and is like... I should have been that for Halloween. That would have been a good costume. That would have been a good-ass costume. You see Buscemi was himself? Yeah, I did.

That was dope. Salute to fucking... Buscemi won Halloween and the internet. Hilarious, bro. Buscemi's the fucking GOAT. He was just pulsing up on his stoop, just taking pictures with people. Just trying to be seen imagine being that famous

you just all you gotta do is just walk outside to just engage a crowd dude you know who I was more interested in the person in those pictures who was like obviously Buscemi's age and I think he's like Buscemi's boy but he was like just sitting there in the background texting like he was like a rapper's friend at a studio

or something I noticed that too like how long do you stay but like how long are you like a hanger on for someone like that or like how how long are you just like the guy who's like around the famous guy or something like that do you think that there's probably dude i mean that's some people's entire lives so these guys look like they're in their 60s or 70s and they're just like in there probably like he's probably like uh like producer or something He probably does something for Buscemi and also has those tasks. And just wants to hang out and fucking text on the side?

I'm assuming it was probably like so if this gets out of control, we can get him inside. But why can't he just walk inside? Why does he need a fucking entourage to give out candy? Also, he probably doxxed himself aggressively by doing that. I know. You could easily look up where his Brooklyn hashtag their neighborhood i don't know i got your address

today i found it out oh no i could doxx you right now if i wanted to please don't it's a cool sounding address though isn't it it is i got it because uh some kid is sending us clothes and he was like and i was like did Rowan use our office address because if so it's that one and then he told me the address he used and i was like that ain't the office did you did you look it up no i didn't look it up anytime i'll be zillowing it later i zillow everybody's idea in my head dude i zillow everybody's address. I Zillow the apartment Friday night. Oh, how much was it? How much?

Because they own it. How much? Just saying. No one's going to know where we were. Was it over? It was over. Dude, this apartment that we were at was like the most insane thing I've ever seen. For the murder mystery? For the clue?

For the whodunit? Dude, it was- How'd you get invited to it? We knew it. And you know it's a big apartment when you get out of the elevator and there's just two rooms on that floor? That is. Two doors.

That's real rich. It was a massive apartment complex. Yeah? How big? It was so big. Estimate the square feet. What was the square feet like? I mean, how would you-

There was probably like, what, six bedrooms? And then there was a full kitchen. The living room was bigger than our entire apartment and then there was a full kitchen or a full like dining room with like a massive library massive table there was a library it was like it was like an apartment that like a coffee that like a a barista it's like it was like an apartment that like i've never seen you so tickled by a word yeah you said it perfectly in it of our stuff barista you said it hispanically i know there's like it was like an apartment that like one of the uh

one of the characters and friends would live in while making it a minimum wage job yeah just a 10 million dollar loft that you live in a fucking... That's exactly what I was thinking. So who were these people? It was like a friend. They were just boy dad listeners. It was like a friend of... What?

Or someone that we work with. I don't know. Boy dad listeners? Let's just say, bro, they weren't famous. But they had a $10 million apartment. It was their parents' apartment. That's fire. So they were rich, not famous.

Yeah. But the real estate out here? Dude, I was just zillowing the house from... I think it was bigger than Epstein's apartment. Stop. Oh, it was double the size of like Dane's apartment. I think it was. Epstein's.

Epstein's used to be the most expensive piece of real estate in New York, bro. Show some fucking respect to Epstein's. This was like near there. Show some respect to the goat, bro. It was right near Epstein's place. I mean, that is a very rich neighborhood. Upper East.

Should we just say the exact address? Probably. If it's by Epstein, these people were probably complicit. Epstein probably took the fall for them. If it's going on in their neighborhood. That's so true. Definitely.

You don't think that they were having little swinger and little, little real housewives of New York sex parties or whatever. Bro, this, uh, this breakfast at Tiffany's movie is just about the original fucking, this, this woman is just a,

a whore. And she just goes out on fucking dates all the time and just gets guapped up. It's from like 1959 and she's getting like $50 a date from these dudes. She just is like she's the original Alex Cooper, dude. She's just out here fucking caking, just owning these men.

It's Hepburn. Bro, you got it. It's some romantic shit. Alex Cooper's making the transition into motivational speaking. Is she? Yeah. Live shows? Big time. time no but she will be soon next soon she'll be like up on a stage one of those like thin ass microphones right by her mouth you know what i'm talking about like the headset but it's like thin as fuck yes like the like the testosterone coaches within a year like the fucking t guys why what has she been motivating i saw her one tweet being like hey like if you think that you had a shitty ass weekend because everyone else was getting slutty

on the timeline don't worry those girls were probably just getting trains run on them by some finance guys who don't care who they are and you were probably having more fun at home with their alias actually that was the start of it that's like a what if she turns into like a woman joe rogan like that she will she should i mean she's like i mean i if she turns into like a woman Joe Rogan like that? She will. She should. I mean, she's like, I mean, I would like to know how much bigger Joe Rogan is than any other podcast. Because I think he's at like an unattainable level for podcasting. No such thing, brother. Everything's in flux.

Can't be the champ forever. You can, though. Like, dude, I think he has like the biggest show Like on Like out right now Just of all shows You think it's like five times anything else Podcasting yeah probably Maybe not I don't know

Because obviously you can't see what it does on Spotify But dude like YouTube he would get like over Like four million views per episode And he did like multiple episodes a week What about uh what other like what other show does that pewdiepie back in the day yeah but his also were only like 30 20 minutes long these are like three hours long how many people do you think are getting to the end of uh probably like 30 i only i like to know... I don't even think... I finished one episode ever. Yeah, me too.

It was the Rob Lowe episode. I've never done a... Actually, I've watched Rob Lowe and Shane Gillis. Oh, actually, I think I finished the Shane Gillis one. Oh, yeah. Fucking love that dude. Shane Gillis is so fun. Fucking love him.

What's your favorite thing about him again? I don't know. He'll find out someday. I i know he's coming on the podcast i dm'd him one time and he never replied to me good and then i saw him at the stand and he was just fanboying it was embarrassing i had to ask security to get him away from me dude he would whip your ass i was like dude get this dude away from me and he was like no i wrote i know roan i was like bro fuck roan i don't I don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck about Roan? It's Assassin's Night.

He would twist you up like a soft pretzel, brother. You think he would beat you in a fight, too? Oh, my God. He'd beat my ass. Yeah, you don't want to riff on Shane Gillis because I forgot you Philly boys stick together. You guys are like a cult. Dude, Philly's the funniest city in America, dude. Boston had its fucking run, dude.

What other comedians are from there? Isn't Big J from there? Yeah. Shane Gillis and Big J are like two of the funniest. Kurt Metzger's from South Jersey, I think. That's not Philly. Basically is, though. If you listen to his accent.

More like South Jersey. Bro, if you knew anything about fucking South Jersey, you'd fucking know. You ever been to Central Jersey? Yeah. No, you haven fucking know. You ever been to Central Jersey? Uh, yeah. No, you haven't because it doesn't exist. That's a big debate in Jersey. Yo, who have you been debating with? I went, so apparently, I went to Central Jersey.

What kind of gun girl shit are you on, bro? Apparently Central Jersey is like, it's a big thing that some people are like, Central Jersey does not exist. And other people are like, it does exist. Dude, do you ever scroll TikTok and see people people are like central jersey does not exist and other people are like it does exist dude you ever scroll tiktok and see people who are like debate me about like people on live who are like debate me about this thing this thing this thing this thing that comes up on my timeline like rant i'll get it'll be like one in the morning people just list things they want to debate about i'm a democrat debate me people who are like sexually frustrated yeah with their

political opinions trying to become the next Ben Shapiro. They definitely are. Or the opposite side. So what do you think about this? And they just have some dumbass stats. Let me guess. You think that abortion is wrong. There was a lot of that during quarantine. When quarantine first kicked off, people were

really just dying for any human engagement. Just cornballs in their own echo chamber. But everybody thinking that they want everything and like thinking that they're fucking owned and everybody left and right it is fucking toxic but i'm just picturing you on there like debating with people about like is there a central jersey or not debate me no i uh i that happened when i was a senior going into senior year of high school or no, maybe I was going into college. So this, yeah,

I think I was already 18. And, um, we went to my friend's beach house in, um, or like he like rents a beach house in Jersey. And we were with his cousins who are older than me and we were hanging out and they were like,

can you tweet out and say like, do I have shooters in Jersey in central Jersey? And I tweeted it out and all the replies were like dude there's no such thing as central jersey damn and then they were getting pissed because they were like this we're in central this is central jersey apparently it's like everyone outside of central jersey does not think there's such thing as central jersey but then the people that are in it are like central jersey runs deep it's because people marginalize new jersey they make them into second-hand citizens because they either clump them in with Philly or New York.

Yeah. It's similar to like how like you live in Philly, so you think Philly exists. But like us, we're like Philly's not a real place. Us New Yorkers? Yeah. Like, dude, that's Pittsburgh. As a New Yorker? Please tweet out something this week being like, as a New Yorker.

Yeah, yeah. I remember like early on when like riggs had first moved to barstool he was like this is one thing about new yorkers and like a million people were like dude you're not a fucking new yorker it's just other people who had probably moved to new york from like fucking oklahoma like two months earlier than riggs and moved there just gatekeeping being like you're not a fucking new yorker i actually got in like an argument with some lady at a bar this week oh fuck nature's healing bro and uh well actually got in an argument with some lady at a bar this week. Oh, fuck.

Nature's healing, bro. Well, it wasn't an argument at all, but it was so weird. I was saying, I was talking about Hell's Kitchen, and I was like, yeah, it's like the gay area of New York. Which it is. I mean, not really, though. I guess. I mean, we live between like, or I guess, fuck. Should we blank that out?

We'll cut that. Yeah. Right? Yeah. No. I mean, you could easily say it is. Yeah, we got to cut that because that's like right where we live. Who gives a fuck?

What are people going to fucking show up? Yeah. If they're not showing up at Buscemi's, they're not coming to your fucking house. If they're going to let Buscemi live, they're not going to come and fucking kick down your door. We live in Hell's Kitchen, but blank that out anyway. No, don't blank it out, Owen. Keep your address out there.

Blank it out. Owen, do not. We live in Hell's Kitchen and we live in like a super like gay area. And I was talking about it and this lady was like, I was like, yeah,

Hell's Kitchen's like the gay area. And I like see her from across the bar and she's like, maybe five years ago it was. And I was like, what? And she was like yeah Hell's Kitchen is like the gay area And I like see her from across the bar and she's like Maybe five years ago it was And I was like what And she was like maybe five years ago it was And I was like oh yeah

I don't know a stranger yeah stranger I was like I don't know I was like I live like we live In between like like two gay Bars and it's like there's gay bars all around us I was like it seems like it and she was Like honey how long have you lived In New York for And I lied and I was like it seems like it and she was like honey how long have you lived in new york for and i and i lied and i was like two years and she was like oh okay okay you poor thing yeah

she's like so i've lived here my entire life and then first off bitch no you haven't she said she grew up in new york but then she like said some other she went to a boarding school and like she doesn't even live in manhattan but like also like acting like i'm crazy for saying hell's kitchen is like a gay area is weird because it is maybe it's not like the hub of like the gay like the gay is someone sucking your dick right now is there a man on your penis right now sucking it off because if not it's not as gay but it literally is i wasn't saying it like it was like a problem or anything. Like I was saying, I was just simply stating it. And it is. Honey.

I guess Chelsea is like the big spot now, though. Dude, there's like, like one eighth of New York is like LGBTQ. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Where are you getting this information from? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's.

Sorry, that must, that hurts for you. Piss me off. Dude, you live in Brooklyn. It's like two-fourths of Brooklyn is gay. It's like three-sixths. I was going to say two-thirds, but I messed up. That would have been too much. That would have been an exaggeration too far.

And it is. It's like one-eighth, right? Yeah. 12.5%. It's like a million on the spectrum. On that spectrum? It's crazy. million on the spectrum. On that spectrum? It's crazy. People are out here being gay.

Love always wins. Love won in New York. Until people start fucking gatekeeping that. Gatekeeping love. No, you can't gatekeep love. You know what you can't gatekeep? These fucking sweet-ass kicks. These sweet-ass Rothy's.

Yeah, let's do that. Rothy's. Men's sneakers. I wear Rothy's, and every single time, someone is on my fucking jock. Where'd you get those shoes? Not even necessarily a gay guy.

Though, at times, gay guys do enjoy them. Best compliments. Yeah, I don't dress for girls. Have you seen that on TikTok? Girls are like, oh, you're still dressing for men? I dress for the male gays. I dress for Enrique at the front desk. The male gays.

Big news in shoes. Rothy's is now selling men's sneakers and men's driving loafers. Even more big news. They just launched premium Merino wool shoes for fall. Merino wool is nature's perfect material. Soft, comfortable, machine washable, and sustainable. Looking good and feeling great just got easier. Unbeatable comfort.

Classic styles. Easy to clean. Sustainable. Rothy's men's shoes. Check every box. I like to wear them with some denim. I like to wear them with a denim outfit. easier unbeatable comfort classic styles easy to clean sustainable rothys men's shoes check every box i like to wear them with some denim i like to wear them with a denim outfit yeah owen was wearing denim this past weekend he was i could see the rothys being great on the uh with some jeans perhaps oh yes with some jeans they're good change of direction shoes i love my rothys yes

you're always wearing yours i'm always wearing my Rothies. I love my Rothies. If you know me, you know I love my Rothies. And they got accessories. They got accessories for men as well. I sleep in mine occasionally, yes. Wallets. Accessories. Carry bags.

Card cases. You know what I was thinking the other day? It's no wonder that the driving loafer in Navy gets a five-star review from almost every customer. Loafer? Loafer. And itar? Lothar. And it's 100% recycled materials. I mean, it doesn't get much better than that. Pick up a pair of Rothy's men's shoes before they sell out.

Forbes calls Rothy's men's shoes a travel must-have. CNN says Rothy's men's shoes are comfortable to wear right out of the box. That is true. To help you welcome fall season in style Don Lemon broke in with some fucking it was breaking news on CNN. We interrupt this broadcast

of the bombing of Syria to tell you about Rothy's. To help you welcome fall season in style, Rothy's is doing something special. That's right. They gave us the chance to share this super rare opportunity with all of our listeners for a limited time.

Right now, you can get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com slash sun. That is R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com slash sun. Head to rothys.com slash sun to find your new favorites today. Dude, there was a concert in Central Park a couple months ago and the lineup was like you

too Billy Eilish and Don Lemon what dead ass yeah that's dumb that's dumb as fuck I was at a college or where no where was I someone was talking about like they had a

concert at their college that was like Chris Stapleton and Chris Brown it's like why do people do people do that for like why would people have that at a concert it just doesn't make any sense to me to mix up genres like that yeah they don't know how to set a vibe already he went to was like john legend into pitbull into little wayne doesn't doesn't vibe bro The vibe is wrong. Was Lemon singing songs? I'm a sneaky Billie Eilish, man.

Nothing sneaky about it, bro. I fuck with Eilish heavy. Yeah, she's good. Because she's on the voice of an angel. She's on that depression tip. Oh, yeah. So is your boy Davidson. Bro, Davidson does depression like no one else.

Davidson is the god of depression. I was actually just reading something about him. I don't know what this is. Kim Kardashian arrives in Pete Davidson's native NYC after holding hands. Oh, shit. So she's in the fucking city right now. Shut up. Let's go find her, dude.

Set out the heat-seeking missile. Let's post a picture of us and say, come on the pod. Do it. Take a picture of the boys say come on the pod. Do it. I'll take a picture of the boys. And we'll post it live right now. My phone's dead. Oh, bro. Fuck.

Throw me your phone. Take my phone. Take this picture. Take this picture and we'll post it. Sometimes I wonder what we're paying you for. Fuck it.

Seriously. Not enough according to Tim Dillon. Hell yes. She's definitely... It's like... Depression's like an archetype right now. That's like... He's filling.

He's like the alpha of the archetype. He's like the number one depressed dude. Yeah, he is. No one's used sadness to their advantage like him. He's the king sad boy. And it's incredible. He is. He's very depressed i i i don't know

how him and kim kardashian like do you think they're gonna start dating or do you think it's like a publicity thing she's so like so like when he so he met ariana grande at snl backstage okay and i'm assuming he met kim kardashian snl backstage too so is he just like slinging dick back there like what's going on behind the scenes that he's just meeting all these girls his fruit by the foot dick yeah i mean think about the fucking they're like they're like pete we need you to get out change into costume and he's like oh shit my dick fell out of my boxers or he's got he's probably got his me undies on and those things just define the print yeah he's just slumped over bad posture and me undies his posture probably accentuates his dick

if he stood up straight his dick would suck back up into into his body does he have bad posture what look at the picture of him from the side on the roller coaster he makes you look like the statue of david he makes you look like a yardstick don't't talk about Pete like that. Pete's the homie. He's extremely the homie. But he... You think he's the most famous person on SNL right now? Definitely. And I think it's... And he's famous for his fame.

You know what I mean? He's funny. He's very funny. But I don't think that people are dying to see his sketches. They want to see him as a person. People value his depression. People like how his mental state is. But Kim definitely saw

her sister and Megan Fox dating a couple sad boys and Travis Barker and MGK and was like, I need to get myself somebody that's depressed. I need someone with fucking some tattoos, some dark hair some circles underneath their eyes it's definitely wavy they're getting all the good intention

attention don't you think it's gonna be weird when uh like because he's like friends with kanye who is p davidson there's that really there's that really little picture of like p davidson kid cuddy and uh kanye west like dinner together. Do they have an open marriage? I don't think. Are they still married? I thought that Kanye, I thought that he was the bull and Kanye just sits in the corner

in like a fucking very tall chair and jerks off while Pete Davidson bangs out his wife. Yeah. So they must have an open relationship. Yeah, I think he just likes to watch.

They're just voyeurs. But I don't think they do have an open relationship because wasn't there the whole thing with like him cheating on her with Jeffree Star? That known fact. Yeah, but they have rules. Yeah, true.

He broke the rules. No, Jeffree. That's the one rule. Don't fuck no one without telling me. Didn't he say that was one of his rules? I always forget what he's fucking. Rule number one. No fucking dudes. No fucking fucking dudes that's her rules yeah only i can fuck the dude rule number two jeffree star still

doesn't count you should have oh man you should have come down to philly this weekend yeah that's probably a good thing i didn't why because you would have got everyone sick because i'm sick as fuck dude i'm burning up so much right now you probably would have avoided sickness if you would come down to philly no you would have had a tomato pie i would have walked around i would have had to avoid dave portnoy bro because he got me sick yeah well you shouldn't have fucking swap spit with him you and dave shouldn't have been in the fucking boiler room for so long it's like brandon and big cat i listened to like half the act today i mean big cat sounds like he's like on his deathbed right now does he yeah it's just like

how he gets football season i feel like yeah true it is classic bc if you're not working yourself to the bone avery came with me on this trip to Atlanta. And to his credit, he was like a warrior. He was like in Nashville. And he's like, fuck it, I'll come. He's got a great attitude. But his attitude is so good that it's almost funny. Because he was like telling, I forget who he was talking to.

But he's like, it's just what you got to do in this business. You got to get up and go. Sometimes prove that you want it. It's true. And he was dead serious. And I was fuck yeah avery salute brother you do have to fucking go and get it yeah you do if you want it fucking bad enough you got to just be fucking sick you got to fucking give up your family you got to skip out on fucking meals and you got to go make some fucking content for the boss man yeah too bad no content came from it though fuck you're right um your shirt looks like uh one of the

uh jerseys from any given sunday i've never seen that i know i'm gonna stay fucking referencing movies that are just enough too soon for you this is gonna be like that that'll be like on the front page of the of the reddit sass doesn't know getting better sunday

what's next he doesn't know dave matthews man we need to make some tiktok content where it's just like what you haven't heard of every band i've heard of those song ones are very funny you don't know this exact song that i know they'll play like some super famous song and it's like step to the left if you know it step to the right it's like obviously they know the song and they like step to the right and then it just goes insanely viral or when people were like uh put dumping people into pools for not being able to sing like the next lyric of a song yeah dude that that video of that kid the um the kid with the green shirt on like it was like my sister's boyfriend oh with the eyeliner and yeah hilarious that video is so fucking funny and he's

got like a hundred videos like that and they're all hilarious i didn't realize at first that they were that he was just like a sketch dude that went viral like 16 different ways yeah and no one thought it was fake i do so many comments were like dude i fucking feel so bad for this kid like clearly he's fucked up oh no i think i'd seen this stuff before i dude i Dude, so many comments were like, dude, I fucking feel so bad for this kid. Like, clearly he's fucked up. Oh, no. I think I had seen his stuff before. Dude, I'd seen so many of his videos. I just didn't know that's who it was.

Like, he has the one, like, he has the video where he's, like, walking in New York. And he's like, hey, I'm walking here. And then the person comes up and, like, punches him in the face or something. And then he's got the one where he's, like, throwing a tantrum as his girlfriend's breaking up with him. Yeah, that shit was hilarious. Have you seen the one where he's, not the store one a tantrum as his girlfriend's breaking up with him. That shit was hilarious. Have you seen the one where he's, not the store one, the one where his girlfriend's breaking up with him? Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes. That was him too?

Yeah, yeah. Throws himself on the ground. That's hilarious. He says, what do you want me to get down and beg? Because people got fooled by that one too. Yeah. I think that is his technique. He like goes viral by making it seem like it was authentic.

Yeah. Or like making himself like a pathetic person. Yeah. Or making himself a pathetic person. Yeah, it's hilarious. What's his name? Gray's World. Gray's World? Yeah. Shout out to him.

We got to salute the funny ass dudes. Love. What a laugh. What a laugh. Dude, you didn't get invited back to SNL's party? No, I didn't. Did they have SNL this weekend? Yeah.

They had a great, they said they had like the best party ever afterwards too. Really? Oh, yeah. Did they have it this week? I didn't see any. Yeah, they said Gretzky was at the party, all these hockey coaches. Right. Why would I hang out with Gretzky when I could just hang out with Biz?

I thought you were into hockey coaches. No, not anymore. Fuck those dudes. Fuck into hockey coaches No not anymore Fuck those dudes Fuck the hockey coaches As long as I'm at Barstool we're never working with the NHL again That's a fucking promise We're never working with Madden either Remember that Madden sketch

Yeah yeah I wasn't in it so I don't know much about it Oh yeah it was actually funny though I wasn't asked to be in it I mean people here talk about it like it was the best thing ever created That almost like took the company down. I know. We couldn't put it out because we're like. That's how they made it seem.

Oh, we need to. Well, people were mad with, people were mad because they had to, because they weren't allowed to put it out. Yeah. That was the issue.

Yeah. Cause I guess we're, we're trying to, they're like China madness and we can't like displease them. It makes sense. I mean, doesn't, does big cat not work with them or no? Is the codes thing just like for fun? I think it's. Makes sense. I mean, does Big Cat

not work with them or no? Is the codes thing just like for fun? I think it's just for fun. Actually, it might have turned into a paid. I don't know. I don't know how it would not be paid. I think everything... There's no way he's enjoying just like giving out codes. But he probably gets followers from it. True.

You ever think of that? What was the thing you tweeted at Big cat today something about like it's illegal to bully people online it's like get it it's like apparently it's like going to become like illegal to like one up someone or something on like like ratio someone on twitter that shit can't be real now our problem is though as a show we are voracious headline readers and like we never have more than the information from the headline no that's all you need and that's the most fun way to talk about things headlines Headlines are fun. The stories are usually depressing. Oh, yeah.

It has to be really depressing. There's no reason to actually know anything about what's going on. Or just to know if it's real or not. Are they getting downvotes on Twitter? I saw that they were practicing. Apparently they have them on replies. That's not right. I do not want to get downvoted.

I would stop tweeting. I would just start posting Instagram It wouldn't be good for my mental Why would they try to do that For the people's mental dude Imagine posting a tweet And it

Cause it's just like I'm just gonna be starting Downvoting everything Downvote other people's Yeah Oh of course Upvoting my own shit Yeah

From all my accounts From your alt From your alt army I'm gonna start buying upvotes I don't need that ego hit. At all. What, dude? The Numbies is all I've got right now.

I'm about to start buying. Yeah. All you have is going 5-5 Birdie. That's the only way you can fucking transcend. What are the numbers like on that tweet you put out? Have you hit? 4K. Deez.

It's deez. I don't know. As long as it hits 10, I'm bro and fucking better i mean you put it on main don't put shit on the main account i wasn't going to put it on my main i was going to test the waters but i was like i thought this was really funny so i put it out it was i cracked up when i was making it people probably thought that it was a real audience and they're probably just taking it at face value they don't understand satire is the people's problem yeah it's a shame when you're just so much smarter than your entire audience yeah people just don't get the fucking jokes these fucking idiots bro you can't just put a packet in

front of a kid yo you can't just give the kid a freaking packet and expect him to learn you know you gotta teach these kids you gotta teach these kids. You gotta teach these kids. You gotta meet them where they're at. That kid is a legend. Probably homeless now. Oh, definitely. Alright, should we wrap it up? We, uh, we have these live shows on Wednesday. Boston, we will see you fuckers on Wednesday. Get ready to

fucking party. Shots, shots on Sass. Shots on me. Bring some doinks out. Sass will beots on me. Bring some doinks out. Sass will be signing titties. Bring blunts. Bring your freaking booze. Bring your fentanyl out. We're trying to die.

Big fentanyl party after the show. We'll drop the idea at the show. Yeah, it's a secret fentanyl. You buy one of our NFTs and you get a free ticket to our fentanyl event. It's going to be incredible. If you die, we get the NFT back. Yes, and we will redistribute it to someone as they keep on dying. It was one of Charlie Manson's early moves before he got the swastika.

We're going to be selling our workout plan for merch at the show. We're going to be selling our 10 Steps to Success merch as well. Yes. And you can buy our public speaking series if you want. Our TEDx talk. What happened to TED talks?

Do they not happen anymore? Well, it's just like anyone can get one now, so it's not very... It's diluted. Sam Hyde has one. Yeah, I was going to say. Who's Sam Hyde? Like a really... He's like an older... it's like not very like it's diluted yeah in the early sam hyde has one yeah i was gonna say who's sam hyde uh like a really like he's like an old he's like an absurdist comedian kind of he's just like super fucked up shit yuck like he has his fans blame him for every mass shooting yeah you don't know who sam hyde is maybe i do after every mass shooting they all everyone tweets and says sam hyde was the person. And then occasionally it'll get on the news.

There'll be a picture of Sam Hyde holding a gun. And they'll say this is the alleged suspect. He got a TED Talk? He got a TED Talk, yeah. That's dumb as fuck. Yeah, he's very funny. I just wish I thought of it beforehand. That's what I meant by it's dumb as fuck.

You've never seen his video, the weed one? Where he's like, sticky, sticky green stuff. Damn, dude. I don't know if I have. Bro, you're uncultured. Yeah, right, bro. You haven't even seen fucking Dave Matthews' band before.

And you know he's a Philly guy, right? What? Oh, I know him. No, I know him. Probably saw him at Healy back in the day. Probably fucking, probably opened up for him

back in the day. Also, i'm not going to be here next monday so we got to record on friday for next week you have to come in on friday where are you gonna be charleston i'm going to south carolina this upcoming weekend bro have you ever been pleasure little pleasure damn yeah bro shit's not right I like Charleston a lot what's it like I've never been

I heard it's historic oh yeah it's good it's colorful yeah I'm going to I'm going to this this debutante

ball that's that's at a former slave plantation it should be dope hell yeah no I'm not actually doing that that's how the girl

from the bachelorette got cancelled yeah and that's how the girl from the bachelorette got cancelled yeah and that's how the girl from the office got cancelled too oh Ellie Kemper yeah she's like just because my immediate family owns slaves doesn't mean I'm a bad person

so we're gonna have to record before then alright sounds good on Friday so we'll see you next week. We'll see you fuckers next week. We'll see you fuckers next week. And is there going to be anything from the live shows? We'll see how the live shows go. Probably not.

Maybe we'll put something up. We probably won't put it up, though. All right, thanks for listening. Peace.