Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 29 - Sas Got a Haircut (NSFW)
Episode Date: November 16, 2021-- Sas and Rone are reporting live from Minneapolis: reviewing the mall of America, steroids, rhythmic breathing, shooting guns, Gruen, Bryce Hall, & more -- Full episode also available on YouTube -- ...New merch coming soonYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad
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Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome.
Feels weird.
Feels weird.
What does?
The fact that you're finally letting your natural hair show?
No, this feels weird.
All right.
What is up, everyone?
Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast.
Today is November 15th, Monday. It's about six o'clock Midwest time.
So seven o'clock.
Currently, we are in Minneapolis.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Incredible.
Aside for when those terrorists destroyed the city.
side for when those terrorists destroyed the city. We did go by there today. We did go to the police station. I surprised Tass. I don't like how I'm just looking right into the camera.
You're like Bill O'Reilly. Look at me. Have a conversation with me. It doesn't feel like we're
having a conversation at all. How do you want it to feel like you were having more of a conversation?
I don't know. Maybe like I go upstairs and I zoom in.
Just do it remotely.
You keep on looking dead in Owen's eyes.
Owen's not here to save you. I know.
It feels like I have to look at him.
Why?
Just talk to me.
Because he's my master.
What are you, a K-pop?
Are you a K-pop artist?
So let's just get the elephant out of the room.
I got a haircut.
I got a haircut this week. Everyone's been telling me I needed a haircut. And this is what it comes down to.
It looks good. It looks incredible. Yeah. It looks way better. And I don't know how they,
what are they like layered out? They put layers or something like that. Yeah. My hair is naturally
very straight, so it's more of a perm. But you officially have what they call flow. Flow. You
finally have flow. Yeah. We're trying to get that Minnesota look going.
Yeah, exactly.
The hockey boys look.
The Blake Anderson look a little bit.
Flo from Progressive type of look.
Flo's L. Adams type of look.
Well, Flo from Progressive has completely black straight hair.
But her name is Flo, you dumb motherfucker.
She has Flo.
If we're talking about hair, this is more Blake Anderson hair.
Okay, it's Blake Anderson.
It's also Seth hair.
We got mics here, and one of the mics, he's got from time to time a character that comes out Seth.
So he just pops on a wig, fucking throws his shit behind his hair.
It's like, yo, bros, what the fuck?
That's great.
Why don't we have Mike?
Mike, why don't you come?
You do the podcast for me. you're so goddamn funny saskat take one person being called
funny in front of him without a whole audience we got a whole audience today then you're acting out
just because we got company you're acting over the top i don't think i am i don't think i'm just
extremely uncomfortable yeah you're on edge which we'll work through we'll get through that yeah
just have some more of your non-alcoholic O'Doul's right there.
O'Doul's.
Knock back your O'Doul's, Amber.
I just took my Zoloft, so I'm a little more mellow than usual.
Is it fast acting or long lasting?
Oh, it kicks in quick.
Which one did you go with?
The serotonin goes straight to your brain.
I will say that the most serotonin and dopamine I've gotten in a while was on that roller coaster today.
Yeah, dude.
I was just pure joy after.
We're in Minnesota.
We just went to the Mall of America, and there's just roller coasters inside.
There's roller coasters.
Three roller coasters.
Maybe more than three.
Well, three traditional roller coasters.
And a couple non-traditional.
Yeah.
I mean, would you call a Ferris wheel a roller coaster?
Would you call that a ride?
Is there even a Ferris wheel?
There was a Ferris wheel.
What about the Viking boat or the swings that go around? The swings are not a roller coaster. That just call that a ride. Is there even a Ferris wheel? There was a Ferris wheel. What about the Viking boat?
Or like the swings that go around? The swings are not
a roller coaster. That would be a ride. But what about the
Viking boat that goes back and forth? That's a ride.
Not a roller coaster? No. So then there were only
two roller coasters. No, there was three.
I don't think you saw
the light blue one that those guys were talking about.
No, I didn't see the light blue one. There was one that we did.
There was the green one
which was like a log ride or something like that.
A flume.
A flume.
Yeah.
A log flume.
It was a log flume.
And then there was another one in the back corner.
And it was light blue.
And that was one the people on the ride with us were talking about.
Yeah.
You were scared.
I was very scared.
I was sweating out of my ass and my armpits.
And you kept on making everybody check. You're like, dude, touch my ass.
Yeah, I had to go. I went upstairs and I changed, put on my new Gap underwear.
Bro, no free ads.
No, no free ads.
But speaking of no free ads, though.
Do we have ads?
This show is brought to you by DatChat.
This is brought to you by DatChat.
DatChat, the goats. I don't know why more people haven't signed up for DatChat.
I'm on DatChat constantly. You should honestly get one in oh i've been logged out of my that chat
maybe i got suspended no because the security is so good in that chat they're not gonna let
anybody get into your that chat people need to get that chat we are going to build such a big
that chat network that the people aren't going to know what to do with them we're going to be
able to start i'm gonna i want to get our group so big that they have to give us equity. Yeah. We want to buy into DatChat. They might have
to name it Sass Chat. Yeah. So DatChat is basically the number one app to send messages that you
wouldn't be comfortable sending on text. Yeah. It's encrypted messages. You can't take screenshots
of it. Exactly. Oh, I just got DatChatted right now oh really who was that it was the uh son of a boy that group oh wow what'd they say they said that sass is don't say don't say bro
it's encrypted you're not allowed to talk about what well yeah yeah you have to sign up for
yourself they won't know that that that uh sass is looking hung today sass has been hung all over
over minneapolis people can't stop looking at him all over mindy annapolis being like that dude's
fucking hung that guy's hung like a fucking Juicy Lucy.
So, yeah, basically you're going to want to download DatChat for iPhone and Android in app stores right now.
Go to datchat.com slash barstool to get more info and download DatChat.
Honestly, we're on DatChat all the time, constantly posting updates on there.
We'll just be the same table.
We're talking about naughty things that we wouldn't normally talk about on text message.
Yeah, you were talking about...
It's the perfect platform to get naughty with your fans.
And your friends, yeah.
And your friends, too.
Yeah, your closest friends.
And maybe some people in the Middle East, perhaps, exchanging oil.
Or just like tips on insurrection.
Tips on hot-ass insurrection.
Something wrong, Mike?
Making quite a face over there.
The oil, I didn't get that.
Terrorists.
It's a perfect terrorist networking app.
That's not what it's intended for, but it's good for us to be able to do that.
It's not even, it's more, it's just like an option.
It's an option if Barstool doesn't work out for us.
We are in the hotbed of terrorism right now.
Minneapolis, Indianapolis is like where the 9-11 people learned how to fly planes.
That's where all the police stations got
burned down. Well, that wasn't terrorism.
That wasn't? No.
That's the number one cause. That's the number one type
of domestic terrorism. Those
terrorists were more of a threat to us than
Russia and China combined. If
Russia and China invaded us simultaneously,
it still wouldn't be as
bad as what happened in Midian.
Wasn't Jake Paul out here during the riots?
Yeah.
Burning shit down?
Yeah.
Jake Paul was in a full balaclava, fucking wrapped up, just throwing Molotov cocktails through police station windows.
Yeah.
It was fucking sick.
It was sick to see that police station.
It was.
Isn't that fucked up to say?
No, but it wasn't because it wasn't burnt down.
What do you mean? They broke the windows and stuff, but everyone acted like it was
completely burnt to the ground. Which wing of the
media was lying about that? Left wing media or
right wing media? I think left wing.
I think right wing. I think they're saying
they're burning down police stations. Oh yeah, no, it would have been right wing.
My bad. Everyone's fucking lying about it.
Everyone lies. The media's lying. They all lie.
They fucking love lying. This is the only place you can go
for real news.
True, unbiased information.
I mean, if you've never seen the police station, you would have thought it would be burnt to a crisp.
Yeah, and it wasn't at all.
Just some windows were busted out.
Some windows were busted.
They could still be using that police station if they wanted to.
Dude, there was a taco stand outside.
There was a taco stand directly outside.
It's a tourist trap now.
Yeah, there was a line of dissidents fucking just trying to get their carne asada.
We went and we got some Juicy Lucy's, and then we were like, well, we may as well go to the police station. Yeah, there was a line of dissidents fucking just trying to get their carne asada. We went and we got some Juicy Lucy's and then we were like,
well, we may as well go to the police station.
Yeah, it was sick. What did you think of the Juicy Lucy's?
Good. I burnt my finger pretty bad
though. Oh, fuck, bro.
The Lucy exploded on my hand.
Damn. Is that the Juicy
or the Lucy? I think that's the Juicy.
But do you think that we, should we stop this pod and maybe
get some medical attention for that thing?
No, no, no. It's not burnt anymore.
It was more of like a flesh wound.
Fuck, bro.
It heals quick.
You just got to run some water over that thing.
The finger skin heals fast.
Yeah, it's the fastest part of the body to heal.
Outside the inside of the mouth and the base of the penis.
And the penis.
The base of the penis heals like Wolverine.
We know that.
We do know that.
That's known.
That's proven.
That's proven.
Dude, what did you think of the
juicy lucy juicy lucy was good i mean it was a little overrated like it was i could have had
like four of them because they're tiny yeah they should have cheese on top of it there's like
cheese and maybe some lettuce and tomato that would be dope all it had was pickles that was it
it was like a chick-fil-a sandwich yeah but it's still like a local delicacy it felt old yeah it was uh
it was a it was good though and they brought our soda they were like what do you what do you boys
want for pops and we gave us so we gave our order three dcs of course diet cokes and they brought
them in cans which is a plus why because diet coke is best in the can by a mile dude i can't
take you seriously it's not a wig i can't take you serious with this fucking wig it's not a wig i can't take you serious with
your haircut like this why because the fact that you're you tell me it looks good you have like a
blonde streak in your real hair and then there's also a blonde streak in this you told me you
liked it like this it does it looks dope but i just don't think that you can uh i don't think
you can pull off long hair like that i think i can i think it looks good you think are you thinking about actually growing your shit long no because i don't have hair that pull off long hair like that. I think I can. I think it looks good. You think,
are you thinking about actually growing your shit long?
No,
because I don't have hair that I could grow it like this.
What do you mean you don't have hair that you could grow it like that?
I could never grow my hair like this ever.
Why?
It just wouldn't work.
Have you ever seen my hair?
It sticks straight.
But if it went long enough,
it would just go down.
It would just flop over.
No,
it wouldn't.
I promise.
Dude,
I think it would.
It would start to look like one of the Beatles.
But if their hair grew long enough, they could get hair like this.
You'd look like Mick Jagger right now.
Yeah, and that's cool.
Kind of like split-ass a little bit.
Mick Jagger's actually a friend of the pod.
Yeah, dude, and his young son.
His son follows us.
Me.
Not us.
Yeah, he doesn't follow me.
Yeah, he texted me.
I told you, he texted me. He was like, my dad wants you on the pod. Should we have him on? No. I wouldn't know what to ask Me. Not us. Yeah, he doesn't follow me. Yeah, he texted me. I told you, he texted me.
He was like, my dad wants to go on the pod.
Should we have him on?
No.
I wouldn't know what to ask him.
I know.
I was like, bro, we are, we, I'm like, you're talking to a pod that just had Bryce Hall
on a few weeks ago.
Who has current beef with Bryce Hall.
He does, yeah.
We should get to the bottom of it.
We should like, like.
I'm thinking we should, we should like, we should like call him.
Bryce Hall?
Yeah, I don't have his number though.
I don't want to actually do that.
That was a stupid thing.
I'm going to get his number right now.
I'll text Gruen.
Bryce Hall, they're saying that I trashed Bryce Hall.
If that's trashing someone, I got tagged in something earlier today,
and they were like, oh, it was this.
Mushed the line, And the beef continues.
And then this is a Bryce Hall text to Marty. I mean, if he's scared, he's scared,
not scared because I went to the thing. I went to the, we were supposed to talk to Bryce Hall today on just explain everything that happened. Explain from the beginning what happened with Bryce Hall.
Okay. About two and a half months ago, we went on Bussing with the Boys.
And that episode
just came out last week
because for some reason
they held onto it
for a really long time.
And then...
Do they think that the episode
sucked?
I think they did, yeah.
They probably thought it sucked.
Yeah.
Did it suck?
I don't know.
Did that episode suck?
No one didn't listen to it.
No one's listened to it.
Maybe that's why.
It did well.
Did it?
Yeah. By their standards or by our standards? By that's why it did well did it yeah by their standards or by our standards
by my standards it did well i got like 20 000 views in like a day oh that's sick yeah um so
we were to record this podcast will compton who's the host of that podcast was like
talking about i want to do rough and rowdy or he was like we were like would you do rough and
rowdy and he was like maybe if the if it was the right guest and the right amount of money and i was like what about bryce hall bryce hall said he wants to fight in rough and rowdy or he was like we were like would you do rough and rowdy and he was like maybe if the if it was the right guest and the right amount of money and i was like what about
bryce hall bryce hall said he wants to fight in rough and rowdy and i was like and that would be
easy you would beat his ass right because will compton is literally so you immediately put smut
on his name you immediately put mustard on bryce hall saying that saying that an nfl linebacker
could beat a tiktoker's ass is not putting smut on your name well but first off
bryce hall is natty he's fucking no but he's literally knocks then i was like i literally
did research i was like i don't want to get my facts mixed up here i was like i want to be
completely on the like i want to be in the right on this so i looked it up he literally has publicly
admitted to using steroids so i said will compton could beat his ass true and i said he's on steroids true and
that's me trashing him and then he goes kind of i mean how is that trash is that trashing
i didn't take it like he did it there's no way a guy's like dude i said that he would get the
shit beat out of him and then he's on by an nfl linebacker that's not trash that's not trashing
him if i was like oh and then and then he turns around because he doesn't want to fight Will Compton.
If you said he wasn't a good dancer, if you said that he had mediocre dick games,
if you said that his fucking move is weird, that would be trashing him.
But saying he's on roids and would get his ass beat, that's not fucking trashing him.
Two things that he's, okay, he's admitted to being on roids,
so you can't get mad at someone saying you're on roids when you've admitted to being on steroids.
But he's natty now. No you once you take steroids once you're never
natty again dude but if you have like a little steroids in your blood no it just doesn't work
like you're like natty light no all the way natty it doesn't work like that so then when was this
what what's today so was it sunday or saturday saturday probably or maybe it was saturday it
was saturday it was saturday night he all of a sudden
he's just going on a rant saying that he wants to fight me nothing says that you're not on steroids
like a like a crazy roid rage tweet who the fuck said i was like over the course of like three
hours he tweeted like he was still thinking about it multiple hours later and then and he was like
he was like bro my bad i had such a shitty day i can't
believe i let this irrelevant puss ball little sasquatch get under my skin you kind of bodied
you there too well yeah and then and then i was like i don't care and i'm not going to reply to
it because like this is so insane that this is something he's that mad about well do you feel
bad that you begged him to be on your podcast no and that's another thing and then he's okay he
says that again when he texted marty today i never begged him to be on the podcast owen texted us and
said bryce hall's in the office today and then we were like should we get him on and i was hesitant
was i hesitant i was hesitant to have him on i was like i don't know if we was like his corny
roided out ass no i was like i was like i don't really think our fan bases are gonna like his
juiced up ass no i didn't say that. And then Ron was like,
let's get him on.
And then Marty was like,
okay,
we'll send him over to you guys after he's done doing most of the line.
So it was a very,
like he,
we,
they asked and he said,
yes,
it was not me like on my hands and he's begging him.
And in this,
he goes,
I'm just confused.
This is a text from Bryce Hall.
And dude,
tell the part where Bryce Hall came into the room and then went out,
said he was going to go get snacks.
But then when he came out, there was like a little shit stain on the back of his pants.
And you can tell he had just shit himself.
Tell that part of that story.
We won't even say that part.
And so he was originally mad because I think he thought that the busing with the boys thing was so long ago.
And it wasn't long ago.
Or no, he thought the busing with the boys thing was after he was on the phone.
Because it came out afterwards.
Yes, but it was two months before.
So he thought that you were a push to his face.
And he was like, bro, why wouldn't he say that to my face?
He said you were an irrelevant pushball to his face.
Yeah.
And so he goes, so then all this shit happens on Twitter.
I don't really reply.
I made a funny tweet, got like 20,000 likes or something like that.
Many more than any of his tweets got.
Shut up, bro.
So he was really the irrelevant exactly exactly and um and so then marty texts me and he's like marty mush from barstool he's texting
he's like will you come on mush the line to talk to bryce hall because bryce hall wanted to do that
he asked marty if he could do it but little did you, he was just wasting your fucking time. Yeah. So I was like, okay, I guess I can. And we go, it was today at one o'clock we go, it was me, Ronan Owen in my
room on my laptop, Bryce Hall, no shows. So who's the irrelevant push ball now? Bryce Hall, no shows.
And then he, and then after that happens, after he doesn't show up, I say the exact same thing
I'm saying now, explain myself. But you even were more, you even called yourself more of a pussy
on motion line. Oh yeah. I was like,
dude, I never said
I was going to fight you,
which is the thing.
I was like,
I'm not going to pretend
like I'm a fighter.
I said a professional athlete
could beat his ass,
which I stand by.
And then he texts me.
And you also said
he'd knock you out
in 10 seconds,
not 40 seconds.
Oh, yeah,
because he was like,
bro, I put his ass
on the canvas
in 45 seconds.
And I was like,
it would probably take
a lot less time than that
to put me on the canvas. But you did confirm that you were a pushball just not a relevant yeah irrelevant
yes that's what you take on bridgeway yes and um but i let it be known at the time that he could
get it whichever way he wanted yes we could get it on wax we could do it on a rap battle we could
get it get in or bring guns or we could have a shootout we could bring guns and we could have
the fucking shootout we'll make it dangerous drake. Or we could have a shootout. We could bring guns and we could have the fucking shootout. We'll make it dangerous.
Drake follows me. We could see how he
likes being followed with the Drake, if you know what I mean.
The Drake-o. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. Something like that.
The fucking, the Ruger.
We'll bring out the Lugers, bro.
The 22s, 32s, 44s.
The fucking 50 Cal.
Whatever Bryce Hall wants, dude. We want to have a gunfight with him.
I was thinking about replying to his original tweet and just like going all the way and just quote tweeting it
being like i'm gonna shoot you in the head with a gun but i was like i probably would get banned
from twitter yeah yeah it's more like a shootout i think you have to invite him to a shootout yeah
and just be like let's shoot at each other and may the best squad win you bring your five get
taylor holder and fucking whatever a couple more of the boys.
Yeah.
I mean, whose side do you think that Josh would be on?
Probably Bryce's.
In a shootout?
Yeah.
And who else would be in their squad?
Noah?
Noah Beck?
I have no idea.
Yes, you do, bro.
It would be Noah Beck and then who's their fifth?
I mean, I'm more just worried about if Gruen's going to be on our side or not.
I just texted Gruen.
I asked for Josh's number. He just texted me back.
He said it's 443. Oh, come on, bro. Wait, Josh or Bryce? What? You said you just asked for Josh's
number. Bryce's number. I meant to say Bryce. I said Josh. Well, we don't really have a way of
plugging him in on this. That's going to sound good. So we probably shouldn't do that. You're
sounding like an irrelevant postussball right now.
Well, I just want to explain the rest of the story real quick.
So after he knows you.
He says, what do you mean coming at sass?
What the fuck, LOL?
Okay.
Like, he definitely knows, bro.
First off, shout out to Gruen.
Just went through surgery.
Lost 25 pounds, bro.
Shout out to fucking Gruen.
Gruen's the boy.
The live audience
is giving him a standing o right there um so back to the story we can decide if we're going to call
bryce gruen or so after bryce no shows you got this after he no shows to mush the line
and i show up he texts marty mush and he goes i mean if he's scared he's scared
what what first off i showed up you already said you're scared and i showed up and you still showed
up and then he goes and then he goes it looks like i'm bullying the kid and his fanboys are
hypnotized think he's the king of new york like brother if you're mad that my fans like me more
than your fans like you like that's your problem yeah and then he goes
i'm just confused why he's talking shit not talking shit when he wanted me to go on his
podcast we're not talking shit we're just saying you get the shit beat out every single thing
every single thing that he said is wrong yeah we're not talking shit i did not we're just saying
he's on the juice and he would get his ass whipped okay saying you're on the juice is not an insult
like he is exactly right and that he'd get his ass whipped not an. Saying you're on the juice is not an insult. Like he is. Exactly. Right. And that he'd get his ass whipped. Not an insult
either. You should just give him a call.
A call. You said we're just, we can't
give him a call because it's not going to be able to go. We're not going to hear
it on the mic.
Really?
All right. I'm giving him a call.
All right.
This could be
the wireless
customer you are calling is not available bro he gave you a fake
number try again later what the fuck does that mean i never heard that message before
bro is gruen playing me i'm gonna call gruen right now call gruen oh my god dude is gruen
playing me because that's the last thing i want right now while we're in the middle of beef to
find out that he would be one of Bryce's five shooters.
I'm calling Gruen.
Call Gruen.
Oh, no.
Why are you calling Gruen?
Gruen, Gruen, how are we?
You give Roan a fake number?
No.
We just called the number and it was instant to voicemail.
Not even voicemail.
It said the number's not available.
It said the number's not available.
Text Josh.
That's his number.
That's Josh? No, I can text Josh if you don't believe me. It said the number's not available. It said the number's not available. Text Josh. That's his number. That's Josh?
No, I could text Josh if you don't believe me.
That's his number. Why would I ever have Josh's number?
We'll text Josh.
Dude, did you
look at Bryce's Twitter?
I see nothing
on Twitter. I just looked.
It's from a couple days ago.
Oh, what'd he say? He was like calling
me out, saying he wants to fight me
and all this stuff
because I said that
he was on steroids,
which I was under the impression
that he's publicly admitted
to being on steroids.
He has.
I'm really this way.
So why is that something
that he was so mad about?
I think he was joking.
Oh, no, he was not joking.
Maybe he's back on steroids.
Is there a chance
he's back?
Is he back on?
So now I think
we're steering this.
I think we need to get him help.
Oh, okay.
I would like to do this.
Because you're his boy.
Or you are a boy.
Which side are you on?
If you don't believe it's his number,
go to spydialer.com and type it in.
It comes up.
Remember when he did that to us?
Remember when we tried to prank call him?
Me? No, me. I always hear about him. when he did that to us Mike remember when we tried to prank call him me no yeah we blocked his call and he called us back on a we blocked yeah we blocked our number
Frank called Gruen and then he texted back being like yo what's up all right Gruen well we're we
were recording our podcast how are you doing though though, Gruen? How are you feeling?
I just got out of surgery, man.
Yeah, you're down like 26 pounds already, right?
I know.
I'm going to be skinnier
than Will Sasson in a little bit.
That's impossible.
How are you feeling?
You're doing good?
Yeah, it's been great.
Call me when you guys aren't
fucking on the air.
Yeah, all right.
All right, nice talking to you.
Enjoy, guys.
See ya.
Take it easy, bro.
See, Gruen's the man.
Shout out to Gruen, bro.
He's the fucking goat.
There's no way he doesn't know about the Bryce Hall stuff either.
He's playing us.
Bryce is in the room with him right now.
You think?
Yeah.
I heard Bryce was a surgeon.
Yeah.
Bryce is the one who put him under the knife.
See, now I'm trying to...
Now I want to beat some ass.
Yeah?
Whose ass do you want to beat?
That was Bryce.
He's pissed.
Yeah?
That was Dat Chat, actually. Yeah, shout's pissed. Yeah. That was Dat Chat, actually.
Yeah, shout out to Dat Chat.
That was Dat Chat.
Love those guys over there.
So where do we stand with this?
I don't stand with anything.
I'm not fighting him.
That you know that.
Why not?
Because I've said before publicly that the rough and roundy is the last thing that I ever want to do.
But you're bigger than him.
I don't care.
I don't want to fight anyone. But you're clearly bigger than him. There's no reason that I need to fight do. But you're bigger than him. I don't care. I don't want to fight anyone.
But you're clearly bigger than him.
There's no reason that I need to fight anyone.
And you're more natty than him, too.
Well, I'm 100% natty.
You're 100% natty.
If I was given the opportunity to not be natty, I would take it.
What if he submits to a steroid test and like a blood doping test and a lie detector test to say that he's always been natty?
And if he passes all three of those, will you fight him?
Gruen just said everyone in Sway was on steroids except steroids except for josh really yes he said that when we were
just even fucking teo even teo yeah no way bro how is he on steroids bro even fucking taylor bro
dude there was kids in my high school he used to take steroids and not work out so they just like
take steroids and just like lay in bed like expecting to just get jacked out of nowhere. Does it work? No. I would try it if that was the way,
but I thought it made you want to work out like so angry. Well, I think it depends on what you
take. Rogi says you have to work out angry. Does Rogan take steroids? I think he takes tea. I think
he takes tea. And he just like takes a ton of it. But be careful saying that. Do you think that
Will Compton would beat Rogan's ass? Cause that could be a good way to have him at you.
No, I don't think Will Compton could beat Rogan's ass.
Really?
Not even close.
What if they were just boxing, just standing up, no jiu-jitsu?
Maybe.
Yeah?
Yeah.
There were some kids in our high school that took steroids, too.
They wound up going to the—one of them got a better scholarship because of it.
Yeah.
He went to a better school.
I knew a kid who took steroids in high school and went to Harvard for football.
Really?
Yeah.
You could probably narrow that down
pretty well.
I think he's out of college
by now, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gotta still be on the steroids.
It is a good way to get into college.
Yeah.
If you want to get into college,
just take steroids in high school.
They're probably not checking for it.
One of the other ones.
Dude, everyone is on steroids.
Let's turn that off.
That's your fucking phone.
Every time I go to the gym, dude, if you look around, everyone there is on steroids.
If they're bigger than you, they're on steroids.
I think a lot of college kids are on steroids, too.
Oh, dude.
Everyone.
It's good.
You take it.
You go out, fight people, fucking spit in their mouth afterwards.
Go out, have a couple beers, break a glass over someone's jaw.
Yeah, it's fucking exhilarating.
Slip their throat.
Fucking forget that you did it afterwards.
Wake up the next morning, deadlift 800 pounds. pounds yeah you feel no hangover just repeat your recovery is so fucking
fast on the fucking roids it's any of your boys do steroids these fellas mike not these guys
the mics did you really no none of the mics fucking take steroids all the mics are all natty
yeah the natty mics.
I'm trying to think if any mics have any mics taking steroids.
While we're thinking about that.
Of all the depths of all the mics.
While we're talking about steroids, how about we talk about all birds?
Was Scammy on steroids?
Was Scammy off the roids?
John Shaw.
Oh, Shaw.
You know what I love?
Dante. Dante. Our boy who was on, he was on this website called buff and bound.com we just found him and he was fucking the running back for our high school football team
and uh we just found him on like a website and he was just uh like tied up getting tickled by
another dude no he was he was shredded. One of your boys?
We went to high school with him.
Bam.
That's crazy.
He was like a stud.
So he's a gay porn type thing?
Is that what it is?
It was more buff and bound.
It was more that he was just bound and buff.
Buff and bound.
Nothing really gay about it.
That's crazy.
No one from my high school has started an OnlyFans or anything like that yet.
I'm waiting on it, though.
This is before.
He could have caked off OnlyFans.
Dude, if OnlyFans or anything like that yet. I'm waiting on it, though. This is before. He could have caked off OnlyFans. Dude, if OnlyFans...
Yeah.
Dude, I was at a party one time
with some kid,
and I wasn't with the kid.
I was with other people,
and everyone was like,
yeah, that kid, OnlyFans.
And then, like,
someone sent me his Twitter the next day,
and he's just, like,
having, like, gay sex on OnlyFans.
Dude, OnlyFans gay sex kids party, too, though.
Yeah.
Like, you can't be mad at them.
It is true.
Let's do this ad. Yeah, let's get into this ad. this isn't messing up the focus of that is it that beer it's like well it's
an odule it's an odule is a non-alcoholic it's more of like a ginger soda it's a non-alcoholic
beer this is odules
bro you're drinking odules nothing wrong with that this is we're waiting on that o'doul sponsorship
it wasn't kicking you need to drink about my tolerance is gone uh yeah we definitely should
have gotten a mic for them but it's all right a mic for the mics we could probably get a mic for
the mics now no we can't let's. Let's just keep going. Alright.
As Allbirds grows... Come on, bro.
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You're not conveying this, but we actually like Allbirds.
I said that I like Allbirds before this.
You weren't listening.
You're too busy talking to people that aren't on the show.
They're on the show, bro.
If they're here, they're on the show.
That's true.
Have some respect for the other people.
You ever see Keanu Reeves carry the fucking bags up the steps whenever he's on a film crew?
You'd be out in your trailer just eating fucking peanuts, drinking O'Doul's.
You wouldn't be out with the people
fucking picking shits up.
I'd be in the Allbirds
with the common man
wearing some comfortable ass stuff.
Well, they're not only for the common man,
so don't...
Well, they're premium
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And that's what we really want to stress
about the Allbirds.
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They're better for the planet.
And I mean,
I wear the shoes all the time. I wear them every day. They're... I They're better for the planet. And I mean, I wear the shoes all the
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The worst is when I forget that they're on and I fall asleep and I wake up with them on still.
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Whip that hair out of there, Sass, and talk about Allbirds.
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A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S.
You missed the T, the D, bro.
You said T.
You said that.
You missed it all.
No, I didn't.
It's on tape and being recorded.
You put a T.
A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S.com.
A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S.com, bitch.
Do you know what that mean?
We got the mic up?
We got a mic for the mics.
Dude, sound off.
Let the mics.
I feel like Owen and Joey are almost like honorary mics today.
Low key.
Yeah.
Dude, into the.
Wait, is it really?
Speaking of Mike Groon. Mike Gruen's one of the mics?
Yo!
I didn't even put it together that Gruen's one of the mics.
I didn't even think about that shit.
Yo, bro.
Yo, why not even think about that?
That shit's fucking crazy, bro.
You want us to get a clap so we can sync that shit?
I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T... t why'd you why'd you why'd you fucking cut me off bro
i was fucking hitting a fucking groove bro so what else have we what else is what else has
been going on this we had a fucking music video shoot this past oh yeah that was very fun that
shit will wind up coming out yeah that was your first time holding a gun and dude you've had a
bloodlust in your eyes since then a pal palpable bloodlust. We asked, we wanted to go shooting today,
but Ron pussied out. I felt like I was like, I felt like something like a scenario where like,
I asked my dad to do something. He's like, yeah. And then like in the back,
you can see in the back of his head, like, we're not going. Me and Olin were like, yeah,
let's go shooting. And Ron was like, yeah, for sure. And then he's like, we're going to go to
the airport to pick up Mike real quick.
No, I took us to the police station that got burned down.
And I thought that that was a little bit more Minnesota-centric.
We wanted to shoot.
Also, you've never shot before.
I've been shooting.
You're trying to scratch your itch.
Which is why we wanted to.
You're making it sound like I don't let the fuck off.
We had like four hours to kill.
You're making it sound like I don't let that thing off.
We had four hours to kill.
There was a gun range seven miles away.
I was like, let's go shoot. And then
Rome was like too much of a pussy to do it.
We also looked it up and you're too
young to even fucking have ammunition. That's literally
not true. To buy ammunition.
You could shoot blanks. You were allowed to like
shoot blanks. You would buy the ammunition
for me. And just give it to you
right in front of them? Yes. That's how it works.
They literally said you can go shooting
if you're
eight years old. With your parents? As long as you
just have a parent. Have you a parent?
Eight. I'm not your parent.
I'm 20 years old and you think I can't
go shooting? I don't think you can, bro. And I'm not
going to fucking lie for you again, bro. I've seen
what's happened with your IDs. I'm tired of fucking lying
for you, trying to fucking break the law for you,
dude. How about I buy a gun and I
shoot you in the head? How about we fucking buy a shoot bryce hall and his fucking no no no and then fucking
shoot one another bryce is the homie bro it's all love it's all love with bryce oh wow you are an
irrelevant puss boy you are not one to go to war with take that back bro no i'm not one i don't
like getting in controversy yeah i, I know you don't.
Let's get this guy
another O'Doul
so he can get towards
a little bit more controversy.
I would like to pee
at some point,
but I'm going to hold it for now.
Oh, here's one right here.
Here, here.
We got a fresh O'Doul's for him.
What are you laughing at, bro?
Look at your giggly ass, bro.
The O'Doul's makes him bubbly.
I know.
Here's a little giggly off of it with it when he mixes up with the the ativan and the o'douls no i'm off the ativans bro yeah i know you're off the ativan last night i took my i take ativan
when i fly and that's only the same one time i take it because it's addictive so i don't want
to get addicted to it and it was like seven hours later i had like one beer and it was like the most gross and
uncomfortable i've ever felt like i couldn't even like stand up i was swaying he was stumbling out
i told ron i almost cried when i went back to my room so i was so uncomfortable i was like i need
to get out of this feeling make it get normal yeah exactly like the night i tried the joint
and almost died and i woke up this morning feeling good as new.
Went to the gym.
Rome wasn't there.
I was.
Bro, the text.
I was there at 845.
The text proved it.
You were there at 12 o'clock when you had just woken up.
You need to start waking up earlier and you need to start making your bed.
Even when you're in a hotel.
Just start making your bed.
It'll give you a sense of accomplishment at the beginning of the day.
It'll make your shit seem more like put together.
I am never making my bed.
Dude, you have to. I literally don make your shit seem more like never my bed dude
you have to i literally don't know the last time i made my it's literally why you've got depression
because you don't make your bed i'm not depressed you're bipolar my bed i've never been happier in
my entire life it's because you're off the fucking van right now no i'm not you're looping off
which i have to take to keep sane. Can you drink on the loft?
Mm-hmm.
The Z-loft?
Well, you can drink O'Doul's with any medication.
Yeah.
What is it, 0.5%?
I think it's 0.05.
This one tastes bad, though.
Is O'Doul's a skunk?
This shit is...
No, no, bro.
You can't fucking...
When the O'Doul's is red, you know that shit's good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When the eagle on the O'Doul's can't show no red.
I remember the first time I ever had beer.
Regale me, my child.
The first time I ever had a beer, I was, I think I was in eighth grade.
Talk to me, brother.
I was in eighth grade, and we had a porch at my old house with a mini fridge in it where
my dad would keep a bunch of beer. I don't know what that means. Like a Porsche? No, a porch at my old house with a mini fridge in it where my dad had a bunch of beer.
I don't know what that means. Like a Porsche? No, a porch. Oh. And there was a mini fridge in it
where my dad would keep like all the beers from people would come over and we'd sit out there.
And it was the summer or yeah, it was like the spring after the winter and he never cleaned
out the fridge. So there's a bunch of beers in there still and i went down and the beers were
like unopened but they were like down to here and i was like oh that's so weird but like i didn't
know i didn't think anything of it and i took a sip and it was like the most foul like they were
so skunked and it was like the gross thing i've ever had in my entire life but how did you even
know how would you know so i didn't know i didn't know at the time. It gets worse.
The story gets worse.
It already sounds pretty shitty. It was
pretty shitty. And then I was so young
and I was so excited by the drinking
and all that shit. So I took
the beer and I was like, well, I'm not going to finish this right now.
And I poured it into a water bottle and
capped it up and I threw it under my bed
and I kept it there for two years.
Two years? Dude, I was ready to show up to a party with that in my hand and be like threw it under my bed and i kept there for like two years years dude i was
like ready to like show up to a party with that with that in my hand and be like yo go pass this
shit around bro i had it in my i had it in my room for so long it probably fermented more though it's
probably like the toilet wine that they make in prison yeah and eventually i poured it down the
toilet and i remember the smell just being like oh so like burning my nostrils your
parents probably thought you were drinking like whenever you pour like beer down uh like a sink
or whatever it still smells yeah the whole bathroom yeah yeah little did they know that you were just
disposing of your old like piss beer yeah yeah you should have brought it around good shit though
yeah bro fucking i love beer bro beer's tight I can't fucking stop drinking that shit. That brings us into our next sponsor of the podcast, beer.
God damn, do I love that shit, man.
Good.
Beer.
Good.
Ever get tired of your wife fucking nagging you?
You're sitting in your easy chair and you just need to cut some fucking steam off.
You need to fucking kick back and relax in your lazy boy.
Pair that with a beer.
Never mind my bed.
What were you about to look up?
The ad read for beer?
No, we have similar names in the ads today, which threw me off for a second, but we're all good.
We're good to go.
That shit's disconcerting.
What did you think of the house
we brought you to
in Minnesota yesterday?
It was awesome.
Did those kids just all live there?
Yeah.
Did their parents live there or no?
No, they're just like young dudes
who have a fucking sweet house.
That was a nice ass house.
Yeah, just imagine living
anywhere other than New York.
Yeah, yeah.
I was going to say their rent's
probably like $400 a month.
They had a sprawling man cave basement
with like three TVs.
Their rooms were all huge too. I took a piss in one of those
rooms. Yeah. Not on the floor
but like in his bathroom. Dude, everybody
did you find them to be Minnesota
nice? Like people always talk about Minnesota
nice. I thought they were nice. We were only there
for like 10 minutes so I can't really say.
I think that Minnesota people kind of overstate
how fucking nice they are. That's how the Midwest is
though. That they're like, oh, we're so fucking
nice. Yeah, yeah. It's like, then why are you bra bragging about it why do you have to tell me all the fucking time how nice
you are in massachusetts if you walk by someone on the street or like you drive or like you're
like you're like or you're like walking down like a neighborhood road and a car passes they like
wave at you in the midwest if you're if you're like walking past someone they just yeah they're
not nice no they're not nice the whole idea that was wisconsin specifically that i'm referring to
when i say that but i think that's just a way of people from the midwest to like insulate themselves
from like the big bad cities yeah and they're just like oh the people in the cities are so mean
and like we're nice out here just because like people in the cities are like in a rush or like
they feel uncomfortable or don't know where to do when like everybody's like walking fast around yeah dude
you're not fucking nice me no the midwest people you're not either though you think you're nice
i don't think i'm mean but do you think you're nice yeah do you ever try to be nice what's the
last nice thing you did i don't know what was last night what was last nice thing you did pick
the boys up from the airport when they could have got an Uber.
Come on, bro.
That was because you didn't want to spend time with me and Owen.
No, bro.
I would have shot guns.
I'll shoot guns with all the boys tomorrow.
I picked the boys up.
You know what would have been a nice thing?
If you took a shooting.
I would have said, you know what?
Rowan's a nice guy for doing this for us.
Let's fucking let that thing off.
What was the last nice thing I did?
I can't even.
That's what I'm saying, bro. Have you ever been
nice before?
I feel like I've done nice things
in my lifetime. I don't know
if you have. Can you guys think
of a time that Harry's ever been nice before?
I think Harry's kind of not.
He's not nice. He's not a nice
guy. Bro, what do you mean?
You treat us like
the hell, man.
He does. He won't make any eye contact take that back you don't mean that you treat everybody like that you don't mean that shit i'll just be like but he won't make he'll be like clean this up he
won't make eye contact he's like nikki minaj you ever hear the stories about like people
waitresses trying to make eye contact with nikki minaj and like'll be at Cheesecake Factory and be like, fire that woman.
She just looked me in my eye when I was ordering.
I held your hand on the roller coaster today when you were scared.
I held your hand.
No.
No, I was holding your hand.
No.
You were screaming way louder than I was.
I was screaming.
It was fun.
It's fun to scream in a scenario like that.
We were both screaming.
Yeah, it was awesome.
And we were on with two random dudes.
And they were just like straight-faced.
They were like, yeah, we do this one at least three times a week.
They're just reading a book.
They were giddy
to be on that thing though.
They liked it.
Yeah.
The boys were screaming too.
See if we can splice in
the video of the boys
screaming.
Of Obes screaming.
Yeah, it's hilarious.
I mean, it's fun
to scream on a roller coaster.
It's one of the only times
a grown man can scream.
You don't get to let loose
like that often.
The other times though.
Except when you're having
a good old duel.
The best times, actually the only times you get to scream in new york are like when you're
underneath the train tracks or when the train's going by you ever do that just like oh under no
because i where we live there is no underneath the train tracks dude you have to try it
these in brooklyn are the trains above there's some some. Damn, that's cool. It's fucking sick, bro.
You ever scream?
You probably have never even used your entire voice.
Yeah, I screamed.
You like stay in an inside voice.
You like whisper scream.
Trying to think of the last time I screamed.
You don't scream.
You're not nice to people.
You're living a half existence.
Dude, saying when was the last time you've been nice is like a hard Oh, you know what was nice that I did?
I watched a bunch of war movies and I texted
my grandparents and said I recommended the movies to them.
Say like war movies. That's a nice
thing to do. Text them at like
1am.
I said, hey guys, don't know if you guys
still watch war movies, but you should check out these movies.
At what time?
One in the morning. So
when they were asleep? Yeah, and they responded in the morning. They when they were asleep yeah and they were ponded
they responded in the morning they were like very they were like we still love war movies thank you
so much really yes they're like you're the best grandson of all time i thought you don't talk to
your grandma no this is my grandma that i do talk to did you ever hear the story that he passed his
grandma in the street in new york it's not a good story. He didn't know it was her. He called up his dad and was like,
I think I just passed grandma in New York.
He just doesn't know his own grandma.
It's not weird at all.
It would make sense for her to do it
if you were wearing a set wig.
Or maybe she was losing her memory
as some people do with their age.
She didn't know it was me
since I've gotten the hair.
The luscious locks.
This is going to be a good episode
that people should watch.
Yeah, this is,
this shit is very visual.
Yeah, very visual.
Like, if you're listening,
you have to snap over.
Yeah, we're going to be doing
some, like, physical stuff.
Wait, and Obes,
Obes, come around
and show them the pink hair, bro.
Just come around
and just show off.
Yeah, show them the pink hair.
I feel like the pink hair
makes it,
the pink hair plays.
Bro, look at this shit, bro.
Yeah, when did you dye your hair pink?
I use a razor to take off the edge.
It's too good.
All right.
You know what I also like that's not all birds.
I'm crazy.
But it kind of sounds like all birds.
It's bird dogs.
Cut that part out. Don't even associate the two. They can be. But it kind of sounds like Auburn. It's bird dogs. Cut that part out.
Don't even associate the two.
They can be their own companies.
No, they're not.
Don't lump them in with one another.
They know that they're different.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you, Roan.
I like their fucking built-in underpants on their pants.
You know, Sass came to Minnesota without any underwear in his suitcase.
I was wearing shorts underneath my sweatpants.
Yeah?
If you knew what shorts they were,
you wouldn't be saying you because they were bird dogs and they have
built-in underwear. Wow.
Is that still you? Oh, wow.
Exactly. Exactly, it does.
Show some goddamn respect.
Look, so I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to give you guys the promo code
first. We're going to switch things up.
Okay. Because I know you're going to want to jump on over as soon as you hear this.
It's birddogs.com and use promo code son.
So, you know, while you're on your phone listening or if you're on YouTube.
Hop on over to Bird Dogs.
Hop on over to Bird Dogs.
Make sure you keep listening.
Buy something for yourself.
Buy something for your dad.
Your dad's balls deserve to be coddled in a pair of pants that have built-in underpants.
Christmas is coming up,
and it honestly is a very,
like that, if I got bird dogs for Christmas,
I would genuinely be happy.
Yeah.
I'd be pumped.
Seems like a good stocking stuffer.
It's a great stocking stuffer.
It's a great stocking stuffer.
Put some pants in the stocking.
Shorts, pants, joggers
with built-in silky soft underwear.
The most comfortable thing I have ever worn,
and it's not even close. They stole Lululeulu lemon's designer and now they're just doing it they did
they stole was they sold a designer the top got the top dog from a gunpoint very comfortable attire
yeah incredible attire and uh they kidnapped him at gunpoint and they were like how are you gonna
how do you how do you make these shorts so comfortable and he was like just a liner
just a liner inside and they they were like, makes sense.
They hired him at Gunpoint,
and they've been paying him millions of dollars a year at Gunpoint
to keep on making these sweet shorts.
And the joggers just came out, and they're selling out fast.
Get them while you can.
It's one of the best podcast promos that we've ever had.
Go to birddogs.com, enter promo code SUN,
and they'll throw in the free Bird Dogs
whistle football.
The whistle football
is awesome, man.
That's actually
an amazing stuff.
My boy Sass can throw
one 600 yards.
Yeah, those things are fun.
On some Michael Vick shit.
You know who Michael Vick is?
Yeah, he beat his dogs.
That's not true.
He killed dogs.
Birddogs.com slash son.
Boom.
A free Bird Dogs football.
You will not take these things off.
That I promise you.
That I promise you.
That I promise you.
That I promise you.
And we promise you that.
That is something that's our promise to you.
You got to hang out with Francis.
Yeah, I did hang out with Francis.
I can't believe that you never met Francis before.
Well, we've talked many times.
Over via what?
Instagram, DM, text.
DatChat.
DatChat as well.
Yeah.
That's the only one we're feeling risque.
He kind of put up numbies of you taking a picture with all those broads.
Yeah.
And one of the broads even did some numbies.
She did. Calling you out for your hover hand. Yeah, which I've been called out for my hover hand many times. those broads yeah and the broader the one of the broads even did some numbies she did calling you
after your hover hand yeah which i've been called out for my hover hand many times when i did uh i
did natalie cuomo's podcast and i had there was two girls and they were both to the side of me
and i put my i did fists for some reason i think i meant to do thumbs up and everyone was like bro
please tell me this is a joke it's like like, dude, fucking relax. Also, hover hands.
I wasn't hover handing.
Oh my God, the whole thing was so annoying.
Just tell the people that you're not a verge.
My hand physically could not fit around all those people.
Yes, yes.
So my hand was up.
And everyone was like, dude, why is he so fucking scared around girls?
Yes, tell them you're not a verge.
I'm not a verge, bro.
Just look in the camera. I'm not a verge. Just're not a verge. I'm not a verge, bro. Just look in the camera.
I'm not a verge.
Just tell them straight up.
I'm not.
It's hard to touch a woman's shoulder.
It's intimidating.
I just finished.
It's one of the softest parts.
I just bombed my set.
In no way in my mind was I thinking,
I can't touch this girl's shoulders.
Let me raise my hand up.
It's also...
The only thing that was going on in my mind
was I'm going to kill myself when I get home. Yeah. Last thing you want is to touch this girl's shoulders. Let me raise my hand up. It's also, the only thing that was going on in my mind was like, I'm going to kill myself
when I get home.
Yeah.
Last thing you want
is to touch some girl,
give a girl unwanted touch,
unsanctioned filming
while they're,
right before they're about to.
Yeah.
But what'd you,
so what did you talk to Francis about?
You know what,
me and Francis used to have a podcast.
Life, bro.
For real?
Me and Francis chopped it up for a while.
For real?
Yeah, we talked for a really long time. Did he give you any pearls of wisdom, bro? Break it down for us, bro. Yeah. He told me
some good stuff that I'm gonna have to keep secret. Oh, really? It's like that, bro. I don't
want you stealing any of my tips. Yeah. You're gonna have to earn those. He's giving you tips
that I'd steal from you? Yes. Really? Yeah. Just give me one of them. No. I won't steal it.
Whisper it in Owen's ear. No. I feel like the people miss Owen's voice on this episode.
They do.
Every comment is like, bring in Owen Cam.
Everyone wants an Owen Cam.
Owen's humble ass.
My boy Owen's so fucking humble.
Owen's slumped off those O'Douls right now.
Yeah.
Owen actually doesn't drink.
Owen's had four O'Douls.
Slugs the Douls.
At what point do you have enough O'Douls, though, where you feel a little bit of buzz?
You were saying, I think around 40.
And you'll just be full?
No, you probably would.
I don't think you could physically finish 40.
Somebody could.
No, because the thing is, so beer, you can drink so much beer because alcohol numbs the hormone that makes you full.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's the thing. Alcohol numbs the hormone that makes you full. What the fuck are you talking about? That's a thing.
Alcohol numbs the hormone that makes you full.
So that's why like when you get drunk, you like eat so much food and you drink more.
I'm trying to think where you got that information.
Because from what I know, you get your workout information from Goggins.
You're like.
That I read that.
Your medical information from Rogan.
And then like your life experience motivation stuff from Gary V.
And I feel like those are your three
information sources. I'm not a Gary V guy for starters. What bro?
I do like Joe Rogan. I do like David Goggins.
And you like Gary V. I don't like Gary V.
Why not? Because I think he's a fraud.
No he's not bro. What are you talking about? I think he's a fraud.
He's a millionaire several times over. Do you believe this fucking guy?
Obviously he has no money
in the NFT space. That's fucking clear.
He doesn't have any cool gorillas. What are they called? My head is itchy with this new haircut.'s fucking clear he doesn't have any cool gorillas
what are they called my head is apes you don't have any fucking apes you don't have any fucking
apes take back what you said about v okay i like v i think sometimes he says things that kind of
work me up though gary varunarovic it's gary vandercuk oh fuck i forgot that one wrong um but
tell me about your experience with Francis
and tell me about when you bombed on stage.
I don't really have much to say about Francis.
We hung out for a really long time.
I was at the stand for like all night.
Why can't you talk glowingly about him then?
He was a nice guy.
We talked for a really long time.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You think he's on steroids?
He might be.
He's alarmingly jacked.
He does have a very chiseled jawline.
Was he your boy who went to Harvard and played football?
No, no, no.
Not him. Was it Francis? No, but Francis was good. Was he your boy who went to Harvard and played football? No, no, no, not him.
Was it Francis?
No, but Francis was good.
Did he do...
I met his fiance, too.
Fantastic.
Yeah, very nice.
Fantastic noise.
Nice couple.
I was very happy for them.
I wished them well.
Do you think you'll get invited to their wedding?
No.
No?
I'm sure you will.
Yeah, fucking, I better.
Yeah.
We used to fucking sing songs together, bro.
The stand-up set was fine.
I mean, I wasn't really on my game.
You ate shit.
I was coming off that music video.
All I could think about was the guns the whole time.
No, it was fine.
The whole premise.
The crowd was okay.
Yeah.
It was just like, I don't know.
Do you look people in the face when you're...
There was one kid I could not stop looking at because he was laughing.
He was not laughing.
Like, not even smiling.
And so you looked at him more?
I kept on looking at him.
He's front row.
He was like this.
He was like...
He looked like scared to make eye contact.
And I just kept looking at him.
I was like, dude, what is going on?
I feel like I turn face blind when I get on the stage.
Dude, you usually do.
You could see... I could see everyone in the room.
Really?
Yeah.
Like, I feel like, you ever hear that the main criticism about Hitler's paintings is
there was no humanity to them?
Like, he was bad at painting people's faces?
I haven't.
I thought he only painted dogs.
No, he painted, like, he'd paint, like, big, like, landscapes or, like, buildings and stuff
like that, like, architecture.
But there would, like, be little people, but, like little people, but there would be no humanity to the people.
It was kind of like an insight of his brain, how he thought about people.
He didn't see humanity in people.
But that's how I feel when I'm on stage.
Maybe that's autistic too.
Is that autistic when you're face-blind?
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah?
I think it might be a symptom.
Yeah, I think I get autistic when I'm on stage.
Something funny about that voice?
It's a symptom. It's a medical symptom. We're talking about... Yeah. So that freaks me out right off the bat. Also, it was
the first time I've gone alone. Usually I go with Owen, which is at least nice to have someone to
be like, oh man, I'm so fucking nervous too. Oh, it's like your comfort blanket.
But I got in there.
I went alone.
I went straight to the bathroom, threw up a bunch.
And then I, uh.
Exhausted calling your name.
Yeah.
And you're just looking in the mirror with your fucking North Face beanie on.
Don't choke.
You do look like B-Rabbit right now.
I had to pee so bad in the Uber.
I remember that.
And I went and I peed and I saw a friend said the corner of my eye.
I was like, I'll go say, I'll go say hi to him after.
And then I went.
Oh, you didn't even say what you thought to him?
I went straight to the bathroom.
I had to pee.
And then I got out of the bathroom, went and talked to Francis and the booker.
The booker bought me a drink.
He said he was nervous.
And I was like, bro, I'm nervous.
I was like, why are you nervous?
And he was like, I just don't like being here.
Everyone comes up and talks to him because he's the booker.
Oh, the booker was nervous? Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant you meant francis was no no francis wasn't nervous at all yeah yeah he was doing five sets that night really yeah what the
fuck yeah so like i would talk to him for like 30 minutes then he would go to his set and come
back up and we'd talk more five sets in the same place same place same night what yeah are they
paying him a million dollars no but they're paying him good. He gets good money from that. Really?
Yeah.
What did your bro guys get?
I got 75 bucks for doing a 10-minute set.
Of course, I spent it all on blow-in hookers as soon as the show ended.
Yeah.
They didn't pay you in blow-in hookers?
It's actually in my back pocket, in my bag right now.
The 75?
Yeah.
What, did they give you three $25 bills?
No, but I was stoked, dude. She came
up to me and she was like, she was like, Harry, right? And I was like, yeah. And then she just
pulls out a wad of cash. And I was like, whoa. I was like, damn. And I, of course I counted it
right in front of her, make sure it was right. Did you tip her out? No. You didn't stuff a little
down her shirt? No. No. And then, uh, yeah, it was, I mean, it was a fun time. It's fun hanging out at comedy clubs.
Especially when you're one of the comics there.
Except you're the worst one.
Everyone there hates you.
Yeah, you're the worst one and the most famous one.
So people don't like you from both angles.
People don't like the young buck.
And people don't like when someone's more successful or well-known than them.
No, they don't like that at all.
At all.
They want you to fail.
Actually, all the other comics
were probably gleeful
that you were fucking
dying up there.
And also,
it wasn't like a full bomb.
It was just like
some of my jokes
didn't hit as hard
as I would have liked them to.
Yeah.
And it was just like,
it was just not as enthusiastic
of a crowd as it has been.
Put the bomb in Hurt Locker terms
if we're on a war movie kick.
I don't know.
All I will say is
it definitely wasn't like a,
it wasn't like, like I've been at shows where it's been a full bomb and like no one's laughing
it was like my best jokes did hit they just didn't hit like as hard as they have before
i think it was more i just got thrown off because i had like a five minute bit planned out about
travis scott the travis scott show where i was like kind of just making fun of like what we talked about the dead episode no not the dead and and that ended up being like 15 seconds so that really
threw me off you just said it too fast or you forgot I said it too fast I think I forgot a lot
of it and I was like oh shit yeah run it back pull it up no definitely not why funny also a lot of
the jokes just why did like mostly new material most of them sucked just gonna try to scratch all those but um no i think i just gotta start doing sets and not
promoting them as much like so i can actually like bomb and like try new shit and not be
worried about like oh my fans are gonna hate me now and not stalking the crowd yeah
i know it's not a bad idea it's like going to open mics with this thing on
just go to brook Brooklyn and just like fucking
spit out ideas
you look like Bobcat Goldthwait
if I went to Brooklyn in this they would love me
like yo I don't know what that guy's about to say
but he's fucking smart
just this and a vote for Bernie t-shirt on
a Yang gang t-shirt
I don't think anyone
likes Yang anymore
I just get that from Tyler O'Day's tweets
he hates Yang I don't like anyone likes Yang anymore. Really? I just get that from Tyler O'Day's tweets. He hates Yang.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I don't like to have too many people who are throwing political opinions on the feed,
but he's definitely one of them.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I love his tweets.
Yeah.
He just woke up today and tweeted, ban alcohol.
That's facts, dude.
Yeah.
We got to ban marijuana, too.
This marijuana I have right now is-
Like you would survive.
It's supposed to make you horny. Yeah, I know. I saw your tweet about it. Did it? Yeah. I just gave some to the boys. dude we gotta ban marijuana too this marijuana i have right now like you would survive it's
supposed to make you horny yeah i know i saw your tweet about it did it yeah i just gave
something to the boys i don't even like that that's why they're so we were hanging out last
night bro so what were you torqued up yeah the whole time i was fucking smoking around everybody
i was getting everybody secondhand horny they just they're just getting fucking horny by breathing
in the air yeah i feel a little a little something last Yeah. You didn't feel a little something last night?
No.
You didn't feel a horny a-hole last night?
No, not at all.
Well, you need to start working on your fucking big muscle.
I was more like, am I going to be awake tomorrow morning?
Am I going to live until tomorrow morning?
I literally had like two Oduels, and I was like, I couldn't even stand up.
You held a conversation fine.
Ron was trying to make me take a shot.
And I was like, no,
no, no, Ron, please, no, I'm not 21.
And he was like, I don't give a fuck how old you are, bitch. Take this shot,
pledge. Yeah. Stick your hand in these
eyeballs. Yeah. But they're really just grapes
with, like, the skin peeled off.
Facts. You never rushed a fucking
frat. No, I haven't. You definitely did, though.
We wouldn't pledge, but we'd rush.
Yeah, you told me about that. We'd rush to get some free fucking beers back to the old days
oh fuck yes bro bring me back the things i would do to be back on campus one more time bro but
you're i'll show you became a penn state fan when you went up to state but you're low-key you're a
vikings fan now a little bit yeah i actually did want to get a minnesota i think i'm more of a
minnesota hockey fan.
Yeah?
College.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, pick up some Minnesota shit.
Just because I watched Miracle the other day,
and half the team is from Boston, half the team is from Minnesota.
That's like you right now.
Yeah.
You're in Minnesota, but you're from Boston.
Yeah, exactly.
Fuck yeah.
I was actually going to look up the exact quote that he says in the beginning of the movie, but I forgot.
Do you remember any of the dude's names other than Mike Aruzioni?
Yeah, Jack O'Callaghan, Coxie.
Fuck yeah.
Brooks, Aruzioni.
Herbie?
Fucking Herbie.
I practically know the whole team.
Dude, the dudes at the house yesterday,
they said it's like a big Minnesota thing
to play knee hockey.
Oh, yeah.
I used to play knee hockey all the time.
Did you really?
So fun.
The dudes were nice with this thing.
Dude, I had like the goalie,
I had like the knee hockey goalie pads.
Shit was so fun.
Goalie pads? I feel like it's pussy.
Dude, not when you're just...
They say there's no hoodies allowed because
anything like pads or... Yeah, I was probably also
in like second grade. But like if you have
pads, it makes you bigger for the goal.
Yeah. That's basically cheating. Yeah. You shouldn't
even have a goalie, honestly.
Knee hockey is awesome
I would have loved to play
if I didn't know
they were playing
these guys would have
bodied you
I'm so good
there's this one dude
named Fat Roach
do they play with a ball
or a puck
a ball
you know they make
like foam pucks
no it was a ball
because they're just
rolling around on the carpet
the dude Fat Roach
he would fucking
throw it back up
off the wall
and then fucking
back hit it in
oh man I miss that
the worst feeling ever
is when you would be playing knee hockey and then someone's stick would
hit your fingers.
Yes.
That's what they said.
Bloody knuckles.
Everybody would get bloody knuckles.
It would hurt bad.
Did you ever play bloody knuckles, the game where you would like spin a quarter and have
to stop the quarter?
And if you didn't stop it, you flicked the quarter into somebody's knuckles down like
this?
No.
It was fucking awful.
It was fucking sick, bro.
At the lunch table at Catholic school,
you're just trying to fucking feel some pain to stop you from being fucking horny from a teacher
who's a three, that type of shit. Horny off a Spanish teacher or something like that.
You're a Latin teacher. I have no idea what you're talking about. You didn't take Latin,
sounds like you need some headspace, bro. Sounds like you need some headspace to get your mind right.
What do you mean, bro? That's a shared experience. Who among us has it? Joe, you never felt that?
Joey's been there. Mike, you never felt that?
I would say she looked forward to it.
Who are you talking about? There are people. You never felt that?
I got scars from it. See, bro? You haven't lived that. Just because we're in different simulations.
Honestly, I blanked out for a second.
You ignore your grandmom and people have that shared experience.
I got horny over a teacher in high school.
Yeah, everyone did.
So whatever.
And he was a nice guy.
I thought that he was a handsome guy.
With the stresses of this last year, it's more important than ever to practice living healthier and happier lives.
So what if a few minutes was all it took to change your relationship with stress and anxiety, transforming your life for the better?
Yeah.
That's the power of meditation with Headspace.
And honestly, Headspace is, to me, the most actually transformative thing to make me feel better.
Oh, yeah. Meditation is awesome.
It's incredible.
It's better than eating right right exercising like meditation honestly once
you just learn how to get that that rhythmic breathing down you're like you're good for life
and i would try to like when i first tried meditating i i was rhythmic breathing before
we did the roller coaster today literally really oh yeah it calms you down i was cause i was slowing
down my heart dude i used to do it during jenga matches and i was like unstoppable when i was fucking rhythmic breathing
my best jenga days were because i was rhythmically breathing yeah i would have anxiety sometimes
before flights i'd fucking take a i do a headspace real quick fucking take a headspace medication
i would take a headspace i would take a headspace. I would take a headspace.
Before the Shane Gillis show, dude, I sat down.
I did a headspace.
I went into our courtroom. You were snorting Xanax before the show.
That's not true at all.
Trying to get yourself to calm down.
That's not true at all.
I did a headspace, and I could not have been more relaxed.
And headspace, I'm toward the headspace headquarters.
I also love the voice that they have.
Yeah, it's just a smooth-ass voice. Yeah, I love the voice. Guided yeah that's just a smooth ass voice yeah i love
the voice guided meditation is awesome saved my life 10 minutes you could just knock one out and
it will literally change your day 10 minutes a day honestly it will literally change your entire
life it will and i'm dead serious and i'm not fucking around either this shit is dead serious
and uh people's thoughts can be confusing meditation doesn't have to be i don't even
think we got to read any of the script.
I think we just, I think we covered everything.
It's science back meditation.
It's an app.
I am personally endorsing Headspace.
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It's definitely more than,
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Fantastic.
You got to get that Headspace in.
Headspace is good.
Headspace is good.
I love their voice. They have the best commercials. I forget what thespace is good. Headspace is good. I love their voice.
They have the best commercials.
I forget what the voice sounds like, but I know it.
I love it.
Is it British, bro, right?
Is it British?
I think it is.
Yeah.
It's a smooth-ass British, bro.
You know what the best meditation voice is?
Headspace.
Headspace.
Headspace.
And then...
It's just Headspace.
It is Headspace.
Oh, Wim Hof.
Wim Hof.
Yeah. Yeah, Wim Hof. Wim Hof. Yeah.
Yeah, Wim Hof.
Now, lie on your back.
You are in control.
I just infected myself with full-blown AIDS.
Watch me breathe through this.
Feel ze breath.
Feel the AIDS leaving your body.
Dude, he literally got injected with Ebola and fought it off.
And it crawled out.
It just, they like zoomed in on his dick tip and the
Ebola was just marching out. Have you ever done
like the full Wim Hof, like the cold shower
and the Wim Hof? I can't cold shower.
I can't cold shower.
I do cold
jumps in the ocean.
And did you do Wim Hof before?
Jumping in the ocean is incredible though.
Dude, it literally
like changes your body temperature going in cold water changes your body temperature why do you
have headphones in just hitting the headspace it was hitting the headspace the homies can't
fucking meditate bro you need all the attention that's my bad bro let the homies fucking meditate
bro it's okay not to be okay bro that's okay's okay. Why don't you throw this back in?
You're good.
You're straight, bro.
You're straight.
Sass has been pissed off at you ever since you told him that he found his hat on the subway tracks.
Yeah, I was pissed when you said that.
He's been pissed.
Bro, we've been beefing for a while.
Ever since you gave that bad quote when that reporter was calling you to try to do that hit piece on sass
yeah no that's why i got the wig now or the hair now trying to go incognito identity you're a
little sass right no no no no i'm not little sass folk are you talking about sean white bro
flying tomato tomato i'm trying to think of what his nickname was the fucking flying tomato
yeah bro and fucking sean white you ever hear that story when sean white said he talked to
carrot top and he's like should i cut the hair and carrot top's like dude fucking cut it now
or it'll turn into your whole identity yeah yeah poor fucking care it was way cooler with the with
the long hair you think so sean white yeah you think so yeah except he does make good uh tiktoks
now what are they?
I don't think I've seen them.
It's just like him reacting to like snowboarding clips.
You know who makes good social media?
Extreme athlete that makes good social media?
Who?
Tony Hawk.
Oh, Tony Hawk's awesome.
I went to the skate park and some kid was like, who the fuck is Tony Hawk?
Pussy.
No, they'll be like, bro, has anyone ever told you you look like Tony Hawk?
And he's like, no.
Or he'll be like, I am Tony Hawk.
And he'll be like, and then the kid broke his board over my head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The kid disrespects the fuck out of him.
We should get him on the podcast.
He'd be a good one.
Dude, we'd be fucking chopping it up.
Bro, we have P-Rod on fucking.
I would love for him to teach me how to like ollie.
You couldn't fucking ollie.
I tried to learn how to ollie for so long.
You couldn't even snowboard, bro.
I'm very, very good at extreme sports.
What have you ever done that's extreme?
You were scared to go on a roller coaster. Bro, I'm so good at skiing. A. That's A. That's not a,
that's a country club sport, not an extreme sport. Skiing is an extreme sport. Skiing is the same as
golf. When you go off jumps and stuff, it is. And I used to be able to go off jumps.
You used to be able to because you were younger. I'm awesome at longboarding. I can bomb massive
hills longboarding. No, you can't. Yes, I swear
to God I can. Bomb a hill then. Bomb a hill right now.
I will. If you get me a longboard,
I will. Bomb a hill right now. I'll do it on a skateboard too.
You could do it on like a
mini skateboard, a little one. A penny board?
A penny board? Yeah, easily. You can't
fucking bomb it. Yes, I literally can.
You couldn't bomb a police station, bro. You can't fucking
bomb a fucking... I swear to God I could.
My hair keeps on getting in my mouth.
You need to fucking tie that shit back.
I know.
Actually, you should get cornrows.
I'm going to have to condition before we go out tonight.
You should fucking culturally appropriate and get some locks.
Is Dole is all from out here or she's from Seattle?
We should get her on the pod.
Bro, you're nuts.
We need more fucking female energy on the shit.
We have too much masculine energy. We haven't had any girls.
The feminine urge to fucking get dreadlocks and say you're black.
What girl guest should we have?
I was thinking...
Brianna Chicken Fry.
No.
I thought they were Grace.
Grace.
Oh yeah, maybe.
What was the girl's name that we saw on the stand?
How about a woman?
How about woman?
How about you stop calling them girls?
We should get Ally McCoskey.
She's really funny.
Or Rachel Sano.
Both of them.
We should get both of them.
Yeah.
They're both really funny.
Are they libs?
Maybe.
We need to get some fucking libs on this pod so we can fucking destroy them in a fucking debate.
We need to fucking debate some fucking libs.
They're both really funny, though. We should get them on.
Who's the girl from...
The woman from Wild N' Out?
I don't know.
Funny.
You ever watch Shiva, baby?
No.
It's with Rachel, so no.
You should watch it. really good really good actually
there's another woman who's a stand-up comic rachel something
ali mckoski no see i know i don't know like that many you're a sexist no i'm not we need to get
educated by some women about some women but it's not even on them to educate us we need to do the
work we need to do the work and fucking watch some
women's stand-ups. Rachel Feinstein.
Dude, you're literally a misogynist. What are you talking
about? You literally are. What are you fucking talking about?
When have I ever done something misogynistic?
I fucking uplift our sisters at all
times. When was the last time
you uplifted a sister? Today, when I
just said Shiva Baby was the best movie I've seen in 2021.
Which one was Shiva Baby?
Yeah, exactly. I think I've seen it.
I think we should end.
I think we'll end there.
No, I'm definitely...
I think we'll end on that.
I don't think we will.
How far in are we, Owen?
Do you know?
I don't want to wait.
Oh, yeah.
I saw Shiva Baby.
68.
Oh, I fucking saw it twice, actually.
No, you didn't.
Shiva Baby was literally the best movie I've seen in 2021.
And I 100% mean that. What was the movie where that woman... I texted everyone I know. I was like,'t. Shiva Baby was literally the best movie I've seen in 2021. And I 100% mean that.
What was the movie where that woman...
I texted everyone I know.
I was like, go watch Shiva Baby.
It was insane.
Texted your grandma.
I texted my parents.
I said, watch Shiva Baby.
What's the movie where the woman kills all the men?
All the men that...
Promising Young Woman.
Dawn Girl?
That's my shit.
Have you seen Promising Young Woman?
No, have you ever seen Dawn Girl?
Yes. Dawn Girl's amazing. That's fire. Promising Young Woman. Gone Girl? That's my shit. Have you seen Promising Young Woman? No, have you ever seen Gone Girl? Yes.
Gone Girl's amazing.
That's fire.
Promising Young Woman is fire.
Doesn't sound like it's as good as Gone Girl.
That's for sure.
What are you talking about?
You've never seen it, bro.
I don't need to see it.
You haven't seen this movie that's made by women.
You know what I've done for women?
Is grow out this hair.
Show them that I stand with them.
Growing hair?
Yeah.
Well, how do you condition it?
How often do you wash it?
Once a week.
Oh, you don't know, bro.
I use that cow tail shampoo.
Yeah, the purple bottle.
I have three sisters.
I know what girls use to wash their hair.
For real?
Yeah.
Do you love them?
Yes.
How much?
A lot.
Okay.
Tell them.
No.
When was the last time you told them?
Never.
What about your mom?
You ever tell mom,
do you say you love her?
Yeah, I told her last night.
Yeah?
Overtext only.
When you were freaking out,
thinking you were about to die.
Mom, if anything happens,
I just had two O'Douls.
No, maybe it was two nights ago then.
You got to tell your mom every day, bro.
You got to, bro.
Just shut up.
Hell yes, bro. Sometimes, man. Mother's love, bro, brings you to tears, your mom every day bro you got to bro hell yes bro sometimes man
mother's love bro brings you to tears bro it's like that zach brown band shit
mother's love you know i like my chicken fried you don't like your chicken fried bro
i actually love fried chicken have you ever had it i have
what's so funny bro nothing bro this is such a weird environment to do a podcast and i feel
like we're just like like it is weird it feels weird the fact it would be less weird if we had
microphones like with us holding them right i think you're two in your head outside looking
in people are probably like what are these two talking about that these three or at least four
all just watching so aggressively we're imparting wisdom bro for those who don't know we got we're
labbed up we're labbed up. We're labbed up.
They do know. Everyone has switched over to YouTube
and they're watching it now. It probably has more numbers
than Dave's live that he did.
I can't believe you're
talking so much shit on Dave during his live, bro.
Me? Yeah, you were like,
I could have done this so much better.
I could have gotten out of rape allegations
so much faster than him. I didn't say a goddamn word, bro.
You didn't say that you could have got out of it faster than him?
No.
You were like biting your fingernails.
You were like, bro, Barstool's literally all I've got.
I need this to work.
Dave can't fuck this up.
Dave cannot fuck this up, bro.
He's fucking up my fucking money.
Don't fuck up my money, Dave.
You're like, dude, I've literally got almost all my net worth in pen stock.
You're wearing the pen hat right now. Of course, bro a boot licker i'm trying to fucking boot licker i'm
gonna pick the fucking company back up told me i had to cut my hair to stay on with the brand
yeah it's like the new york yankees up yours brother he's like george steinbrenner yeah you
know the dudes on the new york yankees have to cut their hair i did no you didn't bro because
i'm lying and i'm making that up right now i I was lying, too. Well, I'm lying.
I'm double lying because they actually do have to cut their hair.
Fucking Giambi did it when he got traded in Moneyball.
Hey, Giambi deserved to be traded.
He was a piece of shit.
You didn't even know Giambi had a brother, bro.
I did.
You thought there was one Giambi.
No, I didn't.
I knew that the original Giambi got traded.
And then there was another Giambi who got drafted that season.
And they traded him, too.
What were their names?
I don't fucking know. It doesn't matter. You don't fucking know the Giambis, bro drafted that season, and they traded him, too. What were their names? I don't fucking know.
It doesn't matter.
You don't fucking know the Giambis, bro.
What were their names?
He doesn't fucking know.
Jason and Jeremy.
Damn, bro.
Damn.
The mic's just fucking double-dunked on your ass.
Yeah, because you boys got your phones open looking up who the Giambis are.
Dude, check their fucking history, then.
Check their history.
Jeremy played for the Phillies.
He played for the Phillies.
They traded him to the Phillies on Moneyball.
I know.
For who, then?
For a lot of money.
No, they didn't, bro.
It was player for player.
It was Jason Michaels.
Bro, I've had enough of this bullshit today.
Bro, you don't know shit about fucking sports, bro.
You're a Vikings fan.
You don't even know who the fucking QB is, bro.
I'm not a Vikings fan.
I'll go out and say that I'm not.
What did you think of the hot dish that they made?
I didn't have it because it was freezing.
It wasn't a hot dish.
It was a cold dish.
All these Minnesota nice dudes.
My hair keeps getting in my mouth, bro.
He brought down this hot dish that his mom made.
And all these dudes who were supposed to be so nice, they were like, this is the most disgusting shit I've ever tried.
Yeah, you told me about that.
He almost cried in the corner.
He felt the dude felt so bad.
Dude, I was so hungry.
And I was literally telling Owen and we were on our way
from the airport i was like yeah we're just going like one of rowan's boys to like watch this game i
guess one of rowan's boys houses like you didn't tell me that you were filming a fucking video
yeah i was filming a video so you're like yeah pull up to this address and i was like oh cool
i just wanted you to get some life experience i was so pumped i thought there's gonna be pizza
there or something i was so hungry and you guys get there and you're like everyone's like oh eat
this there was almond cheese as soon as I start going
as stupid, everyone starts laughing.
And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. What about the
almond cheese? There was like Velveeta with almonds in it.
I just ended up eating chips. Yeah.
Was it good? Yeah, there was good shit.
No, he's lying. There was a fucking artichoke
dip. He's just being a... There was literally no food.
That's not true at all. Oh, and was there food?
No. Oh, and just said no. That's not true.
You're a liar. You didn't have any brownies?
Pathological liar.
You didn't have any brownies?
Pathological liar.
You didn't have a brownie?
No, because they weren't brownies.
They were Rice Krispie treats with a little bit of chocolate on the top.
It's not a brownie.
They look like brownies.
They look like a tray of brownies.
They did look like brownies, but they weren't.
I had two of them.
Yes.
All right.
Should we wrap it up?
You didn't talk about the aquarium.
A couple words about the aquarium first.
Oh, fuck, yeah.
The aquarium was awesome.
The mall was honestly a great experience i mean the roller coasters in the aquarium was like the best clean
fun i've had in a long time best fun not on out of van you've had no yeah uh maybe like 10 years
it was so fun dude the show i was i'm i love sharks i'm terrified of sharks but i love like
looking you're also scared of um tarantulas yeah the tarantulas I wouldn't even look at.
I walked away as soon as I saw the logo.
That's what had you sweating from your butt to start off with.
It wasn't just a roller coaster that had you butt sweating.
It was a tarantula.
As soon as I saw the little sign with the tarantula on it, I walked away.
You look like Jay and Silent Bob.
And the snake, too.
I looked at the snake for a second, but then I turned away.
It's Jay and Silent Bob, right?
Who's that?
Kevin Smith, bro. Come on, bro. away it's a jay and silent bob right who's that kevin smith bro come on bro jay and silent bob
were like they were like two of the best montreal canadians players of all time they were like
fucking studs they would like come out and like fight everybody they it was before hockey had
helmets and they would just go and fucking brawl with people all right should we wrap it up you ever heard jay-z's line about fucking jay and silent bob
playing hockey who's jay-z why do you want to wrap it up so bad like what do you literally have
to do i have to pee so bad you probably have a cold cancer you're the tiniest i googled it it's
from the zoloft so often it's set like uh serratelan or whatever the fuck it's called. Not serotel... I'm out.
I'm out, bro.
Can't get my words right.
Taking antidepressants makes you pee more often.
It's a symptom.
You're schmung off the O'Douls.
No, I'm literally not.
You're not schmung?
But I do have to pee so bad.
Does anyone want to step in while I go pee?
Just piss yourself, bro.
We're in a private room.
We're in a private room with this beautiful man.
You don't have to end it if I can go pee real quick.
Hot mic. Just go pee.
Just leave it on. Don't take it off. Don't take it off. It'll fuck you.
Alright.
No, don't follow me.
Just go. You need the room key to
get into the bathroom. You have yours? Someone
took mine, I think. Yeah, someone took your room
key. No, I thought I gave mine to someone.
Oh, never mind. I guess I didn't.
Thank you. room key no i thought i gave mine to someone oh never mind i guess i didn't thank you i'm so confused what's going on why is everyone so fucking quiet we can wait we can wait
hurry up all right you're back from the bathroom can we wrap it up? It's up to you.
Time to keep going.
Some questions from the kids.
Somebody asked what kind of protein you use.
Quest bars, mostly.
And muscle milk.
Got to get on New School.
My boy's got to get
on the fucking New School shit.
It's that, bro.
I like Quest protein powder a lot,
but sometimes just making a protein shakes
a pain in the ass you know you can just grab it you can just grab a muscle milk yeah what
you could grab a new school bar oh yeah or a new school bar i love new school bars those are
actually my favorite for real yeah what do you like so much about them? They just taste really good.
High protein, low carbs.
Yeah, keto.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're gas.
Every morning I have three eggs and I got a New School bar.
Yeah, New School bars are awesome.
Bro, I wish that they just had them in like all my like favorite retail stores.
Yeah, me too.
Like CVS.
Soon they will though, right?
CVS and Walmart and like 7-Eleven. I want them everywhere. Yeah, me too. Soon they will though, right? CVS and Walmart and 7-Eleven.
I want them everywhere.
Yeah, me too.
I won't rest until I can buy a new school bar
wherever I'm at.
Yeah, I was actually, me and some of the guys on Dat Chat
were talking about new school bars the other day.
I was like, hey, what's up guys?
I just wrapped up a headspace
and I'm wearing my Allbirds and my Bird Dogs right now.
And we fucking...
And this was in Dat Chat.
And I was like have
you guys ever had new school bars and you know this this episode is spelled new school and you
and you and you not any w n u s k o o l s k o o l new school the best bars that money can buy
the best bars the money can buy wait what's next that money can buy. Next is Nantuck's.
Good clean fun.
Good clean fun.
That was good clean fun.
Today was good clean fun. I had a good time.
In the aquarium and we got fucking cheeseburgers.
We did.
What was your favorite fish you saw in the aquarium?
Sharks.
What were they? Blue sharks?
They were fascinating. The sharks. What were they? Blue sharks? Oh, they were fascinating.
Dude, but did you look at their mouths and think
The teeth were so crazy, dude. But did you think
that one would bite you and kill you?
No, no, no. Me neither. I could beat the shit
out of one of those things. It would take like a lot of them
and a lot of bites. Bryce Hall could be one of those
things in a fight. Whoa.
And that's saying a lot. Come on, bro.
Yeah. Well, he's natty, bro.
After I begged him to be on the podcast too
i want to go on the record and say i got on my hands and knees and that and begged for bryce
to be on and he said no at first and then you crawled after him fucking tugging i held on i
went limp and i just held on to his leg because he was trying to leave the barstool office i remember
it like it was yesterday he had a rod and gun sweatshirt yeah fucking pulled on the fucking
sleeve of the sweatshirt and he dragged you down the hallway like a fucking and gun sweatshirt. Yeah. And he fucking pulled on the fucking sleeve of the sweatshirt.
And he dragged you down the hallway like a fucking madman.
And I was like, bro, you don't get it.
Like, this is everything for me.
Because he doesn't know how much you love TikTok.
No.
He doesn't know that you love TikTok, dancing, dudes.
And sure, dudes especially.
Dudes today called me an up-and-coming TikToker on Mush The Line.
That boiled my blood.
Why? Because you're not up-and-coming or because you're not a line that boiled my, that boiled my blood. Why? Because you're not up and coming or because you're not on TikToker,
but you're an up and coming TikToker. Like you're going to start doing TikToker.
No, I'm not. That's basically what he's saying. Yes, you are.
All right, Joe, anything else you want to talk about? Yeah. Um,
do you think that if,
do you think that there's a chance that Russia and China could simultaneously
invade? Yes.
And what do we do if they do?
We're fucked.
And that's on that.
Let's go get some dinner.
And that's that.
Let's go get some dinner.
Thanks for watching.
Son of a boy, dad.
Subscribe, like, comment.
Patreon.
Patreon.
Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon.
Anything else you guys want to plug?
New school.
New school.
Protein.
Diddy. Didoutine. Diddy.
Diddy.
Diddy.
Dirty money.
Ever heard of Diddy?
Look him up.
Danity Kane.
Check out whatever Danity Kane's putting out.
The New York Jets.
Watch the New York Jets.
Lattes.
Lattes.
The Taylor Swift's new latte.
Oh, yeah.
Taylor Swift's fucking fire ass latte.
Taylor Swift just watched a new album.
She hit us up.
She wants to promo it on the pod.
She's supposed to be pretty good.
I haven't gotten around to listening to it yet, but it's gas.
But they said that, yeah, once the check hits, we'll probably be able to talk about it a little bit more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there was a lot of milk in her latte.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out to Taylor.
Shout out to Taylor.
Taylor Gang.
Oh, Guilty, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Kind of like weird sponsors to go back and forth, but that's just the way that the sales company gave it to us.
Sales did.
Oh, but are we saying Jake Gyllenhaal
is guilty? No, no. There's a movie
with Jake Gyllenhaal called Guilty.
But he's not guilty of whatever Taylor Swift is talking about.
I don't think he did anything, right?
They just broke up? Yeah. He's not guilty of breaking
up with her? No. She didn't do that shit?
She broke up with him. That's fucking lies. Can we end this?
Yeah, let's end it. Let's wrap it up.
Okay, let's wrap it up now. Anything else you want to add?
No. Anything else you want to shout out happy thanksgiving what a nice guy this guy's fucking
nice