Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 30 - Thankful

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss their weeks in NYC, Minneapolis and Nashville, becoming frogmen, new stand-up material, karaoke night, thanksgiving plans, LeBron, Chrissy Teigen, Kyle Rittenhouse, & much more -- Full episodes also available on YouTube -- New hats & hoodies on sale Friday! Grab some shit -- Thank you guys for listeningYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today is Monday, November 22nd. It is the Monday before Thanksgiving. 4.07 in the p.m.

4.07 p.m. Eastern time. Eastern time. Eastern time. If you notice behind us, not the American flag, except the American flag is there. But we do also have our merch behind us. Yes. Yeah. Buy that shit.

Buy the merch. Black Friday is coming up and they're going to be on sale, I believe. We will be giving one lucky fan $1 million who buys our merch. Yes. And on Monday, Cyber Monday. I think they're on sale the whole weekend too and on cyber monday yeah and it's like 20 off everything or something crazy shit crazy like that so crazy boy dad hoodie cop a hungover hoodie um why is that funny why is that fucking funny for every one uh boy dad hoodie we sell they brianna chicken fry sells 7 000 hungover hoodies so we're trying to even out that ratio a little more bro jay's

calling me steven chase calling yeah you could answer should i answer i just banged on him oh well while we're doing this i guess we'll hop into our presenting sponsor. Yo, brother. Yo, brother. We don't have our ad reads for this week. Could you kick those over our way? For the week of 11-22? For the week of 11-22.

Someone needs to get fired. The boys are... Is that Sass? Yeah, that's me. Sass is pissed. Sass is looking for blood. He's fucking pissed. He's knocking heads.

I'll double check. That should have been sent. I'll double check right now and get it over to you. He just cursed out our guy, Jake. And Jake's crying right now in the corner. All right. I'll check with my team right now. Thank you.

He's crying into his bowl of barstool bites, French toast bites. I would never curse out Jake. He's a friend and a lover. I saw you leg sweep Jake. I saw you park bench him. Jake left. I said, thank you, Jake. We do know Dat Chat.

I said, thank you, Jake. We're going to want to get into our presenting sponsor. I was the one who thanked Jake. And then I said, thank you, Jake, too. To yourself. No, I said it to him. Thank you, Harry. So we're going to want to hop into our presenting sponsor of today's episode.

It is none less than DatChat, our favorite messaging app. We like to get real naughty on there after hours. We were on DatChat the entire time that we were in Minnesota. We were. And we were just like putting exclusive shit, sending messages, deleting those messages right afterwards. Saying naughty things and then just deleting it. Super naughty stuff. My favorite thing is to say something bad, really bad, and then you can just set it so it goes away after one second.

Yeah, and it just makes you feel like a little dangerous boy. I'm like, oh, try and cancel me. Yeah, how are you going to? You can't even screenshot it. You can't even screenshot it. Bro, is that so crazy? We said screenshot at the same time that's fucking podcast chemistry bro so dad chat's a great app um brianna chicken fry and grace wish they had chemistry like that yeah

they don't one day maybe maybe they could if they just spend a little bit more time together yeah they spend as much time in the fucking trenches as we do jesus christ chay if he fucking blows up my phone one more time, I'm going to suicide bomb him. Bro. I can't say that shit. I thought we were on dad chat. True, but you can say that because it's dad chat.

You can dad chat. Side note, it feels good to have the good audio back. People were not happy with the audio last week. And honestly, you can't get mad at us about the audio. We were on the road. We still got the episode out on time. Yes. And we had

about 15 watchful owl eyes watching us throughout that. It was a very, very uncomfortable episode. Have you ever tried to crack jokes while someone just leers at you? Someone just stares at you with a blank face. And just anytime you try to make something funny, they just shake their head like, no. That's not it. Don't

do that. Don't say that. That shit's bad. Go download the app now. Make sure you join our show page. And we'll talk everything son of a boy dad on Dat Chat. We have it. I mean, Harry and I keep back messages back and forth. I'm going to be on Dat Chat on Thanksgiving.

Yes. I'm going to be drinking. And I'm going to be just pumping out in just nasty things. I'm going to live tweet my dysfunctional family. We're going to be talking about Kyle Rittenhouse on DatChat on Thanksgiving. I'm going to make up fake racist things that my uncle is saying and try to get cloudy points on Twitter.

I'm just going to be sending exactly what my grandpa says. I'm pumped. I can't wait to be sitting at Thanksgiving. Also, wait, what's the code? DatChat. I don't think there is a code. Just download it for us. Or go to datchat.com slash barstool.

Get more info and download DatChat. I mean, just download it. It will intuitively lead you around. You know, be friends with Sass. Sass will be friends with you back. Follow the show, bro. We need to be, like, we need to be shitting on these other fucking shows.

We want to be the number one. I'm fucking tired of them. It says BFF, Chicks in the Office, Plain Bree, Macro Dosing, and The Rundown. We need to shit on all of them. Yeah, we want to be ahead of all of them. We need to screw off their heads like a tube of toothpaste and shut down their neck. So that I can buy some new shoes. These shoes have bigger holes in them than I've ever seen on shoes.

Yeah. They're basically hanging on by a thread. Like Yeah. They're basically hanging on by a thread. Like, the sole is basically hanging on by a thread. It looks like an anthropomorphic, like, talking shoe. Like, it looks like somebody cast a spell on your shoe, and it's like your grandpa or something like that. And you're just, like, walking around on your grandpa. And that's fucking real. Yeah.

And that's as real as can be. Thanksgiving's coming up. Yes. Bro, I love fucking Thanksgiving fucking love Thanksgiving I am me too are you going back to Philly I'm gonna go back to Philly and I'm also gonna go to Mexico oh wow yes bro that'll be fun Tulum who are you going with

the wife classic the ball and Chan and I'm also going with my friend Mike which one the one whose house you went to in Philly. Oh, yeah. Best man. Best man Mike. Best man Mike.

Yeah. I think it's better if we never differentiate them though. No. But one of the Mikes is coming down. Is he bringing anyone or is he going solo? A little couples vacay. Oh, wow. A little couples trip.

You guys staying in one room? Yeah. We're bunking up. Yeah. Yeah. We only have one bed though. When are you going? The floors are hardwood.

On Friday. Friday. Yeah. How when are you going? The floors are hardwood. On Friday. Friday, yeah. How long are you staying? Until Monday. A little quick weekend. When are you leaving on Monday? Are we going to do another 6 a.m. recording session?

No, we're going to have to do it tomorrow. I'm not going to be here tomorrow. Well, it looks like we're doing a back-to-back episode today. Oh, man. You're not going to be here at all tomorrow? No, I'm leaving at 10 a. today. Oh, man. You're not going to be here at all tomorrow? No, I'm leaving at 10 a.m. Oh, perfect. We would do it before that.

Really? I don't know. Oh, man. We would just take the week off from next week. Just kidding. We would never take the week off. We would literally never do that to you. Maybe we could do it at like, maybe we could do a Tuesday morning first thing. No, dude, we can't do that.

So we have to do it on Monday night when I get back? Ah! Ah! I had no idea, dude. We can't do it today. I got to go home and clean my room now. Why do you have to clean your room? Because they're showing our apartment and my room is literally...

Dude, the clothes are literally at level with my bed throughout the entire room really there's one little square of floor and i just jump into bed as soon as i enter my room are you a hoarder floor no dude it's just like just things aren't going well for me right now damn dude the apartment's in good shape though the apartment is in really good shape the kitchen's in good shape but i picture you just opening that door and shit just falling out like fucking bowling balls and like fucking board games and fucking... They were like,

they never told us anything about a showing and then they say we gave you 24 hours notice. Like, that's not nearly enough time. You're gonna need to deep clean that. What if we weren't here? Imagine if they go in with a blacklight. It's gonna be just sperm everywhere. Oh, yeah. There's gonna be sperm dangling from the ceiling like stalactites. And me and Owen went out on Saturday after this comedy show that we hosted.

And we got these chopped cheese. It was like cheeseburger subs, basically. And mine got all over my bed. There is so much chopped cheese on my bed. You ate a chopped cheese in bed? Dude, there's where else would I have eaten? It was like 2 a.m. I had another one last night in bed. It was so good. The kitchen. Why are you guys eating a chopped cheese in bed? Dude, there's where else would I it was like 2 a.m. I had another one last night in bed. So good. The kitchen.

Why are you guys eating chopped cheeses in bed? Shockingly good. Yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with eating it in bed. I legitimately let out a moan when I was eating it. I was like, oh. We don't like hang out. We'll just text each other from our beds. Really? Is there not a communal space? Something about our apartment

is just wildly depressing yeah it sounds like even in the kitchen i'm like it sounds like it's a new apartment but it feels like some like there was like a whole family killed themselves in the apartment yeah ghosts it dude and like i'm so excited to move like i'm just getting like just like being in my room and like looking up from my laptop and having that same view still i'm like ah i gotta get out of here yeah you gotta get out of there yeah it's there's a lot of bad vibes in that apartment you needed like a drastic life change a drastic you need to like get your shit etch a sketch and just i think i need to just um start getting like more exercise

yeah that could be it or maybe just like a reincarnation as a different being. Yesterday was a low. Yesterday was like an all time low for me. Shut up. I think I got out of bed three times the entire day. No way. Yeah. Count me in for also having an all time low.

I watched almost an entire season of Dexter. That doesn't sound so bad. So it's an hour long. Did you at any point relate to Dexter and be like, yes, I could fucking kill somebody. I was like, I have urges. I could fucking serial kill somebody for good. I was like, why am I experiencing urges? And how do I control them?

And Dexter's goaded because he did it for good. I'm only on season two, so don't say anything. But it is really good. I didn't watch. I didn't watch all of it at all. I watched maybe the first season. It's really good. It was getting crazy in season two.

He's like he's like a positive killer right well like only kills bad guys he's a serial killer but for good but he only killed he has a code so he only kills people who like deserve to die it's a good loophole yeah yeah for someone that wants to fantasize about having a serial killer or being a serial killer he is a serial killer but like for for someone to write the show and be like i want to i want to write about a serial killer but i don't want him to be bad yeah like i wanted to actually be a good guy the twist at the end of season one was insane i won't spoil it for you fuck it bro fuck it no i'm not gonna spoil it for the listeners this shit came out over 10 years ago yeah but like it like i've i had never seen it and i know a lot of people who

had never seen it either so i don't want to spoil it for them let's not fucking spoil Romeo and Juliet either that's not the same let's not spoil Hamlet because it's like everyone knows in Breaking Bad it's like okay Walter White dies at the end what I didn't know that everyone I'm not even fucking with you I didn't everyone knows that I literally had no idea if I didn't know that I think it would like the

show was amazing but like I knew it from the beginning when I watched that that it was like I know what happens did it make it whacker no but like towards like the last like the last season kind of is kind of ruined for you because like you know you're like okay well he's dying at this season this season yeah that's whack yeah that's fucking tough now i'm not gonna watch either of the shows well i never you don't know anything that happens in dexter bro yeah he'd fucking dies no you don't think he dies no he's definitely gonna die i have no idea it should be in the back of your mind that there's a good chance that he dies i don't think he's

gonna die i think he'll probably get caught or something like that i think he's he'll probably come out as gay too oh no isn't his sister he's like fucking his sister or something no dude there's not a sister he has a sister but he's not fucking his sister oh you haven't got to the season three yet he's definitely ruining the show for me how you just are bro you should serial kill someone i know just to see how it feels you can't serial kill one person yeah you can no you can't serial killing is killing multiple people but you have to start somewhere with no motive you got to start somewhere though yeah i guess it's true what uh how would you do it done that's so whack i could blast you right now i would fucking eat a bullet i'd catch it between my teeth like no you wouldn't you don't think i'd catch a fucking bullet i would blast your ass bro take you never try to shoot a fucking large caliber man with a small caliber

bullet brother what's that from? American Sniper? Yeah, some shit like that. Four rules. Yeah. When I was going through my war movie phase, I like memorized like the, or I like, I like tried to memorize like the Navy SEAL thing when they're like been around the world twice. Can you pull that up, Owen? Yeah. I forget how it goes.

And I think that's from the same think that's from the same quote. It's in like every, in any movie where there's Navy SEALs in it. If I send this to you, will you read the whole thing? Sure. Owen, you read it. I think it's like Stolen Valor, though.

I like your reading voice, Owen. And I'd rather him steal the valor than us, but we have too many Marines that fucking follow our shit. True. And fucking salute to those guys. That's why we got the flag up today, because we're thankful for the troops. Read that.

I didn't get it. Oh, here it is. Wow, it's really long. Fuck. Been around the world twice. I don't believe it. Talked to everyone once. Seen two whales fuck. Been to three world two whales fuck Been to three World fairs Been to three world fairs

I push more Peter More sweeter And more completer Than any other Peter pusher around I'm a hard body De-hairy chested Rootin' Tootin'

Parachutin' Demolition Double crap Crippin' frog man There ain't nothin' I can't do No sky too high No sea too rough no muff too tough been a lot of lessons in my life never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet

drove all kinds of trucks two buys four buys six buys and those motherfuckers that bend and go when you step on the brakes anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards. Oh, wine diner, twine and sneak out the back door when your refueling is done. When the refueling is done. So if you're feeling foggy, froggy, then you better jump because this frogman's been there, done that. It's going back for more. Cheers, boys.

That's how they start off every episode of busing with the boys shout out to the to the frogmen down in nashville i fucking love i love those fucking frogmen yeah those frogmen are my fucking dogs i could see us getting like canceled hard for just doing that for just having said like that would be like one of the weird things that you wouldn't expect yeah you never know one day we're gonna wake up and be like these fuckers they call themselves frogmen yeah you're not a fucking frogman you've been around the world once much less twice you haven't fucking driven the the big trucks that go when they move and there has been muff too tough for you

now there's no no muff too tough for you. No, there's no no muff too tough for my boy's ass. No, that's how we start off. We're going to start starting off every episode with that. No muff too tough.

Scene two whales fuck. I'm a hairy chested rootin' tootin' parachutin' demolition double cap crimpin' frog man. God damn it.

Damn right. Bro, show some respect to this shirt, i know what does it say frog the frog doesn't live on earth just shows up on earth and hangs out and enjoys life fuck yeah bro fuck yeah what the fuck do you know about that bro nothing because you're living on earth i'm living on earth yeah you're not a frog life yeah exactly you need to start studying the way of the frog and not frog men. I know. I got to just start doing more shit that I enjoy.

Yeah. What do you enjoy? What do you even like? Stand up? Nature. Let's go hiking. I want to, dude. There's nowhere to hike around here. Come to Tulum. Where's Tulum? Mexico. Oh, no.

Why are so many girls going to Tulum? Bro, you've got to come to Tulum. You're going to die in in tulum that's what the makeup lady said this morning yeah it was crazy i'm trying to figure she's from boston she's a yankees fan she was like oh i remember 86 and fucking in boston yeah it was fucking crazy back in 86 i don't know why you become a yankees fan if you're from boston her parents are probably from new york you think so? Yeah. My dad's like a huge Red Sox fan, which is surprising because he grew up in New York

until he was like, until he was 18. Yeah, that is weird. It doesn't make a lot of sense. She said she only went to one Yankees game this year though, and I was like, bro, we went to fucking one Yankees game. True, we did. I forgot about that. That was fun. Yeah, we need to do more shit like that. What about going to a sports game?

I would like to go to a hockey game. I love hockey. Do you? Hockey's so much better live. It is. I'd like to go to a Bruins game. Oh, no. Let's go to one of the Gaddon.

The Gaddon? The Gaddon. And the Bruins will play here eventually. Maybe I'll go to a Bruins game this week. Yes, ass. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. That'd be fun. Yeah. Use your ill-gotten stand-up money from the show you guys hosted.

Yeah, we got a lot of money from that. Did you guys actually host a show? Yeah, well, Owen set it up, I hosted. What was the cut between you two? We're both getting $10,000. Shut up. You're both getting paid in a bushel of chopped cheeses. Just going to be rolling around in chopped cheese like a pig in slop.

No, we're not going to get paid for like 10 days or something, right? Yeah, they got to figure out a good way to rob you. Yeah, yeah. They got to hope that you forget about it. Imagine they send the money straight to Barstool. Who was on the show? How'd you get the show together? Well, our buddy Jared Schwartz hosts a show there and what he just didn't want to host

the show yeah he has a show he runs a show called mama's boy comedy which they do like every week at like the stand or there and he he gave so he gave the spot to us we've had it for like a long for like over a month and uh we just got like a bunch of random comedians and they all actually end up being like hysterical. Randoms? Not randoms, but like we didn't know any of them. We know one. How did you find them?

Oh, and went to the stand like the night before and just was asking random people to come on. And did you pay them? Uh, we'll pay them when they get, when we get paid. So you're never going to fucking pay them. Ah,

fuck those motherfuckers. Got him. Got him. After the end of the show, uh, they, it's so funny how all comics talk the same. Like the end of the show and everyone's like, hot crowd, hot crowd, piping hot. And then I was at the stand like a couple weeks ago. Francis came up like smiling and he was like, really hot crowd. They just all love saying that.

What does it mean? It means like the crowd was very energetic. That they're laughing? Yeah. The crowd was steaming. I love a fucking piping crowd. They'll also say definitely a 7 p.m. crowd. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What does that mean? It means it's a bad crowd. That's what it says. Oh, really? So can it be a 7 p.m. crowd even if it's at 9 p.m.? Mm-hmm. It's just a thing that happens? Yeah.

Dude, I fucking love a hot crowd. It was a really good crowd, though. Yeah? What were they so good for? What made them so sweet? No one bombed. Everyone crushed. I mean, of course, I crushed the hardest.

Is it just binary? You either bomb or you crush? Yes. There's no in-between? I thought I did really well. Did you bomb or crush? I crushed. So you crushed.

Well, I killed, actually. Oh, I always forget about killing. Yeah. Kill, crush. Bomb. Bomb. And that's it? Yes.

It's just like three things? It's good, bad, and ugly? Yeah. Damn. I didn't realize it was that simple. It is. It was a fun show, though. It was really fun.

I had a good time. Anything new? Did you drop any new shit? Oh, yeah. A lot of Rittenhouse stuff. For real? Yeah. I was the only person that had even brought of Rittenhouse stuff. For real? Yeah. I was the only person that had even brought up Rittenhouse, which I was surprised by.

Wow. You thought it was such a hot button topic that everybody would fucking have to... People loved it. I said that they kicked off Josh Richards from BFFs and now it's Dave and Kyle Rittenhouse. That one got a big laugh. I mean... I was just off the top too. Yeah.

I'm surprised that it hasn't happened yet. No, I thought it was funny. I said that they get that Barstool signed Kyle Rittenhouse for $10 million. In the vacuum left by Alex Cooper. Yeah. So that was fun. It's one or the other.

Yeah. You got to shoot your shot. And I was just saying, it's like perfect timing for, for like that whole thing to happen that'll try to happen like a couple days before thanksgiving something good to talk about with the family yeah you can really decide i'm excited to just listen to your family yeah i'm just gonna sit back and just take notes all right is your family uh uh libs are they cool um so we're pretty half and half like my immediate family

bunch of libs and uh my extended family they're like build the wall people really yeah so they're cool as fuck that's fucking sick so yeah build another wall bro yeah they should build a series of walls like they would have to jump over in like uh american gladiators yeah to the point where it's pretty much a dome yeah just a bunch of walls or like they should build a ropes course and if you can beat the ropes course you can get into america yeah like a tough mutter yeah or yeah tough mutter the border should be tough mutter yeah and then people can just climb over the fucking and survival of the fittest honestly it'd be the best way to make give us like uh your your Tough mudder. The border should be tough mudder. And that people can just climb over the fucking... Survival of the fittest.

Honestly, it'd be the best way to make... Give us your strongest or whatever. I don't actually know what the saying is. Give us your tired and your weary and your hungry. No, I don't want them. I want your fucking boldest, strongest, fastest, mental fortitude on steroids. That's one thing I'm going to try to get in Mexico.

Steroids? Dude, you don't want the Mexican steroids. Why? No, they won't. They're cheap. I feel like, or at least I want like a cornucopia of drugs from a Mexican drugstore. Isn't that like an episode of Workaholics where he's like taking steroids and he just keeps

on taking them and then they find out it's just like PCP or something? I believe it. I believe it. Whatever, it doesn't matter what it is really that's as long as it feels like it's steroids we were watching that clip this week where he's did i show it to you i know i showed it to mike the one where adam adam devine's like uh it's like like they get a ticket and he's like bro just throw it out that's what i do with my std tests and he's like dude that's like morally uh. And he's like, dude, that's like morally dangerous.

Or he's like, that's like, what does he say? I don't know. I don't know. Morally dangerous. Morally dangerous. And then he just like slowly backs away. It's so fucking funny. What are those goats up to? I saw that fucking Adam and Blake just linked up the other day.

I saw it on their story. It made me happy. Yeah. I'm like, oh, good for those fucking guys, man. Where the fuck is Durs? I hate just seeing him on Zoom all the time. happy yeah i'm like oh good for those fucking guys man where the fuck is theirs i did actually see that and i was like damn glad to see the boys are back together yeah i was like we need to get those guys on bussing with the boys yeah but they don't they're not gonna be able to say the creed no they're not frog men no definitely not those bros have been have found muff quite too tough for them let's just say that

they've never been across the world once, let alone twice. And they've definitely never talked to everyone once. And they've definitely tried to shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet, which is fucking foolish. Which is dumb. Which is fucking stupid. Before Seth finishes his story of Saturday Night, you want to talk about Bare Bottom? That's what I was about to talk about, Bare Bottom. It's on a mission to make the most comfortable made to last menswear while giving back to communities while they're

come while they're while their shit's being made so they'll make shit and they'll be like i'm going to give back to the community bare bottom is basically giving turkeys out the back of their truck like a fucking mob boss like young dolph's homies they young dolph died and his homies still gave out the turkeys out the back of the truck. And that's what bare bottom is like. They are on a mission to better their communities

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And now that I'm going to go down to Mexico it'll give me a chance to break out the bare bottoms. To break out the bare bottoms one last time before the winter. Yeah.

But at least I mean of course they also have a bunch of other stuff. You don't have to just wear the shorts. But they're just my favorite pair of shorts. Yeah.

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for free when you spend $150. You just have to mention your experience to the good folks at Bare Bottom. Just like I'm going to tell you how good that shirt was when I fucking put it on me. I put that shit on me

and it fucking snapped in like Thanos' glove. That shit was a perfect fit. That shit was just beautiful. It framed my oblique muscles, my trapezius muscles, and my latissimus dorsi fucking beautifully. Their Black Friday sale has already started. And it's their biggest one yet. You can get 25% off by going to barebottomclothing.com barebottomclothing.com you want to tell ron about the mission you went on sass are you on a porno

right now no i was looking at the ad you have been super horny recently not true at all that's very true i was in i've never been less horny. We had to sit in bed for an ad today and as soon as I got in fucking Sass was completely rock hard. He was pitching a tent. Like throbbing or... I couldn't see if it was... Dude, that was so strange. It was less throbbing and more just like fucking Easter Island

like a fucking old rock. I don't know why it happened. Petrified wood. Why you got so hard? Yeah. It's probably just the hormone thing. And the fact that you've been working out your legs. I haven't. I haven't been working out at all. Yeah, that's bad.

I know. I haven't been taking care of myself recently. Why? I don't know. Self-love, bro. I know. Love yourself a little bit. That's why I'm pumped to go home.

I'm really going to be taking care of myself there. Get some greens in me. I actually did have a salad yesterday for uh dinner shut up bro that's so fucking green i know it was good it's gnarly it's crunchy what'd you get some radishes now i got a chicken caesar salad wrap wrap yeah that's not a salad you just say you got a wrap and you told me it was a salad you didn't have to do one of those things you could have not told me you got a salad or you could have not told me that it was actually a wrap. There was a chicken Caesar salad wrap. So it was a wrap?

It was a salad. No, you ate a pita. It was a salad wrap. But you ate a huge pita with it. No, it wasn't a pita. What's the wrap? It was green. It was a spinach wrap.

Still, that's just like 500 calories. Well, you know you need calories to survive i understand that but i'm trying to hold you accountable for those carbohydrates that you're fucking i know that you're crushing because those are just going to make you feel sluggish i'm gonna start going keto for real maybe but you got to try these new school bars yeah yeah i know i do um yeah so we got out of the comedy show and we went to we stayed there for a good bit after and we hung out and then we left when a crowd's that fucking steaming hot

you gotta stay around a little bit it's like a fucking sauna and that was fun just sweat it out and then we decided to go to we were gonna try to go to Purple Mr. Purple the fuck is that?

you decided but yeah well it's right across the street is it a famous bar that uh you would see on tiktok it's where the company party was i didn't go of course you didn't yeah didn't you get uh didn't somebody try to never mind we so we went to we went to mr purple and there was like a line out the door we went to the scene of the crime eventually oh continue we went to uh mr purple and there was like a line out the door. We went to the scene of the crime eventually. Oh, continue. We went to Mr. Purple and there was a line out the door. Oh, I fucking love this place. Mr. Purple. It sucked.

It was ass. They got the best waffle fries. But I probably shouldn't say that because they were actually like, I don't know, whatever. Did you swim in the pool on the roof? No, the pool was closed. What? Yeah. We basically, we were there for what, 10 minutes max?

But it was a long process to get in, and I was fighting to get in. Was it worth it? No, but I had to prove to myself that I could get in there. Why? Dude, so we go up to the front. That doesn't make sense. Just wait and listen. So we go up to the door.

Yes, sir. The bouncer's like, he sees our crowd. Guess we weren't good looking enough to get in. Harry was holding an open beer and wearing sweatpants i was not wearing sweatpants i was wearing actually almost this exact same outfit you've been wearing it for a couple yeah a couple weeks now and he goes it's a thousand dollars to get in and i was like i was like a thousand dollars and he's like yeah it's a thousand dollars to get in and i was like how much do you i was like how

much do you guys make and he was like and then the other bouncer comes over he was enough to get in here and i was like no one makes enough to pay a thousand dollars to get in here what the fuck were they giving away in there that it was a thousand dollars there's a lot of people swarm in next to us so then i stayed there for like a good two minutes. How many people were you with? Was it just a group of- We had a lot of dudes. Seven whites? A lot of dudes. Seven white dudes?

A lot of dudes. Seven young white men? Yeah. And we were just going back and forth. And I was like, dude, there's no way anyone is paying $1,000 to get in here. Dude, you know what I am proud of, though? And then I kept on being like- You're talking for the group, though.

That's good. Oh, yeah. And then I kind of- So then I're talking for the group, though. That's, like, good. Oh, yeah. And then I kind of... So then I was like, I'm about to do something I never do. And I'm like, I work for Barstool, if that changes anything. I was like, we have our company parties here. Can I just say that that's the... Lowest.

Gayest thing you could have ever done in your life. But I only did it because we have our company parties there. So I was like, dude, like, come on, like, cut us some slack. And then I left, and I was, or I think that was after, I think we left and I kind of like won the battle. I was like, whatever, dude, like no one's paying a thousand dollars to get in here or something. And then, so we went to a different bar. Wait, so what happened? We went to a different bar and we were having fun. And Harry's like, I have to go back. No, no. Well, before that happened, I immediately went up to the bouncer at that bar and I was like, you ever heard of Mr. Purple? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, guess how much they're charging people to get in there? And he was like, how much? And I was like, a thousand dollars. And he started like dying laughing.

I was like, do you think that? Oh, well, I forgot. It is funny in and of itself. stand-up mode on nights you have shows because i walked into the bathroom at the bar and he was he was like doing a bit to the bathroom attendant about bathroom attendance oh yeah i forgot about that that was embarrassing what was the bit didn't it bombed hard he did not think it was funny oh really it didn't kill i just had a funny thought one time where i was like i was at a fancy restaurant and like i went in and they like i was talking to the dude there and he like gives you the towel he squirts the soap in your hands turns

the water on and i was like how funny would it be if like he just started washing your hands for you like you just stick your hands out and he's just rubbing the soap together for you allow me sir yeah i thought it was spits in your hand i told that to the dude and he didn't even crack a smile well that's the one profession that like wouldn't find it funny i thought it was hilarious you ever washed these boys hands for them i wanted to do a sketch with that like that was why i came up with that's like i wrote it down i remember thinking that was so funny and uh he just gave you a stone and i know it worked because i went back to my table and i told my friends i was like the dude in the bathroom just washed my hands for me and they

all were like they were all howling. And I was like, no, I'm just fucking around. But wouldn't that be funny? And they were like, yes. Dude, but look at you. Yeah. So then I go back to Mr. Purple. I'm saying, look at you talking to strangers, leading the pack.

These are all things that you were making fun of me for four months ago. You're like, oh, you talk to strangers all the time and now you're running bit game on fucking jeans in the bathroom about his fucking gum and cigarettes that he's giving out. I'm proud of you. I feel like you're growing before our eyes. Thank you.

Yeah, and then I went back and eventually I got in. Thank you. I talked my way in. To which place purple purple yeah and then we stayed for like and then we got in there and it was it was brutal wait so so after you dropped the fact that you work for barstool which is terribly embarrassing it was really embarrassing but also it was like uh i needed it i needed i needed a w yeah i think i said that to the guy right he said i was like bro i was I need to win. Because he went back alone.

I went back by myself. And you just like- It was across the- I mean, it wasn't like I was like- No, I know. It was like a train. It was across the street. You like apples?

Yeah. Well, I got into Mr. Purple. How do you like them apples? It wasn't even that cool. Like, I opened the- I got back in there just like- No shit. People are just funneling in.

Dude, no bar is cool enough to pay $1,000 to get into. Well, we didn't pay. But I'm saying that the fact that they're even trying to charge you that shows you that it's inherently kind of uncool the dude was like trying to get me not to go in and then some other dude came over and he was like you can come in and i was like fuck you dude i ain't fucking coming in and i think i thanked him at the end of the night i was like appreciate it bro thanks for holding it down damn dude you can't you can't be saying i work at barstool i net have i ever said

that before i only said it because i was like we have company parties here you think it would change something right yeah i mean we rent out the entire bar yeah yeah yeah i don't know though just any time it's like just falls into do you know who i am territory and it's like no matter who and it worked but i'm saying no matter who you are it's like not it's not even worth it one for one the guy the guy knew somebody who works here gave me his number he was like let me get he's like do you know so-and-so and sass is like no but i know dave no no that's what we said right when we got there i was like we were like i was like oh it's all right i was first of all i was like half joking too i was like no i was like we work for bars i was like oh no it's all good we work for barstool and he's like when's dave gonna be here then and i was like 30 minutes

then they like kicked us to the street right we'll wait 30 minutes i think i came in a little too hot like i came in like looking for something to get into sounds like it i was probably out of line when i asked the bouncer how much money he made. But I wasn't trying to prove, like, he probably makes more money than me. I was trying to prove, I was like, dude, no one's paying $1,000

to get into this shitty bar. Not a shitty bar, though. It's a dope spot. It's a dope spot. No, we just threw him, we just threw him hard under the bus. And they could come

crawling back if they want to. you best not miss. Yeah, honestly. If they want to fucking get their affairs in order, we'll have a pool party there. Dude, I would love to go back and swim. We'll have a whole soiree there. We'll do a synchronized swimming event over there if they want to fucking get their

money right and fucking come back correct. Once he was in there, Sass was crushing. He was on the dance floor. Oh, really? We were there for like five minutes. We got in there and instantly we were like, alright, let's get the fuck out of here. Seven o'clock crowd or what kind of crowd was it? It was a brother. It was like a 3pm crowd. Yeah, it was dead. It was like, I mean, you get in there and instantly we were like, all right, let's get the fuck out of here. Seven o'clock crowd or what kind of crowd was it? It was a brother. It was like a 3 p.m. crowd. Yeah, it was dead.

Everyone. It was like, I mean, you get in there. Every dude there is literally like they're like they own like they own half of Google or something. They're all wearing like suits. Maybe that's why you couldn't get in. You weren't dressed in a press. No one else.

No one like has even given you the time of day. I'm going to get you a suit. I'm going to get you a bespoke suit. I have a suit. I bought a suit last year. Yeah, it's probably all... You're probably swimming it, though. No, I got it fitted and everything.

It fits your shoulders? Oh, yeah. Perfect. And your breastplate? Probably not anymore. Yeah, exactly. I fucking burst into it. The suit at the bar is polarizing.

You got some love for it, but you also got a little hate. Oh, yeah. We should talk about that. Oh, yeah. We almost fought a dude. I didn't almost fight a guy. You almost fought him because he made less money than you so let's twist this around and tell what's actually going on i he kept on asking for a job and i fucking had the backhand yeah he was like

please let me work with you on wall street this dude was crazy this that's literally an actual sentence he said he was like please let me work with you on wall street but he was also bipolar i told him that you worked on wall street that's how the whole thing started because He was like, please let me work with you on Wall Street. But he was also bipolar. I told him that you worked on Wall Street. That's how the whole thing started. Because he was like, what's up with this guy with this suit? And I was like, he works on Wall Street. I was like, he's one of those fuckers on Wall Street. I said something like that. This was after the

lettuce video that we shot in Minnesota. We went to a karaoke bar. We went to a karaoke bar on the road. Just the diviest of all dive bars. It was awesome. Opposite of glamour. And that's my kind of bar. I prefer a karaoke bar on the road just the diviest of all dive bars it was awesome yeah opposite of glamour and that's my kind of bar i prefer a fucking divy shitty bar but this guy was just a fucking devil dude he was the worst human being i'd ever met in my life he just he came up to me with two vegas bombs he's like it's my fucking 23rd birthday like fucking let's do

these these bombs i was like dude i'm driving like i'm not trying to do vegas bombs so he took them both and that was a bad idea yeah that was a terrible idea he started out fine i kept coming over and be like i'm loving your guy's vibe yeah and then the vegas bombs changed the first time he came over he was like very angry yeah the first time he came over he was like i'm loving your guy's vibe and we were like thanks then he put you in a chokehold he put me in a chokehold and was just grabbing my in that so like all i had talked to him before was like him being like i love your guys vibe and then i come back over because i was like out over at the karaoke thing and i come back over and he like puts me in a chokehold and just grabbing my sweatshirt new vintage new vintage i was like bro you're stretching out my sweatshirt what are you doing this is new vintage yeah and he actually cut my neck

he did yeah it was scabbed i peeled off the scab oh my gosh and i ate it yeah that's savage yeah it's like eating a placenta bro you gotta do shit like that if you're a true sap but uh the then he was he uh the the weirdest thing was when he went on stage did you do you remember what his karaoke song was no i didn't even know he went on he went on stage and like he was so scared to like sing his karaoke song like he he like but he had the whole thing filmed but he sang i mean i felt bad like dude he was there on his birthday alone but we were trying to show him dude i kept on being like what are you drinking like what are you doing like i'll buy you let's let me buy you a drink blah blah i asked him like

15 times but then he like took my sunglasses he was like hold them in my hand like i'm gonna fucking break these yeah Dude, it all. And then and then me and Mike were like over somewhere talking and we come back over and he comes up to both of us, puts his arms around us and he's like, I'm not no bitch. And we were like, what? And he's like, I know you guys are talking shit. And we were like, dude, what the hell are you talking about? And then just like shit like that just kept on happening throughout the entire night until

at one point, like I think it was right after i finished my song and he comes up and he puts his arm around joey and who else and mike no and mike and like dragged them off their barstool to them off like pulls them to the tries to pull them to the ground and then they kind of shoved him shoved him to the ground and he and he had like another boy he had like got another boy when he when he came up being like i'm no bitch yeah and then i was like are you with this guy i think i was like no i'm not with him at all and then mike just took him and just threw him across the bar and then security just dragged him out they or that first like everyone was like acting like we were like attacking this dude i was like get this guy the fuck out of here like you're security the

guy with like an echo fitted hat the security guard i was pretty convinced that we were gonna leave and he would just be out there with like a gun yeah ready to pop shit off i'm gonna yeah no way to celebrate your 23rd birthday but he didn't even get to hear the fucking i was gonna sing my karaoke song for him yeah when i first heard his word i went right over and i was like put on nobody likes you when you're 23 and i was gonna sing it to his fucking face and by the time i got up there to sing, he had just been an absolute dickhead to us. Crazy. A terrible dickhead.

But it is fun to go to karaoke. It's just good, wholesome fun. It's a really good time. Except for that one lady who was trying to, you know, while you were singing karaoke. Oh, yeah. The karaoke bit heard round to where. I saw someone comment and they're like, it looks like she's in heat right now.

She was an estrus. Dude, that was crazy. Yeah, that was. And dude, so one of the guys that came over, like she had like five boyfriends throughout the night. She had multiple dudes coming over and being like, come on, let's get out of here. Get back, come on.

Leave these guys alone. Come back with me. She was like not, i don't think that she was like drunk i think she was like on like heroin or something but one of them was the boys with the the guy who he like brought over yeah and uh it was like i don't fucking know that guy yeah some people thought it was staged yeah people were like i wouldn't put it past these fuckers to ask this girl to dance a fucking bit yeah another fucking bit another bit from the boys un-fucking-believable another bit from the boys over at the boy dad podcast these guys are these guys can't stop bidding out dude speaking of the boy dad podcast people should buy

this fucking hat bro yeah is that on sale the hat will be on sale for uh it's a sick for black friday let's get that merch bonus yeah we need that boner and as soon as we get that merch bonus we're just putting it straight back into the pod we're getting our own studio yes dude we're gonna buy some fucking crypto fucking go to the top bro we're gonna buy some fucking cardano and fucking just see where see where the shit takes us bro shit's gonna be awesome uh do you guys shave your cock and balls for thanksgiving so i actually did the other day i did shave my cock and my balls did you uh pull up your your the bottom of your nutsack like you're fucking like a doggy door yeah big time that's just you gotta get down there you have to get like behind your nutsack

that's where all of the bad smells generate from the taint yeah really that's where they that's where the smells are trapped smells do come from creases and that's where they that's where the smells are trapped smells do come from creases and that's the crease bro that is the crease of all creases yes bro i fucking uh i love manscaped i love manscaped and can i say it again i love manscaped i just love doing ads in general especially manscaped though because they're just specifically a good brand to make sure that top to bottom you're looking right you want to be popping your shirt off at any point in your life use manscaped do you want to be popping your pants off at any point in your life and showing anybody anything you gotta be on manscaped do you have dry

ashy skin well you're in luck manscaped's new products include the ultra premium body wash a 16 ounce aluminum bottle with a pump top that's infused with aloe vera and sea salt to keep your skin feeling clean fresh and moisturized sass your skin's pretty dry except for when you're using this Manscaped body wash, the ultra premium. It looks dry. I agree more. And they also, I mean,

usually when people have a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner, they're sacrificing something on either the shampoo or the conditioner end. Yeah. Before I had Manscaped, I was rocking a six-in-one shampoo. Six-in-one soap, I should say. It was a toothpaste. It was like dish soap. Laundry detergent.

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that will just make your shit smoother. Sea kelp extract two-in-one conditioner shampoo and both of them are super quality ingredients ingredients that will just make your shit smoother sea kelp extract that helps remove toxins while hydrating hair and scalp coconut water hydrates for a refreshing look and feel all right get 20 off and free shipping by going to manscape.com slash sun that's 20 off with free shipping by going to manscaped.com slash sun. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com slash sun. Clean up your candy cane this year with Manscaped. Shut up, bro. Roan, what are you looking forward to most with Thanksgiving this year? I'm looking forward to being thankful among family members and the beans.

What are you thankful for this year? I'm thankful for the communists in this country outing themselves and finally being on the surface about their political leanings so we can just not have any more snakes in the grass. Exactly. We know who all the fucking communists are because they fucking, they got it right in their bio right there. They let you know. I'm thankful for... Nobody asked. Oh, okay.

Okay, go ahead then. Well, well i was gonna say portnoy thankful for dave portnoy and that's about it yeah i saw him come over to your desk and i'm thankful for my haters bro dave portnoy and bryce hall my biggest haters those fucking guys bro i can't believe that shit what that dave backed bryce hall i know i know i told him i saw him the day that we got back that wednesday we got back and i was like i can't believe you went against fucking little sass he was eating meatloaf and he fucking got the message that you weren't gonna back him he shoved his loaf away and he couldn't even fucking eat for the rest of the night it's tough when it's when it's your uh it's your own team that's fighting against you but i

told him that and his only response, he's eating meatloaf? That was the only thing that he was shocked by. He's like, dude, what's wrong with meatloaf? Meatloaf would be a nice side on Thanksgiving. Really? I prefer that to ham. Meatloaf is gross. Ham's gross.

Ham is gross. I'm not a huge Thanksgiving dinner person. No, bro. I like corn cassero is gross. I'm not like a huge Thanksgiving dinner person. No, bro. I like corn casserole. And I like turkey. What about mashed potatoes and stuff? I like a couple goddamn beers. Hell yes, brother.

I had a Thanksgiving at the in-laws on Sunday this past week. That can get messy. Oh, yeah. You know how it is. But they were serving up some mad elves. Father-in-law was in your ear i'm assuming oh yak yak yeah i was knocking back the mad elves just so i could fucking feel something yeah who guys is calling that's odd i've never talked to him on the phone

before should i answer could be because you were gazo what's up brother just recording son of a boy dad no no let's talk now it involves son of a boy dad we're getting shopped you want to replace sass with plan brie on this show brie and o'malley oh fuck no I'm into it let's uh let's uh yeah let's talk offline but this is good this

is this is good stuff facts um yeah uh we'll we'll talk after got it got it and tell portnoy to get off my boy Sass's back, brother. It was sad to see. All right, I'll talk to you. Suck it off, Bryce Hall, dude. Just fucking disgusting. Damn, bro. He said O'Malley's about to take your chair.

Yeah? Yeah. She's a better company woman than you are? Probably. Yeah, 100%. What did he say? So no live shows yeah tell them i don't perform until the money's in my pocket

when i talked to prime today he's like the bag's not gonna change my lifestyle but it's gonna cushion the fall i was fucking dying and then he like heard what he said and i was he was like damn that's good let me say it again the bag isn't gonna change my lifestyle yeah it's just gonna cushion the fall that is good yeah we gotta get a quote one of those quote instagrams with that on it yeah we do we need a quote card yeah who does the quote cards for PMT? Because those are hilarious. Memes?

Who runs that? He goes by Memes. Oh, fuck yeah. That's his name, Memes. PMT Memes. You ever see him around? No. He's the one who's always,

he'll crawl out from under a desk when all the lights go out in the office. He's like, is there a mouse over there? Like I hear wrestling and rustling in big cats pile. And it just like comes out with like a Wisconsin jersey draped over his ear. Just emerges from the, from the big hats pile. Yeah. He's just grabbing a old Larry sweatshirts. Like my precious. Fucking memes.

Thanksgiving, bro. I'm pumped. I'm really excited to go home. Yeah, I can't wait to get some. I'm going to just get the lettuce out for the people. Everybody's going gaga about the lettuce. I'm about to bring some heads back for Thanksgiving back at home.

Yeah, make sure they're all even sized. Are you saying that there was a scandal in the lettuce club? I'm saying that, yeah, that's basically exactly what I'm saying, actually. Yeah, some sure they're all even sized. Are you saying that there was a scandal in the lettuce club? I'm saying that, yeah. That's basically exactly what I'm saying, actually. Yeah, some of the dudes who won the lettuce club thing literally had- A Brussels sprout. Yeah, two little pieces of lettuce.

Just sandwiched above each other. Yeah, he beat the previous record by like five minutes or something. Yeah, he breathed in and it sucked into his mouth like that hole in Eastern Europe that was swallowing paper. His boys were like, they knew he was going to it was like because you cheated bro yeah i was going to town on the lettuce you were eating yeah and i and i and i was only halfway through mine when he won there was a ton of people who were like was that sasquatch in the video oh yeah it's like yeah it was from home texting me who i like haven't talked to in years being like, bro, is this you? It's like, yeah, it's my fucking face close up.

What do you mean, is it me? It's my exact face and body with the company I work for. Yeah, I got multiple people asking me. Really? And I was like, bro, catch up. Catch the fuck up. I was like, you know this is what I'm doing these days. This is what I fucking do. They're just jealous, going to class.

Yo, what the fuck was that? O'Malley coming to take your fucking seat bro really yes really am i actually getting fired um what else happened this week what else did we do you thanksgiving thanksgiving's coming up but i mean i don't have much to say about that why you have nothing to say about that. Why? You have nothing to be thankful for, or you fucking are trying to ignore the trials and tribulations of the Powhatan tribe when they linked up with John Smith and them? The genocide that happened to the natives before us? I am trying to

ignore that. That's whack. I'm trying to put it in the past, bro. I think Thanksgiving is now more of a celebration. You play football or anything on Thanksgiving? A little family game? I to until till my uncle fucked up my mom really there was a time there was a time something like that happened in when we used to play too we're still we still play to plan this year i'm pumped yeah so i tried to get us to do paintball this year instead nothing like the time-honored american tradition of uh firing off some paint because like i have all girl cousins, and I have one boy cousin.

I have one boy cousin, not like one boy cousin. And I have three sisters and six girl cousins. And they all are too cool and old now. And they're like, I don't want to play football anymore. So I was like, let's play paintball. Those women aren't going to want to play paintball anymore than they're going to want to play football. Because they're not as good at football as I am. That's basically what I'm saying.

So what are they as good at? Getting in tactical formations and doing Navy SEAL signals? Yes. You around the corner. It'd be so fun. I got two at your six. They were like, I don't want to do paintball. It's going to hurt.

Someone wanted to do soccer or something. I was like, what the fuck? Bro, it's a fucking American Thanksgiving. This isn't troops. Yeah, we're not about to have some fucking... This isn't troops and expressions over here. I was like, what the fuck? Bro, it's a fucking American Thanksgiving. This isn't Troops. Yeah, we're not about to have some fucking... This isn't Troops and Expressions over here. We're literally having the celebration of Thanksgiving in the honor of us never having to play soccer again.

I know. Football on Thanksgiving is fun, though. I usually get really into it, and then I get really angry because we've never won. Who was beating you? It's my family versus my cousins, and we've never won. Your cousins are just it's my family versus my cousins and we've never won your cousins are just way more better way better at football than you way more athletic

it's uh it's an unfair it's a whole unfair thing and also my little sisters like end up crying every single year at some point yeah it's tough you like truck stick you truck stick a little sister one time and she starts fucking crying what happened with you what happened with your uncle and your mom it was like this was like a long i think it was like a christmas football game or something like that but we were playing on uh on like across from my grandmom's house on like the front lawn and my my like i don't even think my mom had the ball and my uncle just like full-on fucking truck stick her her feet went flying out from under her and just got fucking slammed to the ground we had a very similar thing that happened happen, yeah.

My dad took out one of my little cousins when she was probably like seven. Really? Yeah, on accident. Well, he's trying to get a win. He just wrecked her. If your side of the family... It almost could have been bad. Really? Family could have gotten separated pretty easily there. Last family Thanksgiving together.

Who would you have gone with? My family, most likely. You should just go with the winning team. That's what I would have done. Yeah. It's like, sorry, mom and dad. The cousins always win. They need to wide out.

My cousins like, like, like write down plays and shit before. And they're always, it's supposed to be one blitz per downs. That's how we do it. And what do they count the Mississippi's fast? They blitz like every single play. Cheaters. They they cheat you guys need to hire a ref i know you need to hire

a perked out ref yeah i feel like everybody who's like a ref of like uh middle school basketball or like high school basketball on drugs perks heavy yeah heavy i love the perky's i like stopped a crime at a turkey bowl one time. Really? Yeah, I was like 10 years old. Okay, snitch. I know, looking back on it. I went to wait in the car while they played because it was freezing cold.

And a car pulled up right next to us in the parking lot, got out, and just robbed four or five cars. And I wrote the license plate down. Oh, wow. Shut up. That's smart. Did you feel like a hero or did you feel like a rat? A hero until this is the first time I've said it out loud in a while.

Kind of a rat. Yeah, now you feel like a rat. Because it's like the holidays. They probably needed that. Like nobody's robbing out of joy for the holidays. It was a two-man team. Yeah? Yeah. So that made me, I don't know. What did they get from the cars? Like cell phones and shit? Yeah. I feel like it's tough tough stealing cell phones the return on investment when you rob a cell phone there's a lot of burglaries like if you think about it like most most like times where there's

like a bne or something like that breaking and entering for the uninitiated yeah bne um the payoff is probably really bad like what could someone steal from our apartment right now that would in any way be worth it? Laptops, I feel like is the only thing. Dude, but even a laptop, like, you could sell it for parts or sell it for... Also, when people rob, like, convenience stores, I think they get, like, $300. Dude, in GTA, in GTA, that's the slowest way to make money is by robbing convenience stores. And you get two stars on you. What's the best way? Cheat codes?

No, missions. No, cheat codes. No, missions. You can't do cheat codes online. Oh, well, I'm not talking online, bro. Yeah, because you're a fake gamer yeah i just play for myself yeah i play for my own enjoyment i want to have the most guns the fucking most money well i don't play gti anymore because now it's like if you go on all of a sudden you're gonna get run over by a dude in the flying car like the game's it's it's ass now too much dumb shit has been introduced to the game but um yeah i don't know um when i was the i think like the only similar thing that's happened to me like that

was one time i think stealing a car was is your best bet of a way to get money yeah i feel like something like probably lowest risk if copper is biggest payback steal copper scrapping scrapping for metal they cut down fences and shit that That's another thing junkies love to do. Just walk around with like a shopping cart full of hubcats and like pipes and shit like that. That's what Jake Gyllenhaal does in Nightcrawler. Yeah, in the beginning he's cutting down fences. It's viable. Did you get any DMs about us saying that Jake Gyllenhaal did nothing wrong?

No. I got a couple that were like, dude, seriously disappointed in you. What did he do? Why? What were we? Was it because he was 30 dating a 20 year old? Was that the problem? Yeah.

And I guess he was gaslighting her. Oh, wow. Okay. So give him the fucking chair. I don't want to say gaslighting is fake. Bro, don't even go there. But anyone that's gaslighting is probably just making it up. Anyone that's getting gaslit or anyone that's gaslit?

Getting gaslit. Getting gaslit. Yeah, bro. I don't know. That's not really something that I want to hop into. No, I'm just kidding. That's just me gaslighting the people who are getting gaslit. no i'm just kidding that that's just me gaslighting the people who are getting gaslit um but it's also you can claim gaslighting is like uh like a thing that you can kind of just like claim

without any evidence did she actually say that though that's what like the song is about the short film is about really kim gaslighting her and i guess the scarf is supposed to be her virginity can you explain what gaslighting is to the I guess the scarf is supposed to be her virginity. Can you explain what gaslighting is to the people who are listening that might not know? Because I think that there's probably like a decent amount of people who don't know what gaslighting is. I feel like it's the most like commonly used word of this generation. People love saying gaslighting. But what does it mean though?

I think it's just like when you convince someone that they're crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I think it came from a play where somebody was, the husband was telling the wife that, like, she was noticing that the gas lamps inside the house were, like, flickering. I'm not making this up. Why are you laughing? Because you're gaslighting us right now, bro. No, I'm not. That's literally where it came from.

Is it like a thousand degrees in here right now? Yeah.'m not that's literally where it came from is it like a thousand degrees in here right now yeah is it from the lights god damn it is hot i don't feel hot now you're gaslighting me bro don't fucking gaslight me bro my mom and my mom just found out what gaslighting means like very recently and now every time i'll do something she'll be like you're gaslighting me you say that to her she says it to you and i'll be like no i'm not you're gaslighting me. You say that to her, she says it to you. And I'll be like, no, I'm not. You're being crazy right now. That's literally what it's from. Roman swipes are clinically proven way to last longer and bad. They're effective, easy to use, fast acting,

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they say once you go roman you never go back back. Yeah, you don't go Rome. Roman swipes. Roman swipes. Back to Never Neverland. How was Nashville? Nashville was fun. That's a good bonding time with my boy, Matt. Yeah, how's Matt?

My boy, MP. I miss Matt. He's hanging in there. I think he's Matt. Yeah, how's Matt? My boy, MP. I miss Matt. He's hanging in there. I think he's struggling. Yeah? Oh. He doesn't get out much. What did you do for his birthday?

So I had to go down and take care of him. When was his 21st? Yeah. Was it actually? No. Oh. What happened? Did you like-

So there's like a trick question. Oh, I don't know. I thought you were going down for his birthday or something. No, bro. We just had to like, we just had to bond. I got you. Was, uh- He's not going home. He just moved last summer, so he's not going home for his birthday or something. No, bro. We just had to bond. I got you. He just moved last summer, so he's not going home to our hometown for Thanksgiving.

Why? I'm going to go see my boy. Why is he not going home? Because he lives in Colorado now. His family moved to Colorado. They live on the side of a mountain. Oh, no way. So what are they running from?

Fucking taxes or something. I don't know. Really? Or human trafficking. Maybe they're trying to get into serial killing. Yeah. But yeah, we had a good time. We tore it up pretty hard. Shut up. Where'd you go? Broadway? Yeah. You tell those crazy fucks

I love them down there? Yeah, we did. You see Glennie Balls down there? No, but I saw someone was like, oh, we just saw Glennie. I was like, what? Glennie was down there. Yeah, I don't know if he was there when I was there i think he was they were like we just saw glennie like i forget if they said they saw him that day or the night before he weekends there really he was about to text him and ask if if he was there but i don't have his number um what would you do what would you and glennie talk about i've gone out with

glennie before glennard glenn come on bro um balls balls beach so the first night my buddy had a test the next morning so we were just gonna go get dinner and then just like part ways i didn't get in until like seven o'clock anyway who pays for dinner when you guys go out we split the check i mean you should be paying for it you're paid and he's fucking in debt he had a whole thing happened where he got a lot of money it's fantastic hit by a car or something like may as well have been that's so sweet no that's not what happened he like he worked for a public golf course in our hometown and they like molested they like didn't pay him the entire summer and then like they just like got the hours wrong and paid him like twenty thousand dollars or some

shit and he just like and he like and he kept the money he was supposed to get like five thousand dollars he kept the money and then his uh his mom was like you got to go back and give the money back and so he went back and they were like no that's your money and so he just kept it why why did they do that because i don't know the whole thing like everyone there got fired i don't know it was a whole thing or there was probably somebody who like made the mistake and didn't want to like admit that they had made the mistake. Like, yeah, just fucking take it. That was exactly what happened. So we kept the money.

Or that place is making like millions under the table doing something. Yeah. It's a really like rundown golf course. So I don't know. If I had $20,000 while I was in college, I would have been the richest man in Penn State and I would have acted like it yeah and he also didn't go to college last year so he worked or the year before so he worked the entire year so he should be treating you to dinner pretty much yeah you're slaving away in new york i know getting paid pennies on the dollar paid by in barstool gift cards no you don't even get barstool gift cards give No, they give me Dunkin' Donuts. You're a Boston guy, right?

Enjoy this. This is a Dunkin' Donut. It's a $5 Dunkin' Donut card with $2 left on it. Get $2 off a coffee. I was at this Thanksgiving dinner, and they were talking about the parish that my mother-in-law was talking about, the parish where she used to work. And they're like, yeah, there's where like these old old priests used to live

and i was like oh like that's probably sweet for them it's right by the school or whatever and she was like oh no they're like troubled priests they're like people they're like bad people so she didn't get the joke no not i mean it wasn't were you not joking i wasn't even joking i would it be nice for them to be by the school because they literally work at the school oh okay but then she said that they're they're actual like pedophiles yes basically and they're just like living in a fucking house where they're just like looking after them yeah that's like what happens they just get relocated why that's like the whole thing they get they get like that was like a jealousy spotlight bro yeah they just shuffle them around just shuffle them around but i thought that they stopped usually if they get like if they like are like a diversity spotlight bro yeah they just shuffle them around just shuffle them around but I thought that they stopped usually if they get like

if they like are like a priest like a local town and they get like like someone calls them like a pedophile or says they like they got molested by them they just like move them to

like the Vatican literally that's like what happens they're like we're not like an upgrade yeah they're we're gonna promote you to live in Italy for the

rest of your life like they send them back to the Vatican but I'm like wouldn't you rather be in like in Vatican City yeah it, it sounds incredible. Yeah. It sounds way sweeter. So there's no repercussions for

pedophilia among priests? No, I don't even think they go to jail. They don't. And why don't they? Because they're not property of the state, brother. Oh, separation of church and state. The church owns them. That's why we had separation of church and state, so they could molest with impunity. It all makes sense now.

We had one in my high school. Did you? Yeah. Yikes. The boy was over 18, and they claimed to be in love. Oh, yeah, you told me about that. That's fucking... Hey, man, happy for them.

I don't know. Yeah. He might have got gas lit. And guess what the priest's name was? Jake Gyllenhaal. The young boy was named Taylor. Damn. It was the perfect storm.

That shit's devastating. I'm never going to listen to that Taylor Swift album because of everything, in light of everything that's been going on. And I'm never listening to Adele's new album either. Why? Because she's dating Rich paul who's rich paul the ben simmons agent aren't you a six years fan bro wait what really yeah she's dating ben simmons agent and so the guy who's been telling ben simmons not to play in philly has been dating adele the entire time they're probably fucking singing about it. You need to get a basketball team.

They're probably singing about it. They probably are. Fucking having little harmonized duets about how Ben Simmons is going to fuck over Philadelphia. Fuck them. Bro, the last basketball game that I watched was the one when the Celtics were in the playoffs and Rondo dislocated his arm and then just came back out with one arm.

Trying to save the game. Just flopping around. And then he was lost. He couldn't dribble because he had no bones in his arm and then just came back out with like one arm trying to like save the game just flopping around lost he couldn't dribble because he came out and like his like shoulder was hanging like seven inches below from where it was supposed to be and he was just playing with like one arm like trying to save the game rondo is uh rondo's your favorite basketball player i've heard him i've heard you mention him multiple times who's the who's like the rapper that has beef with rondo or is it a rapper or is it just another basketball player? I'm not sure. And there's like a complex video where someone goes up and they're like, yo, what's up, Rondo?

And it's not Rondo. Who did Rondo have beef with? I don't know. Bro. You should know this. Who's he badass? I don't know. Rondo was on the Lakers and they were like, they got in a massive brawl yesterday or like a big fight.

LeBron should get the fucking chair for that shit oh my god yeah he should he should be drawn and quartered they should have four horses tied to his arms and legs and have his body ripped apart I'm actually a LeBron fan

so am I I fucking love LeBron but the people that work at this company won't change my mind about that I don't give a fuck what Dan and Dave say I fucking love LeBron

I only love him because of the videos of him I see and they're so fucking funny. Yeah, he's hilarious. That's our ball. That's our ball. You know that one? Yeah, and it's like, I'm the teacher-ass, what tree is in Spanish.

He's like, that's our ball? That's our ball. That's our ball. Have you seen that? Yeah, yeah. When he gets up from the bench, he's at the end of the bench. That's our ball. Why is our ball. Have you seen that? Yeah, yeah. When he gets up from the bench, he's at the end of the bench. That's our ball. Why is my mom FaceTiming me?

I mean, I picked up from Gaz, Stephen Che. No, bro. I'm not exposing my mother to- Have you ever met his parents? To our freak fans? No, I haven't. Me neither. Is she nice?

Why would you guys have any reason to have met my parents? You met my dad. He was asking about you. Really? What'd he say? He said, how's Sass? Yeah. How's little Harry?

Is he getting some confidence in himself? Roman swipes. They were trying to hold Rondo back on the sidelines, basically, though. He was like a psychotic killer. He had a specific person that was designated to hold him back, and he was pacing like he was about to go murder

somebody. That's our ball? That's our ball? What's the other one? The come on man is my favorite one. Come on. Come on. He's like, come on man. That's too easy. That's too easy.

I'm a LeBron fan too and I get pissed off. I would have had his back except for that was an egregious cheap shot. I hate when people are like I fucking hate LeBron. I love him because he's the GOAT. I mean it's the same reason that people hate Brady

and I'm a huge Brady fan. And you. I thought you were about to relate it to yourself. It's why they hate you. It's why they wouldn't let you into that fucking club. People don't hate me.

People love me. The bouncers at Purple Door hate you. Bro, it's called Mr. Purple and don't get that shit fucked up. I tried to when when owen and i went out that's too easy um when owen and i went out uh to uh mr purple no we went to somewhere in brooklyn yeah we went to the brooklyn bowl. And the fucking line was just around the block.

And I could have tried to pull some strings at the door, and I just fucking didn't. I just saw this long-ass line, and I was like, fuck it, I'm going somewhere else. I'm not about to wait in line, and I'm not about to pull a do-you-know-who-I-am. And even despite that, somebody from the place hit me up and was like, yo, come over, come in here. See, if I was in that situation, I'd be

like, nah, I'm going to wait in line with the common man. There was like hundreds of people. I would have waited in line. I don't think you would have. Have you ever waited in line? I'm salt of the earth. You're not salt of the earth. I'm salt of the earth. I'm blue collar. No, you're spice of the earth, bro. You're spicy. Bro, my salary... You were never blue collar. I'm below salt of the earth.

You're earth. I am earth. You're just dirt. I'm just earth's core. Yeah, you're just molten lava. I'm doing dog's work over here. the earth you're earth i am earth you're just dirt just earth's core yeah you're just molten lava over here yeah you're fucking what's worse what's like below blue collar just no collar yeah homeless yeah you're on the dole i'm yankee with no brim yeah you're a janky with no brim um i wait in lines all the time dude did you wait in line just kidding because i never go anywhere where there's a line If there's a line, I'm like, okay, let's go somewhere else Exactly, that's what I'm saying

There was a line here, so I tried to go somewhere else Oh, and then they just like, caught your eye? No, I was at the other place And they were like, get the fuck back over here, legend We have a fucking We have a bowling lane for you with the owner Jesus Christ Here's some Pacifico, fucking suck this back

We want you on stage. We need you fucking riling this crowd up. Must have been nice. You guys all got to hang out. It was nice. Yeah, it was really nice. I was asleep. Yeah, I don't know why. Wish I got invited. I did invite you. Yeah, first off, he definitely did invite you. I invited you. You just weren't mad until you found out

I was with Roan. Uh, no. I was like... But that's love, though, and I appreciate that you got mad after the fact. I was not mad. And you were like, are you going to come out? And I was like, I just got home from Nashville, so i was like that's love though and i appreciate that you got mad after the fact i was not mad and you were like you gonna are you gonna come out and i was like i just got home from nashville so i was like probably not but if you told me what the plans were bro i would have gone i'm sorry just kidding i definitely it's probably for the best that i didn't go yeah i fell asleep as soon as i got home really no dexter even they're working the boy too hard i know he's fucking they're squeezing him out. He's pooped. That Minnesota cold, that'll fucking take it out of you, dude.

I didn't mind the Minnesota cold. Nashville, when I got there, dude, it was like 75. Your body must have been in shock. That's what I mean. The next day I go out and I've got pants and a t-shirt on. It's fucking like 30 degrees outside.

I had to go back in and get a jacket. It's crazy how weather's different in different parts of the United States. No, dude. I'm saying that in Nashville, it was like 75 the first day and then it was in the 30s the next day. Shut up. Yeah. That's called global warming, bro.

Yeah. Should look it up. I don't think so. I don't believe any of that shit. We're actually still in the middle of an ice age. You know, Greta Thunberg's born on the same day as rittenhouse no way same year what i didn't know greta thunberg was only great greta funberg was only 18 she's a legend what did she do she um she killed someone no she she had like some kind of like lunch program or something like that or no she was

buying bare bottoms she bought the most bare bottoms of anybody ever and she single-handedly fed an entire school of children. I think she trademarked global warming. We're trying to get... Anytime someone says global warming, Greta Thunberg gets paid $45 million. We're trying to get

Greta Thunberg and Kyle Rittenhouse on the pod. Just have a good old-fashioned debate. Yeah, debates. Like a round table or? Just a square table, though. One, two, three, four of us. And we just all fucking scream over each other until we feel heard.

Yeah. I just want to feel heard badly. I want to feel heard, bro. Well, you're not going to. But Rittenhouse, he found out a way to be heard. He found a way to get his message across. And that's what makes him different. He's probably going to have a pretty good college essay.

His whole life is going to suck. Yeah. His entire, until the day he dies, his life is going to suck. Yeah. No doubt in my mind. I mean, can you like, so, so he's proven innocent. Yeah. He didn't kill anyone.

No, but like, so, but like, so like, obviously like, yeah, he killed people, but like, so does that mean that like, he can't like, if, if he goes to apply to a job and they're like, oh, you're Kyle Rittenhouse, they can't legally not hire him because. It's illegal to not hire Kyle Rittenhouse. No, but like. It's illegal to not hire Ritten rittenhouse no but like it's illegal to not hire right now let me say that again no but like he can't like he can't have that be held against him because he has no charges right the money that he made from all his sponsorships isn't

going to change his life but it's going to make the fall easier yeah i don't know i was just thinking like how much can it affect his life if he was proven innocent or i guess it can affect his life quite a bit because who was Lily? Who was the lady who killed her baby? Casey Anthony. Casey Anthony. Like she's fucked George Zimmerman. But isn't Casey Anthony like busting it open on only fans or some shit like

that? no, no, she's not. She might be, she might have a podcast. I think that is how long do you think it'll be before written as a podcast? I mean,

he's a little fucker. You see the pictures of him with the with the proud boys oh yeah yeah he's a little fucker he's a little fucker dude he is big time he's a slime ball like he was like oh dude those pictures were crazy dude but i also think that he got more negative publicity for crying ugly than for killing those people those cry the crying videos was crazy it made me never want to go go and cry publicly because my shit's uglier than him like if that's how he's getting canceled for his ugly cry i would get destroyed for how ugly i cry cry but my like my cry is not even nearly that ugly no you're cute when you cry dude that was the ugliest cry i've ever seen yeah he definitely he had i heard that that he like flew in Brad Pitt's acting coach to

just like teach him how to fucking get a sweet ass cry. The way that he fell over was also hilarious. Yeah, it was great. I mean, it's so staged. It looked like he dropped through a trap door. Dude, it wasn't like a fall. If you fall like that, you're like, your knees go down first, your hands up. He just like straight up just like collapsed.

You see the- He looked like he got sucked into a different dimension the judge's ringtone what was it proud to be American it was the Trump inauguration song wasn't it

yeah it was it was the theme song from birth of a nation it was the Dexter theme song yeah it was the Dexter dude I was thinking about it in a way

like Kyle so Kyle Rittenhouse killed that pedophile yeah one of the dudes a bit of a Dexter move oh you're right you think he was on the list like that's a little bit of a Dexter move oh wow wow that's a good eye eventually does Rittenhouse make his own list that would be crazy if he just went somewhere again and just started killing more people like if he had a formula and he keeps on like plugging names into the

formula and he spits out his own name he's like this isn't right. I have to kill myself now. There wasn't many like riots or anything. Did you guys see any? Cause the fucking Yes there was. Right when the media wouldn't fucking cover it. Somebody drove a truck through one last night. Oh that was that?

I thought. I thought that was just a random occurrence. You think someone was just driving a truck through a crowd? I mean, it used to happen. Remember when there used to just be, like, terrorist attacks, like, all the time? The good old days? No, there was. It was crazy. People would just be driving their cars through shit. Did that happen all the time? That was when the big argument was, like, well, and people want to take away guns, how about we take away cars, too? When was this?

And people want to take away guns. How we take away cars, too. When was this? I don't remember. I just remember it was it was around the same time period where Casey Neistat lived in New York. Because I remember it was like right near his house. Casey Neistat was like making Nike videos about cars being driven through a crowd. No, but he did a whole video on it. And he was like, my family's in there.

Nike. You don't need a gun. His family lived like 10 miles away And he's like Boosted boarding Under the yellow tape Really? No like literally

Oh my god He's the goat Is he? He is He just followed me On Twitter the other day Really? Yeah I haven't DM'd him yet

But I'm going to Nice love He actually is an ugly goat He is a goat His dude His plane videos are so good Plane? I love those Plane? Plane videos I didn't see them Where he's like love he actually is an ugly goat he is a goat his dude his plane videos are so good plane i love those plane plane videos i didn't see them where he's like he's like this is what a 700 000 plane

ticket looks like oh and he just like like he's just like in a fucking like hotel room on a plane that is crazy that he turned that into his like content and you know he was getting paid for that 100 yeah it's not like nothing was coming out of pocket no he was just getting paid for it well that's what mr beast does that too like his content is oh i spent 50 million on a squid game set the mr beast have you ever seen that meme that was like mr beast like replies and it's just someone with like dropping their whole social security number and shit have you ever looked at the replies on mr beast's like twitter no all of it is just like yo what's up like hey man i know this is really annoying but like i could really use some money my dog ate my mom last night and my dad's in the hospital and like we really and then they just

like drop like all of their personal information like their address and just find a way to give me some find a way to get me money dude i love when uh i saw mr beast did the squid games thing i also saw that uh like chrissy teigen did it single person did it oh yeah chrissy teigen got did recently right but everybody's just like they totally didn't get the point of the show it's like the point of the show was to be entertaining like it's not like chrissy teigen is allowed to fucking have a fucking party there was just like the biggest losers online being like, can Chrissy Teigen just be normal for one fucking second? Yeah, I hate Chrissy Teigen, but I will agree with you. It is weird.

It's just so, it's just anything that she does, anything she does, she's like gotten to the point where she's so hated that like the pendulum's going to start swinging the other way. Because like Chrissy Teigen will like eat a fucking like dollop of yogurt and they'll be like think of the fucking cows that yeah the wine the wine one was crazy when they were like well what happened she was like craziest dinner experience we accidentally bought a two million dollar bottle of wine it's like the laughing emoji and everyone was like this money would literally change my fucking life I hate you, what really turned me off from Chrissy Teigen was when Biden was inaugurated. And like Chrissy Teigen and was it John Mayer? Maybe. John Legend, maybe?

John Legend. Is John Legend? Her husband? Is it Mayer or Legend? Legend is her husband. Yeah, John Legend. It was Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were like driving through like fucking somewhere wherever they live and they're just like hanging out their windows like waving to people like they were just inaugurated i was like what the hell is this but people won't be

happy until chrissy teigen is like in full poverty like there's no there's no move that chrissy teigen can make that people are going to be like oh sweet didn't she like make her like maid dress up for during quarantine with the old gas? Remember when Vibs had that old gas mask? Yeah. She made her maid dress up like that or something for a Twitter picture.

I mean, do you think I bet her maid was into it. Do you think her maid was into it? I don't know. We're really on crunch time right now, though, because the cameras are going to die. Okay, let's get the- It sucks because I feel like we're just getting on a roll. Yeah. Patreon.

Yeah, you guys can subscribe to Patreon to hear the rest of this. Jump over to the Patreon. It's only 50 bucks a month. Make sure you guys buy our merch this weekend specifically because it's going to be cheap. And also- And also buy before then. Yeah. So you can enter a merch bonus.

Dave's going to turn his hatred from LeBron to us if you don't if you don't buy our merch and he will fucking have us publicly executed yeah that hat's sick it is a sick hat had it I got a lot of likes

I did numbies it did numbies not this not lettuce video numbies no the lettuce video got how many 2 million likes yeah 2 million likes

10 million views that's crazy is that your most liked I think so i've never even hit a million before on tiktok what yeah that's not true yes it is i swear to god the most i ever got was the barbecue video and that got like 960 000 views likes oh yeah yeah yeah i've never hit a million likes and i don't really want to either dude if you want to supplement your income just get back in the tiktok game i don't want to get back in the tiktok game why it's a hack bro and have you

listened to gary v talk about the shit yeah because that'll change your fucking opinion instagram had this fucking moment where instagram was the thing that was getting all these influencers and now all the influencers over at instagram are pissed off because it's a fucking 18 to 24 month window where tiktok's going to be able to transcend and take you to the fucking place where you want to be. And after that, it's going to be something else. Oh, TikTok is just a way to get a bunch of followers. Download that chat.

That's where the future is. That's actually true. All right. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for listening. I hope you guys all have a good Thanksgiving. If I get murdered in Tulum. Don't eat too much turkey.

And we'll figure out our episode next week. Peace. Peace.