Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 31 - 72 Hours in Mexican Jail

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

-- Fun late night pod as Rone is coming in hot from an absolutely lawless weekend in Tulum ft. drugs, the cartel, beautiful beaches, & priceless memories -- Sas & Rone discuss their weekends, eating the rich, WAP, r/aviation, hypochondria, freestyle rap, Bourdain, Louis, the Mikes, drunk eats, pool schools, Chapelle, drinking in the woods, & much more -- Go stream "AT THE BANK" with Pardon My Take ft. Benny the Butcher (legend) -- Happy HanukkahYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is November 29th. It is Monday night. This is Son of a Boy Dad After Dark.

We're back on that After Dark shit. People are fucking everywhere in this office. They are. The city of New York. Oh, packed. And the world. And the world. Rome was just out in Mexico, but before we get into that, let's give a big thanks to

our proud presenting sponsor of today's episode, Dat Chat. Woo, woo. Roan's episode, Dat Chat. Whoop, whoop. Roan, you know Dat Chat. I fucking love Dat Chat. And I love Dat Chat too. I stay on the fucking platform. The thing that I love most about Dat Chat is that it's an awesome new social network and messaging app that a bunch of us here at Barstool are using. It gives you unlimited level of privacy.

You can't screenshot. You can set your messages to disappear. If you have a crazy night out and you have a bunch of drunk texts, you can use the nuke effect, which will delete all of your messages and there will be no trace of them ever have happened. I love that one. No cap. Sometimes when I get really angry

and it's a late night and I'm texting Dave from DatChat saying all these nasty things like, hey, I want more money. I hate you. And then I realize, I'm like, I shouldn't say this to my boss. I actually love him.

And I'm like, I actually don't think that way about him. And I think I actually get paid too much. And then I usually, I nuke it. I nuke the message. It's perfect for when you call your boss daddy, actually. It's like, oh, I didn't mean get paid too much. And then I usually, I nuke it. I nuke the message. It's perfect for when you call your boss daddy, actually. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, I didn't mean to call you daddy. I didn't mean to say that.

I didn't mean to call you dad, dad. I mean boss. So I nuke the message. The message is, and then I usually say, hey, I'm looking for a pay cut. I want to be down 50%. I want to work here for, I want to pay you to work here. Give half of my money to the pandemic workers

and the first responders and all the nurses at the hospital, the hardworking doctors that are taking kickbacks from the heroes from Pfizer, Johnson and Johnson and GlaxoSmithKline. Go download the app now and make sure you join our show page to talk about all of the shit that we talk about on here. We're always talking on Dat Chat. For example, conspiracies, corruption, sex, rock

and roll. That's the kind of shit we talk about. Download it for iPhone and Android in the app stores right now, or go to datchat.com slash barstool to get more info. Download Dat Chat. What else is there to fucking say, bro? There isn't much more to say. Not much more to say than that.

Just download the shit, bro. You'll be having the fucking time. It's better than sex on a roller coaster. It is. And shooting guns. And that's a direct quote from DatChat HQ. Jack Dorsey is leaving Twitter to run DatChat. To go to DatChat.

Because he thinks it's the future of messaging and social networking. Him and Zuckerberg are going to do a crossover collabo on DatChat and fucking take that shit to fucking outer space, dude. DatChat is basically the metaverse, but in your phone. It's a metaverse. Yep. Like beta that you can download. Shit's incredible. It is incredible.

Thanksgiving was this week. Do you have a good Thanksgiving? Oh, my God. I fucking love that shit. You know what, though? Didn't get enough turkey. Oh, you never do. That's the worst part about Thanksgiving is there's never enough turkey to go around.

Or your uncle's not racist enough. Nope. My uncle carved the turkey this year. Impressive carve. Did he use an electric knife? Oh no. I don't understand when people use an electric knife. He doesn't fuck with the electric. He's only a manual guy. Really? He's always had a way with the blade. Yeah? Yeah. Is he nice with it? Oh, he's nice with it. Dude, you don't learn how to cut. That's something. He's only a manual guy. Really? He's always had a way with the blade. Yeah? Yeah. Is he

nice with it? Oh, he's nice with it. Dude, you don't learn how to cut. That's something, there should be a class in school about cutting. Because you don't learn how. You know what they say the best way to learn how to cut a turkey is? A human flesh? Cutting open a human. Cutting open a still. And he actually spent years on the table perfecting his

skills in the blade. He was a surgeon. He was a surgeon? So it's no surprise that he can properly remove the innards of a, um, of a Turkey flawlessly. Dude, you know what I heard on Thanksgiving that a lot of surgeons don't actually do their own surgeries that you have to read the fine print. Otherwise there's going to be some schmo,

some fucking asshole off the street. Yeah. Just a Harvard intern, some jackass nursing student just fucking wielding the knife around. They never carved a fucking turkey. And is it me or are nursing students always bitches? Not in the girl way, but like they're assholes. But yeah, they are.

I know a couple of nursing students and I hate them. And in the girl way too, though. And in the girl way too. There's like a nurse... There must be a nursing college by where I live and they're always outside in little circles huffing cigarettes oh they fucking crush they love cigs my health teacher my health teacher in high school used to smoke so many cigarettes really disgusting pig shame yeah you shouldn't be allowed to be a health teacher if you've ever even touched a cigarette yes if you do anything unhealthy

but especially cigarettes, the most unhealthy thing that humankind has ever done is fucking smoke cigarettes. It's also legendary. That and not wearing a seatbelt. Yes. That shit's fucking legendary. Yeah.

I like to go on Dat Chat and fucking take silly pics of me. I like to drunk drive and then record myself drunk driving and then I send it to Dave usually. And then I just nuke him as soon as I wake up. It's like, hey, what were those datch hats you sent me? I never got to open them.

I'm like, oh, you'll never know. You would have liked to see those. It was fucking crazy boss, man. It's usually me hammered driving 90 miles per hour in the left lane, lights off on the car. I like to throw it in neutral. And I'm like, I hate you! I'm like, look at what you made me do!

Look at the monster you've created! And then I usually wake up in bed, fine. And then I nuke the messages as soon as I wake up. And usually it's, he hasn't seen them yet. Because he sleeps in. Yeah, and you're an early riser. I'm an early riser. You still have the grind. He's gotten paid, so he's getting

a little... He's getting a little iffy with things. Yeah, he he's getting a little iffy with things a little fat around the midsection yeah i'll throw it in neutral i'll climb into the bed of my pickup truck and i'll see if i can get back into the driver's seat before it like hits anything yeah i like to throw like a cinder block on the gas and i remove the brake just no brake whatsoever I'm like, let's see how far we can get before crashing. It's a fun game. It's a fun game to play around Thanksgiving too. Oh yeah, because people will assume you're drunk. But you're not.

You're just high off life. You're high off working at the fucking greatest company in the world. You're high off canceling cancel culture. Yeah. Also, oh, I know, I guess Cyber Monday will be over by now. Thanks for everyone who bought the hats.

They sold out within 10 minutes. Yeah, the shit is going crazy. The people love it. I mean, the support is overwhelming. We fucking love you guys. They said that we outsold fucking chicken fry. Yeah, which is hard to believe what we did. With one item.

I actually heard that she came up real short of her goal this term. yeah she was going around the office passing the hat around asking for people to throw money for christmas presents yeah see if she could which is a shame it's a shame to see someone fall from that great i hate to see the homegirl down bad yes from something that she created and built it from the ground up and then it's all destroyed well yeah and and it is destroyed there's no coming back i won't lie i found this part in my take uh sweatshirt in which i do not endorse why but it is comfortable well they're enemies of the podcast why i thought that they were the home i thought that they were the big homie well anyone who's has a better podcast a bigger podcast than us is an enemy and anyone who's lower is like do not deserve the time no i don't even think that they will even look at them i won't make eye contact

with fucking but um 85 south i was looking at this sweatshirt and i was like oh and then i saw a bunch of brown chicken fry ones and i was like damn these are actually nice as fuck because they got her merch on like the louis vuitton sweatshirts oh it's all cashmere yeah it's amazing and i was looking for one but they only had them and it was like there's like a there was like a little stand outside and they all they only had them in mediums and smalls and i was like you kidding me it's fucking whack you think these guns are gonna fit into a small let alone a medium let alone a small yeah there's no fucking way you're gonna burst out of that bitch i know they had me put on a large today for the thing and i was my biceps were exploding through it.

Yeah, we got to get whatever chicken fry sweatshop is. Whichever sweatshop she's going to to outsource. She's definitely out in Vietnam. Vietnam. And we're in fucking we're like a little Shanghai bullshit mom and pop operation. Not even. Not even Shanghai. We're American. We're Wuhan. Oh, that's how you know it's bad.

Which is the bottom of the barrel. You know, that's how you know this shit's bad they make it right down the street yeah it's american apparel stop making walmart they got walmart making our stuff yeah but you can't even find it in walmart just that we just use it we borrow their manufacturer um shout out to the walton family merry christmas to them hopefully they can they can send us like a little bit of money whatever they can whatever they can muster up would really help a lot. The Walton family. What do they have?

Three of the top ten richest people and they're all in one family or some bullshit like that? Yeah, something like that. Fuck them, dude. I want to fucking eat the fucking rich, bro. I want to eat them. I want to eat the richest pussy so bad. Speaking of pussy, I didn't tell you about this, but I did tell Owen and Nick and KB. You getting pussy?

No, no. Super uncomfortable conversation with my uncle this weekend at Thanksgiving. Over the turkey? No, no, no. Luckily, it was after dinner. Was he asking you if you like breasts or thighs and he wasn't talking about the meat? It was so much worse than you could possibly imagine. You getting a lot of that primo top cut bush working at Barstool?

Way worse, way worse. Yeah? So, i'm sitting there i'm talking to one of my uncles how many did how many uncles do you have or how many were around two two and your dad two of my dad okay so i'm talking to one of my uncles luckily my dad wasn't there i don't know what i would have done if he was there um so i'm talking to one of my uncles about work and he's like saying he was talking to some guy that he works with and like he knew me from barstool and then my other uncle a little bit older a lot older he's like oh he's like oh yeah harry i've seen some of your stuff he's like i looked up you on instagram and i was

watching some of your videos and he's like so like he's like you make the videos about the wet pussy and i was like dude my face just went from zero to a hundred just beat red i was like what and he was like that's like your whole he kept going that's your whole shtick wet pussy and he just kept on does he think you're stew finer i don't know he just kept on saying wet pussy what the fuck and me and my uncle i'm like so uncomfortable and i'm just like laughing uncontrollably like because i'm like in shock at what's happening yeah and because he's like we've barely I barely even speak to this guy and he just keeps going yeah you're shtick it's wet pussy what the fuck is he did you say but lead me to the wet pussy I was like no no I was like no that's not my brand or anything at all and he's like no I've seen one of your videos so you do you do the wet pussy videos what is

he talking about he was talking I'm assuming he was talking about my uh but i did the video like over a year ago like reviewing wop the song and that's what he thought it was what he's talking about he just missed last thanksgiving altogether i guess because it was covid yeah he just had his talking points written down and fucking memorized one from a whole year ago so that's what i'm assuming he was talking about but that was like i did a video and i was like if you know me you know i love wet ass pussy um and that's why i loved the new song with cardi b and megan the stallion and he knows you're joking about like like you wet pussy he has no he has no idea oh he doesn't now and um yeah it was so uncomfortable that's fucking terrible so how'd you get out of the conversation so then I get out and I go tell all my cousins and stuff.

And I'm like, I just had the most uncomfortable conversation with your dad. And then my aunt comes up to me and she was like, oh yeah, he said the same thing to me. And he was like, yeah. So Harry's whole brand is like wet pussy. What the fuck? So uncomfortable, dude. Like I'm like sweating even just thinking about it right now. Yeah.

You're misunderstood. You're a misunderstood artist. I was in disbelief when he first said it like that didn't just come out of his mouth and then he proceeded to say like eight more times i'd rather talk about george floyd with my uncle than fucking wet pussy what the fuck yeah damn it's a good brand though maybe you should pivot maybe he's onto something i know i asked stu finer like one time or he was like i used to like be all like have a whole different clientele but then i came to barstool everyone's young so what do they want to hear about pussy yeah that's his brand but but it's like a calculated like intentional thing that he does like to like on purpose talk about pussy to like feel and appeal to to the youth yeah yeah i think i remember you

saying you told me that maybe i told maybe I said it on this very fucking show. You might have. That would be fucked. Repeating bits. Not my fucking bit. Not my best bit. So this show just steals bits from their own show? From itself?

It's just recycled bit? They just tell the same bit over and over again? Bit after bit. Shtick after shtick. Dude, I don't understand when people come up to us that work here, like people who are a little bit older, and they're like, great work with the pod, don't really get the jokes, but

I can't keep up with that young stuff. That's a good way of saying you never have listened. Yeah, what are we talking about that someone would not understand? It's like the most relevant and pop-cultural shit. We don't talk about anything that no one would understand. Yeah, that front page news you're talking about is over my head.

But it sounds good. I'm happy for you. Good for you, kids. But it's a little out of my territory. The TikTok and everything that you're doing on the Twitter machines. I think they just assume because I'm young that that's all we talk about is freaking Charlie D'Amelio and Addison Rae. They don't know that we're fucking an erudite bunch. I think Dave thinks that too.

That he's like, oh, they're just doing a running shtick game. I don't know about you. I don't know if I would say you were grouped into this, but like, me, KB, and Nick are grouped so hard into the same group of people. By whom? Would you say everyone at the company?

Weird Brains? Yeah. They put you in the Weird Brain category. They put us in like, they act like we're like circus clowns, like freaks. I think that it comes from a point of intimidation. I don't know what it is, but I think that we're grouped into that. So I think they all listen to Anus and then they just assume that Anus is the same exact thing as our podcast. And they're vastly different. They like to talk about buttholes and like poop.

They take things to the next level. So I'd say we keep our things on a more of a PG-13 level. If you want to hear R-rated content and that shit is fucking... Stick around because things are about to change right now. Yeah, this is about to get real fucking raunchy.

I am hot in this room right now. Dude, peel that fucking pants off. Dude, I'm sweating in my legs. You know when you're like your calves are sweating, that means that something's not right? Dude, I... Yeah. How was Mexico? It was fantastic.

I want to talk about Mexico, but I also... I'll talk about sweaty undercarriages if you want to. I feel like my ass is getting thicker and my fucking gooch is getting fucking more warm than it's ever been in my life because I'm fucking... I'm at peak unhealthiness of my entire life right now. Yeah's bad ever how do you get out of it you dude i don't know i i've come to the conclusion that i need to move somewhere where there's a gym there's a there needs to be a gym right near my apartment because the reason i don't go to the gym every day here is because it's i have to go right after work and when i was at my old apartment i could go home

for like an hour. Chill. And then go to the gym. But now it's like I have to go from work straight to the gym. And it becomes a lot. My entire requisite. I need that break. Of apartments that I was looking at. When I moved into the place I currently live at. Was like I needed some place that had a gym in the building.

Yeah. I didn't care how good the gym was. But I just need to be able. I don't want to walk outside. And be freezing fucking cold. To go to the gym. I like the walk. You do?

Because sometimes my pre-workout fans will understand this. Shout out to the pre-workout fans. Sometimes when you take pre-workout and you go outside, it activates the pre-workout. The oxygen infuses it. Yes. I don't know why, but it does. And I know it does. Yeah, it's that oxygen shit it does yeah it's that uh that especially if it's

cold outside you gotta just i think just walking around like after meals i feel like walking around is just healthy yeah and i just don't walk any like dude i think it's just the location of i used to walk all the time in my old apartment and now just i mean you've plotted out like the most treacherous path between where you live and where you work yeah it should be like a walkable cool like path for you that to to encourage you to walk yeah you have that i mean i can't walk in but i do what are you walking over the brooklyn bridge i bike no you don't what bro how many times have you biked into how many times have you biked in total three times because every time bike, it's like a big deal. I bike home.

It's like, oh, yeah, Rowan's biking to work today. I bike home a lot at the time. Everyone's going around the office. Yeah, Rowan bikes today. It does give you way more respect. Anytime someone sees me on the street, like I ran into like Brandon Walker, like Fran, like biking home, like, wow, like this guy's really fucking biking. This guy doesn't care if he gets fucking smoked.

Yeah. How long does the bike ride? About 20 minutes. That's nothing. really fucking bike yeah do you uh this guy doesn't care if he gets fucking smoked yeah how long does the bike ride about uh 20 minutes that's nothing 25 minutes that's a good bike you take the electric bike i try to get the electrics just going up that hill is grueling if i had the if i had the manual bike i wouldn't i i don't bike yeah the manual is fucking those things are like it's like they designed the slowest possible like it's the hardest work but like you the little the smallest outcome. Have you ever taken out the mechanical though and they're not charged? The manual?

It's just a heavy ass manual. It just turns, it becomes a manual? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or have had them die in the middle or like. Never had them die, but you notice about 30 minutes in they start slowing down. Yeah, it's just. down yeah it's just also i noticed that like when i had the manual i used to go on drives like around along the water and i would bike the whole entire like length of manhattan basically and then if you check your bank account after they're just charging you like

500 for every like minute that you go over the limit i see you've decided to keep the bike because like bitch i didn't keep the bike i'm just still using it now they charge you by the minute they used to have a used to you just pay an upfront amount and then they would charge you extra if you went past 30 minutes but they charge you like 45 extra if you go past 30 minutes but now they don't do that i'm so shitty at buying like the the full passes for things yeah like i should buy the whole pass for like an uber like i uber enough that like if i did like the a certain amount of rides and you get like a certain amount of rides and you get like a certain amount of free rides

or whatever or like I should just get the yearly city bike pass. Yeah. Which is like $180 for the entire year. Instead, I fucking rack up like

three $8 charges a week or something. Yeah, I do the same thing. Some dumb ass shit like that. That's not right. Some bitch made shit like that, bro. Should we do an ad? Let's talk about bird dogs.

Let's talk about bird dogs. The fucking goats, bro. God damn, I'm sweating, dude. Really, bro. Should we do an ad? Let's talk about bird dogs. Let's talk about bird dogs. The fucking goats, bro. God damn, I'm sweating, dude. Really, bro? Wish I had my dogs on. Your dogs will be breathing. Your dogs will let you breathe. But they also have the pants, they got the joggers, and they have built-in silky soft

underwear for that penis. Yeah, and I need clean underwear underwear which is the problem what do you mean my shit's stanking right now like today or just as a rule for you as a person today really you ever like sit down and just get a whiff of yourself yes coming from the crotch yes and you're like oh you've been you've been coming on yourself no that's not what it is you've been coming on yourself. No, that's not what it is. You've been pooping and not wiping well. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit and it's sweat from my ass.

Dude, I have a I've said this before like eight times on the podcast. I have a sweaty gooch and there's literally nothing I can do about it. No, there's one thing you can do. And that's get some fucking bird dogs. They stole Lululemon's designer and now they're just...

They kidnapped him at gunpoint. They fucking dragged him out. They fucking gotten it. And guess what his name was? Francis Ellis. Dude, that used to be on every one of my Instagram ads. I would see that ad eight times a day. You'd be rolling in dough from that thing

oh yeah he's like the face of bird dogs I think he has an ownership stake yeah he's either the bird or the dog I'm not sure which one or both

but fucking salute to him bro you gotta have Francis come in man yeah what do you think Dave would do if he saw fucking Francis come in nothing I bet he would fucking he would start chasing him

around the office Francis would be fucking climbing over shit no way like the floor is lava no way he wouldn't give a fuck he would chase him down it wasn't like he like assaulted him around the office. Francis would be fucking climbing over shit like the floor is lava. No way. He wouldn't give a fuck. He would chase him down.

It wasn't like he assaulted someone in the office. With his words, he did. And that's worse. And that's exponentially worse. He put all of our fucking livelihoods in danger. Did he get fired because he murdered that girl? Yeah. Yeah, he fucking...

That's not very barstool difference. He pushed her off the cliff himself. He's a fucking barbarian. You don't fucking kill girls and continue to work here. No, that's not Barstool. The shorts are absolutely elite and the pants blow the Lululemon ABC and Commission pants out of the fucking water.

They're the only pants that you should own. And I mean that. The only pants that you should be putting on your lower region. The joggers just came out. They're selling out fast. Get them while you can. And honestly, it's really one of the best promos that we've ever had over here. Go to birddogs.com and a promo code son, and they'll throw in the free bird dogs. Whistle it is awesome to play with it actually would have been great for thanksgiving yeah it's a good thanksgiving toy i threw the whistle football through my fucking uh through my living room and it fucking knocked the turkey the fucking stuffing and the mashed potatoes off the table ruined thanksgiving and no one was even

mad almost mad because they were still throwing it and they were and they were all wearing bird dogs laughing crying some crying crying from laughing so hard and also tears of joy tears of that because they were still throwing it. And they were all wearing bird dogs, laughing. Crying. Some crying. Crying from laughing so hard. And also tears of joy. Tears of joy. And tears of gratitude. And gratitude. I mean, there's so much to be thankful for this time of year. That's birddogs.com promo code SUN and boom free bird dogs football with your pair of bird dogs.

You will not take those things off. I fucking promise you. Be fucking grateful, dude. Show some fucking respect to yourself. Show some GD respect, GD-it. You fucking Gidget. What are you asking for for the holidays? What do you want? I don't know.

I'll get you a Christmas present. I'm not going to get you shit, bro. I know, but I will get you one. If you want to just Venmo me like $2,000, that would be cool. You're in bonuses. I don't know what I'm going to get for Christmas. Maybe some infusions? Transfusions?

The transfusion mix? Maybe some transfusions from the Foreplay Boys? Yeah, from Riggsie. I heard Riggsie gets $5 for every pack of those that they sell. They better. That's why he just bought that house at Pinehurst. Is that real? Did he really buy? I didn't know if that was sell. They better. That's why he got that. He just bought that house at Pinehurst. Is that real? Did he really buy?

I didn't know if that was just a podcast promo, but I think that they're, I think he might have bought a house at fucking Pinehurst. I was talking to a kid one time.

Is he a billionaire? He probably is. He just bought a house today as well. What the fuck? What's going on at 4Play that they're a fucking... Dude, they sell so much merch.

They have a house We gotta start selling that like Brianna Chicken Fry and 4Play merch. We need to change sweatshops. They must be hitting merch bonuses every day. We have the wrong sweatshop suit. We need to go and talk to the sweatshop workers.

Let's just make our own Brianna Chicken Fry merch and start selling it. I think Caleb tried to do that one year. He just put Big Cat's face on his sweatshirt and fucking sold it. He's kind of genius. That's awesome. We should put the boss man's face. What was I just going to say? I forgot what I was going to say.

You can't cancel Dave. Put that on a fucking shirt. That'll sell out the fucking ruse. And then we'll go to the fucking moon together. I would be in the sweatshop myself stitching that thing together. We were talking about Christmas presents, bro. What you want for Christmas?

What you're asking for? Yeah, I don't really have much that I want. Cause I have so much money. Like everything I want, I already have. What do you give the man who has everything? Nothing. You know what I would want?

Knowledge. Knowledge. Some lessons. A red, a lesson. I had like a minor, um, well,

I'm not going to say what I was going to say. You better finish the sentence. Cause it sounds like you were having relations with a minor. Minor, well, I'm not going to say what I was going to say. You better finish the sentence because it sounds like you were having relations with a minor. I had like a minor, I don't even know what the word I would use is. Well, I do know exactly what the word I would use is. I had like a minor burst of autism over the week. Really? Yeah, I got really into planes.

Really? Just watching a lot of plane videos. That's a major burst. It is. Oh, it was. I started looking at online. I started looking at Amazon. I haven't. Right now, in my Amazon gift card.

Are you going to buy one? My Amazon cart? No, I have a model plane kit that I'm going to build. Wow. I got really. I thought you were like learning facts. If you're about to build something. I was going to build a model plane.

If you build one, that's a diagnosis. Yeah. And that's all you need, really. It was. They are really interesting, though. No, they're not. They are. I was going to build

the Airbus 380. Or no, it's not the Airbus. Fuck, I forget what it is. It's like the biggest plane. It holds like 800 people. Dude, I saw a fucking plane. And I think it's weird because I'm terrified of planes,

but now I'm obsessed with them. Because you're trying to overcome your fear. It's a coping thing. I saw a plane at the Boeing factory when I was in South Carolina a couple weeks ago and it was the fucking biggest plane I'd ever seen in my life.

It's like a plane that transports planes. It's probably the A380. It might have been the A380. If I had to guess, it was the A380. Oh, and pull up the A380 for us. And put that up. Yep. Yeah, it was the A380.

They put other planes on this plane. Is was the A380. They put other planes on this plane. Is it the A380? They gotta look it up. They just stack planes on top of each other. Oh, and Google how many people the A380 carries. I believe it's like 856 if I had to guess. I believe it is around 800. You guess.

867. 867. 853. Fuck. I should have gone lower. Not including the captains and the crew, of course. Dude, do some planes have two stories? Do some planes have upstairs?

I think this one might. Yeah, I think Air Emirates has some of those. That's fucking wild. So this is a big plane. I'm desperate to get on some. I'm on Reddit right now, I'm subscribed to Barstool reddit, Comptown reddit And Aviation reddit Those are my Those are my three sub

Yeah that's like the three that you need to If you're going for autism You might be able to will it into your body If you just go to those three If you subtracted If you subtracted Barstool and I was only subscribed To Comptown and Aviation That's like you have autism What about Barstool and I was only subscribed to Comptown and Aviation, that's like, you have autism. What about Barstool?

No, because Barstool people, they're autism deniers. They think it's all a hoax? Yeah. They think it's a hoax by the government? It was created by the libs, the liberal cucks. All the symptoms of autism aren't just what it means to be a man. They're just mad at us for being... Bunch of sheep on the left.

Bunch of lib cucks. Soyboy fucking neckbeards. They're not real fucking men. They don't fucking love the miracle of flight. I'm trying to get on the case. It is a miracle and I still don't understand it. You don't have to. How could something fly with that

many people on it some dude's been coming up on my tiktok algorithm and he basically has cured my fear of uh flying turbulence of turbulence he's like no turbulence turbulence since like the 60s i don't think like turbulence is scary but it's not like it shouldn't be rational he's like this inspiring ass dude who just walks around new york and inspires the fuck out of people. Yeah. And he's like fucking wise and he's young and it pisses me off, dude. He's way too fucking young to be as wise as he is. Yeah. I might fucking play one of his shit. Yeah.

Apparently turbulence doesn't crash planes. It doesn't. It hasn't crashed them in like 30 years. Yeah. I think maybe even more than that. But very crazy because like you'd think when turbulence... I actually had a weird scare when I was flying home from Nashville the other week that I thought I thought our plane was going down

the whole time. I fucking bet you did. Super weird shit. We just started randomly dissenting and they didn't go up. They didn't come on the thing and be like, we're entering our final descent. And is that when you were with me and they just bounce right back up? No, no, not that. Not that time.

But in like the time. But the pilot came out of the cockpit, which I didn't like at all. I was like, what the hell are you doing out here, brother? Who's flying the goddamn plane? He was ghost riding it. And then the flight attendants were going up and back and forth and I'm like, they're not gonna

tell us. I'm like, we're going down right now. No, but you could always tell in the flight attendant's voice. Dude, I was so close. This was the closest I've ever been. I was about to ask the flight attendant if everything was okay. Because I was so anxious. Get this thing on the ground! Yeah. Is this the one?

This guy's just always talking about... That's so horrible, and now I'm in a... Oh no, it's raining. That's so horrible, and now I'm in a really bad mood is it oh i hate this sound that's happening you see everything is just happening and we label them as good or bad based on our perception but you don't have to label it this dude's like 23 walking around new york he's like

pulling that shit off of instagram he's's just putting together fucking long ass Instagram clips. But he had one that made me think he's like flying is or like turbulence is feels scary, but it's not actually. And since then I've been like, yeah, I'm not fucking scared of this shit anymore. I was like Kevin McAllister coming outside like I'm not afraid anymore. It is surprising

because you were really scared. I used to be scared. Yeah, not anymore though. And I'm a fucking man. I'm not as afraid of turbulence at scared. I used to be scared. Yeah. Not anymore, though. And now I'm a fucking man. I'm not afraid of turbulence at all. I'm not afraid of turbulence. It is scary, though. I have never gotten the turbulence where people are falling over. Yeah, you will, though.

I know. The scary... I think about this a lot. The worst car accident of your life is coming. Bro, don't say that. Shit is spooky, bro. It should be spooky when you think about it. You're nuts.

I already flipped a car. Did you really? Yeah. When? This weekend? Last fall. Did the Eagles win the Super Bowl or something? No, I was tweeting like a UAB clip.

Just flipped a Jeep. What? What? Was it worth it? No. I got like two likes. You flipped a Jeep? Yeah.

You're just like bloody around a broken glass trying to finish the tweet? No, I was fine. Did the car get hurt? Yeah. Totaled? Mm-hmm. Jesus Christ. And they wouldn't believe me that I wasn't on pills.

The guy wouldn't yeah the cop he was just like you're throwing your life away did you tell him you were texting no

oh well obviously then he's probably like well then how did the car flip over it just happened I don't know I don't know what happened someone attacked me

two racist guys came out of nowhere what you're due for one a car flip mm-hmm I've already been in like eight car accidents exactly except most of them just involved in me crashing into something that

was stationary it's actually like i've crashed into so many things it's funny as fuck whenever you're like a slow motion car accident dude every time i got every time i get in a car accident it's just like the biggest feeling of just like fuck me like how did this happen yeah it's a terrible feeling the first time i got in a car accident i uh i've told this story before i think but i was driving it was the it was the first day i drove with my friends i just got my license that week i was trying to change the song on the dashboard just drove straight into like a massive rock like a boulder and i was like fuck me dude was there damage yeah and i drove my buddy home really cracked the front light like the headlight

whole bottom of the car was fucked up and i called my mom when i got home and i was like when i was dry when i dropped my buddy off and i was like i hit a rock and she was like what like a pebble it's like why the hell would i be calling you if i hit a was like, I hit a rock. And she was like, what, like a pebble? I was like, why the hell would I be calling you if I hit a pebble? Mom, I hit a pebble. Do you think it's okay? And I was like, no, Mom, like a boulder. And then I told her, and she was like, okay, that's fine.

And then I woke up the next morning, and they were like, they acted shocked. They thought the rock that I hit was smaller or something. I was like, I called you guys and I told you that I hit the rock. Did you downplay it or did they just think that your good boy couldn't be possibly capable of doing some shit like that? That's what it was. And what else? Didn't your mom think that you were cross-eyed? Yeah. We talked about that today on the act.

What? That was when I had to go get tested for brain cancer. But you're not cross-eyed no she thought i had a lazy eye which i do sometimes when i'm really tired i get a lazy eye well that's it fuck it you better tell it to wake the fuck up and um yeah and like i had a lazy eye and my mom um was like we have to go to the doctor to get your eyes checked and i was like okay and then like a week later my cousin told me that we and like nothing it was fine nothing happened and a week later my older cousin told me that it was because my mom thought i had a brain tumor that was like fucking with my eye and apparently my

mom like cried because she literally thought i had a brain tumor and everyone's like oh why are you such a hypochondriac it's like why do you think i called my mom when i was a freshman in college and i was like i have such a i was just talking to her i was on my way to the library to print something before class and i was like oh my neck is so stiff right now okay i must have slept wrong and she was like that sounds like meningitis because like apparently a symptom of meningitis is like a stiff neck it sounds like a really old disease that people don't get anymore that doesn't it sounds like rubella doctor doctor. Yeah, that's funny. Everyone at UMass has meningitis.

There was a massive breakout there a few years ago. Oh, really? Yeah. I think a lot of people died. Really? From meningitis? Why don't you take that goddamn smirk off your face for 10 seconds. This is still funny to me. You're fucking super soft. If you go out to meningitis, if you go out to some

1800s diseases you're fucking soft the black plague yeah she like like your body darwinism didn't work on you like like your body didn't progress you haven't evolved as a human being speaking of which should we touch on the south african plague that's currently plaguing our country what is it called? The Omicron? The Ivermectin. No, Omicron. Oh, Overcrom? Omicrom is the variant. Ivermectin is the fucking horse tranquilizer that fucking Rogan's peddling. Oh, okay. Probably trying to make a ton of fucking cash off it, piece of shit.

He is a real piece of work, isn't he? That guy's a real fucking... I'm getting tired of his shit. It's a bit much. I might go one-on-one with fucking Rogan. Can he not? You would get your ass whooped by Rogan. You didn't let me finish.

I said in the fucking ring of a rat battle. Try to go fucking... Oh, wait. We didn't promote Part of My Bank yet. It's not even called Part of My Bank. Why'd they change the name? What did they change it to? It's just called At The Bank now. Part of My Bank was a great name. Part of My is a good ass name all right so go uh listen after you're done listening to this episode go listen to pardon or at the bank

it's with me roan pft big cat and benny the butcher benny the fucking butcher who just quote tweeted son of a boy dad did he really say? He said, love working with these guys. The butcher's coming. Come on, bro. Shout out to the fucking... Is he one of your favorite lyrical rappers? Oh, yeah. Do you like a lot of lyrical rappers?

Dude, he's a technically sound rapper. He likes to rhyme a lot of words together. He likes to rhyme a lot of syllables together. And that shit makes my dick tingle. You know what's a good song by him? Have you actually listened to Benny the Butcher? Yeah, One Way Flight. She's catching one-way flights to kick

it wherever I'm at. Shout out to the fucking Butcher, bro. We need to get the Butcher in here. I had a broad I never saw before 1am. And that's real. That's real. And that's fucking real Knowing Benny I mean I don't even

I don't even want to tell The fucking stories We have about Benny Wow that fucker bro That fucker That dude is a menace Didn't he just get shot A little bit ago

That was right after He got out of jail right I don't know bro He's been going through it Jail shot Doing songs with us He got out He was in jail

When he was 17 right The butch Yeah Was he I think so Bro fucking Griselda man Shout out to all doing songs with us. He was in jail when he was 17, right? The Butch? Yeah. Was he? I think so. Bro, fucking Griselda, man. Shout out to all of fucking Griselda. Shout out to all those guys

moving weight up there. I know. And shout out to them for living in Buffalo because why the fuck would you? Humble. Humble. Gotta stay home.

He's a humble-ass rapper. He is. He could be doing anything. He could be living anywhere in the world and he's living in fucking... How does your verse go? Checking all my He is, he is. He could be doing anything. He could be living anywhere in the world and he's living in fucking. How does your verse go? Checking all my funds is fun for me. Hit so many branches like I fell out the ugly trees.

1180 like I'm decimating. Wait, that's actually a hot rhyme. Cash go to checks. I'm celebrating. Bro, you're rapping multiple syllables. That's the kind of flow. I know. Decimating, celebrating, 1180. That's the kind of flow i know decimating celebrating 11 80 m&m flow bro i mean bro i remember one time i was hanging out with m&m

and i was like you know no one can rhyme anything with orange and he was like four inch door hinge you should have seen this fool go off door hinge floor hinge smore minge more men there are i used Mormonge. Mormon. There are. I used to have a fact. Shark fin. And I was like, damn slim. I was like, but slim, what if you win? Shark fin. Orange. Shark fin. Orange.

Shark fin. There's four words that are supposed to not have any rhymes. And I definitely call bullshit on that. But that's like, I guess no perfect rhymes. One of them's orange. Silver. Purple. Silver rope. And month. Purple. Purple. Month. Nerple. on that but that's like i guess no perfect rhymes one of them's orange silver purple silver rope and month purple month nurple yeah what about nurple purple nurple purple urkel uncle circle

circle circle okay so you're a liar no i'm not i mean look that's this purple and circle is a clean rhyme it doesn't have i mean yeah whoever wrote this i'm saying this is a fact that i read in a book that i've debunked so you're not saying i'm always coming in with facts and they're never right no they just don't care about your fucking feelings bro what fact book are you reading that's wrong that was just a fact book that i had it was like there's it was like a little thing you read on the toilet and you fucking thumb through and you have little facts that you can fucking spruce up your little day with. You feel like you got a nugget while you dropped a nugget.

Bro, you never fucking sat on the toilet and read some facts. Nah, you're crazy. Nah, you crazy. You've been drinking Snapple ginseng teas. Yeah, you've been drinking some Snapples, haven't you? No, what's Snapple? Nah, you crazy. I haven't.

All right, should we do another ad? Yeah, probably for fucking... So we got fucking 15 ads. Probably for this BetterHelp shit. Oh, you carry this one. I mean, BetterHelp, why should I carry this one when BetterHelp's been carrying me? I saw two sets of footprints in the sand,

and then there was only one, and I asked, what has happened here? And they said, son, that's BetterHelp carrying you. And they truly will carry you home. BetterHelp is the shit. It's the best way to get a little bit of therapy in your life. And the best way to even think about therapy is through a bunch of analogies. So check this out.

You get your car tuned up to prevent bigger issues down the road. You get annual checkups and go to the gym to maintain physical wellness and prevent injury or dis-ease. We do chores regularly. Some of us. I made my bed this week.

Did you? Yeah. You're on your Bailey Carlin. I know. Because you told me to. I did not tell you to. You did. No, I didn't. I think. Did you? Yeah. You're on your Bailey Carlin. I know. I did it because you told me to. I did not tell you to. No, you did. No, I didn't.

I think you did on the podcast. I was joking then. Well, I did. I never fucking make my shit. I did. Did it help? You have the lady do that? God, you're sick.

Come on, bro. You're sick, bro. Best thing about having a wife. Happy wife, happy life. So I'm going to make that bed for you, brother. All right, finish up this ax. I want to hear about Mexico. Oh, we're going to get into Mexico.

It's a lawless hellhole and I fucking love it. But honestly, I'm going to need a little better help after a weekend of getting loose and sometimes that's all you need. Sometimes you just need to talk to somebody. You can do the messaging online.

You can do all kinds of little things to take care you don't even have to do the face-to-face messaging you can just talk to a random person and all barstool sports agrees they're offering better help services to their employees as an added benefit to help take care of their overall well-being and i said random person earlier but they're not random. They're fucking therapists. They're licensed therapists. And they will listen. They can fucking,

they're the first responders. They are. They're the ones who deserve half of Sass's salary. And next time you talk to Dave, you better tell him that those heroes over at BetterHelp are the ones who deserve it.

It is a customized online therapy that offers video, phone, live chat sessions. You don't have to Sessions, you don't have to see Anyone if you don't want to So why not invest in your brain Why not take care of that fucking Noggin of yours

Why not invest in your brain Why not invest in your brain This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp And son of a boy dad listeners get 10% off their first month Wow That's what i fucking said speaking of being at the bank wasted they say to invest in mattresses because you use it every night you use your brain every second of every day every fucking second every fucking second and i dumped

the clip out i'm fucking using my brain so fucking hard about and i spray that shit i spray the fucking clip i spray that clip i open that shit up that's like just like when you got out of jail bro that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h uses better help who the butcher the fucking butcher ah sass like i fell out the ugly tree sass sass they didn't really get your ad lib like that no they did it's in there you can hear it but it's like it's not like no it's in there it's not in there. You can hear it. But it's not like... No, it's in there. You can hear it.

It's not pertinent, though. You can hear it if you look for it. They should have boosted it up in the master. Yeah. That's some industry terms. I'm in the bank. B-E-T-T-E-R-A-T-L-P dot com slash sun. Slash sun.

Yo, so this morning I was in fucking Mexico on the fucking beach, bro. And tonight I'm here fucking piling around with you. What time is it? It's 3 a.m.? I was eating. Episode comes out in four hours. I was eating fruit on the beach fucking lounging. I was eating papaya and fucking pineapple.

You don't really look tan, though, is where my questions come in. You're saying I didn't go to Mexico? I'm not saying. I'm just poking around. I didn't. This time I purposefully didn't. I'm just poking around. I didn't. This time I purposefully didn't get tanned because the lady, when she was doing our makeup, she was like, yeesh. She's like, maybe a little more sunblock.

Really? I don't know. I don't know. What the hell is that supposed to mean? But she was also commenting on the circles that I had underneath my eyes. She's like, I guess you don't get any sleep or you have allergies or something. Those makeup artists, they love to pick you up. They love to pick you apart you don't get any sleep or you have allergies or something. Those makeup artists, they love to pick you up.

They love to pick you apart. They pick you apart. They're fucking vultures. That's really only something you'll understand when you get into the industry. Oh my God. This industry shit is fucking tough.

It's exhausting. Because they're the ones working for us. They should be fucking... What day of the week was that shoot? Thursday? Or was that Tuesday?

No, Monday. It was Monday. It was Monday? First thing on a Monday morning. Yeah, that was long. That was fucking long. It was a long day. I'm going to go home and I'm going to sleep in. It was Monday. It was Monday? First thing on a Monday morning. Yeah, that was long. That was fucking long. It was a long day. I'm going to go home and I'm going to sleep in. You're going to have some za? Some pizza? No. Dude,

I got to stop eating altogether. Really? I'm on a 50-month, 30-day thing right now. 50 pounds, 30 days. 50-month diet? Yeah. Next 50 months I will not be eating any carbohydrates or sugars. I'm not eating a carb for the next month. For 50 months i will not be eating any carbohydrates or sugars i'm not eating a carb for the next month for 50 months i'm doing just broccoli and chicken for every meal that's so

fucking gross it's so good broccoli is the grossest thing under the fucking sun broccoli is good if you have it right i've learned to eat i've learned to love all vegetables and fruits i used to be like a child until i read anthony bourdain's book i would like fucking like shudder at the taste of any vegetables and then i read bourdain and he was like a child until i read anthony bourdain's book i would like fucking like shudder at the taste of any vegetables and then i read bourdain and he was like a fucking warrior when he was 12 years old his he knew he'd get his parents love by being brave about the fucking clams he was eating so he just sucked down some raw as clams on the south of france or whatever i wouldn't have never known unless i read his book and now i'm fucking i'm adamant that i anytime i go to a

restaurant i want the fucking rarest and weirdest shit on the menu just because i want to be like old tony bourdain man the fucking roadrunner man yeah yeah that's smart i'm uh i actually just ordered mark or norm mcdonald's uh book i for some reason i always mix up mark norman and norm mcdonald two comics both, both comics. Similar names. And one dead and one on his way to death. Don't say that about Mark. Dude, we're all just dying. He's going to come on one day.

Yeah, he is going to come on. We have a lot of guests lined up. And a lot of them are really funny comics. They're funny as fuck. But we're just going to keep on telling you about them. We're just going to keep on letting you know them. We're just going to keep on letting you know because we're at a cold war with the booking department.

Tim Dillon, a very good friend of the pod, is coming on soon. Yes. So he says. We had Louis, but we're waiting for the Patreon. Yeah. Louis is going to make our banks go up. Yeah, he'll have a second fucking bank. He's going to get our pockets filled. Yes, he is. And for nothing in exchange. Just because he likes it. He likes a cut of our gym. He's going to get our pockets filled. Yes, he is. And for nothing in exchange.

Just because he likes it. He likes the cut of our gym. He's going to masturbate to our faces. That's all he wants in payment. Yeah, you don't have to put just my normal fee of being able to bukkake the both of you. Just kneel like little happy dogs with your tongues out. He's a good guy.

I'll spray you down. I'll super soak. I'll give you that super soaker 3000. Bro, you should have came down to Mexico with me, though. Yeah, and I was saying earlier that I saw your message and I was like, you definitely weren't joking, but I dodged that shit. What? Instantly changed the subject. What?

And you were like, come down to Mexico and record. It would have been awesome. Yeah, I just didn't want to go to Mexico, though. I was having a good time at home. I was with my dog. Really? Yeah. The place that, I mean, you couldn't go here and not have it be the best place that you've ever been to.

I was down with one of the Mikes. I mean, yeah, probably not when you're fifth wheeling, though. I was down with one of the Mikes. You would have been seventh wheel, first of all. No, I thought it was just you, you and your girlfriend and... And Mike and his girlfriend. And then my other boy And Mike and his girlfriend. And then my other boy, Mike, his brother.

Which Mike? Do I know him? He was at Mike's house the one time. It was like Mike and Mike at Mike's house when we watched the Eagles game that one time. When I went to Mike's house, it was just one Mike. All you need is one Mike, but I think there were two Mikes. It was three Mikes, but it was the two mics that I know, and then the other mic who's your friend. Well, I don't know.

This is the mic whose wedding I was at where all the mics? Yeah. It's that mic. You never met that mic? Oh, he loves you, dude. I've only met three mics. That's wrong. You've got to meet some more mics.

I know. But it was his brother and his brother's boyfriend, and they were fucking, we were all hanging out. You just said boyfriend? Pause, bro. What? No, I'm kidding, bro.

I respect that shit. So you would have been seventh wheeling. Yeah, that would have been fun. It wouldn't have been that crazy. Yes, it would have, bro. It's the most, it's the most beautiful,

Also, there's no way I was taking my shirt off right now. What do you mean? I'm not swimming. What do you mean? Did you swim? Well, I guess I swam a little bit, but not. You keep your shirt on? No, I did swim.

I swam with the homies. But I wasn't swimming the whole time. Because I would have kept my shirt on. That's where I'm at right now. Really? Confidence-wise. Really? Yeah.

Is it real white and ripply? White and just a lot. There's just a lot of me right now really confidence was really yeah what is it is it a real like white and ripply or white and just a lot there's just a lot of me right now yeah there's a lot of harry right now i'm 80 stomach more of you to love i'm big right now dude like unhealthy like i had a doctor's appointment i canceled it because i was like i don't want to be judged right now i need to get in better shape before this shape before i go to the doctor. A clinician who sees people every day, who sees sick people at their worst. They've told me before, they're like, this is getting out of control. You're disgusting. Yeah.

They're like, you're a goddamn pig. You ever see the- I went in and they were going, oink, oink, oink, oink. Like cough oinking? Yeah. Oink. Fat ass. Doctors and the nurses, they were following me around with a trombone behind me.

This tubby boy there's they're greasing up the doorways before you get in so you can slip through yeah i got the vaccine they were like you're gonna need a couple of these if you think you even have a chance against this virus we're gonna need to prick you like we're doing an allergy test just up and down your arm Not that South African virus is here Dude what is the deal with the South African They said it's nothing right They're just making up new things But people are freaking out about it Did you guys talk a lot about COVID

What did Nick say Nick said there's like 30 strange That liberal cuck Nick is the biggest liberal cuck in here We should have his pussy ass on the pod to fucking defend himself pick his brain pick his his liberal brain tucker carlson on his ass so tell me this how's it gonna work when we just go completely to socialism in this company and just give the poor all of our money how's that gonna work that would be awesome because then i would get all the money yeah right you'd

have to give away all your money with your fucking rich king of new york patriarchy having ass but dude the fucking mexico is so lawless that uh first off there's just drug stores and they're actual drug stores and you can go in and you can just buy uh steroids hgh oxycontin viagra You can just fucking walk into a store That's like a very official store And buy whatever drug you want So you went off the resort It was I was in Tulum

So Tulum is just like a fucking road It's just one road and it's all under a canopy Of like leaves and trees And you kind of just walk up and down this road And there's like a billion of these pharmacies but yeah it was a tiny ass resort there was like 10 rooms so you have to go off you're going back and forth the entire time massive

fucking armed guards big ass guns they got fucking guns everywhere. That's the craziest part about leaving the country that they have fucking huge ass they don't fuck around in other countries in the United States they have like pistols in like other countries they'll be walking around like they just like we're in like the call of duty lobby just like class yeah just whatever guns they want ever go like the guns

look like they're from movies and they're huge and they're the dudes just have their finger on the trigger yeah and they're just like waiting for somebody i was in when i was in europe that was like the number one thing i remember was like i went to the louvre and these dudes just walk it looks like private militaries yes and they have full cam on like do they just have like eight guns strapped it looks like they just like throw them into like a locker and they're like here just pick whichever ones you want just grab a bunch grab a bunch with like eight different sights on them and like barrel mags when i was you only see in video yeah exactly and like how do you what what kind of fights are they going to be getting in i don't know like they're going to be fighting off like the whole world with those guns and it's full

trucks of dudes like hanging off of a pickup truck on the back like they're about to go to war it looks like videos of afghanistan in 1988 just like it's awesome it is fucking wild i always i always wanted to go up and be like can i hold one can i i've still never shot a gun i would love to can i shoot a tourist except obviously i'm not gonna go through him because he's afraid of the firearms no i've shot guns before and it i mean yeah well then why didn't you let me and owen go shoot with you because i will Chris Kyle both of you and not like Chris Kyle the devil Ramadi shooting Chris Kyle didn't shoot anybody bro he got shot exactly that's what i mean by chris kyle what was the dude's name dude was a

psycho the guy who killed him yeah i read this whole thing about him he was crazy was he dude like apparently like on the way there but to the gun range he like didn't talk the entire time and like apparently like said some creepy ass shit or something and chris kyle and his buddy text each other and they're like dude this guy is so creepy What if he just saw the text and was like, fuck them? Yeah, dude, apparently he went to the police station, had to talk to someone and he was like, they were talking

shit about me. That's why he killed them. Dude, so what if he was just a completely normal guy and they were just being... But what if they were just being catty bitches to him? Possible. You know what I mean mean apparently as soon as it seems like you're victim shaming and he's the victim here and you're shaming him for having done what you're crazy bro the americans aren't gonna like this joke because kyle was a hero true the craziest shit that chris kyle said was that he was like on top of uh what did he say On top of the Saints Stadium. During Hurricane Katrina.

Like shooting looters. Yeah. With a sniper rifle. Yeah. That's not an equal and opposite reaction. It never happened. So he just didn't do it? He was crazy too. Obviously he had PTSD from how many fucking bodies he slapped in

Afghanistan. When I used to live with the Marine he was like so geek this is before the movie even came out he was like so geeked on chris kyle he's like the fucking devil of ramadi dude this dude's a fucking legend bro that like happens in the movie they like go to like they go somewhere and like some dude comes up to him and he's like you're my hero the. The fucking devil of Ramadi, bro. He picks up Chris Kyle's son and is like, your dad's a hero. There was a good line. He's like, I'm only worried about the judgment

of one man, my maker. When he's getting investigated for hundreds of murders. That's crazy. But I guess it's war. People are just shooting motherfuckers at war. I know. You're not cut out for fucking war. I think I would be. I think I'd do well over there. I don't think you would, war. I know. You're not cut out for fucking war. I think I would be. I think I'd do well over there.

I don't think you would, bro. I would 100% enlist. I could, for the workout, to get fucking shredded. No, I want to go across seas. You wouldn't even see any action, devil dog. Finish this shit once and for all. Well, no, I would because I'd be in the Air Force. What would that mean?

I'd be nuking small villages you don't even have the eyesight first of all to make the air force you don't have that 2020 vision do you yeah really i used to at least yeah i know you didn't and second of all it's all drones anymore that's what everyone says that's what all the liberal cucks say that's all drone strikes yeah well the fucking there's men on those fields brother true the true libs know that fucking obama killed more people with the fucking drone strikes than fucking and all the rest of the presidents combined but dude walking around so uh going into mexico just to illustrate how lawless it is every single fucking bar and club you go to and they're fucking they're designed basically for like westerners and like affluent americans like you have to jump up on

the fucking table and fucking it's very like girl centric you have like sparklers you like yeah it's very natural you're like whipping your fucking uh napkins around like they want everybody to get up they'll like make you get up on the table we went to one restaurant and it was like fucking all tree canopies and like fucking a net between everything that sounds cool and they only had three fucking menus in the whole restaurant i was fucking shocked they don't have qr codes i think they have a menu shortage in mexico i think there's like a menu shortage going around all the profits from this episode will go to mexico and menus and menus so they can all finally get their menus yeah but every time no matter what like uh no matter how nice the place is you go to the bathroom

and they're like cocaine marijuana, marijuana, cocaine, marijuana. And there's like five people and they're so fucking aggressive about it. And they are fucking ravenous to make you get some of the cocaine or some of the marijuana. And they'll even you'll walk into some places and a security guy will be at the door. He'll go through your wallet. He'll go through every single fold of your wallet wallet making sure you don't have anything in there and then later on you'll see that same exact security guard just talking to the dudes who are selling the coke and yeah i think they try and probably try and steal it off you and just sell it back to you or like or just make sure that if you want to do cocaine

in here you're going to do it from the cartel yeah yeah you're going to fucking use this cartel shit and that's how fucking powerful the cartel must be down there, that they're just taking over the tourism industry. I assume they're more powerful than the government. Yes, 100%. These guys with the guns and the fucking full military uniforms, they all have to be in the fucking pocket of the cartel too. Yeah. That was like that first

NELC video. Do you remember that? The one where they did the coke prank in Mexico? No. They drive across the border and they're like, we have a bunch of coke in the in the trunk and then it was okola and it was coca-cola and they like it like was started out funny and then they like it like pulled into like uh like interrogation room and then like some like crazy shit happened i forget really i forget exactly what happened something with like they they were trying to get them to like pay them like pay the government and then like some other shit happened where like they like eventually they like were like it's a joke.

Like we don't actually have any coke. And then they had them like get into the car with this like military dude. And he's sort of like driving to like the middle of nowhere. And they like got out of the, something weird, something crazy. Dude, well to that point. They had to like pay the dude like $1,000 or something to like keep their car. Yes, dude. To to that point. They had to pay the dude like $1,000 or something to keep their car. Yes, dude, to that exact point. So the entire weekend, I'm experiencing how lawless Mexico is.

I'm watching guys go into fucking drugstores and buy duffel bags full of Viagra and Oxycontin and fucking just selling weed, open air, selling cocaine in the open air. Nobody's stopping anybody. And so as I'm leaving today i'm smoke i went outside the airport after i checked in and like just smoked a very the tiniest joint of all time you know how i like them yeah very small very thin yeah very tiny joint smoke to join outside the hotel in the parking lot like i've done it every single hotel for the last however many years or at the hotel the airport parking lot and I walked back inside the airport

and fucking a guy walks up next to me and he's like, like, what, what flight are you going on? And he just was walking. I was like, Delta, I don't know. And he just stayed walking with me. And then he like talked in a little thing on his shoulder and another guy came up and they were both playing close. And they're like, they picked, they, they showed me the ropes that I just smoked. They're like, were you just smoking this outside?'re gonna go run this run tests on this like we need you to go over to this holding area or whatever over here jesus christ and the guy's like it's gonna be like he's speaking like kind of like little spanglish broken english and he was like it's gonna be like three nights in jail and a 2500 three nights in mexican jail he kept saying

72 hours in mexican jail and a 2500 fine if, three nights in Mexican jail. He kept saying 72 hours in Mexican jail and a $2,500 fine. If they find out that that's actually weed. And I was shitting myself. And then he eventually like turned it to a $2,500 or like 72 hours in Mexican jail. And I was, I was like being like, I'm, I think I'm going to have to just pay this guy. Like, I think that I'm actually just going to have to pay to pay $2,500 to get out of this so I can just go home. My,

and my first thought was like, dude, we have to record son of a boy. Cause otherwise it would be kind of like a fun and funny story. Yeah. Yeah. To just go to, go to a trail.

Probably not that fun though. A little bit. It'd be a little bit. I'm assuming Mexican jail is probably not that great, but just, it'll be a little fun. It would just be like three probably not that great but just it'll be a little fun it would just be like three days you can do anything for three days in the shower they're not gonna fuck you in the ass they'll probably stab you to death they're not gonna fuck you in the ass fuck you in the ass i don't think they would

fuck you in the ass they would but what happened what happened uh he he basically just like he he likes he like fakely talked into his his thing And was like All your bags are already through Like alright Like just Like go upstairs Like a hundred Like nothing at all happened It went from being so

Fucking scary So you got all your Oh cause you checked your bags I checked all the bags in And then you went outside And then I went outside to smoke Right before I went through security And these two dudes came up

And like flanked me Walked me through the airport Took me It was an ambush And they were playing close They were fucking undercovers, bro. They were the fucking Jake, bro. That's fucking 5-0.

Damn. They took me over to a little corner. So you, they just let you go? Yeah. Dude, they probably got a hit out for you right now. They probably do. Or like the fact that my shit was already through was what saved me. But I was like, they're going to, it was like, I was sure at one point that I was like fucked.

Well, I mean, you would have just had to pay. Yeah. You weren't going to spend three nights in prison as a joke yeah it would have been funny for the first 10 minutes and then you're like damn i'm really here for 72 hours this is way too much yeah but what if i became like a fucking hardwood floor not even the concrete yeah the dirt what if i became like the kingpin in there though though? Yeah, you're running shit. What if the cartel took me in and they're like, I like the cut of his fucking jib. Yeah. Like, what if I got- Like, we love your rap battles.

Yeah, like the scene in 8 Mile where he rap battles at the lunch truck. Yeah. Like, this guy's good. Yeah. The fucking gringo is good. You ever see the movie Shot Caller? No. Oh, wait, you showed me this.

I showed you the trailer. It's like the guy gets in an accident on like a double date with his uh wife and his best friend couple but he had like wine and he gets sent to a federal prison just becomes a nazi oh yeah what oh yeah what it looks really good yeah i mean i guess if you're in a situation like that you gotta try to make the best of it and play the power structure game i don't know yeah what would you do if you were in jail uh kill myself within an hour

yeah that would be tough but you wouldn't even get to to reap the benefits of killing especially if it was from smoking a joint it was like he showed me like the and I threw like a roach in the trash I threw it in the trash too like I conspicuously I bet they just had that roach dude I bet they just had like a roach in the trash. I threw it in the trash too. I bet they just had that roach, dude.

I bet they just had a random roach. No, it was mine. It had my lipstick on it. It had my telltale. It had my scent. That's my filter. I would know it anywhere. That's my fucking calling card. That's like Pineapple Express when he picks up the roach and smokes it. Pineapple Express.

Exactly. The fucking card. They were probably also just like laughing their ass off at like how scared i got like they probably were never gonna do that all the time it was like this much and fucking it was gone and like it had already been smoked like they probably were just like making sure that i was actually like a pussy american who was scared of what was going on and not so like, there's probably people actually smuggling weight through their airport. Like they have actual fish to fry.

That's crazy. So did you not like, were you like, does no one smoke weed like that in, in Mexico? No, they were selling it everywhere. They were selling it in the bathrooms.

I was at a club last night on the dance floor, just fucking like, it was like Babylon and fucking, uh, the matrix. It was like, it was completely natural outdoor and everyone just smoking outside. People are just doing little coke in the fucking open air.

Dude, have you ever heard what happened to Donnie when he was in, where was he, Columbia? Yes. Have you ever heard that story? Yes, that shit's crazy. He bought coke off someone and they shut him down. He didn't even buy it. yeah he like bought coke off someone and they showed no he didn't even buy it he like some kid came up to him and tried to sell him coke and he like had coke on him or something and he like did or should we not tell the story no no i think he's told the story before yeah

he um he like had a little bit of coke on him and he like did it and i guess he had like a like a coke booger in his nose and this kid came up to him and tried to sell him coke and donnie was like no i'm good like he was in a club and he's like no i'm fine and then the kid was like you have a coke booger and donnie was like no i don't and then the kid was like yeah you do and he was like either you have to give me 500 or i'm gonna go get the police and then donnie like so then donnie's like i'm not giving you any money and then the kid went he got the cops and then donnie like swallowed the whole bag of coke Or something And then And then they took him

Into the bathroom And they made him get They made him get ass naked In the bathroom And search him What the fuck Yeah Like completely naked

What the fuck And apparently the person Who like Like told the cops Is like a straight up kid That's so insane I know In Columbia

That corruption shit is deep I thought you were gonna say The time he smoked meth By accident Oh I don't remember yaba yeah he has a whole song about that with yeah that's another word for meth and they're always just talking about yeah that's fucking crazy that they just all what do you think if you lived he's told that i think he told us yeah he did tell that story i hope we didn't just like expose him he did it was he was doing coke in columbia that's like having like fucking uh croissant in france like that's just what you do there that's facts you never fuck him your bitch ass never been

to fucking france bro we actually have been to france have you yes and i did have a croissant there the croissants in france suck they just come in a bag that's not the croissants in france suck that's like the breakfasting in france is like France is like a plastic bag croissant. And it's probably the freshest most light buttery thing you've ever tasted in your fucking life. Even like an old ass croissant from early in the day is gonna be delicious. I had a croissant when I

was in Nashville. Have I talked about this already or no? I don't know. When I was in Nashville I was like hanging out with my buddy. I don't know. I don't remember the croissant story. Yeah I was hanging out with my buddy in Nashville from home and he had like a test. Which buddy? Matt. Oh, of course.

Yeah. He had a test the next morning. So we had to go home like early-ish and study. So we were only going to go out to dinner. But then we ended up going out to like a bar after, just like a dive bar and having a couple of drinks. And then I got like a little drunk, like both of us did. And then he was like, all right, I got to go home. And I was like, okay. And then I went back to the hotel and I of us did and then he was like I gotta go home and I was like okay and then I went

back to the hotel and I went to the hotel bar by myself and I just went on my phone and just had like three beers which is nice it was fun that's like a adult fun yeah it was awesome because it was early still it was only 10 o'clock and then I was like alright I'm gonna go up to bed and then I went and I got I went to the little store

and I got myself a chocolate croissant and and talkies. What the fuck? I know. I was drunk. And then I went upstairs and I had the croissant. You had three beers.

Bro, I didn't. I forgot to mention the other 12 that I had before that. And then I went upstairs and I had the croissant and then I had some talkies and then I just projectile vomited. I fucking bet. So hard. But I don't even think you can blame the croissant. No, it was the talkies and then i just projectile vomited i bet so hard but you i don't even think you can blame the croissant no it's the talkies and the croissant combo yeah that's a one-two punch from hell it was like salt and pepper which color of the the throw up was like

no it was like vinegar and and what is it what are the two things that don't mix two dicks and water water and vinegar or something water and oil i don't know what it is yeah yeah and uh dude it was bad and then i it was so bad that i like burnt the top of my mouth from throwing up so hard jesus christ i had like a sore throat for like a week after that's the worst when you just throw up and it's just i don't understand how some why some people get like uh esophageal problems why i had that i never have had that before but i got it from that yeah when people get like the heartburn and everything like that. Is that genetic or is that lifestyle dictated or a combination of both?

Combination of both. But I think it was just from throwing. Like you can get it just from throwing up. Yeah. That's a terrible feeling. Dude, it was so bad and painful. That's hell. Yeah.

Everybody that we were with on this trip, like at one point or another, got like a little bit sick like that. Yeah. I think it's a combination of maybe the water maybe fish you're eating some random fish like a whole fucking fish or some shit like that um let's talk about me undies and then i'm gonna ask you the fucking sickest hypothetical you've ever fucking heard in your life bro also you didn't eat your fucking snack that i brought you bro i brought you some fucking exotic shit and you just threw it on the fucking ground.

I don't understand why. All right, I'll do the ad. No, I can do the ad, but, bro, you didn't eat your Biscoff cookies, bro. I brought these from you straight off the plane. I don't want that shit, bro. That's fucking whack, bro. So the holidays are almost upon us, and it's time to really lean in. We're talking hugs.

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dot com slash sun. Perfect. Sass, if you lived in Mexico, would you, specifically the area that I went to. Tulum. Would you become part of the service industry? Would you get like

and like work at a hotel or something like that in the lobby of a hotel or at like a bar or a restaurant or something would you work in the infrastructure building industry maybe like a carpenter working with your hands or would you join the cartel and would you be one of the guys in the bathroom who is selling cocaine and pushing drugs on people because they're i mean they have to work their asses off but they're going up to people it's it's dead honest work and there are cartel and there's women who do that shit too i'm glad you said that because everybody i've asked that too

is like oh i'd work in i would work in the like i work in a cool bar i'd be like bartending in a cool bar like no bro i would want to get in with the cartel from the fucking jump you're protected as soon as you're in you're a made man i went to a beach club one day and there was a guy who was so obviously cartel he was this fat fucking load just sitting there you look like you sass no he was this fat ass dude sitting like at the lowest level of the club and he had a fucking smoking girl next to him and then just two dudes wearing sunglasses long pants long khaki pants and long sleeve shirts they were the most obvious cartel like they were his muscle and he was just sitting there basically getting fed grapes by this woman while people were while they're playing like all i need is your love tonight. They play that song every fucking place you go down there.

Yeah, that's not surprising. And it's awesome. Sounds fun. But yeah, I'd definitely be a cartel guy. I would be the guy that would be sawing off the heads and putting them on the turtles. On the what? The turtles. Is that what they do?

Is that some narco shit? It's in Breaking Bad. Really? Yeah, they saw off this dude's head and they put it on top of a turtle. That's so sick. And then the turtle's walking around with a man's head on it put it on top of a turtle. That's so sick. And then the turtle's walking around with a man's head on it. That's so sick, bro. That's so crazy. The utmost respect to the cartel. Except for when they do

the fentanyl shit, bro. Just cut out the fentanyl shit. That's not cool, dude. That's not cool. The fentanyl shit is not cool, cartel, bro. Maybe some baby laxatives or something instead? Yeah, sort your shit out and fucking stop killing Americans. You guys are putting fentanyl on weed now? And it's the cartel that does it yeah because they just want to kill some of their cut their uh why would you want to kill off your customers it's the opponent you do it to your like

the other cartel shit and so their customers die oh smart yes now i'm back on fentanyl you won me over i'm back on it but they must run the drug stores too i'm trying to pick up a fucking opioid have you buy any yes i bought a fucking sleeve ox did you really and i'm so scared to take dude i would not take those why i bought them literally at a drug store you're gonna bring you brought them home yeah you want to try a suitcase right now i got one i don't want no i don't want them i'm not right now? I got one. I don't want. No, I don't want them. I'm not going to give you one. I have one. I don't trust you to take it.

What are you doing with oxys? It sounds fun. I want to get an opioid habit. Opiate habit. Jesus Christ. It sounds fun. Bro, you're about to be off this pod. You're steering this pod in the wrong direction.

I bought fucking Xanax. I bought Winthral. You know what Winnie is bought Winthral you know what you know what Winnie is the Winthral is I do what is it I know what it is

it's that theater in Boston yeah I used to play yeah I used to play I used to play at the Winthral I sold out the Winthral back to back no it's a steroid every time I would go

into the places I know I know I know what Winthral is yeah I did they would go in they'd be like you steroid's a steroid. Every time I would go into places... I know what Winthral is. Yeah, I did. They would go in and be like, you steroid? You need steroid? They basically body shamed me into getting steroids. They were shitting down my throat.

I was buying fucking... Mexican steroids are known to be bad for you. What do you mean? They're just as good as American steroids. If not better. What are you talking about? No, they're not. You don't think that they have drug companies down there? There's a whole episode of Workaholics about Mexican steroids.

And Adamants have been to the hospital. Yeah, but that's a fucking joke show. No, it's documentary. If they did a serious show about it, they'd be like, oh, you got jacked and you look hot as fuck. At every one of the bars? Your heart's gonna explode. The same way? They do gender equality well. You're gonna take your oxys

and cool down the heart pain. I've i've heard that like oxys aren't even like good like my my buddy took them for uh i don't think it's actually i don't think i actually got oxys i don't think it was that's what it was what was it i'm not even sure it was something you just bought a random pill it says it on the fucking thing it's like in medical it's not like a fucking like just white bottle of pills jesus christ my buddy got prescribed oxys for anxiety what and um yeah huh i don't think that's an anxiety medicine my friend got prescribed oxycontin for anxiety i don't think that's how that works well he had a cool doctor he got his wisdom teeth out and he got oxycontin and he took him and he like threw up yeah yeah i mean yeah i mean have fun taking them you don't want to throw a fucking pill junkie

my buddy got some painkillers from mexico but uh he read the bottle back after taking it and it was 24 hour extended release oh what the fuck yeah he woke up the next morning trying to study for the lsat couldn't read i believe it sounds sick 20 i didn't know they even had made extended release painkillers i didn't either neither did i they do in mexico though they do in mexico we gotta fucking get down to mexico frat bros were buying to go and get and just get really into pills for one episode of the podcast for an episode just just very quickly for one episode two perky's and a zan or you ever see uh you ever see the guy who uh drew a portrait on each drug yes yeah we should do a podcast episode on each one yo that would be incredible on viagra since the boys are horny as

fuck remember that tim dylan thing where he's talking about his cousin who like wanted his dog on the Bud Light? Yeah. He's like, what's next? We're going to have your cat on an oxy? Oh my God. Dude, but why not? I mean, it's basically legal down there

and nobody has a problem with it. Yeah, except they're all dying rapidly. No, they're dying from the cartel shooting them. Jesus Christ, dude. So it was dangerous where you were? No, not at all. Sounds like it was. No, it was like the safest cartel people all over the place.

And they're like making their money off of tourists. It's bad for business if it's dangerous down there. It's not spooky at all, I promise. There's like white girls in like sarongs going down listening to Kygo. Some people say that white girls are scarier than anyone else. That's actually facts some people it probably is really scary it's probably some people's hell yeah all the white girls down there but there's anywhere that i have to take my shirt

off sounds like hell dude and the dudes down there i don't even look myself in the mirror when i take my shirt off anymore we went to a day club down there and the dudes were so chiseled and hot too you would have been so self-conscious see See, when I went to Tampa. They're on the Mexican steroids. Yeah, when I went to Tampa to visit my buddy, it was like everyone there is just a 10. Tampa? Yeah. Tampa Bay? Yes, dude.

Tampa Bay College. It's like anywhere where it's like someone. That's where Colby and Zah went. TBCU? Yeah. Dude, everybody looks like Zah there. It's so fucking hot. Any college that you go to where it's like

everyone it's like hot dude people are just walking around half naked all the time and i don't understand how people go to yeah i do think those schools are inherently fat phobic yeah they don't they don't accept you if you're not good looking but also how to because like when does it happen for people that everybody is shredded because i got to college and i was just like a fucking 98 pound fucking weakling like like skinny, bad bodied. And I go to the gym for the first time and right away there's dudes who are fucking shredded. The gym that I went to, everyone there was like ridiculously jacked. And when does that happen for people?

Did they do it before college? I think they must all do a cycle right before college starts. But they're like shredded too. There's like jacked people, shredded people. Maybe I just really see the shredded people i don't know all i know is that like you go like dude you go to a school like that you go to a party and it's like the girls are wearing like thongs and like bikinis or like tops and like sneakers yeah the dudes are just wearing like speedos and everyone has like has like the most minimal amount of clothing on and you're describing tulum too like i couldn't go to a school like that my pasty ass stomach flailing around your

foot your your funniness wouldn't play at all no she would wear off like fucking bad paint job mr purple the other week and we were like the only dudes who weren't billionaires there they don't care how funny you are yeah at all this dude owns google yeah they don't care what what kind of life life pain that you're really funny my friend here uh he's jeff bezos son he's a genius and super rich yeah and he has a big dick and abs so good luck good luck doing anything around him he's also a he's also a comedian on the side he's and he's funny he's funnier than you he's exponentially funnier than you damn that pisses me off i used to i mean that shit gets me going even to like now in new york i'd be like

self-conscious going out being like i don't have anything fucking interesting to bring to the table in these fucking no it's like that dude people is like that, dude. People here suck. People do suck, but they are like in your face about like how like much of an opinion they have. Like I don't even have opinions on shit. I don't even think it's like that. I think you just go places and people don't give you like the time of day unless you're like wearing like a fucking Gucci suit.

But have you ever been at like a table where people are... If I go to like Times Square, or not Times Square, if I go to like Central Park on like a Sunday and go for a walk and like sweatpants and a sweatshirt, people will be like pulling their kids to the side when I walk by them. Don't look at him. Yeah. Look away.

Is that man alright? Yeah. Is that homeless man okay? Yeah. It's literally like you get outclassed. Don't feed him. In New York. And you can't not do it. And you go out and everyone's just wearing leather head to toe. They are. High heels. The dudes are just wearing high heels.

Just wearing Rick Owens fucking $18,000 shoes. Just fucking, you just never could. We gotta get some Rick Owens for the pod. And that brings up our next sponsor, Rick Owens. Yeah. Well, start doing free ads, people. And so they get confused, and they just have to

start sending us stuff. Who's a realist? Big thank you to Nike for being the presenting sponsor. Nike, they're like, who the fuck set this up? You ever see Rick Owen? Just send him the fucking Air Maxes. Look at this first outfit, this first Rick Owen outfit right here. It's fire.

This dude is wearing a fucking diaper over his dick. That's the pandemic. That's the pandemic turtleneck. Goes over the nose. He's wearing a long ass mask. That would actually be kind of convenient. A reverse diaper over his dick. He's got a shirt with a mask attached to it.

You just pull it up. Well, we need to get some fucking Rick Owen. What are you going to do when you get an insane amount of money? Nothing. Nothing will change in my life. Bullshit. I will buy a house in Colorado on a mountain. Okay.

That's fucking stupid. I'll go there every weekend and ski. And listen to Rocky Mountain High. Rocky Mountain High, Colorado. What about that song, Rocky Mountain Way? You ever fuck with that one? No. Spent the last year Rocky Mountain Way.

Bro. That sounds like it sucks. Damn. I think my song was better, John Denver. That's your little fucking pro, bro. I'm about to drop a fucking album about the fucking Rockies, bro. Me and Benny the Butcher are about to fucking do a crossover collab. You already did one, bro. Listen to At The Bank. Bro, we're about to me and him are about to get back a crossover collab. You already did one, bro. Listen to At The Bank.

Bro, we're about to, me and him, we're about to get back in the studio and put out a fucking EP. It's going to be like Run The Jewels. Except for I'm going to be the black guy. Oh, wow. Interesting. Yeah, it's going to be fucking sick. It's going to be fucking dope.

Dude, I need to go home and eat some pizza. Yeah, what time is it? How long are we? It's 3 to be fucking dope. Dude, I need to go home and eat some pizza. Yeah, what time is it? How long in are we? It's 3.47. We'll be going hour 24. Okay, cool. We're going to get to end it there then.

All right. Well, thank you for listening. It's almost December. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So that Shane Gillis said first couple weeks of of december oh so we need to get his we need to see what he's talking about yeah let's get him in he's in new york right now he's doing

a show at the stand tonight tonight bro it's tomorrow today's tomorrow i did a show at the stand tonight well what's the free show they do every monday uh frantic frantic yeah he's doing frantic have you boys been watching stand-up comedy yeah a little bit here and there did you go to when was the last show you went to tim dillon at the beacon okay because i asked to be added to the fucking list yeah you're not gonna be i asked to be part of the fucking the laugh posse i want to fucking just roll around all week i know i want and i just want to roll around new york with the fucking boys good rooms good rooms i love a fucking good room there's a couple of hot rooms.

Oh, fuck, bro. Oh, actually, I'm doing a show on Thursday. Come see the show. Come see. Come out to Sass's show. Fortunately, it's already sold out. Live stream? Can the people get a live stream?

No, no, no, no, no. Are you going to be taking people's phones again? We don't do that. Like Chappelle? See that Chappelle show where he went to that high school? I heard he's more talented than all of them. I heard he slapped the fuck out of a kid yeah he did dude he went to a high school and he did like a q a and he went to like the art school and he was like he was like no matter what you are a painter a singer uh anything he's like i'm better he's like

i'm better than all of you he's like eventually you'll catch up to me but right now i'm better than all of you he's joking though that's like a joke that you would make. No, bro. He's twisted. No, yeah. I mean, there was some shit that, like, he said that was funny. Yeah, because he was joking, and he's a comedian. He was joking the whole time.

People take shit so out of pocket. What was the one thing that he said? Especially a fucking art school kid. That was weird. Someone came up and they were like, you're aot and uh and what and uh i don't i didn't like your special like i didn't like how you handled it and he was like one of the decisions that i make every day he's like you couldn't handle any of my decisions you couldn't handle one you couldn't make one decision i make that's awesome yeah that's that actually probably not a joke coming to your school though and you're just like going up there like

i'm gonna call him a fucking bigot bro i'm to call him a fucking bigot, bro. I'm going to call him a fucking bigot. There's going to be, and someone, dude, one of the parents complained because he said the N word. It's like, he's black. He's allowed to do that. That parent probably doesn't see color. No. Good. That's progressive of them. He said the N word like in a normal sentence. Yeah. Yeah. Art school. Yeah. Art school kids are tough, dude. It's just tough.

Imagine Dave Chappelle coming to your high school and you're just throwing toot. You can't throw toot at the fucking... They need some better help, those kids. They need some help. They need some type of help. They might even be out of league for better help. That's what I mean.

These kids also probably have $8,000 a week therapists who are like, if it makes you feel like it, you should confront Dave Chappelle. If you feel better if you would feel better calling him a bigot to his face you should do it. Even if that bumps him out though like he goes to uh

he goes back to his high school and they're just like shitting on him. I mean I'm sure it was probably like two kids and the rest were like pumped to see him. Yeah. I mean it would bum me out. Who would not be pumped to see him? Yeah he went to like his hometown high school. But you also can't. That's like how I feel like it would be bad out. Who would not be pumped to see him? Yeah, he went to his hometown high school. That's how I feel like it would be if I went back. What, people would shit on you? Yeah.

Because they'd be your age. Yeah. They'd be going to the same drinking spots in the woods as you. Yeah, pretty much. Did you drink in the woods over Thanksgiving? No. That's really so weird that you say that. Gaz asked me that the day I got hired.

It was the week I got hired. I guess it was a month in. I got hired June 1st and I had a meeting with him after 4th of July. No, I had a meeting with him before. So yeah, it was like my first meeting with him. And he was like, what are you doing? Do you have any plans for 4th of July? Are you going to go drink in the woods? And I was so

confused. I was like, no. And he was like, oh, when I was a kid, we used to just go drink in the woods. Yeah, same. confused. I was like, Oh no. And he was like, Oh, when I was a kid, we used to just go drink in the woods. Yeah. Same. And we didn't do that. We would go to a Chris Herron says it all starts with a blunt and a solo cup in the woods. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. And then next thing you know, you're in Mexico buying a duffel bag of Oxycontin. The fake Oxycontin. No, it wasn't pressed laxatives. Pill pressed oxys. I'll take your finest laxatives? Pill-pressed oxys? I'll take your finest laxatives pressed into a more attractive pill form.

Damn. Baby laxatives. That's what they use. Baby laxatives? Powder. Not baby powder and laxatives, but baby laxatives. Baby laxatives because you don't die from snorting baby laxatives. How do you know?

Because that's what they do, bro. They test it on babies. I'm in the industry. They make little babies snort it I heard they used to they test shit on mice they test tuberculosis

medicine on mice babies would be hilarious on coke yeah they would it would be so funny alright thank you guys for listening Rowan has to go home

and eat his pizza you don't don't look down on me Rowan's gotta go home I was ready to go for two hours but I guess has to go home and eat his pizza. You don't fucking... Don't look down on me. Rowan's got to go home and eat... I was ready to go for two hours, but I guess you got to go home and eat your pizza. Thank you guys for listening.

Make sure you guys like, subscribe, leave five stars. Now I'm not going to have any pizza. Yeah, tell all your friends about the podcast. And Merry Christmas. Thanks, guys. And Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah. Oh, happy Hanukkah.

I'm actually half Jewish, so that actually is part of my life. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah happy Hanukkah oh happy Hanukkah I'm actually half Jewish so that actually is part of my life um Merry Christmas happy Hanukkah thank you peace