Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 33 - With SHANE GILLIS

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 33 - Shane Gillis -- 90 minutes with the Young Bull -- Full episode also available on YouTubeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. That was disgusting. Owen really doesn't like burps. I don't think anyone does. I think some people do does I think some people do I think the people firing them off like them

Cool, you guys are good Fucking Tommy Smokes Thinking that he can just fucking waltz around And be like, oh I have this room Shut the fuck up, Tommy Gross Ready? Yeah

What is up everybody, welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast Today is Monday what is up everybody welcome back to son of a boy dad podcast today is monday the 13th the 13th just kidding it's not it's december 7th but but this will be out on tuesday so i don't even know why i said monday right but no but monday would have made it seem like we were doing it on our normal day. True. So, but before we get into that, let's hop into our presenting sponsor of today's episode. DatChat. DatChat.

The famous disc site. I fucking love them. We love DatChat and we always use DatChat. I like to use DatChat to send death threats to people. And then I delete them after as soon as I send them. Yes. And they don't recommend that you do that, but you technically can do that on their platform because of how user-friendly it is.

It's the most user-friendly application on the internet. And I've often said that. It's the safest. It's a safe messaging app. Yes. It's an awesome new social networking and messaging app and a bunch of us here at barstool are using it like we're always kicking it around with fucking hubs and k marco and coley just being like you guys are killing it over on the blog

yeah and then i usually just delete it because i'm like well i shouldn't be hyping up the competition yeah so then i'll nuke the messages i love the nuke effect on that chat yeah i love nukes just in general i think that there's really dope the concept there's a lot of potential for them oppenheimer robert oppenheimer and einstein and all those fucking smart ass scientists who develop the nuke you always wondered how is that that technology going to help me today well it's going to help you when you send a dirty message that you don't want to be seen the next morning dirty dirty message if you're up until four in the morning drinking Bud Heavy's Bud Lights or something like that, and you wind up

sending off a fucking, you know, half-masked dick pic? Yeah, yeah, that could work. Yeah. But then you delete it. And then you delete it. And no one's harmed. Exactly. Including yourself. And it's the best way to get out of sticky situations like that. Or if you just want to talk about your favorite

TV shows, like The Bachelor, Bacheloretteachelorette bachelor in paradise is an option that entire franchise or whatever the fuck say you're talking about the bachelor and you you accidentally send something to a friend but then you remember oh they're not caught up yeah and it's like oh let me delete that you nuke that message or whatever those goofies over at macro dosing are talking about whatever fucking cockamamie conversations they're having over at macro dosing trying to be like oh fucking this historical event happened or some shit like fucking knobbing off fucking liberals or fucking conservatives or whatever they do over there whatever the hell they do whatever goofy type of time they're on fucking just copying our premises and trying to make it into something funny good luck good luck yeah so

they they do that shit and you can do it too. Download DatChat for iPhone and Android in the app stores right now or go to datchat.com slash barstool to get more info and download DatChat. Download DatChat. Dat. D-A-T. Not T-H-A-T and not D-A-D. DatChat.

D-A-T. Chat. So we got a special episode today. We got a guest who will be in momentarily. You think it's actually going to be a special episode? Hopefully. Why don't we talk about who the guest is going to be? Shane Gillis.

Yes. And this is going to be your first time meeting him. No, bro. Me and Shane go back. For real? Mm-hmm. Two comedy legends. Bro, look at us while it's on the table, bro.

I know. Look at your shit. Is yours Kevlar? I don't know what it while it's on the table, bro. I know. Look at your shit. Is yours Kevlar? I don't know what it is. Is yours bulletproof, bro? No, it's like fabric and then leather on the inside. That's fucking crazy. Got all my cards.

I got my open mic. Punch card. Mike punch card. What does that get you? A fucking free mic? After 10 mics, you get a free mic. Are you serious? Oh, yeah.

Why are you keeping that? In case I go back to open mics. Aren't they like $2? No, they're $5. So after... Wait, what? Oh, it's $9. So after nine mics.

So after $45 spent, I get to my 10th mic is free. For the price of a cup of coffee. It's a bargain. You can get a free mic. Yeah. I feel like that's predatory on fledgling comedians. That was the only one I've ever done that has had that. A lot of receipts.

It was a good mic though. Yeah? Yeah, it was fun. It was in like a coffee shop and there was a bunch of people there. And like, you know, you're doing well if like the people that were just like at the coffee shop, like doing work, like would like take their headphones out. Like, what's all the laughter about what's that oh it's pretty good i crushed there and then i got kicked off stage i went over my time and i was like i was like can i finish my i was like i

finished my joke and she was like no oh that was that lady yeah and i was like oh okay and i got off stage got a cappuccino did well though i crushed crushed my best set that i've done really and it was in front of a coffee shop. Maybe that's your crowd. The fucking coffee crowd. I know. The fucking tea and crumpets crowd. It was fun. It was a good time. What else is in that wallet of yours? Let's go through.

It looks like receipts. Are those receipts where the money's supposed to be? Yeah, I don't have any money in here. A lot of receipts. Why do you keep receipts? Pull out a random receipt and see what it's for. Yeah, maybe tell the story. Every receipt has its own story. Oh, no.

The dildo shop? No. A million? Holy fuck. I actually don't know. It doesn't say. This is some sordid behavior from our boy. How much did you spend?

$16? Westside Tavern. $16. Assume it was two brews if I had to guess. Probably one with New York's prices. Of course. Brutal. It's fucking brutal living in this fucking one horse town.

I've always talked about how important it is to keep like a slim wallet. It keeps like the waste out but then I'll catch myself just keeping some random ass business cards. I had a thick ass wallet before and then I everyone was judging me so I took everything out. But you still have a bunch of nonsense. just keeping some random ass business cards. I had a thick ass wallet before and then I, uh, everyone was judging me so I took everything out.

But you still have a bunch of nonsense. Like, what is this? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bro, let me just ask what that one thing is. You never go and grab out another man's wallet. Go and grab in mine, bro. Grab in mine. I don't want to grab in yours. Why? You're afraid that something's gonna come out and bite you? Let me see. Don't you have like eight IDs? Yeah. More than you do. More than you've gotten taken away

in the last month. Why do you have so many IDs? In case someone needs to fucking check on who I am. What the hell is this? An ID. Oh, that's the get out of jail free card. What the fuck is this?

It's literally a get out of jail free card. PDA card. Yeah, it's friend of police. Why does it say Barstool Sports on it? Because Rhea got a bunch of them. She got a gang of them.

Because one time we were smoking outside. It was like me, Devlin, Ben Fredette. Why are the Twin Towers in the skyline? Because we're never forgetting, bro. I don't know what your whole thing is about trying to forget. Didn't know you were a fucking lib.

What do you mean? Being friends with the police is a lib behavior now? Wow. A guy like me, bro. I don't need one of these. They already know. Because you're a fucking lib. As soon as they see me, they know. Yeah, but they recognize you from throwing bricks at them with your black mask on with

the fucking Antifa crew. They recognize you from dropping off pallets of cinder blocks outside of banks to try to convince people to commit crimes against the establishment. Nah. Against corporations. That ain't me. You think that fucking chicks in the office will ever realize that i'm putting this fucking banana up no it actually fits their aesthetic pretty well i know bro and every time you fucking watch chicks in the office and see this banana in

the background just know that the fucking sons of boy dads were in here fucking so rowdy ass boys messing shit up unfortunately the chicks in the office numbers have been plummeting i know losing all their listeners. So they're actually going to blow up this room and make it a son of a boy dad room. Yeah, they're going to blow out two of the walls like a home renovation. They're thinking open concept for in here. Maybe an island over there. We're island boys for sure.

Oh, yeah. We'd like to have a nice granite countertop that we can circle around. Not this faux marble bullshit. Not this ovary shaped table. How about something penis shaped oh yeah that'd be hilarious they make uh they make their um like when you watch their their show the room looks huge it's not oh they're in a broom closet this is i'm touching the wall and i'm also touching another wall right now and ron are pushed up against each other do you think when they have

guests come in they sit on the couch? The couch is just for looks? Yeah. Can we throw something on on that TV? Some fucking sports center or some shit like that? Yeah. The top 10 or some shit like that? So we can like shoot the shit with Shane.

You know, you like sports. Just throw on Notre Dame highlights from when he comes in. Notre Dame. Notre Dame. You got to sit, you got to dummy down the T's. What is the high school? Notre Dame? What is it? Notre Dame? What high school? What dummy down the T's what is the high school Notre Dame what is it Notre Dame what high school

what isn't there a private school there's a high school by me yeah there's probably Notre Dame's in every fucking are you talking about the one that's by my house that we drove past

that one time no there's one in Massachusetts I believe that's called Notre Dame Notre Dame no Notre Dame is only like

if you're actually French and you're talking about the church that's how they call it that's what they call it Notre Dame. Notre Dame? No. Notre Dame is only like if you're actually French and you're talking about the church. That's how they call it. That's what they call it. Notre Dame? No, they say Notre Dame. Like I didn't even know today. Oh, from doing chess yesterday? Oh yeah, the pecs are tight. Really? Rough gym day. Why? Because it was your first time back in there?

It's just tough getting back into it because the whole entire time I'm like, well, I could just be laying in bed. And your testosterone levels have fucking ved out dude my muscle mass i lost so much muscle mass in the two weeks that i didn't go to the gym i'm glad you're saying it it's from the edamame it that ass is no it's not dude i know i looked it up there's more estrogen in like meat than there is in edamame yeah but there's also more fucking testosterone in me too bro dude there's 20 grams of protein in like a serving of edamame. No, bro.

You don't fucking want that shit, man. I'm telling you, bro. You're wrong. That's why I'm making gains and you're not, bro. I am making gains. Bro, you've been plateauing for a minute now. No, I've been making serious gains. I haven't seen any gains in the last couple months.

Yeah, because I haven't shown you my latissimus dorsi. I haven't flashed my fucking lower abs, bro. Let me show you my abs. I tookimus my latissimus dorsi bro i haven't flashed my fucking lower abs bro let me get let me show you my abs i took a nice picture of them this morning did you actually you weren't trying to photoshop like you did on big cat's uh abs nah oh should i show the camera god damn i didn't realize you had it like that body yaddy yaddy yaddy yaddy yaddy yaddy yeah why do you give yourself a farmer's tan because it's more realistic it's more realistic i have a farmer's i don't think i gave myself one i think i just have one yeah that's just how that's how

that natural 100 natural picture looks you should uh gift shane a uh this one was before the tan. Your fucking abs are... You know how much work you'd have to do to get abs like that? I know. Your life would have to be so bad to have abs like that. Dude, the one I did of Big Cat was so good. Yeah, it looks fucking great. He looks like... He looks like he's got some big old titties, though.

Yeah, I mean, well, he's been on the bench. He's got cans. He's just been on the bench he's got cans he's just been on the bench and like they're well formed at the fucking top and bottom you know what i mean he's been on the incline he's probably working the cables oh yeah you did the hit any cables yesterday oh yeah i did yeah yeah which way down or up we're just like straight flies straight flies holy fuck bro yeah i hate when people at the gym do that where they take up the whole thing and they're like, it looks sick though. It does look sick.

But they're only doing like three pounds on each side. That's all you need to do, bro. I know. Just to get those fucking titties right. So is Shane going to come, bro? Or what? Like what's going on? Bro, fucking you knew he was going to be fucking a minute late, bro.

And it's literally one minute late. Three minutes late. You told me, you told me 2.58. And he said that he's going to be late because of late. Three minutes late. You told me 258. And he said that he's going to be late because of traffic. 301. Well, why don't you

take that up with him? Am I my brother's keeper, bro? Is he driving in? Am I my brother's keeper? Bro, you didn't even reply to his last text. He probably thinks that he's not coming in anymore.

No, I didn't. It was 20 minutes ago his last text. He'll be in, bro. Fucking relax, bro. Also, Jack Harlow asked me for my number. Oh, okay. Sure.

You still keeping that same tune? I know. You told me. Didn't he call you? Yeah. And he was like, bro, I need someone to fucking write a new song. And I was like, what's popping? And he was like, that's it, bro.

That's the fucking one. You answer the phone and you're like, what's popping? And he was like, that's it, bro. That's the fucking one. You answer the phone and you're like, what's popping? It was like, he just instantly hung up. That's it. That's fucking it. Holy fuck, this guy's good. I'm trying to get in the songwriting game. You should.

You should ghostwrite. I know Drake needs a ghostwriter. I almost wrote a song for Kanye one time. I fucking got close. the ghostwriter i almost wrote a song for kanye one time i fucking got close a dude asked me uh if i could uh he said how much for uh a hook and or like for a flow in a verse and it was just a random guy emailing my email address and it turned out to be this guy yeah i said 300 bucks i didn't know it was kanye's i didn't know he was affiliated with kanye 50 000 it was this guy named jeff basker b-h-a-s-k-e-r and he produced all of

808s and heartbreak or whatever damn and he was like we need more and there was like a video i had and he was like we need more like lines like this and it was like a line i said like i could make it bounce and like and i don't even need a sports bra or something like that and uh two weeks later kanye has like a line that says like i can make it bounce no sports bra really and he was like showing me he was like i showed kanye your rap battles like i showed him this two-on-two battle he was like talking specifically about you in the battle he was like this kid's obviously the star and ever since then i've been like fuck it bro kanye's on the dick and then he stole a fucking bar from me he's double he's double dipped on the dick

why'd he steal your verse I think that it was just like a he needed something like that and so he just took it he didn't take the whole verse

he just took like it's like one concept it's like one half of a line of a concept or whatever you gotta fuck him fuck Kanye now you gotta fuck him

fuck him fuck him or fuck Kim you gotta fuck Pete Davidson yeah that would be the best way to get back at Kanye But that'll send Kanye That'll send Kim running back to Kanye's arms And that's what Kanye wants

I have to fuck that Yeah he's in a tough position right now bro Yeah he's going through it bro Fucking Uncle Wallo told me that he was Man Uncle Wallo was just hanging out with him bro Shoutouts to fucking Killian Wallo was just hanging out with him, bro. Shout out to fucking Gillian Wallo. I know.

Are you a bitch? I choked on my Wawa. Best thing about Phillies, they have Wawa, bro. Yeah, they do. Put a little respect on Wawa. So does New Jersey. So does Florida. You know what doesn't? So does Maryland and Delaware Florida Massachusetts has none of those cool chains I know

we don't have any Pubix is it Pubix or Publix Pubix you know it's Pubix it's like Latinx but Pubix yeah that's like a Florida thing right it's a grocery store Publix or like I think they have them in Atlanta too the Pub Sub yeah people love those

that's the same thing with Wawa and they'll be like you have to try a pub sub and you eat it and it's so stupid chicken fingers on a roll yeah people are like dude you gotta go to pubix it's like the it's like the best it's the craziest grocery store ever and then you go in and it's just like every single other grocery store yeah we're gassing up pubix pubix fans are about to be heated but i think it's the same thing with Wawa. Like, Wawa is fine, and it's, like, good if you're, like, in a pinch going from one place to another. But, like, when people are like, as soon as I got to Philly, I got Wawa. What's the difference between Wawa and just, like, a Cumberland Farms?

I don't think we have Cumbies. Ah. Bro, Cumberland Farms is the spot. As soon as I touch down a mess i gotta go to cubby's is it a drive-thru like one of those places maybe some advil holy game over oh you can get this biggest hangover cure couple of advil and a cumbie slush and you just take a shit in the ocean and you're fucking good to go you gotta fucking poop in the ocean i i could never poop in the ocean i've wanted to and i don't think my body would let me i've only poop poop in the ocean. I could never poop in the ocean.

I've wanted to, and I don't think my body would let me. I've only pooped in nature once. It was when I had food poisoning, and that was when I found out that I had food poisoning. When you were just shitting in nature? Oh, yeah. You took a look at your stool and realized that it wasn't natural? Oh, no. Dude, if you're shitting in the woods, it's not natural. It didn't coil like a fucking snake ready to be charmed no that was crazy that was like i think have i talked about

that i'm starting to lose track of what i've talked about you got to start listening to the show bro i know i'm gonna start listening to every episode also while we're here uh crazy amount of people who have been replying saying that they've seen the hat man and they're like bro i totally forgot about this like i had this happen to me when i was so young and i completely forgot about it until now maybe they were watching like oliver twist or some shit like that people are sending me like videos to like documentaries about it do they have video proof of the hat man no no one nobody's nobody's taken any video of it but everyone's seen it's a ghost well they can't just whip out their camera and film the ghost no why no one does that in that situation why not what why if everyone knows thing i would do first of all that wasn't like a thing when i was that young but if everybody

didn't have that fancy new technology did they go extinct when technology happened no they still happen some people literally you were probably on twitter when this happened. No, I was like 12. You were on Twitter when you were 12? Yes, you were. No. Sixth grade is 12. I wasn't on Twitter in sixth grade. You were on in seventh grade. Nah.

Yeah. Maybe I was younger then. Maybe I was younger. But no, I don't think I was because I think I must have been in eighth grade. I just don't. Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. That was the song I cut my cake to at my wedding. Really?

Yeah. That's funny. I thought the bride cuts the cake. Well, we cut the cake simultaneously. It's kind of a symbol, both hands on the knife. Oh, Jesus Christ. Bro, that's cringe. What, bro?

Getting married is cringey. It's choogy. Marriage is choogy AF. If you saw the fucking bill I dropped, that'd be fucking choogy, bro. Yeah, how much did you spend? I heard Frankie talking about how he said that he wants to have no money left by the end of his wedding. Yeah, I spent a lot of it. I spent a lot of the money.

Really? Why didn't you just have Portnoy pay for it? You should have invited him. Yeah, I could have. I just didn't want it to be about him. You know what I mean? It's always about him. That's what I'm saying.

Same with you, bro. That's why I couldn't have you come through. You would have taken the speech. You would have taken the microphone in the middle of the ceremony and tried to do some fucking Rittenhouse bits. That would have been awesome. Or doing the Chappelle on the thigh during his best man speech. I gotta start doing that when I'm doing stand up. People do that all the time.

Yeah, I don't understand why. Sometimes it works. Yeah. Oh, I understand. Sometimes it works and it's funny. Other times if someone does it and they're not doing well, it's really cringy. Just pretending to laugh? Yeah.

I think, you know what's one thing that's corny about stand-up comedy is that everyone's said all the jokes before. And they're just pretending to say them for the first time. I don't think so. You don't think it's corny or you don't think that people are pretending to say them for the first time? I don't think people are pretending to say them for the first time. Oh, you just got a text from the young bull. He's here. The bull is here.

Fuck yeah. Let me get my wallet, bro. Toss me that fucking brick. For the Shan Gillis interview, let's head into an ad. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's head into an ad. part of my life. And anytime I have a little bare bottom on, I feel better. Whether I'm wearing the stretch jogger, the tech tee and the hoodie, the loft comfort jogger slash hoodie collection, the natural dyed tee with the ace pant, the all day cup, bro, I have it all. I wear it all and I love it all. Bare bottom is on a mission to make the most comfortable made to last menswear around. They have soft stretchy gear that stretches with

your body and your schedule. It's going to love you and your love handles, and it's going to caress you in your calves. Every part of this is just top notch clothing. You're going to like their pants. They have super stretchy elastic waistbands and it's soft pant season. You got to wear something soft, especially if you're eating, you're going to want the bare bottoms on. And for a limited time, you can snag their highly rated joggers, shorts, and briefs at big discounts with their special bundles and mystery packs. You're also going to do some good in the process because each item purchase is matched with a donation of a school lunch to a child in need. Over 125,000 school lunches have already been donated this year

and you can get 10% off your first order by going to barebottomclothing.com slash sun. That's B-E-A-R, like the animal, bottomclothing.com slash sun. Now let's get back to this funny ass fucking conversation between myself, Sass, and Shane Gillis. fucking conversation between myself,

Sass, and Shane Gillis. Definitely go and buy that product. They all listen? The entire squad? Dude, we got some teams that listen to our shit, too. It's nice. Yeah, a couple Marines, but probably not SEALs. Still not.

Yeah, it's nice to have them. How are you feeling? You look like you don't want to be here. He's hurting. It's too early in the morning. It's deep into it. We're going, but but we cannot be going oh we're already going yeah i mean we were just going earlier what are you guys chatting about i don't even remember we're just we're just starstruck by you being in here we're just so excited don't be a dick bro i threw up

before you walked in he was that nervous what's What's good, bro? We were actually going through our wallets, seeing what kind of filth we could get out. Our boy Sass has the Kevlar. Here's the Kevlar number over there with a bunch of receipts in it, just in case. That's a thin wallet, bro. I got the Tommy Hill figure. You do? I have two debit cards. Okay.

Dude, thin is what you can aspire to. That's what I always wanted to be. Have a thin ass wallet. But sometimes I'll just have like... Do you ever rock a money clip? No. No? Good God. I had a money clip when I was like in like fifth grade. Alright. That's fair. That's fair. It was sick. It was sick. But just being a precocious youth who like wears a full

suit and like has a briefcase and a fucking money clip. My grandpa had a money clip so I got one. I didn't even have a money clip though. I just had like a paper clip. And you had a money clip, so I got one. I didn't even have a money clip, though. I just had like a paper clip. And you just wanted, did you have enough bill? I didn't even have money when I was like in fifth grade. I think I just asked my mom if I could have some ones. To carry around.

Fuck yes, bro. Dude, I'm happy you're here. What were you doing last night? What were you doing last night? Nothing, just doing stand-up. I saw a tweet from you at like uh four in the morning or something like that yeah i was tweeting yeah you were but it wasn't it wasn't like you weren't uh going off the deep end or anything like that no my friends were just

watching sopranos you know how you do that thing where you're like oh you're this guy you're this guy it's like dude we're all aj yeah unfortunately we're all bitched up like aj yeah it's fucking sad to see yes but deleted it i already deleted it did you really delete him you gotta delete the tweets no you gotta stop deleting them i tweet when you're drunk and then delete it in the morning and that's the only way what was your instagram story shameful and delete it what was the instagram story you put where were you just like Just like on vacation? Oh, yeah. I was in Jamaica. Thinking about all my bad tweets, man.

My bad tweets, man. That's when it started. That's when it started. I was getting fucked up in Jamaica and I wasn't doing stand-up and I don't know. I have this, I have creative juices. Oh, yeah. I need to get them out. Normally I do it on stage.

You lose talent. I have art and I do it on stage, but then I wanted to unleash on Twitter. And I did. It's a different medium as an artist. It's like painting or sculpting or something like that. It's a whole different medium. But you just light your head. And as an artist, I get hammered and tweaked.

But dude, painters definitely do that shit too. Probably. Painters are fucking obliterated. Yeah. We used to have murals up in our office and the painter was always shit-faced drunk whenever he was painting and you could tell whose faces he was working on when he was super drunk you ever see uh i think it's goya's the black paintings i think they're called the black paintings it was at the end of his life and he was that's where my twitter's at at the end of his life he just he would he lost his mind he would paint at night with like candles on top of his head and he painted just

the darkest shit you've ever seen that's that's where my twitter is i'm basically goya yeah yeah you are just the darkest shit that anyone could ever fucking imagine we're all fat gay pussies a million fucking retweets by morning and then it's fucking gone dude that's why you need that that chat bro that chat's our little sponsor and you could just nuke your shit bro you fucking sponsors what is this i'm sorry but it is a feature bro but i won't hit you with any more sponsors delete it just deletes everything it's everything delete everything and it would be something if like your numbies weren't going up but like you can still get an increase in your followers by deleting

yes it's not hurting anything. People are- So it's like now you got that Shane Gillis archive tweets. No, that guy DM'd me. It was like, do you want me to stop? I was like, yes. Oh, it was an ally that was doing that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought it was a foe. I thought it was someone plotting on your downfall. No, they've already got me down. Yeah? I'm already down. But that's what- They can't get me again. Are you impervious now?

Yeah. Really? Yeah, what could they take? Yeah, I guess. again. Are you impervious now? Yeah. Really? Yeah, what could they take? Yeah, I guess. I mean, you are self-sufficient. You're just all Patreon'd out. Go get the Matt and Shane Patreon. We'll do it early on.

Tell the people to fucking subscribe. But it's like, you're making your own money. You're not relying on the man for money. Our bitch ass is in here. We're like, Portnoy, can we please have some money? Really? Yeah, we're fucking working for him bro we work for another dude it's gonna be so hard to ask that guy for money i have to do that this week really what yeah i was i asked for more money and i asked the wrong person and then i got an email from the big man he sent a company

being like stop fucking asking anybody that's not me for more money. Then again, you got to see it from his perspective. Having a bunch of just fucking dickheads constantly like, I need more money. Or like my little show. I'm doing a little show. Like I'm doing this stupid little show that nobody watches. Like people definitely don't watch most of it. No, not us. As a whole, people probably don't watch most of what gets put out.

Fewer people watch a lot of the shit that gets put out. And people that do watch. Yeah, facts. Facts. But we got to see you a little bit this weekend. Yeah, we had a good time. It was a fun-ass- Not too much fun.

We're not going to talk about that. Yeah, we're not. We weren't even going to talk about that. I woke up the next day just like, what the fuck was that? I could feel it through the phone. The anxiety was like crawling through the phone like a fucking demon. Oh, my God. We might be in bad trouble, but we're not.

We're not. Have you been back? Yeah, I was there. Yeah. Last night. Two nights. Yeah. It was great.

Everything's good. Yeah, everything's good. Everything's so fucking good. How long are you in New York? I leave tomorrow. I'm doing a show in Philly, and then I'm in Texas for a couple days. Oh, fuck yeah. Nice, nice.

With Bert Kreischer. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, that'll be fun. You going to pop the top with him? I'm going to drink a little. Yeah, you should. We asked you if you wanted beers in here, and dude, I— I got to take one day off.

Can you? Yeah. Yeah, what do you mean? God damn, dude. I've been getting hit with this a lot. People are like, you have a problem right i'm like no but i could see it becoming a problem like doing stand-up oh for sure do you get drunk every time you go on stage no i get drunk a lot of times after are you like dead sober when you go on yeah really yeah and i think you probably get a lot of pressure like the

night that we we did the uh your your were like, dude, you got to drink. Like people are shoving drinks in your hands. On the road, it's not as bad. It's easy to be like, no. Yeah. But the clubs in New York, it's fun because you're just around comics. Yeah. You're going up, you're doing well, and then you get off and everyone's like, let's hang out.

Yeah. You're with your dogs. You're with your buddies every night. You're with the bros. You get to do some goofy shit, make some bad fucking decisions. You know what I mean? What was the one video that you popped up on your Instagram? It was just like Aziz on stage and you just popping out.

Yeah, it's fun. How did Aziz like that? I don't think he knows about that until right now. Until now. He's a friend of the pod. I was with him last night. Good bro. Yeah?

Yeah. I saw he was on that Netflix festival lineup. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't even know about that. Bro, put Sass onto some, give Sass some fucking

advice, bro. Tell Sass what to fucking do in his life. He wants to be like you. Bro, I want to be you. He does. I want to be you. He does. You're going to have to start bulking. He said

yesterday was a chest day. He fucking tried to push it on the chest. No lifting, dude. Just drinking. A dirty bulk. Exclusively the dirty bulk. Thick bulking. And then lose all your friends and family from home.

I don't know if you have that. Do you have friends? You don't strike me as a friends guy. And then, yeah, lose all your, you know, friends and family from Rome. Yeah. I don't know if you have that. Do you have friends? You don't strike me as a friends guy. Bro, I got Rome. He's all I need. He's like a brother to me. No, he was like a friend in Oregon and he was like a friend in Colorado and a friend in Nashville. And those are like his only three friends.

And they're identical to him. And they fucking talk like him. They look like Christopher Robin like him. They're just all the same thing as him. Those are my boys. It's it's crazy but he only has a few it won't be hard to cut them off it's like a deep bass network cut them off now you're only gonna hang out with comics you cut them off because it's shit you say or was it like or you're just like they're not fucking doing no no no no that's how it goes you don't cut them off you just they you don't live with them anymore yeah yeah that's all yeah and then uh yeah you just do stand-up every single day for 10 years and then you get the your dream job

wait this is kind of sass's dream actually before sass worked here he would always like tweet he would like talk shit on barstool he'd be like i used to talk big time did you undeleted undeleted i'm sure they're all deleted i had some bad no i would never tweet like fuck barstool oh we would just on the podcast be like the fucking barstool i hated everybody really yeah i was just lashing that's the way it is that's the that's the most fun point of like social media true being a hater when you when you don't have any repercussions or like you're not going to be in the same social circles of any of the people next thing you know in one year you're around all the people you shit on all the fucking barstool dudes and the other comics that you shit on are just in your fucking face so do you not

have the need to shit on them anymore or is it just uh you yeah like are you like happy enough that you don't have to do that anymore or you just like you see them so a lot of that yeah the bitterness comes from being an open mic or in philly and being like i'm better than them why are they having fun i should be having fun it is so simple to be like that where were you living in philly when you were doing all that was in it was close to drexel i was in mantua oh drexel's west philly yeah yeah that's uh i lived in a basement in west philly Really? Was it bad? Yeah Rent was $200

And I struggled I never got it Matt would pay for me He would? Yeah he would get my rent a lot What type of time was Matt on there? He was selling drugs Matt seems so wholesome

He is He sells drugs in a wholesome way He's still slinging? No And he never got caught? I don't think he got caught I think he got robbed at gunpoint He jokes about it

He's like I would just go around and collect money And then finally somebody with a gun would come up And be like give me all that And he'd be like damn it That sucks Him with the flute And finally, somebody with a gun would come up and be like, give me all that. And he'd be like, damn it. Fuck. That sucks. That would be pretty defeating. Get the fuck back into it. Yeah.

Dude, him with the flute is preposterous. It's getting there. That's a preposterous individual that you got across from you. Matt's wild. Yeah. I saw a dude on the train today or like he was like sitting outside of like the 4th Street Station and he was like playing the flute along to like Celine Dion or something like that.

And then like he took a breath and the fucking flute kept on going. He was like a Milli Vanilli situation. He was just faking the funk with the flute. He was just pretending to play the flute. That's nice. Yeah, I've seen it. You know what I'm talking about? I saw a dude playing guitar and then his phone like fell out of his pocket and there was

like an aux cord connected to it and everything. What? Yeah, he had like it all wired up. That's a great move. Yeah, it's smart. You're a homeless dude? It's smart. It's sneaky.

But a lot of them are pretty bad at pulling it off. It's very sneaky. Or there's a dude in Philly who's been there for probably about 10 years at this point who's at 4th and Market, and he plays the saxophone every day. And he can't play a single song. He's just like, and it just doesn't have any kind of consistent melody. But people will come up and take pictures with him, take video of him, dance.

And if you only see it once, you're like, oh, he's avant-garde and jazzy. But really, he's just smashing buttons on there. There's a guy who used to dance on Broad Street every day. Not Philly Jesus. You know who Philly Jesus is? Yes. That's a dude. Yeah, that's a good one he's

a his name he used to uh we used to have an event on uh like third and south street called the jam house and philly jesus used to be a juggler who would come up on stage his name was opal weaver and he would fucking just he would just juggle for like 15 minutes philly jesus i think philly jesus spazzed a couple times he. He probably did. Like yelled at people. But he's fully dressed as Jesus and he carries around like a full life-size cross like all day. That's awesome. But charges for pictures. And like he'll have like his boy who's wearing like a North Face.

Like if you try to take a picture, he'll like come up and try and shake you down. You kind of alleged it. Dude, that's the worst. That's like in Times Square. That was when I like we live in Hell's Kitchen right now. And I just like walk through Times Square to go home. God damn. Yeah, it sucks.

That's not going to be good. No. Well, we're moving. If you're doing stand-up, having a bad set, and then walking through Times Square. Yeah. It's real sad. Yeah, but I remember that was instantly when I knew it was a fuck-up to move there, because would like walk home and they'd be like i'd be like pissed and like elmo would like come up and like try and hug me and like get it because they try and like be nice to you so that you take a picture with them you have to pay them yeah how do they

shake you down do they have do they have partners do they have like roger they have a whole squad like where do they where does elmo keep his wallet even dude they have they they're so minimum effort yeah they're all like hondurans yeah they're they're so minimum effort yeah they're all like Hondurans yeah they're so low effort they all like have backpacks on over their thing

and they have like a mask over the Elmo thing it might be pretty sweet though to tell your Honduran family back home that that's what you're doing I'm Elmo

yeah I'm Elmo in Times Square soy Elmo soy Elmo soy y tu soy Armando soy Elmo tambien the whole family of elmos freddy krueger

where have you lived uh in new york have you lived all over the place like i don't even know how hell's kitchen is like i don't even know i don't go anywhere i don't i know how Hell's Kitchen is. Like, I don't even know. No, I don't go anywhere. I don't. I've lived in this city now for three years and I've, I go to just, I Uber to comedy clubs. I don't know one thing. Do you even take the train anywhere? No, I don't. I haven't taken the train in a while. Why? Because it's fucking.

Well, ours stops like a 20 minute walk. Yeah. To get to it. Yeah. It's too much walking outside. Yeah. It's a 20 minute walk and it takes an hour to get everywhere from. Yeah.

It's too much walking outside. Yeah, it's 20-minute walk, and it takes an hour to get everywhere. It's too much. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I could be real slovenly if I didn't have to walk to the train, though. Yeah, that's catching up to me. Yeah, I haven't walked in two years. Yeah, I never walk. I'll look at my steps sometimes, especially on the weekends, and I'll be like, 300. And I'm like, that's bad.

Dude, I can hit some days. I'm like, I must have not had my phone on me or something no i had it yeah just if you're only getting 300 steps in a day or like my fucking screen time during quarantine was like astronomical yeah it's bad like heavy double digits oh yeah like a couple weeks ago when like a of months ago when Instagram went down, I checked Instagram all day. Just waiting for it to be up? I would literally just check it and be like, oh, fuck, it's down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a minute later, be like, holy shit. Like, just kept going back. Yeah, you don't realize how much- We're all addicted to phones. Bro, thank you, bro. What the fuck, dude? That's what the fuck I've been saying, bro.

Harvey, what's going on with you stand up, dude? Hank, step one, go by your real name i know we need to do this yeah it's time but it's not uh it's not gonna be right now but what are you waiting for though you gotta kind of just like bite the bullet and uh dude people know my name and like some dude dm me yesterday rings bell yeah i was about to say do you not think it rings bells because it rings bells your name rings bells no i, some dude yesterday sent me a video of me walking up in my cap and gown at graduation. I was like, dude, where the fuck? I don't even know where to find that.

Where the fuck did you find that? Or someone replied to a tweet of yours with a picture of a chubby 12-year-old you sitting on a dock or something like that. Where did they find that? I don't know, dude. Where is that from? I don't know where they get it. They get your mom's Instagram. Probably. some shit yeah so weird or someone sent me his dad's oh yeah someone said you might say that someone sent me

his dad's twitter and i was just scrolling through it his dad posts on twitter all the time my dad's like a social justice warrior online dude having uh having Sypha Sounds and Lil Sasquatch be at the top of a fucking bill, it kind of sounds like a rap show. I would have imagined Lil Sasquatch was a rapper. It sounds like one. I know, I gotta change it.

We did like a rap song with... No, I'm such a fucking idiot. Such a stupid idea. No, this is good, dude. You need to fucking... Because he respects you, like we said. I want to be you.

And another thing we glossed over. Stop. He said multiple times like he did it every night. You're like every couple weeks. I ask because I gotta send in my schedule for January. Show him your punch card, dude. Yeah.

He got an open mic punch card. I got my open mic punch card. got my open mic punch card that he he has to go to a certain amount of open mics that he pays for no that's about right i got nine more to go you're in a tough spot because you have fans before stand-up yeah that's hard to do it's weird because i wouldn't do open mics if i was a draw i did i did them i did them for like a couple months yeah but it came to a point it was also like right when they opened up again it came to a point where i was like this is i think this is less helpful than it is it could be i don't know i didn't do open

mics in new york yeah i waited i was in philly until i was 30 yeah i would like go from work at like five and i would like take the train i would like go and do you got to pay for like the two drink minimum and stuff and then you get there and it would be like me and one other person yeah host and they'd be like you guys can do like 15 minutes they're like to just to you too no no thank you was it like that early on in uh in philly i assume it's probably worse in some spots if you're doing open mics. Yeah, Philly was grim. Philly had a good scene, though. Like, Raven Lounge in Philly is good.

Helium on Tuesdays is good. Yeah, it was nice. Would it be, like, crowded? Yeah. And there'd be 60 fucking comics. Really? Yeah, but that gets to the point where you're, like, you're literally seeing the same people do the same act. Yeah, yeah.

For five fucking years. That's crazy. Some people don't change their act. So you're watching a guy do the same act. yeah for five fucking years yeah it's crazy some people don't change their act so you're watching a guy do the same act what is he what is he waiting for

or he's just trying to get like the jollies of having gone up there yeah they're having fun how often are you trying new shit when you go up like uh

if you say Saturday night like how different were all your sets that you did probably the same a lot of them were the same about the same

yeah yeah and then maybe mixing in a little bit of new shit mix in some new stuff see if you can you got to meet caleb too yeah he's wild holy shit exactly who he appears to be yeah what kind of what because that was like a the night kind of got a little hazy at that point what were the uh what were the signifiers of him being wild what what times was he showing you of being a wild child something uh i don't know if we're allowed to talk about. Of course. If he threw up, he dies?

Oh, yeah. Oh, we can't talk about that. Is that true? As soon as he said it, I was like, well, that's not true. That can't be true. He's been saying it for a long time. He definitely has stomach. I know he has stomach problems, but I don't think it's that bad.

He said he had a hiatal hernia, which means that his stomach gets sucked up into his esophagus or vice versa. And part of his body is in another part of his body. And he had surgery to get it reversed. But if he throws up, it'll unreverse it. And he has to take pills or some shit. But he still gets shit-faced. And he still stays out until all hours. Yeah, he risks it.

He puts it all on the line. I appreciate it. He literally was sitting there. We're all drinking heavily. And he's like, if I throw up, I'll die. I'm like, all hours. Yeah, he risks it. He puts it all on the line. Yeah. I appreciate it. He literally was sitting there. We're all drinking heavily. And he's like, if I throw up, I'll die. I'm like, alright. That can't be true. Yeah. But then later on, he took Sass out and like... He was being so

annoying. He kidnapped him. He took his phone away and he was feeding him shots. Canceling my Uber. And we were out until like four in the morning. Wait, that night? Yeah. Oh, man. I missed that. I know. That's what I was saying. And he said that he was telling Sass, he was like, Ronan will never playing my uber and we were out until like four in the morning wait that night yeah oh man i know i know that's what i was saying and he said that he was telling sass he was like ronald never do this ronald never take you out like what the fuck bro i'll show you a good time i'll show you a good ass time and then we were in line we were in line at the bar that we went to and he goes up to

the bouncer and he goes his idea is fake and then they wouldn't let me in for like five minutes and i was like dude like can i please go in and then finally he let me go i completely forgot about that until now that is really funny of him to do that though no it wasn't it's funny to ask like do you take fake ids to the people at the bar when they're going in unless someone has a fake id yeah i've been with him three times when he's gotten his fakes taken away oh no yeah he also it doesn't help he looks. Super young. Yeah.

That's why he needs to get fat, bro. He needs to get that dirty bolt going. You get it. Yeah. I think the fatter I get, the younger I look. Yeah. That's typically how that works. Although I'm defying that pretty well right now.

I'm just on a bit of a bender. Yeah. You're having fun. What did you do last night? Exactly. I just did stand up and drank. Nice. That's fucking sick.

That's it. You're, are you like, you're more successful and richer than you've ever been right now. Yeah. Is that true? Definitely. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. That's fucking sweet.

It's funny. I was thinking today, like, cause normally I would last, like I used to drink a lot and then I stopped for a while, but drinking back then was much sadder. Yeah. Fuck. I have 10 bucks. I spent it on Citywide's in Philly just doing

yeah. And now it's like, all right, things are still working. The drinking's not affecting anything yet. And yeah, it's like... And it will. It will. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a pretty rough crash. But this is a celebration period. Yeah, we're having fun. Like, this is like the fun...

Well, it shouldn't be a celebration. We just started but it's like a week one victory this is like the lions yeah the lions went one game yeah i got fucking one all i needed was one dude i used to go into my fucking roommate's room who had a job when i was like just battle rapping for money and i would like find like crumpled dollar bills on his floor and like take them from him. Yeah. I would like rob my friends until I could like fucking get like an egg sandwich from a food truck and fucking get a six pack of beer or some shit like that. That's it.

It was grimy and bad. Like as bad as you think you have it, like at least you're making money. Yeah. You need to suffer more. I know. We're going to need that money from you. Yeah. You're going to need to suffer.

Yeah. I'm going to send you all my money you can put into a savings account. Just so you can pay your $20. Literally paying your dues. You just need to grind a little bit. You've just been coddled too much. You've had success since 12. At such a young age. You've had success since 13. Wait, is that when you started tweeting? No,

I was like 13. 7th grade, yeah. Really? And it went well you were funny it didn't go well until like freshman year of college that's cool though no but it was going well in high school no not really where'd you go to school uh ducksbury high school no i'm in college oh give a fuck about ducksbury let's cut that out by the way what was your local definitely um i went to depaul in chicago but i dropped out after a year sick you dropped out because your twitter success i dropped out because covid happened and then we got sent home shit that was this yeah it just happened

it's fucked dude it's seriously fucked so uh covid happened and we got sent home and then i got hired at barstool when i got sent home and I just like stopped going to class and stuff. Yeah, there's no need. Yeah. But that's when they pulled up all the tweets of him being like, imagine working at Barstool. No, it wasn't that. It was verbatim that. I didn't know Barstool was like a company like this.

Like I thought it was just like the Instagram. Sure. And I tweeted and my tweets exactly were like Barstool is like the lowest form of comedy. I think that's about what I was hitting. I think that's about where I was. I think I was like, it's the chive. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude. I think it was actually, I said total frat move in barstool. Yeah. I was just being a fat little fucking pussy. Yeah. But that's what you were doing too. Exactly. A little pussy.

I was. They're having fun. Yeah. But it's also kind of true. Like there's a grain of truth to it. You know what I mean? You know, I think you And you're like, they're having fun. And I'm not. But it's also kind of true. Like, there's a grain of truth to it. You know what I mean? You don't have to back off. I think you guys, I think Barstool's aged well.

I think the comedy has aged well. And self-aware, like, yeah, people being able to say whatever they want, that's aged well. And I think that there's been a grain of, like, self-awareness that's kind of grown a little bit. That's like, okay. And of course that's how it was. You guys were all young. If a successful thing is a bunch of college dudes it's gonna be corny yeah it's gonna be embarrassing like just what they think is funny at the time now you guys are getting a little older shit's starting to fall apart on you guys in your personal lives it's not great

also like people are relentlessly mean from all angles it's just like that's like super humbling like at all times someone's just like flaming the fuck out of you. That's the best part about Barstool is that the fans hate everyone at Barstool. Yeah. They hate Barstool. Like just this morning, people are like, is it just me? Like, am I the only one in Philly who fucking hates Roan? Yes.

Yeah. I was reading the comments today. I was checking out some comments about myself. You're a big comment guy, right? Yeah. I read them. Oh, everyone? I think everybody does. checking out some comments about myself. Yeah, you're a big comment guy, right? Yeah, I read them. Oh, everyone? I think everybody does.

You're just honest about it. Yeah, it's weird. Every comedian's always like, I can't even look at that. And then it's funny because I'll notice, because I'll see it. I'll read someone trashing another comic who says they don't read the comments. And then I'll talk to them and they'll be like, fucking Reddit. I was like, that was one comment. Dude, I read all the comments.

And it's gotten to the point where they all comment. They know. They're like, hey, Harry. We know you're reading this. Yeah, they hit me with that. Hi, Harvey. Someone will say, hey, Shane. Yeah.

What were they saying this morning? Were they giving you a hard time? Yeah, they've been giving me a hard time. Why? Why, bro? My looks, usually. Usually my looks. But would you rather get trashed by your looks or like your jokes?

I don't mind getting trashed about my looks compared to if somebody gets me on my comedy, that hurts. That hurts. Or my art. Your fucking art performance. Or my art, bro. Not the fucking art. Don't come for bro's art, bro.

Yeah. It is weird how much dudes constantly comment on physical appearance. Yeah. I wonder. But I always try to click on their profile to comment back and flame flame them and they are always pretty hot like they're all pretty good looking dudes it's like what the hell that's like everywhere every time i click on the profile they've got like eight kids yeah life i'm like what are you doing yeah that honestly would do the fuck are you doing well that's actually exactly what you should be doing i know you

know creating life creating a a beautiful wife the nuclear family showing like a shred of respect to the nuclear family instead of just hoping to get fucking divorced just plant your seed all over the place and fucking have a bunch of children who was trying to do that that just fucking died was jobs trying to do that someone's trying to just have as many fucking kids as they could all over the place. Easy E. And then they died. No, no. I don't think it was E. It was. Was it? Yeah.

I mean, his body had like a competition to see who, how many girls they could get. Is that true? Yeah. Is that how we got?

That backfired. Yeah. Big time. Big time. Like the first one? Basically worst case scenario. God damn. That's terrible.

A terrible place and time to be doing that too. In LA in the 90s? Yeah. Could have picked any other time to be doing that, too. Fucking L.A. in the 90s? Could have picked any other time to have that contest with his boys and fucking... It's a good contest. It is a good contest. Who can have the most children? Fuck, I got eight.

You win. That is winning in a way. Yeah, true. No, his other boy fucking... He dodged that bullet, bro. And he's still going. He dodged that house. He's got 90 kids.

That house in Virginia. Hang on. I got another ad to give you. And you're going to like this one. In fact, you're going to love this one. In fact, this one's going to change your life. How you are, how you act, and how you think. Because BetterHelp is the premium online way to get a little bit of therapy

for yourself. And you can go to betterhelp.com right now slash son for 10% off your first month. The best way to think about therapy is through these analogies. Of course, we get our cars tuned up to prevent bigger issues down the road, or we get annual checkups. We go to the gym to make sure that we're physically in some well-being. We do chores to make sure the house is clean. Or why not do some chores on your brain? Why not do a little spring cleaning on your brain during the winter months? Going to therapy is just like all of that. It's routine maintenance for your mental and emotional wellness to prevent bigger issues down the road. It doesn't mean something's wrong with you. It means that you're investing in yourself to keep your mind healthy. I started doing BetterHelp not because I had some cataclysmic life event

where I needed to fix everything. It was like, let me work on myself. Let me work on this in just tiny ways. And BetterHelp has been the perfect companion. You can do customized online therapy. They have video. They have phone calls. They have live chats. If you don't want to be on camera looking at your face in the camera while you're going through everything that's going on in your brain, you could just do a phone session. It's that simple. That's my method of choice. Once a week, it's nothing. It's very simple. It can be more affordable than in-person therapy, and you could start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. You just fill out a couple things, say what you might want to talk about, and then bam, they'll set you up with

someone who is a licensed professional who knows exactly what they're doing. Why invest in everything else and not invest in your mind? And this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and son of a boy dad listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash son. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash son. Let's get back to this interview. But what was the, how long have you been doing the podcast before it like really started to blow up? Like how long have you and Matt been doing Matt and Shane's secret podcast? We started probably like six years ago. Six years?

That's crazy. So you were early to the podcasting thing. We already had the podcast when Trump got elected. So you're three presidencies. You guys have been going strong. Yeah, we started under Obama. Yeah? When did it start to pop off?

Well, it's funny because right when we started libsyn was fucking the the server we use for our podcast that gives us numbers was fucking up and it was telling us like 40 000 people are listening to this every week and we were like dude this is crazy and then like and then like five months later they were like sorry about that bug here's your real numbers it was like 140 people oh my god damn it that would actually ruin that would ruin which was actually it probably helped because otherwise we may have stopped yeah you know what i mean but we saw those numbers we got to satisfy this stadium of people. That was literally our thought process. I was like, dude, 40,000 is a stadium. Yeah, it's the vet. Yeah.

And then, no, it started going well. And then from me doing like Bonfire and Legion of Skanks with like Soda and Jay. Yeah. And then, yeah, SNL. That's when people started really listening. That's when people hate listening for a bit? Probably, but no. Most people were like, a lot of times people are like, yo, if this guy got fired from SNL,

he's probably funny. Yeah, yeah. They're like, I'll check this out. It is Bojo. Do you hate listening to anything? No. I don't really hate. I'll hate follow people on social media, but I won't like hate listen to a whole podcast.

I tried to hate listen to one podcast and I turned it off in like 15 seconds. Yeah, it's tough. It's not worth your time to hate listen. But for some reason. Hate watch though. I tried to hate listen to one podcast and I turned it off in like 15 seconds. Yeah, it's tough. It's not worth your time to hate listen. But for some reason- Hate watch though. I hate- Oh, I hate watch all the time. It's almost every comedy special I watch.

I hate watch. What, like, what are you just like, destroying their jokes? Like who? No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what I'm, but I'm saying what's your thought process? Like, are you just like,

this shit isn't fucking funny? Or like, can you believe this? It's usually just like, this shit's unbelievable. Like, I can't believe people are making this. As they're offering, as their art. Yeah, their art. That's their fucking art. This is no art.

This ain't art. I know art. That's not fucking art right there. No, I have the same thing with other rappers, and I fucking do everything they say. The algorithm thinks I love them because I go to their fucking their twitter pages so much just to hear exactly

what they're saying like white rappers who only make fun of white people as like their entire shit that's comedy that's a lot of comedy yeah it's fucking crazy but respect to them. Keep on doing their thing.

You'll get there. You'll get there one day. Thank you, bro. Appreciate you, bro. But more nights for sass. Less of calling yourself little sasquatch. I understand it for the promoting. Definitely, but as soon as you get in the room, go by your name.

No, I've been doing that. He blew a light the other night. That's name. No, I've been doing that. I've been doing that. Perfect. He yeah, he blew he blew a light the other night. That's that's a tough one. Can't blow the light. But I explained I told you about it. Like I didn't know where the light was and I wish I did because it was going so well. And then I was like, where the fuck is the light? And I and I'm like started panicking and like just saying random shit. I thought about flashing mine. Yeah, you should have. I would have loved that.

Yeah, because you because Owen, you were getting uncomfortable, well yeah it was like eight minutes over i was just making shit up and i was sweating was it going well was making up stuff funny um because that can be funny no no it wasn't you were like circling back to other premises it was like a little bit nothing and i'm like i had had my phone on the bench and I didn't really look at it but then I'm just scrolling up and down and I'm like, there's nothing left. There's nothing here. You don't take a phone up with you or anything like that? I do.

To time it. I just set a timer right there. Although you're supposed to record your set. The trick is to record your sets and then listen back to them. I don't do that. I don't do that. I might start doing that. There was the dude who had the show with... It was like him and... There was a

documentary about Jerry Seinfeld or something and there was this one comic who was obsessed with fucking becoming the next Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? That's Orny Adams. Orny, he got fucked, I think, by that documentary because he looked like a jerk. Yeah, they made him look like a jerk.

He seemed like a weird jerk in that. In real life, he rules. And he's very good at stand-up. I believe it. He's really good. But he also had the NFL Films library of every set that he's ever done. There are guys that do that. And it probably made him good.

But I also just can't stomach watching or listening to myself like that. I can't. Yeah. I can't at all. Like you ever listened to your own show? You ever, have you ever listened to, sometimes I'll listen to,

yeah. It's just Matt. Matt says stuff. That's so funny. No, listening to my own standup is, uh, I don't do that.

You watch your whole special or no, I had to, I had to, that was very hard. Yeah. I was trying not to. And a lot of people were like, you have to do that

yeah I could see that especially because it's long yeah listening to something I could listen to something of myself for like a minute but almost an hour it's nice to

I watched it with someone who hadn't seen it yet yeah yeah and that was nice because they were laughing you could gaze the giggles that would make me so uncomfortable

putting it on in front of someone yeah yeah that's a very weird thing you ever just pull up and then halfway through you realize you're doing it and you're're like, I'm a fucking psycho. Like, holding a phone, like, watch this. It's me telling a joke.

It's like, dude. You want to just say it? You want to just say the joke? Why don't you just be funny here? Cut out the middleman real quick. Look at this time I was funny in Texas a year ago. Enjoy this. What's good with Gilly and Keys?

Are we... Yeah, you guys gonna continue that? We're working on something right now. We're in talks. We're in the talks. I fucking love talks, dude. Yeah, we're setting it up. I can't get enough of talks.

It's tough, though, because we, yeah, we just, you know, it's nice when you have a company behind you that's like, here's when we're filming. Now it's just me and John

talking to each other like, when do you want to do this? And it's easy to plan, but you want to put it off. It's like you here's when we're filming. Now it's just me and John talking to each other. Like, when do you want to do this? And it's easy to plan, but you want to put it off. It's like you're putting it off. So you guys do everything yourself? Yeah, we had a production company with Killian Keeps. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And you had Francis in one of your shits, dude. Francis, fuck him. I love Francis. He used to walk these halls, dude. You fucking probably smell him a little bit. I love Francis. It's kind of very un-barstool to have fired Francis. He used to walk these halls, dude. You fucking probably smell him a little bit in here. I love Francis. It's kind of very un-Barstool to have fired Francis. Like of everything Barstool stands for, for firing him for cracking a couple jokes.

He killed that girl. Yeah. He did fucking. When he told me that story, because I didn't know Francis before. I met him at like doing comedy. Yeah. And he was like you know i got canceled i was canceled too i was like what what happened and then he told me and it was so we were at a

fucking rangers flyers game really getting fucked up wait you didn't so you invited him to the game or went to the game he invited me yeah and then when we were walking around everyone was like yo francis i was like dude you're famous you suck i was like this bothers me i'm still a little bit of a right right and then we were talking about we were in the game and he was telling me what happened but it was it's funny because he was serious you know he was like yeah it was really hard and uh i wrote this article about this girl who i thought was alive and he kind of like slut shamed her or whatever or accused her of being a sugar daddy. I think she said, because she was a Call Her Daddy fan, right?

I don't know exactly what he said. And she was like, yeah, it was a sugar daddy thing. The best part though is he was like, and then they found her charred remains. And I was like, holy shit. And then thinking of Francis who's like such a

very nice, smart, fucking Francis who's like such a nice smart fucking he knows what dude he looks like a senator yeah yeah he could be a president he could right if it weren't for the charred remains shit like fucking charred remains that if she didn't get charred like if she had just like fallen or like if it was just uncharted charred is brutal fully uncooked or made with charred yeah but him being like her charred remains oh no dude and the worst thing is that he was writing that blog to like kind of like try to dig out from bad graces that he was in like there was like a show that he was supposed to dress up for he didn't dress up i saw it i watched it he was like yelling at the people being like why the fuck didn't you guys all dress up for this he was like going

scorched earth and then francis writes about charred remains after the fucking score and he was just trying to make something funny yeah i was with him that day he was like do you think i'm gonna get fired for this i was like bro you're fine dude don't worry about it i was telling him that he was just completely okay he wasn't he was. How long after it came out did he get fired? Hours. Really? Or, like, it was still in the mix. It was like...

That was kind of... You guys... The Barstool tried to save themselves on that one. Yeah. Because they were... I think you guys were getting some bad press. But it's like... I don't know.

Maybe I don't know exactly what I'm talking about. Bad press comes around, though. It's like, we should have probably stuck by him. There had to have been some other shit going on. But you know what's nice? He's doing great. He's doing fantastic he's doing fantastic yeah i saw him the other night listen to oops yeah yeah it's great and he's still doing he's doing stand-up right yes he's uh he's writing he's writing a bunch of shit he's creating shit he's one of those guys

though that like dude he's he's a psycho you're not he's not he's not going anywhere what do you mean he's a psycho? Because he is, but I just want to know what flavor psycho you're talking about. Like American Psycho, like working out naked. I have to succeed. He's going to succeed. He's going to have a six-pack in his 60s like Skip Bayless. Yeah, he's ripped.

He's the man. That picture that he posted. You know what? This is just becoming a suck fest on Frank. That's fine, though. He deserves it it especially after how we did him in here but uh he's one of those guys that gets happy for his friends and in comedy that's extremely rare yeah he he was really nice so i met him the other night and he watched my set and he's super nice if he sees someone do well yeah you know and that's it's got to be the generational wealth where he's just secure

he's just securing himself He's just securing himself. Like he just knows that he's straight. Oh, we, I fuck one more Francis. Weird. I was somebody who I was kind of making fun of him for going to Harvard. And he was like,

yeah, it's funny for people to make fun of me for an extremely successful thing. The most prestigious thing you could have been. You go to Harvard. You fucking pussy. Resident. Meanwhile, he's like six, did you go to Harvard? You fucking pussy. Resident. Meanwhile, he's like 6'3 and jacked. Like intelligent, like fast.

He could like rise up and dunk and shit. Like he would play in our intramural basketball games and he would just like dunk on the fast break. Be like, what the fuck, bro? He'd win the spelling bee and also dunk. That's why he got fired. That's why he got fired. He dunked at intramurals.

He's like, what the fuck? All the tiny Jews that run barstools. Get him out of here. I don't fucking think so, Francis. This fucking wasp fucking buzzing around here. He is a wasp. He is the archetype wasp, dude. He is the predator wasp.

He's a fucking killer bee. It's fucking tough. All right, we got to stop. It gets me fired up. I love Francis. It's great, bro. I'm rooting for him hard. And hopefully he has...

I don't know. I guess we can't talk about the shit that he has in the works, but I think they will be sweet. I hope it's cool. Yeah, I think he's got a lot of good shit. I hope it's cool. Yeah, that's one thing. He's also the face of bird dogs.

Nice. Right? Yeah. Every targeted ad I get is fucking Francis fucking talking about Lululemon and bird dogs. You got to do that, though. Be nice to comics. Like, if you see someone do well, go out of your way to be like, that was good. Have you always done that? No, not always, but...

No? Yeah. Do you feel like you do it now? Yeah, definitely. You feel like you big bro people? No, I don't want to do that. I'm not big bro. You're gonna be big bro to someone. Yeah. Hopefully. But, uh... Yeah, you gotta... If somebody does well, tell them. When you're starting, that's the best thing you can I'm going to be big bro to someone. Yeah. Hopefully. But, uh, no. Yeah. You got to, if somebody does well, tell them.

Cause that's it. When you're starting, that's the best thing you can get. It's like impossible to be good at comedy when you're young or like to find success in a standup when you're young. Right. What do you think? Like the threshold ages is like 27 or something when people are like start dying from heroin and stuff like that.

When people around you are really falling apart. Yeah. Some stuff like that people around you are really falling apart yeah some shit like that like you can't be like who who's been really famous really young other than like dave chappelle or like eddie murphy there's a lot of those guys that i think those guys eddie murphy dave chappelle no there's a lot of those guys young guys what are you making this racial for no that black guys are black guys are funny young, I'm trying to big them up. Black guys are funny. Yeah, oh my God. At all ages, they're the funniest.

Yeah, they are. There's no denying it. Yeah, it's tough. Dude, we're fighting an uphill battle. They're funny. Yeah, man. It's fucking tough. Yeah, and they can say it.

It's so funny. Nothing fucking better. It's so funny every fucking better it's so funny every time it's incredible like some dudes early on they're just saying it and that's what's funny like they're just saying it they're just out here fucking throwing it around willy-nilly yeah dude shout outs to them i'm trying to learn i uh i did i did stand up twice in philly. Really? It didn't go. It's so bad, dude. When you start, it sucks so fucking bad.

But you were done. Did you do rapping before that? Yeah, I was doing all. You were doing the rapping? Yeah, I was doing a little other rapping. Did you say that you didn't want to keep doing it because you didn't like memorizing it? Or I did a whole different five minutes the two times that I did it. i just did a whole like every single joke was different like i just didn't yeah i didn't want to be saying the same stuff i felt corny being like i'm repeating myself like

i felt like i was lying to everybody i think when you start you've got to do a lot of new yeah just keep doing new i still try and do new shit all the time but then i stopped like well i didn't stop all the time all the times i did all the way i tried doing new stuff every time i would i would go up and then like one of the times i bombed hard and it was like i i wrote like what i thought was like five minutes of this one joke and end up being like 15 seconds yeah i fucked myself constantly yeah who was the first like famous person that like followed you or like that like was like you're funny and it made you feel good um was it other comics when i was like hosting in philly there'd be comics that i would open for and be like they'd

be like that was really good do you remember anybody specifically who was like who gave you kind of nod because i feel like that's got to be big like just having like oh you know it was burt crusher really i did a pretty big one i opened for him and it was a thursday noon show he did he used to do a show like call into work sick come in at noon and we'll get fucked up and do stand-up it was a great show but uh yeah he brought me back up after my set and it was, this was great. It was fun. That's awesome. Yeah. That was one of the first ones.

A little cosign. Yeah, that was nice. Cosign from the bowl. That's fucking sick. Whoa. One more break in this and then we'll get back. I promise I will not take too long. You'll be back giggling your little balls off before you know it. But while you're mining your balls, maybe you should mind your shaft. And I'm not talking about a mind shaft,

and I'm not talking about my shaft. I'm talking about your shaft, and I'm talking about the good folks at Roman, and specifically the Roman Swipes. If you want to make sure your shaft is glistening and working and in perfect tip-top shape, you need to go to these folks at Roman, get some Roman swipes. You need to stop thinking about trying to last longer in bed and just concentrate. Be in the moment. Don't have these festering thoughts going on in the back of your head. That's why you need these Roman swipes, a clinically proven way to last longer in bed.

They're effective, easy to use, fast acting, but they don't even require a prescription. Roman can ship the swipes to you in a discreet, unmarked packaging. Your neighbors aren't going to know what's going on with your dick, but they'll know after the fact, after you're taking care of business so loud that the freaking neighbors know your name. And the Roman swipes each comes in a packet small enough to hide in your wallet. It's not going to be given a big mark in your back pocket. You can just discreetly carry around your Roman swipe

for when the time is right. They're super easy to use. They just take the swipes out of the pocket, swipe it on, let it dry, and you are good to go. That's it. Go to GetRoman.com slash sun so you can get your first month of swipes for just five bucks when you choose a monthly plan.'s get roman.com slash son back to the show

how about like anybody as you've grown anybody outside of the world of comedy who's like uh kind of uh trying to think yeah there's a bunch of them. It's funny every time where someone's like, I'm a fan. I'm like, how? Don't tell anyone. Have you gotten like a bunch of growth since the special? Yeah. Yeah. Even like with selling tickets and stuff like that. For sure. Yeah.

And that and Rogan. Yeah, I forgot about that. St. Rogi's blessed. Yeah, bro. Even though we went over our Spotify raps in the last episode, bro, I had you and Matt number two on Spotify raps and Rogi three, bro. Who was number one? Portnoy. Bro, come on.

Really? Yeah, you got to check in. The boss, man. I got to fucking see what the boss man is doing. Portnoy is funny. You think so? I think he's actually funny. I went through a phase where I was like, fuck this guy.

And then I kept watching him. He would go on the news or something and be funny. He's got some all-time moments that are hilarious. He's funny. What was the fuck this guy stage about? What was he doing? I think I was just in a phase where I was like, fuck everybody. When the Patriots won a bunch,

it was a big fuck this guy. Oh, you know what? I was a big fuck this guy. I hated when Michigan won. I hate Michigan. Yeah, exactly. Michigan wins one game. The Patriots won last night and I was back to hating everybody in this office that's from Boston. You fucking entitled, fucking frail pussies.

You don't fucking play football. Cock suckers winning again? I know. I thought when Brady left we were done with them. I can't believe that they're winning again. Damn it, they're winning again. It's infuriating. But I get so pissed when they internalize they're winning and they believe that they're winning again. Damn it, they're winning again. It's infuriating. It is. But I get so pissed when they internalize they're winning and they feel like they're winners. But if I do that with the Eagles, I'm like, we're the fucking shit.

I'm the fucking man. I fucking love the birds. Sass is a birds fan. We're turning him out. He's not a sports fan. I'm actually a Patriots fan, bro. A Boston guy. You said you were a fucking birds fan.

He's a Patriots fan. He's just asked for a raise, dude. He loves the Patriots. What advice would you give him going in to talk to him? I'm a fan of anything that you're a fucking birds fan. He's a pageants fan. He's just asked for a raise, dude. He loves the pageants. Yeah, what advice would you give him going in to talk to- No, I'm a fan of anything that you're a fan of. Thank you, bro. That's what I'm trying to say. Of course.

To talk to the boss man? Yeah, what should he say talking to the boss man? Should he be like bold? Should he kiss the ring? Should he genuflect? Or should he be like, I'm the shit? Find a medium? I don't know Dave Dave, at all.

Personally, I would imagine you've got to kiss the ring a little. Here's another thing you could do. You could black out. That's a good idea. And then let it ride. I was thinking about doing that. You won't even know how the meeting went. Just kind of find out

based on his response later on. Get an email that night and be like, based on his response later on. Yeah, get an email that night. And be like, well, I'm fired. Ah, shit. The charred remains of Lil' Sash. And then you got to hit the punch card, dude. Yeah, get fired. Go back to comedians on the loose.

Because, like, what's the other outlet for you? Like, if you get fired from Barstool, like, where are you going? School. No, no. Don't go to school. Seriously where are you going? School. No. Don't go to school. Seriously, don't go to school. Patreon. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a viable outlet. We'll do Patreon, and I'll do my half of the podcast. You'll record your first half, and then I'll listen to it and post my half on Patreon. And then people will have to sync up the audio. Some blanks. Patreon is viable. Like I see comedians I feel like comedians

are like riding around in Rolls Royces based off of Patreon. It's like rap labels in like the late 90s. Finally. Like fucking Mace making like fucking

20 million dollars a year. It's like Tim Dillon on Patreon. That's how it's gonna go. We're all gonna be Mace. Yeah, everyone's gonna burn out. We're gonna blow this shit

to be bastards. Just like MC Hammer just have massive engines. Everyone, every Patreon I click on no matter how small gonna go we're all gonna be mace yeah everyone's gonna burn out be bastards just like mc hammer just have massive everyone every patreon i click on no matter how small or big the podcast is they're all making like a shit ton of money yeah it's crazy i feel like the class of dudes that you kind of i don't know if you could call it a class but who you came up with in philly are all doing pretty well now like i'm i'm looking at philly as a pretty funny city i don't really know any other cities like comedians other than it was boston yeah that's still is boston's like they got uh every great comedian was from boston which is crazy yeah it's bullshit philly

we had a couple got a little kev a little kev a little kev cosby goats yeah both funny young Lil Kev. Yeah, Lil Kev. Yeah, Lil Kev, Cosby. Goats. Yeah. Both funny at young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, but yeah, then there's all those other guys now. But yeah, like the Are You Garbage dudes. Are You Garbage. Like those dudes are in a bunch of your, the Gillian Key stuff. Just funny ass dudes.

And that all started with Tommy and John with Delco Proper. Yeah. That like kind of brought a lot of us together. Delco Proper, i feel like was supposed to be bigger than it was yeah it like it felt like it was it was right there it was gonna happen that was just when comedy central was kind of making the turn to stop making funny stuff they were like all right we're done you know they really don't anymore no they don't at all i saw like a meme they posted yesterday on Twitter and I was like blown away at how bad it was.

It was like Yas Queen, bitch. It was like a Starbucks meme. They're like, this week we're honoring Patrice O'Neal, who would definitely love our network. Yeah. Dude, so that was the first time you and I met was at a Patrice benefit. Yeah, bro. you and i met was at a patrice benefit yeah bro uh this dude steven who uh who i who works at the comedy cellar who i knew uh he was he bill burr had just done rough and rowdy and he was like dude i want you to come talk to bill burr about rough and rowdy and so i hopped in a cab and fucking

went over there to try and link up with him and he had gone by that time but i was just sitting with this dude uh i guess that the special was over we were just sitting there and you came up just like so like uh like kindly and humbly and you're just like you mind if i like sit down like you like it was like i didn't realize how like political like sitting down even was but it was like michelle wolf was over there like holding court with like 15 other uh comedians she was probably fresh off the correspondence dinner or something. Everybody was sitting around her like the Last Supper. And you're like, I know your boy, Letty. Yeah, Letty.

Shout out, Letty. Yeah, shout out to Letty. No, I came over and I was like, I'm a fan. Yeah, it was so fucking cool and nice. And it was just like, I just, and we just kind of busted it up for a little bit. Like, just chopped it up. And then a couple months later, the dude, Steven, was like, dude, this guy, Shane, who we just talked to that night,

he's going through hell right now. He's on CNN. His life falling apart. Oh, that was funny. It was a nice ass dude. How many, uh, how many podcasts had you say you've been on in the last like year? All of them. I've been trying to slow down. I don't, i don't like doing every single time every single time i go on youtube doing podcasts and i know that you don't and i've still just been like dude will you come on like please no this is fun but uh like i the thing that sucked is when my special came out i did a run of la podcast to promote it yeah and that was i just did too many. I did a podcast every fucking day.

Yeah. And every time it was like, what was SNL like? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, it was not good, but it was funny.

I was going to ask you, I was going to ask you about SNL as a joke, but then I was like, it's not even a, it's also just three days of time that like, you must have gone over every detail. You know what I mean? It was just like a short period of time where you must have gone over everything.

That was a long battle. Oh, that battle afterwards? It was just like a short period of time where you must have gone over everything. That was a long battle. Oh, that battle afterwards? It was like five straight months of like, how is this still in the fucking news? Yeah, that's crazy. We're still fucking talking about it. Yeah, that's fucked.

But eventually Rogi came around. St. Rogi's. Yeah. St. Rogi's. Bless this. What did your Spotify rap look like? Who are you listening to? Oh, it's embarrassing

oh actually I don't it's always Drake Drake's been number one same dude it's so bad so you listen to Drake's new album

and everything yeah Drake's been on my top five like every single year it's hilarious it was like Drake Mac Miller

I was proud of that Mac Miller's my number two he's a big Mac Miller guy it was Drake Kanye Mac Miller A$AP Rocky and I forget the other one. That's fucking sick.

Yeah, I was proud. I was proud of it. Yeah, it's rap. A$AP and Mac Miller getting on there. Yeah, Mac Miller's great. Damn, bro. People didn't know you were fucking listening to A$AP. Do people know that?

I don't know. Now they know. What I like to do is do stand up, get hammered, and then listen to motivating rap. Oh, fuck yeah. On the Uber home, looking over the skyline. Just like, dude, I did it. do stand up get hammered and then listen to motivating rap oh fuck yeah on the uber home looking over the skyline just like dude i did it i'm the best then i wake up like what the fuck was i doing last night oh no i'm a fucking loser it's all gonna be really bad again dude that happens every once in a while i'll just get a wave of like oh no it's happening again

everyone hates me again there has to be a hot feeling in oh no it's happening again everyone hates me again there has to be a hot feeling in the face it's a wild crazy that has to be some fucking heat for your head i know i've told this story a thousand times but getting canceled i was on a train yeah yeah going to the yeah i've heard that and just getting canceled in between stops like because i do i lose service and then the next stop, holy shit. 1,000 new tweets. And then the next stop, I was like, I don't remember saying that. I didn't say that.

Didn't you say that people were like, people were like looking down at their phone and then like looking up at you? Several times. That's insane. When I got canceled, I had $0. So I was, you know, taking the train, taking the mega bus. People would be like, is this you? That's fucked.

It's me. It's not going well. The mega bus from New York to Philly. Oh, man. The Chinatown bus. That's fucking bad. Dude, you must have been like, you got to be like top five worst cancels. Yeah. I mean, aside from like fucking. like top five worst cancels. Yeah.

I mean, aside from like, fuck. Yeah, outside of like sexual predators. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm up there. Yeah. Fuck, but you're back now. Now you're back. We're coming back.

People, it's just crazy how many people, it would drive me, it would be uncomfortable for me how many people have opinions on you. Just like so many people are always just like being like, I have this opinion on this person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just. Which is nice right now because i'll get dms from people that are like they watched my special and they're like i thought you were a dickhead you know like now i'm a fan it's like nice right i appreciate that and i think some of your your special being like saying like some of the things that you've like gone through in your life like things have happened in my life that like it's it's actually been uh not i get it i

get it though like i can't it's hard to knock people for reading a headline and judging someone because i do that all day yeah yeah so it's whatever yeah look here we are snl cancel talk i brought us here you did i brought it fuck um we did it anyway though bro it was it was bound to happen um he wanted to talk about notre dame football a little bit yeah he wanted to bust it up about about tommy reese marcus freeman and tommy reese yeah and he wants to talk about kyle hamilton and shit like that and he's like those are my guys he thinks he's like the downhill safety that the eagles need to like get somebody in the box like i was just saying that before you walked in yeah i would love him at the Eagles. Or, dude, if we had gotten a Wusu Koromoa or whatever, bro, that would have been sick.

Yeah, he's a beast. We got to get out to a birds game. Yeah, let's go to the Cowboys. I think we should. I'm trying to get fucking these guys. In your meeting with the boss. I will work that in. Should we try to bring Sass or should we not?

Yeah, definitely bring Sass. What the hell was that? You're going to pinch me out? Yeah, definitely bring sass. Okay. The hell was that? You're going to pinch me out? Yeah. I mean, we're just going for pleasure. And it's like, I don't want to have to be like explaining the rules to you the entire time being like, this is a fucking completion. I went to a football game at Penn State with Roan and he was just buzzkill.

Not the kind of guy you want to watch a game with. No, I was like fired up and I cared. I was like, let's fucking go, bro. Everyone's having a good time and everyone's yelling at the refs. Because they called four downs and it was three downs. And I was like,

it's fucking supposed to be third down, not fourth down. I remember that. What game was that, Michigan? Ohio State. Auburn. That was a great game.

And I was fucking furious about it. And he's like, this guy's like a dad. He cares or whatever. I was like, shut the fuck up, bro. Come on. it's too cool to fucking care you're getting a wedgie at the end if you do that you're getting a wedgie

we shouldn't even we went to a i went to a red socks game with our red socks yankees right yeah oh that was brutal really because i talked to strangers a menace because i was like oh he came back to me up there everyone that would walk, like that would walk up the bleachers, he would just go, bye. Bye. No. Bye. I was fucking with the people. Cause we were they were losing or they were winning the game and I was saying bye like they were losing. We gotta try to get Letty up.

Dude, we should. We'll get Letty to the link. Us three and Letty. Let's get Letty around, dude. Letty. Letty, how did you first, like you just went to school with Letty and were on the same football team? Yeah, Elon. How many people were on the football team? At Elon?

Yeah. It's a college football team. So it's like 90 dudes, right? 100, yeah, yeah. So how did you wind up being friends with him? Was he just like a- He was in my class. So he was just like a unit and like he was just-

Tight ends. I played O-line, so we would, yeah. Same positional meetings and type of shit like that? You're literally with everybody on the team all day, every day. You went to Elon? Yeah. Did you graduate from there?

No. You drop out? Yes. See, just like you. No, I graduated from Westchester though. Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is legendary. I love Westchester. Westchester's the shit. It's,

that's where, that's where my wife is from and it's just like the picture perfect little college town. Bam Margera's from out there. That's where I started. Like,

I started in Harrisburg but some of the first shows I ever did was at bam margera's bar really yeah the note and was he ever there the note dude you gotta go out to the notes he fucking brandon d camillo yeah all the bros were there yeah yeah done yes did you ever meet done yeah you met done i did that's fucking briefly though i was just sitting there and they were all drinking. Now Bam is, or I don't know if he's still going through it, but he was posting handwritten notes on Instagram. Yeah, he was getting a little wacky, yeah. Yeah, he was going through it.

Yeah, he's having a tough time. He got famous young. Yeah, it's tough, dude. You got to watch out. I'm like a child star. You will get addicted to something. That's what everyone says. I don't think I will.

Hopefully it's pussy. Some guys get lucky, and they get addicted to pussy. Pussy. They just have the availability of it. I don't think I need anything else, though. You'll see. Get those Bud Lights going a little. And you'll also get to where you want to go and then you'll realize that you still don't have everything you want.

Oh, no. But I've already come to that conclusion that I'm never going to. Yeah, that's about it. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? I've had times where I'm laying in bed and I'm like, if I was making like a billion dollars a year, I would be doing the exact same thing that I am right now. No, bro, you have like a beef jerky package thrown all over your room. And I would still be doing that.

You think so? What would be the alternative if I was making a bunch of money? I heard a story about like Cisco's house. Like I know a dude that went to Cisco's house when Cisco was at like the peak of his fame. And like he had to like, they were like shooting something at the pool out back of Cisco's house. And he's like going to Cisco's house to like use the bathroom. And it was just a fucking disaster zone. And it was just fucking, he was so rich, so famous and so affluent.

And it was just like Sass's room, just a ton of fucking beef jerky all over the place. I love that. You respect it? Yeah. I feel like a ton of fucking beef jerky all over the place i love that you respect it yeah i feel like a lot of rappers are like that they'll like have a really nice house but then just like folding chairs party have you ever seen playboy cardi's like uh his like uh snack cabinet and it's just like gushers and fruit roll-ups and like in like uh fucking cereal i think wu-tang had the same shit they have just like a dollar box going on when they had uh mtv cribs yeah i think a red man yeah red man's house was like it was great it was like still in the hood box of They have just like a dollar box going on when they had MTV Cribs. Yeah, I think Redman.

Yeah, Redman. Redman's house was like- It was great. It was like still in the hood. It was like a cardboard box of money on top of the refrigerator. I got this. I got a fucking dollar box. And you just go in, just unfolded bills that you just shove into your top pocket.

Dude, well, fucking thank you for coming on, bro. Oh, nice. Yeah, we appreciate it. You want to plug? No. Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. Yeah, bro. Oh, nice. Yeah, we appreciate it. You're the fucking MC. You want a plug? No. Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. Yeah, definitely fucking download that Patreon or pay for that Patreon. It's cheap.

It's cheap as fuck. Dollar a month. It's insanely cheap. Yeah. It's actually too cheap. Yeah, we fucked up. Yeah. But how are you going to jack up the price, though?

No, we're not. That's probably best not to. Also, bro, tell St rogues that to have a little sass on bro you're doing you got enough of a bump the hype is a little too he's gotta get brought back down to earth let's uh i've been smoking cigars just to get prepared to impress him dude i had to smoke a stogie i know it was tough you're choking it down it's like you can't cough you were like i've been inhaling it's like you can't cough you were like i've been inhaling it the entire time you cannot cough in front of rogan dude yeah he'll he'll

know you're a chokehold he'll eye you up yeah he knows he's got too much tea he's got too high of tea to fucking let that shit fly he's oh man yeah what's the word is he on roids no i don't think that was on t steroids he said no he said he's on t he talks about himself yeah he's on T. Steroids. No, he said he's on T. He talks about it himself. Yeah, he's fucking jacked. He's fired up. Exactly, bro. Maybe you need to fucking get on his weightlifting. His laugh is so funny. Yeah.

I didn't notice that until I saw a clip. He's great. He's a bro, though. Yeah, he seems like it. He really is. Seems like it. I believe it. He's a dude who's famous as fuck, who's, I feel like, still trying to just do regular

bro stuff. Yeah. And that's what one can aspire to do. He's probably got just beef jerky all over his fucking room. He's probably got like homemade beef jerky. Still beef jerky though. Yeah, it is. Hell yes.

Appreciate you, bro. Yeah, thanks for having me. They're all going to want you out here. Barstool loves you. It's so funny. People are obsessed with you right now. You got the fucking hot rock right now. Thanks, man.

Hell yes, bro. We're going to be coming out while this fucking hot and we're just with the bull. You're a fucking dickhead. Harry. Harry Kittle. Whoa, bro. Yeah. Kytel.

We're bleeping this shit out. Harvey Kytel. Oh, wait. We're not allowed to say your real name? Well, you didn't. You can say Harry. I don't like people. I, wait. We're not allowed to say your real name? Well, you did it. You can say Harry. I don't like people. I don't want people to know my last name. You also didn't. Just because I don't.

It's just been secret for so long. Your last name? Yeah. And you're also trying to sell tickets under your name. Bro. Eventually, you're going to want to. What is it that you're worried about your last name getting out? I'm not.

It's just like, then people are going to start DMing my parents and shit. That's going to happen. Does that happen to you? Yeah. They're going to find his lib dad on Twitter. My parents were getting mail. Hard mail? People were mailing letters.

Snail mail? I'm going to fucking kill you. That's fucking insane. That happened? What was your dad saying? Holy shit. My dad was like, fuck. It was really funny.

My dad, he did an interview. I called him and I was like, it was really funny my dad one day he did an interview i was like i called him and i was like don't do any interviews because all of a sudden everybody gets your number out he did an interview and then he was like okay and i was like you did a fucking interview didn't you and he was like yeah i did i read the interview and he was like we support our son i mean what else do you want fromops you know what I mean that's love from Pops that's hilarious that's incredible he's like I don't think it was that bad who was it for

what outlet was it something local it was local yeah Mechanicsburg Mechanicsburg Gazette got a hold of Phil that's crazy

that's awesome though wait your dad's name is Phil like Phil like Bam Bam's dad Phil that's fucking Like Phil Like Bam Bam's dad Phil

That's fucking sick Old Phil Gillis That's fucking legendary bro He's a legendary Legendary fella What's his build 6'2 Big dog

Hell yeah Played college football He's a big guy What position did you play He played tight end What did you play Oh I played offensive line Oh fuck yeah

Yeah yeah yeah You know that position Yeah I love O-line I was about I played that in high school Oh you must have sucked Wait did you play football no i was like 110 pounds yeah that's how you know a guy sucked if he's like i played o-line it was like how big were you and they're like they just threw you in the line it was bad you ever key in on o-line play when you're watching

yeah of course i was watching i watched the call you gotta watch quinn nelson bro he's the he's the goat he came through here he got Bro, he's the goat. He came through here. He got the boy award. The block of the year award. Oh, against Jacksonville when he pulled?

Yeah, bro. Yeah, exactly. He fucking ran out. Dude, Kelsey had Milata. Yeah, dude. That dude's a fucking beast.

I don't mind the O-line right now. Eagles O-line's all right. Mind them. They're fucking incredible. Finally. Strength of the team.

Other than fucking Lane Johnson getting hurt every 10 fucking minutes. But even so, like Brandon Brooks is out for the year and they're still fucking cooking. Herbig's rough. Yeah. He's fun to watch though. He's learned. It's good to see a fat O-lineman.

He's fat. I like that. He's fat in like the worst way. He's like fat in a bad way. The days of fat O-linemen are kind of disappearing. Because they used to all be fat. Now it's like Jason Kelsey. These dudes who are like 290 but they have a bad way. The days of Fat O'Lyman are kind of disappearing. Because they used to all be fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's like Jason Kelsey,

dudes who are like 290, but they have a six pack. See McGlinchey? Yes, dude. He's like 6'7", like kind of thin. Are you boys with McGlinchey? No.

Dude, McGlinchey would love you. I gotta get McGlinchey and Quentin Nelson's the one, dude. Dude, let's send a pic to McGlinche, dude. Definitely don't send a picture of me right now, dude. I gotta look good for McGlinchey. No, now dude i gotta look good for mcglinch well no no we'll have you photoshop a six-pack onto

he's super nice yeah he got big he fucking photoshopped he photoshopped six he'll get you looking real fucking tight so big Cat posted this and I photoshopped it into that. He gave him massive milk. He didn't give it to him. He's got double D's. He didn't give it to him, bro. He made him look as good as possible. Now McGlinch

is a good Philly. He's like a Della Sandro's. Yeah, true. He's a Philly dude for sure. Did he go to the prep? He went to Penn Charter. Okay. Same as Matt Ryan. Yeah, they had a couple of Philly guys. Yeah. What's his name?

Josh Adams. Oh, he might have been Bucks County. He might be. Same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It all falls under the same umbrella. Yes. Fuck yes.

Bro, appreciate you. Yeah, of course. Have a good day. You guys have a good day. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, fuck yeah.