Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 34 - Grown Man Shit

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 34 - Grown Man Shit -- The guys sit back and relax over some cigars. Finally free after slaying the Omicron variant, Sas catches Rone up on the DP show backlash, shaving his head, and auditioning for a TV show, all while in solitary confinement. They smoked cigars the whole episode it was sick. -- Full episodes also available on YouTube -- Thanks for listeningYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Monday, December 20th, five days before Christmas Day. One day before the winter solstice, and days will start getting longer in two days. Oh, wow. That's nice.

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Should we let out these stogies? What do you want to do first? Spark up your stogue or do a reveal of the fucking the fresh buzz the buzz light year the buzz aldrin the buzz from home alone let me light up my stogue here all right light up your stogue first stoking time ron and i are quite far away from each other today why as covet has made a vicious return. Dude, I was just talking to Pete in the kitchen about COVID and he was just like, oh, Omicron is going to get everyone. It's going to destroy everyone.

It's awesome. He was. I've never seen someone root for Omicron. Coming from an Omicron survivor. It's actually not that bad. It's just apparently. So apparently the symptoms are way less severe. Did you fuck up your cigar?

No. Brother, you cut off half the cigar. If you don't want to smoke one, just let me know. I only wanted to smoke half. You could never go on Joe Rogan. Yes, I could, bro. Dude, has anyone said Rogi Stogies? I feel like that should be the segment name.

Presented by Dat Chat. Welcome to Rogi Stogies. Presented by Dat Chat. Welcome to Rogi Stogies. Presented by Dat Chat. Look at Sass fucking chief that thing, bro. Why did it sound so loud when you blew it away? It's going to be a long episode. We're actually doing a race, believe it or not. Hero, you can have this later.

Damn. Bro, these are not the Cubans that you told me we were gonna get bromance macanudo of course the inspirado blend medium body blend i gave you the heavy body blend because i knew you could handle it there's smoke alarms in here shit is your own um all right yeah so should i do the hair reveal i have an explanation before because it is short yeah let's talk about it what made you the top yo you look sick bro get my shit right though you look like american history x it's fire um you look like you went to prison and converted to arianism yeah so so basically i shaved it it was a heat of the moment thing my hair was disgustingly long

and i was so sick of wearing the hat constantly even though i'm wearing the hat still but now i'm wearing the hat for its purpose like i'm wearing the hat just because i'm cold and now you can be inside yeah just fucking shaved up dude just with a fucking friend fucking good just sucking a cigar and having a fresh shaved head how does it feel it looks sweet it looks good you like how it looks no um so but i don't hate it either like i'm not like last night i would say was the closest to like a little bit of a breakdown about it but like beside from that like i was expecting to from that like i was expecting to be like like i was expecting to be like shaving it and then like just like start crying and be

like oh my god i can't go back now but uh but then you put up a tweet that did numbies and yeah any bad feeling about that tweet too any dude i love it you got shit to fucking talk about bro i had so many people who thought i cut my hair Like did that haircut Like just for the tweet People were like bro this is such a low moment Doing this for the fucking tweet It's like obviously I took the picture Halfway through the haircut

Nah bro you did it just for the tweet bro I know what the fuck happened And then uh So I used the clippers that we had At our apartment And we only had a one I used the razor, the clippers that we had at our apartment and we only had a one. Well, one was the lowest, like it was the highest you could go. I wish I went with like a two or a three and it looked fine.

I liked how it looked. Like I didn't look bald. Yeah, you look dope. And then no, no, no. It looks intentional. Now it looks, now it's a zero. So then I'm going to shower because I'm covered in hair and i'm like kind of like i'm like oh there's some stray long hairs on the top of my head so i was like i'm gonna clean it up

you over buzzed it i go over it again turns out i was on a zero no so like it's honestly probably longer like yeah you can like feel hair here now before this was just skin there was nothing here and i was like like i have a I have pictures I can show you. I was straight up bald. Like no hair. Why did you put up pictures of that? Because that wasn't funny. That was like I was just like mortified and like

holy shit I'm literally bald. It had a little chemotherapy look to it. Now you look like the dude from Prison Break kind of. Yeah. That's how low I feel. That's how short it feels. Like look like the dude from prison break kind of yeah that's what that that's how low i like that's how short it feels like look at this dude no hair on that head oh fuck bro you look oh that's bald you look like the dude from cash cabin that one yeah so ben bailey that that sucked but uh i mean i'm glad that no one's here in the office today because.

Because what? Because what would they even fucking say? Dude, you beat the fuck out of them. Look at you right now. It would be a whole thing. It would be all over me. You look like Mike Villalli. You beat the fuck out of them.

My dad loves it. My dad said it's the most badass thing he's ever seen. Really? Mm-hmm. Did you just send him pictures of it? No, I FaceTimed him. It goes so much better with the cigar dude when i was younger i used to smoke cigars i fucking bet and i would just inhale the entire thing was it uh did it give a little little tickle to the throat did it make you feel a little queasy when when i was in like ninth grade

i went through we met me and my friends went through a big like tobacco phase and we would just buy we would have the older kids in high school buy us like a hundred packs of swisher sweets and like black and milds and we would just smoke them all day just to the face that was a badass thing it was a badass thing to do the little wooden tip on a black and mild or something like that it feels it kind of feel or passing around a black and mild passing around a two dollar cigar amongst the boys not even really getting high probably like the second time i've ever like really oh don't ash it bro you don't ask the cigar you don't ask the stogie that's my bad yeah you never asked your stogie i'm glad i know that now yeah because that's an embarrassing mistake that i could make oh i want to toss me that lighter too yeah let's keep these fucking stogies popping. Let's keep these things rolling.

So what inspired you to shave your head? What made you say, you know what, I'm just going to shave it as opposed to a traditional haircut? I had COVID. So I couldn't get a traditional haircut, but it was time for a haircut. You could have waited a couple days and just got a traditional haircut today, your first

day out of the clink. Well, I always wanted to see what it would look like with a buzz cut. Why? I don't know, because I've never had one. It looks sweet. I don't hate it. It looks dangerous. I feel good. Dude, I'll lay at night in bed, and I'm just rubbing my head for hours.

That's what I told you. It feels so good. Rubbing your head? And I haven't showered in a while. Does it feel good on your hand? Since I told you. It feels so good. Rubbing your head? And I haven't showered. Does it feel good on your hand? Since I cut it. Does it feel good on your hand? Yeah, your hair never gets dirty.

There's literally no reason to shower anymore. I can smell your nuts from here, but your hair doesn't. You don't need the shampoo. Yeah. Does it feel good on your hand when you rub it? Oh, yeah. Or does it feel good on your head?

I like, what I really like to do is I like to press down on my head so like it gets nice and warm and then i remove my hat my hand and then you can feel the cold air on my scalp and it feels great that does feel seem fucking sweet or like you pop off the head you're like go for a little bike ride with the hat on take the hat off and then the steam's coming off your fucking your top knot today was actually like right before we came here was the first time i'd been outside since the cut and it was cold yeah dude it is fucking cold out you're going through it you were for a while how crazy did you go because if i were you i would have gone pretty fucking crazy because you weren't even leaving your room right uh like the fact that owen lives with you and didn't get covid has tested negative for seven straight days so i'm more than that the rules for the most part i went on a walk one morning

pretty early when like no one was out i think that was on friday like this friday and uh super spreader it felt bad didn't feel good but i went down by the water i was the only one there anytime anyone would come over i'd throw the mask back on. That's smart. And plus you were outside. Yeah, I played by the rules. But I really do think like it's crazy. Like we're going to like with COVID coming back and Omicron, Omicron, Omicron. Yeah. It's like Omicron being the relentless bitch that she is. Yeah.

It's like supposed to be. So it's like apparently it's like 500 times more contagious than regular than other strains or other variants and um it's like i was sick for so i it was friday night i like was hanging out with owen and other people and i was like i feel terrible and then i found out that two other people at the office had covid who sit next to me. So then I was like, oh shit, I definitely have COVID. So then I went to Dwayne Reed. I bought a, I bought like a test, like a at home test, tested negative. And then I was like, this can't be right.

Like I'm, I feel like ass Nick was sick. So then I, and Nick didn't even end up having COVID. But he had the flu. So you might've, maybe you had both though. You know what I mean? You might've have flu brawling inside of you with the Omicron and then the omicron was just whatever oh yeah i don't know but so i so then i woke up on saturday like paralyzed i was so sick like high ass fever couldn't move so sick and then uh sunday morning i was fine and then i haven't been sick since then so i was sick for

like under a day and but then i had to lay in bed for 10 days. And I was like, at what point is that worse for you than actual COVID? Your dick must be blasted. Oh, yeah. I was jerking off like eight times a day. No, I really wasn't. I like ran out of testosterone quick. What do you mean?

Just by sitting around? What were you eating? Just takeout for every single meal. Every meal? It was disgusting. And they would just bring it to the door and you would just kind of waddle downstairs with your sick ass? No, they would bring it. I do.

I bring that. I have them bring it upstairs to my apartment. To your actual. I let them in and then they come tuck me into bed. Feed me. Just feed you a little cheeseburger bite. Of course, they get infected. Bro, stop asking that

dude you're we're gonna get kicked out of the now you're not gonna get now we're both not going on rogan oh we're going on rogan bro we're not time we're not gonna fucking go on rogan after that bullshit after that gillis interview bro we're going on rogan yeah dude what a fucking what a goat that dude was yeah that was great oh there's evan why are you why are you noticing people like that we are back in the in the radio room the glass tank room well that's our roommate bro i was just with him and did he get sick nope no one got sick except me that's fucking weird i know that's super weird i don't like it one bit but uh neither you fucking made it through dude you fucking made it through to the other side you're were playing a bunch of, what were you playing? Apex? Apex Legends.

It was actually concerning how little, so it started, there would be brief points in the day where I would be like, fuck, this is awful. I need to get out of my apartment. But for the most part, dude, I got used to it. After day four, I was used to it. I honestly- What do you mean used to it? You could have just stayed inside forever? I was used to just chilling in my room and playing like... What do you mean used to it? Like you could have just stayed inside forever?

I was used to just like chilling in my room and playing video games all day. So you could be institutionalized pretty easily. Yeah, very easily. You could do... Because in a lot of... You see prison like TikToks where dudes are just fucking filming themselves in jail or whatever. Dudes have TV setups. They're playing video games.

They're gambling. They're cooking with each other. You think you could do some time in the bank? No. No, definitely not. They're cooking with each other. You think you could do some time in the bank? No. No, definitely not. Because I was on the phone. I would just call one person. Bro, they have cell phones.

They hang up and then I would call another person. Like I was keeping busy. I think they have cell phones in prison. Very, yeah. No, they're not allowed to though. I think they do. Like cell phones, like the people that are on TikTok definitely aren't allowed to be making those TikToks.

But they're doing it anyway. You weren't allowed to go for a walk by the water. It didn't stop you. Because you're a fucking shaved head renegade, dude. You're like Sinead O'Connor. It felt bad. You know who Sinead O'Connor was? No. He was this Irish freedom fighter. Fucking legend, bro. You low-key look like him.

He said, fuck the Pope. He fucking, he damn near brawled out with the Pope. That's a good idea. You wouldn't fight the Pope. No. The pipe swings on people. I remember that video of the Pope. He said the pipe swings on people?

The Pope swings on people. Remember the video of him swinging on that lady? Yeah. And he hit a woman. The Pope should get one superpower for being the Pope. Like, he should have super strength. He's allowed to molest children with no consequences. That's a woman. The Pope should get one superpower for being the Pope. He should have super strength. He's allowed to molest children with no consequences. That's a superpower. They should pivot

off that one. They kind of have beaten that plot line into the ground. They should choose flight or super strength or invisibility. Just be able to clobber some lady. You can't be getting grabbed up if you're the Pope. You can't be getting out roughhoused if you're the Pope. Pope's got to roughhouse a little bit harder you watched that uh louis ck

special no i didn't you didn't no is it good yeah it's pretty funny you fucking obviously watched it you've been i watched it actually on solitary confinement i watched it not last night but the night before and it was i watched it late at night i kind of want to re-watch it but there was some funny some funny jokes in it should we uh should we just pause the podcast and watch it all right now yeah yeah should we take a break and watch it all what was his best joke i'll let you give away one joke as a treat just as a uh he doesn't really like the thing is he doesn't do like quick. His jokes are all so long so it's hard to tell them. He's got a funny joke about...

I saw one on Twitter about 9-11. Yeah, which one was... Oh, the 9-11s in terms of death? Yeah. That one was funny. He just does a good job of making a joke out of something that a lot of people have kind of noticed, thought about, but they hadn't compartmentalized their thoughts in the way that he made it. he he had a joke about goodwill hunting that was

really funny just like about how like matt damon wrote the character and the character is like the greatest person ever and then plays him it was funny it was a good it was a good joke yeah that's like if superman was written by clark kent yeah exactly. I watched Funny People last night. Never saw that one either, bro. Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler. And Eminem, right? Eminem's in it. The goat's in it.

Yeah. Slim Shady's in it. That's a good movie. What is Slim Shady doing? Is he a stand-up or something? Adam Sandler? Yeah. In that movie?

Adam Sandler's a stand-up. Seth Rogen is and Jonah Hill is. But it's mostly Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler. Did it remind you of yourself? Did you see some of yourself in there? Yeah, for sure. Because he's sick in the movie and it felt like me. I feel like I got a second lease on life. Did you shave your head

when you were sick to see what cancer would feel like? No. When did I shave my head? It was only a couple days ago. Yeah. It's weird though, dude. I'm my head? It was only a couple days ago. Yeah. It's weird, though, dude. Like, I'm bald. It's fire. You should go fight someone.

It looks intentional in the way that your kind of shaggy hair didn't look intentional, which I think is hotter. Yeah. Have you been getting more pussy recently? Huh? No, I have COVID, bro. That shit's contagious. There should be a COVID, like a tinder for covid people so you

could just link up with somebody else on lockdown that's a good idea just while people are fucking under lock and key what are they gonna do fucking i think this omicron is going to uh you ever see when there's like a forest fire that's like leaking out and then the firefighters light like a smaller brush fire in like a circle around it yeah I think that it's going to burn through like that. I think that it is going to get everybody though. I think that this shit is fucking... They said that the other day it was like the most cases New York's ever had. Yeah. But people aren't dying

from it or what? I don't know. I don't fucking know either. I have no idea. I don't know what any of the stats are. You think we're going to go back into lockdown? I don't know. What if we do? I would not mind. Jake said no. You wouldn't mind because you just need more.

Jake voted for Trump like three times. Jake told me he would vote for Trump a third time if he could. But he's only won once. He'll be back though. Yeah, but you could have

voted for him twice. Actually, technically, he's run three times, right? When was the first time? A couple years, like way before he became president, I think. Was he on the ballot ballot?

No. Dude, these things burn slow, dude think. Was he on the ballot ballot? No. Dude, these things burn slow, dude. No wonder Rogi's going fucking four hours. I know. He just asked you to talk so he doesn't look like a bitch. I gave him a little Sharpie mark every time we should do an ad. Did you really? It was like the rings

on a tree. Fuck. Okay. Two hours till our first ad. It's so fucking far off. It's so far in the distance. Damn, Owen left, but he got the haircut too.

Was he trying to copy off you? Two bald heads like a million dollars worth of game. No, he had a haircut before me. Oh, and you wanted to get in

in his lane. Yeah, pretty much. In his lane, Maxwell. I used his you wanted to get in his lane. Yeah, pretty much. In his lane, Maxwell. I used his blade. Did you really? Wait, did he give himself that fade?

He did. He started it out himself and then he went to the local Dominican to finish it off for him. Why are the Dominicans so nice in a fade, bro? What is it in their culture that fucking prepares them for that? I think I would look better with the buzz than the fade, though. I think I would look weird with the fade.

Yeah, it's all about head shape. Yeah, I got a good ass head shape, bro. I don't have the greatest hairline, though. Head shape is fire, though. I got like just a little hair right here and that's it. People concentrate on the hairline, but they never talk about fucking head shape, bro. People need to give you your flowers for your head shape. I'm telling you, it's like that dude Sinead O'Connor, bro.

Sometimes I just gotta get my shit right. Make sure I'm clean. Just smacking the sides of it sounds good. Even the sound of it bristling. Oh, yeah. It's ASMR. Bristle that shit into the camera, dude. You pick up any hobbies while you were teemed up?

Yeah. In your teams? I did nothing productive. Really? No. Not until today I did something productive. What was that? All cleaned up?

Can't tell you, bro. Got a little shit in the works. You cleaned up your department? No, we are doing that. We're moving. Oh, you got something else in the works? Please. He does?

Big? Big tings. Big? Big tings. What is it? That's an Apex. That's an Apex reference. The big tings.

Oh, fuck. I fucking love Apex. Bro, I can't tell you what it is. Why can't you tell me? Am I untrustworthy? Are you saying that you can't say it live on the pod? Or are you saying I'll never know? Because the big thing is most likely never happening.

Oh, so it's really big. You come to me on my daughter's wedding day. I can't do it. Was that a Puerto Rican godfather? Yeah. You come to me on my father's wedding day. Oh, fuck. Damn, bro.

Is it a film role? Bro, please. I've said too much already. It is a film role. Shut up. And do you have to audition? I did audition. You did already?

Yeah. You sent something in or you went somewhere? I sent something in. No way. With hair or without hair with that without hair it was actually kind of a bummer i forgot that i had to do it this weekend and then it's that was the first thing i thought of as soon as the hair was gone yeah they didn't they weren't hiring a badass no they weren't hiring prison prison sass i'm probably not gonna get the role

tell them that you can fucking throw a wig on i i was like i tried to make it known i was like my hair can grow. I think it grows quick. I wore a hat the first way through and then they were like, redo it without the hat. Was it live? I was like, I don't know if you want me to do that. Was it live?

No. So how did they interrupt you halfway through? Because I sent it to this dude who's like, got me the role. Really? Is it Adam McKay? I've said too much. I've said too much. Dude, dude did you i sniffed that out so fucking fast dude i'm a fucking truffle pig for your life opportunities i can smell that shit a

fucking mile away you're ready for this over screen my brother yeah even if i don't get it it was still fun to do it's nice i'm not gonna get it you are gonna it. I definitely am not. It's a pretty major role. Isn't it? Is it paramount? No. Oh, it's like the story of somebody. No, it's a show. Oh, it's Succession.

Succession. How'd you know? Fuck. Billions? Is it power? It's the Friends reboot. No way. Yeah. Who would you be playing? Phoebe? No, I'm playing Joey.

What were Joey's characteristics? He was the gay one, right? He was the closeted one? I don't think he was gay. I'm pretty sure he was closeted. I thought he was fucking the whole show. That was like his thing. And it was like, it was his cry for help. He was always pushing spaghetti. Couldn't get hard.

He was pushing that al dente stick. He couldn't get hard because he was secretly... That's good. I like that. Use that in your big movie. Why don't you put that in your movie? Why don't you put that

in your little show you're doing? I was thinking about how funny it would be if I just went totally off script. Like I wrote a whole new scene. What you guys had was good or whatever. This Sorkin guy or whatever is good. You don't know about me is I'm a writer. I write.

I write and act my stuff. Just my lines. The people I'm in scenes with. Who was your scene partner in your little audition? Was it just the casting director? Did they have somebody sitting in that was going to be playing the role opposite you? No, no. I had one of my friends read the lines.

Is it better that they're good of an actor or bad as an actor? Because I would want to stock the deck with a bad actor and make myself... They're supposed to be bad. They're supposed to be monotone. Oh, really? Yeah. But that would be a good time for Owen to fucking make his debut in the industry. For Owen to really take charge and

get his name out there if he was the side actor. I would have, but I didn't want them to come into my room because I was sick with COVID-19. Are you playing a teenager in it? 23-year-old. How are you going to even do that? You've never even been to a bar legally.

How could you possibly method act that? I don't have the experience. You have no idea what it's like to be a 23 year old. Nobody likes you when you're 23. You're in a beloved stage of your life. True. No one likes you when you're 23. Nobody likes you when you're 20.

Yeah. That was one of the songs that you guys do, right? For pop punk. No, I was trying to I wanted to do it for the

when we were doing karaoke in Minnesota for that kid's 23rd birthday who was trying to fight everybody speaking of which

lettuce club video came out today thought it came out well it came out well thought it was funny and yeah it was kind of hung around sass

honestly it was the narrative was you left me saying worder yeah cause you're a true Philly guy. Dude, how was Boyce?

Did you go skiing? No, the Boyce went skiing in Boyce. Yeah, that pissed me off. They went skiing? Yeah, I want to go skiing so bad. You know that I invited you to come to the Boyce trip? Yeah, but I had COVID. But I invited you before that and you had already said no.

You wouldn't have got COVID if you were going to Boyce. Bro, I didn't know what Boyce looks i know there's like mountains there it's it's honestly what denver wishes it was yeah i would have gone if i knew what it looked whenever i've been to denver i get there and i'm like where's the fucking mountains because you can't it's not like the mountains are like right there yeah you can see them but from a lot of vantage points in the city you can't see them and everywhere in boiseise, Boise. Like when you get out of the airport in Denver and you start driving to Denver you can see the mountains the whole time. But then once you

get into Denver you can't. Which I don't like. But that's like a given. Why is it given? It was given. I saw a Coors Light can one time that had the Rockies on it and I assume that's what Denver looked like. If you drive closer to like Boulder that is what it looks like. That's not Denver. But my point is that that's what Bo Denver looked like. If you drive closer to like Boulder, that is what it looks like. That's not Denver.

But my point is that that's what Boise is like. That's what Boise does look like. Yeah, yeah. The skiing looked nice. The skiing looked nice. The mics were out there fucking shredding, snowboarding. So different discipline. The mics were bombed.

I couldn't make it. Yeah. But they were bombing down that fucking triple black diamond, bro. Yeah. You saw the fucking pow out there? I did. The pow was fucking incredible. You saw the fucking pow out there? I did. The pow was fucking incredible. It was a decent pow.

Decent pow sesh. Strong pow situation. We went to this place called, they told us that there's a bar out there where this 70-year-old lady sings 90s music and throws dildos out into the crowd. Oh, wow. So we said we had to be there. We couldn't miss it for the world.

And sure enough, she's the owner of the bar. I don't know if she's 70. And she has two buckets of dildos on stage. Big, expensive ones that she just passes out. Did you keep them? Yeah. You kept one? No, I didn't keep one.

I feel like I'd be taking it away from somebody who could actually, you know. You should have kept one, bro. Brought it in. And just showed it to you? Yeah. I don't want to go through security with a fucking 24-inch double-sided dildo. Nothing illegal about that. I don't want to go through security with a fucking 24 inch double sided dildo. Nothing illegal about that. It wouldn't have fit in my bag. It'd be sticking out the top of my backpack like a weather vane.

It'd be flying up there like a periscope. There's only something wrong with that if you make it. If you make something wrong. We need to destigmatize 24 inch double ended neon dildos. Was it double sided? Oh yeah. Please. Why would it be 24 inches if it's not double-sided? It's lethal. It was like a nunchuck.

You see that dude from those fucking videos taking it away. That self-defense guy. You think that guy's self-aware yet? Yeah. I think he's kind of in on the joke now, which sucks. It's more funny when those people aren't

in on the joke. And it's even funnier when people are in on the joke now, which sucks. It's more funny when those people aren't in on the joke. And it's even funnier when people are in on the bird dogs. I just got to the notch of my cigar. That's bird dogs time. Are you not at yours yet? Bro, you're slowly making your way through. I'm almost done with it. I made my first

notch, bro. Then why didn't we do the ad at your first notch? I'm almost done. You're just a notch in my bird dogs, but you're just a line in a song. Go to birddogs.com and use promo code SUN for some of the sweetest shit you will ever put on your body, specifically your lower

half. I can't get enough of all the shit that they have for the lower half. Whether we're talking about the joggers, we're talking about the pants. Please. I know, love, and talk about bird dogs so much that I now get intentional ads, targeted ads on my Instagram for bird dogs. They know I want more bird dogs. Even though I have bird dogs, I'm trying to load up on more bird dogs. Do you fuck with bird dogs?

I love bird dogs. Shorts, pants, and joggers with built-in silky soft underwear. The most comfortable thing I've ever worn. And it's not even close. Damn, you're going to get that fucking role. Oh, yeah. Did you hear how you fucking just voice acted? I'm in acting mode right now, bro.

I can't be stopped. Is that, uh, was that fucking, are you doing a Pixar movie? If you're doing Finding Nemo 3, that's fire. If you're like a little runaway fish. Dude, I'm going to be pissed if I don't get the role because of my hair. There's got to be rules against that. That's called baldphobic.

Tell them you'll suck off the director if they can just overlook your hair. If they can just push back the production until your hair grows in. They might have to. When is the production? Is it like now? Also, what films in New York? It's not filmed in New York. Law and Order, SVU?

Are you a victim? We found his body 18 hours ago. I've already given off way too much information. It's not filmed in New York. And where's the film? I refuse to say where it's filmed. Oh, Miami? No.

You're not going to LA, bro. They haven't even got Omicron yet. Don't go there yet, bro. You'll be blown away if you knew where it was filmed. Shut up. Oh, yeah. England? You're gonna be fucking a Peaky Blinder? Oh, yeah. Fuck. Subtitle

sass. But they said, like, they were like, the dude was, like, best to just forget that you even did the audition. It was that bad? No, he was just like, usually, like, the dude was like best to just forget that you even did the audition. It was that bad? No, he was just like, usually like you don't hear back if you don't get it. But they probably, you probably won't know for at least like a couple of weeks. Really? Yeah.

One time I did the, I did an audition for this, this movie, this battle rap movie. And the director brought me in and he, he like sat me down and I like did my first audition. And I was like in battle rap mode and afterwards he was like there's a a shouting quality to your acting i was like damn and so he basically had me sit there while other people auditioned to be like this is what it's supposed to look like when people audition then he had me audition again and I still didn't get the part. Did they have someone play you? Basically, yeah. I mean, I was a role in the movie, but I wasn't the lead role that I was

auditioning for. It was a humbling process. Humbling to go through the process. Well, I love Bird. They stole Lululemon's designer and now they're doing it way better. The shorts are elite and the pants blow Lulu ABC

and commission pants out of the fucking water it's fucking bird dogs bird dogs is not afraid to say fuck these pants only these are the only pants you should own let's go to that let's go to birddogs.com

promo code sun. Line. And boom, a free pair of bird dogs football. Shit, dude. You got to finish this up. I'm struggling right now.

Is it the cigar? It's the COVID and the cigar. The cigar is kicking your ass right now. You know that the fucking cigar is good for your chest. It's good for your chest blood. That's what troops would always say. Really the fucking cigar is good for your chest... It's good for your chest blood. That's what troops would always say.

Really? The weed is good for your chest blood. I was going to say, troops definitely doesn't smoke... Troops not a stogie guy. What, bro? No. Yes, he's a stogie guy.

I know troops. He's not a stogie guy. All the men done from the UK are stogie guys. Make sure you rotate that thing, Owen. It's going to get a real nice light for you. You don't want to get a canoe. Trust me, the last thing you want is your

stogie canoeing. Seriously. The only canoeing I do is down the fucking Susquehanna River with my boys in a fucking six-pack. And this is one of the best podcast promos we've ever had, okay? This is where Sass left off. BirdDogs.com. You're going to want to get that football too, because that thing is

fun. Promo code, son. They'll throw in a free BirdDogs whistle football. You remember those to want to get that football too because that thing is fun. Promo code SON. They'll throw in a free Birddogs whistle football. You remember those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs? Well, this one is that, but way fucking sweeter. It's Birddogs.com. Promo code SON. And boom, free football with your pair of Birddogs. You will not take these things off.

I fucking promise you. I promise you that. You will wear them day after day after fucking day. I'm hoping that I'm going to get some Birddogs in my stock my stocking this year yeah a nice pair of pants in your stocking shoot oh never mind today's the 20th right you still have some time to do some christmas shopping and my mom's birthday is tomorrow shut up yeah it's the solstice tomorrow as well yeah you never knew your mom was born on the solstice? No, I did. I just didn't know my, I didn't know the solstice

was born on the same day as my mother. Dude, you're, the tough, the tough voice fucking plays so much. You're like, Channing Tatum's character

in 21 Jump Street, low key. Is my shit looking right? You should get a line in your eye, in my eyebrow. Dude, I was, let's get a line in your eye. In my eyebrow? Let's do a line in your eyebrow, bro. Again, eyebrows are going. No, just a line in it. No, they're both going.

Get a line in it. I got some thick-ass eyebrows. And two hoops. Imagine if I came in today with no eyebrows. Definitely not get the role if I did that. It wouldn't surprise me. I feel like that's the kind of crazy shit that goes on When you Bro you ever suck dick bro

Because that shit looks fucking sexual bro That shit has me horny bro Looks like Spears sucking a dick I'm flying through this thing You barely even made a fucking dent in yours bro You call yourself a man? You're no... Oh my God, you gotta relight it.

If you can't keep your stogie lit all the way through, you're not a stogie smoker. I just bite it for the look. I don't light it. Will Smith told me that, bro. We haven't recorded in a while. We haven't recorded since you... Since Shane Gillis. Talked to Dave.

Yeah, we haven't. The mood all changed. Shit. Shit. I didn't even think about that. Want to talk about it? Nah. Not really, to be honest.

There's not really much to talk about. I didn't get a raise, bro. Living fucking paycheck to paycheck. Just got a new expensive ass apartment. Can't even afford to be honest. There's not really much to talk about. I didn't get a raise, bro. Living fucking paycheck to paycheck. Just got a new expensive ass apartment. Can't even afford to pay it. I was thinking about picking up a second job. Damn, that was a good life. Waiting tables?

No, I was thinking like Chipotle or something. You should work on the docks. Be a dock boy. I heard those guys get benefits. Like, yeah, that would be nice. Get out on the water a dock boy. I heard those guys get benefits. Like, yeah, that would be nice. Get out on the water a little more. Well, it's just a dock, really. You're kind of inside like a big-ass warehouse just moving shipping containers around.

But shipping containers are part of the fucking economy, man. They are. I was in a truck while I was out in Boise, and the truck driver told me, check, get this, a woman truck driver told me that if the truck driver told me, check, get this, a woman truck driver told me that if the truckies stopped fucking driving around, within three days, there'd be no fresh food on the fucking shelves in all of America.

That's not surprising at all. Because we have such a demand for fresh food. We just want everything fresh so fucking badly. There's a truck strike in Colorado. Yeah, big time. They won't enter colorado right why why is that oh because some dude died some dude got sent to prison yeah his brakes like gave out and he hit four people and they died and he got sent to prison and the company wasn't held

responsible at all the company that like was like that he was driving the truck for and uh he got to he he went to jail he got in trouble So the truck drivers are standing in favor of the manslaughter of him because they think that the company should be held liable instead of him. Which I get. And I'm on their side. If I had a hat, I'd tip my cap. The company should be... I'd say the truck drivers need to kill more people. What about the people on the road, though?

What about those people that got unfairly like was he slamming the brakes? Yeah, the people that got murdered. His brakes were no one sticks up for the people

who got murdered anymore. They deserved it. Now his brakes should have been there. His brakes gave out I guess. I don't know. But I was thinking

we should go down there. Colorado? Stand with the truckies? We're not in Colorado. You would have known that if you were paying attention to the story. So why? They're boycotting Colorado?

They're not entering Colorado. So, I don't fucking understand. There's like a big ass line of trucks outside of the border of Colorado because they all are refusing to enter Colorado. Are they just driving around Colorado or are they just standing outside? What the fuck? That shit doesn't make any sense it's pretty sick i would

love to be a part of a strike well you need a strike you need another well now you're talking now you're talking brother yeah like uh whatever like a lockout or something like yeah a walkout a walkout yeah fucking walkout we get all the fucking we get tommy smokes you get all the team portnoy and just uh just a union we fucking unionize have you ever been a part of a walkout no I think that I think we tried in high school or something like that and they basically Red Rover'd us

back really we did a walkout it was like when school shootings were like a really really big like they were happening every week which I'm sure they still are happening every week. But they were like the bad ones were happening every week. And you wanted the gun, the gun companies to be held responsible instead of the school shooters. So it sounds like what you're saying, brother.

So everyone's like they organized this big ass walkout. And like the cool thing about a walkout is you're kind of saying like, fuck you to the school. Like if you're in school, you're doing a walkout. walkout but then of course the school like got on board with it and they were like letting us all walk out and they like set up rules they were like leave your backpacks inside like this isn't how a walkout works it's like the protests in like 2020 where they're like kovats happening but yeah you guys can have this one like a walkout is supposed to be like we're supposed to be walking out. The teachers are supposed to be like trying to pull us back, but we're so determined that we don't let them. And the teachers were like joining up with you.

Yeah, like the teachers like walked out with us and we're like doing like head counts outside to make sure we all got out safe. Should we crack a door in here? Yeah, it's getting fucking smoky in here. I was getting like a head rush. Success is going in and out. Pump that door a couple times, Owen. Just give it a little pump. Yeah, a little bit of a pump.

Sorry about that, Kyle. Oh, shit. Now I'm getting like a little lightheaded how the fuck does Rogi do it bro that's probably why he trains so fucking hard

he's probably got fucking ventilators in his uh turn on the fucking vents bro that's probably why he's always doing fucking holy shit dude

jujitsu bro that's why I let mine go out man but you peer pressured me in man I tried to walk away from the game you fucking dragged me back in. Bro, I'm not going to let a little bit of smoke stop me from finishing off my stoke.

Hell yes. This will be my first time ever smoking a full cigar. If you finish it. That life experience or what? If you don't wind up flat down on the floor like Tyron Woodley. Dude, that was crazy. That knockout? That was crazy.

Now that you're head shaved, though, I do think that you could fight him. Jake Paul? Yeah. Bryce Hall. Either one. Or Dave Portnoy. Why don't you leave it open, Owen? Yeah, let's leave that open.

Or Dave Portnoy. You said you want to fight Dave? Rough and rowdy? Wouldn't be much of a fight. It'd be two hits. You hitting your cigar and him fucking... He hit my cigar And hit him in the fucking floor

He just goes down choking In a fucking ball of smoke I'd give him one of these This is his face The one hitter quitter Oh shit And then I'd disappear Into a cloud of smoke

Houdini out of that bitch I might just become a cigar guy Just always got a cigar on me I think you could I used to be an apple guy I would always got a cigar on me. I think you could. I used to be an apple guy. I would always have an apple on me. That's basically the same thing. My mom's calling me.

Pick up, bro. Please. I'm smoking right now, ma. Shit might be important, ma. I'm smoking right now. What? It might be important that she's fucking calling you. It's not. How do you know? Because I know it isn't. When was the last time you talked. It's not. How do you know? Because I know it is. When was the last time you talked to her?

Yesterday. What'd she say? She said, you're not smoking cigars still, are you? And I said, look, Ma, it's either you or the cigars. And right now. Well, here I am. She's getting put on fucking hold. You're a stogie, man.

You fucking got the stogies in a goddamn chokehold. Goddamn, that shit is sweet. Say what you want about sass, but he can fucking smoke a cigar. That guy chiefs. That kid can handle his cigars. That guy's chief wahoo, bro.

He can suck one down. He can go fucking hard. Were those the slippers that you were in the entire time? No, I just threw these on today. I love them, though. L.L. Bean. Oh, fuck yeah.

Great brand, man. No free ads, though. There's nothing better than some L.L. Bean on Christmas, though. Can't lie. But I hate wearing that kind of slipper. Hold it up for the camera. Just hold it up. Yeah, loose hamstrings.

I hate wearing that kind of slipper with no socks, though. Oh, yeah, me too. Because it gets your shit so sweaty. It feels good when you put it in but like once your foot starts sweating it's a little bit too warm for the feet no i feel that they gotta get some ventilators on those bitches some fucking fans inside of them like a mascot you know mascots have like fans inside their suits bro you never wanted to be a mascot when you grew up i did i wanted to be a mascot in high school then you realize all they do is get like the shit beat out of them by little kids Bro, you never wanted to be a mascot when you grew up. I did. I wanted to be a mascot in high school. Then you realize all they do is get the shit beat out of them by little kids.

Little kids will just come and kick them in the stomach. I was like, bro, I have a gift to make people laugh. I was like, no one could be a better mascot than me. I'm a physical clown. I realized that we don't even have a mascot. Why is the tiger sulking around in the corner over there? You think you have the body language to be a mascot not at all yeah i don't have like the confidence to do that to just go up to someone you might inhabit the character though yeah is the character that you're supposed to be playing

on this uh sitcom or whatever curb your enthusiasm whatever you're doing is that uh is it a similar character to who you are or do you think that it's uh you don't really know much about like i don't really know much about the character dude you gotta get the fucking role i hope i do see if you can re-audition see if you could send in another where it was too and we're of course the boys are all going out there because we got to do the podcast oh for real it's game changer holy fuck bro new zealand lord of the rings fucking part seven let's just say it's not it's not quite the east coast time zone ah yes detroit oh no detroit detroit's on the same time zone as us yeah you're right

fuck bro but people think of it as the midwest you might have that covid brand no it's just this fucking macanudo, bro. He's kicking my ass, bro. I know. I'm not fucking... Honestly, I didn't see you... I didn't think you were a pussy-ass bitch until right now. Yeah.

I didn't think I was either. It's fucking eye-opening. You gotta go yak. I can go solo for a bit. No, I'll throw up right here. I'll throw up on my fucking stomach. Just throw up on the cords, bro. Yeah, just throw up on my fucking...

On my new boy dad sweatshirt, by the way. Those are fly. Are those out yet or no? I think they come out this week. Or next week. I just sent an email about this. Let's see if the fucking, if people are serious about helping Sash really get some more fucking money. Those are fly. I haven't

got a response yet. Wow. Almost an hour. I guess I'm a second class citizen here. I guess that'm a second class citizen here. I guess that kind of just shows the respect that people have for us around here. Seriously. They want us to get shit done, but then we try to get shit done. And then what happens? We get handcuffed.

Fucking. This isn't some BDSM shit, bro. Portnoy's always trying to handcuff someone. You going home for the holidays? Yeah. Yeah. Down to Pennsylvania. PA.

You know how that shit is, man. Fuck yeah. When are you going? Wednesday. Nice. Some shit like that. Probably going to go see the fam. A little last minute Christmas shopping, bro.

Oh, yeah. I've been there. You know how that shit is, man. What are you hoping for this year? I didn't ask for anything because I already have so much money. I asked for another gun. I want another gun.

Yeah. That's literally what I want ar-15 i want myself i want my own personal rittenhouse rittenhouse model what if he gets like a gun model like uh like jordan's dude those interviews with him are so weird i uh haven't they haven't been coming across my algo you haven't seen them i mean i haven't seen them in a couple of weeks, but when they first were coming out, they're like, oh, wasn't he like, I'm getting pussy now. And then he'd like shoot his gun into the air. Like Yosemite Sam. I'm fucking now. Yeah.

The worst one was and he's like, he's like, yeah, I saw a TikTok and they were like, oh, I can't wait for the 26-year-old conservatives to take Kyle's virginity. Too late. That's how he says it. Too late. Too late. Too late. I already lost my virginity. I've been fucking off my murder.

And they're like, Kyle, what do you look for in a woman? And he's like, I like thick. He's especially like a little bitch. I know I could beat his ass. I know I could fucking beat his ass. Especially right now, bro. Oh, yeah.

You could probably kick the fucking... Bro, despite the hairdo, Kyle, me and you are not on the same side. Okay, right? Despite my skinned head, i am not a skinhead okay don't fucking get it twisted kyle um yeah fucking sweet sweet ar with the fucking like with the fucking bump stock bro in the stocking and the military fucking like the white camo print on it or something like that oh that'd be sick or the pink john just to like

throw fucking gender fluidity out the fucking window yeah throw gender roles out the fucking window and fucking shoot someone with a pink gun louis ck was uh surprisingly like you wouldn't really expect it very pro uh like trans community and everything and it's special i didn't realize he's a pussy no that's that's dope i don't know why it was like surprised why would you be surprised by that i don't know because like i feel like most comedians like that aren't like what though that most comedians that uh like i don't think he's even like that edgy or i guess he kind of is he isn't though like i was expecting it to be, the comedians that we see, like, in New York are more edgy than he was. Yeah. He doesn't really say anything crazy at all.

But maybe it's also, like, a New York thing, and maybe what you're seeing is them, like, trying to be edgy to try and find a voice, like, or get outside the box a little bit. Yeah, maybe. Like, I don't even know if he needs to get outside the box. No, dude, he's so big. I don't even know if he needs to get outside the box. No, dude. He's so big. I wonder.

The fact that his special is $10 and thousands, hundreds of thousands of people buy it. He must make ridiculous amounts of money. Yeah. A Patreon or whatever. He comes out to Bob Dylan and he closes out to Bob Dylan, which I loved. He's basically your spirit animal. He is. Dude, what happens to everybody having a spirit animal? I feel like nobody's had a spirit animal in two or three years.

I'm getting a headache from the cigar. Headaches are my fucking spirit animal. I feel like nobody's had a spirit animal in like two or three years. I'm getting a headache from the cigar. Headaches are my fucking spirit animal, bro. That is your spirit animal. Take a couple breaks from it. Why don't you put it down in this ashtray over here that I have?

Nah. Why? I'm not going to put down the cigar. You're going to put down the cigar eventually. Or the cigar's going to put you down. No, I'm going to go down until it's right in my thumb.

That cigar's going to whip your ass and that's a fucking promise you no i'm promising you i'm promising you that that's what the fuck's gonna happen this is kind of our we have one more podcast this year this isn't the year-end recap no but in that one we're gonna have to figure it out because we're gonna have to do it over zoom i know dude i don't i don't want to do that i don't love zoom content were those were those supposed to be os i don't like so i think if you do the zoom right it's not bad it's just like there's a difference between like like what some people do which like use a real camera use a microphone record it on your own and then mash

them together and then you could do like just a straight up zoom call and just hit record like that's gonna suck but yeah that's that's bad but having a producer i feel like having a producer with a good microphone or something like that you reference cody co and noel miller how they do it dude and shout outs to fucking cody for getting engaged bro dude it was that like the most shared post of all time i saw it was trending i saw it and there was a single person from my hometown posted it on their story. I almost threw it up on my story. Why? Because Cody Cole is... I think he's just a very likable guy. He is. There was like no

like not even any comments below it. It was just like likes and retweets. Like people just fucking loved it or just like exclusive positivity about it. People just fucking... People love them. Yeah. I love love. I'm happy for them, bro. Happy for them. Are you actually, bro? I'll probably be invited to the wedding.

Me and Cody are pretty close like this. Is that fucking true, bro? I wish, bro. I just wish she stayed in contact, you know? I guess that's the shame of it. Did he fucking... He broke off? You bailed on me, bro.

You fucking bailed on me. Why did he do you like that, bro? What is the fucking purpose of doing you like that? I just wish he gave me a heads up that he was going to propose. I would have liked to know that. Dude, this guy fucking DM me this week and he was like, I was talking

to this guy, so-and-so from Tiny Meat Gang and he was talking shit about me. No way. What? Really? This guy from, not Cody Coe or Noel miller i didn't know there's more people in it oh they have like a whole nother uh podcast like they're doing like they have like they're starting like a podcast network he the dude just hit me up out of nowhere he's like this dude is talking shit about you in the podcast no to this guy personally this guy who i don't know and i

guess he doesn't know it's just he's like yeah this guy was. This guy who I don't know, and I guess he doesn't know. He was like, yeah, this guy was talking shit about you. He said, I messaged him to collab with you, and he said he'll check you out. He said Lil Sass is funny, but his partner is not. What? Yeah, bro. He fucking bodied me. Fuck that. Yeah.

Walk his ass. I know. I'd never even heard of the dude, and he just bodied me. They do like a business podcast, I think. But it's like a comedy podcast too. I don't know. I don't know if I should even say the guy's name. That wasn't nice.

Yeah. That's what I don't understand. I never had said anything or I don't know, just get embodied. Also not nice of the other dude. Why would he even tell me this? People love doing that. People love being like, yo, I just want to let you know this person said like the meanest thing you've ever i've ever heard about you my boys all hate you yeah i think you're dope but like don't listen to everyone i try dude i don't listen to every

single one of my friends because they all hate you but i love you i tried to tell my 270 person high school class about you and they uniformly hated you but i think you're dope all hundred all 269 people think you suck though i get people dming damn bro screenshots of uh like their messages with their friends and they're like send a tweet of mine they're like yo that kid fucking sucks i fucking hate that kid and he's like bro i'm sticking up for you in this i'm like oh thanks thanks man yeah what though just leave me out of that hate that loser just don't fucking tell me about it oh i could. I could have made it through the whole day without having that fucking... Thanks for the support, man.

Just didn't know if I needed to see those other messages. This guy fucking hates you. Damn, bro. This guy literally wants you to die. Dude, it's crazy because I've been spending all my time getting my weight up, not my hate up. But I guess these guys want to get their hate up. I don't even have hate in my heart i don't even think of anybody i really go out of my but i think maybe that just comes with

uh you know wanting more for yourself i think it just comes with uh sort of levels of success somebody's gonna hate you like fucking french montana said man if you don't fucking got no haters you ain't popping wallow gave us that speech on hate? What was he talking about? He was like, haters are advertising for you. They are spreading your name. They are trimming your pubes. Yeah. With Manscaped.

Manscaped. Love that. Love that transition. Yes, bro. The haters are fucking trimming your pubes, and they're using Manscaped. This whole episode is coincidentally also brought to you by our favorite producers of ball trimmers, Manscaped, the global leader in below the waist grooming. And they're leaving 2021 with a new product.

Clean yourself into the new year with their ultra premium body wash. Also, special offer alert. premium body wash also special offer alert go to manscaped.com slash sun for 20 off and free shipping at manscaped.com four million men already trust manscaped and now it's time to join them this is like a man this is a manly thing to do yeah it really is uh 2022 is on the way and the last thing you want is to be the guy with big-ass fucking bushy... Oh, you're still going? Bro, I read the introduction. You already gave the promo code. Usually we do that at the end.

Yeah, Manscaped is trying to... I usually don't like to give it away. Manscaped is revolutionary, not only in their ball trimming technology, but in their promo code technology. And they'll put that shit right at the beginning of the ad read. So you get it right away. Look, Manscaped doesn't play by the rules. That's what we love about them because we see ourselves as a very cutting edge podcast.

Cutting edge. Cutting edge. We're hip. We're in the scene, just like Manscaped. And if you're cutting the edge of your pub your pubes use the lawnmower 4.0 which is here to take down every pube in its path and i mean that thing is fucking vicious oh it doesn't miss sass you could have shaved your head with the fucking i literally almost did really i almost did but since it had already uh but i didn't know if like the guard levels were the

same as like a normal hair trimmer like it like if that's used for cutting hair so i was like probably shouldn't yeah because i feel like if i did that i actually could have ended up bald but i think that the fucking gave my said there's not a stitch left you go scorched earth oh yeah that's the true brush fire boy i go baby boy pubes i like to go to a barber to get mine touched up. I go to Owen's Dominican guy. Say, give me a fade. Give me a taper. Give me a Caesar around my ball sack. Can I get that lighter, bro?

Go to manscaped.com slash sun for 20% off and free shipping for their first order. It will have you leaving, smelling, feeling like a million bucks 20% off free shipping go to manscape.com slash sun 20% off free shipping go to manscape.com slash sun what the fuck just happened ow dude i just burnt the fuck out of my finger

you gotta get that back we gotta watch that clip back holy shit dude i i was lighting it and then the whole thing caught on fire ow i burnt the fuck out of my finger bro when was last time you even took a fucking puff now who's the cigar bitch brother that hurts so bad i'm the fucking i gotta go i gotta get i gotta see that clip i'm the new man yeah i definitely clipped that that's going viral oh my my God. That was on purpose, bro. That was acting. You look like a Tibetan monk who is fucking burning himself in protest.

Low-key. On that fucking low-key tip. Welcome back to Son of a Boy That After Hours. We're going to take things real slow. Oh, fuck yeah. Cigars. Hey, you at home, why don't you light up something to smoke?

Smoke along with us, whether it's pens, flour, wax, oils. That's actually like what I when I was like younger. Sorry, my bad. When I was younger and I was I was like super obsessed with weed even though i didn't smoke weed i would watch weed tubers and they would be like what is up everybody what can they make sure you are smoking along dabbing along vaping along what was their content what do they even talk about tubers got fucked hard there were dudes with like eight million subscribers on youtube like quit their job like their whole life

they were getting like millions of views like custom girl 420 remember him custom girl 420 no I don't remember what is up YouTube YouTube what up that was that guy right is that where you got the cadence from cadence from yeah and they all their channels just got deleted

so fucked because YouTube decided that weed wasn't cool what happened to the land of the free And all their channels just got deleted. So fucked. Because YouTube decided that weed wasn't cool. What happened to the land of the free and the home of the brave? What happened to not treading on us? Like one time, can we get freedom? Can the government not fucking tread on us? I'm sure this will get fucking pulled from YouTube because we got a couple fucking stokes in our hand.

Fully legal cigar. That's why we need to switch over to Spotify. I'm listening. You saying stick it to the man? Look's why we need to switch over to Spotify. I'm listening. You saying stick it to the man? Look, bro, I got an offer from Spotify. 20 million. One year. It's gonna fucking knock their socks off. I want that Pac McAfee deal.

Yeah, I need that Pac McAfee deal too, bro. I need to get that Pac. I was hoping that that just didn't. Yeah, you didn't hear that. Bro, I hear everything, bro. I listen like a thief, bro. Yeah. You don't fucking know. Like a thief in the night. Thief in the night. You got a haircut. The Bible says.

The Bible says. Oh, fuck. There's like a Steve Harvey quote where he's like, the Bible says, those who are comfortable with sleep, poverty will set upon him like a thief in the night. And that shit always gets me going. And they were like, good answer.

I listen to that every morning. Listen to that shit every morning. When was he saying that? Was he motivational speaking? Oh, yeah. He does motivational speaks. Dude, I'm with you on getting a side gig. And motivational speaking might be mine, dude.

Because I feel like those people are just- I'm about to be acting. I'm about to be in a fucking a-list i'm about to be an a-list celebrity you couldn't you could with that fucking haircut bro i'm about to be on my brianna chicken fry shit yeah going into the clubs having strippers throwing money at me you did kind of shave your head kind of like her boyfriend bro really does he have a shaved head? He just shaved it like two days before you did. I thought that's why you were doing it. No way. That's not why you did it?

I thought that was obviously why you did it. Is that not why? No, dude. This was an independent choice, believe it or not. Really? I find it hard to believe that you were on your phone for 20 hours a day. I wasn't even on my phone, bro. I was barely even on Twitter.

I was playing Apex. I was thinking about streaming, but I'm not going to. I don't want to ruin it. Why? I don't want to ruin video games by making it like part of my job. Could be another good rev stream

for the company, brother. Think about what they'd say up at corporate if they saw the numbies. Especially in Q1. Q1's where you really put your footmark in the whole rest of the year. You believe that poor noise said that son of a boy had to lose his

money for the company that's a tough look for us i don't it's not true yeah that's clearly not true oh roan's fired up yo cut this cut this bro roan's about roan's about to go ape on us. Ape shit. Who would ever say ape shit? Bro, I'm going to go ape shit. I'm about to go ape shit on your ass. You look like someone who would say ape shit with that new haircut. Dude, this haircut is fly. They don't want us to bust open the books, though.

No. They don't want us to bust open the fucking books. And they know we could. And they know we could. When I walked out of Dave's office, I said, you have no idea how high I can fly. I was thinking about saying that. That's what Michael Scott says when he quits Mifflin. You have no idea how high I can fly?

You have no idea how high I can fly. I should have said that. Gone back to my desk because obviously I wasn't going to quit. And just sat down, fucking back on your laptop. Also because I'm a fucking company man, believe it or not. It's a cash system, though.

Who else is here? Who else is here right now? Literally, it's an empty office. Except for the security guy. Except for the son of the boy dad squad. And the security guy said he would shoot someone for me earlier. Yeah. There was a guy.

Goddamn Monday. Goddamn Monday at five. Office is dead. Unbelievable. Not my bar stool. And we've been in here all fucking day. Probably be here tomorrow too just to get some extra fucking reps in.

And they got the nerve to tell me that I'm not a company guy. You know that we record for 15 hours every time we put out one hour? Yeah. We only take the best shit. Every single sentence is chopped up. Okay. This is a fucking meticulous You got no idea how hard I work. Early on in Call Her Daddy

that was really, that's what they would say They were like we're gonna fuck I mean they might have just been saying that Early on in Call Her Daddy They chopped up like every single sentence Yeah That's dedication bro They put it together like a ransom note

It was like letter by letter chopped in Like a goddamn puzzle That's why I love that guy mood man from you this is your battle you can fight that one yourself fucking love that guy the shit that he did for this company, bro. Built this thing from the ground up. Fucking unforgettable. He probably, he deserved the McAfee deal, really.

Isn't he like working, doesn't Moose like work for FaZe now? No, he works for Joe Biden. Really? Yeah, he's in the White House now. He's on the campaign team? Yeah. You see that White House like press release that they did about COVID? Yeah, they said that you have like a long winter of death ahead of you.

Yeah. They were like, those who are vaccinated, enjoy the holidays. Have a great time. Those who aren't vaccinated, prepare for a storm. It's going to be a long winter filled with death and overcapacity hospitals. The death of your family members. They literally said like prepare for the death of close ones and loved ones it sounded like a prophecy that would be foretold by like a witch with like a glass eye or something like that that's like absurd that they can say that if you're vaccinated

prepare for the age of prosperity yeah the land of milk and honey and untold bounties for your family. Prepare to meet your maker. If you're unvaccinated. His name is Dr. Fauci. We will hunt you and we will find you. Dr. Fauci will come to your terror with a death squad. The Onion. Remember when like the beginning of the pandemic,

the Onion had like a headline that was like, Trump campaign, Trump campaign, or like Trump campaign team fills Dr. Fauci's house with 250,000 dead bodies. Oh, bro. Shout out to the homies at the fucking onion, bro. I did a little bit of writing for them back in the day. For real?

Basically all the good ones that you've seen. No way. I used to be in some stock photos for them back in the day. no anything you say i would believe because you'll just like drop shit like that i know yeah actually one of my buddies started the onion fire fucking he's a rap battle he used to rap battle a lot of the thing i mean you never know bro rap battlers are pound for pound some of the most talented people in the industry they are everybody fucking knows that bro gotta write and perform your own shit

it's not like this happy handed fucking zoomer bullshit where fucking you have a whole fucking editing team in the fucking Japan when I was a kid

they didn't just hand shit to you you had to earn it you had to battle rap for it on the fucking stage in front of three judges on freestyle Friday on BET that was the measure

of a fucking man is that what it is so is there a freestyle friday there used to be an open mic thing like how do you get into like i know you i know how you got into it how does like a normal person just get into rap battling like a secret society will come up and tap you on the shoulder be like that we saw potential in you come up behind you in a cloak so there's like really nothing you can like do yeah like the first time i tried to get in one i was like can i be in a rap battle and they're like you have to have been in a rap battle first i was like what the fuck yeah like how does one do that how do

you do your first one um but outside of that i think uh you just kind of start up your own league or just like spit some fucking bars bro just go viral once bro that's the only thing you gotta do did right you went viral yeah you went like world star viral dude i'm trying to go viral in 2022 bro you went viral with the lettuce club bro i'm trying to fucking i'm trying to bring it back i'm trying to go viral in 2022 again fucking get some fucking numbies up sell some fucking merch dude i think we should just start doing a bunch of live shows. I think we should actually go on tour. Okay. All right. You're not thrilled about that.

No, I'll do it. Never mind, bro. I will do it. I think that... Never mind, bro. We go on tour. We fucking run the fucking pick and roll. A little okie doke on the fucking... On the fans.

You know what I mean? Yeah. 20,000 people in a fucking venue. Yeah. Fucking $800 a ticket. Boom. Next thing you know, we're making some money for the company yeah yeah that's what it takes yeah i saw dave down in mexico i said he needs to be in a nicer place than this flying spirit his ass was flying spirit bro

that was uh like those are obviously old pictures that you that you decided to use i actually didn't know that at first until that the pictures were. And then I was like, well, it kind of makes sense because the pictures are grainy as fuck. Yeah, nobody's wearing masks in the airport and shit. I didn't even think about that. Damn, you're smart. You're smarter than me. Yeah, you ever do those things where it's like, what's different in these two pictures?

One of them. There's masks. Yeah, exactly. You ever do workbooks when you were a kid yeah i did were you ever homeschooled no were you you kind of have the homeschool vibe don't say that shit bro it's an insult how that's a big insult how because most homeschool kids end up being serial killers who do they kill their fucking parents start off with their parents, yeah. They have no school to shoot up. It's the fucking safest place for a serial killer. Homeschooling. What are your goals for next year?

You got any New Year's resolutions? To get down to 4% body fat, first of all. Good luck, bro. This past year, I learned to love pineapple. I'm hoping for papaya this coming year as far as new fruits to try, new vegetables to try. I'm hoping for broccoli. I'm hoping to put broccoli on the— You don't eat broccoli?

I eat broccolini and broccoli rabe, but never— You just don't like broccoli? I just don't like the texture of it. You ever have a good broccoli? No. You've got to have a good broccoli? No. Never have. You've got to get some good broccoli. I've had expensive broccoli,

but it's never been good to me. Wow. What about Brussels sprouts? You like Brussels sprouts? I like Brussels sprouts. I love Brussels sprouts. I feel like Brussels sprouts have the most upside of any vegetable.

Yeah. My New Year's resolution is going to be to start cooking everything at home. Really? Yeah, even lunch. I'm going to start prepping my lunch. I don't start prepping my lunch.

I don't know. I saw a pretty scary clip today of some rapper trying to put like some grease. He was trying to like, he was frying something on his stovetop and he tried to put the grease in his sink and it like bubbled up and like fucking like scarred his face or some shit. Yeah. I mean, he didn't know that.

And there's little tricks like that about cooking that I feel like people don't necessarily know. Like the main problem with cooking for me is like running out of shit to make. Also, it just is a pain in the ass. But I know, I know for a fact if I... There's every dish in the world. You could cook a new thing every day for the rest of your life. Some things are harder to cook.

But I know, I know for a fact that if I started cooking at least five days a week, I would feel like insanely better. Because I am like, dude, I feel so shitty right now because I've had takeout for every single meal for the last 10 days. Yeah, and the shit that they're

serving for takeout is not like the best quality ingredients. No. Not even just like, there's some processed shit and there's some frozen shit and there's even maybe a little bit of fresh shit shout out to the truckers out there that are bringing it fresh to us but colorado though but there's yeah no one in colorado is eating fresh poor souls they need to start fucking cooking for themselves but i feel like there's just no it's just uh i went to this like restaurant last night that was all it was all fish it was just like a beautiful seafood restaurant yeah and the person that recommended it we were talking to them and

uh and he was saying he was gonna like take a walk after we're like oh that's why like he's an italian guy it's like that's why italians stay so thin yeah and they walk and he was like no we stay thin because we don't eat like the fucking shit that all americans are just dumping into their body the fucking processed shit what was your most ordered thing while you were over quarantine what you're doing your little i didn't eat a lot was the thing i would really i would order a breakfast sandwich and a coffee from the same place every morning i was good and then i would usually just order something at night tried to keep it light like sushi stuff like that yeah something for the bod i feel like

that's nice sushi's a little bit like last night i was like i'm starving so i went to the fast options got a popeye's chicken sandwich they brought me to fuck hey both of them damn bro within 10 minutes they don't realize that you're trying to avoid being skinny fat yeah and that shit was good how many push-ups were you on a day? Zero. It's tough to stay motivated like exercise wise when you're just in your room. I was doing squats though

in between Apex games. So you're saying so how if you're I did two sets of squats the entire time. How many per set? 20? 15?

You did 30 squats the entire time? By the end of them. Really? Dude when I went for that walk I walk, I got like 6,000 steps on this walk. It was a long walk. I was like cramping up and I was gassed

the whole time. Did you have like night sweats at any time or anything like that? Yeah. The whole time? No. Just like once or twice during the entire thing? Yeah, dude. I get like night sweats every time I take a nap. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Yesterday, I took a long ass nap like on accident.

I was set my alarm for 10 minutes, slept for two hours. And I woke up like soaked in sweat and like felt disgusting. Huh. Makes you think. Yeah. What does it make you think? Just makes you think. That your body's getting rid of toxins.

Dude, but I heard toxins might be bullshit. I heard that. I heard that. Huh? I heard that. Yeah, it's going around. Dude, toxins might not even be a real thing. You never know what's fucking real.

No, you don't. Especially with the media these days. Like, there's like fucking like infrared shit that people will put up to their face to try and stop aging or something like that. There's lights you can shine on your back to try and make you not feel pain. What the fuck are they talking about? You know what I was just talking about? What the fuck were you just talking about, bro? Driving sober or getting pulled over.

Is this an ad? Oh, yeah yeah i love this shit bro i love ads like this because sometimes we have to look out for people over the holiday season and look i know son of a boy dad is like a bit like our followers like to get fucked up and let's be real let's put down the cigars for a second and let's be real on this one i can't put down the cigar okay bro fair enough fair let's be real on this one. I can't put down the cigar. Okay, bro. Fair enough. Fair enough. That's ridiculous. And you can smoke a cigar while you're driving. I'm not saying no stogies and not driving.

Okay. There's nothing I like more than a stogie while I'm driving. That would be fucking crazy. But it's more about. Just a little tipsy. It's more about the NHTSA folks, the N-H-T-S-A folks, the Traffic Safety Administration folks. And they're pushing this drive sober or get pulled over campaign. You're hanging out with some friends. You're putting back

a couple of drinks. A few becomes a few too many. The evening comes to an end. People start to head out. They start and you think of calling for a ride and you say to yourself, no, I live nearby. I can, I can make it home. Okay. It's not a big deal. What are the odds you get pulled over anyway? And even so. What are the odds you get pulled over anyway? And even so- What are the odds you lose your license, you lose your job, your insurance goes up, you kill someone? Yeah. What are the odds of that? And people don't necessarily think about that, but they fucking should be. All they think about is, oh, I can get from point A to point B. Yeah. Go to the Uber. It'll be fun to Uber back in the morning to get your car so you can go back into your friend's house and you can talk about how funny and fun the night was.

Yeah. It's also fun to Uber. Get to fuck with the Uber driver a little bit. Yeah. Throw up. Throw up in the little back seat compartment. Better their car than yours. Throw up all over the cup holders.

Pick the fucking Christmas music. Put on the fucking Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas Is You fucking mix. Sing with your friends at the top of your voice. Put your hands over the Uber. Just kidding. You don't put them over their eyes. You don't do that. Yeah, just a couple times at red lights. At red lights. But they aren't drunk because they're Uber driving. They're doing

the smart thing. Hopefully. And you need to do the smart thing too. So if you think you're okay to drive after a few drinks, think again. play it safe, plan ahead and get a ride. One is too many. Yeah. It only takes one mistake

to change your life or someone else's life forever. Drive sober, get pulled over. For more information on the drive sober or get pulled over campaign, visit www.nhtsa.gov

slash drive sober. Or get pulled the fuck over. Yes, bro. Fucking rhyming shit. It fucking helps you remember it, man. It does.

If you could have had a, like if you could have taken one class when you were young, what would it have been? If you had one skill that you could have fostered since youth to be able to carry into your adulthood, what would it have been? I guess something that I wish that I was better at now is editing video. I mean,

I, I, I'm pretty decent at editing, but I wish I was like Quigs level of editing. Yeah. Like graphics and animation and shit like that. That would be sick to be able to make deep fakes or effects. Yeah.

That would be sick to be able to make it seem like fucking, because I love like, like I'm pretty good at Photoshop and I love like deep fakes. After effects. Yeah, that would be sick. To be able to make it seem like fucking. Because I love like, I'm pretty good at Photoshop. And I love like deep faking people on Photoshop and shit like that. Like, I think it's hilarious. I think it's fun to do. Deep fake people with a set of abs. Yeah, exactly. And I wish I could do it on video.

You know? Yeah. Just wish I fucking could. That's the goal. But I can't. Well, now picture yourself as a 40 year old and you look back at the last 20 years of your life, all the time you could have spent learning how to edit. This is like a little Ghost from Christmas Past type thing?

Yeah, this is a little fucking Ebenezer Scrooge dip. Yeah. What do you see now? Now I see a frustrated young boy sitting at his computer. He wishes he knew how to use After Effects, but he doesn't. And can he learn over the next 20 years?

He can't. He wants to so bad, but he just can't. And he never will be able to. You know why? Because he can't put down the goddamn cigars. You need two hands to edit. Everyone knows that. And you use two hands to smoke a cigar.

I used to do smoke a cigar. You smoke it like you're choking down a dick. Like a flute. It makes the dick look bigger if you use two hands to smoke a cigar. I used to do the smoke a cigar. You smoke it like you're choking down a dick. Like a flute. It makes the dick look bigger if you use both hands. That's what fucking... That was a joke from the movie I watched last night. Well, they stole that from Call Her Daddy. No, Call Her Daddy stole that from funny people.

Really? Yeah. Well, fucking... Damn, bro. That's like a war mode. You used that in their intro the other time. I thought it was that it makes the dick look smaller if you use two hands. No, bro.

It makes him feel like your dick is bigger. Bro, you could barely fit one hand around my dick. I never got that. What do you mean barely? I remember when I was in fifth grade. What do you mean barely? I remember when I was in fifth grade, some kid told me that he uses two hands to jerk off. And I was like, no, you don't.

But it wasn't fifth grade. It was like eighth grade. Yeah. Like, what is he trying to fucking? Yeah. I was like, dude, what is your dick? Like 10 inches long? You liar.

He ain't pushing spaghet. I was like, yeah. I was like, bro, you're a liar. He's like trying to massage a fucking golf ball out of a garden hose or something like that. That doesn't make any sense. Using two hands. No, it doesn't. But what do you like what where's your phone plus you got it and you got to use one hand to fucking hold on to the cowboy hat yeah you ever fucking like you're in a rodeo

use one hand to hold on to the noose so you don't like trip and then fall that's how they got epstein all you wanted to do is catch a nut in prison yeah it had been four days since little girl pussy I remember some dude in middle

in like high school or middle school told me that like his neighbor died because he was jerking off with a noose around his neck and I was like

that's the not true and I still don't think that that's a thing that people do it is it is what is it like

it's a thing that like one person has done ever auto erotic asphyxiation it's definitely a thing you gotta work for everything but you gotta work for everything damn bro are you older are you young i don't know bro if there's one thing i could go back and learn you're an old soul brother yeah yeah well what would you what would you go back and ask yourself i would learn woodwork yeah that was what i I was, that was in my head because that's more of a realistic thing to learn. I feel like. Yes, bro. You don't learn editing in high school.

You learn that in college. If you're like a film major, if you go back and you're just fucking making cabinets as like a nine year old or some shit, working with the fucking saw, working with the fucking, a single saw, like you're one of the seven dwarves or a fucking table saw measure twice, cut once type of shit bro being in the shop fucking blowing some shit maybe cutting off your ring finger or something accidentally you got a nub for the rest of your life i actually uh i you took shop i'm assuming right uh a little in college not in high school yeah shop was a fun ass class yeah yeah it was sweet you're cutting shit you're always cutting shit i don't even know what we

were cutting i don't even know what we were cutting i don't think we ever wound up with anything but they teach you how to cut we made a cutting board which was cool like really nice cutting board like put a nice finish on and everything a lacquer you put a lacquer on that thing and my mom put it through the dishwasher and it snapped in half really yeah you must have over lacquered it. I know. I think I did. Too much lacquer on that thing, man. Jake, when did your bitch ass learn how to edit? I started in early college. Just kind of figured it out.

Dude, Jake, is this your debut on Son of a Boy, Dad? Yeah, I've heard it a lot before. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Holy fuck, this is Jake. Stop this. And he knows how to edit. When did your bitch ass learn how to woodwork?

I never learned, so. Fuck, bro. That's surprising. I could see you being, like, a big woodworker. Do you think that that's manly, or do you think it's try-hard when, like, a grown man is fucking making a picnic table or some shit like that? That must be a great hobby. Yeah.

That's, like, gotta be one of the best hobbies you can have. That and, like, playing the piano. Men who just, like, build a chair. Like, I fucking made the satisfaction of it. Yeah. Didn't dudes just used to build houses? Yeah. People still do.

One of my like best friends, his dad like built half their house. That's so fucking crazy. I know. From scratch? Yeah. How do you build a house from scratch? I wouldn't even know where to start. I need to get a gang of my Amish buddies.

I need to head up Nado's way, fucking by Lancaster, and fucking link up with the Amish, fucking churn some of my own butter, and fucking raise a barn. You ever see those videos of the Amish dudes, like the time lapse of the Amish dudes raising a barn together? You struggling with that cigar, bro?

Yeah, I'm trying to put it out. Just drop it in the thing. It was hot. No, don't put water on it it's a cigar it's a cigar oh sass well i just want to make sure it doesn't burst into flames how would it burst into flames that was a that was a fun smoke was it yeah had a good time did it smoke good smoked good not gonna be able to get the taste of that thing out of my mouth for the next month though it's gonna's going to stain these clothes.

Yeah. I put on a puff of cologne this morning and now I have like this scumbag smell of cigar and cologne mixing with each other. Yeah. It's very, very scumbag-ish. It is. It's going to smell like you've been at like a strip club. Yeah. It smells like a fucking Pontiac, uncle in a Pontiac or some shit like that.

You got an uncle in a Pontiac? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck, man. A couple. A bro uncles and a couple pontiacs we need to you do you believe in fucking in verbalizing your goals in hopes that you'll manifest them into coming true yeah like writing yourself a check for a million dollars type of

thing no i don't really like know what my goals are right now. I would like to get this role for this show, but we'll see. Is it recurring or is it a cameo? Recurring. Every episode. Shh. Sheesh. Yeah, it would be sick if I got it. Please, bro.

Is it a new show? Is it a new show? I can't say. Is it a new show? I can't say. I've already said too much. Okay, it's a new show. I can't say. It's a new show? I can't say. I've already said too much. Okay. It's a new show. I don't want to jeopardize the opportunity. Okay. But I just wanted to make sure you weren't being

an added character to an already going show because that could be hard. I am. Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, so it's not a new show? It's not a new show. Oh, so you'd be like Cousin Greg's extra cousin on Sock Session or some shit like that. But it's a big role. What shows aren't being filmed

in the United States of America? Are you someone's brother in it? I don't know. Do you have siblings in the show? No, I don't think I'm anyone's brother. So you're the only child in the show? I think so. How are you going to relate?

I'll find a way. Lock myself in a room for a month, Heath Ledger style. What if you come out fucking twisted I think you would do great things for the podcast if I was on a show I think so too I got you a role too don't worry

I told them we were a package deal thank you bro that's the least you could do man just put me on a little bit bro just let me fucking come to the set and fucking be the homie that rolls blunts I might become a hall to get out to the set oh really I said too much it's in Chile be the homie that rolls blunts. I might become a hall to get out to the set. Oh, really? Nah, nah.

I said too much. It's in Chile? This is one of those classic scenarios where the amount that we've talked about it will ruin the role for you. No, it won't. No, it won't. We haven't said anything about it.

I just said I'm auditioning for a show. You just said we have to go to Argentina for the one thing. What shows are being filmed in Argentina? Bro, I did not say Argentina. No, Australia. I wouldn't be doing it if it was in Argentina. Really? No, I did not say Argentina. No, Australia. I wouldn't be doing it if it was in Argentina. Really?

No, I don't know anything about Argentina. They got the best steaks down there, bro. The fucking cattle down there, bro. Fucking cattle's insane down there, bro. You would go nuts if you went to Argentina once. We gotta go down to Argentina. So where is it? It's in the continental, right?

Or it's in Hawaii? I can't continental, right? Or it's in Hawaii. I can't say. Oh, and it's in Hawaii? No. But it's in the continental United... So it's not in the United States. I'll tell you once the camera... Wow.

But Vancouver is basically the United States, right? I would not be hyping it up if it was in Vancouver. You don't like Vancouver? I heard Vancouver is beautiful in the summertime. I actually heard it is very nice. I would love to go to Vancouver. Pine trees? Yeah, I've heard it's like

a cooler New York. Really? Yeah. I don't know what to expect, but I heard that there's like the ocean. That's like a big senior trip in high school.

Everyone goes to, people go to Vancouver when they graduate. Yeah. They get fucked up. Is there a lot of, people get kidnapped a lot up there?

No. Dude, maybe we should start fucking kidnapping people, bro. Yeah, that would be good for the pod. It'd be less scary if we were the ones who were doing the kidnapping. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, we're just throwing kids in fucking trunks or some shit.

I'm spitballing, but it seems lucrative. The way that people are always on alert for it. You ever watch Dexter? Yeah. Have you actually watched it or no? The first season. You like it? It was all right. Yeah, I'm kind of getting to a point? Yeah. Have you actually watched it or no? The first season. You like it? It was alright. Yeah, I'm kind of

getting to a point. Yeah. Shit's kind of getting a little turned off for me. Yeah. Maybe because I fucking hate Deb. Who's Deb's sister? Yeah. She sucks. Yeah. Yeah, he should kill her. He should. I wish Rudy killed her in the first season.

Does, uh, is the show Dexter? Yeah. That you're going to be on? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, okay. You're a son of Dexter? I don't have enough, like, soapy skills for that. Yeah, it's too serious?

Yeah. So yours will be a comedy show. No. So it's the guy, you couldn't play a drama role. Bro, it's The Office. It's The Office drama role bro it's the office it's the office reboot i'm playing jim shut up dude give us a look give us a we needed a fresh gift with the new haircut people love that people love the gift do it a little bit slower and hold it a little bit more still. Yeah, dude, that's a bald

gym. You can, bro. Slim gym, bro. But that's going to be one of your main skills with acting that you're going to need to work on your stillness. You know what I mean? I'm very I struggled with that in the audition. I was swaying around. I know you need to be still. You just have to practice being still. Yeah, it's tough. You think you can do it? I like what I do when I'm like trying to be still. I'm like, I feel every single muscle in my body

like begging to move. You got to master that. That's one thing I learned about myself in prison. My hand does not shake. You got to do some breathing techniques to still your body out. I think that's all acting

is honestly i think the people just sit still yeah i think that's all they do i swear to god i think they just don't move that much with getting like super comfortable in front of the camera and like not overacting yeah i think overacting is a thing that a lot of people fall into have you just say this didn't shit and like stand perfectly still i think underacting i think directors probably not for that yeah i tried to they said i perfectly still i think underacting i think director's probably not for that yeah i tried to they said i did a good job underacting he said they were like they were like you did a good job of not overdoing it really yeah what was one of your lines that was great i can't tell you my lines why what was one of them's not even released to

the public yet but i mean there has to be one of the lines that was benign that doesn't give away the script i can't bro is it avatar it is why do you think i got the head they're gonna paint this shit blue 11 foot sass yeah just you in a fucking one of those like light up suits that they film video games in that would be sick did you see the tom holland clips of him like doing that was nuts i just saw that before i came here he was fucking he's doing backflips off of moving cars why can't you do that shit

I don't know I'm not athletic enough it's probably because he's short apparently he was like a gymnast or some shit really yeah

he has the stout body of a gymnast yeah he also probably gets got like the best training for that those stunts

in the world yeah he was also attached to a wire like yeah I know. It's like, dude, lose the wire. He's no Jackie Chan.

Yeah, seriously. It's hard to respect a man who does a backflip with a wire. You should do him. He's wearing a fucking wire like a fed. They need to take away that wire. They need to take away the net like in Batman. Remember when Robin's parents died?

You ever see that Batman? Oh, yeah. The Batman, The Dark Knight? No, forever. Batman forever when robin's parents died they're like trying to get a bomb out of a circus tent no i haven't they're like a trapeze family his whole family dies no but i know that his parents are dead robin's yeah it's fucking sad bro because he's an orphan i fucking relate to robin more than any superhero character yeah did you see the videos of the people going nuts in the movie theater?

Dude, that was so cringey. And I thought that at first as well, but then I was like, oh, sports fans. Yeah. But dude, they were live reacting like that to everything that happened. Yeah. Like, dude, just watch the movie. Like, I get like at the end, like I know at the end of like the Avengers movie. It's why is it always only superhero movies i know like like uh black panther they all did the wakanda

forever like they're all standing up in the theater doing it and then like at the avengers apparently like everyone was like bawling crying at the end yeah why and i feel like uh even some people like when like robbie and like jeff lowowe and like Fran went, they were all like cheering and like crying. Like the whole gang was like crying. I mean, I guess people were just like obsessed with it.

And I guess people are obsessed as well with sports, but I think it's a little different when the sports are happening live. But maybe, I don't know, I guess your first time seeing things. Yeah, I don't know.

But also a damn near shed a tear when Soap died in Modern Warfare 3. For real? Yeah, you're along with him in that journey for the first two games. Yeah, bro. I'll fucking cry at a light breeze, though, bro. I fucking love crying, man.

I don't cry. Yeah, right, bro. You better start learning if you're going to be an actor. I know, right? That was what I was scared of. Because there's one scene where it goes from funny to being serious, and I couldn't do the transition. Really?

I'm such a bad serious actor. I know because you don't take anything serious in your life. That's mean. You see how I stood still when I fucking said it though? That's fucking acting bro. I'm fucking Meissner bro. I'm fucking Stanislavski bro.

Bro you're Stan Nolovski. Bro chill bro. Alright should we wrap it up Yeah it's been an hour and a half I think that we should get the fuck out of here No it's been exactly an hour and a half We were chewing the fat today I'd love to know like how many people get to this point

I think 15 Everybody does You think Oh what dude what you pop the fuck of fun don't stop That's why our last ad sold for more than our first ad. Really? If you get the last ad in the show, that means it's like your bat and clean

most valuable advertiser. Damn. Damn, they just shut off the fucking computers on us, though. I know. They're shutting off the fucking lights in here. That's how hard we fucking grind, bro. I know. Alright, well, thanks for listening, everybody. Hope you guys all have a great holiday season. Christmas, or if your Kwanzaa has already, I mean, your Hanukkah has already passed. Shout out to that.

But if your Kwanzaa is coming up enjoy that. I think people are going to be listening because COVID's back. No one's going outside. Oh fuck yeah. I'd say we're probably going to get like a couple hundred thousand listeners on this one. So it's going to be a dip? I meant to say like

300, 400k probably. So it's going to be a dip? Yeah, probably. God damn it. Fuck. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll talk to you guys next week.

Peace.