Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 37 - Aunty Bodies

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

-- Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 37 - Aunty Bodies -- Sas & Rone discuss their weeks, aliens, DiCaprio, hiking, traveling, politics, Euphoria, pogues, kooks, plans for the pod, & much more -- Full episode also available on YouTube -- Thanks for listening/watching!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, what's up, everybody? Or what is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Monday, January 10th. It is 1130 a.m., bright and early.

Quite bright out today. Not that early either. It's a little early, early for Quite bright out today. Not that early either. It's a little early. Early for me. Yeah. Why is it? Why is that early for you? Just is.

It shouldn't be. And you know what? Today's a great day to talk about that chat. Nope. No. Don't have to. You know what? Fuck that chat.

The tune's changed on Dat Chat around here. You know what? I'm out. Why no Dat Chat today? I think we should talk about BetterHelp. Is BetterHelp a presenting sponsor? We don't have one right now. So then let's not give them the presenting sponsor spot.

I think that we should wait until a little bit deeper into the episode. How many ads do we have Given what they paid for Two Only two No we're kind of We're losing money We're clawing back

We obviously are losing money We've been losing money Erica had to fucking Walk to work today Erica walks to work Brutal Brutal She's going through it right now

So how are you feeling Ron? How are you feeling Super spreader Ron? dude what the fuck are you talking about i didn't i never had shit bro yeah sure you didn't no i i got the covid this past week now that's why i'm trying to keep a nice six foot off off of you yeah but uh i did my five days in lockdown uh So did Owen. Owen did five days in lockdown? Me? My antibodies are stronger than ever. You look like you have an antibody with that fucking sweater. Definitely not an uncle body.

An antibody? Yeah, you do kind of have an antibody, bro. Bro, I wouldn't look like I had an antibody if I was wearing six jackets like you. This is card heart this is a working man i wore a car heart to the work today too so ones to the work to the work to the grind punching in punching out how was your uh covid what did you do i fucking i consumed so much media yeah what i watched just movie after fucking movie what was your what were the ones? You know what I watched this week? I watched The Arrival and it was bad.

What one was The Arrival? The alien one. Is that the... With Amy Adams. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see how some people... Okay, it wasn't like a bad movie.

And I'm sure... I think it's like one of those movies that it's like a film guy would love. Because I know this because I found it on the Jeff D. Lowe's website. And they all gave it like 99s. Bro. Are we about to talk about how Jeff D. Lowe might be wrong about all the movies? Because I found one off his website too and I didn't like it either. Because dude, the film guys don't just look for like a good plot.

They're like, wow, the cinematography on this film was beautiful. Yeah. 10 out of 10. I'd love a perfectly framed picture that's just about nothing. Yeah. Dude, so I watched the trailer. And I don't like watching trailers because I feel like they give away too much. So I watched like 30 seconds of the trailer.

And within the first 30 seconds, it's like the aliens are showing up and i was like all right instant yes i was like this has it's aliens you're gonna it's got a high score they're not just gonna yeah so i was like with the alien yeah exactly so i was like all right we'll watch this and i watched it with my parents and um and dude like the entire movie is about like them trying to like understand the aliens language yeah and they like talking shapes or some dumb ass shit and i was like what the hell is this and then and then i'm like looking at the comments on the trailer for the movie and they're like beautiful fantastic movie not the typical oh the aliens are going to come and kill all of us and i

was like that's literally what i was looking for that That's exactly what I thought. So that's that you got the only alien movie that doesn't offer that. Because that is kind of a cool concept, communicating with aliens or whatever. There was like one cool scene towards the end when they like figure out what the language means and everything. And that was interesting. But besides for that, I mean. Or when she locks herself in the bathroom with that alien and fucking fills up the bathroom with water and just gets fucked the kingdom come by it. Or is that the shape of water? Yeah, that's the shape of water.

Oh, that's the shape of water. Oh, fuck. Wait, so it's kind of the same plot as Shape of Water. It's very similar. She gets fucked. She's a sapiosexual. Yeah, she's like in love with one of the aliens. But yeah, she has a mental connection to them.

It's not like she's a physical connection like in Shape of Water. That's just someone getting fucked by an alien. And it's like, dude, like for the first, for for almost the entire movie you don't even know what the aliens are saying how cocky is it of human beings to think that aliens would want to come to our planet and fuck us no they don't it wasn't even that it was like they wanted to come they thought that like the reason that the aliens were coming was to like save us for the future nah no way what do you mean they also aren't gonna do Dude, these aliens were like

ten of them could fit on Earth. Why the fuck would they give a shit about Earth? They're massive? They're massive. All you can see is their feet. What if we went to another planet and just started fucking the aliens? I don't think we would. I don't think that that would be

logical for us. I don't think we would be attracted to them, but humans are just obsessed with thinking that we're going to get like probed by aliens or aliens have some kind of like sexual attraction to us. Like, no, they fucking don't. What if aliens were just like humans? Like, what if they just looked exactly like humans? Now you might be honest. Now that's some Ridley Scott shit, bro.

Call us Ridley, bro. Yeah. We might have some fucking, we might have some shit to drop on him. I did want Ben Mint. What? He does have a little bit of the men in black, alien, in an alien suit guy.

Do you think, has anyone explored that? Is Ben Mint maybe just in an alien suit, men in black style? He could be. He kind of has a little jump to him like that. He does. But I watched that other fucking coming from outer space movie that everybody watched. suit men in black style he could be he kind of has a little jump to him like that um but uh i watched that other fucking coming from outer space movie that everybody watched uh the netflix one

with the oh adam mckay one decent yeah wasn't good wasn't bad i mean i enjoyed watching it it said that wasn't good i kind of think it was bad though really i enjoyed it yeah like i had nothing i wasn't like against it at all. It just like wasn't, I thought it was gonna be more funny. Yeah. It wasn't funny. It wasn't funny really.

Cause like Jonah Hill's character is very funny. Yeah. He's a funny, yeah. That was a great character. Do you think that he was, he was making fun of Dave Portnoy, that character?

I don't know. I thought that a couple of times throughout the movie. No, I think it was pretty clear shot at Trump, but you, I think it was a pretty clear shot at Trump. But you don't think it was a combination of one of the Trumps and Dave Portnoy? No. Because remember that... I don't think so.

Remember that report that someone... It was on one of those overheard websites, and it was like Leonardo DiCaprio was just sitting at a table talking shit on Dave Portnoy or whatever? I don't think he was talking shit on Dave. I think he was talking shit on Barstool. Are you sure? I thought it was that he was talking shit on Dave Portnoy.

But maybe. No, I think it was just Barstool. It was like Leonardo DiCaprio and like 15 of his closest friends. Just like cheersing at a fucking German beer hall, like smashing their steins together, laughing about how dumb Barstool is. Yeah. I'm assuming it had to do with like did someone write something about leo probably that he probably dave just

being like i'm as hot as him yeah he's like on the new leo i've heard have you ever heard the stories about leo fucking with the headphones on no yeah. Yeah. It's like a known thing. Apparently he only fucks with headphones on. Shut up. He wears over ear headphones. Well, because those noise cancel. Yeah. It's doggy style. And he just looks at the headboard of the hotel bed as he crushes a box mod vape. Shut up. Yeah. Sex is very

transactional for him at this point. Who says this? Him. I've heard it many times. Him? Yeah. What do you mean? Well, no. The girls. And there's no way that even if he's... I've heard multiple rumors about this.

Yeah, it's probably just the same rumor repackaged from different people. Well, we should see how many of them we could get on the pod. Yeah, we should. Of Leo's... His grown-up ex-girlfriends? Yeah. Because like... His very adult age ex-girlfriends yeah because like his very adult age

ex-girlfriends by now his early ones are probably pretty adult age yeah they're probably like around 18 like when did he start stopping

dating girls at 26 or 25 or whatever no he still does I think he has a girlfriend by now it's like 25

but when did he start stopping that when did he start leaving them at 26, at 25? You know what I mean? Did he do that when he was 25 years old? Did he wait until he was 31 years old to start leaving them off? No idea. I wonder if some of his girlfriends are like his age.

Have they ever been his age? I'm sure he's probably dated like actresses. Has he ever dated older people like when Pete Davidson was dating the... Kim Kardashian? No, or I mean, I guess, i guess but i'm she's 13 years older than him that's like me and you oh that's not that no that's not weird then that's not that normal no uh no but who kate beckinsale how old was how much older was kate beckinsale she was significantly older when pete davidson yeah you ever go on those celebrity net worth websites? Yeah, all the time. It says that my net worth is like a million dollars.

I know. That's why that shit cannot be real. Except mine's not on the actual website. Mine's on like some like random website that some dude wrote up. But all of them are just some random website. Like what could any of it be based on? So I think celeb net worth is like pretty accurate. I don't think it is.

I mean, I don't think any of it's accurate because i think like a lot of people have their money in stocks and stuff and it just goes up and down yeah it fluctuates or like how much somebody's house is worth or whatever like i feel like all that shit is always constantly in flux yeah i when i look up net worth i don't mean like i don't give a fuck how much like they're like like putting their house and their cars and stuff come on i just want to know fuck how much like they're like, like putting their house in their cars and stuff. Come on. I just want to know like how much money they make a year.

You want to know someone's salary. Yeah. So we need the salary website. Yeah. But most people are like cobbling together their salary. Like they're working at Barstool and they're throwing comedy shows. Yeah. You guys throw a comedy show this weekend?

Yeah, we did. Shut up. Yeah. It was a good time. time dude i would have loved to get five minutes bro isn't it bro crowd was hot we tried giving nicky clicky five yeah we tried to get nick five he said he's gonna do it next time why wouldn't he take five i don't know we needed him we had a we kind of had like a little bit of a fuck up how's that because we had someone coming at the end and they weren't there yet and we were like done with the show basically waiting for them and so you could use five come out and do 20 you did 11 and a half i actually did 15 all right and i know i did 15 because i have the video and it's 15 minutes long you lost 10 45 did you run home and watch the video? No, they sent it to me because I'm submitting it to something.

Shut up. Montreal? Yeah. Actually? Yeah. I know my shit, bro. Yeah. It's a good clip, too.

I think I might get it. You think you're going to get Montreal at this age? Yeah, right. Yeah, right with your fucking young ass. People are still trying to be ageist against you. You'll never end. You're going to be an old ass man and people are going to be like,

yeah, he died young for his age. I know. It's not bullshit. I'm trying to get outdoors. Okay. Talk to me. In 2022. Talk to me.

Just trying to like really hike a lot. Talk to me. Like you'd not be in the office as much. In 2022. Talk to me. Just trying to like really hike a lot. Talk to me. Like you'd not be in the office as much. Of course. Like we should be in control of when we're in the office. The only thing that's holding us down is that fucking yak show. I know. I know.

Where's they cancel that? I know. I gotta end that. End that bullshit. I'm just kidding. I fucking love the yak. We should start recording the podcast from like the top of a mountain. Fuck.

I was just going to say that. We should do a the podcast from like the top of a mountain fuck I was just gonna say we should do a retreat hike episode at the peak episode at the peak that would be awesome except I'm assuming it would be really windy and the audio would be fucked

but we could use those mics that have like a big ass Chewbacca on the end of them have you ever seen the real furry ass mics yeah people do that shit and it works

how did they get the fucking audio for the alpinist they're on the top of a fucking mountain true works. How did they get the fucking audio for the Alpinist? They're on the top of a fucking mountain. True. They are. How did they get that audio? No idea. You think it was all a Foley artist?

Could have been. Yeah. All the voiceovers, probably. They were just faking the fucking chipping of the ice? Yeah. That would be so fun. To get on top of a mountain? Yeah.

What's giving you this wanderlust? Why are you so horny for the outdoors? What's this lust about? Well, last year I wanted to do, I wanted to hike 12 mountains and I hiked two. Yikes. So I didn't quite meet that goal. So by that

rate, you'll probably get to the Saskatchewan comedy festival not in Montreal. We're setting big goals and hitting small ones. Yeah. I mean, I didn't think 12 was that crazy. Like, I just wanted to

hike once a month. Yeah, I think that that's super realistic and I don't even think you have to go to the ends of the earth to do it. No, I could have gone

to like upstate New York but like I don't really know where I would go and all that shit. Who would go with me? Yeah. Probably just be a solo adventure.

I'll go with you. I have a fucking pair of hiking shoes i'm in the gorp core bro what do you know about i got some nice ass ll bean hiking boots for real oh yeah the duck boots oh yeah the 2017 duck boots or the fucking uh and uh and i got the fucking the chains that go on the bottom of the boots would you bring a sidearm in case you wait like crampons what do you what do you mean the chains the spikes so crampons yeah you got crampons dude when you're hiking in the ice you need them you're you've never hiked in the fucking ice yes i have you walk on snow no dude i did hikes last year that was like on sheets of ice no No way. Yes.

I fell on my ass many times. Show me a picture. I don't have one. It was called Camel's Hump. You were shirtless in the one you posted. That one was not in, that was in Wyoming and it was the summer. Was there ice? No.

There wasn't even snow. Camel's Hump, on the other hand, dude, we were slipping and sliding the whole time. We literally slid down the entire mountain on our butts. Sounds awesome. can i say what state it was in or would this be a docks camel's hump in vermont yeah in vermont yeah there's no ice on it dude dude it's it's literally like a it's like a glacier almost it said there's never been ice on it that's just not true no there's there's a light dusting of snow is this what we're talking about camels yeah that's just not true. No, there's a light dusting of snow. Is this what we're talking about, Campbell? Yeah. That's a glacier.

This is not a glacier. Bro, that's a glacier. Glacier's all ice. Dude, it was literally all ice. We did it in like February. I mean... You don't think there's land under it? No, there is definitely land under it.

But it was literally, we were hiking on ice the entire time. To your point, we are still in an ice age. In like an overarching, like, if we look at this in a macro way, we are in an ice age right now. There could be something to that. Dude, I don't know why you guys don't believe

me that there would be ice. I said we're in an ice age! Why would you guys not believe me that there would be ice on the top of a mountain? I'm backing you up. We are in an ice age. It was crazy weather. Do I'm backing you up. We are in an ice age. It was crazy weather. Do I have to look up that we're in an ice age? Do I have to prove that? At the top of the mountain, it was so foggy,

you could barely even see next to you. Dude, think of the fucking funny-ass shit we'd be talking about up there. Oh, dude. The mics wouldn't even be able to handle that kind of convo. The fucking... Dude. Back again.

Shout out to Troops. Just got married. Yes, Troops got married. I was trying to see if the fucking just tied the knot yeah that was happy for him i fucking love that dude did you see he did he rapped he did like a little grime rap after his or his no fucking uh i love how he was like walking down like after leaving his wedding with just like his phone on in his hand oh it was just on i didn't even see the picture big ass phone he's got like the iphone 13 plus yeah yeah just carrying around the ipad yeah he's got the microsoft surface pro yeah uh yeah i i was happy for him happy that he got to fucking rap a little bit happy that he got to get on stage and fucking bust a little fucking freestyle yeah dude i want to be british and married i don't mean to dude i was talking to some people that knew you this weekend let's go dude i love this

this podcast has a fucking some chaotic ass add energy and i fucking like it bro i i think we can keep it going too i don't think you have to land on any lily pad no i think we should be hopping from fucking lily pad to lily pad. I want to try and draw your guys' conversation like flowchart one day. Yes, bro. Well, there's no need to stick on one topic for too long. Exactly. That shit gets boring. What are we going to do? Talk about troops getting married for the next hour? I want to hear about whatever

you just started talking about instead. I heard I was talking to these guys who knew you. Who are they? Comedians. Shut up. But like they one of them was in prison shut up multiple times for throwing a snowball at a bouncer that could be ruiz no ruiz is not a comedian he's a lacrosse player i could actually find their name super nice guys where are they from how did they know me geo perez yeah he's a comedian that's my fucking dog no like they don't know you personally they just

knew of you oh okay they were like oh like i was talking about like doing a podcast and stuff and they were like they were like oh shit wait that's roan and then they were going crazy they're like roan's a battle rapper hero he saved my life multiple times people did used to say that you we saved their lives by battle rapping okay that's a tough... It's love. Have you ever sent that message to someone famous? He said he was the reason that you went to jail. He said you were the reason he went to prison. Because he was throwing fucking snowballs at somebody?

Yeah, because he was so amped up listening to your battle rap. Are you serious? He acted out. I feel like they wouldn't actually send someone to prison. No, no, they did. Because he hit a mirror and then the mirror broke and it cut the bouncer. What? Yeah.

With a snowball? With a snowball. But that's fucking an accident. I know, I told them it was like the British and the Bostonians. The Tea Party? Yeah. How is that like that? Or the Boston Massacre, that's how it started.

What happened? Yeah. Tell me about the Boston Massacre, because I don't know much about it. That's what I said. I was like, oh, it sounds like the Boston Massacre. And he was like, what? He's like, the Boston Bombers? And I was like, no.

No, the Boston Massacre. It was like the British were down there with all their muskets and the people from Boston didn't have any guns. And they started throwing snowballs at the British people. And then the British started shooting at them with weapons. So what's the similarity between the two stories? They both had a snowball? They both had a snowball? They both had a snowball? I respect that you know

just one or two historical events and you're going to get it in. It was funny in the moment. They were crying and laughing. You should be more into history. It would fit you. Now, I'm not into history at all. I tried to listen to a podcast about fucking George Washington

when i was that sounds really good off covid that sounds really fun it was so bad dude i was like i'm about to fucking learn history bro i'm about to have some shit to chew on and talk about and it just was like he went from one town and then he got to another town yeah i don't know why the hell you would think that's a good idea it wasn't like war it was just like about a trip that he took when he was just president and him just going around yeah that sounds awful he's just going around and shit was dirty it's like no shit shit was dirty it was 300 years ago the fuck was it really only 300 it was not even 300 friends that's crazy we're not even at the

246 sesquicentennial 246 when's the when's I don't know I did the math for 1776 yeah so so it was 26 when I was like George Washington was born so we turned 250 at 26

in 2026 US turns 250 it's like not that long yeah it's super short yeah we do not have shit figured out yet that's crazy

we're in like a little sassy teenager phase like there's gonna be a point where people are like oh yeah like the 1000 years or not damn only 250 years dude yeah that's like nothing that's like two back-to-back lives of old people yeah that's crazy that's like two generations so like when betty white was alive it was like the united states had only been a thing for like 100 years.

That's crazy. She was alive for half of America. She was born before the Great Depression. Are you guys fucking with me? 1776, dude. Do the math. Oh, you guys are fucking with me, aren't you? No.

We're not. That doesn't sound right at all. Subtract 2026 minus 1776. I can't do those numbers in my head. Let's pull it up on the fucking phone. I didn't sign up to be a fucking data analysis, bro. Grab Ebo. Yeah, get Ebo in here. 2026 minus

1776 250. That's crazy. That's five years out. Yeah. We're not even 250 yet, bro. What are we going to do for the 250? The podcast will still be a thing?

What? I'll probably be dead by then. Yeah, but we'll still be doing it. Yeah, Nick will be on. This is my farewell episode. Why didn't you tell people you were just suspended for fucking being a homophobe? I don't know. I didn't feel like telling them.

Yeah? Yeah. Dude, I didn't know that that Joey dude was 40 years old. Yeah. Or like 43. Is he? Yeah, he's older than America. Yeah.

Dude, he's been alive for like half of America. It's been like a fifth of America that he's been alive. And that's serious that he's been alive for like half of America. It's been like a fifth of America that he's been alive. And that's serious that he's been alive for a fifth of America. Dude, that does not sound right. That Joey's been alive for a fifth of America? No, that America's only been around for like 240 years. Yeah. It's super young.

Are you guys fucking... I don't even want this to go out if this is like you guys are fucking... We're not. Use fucking math. I just showed you the fucking math. I'm running it again. I'm running it by myself. Crunch the fucking number.

I don't believe you guys. This is. Why is the comet getting closer to the United States? Damn, dude. Two fifty. Two fifties young as fuck. That shit ain't right. It's that.

We got to focus on who's going to be in office for it. Let's start planning that out. Sleepy Joe. Sleepy Joe? Not in fucking eight, in six years. Oh, yeah. He's going triple. He's going to be the first president to take it.

It's going to be gun girl. Dude, this must be the worst presidency ever. Let's get real political. Worst presidency ever. Gun girl's taking me out. Worst presidency ever girls taking me out worst presidency ever because of what they're dude they just suck ass who what do you mean joe biden and kamala harris they suck kamala harris goes on goes on live television and she's like and she's like the january 6th riots were worse than the

holocaust dude she went on and she said that the gen she said there was three days in the united states where where democracy was assaulted pearl harbor 9 11 and on january 6th yeah that's uh fucking insane yeah it's it's a crazy thing to say. She's just, it's just a, it's just a, yeah. It's just like who can be the most dramatic and get the tears going for the camera? Yeah. But no one thinks that. No one is thinking like, oh, the January 6th riots were just as bad as 9-11 and Pearl Harbor. But she's just part of a culture that's just like, no one's going to pay attention unless you put a superlative on something.

Unless something's like the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Like, no, it doesn't even like, she's just trying to get headlines. She's trying to be a fucking president herself. And Joe Biden's sitting next to her just asleep. He's like. You think that he's taken any kind of like, like naughty drugs or like steroids or anything? They probably got him on so many drugs. He's not alive.

Dude, he's yeah. Like he's going to die. I think he will genuinely die before his presidency is over. No, I don't think they'll let him die. I don't think they let you die, especially when you're around that many youth or whatever, when you get to just kind of crack into the back of the necks of that many children and kind of like suckle at their blood. I don't think that you will die that fast.

I think that there's like enough nutrients that you can get from unscrewing a young child's head like a pez dispenser and draining them how old are the kids that they use like four to six probably probably young enough what the fuck are you guys talking what are you guys talking about what kids are they using the fucking like spine transfusions what that they're fucking how do you think where do you think they're taking here they're taking the kids body parts and giving them to joe well mostly like blood and he sniffs them to see if they got the right blood type oh you just hound it out you can smell them down i'm trying to find out some new stereotypes about

joe biden especially if shit himself with the pope is that new though i'm trying to find out some new stereotypes about Joe Biden. Especially if... He shit himself with the Pope. Is that new, though? I'm trying to find some really new stereotypes, though. Like, sleepy? Of course. Pooped himself? Why not? I could do... It's just like... If him and Gun Girl run against each other for president and they both have shit

themselves, who even has the upper hand? Dude, I don't think Gunor will ever become president i think like elon musk literally might why just because he's that popular yeah uh-oh that water almost just fucking killed me bro you good that fucking sip of water chilling it just almost fucking went down the fucking wrong yo r good? Bro, do you think you could give me the Heimlich right now? No, I think that I was just looking at Joe Biden's Twitter

and it's just like, dude, he just every other day he tweets, get vaxxed, folks, and get your booster, folks. And it's like, you know it's not him. He has no part in that. I genuinely don't think he's like, I think he doesn't do anything. There's a writer's room, then they what like the voice of joe biden should be be like oh he should be like a folksy

old like fucking yeah lovable and they think like nit blanket grandfather who watches like the braves game at yeah exactly and they think because like trump was so shitty like and he was like always on twitter like tweeting insane shit they think that like Joe is going to go for the more like laid back. Like, I'm just going to I'm just going to tell him what to do. Tell him how it is. But it's like, dude, you're not doing anything. But my question for you is, does that does that bother you? It bothers me that it's like tweeting get vaccinated, folks.

It's like who in the world who's not vaccinated is going to see that tweet and be like, fuck it. It's time to get time to go get vaccinated. Yeah. No one. Definitely. not vaccinated is gonna see that tweet and be like fuck it it's time to get time to go get vaccinated yeah no one definitely literally dude like he has 30 million followers and everyone in the country knows him not one person saw that tweet and was like i'm gonna go get vaccinated now definitely not but it definitely did numbies though yeah i did like a million dude and i was like looking through all his tweets and they're all just like patience folks like it's like all just like one word and then folks and you know that they think because the first one that they did was like the first one they did was during the election and they were like and he was like stay at the polls folks and it got like a million likes and you know they saw that like

the folks thing did well and they're like all right let's run with this it's trans well years oh they definitely have data uh analysis on folks oh yeah and and what uh exact dude they're like, all right, let's rhyme with this for the next four years. Oh, they definitely have data analysis on folks. Oh, yeah. And what... Exactly. Dude, they're probably going to drop merch that just says folks. Get vaxxed, folks. Get vaxxed, folks.

Dude, but do you think that presidents are people too? No. Do you think that they're from like an alien master race type of deal? No, I think they're people. Reptilian? So do you think that they're entitled to get the same brain rush from doing numbies on the tweet that you are?

No, definitely not. Why not? Why not? If they're people too, they can't get through the same highs and lows that you can? No. They can't fucking chase the same dragon you do? No. Why? That just wouldn't make sense. Imagine, like, do you think getting numbies on a tweet is nice? Imagine having the fucking vote for you bro yeah that would be awesome i would never

want to be president and i don't know what about having 50 million people vote for you bro yeah that'd be pretty crazy so are you thinking about running for press no definitely not why because i'm not dude like even kanye west how many votes did he get like 100 did he he must have got more than that he probably he probably did i'm not dude like even kanye west how many votes did he get like a hundred did he he must have got more than that he probably he probably did i think he got like 50 000 or something no probably close to it that's it i bet he did a milli oh can you check how many votes kanye got yes sir thank you friend i just i i i think that there's got to be some rush and i think that biden probably from time to time scrolls his twitter and feels good about himself

dude i don't think he has Twitter on his phone. What do you think he has on his phone? Like notes. Probably like the Purina dog chow app. He probably has a notes app. Over 1.5 million votes. Damn. Damn, man.

Oh, all right, yay. Talk to him. Okay, yay. We see you. I think that Joe Biden probably has like a notes app set up. And like he thinks he's tweeting on it. And they're telling him that all those tweets are going out. And there's just like hundreds of them that have never seen the light of day. Like you could easily like just link the notes app to your notes app or something to have like a shared app.

Like he's old enough where he's like not technologically savvy with like his phone or computers that people could much less national security like people close to him could easily just do whatever they want with his phone and shit yeah much less national security this is a national security risk though oh yeah 100 we need snipers on the fucking roof yeah i don't know bro i didn't mean to get too political there seems like you did bro i got out of the bag. Don't work out into me. It was like you fucking did. But I don't mind, bro. I'm not scared.

One of the docs that I watched was the Capitol Riot doc on fucking HBO Showtime. I've never seen it. Something like that. It was blow by blow. It's crazy because they just had so much fucking footage of it. Yeah, there's some funny shit. I saw some funny clips this week. Like there's one guy and he's like, we're going to get in there.

And then the guy behind him is like, yeah. And then what? That was like a real convo from the people that were storming it. And then the clip of the people like climbing up the walls and like falling down like 20 feet. Yeah. And people are like, falling down 20 feet. Yeah. And people are like, there's literally stairs. Yeah. You see the one of them jamming the automatic doors and stuff?

Who was? The people that ran in? They throw chairs under before it falls down. My question is, did everybody who went in get arrested? Was there anybody? No. Could you go in and just be like, oh, I'm a journalist. I'm just documenting this for other people.

I think a lot of people did, though. Or was it only the naughty ones? I think only the ones that were fucking around. Fucking around big time, got in trouble. Only the naughty ones? I don't know, though. I'm assuming a lot of them probably got caught. Yeah, oh, yeah.

A dude I went to high school with as a journalist now. And that's like the beat that he's on. He's always fucking cranking out. Like this guy got arrested. Like they found this dude in his fucking home. Like all the dudes. They're getting charged with domestic terrorism, right? Yeah.

I think they're doing like, or they're doing a couple of years in jail. No, it's probably more than that. The bros, man. Fucking free the fucking dude with the hat. That dude's doing life. Yeah, but he's probably going to get some incredible conjugal visits. He's probably going to have some fucking... There's going to be a tour with him and Kyle Rittenhouse.

Rittenhouse walks free. Rittenhouse fell off hard. Did he? Yeah. How? Dude, he was like the talk of the town. And he sold out arenas like two weeks ago. Yeah.

I mean, what has he done since then? That's the problem with this world, bro. It's fucking what have you done for me lately, bro? I mean, I'm assuming like I'm assuming people probably went to those things thinking that he was going to be like some god. And they were probably just like this kid's like 17 years old. Yeah. He's prepubescent. Yeah.

He's half brain. Yeah. Not like me. I'm a full brain. When did you feel that your full brain had grown in? like this kid's like 17 years old yeah he's prepubescent yeah he's half brain yeah not like me i'm a full brain when do you get when did you uh feel that your full brain had grown in is it like being a butterfly does it just like pop in one day no my head my full i'm still like half brain and maybe even a quarter brain you think your head's gonna get bigger when you get bigger brains hopefully i've been reading a ton shut Shut up. Yeah, every single day. Bullshit. Yeah. How much? And what type of books?

Dude, I got the Kindle thing is awesome. Oh, really? Yeah. I thought I would hate it because I like reading actual books. Yeah. But I can turn my lights off, throw the Kindle on, and fall asleep while reading. So I read every single night. Is this a Kindle commercial?

Dude, it should be. Is it good for your mental health? Oh, yeah. What else is good for your mental health? Fucking Better Help. For sure. For sure. It is, bro. We're going to talk more about that Kindle and the fact that you're fucking in Jeff Bezos' little pocket,

fucking reading his little propaganda books every day. But first, better help. Better help. There's a lot of ways that you can take care of yourself. You can take care of your bod by fucking crunches, sit-ups, planks, side planks, burpees, seated rows. You can take care of your car by taking it to the Meineke. The Jiffy Lube. Pep Boys.

Midas. Midas. You could take care of your brain by turning it into BetterHelp. And that's why you need to use BetterHelp in your life. BetterHelp is an incredible service. I use is an incredible service.

I use it as an app. It's a website, and it's going to give you incredible therapy when you need it, as soon as you need it. And you can get that thing in in-person conversations on the phone. You can have a little video conference. You can do it tons of different ways. Harry, tell them about BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online customized therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp Online Therapy. Can I raise my hand? I'm one of the 2 million. I'm about to be one. Are you? Oh yeah. You're going to get in right now? I think I'm going to today. The thing I fucking love about this. Well I already am. That was a lie.

But I think I'm going to start going more. Double go? Double go. I want to have like 6 therapists at once. And just have them working on you? Yeah. Just get a second opinion. Have them going against each other. I think that's the benefit of the BetterHelp network. You can reach out to...

Whoa, bro. The hell was that? COVID burp? Gross. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. And our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash sun. BetterHelp, and our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash sun. That is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash sun.

Go to BetterHelp today. Get your mind right. Get your freaking mind right. Dude, that was really good. Thank you. I keep my nine tuck. Chop dimes up. Laugh about it.

Wild out. Fuck dudes up. Yeah. Laugh about it. Yeah. I'm not trying to talk to them more oh your mouth opens wide I know can you fit your fist in your mouth Jesus Christ bro

you're sick you definitely can I used to be able to I was thinking about something else. I was thinking about, you guys watch Euphoria? Dude, you gotta stop going like three sentences ahead. No, I like it. I'm always a couple sentences ahead.

I watch Euphoria. I was just thinking about a tweet that I saw. What was it? I've never even seen the show. I've just seen the trailer and clips of it. And I love the tweets that are like me getting dressed for my first day of school at Euphoria. And they're wearing a thong. Oh my God, dude.

I saw one, a TikTok comment. Euphoria is the reason I started doing coke. 42,000 likes. And the reply is, is it good? So good, yes. But I'm in rehab now that's crazy and these are just like 15 year olds talking about watching euphoria

yeah well the thing that is the thing that I like about euphoria is how accurate it is like how similar it was to my high school experience in what ways coke fistfights murder molly trans people trans people, trans people,

a lot of drug dealing, exploring my sexuality, fighting, fighting, adult trans people, adult trans people, sucking cock, sucking cock,

there was, coke, there, it was an hour and five minutes, weapons, of the episode last night, you watched the episode last night, You watched the episode last night? Of course.

Bro, do you watch everything? I have had fucking COVID. You shouldn't be here right now. Owen sounds like he's fucking dipped his head in phlegm. Oh, yeah. And fucking sass. When you had it, you're fucking more sniffly than anybody. Bro.

I already had COVID. Yeah. Everyone knows you already had COVID. Yeah. And everyone knows you can't get it twice. I've seen a ton of people getting it twice, too. I know. Me, too. All right, continue. What?

No, you were talking about something. What did you just bring up? We were talking about watching the show last night. Oh, it was just fucking seven of the hour and five minutes had a penis on the screen. Fuck, yeah. There's so many penises. Dude, the amount of penises that I saw in high school, dangerous.

You had too, right? We didn't have gym class or showers. We had to shower on the first day of high school. Yeah? Yeah, it was like August 25th. I had to shower. They made me shower in the principal's office. A group assessment of the... Where'd you go? Penn State, bro? Sh shower in the principal's office. A group assessment of the... Where'd you go? Penn State, bro?

Shower in the principal's office. Don't talk about the Lions like that. What Catholic high school were you going to? Nah, I play too much. Yeah, you do? Shit's not fucking funny. There are probably people who did have to fucking shower in the principal's office. There was...

On these shows that depict high school too it's always like obviously adult actors pretending to be in high school Zendaya's like 30 now right everybody on that show the fucking the yellow jacket show they all pretend to be in high school and then they all just like get ass naked and fuck each other

it's like wait am I supposed to you're in high school and you're naked fucking each other? Shit does not make any sense. No, not at all. Not even in the slightest. Do you watch Outer Banks? Oh yeah, I love Outer Banks. I would fucking die for John B, bro. I'm a pogue. I'm a pogue for life.

What even is a pogue? Bro, you gotta get yourself under control. Oh, gross. Gross. What's a fucking pogue? Take a lap, gross gross what's a fucking poke take a lap dude what's a fucking poke you got the republican covid what does that mean so much worse pogue is uh it's hard to explain you kind of just know when you know so it's like a pogue is the kind of is the kind of guy that uh or girl that doesn't really suck up to the man. Oh, wow. Not a bootlicker.

Not a bootlicker. We don't really like to tell the upper class what to... We don't like when the upper class tells us what to do. People who do shit for themselves. Yeah. People who don't rely on the help of... People who hunt treasure. Yes.

Yes. Yes. And surf and smoke weed. Yeah. Oh. So I'm a pogue.'m a poke no no no you're a kook you're bro you're a fucking kook bro you live in brooklyn which automatically makes you a kook are you serious yeah you're a fucking kook are you kidding me i grinded my way up from hell's kitchen no you're goofy as fuck you're a fucking kook. You never even lived in Hell's Kitchen. Bro, you never lived in Bushwick, bro.

I saw a Bushwick apartment this weekend, virtually, from Tyler Miller. Let's just say you Bushwick boys have it easy. Oh, really, bro? Yeah. Dude's apartment is triple the size of mine, and he's paying a quarter of what I pay. He makes more than you though

And makes more than me probably That's why you live out, well not when you fucking counter in your Your uh Stand up I'm making like $100,000 a year just from stand up right now Your little show ring that you're running Your weekly residency that you have They pay me $10k just to make an appearance at the show

That's the show up Well Bitcoin's been fucking on the schneid though You don't know shit about that crypto shit bro They pay me 10K just to make an appearance at the show. That's to show up. Which is nice. Yeah. Well, Bitcoin's been fucking on the schneid, though. You don't know shit about that crypto shit, bro. They're paying me in pen stock. Who you want to talk about on the schneid? Bro, you can't say that. You're pen's top guy.

Only I'm allowed to make jokes about pen. I looked at my net worth website, and then I fucking, as the pen stock was sliding, I watched it go down like a fucking stock counter. Who's net worth? Yours? As pen stock went down. You have pen stock? Of course, bro. Oh, yeah. You're a kook, dude.

You can't even call yourself a poe. You got equity? What, bro? How am I a kook? This podcast is over. You're a fucking kook, bro. You're a kook. You're're a kook you're the biggest man how am i suck up to the man you have an agent you have a whoa no i don't

don't put words in my mouth did you have to cut that oh i'm fucking uh independent fucking weed smoker over here And you're fucking I don't have equity in shit Self made bro I picked myself up my fucking I don't have equity in anything but myself Yeah bro but you probably have a fucking LLC bro I don't have shit You're in the fucking suits pocket bro

I have $20 in my bank account right now You're probably going to fucking Barclay Prime You're probably going to goddamn Catch Steak with the fucking You're going to catch steak Barclay Prime. You're probably going to goddamn catch steak with the fucking... You're going to catch steak with the CEO of Penn. I'm trying to. Horses play, horses play. That's you and the Penn guys

sucking each other off. Yeah. Well, fucking you and your agents are fucking... Bro, we're going to take over the goddamn world. You and your agents are. I wish you guys a bunch of fucking luck. You know who my agent is?

Francis. Francis Ellis. Is he actually? He was on the show this week. I saw that. Why'd you put him so low on the flyer? I don't know. He had one last. Yeah. Oh,? I don't know. He headlined.

Oh, really? Right after me. He crushed. Always does. He talks about you in his set. Yeah, he almost just gives me. What did he say about you? He said, he was like, I got fired from Barstool. And he's like, Lil Sass probably will be too soon.

I don't remember exactly what he said. But it's funny because it's true. It was jokes. It's fucking true, bro. I know. You're on the schneid. You're on the way out of here. I know.

How did O'Malley do? Good. I only saw like half of her set. Really? I was talking to those guys upstairs about you. The dudes who I knew? I kind of went like full Emin&M mode before the show. Just look at yourself in the mirror.

I was sitting upstairs by myself at the bar. No one was up there. Because everyone else was downstairs watching the show. And I was just going over my ciphers. Mom's spaghetti. And his weak arms are heavy. Bro, you don't go over a cipher, bro. A cipher's a thing that you get caught in, bro. You don't do stand-up, which still doesn't make sense. You're like, I don't go over a cipher, bro. A cipher is a thing that you get caught in, bro.

You don't do stand up, which still doesn't make sense. You're like, I don't want to memorize anything. Yeah, I think you just go up and do new shit every time. What do you mean you don't want to memorize anything? You literally did battle rapping, which is like a thousand words in a second. It is a lot of memorization, but I don't think memorization was my... That's what you told me. It is?

Yeah. Unless you lie. No, I don't think memorization was my... That's what you told me. It is? Yeah. Unless you lie. No, you don't like the repetition of it. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Well, I've never repeated anything. I've never told jokes more than once. All good, bro. You can't handle raps. You can't handle raps, bro. Raps, bro. Is that why you sit on such good stories? What do you mean?

You only want to tell them once? I don't even know if I sit on good stories. I just remember what I remember. It's not like I have stories that I'm like, oh, I'm not going to fucking give them that one, bro. They're not fucking ready for that one. It's a fucking gem. I think it's just I remember what I remember. And I got stories, bro.

You're a wise man. You've been on the block a few times. Fucking... I feel like you'll just name drop some insane stories every once in a while. One time I was hanging out with Dave Chappelle and we were rap battling each other, actually, which was funny. Forgot about that. Yeah, I was 16 when that happened.

I did. That actually did actually fucking happen one time. I don't want to brag about it but uh it actually fucking did so uh no fucking big deal i that that's nice of you though i've been trying to practice gratitude and uh i've heard that uh it can be healthy for the brain so i i want you guys to know that i'm i'm grateful for you and and that those nice ass words that you just said about me saying that i have good ass stories and experience that That was nice of you, Owen and Sass. That was also nice of you for thinking that I could even do stand up

with my fucking dumb ass. What were some of O'Malley's jokes? I could do the whole set. Why don't you spoil them? And what happens if you get into Montreal? I have to move there. For real?

I'm assuming I didn't get the show either why because they start shooting in like two weeks oh the show show yeah oh fuck yeah is that does that leave you crestfallen bro everything does i mean i gotta i gotta like get my shit together well you hated that show no i loved it we need to I wanted that more than anything. We need to go south. South? South? Why? Because it's fucking cold as fuck up here, and we got seasonal.

No, I don't want to go south. We have fucking seasonal depression, bro. Bro, I'm like, I have more than seasonal depression. I have psychotic depression. But it has manifested itself. The walls are closing in on me. It's because you don't leave your room. Bro.

Shit's just not going well. And I got to go to the gym today and just work out the demons. You're not. I mean, how are you going to? I'm just tossing and turning all hours of the night. You're going to a kook gym too? What? I'm going to a kook gym.

Big kook gym. I like that you guys have incorporated kook into your vocabulary. Yeah. I mean, I am. I'm going to a kook gym. Big kook gym. I like that you guys have incorporated kook into your vocabularies. Yeah, I mean, I am. I'm going to a pricey gym. Wait, is kook from Outer Banks? Yeah, I think. Because I did that Temple skating video last year, and we asked the skaters, like, what is some cool-ass new slang?

And he was like, I guess kook is pretty cool. No, it probably isn't. That dude's a kook. That dude's a fucking kook. It's probably not new. It's probably been a thing for a while. No, it was like 2020.

I mean, it was like a year ago. I think it's like a surfing term. Yeah, it was a skating dude. Like, oh, that dude's a fucking kook. I think it's an extreme sports term. It's a fucking cool term. Yeah.

It sounds bad though. It sounds like a slur. It does. It does. It does. I had to look it up, actually. The hard K and the hard K at the front and the back. Yeah, I was having a conversation about this.

It's like there's a lot of things that... There's a lot of slurs that it could get close to. It's nice. The synonym for kook is queer bird. Ah. A kook. I don't even feel comfortable saying what you said. I know.

What? The Q word? Oh, a queer bird. A queer bird. I'm going to shit my pants. Yeah, right, dude. You're going to leave and never come back. No, I'll hold it.

Why don't you shit first thing in the morning? Why don't you train that little body of yours? Because I can't. I shit as soon as I come to the morning? Why don't you train that little body of yours? Because I can't. I shit as soon as I come to the office. Why? I just do. It just happens because I've already gotten up and moved around. Anxiety too.

You have the anxiety of being around people plus the metabolic processes fucking thrown into hyperdrive. Yeah. Just like the constant anxiety of being around others. Are you ready to talk about that pussy ass movie fucking licorice pizza? Dude, I never saw it. So don't say anything about it. All I know is it's just about know is it's just i'll tell you exactly it's about a kid getting some puss i mean yeah are they gonna be like one of the people that goes on tiktok and it's like

do not see this movie i walked out in tears i didn't i'm not i'm definitely saying don't see the movie why because it wasn't good? It's so bad. Really? It's got its dick so far down its throat that it's like a fucking infinity symbol. Yeah. I probably will never even watch it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll lend it to you.

Do you have a DVD player? You have the DVD? I have the DVD of it. What? Why? It's still in theaters. I have the DVD. I'll lend you the DVD is what I'm saying. Sure. Yeah. I have the DVD of it. What? Why? It's still in theaters. I have the DVD. I'll lend you the DVD is what I'm saying. Sure, yeah. I have a PlayStation I can watch on. Yeah, that's what I mean. You can just throw it on the PlayStation and watch the DVD of it.

Do you have VHS? No, I don't have the VHS, but I have a projector. I have a microfiche of it. Awesome. I also watch the... Why do you not like it? Tell us why you didn't like it. I just thought it just fucking sucked. Like what?

Just the plot. It didn't take me anywhere. One of those movies? It was kind of like a snapshot of life type of movie. Like a period piece or whatever. But it's like... I don't know. It didn't really do it for me. It's like, I like Haim.

I like, what's his name? I have no idea. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah. Philip Seymour Hoffman's son is in it. Yeah. And the lead actress is in Haim. Is he the one that's getting groomed?

Yes. And Haim is the one doing the grooming. You know Haim? The singer woman? The girl. The three singer women? Yeah. I heard that he wasn't the kid actually like 17 when they filmed the movie.

I think he was. Weird. Yeah. Yeah. It is. I don't know how that's legal. I think that, I mean. How is that allowed?

I mean, Hollywood. Aren't they like fucking in the movie? I think that there used to be a thing in Hollywood where like if your parents supervised, like you could be like naked in movies. And I think that they use that loophole and like there's underage girls in like movies from like the 50s 60s 70s i'm pretty sure that that fucking happens yeah that's weird i mean i probably won't i probably won't watch it i don't really want to yeah it's just putting money in pedophiles pockets yeah it's like it's weird i thought like so i thought that everyone was like weirded out by it

because like it's about like a kid getting groomed. But I know that the kid was actually 17 in real life in the movie. And the girl's like 30. Yeah, 28. Yeah, or something like that. Super weird. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense. That shit's not right.

It just doesn't make sense. It's like Hollywood's like... Like they could just use an 18-year-old. Or they got in trouble for pedophilia a couple years ago and like it was bad and they kind of had to back away from it and they started making like movies about the underground railroad now they're trying to like dip their toe back into pedophilia again to kind of see if like everybody's cool with it and uh you know i'm not cool with it all right i'm not fucking cool with it plus the movie just wasn't good like if it's a good ass pedophile movie like like, sure.

I'll fucking watch it. Call Me By Your Name was awesome. Yeah. But Call Me By Your Name, like, at least Timothee Chalamet was over 18. But wasn't he playing a character that was under 18? I think, yeah. Like, why are they always trying to make this movie? Why are they always trying to make this movie?

Like, there's not a fucking billion stories. There's not a billion other stories. I don't know. It's weird. If it's a love story, it could be just as good if they were a normal age. There's nothing about the movie that necessitated him being in high school. In

Call Me By Your Name or in Licorice Pizza? In Licorice Pizza. Nothing. Yeah. So weird. I don't understand it. Is it for the... That's going to be something that that kid's gonna look back on and like sue the fuck out of whatever no but i probably got him signed they probably got locked in oh yeah they got him on the lifetime brainwashed fucking i also watched uh king richard the fucking serena williams movie oh that looks good it's good is that with will smith will smith how was that? Fucking Will Smith, bro.

He's the best. How did you get this movie? I have the DVD of it. You definitely, like, do. I do. When your, like, famous friends sent you the DVDs? No, just from the theater. From being in the Writers Guild, they gave you the DVDs.

No way. Yes. Why no way? Dude. Fuck you. Why no way? How. Fuck you. Why no way? How do I get in the Writers Guild? It's so easy. You gotta write. I write all the time.

Just write for a show. It's literally so easy and there's no barrier of entry once you send it in forever. And they send you weekly checks? I mean, for your show, they have a good union. So the show will get you fucking checks from time to time. But if your show is off the air, like the shows I write for aren't airing anymore.

So I don't get like checks anymore from them. But there was a time when they were being syndicated. And then from time to time, there'd be a nice check. There was probably like five times your yearly salary. That's awesome. No, it wasn't. There were never that much. And sometimes the check would be like 81 cents.

Really? Yeah. It'd be fucked. Like, why even send the check? Yeah. You'd cash it anyway? But I like, yeah, oh yeah. Of course you got to check.

Every penny counts. Especially in this industry, man. This shit is cutthroat. I'm thankful for every fucking chance that I get. You can't be afraid to save up. Oh, no way, bro. I'm trying to buy a fucking house, bro. You trying to buy a house, bro?

I am, yes. Where at? Why not go south, bro? Why are you so scared of going south? Let's go to Delaware, bro. It's tax-free. Well, let's take a break real quick and let's hop into MeUndies.

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I was doing the ad. Frank the Tank. I know. I loved that video. I know. He's the best. he's just the best i know he uh did he win any money for that he won the fucking satisfaction of having an arena chant his name like maximus decimus i know but gladiator bro i feel like if he did that at like a pro hockey game he would have won like 50 million dollars yeah well no hockey is like the poorest sport i'm pretty sure no it's not who is making money off hockey all of the players they make compared to other pro athletes they make

fucking they're basically impoverished union workers make more the writers guild the writers guild makes more than fucking nhl players okay first of all not true i would say what are the highest paid sports baseball basketballball? Basketball? Basketball, I think, is number one. And then baseball and football both. And then hockey. Yeah, it's the fourth highest paying sport. Yeah, but what about lacrosse and soccer?

Those aren't real sports, though. And soccer probably pays more. No, I mean, I think soccer plays more depending on what team you play on. Right. And at the highest level, it's got to pay more. like the highest level soccer players in the world yeah get paid more than the highest level of hockey players hockey players are in the fucking that's why there's so much suey going on bro no the hockey players make a lot of money i would know they do i almost went to the league i don't think you did who's a hockey player that's rich even that you know

fucking all the guys have to come and get jobs at Barstool. If they made enough money. Biz Nasty. Biz Nasty is fucking. He's filthy rich, bro. He works six jobs. Biz Nasty works like a single mom. Sidney Crosby.

Sidney Crosby? Sidney Crosby, is that the girl? No, Sidney Crosby's the best player. Oh, Sidney Crosby. Yeah, yeah, Sidney Crosby. Sidney Crosby's... Is that the girl? No, Sidney Crosby's the best player. Oh, Sidney Crosby. Yeah, yeah, Sidney Crosby. Tyler Sagan. Does he make a lot of money? Yeah, I've seen him before.

How do you know he makes a lot of money? I saw him driving on the highway and he was in like a nice-ass car. That's probably bullshit, though. It's probably a rental. What do you got, Owen?

Owen just perked up. Oh, yeah, a nice car, so... Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's some fucking bullshit bro You wouldn't get it Yeah I mean Since you never played

I never wanted to be a hockey player Cause I know that those dudes Fucking It's really a labor of love That's awesome So like when you were like In kindergarten You like were picking

What sports Sports to play Definitely Based off how much money The professionals made And I extrapolated forward That's kook That's definition kook behavior.

How is that, bro? You're a capitalist. You only think about money. I fucking smoke weed, bro. I'm in it for the art. Hit this weed then. No. Hit this weed.

No. You're a kook. Bro, pogues don't pressure each other into smoking weed. Sounds like a lot of rules, bro. Sounds like you're kind of in kook territory. Dude, if John B even saw me here sitting next to you, he would put a fucking gun to my head. Yeah of rules, bro. Sounds like you're kind of in kook territory. Dude, if John B even saw me here sitting next to you, he would put a fucking gun to my head. Yeah, right, bro.

John B would fucking knob me off, bro. He'd see how I perled up a fucking fatty. He'd want to do some fucking lines with me. John B would beat your ass. Yeah, right, bro. He's older than you. I supplied to John B. You and John B are like the same age.

How old is John B? Like 30-something. Fuck. So B's on his way out. And he pays a 16-year-old. Does he really? Yeah. Damn, bro.

That must feel so good to get that role. I know. There's a new lease on life. I've still got it. Yeah. I'm actually hot as fucking young as fuck now. Yeah. Now I'm going to be able to fuck an 18-year-old on camera.

Yeah, it's fucked up. There's so much fucking penis in Euphoria, bro. I can't get it out of my head. I didn't know it was like that crazy of a nudity show. There's a hard dick in the first scene. Really? A hard dick. And it stays hard through like five different shots.

I couldn't stop thinking about how like... Was the guy like, did they have to give him like... It must have been a prosthetic. They must have had to give him some Roman swipes. It was probably some Roman swipes too, but I mean, yeah, it was a very highly charged scene, but... You thought it was fake? The penis must have been fake. There's no way that under the stress of what happens in that scene that he could have actually stayed hard.

No, I don't know how you could even get hard like that for like a crew of people well some people do it there's literally porn stars yeah that's different though how some of those people wind up being real actors you know sylvester salone used to be in porn because euphoria is like the biggest it's like probably one of the biggest shows out right now behind joe rogan of course yeah euphoria is society's answer to joe rogan yeah yeah they're clapping back they really are it's like oh you're gonna fucking say all this shit fuck you rogan hates at an all-time high right now dude 11 million views an episode is that what he's doing now yeah fuck bro in 2021 what happened to your boy Tim Dillon bro? Nothing What do you mean?

I thought he was going to come on the pod I think he's been on tour I think Rogan came on his pod did he? No he went on Rogan's Why doesn't Rogan ever go on anybody else's pods bro? Because why would he? He has no reason to He has the talk he has the biggest show in the world that's a fucking fact bro it's crazy you're right his show does like

eight million more views per episode than tucker carlson does why why are you why why was tucker carlson because he's the second biggest show in the world i don't know if it's all shows. It might just be one man shows. What about fucking part of my take, bro? What about pizza? I laugh at that.

I laugh at that. What about pizza reviews, bro? No, part of my take is honestly probably up there. What about BFFs, bro? No, not close. What about Million Dollar Chef game? Probably pretty close.

11 million views an episode. He does like five episodes a week. Yeah. That is insane. What's he trying to prove, bro? That he's the greatest. Yeah, he could just die at any time. Dude, we could literally devote 40 hours a week to this podcast and we would never come close to that, many listeners.

I don't think so. You're a believer? I'm a believer. Dude, someone has to believe first. I've been saying it the whole time, especially with the fucking birds in the playoffs, dude. You know the Eagles are in the fucking playoffs right now. Someone's got to believe. Well, how are the Lions doing?

That's all I really care about. Why? Oh, the Nittany Lions. No, Penn State Lions. Yeah. Is that what they're called? Penn State Nittany Lions? The Nittany Lions?

Yeah. Mount Nittany is the Gross The local mountain But How are they doing I mean the season's over Fucking shit

I thought you were an Eagles fan Or are you a Patriots fan I'm a Patriots fan That's fucking whack I'm actually just I'm just an Antonio Brown fan Now please After he fucking popped his shirt off

And was just fucking the night before. Did you read them text messages? No. He was just fucking some lady. The lady who licked the toilet seat who tried to get Dave in trouble. No, really? Yeah, he had her to his hotel room the night before. No way. And then she got COVID and she was like, you better get your whole team

checked. She was like holding up the COVID test like a lollipop. No way. The way the COVID test come on lollipop no way the way the covid test like come on a stick now it does make them look a little bit tasty it does make it look like you could get him at the doctor's office as after you left if you're a good boy but yeah he was fucking that girl did you do an at-home test yeah did you go in i haven't gone in but i'm not gonna go in going easy to make it makes you think how many cases there actually are because you don't register that. I think you're supposed to scan the QR code and say if you're positive, but I don't think anyone does that.

Bro, you're a kook. That's some kook behavior, bro. Why? Let me register to the government. No, I said I don't do it. Yeah, but you're saying you're supposed to do this, bro. I didn't even know you're supposed to do that, bro. Dude, pokes want what's best for everybody.

And if that means slowing down the spread of COVID, call me crazy. So which one are you, bro? I'm a poke for life. I don't think you are. Dude, you've never even seen the show. So? You've never seen fucking Euphoria. You don't know shit about Sarah Cameron.

But somehow you act like you could talk about what a hard dick is. Talk about a hard dick on camera. You've never seen licorice pizza and somehow you're the expert on pedophilia trying to think of whatever you're over here talking about hard dick you're over here talking about hard dick in a pedophile movie

check yourself before you wreck yourself brother god damn you're a fucking kook but I'm I'm interested in I'm interested in taking this podcast

to new levels I don't know if it's 40 hours a week but I would go a week where we did a show every day or something I would do that live

just one just one week where we do some like like a blowout week like something to fucking ramp shit up rivalry week

I would do a blowout week. 24-7 pod. I would take it to the next level. I don't think I would have that in me. But think about, we could probably do something on the charts if we had something every day for like five straight days, then like the consistency of it being on the charts

would elevate the shit. You don't think people wouldn't listen if it was every day? I think that if we did it once, we could, like if we did it for a week, and then got some guests in there or something like that, or like made it an event, I think that we could manipulate the fucking system.

I'm just trying to manipulate the system, bro. Yeah, me too. Kook shit. Yeah, kook shit, bro. I'm trying to fucking write my own rules, bro. That's not kook shit. That's poke shit. You're, oh yeah, fuck, fuck. I'm a kook i'm a kook oh i meant to say pogue shit though i know you walked me into that one kooks don't manipulate

the system bro they play by the rules pogues we don't have rules that's not good there's nothing more dangerous than a man with a set of rules yeah Yeah. I don't play by any rules. I'm fucking fluid. Me too. No, you're not, bro. Yeah. Have you watched the Bruce Lee documentary? No. So you have no idea how to be water.

Me, though. I can be water. Huh? I said I'm jittery. Because you just smashed that shit. Yeah, I know. Was that your new sponsored drink? Rain?

No, I used to drink those all the time. I just got one. It's only a matter of time before you get sponsored, though. What do I know. Was that your new sponsored drink? Rain? No, I used to drink those all the time. I just got one. It's only a matter of time before you get sponsored, though. What do you think of Bryce Hall's new fashion? I haven't seen it. Oh, fuck, bro. He's fashionable now. I kind of stepped away from him after he threatened to kill me multiple times. You know who he's going at now? Who? This afternoon

he's calling out the Island Boys for a two-on-one rough and rowdy. Two-on-one? And I think it's going to work. Dude, yeah. I don't know why I think that, but I have a feeling it's going to work. Has he talked to Barstool about that? It's this afternoon.

Who knows? It'll be out by the time we're posting this. Who knows if he's talked to Barstool? I assume you do? I don't know if he's Dr. Barstool. But I think that there would be some separation between the two. But it's funny that he went from you to the Island Boys. He's just desperate to get on Rough and Rowdy.

I know. Yeah, that's a huge dub for you. It is. Bro, I didn't want to go on Rough and Rowdy. But I'm saying... Get my ass beat. It puts you in the same class as them, though. Like, he's going after them.

He's going after you. No, he's just going after anyone. They needed two Caribbean boys to fill your shoes. Exactly. That's big. Yo, bro, you're two island boys. You're worth two island boys. Maybe he saw how tall I was when he came in.

He definitely did. Your shoulder presents a big. With his 5'6 ass. 5'5 and a quarter. Your shoulder presents as big. With his 5'6 ass. 5'5 and a quarter. We're definitely Jim Rome laughing for all of 2022.

I don't know who that is. Just throw around the laugh though. No. You just tried to. It was funny at first and then you just turned it into some kook shit. Bro, you're fucking mercurial, bro. Mercury's out of retrograde though by now, right? Yeah some it's some new shit right i fucking need it out i'm like turning to god these days i've been turning to god i got like i got like crystals in my room and shit now

from my mom really she's like these will make your vibes better i've been watching crystal extraction videos there's got to be something to crystals my mom gave me one She's like, these will make your vibes better. I've been watching crystal extraction videos. There's gotta be something to crystals. My mom gave me one, and she was like, take this with you to New York. It'll make you, it'll cure your vibes. Have you been holding it? Keep it right next to my bed. Do you touch it ever? Yeah. What's the vibration like?

There isn't one. Am I supposed to feel one? Fuck. Or you're supposed to, like, feel a vibration in you, or there's supposed to be some kind of synchronicity between... I don't think, I think you're supposed to just keep it Fuck. Or you're supposed to feel a vibration in you? Or there's supposed to be some kind of synchronicity between you? I think you're supposed to just keep it there. No, the results are supposed to be very noticeable. Right away. Almost instant?

Yeah. It's supposed to pop up like those two lines on that test. Dude, the positive COVID test is so quick. Yeah, instant. It's instant. Immediate. You breathe on that thing and it pops up. I didn't realize that two lines is like a pregnancy test.

Yeah, yeah. It's like the exact same or like appearance. In a pregnancy test, you just piss on it, right? Yeah, which is crazy. Are babies piss? Yeah, it's kind of weird. How do you not like piss on your hands when you do that? You must.

Or maybe it's like a stick. You just stick your, a stick. You stick the stick under your vagina. Yeah, I think that is what you do. You see who Ye is fucking? Oh yeah, Julia Fox. You saw them, that they did a photo shoot in Carbone. No, did you see like Julia Fox's like paintings,

all that are just like all made out of her own blood? Yeah. That's... Apparently she's like psycho. She's one of... Like period blood? She's one of those? I don't know.

Because that is like a thing. Yeah, it was like art exhibits with her own blood. Period? I don't know if they were menstrual. Kind of pointless to not be menstrual. Also could just not be her blood. Yeah, pretty easily. She is the 1% of the 1%.

She could be on that Biden diet and just cracking open the fucking necks of the youth. Yeah. Fucking suckling blood from there. You only get like 8 to 10 ounces out of each kid. Yeah, it's crazy.

That's why they have to go through so many. It's so wasteful. You guys have to throw the kids out. If it was just like, this is Julia Fox's painting of a child with child's blood. No one knows where she got the blood it's the blood of children probably some north korean shit that's why we can't do

shit about north korea because fucking china relies on their blood yeah and like were you just saying how kanye is like making julia fox like into kim kardashian uh no but sure they look identical now they're wearing like he dressed yeah he's wearing the exact same outfits really it's crazy they said for her second date he got her like a fucking suite like a uh like a suite of like all dresses like she could basically shop like a personal shopper brought all the shit to her and then they went out to carbone and they staged a photo shoot and uh she said that everybody in the restaurant was cheering and clapping for her

and then they showed video from the restaurant and it was so fucking quiet nobody was fucking cheering nobody was clapping she's not that like famous but you're gonna say she's not that hot she's not that hot bro I don't know what Ye's doing bro I expected after Uncut Gems she would become like an A-list celebrity

but she really didn't takes a couple I expected after Uncut Gems she would become an A-list celebrity. She really didn't. Takes a couple. She dated Pete Davidson, right? No. I don't think so. That would be seriously fucked up. I thought it was tit for tat.

That would be hilarious. That's what I thought it was. Look it up. I don't think it was though. I don't know. Pete definitely fucked her. Pete fucks. No, look it up. I don't think it was, though. I don't know. Pete definitely fucked her. Pete fucks. Oh, yeah, of course. He probably just gets fucking transactional handjobs in the back of an Escalade in fucking Midtown. Over ear headphones.

Box mod vape. Well, fucking right outside of 30 Rock. He probably just runs down and gets jerked off like a weed delivery. Just gets fucking, puts his dick in a paper bag and gets jerked off. I wonder how long he'll stay at SNL. Wonder how long you'll stay at Barstool, bro. Your paths are inexorably linked. No.

I'm never going to go to SNL, bro. Fucking never. All right, should we wrap it up? Let me just look up inexorable. I got a shit so bad. How long have we been doing this? Over an hour 15. That's GTFO. Impossible to stop

or prevent. Holy fuck. Yo, but should we at least do another episode this week? We were such pussies last week saying that we had to. Yeah. But it was just it was just a matter of circumstance. Yeah. I'm Diz. You're a fucking kook bro. Diz. I'm Diz. What are you kook bro Diz I'm Diz

what are you fucking Snoop Dogg in 2004 bro I'm down to do two this week for shizzle I'm Dizzle for shizzle I'm Dizzle alright bro

let's do two this week no guests Mikey Podcast just came in and we were like should we start getting guests and he was like

nah nah no guests bro just us chewing the fucking fat yeah exactly fuck yes bro alright thank you for listening we'll see you guys next

or we'll see you guys later this week alright peace