Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 4 - ISIS

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

-- In this emergency pod drop, Sas & Rone discuss current events such as: the Call Her Daddy/Spotify deal, getting swallowed whole by a whale, and of course, ISIS.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Test. Oh, there we go. There we go. Now we're down. Testing, testing, testing.

Joan testing. Test, test, test. Testing. All right. It is Thursday, June 17th, 2021. Episode four of Son of a Boy Dad podcast, now available on Spotify and Apple podcasts. Do you think that it was smart to say the date, even though it'll be impossible for any one person to be listening on that date? Yeah, because maybe if we're talking about any current events.

Oh, like a historical five. I actually had a current event that i wanted to talk about one specific one you brought a show and tell i did this guy in cape cod claims to have been swallowed uh he is a lobster diver and he claims to have been swallowed by a whale and then broke out of its mouth and lived and was completely uns... Like, he wasn't injured at all. The, uh... Did you... So, did you read the article

or did you read the headline? I read the headline. Hold on, I'm trying to pull it up. I read the headline, but the guy... Everyone says that he's lying, but all the fishermen are like he's what town is he from or what state is he from cape cod is that a state what state's cape cod in massachusetts so is he just a drunk sunburnt uh massachusetts asshole i don't know because he's

like his like uh boat mates or whatever you call them um all say he's a normal guy they were like they were like he'd have to be completely crazy to make that up and he's not crazy a direct quote says i was in his closed mouth for about 30 to 40 seconds before he rose to the surface and spit me out so this came launching out of its mouth it just got like loogie that like you think that he hawked him i i don't know can whales hawk imagine being inside a whale's mouth the one thing the one distinction is that he didn't get swallowed he was only in the in the whale's mouth they said he was just like in the whale's mouth for did you hear about this already yeah so i saw the article yeah i i don't even did people even

blog it i don't even know but i saw article, read the entire thing because I was like fucking swallowed. Yeah. So what did you think? I think that it – I guess I never even thought about it being fake. That's how trusting of a guy I am. That's how trusting of a person I am that I didn't even consider it being fake. Do you think it's fake? Do you think that this guy is just fucking lying?

I don't know. I mean getting swallowed by a uh whale is pretty crazy but the fact he said it was a pretty crazy thing to come up with yourself too but it's like maybe he like got hit by the whale or something and then he like went maybe he like blacked out and then like he thinks that he got swallowed by it right like i don't know how i mean that's like finding nemo don't they get swallowed they don't get swallowed by a whale it's a story in the bible i'm pretty sure oh yeah jonah and the whale he like that's like one of the more famous stories that they they jammed in the bible yeah the guy

that lives in the whales and the wit lives inside the whale and i think that guy got spit out by the whale yeah no one will ever admit to getting shit out by the whale never never you never want to no one's like i went through the entire digestive tract of the whale and got shit out. Because I don't think they, I mean, unless it's a killer whale, I think it was a beluga whale, right? Or no, it was a humpback whale. How big are those? Big.

Yeah? Yeah. And I think they don't have like real teeth. I think they have like, what do their teeth look like, humpback whale? Like stumps of wood. No, I think it's like. They look like George Washington's what do their teeth look like humpback whale like stumps of wood no i think it's like they look like george washington smile their teeth no this is what their teeth look like they're not they're like it's a picture of them describe them look at this it's like hair oh yeah it is like it's like a toothbrush yeah it's like the bristles bristle they got bristle teeth so he

was just stuck in that it's like being stuck in a car wash yeah literally just like the spaghetti fucking things that dangle down the linguine in the car wash yeah what the fuck i mean i believe him dude did you see at the end of the one article he had been in like a plane crash and like four like he was with four other people and they got stuck in the desert for like or on like a desert island for like four days this guy just keeps on having crazy ass shit happen to him yeah and they found him on the desert island yeah i mean now now it sounds less believable honestly but you don't think that two crazy things could happen to one dude in his in their life i mean i guess a a a plane crash isn't like the craziest thing i mean it is but it's like that's that's more believable than the fucking getting swallowed by a whale i mean i believe him i believe him i'm from the cape and we used to always get swallowed by whales when we were younger

well i'm not from the cape i'm from massachusetts my mom's i knew you were lying dude i knew you were fucking lying about something my mom's from massachusetts she was swallowed by a whale her sisters were all swallowed by whales it just goes in the family yeah you just get swallowed up and then they just spit you right back out it's like we used to try and get swallowed because it's like you when they shoot you back out you go like 30 feet up in the air like it's like a poor person's water park yeah yeah it's like well you can't afford to go to lake wallen pop pack this summer but like we can like jam you in a whale's mouth and they'll fucking hawk you 30 yards in the ocean. Look at the size of this thing's tongue.

Ew. That's the size of a human. That tongue is massive. Yeah. Dude, imagine those. Imagine getting sucked by one of those things. Oh, my God. Imagine one of those whales eating your pussy.

Holy fuck. I would love it be a disaster imagine trying to obliterate some puss try to french kiss a whale and just getting the shit beat out of you just getting dragged by fucking you just fall in love with the whale the uh the killer whales are scary i'm not a big killer whale person. But those are only out in the Arctic. I don't have the whales classified in my mind. I don't know all the whales. You're not a big whale guy? I know the one with the fucking...

Is that the killer whale? The killer whale are the black and white ones. That's Tilikum. You never watched that fucking movie? Oh, bro. As a dockhead, which I know you're a known dockhead. But I'm not like a dockhead. I'm more into like the serial killer docks this is like the serial killer of whales oh really bro

the killer whale he yes his name's tilikum the killer the killer like till i come killer whales have big ass teeth and they will use them and they will use you're not getting stuck in those teeth look at these things it's just like it's just like a hundred little knives and they're angry too and i think they're like sexually charged that's a pretty cool ass picture we don't want to talk too many pictures though but the listeners this one is worth imagine a whale just in its prime sailing above the ocean it and it's aerodynamic very under aerodynamic it looks like a slicing through the air it's just like a hurtling they look like dolphins they look very happy but deep down they're not they're angry and they're horny and they will fuck you and kill you

i mean you know dolphins are horny as hell yeah dolphins are the horniest ones of all that's why they're so friendly but uh yeah because they're they're really just hitting on you. Because they're just trying to fuck you, yeah. They're just trying to get in your pants. Yeah. But the killer whales are a nasty brand of horny. Yeah. They're brooding in horny. Yeah. Deep at the bottom of the ocean.

They're like, in the cell horny. You don't want to be around. They'll, like, mistake you diving as a date. Yeah. They'll, like, oh, I thought you were giving me the signs. It's like, no, dude, I was just swimming in the ocean. Killer whales are like the old men under OnlyFansGirl's Twitter account. Delicious.

Oh my God, delicious boobies. I would do so many things for you And then just like Put in their phone number Yeah That would be such a funny Please contact me Reach out to me That's a crazy idea

Is just commenting your phone number On someone's post It might be worth Getting another phone line Just so you could Just so you could do that When I was younger Me and my cousin

Would go on Like Justin Bieber Or Harry Styles Instagram And we would comment And be like Why I have Harry Styles Phone number, and we would comment and be like, well, I have Harry Styles' phone number. And then we would leave our own phone number. And then we'd have people call us, and we'd pretend to be like Justin Bieber. And people would be going crazy. What was the voice you used to be Justin Bieber?

We would probably just use our normal-ass voices. Because that is the best way. Like, yo, what's up? I thought Harry Styles Was British Like nah Just for I just pretend to be British That's all for show

That's all for show I'm just a normal kid Normal kid just like you So what's up So what are you guys doing Would people catch on to it Or they would just be like Seven year old girls

Who were so excited No they usually probably I'm assuming they all knew Is this actually Justin Bieber Because I'm gonna hang up If it's not. Don't mess with me again. I don't want to be fucked with, but I couldn't pass up on the opportunity to maybe talk to Justin Bieber.

We would do it for like hours. I don't know why we were so entertained by it. It was funny. It's super funny. We should get a fake phone line. How hard could that be? Not hard. We would just go get a burner phone from like Dwayne Reed.

Do burner phones exist like that? Yeah. You can just get them at like CVS, I think. Bro, if we're talking about current events as stories, did you see this fucking – a whole – there was like a multinational sting operation where all these criminals were taken down across every continent because they had all downloaded an app like a criminal app. Oh, really? Like WhatsApp? Yeah, like a whatsapp type of thing like an encrypted app and uh the u.s and australia had set up some kind of like dragnet and they caught every you saw that shit no i didn't hear about that but it's not surprising i mean like i don't know like everything that you do is tracked like even if you have one of those apps like there's still 100 away that the government's

gonna be able to find out about it it's just fucking crazy that there's an app that all criminals use, though. Well, I remember a while ago, I think it was ISIS was using WhatsApp. No, am I dead serious? It's like people trying to cheat on their girlfriends, people who are going overseas to talk to someone in England, and ISIS. And ISIS. Yeah, I mean, it's not surprising. I watched the Snowden movie pretty recently is it a doc or no it's a doc or no it's with that one dude really famous the guy oh yeah yeah of course the guy from 500 days of summer like joseph

gordon levitt joseph joseph gordon levitt's in it's a really good movie um but i don't know how like factual that movie is but it's just like very the way i mean it's weird movie because they make it like i don't really know what the stance like what the what the current uh politically correct stance is on snowden like i know for a while everyone hated him and now in that movie they made it out like he's some fucking hero yeah which he was kind of a badass in the movie he zagged when everyone else was zigging yeah exactly everyone was saying everyone was following the government's compliance and he said yeah i'll zag here he was kind of a badass in that movie and uh i mean it just made it seem like there's no matter what you do like the government's always gonna be able to figure out what you're doing damn does that deter you from

wanting to do bad shit or do you think that the government's just watching you like uh scroll porn hub or just like yeah i mean i don't really like look up anything bad or do anything crazy Or do you think that the government is just watching you scroll Pornhub? Yeah, I mean I don't really look up anything bad or do anything crazy. Sometimes when I watch a lot of serial killer documentaries, I feel like I'm on a list right now. Because you're just like studying? Because I'm infatuated by murder. This kid's infatuated by murder. We're going to want to keep an eye on this um but yeah like i mean it's like over a couple

weeks ago i went on like a kick and i watched like every single true crime documentary on netflix and hulu oh dude the fbi is gonna have a list of field day with your ass the cia is on your on your ass right now and like wi-fi like i'm pretty sure like your wi-fi tracks everything you do even if it's private like even if you're yeah i think i don't even know what the fuck that means like i think it all comes down to like your wi-fi i'm pretty sure they can just get everything from that damn dude i mean there's just we've come to a threshold where like there's so many people who are so much smarter at so many things than me where it's just like i i really have no hope no i mean it really doesn't matter for guys like us but uh if you're an ISIS, you're fucked.

There was a kid that I went to college with who was in ISIS. I'm dead serious. We, like, last year we were at college at DePaul, and they were like, we have a ISIS Everyone go around and say something unique about yourself. Look to your left and look to your right. By the end of college, one of you will be in ISIS. This kid in our college was like planning out.

He was like, he was communicating with ISIS in like the computer lab at college and he got like arrested. And I don't think that they expelled him. He's just like commuting from Syria. Yeah, it was like something weird. Like they were like,

like he like didn't get in as much trouble as you would have thought. I think he got in more trouble with the police than he did with the school. It was just like a slap on the wrist yeah they were like come on it was like the equivalent if like your parents caught you going on omegle what are you doing talking to strangers what are you doing being a jihadist

what's all this jihad about kids we know that one of you is in a jihad we know that one of you is in an islamist in an Islamic terrorist sect, and it's going to be way better for you if you just come forward and say who you are. Because if we have to catch you, it's going to be way worse, okay? Jordan, is it you? Son, what is this I'm hearing about you talking to ISIS? Are we going to have to set up the parent locks on your phone again? You're leaving your phone downstairs when you go to ISIS? Are we going to have to set up the parent locks on your phone again?

You're leaving your phone downstairs when you go to bed. No more ISIS. No more ISIS after 8 o'clock. That was when ISIS really became scary when it was like, oh, anyone could just join ISIS. Right. You could just hate your parents. All you had to do was have been bullied by some people in your town. It became kind of like a

punk rock edgy thing for a bit. It's pop punk you could like shop at like hot topic or yeah or you could join us yeah like if you listen to nirvana there was like a i think it was a statistic that came out it's like a 70 chance you're in isis for a while you knew if you just had any nirvana apparel yeah if you had a nirvana t-shirt yeah you're gonna probably wind up in isis i was in it for a bit i remember walking down the street and i was wearing my uh mtv unplugged nirvana shirt and i saw a guy with the just the traditional smiley face nirvana shirt and i was like glad to see a fellow uh supporter really i thought that if you just saw like the traditional smiley face one you'd be like this shit is mainstream i'm joining isis yeah yeah yeah this shit isn't hardcore anymore

like that pussy's doing it. I'm actually going to have to go ahead and take the next logical step and hop in on ISIS. How do you even join ISIS, though? I think it's got to be pretty easy. You rush it like a frat? I don't think there's a joining process. I think it's just like you just are like,'m going to – I don't like people in general. So I'm going to just join.

Like you just join. You don't have to – I don't think you have to communicate with anybody. I think you're just in. I might be putting myself on a watch list by Googling this right now. Are you going to Google how to join ISIS? Or just what does ISIS believe in? ISIS is the one that did the video of like the training and they're just kicking the fucking uh they're just kicking all of like the recruited cruders in the balls the recruitments the pledges

the repledge they're kicking the pledge i mean that does make it seem like you're pledging it yeah no literally they were like hazing them and then you're gonna eat brains yeah it's like don't worry dude it's actually just like chopped up spaghetti dude don't be scared we'll have you in in no time i heard that the isis parties are pretty crazy they're fucking sick that would be so funny if that's what it was like like it's just like a frat it's there's no girls there you won't get any pussy but like everything else is like fucking incredible the isis guys are just like hanging out after a long day slamming beers so it's a religious group with carefully considered beliefs they just get to the fucking chase isis they need better flyers

an overview of isis where did it cut it's just all just we're slogging through it like what i'm sure you can only access it on like the dark web have you ever been on the dark web no yeah neither have i i'm too afraid i just imagine it being like um a black screen with green writing on it i imagine it being like a yellow screen with just like very poor like i imagine it like being like going on like put locker like one of those free movie sites and it's just like a very slow a lot of ads and then there's just like ads to like buy dark web can't be fucking slow it's definitely slow the dark web is if i had to guess i would say it's very slow all the people who are the best at the internet do it you think that those dudes are gonna fucking suffer through that i don't like the dark web it freaks me out because

there's just like apparently it's not even that hard. Someone I know – someone I met one time said that they went on it once and you just had to like download some software and then you're in basically. That's all you need to do? And then you can just like buy weapons. You just download an app and you can buy weapons. That must have been how easy it was, which is probably why this like dragnet between the US and Australia. People were like, these guys are just downloading the internet.

Yeah, probably. They're trying to get on the dark web, sell, like, nuclear weapons through fucking, like, Wikipedia. I mean, anyone who has a secondary, like, texting app on their phone, it's like, you're either, A, cheating on your significant other, or B, in ISIS. significant other or be in isis weed dealers love to i mean you wouldn't know shit about this but uh weed dealers love to make you fucking download an app and be like oh i'm on this new app fucking you have to get on like what would be the reasoning as to why why you like what's wrong with text even if you're selling weed it's like i can't imagine the government's really out there like i mean i know there there are but i know things are getting like the laws are getting looser these days but i don't know i can't imagine the government's like sitting at home being like trying to crack down on some guy who's selling like a gram of weed

yeah it's always like the most crunchy like hippie people that are walking in with like strap up i mean in new york people literally walk around you and they're just like like you walk by and someone just whisper they'll be like i got a I got a gram. Or like, I'll sell you a gram. Dude, I think that that's... Has that ever happened to you? It happens to me all the time. I was walking this weekend

and some guys followed me and just going, marijuana, marijuana, marijuana. Really? Yeah. Where were you at?

I was close to Times Square. I think that depending on the neighborhood, people would fucking, I got coke, I got molly, I got fucking...

I think it just depends on where you're at. To just walk around and just sell got fucking not to just i think that's a crazy right but to just walk around and just sell it to random people yeah uh that's there's no way that that's good whatever you're buying no like if they're if they're just like selling it if they're like shoving it down your throat if they're like door-to-door salesmen of it like they're just coming up and knocking up be like man would you like to buy some cocaine i have yeah all these things like it can't be good no it's that's's baby laxatives yeah like then then like the people who go like door-to-door selling knives aren't like those aren't the best knives now or are they uh probably they're probably

pretty good they're probably up there do people still do that go door-to-door selling knives there were like a certain group of people that did it out of college that i knew that were like yeah selling knives door-to-door yeah no i think it's still a thing it's definitely still a thing because uh someone i remember when i was younger someone sold my mom like she someone did that for my mom and i remember they came into our house and like cut a penny or something with like a with like a with the scissors and that's like the big one it's always they're either like cutting a shoe or a penny or a knife is or like slicing it sideways to a can yeah which makes my skin crawl even the thought of a knife going through a can is like the most disgusting sound

the vibration and the sound yeah it's uh yeah it makes my skin crawl it's uh as uh you might see online it's my ick and that phrase is actually my ick yeah that's the dude a girl have you ever heard a girl ever uh punched a knife with a punched a can with a knife that would be like you'd tap out that's my ick have you ever seen that phrase my ick yeah it's usually is that a thing yeah i mean no i saw i started seeing it like on tiktok i saw like someone being like harry styles playing basketball is my ick is my ick apparently it's like something that someone does that like instantly turns you off of them right it's uh like or like pet peeve used to be a pet peeve yeah like i i hate the word pet peeve i hate the word my ick it makes my skin crawl yeah something like calling something your ick yeah i remember when i was like in i was in younger and

i was in uh probably like middle school or high school and uh the you know how we would like line up at the end of class to like go to our next class and uh there would be like a whiteboard with all the markers and i remember i would take the markers and i would stick them all together because you know you can like put the front make a mess or yeah yeah and my teacher was like that's my biggest pet peeve and i was like maybe try fucking relaxing that's your biggest pet peeve undo them it takes it's zero effort it actually i would be fun to undo yeah i would keep them together then they're gonna never lose them yeah yeah that's the problem people are losing markers left and right yeah or you write with it

and you have a wacky ass long marker yeah it's hilarious you suddenly the kids are engaged yeah exactly suddenly everyone would love the teacher if she was writing with like a six marker sword. Right. That's like getting out of the packet. Yeah. That's how you get out of the packet. Break out. Yeah.

Break out of the system. Yeah. Otherwise, you're just fucking writing like every other fucking teacher out there. Every other dumbass teacher. Bro, you fucking, you had me out there hating teachers, bro. I know. It's just, people are. Well, one time Jake Paul made a song about teachers.

Saying they're bad? Saying he hates teachers because they never taught him how to buy a Lamborghini. It's the song. It's like teacher. Wait, it's like teacher, teacher never taught me that. How to get a Lambo stat. Something like that. Jake Paul.

I need to look at the lyrics. It's a bank. Teacher diss? It's probably that jake paul teacher just lyrics yeah i mean at some point it was cool to hate teachers and then now we we've gotten like i feel like it's never been like uh like it's never i feel like almost every time that you're like shitting on a teacher it's usually frowned upon like unless it's like to your friends and you all know the teacher like anytime i talk to my parents about a teacher they always have like they'd never have my side because i was a shitty student but like your parents wouldn't have your side oh no never really i feel like that's some old old school shit i feel like now like kids always right it's like customers always right but like the kids always right like fuck the teacher because i

would come home and be like oh i failed the test but i would be like but everyone else failed the test too my teachers never taught me that how to deal with this or that how to make my paper stack how to get a dm back how to buy a lambo cash how to get a dm back dude we need we need classes like that teachers need to be teaching the kids what they need to do that video that video is so old it's probably like four years old i remember when that came out because like cody co did a funny video about it doing 60 in calabasas i feel like kim kardashian did you watch the logan paul mayweather fight uh yeah yeah i watched it on tiktok oh you didn't watch the whole thing no i was live on tiktok everybody was streaming it oh that's awesome i fucking we would you could scroll through who was live on tiktok and every

single live that i was i was doing some i was using just like links on my laptop and every single like 10 minutes they would just crash yeah but it was a shit i mean it was boring anyway the dude i didn't did you watch the bryce hall fight the tiktok versus youtubers one that one i only watched the highlights of i watched highlights of that one but that fight looked better than the logan paul mayweather one right people were getting punched bryce hall got his ass beat it's just fun to watch people get punched yeah the best part amateur fight the best part was it was like bryce hall got his ass beat and he went into it being like i'm gonna going to win because I'm a real fighter. And then he gets his ass beat, and he's like, I'm just so grateful for this experience.

I love everyone in the world. I'm going to buy my mom a house. It's like, dude, you can't go in being like you're the shit and then lose and try and become some fucking – I don't even know. It's easy to say you're a 40-0 in fights. You're not God. Who do you think you are, man? Hey, look right in that camera and tell him you're easy and not God. Also, getting in 40 street fights is like, what is he, a fucking crit?

Like, who gets in 40 street fights? It's definitely like arguments at Nobu is what he meant. Like, he was at like a steakhouse. He's definitely never taken a punch to the face. He was like in Boa and he shoved somebody. No one gets in 40 streethouse. He's never – he's definitely never taken a punch to the face. He was like in boa and he shoved somebody. No one gets in 40 street fights. That's absurd. But I mean it is a very – how old is he right now?

I think he's like 21. 21. I feel like I definitely had friends at 21 who were like, I've been in so many street fights. Yeah, but even then that was probably different. I've never even – I've seen like two fights ever. Like no one fights anymore. Fighting is dead. Fighting is a dead thing.

All right. That's not how people settle shit anymore. Or if you're going to fight, you do it on a pay-per-view and you get a fucking bag out of it. You don't become a pussy about it. One of my friends was telling me about like – he's from Rockaway Beach and his friends are fucking fighting all the time. They like grew up fighting. I think it depends on the neighborhood that you're in. But they've grown up.

The dudes are like – he has older friends that are in their mid-30s to 40s now. And they'll just be at dinners with a lot of people at a restaurant. And they'll just go over to each other cordially but pissed off and be like, we're going to fight. You and I are going to fight. We can't do it because everybody's families are here. And they would schedule it at a church lawn there was like there was like there was a spot we're going to this church lawn and they're gonna fucking fight with each other that's just 35 year old fucking 40 year old men fucking sometimes that's what you

need get your ass kicked it's like fight club yeah except not except like i don't know i i like i get like being a fighter. I get like Floyd Mayweather like is a fighter. But like what – like I mean also I guess like they're doing it for the money. Like Bryce Hall made $10 million just for doing the fight. Did he make $10 million? I'm pretty sure, yeah. Actually?

Yeah, I think. I think he said he made $10 million as soon as he steps in the ring. Is that true? I think so, yeah. That's kind of fire. I got a question. Why doesn't Gruen manage him? I don't know. I think he like hates Gruen. Really? Yeah, I think so, yeah. That's kind of fire. I got a question. Why doesn't Gruen manage him? I don't know.

I think he, like, hates Gruen. Really? Yeah, I think so. He's always bullying him. Yeah, I think they, like, hate each other. Why? I don't know. I don't know anything about Gruen.

I just know that he manages Josh Richards, and I know that he's, like, a fucking loser. Who? Gruen. No, he's not. Yeah, he is. How? This is being recorded right now, bro. If someone's fucking, if someone's on the dark web, it's fucking Gruen.

We need Gruen on the pod. Well, how are we going to get him on the pod if you're fucking slandering his name like that? We could get him on like that, but not if you're being like, oh, Gruen is this and Gruen is that. If we had Gruen on the pod, we would get less views than we would normally. What are you talking about, bro? That guy sucks. than we would normally no what are you talking about bro that guy sucks me and my boys uh didn't you meet earl you didn't you talk to him because you were trying to go to yeah and he stopped responding and then uh like months later we were out there and uh

and we were just like we were we were like we were waiting on like a guest to come somewhere we had like hours to kill and we started prank calling people yeah we and we prank called him we prank called gruen from like a block number and uh he he texts my boy back uh and was like uh why are you like calling me so yeah wait yeah didn't he like find your number yes i remember we texted him or we were calling him from a blocked number and he found the number. It was like, what's up, man? Like, why are you calling me? That's crazy.

So that's what I mean. Like if somebody's on the dark web or whatever, if someone knows how to do that shit. But I think that I haven't saw. He's probably got people. He's got shooters. Oh, definitely. He's got a bunch of TikTok, little TikTok shooter boys. Who is he talking to i think like when he talked to frankie when they went out there he was like talking about like tweeting from trump's account or some shit like that he was like he tweeted from trump's account he was like oh

this trump this like see this like text or this tweet from trump's account like that was me or something like that like i don't know what the fuck he's trying to say he like took credit for i mean all those guys are just like like that like the most, that has to be like the most pathetic. Like, imagine meeting someone. You're like, oh, yeah, I manage these like TikTok boys who do dances. Wrong. How is that pathetic? You get in where you fit in.

Like, if you can't be a TikTok dude that dances, why not fucking? Because he's like, how old is Groom? He's probably like, what, 30 something? No way. I think he's their age. No way. Josh Richards is like 19. I think he's probably like what 30 something no way i think he's their age no way josh richards is like 19 i think he's like 22 he looks like he's like he looks like he's at least 30 maybe 35 american business person 22 years old bitch jesus christ what do you mean you thought he was

fucking older he's a fucking he's like friends with them i mean when are they gonna all realize that like the only reason that that guy does that is just to like manipulate them out of money but he's also helping them make money yeah but i mean you need a business person in your life to like help out with this shit like i bet he helped with the the josh and dave deal no i think the josh and dave thing i think he was like a problem with it he really i'm pretty sure i don't know well i don't want to be going saying false information but why not why literally why not try to fuck dave he told dave he said if you don't fuck me then you're not getting josh he said you gotta pay the troll toll before you get in this boy's hole there's one way to get to this boy you're gonna

have to fuck me in front of this house you You're going to have to fuck the troll. Fuck me in this infinity pool. He is very Danny DeVito-esque. I think that he is. I think hearing him talk normalized him for me. You met him? No, just hearing him talk. Just hearing him talk on the phone?

Yeah, when he was like, who the fuck is calling my phone? Who is this? Jesus Christ. Show yourself. yeah when he was like who the fuck is calling my phone who is this jesus show yourself no like hearing him talking to interviews and shit i just don't like those guys i just think they all probably like not i don't know just like the guys that manage tiktokers bro it's a necessary it's necessary is it though yes what's necessary who's managing themselves? Yes. What's necessary about it? Who's managing themselves? Who's doing their own business and brand deals? I guess it's probably helpful to have a manager to get better deals and shit.

Yes. It's necessary. You can't look at it as a bad thing. It's just part of the – it's like managers are like – if you go to LA – You need a manager just to go to LA? No, not that. But I'm saying if you walk around or if you go places in – You need a manager just to go to LA? No, not that. But I'm saying if you walk around or if you go places in LA, you're going to meet people who are managers. It's like a personality type.

Like that's a certain type of personality. It's a get in where you fit in. You want to be around it. I was in Nashville. It's like you meet people who are like manager personality types. Unless we're slandering these dudes. Unless you're a slanderer. I mean I can jump on board and we can slander

Do you have a manager? No You're not fibbing with me are you? I don't want to I don't have a manager It sounds like you have a manager No bro but I know managers Managers are the best

Everyone needs a manager Are you a manager? You're a manager I come from a long line of managers alright Some of my best friends are managers My fucking dad was a manager I come from a long line of managers Alright Some of my best friends are managers My fucking dad was a manager dude Okay Don't fucking slander managers

It's an honorable job There's a lot of honor in managing 15 year old TikTokers We never talked about Jawline The movie Jawline No we did And that guy was a total fucking loser No he's not

I hated that guy He's hateable dude But you can't Like hate Bryce we're gonna need you to do this little dance Shake your little ass for us Bryce loser no he's not i get it in that guy he's hateable dude but you can't like hate bryce we're gonna need you to do this little dance shake your little ass for us bryce you're making my life so hard i need seven posts a day bryce bryce is easily the hardest tiktok oh he drives me crazy i need a double mocha frap you know that guy has an hour-long Starbucks order. And they're talking about L.A.

Oh, my God. That documentary is on Hulu, right? I think so. Or I watched it on a plane, but yeah. It's on Hulu. It's about TikTokers and Bryce Halls in it. It's about them when they're really young. And this guy's like, their manager's probably younger than Bryce Hall.

He's 15 years old, and he has a 30-ounce cup of whipped cream that he's sucking on, just, like, at all times. And they're talking about LA. They're like, the energy here is just so great. It's different out here. It's different. Everyone's famous in LA. I mean, people have 200,000 followers just for living in LA. And they drive by some, like, kid pierced up everywhere, wearing his classic like e-boy outfit and they

were like that was tanner he has 14 million followers it's like where do people get these followers or where do you get the fucking gumption to be able to fucking manage a fucking yeah artist at 14 it's like yeah i can do this good friend you know what i'll take this from here i'll manage this from here watch like watched like the Big Short or something. Yeah. What do you think he watched to make him think he could do it? Now he's the businessman. Like really?

Like do you think he watched Wolf of Wall Street and is like, I'm a business person now? Probably. Like there's no way that that kid's going to like – he's not going to like business meetings and he's not like getting the best deals and shit. They're probably like, okay, we're going to pay you this. And he's like, all right, that sounds good. Yeah. Or like he's like super sassy and like terrible to deal with or like hard to deal with that's actually probably what it is i'd love to see if i'd love to be a fly on the wall but sometimes you you need someone who's hard to deal with like if you're easy to

deal with having someone that's hard to deal with isn't bad but i don't have a manager yeah i would uh i would i would need a manager because i'm not why not just get managed by gruen like why not have i'm like if i was trying to make a deal with someone, I would like start choking up halfway through. Like literally cry? Are you crying? Like you're trying to talk to Erica and you're just like crying in her office? No, I hate doing shit like that. Did you piss yourself?

No. I didn't piss myself. i i yeah i guess that would be a good reason to have a manager i mean look at alex cooper just got that 60 mil contract and she had an agent did you see that uh when you posted the the uh fake uh little screenshot of of us getting the 60 million dollar contract yeah and then ria's dad actually thought it was real do you think that would do you think she actually her dad actually thought it was real yes that's hilarious i know that's so funny there's like bad grammar in like the headline yeah i spelled it wrong is it and i said i spelled attempting wrong and no no apostrophe

on roans oh yeah it's just like uh yeah he's just he just was hook line and sinker just 100% believed it and i think that if you like start posting that stuff enough like it will become real yeah that's actually all that manifesting is bad photoshop someone commented or someone quoted it and they were like they were like all this news about barstool podcast being worth 60 million dollars imagine how much pmT could get. It was like, well, our podcast is not worth $60 million. Not yet, at least. But it keeps on, like,

someone commented under the neighborhood eats that came out, and they're like, dude, I hope Rone's the next one to get that $60 million deal, because, like, he's been grinding so hard. It's like as if the $60 million is, like, a thing that, like, everyone gets. It's like, oh, 60 million is like a thing that like everyone gets it's like oh you're next man up like it's your turn for your 60 million 60 million dollars is so fucking crazy though yeah till you get it then you're like what's next now i imagine she's

probably just gonna i mean she could just do her three-year contract and just retire but why would you retire because Because she has $60 million. With her lifestyle? You see that pair of pants she was wearing? You think that that shit's cheap? Spending $60 million would be a hard task. I bet it wouldn't. I bet it wouldn't either, but...

You buy one expensive thing and you're out of money. Like, you buy a boat. You buy a yacht and suddenly your money's gone. She could buy a boat and still have many millions of dollars left. Plus you got to factor in – Unless she buys like a legitimate yacht. Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam is going to get his cut.

The man is going to take about half of that. You know the man. Plus her agent. You know her agent is on her ass. That's about – 10 to 20 percent at least. 10 to 20 right there. Then her publicist.

Plus she's – I mean – Do you think she has a publicist oh yeah you think cooper coop big time i'm honestly gonna miss seeing her around the office such a good girl it's just i my fondest memory is she would she would play papa shot and uh she would just fucking she was just drain go both hands it's fucking crazy she was so fucking dope she was a great presence Just drain every shot. She can go both hands. It's fucking crazy. She was so fucking dope. She was a great presence in the office. But she was always hoarding the snacks. Yeah. She would go and take fucking three Clif Bars at once.

Be like, Coop, come on. And she'd be like, what? I'm hungry. Sue me. Well, we'd laugh about it. It wasn't that serious. It wasn't that deep. She was just like a dope person to be around.

Just like dope. Like cool. Cool and like just funny. Like people will never know like the kickback session. No, she was literally – she was just like one of the guys. Literally. No. And she was like – she had like hidden talents.

Like she could whistle really good. She was like super – she was good at like video editing. We would hit the gym together all the time. Oh, yeah. She put you under the gym. She did, yeah. She got me on my routine that I'm on right now. Which is love.

Yeah. Good trainer. Yeah, just dope. Dope chick. Wish her all the best, honestly. Honestly, if she ever wants to come back. Yeah, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask because, like, I you all you'll always have a home here it is crazy that she took all the waters though what did happen to the waters she took we're

stuck sucking down like uh revival light double double strength revitalite i do feel so high hydrated right now but where are all the waters she took them she was here i walked in on monday morning and she was she had a she had like her and like her entourage and they were all just carrying out boxes of body armor apparently that was part of the deal that she just got all of them barstool yeah i i keep her merch sales and then she gets to take all of our water i saw that by the end she was just pouring them out into her purse because she didn't even want to like carry the plastic around she was like filling up suitcases with yeah with water that she was just cracking open and dumping them into and i was like what are you doing with those waters like don't you want them and she was like filling up suitcases with water that she was just cracking open and dumping them into. And I was like, what are you doing with those waters?

Like, don't you want them? And she was like, I have so much fucking money. I don't even need these waters. And I was like, holy shit. Which is crazy. Money does change somebody. I was like, you changed since the Spotify deal. This isn't the Cooper that I know.

I know. Like, let's play Papa Shot one last time. And she was like, fuck Papa Shot. Fuck it. And she doink, fuck Papa Shot. Fuck it. I was like, Alex. She doinked one of the empty water bottles off Big T's head on her way out. She spiked him from fucking point blank range. Cooper.

I was like, damn. And I thought she was kidding at first, but you could tell by the look in her eyes that she was just fucking. She had murder in her eyes. Steaming. She was so pissed off. Yeah. Great girl, though. Good girl.

Yeah, great girl. And like we said, it's always good to have her eyes. Steaming. She was so pissed off. Yeah. Great girl, though. Good girl. Yeah, great girl. And like we said, it's always good to have her back. Yeah. If she ever wants to come back, we'll be here. Door's always open. Third chair's always... Third chair's always... This is actually what we got this middle chair for right here.

This is for Alex. A mic for her at all times to just... We'll probably never use it again just in case she wants it back. Just in case she wants to walk in those doors. Dust off the cobwebs because she's the goat around here yeah she showed us that a she's a true girl boss and b what a girl boss can't like what the trajectory can be yeah she changed the game honestly i mean no no males have really succeeded like that at this company no no males have succeeded like her jenna marbles no have been able to parlay success into massive success millions and massive deals otherwise

it's almost impossible to be a male at this company it is toxic environment for males well it's just there's a glass ceiling on males yeah there's like you get to a certain point and it's like okay you're not going to make 60 million I did sort of see Cooper As like more of a mentor for me though In the way that She was always encouraging us To start this podcast And she was like

You guys are gonna be able to Like this is gonna be great You're gonna make it To the top of the charts Like I want you Like she wanted us To follow in her footsteps

She wanted us to be the first males To break through the barrier Yeah She was always coaching you Yeah Just being like Don't be afraid To go there

Don't be afraid to go there Don't be afraid to go there When she called me to tell me about the contract I broke down Oh she called you? She only texted me She called me at like 3am And she was like I have bad news And I was like don't fucking tell me

Cause you knew what it was I knew what it was Oh fuck that's such a gut punch How much did they give you? She didn't want to say, did she? 60. And I hung up. I just hung up the phone.

And did she call back or did she know to give you space? She knew to give me space. I called her the next morning and I was like, I'm happy for you. Just hate to, I'm going to miss seeing you guys around the office. It's hard for me type of thing. It's just like hard for me. Like, I thought we were building something, that type of thing. I listened to It Wasn't easy being happy for you

By the Lumineers after How does that one go again? How does it go again? I forget I just need to feel the vibe Of how sad you're feeling I was down bad I need to listen to just a second of it

I need to pay for this ad real quick. I sit by myself. Miss you, Alex Coop. Oh, man. Alex! No! No! My roommates came in, they're like, what happened? Did someone die?

I was like, she's leaving! She may as well have died. Worse. I picture a slow zoom out from your apartment as you're screaming, and the lights on your building start going up, and there's a dog howling in the street with you. No! Cooper! Yeah, I mean.

But you know I'm happy for her. That's all I can say. And God, am I rooting for her. I am. Seriously, get that 60 and turn it into 600. I want 600. I see deals for her. I see a makeup line for her.

I see a tequila brand for her. Big time. Why not have a mezcal brand for Alex Cooper? Seriously. She needs to for her. Big time. Why not have a Mezcal brand for Alex Cooper? Seriously. She needs to hire me. She does. She could probably use you as a manager. She could use, or at least as an idea guy.

She needs Gruen. If Gruen was behind that deal, that would have been at least 70 mil. Oh my god. He's a savage. That would be awesome if she became the next Ellen. Because you know how they're looking for a new Ellen right now? Yeah. She could have been it.

And when she inevitably gets canceled like later into her career, I will have some of the stories. Like about how she spiked the fucking bottle off Big T's head on the way out. It was actually toxic working for Mrs. Cooper. I remember that one time I looked her in her eyes and she said, don't look at me. And I was like, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry. She does fucking eating hot Cheetos and bitch slaps the fuck out of you. There's just a welting hot Cheeto print on the side of your face.

How dare you look at me? But no, good girl. Milf Hunter, you look at me but no good girl milf hunter he looked at me she was always there for us and uh i'll always be there for her seriously she's just oh i just have so many memories like going to the smith and just like getting brussels sprouts and getting shit faced at lunch She could drink And then coming back And recording Like nothing happened

And it's like Do people know Like We would just start talking About sucking cock And she'd be like I remember one time We were talking about

Sucking dick At the Smith At dinner And she just gets up And starts going Starts running away I'm like where are you going And she's like I have to record

She's like I just got an idea I have to record And she was like that And that, where are you going? And she's like, I have to record. She's like, I just got an idea. I have to record. And she was like that. And that was like an artist at work. And she was like that, yeah. Seeing her work at her best was like, it was watching fucking,

it was like watching Michael Jordan dribble a basketball. It was like, holy fuck. Yeah. She is great. Yeah. She's true greatness.

No, yeah. Just the way that she talked about sucking cock was it was beautiful it was the sistine chapel ceiling it was like listening to like the uh the like the audiobook of like 50 shades of gray right i feel like yeah it was just like that that raunchy but that real yeah it made me suck i cried at one of her first episodes i think it was like luck luck 9001 really yeah i cried because it just showed you what it I think it was like Luck Luck 9001. Really? Yeah, I cried. Because it just showed you what it could be.

It's like seeing a new color. Yeah. Or it's like the videos with the colorblind glasses. Oh, my God. I didn't know any of this was possible. She definitely helped me. What if I told you? No, she got me through some tough times And I'm gonna miss her And I'm gonna miss the water at the office too

I know I am I'm dehydrated to the point of passing out Which I'm okay with Because she like paid my fucking salary Oh she paid all of our salaries She put us on the back And thank god that we still have the merch agreement We pushed hard for that

Because if we didn't get the merch agreement this podcast would probably be over already oh my god our necks are on the fucking line we are first we are first on the chopping block to go there's no doubt in my mind until we get our 60 million they said if we don't hit 2,000 five-star reviews by next week we're done we're toast and they're bringing cooper back wait they said that oh fuck oh shit dude dude i mean i it's hard for me to say i don't want cooper back because i do want cooper back but also like i would step down if it meant that she could come back i would i would bow out maybe maybe i would take the 60 mil i'd say you know what i'll take it i'll get like i'll do it has to go to someone so i'll take it and then you can come and you can do son of a boy dad

i'll take over call her daddy and she would be great she would be great at it great on son of a boy dad and you've studied enough of her game tape that you could kind of give people what they need but you just can't innovate like her yeah You can't fucking – she can bend a bullet. She can bend a cock in her mouth. She has a way with – She could tie a cock in a fucking knot like someone with a cherry stem. She could just pop a cock off in her mouth and fucking have it in – she could have it in a bunny ears knot fucking just like that, like a floppy knot, not even a tight one. I mean she's – She can loop, swoop, and pull a cock with her fucking teeth.

She's a tight one. I mean, she's a... She can loop, swoop, and pull a cock with her fucking teeth. She's a girl boss. Yeah, a true girl boss. She will be missed, but good thing we still have the merch. I love that. I love that about her. What if she just stops pushing the merch? I was thinking about that. But then she doesn't get paid.

Oh, does she still get 50% or whatever? Yeah, it's not just like... I thought Barstool had 100% of the merch. And we does she still get 50% or whatever? Yeah. It's not just like – I thought Barstool had 100% of the merch. And we're just going to make her do it? Yeah. Just like make her do – Make us keep us alive. You have to push that, please.

We know that you're – We're all going to lose our jobs. And we know you're super busy. Dave's just like hat in hand, like wringing his hat. Miss Cooper, hi. I know you're really busy right now, but hear me out. We're going through hard times right now. Well, it would mean a lot to us if you would just push the merch.

You'll get nothing but one of those interns to start a podcast, get the money flowing back in. We seriously do, bro. Have you talked to many of the interns um yeah i've talked to all of them i think now really yeah what's their attitudes like you got to knock them down a couple pegs yeah definitely they're all a lot more confident than i was coming in i know which i think is a very agreed upon opinion that everyone's confident that's how it is every year all that they're all very confident yes and it's like they're kind's like they kind of have a I run the show type feel to them.

I know. And it's like you don't want to be a dickhead but you also want to take them down a peg. Yeah.

And it's almost impossible you can't have your cake and eat it too. You either you have to be a dickhead to take them down a peg or two. Yeah.

And it's tough. It's not fair. No. No. But at the same time my first time here you know fucking Big Cat brings me into

his office and kicks me in the nuts really oh my god he was feeding me fucking spaghetti i remember when big cat stapled my nuts to my leg on my first day welcome to the welcome to the fucking pirate ship welcome aboard welcome to the show man this is all we everyone we all had to do this dave did this to me first he made me like put an oreo in between my ass cheeks and walk around the office 10 times and if it fell out i had to restart it was a battery for me it was a nine volt battery between my ass cheeks yeah and he made me uh chug fucking gatorade until the electrolytes charged the battery he's like this battery better start working it was attached to a remote and until he could turn

the tv on with the remote but by the electrolytes in my blood he he like had to make me keep on chugging gatorade savage move that is a great idea i was similar to the hazing that I had when I was in ISIS. When I first joined. We had to do similar shit like that. Just fucking like chug this. Chug this fucking Everclear. Sip like a bunch of milk. Do the cinnamon challenge.

The hazing with ISIS really wasn't nearly as bad as you would think it is. They would take you up to the top of a mountain in the middle of Afghanistan and make you take a bunch of laxatives and then just give the boys one square of toilet paper and then drive away. You'd have to make it back. And it was terrible.

It was one piece of toilet paper and they said, don't walk away until there's no shit on your ass. So you'd have to wipe and then just have it sit in the sun and dry up until you had another clean wipe in the same toilet paper and some of the boys were like just ripping their shirts off and like tearing their shirts to shreds and like they got killed i mean yeah obviously it's part of they got thrown off the mountain yeah they know it's i mean

and these these guys in isis were inspecting your assholes until it it had to shine like the top of the chrysler building. There had to be a glint to your asshole. They didn't want a speck of shit on your ass. It had to be like linoleum flooring. Your asshole had to be fucking shiny as hell. But they were a cool ass dude. And they did it because they love you.

And then you get in and then you're in and it's way better. It's awesome. You get to fucking. You chill. You get to smoke. You smoke all the weed you want. Free booze. Afghani kush. And you're fucking lit. You get to fucking chill, you get to smoke all the weed you want, free booze. Afghani kush

and you're fucking lit and you're fucking enjoying yourself. You're like starting the caliphate and you're like spreading the word. It's fucking dope.

You get to travel a lot. Yeah. You get to sit in the back of the pickup truck and they don't care. They're not like sticklers for seatbelts but you do have to be

wild respectful and like if you see another terrorist you probably have to brawl out with them if you if you see another terrorist like you probably have to like brawl out with them or like it's definitely it's very similar

to like if like it's like if you saw if like K.A. saw Sigap on campus yeah exactly it's like you need to brawl it's on site with those dudes

like ISIS and Al Qaeda it's like it's on site yeah it's on site it's on fucking site you'll get fucking jumped I remember I like

Fucking sprinted across A fucking picnic table And fucking like Punched down on this Fucking Al Qaeda dude When I was fucking Young in ISIS

And fucking There was like Achilles and Troy And fucking just Knocked this dude And fucking broke his nose It's one of my first 40 street fights

That I was in Yeah yeah And I was whipping These pussy's asses. That would be awesome if Bryce Hall was like, I'm going to win this fight because I'm a real fighter. I was in ISIS. I was in ISIS for five years. So, yeah, I'm pretty good at fighting.

Yeah, I'm pretty confident. I've been in a lot of street fights. I literally was in ISIS. I've killed people before. So, yeah, I'm'm gonna beat this guy's ass he's like i'm not just about peace and love youtubers versus isis that would pull in some serious amount of money it would do crazy numbers what was what was that fight through was it just like a rant was it like trailer al jazeera i think

it's through al jaze. I don't even know that. I'm pretty sure Al Jazeera put out the pay-per-view. It might have been through Triller. I don't even know. I don't even have like – It's not through UFC, right? No, and I don't think it's through like a convention. Or was it on Showtime? Or was the Jake Paul one or Logan Paul one on fucking Showtime?

One of them was on Showtime recently. I don't know. I remember the one that was like a wild—the Jake Paul versus that wrestler one was presented by Triller, I think. Yeah. I don't know why they just want to—I mean, they're just trying to sell out fucking stadiums. What's the deal with Triller? Like, it seems like Triller's just got unlimited money, but no one uses it. Yeah, I don't understand it. Like, Josh Richards owns part of Triller. Really? Yeah, I think he has equity in Triller. unlimited money but no one uses it yeah i don't understand it like like josh richards is like owns part of triller really yeah i think he i think he has equity in trouble he was he one of

the early creators on it no i don't think he uses it at all he'll like post ads on tiktok and i'll be like go check out my videos on triller and then you go over and there's like three videos or it's just like the same ones he posts i think maybe they raised money i think companies like that can like raise money and they're just like uh we're gonna raise like eight billion dollars yeah i mean that's what happened with uh tiktok it was a it was like in asia and it was these like billion dollar corporations and they had like unlimited amounts of money and they just funneled money into tiktok for advertising and that's why i went from like zero to a thousand so fast raising money is a crazy fucking concept like i'm just

gonna ask a bunch of people for tons of money so i can do whatever the fuck i want well i mean like dave like if you're rich enough you have rich friends who will donate but like it's not even donating it's like it's like i mean raising money for charity is another crazy thing they'll probably like well we're gonna like raise money we'll give you like a share of equity or something like that like like i've got this really sweet business deal that I hope you might be interested in. Which is inevitable to work because we're going to put $400 billion into it. But then like down the road, like all the $400 billion is just like Bryce Hall like getting punched in the face with his hair flopping all over in like a fucking rainy-ass stadium where the front row is like 80 yards away. Was that at Miami?

Was that at the Dolphin Stadium too? Were both fights at the same stadium? I don't know if it was at the same stadium, but I know it was in Miami because I heard Dave talk about it. I want to read his tweets from... Bryce's? I want to read his tweets from after the fight. Yeah, pull them up. How'd T-Hold do in his fight?

How'd Holder do? I don't know I fucking hate that guy I hate all those guys so much The only one who I don't really hate Is Josh Richards Cause like he's just He retweets you

No he doesn't He reposts you He doesn't repost me But he seems like He's reposted you Did he repost you twice? Or he talked about you the one time And then reposted

Oh yeah he did I forgot about that On BFFs You did? Yeah I did. But he's obviously the chillest one. Oh, yeah, he's the GOAT. Seriously.

Yeah, yeah, he tweets at Austin McBroom after he goes, congrats at Austin McBroom. We put on a show. Let's take some shots. It's like, dude, you can't be acting buddy-buddy with this guy when you were just talking about how you're a real fighter and you're gonna be his ass yeah his ass beats too yeah you gotta embarrass because everybody can't be like it's also like i don't know logan paul and jake paul

are like they're like fighters they're like come from a wrestling background so it's like you at least know how to get punched or like hit and like you know what it feels like to get punched like from what i saw he was just getting his neck snapped back yeah yeah yeah it's like i just hate the like why i don't understand the idea of being like oh like i guess it's just the people like i mean but even logan paul and jake paul it's like at least they like make videos and like they do like they they started by making like like they're not they weren't funny but they made like comedy videos on fine like these guys literally just got famous for like being attractive and they don't do anything so why is it like they are famous for doing nothing and then all of a sudden now they're in now they're perfect they're like but they're like

that's the classic segue from being a model to being a professional fighter like that makes no sense yeah but it's like that's just i guess where the bag is i don't know it is where the bag is i'm gonna need you to stop disparaging all these dudes, though, because A, they're the homies. B, they got managies. And C, bro, I mean, I feel like you and Josh hashing stuff out. You and Bryce hashing stuff out right here on Son of a Boy Dad. I feel like that – That would be good.

That would be great. That would be great. Do you think that you would be like, I hate you to your face? No. I don't think you would. I think something happened like that because I was on the first episode of BFFs before they scrapped it. Oh, no. I was the original Brianna and then they cut me.

And I talked to Josh and I think Dave was like He used to make fun of you Oh he told Josh That you did things that made fun of him Yeah And I was like well I don't know if I really used to make fun of him And I was like but I did I did used to make fun of him hard Actually one of my most liked tweets ever

Is making fun of him So maybe we should keep making fun of him Maybe it fucks way. Maybe that's the vibes. Yeah. I mean, I like the dude Kale that fought. He was in a video with us, and he was just nice and down to earth.

Kale? Cowboy Kale? He does like... Sounds like a bitch, though. Sounds like I could beat his ass. Kale Saraj You definitely have seen him Him dancing Him dancing around

He fucking dances dude But he's fucking He's funny He's a funny dude He's like a cool dude I feel like if you met some of them They might be cool Do you also

Do you think that if you were just like uh shredded like them you wouldn't just be busting down some dances no i don't think i'm not coordinated at all but i'm saying if you could dance you're i think your coordination might just be getting in the way my coordination is deaf oh i know these guys they're funny, they are funny. And they danced at the fucking... They danced and then they went on to fight. They fought in these fights. Yeah. And this guy lost.

Really? Yeah, but I also... What was he, YouTuber or TikToker? I think he's TikToker. Oh, wow. Well, I think that we need to keep shitting on them then. Yeah, we got to shit on them. That's got to... As we find our voice as a show, shitting on them will be part of our voice.

But everyone shits on them. Like it's not like a – Even a hot take? Yeah. Because I'm just feeling like a pussy for defending them. Like everyone shits on Bryce Hall. Right. The easiest one to go at.

And that's why he does Numbies. It is why he does Numbies. More people hate him, so more people like him. Speaking of – That's fuel to the fire we need to dump this shit on youtube we need to find a way to start dumping these out on youtube i mean yeah i mean we can put them on youtube like we have the video you know the video well no one cares say it say it say you know the video like you don't have to line up the audio it just automatically

connects to the mic what yeah shut the fuck up you shut fuck up. But if we do a podcast on YouTube, I don't want to put it on my YouTube. I think we should just make a new YouTube. Make a new YouTube. Yeah. Okay. I'm fine with that. Whatever you want to do. This is your show.

I'm just here to facilitate it. It's also my show. But it's your show, and I'm just here to facilitate it. And shout out to the good folks over at Miller Lite. Great people over there. We love them. Great people over there. We love them. Great people. We love just the look of your cans and what your company is all about.

Yeah. We love your ethos. We don't really drink your shit. We don't really drink it ever. Some of us are young. I've never had it. But we love what you're all about. And shout-out to M.Lite.

And shout-out to Milwaukee. You ever been to Milwaukee, brother? I have been to Milwaukee. Yes. Milwaukee, stand up. You have a kielbasa while you're there? Where? Home of the corn.

The corn? Is there corn in Milwaukee? Big time. I thought they had more wheat up there. Oh, no. Big corn. Wheat? A lot of corn.

Really? Dude, I had no idea. Is that where Miller Lights brewed? Oh, yeah, bro. Oh, wow. I got to get out there. You didn't know that? I got to hit a brewery out there sometime.

Yes, bro. Brewery tour? You. You didn't know that? I got to hit a brewery out there sometime. Yes, bro. Brewery tour? You ever take a brewery tour? I have not. I think that they're all exactly the same. And I don't think they're interesting. I don't know why people go on brewery tours. Just you're just not a beer guy.

You are more of like a red wine guy. I'm a vinaigrette guy. Red wine vinaigrette. I just like salad dressings. That I would go on a tour of A ranch salad dressing A salad dressing Tour How is the ranch made

Yeah It has to be disgusting Yeah When you boil ranch down It has to be disgusting Yeah it's gotta be really fucking gross Your ranch on pizza boy It probably smells super strong

Oh I don't hate ranch on pizza Yeah I like it I would never order it myself But if If there was someone Ordered pizza with ranch on it I would eat it

That's some American shit, I guess. Yeah. I was talking to some Australians this past week, and they were like, we came here, and we'd never had ranch on anything. Well, you go to a pizza place in New York, and they have like 700 different types of pizza with like 100 different ingredients on them. But there's some places where there's like a fucking bucket of ranch and a ladle, and you can like ladle the fucking ranch on it. No, I would never do that it's yeah it's kind of savage yeah i would rather have it pre-poured on yeah just like drizzle yeah a little a little drizzle pull up pull that shit up let's go what are you doing

this weekend bro we getting fucked up or what bro probably yeah let's fucking pour up let's do something to get shittered let's get shittered let's probably gonna get shit faced do some lean and fucking rip some holes in my t-shirt maybe tattoo my own thigh some shit like that yeah maybe pierce my ear with the fucking like uh probably probably go visit the boys of ice from isis my boys from isis are actually coming to visit this weekend i forgot about that everybody's's coming in for my sis. I want to show you something. What is this?

Take my phone and zoom in on it. Is that our podcast? And that's my grandmom. Oh, really? That's hilarious my aunt just texted me a picture of my grandma holding up her ipad listening to this do they listen to all your stuff but i don't think so that's so funny which is just a hilarious one for them to get yeah i mean that's what happens when you're fucking running the charts. That's right. I think that they were just browsing whoever's on the top charts.

Who was ahead of us on the charts in the comedy world? Was it fucking Smartless? Oh, we're back down to four. Fuck! We were up at Trace, right? We were up at three for a bit. Up at trois. Un, deux, trois.

Right now, it is Morbid, a true crime podcast. Which, A it is morbid a true crime podcast which a wrong category okay true crime has a category so stop uh stay in your fucking lane your lane pussies so smartless which is jason bateman will arnett it's the dude from like uh what the fuck show was that arrested development whatever that dumb ass show is some bullshit stay in your fucking lane stay in your lane go back to tv pussies leave the podcasting to the purists and then it's armchair expert with dax shepherd who is on you know dax shepherd oh from punked no he was like early on in punked and then he was in some movies i think he's married to kristin so all these people are like actual celebrities yeah exactly classic capitalists i mean they're pigs trying to take from the small guys exactly i mean they like that's all so these are all famous people like that smartless armchair expert

and then behind us is office ladies which is the ladies from the office yeah imagine how sick fucking jenna fisher was she's probably pan from the office who is this she like calls her assistant yeah why don't i own this uh i don't know who this is get me their fucking dicks on a platter we have to crush these they're probably probably fucking furious. That's awesome. We need to run up the numbies on Spotify, though. We do. Why?

Are they lacking? I just don't see us on any charts on Spotify. Oh, you know the numbers. I don't know the numbies, but... I want to know the numbers bad. I'm a numbers guy. I don't think you ever will. Everyone knows I'm a numbers guy.

Che knows the numbers. He does? Yeah, he told us. He told me yesterday that our trailer got 4,000 plays. The fuck does that mean? The trailer. We'll edit this out. Whoever's editing this... Don't ever say that again.

Oh, no. You don't ever say disgusting numbers like that again. Let's see what we are on all categories. On all categories, we are 19 still on all categories. Okay, this is huge. And part of my take is sitting at 23.

Yikes. Yikes. Big cat. PFT. Hank. You're on notice. Step it up. And Firing Day is coming up this week.

You boys are on notice. You're on the chair. Seriously. Hate to be them. Those boys are definitely scrambling. I would hate to not be the top Barstool podcast right now. Yeah, now that Coop is out, I mean. Now that Coop's out, it leaves us a little more wiggle room.

Boys have to run the show now. Tough paying all your salaries. Except they do have the third biggest episode of all podcasts. We also never look at those. We don't look at the episodes. We don't do that at all. We're not within the top 200. I can't wait until you get shit-faced off of Miller Lite this weekend and you start calling up other coworkers being like, you know I pay your salary, right?

You know that you wouldn't be able to work here if it wasn't for me, right? So act accordingly and bring me a pizza from the ranch. I'm a money machine. All I do is make money for this company. I'm going to call Dave this weekend.

Let's talk raises. Let's talk money. Let's talk equity. I don't want a raise. I want equity in Penn. Just walking in with like a manila envelope with all the charts printed out

and just flopping it down on his desk right in front of him. Excel spreadsheet. Hey, look at that. Yeah. You know how to read Excel? I got it in bar graphs, line graphs, and on Excel. However your little brain can process it.

Oh, let's go. Oh, we're on comedy. We're the 125th episode and the 126th episode. There we go. Our plan worked. Put out Flood the Market. Flooded. Flood the Market with extra episodes.

Maybe we should just start putting out like 10 episodes a week. Dude, or chopping down the episodes into a bunch of micro episodes that we... Oh, we're also 55. What, bro? Yeah. It's like a dude who went into his 53 fucking dax shepherd yes we are on his ass i know i'm gonna

i'm i have such a head rush right now i feel like right after when i deadlift and i fucking stumble away from the bar and i haven't been breathing to get my form exactly right and i just stumble backwards like oh that's how much of a fucking I've been breathing to get my form exactly right, and I just stumble backwards and fucking pass out. That's how much of a fucking head rush I have from these fucking numbers.

I love charts. I'm a big numbers guy. Yes, when they're in my favor. And when they're not, I try to tell myself that it's just about making the content good. I'll do back clips. Numbers don't matter. Mental gymnastics. Numbers only matter if you're at the fucking top.

I scoff at people who follow numbers when my numbers aren't good. I'm like, oh, you care about that shit? Uh-huh. Fucking literally has no bearing on anything. Only number I care about is my inseam five inches all summy.

Yeah? No, I'm going back to elevens. Really? My one boy fucking, he started tweeting about it and it has me fucking inspired. Oh, I'm going back to 11s. Really? My one boy fucking, he started tweeting about it and it has me fucking inspired. Oh, I'm going with 7. 7? 7's the go-to. A nice go-to 7. Yeah, a nice healthy short length.

There's no need to be showing that much thigh. No one has good enough thighs for that. No, no. There's no thigh. Unless you've tattooed your own thighs. Unless you kind of have a punk thing going on and you bike a lot and you tattoo your own thighs. I don't think I'll ever have big enough thighs to be doing five inches. I wore five inches pretty recently at the gym and I was just like, I feel naked.

Yeah. Yeah. My dick's hanging out. My seven inch dog is poking out of these things. Well, that's the reason why you can't wear five inch inseam shorts if you have a... If you get boners. If you're prone to boner If your dick is bigger Than five inches

Yes If your soft penis Is longer than five inches I'm doing squats And my dick's hanging out Or you just have to Wrap it around your balls You have to like

Cinch it in a fucking Circle around your balls Tape it up to your belly button You just have to Double wrap it around your balls Like a fucking garden hose Like wrap it around A bunch of times

Like you're Tuck it back. Yeah, you have to plug it into your own asshole if you want to be able to wear shorts like that. I think I wore shorter shorts one time and went to a fucking park. I was doing a little plyometric workout, and I was just leaping around the park,

and a man was just ogling me. He sat on a park bench, and he just sexually stared at me the entire time. It was like a disgusting amount of leg I was showing and it was making this dude so horny. How short were the shorts?

Were they like three inches? It might have been. Really? They were short shorts. Why the fuck were you wearing those? I didn't know how short they were once I put them on. That's the worst.

I remember going to high school and wearing something that I wasn't comfortable wearing. Like not like, like I would wear a fin and then I'd get and I'd be like, damn, this looks horrible. And then you just got to tough it out for the rest of the day. You're, like, pulling the shorts down on your legs or some shit. Yeah.

Or, like, trying to tug at it. Or you get to school, and there's just a massive stain on your shirt or something. Yes. That you didn't catch before. Yes. And then you just got to tough it out. Or just, like, some wrinkled shit that you know that everyone's going to be roasting the entire day. There's just a massive load on your fucking shorts

Oh I used this as a fucking comrade last night didn't I Oh fuck I jizzed my shorts and forgot to change I knew I meant to do something Your shirt is just stuck to your belly button You have like caking of jizz And like peeling it off Like just r peeling it off there was a really old viral picture of this that like happened to some kid but it was on like the back of his sleeve

so he like couldn't see it and there's just a massive load on the back of his sleeve he's just like in class chilling i would kill myself taking notes or like if you didn't even see it and then you just see the video or like the picture that picture it's like a still frame on like a chive gallery or some shit you're laughing your ass off and you get to like photo 37 and you're like

what the fuck on iFuddy is that me? is that my fucking back? oh my god how long have we been recording? probably a good bit I think we're good to wrap it up

let's wrap it the fuck up alright shoutouts to my grandmom shoutouts to all of our listeners out there yeah five stars five stars subscribe on all platforms if you because i know a lot of you have spotify and apple podcasts because i do simul listen simul listen give us some spot to the computer lab at school and play it out of every single desktop the computer lab you have a computer lab no my school uh we didn't have a computer lab oh we did no we definitely had a computer lab okay well i think

every level yesterday i was gonna tweet that yesterday but then i was like does not every school have a computer lab i think they all i well i don't know what a computer labs exist anymore because everyone has computers i was thinking so then i was like that's a dumb tweet didn't tweet it really yeah that's the shit you're leaving on the bone yeah come on dog that's what I was thinking. So then I was like, that's a dumb tweet. Didn't tweet it. Really? Yeah, held back. That's the shit you're leaving on the bone? Yeah. Come on, dog. That's why you need to just be dumping it out from the son of the boy dad Twitter.

Wait, why is Nate trending? Nate. Barstool Nate? And it's Barstool Sports? 37,000 tweets? and it's barstool sports 37 000 tweets no it's probably just nate barstool sports and then there's probably like 20 other thousand it's probably like a thousand like nate diaz i mean this tweet from hank about nate has 336 i don't know i guess they're i guess they were pissed off at each other frank the tank Tank and Nate were just...

They just had to break the boys up. All right, we'll wrap it up. Thanks for listening. Oh, he's tweeting about it now. Oh, man. Oh, man. Wait, Nate is? One tweet in the last hour.

That was about as uncomfortable as I've ever been. I'm trying to figure out what just happened and how that could have been handled differently. If you watch the full video, I did my best, and I'm sorry I lost my cool for 15 seconds, but that was an impossible situation. What even happened? Did I miss something? I was trying to calm Frank down.

And then Frank lashed out at Nate, right? But what did Nate do? Nate said that Frank was being a baby. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Dave tweeted about it Yeah I saw a Dave tweet about it That's so fucking funny Oh my god

Is that you? Yeah All right? Okay? Please. You always have snide comments to me. Don't be snide! Is that you? Yeah. I was just telling him to breathe. I was just telling him to take a couple deep breaths because he was throwing air at me. Because me, you, Tommy, and Ria were all in the office by our desks watching. And then me, Ria, and Tommy are watching it on his laptop. And we look, and all of a sudden, you're in there.

And we were like, Rome was just here one second ago. I went to the back to get us this room to record. And when I got to that room, that's where they were broadcasting out of. And they were like, dude, he's melting down. I was like, my guy? And they were like, go in, go in. I sprinted in. I was like, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank.

That was so good. I don't understand what the problem was. I thought it was funny. I feel like that's something they should just walk away from that and act like nothing happened. Should we have them on to settle their beef? No, not right now. All right, next week. Next week maybe they'll be on.

All right, thanks for listening.