Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 47 - World War III (ft. Billy Football)

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 47 - World War III (ft. Billy Football) = Sas & Rone discuss the state of Barstool, and global politics with a special guest = Full episode also available on YouTube = St. Patrick's Day merch out now!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, ready? Yeah, yeah. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Thursday, or Monday.

Cat's out the bag, brother. It's Thursday. We're living in the past right now. Yep. It is a couple days before we're recording this early because Rome, once again, is bailing on the program.

That's how fucking rumors get started, bro. I'm the fucking dedicated Cal Ripken-ass one. You know who Cal Ripken was, bro? Yeah. Civil War general or some shit. Civil War hero.

Yeah, some fucking bullshit like that. So you're going out to... Storm Chasers. Storm Chasers. Yeah, by now some of them will have happened. Yeah, so what are you guys doing? You filming a whole season? Is that how it works?

It's more of just like an event, just like a week. And you pump out a bunch of videos all week? Oh, bro, we crank out videos. Nice, nice. You've probably been watching them on your timeline. Probably. And are they sold? Because that's priority.

Oh, actually, the sales team, there's kind of a disconnect between us and the sales team. No, we're doing it on iPhones. We jerry-rigged the car with 15 iPhones,ones we're gonna shoot it from every angle the most powerful fucking weapon that's what riggs said in the meeting this is the most powerful fucking weapon we have he said it just like that he said fucking weapon russia was throwing iphones over the fucking border of ukraine just dropping in iphones because they were slobbing off riggs in the meeting they're like riggs records all of his content on his phone. And then Riggs is like, may I?

May I? This is the most powerful fucking weapon we have in the 21st century. Look what you could do on it. Calculator, compass, timer, stopwatch. He was like, I record everything. I don't use everything, but I record everything. He's living in the Truman Show.uman i mean i agree with them to an extent i do too it was just i agreed with basically everything they were saying it was

good to see rigs honestly the craziest thing is like i feel like the best way to be successful at barstool is to like move far away from new york oh yeah caleb left new york yeah rigs out of new york yeah all people are just Spending their time to focus On their own content Instead of someone being like Hey like Would you mind Would you mind I'm gonna bug you

I'm gonna bug you in a minute I'm gonna bug you Would you mind Flying into South Africa Yeah For some rugby content You're a big rugby guy right Yeah we got

We picked up Fuck We're gonna need you to Brand We're gonna need you to learn How to play Minecraft And then go to the The nationals

Out in Saudi Arabia We got a new We got a new deal with With Exxon And we want you to fly out To Ukraine To do some oil commercials We're gonna have you

Work in an oil rig And then maybe you're gonna Pump gas In the Midwest For about Six or eight months That's your passion, right? It's going to be cute.

We're going to make it look real cute. People do love to come and just drop some random shit on you and now you have this obligation. They don't like to do that to me anymore because they know how much of a diva I am to work with. You are a diva to work with and you'll just act super disinterested. So what are we doing? Yeah, because I am.

You're the one that we're filming like an ad for like dad chad and you're like all right let's go like let's get after it here i got my own vision yeah i took some notes on different costumes that we could have these are a little bit unrealistic and i'll be enthusiastic about it and for fucking what and for fucking what dude what do i gain from that absolutely nothing just a fucking thin veneer of self-loathing just hating myself so i could fucking crab walk for these motherfuckers just bending over backwards for motherfuckers yeah it's terrible i like this when you work for big corporations i know dude i sold my pussy ass soul dude no but they they take advantage of the team player you got to be a squeaky wheel honestly i

need to squeak way more i'm just humming along perfectly wd-40'd up i'm constantly squeaking yeah you always squeak and that's why i mean you're asking for five hundred thousand dollars and they fucking bend the knee yep they respect the fuck out of it what did you do that one day what did you do this past weekend what did you do in the last six hours well since we stopped recording yesterday um we played apex didn't win once rough day and then uh ukraine got invaded yeah that's just crazy yeah it is um we should get our ukraine expert in here we should i did not i don't think there's going to be a draft fairly confident that there will never be a draft again there's obviously not going to be a draft now we're not even sending why did you

even say that because everyone on twitter is like oh it's gonna be a draft you're the one who's saying that you're making draft jokes on twitter did i make any draft jokes oh i made one i said podcasters are the first to go. We're on the fucking front lines with a TriCaster. Should be. Yeah, we know how

to hold a boom mic. We know how to hold a gun. What's the fucking difference? I would be terrified of going to war. I mean, you wouldn't go. So the podcast would still live on.

What are you talking about, bro? Well, you wouldn't go to war. You're too effing old. I don't think so. I don't think that's how it works i believe the drafting ages are 18 to 26 oh really yes that's what that's what i love about war it's old men sending young men to die brother guys like me fucking rich white men the fucking oligarchs sending your pussy asses off to get the to get slaughtered yeah and i was talking

to my boys yesterday about it. You should just enlist. Honestly, you'll get preferential treatment. Just go over and be a medic. Or be like a ward journalist. Medics are the ones that always die. I was talking to my friends and I was like, yeah, it's going to suck. We're all going to get drafted. And they were like, we're not going to get drafted because they're all still in school.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, so I'd be the only one. You got a fake asthma or something. I just got to enlist in one. I got to enroll in one class yeah like community college devry university or some shit like that the uh like a mechanic school or something like that but they'll probably take the dudes out of mechanic schools they'll probably turn the mechanic schools into like shell making companies that like build drones that drop fucking you're're like a modern Rosie the Riveter. Do women still not get drafted?

I don't know, but that's something that's big to look into. I don't think they do. I don't think trans get drafted, for sure. But I'm not sure... Oh, definitely not. Definitely not. The military's not too progressive.

Trans are our most scarce resource. We have to protect trans at all costs. Of course. Can't trans die? No. We need to multiply. Trans need to breed amongst one another. We should get Billy in here.

I don't have his phone number, though. Let me text him. Do you have his number? Yeah. I was trying to fucking text him, bro. You can steal the... This is going to do not well for macro dosing when this comes out the same day. Fuck, do I not have Billy's number?

Me neither, bro. I know he texted me recently. What the fuck? Did he say, yo, it's Billy? Dude, when he comes in, we can't let him know that we both don't have his numbers. Great, it should be right around here. Should be something around this number. Should be something right around this time. Just say the number that you think it is into the air,

and we'll probably be able to kind of grab that out of the sky it's funny that we have him as as our expert but then when he tweeted like dude this is this is literally poland or the germany invading poland in 1939 i immediately was like he does know what the fuck he's talking about he had me hook line and sinker i'm dumb enough to to really believe when someone just has a little bit of knowledge i i tend to believe it oh yeah me too i took a took a shot in the dark here texted a number that might be billy and i said are you in the office oh dude just be like can you you you gotta just tell him coming to pat pod one just have him storm in here like a fucking wrestler kick down the door and explain some geopolitics to our bitch asses bro yeah i want to hear what billy were you scared when you were watching the news last night no it was more just like kind of shocking yeah you're just shocked that was more

were you in my heart was going out to ukraine no it was my heart was going out to putin bro no we were sitting there and i was everybody's fight all he's trying to do is fucking kill some neo-nazis and suddenly everyone's on his ass bro i guess it was uh it was weird i mean it was weird seeing like they invaded and all of a sudden they're just like they're like airstriking ukraine but also in like the bottom like left of the screen you could see people like walking to work and shit like that and like a dude opening up a fruit stand you think you would go to work on the day of like uh your city getting bombed i would i'd be in the office fucking writing a blog bro hoping that the nate dog sees it hoping that the mcmahon sees it

billy can't come in bro what the fuck why can't he come in because he's recording they're about to record he said record what i don't know probably pmt what's today thursday yo come on in bro yeah make it quick bill come on bro you gotta scooch in close that door too bro we don't need anyone knowing the government secrets that you're about to fucking unleash on us. Yeah, tighten in, bro. Tighten in. Dude, so as soon as I saw that tweet about, like, this is Poland in 1939, I was like, oh, fuck, Billy knows what he's talking about. Download some information onto us, bro. We're trying to act like we know what we're talking about.

Yeah, just spit. Appeasement. Okay. Okay. Unifying ethnic nationalists. Are you spelling something? No, I'm just naming trends. This is an anagram.

Okay. Student land is a direct allegory to Crimea. Student land is? Yep. Appeasement. What's appeasement?

Appeasement is just letting a dictator nibble off a little bit of cheese and then he tries to take the whole wheel of cheese. Oh, fuck. A cheesement. Yeah.

Oh, shit. That's what happened? Wait, wait, wait. Contextualize it, bro. What do you mean? What are you recording? I'm not recording anything. You're going to record. Oh, yeah. I'm going to record. Are you recording us right now, bro? I don't know. Are you recording? Are you recording me? Yeah, we're obviously

transparently fucking recording, dude. This is fucked up, bro. Why are you recording us, bro? What side are you on? Dude, what side are you on? We feel bad for PMT if they want to do a collab episode with us. You guys can just put it out. You feel bad for Putin? Well, we all do in here. He's got sad eyes.

Yeah, exactly, bro. History is going to write Putin as being so short. They're going to write him shorter than Peter Dinklage. Bro, shorter than Napoleon. And they're going to write him like that. But that's not really how he presents himself. He's a bullish man. Now, dude, why do you think he's taking over the world?

I think because he hates neo-Nazis, right, bro? Yeah, that was basically Ukraine got milkshake duck. Like remember that chick that fell off the the the fucking stage and broke her back? Yeah. Pulled out her like racist tweets. Oh, that's what happened. Yeah. Ukraine basically just fucking got invaded and everyone just pulled out their racist tweets yeah that's what happened wait

where are you going for your information so like regular jimmies and joes like who are you listening to what podcast yeah who are you give us i don't listen to podcasts i just like like not or who are you reading deep web okay and what is that the fifth page of google six page of google gets pretty deep what do you have to type in? Reddit. Yeah? Weird message boards. Really?

I gotta go back. No, bro, please, please. This is bigger than part of my take. Seriously, dude, you're not gonna get these fucking takes on part of my take, dude. We're talking about the real shit. Dude, PMT is a podcast of the past. Seriously, dude, this is... Fuck, bro.

At least we got him for a second. I'm reeling right now. He gave us too much dude he he gave me more he we bit off more than we could chew right there i know i don't even know what he was talking about except i did like the appeasement appeasement yeah appeasement he was ready to go i know he knew what he wanted he's just the information spilling out of him and they put a fucking muzzle on him in there dude everyone's always like oh shut up billy don't fucking talk anymore we're like yeah billy talk more dude they don't want him to talk dude they don't want billy

to be able to get his fucking thoughts off i do they don't i'm uh billy billy interests me a lot i was a big fan of wild bill out in la yeah he's very interesting he is i'm trying to i'm and i'm pretty sure he was just hammered the entire time we were in la should we try to should we try to add him on from time to time should we get billy in the mix see if he can kind of like get rid of all of his other responsibilities or something like that we usurp billy dude we should take billy how like we should putin no i'm trying to try what's the best way to put this we should take billy away from part of my take like attack part of my take and annex the billy part and take him for ourselves do you know what i mean you should take pft to pft yeah and maybe big cat out of it oh leave big cat hell no okay should we try and get liam

yeah but not jake marsh no jake marsh no that's not the kind of energy we need on this show seriously top button buttoned unironically yeah not even cool guy top top guy buttoned shirt tucked in top top button buttoned um like he's going on jerry springer or some shit yeah i mean i think the whole ukraine and russia thing is pretty crazy i think that um twitter is going to be a complete mess for the next like year i think covid is over completely no one gives a fuck about covid anymore i feel like covid like tagged out and fucking war tagged i mean andrew schultz tweeted like like two weeks ago and was like covid's over because they're

talking about war now and it's like it's true and then he's also on episode four of euphoria i can't believe it bro is he really yeah he's on episode four no like he's watched on episode four of Euphoria. I can't believe it, bro. Is he really? Yeah, he's on episode four. No, like he's watched up to episode four. Oh, yeah, I saw that too. He's also tweeting about that, bro. I saw that. He was like episode four. Mind fucking blown. Yeah, and a little Crimea shit.

He's a great like tidy joke writer. Oh, yeah. And I was asking like Rudy what he thought about him, and Rudy was like, I don't fuck with him. He's a threat. He's like, he's a funny guy. He's good looking. He's like a smooth guy.

He's cool. Black people like him. And he's like, dude, he's a threat. Like, I can't fucking, I can't fuck with Andrew Schultz. Have you ever seen the videos from his tours? I don't think I have. He's like a rock star. Oh, people do love him.

Dude, he comes out with a whole song playing and everything. And he's in a rock star oh people do love him dude he like comes out with like a whole song playing and everything and like he's like in a theater and the crowd's going like insane does a little dance yeah it's sick

he is a lovable guy and probably like rightfully so he's like rich and a good joke writer do you get pissed off when people seem like they have too much

going for him do you know what the sentiment that I'm talking about with Rudy saying he's like a threat oh yeah yeah I know what you mean but no not really I don't give an F you don't give an F about anybody the only thing I'm talking about with Rudy saying he's like a threat? Oh, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean, but no, not really.

I don't give an F. You don't give an F about anybody? The only thing I care about is this podcast and playing video games. Seems like video games are taking a front seat. Side note, I'm going to be at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin in April. What the fuck? Yeah. April when?

April. I don't know exactly the dates the whole month i might be there for like a week are you doing a residency there you want to come no why not all right fine i'm in i'm in i'm in all right good we're gonna be recording out in austin how we're gonna record in a room that has so much echo you won't even you won't even be able to handle it oh yeah we're gonna have uh every now and then, probably about 10 minutes, the mics are going to cut out. But we're going to do it manually, though.

We're just going to have some scissors, and then we're going to tie it back together like you're undoing a vasectomy. Exactly. Yeah, it should be fucking sweet, dude. That's going to be something to look forward to. How'd you get booked in Austin? Connections.

You've got to go to this place called rositas al pastor bro well you can take me when we're there rositas al pastor yeah it's a taco truck and i've never been to austin it sounds fun really yeah oh dude ever been to texas i think that um austin's got homeless people at the level of la yeah i've heard but also i didn't see a lot about homeless people in la oh because they like power wash the sidewalks around the like important parts of town yeah downtown la we're like yeah the central touristy parts of town i think hollywood they were like chasing them away they were like picking them up in the middle of the night while they were sleeping and then like dropping them right outside the town border some fucked up shit that garcetti's doing man hell yeah he's

just respecting the post wait how long are you actually going to be there and when is it going to be after your 21st birthday or before your 21st birthday after um i got i like forgot about it completely and then i got tagged in it on instagram it's a pretty big festival um let me see i feel like this is a big deal i feel like you doing a festival isn't like just doing a regular show in new york there's a lot of people on it but how many minutes you're gonna do probably like 10 minutes um it is april 13th to the 24th i'm sure i'm not there that entire time but some names that are gonna be there 13th to the 24th yeah oh did you say that i don't know why that sounded like it came from owen

uh dan soder mark normand big j please don't destroy francis ellis little sasquatch right next to each other okay seems like they're kind of lumping you guys in together what do you guys have in common they're not it's a massive list holy fuck dude let me see that fucking list and it's all comedians and comedians there's some podcasts i don't really know that many people on it but it's gonna be a fucking good time holy shit dude why didn't we guys don't sell it out too fast i feel like being at an act oh how awesome would it be if my if our if our podcast fans sold out the entire festival we just had all of our fans were in just booing the fuck out of everybody else everyone that would

be sick that would probably make my career forever. Yeah. Everyone would remember that. And all the other comedians would love you for that. Yeah, they'd be like, what the fuck? This is awesome that these guys are booing me and all wearing boy dad sweatshirts. Yeah, I would take over. Referencing the stupidest and dumbest shit. Oh, dude, Moshe Kosher's going to be there? No, bro, I thought I'd see you at the bank.

Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were at the bank. Every single person that I see in real life. You shouldn't have made a joke damn bro i thought you were gonna be at the bank you shouldn't have made a joke that was fucking yeah recurrable yeah no yeah i'm actually no i'm here where's your where's your fucking money at then? Because this is a robbery. This is a fucking stick up. How much are you getting paid though, for real? A couple thousand. Is that true?

Is that true? I have no idea. So it is a couple thousand. I might have to pay to go. I might have to pay to be on it. Well, you're definitely going to have to pay to get there. You pay for your fight there. No, I don't think I do.

If you want to work at Barstool, you do. Otherwise, it's Barstools. It is Barstools, bro. The money is. If you make any money you need to fuck you better report it or i'm gonna report you dave's like the irs dude if you make outside money you better be reporting it or he's gonna throw you in the clink we gotta do something because i'm gonna get in trouble bro i don't want to get in trouble bro link with link with mike mike's down there oh bro oh wallace yeah what's going on Link with Mike's down there.

Oh, bro. Oh, Wallace? Yeah. What's going on? King of the Mikes? Damn. Where'd you get that? Is that their merch?

No. Tell me you're not promoting third-party merch right now. I'm not promoting third-party merch. This shirt was a gift, and I think it's about to get me in a lot of trouble. Why? Because it wasn't from a mic. I see. It was from my friend Colin's sister, Bridget.

She weaves them herself. She wove this shirt. It looks like it's hand-weaved. It's hand-woven. Because of how shitty it looks. But I feel like she'll beat the fuck out of you, bro. I was going to get you a hand-woven shirt, bro. But I feel like she's trying to set me up by me wearing a shirt where I'm the king of the mics. Dude, I feel like the mics aren't going to really like that a lot.

Yeah. I honestly, I don't wear any clothes that aren't Barstool brand and that aren't advertisers of this podcast. I threw out everything else. What's that hat? North Face. We got to, oh, we should probably do our first ad read. Every Plate. Every Plate is America's best value meal kit.

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I fucking love that shit bro look guys we're gonna take this podcast to the next level and we want you guys all to be along for the ride we're gonna amp it up we're probably not gonna record out i don't want to record out of studio much anymore yeah i don't want to either because i want unless we figure out some way to get the mics to work what about the places where you go and like or you see podcasts that have like the clip on mic with

like an arm that goes into your mouth yeah i just don't get it because like yesterday i felt like should have worked except those mics are super shitty so it makes sense that they wouldn't. But like plenty of podcasts record from just like in a room. Like when I first started listening, like when Tiny Meat Gang first started, it was literally just Cody Ko and Noah Miller

at like their kitchen counter with two mics. What the fuck? Maybe we're holding the mic wrong. Have you ever held a mic before? Maybe that was the problem. You didn't know how to hold a mic no it's just like the mics had to be straight out at all times it was nowhere near your mouth like emma chamberlain records her podcast in like her room just in bed shut up bro and she just has one mic and we like need to be in a massive in a full studio for the audio to not sound like complete ass maybe you should learn how to become an audio guy it's not the audio to not sound like complete ass maybe you should learn how

to become an audio guy it's not the audio it's not like the editing of the audio it's like the actual microphones no glennie said that he was going to learn how to do audio and he was going to help us out he said he wanted to pick up a couple extra skill sets so is that just like all by choice or is that from something happened what glennie yeah did you hear on uh dave's podcast he was like, Glennie's got to learn how to edit or some shit like that. Yeah.

Editing is not that hard. You think so? I'm a good editor, bro. Fucking great editor. I'm actually, I need to learn how to edit then. It's very easy. I don't know how to do it

on a computer, but I know how to do it on the phone. What do you edit on? You know how to trim? I know how to trim a TikTok. You know how to add it on the phone. What do you edit on? You know how to trim? I know how to trim a TikTok. You know how to add that annoying ass voice? I know how to add the voice.

I like the new one. I like to go down to the store. Today I went to the store. There were bombs falling from the sky. Yeah, I love that. That's so silly. Seriously. That's so silly and so fun.

You know what TikToks I refuse to fucking look at? Whenever there's just a big block of text on the screen. Oh, yeah. Instant swipe. That's a Tommy Smokes move. Two seconds worth of video and then it loops around. Or it just starts over because they're just trying to game the algorithm. You're not going to fucking game the algorithm on me, bro no not on not on my sweat not off my fucking back no

swipe right through that if i see a tweet like if i see a post like that i report the person yeah for for bullying and harassment honestly you should yeah it's the only fucking way dude it's the only way and fuck nancy pelosi bro yeah fuck her why somehow she's has something to do with what's going on in ukraine and russia yeah because she's the fucking stock market's tanking and all she does is insider trading bro fucking what's his name has been biden's been real quiet wasn't he didn't he talk at 12 today or some shit did he i know he was supposed to i hope so i'd love to hear what he has to say i know you think this would have happened if 45 was still in office hell no hell no he would have been bombing the fuck out of ukraine and russia right now he would have flown to fucking ukraine

and just started swatting down missiles fucking have you ever seen that episode of south park where they like they blow up the netherlands oh yeah because they're in a meeting and the guy that runs the netherlands is pissing them all off so they're like all right let's blow up the netherlands and like missiles from every single country come and just the netherlands is just gone seriously fuck the netherlands bro it was a funny uh or not funny but the shit that biden said this morning was pretty scary what did he say just about like if anyone tries to stop them from invading ukraine there will be they will fight back like are you saying putin or biden putin oh you said biden putin the shit that putin said this morning was scary when he was he said like he talked spicy he was talking real spicy he said

like if people try to stop them from invading ukraine there will be consequences like they have never like the earth has never seen before in their history dude it's uh what does that mean i feel like presidents and world leaders have to talk really spicy yeah i want to get out of new york you think that they're gonna hot spot you think they're gonna bomb new york i they could what's stopping them i think uh the the knowledge of of uh recourse the fact that there could be consequences for them doing that i don't think they give a fuck if if uh if like if they bomb new york i think that russia would legitimately cease to exist like uh but doesn't i mean russia and china have a bigger military than the united states i don't think they do

i think the united states is like number four. In military size? I think that we outspend all of them like by fucking tenfold. I think our military budget is by far the biggest in the world. I could be wrong about that. I know India has the most. The most militaries? The most soldiers. The most bras in the military?

Oh, brother. Russia's number one. Wait, no, this can't be right. Who's that posted by? That's just like the first. That's off Putin's Twitter. All right. Top 10 countries with the highest numbers of active duty military personnel.

China, number one. Number two, India. Number three, United States. Number four, North Korea. Number five, Russia. number three united states number four north korea number five russia so if russia and china combined lights out for the u.s you think that they're gonna do that aren't they allies uh i don't know because i just started paying attention last night when it all came onto the fucking news just like everybody else all right let me fact check i haven't been up on and even if you were like watching cnn this whole time cnn wasn't fucking

talking about it they were like fucking fox news wasn't talking about it the queen like they're talking about the most random shit like you can't blame anybody for not being informed about this because the people who are supposed to inform you are just talking about the most random shit just to get people pissed off. Do you think that the whole point of this was to, like the whole point of starting the war was to, was an inside job that was, do you think the whole point of them starting the war right now

was an inside job to hide the fact that Hillary Clinton murdered that dude that Epstein was friends with jean lacpleu i did see that lepleu is dead now yes and that's devastating do you think that's what this is no but that did that did definitely happen and now there's a war going on a couple days later but you think that the clintons really still have sway like that oh yes that to start a war i know that they can get people killed no problem willy-nilly it's like ordering fucking takeout basically started a war in the u.s bro no you think they can't go international what war do they start in the u.s bro civil war 2016 the clintons did china and

russia currently enjoy the best relations they have ever had or they have had since the late 1950s although they have no formal alliance the two countries do have an informal agreement to coordinate diplomatic and economic moves and build up an alliance against the united states damn it's over bro it's some schoolyard shit cameras it's over where are we gonna do next one is gonna be from a missile silo i'm gonna enlist we're gonna be in a bomb shelter somewhere dude dude if if there's even a thought that they're coming that we're going to fight in a war with them i'm getting the fuck out of new york you're going to be dishonorably no you're going to enlist and then you're going to be dishonorably discharged within one week for complaining that

your gun's too heavy oh my gun is heavy you don't know the first thing about war i play apex every night i know everything about it what if that's who the next war is fought by? That'd be a sick movie to be like, we need to recruit the fucking best gamers. Like, we need Faze to fight this war for us. We need fucking 100 Thieves to come fucking fight this war for us. I was talking to my buddy last night who I was playing video games with, and he said his lacrosse coach is in the military and he's getting deployed right now to ukraine no way yep yeah oh yeah there's military soldiers on the ground i thought we weren't doing boots on the ground i thought we're just doing economic

sanctions kind of like how you and caleb are going to do storm chasers oh we're gonna be boots on the ground down in uh arkansas oh is that where you're going yeah i mean it's already happened now yeah we're gonna clip that part and put it out today if that's cool please don't fucking do that bro please bro i fucking need the element of surprise arkansas what are you doing out in arkansas watching basketball lame i know nobody's flying down there i gotta hit one flight there's one flight and it's completely empty it's just me on there is it really that's sick have you ever been on a plane where you're like one of the only people on it? I don't even know if they do the flights if there's only one person on it. I've been on one where there hasn't been a lot of people.

How few people was it? Recently when I flew to Cincinnati, I had a layover from O'Hare to Cincinnati. And that flight, most of the rows had one person in them. Damn. So I had to row to myself. Was it like in Home Alone when he realizes his parents are in France or whatever? Were you just like sprinting up and down the aisles, jumping on the bed, making popcorn and shit? No, but I did move seats to go to sit in my own row.

No way. Yeah. Holy fuck, dude. That must have been fucking extraordinary. I asked the flight attendant I said excuse me sir Um Aviation fan here

Uh Do you care if I grab this open seat? I know in the 737 MAX There's usually a double wide seat Yeah About the 23rd row Because of the way The exit rows are set up

So I'm looking at this model Looks like a 373-7 Uh Yeah I'm gonna take the seat I don't know where that was going I fucking know Looks like a 73-7. Yeah. I'm going to take the seat. I don't know where that was going. I fucking know where it was going.

My brain's fried, bro. No, it's not. No, I'm good. I'm going strong. You're fresh. I'm not going to go to the gym today. Because you went yesterday. You need an active recovery period.

And I didn't sleep at all last night. I could tell, kind of. Five hours. Owen didn't sleep at all either. I could tell Owen didn't sleep. Owen didn't sleep at all either i could tell owen didn't sleep i got more sleep than i did i don't think he did i think i was up all hours of the night he stayed up looking at the ceiling i stayed hitting that vape pen i was reading twitter all night just trying to figure out what was my book i didn't even read my book last night i was just like i was like i'm gonna get i was like i'm gonna get some tweets off damn i'm gonna get some tweets off you did i actually did that was my mindset i opened up twitter and i was like all right let's

go it's how you cope bro it's your coping mechanism i love that what the fuck are you coping over the war that's not affecting the u.s currently yeah people uh people wouldn't have known if it wasn't like in the news cycle how How many 9-11s happened in Ukraine yesterday? I think it was like 0.3. That's the US? It wasn't even like a half 9-11? It wasn't even a quarter of a 9-11? I already forgot. It really, I mean, there's definitely been

bombings of other countries that we've paid significantly less attention to. That we have done. Yeah. Frequently. On the low recently what if uh like apex like you think you're playing a video game and you're actually just bombing a country yeah yeah we have this new game we want you to try out that's a bro that's some black mirror shit let's run that cut that from the episode that could i think that's black mirror and i think having like a replacements level

type of movie where they're just like recruiting the best video game players in the world to be our soldiers like in the future. Yeah.

I think that that's fire too. Yeah, that would be, I don't know if I like that one as much. I think the other one's really, I think I could see the other one being a Black Mirror episode.

Yeah. It's a good at, bro. That other one though, like don't, I wouldn't even like tell anyone else. No, that other one is like, because you've never seen the replacement, bro. You've never though, like don't, I wouldn't even like tell anyone else. No, that other one is like, because you've never seen

The Replacement, bro. You've never seen a fucking heist movie where they're like, okay, we got a wheel man. We got a fucking internet guy. I've seen plenty of heist movies. Name a heist movie

that you've seen. The Town. Ocean's Eleven. And didn't they fucking assemble a crew in both of them? Ocean's Eleven is about assembling a crew.

But why would they assemble a crew of video game players because that's how the fucking wars are being fought through drone strikes and shit like that drone racing they probably would just hire someone who actually knows how to use the drone in real life bro i'm trying to fucking write the next day you're dumb as you're dumb as hell no bro i don't need fucking no man in my life I need fucking maybe you can work man in my life I am a I am a no man

I'm actually uh Bro I got some shit coming up Ideas? Ideas you mean? Everything Do you really? I think I'm gonna go to Colorado soon On uh

I'm gonna go to West Palm Beach soon When are you going? March 10th that weekend That is perfect I'm going to go to West Palm Beach soon. When are you going? Because maybe we could go at the same time. March 10th, that weekend. That is perfect. That's where I'm going to Colorado. Why is that going to make anything better, though? I guess we've got to just record something extra before then.

Yeah. But we'll just be traveling at the same time. That's what's perfect. I won't get as much flack for not being here. It's the weekend. Oh, I'm going before the weekend. March 10th is not on the weekend. March 11th is then.

March 10th is probably a Thursday. You're going to leave on Thursday? March 10th is Thursday. I'm going to leave, I think, Wednesday. Shut up, bro. I'm going skiing. In March? Yep.

I need some sunshine, dude. I'm going to get sunshine on the mountain. Oh, yeah? Because I've come to conclusions I can't go hiking in Colorado in the March. Because it's too steep for you? No, there's going to be too much snow. You got bitch-ass ankles? You see that video of that dude that got avalanched?

I saw the headline, which I feel like is tantamount to seeing the video. I didn't watch the video either. I only saw the headline. Did you actually not watch the video? Yeah, you don't watch the fucking video. They posted it on the barstool twitter yeah viva that's all i need i like it when they post a clip of a video when like they could easily just tweet out the video oh yeah they're just trying to drive traffic 1930 yeah click here to click through here to click through here that's like the dude that you know who always gets me that uh twitter account black sports online

you know who i'm talking about i don't know them his this dude uh he'll like have the best most salacious headlines of all time and like you have to click them and then it'll be like a eight thing slide eight like leveled slideshow that you have to get to and like click every single one to get to the exact content but he's a genius at headline writing. Headline writing is the last great art. Like the best writers in America shouldn't be writing books or movies or anything like that. They should be writing headlines because that's all anybody pays attention to.

Yeah. Like The Onion. Yeah, I mean humorous headline writing too, but like actual, you have to deliver the whole story in the headline. Yeah. Because nobody's reading headlines now, especially online, it was probably harder back in a newspaper era when that was the only way to read news.

Because the headline would have to be quick. You couldn't have a headline now where it's four lines. Pervert robs bank. Yeah, exactly. They definitely used to call people pervs in headlines. I think that's a big New York Post thing. Yeah, pervv local pervert fucking perverts dude local pervert adam farone starts podcast with boy don't even put 13 years

younger than him don't put those fucking words out there bro don't even put don't put my name next to pervert i'm gonna get that on a newspaper i want to see him oh you got a mugshot too oh that'll be an easy Photoshop. I don't think so, bro. You're not fucking doing this to me. Do you think you're going to get arrested this week? I hope so. I hope I'm already in the clink when we're recording this.

That would be so sick. Oh my God. Please get arrested. Let's add this in. All right, we'll do this next half as if you were arrested. For like five minutes so we can use it as a teaser. Okay, cool. All right, ready? Yeah. So what happened? I got raped. if you were arrested or for like five minutes so we can use it as a teaser okay cool all right ready

yeah so what happened i got raped jesus christ prison rape yeah bro in jail yeah by caleb no it was tom mullins the cameraman jesus christ i always knew there was something off about that guy. He skinned Trey and wore Trey's clothes like he was a tribal leader. So there was no law enforcement or anything in the prison? There were, but they turned off Caleb's cell camera and he hung himself. Holy shit. Allegedly.

Allegedly? Allegedly he did. I think the Clintons had something to do with it. Well, because Caleb's very well connected, especially down in Florida, which is where Jeffrey Epstein used to live. Chef Donnie ratted us all out. What did you guys get arrested for? Lewd indecent exposure. Indecent exposure?

Yeah, we had this new celebration where we ran out to the center of the court and helicoptered our dicks for the entire stadium to see. Damn. Yeah. Dave wanted us to do it. Well, anything for Prez. Yeah. Erica signed off as long as we used- Anything for E.

Cell phone cameras to film it. It's way easier to go viral on a cell phone camera, we learned. That thing is a fucking weapon. And we went viral for all the wrong reasons. Yeah. We went viral on Pornhub. Damn. Yeah.

It was cool, though, because now i'm a victim and that's what i always wanted in life exactly all right thanks for coming in what what did you guys get arrested for last time we sat in seats that were like reserved it there was like a piece of paper on the seat that said reserved for barstool sports yeah and we sat down in the seats and then somebody who works in the stadium was like they can't be there or something like that and we like showed the stadium people that we had the seats uh like we had these like little placards saying reserved for barstool sports and those stadium people went over to go get the police officers and as if the police officers went over,

Caleb was like, dude, we got to go limp. Like if they try to attack or if they try to arrest us, go limp. And he wasn't talking and the dude and Donnie wasn't talking. So I was the one talking to the cops the entire time. I didn't really have the privilege of going limp because I was in the middle of the conversation with them, like trying to give some kind of plausible argument for why we didn't have to go anywhere,

why we shouldn't have to do anything, that we had the reserved seats and could they understand why we thought we were allowed to be there. But I needed to argue to the point where like there was, they had to drag us out and they eventually,

they dragged us out and like had us in the hallways of the stadium and like even after like we were in the hallway, like Chef Donnie was still like fucking fighting with a cop i was like chill bro we're doing this for content like we don't actually like we're not at war with these dudes we're not trying to like actually make their life hell yeah we just wanted the video of us getting dragged out like we're not doing this because like we really believe we deserve these seats like we're trying to fucking we're trying to make your seats But they were your seats, right?

I mean, their student section reserved them for us. That's so weird. And you guys got arrested for that? Yeah. I mean, yeah, we did. Would you get arrested for going limp? Yeah, basically resisting. Resisting arrest.

And they got a charge, or they were supposed to get a charge that I didn't get because I talked to the dude. and they got a charge or they were supposed to get a charge that I didn't get because I talked to the dude because he was like hey I'm going to give you so and so

for not like for like being cooperative or some shit like that so basically I was a snitch sounds like it yeah sounds like you're a puss yeah

well maybe this way people can get arrested and you can not be like a bitch about it and just actually get thrown in fucking real big boy jail so what

so you like got brought to a police station? Yeah. And they took your mugshot and they just let you go? Or did they put you in a holding cell? They had us in... No, they didn't have us in a holding cell. They just had us in like the different detective's offices and shit like that. And what were they... Did you explain

like this is for a video? Yeah. And they were just like, okay, get the fuck out of here? They were like, big fan, bro. Really? What's Dave like in person yeah damn that's interesting it was interesting uh i mean the footage of us getting of us getting taken out them getting dragged out is incredible yeah i've seen it we should spice it over this yeah we should try to fucking go viral or some shit like that yeah um. I'd love to go viral. Me too. Let's do an ad right here.

All right. We're back from the ads. So how many places are you guys going? You don't have to say the specifics. Three or four. Three or four

something like that until we get a storm. It's traditionally been three or four places that we go to. So a storm is a storming the court. When people storm the court, we want them to storm the court. We're trying to orchestrate an environment. What if there's no storm? We might have to go forever.

Damn. That shit sucks. What a series that would be. Yeah, just on the road. Yeah. I would like to actually storm chase. That would be fun. Would you do that? Yeah. I would like to actually storm chase. That would be fun. Would you do that?

Yeah. Or are you spooked by that? I feel like you're just driving in a van getting close to a fucking... I don't think it's that scary. Yeah. A tornado would probably scare me a little bit. I think people get scrambled sometimes in their van. The van picks them up and they get fucking shaken up.

Yeah, I think a tornado would freak me out if we were close. Isn't storm chasing illegal now um i feel like there's like new laws about it i feel like i did see something about that recently but once again i only read the headline yeah i don't even think i read the headline i think someone told me dude such bullshit that the fucking there's more information deep into the article yeah i know i mean it makes sense for them to make storm chasing illegal like you're going you're moving closer into a deadly natural disaster that's like saying bungee jumping should be illegal though it should be i actually agree bungee jumping is stupid have you seen that clip It's always going viral of the dude who saves the other guy's life.

He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, yeah. This thing wasn't hooked on, man. Yeah. You could have fucking died. Yeah. That shit's spooky. That spooks me out.

Yeah, I mean. The fact that it's just like one carabiner. I like to be on the ground. Yeah. I don't even like ziplining. No. Zip lining is like kind of a bitch-ass activity i don't like zip lining at all i like it a little bit if i saw some video cenote no i saw some video

recently of some dudes his zip line gets stuck and that's scary in like the like he's like on over the rainforest i feel like there's always like videos of like like asian couples going across like a glass bridge or something like that and like the bridge like simulates it breaking or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah, why don't we have that? I don't know. They like to spook people in different ways. I don't really search for thrills like that. I don't really seek the thrill like that. The biggest thrill that I don't, I just don't want to be on the ground. I don't want to like i don't want to be in the sky i don't like the feeling of dropping me at all me neither i hate it me neither um

yeah like honestly the best ride is like a ride that's plenty enough for me is flying in a fucking airplane people act like that's so routine like that's crazier than any fucking roller coaster. You don't have the suspension of the fucking track where you don't have anything holding you up there. You're literally just flying through the air. That's thrilling. That's plenty of a thrill for me. Yeah.

And just getting up on that stage with the fucking bright lights and a crowd of 300 people hanging on your every word, man. That's a fucking thrill for me. That is a thrill. That's all I fucking need. Them fucking screaming, fucking loving you. Should we bring someone else in for the last 15?

I texted Big Cap. I think he's recording part of my take. That's probably what Billy had to go do. Should we get Nick or KB? They definitely fucking left hours ago. Oh, they left. Where do they go? Where do they go when they leave?

They go to your apartment? Why have they been going to your guys' apartment? Is that where they are right now? I don't know if I believe that. I would like to try to ramp the fuck up with Son of a boy dad yeah me too i really want to i want to travel less and uh do son of a boy dad more i feel like i've been traveling i want to travel more but not for the stuff that like you're doing yeah like i don't

want to go to jackson for an hour yeah like that sounds like there's nothing enjoyable what did i went to buffalo wild wings that night yeah like there's nothing enjoyable. Well, dude, I went to Buffalo Wild Wings that night. Yeah. There's nothing enjoyable. So what do you mean there's nothing enjoyable? I went to a chain restaurant that you can go to anywhere in the United States. Is the Buffalo Wild Wings a block away from here? Yeah, but it's not like out there, bro.

The Buffalo Wild Wings. It's different in Jackson. It's so different. The wings hit different. You're way closer to the Purdue farm. You can taste how recently the fucking wings were butchered. How many cows do you think are killed today? How many cows and chickens are killed today for human consumption?

Thousands? Millions? Which one? Millions, probably. Which one? Millions. Millions of cows are killed each day? So 300 plus million cows are killed a year for human consumption makes sense

chickens probably chickens they probably fucking i they fuck and slaughter those things it's like a would you go to a slaughterhouse you think a slaughterhouse would ruin chickens for you uh no i wouldn't want to go to it and see that now but it wouldn't ruin chickens for me because like i need to eat chicken yeah chicken's a hard one to cut out like i could see myself cutting out red meat just because it's like not healthy in general maybe a couple times a month though yeah just uh you know get the the nutrients and shit like that man yeah i guess there's a lot of like vitamins that morning would you get the day after a fucking steak dinner oh no steak is like one of my favorite foods but but it's not healthy yeah but if you have it from time to time there's some good shit that you can

get from yeah red meat yeah four times a month it's a lot that's a lot of times to have red meat a steak every other week and a hamburger every other week well i'm just thinking like dinner like i would never have like a steak for lunch. Steak's dinner. And so if you're having four steaks a week that means you're having a steak every week. I'm saying

I said four a month. Four steaks a month that means you're having a steak every week. Yeah, steak every week. Do you do that typically? I don't think it's that crazy.

You think I'm an indulge am I an indulgent swine? We're going to have to get you to CityMD. Am I the bourgeoisie? Get your blood pressure taken. My blood pressure is extraordinary. I did my resting heart rate yesterday and it fucking blew yours out of the water.

It was 58. Let's do it again, bro. Mine's 75. 58. Dude, that's like a resting heart rate. And we're resting right now. No, we're talking. Like 58 is like you just woke up.

Well, that's what mine was when we were talking. Like we're at the same. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why we're not doing. Maybe that's why we need to. Like, 58 is like you just woke up. Well, that's what mine was when we were talking. Like, we're at the same... Well, maybe that's why. Maybe that's why we're not doing... Maybe that's why we need to... You gotta step it up. I have been stepping it up. You gotta dig deep.

I rest at 40, 44, and then I go up to 58. That's me fucking digging deep. I want you to be at 120 while we're recording. I couldn't possibly... I want you to be sweating. I would have to be doing jumping jacks. Goddamn. My mom uses one of those well that was

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Dude, I feel like I could pass a polygraph so easily i know we should do that you should get one i was watching some some dateline shit about this woman whose husband was just fucking poisoning the shit out of her poisoning poisoning her like little by little he was putting like valium which i didn't think was a poison i thought it was just like a pain i thought valium was like a benzo yeah whatever he was putting something like that that either was valium or sounded like valium in her sandwiches and she was just fucking eating it her hair was falling out and he kept on just giving her sandwiches really yeah but i mean i think that women love to watch stories that make them think

that their significant other's going to kill them yeah i feel like that's all dateline shows or like that's all oxygen network true crime is just for women so they can like be scared like it's that yeah i uh i liked true crime for a bit and then i listened to one recently and it like turned me off of i'm like i don't need to be here in the jinx i think the jinx was the best one the dude I liked True Crime for a bit, and then I listened to one recently, and it turned me off. I'm like, I don't need to be hearing this shit. The Jinx. I think The Jinx was the best one, the one with Robert Durst, but that also ruined all of them. Because every True Crime series thinks they need to be like eight episodes or whatever.

You should be able to fit this shit in 30 minutes. Just make it action-packed. I'm not trying to find out over and over. Just tell me the details of the case. I'm not trying to find out over and over just tell me the details of the case the only one I listened to was I used to listen to Small Town Murder quite often

that's like a comedy, they're like two comedians and they do a really good true crime podcast I don't listen to them anymore but I listen to one of their old ones I like the old ones but I listened to one of the old ones recently and it was like insanely disturbing what do you mean mean it's just like super fucked up they just told all

the details of the murder no like just like what the murderer was doing to the people so many murder so many people murder it's so crazy how many murderers there are to just populate all these podcasts people oh yeah people are turning their fucking like craziest shit was when gabby petito got killed and like literally if you went on apple podcasts like the top like 100 podcasts were just gabby petito gabby petito gabby it was a new it was like comedy news gabby petito those people act like they're like doing like some justice or something it's like you know you're only doing that because you know it's going to make your podcast go to the top of the charts yeah in no way in your head do you actually think you're like doing that because you know it's going to make your podcast go to the top of the charts. Yeah. In no way in your head do you actually think you're like doing something good.

Those people definitely just sit around and wait for like a good murder. They're like, oh, fuck yes. That was like Christmas morning for them. Yeah, it definitely was. Yeah. It was probably incredible. They're like in an arms race to see who can get the Gabby Petito pot out first. I think I had, I think I have screenshots of it because I was like blown away.

It was like the day that they found her body. And it was like hundreds. And they were like, big update on the Gabby Petito case. You don't need to hear. Just like fucking turn on the news like everyone else. Yeah, what comedian was talking about? Like imagine having your true crime podcast skipped over. Like your murder.

This one's boring as fuck. Yeah, this murder wasn't interesting at all this one was super boring don't watch that episode or the ones that they didn't even make a fucking they didn't even make an episode about just because it's that boring yeah that would be fun you think that you would do an interesting murder

or do you think that you like would you do some real sick shit if you were a murderer or do you think that you just try to make it as like boring as possible fucking I don't know i've never thought about that really i don't have any interest in killing people really yeah really i don't i feel like uh that's not healthy i feel like you should have a little bit of interest so you know not to do it i have no interest bro you're the one that's talking about murdering people i know and i feel like that means that it that it's going to rear its ugly head at some point for you, and you're not going to know how to react to the situation within your own brain chemistry.

You're going to be like, oh, I'm going to have to act on this impulse because I've never had it before. No, I know. You don't know how to silence your impulses, and that's one of the most important things to self-control. You're nuts. Bro, we need to start taking yoga. Yeah, I do need to get a little more flexible. You've been looking stiff as fuck. I know I'm stiff as fuck.

And I just want to do some chaturanga, bro. I'm trying to do a vinyasa now real quick, bro. I don't like yoga. It's too hard. Yoga is like insanely difficult. Let's do yoga for complete beginners or something like that. I did yoga like freshman year of college. We had to do like a course and I had to do like a yoga class one day and it was so hard and i was embarrassing myself yeah because you were probably

just trying to look cool and stare at stare at butts and yoga pants and shit like that you weren't taking your practice seriously bro you didn't fucking hit your own that's not yoga bro that's meditation bro you've obviously never done a fucking yoga class that has a true vinyasana. I haven't. It's going to end with a om. I don't understand that. Why? It's a grounding sound.

Because you've never done it. Try an om. I've done it, bro. No, bro, you haven't. You don't even fucking meditate, bro. I'm more a fan of the complete silence while I meditate. and i actually did used to meditate every single day for a year twice a day then why couldn't you control your heart rate i can't you can lower it yeah like wim hof yes no wim hof does not lower my heart rate until like two minutes later but i'm saying he can lower his

heart rate like whenever he wants like he could bring it up to 120 just sitting here. Anyone can bring it up. Bringing it up to 120 is the easiest part. What about bringing it down? You just take short breaths. Then you take longer breaths, and you put all the air in your stomach. I think I can just think about my heart, and it slows down, dude. I think I have that much control.

I think I can control the contractions of my fucking heart like I control my fist closing. That would be cool. That would be pretty interesting. I think I can. Have you ever seen Wim Hof fighting off diseases? Yes, dude. We've talked about that before. Yeah.

We've hit that one. He drank a fucking... What else do we have on the list? What else? What else? Alex Cooper. Now we've talked about that. Nancy Pelosi's a fucking...

Nancy Pelosi sucks. Insider trading bitch. Didn't get my raise. Health insurance premiums. Went to the bank. I said I didn't see you at the club. I was at the bank. Neo-Nazis.

The church is full of child molesters. We're just hitting all of our... Have we talked about Texas? No, but we're also like at an hour no we're not bro let's push let's push ourselves a little bit bro let's really push ourselves for this last fucking minute but we got to throw the ads in here too oh fuck are you gonna you better read them long though it's five minutes for probably like three ads um alright what are we

let's this is gonna be on Tuesday so probably I either just caught a storm or my next or he's in prison or I'm in prison getting fucked

by Tom Mullins yeah just fucking face deep in his pubes um I actually have to run and get a fucking tooth cleaning right now yeah you do um yeah just fucking face deep in his pubes um I actually have to run and get a fucking tooth cleaning right now yeah you do but yeah just I guess fucking check us out or fucking buy our merch

and shit like that did you read the merch playbook yeah I did uh no you just read the headline of the email yeah well check out our fucking merch dude we should do some live shows sometime soon i would like to i'd be down we're in new york stand with nick and kb yeah or we could do it myself we could also i'll be down and uh we also uh have the green light to

do that at the cellar as well oh fuck yeah my buddy who works there hit me up and said if we want to do what we did at the stand at the cellar we can do that should we do that are we ready i'm definitely ready to do that this is basically me passing you at the cellar no it's not then how come you're gonna get on stage there because of my doing i guess yeah congratulations bro i'm the new gnome i'm the new sd i'm basically the booker at the cellar right now fuck yeah People at the fucking cellar will know those names that I just dropped. I know them. All right. I know them.

Damn, bro. That was a bar right there. I know them. Yo. All right. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you guys next week. Shout out to Owen.

Shout out to Owen. See you guys next week. Peace. All right. Thanks, bros.