Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 53 - Stand Up Lives Matter

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 53 - Stand Up Lives Matter (BONUSN EPISODE) - Also available on YouTube!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is March 30th. It is Wednesday afternoon. It's approximately 3 55 p.m we're doing a little bonus episode today it's the log cabin chronicles we are up in sass's log cabin up in new hampshire

we are all up in that bitch we got fucking as usual little sasquatch tyler owen and me yep what's up brother dude i had a lot of people hitting me up because they thought that you were killing yourself i had a lot of people hitting me up too surprise i don't know what the hell that was all about because you were acting like hike yeah but it was one of those hikes. You know what I mean? No. A final hike. It was. Or when you posted that one Instagram of you getting a wind whipped face like you were a lone wolf in the wilderness. I was a lone wolf in the wilderness.

I was the only person on the trail. You looked as happy as I've ever seen you too. I pulled in and there was one car. Damn. And there's probably a dead body in it it was like a 73 pinto it was an old ass car not quite very funny very funny but not quite but if people are people are just worried about you people are worried about you but they shouldn't be it was a great hike yeah what did you what'd you do the whole time it was uh i felt like that hike was making up for everybody saying that your last

couple of hikes have been a little bitch made. People were saying that you're a little bit of a huge pussy. And that one was not bitch made at all though. Um, so actually it was a little bitch made. I didn't do the whole thing. I can get into it though. So I did summit a mountain though.

Um, basically I was doing this like Lafayette loop, At last. I can get into it, though. So I did summit a mountain, though. Basically, I was doing this, like, Lafayette loop, which basically you – I think I talked about this last episode, but you summit three mountains in one hike. And it's like – I forget what the first one is called, but the other ones are called Mount Lincoln and Mount Lafayette. And I summited the first one, which was like 4,700 feet elevation. What kind of gain? How steep was it? What was the grade of the slope? Let me find that for you right now, brother. Anything over 18% is grueling.

So it was Little Haystack Mountain 4,725 feet And then the next one is Mount Lincoln 5,089 And then the next one is North Lincoln Oh wait nevermind Then the next one is Mount Lafayette Which is 4,200

But basically I So First of all I was in, like, shin-deep snow the entire time. Damn. So, like, a lot of snow, powder, so it wasn't, like, too bad. But I wasn't expecting there to be that much snow at all. And I expected it – like, dude, the only reason that I even was able to do the hike was because like apparently like there was one dude that I assume was in front of me. Like a couple – like however much in front of me.

He did the hike that day. It was the other car. Yeah. The only reason I was able to do that was because I could follow his footsteps. If he wasn't there, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Or he or she. Did you ever wind up seeing him? Or them.

And no, I never saw them. Damn. Yeah. So it was – dude, it was them. Damn. Yeah. So it was – dude, it was amazing. It was great. What was your favorite part about it? The solitude, the views, the Nature Valley bars?

No, Cliff bars only. And I – the best part was probably the peak. Bro, you know, Cliff bars are 100% sugar. You know that that's like twice as much sugar as you need. Yeah, but I needed them to fuel up. I was eating peanut M&Ms. I was eating peanut M&Ms and cliff bars. But I only had one cliff bar on the mountain.

It wasn't that long. It was probably like five hours. It was like six and a half miles, I think. Dude, so basically you get to the top of like little Haystack mountain And then you are walking along like The peaks of the mountains For like three miles

That's like the rest of the hike like when you summit all those Mountains you're walking along like The top of the mountains The ridges I got to the top and it had to have been like 80 mile per hour winds Crazy Crazy winds dude i and i like quickly like took a video of the wind and then i like sprinted back to the trail because

it was i was so cold you took a video of the wind yeah what did the wind look like no i took a video of like how windy it was i wanted to to show you. What were you filming? Myself. Oh, just your face or whatever. Got you. I thought you were just filming out into the distance, taking a picture of the wind. Dude, listen to this wind.

I mean, that's a violent wind. I mean, it was crazy. That's a pretty good win, dude. And I had to, like, hide behind. I was going to talk shit on that win, but that was pretty fucking, that was pretty windy, my brother. Yeah. It probably, I don't know how, I don't really know how to judge it. It was the strongest win that I've ever been in. Like, I could lean into it, and, like, it would, I could stay up.

It was that strong. You could do a little Michael Jackson lean. Yeah, exactly. Or the video with the dude and the fucking american flag in the middle of the street that shit's sweet yeah it was awesome um it wasn't it was freezing out in the morning it was like the feels like was like negative five so i was a little nervous about that um i was like this might be too cold to do once i got out on the trail who'd you say that to just yourself myself yeah uh Once I got out on the trail. Who did you say that to? Just yourself?

Myself. Yeah. Once I got out on the trail, it was super warm. Like, I was, like, sweating. But once I got up there, dude, frostbite. I could feel frostbite coming in on my face instantly, so that's why I had to get back down. I couldn't have done three miles in that wind. Yeah, you would have lost your cheek. I would have died, I think, if I did three miles in that.

You would have had to get your cheek amputated. Yeah. I've heard that golfers, I heard for golfers, it's healthy for them to talk to themselves when they're on the golf course. Like positive self-talk, just being like, hey, you're going to hit this putt just a little bit to the left, focus, all that type of shit. Most definitely. Do you find that that's the same way for a hiker? I don't know. Did you talk out loud to yourself?

That's my question. No, never. You didn't say any words out loud the whole time? Did you try some jokes out loud? I did't know. Did you talk out loud to yourself? That's my question. No, never. You didn't say any words out loud the whole time? Like try some jokes out loud? I did some singing. Did you? I was playing music the whole way up. You were singing along?

Yeah, it was a very, very great time. What type of gay shit were you listening to? A lot of folk. A lot of folk tunes. Mumford? No. Classic folk. Oh, Dylan. listened to a lot of folk a lot of folk tunes mumford no classic folk oh uh dylan dylan little dylan little this little that it was great a little cash it was a it was a great time when you turn 21 you're gonna have to stop listening to bob dylan i'm i'm sorry to tell you no dude when i was on my way down i took some crazy. Like shit were like the type of falls where like I was falling actively and in my head I'm like, yeah, this isn't good.

Was it like in Lone Survivor when they're like sprinting down the mountain and he just has to keep on jumping off the peaks? Dude, just sliding down on my back for like 15 seconds straight. Just like trying to grab on to like anything oh man at least you're on your back at least you're not tumbling forward yeah that shit gets that shit gets horrifying yeah and then uh i took a hike in hawaii when i was out there and there was like uh there's like a narrow ass like ridge you had to walk out to get to this like lookout point and i like i got on all all fours and crawled yeah rich like i was like i'm not about to stand on this and fucking trust my wobbly ass baby deer

ankles and fucking fall to my death it's not happening so i crawled like an absolute bitch yeah when i was uh when i was in my when after my third fall like big fall this was the biggest one that i was like yeah this is very bad um i started going like sliding down on my butt for like the for like the steep parts damn dude you were really out there you were really out in the wilderness yeah it was good it was a good time did you see your reflection went to the pub after oh you did yeah i hit the pub yo bro mad a fan no way it was actually super weird It was actually super weird. It was actually super weird.

I was sitting – or it wasn't weird. It was just like a very like odd timing. I was sitting like by myself at the bar. I got a burger and a Coors, of course. Very nice. And – Official beer of son of a boy, dad. Yep.

And I like sat there just eating and like i was like on my phone and um then like eventually i think i went at like 4 40 probably so like around like five it started getting more crowded and i'm like i just like i'm like in the act of paying like i'm about to leave and like this kid sits down next to me and he like just sat there like on his phone too like he was by himself and then like after like five minutes he's like no fucking way and i was any dude he tried he tried to pay for my whole meal and my drinks and i was like absolutely not why because i don't like making people pay for like i don't want people like if some if i'm at a bar and someone's like oh and buy you a drink like sure but like, absolutely not. Why? Because I don't like making people pay for it. Like, I don't want people, like, if I'm at a bar and someone's like, oh, I'm going to buy you a drink. Like, sure, but, like, I'm not going to make this kid pay for my fucking burger and drinks.

I'm almost the other way when I'm at a bar. If somebody wants to buy me a drink for the most part, I'm good. Because, like, there's no such thing as just the drink without the quid pro quo. Like, they're always going to want, like, a conversation. And I don't mind talking to people, but I don't like when people feel like they've, like, bought my time to talk to me. It's like, well, you can't leave for, like, a certain amount of time because you have to finish this fireball shot that you're sipping super slow. Yeah.

I don't know. I just didn't let them. And then I went home, and then I fell asleep instantly. And I slept for like 12 hours. It's good for your body, dude. It's good for your soul. Yeah, I'm still pretty exhausted. I just had to drink a coffee before this.

You're drinking a Coors Light. I just saw it. Well, that was only because we had a pretty heated conversation before this, and I had to cool down. Best way to do that is tapping the fucking Rockies. Yeah. I think I'm going to go home tomorrow, probably. Back to New York, you mean?

Oh, no, no, no. Home to Massachusetts. Yeah? You just have been up there chilling? Yeah, it's getting a little lonely. Damn, dude. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to go out to Denver for the weekend and then go back on Monday.

To Massachusetts? No, to New York. Okay. I heard that Chicken Fry is moving to Los Angeles. Is that real? I saw she posted a story about that, but I didn't know if she was just, like, super fucked up or something. Why would she be super fucked up? I didn't know if she was, like, fucking high or some shit.

She's always fucked up. Oh, from one thing or the fucking other. Oh, and that's accurate information, correct? Yeah. I heard she's switching over to pills as like her brand. She got like a big Percocet tattoo on her shoulder. It's just a circle. And it says sleep while you're dead in the middle of it.

Which will be much sooner than you expect. Which is impending. No, shout out to pill head phase is the best phase of a lot of people's lives. A lot of people latch onto that pillhead phase and never leave it. And pillheads buy merch as well. Oh, what? That should be in some of our merch. Pillheads buy merch.

And fucking... You got a fat ass chunky sweatshirt with... That's just perfect to fucking dope fiend lean in. To fall over halfway. While you're standing up and just fall asleep on your feet is she actually moving to uh is she actually moving to la uh yeah she said her and o'malley are gonna do a couple months there to start and see how they feel fucking hey must be nice i'm i'm like very very leaning towards never coming back to New York for an extended period of time.

Yeah, which is awesome because we signed a 16-month lease. Oh, you've been sleeping in his bed, right? Yeah. That's fire. No, tell me that ain't true. Dude, it's freezing in your room. Yeah, why is it so cold in there? I've been sleeping in there, too.

You guys were in my room? I just wanted to smell you, bro. What the fuck? I just wanted to smell your stink, bro. My room is freezing. My room just takes in whatever temperature is outside. So if it's like 60 degrees out, it's like 100 degrees in my room. So I'm hoping maybe getting out of there for the winter might be a good idea.

Or the summer. Dude, I just don't know like what are the logistics like if I was like actually like hey I'm moving from New York would they fire me no they'd give me a pay cut I don't know I don't think they would as long as you're doing shit I mean you've made that karate video today I think they'd be on my ass

I think they'd be on my ass which I hate who would yeah I think it'd be on my ass. I think they'd be on my ass, which I hate. Who would? Yeah, I think it would be back to make sure there's a sketch a week. Gas? Gauze? There would be meetings every week, just like the old days. Bro, you haven't had any meetings since you've been under my tutelage, brother. I mean, I'm working.

It's not like I'm not doing anything. Yeah, exactly. And as long as you can prove that, you have to start your own yak. You got to start your yak with like your teddy bears and teacups or whatever's in your childhood bedroom. Dude, I don't think the podcast has been very funny recently. I think it's better when I'm not in New York. Yeah. Like what if I never came back to New York and the podcast just like exploded?

I wouldn't give a fuck, dude. You wouldn't care about that? No, I'm saying I want you to do what you want to do. I'm not going to be like, I need you around me. Well, that's the thing. It's like, what if I just moved out of New York and then, like, say, oh, you're going to go do Neighborhood Eats and you want me to come? I'll just go with you. It's not like I'm going to, like, quit the job.

Yeah, you would have to come to Neighborhood Eats. And you're going to have to – and when we neighborhood eat next time, you're going to have to do more. Yeah, that would be fine with me. I'm pretty worried about the rent. Yeah, I thought that that's what you were going to ask the logistics of. Like, what would be the logistics if, like – Yeah, we signed an extended lease. You have to pay for your – Don't sweat it.

Don't sweat it. It'll be good. You and Dukes could take care of of that i cannot take care of my current portion we're starting that's why i'm also asking for a raise i'm asking for a raise again just to pay i'm gonna say look i'm gonna say look i'm it's gonna be working less and i also want more money how do we make this happen i I think that's exactly what Brandon Walker did. Dude, I'm dying to know how much Brandon Walker's making now. Because ever since he had that contract negotiation, he's been in the best mood ever.

Yeah, he's a nice person. He's whipping around a pocket watch like he's fucking a cockney dude from the 1800s. When I asked him how much, too, he just smiled. He's like, not that much. A cocky dude from the 1800s wearing a waistcoat. When I asked him how much, too, he just smiled. He's like, not that much. He said he got three. It's a lot. It's got to be a lot.

3X his cart's hour or whatever that was. Did he really? Actually, I don't know if that's out. Dude, he's like the Jeffrey Epstein of fucking Mississippi. But in the money way. In the money way. Jeffrey Epstein's not even a symbol for pedophilia anymore.

He's a symbol for just being a rich-ass dude. Yeah. Dude, he's like the Harvey Weinstein of Mississippi. Super successful producer. Super successful, very wealthy. And beloved for a certain period of time. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I mean. He's like the Hitler in just the incredible drive. He has a really strong drive. Genocide aside. Fuck yes. Dude, my wife hit me up yesterday, and she was like— That's dope. You guys haven't been talking a lot right i know

finally she sent me a letter back from wherever she is i guess she banged your line i guess it's still a sales conference season uh where the fuck she's at but uh she was like i finally heard back from these uh ukrainian refugees like uh like it it would be like a son and uh and her mom that'd be staying with us i was like what the there was no prior conversation oh man that would be interesting she like, I think they're real. And she sent me, like, a link to someone's, like, LinkedIn. This woman's LinkedIn or something.

She's, like, a biology professor from the Ukraine or something like that. And she wants to, like, put two people in our— In your apartment? In our little-ass New York apartment with fucking, like, not even a full spare room that's just like piled up with like folded laundry it's it would be the worst decision of all time to have like a little ukrainian refugee boy they said the kid is majoring in math how is a 14 year old boy majoring in math he's probably probably just make that shit up they definitely make it up the lady that's like goodwill hunting or that's like when ben affleck says in Good Will Hunting

that they might be in the same history class. Yeah, was it a surveys course? A surveys math that he's in. But she had a New York phone number. I think that there's just people in New York who might be a little bit Ukrainian who heard that there's refugee programs going out, and they're like, we're fucking jumping all over this.

Yeah, they treat it like birthright. Yeah, it's like free rent. Like, oh, we're going to go live in Brooklyn. Like, oh, how nice. That sounds fantastic for a couple months. Studying abroad. Yeah, study abroad. The math programs in New York are outstanding.

The work exchange program. Yeah, I just can't can't imagine, like, having, like, a little 14-year-old that I'm, like, helping out with his math homework and fucking feeding him Lucky Charms every day or some shit. That would be crazy. Like, coming out of my Tidy Whities,

like, making eggs, and he's there, like, smashing two trucks into each other or some shit like that. Wait, so what did you say? No. You said we got to talk about it? I said no. I was like, first of all, you're racist.

We didn't take the Honduran refugees in. Just because we have these white European refugees, it's a tragedy? You guys should have taken in Hasbulla. Hasbulla, I think, is a billionaire himself. I think Hasbulla is an oligarch caleb had did the interview on his yacht his fucking he definitely was gifted a yacht by putin for being their greatest national treasure why does that come out on a sunday yeah sunday

that'll be good i'm excited to see that sunday special little sunday conversation with the boy do you think that shit's gonna to get like 20 million views? I don't know. I hope it does. I feel like it's first ever interview, man. It is. That is big. And then they're going to put out a couple shorts, and then everyone's going to be like,

this is why we need to be doing shorts. Just completely not taking in the part that Hasbulla is on it. Caleb's interviewed 20 million views because there's shorts of it on YouTube. Because Hasbulla is on it. Caleb's interviewed 20 million views because they're shorts of it on YouTube. Because Hasbulla is short. Yeah. If Hasbulla was normal size, it wouldn't have done well. Yeah. I hope it does well.

I hope it's not one of the things where people, like, drum it up so much. But I think that Sunday conversations are going to be – they're like the new hot ones. They're just going to start getting better and bigger and bigger and bigger. And like, once you find out you can get exclusives or new people hear about it, they see other super famous people on it. It's going to be fucking huge. Yeah.

I think it's going to, I mean, it already is. I mean, the Kodak black one has like 2 million views, doesn't it? Yeah. And then all those,

like, uh, like the clips that come out of it. It's just big, big cultural moments for the boy. it? Yeah. And then all the, like, the clips that come out of it. It's just big, big cultural moments for the boy. Yeah. Salute to fucking Caleb, bro. Shout him out, bro. Fucking go listen to...

One time, two times, bro. Love that guy. 51 Strokes. One time, two times. We freaking love that guy. That guy is the freaking homie. 51 Strokes is popping off right now. Oh, my God, dude.

I fucking love that golf shit. Honestly, they said that they're going to fold our YouTube into 51 Strokes. It's going to be called 51 Boy Dads. Or collabing channels. People still don't fucking get the name. Tech Guy Andrew was just like, is Sass's dad mad that you're calling him a boy? I was like, that's not what that's not what we're talking about at all that's not what we fucking mean

no no no no no and did you see will smith fucking slapped chris rocks i was literally just about to break something up about that. I was going to say, I saw a headline today that was like, Jada breaks her silence. And it was like a seven-thread, like a seven-tweet thread. And then I finally found what she said, and she was like, it's healing season, and I'm here for it. And that was her breaking her silence. That was it. People are still tweeting by the hour as if it just happened. It's insane.

Yeah, it kind of died off pretty quick. Died off? I feel like people are hanging on to it like it's, like, their last shred of relevancy. Like, people are just giving, like, and he laughed at the joke at first. I mean, it's easy to talk about. Yeah. It's a massive cultural moment. I mean, it's easy to talk about, so I get it. Yeah. It's a massive cultural moment.

I wish Chris Rock would say something. You know, that would be sick. That would be tight. I know. He'll never fucking talk again. Yeah. What if he got his mouth slapped off, bro? I feel bad.

I feel like I'm a comedian, and I'm scared of what I can say on stage. That's how I feel for you. I'm terrified of my job. I do stand-up at least once every six months, and I don't know what I'm going to be able to talk about anymore. You kiss your wife goodbye when you're on your way to stand-up, not knowing if you're going to come home. You don't know.

What? you're on your way to stand-up not knowing if you're going to come home you don't know dude being a stand-up comedian is legitimately more dangerous than being a police officer stand-up lives matter for sure bro we need to make the flag and just replace one of the stripes in the american flag with a stand-up mic a mic stand exactly you can't do that bro you can't you can't just go up there and hit someone because you don't agree with them. Over words. Also, wait. What the fuck happened with that girl from Batman?

She, like, said some shit. Everybody's getting came for. Everybody's getting their souls snatched left and right. She said some shit about Will Smith. There was cursing and assault at the Oscars last night, and immediately just everybody brought up everything against her. Apparently she was fucking Jaden Smith when he was like 11. She was just lusting over him.

No, bro, she was fucking him. She was just deep-throating a banana fucking long form in front of him and then pulling it back out like a magician pulling ribbon out of her mouth. I read the interview with her and she's like, I'll be like, oh my god, you're so handsome. And then she'd be like,

you're 14. I can't say that. And then she would proceed to say another thing. I bet your dick is so big. Oh, what's gotten into me? Jden's goofy ass was definitely just like finger painting at the time he was definitely just dipping popsicle sticks in elmer's glue and licking them like lollipops like he was memorizing his lines for the karate kid yeah there's no chance that he was actually locked in on some fucking primo puss no i think zoe

kravitz was in like bands in philly at the time i think she was in uh i think she was in a band called like elevator fight or some shit like that or some i don't even know but i put zoe kravitz is a fucking success story especially for somebody who has uh parents that have blue names on wikipedia i don't know i don't really know anything about her i I didn't even know who she was until Batman. What about that Drake line when he's like,

like, Zoe's mama, I go hippie or whatever. That's talking about, I think, Lisa Bonet. Maybe Lisa Bonet is her mom. Am I right about that, Tyler? Double check that. Tyler's checking that out.

I think everyone's that guy. Going at her for being a nepotism baby though while defending jayden smith yeah that's so funny people are just like coming for like that's the same yeah joey kravitz's parents lenny kravitz and lisa bonet it's probably not even the same it's like way bigger that jayden smith's dad is will smith yeah much more of a nepotism baby. Yeah. And like, the biggest actor ever. Who else?

Tom Segura is like, couldn't be more with the crosshairs of everything. Wait, Tom Segura? Yeah, he's like, posting like, fuck Will Smith

and shit like that. And people are like, didn't you fall over one time? I didn't see that. Videos are like, is this you? And it's him like, trying to do a layup and falling over. Oh, really? I didn't see that. Videos are like, is this you? And it's him trying to do a layup and falling over. Oh, really?

I didn't see that. I saw his video of him getting off his private jet, which I was a little surprised that Tom Segura takes a private jet. Dude, I think Tom Segura is crazy paid. Yeah, I mean, he's rich as fuck. He's fucking mint money. They're just rich. Dude, those guys must make so much money.

Their podcast is huge. And they're like selling out arenas. And that's what yours could be if you posted shorts, bro. Yeah. If we were on Facebook, that would be us. If we were on Facebook, we'd be riding private jets. I'm going to look up right now and see if, what's it called? Two bears, one cave?

Yeah. I'm going to see if they have a Facebook page. Oh, they do. How many followers? Two million? 26K. I'm going to join the group. Oh, I have to request

to join it. Oh, it's probably a private group. Who is fattest? I have to answer this question. Who is the fattest tom or bert i'm gonna say what's your secret what's your secret to success what do you guys how do you guys grow so much on facebook when did you guys join facebook how'd you guys hack facebook to get 26 000 followers i feel like if we made a facebook it would get like 15 followers max

it would get reported for being fake we'd have to like prove that it was us do you have a facebook like or did you ever like did you ever were you ever like in an era of like posting shit online where like you were posting like shit on facebook i mean i remember when facebook was invented no i mean like but like when you were like actually doing this like as like your career were you ever posting anything on facebook or no was it all over not for bars not at barstool no yeah i I think I might have posted show flyers on Facebook. Yeah. But that was even before, I don't know.

I don't fucking know, dude. I don't know how social media is going to evolve. I don't know if Facebook is just always going to be for old people, or will it turn into TikTok is for old people when the people who are on TikTok get older, and they just stay with the medium that they can express express themselves best in and that they're most versatile with. Or will there be specific mediums that find themselves tailored for old people? I don't know. I'm like – I mean maybe it's ignorant of me to say. That question was deep as fuck, bro.

Yeah. I'm like in the – I'm in like the – Chill the fuck out, bro. I feel like there's never going to be another like big social media, but I guess it's probably not true because TikTok is like what, like three years old? And it's like the biggest social media platform. I got an email today, dude, from Gaz saying that we need to get on MySpace. Should I run that one back? You guys must have not heard my joke.

I heard you. I was laughing. I had banana in my mouth. So I got an email today from Gaz saying that we got to be on MySpace. MySpace? They said we got to be posting. What's next? Live Journal? I don't even know what that is, bro.

We're getting on Zanga. God damn, you are old. He said we got to be posting shorts on the Venmo transaction feed. That's what's going to take us to the top. That's the only way people know who you really... You have to put it in with every $5 that you send out to your fans to make sure they're still listening. It's the only way people know who you're really. You have to put it in with every $5 that you send out to your fans

to make sure they're still listening. It's the only way to grow. Bro, that's what FaZe Banks is doing. Let's start a Patreon behind the boss's back.

Is that a fireable offense? If they found out we were just raking in like 50k a month? I mean, how's that different from Frank the Tank making $30,000 a month i mean what's how's that different from frank the tank making uh thirty thousand dollars a month on cameo i don't think it's thirty thousand dollars a month

i think he's made i think like his first couple months he made 40k no that was two years ago he made 40k in two months and now he continues to go with that clip he shoots he shoots cameos all day from the office he He's a double paycheck boy. Who recorded the video of him out in public making cameos, doing cameos? Was that Avery? Somebody just saw him outside the Mets game, I think. Anytime he has a couple seconds, he just gets that many cameos through. Cameo is something I don't see myself ever doing.

That would be exhausting. I'd rather panhandle. I'd rather sit on the train and shit myself and ask for money that way that that seems like a lot of work do you miss the subway dude there was this fucking super dangerous looking dude bro he had long ass nails and he was just like staring down every woman that sat down next to him on the train you would have loved it dude this super dangerous looking dude um you don't miss it today this morning i saw tyler or i guess it wasn't tyler o day the empire state building posted a picture of midtown from the top of the empire state building and they were like perfect day in midtown and i looked at it for like 13 or like i looked at it for like 15 seconds just in disgust. I was like, ugh.

I'm so happy I'm not there. You told me you loved New York a few weeks ago. Things change, bro. That was the longest period of time that I've ever liked New York was when we moved into our new apartment. Do you just need to move again? No, dude. I mean, I've been here for two years.

I've been here for two years. I've been here for two years. Dang. And I ain't like it. I have an idea. What about... And I ain't liking it one bit. What if you could live in New York and study abroad? What am I studying, dude?

You could do a month in like each town. K-town, Chinatown, Little Italy, et cetera. Oh, God, no. That sounds like hell. And try and just fully engulf yourself in that culture. Yeah, engulf yourself. What about going to fucking Astoria, bro? I will tell Oh, God, no. That sounds like hell. And try and just fully engulf yourself in that culture. Yeah, engulf yourself. What about going to fucking Astoria, bro? I will tell you one thing, dude.

I miss the bodegas so bad. Yes. Bro, they just don't got bodegas out here. Some people won't get that. But bodega cats? No, dude. Bodega cats gives you life. This is a New York segment.

New Yorkers only. I'll put on my fucking Timbs and my New York segment New Yorkers only I'll put on my fucking Timbs And my New York Yankees fitted baseball cap Let me tell you one thing There's nothing like walking into the bodega Grabbing an iced cappuccino Chopping it up with everyone behind the counter Plus appreciating the dude who's blasting

Oy Como Va Through his backpack speaker That's the fucking life get a chopped cheese while you're wearing the butters bro in that small moment nothing else matters not the fucking butters yeah dude i can't wait you you gotta get back here dude bro bro got no bev i was dude i was at the bar in new hampshire last night and this guy next to me was eating Bro got no Bev. Dude, I was at the bar in New Hampshire last night, and this guy next to me was eating a burger with no drink,

and I was like, no Bev, bro? I was like, nah, tell me, bro, I got no Bev. The hockey way. The hockey. Oh, shit, dude. We got to have the hockey come to your bat mitzvah, whatever that is. I was like yeah Wait what the hell is the aki

The aki is the dude Behind the counter Who like makes the Sandwiches I guess That uh Oh I will say Chopped cheeses are

Fucking amazing Me and Owen went through A big chopped cheese kick At one point Just every night Slamming chopped cheeses How much It's literally just a

Cheeseburger sub though how much is that your local borrega oh bro they give those shits out for free for real yo bro that's just the love of the city new yorkers do it different man people from upstate wouldn't understand dude they don't have it fucking like us true new y. Dude, you love New York. I love New York. I'm a New Yorker at heart. Yes, dude. I love the mayor. For sure, bro. I love AOC.

I love AOC. She's my goat. Did you guys not realize that was an AOC tweet that I read? Did you know that? No. Which one? Which one? Which one?

There's nothing. She tweeted, there's nothing like walking into the bodega, grabbing an iced cappuccino, chopping it up with everyone behind the counter, plus appreciating the dude who's blasting Oy Como Va through his backpack speaker. In this small moment, nothing else matters. Today is a good day. I thought you were just riffing off the cuff that you went off i thought you're going off too we'll clip it oh you guys thought i knew you guys

thought i knew what oy como va was yeah i did i was like that was the most nuanced statement sass has ever made bro there ain't nothing like there ain't nothing like going into the bodega and just chopping it up with everyone behind the counter. In that brief moment, me and Rome were like, oh, this podcast has a chance. Sad I came up with this, dude. We got to put that in a short. We'll leave this part out in a short. That's taking us to the top. That's a short.

That is a short right there. Clip that first short and don't clip the explanation. We'll just see if people know. That'll be a social experiment, okay? So if people can call out that you stole that from AOC, then they're true AOC fans. Bro, ain't too many AOC fans left. There ain't too many of us.

Doesn't she have, like, 60 million Twitter followers? Nah, bro, she's been losing followers. I heard she got an F on her Facebook grade. No, bro, she's been losing followers. I heard she got an F on her Facebook grade. No, bro. Her and Ilhan Omar have been slacking on their socials. Bro, she's born and raised in Queens. Eat the rich. Fucking Astoria, stand up, dude.

Eat the fucking rich. She wore the tax the rich shit, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's a girl boss. Tax the rich shit, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, she did. She's a girl boss. Tax the rich boy shorts on in Congress. She kept on flashing the tax the rich thong out there, showing everybody what the fuck she's made of.

Dude, we got to go to her bar that she used to bartend at. Where's that? We got to do some research. Tyler, can you – Did she used to be a bartender? Which bar? What bar did she used – Yeah, Jamie, pull that up. She used to work at Coyote Ugly.

She used to work at the gym. She used to be a bookie over at the gym. Really? Yes, dude. She'd take bets. Flats Fix. Flats Fix. I love that bar. It's at Taqueria in Union Square.

I go there all the time. Yeah. Dude, imagine if you were just in there again and fucking shit-faced on Cinco de Mayo and AOC comes out with your spicy Marg. I would, uh... That's the liberal dream. Let's just say I would lose my shit, dude. Yes, dude. I would love that shit. Would you say you stan AOC?

I would love that shit. Would you say you stan AOC? I think she's my girl boss, and I think that she is like my queen. I think stan culture is a little bit fucked up, but I'm an acolyte of her. I'd be one of her 12 apostles. Follow her to the end of the earth. What type of time are you on with? Well, so... Hold on, I gotta turn. I just had to fix my camera. Why? What type of time are you on with? Well, so...

Hold on, I gotta turn. I just had to fix my camera. Everyone knows you can only stand like two or three politicians at once. Right? Yeah, you get three. So, yeah, three on a good day. I mean, AOC's... Obama is my forever stand. Well, Obama's a lock. I only have two.

Obama's locked in, bro. He's a core. He's a core member. Who are your other two stans? I'd say probably AOC and Hillary. Really? Yeah. Bro, Yang?

Yeah, what about Yang Gang or Barney Fine? Yang's not really from New York, though, which is my problem. What? What? That was an AOC quote as well. Yeah. That is an AOC quote as well. Yeah, that is an AOC quote. Who is this dude I'm thinking of? Dude, Trump's, I know you guys already talked about this on the Yak,

because I was listening, I was eavesdropping. Stop, dude, don't fucking, don't party Frank. Trump's golf thing is so fucking funny. What'd you say? Oh, Trump's golf shit? It was so funny. Yeah. Well, a lot of people have been asking, what did he say?

How did he start it out? He was like, since people are going to be asking about this. Many people have been saying. Yeah. Oh, that's unreal. It's a brilliant way to start any point you make. I know. You got to let him back on Twitter, dude.

He would go off. I mean, I think that they said that he's already eight. He'd be eight points ahead of Biden right now if the election. In what, like approval rating or what? In if however they do the polling, Reuters or whatever, for the next election. Like if he were to run again and like 12 points ahead of, what's her name? Kamala. Kamala.

Do you think he's going to run again? Or wait, no. Do you? Wait. Yes. And that's not even what I meant to say. We already talked about that. Did you see that Biden's approval rating dropped even more today?

What? It's at the lowest it's ever been, bro. Dude, that's why. Okay. So maybe I'm going to have to start standing him instead of Barney Frank now just to bring him back to life. He's like a fucking, he's like a dying tinkerbell and he needs our applause so he can fucking wake back up stop dying yeah that presidency is struggling dude did you

see that keemstar would you see what keemstar was saying now dude keemstar was saying that fucking all the russian officials were going back into a bunker right now because they're about to fucking nuke keith really yes dude keem star saying it i started freaking out and get on that first keem star is fucking way more ahead of the game than shifter you think keem star is who i look to shifter for sports sure whatever but keem star for that international flavor keem star put me on to some shit dude bffs should make a huge segue into politics and just start having like like they should squash the beef they should squash like the the russia and ukraine conflict by having them both on bffs yeah honestly okay we're gonna play a quick uh fuck or or no fuck game with you boys.

What are the games they play on BFFs? Fuck, marry, kill. Pass or tap? Pass or tap, nuclear holocaust. All right, Zelensky, we're going to see if you can name these TikTokers and Josh Richards. We're going to see if you can name the soldiers in Zelensky's army. I've literally never heard of that person they can't let zolinski uh they can't let zolinski on to bffs because he's he's so standable that he might take josh's spot he's gonna take one of their spots but he is such a stan have you seen his green shirt his green

shirt that green shirt is like the biggest thing that's ever happened. It's all in the news. Zelensky's green shirt will define Ukraine for generations. Oh, yeah. People are probably just bean flicking fucking coast to coast about fucking Zelensky. Men and women alike. Women in the neckbeards alike. We, uh, I mean, if Full Send can have on Trump, then BFFs should be able to have on all of these people.

Yeah. I mean, Full Send is pretty big, but. So is BFFs. But Full Send's a monster. Full Send is a fucking monster. How about memory beefing with fucking Dave? Oh, dude. Don't even get me started on that.

That guy's such a fucking prick. Seriously, dude. If you come get me started on that. That guy's such a fucking prick. Seriously, dude. If you come after Prez, you best not miss. His army's coming with him. All right, Menary? That's all I'm going to say. And he acted like he didn't know fucking Dave was at that fucking Celtics game and he was talking shit about him, dude.

Fucking. You know what you did, Menary. All right? You're bringing disgrace to Kyle's game. If I was there, I would have beat his fucking ass. fucking ass and that's a promise that's an understatement can we put in the clip of what you would have done to him will smith style drop it in right here what do you think of that what do you think of that bitch you were light on your feet for real i know bro that's that's people don't like that's what 12 hours of sleep will do to you.

People in the comments literally have no idea what it means to be a good boxer. They don't know that it's all about footwork, that footwork's more important than being able to punch hard. I hate that people think I was joking, too. I know. That's super frustrating. They don't have the stamina. Bro, I'm a stand-up comedian. That's my life. That's super. It's just frustrating. They don't have the stamina. Bro, I'm a stand-up comedian.

That's my life. That's my passion. And my job was threatened. And just like most stand-ups, you also know the art of fighting. Joe Rogan. Ari. Exactly. Louis J. Gomez.

Kate Berlant. Yep. You fight, bro. And you'll Berlant. Yep. You fight, bro. And you'll fight for what's yours. I mean, it's crazy of me to say, but my fighting is almost better than my stand-up. Well, that's from state. And that's hard to pass. That's from back when you were at state.

You'd get out in the streets and fucking rumble. You were the true rumble fish up there Oh yeah When I was at Penn State I wrote about the boxing team So I was like friends with the dudes on the boxing team And they would just go out Searching for fights They'd be like you guys want to just go out and fight people And they'd come back like

20 minutes later just like kind of breathing a little bit heavy Just like laughing about How many people they beat the shit out of. Like right around 2, they would go out just as the bars were letting out and just go whip ass. It was so easy to find fights, and it definitely was not fair. These guys were fantastic fighters. Wait, so were they all just sober and everyone else was fucked up? I mean, they were like drinking too, but we were just like sitting in a dude's basement, and this one big-ass dude, Jerry, who was, like, a super senior.

He was, like, 26 years old and a senior. He would, like, tell everyone else. He'd be like, yo, Austin, you're trying to go fucking fight. And, like, Austin would come back out. These dudes were true rumblers. They got in a fight so bad, like a rumble so bad, that my one boy, Spud, got beat up by this guy, Austin, who was on the same team as ours in the rumble. But it was just, like, such a crazy rumble so bad that uh my one boy spud got got beat up by this guy austin who was on the same team as ours in the rumble but it was just like such a crazy rumble he just sat down on top of him and fucking spud came back and was like dude i was getting the shit beat out of me and austin

was like i was beating the shit out of somebody they just put the stories together the thing yeah that's awesome he had two black eyes like a panda bear. It was devastating. Maybe I'll go out and get in a fight tonight. It would do you such good. Honestly, you joining a fight club, starting a fight club. Willow Smith ruined that, though. Will Smith's daughter. She has that song.

Willow, what did Willow do? She has that song where she's like, I want to start a fight club. It's like, bitch, you're appropriating. Oh, so violence runs in the family. Bitch, you're fucking appropriating. Dude, you know what you're fucking appropriating dude you know what speaking of appropriating you know what else i heard the fucking matrix the movie the matrix is actually an appropriated story and it was originally about the black experience and everybody like going back to z, and then the fucking movie got whitewashed by fucking Hollywood. How fucking bullshit is that?

That's fucked up. If that doesn't piss you off, something's wrong with you. Oh, Will Smith was supposed to be in The Matrix. Damn, this shit comes fucking fast. I heard he pitched the whole idea. What the fuck? To culturally appropriate it? Yeah.

Damn, dude, I knew he was appropriating What are those pictures behind you Dogwood trees Oh shit Yeah Beautiful I painted those yesterday Bigger than a bouquet of dogwood flowers

You did Yeah Bro you're an artsy ass dude I know Shout out to the artsy ass dude Shout out to the artsy-ass dude. Shout out to the artsy-ass dudes. All right, bro. What are you about to have for dinner tonight?

Some fucking elk stew or some shit? Some deer chili? I have no idea what I'm going to have. I really don't know. I've been crushing a lot of ramen noodles recently. And I don't know why, but, like, dude, the cheap ramen noodles are so fucking good. I could eat those for every single meal. It's because there's, like, 1,000% of the salt that you need in fucking good. I could eat those for every single meal. It's because there's like a thousand percent of the salt that you need.

I know. I know, but they're so good. Yeah. You might as well just like bite into a block of salt. Well, that's only if you put all of the, uh, that's only if you put all of the flavor packets on them. Yeah. If you just use half. I only use half.

It'll only kill you by the time you're 40. Like, I'll put, like, I'll make two servings and put, like, one. So you're basically a Michelin star chef. I'm basically slamming, like, 6,000 calories of ramen noodles a day. But that's what you need to retain water when you're going on these high-altitude hikes. I know. I know. I know, dude. No, you have no idea.

I do know. I fucking hike and I do the treadmill on a fucking steep ass incline. I do it on 15 incline. So when I wind up going on hikes, it's a breeze.

I practice harder than I play. You've never been out on the mountains like I have. Dude, I would bound up the mountain. My hamstrings are exponentially stronger than yours. You don't hit RDLs like I have. Dude, I would bound up the mountain. My hamstrings are exponentially stronger than yours. You don't hit RDLs like I do.

Now I know your line. You don't even know what an RDL is? A Romanian deadlift? How does my dick taste? Does it taste as good as I would have imagined? I'm done. I'm fucking done with this bullshit. I'm fucking done with this bullshit.

All right, brother. Have a good day. What are you going to Denver or some shit? No, I don't actually know where I'm going. I'm probably just going to go home. That's the truest shit you ever said. I just go where the wind blows, brother. Fuck yes, brother.

Hey, until next time. All right, make sure you like this video and everything like that. Give us five stars on podcasts and Apple or on podcasts and Spotify. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Goodbye. Peace.

Hell yes. Good.