Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 55 - BACK

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 55 - BACK -- Sas & Rone discuss guns, battle rap, stand-up, & more -- Full episodes also available on YouTube!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today, it is Monday. It is April 11th. It is 4.30 p.m.

We are back at Barstool HQ, the home of content. The home of comedy. The home of comedy. If it's funny, it's going on here. Yep. If you ain't laughing, then it ain't Barstool. If you didn't vote for Joe Biden, you ain't black. Yep.

If it ain't racist, you ain't black. Yep. It ain't racist. It ain't barstool. Today, we're going to be talking about why the Black Lives Matter movement was a scam. I mean, that'll get our Twitters deactivated real fast for telling the truth. And none of that would have happened If Elon just stayed on the fucking board Like he was supposed to If he just stuck to the fucking plan Bro, people know I like to riff

There's no truth in anything I've ever said Once Of course, you came in lying today You lie like a rug That was all the energy That first 10 seconds was all my energy i know i could tell someone needs to go back to wherever the fuck you came from i know dude you were so energetic when we would pull up on you uh after a fat afternoon of sitting around

hop on the zoom you'd be fucking laughing fresh jokes right now i felt like we were pulling a dead body out of the ground it's a lot easier to be energetic when that's like the only thing you got to do and then like i'm not like in the office all day and i'm not like overhearing people being like yeah so zoe vibes is uh she got fucked raw can't you but can you believe that and i have to be like i don't know who that is that's what's draining you of energy kind of yeah why don't you just put in some headphones and rock back and forth like a normal artist? And then Frank leans over to me and he's like, the Mets, they're removing statistics from the board as we speak. No more batting averages.

No more batting averages on the Yankees. What was he even saying? I didn't even get the joke. And I'm like, yeah, that's tough. You just have to react to people. Did Nate come up and rub your shoulders today? He didn't give you a deep tish massage? No.

Well, that must have just been me. Nate's been a good guy. He's been keeping his distance ever since he told you he was going to come to your coffee and effectively ended your first quarter, your Q1 performance at Barstool Sports. Yeah, pretty much. No, Nate's been fine. No one's actually been bothering me at all um that's a lie i guess it's my only my second day back though we'll see yeah that's a lie people

are already bothering you shit list we should keep a fucking fat shit list right under the stools and stripes bro fucking salute man we need to write an anthem to this shit i know beautiful ass bar i like the old barstool logo better than this one. You could have stopped it. I like the old barstool. Yeah. Damn. Take me back. Take me back to the old days. Back in the days, dude.

So you made it back to New York City, dude. I'm happy to have you back. This is our first episode since I've been here. Oh, son of a boy, dad. We did the Yak. Another piece of programming. This was a great weekend for me i had a i had a blast let's list what went really good for you you fucking caked fucking stacked cash yeah i made a bunch of money okay what else um the shows i did with

francis were awesome speaking of which um moon tower i'm doing the 20th through the 24th um the tickets i know i tried to promote it last time, but then I did a terrible job. Tickets are in my bio on Instagram. So if you're in Austin, I'm going to be there the 20th through the 24th. I've got a lot of shows lined up. Go buy tickets for that. How does it work? You make more money if you sell more tickets?

Yeah. Oh. I saw someone commenting and be like, can't wait to heckle sass at blah, blah. It's like, fine with me, dude. As long as you're buying a ticket. Yeah, just get in the building. You say whatever you want. Yeah, that's okay.

That's actually your privilege as an audience member. That works fine. Yeah, you're not going to be Geronimo-ing off the stage to kick somebody in the face if they talk shit to you. Yeah. You'll take it and actually you'll probably just repeat what they said and it'll get a huge laugh. Yeah, people will laugh. Yeah, stand-up's easy. I'm actually going to be doing a lot of shows this summer i'm doing uh philly providence new york oh my god i can't wait to hear what you say about new york

yeah new york will be fun uh i'm actually really excited for philly why i don't know i just think it's gonna be really fun it's what it's one of your towns kind of yeah like you know a little bit about philly and Philly loves you. Oh, yeah. Philly. Well, I'm a Philly. Yeah, I went to school there. I'm from there.

You're a scumbag like there. Yeah. You've had a cheese steak. Yeah, I'm pumped. You've masturbated with a piece of Swiss cheese. Oh, yeah. Do you know about the Swiss cheese masturbator? I feel like everyone I talked to this week, I was like, man, you ever tried tomato pie?

Wait, who was saying that? People were saying that to you? I was talking to was like, man, you ever tried tomato pie? Wait, who was saying that? People were saying that to you? I was talking to people and being like, you ever had tomato pie? And what were their answers? No one's had it, right? No one's had it. It's the most- Everyone's like, I feel like it's just like bad pizza.

And I'm like, well, actually, it's fucking amazing. Yeah, you don't fucking know. When does that video come out? Around Cinco de Mayo. Oh, perfect. We're just banking content, dude. We're at the fucking bank yeah i'm excited no cash involved it's going to be incredible dude i think that when we start doing neighborhood eats i was

inspired by donnie does and andy villanocas we should start live streaming what do you think about live streaming yeah i mean i i don't have that was lukewarm you don't even i mean another word live streaming dude those people are so fucking popular like the big guys every time i log onto twitter it's like quackity fell over and it's like 700 000 tweets then you click on it it's just like a video of quackity like falling out of his chair and everyone's like oh my god is he okay and is he irl or he just like no they just stream like in there it's like that it's that quackity guy it's the the – someone dude from Mr. Beast's crew, that young kid. Chandler Hollow?

No. That's my boy, Chandler. No. I forget what his name is. And there's that like Timmy in it kid. He's like 18. He's British, I think. Yo.

That's probably hilarious. And these kids are making like millions of dollars. That's why we need to get on that game. But I would do the walk – I would do like go to a city and walk around all day yeah i would i would try that i mean i think doing it how andy milanakis does it i don't know how that guy's just not completely drained what do you mean i mean he's been doing the live streams for like years but i don't think he puts i think he just keeps his energy at like a honest level i don't think he's like what's up guys how's it going yeah just like kind of has a normal conversation and just is holding it.

And plus, it's also his job. Other people go to their jobs and don't have to walk around Italy all day trying gelato and amaretto and shit like that. It's probably a pretty sweet job as far as jobs go. I wonder what the equipment looks like for that to be able to do a live stream while just walking around. I think there's a little rig with the phone attached to it and some kind of plug to keep the power going the entire time. Yeah, it must have some setup.

I'd like to see that. Let's do it, dude. Let's get some IRL. Let's fucking get a little slush fund. Let's make some fucking cash on the side. Yeah, that would be nice. Cash. Love it.

What's your goal right now? Rich, famous, or power? None. I just want to get a sustainable amount of money. So rich. And then just chill. So I'm going to do a lot of stand-up this summer and then just do it. It's going to be like the Lil Sass summer tour.

Never again until next, maybe next summer. Okay. If I need money. Yeah, you're not going to do it in the wintertime. Hell no. Yeah, that would be terrible. Unless I get like really into it, then I'll keep doing it. Are you going to write any new jokes?

Yeah. Like what? I don't know. I'm doing some spots this week in New it. Are you going to write any new jokes? Yeah. Like what? I don't know. I'm doing some spots this week in New York. Okay. Just to kind of get the ball rolling. Yeah. Francis really looked out for you getting you that show.

It was a fucking ton of people. Yeah. Francis had no idea I hadn't done standup in like months. I think he was a little nervous when I told him because I was like, I can bring my phone up, right? And he was like, no. And I was like, oh, I was like, I've never done phone up, right? And he was like, no. And I was like, oh. I was like, I've never done stand-up without bringing my phone up.

And it's not even like I look at my phone the whole time. I just like, it's nice to have it up there in case I forget. It's literally a cheat sheet. Yeah. And so instead what you did was? I wrote down keywords on my hand. A preposterous way to go about it. And I didn't even really need it.

Except for like maybe once yeah you probably shouldn't need it if they're paying you uh all that money I feel like just going up there I didn't even know Gotham was a big comp like I knew I know of Gotham like I know it's like a big club but I thought it was the similar to like the stand or the cellar where it's like a hundred people in the main room but I didn't know it's like it's like it's the equivalent to Caroline's uh but you did way better than it he made it seem like what do you mean i was like how you feel about our guy sass and he was like ah and then i fucking watched you go and you fucking crushed it and then after that you said the second show went even better than that second show was awesome

yeah yeah second show was super fun first show that one that i went to was also pretty good or i say really good way better than the last time I saw you, which you said was the last time you did stand-up. Might have been, yeah. Let's go. What role can I play in this? How can I take some credit for your success? I have no idea. You want me to gas you up?

Do you want me to try to submit premises for jokes for you, like Kevin Hart's crew? Sure. Or would you like me to just say that I wrote it all? No, no, no. Okay. Not bad. Definitely not bad. Not even the barrel rolls one? like sure would you like me to uh just say that i wrote it all or so no no okay not that definitely not that not even the not even the barrel rolls one the barrel rolls one which one's that oh yeah never mind oh oh that's my joke oh yeah yeah i don't know um i definitely don't have a lot of material right now i probably have like 10 minutes it's like a strong 10 minutes um and a lot of it's based on uh like transit a lot of it's like a lot of it's traveling a lot of it's based you you have to like add in a lie about how you just traveled from somewhere

it's like yeah i was just on a plane this morning yeah that's usually how it goes um someone in the crowd was like no you weren't i saw your tweets a little bow out your ass yeah i i would like to try and get up to like 30 minutes by the end of the summer and then me and francis were talking about like headlining places together and just both doing 30 minutes okay which would be awesome make a lot of money you got a nice pop when you went on stage they were like from son of a Boy Dad. And everyone's like, is it Roan? Is it going to be Roan? I don't like it. I don't think they know who it's going to be. Oh, man. That would be awesome if you went up and just started freestyling.

Dude, I'm about to start freestyling this weekend. Change the whole scene. You know that they would go crazy for some freestyle shit. Oh, yeah. They would fucking love some freestyle shit. Just kidding. I'm humble. But this rap battle event is this

upcoming weekend yeah are you pumped are you do you want to promote it at all or no it's called the nicest i mean no one can come yeah so have you guys like fully packed it out uh it's all invitation based right yeah it's invitation based invitation and uh we're yeah we're just having like uh we want like a controlled crowd i'm'm not really gunning for people who just are like- Fans. Yeah, Barstool fans. So if they like battle rap, I'd like them to be there. Because like, I don't want them to just be like bored after like I go when there's like

people who have legitimate battle rap followers. Yeah, yeah. But dude, it's going to be good. I'm just going to be so fucking nice to these people, dude. I checked the r slash battle rap. What'd they say? They were popping. They were what'd they say they were popping they were popping yeah they were pumped yeah what were they saying they were just like runs back

i bet they weren't that excited no they were all super pumped they're like man this is this is gonna be awesome towards the end of when i was doing it like a lot i became like public enemy number one over there like this fucking kid fucking sucks or whatever i had just like dumped my soul out for like eight years i don't know if i'm the ghost they hate the goat they did definitely fucking hate me so what how does this go it's only one battle per person we had one one battle per dude it's like a boxing card and there's five five battles right now trying to add a sixth one trying to add a male against a female this dude who had a there are a lot of female battle rappers there's a couple they're like dude the battle rap community's cracking down there's like a bunch of women who are like how are we yeah she's gonna be up there with some cuffs um there

but there were women in the battle rap community that were pissed off that i didn't have women on the event i was like dude i'll have women maybe they should get better at battle rapping seriously fucking get out of the kitchen and spit some fucking bars. Is that a big thing, like misogyny within the battle rap community? Yes, people are so mean to women in battle rap. I'm surprised there's any women that want to battle rap. I think that women are way more equipped to battle rap than dudes. Like young ma?

Or just like catty argumentativeness. Dudes don't normally get to like exploit that trait. But if you turn on like the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, all those bitches are doing is tearing each other down the entire time. Yeah. Yeah. But with the fellas, all we do is gas each other up. And that's what we're going to be doing at these events.

Yeah, it's going to be fun. I'm excited to see the footage. But you're going somewhere. You're going somewhere else. Yeah, I'm going to Florida, but just for Easter. I'm going Saturday morning. And that should shock me because I thought you were a Jew. I am.

My cousins have a place there, and we're going, and we're all staying there. I wish I was Jewish sometimes. Yeah? I feel like just being able to say being a Jew doesn't feel as dirty if you actually are one. Dirty. It feels like it's a slur. It sounded anti-Semitic. No, I'm saying it feels like it's a slur when it's not.

It does. Doesn't it feel like it? Yeah. It kind of has a little bit of bite to it. It has a sting. Yeah. We got to get that out of our system. Let's go down to Florida together.

I'll skip the event. Yeah, you should. It's going to be fun. Team building? Yeah. The whole fam going? I don't know if the whole family. I know my whole family and my cousin's family is going to be there,

but I don't know if anyone else. I don't think my grandparents or anything are coming. Let's invite Big Gru down. Yeah, Gru is going to be in the office tomorrow. I was like are you gonna be doing BFFs and he was like why would I do BFFs if I don't work with Josh anymore and I was like I don't fucking know dude well maybe keep up with your friends then and then I was like and then I was like I was like to be honest I actually completely forgot that Josh was

even on BFFs I thought it was just Brianna and dave it is more of a brianna was like a side a side project on that show and now she's completely taken over yeah it seems that way yeah it's her show now basically i mean it seems like it's just like dave no offense but i think it's just brianna no offense really it seems like from the clips i see it seems like it's just dave and then like repeat repeat we already did we put out that clip a while ago yeah but that was a while ago they've grown as a show since then Dave will be like what are we doing here

and then Josh will be like no seriously what are we doing and then Brian will be like no what are we doing it was brilliant I feel like I haven't seen clips for the show anymore the algorithm is not rewarding me I don't think they're pushing that show as hard as they were it's just saying that Zo vibes is pregnant or whatever that's all the fucking zo vibes got fucked all the algorithm is telling me she's having a baby that's all like i'm i'm just getting

that that shit plastered onto my feet yeah it's just fucking all and i i don't even ask for it it's like what the algorithm thinks i want dude i i my whole theory about those people um falling off into irrelevance is happening before our eyes who what do you mean those people like the tiktok like the hot tiktokers you were saying that they're they were always going to like uh dissolve out of their fame and yeah i talked about i wrote a blog about this like my first week at barstow and i was saying how it's like inevitable for them to fall off completely, rapidly, considering their level of fame at their peak. And it's already happening.

Are they getting replaced, do you feel like, with newer, more famous people? No, I think it's just like eventually people are like, oh, damn, these people actually don't do anything. So does that mean there's a vacuum of fame? Does that mean that there's a little bit of a space where folks like us could get in where we fit in? Folks maybe who can't dance? Oh, we'll have our have our time yeah wiggle our dicks is good yeah i wonder what it's gonna be dude i wonder what your like peak fame moment's gonna be no it's happened no dude i think it's coming and i think it's gonna be a little bit infamy i think it's gonna be like

uh you're famous for all the wrong reasons. If you know what I mean. Like opening fire somewhere or something like that where you weren't supposed to. That's why I'm scared about this gun range trip. Are you boys both in for the gun range? Why are we doing that? Owen, you in for the gun range? Next time we're on the road.

We'll do some IRL streaming in the gun range. Have you ever seen the video of Adam Friedland shooting the gun? No, I think i have so funny i was watching that this weekend he's just like wow that was loud dude how do you think you're gonna be i mean actually you'll probably be tough as fuck you're a fucking demon behind the gun what are you gonna go with i want to go fully auto i want to open her up yeah but something with a two-handed grip or a single hand i want the ak with the titties and the bump stock let's go dude i can't wait we all we do is talk about it well we're gonna do it it'll happen all we do is talk about opening fire you wouldn't know what to do with one if you ever got one no i wouldn't speaking of which i watched

i watched a lot of uh good movies yesterday i know dude i feel like your reaction to movies is always like dude i just watched this movie was so fucking good yeah that's all it should be i hate like if it's funny i was actually looking so if you look look up a movie it has like imdb score uh rotten tomatoes score and that has the letterbox score and the letterbox score is always like five points lower what's the letterbox score letterbox is like a movie reviewing app for like movie nerds oh got you and they're always like like what's a movie that you love um apocalypto okay give me like an actual movie like a normal one what's wrong one that i've heard of you've never heard of apocalypto mel gibson it was big all right we'll go to dark knight they'll be like

they'll be like yeah dude the dark knight was uh they were like great acting on ledger's part but besides for that the sfx could definitely have used some work the screenwriting a little sloppy like they just like they all act like they they were a part of making the movie. Dude, did you see the clip of the two dudes who were like, why are we giving so much credit to movies like Coda? They're boring. Yeah. There's no special effects.

I mean, no, that's what I'm like. If there's a lot, I'm either like it's good or it's bad. But is special effects what determines if a movie is good for you? No, not at all. So that's what these guys were like they're like they were just like i get where they're coming from though all marvel movies should be like like marvel movies should win an oscar like why would coda win over like fucking ant-man and the wasp or whatever yeah i mean i guess because coda's like an original idea did you like coda i didn't see it i just know what it's about we talked about last time i said

i'm gonna i'll watch it eventually i know you said you're gonna watch it and you never did um yesterday i was in more of like a like i wanted like an intense movie i watched fargo and then i watched uh have you ever seen the lincoln lawyer with matthew mcconaughey i think i saw it um like whatever 20 years ago when it came out what's this like 2011 so what's it about he's a defense attorney wait is that the last movie that he or the first movie he did when he got out of his like rom-com uh he was in that spot where he like uh like they were only telling him to make rom-coms and he you didn't see the interview with gary v where he's like i turned down 14 and a half million dollars to make

some rom-com or some shit like that i didn't see that and then he didn't work for two years straight and then he finally got the lincoln lawyer i don't know but the lincoln lawyer is unreal he's so what is he plays abraham lincoln as a lawyer no he plays a defense attorney and it's like he has like a super fucked up case basically yeah and it gets it's so sick dude he's a badass in it yo what kind of badass is he fucking is he sucking is he using drugs no like he's just like like he like i think like the opening scene he's like leaving he's leaving like his office or something and his car driver's driving him in and also he's like all right we got company and they look out you look out the window and there's like 75 motorcycles just like closing in on them and then they just like force

him off the road and he and he just like collects money from them and like says he'll get their buddy out of jail and he's like super good friends with them the whole you gotta watch the movie though it's so good some motorcycle gang shit no that's like two scenes of the movie got you i've explained the movie basically it's a it's about a defense attorney who has a super fucked up case i feel like i watched the movie when it came out and I just don't remember a fucking thing about it. You got to rewatch it. I was like, that was like one of the, like in my opinion, one of the better movies I've seen as of recent. I'd call it a hidden gem.

Dude, that's the tough thing about being wifed up is, dude, the wife does not like to watch movies where there's- Yeah, you guys are watching like New Jersey or Jersey Housewives or whatever it is. It is a lot of Jersey Housewives, but even when it comes to movies, it's like she always wants like a coming of age story about like a woman like uh like whose mom died and now she's like discovering her sexual awakening or some shit like that i want to fucking i want some high intensity fucking you want guns you gotta i want to see people dying yeah i want some and i haven't seen a single John Wick movie because of all that. I've only seen like one. I want to see a bunch of John Wick movies.

Yeah, and then I watched... What is he like kill a horse or some shit like that? He like shoots a horse right in the head or something like that? Yeah, some shit like that. Someone kills his horse? My friends are obsessed with John Wick. I never got into those movies, but I would like to watch them. Have you ever seen The Accountant?

No, I don't think so. That's a good movie. Watch that. Ben Affle into those movies, but I would like to watch them. Have you ever seen The Accountant? No, I don't think so. That's a good movie. Watch that. Ben Affleck. Oh, maybe I have. Ben Affleck plays this autistic dude who's like a serial killer, or not a serial killer,

but he's like a, I don't even know what I would call him. An accountant. And he like breaks- Oh, he's an accountant for bad guys. Yes, yes, yes. And he breaks down all the money real fucking fast.

That movie's so good. Legend, dude. But then I always think about his big ass back tattoo and I'm like, Yeah, it turns you off. It kind of turns me off. I don't know how he can even, doesn't he have some other movie

with like Anna de Armas or something where they're like, they have like a polyamorous relationship or some shit like that? Oh, that just came out. What is it called? Deep Water, something like that. Deep Water.

She's like fucking like five other dudes or some shit like that. Yeah. The trailer for that. He's just sitting in the corner beating it. Yeah, that trailer for that in the corner beating it yeah the trailer for that looked okay but it actually ended up uh i looked it up it's got like a 5 out of 10 on imdb my cutoff score is 6.3 really yeah i don't watch anything below 6.3 that's like dave's pizza score yeah or frank soda score yeah i would never i'm not gonna sit through like a two-hour movie that has a two out of ten. Yeah? Yeah.

You have to really fall in love with it. Yeah. I watched the fucking Billie Eilish documentary last night, dude. Oh, really? Have you watched it? No. I tuned in being like, this movie's going to fucking suck. She's like 18 years old.

How could she have enough life fucking experience? How could anything have happened in her life to to necessitate a three-hour movie and i left being like i think she's my favorite pop star yeah i think i love billy those are always good like the justin bieber one and the one direction one i didn't like i didn't like any of the other ones but for whatever reason i enjoyed i enjoyed hearing eilish's story yeah i was just impressed by her family like her family's just all genius level musicians well her brother is like they're like a duo basically phineas yeah he writes all of her music doesn't he uh i think he helps helps compose it but he's like actually like a crazy songwriter and a crazy talented producer that's how i i think of i look at uh owen and uh tyler as phineas of

our show i'm like dude these are our dogs but then I see Phineas this year was nominated for like best new artist, I think. So it's like Phineas could go off on his own and do whatever he wanted. And like, I'm sure Billie Eilish has this like underlying fear that like Phineas is going to like try and make like, is Billie Eilish going to be able to make great music without Phineas? Probably. I hope Phineas sticks around. Me too.

Yeah. Yeah. That would be detrimental to her career if he left. Yeah, if her brother breaks up with her. Yeah. There was also a creepy-ass scene in the movie where Orlando Bloom keeps on kissing her. Like, Katy Perry introduces her to Orlando Bloom, and she doesn't know who he is. Then she recognizes him, and then he comes over and gives her this long-ass creepy hug

and keeps on... My antennas are up on Orlando I'm not outright calling him a pedophile but I think he's a pedophile yeah dude that's all I'm saying about Orlando Bloom that's creepy yeah super creepy weird super weird dude I don't like that have you ever seen the picture of Orlando Bloom when he's like uh he's like bodyboarding or whatever no and his penis is out? No. Oh, dude, that was some early barstool fucking classic shit.

Sounds like a... Jerry Thornton blog? I was going to say, it sounds like a Lil Wayne and Birdman situation. Oh, where you kiss your daddy? Remember those videos of Lil Wayne and Birdman just kissing? Yeah, he used to kiss his daddy. So weird. And then he would rap about it.

He'd be like, damn right, I kiss my daddy. Super weird. I didn't like that. Why? Just like uncomfortable. I mean, wasn't Lil Wayne like 16? No, he was 16 when he started like, or I think he was younger than 16 when he started working with him.

Yeah, they were kissing. Yeah, he was like 12. But I think it was just, they were just boys. I think they committed younger than 16 when he started working with him, but then it was just like... Yeah, they were kissing. Yeah, he was like 12, but I think it was just... They were just boys. I think they committed crimes together and shit. I think they were friends. Some of them committed more than the other. Yeah. Some of them were committing crimes with each other.

Some of them were committing crimes on each other. Speaking of Lil Wayne, his noted ghost writer Gilly Da Kid Got kicked off Instagram Did you see that shit? No Why did Gilly get kicked off?

He got kicked off Instagram Because he said that Wiz Khalifa was like Posting too many workouts Like with his dick out He was like posting Like squatting videos With his fucking like

Bulge in everyone's face And Gilly's like Dude I had to unfollow him Just put on some shorts if you're gonna work out like i don't need your your balls all in my face that's hilarious and so is he like permanently banned he had to start a new account and like over one day he has like 400 000 followers it sucks didn't he have like two million or three yeah i think he had like three million he had an insane amount of followers and now he has to like claw back from the depths that's crazy it's kind of bullshit that they do

that that they would take that away from him yeah the king and that barstool can't help him that's crazy should be bending over backwards to help him you don't think they'll get him but you don't think they'll get it back well he's making this whole new account this other account's fucking massive already it's super humbling when people can do that Yeah it's crazy Just put up two clips Yeah and they're already back Like he'll be like There's not a lot of real

N-words left And that'll be the only post And it'll have 300,000 people Following him That's crazy Yeah he's gonna I wanna be a real N-word Huge fan base

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Which team are you fucking with? Both, equally. No, dude. Spread the love. No, dude. You cannot do that. I am doing it. No, you can't do that, dude.

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to create a login and redeem code BOY dad for 20 off your first purchase terms apply terms apply pretty good deal though very good deal 20 off your first purchase i mean you get two tickets to the phillies game in the outfield that's gonna be free that's like yeah like 75 off yeah shit like that download game time last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed you gotta get into game time yeah that's a good deal that's a really good deal new sponsor promo code boy dad good new promo code ditch promo code son what about our promo code son i'm glad we did your promo code roan why are you glad why are you glad about that just wasn't a fan yeah well

when you were away i had to make money somehow you're the fucking cash cow around this place i know little do they know that sass is the one that really drives all the numbers no that's not true don't fucking lie bro you put fucking asses in the seats man hell no um what were we talking oh movies the other two movies that i watched yeah give us some reviews i'll just get to it real quick i watch no no let's fucking i think that this could be a movie podcast on the low low now no no i watched uh i watched the movie mass very very depressing i know i keep on seeing it on that wouldn't recommend i keep on seeing it on the plane and the dark the cover it looks depressing just like the way that everybody's like laid out and it's like uh people like hot famous hollywood people with glasses laid out and it's like uh people like hot

famous hollywood people with glasses on to made to look like they're like ugly parents from a small town and like a tragedy happens was there like a mass shooting and like the parents have to pick up the pieces i won't pick it up just from the i won't get into it because it's kind like it doesn't really see don't really know like that's kind of't really, so you don't really know, like, that's kind of part of the movie is you don't really know what happened. It was a mass shooting. I'm not, no, I don't know. It was a mass shoot.

You do know. You saw it. I'm never going to watch this depressing-ass drivel. Yeah, but some of them I watch. It's a really good movie. It's just super depressing. I don't like fucking, I don't like to walk out depressed as fuck.

It was one of those. I don't really need to access those emotions like that. I don't really need fucking Ridley Scott to take me on a tour of depression yeah it's really really casey affleck or some shit being like you should be depressed about this casey affleck's a phenomenal actor but also a bad person yeah wasn't he like having like threesomes with his like with joaquin phoenix who's like married to his sister or some shit like that i have no idea i'm pretty sure that's exactly what was happening and then uh by the way did you see this fucking sweet ass move that i did by dropping a fucking lifesaver in my water now i have a little bit of a minty water i don't know what's

disgusting about that as a completely fresh lifesaver now it looks like a little fucking ring in there it's gonna be way too cold what what's gonna be way too cold the water what are you talking about combination have you ever been to a hotel where they infuse the fucking water in the in the lobby refuse it they infuse it with like mint and this is mint and this is exactly mint the same way they would put maybe some fruit in it or something like that or some strawberries it's just been essence i just essence up my body like a jolly rancher into your water and that's what people do you've never had lean you never had activists sprinkle a jolly rancher in there the little that's a little jo You've never had lean You've never had activist Sprinkle a Jolly Rancher in there A little Jolly Rancher to taste

Different Different story Yeah right bro You've never had fucking lean bro I haven't No Then the last one I watched Hacksaw Ridge

Classic Just an unreal movie It's a feel good Yeah is that Andrew Garfield Yeah And he's a cat right No Oh

I'm thinking of someone else no that movie is unreal a cat actor they should have a segment of the fucking oscars for for animal actors yeah they should they probably do probably like voiceovers no i'm talking about the actual animals who acted in the movie oh dude fuck what was Fuck, what was the movie I was watching? Pig? No, I watched a movie. Air Bud? No, maybe it was, it might have been The Lincoln Lawyer.

One of the movies that I watched, the cat or the dog, had like a credit. Really? You know if you're on Amazon and you hover over it, it shows up like all the actors in the scene. Yeah. There was like a dog in the scene

and it was like a dog on a red carpet. Dude, I feel like that would play. There has to be some kind of like uh dog awards i mean there's definitely like dog actors and act like i mean right i heard that the dog who played air butt is a fucking dickhead like i heard that he's like a diva yeah he's a massive diva they probably gotta give him like treats every three seconds and he's just like fucking any bitch that comes his way yeah he's always humping yeah he's just an absolute maniac leg he's a maniac on set it's respectable though yeah there i did a uh video with a bear one time i did a hot dog eating contest with a bear and uh like it turns out that the bear was super fucking famous really yeah the

bear had been in like a bunch of movies and like like tv commercials and shit like that um but they were like i was like feeding i think i was like feeding the bear oreos to get it like a taste for food like that it was like a brown bear it was like a full-size brown bear in captivity but it was like uh i guess i'm not sure i don't know what are the big big bears it used to be in like a fucking car commercial or some shit like that big brown bears are grizzlies i think i guess it was a grizzly thing yeah and it was like one of the last acting bears and uh they're like feed it some oreos like just let it eat it right out of your hand that's horrible and then i started eating them out of my hand they're like okay let go let go let go and they made it seem like it was like about to start

eating my fucking arm off they're like you need to let go of the fucking... I was like, I've never fed a bear before. You need to be hyper-specific about how I'm supposed to feed this bear. I mean, dude, grizzly bears will fuck you up. I know. They're number two. Huh? They're number two most dangerous.

Behind what? Polar. Really? If it's white, good night. Is that what they say? Oh, yeah. Aren't polar bears like... They say if you see a polar bear just accept defeat you're done if you just see one yeah i mean obviously unless it's like in a zoo or some shit even so prisons even so um yeah that's

terrifying where polar bears are only at the north and south poles i think so yeah or maybe siberia or something They might be in Alaska. Damn. I think they are in Alaska. Have you ever seen even video of one? I can't even think of a video I've seen of a polar bear. Yeah, I've seen a video of polar bears. I would watch Bear Week before I would watch Shark Week. Have you ever seen Grizzly Man?

Yeah, that shit's awesome. Yeah. Dude, that's such a good documentary. Yeah, it's sweet. Spoil it. Well, I mean, no. Everyone a good documentary. Yeah, it's sweet. Spoil it. Well, I mean, no. We already know. Everyone knows what happens.

Yeah. He gets absolutely fucking... They fuck him up. Yeah, he fucks his bear. They toy with his body. He fucks his bear publicly. Just rip him into a thousand pieces. But I would like...

Bear attacks to me are much more interesting than shark attacks. And I feel like it's probably easier to catch on camera. Why? Shark attacks are so fucking scary, dude. But there's no good— I hate the ocean. Why? I'm terrified of sharks. I feel like it's because you can get pulled down to the depths.

Yeah. Oh, that's—I have nightmares about sharks all the time. Really? I actually used to—when I used to be super afraid of planes, just to give you a little insight into what my mind is like, I used to have dreams about a plane crashing into shark-infested waters. Don't worry, brother. So first the plane crash would happen, and then the second nightmare would kick in where the sharks are swimming around me. That you would survive a plane crash?

Yeah. Even in your fantasies, that's just delusional cockiness. I actually had a dream one time about um my the plane was crashing and and then we landed in shark infested waters and elon musk's child was on the plane and i had to save him from the sharks is that a real dream you had real dream well how do you feel that like loyalty to elon musk he was right when elon musk had his kid and i think it was like on my mind because i was like tweeting about it a bunch and you felt a responsibility for the child i don't really have i know my most common nightmares are plane crashes yeah oh dude i was on like a like a morbid reality reddit and

there's like like slow motion pictures of uh of plane crashes the body gets ripped limb from limb so viciously that i don't think before it even hits the ground yeah i don't think you'd really have to worry about the sharks i think that the, you'd be kind of doing a service to the sharks. Kind of like Grizzly Man where he just repurposed his body as food for the bears. I don't think a bear would be nearly as... I think a bear would be a quicker death than a shark. You never saw The Revenant? Yeah, but that's...

That bear took the time with him. I feel like you could kind of play possum with a bear or something like that. It'll just be stepping on your neck like... Yeah, that's fucked up. I think it would just be one swipe realistically and then goodnight. Across the throat or the belly.

You ever seen that old video? Remember that old video of the dude? Oh, the guy gets his face ripped off? And he's just talking? I thought that was fake for so long. Damn, dude. I don't think it was. I think it was real but i

don't know why we fetishize sharks so much and not bears because i think i don't know i wonder who dies what people die more from probably sharks there has been a big wave recently of people being like at billy billy football one of them being like why don't we domesticate bears instead of dogs or some shit like that it's like i'm pretty sure nobody's domesticating a fucking bear yeah it's like you're not gonna just like break it down like that yeah what was the what is grizzly man's like whole theory wasn't his whole theory just like you gotta like you can't like be afraid of them at all and i think that that kind of plays your fear yeah i think that they i know in jerry mcguire they say bees and dogs can smell fear i don't know about bears probably though they could probably smell fear they smell bees and dogs can smell fear. I don't know about bears. Probably, though.

They could probably smell fear. They smell salmon and shit like that. Yeah, they do. I told you about the hike that I did recently, right? In Colorado. Oh, yeah. Bear Peak. I thought I was going to see a bear the whole time.

There was like legitimate caves. And I was a little bit on edge. But then I got to the top and there was a bunch of people there. And I was like, oh, I'm fine. You think you would have gone onto your back and acted like the bear was about to get on top of you at the last second, just fucking stabbed through its fucking gut with a knife? I didn't have a blade. You didn't have a blade?

No, I asked my parents for a blade for my birthday. Mistake number one. I asked them for a blade and a hat. But like a nice hat, like a cowboy hat. A Stetson? Yeah. Don't you have to get one made? No. Oh, dude, I could have got you a hat. No, you didn't. Well, I don't know your head size. Did have to get one made? No. Oh, dude. I could have got you a hat.

No, you didn't. Well, I don't know your head size. Did your parents get you one? Big and tall. Yeah, they got me one. It's not here yet, though. I probably got to get it when I'm in Florida. What color?

White? Blue. It's not a cowboy hat. It's like a sun hat. It's a nice navy blue. What the fuck is a sun hat? Isn't a sun hat like a wide, flop brimmed hat that like women wear yeah no i don't know how to describe it bro you got a woman hat dude it's like in between a sun hat and a cowboy bro i don't know how to break it to you but that hat is for

bitches it's a nice hat and then i got a blade too i need it what i need is a pistol you wouldn't know what to fucking do with it what i need is a pistol you're apparently here you wouldn't know what to fucking do is it we'll get you a starter pistol and just tell you it's a real gun yeah you'll try and shoot a bear and it'll just say like bang the little the little flag will come out yeah you'll try and kill yourself and a flag will just poke you in the side of your head. I thought it was real. That would be so fucked up. I thought it was fucking real. Fuck you guys.

That would be so fucked up. You just wind up pistol whipping yourself. Just beating yourself in the head with the butt of it. Trying to inflict any small amounts of pain. Yeah, I mean. Hold me now. Well, I think bears, when bears try to kill you, they're trying to kill you.

When a shark tries to kill you, I think they just stink your food. And their brains are tiny. Sharks are... They're stupid and they're not that mean. No, they're really... They just look mean. They're really dumb. Yeah, they're stupid and their mouths are like...

They can barely open up their mouths. Yeah, they look dumb too. They look dumb and mean. I don't fuck with sharks at all. I think the Chinese should go back to taking their fins and making soup out of them. The Chinese did that? I think.

I hope. If not, we're going to have a problem. Right? Oh, let's get a fact check on that. Chinese shark fin soup? Is that a thing? All right. Fuck yeah, bro.

Racism avoided. You gotta be careful. Sharks should go back to being gummy snacks that you have after school. Yeah, they should. Those were fucking delicious. Those are so fucking good. Wait, no, no. I'm not talking about the blue.

Those are good as fuck, though. The blue sharks? The blue sharks that are like a little bit longer. No, those things are amazing. What are those made of? I don't know. Deliciousness. What is that? That's my type of are those made of? I don't know. Deliciousness. What is that?

That's my type of candy. So like, I don't like, I don't like chocolate or shit. Like I like chocolate, but I don't like, like I like gummy. You like some shit that sounds like. All right.

Never do that again. Well, that's the shit you like. I hate that so much. I like chocolate, bro. Shit doesn't sound like that when I bite into it. It's just crisp. I woke up.

I got really fucked up on Friday. And I woke up just with score bars all around me. And I was just ripping down score bars. Wait, what are their score bars? Someone got me score bars. And I don't know if it was like Erica. I think on one of the podcasts I said I like score bars. And then I got like a package from Barstool.

Yeah, dude, I'm sure it was Erica that got you score bars. It was from Barstool. I'm sure that Erica was listening to Son of a Boy Dad. It had like an aviation book in it and score bars, which was awesome. But I was so hungry when I got home and I just started ripping down score bars. I got to like get my shit together, get back in the gym. I got bad news for you brother this is the body that you have and this is the vessel you will be in for the rest

of your life unless i completely quit drinking and like carbs like you think you're at your floor right now and you have no idea you're at your ceiling you have no idea that you're at your peak athleticism you think that you're about to like transfer into this fucking i know no i know i'm well aware like i know it's not i'm not gonna there's never gonna be a point in time where i look in the mirror and i'm like fuck yeah or you're gonna it's gonna have to be uh like medically induced yeah steroids it's gonna have to be hard drugs hgh or steroids or testosterone i would never do hgh that shit makes your heart explode who Who gives a fuck, bro? Your heart's gonna explode one way or the other anyway, dude.

I give a fuck. Whether it's a plane crash, a shark biting into it like a fucking gusher, or you taking some HGH, your shit is going to explode. I'm not doing HGH. Alright, what are you doing this next ad read? Bird dogs. Alright, I'm gonna take a piss. I'll be right back. Code sun.

It is Code Sun. And you are true about that. Or you are right about that. And it is all about the fucking joggers. And it is all about the fucking shorts. I was wearing the joggers yesterday. No underwear. It had my package on fucking 10.

Wait, what is this? Oh, rated R. It had my dick looking like a fucking fat italian sausage it looked like a vienna sausage in these bird dogs i could not have felt better about myself i could not have looked better about myself it was a transcendent vibe to be rocking the bird dogs and they're coming out with new sweet ass designs all the time whether there's some shorts that are going to carry you into short season it's going to be 70 degrees this week in New York. Tyler, I feel like you'll put on some bird dogs. I'll see your legs for the first time. Probably not. You're a jogger, man. He's a jogger guy,

and that's fine. But it's just so fucking comfortable. Every time you wear them, you're going to look classy. It's the type of clothing that you can go out in, or you can just chill around the house in. You could go for a workout in. You could wear the shit to a fucking job interview. I don't know. I don't know what kind of jobs you guys are trying to get into. You might be overdressing for some jobs if you wear the bird dogs for a job interview.

But regardless, it's a good-ass look, and you should be incorporating bird dogs into your life at every single turn because the product is just that good. Go to birddogs.com, enter promo code SUN, and they'll throw in a whistle tip football. A little Sasquatch was playing with one in the office, like a little hopped up little tyke, just running around with a bunch of fucking sugar pouring out of his mouth. And his seasonal depression was fucking melting away like fucking hot ice cream on the fucking pavement. That's birddogs.com, promo code sun and boom. A free bird dogs whistle tip football with your pair of bird dogs. Stay warm and comfortable this weekend in your bird dogs.

But he's built for it. Dude, it's so different with the battle rap shit, though, because I feel like I have to fucking, like, I'm just, like, repeating it over and over and over again. It's not freestyle rap. It's, like, something that I prepare, and I know every word of it, and I go over it word for word every fucking day, like, five times in a row.

Second verse, five times in a row. Third verse, five times in a row. Dude, like, fucking. Five times in a row. But you don't a row Dude like fucking Five times in a row But you don't practice Your stand up at all You don't say it out loud You just think through it

In your head If I say it out loud Too many times I get in my head about it Damn Yeah I feel like every moment Of my shit

Also it's not fully memorized I just know like the premise Of the joke I don't I feel like that shit Is scary Yeah it is That's why I have to get super fucked up

Before I go on stage You were not super fucked up The first time That's why it sucked Oh really? Second time I was loose Were you actually? Yeah it was awesome

It was probably that popcorn shrimp That you were eating Oh that shit made me feel awful Shout out the place Where you got it from Yeah it's a nice bar I forget what it's called though The kid came up to us

I just took a long ass piss Yeah was it Are you sure that wasn't It was one of those pisses where it's just rolling off your balls Towards the end What is You had to give the balls a wipe What

Don't make me feel weird dude Bro you gotta start wearing Cut this now You gotta start the balls a wipe. What? Don't make me feel weird, dude. Bro, you gotta start wearing some bird dogs. It'll fucking make your junk look, feel, and be bigger so you don't piss on your balls. You don't know what it's like having big ass balls? I feel like... And elephant balls? That's like a late 80s insult. Like, your dick's so small you piss on your balls.

Well, you don't know what it's like having like your dick's so small you piss on your balls well you don't know what it's like having a big dick and bigger balls not even big but like long balls dude it was deep low balls wouldn't end i would i would cut it off and then it would just keep coming what you don't hold your dick like out from your body and like kind of wiggle it like you're fucking uh absolutely shaking your finger at somebody um no we were out on friday we were out on saturday and and roan's wife said that roan when he's doing his battle rap he just sits in like a dark room and it's just rapping to himself for like seven hours on end it's facts it's hilarious it's like every moment has to be fucking perfect that's why it's like nervous uh no i just

know it's like a lot i have like a lot of work to do to like keep up the standard of uh excellence that i've created for myself that's true you know what i mean yeah but uh i mean it's good it's good vibes it's like it sounds like i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna lose like worse comes to worse like the other guy does better than me because he says such nice shit about me yeah that's true it is kind of a pussy move you hacked the system it's kind of a pussy move just to make somebody say some nice ass shit about me it's super insecure of me it's like yeah we're just gonna be like nice as fuck about each other so like whatever handle the mean stuff whatever the nicest shit you could say to me just like

think of that or whatever yeah that'll be nice this dude is uh this dude is genuinely hilarious though really like he's just like funny. I wish you could meet him. He's funny as fuck to be around. He's just like, and he has a son who's just like a hilarious impressionist. He's on America's Got Talent, actually. How old is he? His son? How old is this guy?

He's like 35, and his son's like 15. Why is that funny, bro? Jeez. He was having sex in college, bro. That's who you're hanging around, man. He's a teacher. He's a teacher. And he's spitting?

Yeah, he's a teacher and he spits. What does he teach? Poetry? Gym. That's nice. He's probably spitting on the students. He keeps flaming their asses? Oh, like spitting on them.

I thought you meant spitting on them. Figuratively. But he probably can. He's got that sharp, he's got that quick wit like that. I would love to meet a couple more battle rappers. You're the only one I've met. Yeah? Yeah.

Aside from myself. Why don't you quit? Wait, give us those bars again. I don't remember. What were they? Noah Beck, bro. That's why he's not popping anymore. I know.

I destroyed his ass. Well, say it again Just do the I think I said Noah Beck Noah Beck more like Noah Neck No I think I said more Noah Beck more like Big Neck something like that

I hate you Noah Beck Fucking ended his career Yeah that was kind of sick That was uh yeah that was a good time good times damn dude when i like to rhyme i like to rhyme all the syllables together so like noah beck no respect so like the no part no a little bit deeper you know what i mean yeah that's why you're the goat that's why you're the king yeah bro fucking multi-syllable rhyme schemes bro you know how the fuck it is, bro.

I was looking at the quote tweets from your tweet promoting it. What were they saying? Just like all like battle rap bass dudes. Battle rap bass dudes. Young Baby the Prince is back. Let's pull some up. The dudes are hilarious. But then there are people who are like, you're just going to let anybody come into the culture now?

When people were like flailing. Do you get a lot of shit because you're at Barstool? I mean, I have before, but people were also like, dude, who from Barstool did you put on since you've been at Barstool? It's like, dude, how am I going to put people on at Barstool? What other battle rappers are we going to get into? Talk about fucking like, I mean, I would love to put on as many as possible because battle rappers at least like can come up with their own shit and like start their own, you know, like write their own shit, fucking perform their own shit, like create something from front to back. It's at least a tough undertaking. Yeah, for sure. What some people say.

A lot of people would just be like. Oh, this person said I got the over on barstool jokes at 75 from the math teacher is that who you're going against real deal yeah he's not a math teacher but uh gym teacher yeah dumbass dumbass all it's a lot of people just replying with the exploding head emoji and everyone and a lot of people like there are a lot of people like will quote tweet it or reply twice and their first reply will be like in no way and then the second one will be like damn we intentionally wrote it so like people don't know that it's a rap battle or like a battle like i want people some people to click on it and it did just like jump into the video

so they like don't know. And the way we're shooting it, like I want it to be like gritty and like, I don't want it to be like rainbow sunshines and frolicking through an open field. Like I want it to feel

and look gritty. Yeah. And then someone just says some fucking polite ass shit. Yeah. So how long, how long does like, how long will you go specifically?

Probably like two minutes. And then the other person will go like the same amount. So how long will this take if there's five, six shows or battles? It'll depend how much time in between and when people get there and shit like that, but probably like three or four hours. Damn. So you got a long day on Saturday.

Three or four hours is not a long day. This person said, huh? I think we just got a pretty good insight into your work ethic i mean it's a saturday this person said bruh this is crazy and this person replied with a bunch of exploding head emojis and then they said nah this can't be real and this person said you got to be kidding smfh but it's like they're they're being like it sounds bad but they're actually like super pumped wow a lot of fire emojis this card is crazy fire and i'm sad why are you sad it's fire this person said i'm sorry what am i looking at right now

like people are pumped for this so people are saying compliment battles are gay though but i tried to really see that at all i've tried to really not like the first one i did i felt like it was like two things i tried to avoid when i was writing this self-deprecating i'm not trying to self-deprecate i'm not trying to put myself down yeah to bring the other person up and also to be like too gay to the dude like i'm not trying to be like i want to suck him off yeah i'm not trying to suck him off i think i did a little bit too much of that my first compliment battle so i'm gonna be nice to the guy not put myself down and no sucking cock yeah it sounds like a good uh good model to live by speaking of sucking cock joey camasta was asking me uh he was asking everybody what their inseam in their pants was really what's yours i have no clue like my inseam in my pants you know what size pants you wear like 32 32 something

like that so 32 that's more like 34 32 bigger in the waist and you know that's vanity sizing do you know what vanity sizing is now they put the size as small or even though it's probably like a 35 inch waist they'll put like 34 inches on it even though it's probably like a 35-inch waist, they'll put like 34 inches on it so you don't feel like a fat piece of shit every time you put your pants on. It's tough. It's tough. I think these fucking whatever these are, Carhartts, don't vanity size,

and I'm feeling muffin-topped out. What are they? It's 3330. I didn't even know they did 33. Oh, boy, you got to fucking search far and wide. But my love handles are spilling over the top of it on some Exxon Valdez, dude. My shit is fucking cascading over the top. Yeah, I'm more going for comfort over style these days.

Oh, yeah. Tactical. Yeah, yeah. I got my zip-offs. No, I can tell. I'm tactical right now. You just changed shirts for this show. Was it because you were feeling uncomfortable or you just wanted to show off some Big Cat merch?

Yeah, that sweatshirt's too small. Yeah. You gotta size up at the barstool store. Yeah. I'm rocking an XL right now. Fits perfect. Also, this is a nice sweatshirt. I'm about to have to kill a bunch of my babies.

I'm gonna have to get rid of a bunch of hoodies. I think it's getting rid of shit season. Really? Because shit's a little bit too small. You want them? Pass them hither. Well, if they're too small for you, they're probably too small for me. What the fuck is that supposed to mean, bro?

You're like way bigger than me. Or no. No, actually, that wouldn't make sense. You're way smaller than me. Yeah, I'm way bigger than you. Not quite, bro. No, you got fucking long ass legs. That's what me and Francis were talking about.

We're like, dude, you have the fucking frame to really put on some fucking good mass. I'm never gonna put on a lot of mass. You need to hang around with Francis more. Cause he's putting on a lot of mass. He'll just get you on creatine he'll have you on the right workout regimen. I took creatine for years, dude. You took creatine

for a year? No, I took creatine starting like right after I graduated high school. Took it like all the way up until this year. No, I took creatine starting like right after I graduated high school. I took it all the way up until this year. Bro, I'm telling you, go mad. What's that? Gallon of milk a day. God, gross. Dude, that's disgusting. Why? People actually do that.

Yeah, you could too. Gallon of milk a day, dude. That would make me feel so fat. You'd be jacked. No, I would just put on a lot of mass in the wrong spots. Yeah, you'd be jacked in your tummy. I'd have a milk stomach. You'd have a big-ass bicep in your gut.

Ew, gross. My milk tummy is disgusting. Why is that gross, dude? We'd be throwing up all day. No, you wouldn't. Your body would get used to it. 10,000 years we've been suckling off the cow. Yeah, hopefully not ten thousand more you know

what i mean yeah hopefully we fucking put an end to all that shit just drink almond milk oh you know there's only six almonds in in almond milk and the rest is just dyed water apparently you can home make almond milk pretty easily yeah because all it takes is six almonds yeah that's crazy and water Just grind it up into water. Dude, I thought I was going to get sick yesterday. I thought I was getting sick. I think I'm sick right now. Ew, bro.

The fuck away from me, bro. Sort of throw it like you read about. Ew, bro. Fucking stay from me, bro. But what I did was I just told myself, I Wim Hof'd myself. I didn't even do the breathing exercise, but there's the one thing in the breathing exercise where he's like, let the body do what the body is capable of doing.

And I just told my body, do what you're capable of doing. And I coughed and a fucking little sickness just jumped out of my throat and ran away scared. Damn, I gotta try that tonight. Let the body do what the body is capable of doing. I decided to take some allergy medicine and then some tylenol too yeah just not right i used to fucking do i used to be off the zyrtec heavy bro yeah that's just strong dude i know i get a fucking credit card

chop that shit up you suck on it for a little bit get rid of the uh the coating need the suck on it for a little bit, get rid of the coating? Need the gummy on it? Yeah, you got to take the- Get the full 24-hour supply in one hit. Time release capsule off the Zyrtec so you can really fucking mainline it into the system. Have you watched Opsic yet? Nah, I don't think I'm going to. It's really good. I saw a fucking commercial yesterday.

What was it? What fucking show was on? It was like after the masters then there was like a commercial for raytheon which is like the company that makes like the automatic 50 cal that like can shoot a fucking and there was just like a commercial on cbs like raytheon i didn't know they did that shit anymore it's always world war three is coming yeah boy if they're fucking advertising the fucking genocide machines the shit is coming fast well was it were we talking about recently like what what do you do you think you could get hit like how far or no how far do you think you'd have to be to get hit with a bullet and it like

not hurt you no no that's possible you think that's possible no because it like at some point like the gravity of the the gravity is adding speed to the bullet so even if they shoot it up in the air and like two miles away like it's coming down faster than it went up i think i don't fucking what if you timed it yeah i guess it just it's just not possible don't you think it slows down i call my dad is he a gun guy he's a physics guy oh really yeah that's i always used to call my dad and be like if i shot a gun out of the roof of uh yeah i always wanted that like how fast would i have to be going for it to come down right on top of me basically it's impossible but like could a

bullet ever go so slow that it would hurt you that it wouldn't hurt you that it would just like hit you but i don't think that they would continue i think they wouldn't be you, that it would just hit you. But I don't think that they would continue. They wouldn't be flying at that speed. Because it has to maintain a velocity to stay in the air, I think. Otherwise, it's just going to go into the ground. And even as it goes into the ground, it's still going pretty fast. Yeah, that makes sense. I don't think bullets are ever slowing down to a full stop in the air. Don't you think that would be so cool, though?

Bink! Yeah, you'd just get hit with a.50 cal. Bink! From two towns over. Yeah. I mean, how far do you think that would be so cool though? Bink. Yeah, you just get hit with like a.50 cal. Bink. From like two towns over. Yeah. I mean, how far do you think they travel? I think like Chris Kyle was like shooting dudes from two miles away. No, I think it was like a mile, two miles.

I don't know. I thought it was two miles. Big difference. I don't know. It's still a fucking far ass distance. Was that when he was On top of the The fucking The garden Shooting people

During Hurricane Katrina The devil of Ramadi Oh was he doing that He said he was But I think that was When he was like Going crazy Yeah

That's a tough look Yeah he said That he was on top of Yeah he was shooting looters During Hurricane Katrina On top of the superdome He was sniping them To death

Was that a fucking T fucking tissue box you're taking good man they hot imagine dude imagine just like you're it's during a hurricane and you're like i gotta go get some fucking toilet paper and then you just get sniped in the head if i was a if i was a soldier who was like taught to kill people it would be pretty hard for me to turn off that switch yeah i mean i don't think i'd just be like going through regular uh like society sustaining like disrespect like that i'd be like once i had like a couple kills under my belt and a bloodlust going for me like i don't really think that i'd be showing that much restraint i know i don't show restraint as it is i think it's probably pretty hard to get back into real life after going to war that's why you just got to be uh pay for hire just go hire a gun for the rest of your life working for like one of those defense contracting companies that just

goes in private militia yeah it kills for fun yeah yeah that would be something or be a security guard somewhere like these guys at our front desk yeah those guys are all jonesing to shoot someone i know i'm trying to get i want to get one of my boys who who's a cop hired there i feel like he hates his life as a cop and uh now he could just like those guys are living their best yeah that's what i mean it looks so fucking fun and like they were out in la they were having a blast i know we saw them walking down sunset strip Strip with their shirts off. They just had towels over their shoulders with their shirts off. Those guys are awesome.

Yucking it up with each other. Super nice guys, too. I know. Completely, completely changed the narrative of what my leftist ACAB ass thought about cops. Oh, yeah, 100%. Need a couple good old boys like that? They're good guys. Oh, yeah.

Doesn't matter who they killed. Yeah. And what cause they didn't have for doing it. Yeah, it doesn't matter why they were discharged. They're good guys. yeah doesn't matter who they killed yeah and what cause they didn't have for doing it doesn't matter why they were good they break balls yeah they're the kind of guys you want to sit down and have some macaroni and gravy with they are good ass ball busting guys ship station i know these motherfuckers use ship station pg. I know they use ShipStation whenever they're sending flowers to their loved ones

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That's silly. That's some fun-ass copy. Did I say that's a PG ad? I don't think so. Seriously. That's PG like Ghostbusters. Feels R-rated. That's PG like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Rick Moranis' goofy ass.

It's PG like Airplane. Airplane had titties in it. Airplane had titties in it. And it was PG, wasn't it? It was. I believe so. Gosh. I hope. They must have been I remember my first time watching Airplane and seeing those big old titties in it. And it was PG, wasn't it? It was. I believe so. Gosh. I hope. They must have been... I remember my first time watching Airplane and seeing those

big old titties. Did your parents rush across the room and try and cover your eyes up? No, I was at one of my friend's houses. We were watching in the basement.

Oh, so you guys all paused it and jerked each other off? Yeah. You guys fucking circled up and fucking... Big time. Big circle jerk

went on after that. One hand over your eyes so it wasn't gay and then the other hand you just went to town. If you don't see the dick you're jerking off it is not gay no that's known that is known that's a fact that's known all right stop looking at me like i have fucking three heads i got two and one of them's got another guy's hand around it. Hold me now. I'm six feet old and I'm banging on my... You think that song's about fucking jumping off the building? I don't know.

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down. And then there's the song, I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. That's a completely different band. But that's Third Eye Blind, but it's called Jumper, and that song is also about jumping off a building. Yeah, but that song's a little less discreet. I think they're both pretty overt about jumping off buildings. You could listen to the Creed song and not know. The other one, you're like, oh, this is about someone killing themselves.

I don't know. Don't they say, hold me down six feet from the edge, and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down. I feel like that's just like, I'm going to jump off the building. Yeah, but if you're just singing along to that song, you don't know. Don't they say, hold me down six feet from the edge and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down. I feel like that's just like, I'm gonna jump off the building. Yeah, but if you're just singing along to that song, you don't know that's what they're saying. They're kind of just like, hold me down. The other one's like, I wish you would

step back from that ledge, my friend. Sounds like a doo-wop song. I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. That we could cut ties from all the lies that you've been living in. All right, chill, chill. They're going to DMC ARSs. And then, dude, Billie Eilish has a song about jumping off a building.

Yeah, but that's fake. No, dude. That's Phineas. No, dude. That's Phineas talking. Her mom said that. She was like, people are always like, Billie is making the teenagers depressed. And teenagers are fake depressed.

She's like, no, it's depressing to be a teenager. You know what's depressing is this room. We got to spruce it up in here. Every room in this office is just like the color of primer. Yeah, dude, I don't fuck with it. I think that might be why my energy gets so low while we're in here. Because there's the interior design in here. It looks like it was done with a person, a deaf person who's blind and has no hands.

Helen Keller? I think she even had hands. Is that Helen Keller? I don't think it's Helen Keller, right? Is it? No, that's Anne Frank. I'm thinking of Anne Frank. I know, I know, I know.

I know I'm not, but when I thought I was messing up, I thought I was saying Anne Frank. They're just the most mess-up-able pair in history. It's nobody's fault. No. No, it isn't history. It's nobody's fault. No. No, it isn't. It's not anybody's fault. It's history's fault. Honestly, for conflating the two.

They could have, like, swapped the names. Like, change it, make it a little more memorable. Yeah. Like Helen Deaf. Helen Mute. Yeah. Dude, I think that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those two women, I don't know why we just confuse them so hard in our minds.

I don't know. The names don't sound alike. Let's explore that. I'm afraid to. Why? Because I'm afraid what we're going to find out about ourselves. Deeply rooted misogyny? Or anti-Semitism.

Oh, okay. Well, that's not possible for me. As we know. You could be self-loathing. No. Not me. Never. Damn, bro. As far as self-loathing whites, no one's beating Duke.

Fear and loathing in Germany. Fear and loathing in Nazi Germany. Dude, I was trying to go to Germany. Now I don't think I can. Everybody's like, it's ugly as fuck there. Really? Yeah. It's definitely never been someone that's on my list of places to go.

I know. Why did you want to go? Just to see what the fuck was popping there. See how sorry they were for World War II. And World War I. Yeah. They lost World War I. They lost World War II, too.

But I think that... In a way. In a way, they definitely won World War II. Yeah. I mean, Americans, there's Nazis all over. Yeah, it's taught about constantly. People still live in fear of the name Hitler. Hitler's significantly more famous than FDR and Winston Churchill, the two dudes that beat him in the war.

No publicity's bad publicity, and Hitler's winning. Yeah. Hitler is fucking winning, honey. But no, I... Hitler's winning, child. Where did I see? I saw a thread today of celebrities misusing AAV. It's fucking incredible.

I didn't realize my girl Olivia Rodrigo is a frequent perpetrator of that. I think it's like anyone who has a big... Nah, never mind. Scratch it. All right. I don't know why... Touch back on that once the mics aren't so piping hot i don't know why you're trying to defend olivia rodrigo i think it's like their fan bases

no i was gonna say gay oh okay right yeah am i. I mean, even spill the tea is an appropriative phrase. But it's become so ubiquitous that anybody can use it for their white girl or boy podcast. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's fascinating linguistics. Fascinating. I mean, I think the difference is we can say whatever the F we want on here because we don't have as many listeners as Olivia Rodrigo does.

Yeah. Not quite as many. It's close. It's about the same. It's about the same. I mean, I don't know what she would do with the podcast, and we've never made pop music. Should we have her on?

Rodrigo? You know she follows me on Instagram? Shut the fuck up. Yeah. What? Yeah. What? Because she unfollowed me

are you being serious right now? mhm bro how many followers does she have? couple mil are you freaking kidding me bro? she's won three Grammys did I hear that correctly?

let's get O-Rod on the pod yeah she won them all this year she's like the new Eilish that's fucking crazy what is she like 14? you know that Billie Eilish Wrote Ocean Eyes at 13? Well Phineas wrote it

No dude Eilish wrote it I'm gonna get some Phineas merch I would Phineas is badass We should become The biggest Phineas fans There is

Oh no Cause no one's like a Phineas Like they're like Oh Phineas is so talented But no one's like Reppin' Phineas Even Bieber is like An afterthought When he's like wants to talk to Phineas after she won.

She's like, oh, can I talk to your brother? Like, hey, good job, buddy. Yeah. And they all wear like rings that are like a lion and like the mouth is open. Like if we had a bunch of rings. Dude, let's become ring guys for just a show. No, hell no. Why?

I don't like that. Why? Not my style. I don't like wearing things. Except for my Fitbit, of course. I was about to say, what is that bitch-ass Fitbit on your arm? Except for the Fitbit. Need this thing.

What's tactical? Or why are you guys tactical? I need to see how little I've moved today. 2,000 steps at 4.30. 2,000? Or 5.30 now. How did you get to work? 5.45.

Did you walk in? No. Uber. You live so close to the office. I know, but I don't want to leave like an hour early. How much? An hour early?

It takes like 15 minutes, 20 minutes. Dude, our Uber driver today was just taking us all over the city. We did not go the fastest route, that's for sure. You literally live on the same street as our office is on. Yeah. You live on on the same street as our office is on. Yeah. You live on the exact same street.

It's a straight shot. It's impossible to go willy-nilly. You either go up one street or down the other street. Down the other street, yep. And that's without doxing you. That's how you tell directions, without fucking doxing you. I mean, yeah, I live on 7th. Come to find me. It's a long street.

7th Street? It's going to take a while to find me. 7th Street or 7th Ave? 7th Ave. We've just narrowed it down. Wait, no, is it 7th Street. 7th Street? It's going to take a while to find me. 7th Street or 7th Ave? 7th Ave. We've just narrowed it down. Wait, no. Is it 7th Ave? Yeah, 7th Ave.

You don't know much about New York, do you? I know everything about New York. You don't even live in Manhattan, dude. You're a fake New Yorker. Yeah, right, dude. I go to Carbone every night. You live over in Brooklyn with all of your bitch-ass Brooklyn people? No, I go to Carbone and I get the fucking spicy rigatoni and burrata.

Hell no. They don't even have bodegas in Brooklyn. What, dude? Just CVS's. They have exclusively bodegas. Walgreens. They have only bodegas in Brooklyn, dude. That's where my boy 6ix9ine's at. Yeah, dude. I heard 6ix9ine's coming back to the city. Glad to have him back. I missed him out here.

Because I've been posting this shit about battle rap all the like like the battle rap dramas coming up onto my my feed that I haven't seen in years and it's just like people arguing about like who's more of a rap because someone like liked the 6ix9ine post

like a month ago or some shit like that yeah didn't you say it's like a super PC like very hostile community nowadays and people, just take themselves so seriously. They're like, you're a fucking rat because you like this Facebook post. Like, no, you're a fucking rat because like, you didn't unlike a Facebook

post. That sounds toxic. Shit is toxic. And I'm about to have a, I'm gonna sit them all down. Like, child. Child, what is going on with you, child? Bitch. Chile. Child, how do you pronounce you, child? Bitch. Chile. Child, how do you pronounce it, child? Yeah, some people, it was like child,

but it's like some people who've only read it would say like Chile. I would say that. I would have said that if you didn't say child. Chile? Yeah. I actually remember I used to have to look up what it meant because I was like, what the fuck are they saying? I need to get this right before I drop it

in the Jack Harlow talk that groups. I need to know what I'm talking about before I pretend to be a black dude from a. Doesn't Jack Harlow like pay black women to promote his music? Don't talk about our boy like that. Just I'm just saying. So he's a job creator. It's all. Yeah, exactly.

He's trying to help out the economy. So he's a job creator. Yeah. It's doing more than fucking Biden's bitch ass has done. That's a fucking fact. The only Biden I trust is Hunter. He knows what the fuck he's talking about. I'm going to make you eat those words.

Why, bro? He's a bad guy. How? A, crack. B, child pornography. You know that the fucking government put crack in the fucking hood, bro. In Hunter Biden's hood? What is that, the West Wing?

Yeah. Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Yeah. Camp David, is that what it's called? Yeah. That's where they got his ass. Fuck yes, bro. Those are some good ass references you just turned out, dude.

You're getting very reference heavy. I am. Dude, you know what bothers me when you like put a reference on like Twitter or something and someone will get it. Oh no, when someone will be like,

oh, sick reference, bro. Like your references are so tight. It's like, dude, that's a reference. You're making a reference right now. Like you're trying to dunk on me for having a reference to something by using a reference to something

and you're not being meta about it. You think you're shitting on me. I think people that get mad about references are probably just stupid. Yeah, they don't fucking get the fucking references. I mean, I don't get references a lot.

No, that's not true, bro. But hey, I'm not going to hate on you for using them. You just got Camp David. I did. You just did that yourself. And I got the West Wing too. Yes.

Proud of myself. Yes, dude. Some Aaron Sorkin shit. Big time. Who's the director of the West Wing, the show? Oh, yeah. It's a good show. Great show. From what I've seen. Dulé Hill. A couple shit. Big time. Who's the director of the West Wing, the show? Oh, yeah. It's a good show.

Great show. From what I've seen. Dulé Hill. Et cetera. We watched a couple episodes in school, but it was pretty good. Maybe I'll throw that on tonight. Yeah, dude.

I feel like all school is now is just like showing a TV show about whatever you're learning. Yeah, it's awesome. That's the best. It's when you watch like a nice movie or a show. Tests are bullshit, though.

And teachers cannot be reading papers. Apparently, they're getting rid of like a nice movie or a show. Tests are bullshit though. And teachers cannot be reading papers. Apparently they're getting rid of like a lot of like standardized testing. Yeah, because it's like racist or something. I don't know. Like schools aren't really like doing, apparently like colleges nowadays aren't really looking for SATs or ACTs anymore. They just want to know if your parents are rich. Yeah, pretty much.

Like how big of a library can you donate to school? Yeah. yeah pretty much like how big of how big of a library can you donate to school yeah or what like uh like super rare like illness or affliction yeah has like thrust you into a childhood of depression my friend when he was doing that speech was that last episode where he talked about the speech yeah yeah um he we were on our way to like i we went to his class and i like edited the podcast in like the lobby like just to his class and i like edited the podcast in like the lobby like just of the school and he like did it when it went and did his class and we were on we were we were on our way there and he was like he's like this is gonna suck he's

like i guarantee like every single person's is just gonna be like about depression anxiety and then he said that's like exactly what it was yeah i mean i think i did that when i was in college for like three months it's the easiest shit to write papers on yeah because no one can give you any negative feedback no I can't because it's my personal story it's like I'm depressed and the thing that makes me more depressed is when anyone challenges me

is getting B's on my papers that's what I don't like because anything other than an A makes me super depressed so if you want the blood on your hands Miss Miss Linsky, it's really on you. It's a good hack. Professor. Fuck yeah.

All right. All right, bro. Have fun in Florida. Yeah. Well, I'll be back on Monday. I know. And we'll see each other for the rest of the week. So yeah, just an FYI.

I'm not missing any work. Thanks for keeping track, guys. And they will keep track. They will. Oh, they will. So Sass flew out on Friday afternoon. Interesting. Didn't realize it was a half day.

Yeah. All right, guys. Thanks for listening. I'll make sure to give this a thumbs up, five stars, comment. YouTube, YouTube. YouTube, podcast, Spotify, thumbs up, five stars. Let's give it all. All right.

Thanks, guys. See you next week.