Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 56 - He's The Joker, Baby

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 56 - He's The Joker, Baby -- The fellas discuss Sas' birthday party, Rone's compliment battles, new merch, the NBA playoffs, DaBaby, Tekashi 6ix9ine, Air Bud, & much, much more -- Full episodes also available on YouTube, thanks for listening/watching! #BoyDadYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is Monday, April 18th. It is 10.23 a.m. 10.23?

That's early for us to be recording. That is early. Why would we be doing something like that? Because I think I might be dead in the next couple hours. Yeah? Yeah. Dude, you couldn't even wash your hair this morning, bro? I didn't shower.

Ew, bro. What the fuck, dude? I showered last night, though. Why didn't you shower this morning? Didn't have time. Why? I had to get up so early. Fuck, dude. All to make the magic clip it clip this shit clip this send it to erica i had to wake up at 3 a.m to fly back to new york

just to get some just to just to make some magic just to be able to work first thing in the morning yeah and her office is conveniently empty now she's here i saw her oh fuck i just actually was the only person here really because she grinds No, she's here. I saw her. Oh, fuck. She actually was the only person here. Really? Because she grinds harder than everybody except us. She was here before Big Cat. What? Yeah.

No wonder they're the billionaires that run this company. The oligarchs of Barstool. Yeah. But where were you? Yeah, I'm a little sleepy. I was in Florida for Easter for like a day oh my gosh that's so sweet how was that did you find a lot of eggs no did you get to sit on the bunny's lap no um it was fine don't fucking joke about that i'm not a fucking kid no we didn't do we don't

really celebrate easter but it was like my little sisters are on April break, so they're in Florida. Very nice. What'd you do the entire time? Sat on the beach, drank some IPAs, something heavy. Pretty much, yeah. Hell yes. Yeah. Did you have to walk to the beach or drive there? Walk.

That's fucking plush. Yeah. That's a different tax bracket. The closer you get to the beach, the less transportation you need to take to get to the beach, the better the vacation's going to be. Yeah, I mean, it was fun. We only went to the beach yesterday. I got there. So I went the first night, slept at my cousin's house. My parents weren't there yet. Then my parents picked me up the next morning and then I went with them. But then we didn't get there until like 5 o'clock. So we just went to dinner and went home. And then they all went to bed at like 8 30 not even kidding

did you have some nice seafood at dinner i did yeah yeah i could tell and then because you stink like it and then i watched uh moneyball by myself and got fucked up i bet you could watch moneyball 25 times this year oh it's such a good movie how many times have you seen it this calendar year no i've only seen it like yeah i've only seen like three times but all this year though yeah probably so i bet you could get to 25 i would hope that would be a good goal i think that you could do it let's uh let's sit down and watch moneyball you pick it up on some of the fucking the hidden gems of moneyball the fucking more nuanced details of what Billy Bean was getting after?

Trying to, yeah. I mean, Billy Bean's a genius. You probably watch more Moneyball than sports this year. Oh, 100%. I don't watch sports. What sporting events have you watched this year? I watched the end of March Madness. What do you mean the end?

The last game? Or the last couple games? Last couple games. Okay. And then I watched... Actually, I watched a good bit of March Madness. What does that... What do you mean the end? The last game? Or the last couple games? Last couple games. Okay. And then I watched... Actually, I watched a good bit of March Madness. And then I watched the... Super Bowl?

Super Bowl. What else? Oh, I watched the Celtics last night. Fucking barn burner. Sick fucking game, bro. Good game. What a fucking pass by Makish Matt down at the fucking end. That dude fucking crushes puss.

Despite having acne. So much pussy. He's a shining star for us folks with acne. You don't have acne. A little. I don't have any acne. Fuck. Well, Marcus Martin is at least-

You think we're falsely advertising this podcast as an acne podcast? Yeah, that's our one thing we have going for us. Yeah, clear skin. Glowing skin. I haven't washed my face once ever in my entire life. It's just natural oils. It's just natural oils that make you shine through. Where does acne even come from?

Ugly people, ugly genetics. Dude, but you just said he crushes pussy despite having acne. Because he's a professional basketball player. So you don't think that he'd crush any pussy if he didn't play pro basketball. He's like 6'4", 230. He's like a true Sigma male. But he's a Sigma male, though. You're that tall and you're not in the NBA.

It's more embarrassing. But 6'4 is right at the cusp of being too tall. I think that if he were 6'5", he'd be gangly. But at 6'4", 230, he's Sigma. Like KD. Yeah, like the biger. Like KD. Yeah, like the big homie. KD's like the Slenderman.

That dude is so tall. You know him from the memes, right? He's the guy from Twitter. No, I know. I just know KD. Do you actually? Obviously. I don't know if you do.

Who doesn't know KD? I feel like a lot of people don't know KD, especially guys who don't watch sports, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Isn't he like one of the best basketball players ever? He is one of the best basketball players ever. I don't have the energy for your mind games right now. I'm not. I'm not playing mind games. I thought you just knew him from Twitter.

That's how I know him. Obviously, I know his Twitter, dude. He's got bangers. He's got fucking sick bangers. He tweeted at me one time Before we Really He was like I want to see my boy Roan

Battle rap against Disaster No way Yeah In 2009 though That's crazy You were You were but a Fucking rambunctious sperm

Yeah I was 8 years old Yeah That's hilarious Me and KD were fucking Chopping it up bro That's awesome That's a pretty good one to get replying to you. He didn't even reply to you.

No, he replied to someone else. Damn. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah, it was cool. It was a great moment. And I've held on to it like a fucking gold stone. But you hate him, right?

No, I fucking love that guy. I hang on to it like an ancestral gem, like something that's been passed down. It means so much to me that he wrote that. I'm about to get an NFT of it and sell it for $270 million. That's something that you should get framed. You saw that- Mac Miller had a framed tweet from when Jay-Z said that Mac Miller was cool. Really?

Damn, that would be fucking legendary. Yeah. Did you see that dude who tried to sell the NFT of the first ever tweet? Did you see that dude who tried to sell the NFT of the first ever tweet? And it was like the dude Jack sold his NFT of his first tweet ever for like $3 million to charity. And the guy tried to flip it for like $48 million. And at auction it went for $1,100. Nobody wanted that shit.

Because it's just like fucking pointless. Like needs an nft of of a fucking thing that just exists somewhere else yeah that will exist forever yeah it's just like he already owns the thing and that's the tweet like he has that because he owns the twitter account you don't need to fucking make an nft of everything yeah that's stupid remember when we got roasted for our nft take on uh on the barstool main account oh yeah well i mean they'll roast anything that we say we're gonna prove we'll be proven right the fucking i mean yeah it's already people are already not giving a fuck about nfts yeah people are jumping off fast on nfts you fool because it's dumb um but before we get into anything these these sweatshirts, brand new, son of a boy dad.

They're really nice sweatshirts. They're not like the Champion or Gildan. They're heavy material. This is some shit that you would see at Urban Outfitters. Urban Outfitters can't even afford it. If we want to shout out the manufacturer, Independent Trading Company. It's an independent trading company. So it's local business, support local businesses.

No, they're made in China, it says. Oh, okay. Support local. These are really, really nice. Like this is a sweatshirt that I would wear every day. Yeah. I probably will wear it for every day for a couple weeks. And you also don't lie about that kind of shit because we sometimes do make fun of other merch that we have.

This is like the real deal. This is the best merch that we've ever had by far. You called me to tell me about this merch. Yes. Being like, this is fucking good-ass merch. It's heavy merch. A gust of wind is not going to fucking rip this shit off you like everything else in the Barstool store.

You get anything else in the Barstool store. It's not made of tissue paper. Yeah, of hopes and dreams. Paper mache and good thoughts. else in the barstool store yeah you get anything else like it's not made of tissue paper yeah of hopes and dreams yeah so uh good thoughts these will hopefully be out by the time that this episode is out they should be um buy them buy them we got a lot more stuff coming should be similar quality because we're i mean we're just pumping insane amounts of merch out and the company decided they're gonna they want to they want to invest in us and they're giving us the better and it's the difference they're giving us the brianna chicken fry level merch exactly it's the difference between regular merch and

brianna chicken fry merch and for us that means that's the difference between flying coach in the back of the plane and flying first class first class a little bit of recognition exactly we're still in the setting up tables phase of our career 100 and we're setting up tables and that's fine we'll sell the merch we'll set up the tables but we want to sit career. 100%. And we're setting up tables, and that's fine. We'll sell the merch. We'll set up the tables. But we want to sit in first class. Also, we have this plaque in front of us. It's not our plaque, but we thought maybe

it could be used as some sort of inspiration to get you guys to hit the subscribe button while you're watching because I know the analytics, and almost everyone who watches the podcast is not subscribed to the YouTube channel. Wait, really? How do you know that that you can see how many people are watching that are subscribed and stuff and most of them are not subscribed so let's go ahead and seriously so easy it costs you nothing and it won't be a hindrance or burden to your life it's not like you're signing up for a

fucking newsletter no it's not gonna help us at all either we just want the plaque and it will help us a little bit not really but we really just want either. We just want the plaque. And it will help us a little bit. Not really. But we really just want hardware. We really just want the plaque so me and Roan can do lines of Adderall off of it. And because it'll say Little Sasquatch as YouTube. And it'll say Little Sasquatch. Dude, when you just held that up to your face and it reflected, your face did shine. It's your most evil moment. I'm in bad shape right now.

You just saw your reflection in the YouTube plaque Yikes That's a tough fucking spot That's like narcissists looking down into the lake You ever hear that Greek tragedy About where the word narcissism comes from It's from a dude who couldn't stop bending over the lake To look at his own reflection

Really? Yeah He just fucking fell in love with his own reflection Narcissist I could see that Being the first person to see your own reflection really yeah he just fucking fell in love with his own reflection narcissist i could see that being the first person to see your own reflection yeah it'd probably be incredible i'd be intoxicating when i'm like walking by stores and stuff i always look at my reflection and there's probably someone working in the store being like why is that guy picking his nose no just like while i'm strutting by you walk like uh because you could always tell what someone is

you have to turn your head fully at 90 degrees. There's no pretending you're not doing it. I got to make sure my fit's looking fly as hell. And it never is. You have good natural style though I think.

No. I think that it's like it's not tragic. Not quite. You know what I mean? It's a little bit. It's on its way there. But it has like its own...

I feel like the first step is finding clothes that fit in a way that's flattering to your body. Second step is finding brands that you like. Third step is like cultivating like a style of your own. And I think you're between numbers one and two. And the fourth step is buying a son of a boy dad sweatshirt. And then the fucking evolution is complete. Then you're in final form, hot guy. Yeah.

I don't know what the prices are going to be on these. Oh, they'll be millions of dollars. They might be more expensive, but you're paying for a better, like a significant, like this is a sweatshirt you will wear for years. And that's a promise. Oh my God. Well, it's never, it's not fast fashion. No. All this other shit is fast fashion.

This shit is fucking future vintage. Yeah. This is a real sweatshirt. They're going to be fucking dripping this shit at L-Train Vintage in 30 years. They probably will. It will. I had so many people, when I was getting my makeup done for the Joker face paint. Oh, gotcha.

But for the act, the lady was like, oh my God, I love your sweatshirt. How old is he? And I was like, what? She called it a... She thought I had a child. Oh, really? Thought I had a son. Oh, I thought she was calling the garment a he.

No, she was like, how old? Like when girls are like, I like her. She's cute. I'm talking about a new dress. She thought that you were actually a dad? She thought I had a son. I was like, oh, no, no. I'm 21 years old. I do not about a new dress. She thought that you were actually a dad? She thought I had a son. I was like, oh, no, no. I'm 21 years old.

I do not have a kid. She thought you were on Teen Mom? Yeah. That's funny. She's like, that's adorable. How old? No, no, no. Son of a boy dad.

Yeah. I'm a child. I have a dad. That's all this shirt says. It's crazy how clear the phrase son of a boy that is and so many people just don't, they can't follow the syntax of it. And then I think someone else,

it might have been the same lady was like, so it's like your dad, like are you and your dad really close? And I was like, I don't know. I was like, it's just like the name of our podcast. I mean, he did watch the case race twice. He did. In its totality.

Yeah. Which is eight hours of programming, which is more than the sports you've watched this year. Stretch it out, bro. Free your fucking shoulders. I can't wait to go home and sleep. I took a fat nap yesterday. Yeah? A fucking long one.

I put a big couch cushion between my legs and fucking oh my god how did you feel when you woke up worse than before no incredibly refreshed i don't understand when i was like a four hour sleep which is like a full night's sleep yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm about to do when i go home yeah just a fat ass nap but i guess sometimes naps are uh naps are weird because if you get the the-minute sleep, I forget who the fuck it was. Some dude used to hold a pencil in his hand, and he would just doze until he was asleep enough that he dropped the pencil, and it would jolt him awake. But he said that that's all you need to refresh your brain. But if you get an hour sleep, if you fuck with a REM cycle—

You can't get into a REM cycle and break out of it. Yeah, then it's fucked. Then you need to go like a full a couple full REM cycles yeah yeah um which is what I saw on a tiktok one time my perfect when I when I used to in college between classes was I would uh I would go home set my alarm for like 17 minutes because apparently it takes like seven minutes to fall asleep or it can take seven minutes to fall asleep. That's like an average. Yeah. And then I would sleep for 10 minutes

and then I would pop up and be refreshed. Yeah, I think that's what the dude who dropped the pencil was. He was on like a 17-minute, 20-minute, 18-minute or something like that. But if you do like 30 minutes, you're in trouble. You might as well fucking murder yourself. Yeah, you're in trouble. You might as well have severed off your head and tried to sew it back onto your body

because that shit is not going to be working. No. It's not going to be functioning at all. Were you an early morning class person or would you try to get it in a chunk or would you try to schedule so you only had classes on Tuesday and Thursday and had a fat ass weekend? Yeah, that was basically what I did. Yeah. Well, the school that I went to didn't even have, they don't have classes on Fridays. Harvard?

Yeah. We don't have classes on Friday, but I think I scheduled it so I had classes. I only had class two days a week. That's fucking sweet. That is like a prerogative that you get in college. Yeah. So I had like a bunch of classes on Monday and then like a couple on Wednesday and then I had no class the rest of the week. That's fucking genius.

Like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every single week. And so Thursday night, you're going fucking ballistic. Yeah, it would usually be like I would try to, but like also not everyone would like go out because they all have class. Or Thursday night, everyone would go out. Wednesday night, no one would. So I would would just lay low play some video games smoke a j did you uh did you cry when your parents left you at college no my my parents cried though really yeah how'd that make you feel i think i probably cried like a couple hours later when i was like damn i'm probably gonna kill myself here and then your home at home isn't

your home anymore yeah I had a rough beginning of college what was rough about it just had a hard time adapting because your parents weren't there anymore yeah I also got like really really sick for like over a month it is like going to preschool all over again yeah it's just a whole fresh new petri dish you don't have your parents to wipe your butt anymore and like fucking give you formula i got like super into working out and then i got mono and then i uh i remember i would like try and work out with mono but i was like i'm just gonna do like arms or something like that so you got everybody sick no no it was after like i wasn't contagious anymore. Well, actually, you're contagious for over a year, so it doesn't really matter.

But I think you're contagious with mono for 18 months or some shit. Really? Yeah. Were you working at Barstool with mono? Probably, yeah. What the fuck, dude? Oh, yeah, definitely, actually. What?

Yeah. You probably started COVID. I might do. Whatever I had was like, I think it was a new type of disease. Yeah. I was so sick for so long. And you were just in the fucking gym, spew, just like. No.

So like apparently if you work out with mono, your spleen can explode and like you can just die. So I would like. So you were trying to like, it was like death by cop. Yeah. You're trying to like give yourself death by fucking hammer curl i was trying to just like work out really lightly but like still get a workout in of course and then if my spleen started hurting at all i would instantly just leave the gym and i remember being that's a terrible strategy i feel like no i mean if i

was if i wasn't gonna if i felt myself on the brink of death i would stop that's like basically what i was doing and i i remember one day i was like so depressed and I was doing like arms and like within like two reps all of a sudden just like a sharp ass pain in my spleen. And I just had to like shuffle home from the gym because I couldn't even walk because I was like, am I like it's going to explode. I'm going to die. And then I remember some kid being like, oh, yeah, dude, you shouldn't do that. Like my cousin almost died from that. Damn. And apparently like you it's being like, oh, yeah, dude, you shouldn't do that. Like, my cousin almost died from that. Damn. And apparently, like, it's really, like, I think.

Where is your spleen? The front or your back? Where do you feel the pain? I think it's front. I think it's, like, your left. Damn, my spleen has been fucking killing me. I've been having a pain over here for a while. I think it's your left side, like, right under your ribs.

Yeah? Yeah. That's your spleen? Yeah. Huh. And if that shit explodes. Where's your, um... What's the other thing that can explode?

Not your pancreas. Your appendix. Appendix? That's your lower right side. Fuck, bro. Right by the tummy. You know your shit, bro. Yeah, it's because I thought all those things were going to explode at different points in my life.

That would be hilarious if it was just like just balloons popping inside of you. Yeah. I mean, this year I almost went to the hospital. It was like a couple months ago. I almost went to the hospital because I thought my appendix was bursting, and then it just turned out I was constipated. I wrote my college essay on that. Yeah, it happened to you.

On what? Going to the hospital, thinking of my appendix burst. They were about to put him under the knife. Yeah. They were like, oh, wait, it's the wrong side. What class was it that you could just write about having, about being backed up? That was my trying to get into college essay. Really?

Yeah. Did it work well? Yeah, I got in where i wanted to go really i made it like a metaphor for life i thought it was deep at the time that does sound deep as fuck what what did you what parallels did you draw uh you know in life it's not a always a burst appendix sometimes it's just shit in your ass that's a good uh that's a good metaphor holy fuck yeah i could see that when when Remember when they used to make movies? I could see that being like a college movie or some shit like that,

like a sweet-ass voiceover, like the girl next door. That whole movie was just like a bunch of voiceovers of him being like, sometimes you've got to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze. You've just got a bunch of shit in your ass. Sounds like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yeah, a high school movie where it's just a bunch of voiceovers. Do you think movies will ever come back? Like a fun-ass movie?

We should try and make a fully VO movie. Just everything is voiced over. I feel like it's, I can't tell if it's like lazy. If it's just like lazy to just tie everything together. Like, that's me. You see that guy? Being a voice actor would be an awesome job. Who only does voice acting?

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people that do it. You think it's more important that you're a good actor or that you just have like a goofy ass silly voice like the lady who plays Bart Simpson on The Simpsons? Yeah, I think you have to have a good voice for whatever role you're getting. A goofy, weird voice. Or you can have a good voice like Morgan Freeman, a narrator in every single movie.

But he has the chops to actually act. I'm thinking of the people who peaked as voice actors and couldn't even make it in actual Hollywood. You know what I mean? Well, they probably just do commercials and shit. But they probably fucking cake. I guess The Simpsons has to be the best voice acting gig of all time. I think that they're just making that so those people can continue to cash their paychecks.

I mean, I think there's a lot of people that then they go and learn the impression, and then when that person... Didn't the original SpongeBob dude die? Did he? I think he died, and now they have a new dude, but now I'm sure there's over a million people who have the SpongeBob impression down to a t that is funny that if you just become

famous enough people can just impersonate your voice yeah like didn't that i think that happened with like journey or something like that the band and now it's like a small korean boy who just like sings all their shit it's just like someone who had the perfect impression. It's always like a Filipino woman in a poor neighborhood who has the exact same voice as Whitney Houston, who can sing, and I will always love you exactly the same as Whitney Houston or some shit like that. There's some comedian who we saw at that 9-11 memorial show, he could do like every impression and was so fucking good at them. Jay Pharoah? It might have been.

I think it was Jay Pharoah. He was just on KFC radio, wasn't he? Was he? I think so. He's fucking sick. Dude, his impressions are crazy. It is crazy when someone that has like, yeah, just has that talent. Yeah.

Just has that Molinaro say quoi. Yeah. That thing about them that. Have you heard his Obama? Jay Pharo talent. Yeah. Just has that Molinaro say quoi. Yeah. That thing about them that... Have you heard his Obama? Jay Pharoah? Yeah. I don't know if I have. It's like, it sounds exactly like Obama.

I wonder what the skill is that lets people have such a good impression. Is it a good mouth? Is it a good ear? Which one is it? Is it just like the shape of your mouth? I don't know. Or you can just hear shit really well? Or you're really perceptive? It's a shape of your mouth? I don't know. Or you can just hear shit really well? Or you're really perceptive?

It's a great quality to have. I don't know. I mean, maybe you can just like practice it and be good at them. I have no idea. I don't think you can, though. I think that there's like an innate quality. I think it's like singing where it's like you can practice it up to a certain level, but it's also like talent at a certain level.

Like you can't practice your way up to being Adele. You can't just like belt like that yeah I don't it definitely is something that just like some people can do and some people can't because like I mean there's people that can do I mean isn't like Bill Hader can do a ton of good impressions yeah but he's also funny as fuck too like he has he's one of the few guys that really bridges the gap between like actually being able to do crazy funny stuff well yeah yeah the impressions are only funny if you're doing funny stuff with them it's not just funny like doing an impression and just saying what they would actually say dude there was a time when i thought documentary now and

all that bill hater shit was like the funniest thing on tv oh yeah it is really funny it's incredible and it but it was like my very favorite show for a while. Like those dudes are just funny as fuck. Him, Fred Armisen. Was that, did Lorne Michaels produce that? Probably. I think that he owns like everything that they ever do afterwards or something like that. I don't think he owns it, but I think he produces like all of their shit. Yeah.

I wonder how that works. He produced a John Mulaney show and it got canceled like very quickly. Because John Mulaney's A fucking coke addict Who cheats on his fucking wife dude Don't even fucking get me started On that shit dude Dude John Mulaney's the goat

Only thing I hate worse Than a fucking coke addict Is a cheater bro Who else Jim Carrey does Good impressions But his are a little too His are a little too silly for me

Caliendo Caliendo was an early goat mad TV Nick Mullins impressions are hilarious yeah he's been I've been seeing a bunch of his shit on like more social media shit recently than like just like videos of him doing impressions like a bunch just

popped up on my timeline over this past this past week I think he posted like one video on Instagram and people were just posting them everywhere. Yeah? Yeah. I saw a couple different ones. I don't know, but he is a- The Tucker Carlson one?

Yeah, that was a good one. But then there was an- I don't even know what other one I saw. But yeah, he's just a natural talent at it. He's just a crazy natural talent. Yeah, it's crazy. I feel like there's nothing I could do to work my way up to – I don't even know if I have enough self-awareness of control of what my body is actually doing.

Yeah, I don't know. Like dudes who can do impressions like that. I mean there's – dude, there's some people – the also thing is a lot of impressionists – like a lot of that is like very difficult to work into like stand-up. Very. Or like it just has to be like a funny-ass joke and then you sprinkle the impression on top of it. Like Shane had that thing about his Trump impression on stage, which was funny.

Shane Gillis. Yeah. Yeah. But what do you mean? He had the thing about his Trump impression? What? Well, he did the Trump impression joke in his special, I think. Oh, yeah.

And it was funny as fuck. Yeah. But there's not really much you can do. Just make a funny-ass fucking joke about it. You know what else is super impressive to me is when people who are natural dancers and they can see choreography and they'll pick it up on the next round around

and be like, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, and fucking just hit the exact same stuff. That actually happened in real life. Yes, dude. High school musical. No,

I think that there's people who like are like, I mean, you have to be a trained dancer. You probably have to be familiar with all the moves, but like you watch it once and people have like photographic dance memories and they can just like hit like a fucking sweet ass choreography and like skip across the room and just do the exact shit. I mean, if you think about it, it's probably all just combinations of different dance moves.

Right, but that they have, like, a— So they know all the dance moves. It's probably pretty easy to pick something up like that. All right, well, it's impressive to me, dude. Nah, it's impressive. I didn't realize you were fucking one of the Jabberwockies who can just fucking hit whatever fucking dance move you want, dude. I could Jabberwockie if I wanted to. Yeah, right, dude. I could jab a walkie if I wanted to. Yeah, right, dude.

No way. You couldn't hit like... Everyone did the video with the jab walkies, and it was like the coolest thing ever. It was really sweet. And now DaBaby just can't stop shooting people legally. Yeah. He's just like picking people off, dude.

He really did. He had a hard... That was like his peak by a lot. I watched that video like a thousand times. I think he's still on the incline. Oh, no, dude. People hate him. DaBaby? Yeah. But some people's still on the incline. Oh no, dude. People hate him. Though, baby?

Yeah. But some people love him. Some people do. I still listen to him all the time. He's got some heaters. He has incredible, he just has a natural, incredible rapping cadence.

I don't give a fuck if all the songs sound the same because I like the song. Yeah. The one song that he's basing it all off of. Yeah, it's a great rapping cadence. More of it.

And he also is like the greatest legal scholar of our time yeah he knows every loophole and is like crawling through him like where did who did he shoot this time some an intruder at his house did you hear the uh the uh like 9-1-1 call it was just like i shot him and they're like is he like responsive and they're like kate you can't hear him screaming right now he No, I didn't. The guy's just moaning in the background like. No, I didn't see that. Oh, my God. I didn't even know that was a real thing that happened.

Yeah, he just shot someone else. I just knew he shot the dude in the Walmart. He shot the dude in the Walmart, got away with it, got free. He knows exactly how and when you can shoot someone. And he's always putting himself in those situations. How many people has he shot legally? Upwards of 20. Every holiday he likes to shoot somebody.

He's like Dexter. Yeah. They're all really bad guys. Yeah. He just maims bad guys. We should get him on the podcast. He's always just shooting dudes in the leg. Yeah, probably.

Ask him if he can teach us a thing or two. Yeah, exactly. in the leg yeah probably ask him if he can teach us a thing or two yeah exactly he uh he had spicy takes but i mean what else is he but a take craftsman at this point in his life remember the video of him where the person comes up to the window and they're like yo what up i loved you on the box bro and he's like that wasn't me he rolls the window up i don't think i saw you've never seen that i think it's fake but it's fucking hilarious they confused him for roddy rich yeah damn that's fucking sick the baby um let's jump into one of these motherfucking ads while you're looking that shit up coinbase Coinbase. Coinbase. This shit is fucking... This shit is the truth.

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All right, ready? Watch this video. Come on. Coinbase. This video is presented by Coinbase. Not right now, bro. No peace. Not right now, bro.

No peace. I'm a big fan, bro. I listen to all your music. not right now bro no fish not right now bro no fish I'm a big fan bro I listen to all your music what's your favorite song uh you did the box right fuck you nigga that's incredible

definitely fake who knows man he had a little smirk at the end. He's a good actor. No, dude. The baby, if it was real, he would have shot him. No, dude. That wouldn't have been legal.

If it was real, he would have knocked the dude out. I don't know what went down in that Walmart. I don't know what happened on that freeway. Some dude, did you ever see the video of the the dude who tries to like walk up on him in like the versace store or something and the guy like films himself like walking up to him and is like yeah i'm about to fucking check the baby and then there's like a video of somebody else's perspective in the versace store like two minutes later and he's beating the piss out of the dude he just is obliterating them no i've So you can like stitch the two videos together and see he fucking absolutely

mangles this, dude. That's crazy. He is like the internet's idea of like a Sigma male. I think he's got a huge dick. What was the shit that he did with the

sex tapes galore? Where he went on stage and he was like super homophobic. Yeah, he's like hey, shout out to shout out to everybody who don't be kissing on boys in the

parking lot it was a sucking on dick in the parking lot with age yeah just the spiciest takes of all time dude he cannot he did that at like rolling loud didn't he yeah he did it at like the pride festival or something it's crazy too because the crowd was going like nuts they were when he said that? Yeah. Wait, so they were into what he was saying? I'm pretty sure. They didn't even try

to cancel him in the moment now. And then after they found out, they were like, yeah, dude, that was super fucked up. That was super fucked up. What happened?

I was actually booing him. When Elton, because then Elton John released his statement and you can't go against Elton John. You can't go against EJ, bro. Fucking John.

That's God, as far as you know. John's the fucking, the piano man? Wait, no, is he the piano man? No, he's not the piano man. That's Joel. He as you know John's the fucking The piano man Wait no Is he the piano man No he's not the piano man That's Joel

He's the rocket man Oh the rocket man That's whack that they both Have the same style And they just had Piano man and rocket man Not even close to the same style Piano

Fucking Belters on the piano bro Elton John's better than Billy Joel Why do you Why do you even try to Pit artists against Against one another bro And DaBaby's better than The Elton John Billy Joel too

So it goes Elton John DaBaby Billy Joel Top three That's my Mount Rushmore Only takes three And they get it all fucking done You shouldn't be pitting artists against one another though That shit is fucking whack.

It's just corny as fuck. I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do. Nah, bro. I fucking stopped it at the fucking jabberwocky slander. I was not slandering the jabberwockies. I love the jabberwockies. No, you fucking don't, bro. I told you, dude, that when they were in the DaBaby video, I loved it.

And you said that was both of their peaks. As if they didn't do that video with fucking Stephen A. Smith where he's fucking coming out. Or the one with Shaq. The DaBaby thing is the coolest video. It's one of the best music videos ever. Yeah, and you're right.

And you acted like he peaked there and then you gave a ton of video evidence and fucking anecdotal evidence of DaBaby going above and beyond that was like peak da baby like the baby had no haters everyone was like damn like the baby's next up then he releases this dope ass video it got like a billion views then he passed the torch to harlow but dude it's crazy how uh harlow like uh people just hate the fuck out of him now people really don't like him it was an overnight fucking hate story

he got to a certain level of success and everybody collectively was like we hate this dude they went from we love this dude to we hate this dude overnight and I don't know what the moment was was it when he was in Turks with Drake do you think that's what it was

when he was with Drizzy when he was on fucking Caicos with Drake is that when you started getting haters when was in Turks with Drake? Do you think that's what it was? When he was with Drizzy? Yeah, when he was on fucking Caicos with Drake. Is that when you started getting haters? When you hung out with Drake? Yeah, bro. When Drizzy brought me down to Caicos, Turks and cake. Eating steak.

No, I don't know, dude. I mean, I see pictures of people just posting what he looks like. And they're just like, wait, hold up. They're like, wait, hold a second. This is Jack Harlow? And he looks exactly the same as he had looked. Yeah. Or people are like, this is what he thinks he looks like. I would be pretty bummed if I saw that about myself.

Same. Wait, this is him? Or like, dude, he just gave like, like his new song is like the biggest song that's out right now. So more songs than any new songs. His new song is the biggest song that's out right now. So are more songs than any new songs. And there's still people who are trying to be like, he gave up this song and this is the verse he put on it.

People just out of nowhere, the most random people are deciding to be like, he's corny now. Like Josh D.M. Being like... Is that what he's saying? I think that Josh D.M. Maybe I'm fucking hating on Josh D.M. But I think that he tried to flame a fucking Jack Harlow verse,

be like, dude, this fucking dude is corny right now. I like Jack Harlow. This n-word's corny right now. I don't listen to a lot of Jack Harlow, but I think he's a joke. It's just so corny how people will just flip on something like that once it gets to a certain level. It's called haters. I had to look over at Owen so he had my back on that one.

Make up 50% of my net worth. I was like, fuck. More than that, bro. That's what Bukowski says. Really? Haters make up that much of his net worth? 50%. Yeah?

Well, he said it before he died. Tragically. Bukowski did? Bukowski, they got him the fuck out of here? Yeah. Damn, bro. He talked a really long time ago. Fuck, bro.

Oh, God. That shit is devastating. We just got to get you caught up on some literature. Or just who's dead and alive. I don't necessarily care. But you tell me James Joyce is dead, I'll fuck it. I'll be going through it, dude. I'll be going through the troubles.

What? Voice of SpongeBob's alive. Oh, really? Creator's dead. Ah. Dude, the soundtrack to SpongeBob is so good. Yeah? Or just all the songs are just...

How many times did you freestyle over that, like, SpongeBob trap remix? I didn't, but I learned the Baltimore... You 100% did. I learned the Baltimore club dance to SpongeBob. The freestyle? You definitely used to rap over it. I don't think I'd... I mean... I don't think i i don't i mean i don't think i'd

lie about that one because i i freestyled over some bad shit dude but uh i i did i mean it was all culturally relevant spongebob wasn't culturally culturally relevant i said it all was everything that spongebob has ever put out has been culturally relevant yeah spongebob's great show and it show. And it was an incredible time when he was just like, he was the meme lord for a while. Oh, yeah, he still is. Who do you think has gotten paid the most off Spongebob? It's probably a dude that we could walk past on the street and have no idea. The creator of Spongebob? A true genius.

Yeah. Probably. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what the... The whole soundtrack is appropriating hawaiian culture though true that's known but does the no one ever says where the bikini bottom takes place you think spongebob's hawaiian could be he's a big samoan dude yeah that would be sick if spongebob was hawaiian well he's a sponge spongebob with like an apostrophe in his name or some shit like that. Yeah.

That would be fire. And where do you think it takes place? Under the sea. It takes place in the Bikini Bottom, a fictional town at the bottom of the ocean. It's gotta exist somewhere. You think that it's just, it's probably just right by Atlantis.

Which Atlantis is in the Bahamas. So maybeantis is in the Bahamas. So maybe it's in the Bahamas. No. It's definitely in Hawaii. You believe in Atlantis? The lost city? The city under the sea?

I don't. Really? Do you? Of course. You believe in the Bermuda Triangle? Yeah. But you don't believe in Atlantis? No.

Really? Isn't the Bermuda Triangle just an area where there's a lot of storms? I think so. So what is that like what am I believing in? if you fly over that weather's bad there yeah do you are you a weather truther or denier because I think the shit is fake dude I think that there's somebody up there just dialing down the air conditioning fucking like someone who gets to a hotel room for the first time and that's how cold days are made i don't think it's like uh i don't believe that it's like some like haunted magical ocean where you sail there and get killed

i think that it's a government conspiracy i think it's just bad weather bro yeah similar to uh where i was similar to mount mount uh lafayette bro yes of course what you know about lafayette, bro. Yes, of course. What do you know about Lafayette? I hope to get there someday. You said you were going to take me, bro. Yeah, but you're always busy with work. You never take me anywhere. You've got to blow off work way more. I know. I really think I should.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. You've got to pick up your slack game. I should be slacking. Get your haters up. Making the rest of us look bad. Working my fucking tail off bro I was the

little white tail off like this deer bro damn do you want to talk about the show at all or no yeah how'd it go

I think it went good yeah Owen and Tyler were in the motherfucking building they stayed the entire time they were just absolute warriors

did you guys have to battle anyone no nothing broke out I'm surprised I'd assume there'd be like battles going on in the crowd They stayed the entire time They were just Absolute warriors Did you guys have to Battle anyone No Nothing broke out I'm surprised I'd assume there'd be like Battles going on in the crowd Just like side battles

Yeah There was like People in crevices Of the warehouse The whole day Just like practicing bars Oh yeah Which is sick

It is funny Did you feel like You were an 8 mile Uh yeah Kind of But it's more like Yo Rone you're on It's more like theatrical

I was like the one Telling people that they're on Like yo five minutes bro Yo Caustic five minutes You ready bro Just fucking get this shit How do they know when to stop Do you have to give them a light

I told them kind of How long to go You know They have to rap While counting the seconds In their head Yeah No you kind of know

How much Or do they give you Like a record scratch? Fuck a beat. I go acapella. It is kind of like that, dude. But it is exclusively going acapella. They know what they're going to say

for the most part beforehand. Some dudes were making it up as they go. The dude Sharon was kind of making it up as he went. And you flamed him. Earlier, but he was great in this. Don't you think? Yeah. Everybody was. Everybody was.

Everybody was incredible. Shirell was goaded. The last dude, this dude Frack against Geechee Gotti. So who won? Is Frack up next? Frack is like, Frack's having a little moment right now. It's really how hard he wants to go in the paint. But he has moments galore.

But this dude, Geechadi is like uh he is the like three-time reigning like champion of the year battle rapper of the year like consensus best battle rapper alive right now and this dude frack who went against him did like incredible against him too just super talented dudes people got the concept super nice to each other just good vibes the entire time that sounds awesome the compliment aspect of it like brought out how much of it is just like stand-up poetry it is really so fucking funny it is like stand-up poetry like you are which sounds soft gay yeah i was putting it in terms harry would be like, oh, maybe they are talented. No, I think it sounds cool.

I'm very excited to see it. Whatever your little thing is, it's dope. I texted you yesterday and I said I hope it went well. No, you did. You've been very supportive the entire time. I'm excited to see it. What if we told you Shane was there? Bro, don't tell me.

Yes, bro. Gillis. I would have flown back from Florida in a second yeah dude just kidding dude I was on the beach having a freaking blast I don't give a fuck one of the dudes who I'm trying my ass to get

to get off actually I won't fucking say it were you getting off? I'm about to get this dude off you're trying your ass to get someone off? Hey, yo. Pause. Bro, that was another thing about it that was like.

That's awesome. I already know what you're going to say. It's just like a little bit like some of this shit's like kind of gay. Like just like complimenting another dude is like a little bit like. It's kind of sus. It's kind of sus. Dead ass. like a little bit like,

uh, it's kind of sus. It's kind of sus. Dead ass. And like the New York, uh, like rap scene is like, uh,

it's like one of the, the main like pause capitals of the world where you could just really like pause someone like the baby would fucking love it. Like he would, it's like very like, yo, pause bro. And there's like, some of that is like,

uh, some of it's like kind of dissipated over the years and some of it is based on – it's like funny. It's like kind of funny to hear something. It's almost gay in and of itself to be like, oh, you're really riding the poles or something like that. It's like, yo, pause or something. Your mind has to be going to the place. That's what caught your eye. Yeah, exactly.

You imagine a massive dick and like somebody riding on it. And like you ascribe that meaning to something someone else was saying. But these dudes like would be hearing stuff and like one dude was just like, yo, I'm about to have to fade to the back on this one. This dude was like right in the front. That's awesome. This older dude, Suave Seva, who is just like an OG, a battle rap OG. And like he heard some of the shit and like he's like, I might have to fade to the back on this one. That's hilarious.

And I look back and he was like all the way against the wall. He was all the way against the wall. And the rest of the battles, the first one he watched like that, he was just like off camera in case some gay shit happened. And he was really enjoying himself, but he couldn't afford to be seen around someone just being like you fucking look good with your pants off i think new york dudes are like the straightest people alive yeah like or like really need to prove how straight they are they don't like they

don't fuck around with like gay jokes at all yeah yeah which has to be based in toxic masculinity, shrouded homosexuality, whatever you want to call it. So when is that coming out? Within the next – just got a message about it actually. Oh, shit. It's not coming out. Oh, fuck. That sucks. No, there should be another event in June so uh we want to make it coming out every

week so the next event's like i think june 11th or something so like five weeks before the week of june 11th or something like that so mid-may it'll start coming out on sling tv two weeks after that it'll start coming out on youtube youtube youtube I said that like I was from Baltimore. YouTube. And then two weeks, or yeah, and then mine will be the first one that comes out. Awesome. Fuck yes, brother.

Thank you for the support, friend. And there should be a behind the scenes video coming out. Kyler and Owen just shot hours of footage. You got a ton of fucking footage. And if we get to 100,000 followers, maybe we'll put it out on the channel. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Or maybe we get to 150 first or some shit like that.

I don't think 100 is good. No, we're going to get to 100 this week and then it won't be ready is the problem. True. We need to get to 100 this week. Yeah. Or we will self-harm. It was a mandate. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, they said that... Who do you think? They said we can't be on the road anymore. They said we had to get to 100K this week. We'll talk about it later. Or we can't be on the road anymore. Fuck.

We can't go on the road anymore. We're getting fired. And I want to get on the road, dude. Probably not. I'm trying to get on the road to see some freaking sports games. Baseball's back. Especially baseball. And basketball playoffs are happening right now.

I especially love basketball playoffs. And the only place to get the best, cheapest, last-minute tickets is with the app GameTime app. The app GameTime app. Last-minute is with the game time app ever dreamed of sitting in a seat you never thought you could behind home plate first row in the outfield catching dingers it's all possible with the game time app the biggest last minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought you could never buy. You poor bastard. Name your favorite sports teams.

We're buying all. Shit. They need to put a fact. I'm too tired. I'm so tired. Dude, I'm putting. You have no idea. I'm putting all of my energy. I could tell, dude.

And that's why I'm not even giving you a hard time about it. You're dumping the clip out. You're wringing the fucking cloth in every drip of energy. I'm empty. I'm empty. But here's a promise. If the Celtics or even the Nets wind up playing against the Sixers in the Eastern Conference Finals, you and I, we're going to go to a game.

Yeah. And we're going to get our tickets with the GameTime app. We're going to download the GameTime app. Facts. And we're going to get our tickets with the GameTime app. We're going to download the GameTime app. Facts. Go to the account tab, create a login, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Bro, if we go to a game in Boston and I'm fucking Sixersed out, will you sit next to me?

Yeah, but I'm not going to wear Sixers stuff. But I'm going to be whooping it up. They would beat your ass. Who would? The fans. I don't up they would beat your ass who would the fans i don't think they would dude yeah i don't actually never mind i wouldn't sit with you because you'd cause me a lot of problems that's what i mean that's why i'm asking if you would actually sit with me no i wouldn't i would make your life hell yeah that would suck i'll be at

peak peak obnoxious that would be so annoying yeah i would i would care so much celtics might win though and then you get me at my saddest. Which would be a nice consolation prize for me being an absolute dickhead. We need a dub. Yeah, is that true, Tyler? Yeah, we need a dub. Boston needs a dub bad. Why?

Just because after we lost Brady, shit's been looking rough. I think the Bruins are terrible. Is that true? Yeah, they're in the playoffs, bro. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, bro. You need to get on GameTime and you need to go to some more games. Lowest price guaranteed. You redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off on your first purchase.

I'm sorry. So were you like a god at the battle rap thing? Like did they make you sit on a throne? I wasn't a god, but I was, like, in charge. Were they calling you the prince? The prince is back! There were, like, 12 dudes lined up, six and six, with palm leaves

that were fucking waving them as I fucking walked into the venue, dude. I sat on a... It wasn't a throne, but it was a seat that I had them all, like, kind of carry me in. Yeah, like a bar mitzvah. They did their arms like this and just, like, fucking lifted me of carry me. Yeah, like a bar mitzvah. They did their arms like this and just like fucking lifted me up. Sounds like you were at a bar mitzvah.

Yeah, it was all the fucking high noons I could drink, bro. Oh, shit. Was it sponsored? No. Just a big fan of the product. I just love their product. I love the new Elderberry high noon. Is that a thing?

Oh, yeah. It keeps you from getting COVID. It's the only high noon with fucking a nice vax it keeps you from getting covid it's the only it's the only high noon with fucking a nice vax in there that's sick they got to do more of that dude high noon x pfizer has a new product product coming out it'll fucking beat that shit like rocky the new variant dude have you ever seen the drinks that are like like white claw clear. What even could that be? I saw a Bud Light Seltzer one, and it was a Bud Light Seltzer,

99 calories, zero carbs, no flavor. And I'm like, so this is just vodka. Is it flavorless? Yeah, it's just like vodka seltzer. Flavorless vodka? Yeah. Sounds incredible. It just sounds disgusting.

Why? I mean, it sounds dangerous. It sounds like you could drink a... What does it taste like? How is it? No, no. I've had one of the... I had one of the White Claw ones.

I saw the Bud Light ones the other day. The White Claw one just tastes like a vodka soda. It is weird that like... Wait, but I was... It's too gross for me. I don't like it. Every summer, all the liquor companies try to do the same thing. They're like, every summer there's like companies Like try to do Like the same thing They're like

Every summer There's like A new idea That comes out And everybody Tries to hop on it Simultaneously To have their

Try and carve out Their little market share And it's usually trash But like There's probably some Like high level Lab coat scientist Who's trying to like

Put together The next fucking Sweet ass drink Yeah I mean White Claw was the biggest thing For a while But I think

I honestly think High Noon blew White Claw like out of the water oh fuck yeah their flavors are so much better than white claw white claw like after drinking a couple white claws dude we don't have like barstool's not affiliated with them in any way are they no not at all in fact we're we're affiliated with high noon yeah so the more we disparage white claw the more after drinking like a couple white claws it feels like you've been like like your teeth feel like you've been like eating candy all day yeah you know i'm talking about it feels like you've been chewing on tinfoil yeah oh i hate them but high noon has that pure clean flavor and it doesn't have you're drinking juice and there's no hangover yeah so why don't you head on over to son of a boy dad.com slash noon

no i'm kidding that was not an ad. That was just guys riffing. And that's just how we fucking feel about that shit. That was just guys talking about the company that we love. What's your drink going to be this summer? Whiskey. Yeah? Yeah?

Yeah. No way you're about to go to like a bar in the middle of the day in a fucking, at no shower happy hour at the fucking OD, dude. There's no way you're going to be at a fucking sweet-ass bar drinking a whiskey neat.

Gin and tonic, maybe. G&T, bro. Gin and tonic's a nice summer drink. No, I only drink beer, and I'm quitting beer after this week. I don't want to go to Austin at all. Don't make me go. Why?

You're tight 30? God, if I'm doing 30 minutes, I'm getting on the first flight home. Don't make me go Why you're not ready You don't have You're tight 30 I don't God if I'm doing 30 minutes I'm getting on the first flight home So how long you doing I'm hoping 10 Why did you have a flag

I don't know dude That's too much I was kind of hoping I was like gonna sneak in Yeah Do a couple spots Or it's just a lot of pressure It's like fucking awesome

It's like getting a billboard Like you posing in front of your flag It's like being the United Nations Or something like that I don't want a flag They do it's like fucking awesome it's like getting a billboard like you posing in front of your flag it's like being the united nations or something like that they do flags for like when like yanni comes to town or like fucking pavarotti it's like for old people like flags that are lining the streets i'm hoping that i sold a decent amount of tickets how can you even tell if you sold the tickets you can't i'm hoping i sold like at least like maybe like 10 per show per person so then like those people will laugh and i won't bomb oh so you're saying like you hope you have a stacked crowd yeah it's easier when you have a crowd that knows you yeah get a little pop when you're walking out when are you leaving uh like wednesday afternoon

oh stay night when are we gonna and how long are you there till saturday or sunday okay so next week we'll be good yeah yeah i'll be back for monday for sure with a bunch of fucking stories a bunch of stories austin i'm excited to go i'm more just like i'm nervous that you're gonna have to hop on stage yeah i'm nervous that i'm gonna have to do stand up are you here are your your tickets are still on sale yeah buy tickets in my bio on Instagram buy tickets for

how big of the venue's gonna be hopefully really small yeah I'm really nervous that it's gonna be like a theater a big ass theater I don't think it is how do you not know

how big the venue is beforehand cause it's not at one venue I remember like New York Comedy Fest when it was just like like Matt and Shane did the like matt and shane did the like matt and shane secret podcast oh yeah you were a part of it yes yes just like random shows all around the city at like different like gotham the cellar the stand stand up new york right like

all those places they were just all doing shows i think it's going to be like that and then i think there'll be like a couple like headliners who are doing like actual theaters got it got it so i'm hoping it's like a jazz club somewhere in a basement or some shit like i'm hoping it's gonna be like me doing just like a like a 10 minute set like a normal night i like the stand that'll be sweet that would be if it's if that's this if that's what it is then then i'm i'm gonna have a blast you're gonna have a blast worried like since i've checked last like the lineups have gotten way bigger there was one night where it was like me and two people on the lineup and i was like yeah so i'm about to am i trying i'm they want me to do like 45 like what's going on what's the most you could do

25 damn just stretch that shit roll a little cornstarch in that bitch that's that's stretched 25 is the stretch yeah i just gotta like i i'm working on new stuff but i'm not gonna i don't want to try anything new at this place what do you mean you're working on new stuff you did stand up twice over the last six months yeah but like i'm writing new jokes oh gotcha gotcha yeah um i've been writing like a lot of new jokes is there a chance you get up and like try any of the jokes anywhere or just where are you trying the jokes i would only try them like here At just like random spots that I don't have to promote

Yeah Because I don't want to have people come out to see me and do like new stuff that bombs Yeah I'm only doing my zingers Your fucking top notch shit Yeah And that shit is fucking crack too I'm only doing my poppers the ones that really snap

Oh yeah the poppers that loosen up your butthole Yeah That type of shit dude it's gonna be sweet go to a little jazz club get some fucking breakfast tacos yeah i'm excited there's a place called rositas al pastor in austin that has the best tortillas i've ever had in my life too i'll check it out will you yeah maybe i'll see mike out there get mike and my other boy mike leaves lives out there oh shit yeah double mics yeah double mike mike you've never met before damn yeah this this mike is he's got a mustache fuck you'll love him that's sick yeah i uh yeah no i'm i am excited it'll be fun i just don't like i'm just the idea of traveling again sucks because you you uh got spooked by the turbulence this morning no i'm just so tired and the idea of going back on a plane is pretty brutal.

Fuck, dude. But yeah, I was going to go... Yeah, I think my first show is not until 9 on Wednesday. So I'll probably go... I'll probably stay for the Yak and then go. You're going to be... Or I'm not going to be here on Tuesday and Wednesday. Actually, are we doing the Yak from Chicago

on Wednesday? Oh, okay. I think you guys are doing the Yak from Chicago on Wednesday? I think you guys are doing the Yak from Chicago Wednesday live and then taping one to release on Thursday? Or is that Tuesday, Wednesday? Probably Tuesday, Wednesday. Oh, wait. So is everyone in the Yak

going to Chicago except for me and Owen? Yeah. Oh, okay. I have nothing wrong with that. I don't do trivia, but I didn't know that you guys were all going. Why don't you do trivia? I don't know. You were on a team. Yeah.

Not my thing. I don't want to do really bad and then be like, everyone's like, oh, he's so fucking stupid. Yeah. Yeah. And I would do really bad. So you just didn't show up and I did really bad. Really? And everyone said I was really stupid.

I did not show up. I didn't have Wi-Fi. It wasn't an option. And this was like 10 months ago. Yeah, it was me and RDT. He's good, though. He's good. That's a fucking power trio.

That's my Mount Rushmore. You own an RDT. I was going to do it, but then I got there. I brought everything to do it. I brought a microphone and stuff, and then I got there and there's no Wi-Fi. Yeah? That was when I was in Wyoming. Shucks. Yeah yeah we're about to go out to chicago though you want me to say like any spots i should go in chicago i just gave you rosita's out past door and what's the fucking jazz club

in austin i'm gonna give you give me a spot in chicago to go to bro recommend something for me you go to chicago every other week i don't know um any like pools you used to go to or what do people under 21 do i would just go to the go to go to the water go to the lake good lakefront okay yeah that sounds nice well it's beautiful there okay lake michigan yeah okay you can walk across the whole you can walk down the whole thing and you see like a skyline of chicago the time. It's awesome. That sounds beautiful. I'll check that out.

And then there's a place called the Elephant Room. I want you to go for some late-night jazz. That sounds very familiar. The Elephant Room? Yeah. E-Room? Maybe that's where you're performing. I got to piss really bad.

I hate to do it. Damn. All right. You want me to do this ad? You can wait if you want me to do it. Yeah, You want me to do this ad? You can wait if you want me to do it Yeah I want you to do it Alright Go piss I'll be right back

Actually fuck that I'll do the ad Just fucking Just hurry up Cause I It is This one's an easy one Cause I fucking

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pair at allbirds.com today. That's A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S.com dot com no promo code they just know that if you rock with us you're gonna rock with all birds you're gonna be fucking flying through life just like how how harry flew to the fucking bathroom to piss the only way he got there so fast because he's wearing his all birds tree dasher twos which are a significant step up from the ones yes sir the ones are classic though ones are fucking a vintage fucking gem bro you fuck with vintage i do fuck yeah bro i don't even buy retail anymore fuck retail bro fuck i'll beat your ass if i catch you buying retail the only retail i buy is undies i don't buy clothes anymore you just steal clothes from the company that we work at yeah and uh and i buy and i wear pants that companies send me

i saw a vintage uh walking advertisement it was just like a plain champion sweater but it was like vintage from the 80s it's like ten $10,000. Yeah, it was so expensive. I couldn't believe how, it wasn't like a rare find. Like if you wore it, you wouldn't have any idea if it was like new or vintage. But since it was a little bit older, it was just like a fucking billion dollars. Dude, we went to, what is it, L-Train Vintage? And they have like shirts, like the t-shirts there are all over $150 for a shirt. It's the best shirts money can fucking buy.'re not even quality shirts metropolis probably oh yeah it must have been yeah it was near washington square park yeah yeah um fucking metropolis that's why you

got to get out to fucking wick bro you got to get out to bushwick that's where the good ass fucking vintage shit is out there oh my there. Oh my God. Great find. Great finds. And everything's more in like. To the register. Great find. Oh wow. I love this piece.

Yeah. Like bitch you're selling it. Yeah. Don't act so stunned. Yeah. Like oh this is cute. And then I always throw a little snarky comment about the price. Yeah.

Wow. $150 for a t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. You know. You for a t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah, you know. You know how it is. It's vintage, though. We peeled this off a homeless person's back. Yeah.

We actually traded them a half-eaten turkey burger so we could have this shirt off them. Washed it once, kept the stains on it, and marked it up because it was a classic.

Couple rips in it. Couple rips in the collar. Dave Portnoy style. I heard he takes a cheese grater to his own shit just to get the look right. He distresses. He self-distresses. He does DIY distressing. Looks sick.

Looks fly as fuck. Dude, did you see his new haul? Oh, yeah, I did. That haul was crazy, bro. I hope to someday be on a fucking- He's throwing fits. Oh, my God. What?

He needs to take us on a vacation dude Yeah He needs to stop fucking us around And get us to fucking Barts dude I would love to go to Barts with Portnoy I can't believe all those like islands Are just named after saints naturally What do you think that they were named after

Before the Catholics got their hands on them St. Barts St. Lucia St. Kittis Nevis St. Fuck it Little St. James Little St. James St. Bart's. St. Lucia. St. Kittis Nevis. St. Little St. James. Little St. James. St. Thomas. St. John. St. Martin. Yes, dude. The saints

just fucking went to town on those. The saints used to party hard, man. People just would go and enslave a people and just make themselves feel better about it because they named after a saint. They would just go to a local land and eat all the natural resources. resources coffee cacao and fucking feel incredible about themselves because they named it after a saint they build like 200 churches and be like no that's cool i've never

been to any of those uh islands we must go we must you you've been to all of them oh yeah that's what you're you're a big like tropical vacation person i was an island boy before the island boys may they rest in peace they died oh yeah along with the spongebob creator no they did they say you die two times when you fall out of relevancy on tiktok and when you actually die and bro they fucking died a lot of times simda yeah sometimes it really is all at once but sometimes in rare cases you die in real life and then your relevancy on tiktok goes up yeah i loved when they're uh when they started doing ads and they were like say like body armor we're dildo boys like i'm just body armor boy body armor boy i'm trying to get hydrated i'm just body armor boy. Yeah. Body armor boy. I'm trying to get hydrated.

I'm a body armor boy. Yeah, that was a... That's how they did all... They were doing cameos, and that's what they all were. I'm going to say, happy birthday, Roan. Yeah, I'm going to sing a happy birthday, Roan. It is a moment in time, for sure. You think that those dudes have metabolism that's, like, fast enough that they could have gotten fat already off of their fame or do you think that they'll have like they'll never

have an overlap of like gluttony periods they'll just like get famous spend all their money get back to being poor and fucking uh stay skinny forever i don't know probably get famous get poor really fast i don't know how people make, like, how would they have made a significant amount of money? How did Tekashi just have that much fucking, that much cash on him? Cash, chains, four houses on his wrist and all that. Because he

had so many huge songs. Yeah? Drugs? He's selling drugs, you think? I don't think he's selling that many drugs, dude. I don't even think he was a drug dealer. He was a legitimate drug dealer when he was at the peak of his fame. Was he?

Yeah. Was he, though? I'm pretty sure. Dude, he was about it. I don't think he was. Yeah, scum gang. Was he selling drugs? I don't know. I think that he was just surrounding

himself with other harder dudes yeah we're literally the three kids being like was takashi six nine hard yeah was takashi as hard as he claims he was he was thorough bro he was thorough he was fucking loyal to the soil, my bro. Sells drugs? Sells drugs? I don't fucking believe that shit, bro. What's up, guys? I'm Lil Sass, and today we're going to be doing Tekashi69 before he was famous.

A deep drive. Was he really bout it, bout it, or was he frauded? TylerKent69 grew up on the shore of Long Island. He moved to a small town in Bushwick where he worked at a borrega making sandwiches. Serving sandwiches and listening to Oy Vey over a loudspeaker in a backpack.

That is literally how his early career people would talk about him. Probably, yeah. There would be pictures of him being like, oh, dude, he used to be my bodega guy. Really?

Yeah, I think he used to work in a bodega. That's why I don't believe that. Spitting bars? I don't think he could have sold that many drugs. That's so many drugs to sell, dude. I don't think that drug dealing is that lucrative that fast. Bro, you just don't know what, you're not from the streets like i am like you he is moving big

weight there was um a book by the dude who wrote freakonomics called or maybe he just linked up with a dude it was called drug dealer for a day and it broke down how much every level makes and it's like uh less than minimum wage if you're like a lowest lowest level drug dealer that's what biggie says there's less than minimum wage. Yeah. Yeah. And Biggie says adding up the time that you'll spend in prison. If you get caught and the amount of money you make and the time that you're putting into the work.

He said it's like less than minimum wage. Yeah. It's tough. But at least you got street cred. When did Biggie say that? In. What's his movie? Not yet.

Richard Dodd trying this 50 cent. I think it's just called Big Eye Notorious B.I.G. Notorious? Oh, you're talking about the movie about his life?

Yeah. Dude, he died. That's what he always says. It's a good answer. Biggie's always saying that, man. I'm gonna need more Pepsi And more weed Yeah

That actor said He got shot in his ass While he was Like on the way To a radio interview Or something like that And he just like Went and still did

The interview With the bullet in his butt Why'd they shoot him in the ass? Why'd they shoot him in the A's? In the A's But Why would they shoot him in the A's? In the A's. Why would they shoot him in the A's? I don't know. It was probably the baby.

Probably not shooting to kill. It was a legal shot. And then one time I was in college. I was biking to give a finals presentation or some shit like that. And I was going down a big hill at Penn State. And a car swerved out in front of me. And I'd bail out on my bike and I like like ripped up my entire left side of my body and I was bleeding all over the place but I like was on my way to this this uh like finals presentation in some like dumbass class like an art class or something like that and in the back of my head I

was like dude the guy from fucking Biggie got shot in the ass and he still did the radio interview I can go get this finals presentation and I like stumbled in like bloody and mangled sounds like whiplash yeah dude it was just like whiplash and that huge accident and just shows up just shows up like bloody where are my sticks

playing like a fucking zombie sticks where are they I fucking love that flick. What's the kid's name in that movie? Tyler Cameron, I think. I think that's based on the life of Tyler Cameron. That movie's so good. You know, that movie's budget was only $3 million.

What? Yeah. Holy fuck. So they're broke. So that dude didn't make shit off it. Miles that dude didn't make shit off it. Miles Teller didn't make shit off it. He's not a true movie star. No, they probably made a shit ton of money in it.

On the back end, Andrew and Terrence Fletcher. Why were you thinking of Andrew so hard? Or why did you want to know his name? Is there a point where he says Andrew in the movie or you just wanted to remember what his character was called? Andrew. J.K where he says andrew in the movie or you just wanted to remember what his character is called whatever what his name was andrew jk simmons is so good in that movie yeah he is so when he yells at him outside of the fucking like when he pulls him

outside he's like hey man he's like andrew why don't you uh take five and he goes outside he's like you're doing great man so you're doing you're doing a really good job and then he's just and he just starts fucking screaming at him when he goes back in it's fucking sick it's an intense ass it's the most intense like teacher to like uh student in in any movie that i've ever seen yeah to the point where i watched coda this year and it's like part of the movie is like this woman is like trying to learn to sing and her like teacher is like coaching her and it's just like such like a fluffy ass like trying to learn to sing and her like teachers like coaching her and it's just like such like a fluffy ass like disney teacher where i wanted it to be like a hard

ass teacher they even make it seem like a tough teacher but no one will ever be as tough of a teacher as he is in that movie now he's just a fucking badass teacher not like in in uh in uh drumline like if like nick cannon's like coach because he was kind of a badass coach in drumline but like he if he was like not my tempo style fucking coaching that shit's so badass that's how it was he was like he was like oh let's run that back one more time just not quite my tempo and then he does it again and then all of a sudden he just throws the symbol across the room at his head or not the symbol the fucking chair and now I feel like it's like, or I don't know. Do you think that people can really coach hard like that?

No. Like, I feel like football coaches, like, there was that clip of that woman, like, bitching out Marshawn Lynch being like, you cursed at my son or something like that. Like, you can't, you just can't beat the shit out of kids anymore. It's bullshit, dude. You can't. Back in the day, you used to be able to beat the fuck out of somebody and they couldn't say anything.

Yeah. And that's how, that's why fucking Michael Jordanordan was made that's how all the greats were made that's how michael jackson could sing so well because his parents were constantly abusing him tiger that's how tiger was so good his dad was a lunatic yes sex craze lunatic yeah and that's what begets great athletes who are also abusive in their own right dude Dude, fuck, what was I just gonna say? Kobe's dad? Kobe's dad. I forget what I was gonna say.

That's why you're one of the goats. My pops was a little hard on me as a kid. Yeah, I saw what you put him down for like the benefactor of our apartment. I think you're fine. Papa didn't, Papa didn't.

We used to have to take a car to the beach. Papa. We were going through it. Papa never thought I could make it to Barstool. Look at me now. Look at me now, Dad. It was either working at Barstool or back in the mines. My dad used to get super mad at me about sports.

Why? Because he wanted me to be a professional athlete. I was the least athletic person alive tiger woods his parents did give a false hope to like uh other parents that you can just like coach the fuck out of your kid and just like make them make them famous like king richard like fucking will smith or whatever like that you could just be like tough enough on them that like they'll just eventually be famous yeah and it just turned into a bunch of like abusive relationships where like that's why

kids are turning turning out gay they're just like i hate golf so much that i'm actually gonna suck dick yeah to get back at my dad yeah they don't even they like sucking dick even less than golf but it's just like i'm seeing seeing this through. Fuck my parents. He's going to hate this. Oh, dude. I remember being like hockey. I played hockey for so long. I remember my dad would take me to this thing on Sundays called Leo's.

And it was in the middle of fucking nowhere. And you literally would just skate in circles for hours while this old ass dude on skates would scream at you. Terrible. Was he like a Scandinavian dudeates would scream at you. Terrible. Was he like a Scandinavian dude? He would hook you with the stick. A guy named like Nils or something like that? No, his name was Leo. Leo?

Yeah. That makes sense. He would hook you with the stick and pull you in and like grab your mask. And he'd be like, skate faster. And I'm like fucking six years old. And your dad never had your back? He never was... My parents would make me go to that as a punishment.

Really? Like if I got like a bad grade in class, they'd make me go there. Like, we're not going to discipline you, but we know someone who will. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it was so bad. Really? Yeah. It was brutal.

And that used to be like the norm. Like they used to be able to like fucking like they would like spit in your face. Yeah. Be like, no, no, that's good. He's a good coach. Yeah. He's good. Yeah. He's great at what he does he gets results he called your mom like a whore and like beat the fuck out of you like hit you in the back of your fucking calves with a hockey stick dude literally it was like a i was so crazy just verbally abuse you in front of everybody embarrass you like push you to your ass the funniest shit was i remember just like getting in the car after like a really bad game and just sitting in silence for

like 45 minutes on the drive home and then randomly my dad would just turn the radio down and he'd be like so how do you think that went i don't know dad i don't know or i remember I would try and break the silence. I'd be like, so what are we having for dinner? And my dad wouldn't reply. A weird sandwich. He also used to just like, I remember he always keeps the heat in his car on super high. And I remember the heat would be so high and I would be actively dripping sweat. I know that shit stank too.

But I didn't want to talk. No one smells worse than hockey players. Yeah. I hadn't been given permission to speak yet since my brutal performance on the ice. So I would just sit there just soaked in sweat. That's gross. That's disgusting. Hey, Dad.

You turn the AC on. What flavor meatloaf are we having tonight? Sounds good, Dad. So you think that went well? Punk. Why don't you get out and skate home, all right? That was good So you think that went well? Punk Why don't you get out and skate home Alright Why don't you walk home

Put your skates back on and fucking wobble home Just wobbling on the side I remember there would be times where I would get there And I'd be like forgetting something big Like my helmet or some shit wouldn't be in my bag Got everything Harry? Yeah No you don't and he just

holds it up in front of you also like the like hot like like youth hockey for some reason the games are all at like sit like six in the morning or like five in the morning on the weekend so you'd have to wake up at like 3 a.m and drive like two hours to the rink so you're conditioned for what you're doing right now no i don't want to hear you complaining about a 6 a.m flight then well it's 6 a.m flight but it was also an hour and 10 minutes away from the airport and you didn't drink when you were doing hockey dude the the one the thing that like stemmed the tide of abusive coaching was the movie air bud remember an air bud when he's just like pelting the kid with basketballs and then they're finally like hey that's not okay like that was the first time that they were like wait we shouldn't beat the fuck out of the kids this shit doesn't make

sense at all they were lighting him up and then the dog came in and like fucking pulled back on him he barked at the coach yeah he lashed it and just fixed everything but until then you could like do whatever you want until kids and then then Air Bud. Air Bud was a massive. Air Bud stopped child abuse. In a way. It really did. It did. Because it was fine until then.

When did that come out? 98? Air Bud? When did Air Bud come out? Is that old? 04? Damn, I didn't know it was that old. It's a classic, though.

And then the dog has to pick between The clown that kidnapped it And the actual kids Why would they make the dog decide First off that's abusive to the dog And second of all obviously the parents Have the rights to the dog Why are they even like

Because the dog's a star But they made the dog be like No I actually don't want to have Stockholm Syndrome And side with my captors It's not up made the dog be like uh no i actually don't want to have stockholm syndrome inside with my captors like it's not up to the dog it's a dog the person that steals it doesn't get to fucking keep the dog what kind of world was that in there bud that was the one fucking plot hole then they fixed it all at airbug golden receiver all right bro i gotta wrap up let's get the fuck out of here i think i did well but i crashed just then yeah no thoughts going through the head anymore after it because you i saw your mind going back to the abuse that you sustained as a hockey player my boy's gonna need a little time

to decompress no there's just so many funny stories that you stopped the show i stopped i got so many funny stories let's stop recording so many funny thoughts. That you stopped the show. I stopped the show. I got so many funny stories. Let's stop recording. I had so many funny thoughts that I said, let's scratch this game for next week. Funny ass shit's popping to mind. I'm never going to tell anybody it. All right, bros. Good show.

All 15 of you guys, I'll see you out in Austin. Subscribe to the show, the other 15 of you. And the final 15, buy the sweatshirt. 15, 15. Yeah, make sure you give us a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. Subscribe. Subscribe. Subscribe. Alright, we'll see you guys

next week. Peace.