Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 6 - Full Suey

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

-- Sas & Rone discuss their weekends, check in on Joe Biden, address their beef w/ the BFFs pod & are joined by the Spittin' Chiclets guys to break down puck lingoYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. What's that low energy shit? Come on, bro. Now you got me all fussed up.

Now I'm angry. I'm angry in the head right now. Just launch us in then. Use the anger, bro. Use it. I'm so sick of this fucking pod. It's ruining my fucking life, dude. It's just running your life.

All right, ready? We'll start from top. Okay. Three, two, one. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today is Monday, June 28th. It is four o'clock.

This episode right now, if you're listening to it, it will be Tuesday, June 29th. We're wrapping up June already. Man, summer is here. The birds are chirping. Yes. Roan, how are you doing today? Time is flying by, but I'm trying to enjoy it. It's a little bit hot outside.

Yeah, it is. It is a little bit hot. From what I've been noticing. It's so hot that I walked down to the Statue of Liberty today and she was naked. Oh, shut up. Just jugs hanging out for all of new jersey to see the whole city to see unbelievable and i said that's my city that's why new york's the best city on the planet just her nipples were poking through her tunic oh yeah see but i mean nipples

as an accessory this summer for all statues in the city are no matter where you're at if you're a statue you're gonna be wanting to have your nips out with a nice cold brew. They should make a, they should make like, what color is a statue? Bronze? Yeah, I think it's bronze, but rust turns it a little bluish.

They should make like a bronze sticker of a nipple that you can just throw on any statue. Yes, dude. Thank you. As a feminist type of thing. Yeah, exactly. We support women.

Free the nipple. Or like, yeah, put nipples where they don't belong. Yeah. So it destigmatizes us to nipples. That would actually be so funny. Just putting nipples all over the house. I want to run that to Shark Tank. A nipple sticker?

Yeah. That shit is genius. Or like a dick sticker. But the dick sticker would have to be 3D, unfortunately. Imagine the fucking guy who gets to clean off the statues. The guy who has to polish the rust off the statues. Imagine how horny he gets when he's polishing the titties. When he's like polishing the... Fully torqued.

Yeah, fully torqued and just polishing the fucking rust off to a nice beautiful bronze. It is a very horny job. Oh my god, polishing a statue? Just rubbing down those statues. Most statues are of men and that's honestly why we have to tear them down so we can get some more statues of women.

Yeah. So the statue cleaners stop getting confused when they're rubbing down Robert E. Lee's dick. I think it should honestly be sort of like if you're a guy, you rub down the guy statues, and if you're a girl, you rub down the girl statues. Or gay guys can rub down the guy statues. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And lesbian women can rub down the girl statues. Yes. But if you're rubbing down a statue you're not attracted to,

that shit should be illegal. You think? Because they're putting you in a bad spot. Because like, what if you turn, what if you get horny off of it and you didn't intend to? And then you're questioning your sexuality forever.

And that's really what the problem with these fucking Confederate statues are. Are there actually people who clean statues? Definitely. And there's a guy who paints the Golden Gate Bridge left to right every day. No. Or there's a guy who every day it's his job to paint the Golden Gate Bridge. He doesn't finish it in one job, but it's just one guy.

Bro, you've never been to San Fran. I haven't been to San Fran. Oh, my God. I've never been to California. You love it, bro. I know. I've got to get out there. You have to fly out.

Which city would you rather go to? San Fran, LA, or underrated sleeper, San Diego? I don't want to go to LA. Aren't San Fran and San Diego a lot more have better views? It depends on where you are, I think. But I think that LA's or San Diego's vibe is everybody's rollerblading and eating ceviche. People are just crushing. What is ceviche?

What, bro? I've never been out there. Bro, bro. Fucking ceviche is like live or not live raw fish that's made into like a salsa. And it's like the fish is cooked in the acidicness of the salsa. So or you'll have maybe some seafood in there. Very nice. You a seafood man?

I actually am a very big seafood guy. A couple weeks ago, I was experimenting with a shrimp and beef jerky only diet. That's so gross. It's very healthy, though. Because it's all lean protein? It's all lean protein. Dude, like a pound of shrimp is like 400 calories and like 70 grams of protein. it'll take you a whole day to eat it same with strawberries i'm pretty sure no strawberries have no protein but they don't have a lot of calories though they have a lot of sugar

but uh so you're just eating beef jerky and shrimp but uh i feel like you're neglecting some food groups by doing that you don't need to joe rogan told me it was okay to do that just venison venison jerky and it was i to do that. Just venison jerky. And it was all frozen shrimp. Because there's no nutrients. I would make frozen shrimp shakes. I would throw them in like ice into the blender with some milk. Because heating up the shrimp

from when it's frozen is what unlocks the nutrients. Yeah, it makes it more calories. That's what gets you strong. I've actually heard that about... Warm shrimp is more calories than cold shrimp. I've heard that about baked potatoes. That if you microwave microwave a baked potato it turns it into a superfood and people tell you that with the fucking straight face yeah they're dead serious about that was like a big

thing that was like uh eating a banana upside down is less calories that was a big that was that actually when i was a kid yeah you just like dangle underneath it like the Kiss in Spider-Man. You just have to, like, hang like a bat and eat a banana. I don't even really know how you figure out what's the right side up of a banana. A lot of them are pretty symmetrical. Yeah, that is. I mean, I don't know how you figure it out. It depends on how you look at it.

I've also heard that celery burns more calories to chew than there are in celery. Oh, that makes sense. Because celery's nothing. Celery's bad, though. I'm not about to waste it. You mean bad tasting? It's not brutal. I like it with some wings. Yeah? But that's the only time I would ever eat

celery. Answer me this, bro, and don't lie. Blue cheese or ranch? Come on, come on. So, depends. For hot wings, I like blue cheese. Oh, no! Yeah. What? Throw this guy in fucking jail.

You like something different than me? That's not a big thing. No, I think it is. I fucking love blue cheese. Yeah, I love blue cheese. Especially at wings. I'll have ranch with regular chicken, like chicken breast. But foreign folk, they don't know nothing about ranch.

No, they don't. And it's probably a good thing because ranch is like, it's gross. How? It's like yogurt. It's like yogi. And how is yogi gross? I fucking love a yogurt, bro. I feel like yogurt's a very commonly disliked food, even though I love yogurt.

I like a Greek yogurt. Greek yogurt in the morning? Yogurt is a big gains thing. Get the gains in. Get the protein. Lean protein. What do you think about cottage cheese? Hell no, bro.

Yeah, cottage cheese is fucking gross. Miss me with some fucking cottage cheese. They definitely grow that on humans. Cottage cheese is disgusting. It's fucking gross, bro. It's like, what do you think about foot fungus? Would you ever eat foot fungus? No, but that's where I imagine cottage cheese comes from. Exactly. And what's up, what do you think about foot fungus? Would you ever eat foot fungus? No, but that's where I imagine cottage cheese comes from.

Exactly. And what's up, boys? Some visitors walking through the office right now. Yeah, crowded office today. Salute, guys. Good to see you guys. Take a fucking picture. Seriously, it'll last longer.

Jesus. Or buy an ad on the pod. Yeah. A lot of space on the pod for you guys to buy in. Brutal. You know that mushrooms, like magic mushrooms, are grown on shit, right? Or all mushrooms are grown on poop. I thought they were grown in trees, like on the inside of trees.

But I think on animal shit in trees. Mushrooms come from shit. Shit and dark climates. Yeah, well, it's actually interesting because mushrooms in everything, like mushrooms, tobacco, any drug that grows from the ground is usually the reason that it has causes a chemical reaction in your brain is because it's supposed to be used as a defense mechanism

against animals and stuff trying to eat it. Yeah, it's supposed to kill them. Yeah. It mildly kills them. So you're basically just poisoning yourself. In a sweet way, though. In a dope-ass way. In a fucking dope-ass way.

Yeah. But that has me wondering if... Not in a bad way, in a cool way. In a dope fucking way. In a sweet way though in a dope ass way in a fucking dope ass way yeah but that has me wondering if not in a bad way in a cool way dope fucking way in a sweet way and that's like every time that i trip on mushrooms which is like every weekend i'm like time to poison myself again i mean and then i gave everyone that rundown i'm like well you know technically the reason that mushrooms are actually bad for or the reason that mushrooms are actually but you're saying it's every weekend, but I literally saw you fucking bending down at your desk eating a fucking chocolate mushroom.

Oh, yeah. It's more of an everyday type thing. Well, it's a micro-dose. Yeah, I'm constantly micro-dosing. Just at all times. But the fact that you're just doing it at work is savage. It's sick, yeah.

It is super savage. Joe Rogan says do mushrooms every single day for a year and he said you'll guarantee you'll see big life changes for better or for worse. That's a direct quote too. I just literally, that's all I do is I fucking eat mushroom chocolate and shower cold. Oh yeah. That's all you need to do.

That's a billionaire mindset. I fucking shower cold and I started getting oblique muscles. I started getting like the fucking trim ass muscles that Usher has. The fucking like sweet ass muscles that usher has the fucking like no i know sweet ass lower lower ab my lower ab started popping out as soon as i started showering cold she i was speeds with the metabolism just gets the mind sharp it changed it changed everything it was like fucking it was fucking crazy yeah it was fucking insane dude this uh how was your weekend this past weekend i was about to tell you, I went to another

bachelor party. And another strip club? Bro, you've been on the strip clubs lately. Stop, bro. I did not go to a strip club this time. I did not go to a strip club. Can't get this guy out of the clubs. Come on, brother. You can find me in the club.

Titties in my face. How was it? Didn't touch a strip club the entire time, but I got into a treasure situation. Oh, all right. Real life treasure situation. Went to the bar early on in the bachelor party, and we were talking to this guy

who was trying to unload this land. It was in central Pennsylvania. He said he had 15 acres, and he said he's looking to get $1,000 an acre. Oh, wow. First off, you let me know. That's not that bad, right? That's not that bad. 15K had 15 acres, and he said he's looking to get $1,000 an acre. Oh, wow. First off, you let me know. That's not that bad, right? That's not that bad.

15K for 15 acres? In central Pennsylvania? Oh, wait, that's where you were? Yeah, dude. I was in the Poconos, Pocono Mountains. Oh, okay. Because I was like, that looked pretty majestic. Did you not know that the Poconos, Poconos do sound tropical.

They sound like they'd be in the Caribbean or something. Like the Galapagos. Yeah. Like the Poconos. But it wasn't. I've actually never heard of the Poconos until Poconos do sound tropical. Poconos sound like they'd be in the Caribbean or something. Like the Galapagos. Yeah. Like the Poconos. But it wasn't. I have actually never heard of the Poconos until now. Really? First time? Bro, wait till batch season comes up, bro.

You'll be fucking- Batch season? Batch season. Oh, yeah. Come on, bro. That'll be like second home for me. You're going to be fucking and sucking. No doubt in my mind.

I went to this bar. This guy's trying to sell this fucking land, 15K an acre. We said, meet us back here on Sunday. We'll talk it over with the fellas because we had like 10 guys. We were saying like maybe we could just divvy it up and fucking split it up. 1,500 bucks a person, 10 guys, fucking we all have an acre and a half, something like that. We went to a NASCAR race.

And at the NASCAR race, we sat next to some firefighters from Staten Island. We let them use our cooler because warm beers start fights. Everybody knows that. They're throwing their beers in our cooler. The race ends. They get out of there, and in the cooler, there's two coins left behind, and one of them was from 1898, a big silver dollar coin. We looked up the value of the coin. It was $13,000. Jesus. a big like silver dollar coin we looked up the value of the coin it was thirteen thousand dollars

jesus they left behind a real thirteen thousand dollar coin by accident in our shit and it must have been some fire like if these firefighters have it i feel like they should like or if they they find out about this please reach out because we'll get the coin back but at the same time that's almost exactly how much the land costs oh wow yeah so basically we just lucked into some fucking free land so are you buying the land i think we're we're gonna like we we have to go and like see the land first but like we lucked into this like susan b anthony land yes do you know where it is uh just somewhere in central pennsylvania like by the pocono's like so what is it like is it like the woods, or is it like a field?

There's like one dirt road that gets to this land. It's not field. I don't think it's easily developable, but it's been in this guy's family for like three generations, and he's just like a drunk barfly. He's hoping to get $1,000 an acre.

My one boy's trying to give him $20,000. I'm like, why are you just giving this guy an extra $5,000? I mean, $15,000. Is it like bombs bombs placed on it like there's landmines everywhere or some shit no he just has had like 15k for 15 acres is like a very very low amount of money it might be all cliff it might just be cliffs that we're buying but even so you guys should like throw a walmart there a walmart on a cliff it's like that i should build a mall on the 15k it's like the most

exclusive mall location in the world have you seen that taco bell that's like on a bluff it might be in san diego honestly there's like a famous taco bell that they're always like throwing on instagram and stuff like that and it's no it has this beautiful view it's a fucking incredible view build something like that something like that a, Walmart. Maybe we should move the podcast studio up there. To Central PA? Yeah. I mean, we are like seven episodes in. What are you thinking about the future of the show?

Do you think that you'd be down to take it on the road? Would you move for the show? Oh, of course. Yeah? To Central Pennsylvania? What cities are fly lists for you? Which ones would be sweet for you to move to? And which ones are you like no I'm not moving

there I haven't really been that many places inside the United States well just outside just only places outside the United States I've been to Tampa North Carolina that's most places

that's most of the places that exist Colorado and then New England and I think that's basically everywhere I've been in the United States that's six states Most places. That's most of the places that exist. Colorado. And then New England. And I think that's basically everywhere I've been in the United States. That's six states. Out of 50. Yeah, bro. You need to fucking start broadening your horizons.

I know. I want to go on like a road trip type thing. But look at this fucking Taco Bell. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Is that like the cantina? Those are actually dope as fuck. Yeah?

Yeah. Have you ever been to one yeah there was one in chicago near my uh dorm i mean imagine one of those fucking sweet ass it's got wooden walls it's a it's on a bluff it's got a vista a fucking vista view bro that shit would be incredible that is like uh that's like that that's like uh capitalism though what do you mean that's what they're trying to do these days. They're trying to turn all the modern... They're trying to turn all these what look like old rugged places into like a... I don't know. Have you seen the picture of the old bookstore and then it's like an Amazon bookstore?

Yeah, that is fucking creepy. Yeah, it's weird. It's called gentrification, bro. There's a McMansion in my town. Oh, really? It's like an old money mansion turned into a McDonald's. Yeah. Wait, a McMansion in my town. Oh, really? It's like an old money mansion turned into a McDonald's. Yeah. Wait, a McMansion?

I thought McMansions were in Dallas when you can buy an actual mansion for like $300,000 because real estate's so cheap down there. That's like Florida too, right? I don't know if Florida's a city. I'd say it's fucking Texas. It probably depends on where in Florida. Brother, we need to get you on the fucking road to see this great land of ours. Imagine how broad your horizons would open up.

We should do some live. We should do a tour. We should do a live tour. But what would the live tour consist of? I know what live podcasts are. Would it just be us yakking like this? Probably, yeah. Would you feel obligated to go out there like Steve Ballmer?

obligated to uh like go out there like like uh steve ballmer like at a like when like a tech bro goes out onto stage and like whoops up the crowd i feel like you would need to do something like that like who's the guy from apple now tim tim cook yeah just going out there to like dance into like philadelphia freedom or some shit like that get my groove on up on definitely down to do that. Get my groove on up on stage. You could probably freestyle a little bit. That's fucking fire. That's the McDonald's. Yeah, that's crazy. That's real sweet.

But I just didn't know that they could do that. What is the upstairs? Is it seating or is it offices? Seating. There's just like really nice seating upstairs. I went to like childhood birthday parties there growing up. Is that poor or is it rich? Poor.

Yeah, yeah, I guess so. But it isn't a mansion. It's a good loophole for poor folks. Dude, but I was thinking about that this past weekend. Getting on the live show circuit would be fucking sick. How do we unlock the live show? What is it? Do we need more format to it?

Do we need people asking questions? We need to build in a period where we can suck for a little bit um i saw a tiny meat gang live when i was a senior in high school shut up yeah in maine and theirs was more of miller and co yeah theirs was more of like a uh like a stand-up show that's what i mean like like they they definitely they wrote jokes and stuff and then they like did like a live like you know how they like react to shit all the time live react they did a live react to this like a frat to these like frat dudes like promo video or something was it as sweet as going to a stand-up comedy show yeah it was really fucking funny really yeah even though

they wrote it i'm just scared i'm just scared i'm scared about the you know it's not like they wrote everything they were gonna say but it's like they probably just have like bullet they probably just have like certain talking points i think i saw like a ksc radio live or something like they're going they're going they're doing a live show on the 15th that's what the fuck i mean bro oh i thought you meant they had one in the past no but they're doing it people are doing it yeah yeah i mean we probably would need to wait a little bit until we have more than five episodes i don't know i think that we just dive into it i think that we just fucking accelerate this process i don't really understand like i like so the tiny king

show that was my first time i ever saw a live show but like i don't really understand how like people do like three-man stand-up shows like shit like that like what are you guys just like bouncing off of each other the whole time? I think people are just funny enough to make shit up as they go. It's impressive. You think that they just go up there and do improv? I think that they're just, like, funny dudes. I think that guys just fucking kick around fucking... kick around jokes.

Like, they'll just hop on the stage at the Comedy Cellar and, like... No way. They'll have... What do you mean, no way? They definitely have jokes. Three... If three people go up, that would be like a clusterfuck. But if it's just like some random shit, like them just roasting back and forth, I feel like that's like what they – you should be able to thrive in a circumstance like that if you're a comedian.

I guess. Imagine them just shitting the bed like Dave Chappelle. Just be like, I don't have anything prepared. Well, there's a difference between Dave ship hell and some three random dudes who are going to the comedy cellar i don't think that they let random dudes up at the comedy cellar yeah i guess that's probably true i think they only let at least that's what ari told us yeah when ari pat what ari was such a goat such a good guy i don't know i haven't seen ari we just started telling people that ari works for barstool now he's been on multiple multiple shows

over like multiple years he might as well he does everything that for Barstool now. He's been on multiple shows over multiple years. He might as well. He does everything that some Barstool employees do, but he just doesn't collect a check. There's Barstool employees that you don't see for years at a time. Do people get paid to be guests on podcasts? I don't think so. I don't think we do pay for play, but I think some people ask for it. It depends on who it is.

Like the kids that go on the BFFs podcast, do they all get paid? No fucking way. Yeah, it's probably because it's probably more helpful. I don't know any of them. Like I knew the first like 10 people that were on the BFFs podcast and now they're like, like just names I've never even heard of before.

But you click on a minute. They have 15 million followers. Yeah, like supposedly Vinnie Hacker is like the biggest guest. No, no, that's exactly who I was thinking of. And I've never heard of him. Well, that's because I was on that one probably. That's probably why we both knew it. No, no, that's exactly who I was thinking of. I've never heard of him. That's probably why we both knew it.

Oh, they talked about it on there? Yeah, they brought me on. Oh, you actually went on BFFs this past week? Yeah, so I'm like getting in the shower. It's like 12, which was late, my bad. I don't really have an excuse for it. I should have been in the office, but it was 12, and Owen's about to leave, and I'm like, I'm going to shower real quick, and I turn the shower on, and all of a have an excuse for it. I should have been in the office. But it was 12 and Owen's like about to leave.

And I'm like, I'm going to shower real quick. And I turn the shower on and all of a sudden Gaz calls me, which Gaz is my boss, for those who don't know. Which is bullshit. He shouldn't be your boss. And Gaz calls me. You should be free to do whatever you want. He calls me and he's like, yo, where are you? We need you on BFFs right now. And I'm like, oh, I'm at my apartment. He's like, when's where are you? We need you on BFFs right now.

And I'm like, oh, I'm at my apartment. He's like, when's the fastest you can be here? And I'm like, 10 minutes. So then I just put my clothes back on, turn the shower off, and we go straight here. And then I come in, and they talk to me for maybe 30 seconds. Dave had nothing. He's like, this kid smells

bad. What's your problem with Gruen? And I was like, yeah, I don't really know. He seems like a pretty cool guy to me. You called him a loser on your podcast like eight times. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't really know him that well back then. You pussied out? Yeah. And then he's like, alright, that's all we got.

And then I just walked around for the rest of the day just sticky. No shower, hair's greasy. Just matted to the back of your neck. That is the grossest place you can be sweaty. I know. Is that a mullet or is that just how your hair is sticking to your body? You cut your hair like Theo Vaughn or are you dirty?

Yeah, so that was basically that. Did you listen to the podcast? What did they say about what was a preamble before they had you in there? Yeah, it wasn't really much. Really? Nothing. No good promo from Dave and Co. Kind of fucked up

for them not to promo us. Especially after he came on the third episode and didn't open his mouth. Didn't even fucking talk. That's weird. Dude was shy. I just think he shook around us. I just think he doesn't know how to pick and roll with us. He doesn't know how to run a three-man weave with us.

He's fine with Big Cat or Rico Bosco or whatever. He's intimidated by us. He just doesn't know how to pick and roll with us. He doesn't know how to run a three-man weave with us. He's fine with Big Cat or whatever, like Rico Bosco or whatever. No, he's intimidated by us. He just doesn't know how to fucking run. He doesn't know how to run fast. You know what I mean? Not at all. He can run at his pace. Dude doesn't have a fucking clue.

He doesn't. He's lost. Well, I just think when he doesn't know, he just gets in his shell. He's just very... I think Dave Portnoy, one thing about him, he lives in his own head all the time. He's a shy guy. You gotta loosen him up.

He's an overthinker. And like, he'll just get in his own mind and just be like, ah, I think at a couple points within the podcast, you can go back and listen.

You can like hear a little nose sniffle out of him. Yeah, but that's probably because he was on Adderall. It was probably just a little bit of Adderall, which I don't know if he was

son of a boy dad pod. No, son of a BFF. Which I don't know if he was... Son of a boy dad pod? No. Son of a boy dad pod. Who was that? Was that Richie? That was Josh Richards. That was JR. That was John Ray. Richie Rich. Yeah, like what are we?

Son of a boy dad pod? No. Son of a boy dad pod. Did they all said it? What kind of parrot shit are they running over there? Every reaction on their show is just them all saying the same phrase as the person beforehand. Son of a boy. Son of a boy. Son of a boy. Mine, mine, mine, mine.

BFF, a.k.a. the parrot pod. Fucking Pete and Repeat over there. Jesus Christ.K.A. the parrot pod Fucking Pete and repeat over there Jesus Christ Brutal Brutal That's what I mean dude Whenever they start Getting out of their element

And like seeing how fast The hungry dogs run Oh yeah They just start like They can't run with the bulls They just repeat Repeat They can't run

They can't run with the gohards Welcome to Pamplona Portnoy Richie Welcome to Pamplona This is what the young goharts are getting at these days. Chicken F? Yeah, obviously, Will Satt isn't the king of fucking New York.

That one was fucked up. That was super fucked up. That's fucked up. That's actually fucked up. Yeah. I tweeted that one out because I was... When was that? Was that from like months ago?

Because Biz's fit is just crazy right now. Yeah, I actually came out of the bathroom with a tucky on. I tucked in just like Biz has right now. The tuck is such a hard look. Tucking your shirt into your shorts, it goes so fucking dumb. You got to be built like an athlete to be pulling that off. You need an ass for it. Yeah.

I don't have an ass at all. My ass goes inverted. I think we talked about that before. We're getting you a little ass watch. We're seeing if you can grow an ass over the summertime. Do I have an ass at all my ass goes inverted I think we talked about that before we're getting new yeah little ass watch we're seeing if you can grow an ass over the summer time go get an ass right now go out there

actually don't go out there because we're in the middle of recording probably not the best idea go out there and fuck with him Witt on the other hand looks like an absolute pigeon this fucking pigeon oh my god

we should just talk like them for the rest of the podcast we gotta it's beauty and the pigeon busy just walked busy just scrolled through here guys an absolute fucking beaut fucking love those guys i heard they're doing a couple of streams down here this week streamers boys are rolling through a couple of streamers. Love it. Fucking love it. What is going on here? Some streamers. What's up, boys? Whit is just a fucking beaut.

He's a beauty. Those guys are fucking beauties, eh? We need to make a poster of the two of them, like the beauty and the beast. And it's the beauty and the pigeon. Please, can we make that poster? Please, an enterprising Photoshopper, make that so I can just giggle to myself. So I can just go underneath my covers and fucking giggle. We'll get someone on that.

I'll talk to Erica. Yeah, see if Erica can help us out. We'll have to pay someone top dollar for that poster. But when did Chicken Fry say you weren't the king of New York? Oh, yeah, I know. Seriously, when was that? Was that a recent clip or was that an old, old clip? That was last week.

That was before. That was days ago. Because Dave was like- What type of pussy shit is she on? Dave was like, he was like, so he's like, people are calling Los Angeles the king of New York. So I don't get it. Everyone calls him the king of New York. And she's like, well, obviously he's not actually the king of New York.

There's not literally a king of New York. And Dave was like, oh, I knew that. I knew he wasn't. Dave overcompensating, trying to act like he knew that you weren't actually the king of New York. I know. Because when he first heard it, he actually thought. Yeah, he's like, everyone calls him the king of New York. I don't know.

He must be actually. They must have rearranged our local politics. I hire a little sass. I hire a little sass. And all of a sudden, people are calling him the fucking king of New York. I don't know. Well, obviously, he's not the king of New York. He voted him in while he was in Miami.

They what? They voted you in. Oh, yeah. They had leaves for a fucking month. It was going to be you or Andrew Yang. We saw what kind of bullshit he's on. Universal basic income. Riding city bikes around and shit.

I don't think so, pussy. Trying to like spin a basketball on his finger. Did you see when he did a video from a bodega and it was just a Whole Foods? Yeah. Really? He did like a bodega series. That's hilarious. I've just seen all the videos of him like playing basketball with people.

That's like when anyone is trying to make themselves go from like not like to like, they're like instant reactions to like go play basketball on the street with random people. And it's like it makes me hate you more when you suck at basketball. They're like, whoa, who knew that these two cops, not racist by the way, are playing pickup basketball in the street. Who would have thought? And we think that they should be – we think they're bad people. They like hand a juice to a kid after like losing by 15 fucking shots. Who knew this cop had hoop game?

And people say all cops are bastards. Everything you thought about cops, throw it out the window. This dude just got crossed over onto his nightstand. This dude just got nutmegged into his own mace. Those are like, that's like everything though. And like andrew yang rides like a city bike around and it's like that's not like that doesn't do anything like everyone rides city bikes but just like look i'm just like you guys i ride a city bike or like a politician like playing basketball and they're always in like a white button-up shirt with the sleeves oh yeah it's like why don't you just put on basketball clothes if you want to like pretend that you're just like

somebody else but like that he's like oh i just after work i just play basketball just like you in my like full suit he also when he went to the bodega he like he's like i'm at the borrega i'm trying to make it like an ethnic sound every time I come to New York, I love to go to the local borreca. Calling it the bodega is the best, too. Get some bananas. Is he from New York? I don't know. He might be like appropriated in New York culture like Hillary Clinton did back in the day-day.

She ran for governor of New York. She's like eating like a Popeye's biscuit. She's like, no Bev either. She ran for governor of New York. She's like eating like a Popeye's biscuit. And she's like, no Bev either. She's like, Bill, look at me. No Bev on this Popeye's biscuit.

She's got Timberlands on. It's just that New York fitted a Yankees fit. Hey, Bill, do you think we could stop by the bodega later? I love the bodega. Oh, my God. Do you think that she fucks around as much as he fucks around? I imagine that they just hate each other. Obviously.

Like they must completely hate each other. But he's obviously driven by like his incessant need to like fuck. And like I was talking about that with someone this weekend. Imagine the fucking that he did that we don't know about. Oh yeah. That we have no know about. Oh, yeah. That we have no idea about. We know like the 15 women or whatever. Oh, was it?

I thought it was just that one lady. No, it's like there's like a list of women who have had like who have had they fucked him or whatever. Yeah. Or had some kind of sexual contact with him. But we know about them. Imagine all the ones we don't know about. He's obviously driven by just his constant horniness at all times. she driven by a revenge horniness she just wants power or do you think that she has a wild sex drive she might genuinely just not care about him or anything he does and i think she just like is a power hungry person like as soon as she got the name she's like i

also wouldn't be surprised if she's just like never had sex like she's just zero sex drive really you don't think that she objectifies any even type of pool boys or anything like that I also wouldn't be surprised if she's just like never had sex. Like she's just zero sex drive. Really? You don't think that she objectifies any even type of pool boys or anything like that? No, I don't see her being like that. I see her being like that. I see her being like, come over and eat this pussy. Like she doesn't. She'll just like she's predatory.

Yeah. I mean, maybe. I mean, what do you think of it? Like Joe Biden, probably his dick probably hasn't worked for the last like 40 years. Biden's has it? No. I'd imagine like the Bushes were probably pretty horny because they were like fairly younger, right? Yeah, definitely. Obama was definitely fucking, but he seems like a loyal man.

Yeah. Trump, his dick doesn't work. No way. I disagree with that. He's probably fucking mainlining viagra straight into his definitely that and or he'll just make someone suck it soft make a boner out of this see if you can make this hard don't make this harder than it has to be

but uh that's a very big possibility. What do you think about Biden? You think he's fucking not? I think that he has I think that he has like Buzz Aldrin testosterone. He is like old man testosterone where he's just like he'll like go for like a bike ride and like run with his dog. And like he'll get like horny enough to be like, you have time for like a fuck session. Just try and fuck his wife once in a blue moon. And I think that he's too busy eating his chocolate chocolate chip.

You've never seen that video? They're like, what do they say, Owen? What is he asking him about in the chocolate chocolate chip video? Biden? Yeah, where they're like, Biden, what flavor ice cream is that? And he's like, chocolate chocolate chip. And they're like, what do you have to say about conflict in the Middle East?

Maybe they should try eating some chocolate, chocolate chip. Yeah, that's literally like a Veep sketch. Yeah, that's not real. They don't say what's happening in the middle, like conflict in the Middle East, but they say something about like, what do you think about Trump allegations or some shit? And he's like, maybe he should try eating chocolate chocolate chip can you pull it up Owen I just want to hear the audio

it must be hard like just hard being on all the time as a politician that's like his thing though I think he's going for like the cool president vibe because that's right and that's why I think he has Buzz Aldrin testosterone he'll put on some aviator sunglasses and a leather jacket and I think that he'll like it'll make him feel I think that he'll like,

it'll make him feel young, cool, and he'll fuck. Did you, do you see the one of him driving in the truck too? Oh, he like drove off in his own truck? Yeah.

He's like a president like trying to prove that he's lucid so he drives every now and again. He like goes off a million miles per hour. Alright, play it. Alright.

Hi. Hi. How are you? Good to see you. How are you? Good to see you. Hi. Is he a baby? No, no, no, I got mine. Okay. That's nice. I have to take back these pilots, too. Oh, good. Ray-Bans. Ray-Bans? Yeah.

We're so excited what you're doing for the country. Hi. Mr. President, what did you order? Chalk a chalk a chip. Mr. President, what is your message to Republicans who are prepared to block the January 6th commission? Eat your chalk-a-chalk-a-chip. Do you see a compromise in common ground on that? On the commission?

I think it's... I can't imagine anyone voting against establishing a commission. That's good. Why the fuck was everyone talking about him like he was a puppy at the beginning? Oh, there he is.

Oh, my God. Hey, Joey. Hey, little guy. I voted for you. I voted for you. Coochie-coo. Like, what are they, rubbing under his chin?

Is he a curly, blonde-haired baby? Like, what the fuck are they looking at? When is he a curly blonde haired baby like what the fuck are they looking at when you get older it's like people start treating you younger especially when you have like dementia like that yeah definitely they definitely had to like joe what you got there chalky chalky chippy joey got his chalky chippy does joey like his chalky chippy oh you got a little on your chin hey joe what do you think about what do you think about the united states bombing hiroshima back in the day maybe they should have had some chucky chippy chucky chippy some rocky roadie has it been a rocky road

for the dissidents in sy? Most presidents probably used to have somebody test their ice cream to make sure there's not poison in it. He'd probably make someone test the ice cream to make sure it's not hard enough to rip his dentures out. He bites into some chalky chalky chip and his whole fucking top line

of teeth just fall out. If I was president, I would be terrified of going out in public. Why? Just getting assassinated. I mean, you're not becoming president unless you're a fucking egomaniac psychopath. Yeah. You got like also getting assassinated as a president is not even the worst thing because

then you go down. It's like, oh, yeah. People love you no matter what. You could have like the lowest. There's probably presidents who like orchestrated their own assassinations because they're like having such a hard time. Probably. Like one thing could save me is if someone just shoots me in the chest with a Derringer from fucking point blank range. There's like videos of them smiling moments before.

And they're like, he was such a good president. I can't believe this was his last act with bombing Syria. We must finish this war on his behalf. Millions more must die. Did you hear about that? Someone got shot in Times Square yesterday. Dude, I literally, I turned on New York One this morning and I saw it. And my first thought went to you because don't you have to like walk through Times Square to get to your-

Well, I take the train now. You do? Yeah. Because Ubers are getting so fucking expensive. I'm on train mode these days, yeah. Shut up. Dude, the Uber is like, we live so close to the office. It's like a 20 minute walk, which is like.

Not much. It's like 10 blocks away or something like that. Yeah. Or no, we think we live. No, I'm not going to give out the exact numbers. People can probably triangulate you from this point. You've said enough. We live pretty close to the office.

We live in Hell's Kitchen. And the Uber, I tried to Uber here yesterday because of the gym that I go to is pretty close to the office we live in hell's kitchen and uh the uber i tried to uber here yesterday because of the gym that i go to is pretty close to our office and then i uh i have my pre-workout here so i go to the office first get my pre-workout then i go to the gym i went to uber yesterday it's 40 and i think that they're making it seem like it's not like a temporary surge in uber it's just going to be that expensive from now on. Yeah, because it keeps on saying rates are high right now. Because they said that...

There's always a reason. They're like, oh, it's hot. Since they went public, I think it's something about that Uber went public, so now they have to satisfy their stockholders or whatever and show increased profits all the time so they can't operate at any type of loss anymore. The most I would pay in dire need is probably $20. I'm not paying $ any type of loss anymore. The most I would pay in like dire need is probably like 20 bucks.

I'm not paying $40 to go like 10 blocks. But I mean, it should never even be a dire need to go 10 blocks. Well, it's more than 10. But still, though, like you should just be able to walk that. But it's a long walk. And like if I'm coming home, like so now I just take the train. But then yesterday I got fucking boxed out of the train and I was so mad what do you mean boxed out i was getting on the guy in front of me wouldn't get on he was like he was like he wasn't moving in then the train

doors closed i got boxed out why was it full oh because yesterday was like or this was two years ago but it was like pride weekend so it was like the streets we had like there was like a festival going on on our street it was no way yeah thonged out dudes. Yeah, we live in a very gay populated area. Beautiful. LGBTQ populated area. Beautiful penises of all the men out there. Oh, yeah. It's the season of penis.

It is. There's just penis flowing everywhere. It's cock boy summer. Big cock summer. This is a great job, by the way, Owen. I don't know if you did that, didn't you? Beauty and the Pigeon. Wait, Biz is the pigeon? Or is that Biz in the picture? way, Owen. I don't know if you did that, didn't you? Beauty and the Pigeon? Wait, Biz is the Pigeon? Or is that Biz

in the picture? Oh, dude, Wit was supposed to be the Pigeon. Wit's the Pigeon, bro. Oh, I thought Wit was the Beauty. No, dude. Did you see how he's dressed today? His socks don't match his shirt. He's a fucking beaut, dude. Have you ever heard him spin a yarn, bro? The way he tells stories.

There's R.A., that fucking beaut. R.A. is a fucking beaut. I'm going to be honest. I didn't think you guys were checking your phone. I was just sending those to myself. No, that's perfect. That was actually a beautiful job. We're always on the phones, dude. You know that R.A. is low-key.

He's kind of like a hybrid. He's a hybrid beauty pigeon. He's like half beauty, half pigeon. Dude, he's a beauty. He tells stories like a beauty, but he looks like a pigeon. That guy is a fucking beauty. He's a pigeon. He's completely confused. Dude is a beaut. He's stories like a beauty, but he looks like a pigeon. That guy is a fucking beauty. He's a pigeon. He's completely confused.

Dude is a beaut. He's a true beaut. We're talking about the spit and chiclets guys, for those who don't know. Yes, go DL their pod. Yeah, go download their pink lemonade vodka, or go buy their pink lemonade vodka. Pink Whitney. Pink Whitney's literally everywhere. Yeah, it is.

When I was in college, that's what everyone would drink. It's like I was in a podunk fucking bullshit bar. The same bar that we were trying to buy the fucking land off the guy and it's just Pink Whitney in there. I think it's the number one flavored vodka in the world. They didn't know what Barstool was and they knew what Pink Whitney was. I mean, yeah. I mean, the Barstool logo was on it, so. We need to

get this pod to a level where we can have some fucking gin drinks or some shit like that. Yeah, well, we don't. We're not going to be an alcohol brand podcast, but we'll get something. That'd be so sick if Miller Lite changed their name to Son of a Boy Dad. Just to name it after us.

Son of a Light Boy. Get some Light Boys. Tall Boy Dads. How much do you think that would cost to get that promotion going? If we just bought Miller Lite, if we just renamed Miller Lite after us or any beer brand. We got the naming rights to a major promotion going. If we just bought Miller Lite, if we just renamed Miller Lite after us or any beer brand.

We got the naming rights to a major beer company. Probably only a mill or two. Son of a bud dad. Shut up. Oh, there we go. That's so fucking good. There it is. That's so fucking genius, bro.

We need to get the whole C-suite in here. We need to get the CRO in here in here we need to get the cro in here fucking stat so we could tell them about the new revenue streams that we're about to open up the new verticals that would be such a funny concept we get them in here we got a great idea i think it's gonna bring the company a lot of money you're gonna sit down we're gonna sit down we want the naming rights of bud light well you're a big car bomb guy. Stout of a boy dad. I love car bombs but like the Northern Ireland kind. Like the actual car bombs.

Just actual C4 named after us. I'm talking about bombs. Oh yeah, that would be awesome. That would be a great source of revenue. Oh my god. Look, there goes fucking Grinelli. Uh oh. Dude, Grinelli great source of revenue. Oh my God. Look it, there goes fucking... Grinnelli.

Uh-oh. Dude, Grinnelli's probably about to be fucking... Those beauties. He's about to... Beauties. They have more terms than the ones we're using. I need to... We need to figure out some more of their terms.

Oh, fucking Ronan Sass... Ronan Sass asked to get me on the pod. Those fuckers. No, that doesn't sound right. Ronan Sass asked to get me on the pod. Those fuckers. No, that doesn't sound right. Ronan Sass asked to get me on the pod. I know when they talked about me,

they're like, we met the king of New York this weekend. Kid's a fucking beauty. Oh my God, he's a beauty. I wish we could pull him in for like one second

just to ask them. Yeah, just like give us a couple words, just a couple sentences. We'll pull them in. Oh, and go pull them off of whatever major interview they have

going on right now and ask if they can come on here. They're probably talking to the head of New Amsterdam. They're definitely talking to Bobby Orwell. You guys can talk to Wayne Gretzky later, but we just want you guys to do a couple of your catchphrases. I'm reading through hockey lingo. Hockey? A to Z.

We got happy. Oh, nice happy. The boys were're fucking happy this oh wait here comes here comes rear that just means appetizer rear yo rear all right all right get in here real quick here i'll let him use your mic oh and we hop on hop on oh it's like real quick yeah we're trying to we're trying to perfect some hockey lingo. Like we're trying to like, uh, not make fun of you, but like,

I'll pay homage to you. We were saying that you're like the, you're a cross between a beauty and a pigeon. You're like a half breed beauty pigeon. Yeah. I wouldn't, that's, I wouldn't disagree with that.

I have pigeon tendencies, but I can be a beauty as well. Exactly. Yeah. What are, what are some other, what are, what's some other lingo that you guys use?

We've been, we've been trying to imitate you guys, but we only have, we only have beauty. We only have beauty. Like, that's all we have. You know what? I mean, to be full confessional here, like, you probably want someone who actually played hockey at a competitive level for the proper lowdown.

Like, I only hear from what I hear. That's what I mean, but you dig around. Mine's some fucking... I mean, like, top cheddar, fucking... I mean, it's like a different language. It's like talking... It's almost like a surfer language Yeah it is

We just need a specific thing to make fun of Get Whitney Fry Whitney's ass up And fucking We're trying to learn some fucking What kind of move was that If we were using it in hockey lingo Him getting smoked in the head with his mic stand

Yeah dude You don't have to hold it up we'll fix it we'll fix it all right we need to know we want hockey lingo so we can make fun of you guys behind your backs and shit like that and all we have is beauty and pigeon like those are the only words that we're able to access i went to college i'm educated he just knows nothing but hawk hockey lingo talk to us give us some words. Give us some fresh words. We're not live, but this is going to be posted. They say they know pigeon and beauty. We only know pigeon and beauty.

We need a deeper dictionary than shit like that. We were talking about you guys and we were like, oh, this is a fucking beauty, eh? But we're looking for more shit like that. We got a pigeon. We got a beauty. That's like OHL guy. That's you. That's him. In the Western League, it's different than the OHL, so it goes into these different brackets.

It's Metro Toronto. These guys are so O. They're just like beauty. All right, we got that. So O. So O. You're just an O guy. If you were in gym class and you were showering afterward, would you ever like to make a joke? Yeah, yeah. Tuck my shirt. Do you guys call it the mangina?

The mangina. Okay. Dude, he ran cross country. Oh, last night Tuck my shirt. Tuck my shirt. Do you guys call it the mangina? Yeah. Okay. Dude, he ran cross country. So like, oh, last night was so mangina. He did that before cross country races. He ducks right. Last night was so mangina. Fucking beauty of a night.

But I think some of it's- No, so oh. That was such an old move with that mangina, dude. Yes. Like a fight's going to hit you. Bro, your oh was absolute mangina. Fights a Tilly. A Tilly?

A scrap. Is it Tilly? You scrapping? Scrap? You getting in scraps? Yeah, of course. Of course, bro. Hey, verbally and physically, you're scrapping.

Only verbally, though. I'm trying to think. I know. They're not coming to me. I need to think of practice. It's the cadence, dude. I'm trying to think of it off the top. I think, bud.

I think we already gave you guys a promo. Nice dish, bud. I think there's a lot of bud now. We're going to, bud, I think we already gave you guys a promo. Nice dish, bud. I think there's a lot of bud now. We're going to cut out your promo because we already gave you guys one. You promoted the vodka and the show. I don't want to cut anything out. All right, we'll keep it all in. We'll keep it all in.

Thanks for popping by. Son of a boy, dad, make sure you download that shit. Five stars. It's like their show, but like all the jokes and none of the hockey bullshit. You know what I mean? Definitely check that shit out, bro. Big time. That was exhausting.

That microphone was like a workout. Jesus Christ. Just hiking it up into their faces. I was just holding the microphone up and it kept swinging around. It's a good feature, though. It's good featuring them. No, that's great. I thought Whit was going to hit me.

He didn't like that at all. I know. He thinks I'm a bender. Yeah. He was like, you're just going to make me hold this up, bro? What are you, a man? I know. You're being so O, right?

You're such an O. They speak in the same cadence as the kid who reviews people's iced coffees. Do you know who I'm talking about? A little iced coffee here? Oh, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. Either he listens to them or they're based on their entire hockey. Kind of frothing it for a while there.

Because everything's in a question. Everything that they talk about. They try and be Canadian. People love to appropriate. Yeah, it is like sass. It's what people said. But it's awesome. It is to be like.

Like they're hilarious. Like anything that they say makes me laugh. Like literally. They are. Because they're just like big brothers that like goofing around. Yeah, they are. I look at them as big bro mentors. For sure.

I met them for the first time like when the when the it was before the it was the series before the lakers and the bruins i think yeah the lakers and the bruins the islanders and the bruins you're right you're wrong yeah and they just threw i i saw that i saw through the glass wall they pulled you in the gambling cage threw their arm around you and they're just like keep going kid like you're you, you got this. Yeah, we had a bro moment. Keep going. We had a bro moment. Like, you have all the tools.

You got the full toolbox to be able to fucking. Yeah, buddy's got the toolbox. Just got him to put those tools to work. No. No. Just put those tools to work. Buddy, you got the hammer and the nail. Just nail that hammer in.

Biscuit. Oh, yeah, biscuit. Buddy's got a biscuit. It's like a puck. And it's also a penis, I think. No. No, no, no. Almost everything is a penis. Almost everything, yeah. Cheddar, cheese, cheddar. God's got the beauty of a biscuit.

Yeah, that actually is very true. It's like you always have a nice buttered up penis. Yeah, you see a girl with a big ass. Clapper. Buddy, that girl had an absolute bisquey on her, no? She had a clapper of a biscuit girl had an absolute bisky on her. No, a clapper of a biscuit clappy clapper is ass, right? Would love to take her to

O-Town. No. Fucking Bibi Jones. Donkey juice. Oh, my God. Think of what that unbelievable donkey juice that's just left over

liquor and mixies. Pink Whitney is is donkey juice. I just just leftover liquor and mixies. Pink Whitney is donkey juice. I just put up... Start tweeting at Biz and say that... Just tweet a picture of Pink Whitney and call it donkey juice. A little donkey juice and a little electric

lettuce. Yeah. A little donkey juice for dinner? No. No. No. The boys are buzzing. Now this is, it's coming out. Because this is how everyone in my high school talked. So now it's all just coming back to me.

Are they like fake hockey dudes? No, I was friends with people that played hockey. I played hockey for a while. Oh, really? You were buzzing? I was a buzzer. No way. I was a bender.

Instead of bench warmer, they call them grocery sticks. That guy's an absolute grocery stick. You had some good money? Buddy, you heating her up for me? Heating up the seat? It is great fucking lingo. I got to pee bad, but I'm holding it in. Just piss yourself, dude.

I'm just going to hold it out. A king cobra. A king cobra? King cobra is a big poop. How is that a hockey term? You wouldn't get it, bro. You didn't play. How the fuck is that a hockey term?

Bro, you weren't in the league. Forget about it. You didn't even play PCHL. I feel like any type of HL. What were we talking about before the boys stormed the fucking stew? Those dudes are savages. Those dudes are absolute savages. The boys are savvies.

No. No. No. No. Gotta get the boys on the stream later no no no like could they ask a question and be like like they throw it i wasn't gonna go like i should have said no no yeah no that would be like that they'll say they throw no at the end of everything

no no and now to new york to record a couple parties no no we have a new pod skeddy schedule skeddy what's the skeddy no tuesdays oh i thought you were like telling me that breaking the news yeah we're putting the episodes out every tuesday from now on until further notice we're probably gonna switch it up a few times because we just like to fuck with you guys yeah actually we like to stay fun we like to keep our fans on their toes exactly we're liable to drop any time and that's why you have to stay fucking subscribed yeah you need to stay subscribed to us keep those notifications on the podcast is now also going to be available on youtube if you're watching this right now you'll know that notice for the kids don't forget to throw her a subby and a comment no all right i'm looking

at the wrong list because it has squeezer for handjob and and suey for suicide yeah bro pretty rough weekend my buddy committed suey my buddy was playing around in the suey's this weekend no not enough handies for the buddies and he committed suey my buddy was fiending for some squeezes and he ended up he ended up going full suey on us i said but you're committed suey no it's a shame kid was a beaut kid was a beaut he just couldn't finish you know he couldn't girls him, but he couldn't ever get the job done. I saw his mom at the funeral and I was like, shame your kid died. No. It was such a beaut.

It was a beaut. Such a sad suey. And we were just about to send her up to the fucking to the fucking rink tomorrow to get a little one on one. Shoot around the bony little bar down ski top shelf. I would have given him a squeezy myself if I knew he was that desperate. All about that. No throwing hip is having sex. I swear to God he was throwing a hip like once or twice a week. I don't know what happened. Throwing who goes who commits suey when they're throwing hip as much as that guy?

Exactly. I guess the girls weren't throwing lip as much as he was throwing hip. No. Oh, my God. I want to play hockey so bad. Hockey was always the sport. I just told myself I would have thrived that because I never played it. When you did the beer games the other day, did you go on the ice or no? I went on the ice.

I didn't put on skates. I wasn't about to fucking skate out there. I wanted to go. Did you, when you did the beer games the other day, did you go on the ice or no? I went on the ice. I didn't put on skates. I wasn't about to fucking skate out there. I wanted to go. They said I couldn't. Too young? Hey, Sass, you're only 16, right? Yeah. You have to be 25 to go to this.

People do love to call you a minor. I know. They're like, they call it as if you're like. It just doesn't make sense So like even when I turn 21 Next April 5th I'm not gonna be I'm still not gonna be able to do

I'm still not gonna be able to have Like branded beer sponsors Yeah you have to be 25 Like I won't even be able to drink On Friday Night Pints That's bullshit No I love

And I want to fucking drink On Friday Night Pints Did you go on this past week? Yeah, I was on. Shut up. It was not one of my best performances. I think I said one word the whole time. Fuck.

I was so tired. Get this through your head. You're representing us as a show now. I had a funny story in the beginning, which wasn't even my story. It was just me retelling a story that I heard on a podcast earlier. Shut up. And then. A story about you like hunting deer meat no it was i was telling this is joe rogan's yeah i was telling the story from um the workaholics dudes podcast you stole their story no i said i was like i was listening to this podcast and adam divine

was telling the story and i explained it and it was a funny story and they went nuts for it yeah i'll tell the story because i'm assuming people didn't all listen to that but uh you're gonna tell it now on this podcast yeah it's a funny story you want to hear it i mean i guess no it's not our story we won't tell it no tell the story now well he was just telling he was just saying that like he was late for a writer's room and he showed up like three hours late and apparently he like got falsely diagnosed with aids by his doctor what that's why he was late yeah because he got a call in the middle of the night and they were like you have aids and he was like that's not possible and then he went and got tested and they didn't have aids his way of telling it was better but i don't want to rip their story go

check out their podcast if you want to hear it no don't don't don't don't stay on this fucking podcast don't go anywhere listen to anything else re-llisten. We need the DLs. They're actually a friend of the pod. Oh, really? Yeah, Blake. I was DMing with Blake the other day. Shut up. Get him on. Little name drop. Absolute beauty. Absolute beauty, that guy.

Tell Ron about the person we saw getting carted away. Carted? Or carted? Carted away. Into an ambulance. Oh, that story. we were walking down the street and it was like really hot out and we saw this guy uh we saw a guy with like a it looked like it looked like he they thought he was dead and then he like came back to life they put him in a body bag had the white sheet wrapped around him and then he like came back to life they put him in a body bag he had the white sheet wrapped

around him and then like he's just like I think he might have just like woken up while he was in it and he like burst through it was like so like the way that they wrapped it it looks like that they thought he was dead like he was fully wrapped they put it on his face just peeking out he had been zipped up shut up where

was he in hell's kitchen you guys need to move. The fact that there's just people dying, you're just not... Nothing wrong with people dying. If people want to die in New York, that's completely their prerogative. That's their druthers. You're not ready for it, though. There's dead people everywhere in New York.

You're not ready to see the dead. It was like foaming at the mouth. That's what I mean. You're not ready. You need to move to a nice neighborhood. Dude, I saw a dead body that one time. Dude was like, I think he might have jumped off the building above me. He was splattered on the ground. Like his arms and his head and his neck were just in places that it's not physically possible.

What the fuck? I know. What happened with this guy that he was getting carted off? Were you guys just sitting there watching a crime scene? Just cracking some fucking troubles? No, I don't think anything happened. I think he was probably passed out or something on the street, and then they must have gone up to him and thought he was dead.

But then he had to have just woken up while they were carrying him off. That's so funny. I mean, it's terrifying. It must have been pretty funny, though, at the same time. For him? Yeah. Yo! What the fuck?

I'm in here. I'm not dead. Just let him. Just let him sit in there. Should we unzip him or should we just keep him zipped up? That has to happen sometimes. People are on the verge and they're just like... They already have done all the paperwork. Fuck.

He's dead. We pronounced him dead. He's been pronounced dead. What are we supposed to do? That's five hours of paperwork. Those stories about people who die and then come back to life are always just like, do you think that's actually real? Yeah, he was dead for 15 minutes. Those people always love to sell a book about how like heaven was real. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hundred percent. He walked through the hospital and like saw like somebody in a different room. There's no way he could have seen it unless heaven's real. What the fuck are you talking about? I was just chilling. And then all of a sudden I was just like up with a God super cool guy and girl well he's both he's gender he's a guy and girl we had some french onion dip and then i come hurtling back to earth there's like a welcome party for me it's fucking sick i saw my grandpa just smoking weed mixed with tobacco out of a corncob pipe. I thought I was fucking home.

And I got fucking thrust back into my earthly vessel. I didn't even get to say bye either. I was right about to take a fat rip and then they pull me back in. Which makes two times I haven't been able to say goodbye to grandpa. Two times I haven't been able to rip bowl with

grandpa. He was always packing the fattest fucking bowls. Grandpa was such a stony, such a stonehenge. Everyone was smoking it up back then, though. Yeah, they were. Fucking hemp. Fuck the rules against weed, man. Fuck the marijuana laws, bro.

Straight up. They were just designed to keep fucking people people like me creatives and immigrants fucking down they're just trying to fucking keep us and they're just trying to keep immigrants like me out of positions they don't want my mind to be that powerful that's why they don't want me smoking weed to keep fourth generation americans bro exactly oh oh prohibition bullshit bro they should let anybody drink at any age biden gets to fucking drink not me though he was old enough to serve in the fucking military but can't have a beer he's probably gonna fucking die anyway dude if he he's putting himself at risk by fucking drinking piece of shit but i can't even ride a bike fucking dumb dumbass old head. All right, I actually have to pee.

Like, I'm going to piss my pants. All right, let's call it. Is it? How long have we been going? What's up, guys? Welcome back to Son of a Boy. After show. I had to pee.

We had to take a little break. Had to piss like a fucking racehorse, no? A little breaky? A racey. Doing a little rakey on the bloody. I had to squeeze the fucking lemon, no? Yeah, our bloody was fucking drinkling. Dinkling.

I really had to go. It was getting bad. One of those times where you have to pee so bad that it hurts your stomach. I did acid this past weekend, and it makes you pee so much. Yeah? I bet you didn't know that. Dude, I do acid every fucking weekend. No, you don't, dude.

You do mushrooms, and I fucking know you do. I know you're scared to fucking ramp it up to the acid is fucking tight dude it's fucking sweet bro it's even did you have any uh like awakenings no i see god no it was more just like uh at the nascar race we just saw like the the cars these cars are going so fast wait i feel like I just saw that car am I going fucking crazy I know this shit's working because that car's going really fast I feel like I've seen that car that car's just going fast

fuck that car looks blurry what the fuck NASCAR is real oh dude that car it's true salt to the earth yeah you see any confederate flags waving over there Oh, dude, that car. It's true. Salt to the earth. Do you see any Confederate flags waving over there? I definitely did.

Yeah. Not even kidding. Like we were in central Pennsylvania and like on the way there's like people flying Confederate flags over their pools. Yeah, that's not surprising. I mean, isn't like Canascar like known for that though? But Pennsylvania fought in the Union. It's like that's not even your side. It's actually so pussy that even the most hick people from central Pennsylvania won't just rip down a Confederate flag.

It's like flying the fucking flag of the army that fucking lost the war on the fucking ground where the war was fought. But it's a NASCAR thing. Is it? Oh, yeah. 100% is. Oh, I saw the Antifa for NASCAR flag while I was there, which I was fucking shocked about. Yeah, and those people probably died after the... The Antifa people? No, they had like a lit

tailgate. They probably got murdered. It was a fucking sick tailgate. Yeah, I'd like to think, but I know that it's like a very heavily um race racist racist fan group oh and am i right no you can't see nascar no i'm wrong sponsor they're a big sponsor of barstool oh jesus are they really yeah come on it's a big crossover so should we just start it off again no no no no, no. They know that too. They know that too. I mean, we're saying things that, like, we're talking

about the elephants in every room that we walk into. There is, I mean... I'm sick of fucking sitting in silence, dude. I can't do this anymore. We will not be silenced. We will not be silenced. I'm sick of NASCAR trying to fucking silence me. My voice will be heard.

I will be heard. I will be heard. You can steal my platform. You cannot steal my voice. Son of a boy dad has been canceled by Barstool Sports. What's up, guys? Dave Portnoy here. Emergency Press Conference. Apparently the sons of boy dads thought they're whatever the

fuck they go by. Think that they can just talk about whatever? Wait, that is definitely the fan group name. The sons of boy dads thought they're whatever the fuck they go by. Think that they can just talk about whatever? Wait, that is definitely the fan group name. The sons of boy dads? I thought we were doing the sons of Sam. No, that's a thing already. That's the soccer group. Sons of boy dads works. That's what you said before too, but sons of Sam is a cult. Yeah, but

sons of boy dads is... The sons of boy dads is what they're going to be called. Kind of like the sons of anarchy. The sons. But also sons and daughters. Right? Yeah, because we have a very, I think it's very equal.

What do the analytics say, Owen, about the split of our listeners? Is it? 50-50. Shut up. Oh, let's fucking go, dude. Dope. Oh, yes.

Yes. Fuck yes. They should all start fucking. Wait, it's going up. It's going up. Oh. It's fucking go, dude. Dope. Oh, yes. Yes. Fuck yes. They should all start fucking. Wait, it's going up. It's going up. Oh. It's 60-40. It's girls.

Which way? Which way? It's girls. It's all girls. We're girls? Yes. No, dude. That would be awesome if it was 50-50 because then all of our fans could fuck and recreate

and then we would just build an empire. And they would name all their kids Ronan Sass. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. But Sass would have to be the girl name. Yeah. Well, Sassy could be the girl.

Sassy. Oh, and Roni. No, that wouldn't work. That wouldn't work. That's not sweet. That's more of a hockey. We'll ditch that one. You don't want to be a boy?

No, Roni. Little Roni. Like Corona. That sounds like a good slang for Corona. People used to say they caught the Rona. The Roni. Caught the Roni. Buddy caught the rona. The rony. Caught the rony. Buddy got the rony. Oh no. Buddy's in ICU

for the rony. He's about to commit suey. He's got the rony so bad. No. Suey was the best one. It's all just like bar down. Bar down. Biscuit. Yeah. Biscuit. Yeah, biscuit.

Sui. The suicide rate for hockey players is like 90%. Oh my... They just have to talk about it so much. They didn't want to have a slang term. We need slang for this. Fellas, we need to have a... We need to come up with a slang word for suicide stat. Like at the table of fucking hockey governors.

It's a shame he committed suey at the cleanest Manginas. I love how that was their second one. He's like, guys, you guys know beauty and you know pigeon. Fuck. Oh, you ever do a Mangina? Tuck your dick between your legs, right? You ever tuck your dick between your legs? That's a big one.

That's a big beauty move. That's a big beauty move. But also pigeons do it, too. It's crazy. Wow, that is crazy. All right, should we wrap it up? Yeah, we's a big one. That's a big beauty move. That's a big beauty move. But also pigeons do it too. It's crazy. Wow, that is crazy. All right, should we wrap it up? Yeah, we had a good run on this show. And stay tuned for more episodes next Tuesday.

Yes, we should be getting Bryce on. We should be getting Keem on. Keem will be here. We should be getting Dobie on. Dobie. We should be getting maybe some more. Dobie. We should be getting maybe some more of your favorite Barstool guests. We might have Biz and

Pink Whitney on. Yes. We might have Pink on. Pink might come through. We might have Busy and Witty on. Probably next Tuesday, honestly, if we record with them this week. Yes. That would be a good one to put out because we're out of the office next week. Fuck. The boys are all going on a little vacay.

Wait, are we actually out of the office? What are you going to do all week? Brother, I'm heading out of state. Shut up. I'm heading to the Pogados. The Pogados. You've only been to six states, though. Are you going to expand your horizons and go to the seventh?

Nope. You're going back to one of your old trusted ones? Yep. One of your comfort zones? And I'm not going to tell people where it is because it's a secret. Boy, bro. On your comfort zones. And I'm not going to tell people where it is because it's a secret. Boy, bro. Come and find me. Before you go off, before you cut off, why don't you list your five cities?

If you had to name your five cities, your five towns. Oh, jeez. What are your five towns? Obviously, New York. You're the king of New York. But what are your other four towns? Dude, I don't know. Look, I've been to three cities, I think, total.

Say your five towns so we can get the fuck out of here. All right., I've been to three cities, I think, total. Say your five towns so we can get the fuck out of here. All right. And so we can so- New York, Chicago, Rome. Okay. Florence.

Okay. Paris. Wow. Yeah, bro, I like to get, I like to go abroad. The international king. Show me. International, shut up.

All right, guys, thank you for listening. Luisa Berlusconi. Five stars. Lu Thank you for listening. Louis side Berlusconi. Five stars. Louis five star reviews. Subscribe to everything. Give us a thumbs up if you're watching this on YouTube, please. Yes.

It helps a lot. Boost the spotty numbers. Get on Spotify. Boost the spotty numbers. Please download on both platforms. Roll spotty. Please. All right.

Thanks, guys. Peace. You need a better sign off. You need to just get a better sign off. All right. Thanks, guys. Peace.