Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 62 - Off the Delta-8 (ft. Nick Colletti)

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Nick Colletti joins the show to talk about his stand up career, his Vine success, eat a bunch of snacks, and just chop it up with the fellas into some microphones.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today is in a world we won't even say the date. Friday the 13th. Oh, it's Friday the 13th.

I didn't even know that. Yeah. Fuck, dude. You believe in the occult? You fuck with the occult? Believe in it. I've seen that shit. Holy shit eyes yeah holy fuck dude i love the occult we're here with nick colletti hello hello what's up dude what's up good to have you there's a lot less uh this is a lot a lot more

laid back than uh part of my take. It's chill. We don't get as many viewers as them. Oh, that's not true. We are starting 36 minutes late, so we are a little more laid back in that way. Yeah. And one of the five of us in here was on time, and it was Nick.

Which is the worst case scenario. Best case scenario would have been if you were the late one. I was on the Delta 8 fucking energy boost. Yeah. Yeah, you're zooming right now off the Delta 8. I can see it. I see it in your eyes. I see it in your S sound. What is the other one? Isn't there

like the Delta 10? Delta 10. And that one's dangerous. Yeah. You don't want to fuck with Delta 10. My buddy did that and he died. But. Hey. want to fuck with delta 10 my buddy did that and he died but hey chill the fuck out dude i could see like a future song with him talking about like i mix the delta 8 with the delta 10 oh my god chanel number nine i got a book delta 18 teachers started talking about delta 8 it would be huge for the Delta 8 community.

Oh, yeah. And they need it. Who are the dudes that sell Delta 8? Like, who is so focused on finding an alternative for weed? It must be good money, but is it businessmen? Is it stoners? Is it like Hondurans? So in Pennsylvania, I know I can go to Sunoco and get Delta 8.

So it's really just small business owners trying to make a hard-earned buck. Yeah, I guess it is. But I literally just go to Sunoco, I buy my Delta 8, and then I get all my munchies. It's like a one-stop shop. So you get your Funyuns, your Bang Energy, and your Delta 8. Your Bangs. You get it all. Yesterday when you were about to go on PMT, I heard you ask Big Head if we hit bang on tap.

I was like, you guys have a couple bangs lying around here? I need to bang up. Do you actually drink bang? I do. Yeah. I used to drink. I never really drank bang. You ever had rain?

Mm-mm. Oh, rain is unreal. Really? Yeah. I like too much caffeine. Okay. Yeah. That's why I like bang.

Like, I feel like, ugh. The birthday cake bang? Have you ever had the birthday cake one? Yeah. I like too much caffeine. Okay. Yeah. That's why I like bang. Like I feel like the birthday cake bang. Have you ever had the birthday cake one? No, I don't fuck with that one either. We had rainbow unicorn. Yeah. I like pina colada or Mexico or Miami Cola. Those are the ones. It's a good one. It tastes like it. Dude, you also have some fresh new snacks right

here. I feel like you should. Oh, no. I wasn't talking about your clothes, but those are new snacks. We got snacks. Dude, pop those Fruity Pebbles. Let's get a live... I know. I want to try them. Let's do ASMR. Yeah, do a little live ASMR. There was no popping noise. That felt so good.

Wow. Were you surprised at the look of them? They're like wafers. Oh, wow. I didn't expect that. I don't know. They're pretty good. This tastes like the cereal, yeah. It seems like you're disappointed in the shape of them. I was disappointed in the shape of them as well.

What would you want them to be shaped like? I don't know. I thought they were going to be like clumps. That would have been doper. Yeah. Or just a bag of the cereal. Yeah. Yeah, they should make little bag cereals. Yeah, you know what? Fuck these. clumps that would have been doper yeah or just a bag of the cereal and then just yeah yeah they should make little bag cereals they have like fuck these they make like granola bars too now

and they're just rainbow fruity pebbles yeah they're not granola though fruity pebbles is just uh they're good yeah but they're playing off the their colors though if it was just like gray scale if you took all the colors out of fruity pe Pebbles would you think they'd pop like that? That's my question. Well obviously not. You think so? That's a dumb question. What if they were just great? If they didn't have Fred Flintstone, they had like Samurai Jack or something. Yeah, if they had another dude on there.

Some obscure character. The way we can find out is what their sales are in the blind community. If blind people still enjoy them. If the blinds are into them, you know what I mean? If the fucking blind people still fucking 3D foamers. You need to be tapping into the blind community, I think, more often. Yeah, just to be like, is this actually good?

Or colorblind. Yeah, the colorblind community. And then we should ask the deaf community what they think about albums. Is this Kendrick? Do you like the cover? Is it good? Do you think deaf people fuck with, um,

what is it? Rice crispy? What is the cereal that pops? Oh yeah. Snap, crackle and pop. Yeah. I wonder if they fuck with that.

It makes them feel something. Probably not. They feel the vibrations of it popping. They probably don't. There is a blind community on 23rd street, not far from here that they have a place called sealess manor and they fucking all just like kind of mill about outside of there i think there's got to be varying degrees of blind folk in there though yeah they can't all

be like isn't lights out legal blindness is like you can't see you can only see like shapes but i think some people who are legally blind or just wear glasses yeah they're just walking among us as if nothing's wrong. Right. Just fucking... And that's the bravest thing ever. Those are the bravest ones among us. Dangerous, too, though.

That's when you get that T-shirt gun out. You see who the real blind people are. Exactly. Pull up on someone with a T-shirt gun. Just checking. I think there's a T-shirt gun in the office. Oh, hell yeah. I think KFC has one, right? They do. My boy bought a t-shirt gun in the office oh hell yeah i think kfc has one right they do my boy bought a t-shirt gun my boy mike but it was uh it was one where you had to plug

it in it had to be like plugged hardwired in all the time so you couldn't go on like a shooting spree with like an air compressor yeah or no to like just the outlet or something like that but like yeah you couldn't go that far because the. Because the real ones have the big cans, right? Yeah. You get that paintball thing in there. And now in basketball games, they have like a Gatling gun. It's like a fucking big circle of T-shirt guns.

Oh, shit. The T-shirt gun technology is crazy. Too much serotonin coming out of that. People are getting too happy off that shit. Too pumped off the shirts. I've never even had one of those come in my general direction. Yeah, it's so weird. Every time I'm at a game, it's always

like they're going everywhere except where I'm at. Yeah, you don't have good enough seats, maybe. Probably. And that's the tea. You're fucking broke, bro. You need to get better seats. Dude, I got a question. How do you guys know each other? How do you even know who LittleSasquatch

is? I actually didn't even know who little sasquatch is i actually didn't even know you were friends with nate like i saw your video and i was like wow this is fucking hilarious and then it's just a random and i told nate i was like have you seen this and he was like oh yeah that's a little sass yeah nate me and so i'm friends with his cousin nate and then like that's just yeah is he an online dude or is it just a regular He used to be like the online dude He's the most online He used to be online AF And he's not really anymore He gave all that up

Damn dude how's he How's he handling being offline I mean he was taking it really hard I know dude It's tough It's all voluntary I think he just doesn't want to do it anymore. He streams.

He has a Twitch stream. Oh, so he's online. Twitch.tv slash Nate Premium. Yeah. It's so good. Nate Premium. He's got like 10 different names for himself. Nate the Genius.

He's a family man now. He has his girlfriend and he has a cat. What is the merch that he made that he invested a shit ton of money into and and no one bought it i think it was like nate premium merch oh my god it was like one of his weird like bits and like camp recess oh it was camp recess yeah yeah he also started uh when i started at barstool he started full send university yeah full send university That's funny as fuck How do you know him, Seth? I just know him from like through Twitter I mean I knew

Like I knew I found out about Nick and Nate from Vine And then like Vine ended But like I knew like Nate Too soon, bro Nate was like a big Twitter guy And I just know him from that Yeah it is sad how they did Vine

I know they fucked you guys They fucked themselves honestly I know Dude V2 is coming Right He's gotta be ready man When did they say that Vine was coming back I don't know I just remember the creator

Just posting that V2 picture and then just nothing happened with it. No, I think he did come up with an app, but no one really used it. Was that Bright? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Was it the same thing? Was it the same kind of similar? Yeah, like six seconds, but it actually was worse.

You couldn't add music. It was like the first run of Vine. They just brought that back. How'd you know you'd be good at Vine? I didn't. I honestly just worked at a car dealership. My friend said, you should download this app. I was like, all right.

And then I did, and then I became obsessed with it immediately. I remember that night going home and making like five. I fucking thought it was so fucking fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was. It was so fun. And when you did a good one that people liked, it's like, ah, you chased that. It was fun.

And it like six seconds. It's not, you don't have to think too hard about that. Yeah. It's not rocket science. And I think a lot of people did overthink it, but that just is what whittled down like the people who are actually good as fuck at it. Well, that's when it like ruined stuff like that. When you, then you got people that are like filming their vines in like 4k

yeah like a whole production team like a corporation trying to do their their vines yeah some shit like that people trying to get that serious you're like all right it was a look it up it was a fun ass time what were you doing at the car dealership you weren't hawking cars i was the lot attendant was that what did thatail? So every morning I'd wash all the cars. Yeah, basically just washing cars. Like if someone bought a Mazda and I would clean it up. Yeah. I worked at the Mazda dealership.

Oh, shit. Free Mazdas or what? Did they let you, they didn't just let you get a bunch of Mazdas or something that you could take home? There was really no cool perk about the job. We got pizza on Saturdays. Oh, shit. So that was turnt. We get bag joke. We got pizza on Saturdays. Oh, shit. So that was turnt.

We get bagels. We get bagels on Fridays. I was trying to give him one, dude. You don't want those. I had a... They're bad. I had my full fill of food. I had a Jamaican meat patty.

I had a sandwich. I stopped at La Pain and got a mini tart and then a macaroon. I ate a fuckload of shit. Wait, you had a mini tart and a macaroon and a Jamaican patty and a fucking... Yeah, that's awesome. That's a crazy morning. And a mandarin honey. It is.

Like an orange soda. That's my breakfast, yeah. That's 2,000 calories. That's your whole day right there. You just had them all. That's awesome. How many times have you been in New York? Like have you been here a lot?

This is like my third time as an adult. Fourth, third or fourth. And you did Caroline's when before this? Yeah, that was like pre-COVID. Oh, nice, nice, nice. Maybe two years ago. Awesome. So how long have you been doing standup?

I've been doing standup now for about four years. Damn. Four or five years. Yeah. Does it fill the hole in your heart that Vine left? It does. I honestly love doing stand-up it's um it's not easy uh sometimes it is easy sometimes it's fun but sometimes it's really hard and it's like it's a challenge and then it's just making people laugh like the the risk reward thing is so amazing because like you get up there and you

you really are putting your balls on the line like your your unique perspective if you're writing your own material yeah like you don't know if people are gonna fuck with that or think that's funny but when it goes over and you and you get a hit and you they fuck they fuck with your shit and they laugh really hard it's like it makes it all all worth it so i i kind of just chase those highs i'm an addict. So you're like touring right now. How do you like that? How do you like the flying around everywhere? I like it. It's definitely, I mean, I'm sure you can, it's kind of lonely sometimes.

Going from that many people that like sensory kind of overload. We're all there to see you. And then you're just back alone. Me and Casey Fry, we talk about that a lot. Do you guys ever do anything together? I think we're going to in the fall. But we did one show

together where it went really well. He's fucking hysterical. He hasn't been doing stand-up for that long though, has he? Probably the same amount of time I have. Oh really? I didn't know that. So we're definitely starting at similar points. He's out in la um

in the burg how's the stand-up scene in pittsburgh uh it's okay it's good i don't really go out a whole lot in pittsburgh yeah i need to get more and more into just going to like open mics and stuff there's a lot of you do like spots uh i don't really you just do your shows nice but i need to get into just doing it but at the same time time, I'm like, do I need to do that? Because I'm like, fuck, what if I start moving backwards? I start doubting myself. Backsliding. Yeah, yeah.

Lose your confidence. Lose your secret stuff. You're not that funny, man. Dude, Pittsburgh has a lot of hills. Hell yeah. Why do you think my calves are so big? Is that why? Hell yeah.

I've been walking up hills since I was two years old. You got a loose hamstring too, bro. You just almost put your leg behind your head. Oh, what? You stretch, dude. Yep. Do you? No, I don't.

And you just naturally limber? I guess so. God, man, I wish, man. My body just tightens up so much. I'm so tight. I know. I'm tight as fuck. It's the city, bro.

New York does not tighten you up. It kind of does. It's very stressful walking around. It's basketball season, so you know what that means. It's time for game time. It's the playoffs. The fucking Celtics are in the playoffs. Yeah, I'm actually planning on going to

the next Celtics game. And you know how I'm going to do that? How? With game time. Game time. Shout the fuck out to game time, dude. Game time is the best way to get tickets at the last minute for the best sporting events, the best shows, the best concerts. And you're going to get an incredible price with GameTime, a brand new ticketing app that guarantees the lowest price. I love GameTime. I use GameTime all the time. I'm actually about to go to the Lumineers concert this summer, and I bought my tickets through GameTime. Hey-ho, download the GameTime app and go to an account tab to create a login and redeem code

boy dad for 20 off your first purchase terms apply download game time last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed game time game time well when are you leaving when are you leaving new york tomorrow morning okay so wait where are you staying I didn't want to doxie, but you all know. The Hilton Inn. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh. How do you like that? The fucking Crush Castle. How do you like Times Square?

It's awesome, actually. The greatest place on earth. I've never stayed there or spent a lot of time there, so it is kind of a nice, you know, just getting that. It's probably nice if you haven't. Yeah. It's like the Fruity Pebbles. It's like there's all colors and shapes and sizes there i heard every language literally ever walking here

this morning did you did anyone that did like mickey mouse try and hug you yeah yeah she said hello and i said hola and i was like i know you speak spanish she does what's your take on saying uh like gracious to a waiter a waitress at a mexican restaurant do you fuck with it i feel like it's appropriate at a mexican restaurant yeah you think so because it's not all the waiters there are mexican like you got there's some white people that work at mexican restaurants right so it's like you're doing it because you're there yeah it's all about the environment yeah but like at a french spot would you say like merci yeah you would you wouldn't if i was in like what i if i was in france i would i don't say what is like a french

spot like la pancadine or whatever pret pret is a french spot prison prison that's a french spot how did you say what is it i said i'll have a large cold brew thanks and then it took the guy 10 minutes to fucking get it to me. That's because it's Pratt, bro. You're paying for quality. Right? I've never been to Pratt, but I know people are upset. It's all right now.

That's where you got your pastries? They have... Oh, you went somewhere else to get pastries? I love Pam. Oh, to Pam. I love the paste. Dude, they... Pratt's got good-ass paste, dude.

Macaroon was fire. I'm a huge fan. Macaroons are so fucking good. Coconut-flavored anything, yeah. Yeah, you peanut colada? Mm fan. Macaroons are so fucking good. Coconut flavored anything, yeah. Yeah, you peanut colada? Mm-hmm. That's my favorite bang energy. Bang energy, yeah.

Penis-a-lada. Yeah. Yo, I never thought of it like that. I never even fucking considered that. Have you ever said that to someone? At a place? No. You should.

That would be so funny. I'll have penis-a-lada. What? Yeah, I'll get penis a lot of. What? Yeah, I'll get the penis a lot of. You think they would have any, you think they would like get thrown off or you think like,

they probably just thought you like said it wrong and were just right now. Yeah. They don't have time for that shit. Not in New York. There's got to be

some weird ass people going in New York. We're strictly business here. Strictly biz. In the small town. Penis a lot of penis. Grigio too. That's another word you could put penis right on the front of us there's a lot of stuff you can just throw penis on and it makes it better fuck yeah yeah it's fucking sick um so carolines it's a good spot yeah where are you going after

that uh i'll be in the mid. I'm going to Omaha, Nebraska. Fuck yeah. Then I'm going to fucking. Who tells you where to go? You have a booking agent or something like that? Yeah, I do. So I'm assigned with Gersh. They're like a.

Shout out Gersh. Shout out to Gersh. Shout out to. What up Gersh? Valentine, my booking agent. So they just. Your booking agent's name is Valentine? Yeah.

Isn't that cool? Yeah. Is he a pimp? He's a sweetheart. Yeah. He's like a. He he's definitely one of those pimps. Yo, what? Being a booking agent is kind of like being a pimp. It kind of is.

Yeah. He's like, go here, make some money. Bring daddy some. Bring it back to Papa. Bring daddy 10%. It actually is like the exact same thing. Literally. Yeah.

Never getting fucked. You can buy him. just on the side though he just does it when he loves it he just does it pray he does it when he loves it he's just looking out but why why nebraska right after new york what's the method to the madness for these booking agents i don't that's a great question they they have uh there is definitely a method i don't know what it is but i think it's, they just route things out. Look at like, I think it's like where your fans are. Yeah.

Timing. Oh yeah. Yeah. Stuff like that. Where's like your spot. Like where's like your biggest. Oh dude. Boston always shows me a ton of love.

Boston's. We did a, we did a show in Boston and that was like awesome. Right. Where'd you do? Did you laugh Boston? I did. I think it was one of the improv. I did the one, that one theater of the improv. I did the one that one theater.

Oh, yeah. No. The Wilbur. Yeah, I did the Wilbur. Oh, wow. Really? That was really fun. Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, it's big. Thank you. Yeah, that's just a big ass room. It was. It was tight. It was tight. Was that your biggest? Was that the biggest room you've done?

I did the Oriental Theater in Denver. That was pretty big, too. Oh, really? Yeah. Damn. How do you show your scaredness when you get scared? How does it show? Do you sweat a lot?

Not anymore. You really don't? Uh-uh. That's crazy. Let's fucking go, dude. I feel like the first time I did it, I was terrified. But now I just... Dude, I do push-ups backstage.

That's the medicine. Oh, that's probably what it is. It gets your T up. That's like... And then you're like, fuck this crowd. I'll fuck all of you. Even if you don't laugh, I don't care. I i'm telling i'm saying my shit and then i'm leaving just looking at your calves in the mirror being like these pussies don't fucking walk uphill well you kind of you kind of need that edge like because it is i mean you're definitely like

putting yourself in a weird predicament like naturally what situation would a human being be in like in nature like all these people waiting for you to make them laugh. Like that's just like. Yeah, it is crazy. It's super not natural at all. So you kind of have to get into your little primal fighting mode. Fuck these dudes. Yeah.

Or there's like ways, there's like ways you can stand that boost your T. Like I think if you like stand up like this. Put them on your shoulders. Yeah. The power stance. Yeah, on the hips like that. Who's the dude that's always talking about that? You.

No. There's someone else. You talk about this all the time. Dude, because it's... Your T-stance. You need it. Yeah, your T-stance, dude. You need to get your T-stance.

Oh, you're constantly talking about getting more T. Exactly, bro. I'm young, bro. I got T. He's T-ed up. Where's it at? I'm T-ed up. Where's it at?

Let's see it then. Everywhere. If you got T, dude, whip it out. No. You don't get to see that. Are you talking about Rivelino? The guy who checks? No, not that guy.

It's someone fucking, like, Tony Robbins or some shit. Yeah, it's like Tony Robbins. He's always on his stance. Who are you talking about? That's the guy who checks if you're standing straight up or at an angle. Oh, that shit is. Oh, the green. I love that.

Yeah. That shit's real. Is it? Jason Statham never leans in. He doesn't. He's always straight up. Statham doesn't. I'm a big lean in.

You're like. I did. After I saw that video, the green lines, I went back and looked at all the pictures of my girlfriend. I'm like, I can never show her like half of these pictures. Let anyone see half of these pictures. Why? Because you're leaned up on her? Yeah. The whole time. She up on her yeah and she's good she's in a power pose she's got hands on hips

yeah arm straight up in the air damn i gotta get yeah i gotta stop leaning in you gotta stop being scared i know i gotta stop being a little bitch i don't want to be scared anymore either toxic masculinity yeah dude that's we're a barstool sports that's our thing is it yeah we hate betas it's fire bro if you're a beta we'll kick your ass out of here yeah have you ever heard of barstool sports before yeah what did you know it went that deep though yeah what'd you hear about it what did you know about barstool yeah exactly, exactly, bro. You knew the Instagram page?

Yeah. Yeah. It's all good, dude. That's all I knew. That's pretty much still all I know. Do you want to work here, bro? In Barstool? Yeah, you want a job here?

Sure. Okay, cool. Fuck yeah. It's so easy, dude. We just have specs. We just start hiring all of our guests. Yeah, we do it. We just hire people. What's the pay like?

It's good, dude. Really bad. Really? Unless you're him. Yeah, it's good for some of us. Yeah, we do it. We just hire people. What's the pay like? It's good, dude. Really bad. Really? Unless you're him. Yeah, it's good for some of us. He gets paid a lot. And bad for other people. But it's really just about not being scared.

It's good for like five people and then bad for everyone else. It's sick. I want Dave Portnoy's crypto wallet account. You should. That's what I want. I think it's going the wrong way, though. I don't even know if you would want that, yeah. Really?

I'll take it. I think he lost a bunch of money in safe moon yeah it went down to zero you into crypto no yeah good i tried you did for like a straight up like a day i signed up for all the wallets and i was like i'm a trader yeah did you get into that like gamestop and amc no i was like so heavily into that for a day did you make any money i almost had everything i almost made millions okay and i end up cashing out with like 100 bucks okay but dude like i was like i was like falling asleep with robin hood up like next to my bed so i can like set like alarms so i could wake up and make sure i didn't have to sell my doge but his alarms wouldn't go

off dude it was fucked dude it was so bullshit some bullshit. Wow, unreliable. Fucking alarms. I hate when they do that. It's fucking alarms. They do that. They're just not a reliable part of his phone. Everything else usually works perfectly, but alarms just don't work for whatever reason. Fucked up. Did you live in LA?

Yeah. For a little bit? Lived in LA for like eight years. What made you decide to go back to Pittsburgh? You were just done with LA? Just needed a perspective change. Shit was just kind of stale yeah what was wrong with the perspective out there um i don't know i was comparing myself to a lot of people and that was just like not healthy and like i mean comparisons the thief of joy right exactly and like some of those comparisons

might have been true but i'm like i don't even i don't so what who gives a it's not making me more productive thinking about this shit so i was like i need to go home what do you mean being like that this person is more successful than me or like this person's getting booked for this shit i imagine in la because you end up not doing anything because you're like too afraid it's a self-fulfilling prophecy you're like too afraid of that happening so what you do is you don't do the exact thing that would help you blow out of that damn so i was just sitting around not really doing a whole lot um and i was like fuck i need to i need to change smart move to oven did you have a good squad out there i kind of i mean the whole friend making friends out there is a trip dude because you really don't know people's intentions

i know and they're almost always really bad. And when you find them, when you find out what they are, it's too late. Yeah. So like I have maybe two really good homies who my one homie Casey, he was starting his tour and stuff. So I rarely ever saw him. And then my homegirl who like got a friend group of homegirls and she was like, I'm going to go hang out with them.

Did she bail on you for the bras? Well, it's fine. For the ladies? It was all good. I think it was like totally meant to happen. When I lived in LA, I didn't make one friend the entire time. Wow. And I just came back.

I was just like sat, just sat around, just went into work, came home and just like. Where'd you work? I was writing for a TV show. So I would just take an Uber to the Paramount lot, fucking just go back home and just fucking sit. I did not do shit. When did you live there?

Like 2017, 16 or 17. You were only there for like a year, right? Yeah, it was like a couple six-month stints out there that I would go out, stay in an Airbnb. Moving to a new city is hard. I moved to New York during COVID and I like would spend my entire day just sitting in

my room crying. Did you cry a lot when you moved here? Oh yeah, a lot. For real? A lot. For real? Yeah, big time. Dude, I love crying.

I would cry. I would ride my bike while crying. I love that. Listening to Nirvana. I swear to God. Dude, I would have loved to see that. On multiple occasions this happened. It was flying by.

Is that Lil Sass? What's wrong? It was rolling off my eyes. Because I was like, dude, I don't know anyone. I don't know one person in this city. And I lived on St. Mark's, which is like a huge going out city. And I'd be like, it would be like 10 p.m. on Friday. And I'd be walking to go get like a big ass pint of ice cream.

And there would be like thousands of people just like raging on my street. And you're like right outside my door. So alone. Yeah. It's crazy how alone you can feel. You guys want to hang out with? Yeah. It is crazy.

You can. You feel alone as fuck in new cities. And it's like people are everywhere. But you're just're just alone yesterday i literally had to just go inside i was like sick of seeing new faces dude i didn't want so many people here i didn't want to say it because you seemed pretty up on time square that is like the worst place in the world yeah yeah there's like an evil energy seriously time square is we used to live right near time square like i have to walk home to get there and dude it was miserable it's like hard it's like it's like depressing too yeah it's yeah it's draining it's like a really draining

experience to like you're now i have to look at your face yeah'm learning all these new people's faces. Too many faces. Too much processing. It's really tough living there. Living anywhere in that area is hard. You want to see what pants I'm wearing, Sass? I got a feeling

what pants you're wearing. I'm going to go ahead and assume that those are bird dogs. I'm fucking wearing bird dogs. I got a pair what pants you're wearing. I'm going to go ahead and assume that those are bird dogs. I'm fucking wearing bird dogs. I got a pair of bird dogs. They got a tiny pocket. They also sell some shorts now. Bro, bird dogs are crazy, dude. You got to get the shorts.

They got the tiny inseam. They got sweet ass pants. You can wear them when it's cold. You can wear it when it's hot. And now you can get a Yeti tumbler a free yeti tumbler if you use promo code sun that's a 90 value 90 worth of tumbler in your pocket a yeti tumbler that's expensive and you know what i will say is i we're here we're doing uh barstools most dangerous games currently and i will say i did not pack one pair of underwear i've just been wearing bird dogs every single day because they have the underwear built in. They got the, they got the fucking spandex built in

and I wear those constantly. I only wear bird dogs. They're the most comfortable thing I've ever worn. I mean, they're a necessity for the summer. And he's not lying. Bird dogs, the only bottoms you need, you will not take these things off. I promise you. Bird dogs. The only bottoms you need. You will not take these things off. I promise you. It's hardcore.

My thing in LA was I had like a big inferiority complex where I was like, dude, these people are so much fucking cooler than I am. Like these people are fucking cool. They know people. They're probably fucking famous doing like sweet ass shit and fucking. Yeah. But a lot of people, maybe I'm wrong. I feel like a lot of people out there are famous and like no one knows why they're famous. Yeah.

Yeah. I think there's also like TikTok dancers. Yeah. A like a lot of people out there are famous and no one knows why they're famous. They're just like TikTok dancers. A lot of insecurity in general out there. Everybody's kind of insecure. I don't know. You live there longer than I. Do you get any offers to join a house? What's the house called?

The hype house? The sway house? The sway house. The weed house? Delta 8 house? The sway house. I don't know if either of them are. The weed house. I was going to. Delta aid house. Bad house. The shit house. Did you, were you in that sketch with Noel with the, what was it?

You did some sketches with Noel. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Were you in the one with the house? What was it called? Maybe. I forget. I don't think so.

I did that. Okay. Yeah. That's why I was wondering. But yeah, he had a house where it's just like a bunch of losers and we all sleep on like bunk beds. Oh, no, I didn't do that. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Oh, no, Nate was in it. That's what it was. Oh, okay. Would Vines have had houses? They did, didn't they? Yeah, it was called 1600 Vine. It was like in the heart of Hollywood and like Lele Pons lived there, all those fucking people. It was like a whole street. It was on Vine. 1600 Vine. It was in the heart of Hollywood. Lele Pons lived there. All those fucking people. It was on Vine.

1600 Vine. That's fucking hilarious. That's so cringy. Were they all just in there creating? Yeah. Or was it just a fuckfest? Yeah, it had to have been a fuckfest. The Slam Mansion. What's Lele Pons up to you guys you guys in touch i

actually met her i was on uh jeff's barber shop oh they cut my hair that's dope and i was like his whole thing is like he brings like at least he was bringing like someone who you like shit on yeah yeah and then he brought lele pons in then she was really nice that's fucked up um he was trying to Z-way you. Right? I didn't let him get to me. Do you think we could Z-way people? Do you think that's possible?

Or do you think she only has that super power? Just bring people on and make them real uncomfortable about their past. About inconsistencies in their own life. I wouldn't enjoy that at all. No part of me would like that. I don't know how she gets guests, but she does. Who? Z-way? Yeah, she gets guests on her show. She's in a Showtime show would like that. I don't know how she gets guests, but she does. Who? Z-Way? Yeah. She gets guests on her show. She's like a showtime show now. Yeah, I don't know. That would suck.

I mean, I guess it's probably good publicity. And it's probably healthy. Just calling people out for being racist and shit like that. Yeah, that's healthy. Yeah. Someone calls her out and then it'll never show her show will fail. Dude, Sass, let me get a sip of your water, bro. Well, it's always those people that are like constantly calling people out that you find out are like they

murdered someone 10 years ago they were involved in a brutal massacre dude if she massacred someone she she's in for a rude awakening people don't care about that though we're gonna find out if z-way fucking kill people yeah you get in less trouble for murdering someone than someone pulling up tweets from 2014. Right? Are you just seeing the nutrition facts on those? Yeah, I was trying to see how many cows are up in here. Dude, you can eat. You're a good eater.

I'm hungry, yeah. Why don't you have some more of your snacks? I'm so cute. Get some more snacks. Thanks, Dad. I want you to have all your snacks. I'm trying to get huge. Are you dirty?

Balkan right now? Yeah. It's the season right in the summer. Why are you lifting? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you said you're doing a lot of pushups.

I do a lot of working out. Like, um, just cause I want to, like we're young, like fucking, I, I want to see if I can get a six pack before I die.

I'm 27. Oh, nice. Nice. I'm like, why not just max out my body? So I definitely work out a lot now. You said before you die, you want to get a six pack?

Yeah. I'm like, let's see how far I can take this. And, you know, because it will regress at some point. Oh, totally. I feel like you can't. It's not not like you could just keep on pushing it like an 80 year old can just be like, I'm going to try and get my six pack. But I think as a kid, I was I would always look at like the jock kids and be like that's just not for me like i can't do but i

actually find that um it's a great way to manage stress working out oh yeah definitely that and just furiously beating off yeah just like beating off all the time you beat an awful lot on these tours actually don't jerk off anymore really save it all for my girlfriend that's so nice of you so that is anytime i go to anytime I go to a hotel, I jerk off like 17 times a day. Because that's all there is to do. You just throw on something on the TV. Jerk off, pause the TV, jerk off again.

I'm not saying I don't want to, but I owe it to her. Save the batch. That's love, dude. That's love, man. Did she convince you or you were just like, I'm going to retain this shit? I've read a lot about like semen retention and um it's just i mean it feels good but it is kind of a waste of time and i always feel depressed after i jerk off really oh it's

like this level of post-coital malaise you're just yeah just a little bit bummed out yeah dude but what about that euphoric feeling of coming though true coming is that's the trade-off i know dude coming is fucking sick just feeling it i guess you just have to wait like when you feel the it traveling from your balls out out the spout so what how does that work Are your balls just like big as fuck now? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

That's awesome. I might try that. Right? I want some big ass balls. I have to wear my underwear backwards so that my balls fill up where my ass would be. That would be so fucking funny. Underwear for dudes with big balls and no butt you have a booba and it's all balls a boob a fat upper ball fuba fat lower ball area a fulba dude i i talked to someone and i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say their name because this

is so disgusting but they said when they jerk off in hotel rooms, they sit at a chair and just skied onto the floor, just like underneath the desk. Oh, that's like really scummy. That's so, it's so, it's so wrong.

It's a wrong. And I think if I, it discolors the rug, the carpet. Yeah. And there's something in there and whoever's working isn't, I'm sure not fucking getting under the nooks and crannies like that. No way.

They're not paid enough to do shit like that i don't know and i i really think that it would ruin this person's career if people found out that they do this i want to know who it is i can't tell you dude but yeah don't say i can't tell you this is this is damning information they work at barstool yeah and this is the worst thing that you could hear about someone oh really they work at barstool i know dude fuck you're going through all the faces in your head being like, who jerks off? And that's why we got to get this. Who's the floor jerker? The floor popper. And that's why we need to get into retention.

That's why we need to start retaining. Yeah, us men, we need to go back. What'd you read in your studies about it? You said you read a lot about it. I mean, here's the funny part is the semen that doesn't get ejaculated. It just absorbs back into your bloodstream. We just have cum. Cum blood?

I just have cum coursing through my veins. Really? I feel fucking unstoppable. Do you feel like you have more tea now? Are your workouts a little more intense? Yeah, I think so, actually. I think that's a thing. I know swimmers do that.

They're not allowed to come for like a month. It's amazing what, yeah, that discipline can do. Yeah. Like just first of all, the discipline and then the actual like health benefits of not coming. Yeah. But also not coming is bad for you at the same time. Right. Yeah.

Well, I try to like, you know, see my girlfriend pretty often. Yeah. Well, yeah, you got to get your fuss off. Are the loads more opaque oh yeah bad or two doesn't you get more of a like uh trajectory on them too everything more pressurized everything just give us the full run everything works properly yeah i feel like jerking off is like here's the analogy okay you can eat a piece of candy right you're gonna get sugar but that sugar is processed sugar so it's gonna like fuck spike your shit yeah you can eat a piece of fruit though get that same amount of sugar but the fruit has carbs in it so it's gonna like uh it'll balance it out at least or

release delayed release or whatever like throughout the day so that's like the thing it's going to like, it'll balance it out. At least or release delayed release or whatever, like throughout the day. So that's like the thing. It's like jerking off is like eating candy and having actual sex is like, you know, because you're also jerking off. You're just sitting there. You're not like physically doing anything besides using your hand. That's why we need to having sex. You're like kissing, changing the radio.

Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Bumping for it. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Bumping forehead. Give it a shot. I mean, I'm going to quit jerking. Do you have a significant other in your life?

No. Okay. Just Roan. Well, yeah, I mean, you should be like, I'm not going to jerk off till I get a girlfriend.

He'll have a girlfriend tomorrow. That might take a long time. Why? No, you're funny, dude. You can get any girl you want. Literally. I'm just so focused on my career.

Wow. It's balanced. I don't have time for coming right now. You need to make time for it. Barely even have time for sleeping. Dude, I need to get discipline. I'm trying to get some discipline. I actually might give this a go.

Like a week. Yeah, just give it a shot. It's not good. And I think the people who like it love it. Like the people who talk about it, like rave about it. A lot of people really like jerking off. But a lot of people really like not jerking off. But a lot of people like keeping it stuffed in their dick.

This hasn't been like a thing forever. Like I've definitely given my dick a hard time. Yeah. You're a merciless. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, and it's just one less thing to think about. Like I'm always thinking about it too. Yeah. Like sometimes's just one less thing to think about. I'm always thinking about it, too. Sometimes I'll fold it up into my butt.

Yeah. Fuck yourself. Yeah, I can't do that anymore. Damn, that's whack that you can't do that anymore. You must have a fucking sword down there. Oh, dude. No, it's just my butt's really close to my balls. You have a really low butt.

Yeah. It curls around. A low set ass. It's cool. I have a low set ass. Don't even fucking sweat it. It is, but it is like the mindset of just being like, I'm going to give myself a little treat.

It's the same as candy. Or like, oh, why not have this like little treat? I'll edge myself. I'll go full edge mode. I don't watch porn either anymore. I stopped doing doing that and that's actually been really helpful that actually makes sense um porn's kind of weird it is it's like i mean it's great if you're trying to snap one off but i can't believe there's that many people that do it i can't believe there's that many porn stars or people that are just like just like film themselves fuck it i don't think really it isn't

like it's only fans is the move now? Yeah. What do you mean? For the ladies? For the folks who are, for the creators? Yeah. I don't know why anyone would. I think they don't really make, didn't like Mia Khalifa come out and say she made like

$8,000 in like her entire porn career? Yeah. Something like that. It's got to be super predatory. Oh yeah. Big time. Big time. But you can't think about where the hamburger's coming from when you're eating it.

No. You can't think about the death of the cow. you know what i mean yeah it's real yeah i'd love to get up on my discipline who taught you all this um feels like a shaolin monk type like sat down or some i think it was like really on my own volition like i was like i no so i stopped drinking and then i was like fuck and then just having time to like think and like reflect and i was like what what's some other shit in my life that I'm doing that I could do without? Or like that isn't really productive at all. Like jerking off is like, you know. Did you come up with anything else on the list? Was there anything else that you cut out?

Drinking, snapping off. Such a funny video games. I don't really do that anymore. I huge into zelda like i would like it was definitely zelda was awesome you played on the switch yeah yeah it was definitely an escape though i was talking to some dude about that last breath of the wild is my favorite that was one of the best games i've ever played yeah it's my favorite that was actually one of the only rpgs i ever played it's so fucking cool and fun yeah so you didn't play elden ring no no it's not as good as it's it's way too hard.

I keep replaying Breath of the Wild because it's so fun. It's such a good game. Yeah. Damn. You guys wouldn't get that, though. I know, dude. I feel so fucking left out.

This is like Barstool, so they just watch sports and shit always. Chill, dude. Don't make me feel like an outsider, dude. Jocks. Yeah. Fuck the jocks. Clearly the farthest thing.

This is a revolution. A nerd-olution. Now I want to talk to you about credit karma. Sorry for interrupting the interview, but this shit is important. Credit karma is important if you want to earn credit card reward points and if you want to get linked up to a credit card that is right for you. You want to apply for a credit card and embarrass yourself because you're

not qualified for the one you thought you'd be? No. Credit Karma takes all of that out the way. They're going to link you with a credit portfolio and a profile that's going to show all the offers that are tailored to your financial situation. Look, I'll say I'm 21 years old. I'm pretty young. I was worried about, I was worried about my credit score. I mean, it's like a, it's a young, when you're in your mid twenties, your early twenties, that's something you're worried about. You're worried about your credit score. But then I got credit karma and I worry no more. He stopped worrying. You could tell dude, he's aging in reverse because there's no reason for him to stress credit karma can compare cards for 100 free and it will not affect your credit scores

god damn that shit is sweet man you don't want to kibosh your fucking your credit when you need it the most credit karma create your own karma i mean i i would give up snapping off i've already given up zelda and you know snapping off. Try it, dude. I don't know if I can give up the booze. Really? Yeah. Wait, why'd you quit drinking?

Beard gross. I was just drinking too much. Like COVID definitely turned me into like fucking that guy from Trailer Park Boys. What's his name? Randy?

No, not Randy. Mr. Leahy. Yeah yeah yeah yeah i was definitely drinking i love mr leahy i am the liquor i basically can't it came to the point where i was like okay you can either drink and that's gonna be your life or you can either not drink and then you can have that life like you you have to decide okay i'm kind of like an all or nothing person and i was like i just i don't want to die at you know 33 yeah cirrhosis or some shit damn dude you're a thoughtful ass dude bro thanks man yeah you fucking try to be you think your shit through i like to think yeah it's not too much though sometimes you got to turn it off yeah sometimes you get

does it get a little spooked right spooked at your own thoughts yeah too many faces you know delta a thinking you got to hit that right around the delta eight or now You get a little spooked. Spooked at your own thoughts. Too many faces. Too much Delta-8. You got to hit that right around the Delta-8. That's the next hurdle. Really? I want to get to the point where I don't need anything to do anything. Do you like smoke before you go on stage? Definitely not.

I was going to say, I was actually curious about that. That sounds like a fucking nightmare. I don't do anything before I go on stage. I've tried stuff. I've do anything before I go on. I've tried stuff. I've tried coke before I go on stage. It made me way less funny than I thought I was going to be. You can usually tell when people are on coke on stage. Do comics do that a lot?

Comics will do anything. I think. Really? Yeah. I feel like doing something that would mess with your mind kind of would take you out of the optimum performance. would mess with your mind kind of like would take you out of the optimum performance. Yeah.

Last night was kind of my wake up call. Like I'm probably going to not get as drunk before doing stand up. It was a little bit too much. Because it was like embarrassing. I was embarrassed. Really? Yeah. You weren't embarrassed on like the live show when we all got drunk and we filmed it and

put it out to all the people. No, not at all. Yeah. So what was different about this that made you more embarrassed? I couldn't remember my jokes. Yeah, that's bad. It took me like 30 seconds of saying the same, I said the same

intro to my joke like 10 times. And I was looking around. That's good. It's learning. And I was looking around and I was like, these people are all waiting for me to continue this joke and I don't know it. Yeah. That's scary.

There's also a fuck a ton of people talking. Okay. Which really was throwing me off. I hate that. Yeah. I just said, shut the fuck up. Yeah. But it wasn't my show.

Okay. It was like, I was just doing a guest spot. I feel like you would still say, shut the fuck up. If someone's talking through your, even if it's a guest spot. Just start roasting. The girls are usually pretty easy to roast. Yeah. Yeah.

But I was like so caught up in trying to remember this joke. Actually, guys are easy to roast too. Yeah. Humans in general, really. Humans are easy to roast. We're all goofy looking motherfuckers. Restable. We all have some goofy ass shit about us.

Yeah. I feel like, I mean, it's a way different different thing but i did rap battles for a long time oh yeah he's a rap battle legend that's fire two-time world champ but i would like really yeah yeah and so but there would be nights where i would like drink beforehand and like starting off i'd be like oh dude i'll get fucked up right before this it won't matter but then there would be nights where i would drink beforehand and like the hangover would cause me to forget the shit in the moment and it's like terrifying. It's like the worst.

Rap battling sounds way scarier with that because you have like three minutes to say a billion words. Yo, bro. But yo, they do rap battles

without beats now. They cut out the beatboxer. You gotta have the metronome in your head. Yeah, exactly, dude. That's kind of cool. It's whack that they cut out the beatboxer, though.

That is whack. You know what I mean? Fuck that shit. Yeah, like we need to bring's kind of cool. It's whack that they cut out the beatboxer, though. That is whack. You know what I mean? Fuck that shit. Yeah, like, we need to bring back that. We should be job creators and bring back the beatboxer. Yo, dude. Split the lips to her. How long you been beatboxing for?

Probably since a kid. Damn. I had these beats in my head since I was a little shouty. Shouty. A shorty. You ooze talent. Thank you. It is. I feel like there are a decent amount of, or like, a lot

of guys I know that are beatboxers, at some of the rap battles, there'd be like beatbox competitions. They'd have a beatbox battle too. Have you ever seen those? Uh-uh. That's cool though. It is. They're like, nah, nah, nah. Damn, you're actually really good at it you practice that

you practice that in the mirror before you came here no no I definitely know I practice but I'm always like just like just like beats

I would be doing that if I could do it in the beatbox battles too like the dudes would always like create their own drops and they'd be like beatbox and then they'd be like

that shit's whack your shit's late like sprinkle in drops dude you still uh you still spitting at all not really anymore dude i remember what was the song was it titties on my snapchat yeah dude that song i was in eighth grade when you put that out and i was in class and i was listening to it and I was like crying laughing. That's hilarious. Thank you, dude. Yeah. That was so fucking funny.

Titties to my Snapchat. It's fun to make music. It is. But I'm like, I'm always like, shit, should I pursue comedy 100% or should I pursue music 100%? But then I'm like, why can't I do both? But then I'm like, it's just like a- It is whack that you can't do both.

Right. But I do think you can get like I think we're going towards a world where like people can do both I know that girl Nikki or that woman

Nikki Glaser kind of got flamed for like putting out a song she's like trying to have like a serious music career and shit like that oh like a real song

I think she she put out like a Bob Saget song or some shit like that a song about Bob Saget dying or something like that she has a show about that I think about her on E or something moving to Nashville song about Bob Saget dying or something like that. She has a show about that, I think.

About her moving to Nashville to become a real singer or something. Yeah. Really? She's a pretty successful comedian. Oh, yeah. Isn't she getting

the Kardashians time slot? Something like that, yeah. Yeah, it's insane. That's surprising. I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, I was like, oh, shit, too. But I feel like people were like,

you should be able to do both. Didn't Eddie Murphy have a pretty good song? My girl wants to party all the time. Well, look at Donald Glover. Yeah. He's a little dicky. He's a little dicky. Yeah, I guess he doesn't do stand up, bud.

He probably tried it though. Probably. Yeah. I think every human being should try stand up at least once. Yeah. There's like things, there should be a checklist, like Earth checklist, like shit you need to do before you fucking leave. Jump out of a plane.

You think everyone should do that? Hell no. You got too much testosterone now. You need to start coming again. I think, yeah, I feel like, I mean, what else is the point to be here though, right? Not jumping out of a plane. Do you think it's overrated how scary it is? Do you think people hype that up too much? I don't know. See, because we do it and we enjoy it's overrated how scary it is uh hype that up too

much i don't know see because we do it and we we enjoy it like i love it yeah so like that i kind of like wrestle with that fear and i'm like fuck yeah let's like ride the dragon but i could see it like yeah i enjoy an introverted person or a shy person like my mom she's always like i could never do that i'm like yeah i fucking believe you yeah yeah yeah so i think it is definitely scary and it's probably based on like in some ways what your reward systems have already been set up to like like give you a reward for it like you both probably made videos online like making people laugh before it's like oh like this is like a calling this is like a way i could like fit in in society like making people laugh or whatever that's that's really what it is it's not about

like vanity or like, you know, getting, there's like this huge thing in the, I mean, do you ever get like shit from other comedians? Like you're an internet guy. Yeah. Yeah.

Which I don't get, like I get it to an extent, but I'm also like, dude, we're here to make these fucking people laugh. Like we're not here to be like, yeah, there's not this weird,

like, I think people look down on it because a lot of like the biggest stand-up comedians like the traditional ways like they were doing open mics for fucking 45 years and then finally got a spot a club gig it's just different now yeah it's like i didn't have to do that which i get like the like it's like kind of cutting corners but also it's like i probably wouldn't have done stand-up if i had to do open mics for 10 years well here's the thing is like and then those dudes will be like um or dudes or gals but it's mostly dudes yeah definitely we're like man i should have got on instagram and it's like yeah dude it's free you should have you still can't even like you can get on any of the things still there's a lot of people too who are like against

like they don't even want to try it and it's like well you're just being like it's dumb don't do that when you think you know everything you might as well just like go live in alaska and just get the fuck away because that's like what what else do you have to do here like if you don't have an open mind you're not willing to learn yeah or like try new things or like adapt you're fucked yeah you have to try shit yeah you have to and if i if i was like a gristled old older person in any field and i saw young people coming in and doing it a different way i'd be like fuck i need to like adapt maybe readjust how i'm approaching this yeah and i think it's such a big uh like people are shy away from it so much because the fear of failure is is just like so

big for just like a regular person like that's why like talking in front of a group of people is a fear because i think people are just worried that they're going to fail at that everybody's going to see them fail yeah i think with i think it's stand up i mean if you start off doing open mics i think something to realize is you are 1000 going to fail as does every other person that goes on stage yeah no one laughs at open mics no you're just% going to fail as does every other person that goes on stage. Yeah. No one laughs at open mics. No. You're just basically going up there to get comfortable on stage.

Yeah. Or just the faster you learn that like failure is just like a part of life. Yeah. It's like the healthiest thing you can do is fail quickly. Yeah. And also bombing.

This shit's so deep as fuck, bro. Am I off Delta 8 right now? Bombing is kind of funny too. Like afterwards, you're like, well, that was fucking terrible. You realize you're a human. Yeah. You oh wow i'm mortal yeah dude are those is that an endless bag i know i feel like it's like a magician's bag and you're just going full arm deep in those shits they're just going on forever they're bomb are they actually yeah we turned you

out on those so fast at first you're you were like, you didn't know. And now you're licking the bottom of the bag. I finished two. Let's go, Shane. Hell yeah. We could get you another one, bro. All you could eat. That's how it is at Barstool, bro.

I got to get these two done now. Barbecue and Cheddar Blast. Cheddar Blast is is gonna fuck up your fingers I know you're just loading shit in your body I can't believe you've eaten so much today I'm so hungry dude I went to a show at Brooklyn Mirage last night

I can't eat this I will have this it was alright it was cool I don't even think I noticed that the DJ was playing the entire time did you do some molly? they they i was offered i was offered copious amounts i was actually given out like like uh tic tacs like pretending that they were like molly like uh and uh i got like surrounded by security

i was like trying to do it or like they were out toys i was like trying to do it on the low and they fucking like kept on like finding us at different places like following us and like watching. They didn't say anything. They just like got really close and I would just be like

chill, chill, chill, chill. That's hilarious. That's so funny. Duck away from it. Damn. It was a good ass time though. A little hungover today though but that happens dude.

That happens to the best of us. It does. Yeah dude. Or actually not your ass anymore bro. Not anymore don't miss it you don't miss like feeling terrible the next day and just like sweating from every orifice because i would just start drinking again to just cover that up like you would yeah you just jump back in and ride it again yeah damn dude what have you been getting into in pitt in Pittsburgh? So all my family's back there. I pretty much just hang out with them.

That's sweet, dude. It's kind of easy. You don't have to worry about. You got a big family? Yeah. That's fucking sweet. One of probably 17 cousins. Holy shit.

We have a lot of cousins. What the fuck? A lot of dudes? Yeah. It's a healthy. It's a pretty healthy mix. You guys wrestle and shit? We beat each other up.

Yeah. We might throw an elbow here and there. Yeah. You guys wrestle and shit? We beat each other up. Yeah. We might, you know, throw an elbow here and there. Yeah. Like dick punches and shit like that? Oh yeah. Ball taps. Oh yeah. Nuggies.

That's sweet, dude. But we just, we kind of like very active, like out in the woods, looking for shit, fucking shooting guns, making fires, getting into trouble. Really? Fucking each other. Yes, dude. Stuff like that. That's a little bit more South.

That's a little more West Virginia, but I'm sure people in Pittsburgh fuck their cousins. It's not like nobody in Pittsburgh is fucking their cousins. How many, so you're either mom or dad's family must have been big as fuck. Yeah, my mom is one of six and my dad's one of four. Holy shit. So got a lot of cousins. Yeah, you got to roll with the cousins.

I feel as I get older, all I'm trying to do is spend time with like my family. Hanging out with your cousins is awesome. If you're close with your cousins, that's like the, that's why like Thanksgiving is like my favorite holiday. Cause I love just like hanging out with my cousins. Right.

Yeah. And it's nice to know that it's like, they're your friends, but it's like, you're related by blood. So they can't leave you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not like your LA friends who are just going to ditch related by blood so they can't leave you yeah yeah yeah

they're not like your la friends who are just gonna ditch you for a bunch of girls exactly we're going to tau your cousins are never gonna go to tau no your cousins are never going to boa no never gonna oh my god they're not gonna catch yeah they're not gonna hit up catch dude or you could hit catch while you're in New York too. Oh shit. They have one here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd have to wait. I'm going on a, on, on a Sunday actually on a date, taking my wife. It's her birthday. Nice.

You're married. Yes. That's awesome. Super married. How old are you? 34. Okay. Yeah.

I'm old. Wow. I thought you were like 25. Really? Yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm old as fuck. He didn't tell me how old he was until we were like 25 really yeah yeah dude i'm old as he didn't tell

me how old he was until we were like two months into the podcast oh wow i like contemplated leaving it doing the thing what you look great it's because i've been jerking off and drinking so much dude i'm telling you it's my secret are you irish yeah okay or a little but i feel like irish people age terribly like a irish person like age is like milk dude irish people i have some irish italian slovak and belgian in me okay so i think it's a mutt you know how like uh mutt dogs live longer same way yeah irish italian slovak and belgian not slow but definitely irish italian like german english yeah fuck yeah i feel like that's healthy gene variants yeah the uh recessive genes

or the dominant genes take over. What do you know about that shit, dude? What do you know about gene variants? Small shaft disorder. Small shaft disorder. I suffer. Do you have a micro penis? Micro's a little...

It's a little generous? Isn't micro penis less than two inches? I'm not sure. Micro's a little... It's a little generous? Yeah. Yeah. What is micro? Isn't micro penis less than two inches? I'm not sure. Hard? Less than two inches hard. Whoa.

Yeah. Damn, bro. There's probably people out here listening right now that are micro'd up, though. And like... Trap. I love you.

Like, don't even worry about it. Oh, that's a tough battle. Don't even worry about it. It is tough. But they probably like compensate and they're probably like so great in other parts of their life. Yeah.

Where they're just like massive assholes. Giving. Yeah. Yeah. They totally take it. The negative way. They're just fuckheads.

They suck. But like how Daredevil he was like sweet at other shit because he couldn't see. True. The dudes with micro penises probably are like real like rich or.

They're probably good at taking dick up their ass. Yeah. They take dick up their ass real good. Maybe that's what they're good at. See, I knew you, once you started snacking,

you just needed a couple of snacks in your system. Then we could talk about fucking up each other's asses. We do have sobriety podcasts in here though. We have people for you to chill with when you, when you come to on your sober tip. That'd be dope. Yeah. Our boy, Jerry, frienderry friend of jerry sobs yeah he's fully soaps oh okay he was on crack though it was crack crack crack and heroin i'm not that i don't i still smoke kush crack i still smoke full crack but yeah i just can't drink anymore yeah dude it

is tough i wonder what those people who who like went all the way to the brink and uh now they're sober i wonder what they think of people who like just don't drink or like people who gave up alcohol and never like really hit rock bottom i feel like alcohol is the worst one yeah it's pretty bad bio like i mean obviously like not like crack like crack is obviously worse than alcohol but I think crack hits like live longer than alcoholics. Like I think crack like kind of embalms you and like opens up part of your brains. And I think alcohol just closes your brain down for business.

Alcohol can really fuck you up. Yeah. Waking up like super hungover is a terrible shaking. Oh yeah. The anxiety after anxiety. Yeah. Anxiety. Yes.

The hank sees the hang. Z's. That shit's terrible, dude. It's so it's the fucking worst. Hangxiety. Yeah. Hangxiety. Yes. The hangxies. The hangxies. That shit's terrible, dude. That shit sucks. It's the fucking worst. All right. Yeah. Well, should we wrap it up? Yeah.

We're done. Do you have anything you want to plug? Plug your freaking dates, bro. I want to plug my shows tonight. All right. When is this coming? This is not going to be in time. Okay.

I want to plug my shows just in general. It's NickColetti.com. You can see all the tour dates there. I also want to plug my podcast with Nate. Yes it's called friendship is kind fuck yes it's on youtube and soundcloud you can just look up friendship is kind and find the latest episode so those are my two plugs fuck yeah hell yeah dude thanks for coming on thank you i appreciate it for sure peace