Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 63 - Cream of Wheat

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 63 - Cream of Wheat -- Sas & Rone discuss meeting some troops, lifting, stand-up dates, opening for the Lumineers, movie talk, beef with the Bussin' boys, Boston sports, & much more -- Full episodes also available on YouTube -- Merch available at store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dadYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, ready? Gay guys are the hottest girls for sure. Oh, yeah. It's a given. All right, ready?

Yeah, yeah. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is Memorial Day. So we're going to give a big thanks to the troops. Double-handed salute to the troops. We actually just got the honor of meeting some troops abruptly. Yeah, they force-fed us.

And I can see why people steal valor. They raided the office. Those fucking uniforms opened doors. they just were loitering outside smoking cigarettes they wanted to meet el presidente and frank the tank but instead they got to meet roan and some other dude they didn't even know who i was no yes they did we could talk unmitigated shit on them right now because they don't even know we have a podcast but also they definitely knew who you were i don't think so you pulled up and they were all like adam no they're like that's the boy from the rough and rowdy they'll do they they all knew you they were like

why weren't you at rough and rowdy this last week why do we even have a navy anymore what are those dudes doing and why are they dressed like that i don't know little school boys get on that i'm not trying to get on this fucking you're not trying to assassin ron hate the military dude i i just uh i love the military i gave them the tour wait did you hit the gym today what's going on i hit the gym and i'm off the beers are you serious well as of yesterday i'm not drinking anymore until friday holy fuck because i am so fucking fat like it's not even funny i saw a picture i was looking through the the pictures from uh the barcelos most dangerous game and i saw one of me that i like i thought it was photoshopped not even funny. I saw a picture. I was looking through the pictures from the Barstool's Most Dangerous Game

and I saw one of me that I like, I thought it was photoshopped. I was horrified. Was it a, was your top off? I'm back on keto. Yeah?

Yeah. Were you ever on keto before? Senior year of high school. And what were the results? I got down to 11% body fat. That's bullshit. I swear to God. How did you even test the body fat?

Because I had one of those scales that does it. Really? Yeah, my sister has one. One of those pieces of like the metal forceps that just pinch your love handle? Have you ever seen those? No, no, no. That's how they used to do it back in the day.

I saw, oh, and I saw Sass with his shirt off. That's not true. How was that? Unless you had like binoculars on, you didn't. He had like five production assistants standing around him with towels. I didn't ask them to do that. They just did that. See, he actually did.

Yeah, I did. He would like take a half step and they were all like shuffling down the line like this. Because I was like, what are we doing? I was like, what's going on? I don't know. We can't talk about any of it. But he looked good. He looked good.

You don't have to lie to me. I look terrible. I'm so fucking fat. The way you talk about it. I think I'm like 30% body fat right now. now no i thought that you would have been like fat albert i can't even look myself in the mirror like yesterday i was sweating and i took my shirt off while i was going to bed i put it back on because i was like i was like i can't look like i don't even want like the odds of someone from outside looking at what if my sleep paralysis demon sees me yeah i

don't want them to see how bad I am. Just horrified. I think it's because I've just been drinking. I think if I just don't drink this week, I'll lose a lot of weight. I'm with you. I think every day that you don't drink, I think you can lose a pound. And every day that you cook for yourself at home all day, I think you can also lose a pound. Yeah, that's out of the question.

So not drinking is the best. Muscle Maker Grill. What's that? That's my go-to spot when i'm on grind mode no free ads but uh what what's i'll give a free ad what's going on at they rule at the mmg i just get some edamame and some uh chicken yeah yeah fuck yeah what is there any type of greens or anything or that's yeah edamame yeah that's greens all right mixing a broccoli one broccoli here and there i find it i feel like if you want to lose weight you've got to be in a caloric deficit right yeah if i really wanted to if i really go all out which i'm not sure if i'm going

to yet but this is my second day back in the gym um i will eat just chicken and broccoli and i've done it before and i literally didn't have a snack for like six months. I would just buy a rotisserie chicken and I would just rip pieces off of it and eat that for, for a snack. It is actually a good snack. It's a great snack. It's pretty slimy though. And I lost all of my body fat in like a month. Did you put it all back on? As soon as I went to college, I had like one beer and I gained it all back. The beers are what do it to you, but you also have body dysmorphia, my friend. Oh no, not anymore. This isn have body dysmorphia my friend oh no not anymore this isn't body this isn't body dysmorphia this is real life you are the girl who's like i'm so

fat no no this is like shredded and fucking like shaving a carrot with her it used to be like that but now this is real life i'm so fucking fat you're fat your arms you got fat arm i asked mike i asked mike i said do i i said does this uh shirt make me look fat and he goes i think you're just getting fat dude he's just bullying you no he was being serious and i respected his honesty yeah yes what uh what'd you do at the gym today obviously biceps or and triceps no no triceps today really that's just a natural swell? Yeah. Holy fuck. I did,

yeah, I did back and trot, back and bars. A little pull day? Yeah. Tomorrow's legs, which I'm probably going to skip. I feel like you have to be in a caloric deficit,

but I find it impossible to have any idea what I ate all day. I never know what I ate in the past day. No, I was texting KB. I texted KB because I haven't,

I mean, I used to go to the gym all the time, like in like the summer. Last summer was the most jacked i ever been and then the fall i got i was okay but then i got covid in like december and i just like never went back to the gym that's such a bitch ass excuse no no no no no i i it wasn't even like it wasn't because of covid it's like when you go for a long time and you miss one day and you're like, oh, so I could just not do this. Then you're like, I'm never going back to the gym. You'd need to hit a low.

So COVID had nothing to do with it? No, but COVID was the reason I didn't go. And then I never went back after that. But COVID is like five days. Not when I actually had it. The day I was released from quarantine was the day that they announced that it's no longer a 14-day quarantine yeah you're the last one yes i was you're like the dude who paid off his student loans and then all the student loans got forgiven yeah fuck this yeah exactly why was i in lockdown exactly but uh you like that's not why you just had it was a good excuse but now you have your

motivation back and i think a lot of people have their motivation back like uh the start of summer memorial day weekend is like the New Year's. Because it's like you're no longer wearing the sweat. You don't really know how fat you are until you take off the sweatshirt. Because the sweatshirt does a great job of covering it. It's incredible. Who invented the

sweatshirt? I know. It's so kind to the male titty. And you go out somewhere and you're sitting down and the shirt's touching your stomach. And you like go out somewhere and you're like sitting down and you're like the shirt's touching your stomach. Or you have the slimmest arm ever and like the fattest upper titty fat ever. Oh, I wish I had fat upper titty fat. I have fat lower titty fat.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I have terrible posture. Like when dudes, you think that's why? I need to lose 10 pounds. When dudes like wear sleeveless and like you see like the creases of the muscle, like the creases of fat going in this way instead of like a crease of a muscle going up that way. That's my calling card. That's my specialty. Um, it's gross. You know, this weekend I'm about to go to a, uh, a bachelor party where in, uh, in Avalon, New Jersey

and, uh, and you're invited. I can't go. You haven't even heard the details. I'm going to be in D.C. You don't even know when it is yet. Speaking of which, I'm going to be in Arlington at the Arlington Draft House on Friday night and Saturday night. There's still tickets left to most of the shows,

but they're selling like hotcakes. They're selling like crazy. They're hard to get. They're hard to get. And come for the comedy. Stay for the menu. They have a big pretzel there. Arlington Draft House,

they do it right. A fucking huge pretzel. They do it right. A fucking huge pretzel. They do it right. It's like a 45 pound pretzel. There's actually, the late night shows are going to sell out. The early ones,

there are still tickets left. So do what you want with that information. It's going to be a great time. It's going to be hilarious. I think I'm going to do 30 minutes. Oh, what? Yeah.

That's so much fucking comedy. Right now I've got about 10. So I got to write 20 minutes of jokes this week. It's week gonna be a lot of new stuff what were you uh oh man it's gonna be fun though i'm excited are you scared oh no not really i'll say the one thing i am scared about is that i don't i'm going by myself like i don't have like a i don't have like a team you're not so i don't have my boys with me you don't have like how like bill maher whenever he has a show there's like a dude in the audience planted to like laugh loud as fuck just like now i'm not like andrew schultz rolling up with like 75 of my

closest friends on stage are the boys clicked up that's how philly rappers used to do andrew schultz's team yeah it's like a chief keith concert they all are on stage together that's what like freeway and beanie seagull to do. He brings out his whole crew. That's kind of sick. Yeah. It's definitely a vibe. I don't have enough friends to do that. I know.

And when I was a Philly rapper, I didn't have enough dudes who believed in me as a rapper to stand up. I also would just be like a bunch of mics up there. I texted my friend Bo because he... I texted him like two weeks in advance. I was like, hey, why don't you come to this DC show he knows people in DC and he was like yeah I'll come and I booked a two person hotel

room which didn't matter it was like five dollars more like a two bed instead of Oaking really and he's not coming anymore so now I just got I got two beds now and you spent the extra five you're out five bucks yeah you gotta make him I'm gonna Venmo request you gotta make him hit you back for that five there's actually 10 bucks extra

per night so it was 20 bucks 20 bucks holy shit i want to put him on blast but now you have yeah he's an absolute piece of shit are you gonna go back to the uh the ranch this summer no i'm not allowed back really i don't think i genuinely think they're not i'm not allowed back that's bullshit no like they said like he said i'm not i'm pretty sure they're not gonna let you back you should storm the fucking ranch but also he's not working there this summer oh well fuck them anyway yeah uh have you did you go up this weekend at all did you get any shit uh that you didn't try anything i didn't get to go up i thought that that was your whole plan on like uh after the barstool dangerous game show. It was but I couldn't get any spots. Yeah. I also

didn't really try that hard because I was so exhausted. But like you have this big show coming up. Yeah I'll go up. I'll probably go up this week. I feel like practicing a little bit could have helped. Yeah no I'm gonna go up this week. What are you about to talk about with your new

shit? I don't know. The fucking war? I don't your new shit? I don't know. The fucking war? I don't know. Politics? I don't know. You don't even know? I don't know. I'm going to talk about I'm going to get real political. I think it's about time but I think you should flip the script and go liberal this time. I think that's what I've always been like that.

For real? You know I'm a libtard. Actually no I have seen your likes recently on Twitter. I have people your likes recently on Twitter. Dude, I have people screenshotting my likes and sending them to me and being so disappointed. So disappointed in you. Because you're supporting the dude like Ethan Klein or whatever. Oh, I supported that because that was- Because all your likes are Trisha Paytas.

No, no. I actually hate Ethan Klein. I don't like him at all. I think he sucks. But I did support him in that because that was like he said like he like made like a one second joke being like they should bomb like he was talking about how they're having the nra convention in texas and he was like they should bomb that like a very quick joke and like all these people were like so ethan klein's a

terrorist and he was like dude like lighten the fuck up yeah he's joking but uh people love to take that shit serious my boy keemstar was up in arms yeah but it's like i don't even know how they can take themselves seriously acting like that serious like acting like he like they like they like because you know in their heads they don't believe that he actually thought oh we should bomb the nra convention yeah i feel like a lot of the reactions are like, uh, it's just all stage. It's all like performative. It's just like, this is what I fucking,

or just like, it's like, and I get, I get like, yeah, I get how there's two sides of like, Oh, I don't want them to take my guns.

And Oh, it's like mental health or whatever. But like the one side of people who are like just straight up mad that people are talking about it. Like they're mad that people care that a bunch of kids died i uh like unfollowed dude yeah like what the are you a fucking sociopath i watched the uh beto o'rourke uh like going up to the did you watch that video of him like going up and like talking to all the dudes on stage uh like all the guys in cowboy hats in Texas or whatever. I didn't see that.

It's fucking. I didn't really like keep up with it until like recently. Just that the fact, just the dudes, the dude's voices, like the good old boys in Texas who are all on stage, like defending, being like,

you can't even talk to us about guns. Like, what are you trying to do with some bullshit in a time like this? Tragedy. Dude, the video is so funny maybe we could even just put in the fucking uh the audio can you pull up that audio that just because it fucking uh not to harp on a tragedy but that shit made me fucking laugh yeah i don't

want to talk about it too much because people probably don't want to hear about it all right fuck the audio then no no no we can talk we can put the audio in that's i don't i really don't care that much it just made me giggle i just watched it back a bunch of times it was it was something that kind of pulled me out of the whole situation. There have been just some crazy... Did you see that one tweet where the girl was like, Democrats, you're not old enough to have a gun if you're 18. And then they were like, me in Iraq at 18.

Everyone was like, that's not that good either. Me killing children in Iraq at 18. Me putting permanent psychological brain damage into my own head without even knowing it that i'd never be able to undo yeah me racking up that i won't notice until i have a fucking psychotic breakdown 10 years from now when someone i want to go to a basketball game and hear sneakers is that what does it for now that's Vietnam is that they were here sneakers

yeah because the why were the Viet Cong all in hardwood they all know they were all wearing sneakers that's a thing right the Vietnamese people were like sneakers or something it was something with squeaks and like apparently like a Vietnam veterans go to it's fucked up but if they go to like a bat, like there's so many.

So I've heard some stories about like Vietnam vets going to like basketball games and having like mental breakdowns. Damn. Yeah. Little did the Vietnamese know that all they had to do to beat us was just like have the and one mixtape tour in Saigon. I hope that's true. I think that's true, but I'm probably going to get fact checked on that. So ultimate sass up head up his fucking ass episode. My dad served in Vietnam, bitch.

It sounds funny. They wore loafers. You fucking idiot. Yeah. Did they even have sneakers? I'm picturing them all in Jordans, like high-top Jordans. Just like scuffing their feet. Like scuffing their shit. I don't know.

I don't know if it was. I don't know if they wore sneakers. I just know something was squeaking. That like with then they went to basketball games. I don't know. But speaking of which, the Celtics won. Shout out to Celtics. Shout out to Vietnam vets.

Shout out all vets. Yeah, shout out to the vets. Shout out to Celtics. What is the future line? I don't know. He died in the service. I dived in her cervix. Salute, dude. And salute the future. Shout out all the troops that died in the

service. I dived in her cervix. I mean, he's not lying. He's just a little word association from Pluto. Is it even future? It sounds like it would be like a Flocka line or two chains, maybe. No, I think it's future.

It's got to be future. He dove in her cervix. If the Celtics win the NBA finals, at first I was rooting against them because I'm a Sixers fan and like, fuck the Celtics or whatever. fan and like uh fuck the celtics or whatever but then i realized that barstool's entire like brand and all the money we have is just from like t-shirt sales of like the patriots winning the championships so it's like if we maybe we can start hiring people again maybe that would be sick maybe we could stop getting re like maybe i can stop getting uh audit every time i buy gum at the airport on the company card yeah like hey hey, what's this $2.64 charge? We're tightening our belts around here, folks.

So hopefully the Celtics win the championship and we can fucking... Who are they playing? The Golden State Warriors. Shit. You know any players on that squad? Is that Steph? Yes, bro. Yes, dude.

Who else? You probably know a couple others. Nah, just Steph. Draymond Green? Nah, I don Yes, dude. Who else? You probably know a couple others. Nah, just Steph. Draymond Green? Nah, I don't know who that is. Draymond Green, I think, famously sent a dick pic, leaked a dick pic. And I think that his dick didn't look great. It's a damn shame.

I know. How fucking, how sad is that? He needs a dub. So maybe I'm a Warriors fan now. He could use a dub. Does he get his dick straight? Who was the person that was like DMing Kobe? I saw that this morning.

Jason Tatum. That's a weird move. That's such a fucking lame move, dude. Yeah. I hated that. He's a Celtic. I didn't like that either. And of course, Barstool posted on Twitter and all the vomit comments are like, bro,

why are my eyes sweating? And the person, whoever, i was thinking that exact same thing i hate that shit it's like you're using him for likes and the like he's not gonna see the dm who runs the uh who runs the instagram chuck if if he posted that and his caption was actual tears i need to see the tears oh yeah i need to see a picture of him you can't say actual tears if there weren't actual tears no there wasn't a single tear that's like dude that reminded me of i don't know if you ever saw this the the old screenshot that went around of like someone like it like with like dms from like all the dead rappers yeah he was

like juice world he was like i was just getting started yeah it's like tupac and he's like how are things down there and it was like biggie and was like, I wish I ate apples and oranges. What kind of fucking psychopath spends the time to make that? Yeah. It was. And even just texting it and then like posting it. Yeah. And then having other people post it.

It's just like, oh, dude, Kobe would have loved me. Yeah. Like, I don't know what his like, who this, who was it? Jason Statham. Yeah. Jason Statham, bro. No way. Whoam? Yeah, Jason Statham, bro. No, wait, who was it actually? Jason Statham, bro.

And he was fucking, he was like, it's fucking mental, bro. Kobe would have loved me. It was the, what was he in Drive, dude? What was Jason Statham in? That guy might have watched something with him yesterday. Jason Statham was the bald dude from the Italian job. The transporter. He was in the transporter dude

dude i woke up this morning with like a thousand oh sorry i wasn't i woke up this morning like a thousand bug bites you think it's bed bugs no like i i left my window open oh man did you hear the motorcycles last night yeah what the hell was that brutal like hell's angels had a reunion tour around our neighborhood for seven hours straight. Were they veterans? I don't know. They must have been because people were like cheering and shit. Or is it Pride yet?

When's Pride? Not until July. Is it June or July? It must be June. Yeah, it's June. So maybe it was like they were about to kick off Pride. I don't think gay people are allowed to buy motorcycles. No.

They shouldn't be. That's what they made Vespas for. It's the ultimate vehicle. You can fuck on it while you drive around. You can just slide right in and fucking drive around. What was Jason Statham in? The Transporter. And then he was in some Italian job.

He's the original hot ass British dude. Hot ass bald dude. He gave bald dudes hope. You know who gave bald dudes hope? JK Simmons. From a lot of stuff. Let me pause you there facts dude fuck

oh jason statham oh i thought you're about to look up a fucking ad read i thought you're about to talk about calm huh fast seven yes dude he started getting into the bald brotherhood with diesel if i know rock you know him the mag that might be That might be what it is. I was actually looking at that movie yesterday. He's a British dude. He's the type of British dude who can't say the T-H sound. He'll be like, it's free for E. So he's like an action guy.

He's a big action guy. I don't really know what my thoughts are on action movies. I've been watching a lot of thrillers. You're about to out yourself as a pussy, brother. No, I've been watching a lot of thrillers, and I watched some great movies last night. What's the difference between a thriller and an action movie? Knives versus guns?

I think an action movie is a little more like The Rock, or like, yeah, like guns, like a lot of guns. I think a thriller is a little more like suspenseful. It's like bordering on the line of horror. Yeah. I really think it is knives versus guns. Somebody in a thriller just comes up with a fucking long-ass blade. Yeah, a knife is way scarier than a gun.

I know. Well, yeah. No, shoot me before you stab me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Easily shoot me before you stab me. Yeah, I'm not trying to get stabbed to death. I'm not fucking getting stabbed. No.

No way. And imagine the intimacy of it. Oh, that's like what- Someone really has to mean it. That's what they say in the Batman, the Joker. Guns are the coward's weapon. It's nice. Yeah.

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It will make you feel like you're in the rainforest. I don't like to listen to the jungle ones. I like to listen to the ones where they're driving a train through Switzerland Alps. That's what you like? Yeah. What does it sound like? Is it like a chug chug? No, it's just like a story.

Oh, I thought you were talking about just a sound. No, no, no. This is like a bedtime story. That's fucking lovely. Yeah. And it's like Harry Styles or Matthew McConaughey reading it. Damn. You can only imagine how good their voices sound in your ears while you're sleeping.

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life and it it does work and it works yeah i'm gonna hit a calm when i get home yeah yeah afterwards yeah dude i heard uh i heard rogie's fucking he he'll meditate for an hour after every I'm going to hit a calm when I get home. Yeah? Yeah. Afterwards? Yeah. Dude, I heard Rogi's fucking, he'll meditate for an hour after every episode. Or is that Stern? Maybe it's Stern. Yeah, Stern goes and just meditates for a straight hour. Sounds like a Rogan thing. Stern might be on that shit too.

You know he went pussy. Stern's a bitch. Yeah, Stern is a bitch now. now yeah stern used to get it in i don't really see much from stern except from like clips online of like quentin tarantino yeah because now he's like fucking he's railing against all the people still listen to that show like all the time definitely there's definitely like the biggest show 55 year old guys from long island who listen every single fucking day And they have since they were like 14 years old. I mean, if you have Sirius, I would, it makes sense if you could just throw

your, like, if you could just get in the car and throw that on. Not for me. Nah, I wouldn't do it either. Not for me. Throw on the reggae station for me. Yeah. Yeah, a little Rasta. Throw on some fucking Beanie Man for me. I'm trying to listen to some Rasta. It's the summer now are you opening

for the lumineers yeah let's talk about that actually why are you why are you guys on that card i don't know i honestly don't know wait can we pull it up i feel like i'm not ready for that i feel like that's a bridge too far usually when we go to to shows, it's like people who want to come see pop punk and they came for pop punk. So it's like if we're bad, it's kind of on you. But I feel like a cover band would do good in that.

We cover the people who are at the festival. Yeah, but just play the hits, dude. We're about to play their songs. But a lot of times the big guys don't play their hits. We're about to play Jimmy E. Rowe's song.

So you should go to all the shows and be like, oh, Lumineers didn't play Hey Ho. Hey Ho? We'll play Hey Ho. Rowe's song. So you should go to all the shows and be like, oh, Lumineers didn't play... Hey-ho. Hey-ho. We'll play Hey-ho. No, seriously, because they're not going to play all their best songs.

Lumineers is going to go try to play their new album. They're definitely going to play their best songs. You don't go to a festival, see the Lumineers, and they don't play their best songs. Dude, a lot of artists get sick of playing the hits. But not at festivals. Maybe at a show where people go to. You have to play your songs at a festival.

You don't think people are going to go to this? I'm saying that... What's it called? Uh... Bro, you don't even know what festival you're on? It's like Ocean City, Maryland.

It's like OAR Festival. And I think it's because... I think it's because the bro, Roe Bears, fucks with us heavy. Dude, Roe Bears does. I think it's because... Wait, when is this?

Oh, September 30th? Oh, so you guys got a long time to practice. Alright, let's read off this lineup. So, Friday. Or no, let's read off Saturday. You're on Saturday. Okay. Dude, this is fucking insane.

This is the lineup. There's not that many people in one day. Lumineers are the headliners. Then we got Cage the Elephant. Logic. Cage the Elephant is just as big as Lumineers. Yeah, they're incredible. Logic does not fit on this at all.

You guys fit on this lineup way more than Logic. Barely. Dude, Lumineers and Cage the Elephant are like very similar vibes. True. And then they're just going to have Logic singing about people killing themselves. That's not all he sings about he sings about cigarettes too remember when he did a whole album about like cigarettes and he had like a name for it what was he talking about nicky nicky yeah it was like and i went outside to see yeah yeah yeah dude dude you don't have to have an extended metaphor for nicotine like it's not that deep oh dude i'm gonna go to this no you're not

welcome bro no i'm definitely gonna go you're gonna make me nervous i love peach pit as well say the rest of the of the line okay young the giant jimmy eat world alan stone larkin poe i don't know any of these people will dorado and then pup punk so you guys are like one or so you guys are one two three four five you guys are five spots behind cage the elephant that's not right no and read who are the headliners of the other days dude the next day after the pup punk over pup punk hangover they wake up to alanis morissette cindy lauper sublime ty verdes ty verdes dude oar the samples i know the samples Cindy Lauper, Sublime, Ty Verdes. Ty Verdes, dude. OAR, The Samples. I know The Samples. What's Ty Verdes' song?

He had a couple. Dude, The First Day. What else was his song? Living in this great blue world. This is going to be all-time vibes. This is going to be awesome. And what's the day before? Who were the headliners the day before?

Dave Matthews, Tim Redalds, Dirty Heads, OAR Group Love, Skip Marley, Noah Khan And what's the name of it? It's called Ocean's Calling Festival Ocean's Calling Peach Pit rules, Peach Pit's a great band We're on the Saturday We're on the Saturday, we're like in the morning

So we're like the first You're on the small stage Yeah So we're like the first. You're on the small stage. Yeah, like we're like waking people up in their tents. Mimosas and bagels. Yeah, it's very odd. Ocean City is not that far away from here, right? It's like the farthest point of the, or is Ocean City Maryland?

So it's like the highest point of Maryland, farthest point of the shore. I don't know. It's like the eastern shore. So how far? I've never even been there. So this isn't know. It's like the eastern shore. So how far? I've never even been there. So this isn't like a commute type thing. 175 miles. That's not too bad.

I was thinking of Atlantic City. Yeah, that Atlantic City would have been a whole different story. But yeah. I'll take it back. 240 miles. Oh, man. Good luck. I'm not going anymore.

Yeah, it's far enough. No, i would actually go to that i'm gonna go to that yeah it's scary but i would love to see you and i would love to see uh equally lumineers cage the elephant peach pit it doesn't make sense it doesn't even we don't uh it doesn't make a lot of sense but it's only a 30 minute set so we should be able to make well i could do fucking anything for 30 minutes yeah 30 minutes isn't bad we'll get a couple originals get a couple fucking covers we'll just smash it all together and make it a high energy

it's gonna be the morning you gotta think maybe like I don't know maybe I'll just do like a yoga set and just fucking do a vinyasana and fucking wake everybody up how's the rest of the team feeling the rest of the team is psyched I think I might be the scaredest of everybody.

Did you know this was coming or not? Not at this scale, no. Yeah. They kind of talked about it and I was like, yeah, I'm down for whatever. Because it's like, you know, four months from now, six months from now, five months from now. But yeah. September 30th. Yeah, I guess it's kind of far.

Damn. The fall? Yeah, it's fucked. That's a lot of shit. Yeah, a guess it's kind of far. Damn. The fall? Yeah, it's fucked. That's a lot of shit. You got a long time to prepare. Any requests? I'll get you some spots. Yeah, that would be love.

You should have Roan fill your last 20 minutes in Arlington. Yeah, do you want to? In what kind of shit? You guys can sing. No, I'm going to this fucking bachelor party. When is that? This weekend. Yeah, but what day?

It's the whole weekend. How come when I said I'm going to be in Arlington and you were like, well, you don weekend yeah but what day it's the whole weekend well then i how come when i said i'm gonna be in arlington and you were like well you don't you don't even know what day it is i know i was trying to fuck with you because what you know how when you like ask someone like like to do something and they like tell you like they can't do it before they even know what day it is you could just tell they really don't want to do it no i would have done that if i wasn't going to be away just kidding i definitely wouldn't have yeah exactly you definitely you would have gone to the bachelor party no that sounds terrible it's 25 dudes in one house and uh they're all marines or like his football buddies jesus that sounds like a fucking nightmare the marines are wild

or wild partiers but they'll also clean the fuck out of the house in the morning they'll get up at like 6 a.m and the shit will be spick and span the first thing in the morning. They'll get up at like 6am and shit will be spick and span. That'll be sick. First thing in the morning, they're all like getting together. And if you don't like help clean up like you're a schmuck, you gotta get up with the Marines to make sure you're picking up beer cans. There'll be one who's just like super enterprising.

Some like shredded like 5'4 dude with his shirt off like just putting everything in. Yeah, dude, they're gonna beat the fuck out of you. I hope so. I could fucking use it. it dude the sirens today have been crazy no that's why because we open up these windows the sirens are louder because that we took the soundproofing sector off of the window just to get some a little bit of sunlight in this fucking desolate ass studio it's way better like bigger says Sweet. This is significantly better. I think that you could get big so easily.

Yeah. I think that you just have to lift weights like two or three days a week and you would be significantly bigger. I don't care about getting big at all. I want to get shredded. That's never going to happen. Yeah, I know. You could get bigger

and you could put on some cute muscle but you're never never gonna get shredded that hurts to hear man it's i'm never it's that's never gonna happen it's the fucking truth past my prime not it's not even that past my prime bro my metabolism is shot got no metabolism anymore just genetically some bros some of us bros can't get shredded i'll eat like a piece of bread in the morning and i'll be like bloated for the next week yeah i have serious stomach issues wait you'll be pooping no just super bloated oh really yeah and the beer does that to you too yeah i i'm off the beers back on the claws or the high noons or just a vodka straight of vodka. No.

Vodka seltzer. That sounds just like I tried that. Where was I? Oh, I was in Denver like a couple weeks ago. I tried that. I'd rather be morbidly obese than drink that like for fun. It is gross. A vodka soda is disgusting. But once you lock in, like if you did get to a shredded point, like, you'd have to, like...

Yeah. You'd have to lock in on vodka soda. When I was doing... When I was, like, super into, like, dieting and, like, working out when I was going into college, I would just drink seltzers. I didn't drink a beer for, like, six months. But then I realized that, like, Miller Lite has less calories than a White Claw. Yeah. And you would turn into a little Vesper riding bitch.

Yeah. And also, like, White Claws aren't good. Yeah. Yeah. than a white claw yeah and you were turning into a little vesper riding bitch yeah and also like white claws aren't good yeah yeah no they they taste like you're fucking licking a steel beam but uh they're good on occasion but i'm not trying to like be drinking a white claw all night oh and uh was it hard for you to uh stop drinking uh yeah dude i i it sounds so hard. Yeah. It worked out because it was COVID. So my like first month of not drinking, everybody was home doing nothing too. So that made it easier, I think.

Yeah. Like there wasn't an option to go out. Yeah, that's the problem. I don't think it's like the, like I'm not like drinking alone. But like, like if Rome wasome was like hey you want to go get a beer after this i would be like yeah definitely but i'm not going to bro because i'm sober now for this week do you want to go get a beer after this i actually don't i have a lot of shit to do yeah right i'm very busy today you got a fucking we actually got to speed this up you got

the two-hour calm we got a 90 minute meditation I'm getting an aggressive meditation and then I gotta go watch some movies you haven't what'd you hit Almost Famous I watched Almost Famous I watched

fuck some weird ass movie with Shia LaBeouf dude isn't it dope in Almost Famous how that like teenager fucks an older woman yeah

that's sick isn't that fucking sick they like raped him though yeah like they did yeah it was weird yeah shit sorry shit flew different back then that's what happened yeah yeah but he was like we're gonna deflower him right now yeah i mean they don't care about the boys three of them just like circle him up and pull him out of the bathroom while he's pissing and fucked him and they fuck him yeah dude poor kid yeah he liked it you think so yeah he just doesn't know he didn't like it yeah he's like that 18 year old woman going to fallujah fucking fresh out of high school with a big gun. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She didn't know. Sorry, it took me a little bit to register. Sorry, brother. Your synapses aren't firing that much. Yeah, that movie was really good. Almost Famous was really good. And then I watched some movie about Shia LaBeouf being on house arrest

and he figures out that it's Disturbia. Disturbia. That was okay. Did they make a fucking Rihanna song about that? I don't know. Isn't there a Rihanna song called Disturbia? He was really young in it.

But he was fucking Rihanna around that time too. No way. What do you mean no way? Shia LaBeouf was fucking Rihanna? Yes. No way. Fact check me. Really? Fact check me. And they both had fucking art that came out at the exact same time called Disturbia.

I know there's a song called Disturbia. And she sings it. Yeah. And then he was in a movie. I love having all these movies. Confirmed? Confirmed. What does it say? He used to dick down in 2009. He used to fucking plow Rihanna. Who was the other girl that he was dating for a while? FK He used to dick down. In 2009. In nine. He used to fucking. That's crazy.

Plow Rihanna. Who was the other girl that he was dating for a while? F. F. K. Twigs or whatever her name is. F. K.

Twiggy. Yeah. Isn't he dating her? F. Scott Fitzgerald. Wasn't he dating her? He used to date that songwriter that wrote the Star Spangled Banner. F.

Scott Fitzgerald. F. K. Twigs. I think they had a nasty breakup really well i think he was like just insane did you like this derby it kind of sucked yeah it was okay it was like a fun like passing time that actually might have been like was that like a fucking repurposing of like some kind of hitchcock shit or something like that am i making that up i feel like there was

like uh or is it like rear wind or is that rear window that it was a take on? Maybe. I don't know. I mean, it was okay. It was. It definitely was. Doesn't he solve a fucking crime from his binoculars because he's on house arrest or some shit like that? Yeah, that's the movie.

Damn. Is L. Jackson in that? Or is that another? That was another LeBoss movie. Yeah, it was okay. I mean, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it. I enjoyed watching it. And then I watched Adventureland, which fucking ruled what's adventureland it's with uh jesse

eisenberg or whatever his name is smollett dude from social network oh okay is that his name jesse eisenberg it's with jesse eisenberg and uh kristin stewart and bill hater it's got a stacked cast it's an amazing movie haters the goat i think it was one of my favorite movies I've ever seen. Holy shit, dude. And then the worst part is after you watch a movie like that, you're like looking up, oh, movies like Adventureland. And then it's just like 500 Days of Summer. Nah.

Not for you? No, that movie's ass. Wait, you didn't watch everything? I think that movie is so, I like the movie, but I think it's so overrated. I don't even think I've seen it. I think it's like, that's kind of a, think I've seen it. I think it's like... It's a women's film? Not really, no. Kind of like an Oprah's Book Club type movie. I mean, it's like a rom-com, but you don't like

rom-coms? I like action movies. Oh, I love rom-coms. I like action movies and thrillers. Then you wouldn't like Adventureland. I like Guns and Knives, dude. I'm a boy. I would go as far as saying that Adventureland might just be straight-up rom. There's not a lot of com in it. Really? Yeah. It's a great, it's a good ass movie.

Is it under a drama? Is it drama? No, I think it might be. ROM-DROM? It might be a DROM-COM. A DROM-COM? Yeah. A ROM-DROM-COM?

Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. But that's a good movie, bro. You should watch it. Not for me. What is it? Is like Jim Carrey in it or something like that? No, you're thinking of Yes Man.

No, I'm thinking of fucking... Jim Carrey's in a lot of ROM? No, you're thinking of Yes Man. No, I'm thinking of fucking... Jim Carrey's in a lot of rom-coms. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And have you ever seen Yes Man? No, I don't think I have. Yes Man's a good movie. I've seen Liar Liar. It's with Zooey Deschanel, I think.

Bruce Almighty's great. He's like, I'm a bad father. I wouldn't say Bruce Almighty's a rom-com, brother. It's like a religious movie. You guys were just rattling off to the Carrey movies. Oh, oh, oh.

We're just sucking Carrey. Yeah, Carrey's the goat. Carrie, I mean, the year that Carrie had in 97. Oh, please. Mask, Ventura, and what was the other one? Dumb and Dumber. All at the exact same time. Three of the funniest movies of all time.

You think Mask is that funny? No, but it lumps in with the other ones to be like, it's still just like iconically good. I think Dumb and Dumber is a very funny movie still. And Ace Ventura is too. I've never seen it. What? I don't know.

Dude, he gets fits off in Ace Ventura. The style of Ace Ventura is exactly the same as the style right now. It's come full circle from, we are back in 1997. You'll see a dude in some high-waisted like fucking chinos with like a bowling shirt over it and like a wife beater under it that was his whole style thompson's look yes it's kind of a sweet look i was looking i watched a video last night of hunter hunter s thompson in like a shootout with his neighbor i forget what the context was i think there was something with like a cow how serious is the shootout if you can film it dude they're literally like they're like he's like like it sounded so casual i thought he

was just shooting at his neighbor's house and then i realized the neighbor was shooting right back at him yeah like a full-on shootout good for him i'll play it it's called i think it's called hunter s thompson's america they must just know each other are like bad shots though like you're not about to just stand out there and get in a shootout or he was just trying to die at the end i guess maybe he was trying to die the whole time well he killed himself yeah but i think from the rip he was just like if it kills me i don't care i don't think he ever cared about being crazy what all right ready watch this Ready to watch this Is that him?

Yeah My boy's brain is scrambled And it's a good place. It's very, very good. If this son of a bitch wants to pitch about his cows over here, and should it be, well, it's our country. Dude. It's not a bunch of used car dealers in Southern California. Oh, my God, dude. What a fucking nut. I know.

They're just shooting at each other. His fit is pretty thorough, too, though. Oh, yeah. He was throwing fits. The whole time. A lot of Ralph Lauren. Yeah. As Thompson with the high socks. Oh, yeah. Good thorough too, though. Oh, yeah. He was throwing fits. The whole time. A lot of Ralph Lauren. Yeah. As Thompson with the high socks.

Oh, yeah. Good for him, though. What's your style about to be this summer? Shorts and a t-shirt. Holy fuck, dude. Take notice. The whole city's about to be watching. NASCAR shit?

Yeah, big NASCAR fan. Really? No. Name five drivers, bro.ascar dale and dale jr and dale senior okay that's three i don't know any nascar dale the fourth i don't know and bubba dale oh bubba dale that's a person right yeah yeah well no bubba's uh there's a bubba right i thought there was a bubba wallace rusty walls no there is bubba wallace that's exactly bubba wallace yeah yeah that's the dude that was the dude that had like the racist shit happened to him yeah yes during the faded that

happened recently no it was in the 2020 when uh crazy shit was going on remember in 2020 i thought that was like a couple months ago oh dude that was 2020 it was in the it was in the 2020 when crazy shit was going on. Remember in 2020? I thought that was like a couple months ago. Oh, dude, that was 2020. It was in the thick of it. That's crazy. Because NASCAR was the only sport still going off. Yeah, because they're all racist as fuck. Not all of them, just most of them. Yeah, like all of them. Dude, remember

in 2020 when people were finding pallets of bricks, and they were like, dude, what? I've never seen a pallet of bricks before. This must be a psyop by the government trying to encourage people to riot. Last night, I was on a walk, and I saw a massive pallet of bricks. And people were just convinced.

Someone would be like, I've never seen a pallet of bricks before. No, I don't remember. This is definitely Antifa trying to do this. And it would get be like i've never seen a pallet of bricks before like i don't remember this is definitely antifa like trying to do this and it would get a hundred thousand likes twitter like jack was in the back of twitter like pushing that shit forward it's like dude pallets of bricks exist in the world like it's not that crazy to see bricks no i i don't remember the bricks thing but i remember the fireworks thing was huge i got fucking sigh out by that i was like dude the fucking cops are fucking setting off fireworks.

And it's fucking like... Everyone was like, dude, there's just nonstop fireworks in New York all day. Yeah. I wasn't here for that, though. I missed out on that and I missed out on the pots and pans. I was positive it was the cops. I really wish I was here for the pots and pans. They brainwashed the fuck out of us. Yeah.

Honestly, at least Owen used it for good and got sober. He used his brainwash and positively. People thought they were planting milk crates in lower income oh yeah with the milk crate thing yeah they're like where are these coming from yeah they want people to hurt each other with the milk i've never seen these before 200 000 fucking retails yeah it's like what what are you talking about you've never seen a milk crate they're behind every convenience store trying to go all boys in the hood it's just where dudes like sit and smoke cigarettes after their terrible jobs that they're just like toiling away in a kitchen they take all the milk crates home or no they just sit behind you you never sat on a milk crate and sat smoked a cigarette uh no you're a fucker missing out i

know dude i'm about to this about to be my two years here. When? At the stool. Shut up, dude. J-1. First, you fucking dropped out of college and fucking landed here. I dropped out of college a long time ago. Dude, I was listening to Freakonomics on the way over here, and they said that the boys are dropping out of college at alarming rates. They said 60% of college students are women, and within a couple years, two out of every three degrees will go to a woman.

Damn. That's good shit. They're saying no. They're saying the boys are getting left behind. It's the opposite of good shit. I mean, why? I know actually a lot of my friends dropped out, but I think it was just because of COVID. Most of them went back.

I think they said that the good paying jobs for men, our construction like the construction job is a good paying job you don't necessarily have to be college educated to do that and that's less available to women but they also said the gay bros are the most educated they said the gay dudes had a country it would be the most educated country in the world and that fucking confirms everything i've been saying dude they should fucking be sent somewhere fucking liquid ivy does that just all build up to that bro no no no came up with it on the spot bro are you bidding with some of us freestyle or shit bro some of us don't come in with written talking points i write every single word for this podcast. I know. We have scripts. We have to edit shit out when I get off script. Like Call Her Daddy.

I forgot that fucking, that Lex used to hit a script. Oh, yeah. And Fia. Lex and Fia, dude. I miss them. They were here when you started two years ago. Used to see them in the hallways. Weren't they?

Who? Call Her Daddies? No. Well, Alex was. Sophia wasn't yeah fucking company happy hours when she was here we're fucking different dude she'd pick up the tab for everything but she was crazy she'd be getting us foie gras frog legs fucking escargot dude we ate good when coop was around that's why we need the celtics to win. After one of those, you need a fat liquid IV.

Liquid IV is a hydration multiplier. Wait, liquid IV hydration multiplier is an electrolyte drink mix that delivers water and key nutrients into your bloodstream faster and more efficiently than water alone. One stick of liquid IV hydration multiplier in 16 ounces of water hydrates you two times faster and more effectively than water alone. Hmm. I use liquid IV. I actually had a liquid IV this morning. Are you serious? Yes.

I have a big bag of them. It's, I mean, being hydrated, especially during the summer, is one of the most important things. Yeah, I had it this morning. I'll roll up to Costco, grab a big jammy of fucking liquid IV. Oh, yeah. And I'll just be set for the week. Yeah. But I go through it like fucking that, though. Feel that. I big jammy of fucking liquid iv oh yeah and i'll just be set for the week yeah but i go through it like fucking that though feel that chopping up the fucking no yeah i go with the lemon personally really yeah that has the best b3 and b2 or i'm sorry b5 b6 b12 and

vitamin c dude it has all those essential vitamins oh yeah three times yeah non-gmo too nothing genetically modified that's important that's very important to sass sass his body's a fucking temple now that i'm back in the gym i'm out on gmos and i'm out on beer yes you just put the liquid iv you just go out to the bar and you ask behind the bar you guys have any liquid iv and yeah and if you if they say no then you pull one out of your back pocket and you say don't worry I brought one with me exactly I'm packing I never leave the house without it

you'll meet a girl out at a bar and she'll find like the liquid IV in your wallet where a condom used to be she'll just find babe I didn't know

you stayed hydrated grab liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com use code. You can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com. Use code SUN at checkout. So 25% off, pretty fucking good deal to stay hydrated all summer.

Especially if you're going to bachelor parties, getting shit-faced. Dude, you're going to want to be hydrated the next day. You're going to want to get your Liquid IVs in. I like to go before I go to bed, and then maybe one when I wake up too. Yes, dude. That's the way. But that's just me. Pounding water.

Get creative with it. Just get creative with it. Pounding water at all times is's just me. Pounding water. Get creative with it. Just get creative with it. Pounding water at all times is key. Exactly. Pounding water at all times is important. Dude, let's talk about busing with the boys. Let's touch on that. What the hell are they doing?

I think that they came on our podcast. And then they were just like, we're just going to steal this whole thing. Yeah, they're like, we had such a good time. We're like, wait, we could do this. We're just going to take everything. They're just hermit crab came on our podcast. And then they were just like, we're just going to steal this whole thing. Yeah, they're like, we had such a good time. We're like, wait, we could do this. We're just going to take everything. They're just hermit crabbing into our show. The girl dad thing was one thing.

Because I was like, okay, that's fine. Will Compton just had a daughter. We'll let it slide. Even though we did go into talks. But we did say we were going to make it for him. And we asked the merch side months ago about doing, you know, Girl Dad stuff. And I guess he decided to take it into his own hands. He did Girl Dad.

That's fair. That's okay. I guess they're trying to get that bag for Father's Day. Which, by the way, we do have all of our new merches out and it's good shit. Our merch is good shit. Our merch is way better than theirs. So don't buy their merch. Buy our merch.

The quality of it is fucking transcendent. It's crazy. It's like designer. And then I'm on instagram last night and i see will compton reposting some poll saying that they need to make boy dad hats dude the fact that he would even give that he would even play with that idea first off the fact that will compton's posting anything about polls pause bro yeah fucking pause off the fucking rip right off the bat but second of all dude First off, the fact that Will Compton's posting anything about polls. Pause, bro. Yeah. Fucking pause off the fucking rip.

Right off the bat. But second of all, dude, jacking something from your bros, jacking your bros, pause again. Doesn't sound like he's bussing with the boys. Yeah. He's bussing against his boys. That's not with the boys. That's nothing about that's for the boys, dude. Why don't I go play for the fucking Titans?

Yeah, exactly. Why don't I fucking take your shit, dude? Why don't I go poop in your house, dude? Why don't I raise your daughter, dude? How does that go poop in your house dude why don't i i raise your daughter how does that sound dude how about that how does that how does that sound comp how's that yeah no that was that was genuinely crazy yeah i mean what and i clicked no on the poll because it was like who wants to see boy dad merch and i clicked no and i was one of the eight percent and it was 92% yes. So it's like,

so what, are they just going to put out fucking boy dad merch and we're just done? It's over? Over our fucking dead body. We're going to be with fucking... I'll Boston Tea Party them if they try to do that shit.

I'll go to the packing plant and dump the shit into the fucking water. Yeah, I definitely will absolutely destroy them. Or I'll buy all of it. Will confident has some fucking set of nerves oh he's got some nerves

he's also a fucking troll he's getting dragged badly but obviously is he actually getting dragged no for the list you saw the fucking his rapper list oh yeah wait how many wait what is like the quote retweets and stuff like how many retweets what's the is that the most recent do you just screenshot that or is that an old screenshot

let me read this there are far far more retweets oh my god 1000 replies and then he replied and he said a lot of y'all don't know hip-hop i see it's retweeted i don't know man talent is talent i think the list goes for best rappers i'm assuming yeah eminem mac miller biggie beastie boys tupac jay-z nf lil wayne machine gun kelly j cole at 10 that's a pretty funny list yeah it's it's a hilarious list it's actually perfect the way he like spaced it all out like he really he trolled the fuck out of everybody the machine gun Kelly at 9 is so funny yeah NF too NF at 7

NF that's hilarious yeah and it's gonna make it hurt even more when I have to fucking backhand him up the side of the head like a fucking James Bond fucking I might retweet I might throw in a retweet just to get him some more haters just to get people riled up be like a white man said this with the fucking bulging

eyes. Yeah. You're a guest in our culture. Get this cracker out of here. You're a fucking guest in the culture, Compton. Get it fucking straight. Get it right, dude. I'm going to retweet it from the boy dad account.

Yeah. Throw a little fucking, throw a little commentary on it too. Should I quote tweet it? Quote tweet it too. Should I quote tweet it and just it too should I quote tweet it and just say you're a guest in the culture check yourself

yeah yeah yeah get his ass dude try that try some shit Compton dude very fucking funny dude the quote tweets are unreal quote tweets the people are fucking furious

and by the people I mean black people are furious I'm gonna say you're a guest in the culture brother check yourself and then dash roan yeah you put it however you want he just so he knows that it's coming from all of us no no now he knows it's coming from you directly i didn't want to get behind it why i don't know i felt like it'd be funnier if it was you because you have like a

hip-hop background first you hip you help you a hip hop background. First episode. You hip, you hip, you hip, you hop. Oh, yeah. First episode of The Nicest. First episode of The Nicest came out on Sling. It's free on Sling. Free on Sling. If you have Sling, it is easy to download. The shit was good.

It's a good ass episode. Oh, it was awesome. We watched the whole thing. Yeah, we were cracking up. Fuck yes, dude. Love that from the boys. But yeah, the shit is funny. And that's busting with the boys. That's busting with the boys. Watching your boys' shit. Supporting your Fuck yes, dude. Love that from the boys. But yeah, the shit is funny. And that's busting with the boys.

That's busting with the boys. Watching your boys' shit. Supporting your homies, dude. Everybody working together. Owen came out. Owen came through in the flesh. Tyler was there with the camera shooting behind the scenes, dude. Nick, KB were there.

Sash was there. Well, I wasn't there. Oh. I was in Austin. That's a Compton move, dude. I know. That is a Compton. That's a big time Compton move. We're going to call that. That's what we Oh. I was in Austin. That's a Compton move, dude. I know. That is a Compton. That's a big time Compton move.

We're going to call that. That's what we'll call it from now on. That's a Compton. That's a Compton. Anytime you're going directly against the boys. Yeah, that's a Compton. Anytime you're driving directly into the boys. Flying into the wind.

Speaking of behind the scenes, we actually have our behind the scenes video from the Texas, from the Texas Neighborhood Eats. Is it out? It's coming out. It's coming out this week love that and it's very funny yeah that shit was hilarious

yeah so that'll be fun it's just basically like a vlog behind the scenes it's fun though it's funny as fuck yeah we just did a bunch of dumb ass shit in Texas

yeah Neighborhood Eats came out as well in Texas yeah so check that out funny ass shit West Texas and I'll be in Arlington you need to have these tickets I'll be in Arlington this You need to have these tickets. I'll be in Arlington this week.

And I actually forgot to mention, the tickets are in my bio on Instagram and Twitter. So check that out. That place is going to be echoing. No, it's not, dude. I've sold like over like 800 tickets. No, that's facts. And I do.

It's going to sell out. They're going to sell out. I get pissed when people are like. So much money. Yeah, you are. It's going to be out. They're going to sell out. I get pissed when people are like so much money. Yeah, you are. It's going to be more money, more money, more money. It's going to be spilling at the top of your shirt.

I'm just not going to show up to the show. You're just going to collect the money? It says like no refunds, no exceptions. No matter what. Yeah. And it's very hard to get in.

Cash out. It's a very strict dress code policy. I'm actually going to be going to Philly too soon and Providence and Boston and Atlanta. Yo, what bro? You never been to Atlanta, have you? I have been to Atlanta with you.

Oh yeah, we went to Kennesaw. That's the heart of the country. That's the salt of the earth. That's going to be dope. Are you going mostly on weekends? It's all on weekends. Are you going to be in New York on Thursday and Friday this week? I will be here on Thursday and I will probably be here on friday but i gotta figure that out because i i was thinking i was thinking if i left after the yak on friday i could probably make it

but then i'm like oh someone jumps in front of my train again and i miss the show if you dude it would be hilarious hilarious so bad prank that would be so bad if i missed the show if you dude it would be hilarious hilarious so bad prank that would be so bad if i missed the show if you're one of our i can't imagine the stress that i would be going through if that happened i would get off the train and start like running dc because you're like i don't even know if i want to like risk it with the pot like i might just go i might have to just go on thursday night no dude you're no one's gonna jump in front of your train. It happened to me before, dude, and I was like, I got delayed for five hours. It'd be like the scene with Whiplash, but instead of drunk sex,

you're bringing the mic. Just dragging the mic behind him in his rolly bag. I can't imagine what I would do. I don't even like to think about it, because I always see people being like, oh, I have COVID, I have to move all these shows. I can't even imagine having, like, that must be so stressful. Just someone taking your spot, your have to move all these shows. I can't even imagine having, like that must be so stressful. Just someone,

someone taking your spot, your boy taking your spot on stage. You have to like shove him off all fucking bloodied. That would suck. It will be a, it will be absolutely despicable. Like my first real show.

This is your first real show? Well, my first like headlining show. The fact that you're only giving people 30 minutes at your headlining show. No, it's not like a headliner show. It's called Lil Sass and Friends. friends bro are you gonna be there's gonna be

a lot of friends you should schultz it you should have everybody up why not just i'll try and do like 40 if i can just run i'm not trying to do like a shitty now dude why because that's dumb why podcasts are dumb bro want to come down? If I didn't have the sweet ass bachelor party. Dude, skip the bachelor party. They want you to come. I'm not going to be able to go. They're Marines, dude.

You can't say no to a Marine. Come with me, bro. I got two beds. I got two beds. Do you actually? Yes. And I probably have negative two beds.

I got a nice ass hotel. I kind of splurged. Did you? Ever heard of the Ritz Carlton? There's no way you're staying at the Ritz Carlton. I'm staying at the fucking Marriott. Have you ever been in a Ritz Carlton?

The Marriott's good. It's better than the Hilton. Have you stayed at a Ritz Carlton? I was looking at it. It was $500 a night. That would have been worth it. I know. I mean, you might as well.

It wouldn't have been worth it. As long as I have a bed and a TV, it's fine. I don't even watch fucking TV at hotels anymore. That's all I do. I used to love it. I used to live for like throwing on a movie. Yeah. Paying $17.95 to rent a movie that came out two years ago.

No, I don't rent movies on the TVs there because the prices are fucking insane. One time I spent $30 on whatever that new Matt Damon movie is where his daughter gets We bought a zoo. No, not that one. I would have spent $30 for that. And I fell asleep within five minutes. Yeah? Yeah.

I was like, damn, that was a lot of money. It's crazy how Taken has just become a genre of movie. Oh, yeah. Taken is not that good. You're an idiot. I didn't love that. I watched that recently for the first time. Taken?

Yeah. Probably because you've seen all the other ones. That's like watching a stand-up comic from like the 80s, like watching Steve Martin do stand-up and being like, this isn't that funny. It's like, yeah, because people have just like

done, taken, and built on those jokes, concepts, and premises. We were watching some old stand-up. We were watching Robin Williams and... Yes, and everyone's like,

yes. Yeah. And Pavarotti's in the back like, yes. And George Carlin, and they were... Dude, I used to love Robin Williams' CDs. Dude, it was like, were... Dude, I used to love Robin Williams CDs.

Dude, it was like, it holds up extremely well. We were laughing very hard. Dude, he's, yeah. But he was just, he was just like, his whole vibe was just that he was like

coked out of his mind. Yeah, he's fucking funny. I always thought the one thing that I thought was weird is that they don't use microphones. They have labs. Because he's probably,

he's like a Juilliard trained student. He's like cartwheeling across the stage. i don't like that they that's that's the thing that they do on late night shows too like if you see comics going like fallon or any other of the other late night shows like conan um before conan ended they don't use they don't have microphones they just have to go out there and like have their hands in their pockets and they just stay completely still until like one-liners in like some tight ass jean pockets yeah you say stand-ups like a war and the mics here weapon right yeah yeah exactly yeah what's a stage what's a what's a what is the benny the butcher line like what's

a what's a stage with no mic and no poet something like that that's you bro that's me and your jokes are your poetry yeah yeah well i'm an artist yeah yeah you talking about fucking airplanes is your that's your fucking that's you contributing your verse to the discourse of this world that's what the show should have been called sass on planes sass on planes that's actually a fire name yeah because it like implies that you're on a plane. But I'm also on, I'm on fire. Yeah. And you're like.

Sass on flames. On flames. Or rhymes with planes. Planes, yeah. Oh shit, now you're sounding like Benny the Butcher. But also it kind of sounds like I'm like, you know, I'm all over the place. Like I never get to rest because I'm so busy grinding. Yes, dude.

You do fucking grind a lot. Yes. Yes, dude. Yes. Yes. Yes. Dude, shout out to my gay college graduates out there. It's fucking dope.

Okay. You don't want to shout out the gay college graduates? How long have we been going? A buck and three minutes. Already? Jesus Christ, bro. We got to get into this. I know.

That's why I was thinking about the ad. This fucking time is fine, bro. My dad's coming up. I'm about to fucking chill with my dad, dude. Really? Why don into this. I know. That's why I was thinking about the ad. This fucking time is fine, bro. My dad's coming up. I'm about to fucking chill with my dad, dude. Really? Why don't you bring him on the pod? I would love that. I would have, dude. He's too fucking... When are we interviewing you? I don't know.

Whenever you want. Run Lake doesn't want to do that. I will do. I'll happily do it, but it's like, how do I pick the good stories? Well, we're going to have your boys come in. I think Mike Wallace maybe leads it. That would be fun. We're going to ship the boys out. I think Mike Wallace maybe leads it. That would be fun. We're going to bring out the boys. Get in any of the mics. If you could get four mics, that would be fire.

Yeah, I'll get four mics from different times of your life. That would be dope. That's sort of the point, though. The mics are always there. They are always there. And they've always been there. That's busting with the boys. They'll always be there, bro. And dude, don't you kind of feel like the mics are kind of yours now

too oh yeah i definitely have a selection of them i got told that we are when our mit is in mic training you know mit's you guys are mics in training hell yeah he told me this week when i go to mit i'm like what you guys are mics in training that's what mike said to you mike that's fucking dope yeah ty Tyler was out on the Most Dangerous Game Show. Great times bonding with Tyler, bro. We were just fucking chilling. Chilling in fucking wherever the fuck we were

in the woods in Pennsylvania. Going on adventures. That was not the Poconos, I don't think. Actually, I don't think we're even supposed to be saying where we were. Yeah, that's why I was saying wherever we were. And then you put it... Well, then you said the state. I can't stand you. Honestly, I was lying about the state. I can't think we're even supposed to be saying where we were. Yeah, that's why I was saying wherever we were. And then you put it. Well, then you said the state. It wasn't even. Honestly, I was lying.

I can't stand you. You're fucking stupid. Father's Day is just around the corner in Manscaped performance package. 4.0 is the perfect bundle for the man in your life. And Rowan, you've got a lot of men in your life. Chill, bro. That was not fucking. The the performance you just comped the fuck out of me right there chill bro don't comp to me like that bro i know that was a content i'm

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I use it. The Crop Reviver, ball spray toner. You used that ball deodorant because you got so fat that your thighs are just rubbing, dude. Exactly. I have to have like...

They are generating heat. I had to buy like friction fucking... I basically had to buy lube. Yeah, you were putting Crisco in between your thighs. For my balls. Just so you could slip and slide. Performance boxer briefs and a travel bag to hold it all. The Lawn Mower 4.0 is waterproof and has a 400K LED spotlight for a more precise shave.

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That's 20% off, free shipping at Manscaped.com. Use the code. Son. Son. Dude, I went to fucking Applebee's last night. Yeah. It was fucking dope. Tell me about it. Tell me about it.

It was fucking sick, dude. What'd you get? A fucking Impossible Burger. It was fucking dope. What is that? a vegan burger? It's no meat. Okay, let's end this. Let's end the podcast.

Because that's a competent. That is? Yeah. Having no red meat? Yeah. Dude, I'm trying to be healthy. I'm not trying to be like you're fucking. Why don't you just get something else, like a chicken sandwich?

I don't want a chicken sandwich. You wanted a burger made up of beans and rice? It tasted like. I wanted a bean burger. It tasted like a real burger. They actually are bad. Yeah, they was. Well, I've never had the,

I've had like a vegetarian burger, but I've never had a, I don't think like an Impossible Burger is like a specific thing. That's the one that tastes exactly like it. Yeah, that's weird. I don't think I would fuck with that. I would be willing to try it though.

You would extremely fuck with it. I'm hungry as fuck. I didn't eat after my pump. You gotta go to Applebee's. Oh, you didn't eat after your pump? No, it's basically a day wasted. Dude, you might as well have not fucking pumped, bro. I know, it's a day wasted.

Jesus Christ, dude. You're going backwards. I know. I ate a fucking ton of oatmeal after my pump this morning, bro. Really? What'd you hit? Like three bags, I think. It was apple cinnamon.

And then one was maple and brown sugar. I hit like a whole box, bro. Quaker has me fucking stack. Quakers. Quakers. The goat Quakers. Yeah, dude. Quakers are the goats.

What's the thing that's like oatmeal, but it's not oatmeal. Cream of wheat. Cream of wheat rules. No, it does. Yeah, it does. I love cream of wheat. What the fuck? I used to eat cream of wheat when I was young all the time and it's so good. Is that the same as porridge?

It's similar. It might be the same as porridge? It's similar. It might be the same. What's curds and whey? I've never heard of those words in my entire life. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey. Curds and whey. It's like oats and whey protein mixed in. Curds?

Curds of oat, or is it cheese curds? Cottage cheese and fucking... Cottage cheese is so fucking gross. so i mean cream of wheat is that no it's not dude cream of wheat is good and then you throw some brown sugar on it but you can throw that on oatmeal yeah but you don't throw okay yeah i never said i never said anything bad about oatmeal is the apex predator of fucking breakfast no dude you gotta it is no dude you gotta never gotta have my mom's i love corned beef you gotta have You've never had a cream of wheat patch. You've got to have my mom's. I love corned beef's hat. You've got to have my mom's world famous cream of wheat. If we're putting corned beef patch in the mix, corned beef patch wins.

Wait, your mom makes cream of wheat? Doesn't it come in a fucking box? Yeah. She used to make it for me when I was younger. Is she a colonial settler? No, I used to have it when I was like a child. Oh, that's cool. No, delete all of this.

I'm dead serious. I don't want this going out. All right, all right. That's fine. No, I'm not fucking kidding, this. I'm dead serious. I don't want this going out. All right, all right. That's fine. No, like, I'm not fucking kidding, dude. I will quit. It's just whack that your mom is making cream of wheat. She could make anything better than that.

It's not called cream of wheat. It is. No, it's cream of wheat. If you're fucking eating, like, a Revolutionary War snack, then you should fucking talk the way they talk. Dude, you were just telling me that you eat cottage cheese. No, I don't. I said, what is curds and whey? I asked what it was. Did we pull up a picture of

curds and whey? He just showed you a picture. Jamie, pull up a picture of curds and whey. He just fucking flashed you a pic, bro. Like, oatmeal is definitely the most socially acceptable out of all of those. Yeah. You could be like a bodybuilder and have oatmeal. I actually got to get on some oats. That's smart. It is, dude.

Because you have it right after your workout. Some steel cut. Ew. Curds and whey? It looks like packing peanuts. It looks like clumpy cocaine from this angle. How would you know, bro? Because I'm addicted to cocaine.

Not the clumpy kind, though. No. You like that fine China. Yeah, that fine powder. Me and Owen have actually been cooking. Cocaine? Yeah. That's crack. Yeah. Well's crack yeah well no yeah well we've been yeah if you cook the cocaine it turns into crack putting the pyrex on the i don't know how to mix i don't know how to mix the song but i can mix that doggy food yeah you're fucking with it like that yeah i bet you do i actually believe that you you

mix that doggy food i do that's how you've been throwing around so much money. That's why you're staying in the Ritz this coming weekend. I know. I wish I was staying in the Ritz. Should I change my reservation? Is it paid for? No. Then guess.

Oh, no. I had to pay for it. But I'm saying, is it already paid for? Oh, yes. Yes. Can you cancel? Probably. Just stay at the Ritz.

You don't get addicted. You think I stay at the Ritz for one night and then head over to the Marriott? Stay for the second night. I got a nice spot, bro. Yeah? Yeah. Check in right at

three o'clock at the Ritz. Be there at 2.59 as soon as your room's ready. I just don't, like, we've stayed in nice hotels for work. When we were in Philly, that hotel we stayed in

was really nice for the Chicks in the Office show. That's because they put us in the Chicks in the Office hotel. That was me and you. We would have been in the fucking Motel 6. Yeah, we would have been in the American Motor. Well show that's because we they put us in the chicks in the office hotel that was me and you that we would have been in the fucking motel six yeah we would have been in the american motor and i'm sure you wouldn't i would no we stay together what are you talking about bro we stay we have two beds in one room play when we were in nashville well you the hotel that we stayed in nashville was awesome yeah yeah it was shaped like a guitar it was

fucking dope no it wasn't. That hotel was awesome. That was the Marriott. I actually stayed there again when I went back. That was expensive. Really? Yeah. That's how we do it, though.

That's Barstool. That's the cats that we do. That's how we do. That's when fucking New York was winning championships. We got to put out a Celtics shirt. I know Tyler's already got one out, so check that out. What is it? What is it called?

Juice. Check that out. Check out Tyler's shirt. Designed by Tyler's already got one out. So check that out. What is it? What is it called? Juice. Check that out. Check out Tyler's shirt designed by Tyler. Designed by Tyler. Printed by Tyler. No. And so we got a whole nother series coming up. So you could buy this today.

Have it by the time that the games are going on. Yeah. We got to fuck up the Warriors. Yeah. Just so we can start staying in nice hotels. We should go to Boston for it. I guess people are definitely already going to be doing that. Probably going to send KB and Nick down there. I guess I wouldn't be getting sent down there either way,

so it doesn't matter. You should play up the Boston side of yourself. I know. You're barely a Boston dude. That would be sick. Should I work from home? Nobody respects you as a Boston head. Is game seven in?

Do you know? I don't know. Two away, two, one away. Fuck. You should go to, you should just start tweeting at hubs about the Yankees and shit. Yeah.

Just fill the Carrabbas void and just be a big ass Boston homer. Nobody has any idea you're from Boston. People think you're from Arlington the amount that you fucking promote this show. It's the only city I've heard you from. I made a mistake by promoting it so early. People don't buy tickets. I'm probably going to sell

the majority of the tickets this week. Yeah, think about when you buy tickets. I buy tickets the night that I'm going. An hour before I go to a show. Well, if I think a show's going to go out, or if I think a show's going to sell out, I try and buy the tickets as soon as possible. Yeah, but I'm not. Yeah, but if it's someone who only has like 10 to the 30 minutes prepared,

I'll just wait the night before. The amount that you care about is almost indicative of how much. No, I have like a tight 25, 30. I'll be good. Oh, yeah. It's tight. No, it is. I've heard it. It's dialed. You haven't heard me go up recently. I'm on. I'm on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You haven't heard me go up recently. I've heard the 20.

I'm on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ever since that one fucking sweet ass show that you did. Ever since that one night, dude, when I did the 7 p.m. And then I went to, I opened up for Nick Coletti. And then I went back for the midnight and I crushed every single set. And I was like.

Wait, you opened for Nick Coletti? I'm on now. God damn it. I done came up. Didn't he ask you to open for him? And you're like, no, I don't think I will.

No, that's not at all what happened. Are you sure? He said, do you want to do some time? And I said, yes. And no,

at first you were like, no, I don't think so. And he was like, all right. Cause I thought I had, I thought my spots would, would,

uh, yeah. And if I'm trying to like get as many spots at the stand as I can, I, and it's not, I don't want to be canceling spots. I understand. But you went up and it was a good thing.

But I went up, yeah. It was awesome. It was a hot crowd. Yeah, shout out to him, dude. He was hilarious when he came on here. Yeah, he was very funny. People didn't like him chewing. I don't care.

I don't care either. It's like, dude, fucking stop being a bitch. Yeah, he chews funny, dude. Like, who gives a shit? He could do anything funny. Oh, my God. Funny episode, but oh my god the chewing it needs to like i'm so sick of the fucking comments dude i'm so sick and tired of

the photoshop bro i'm just sick and tired of like the complaints great episode sass's audio is a little echoey then don't listen to it fucking idiots no but like it's like a it's a great episode i don't need to hear like yeah we know he was chewing into the microphone the entire time. I don't need 7,000 people to DM me separately. But dude, that's just what's going to happen with this podcast getting bigger. We saw the numbies. Oh, we're up. We're up.

We're up right now. But that doesn't mean that you can't tell your friends to fucking listen to Son of a Boy, Dad. Oh yeah, tell them all. And like us, subscribe to us, give us good ass feedback. Come see us in Arlington. That's the best way to let other people, yeah, we're going to be sharing a bed.

We're going to be doing the thing where we jump from one bed to another. We might crack skulls in the middle. Tom, you guys should come because Rowan's going to do a tight five. Yeah. And my Fitbit's telling me it's time to move. I'm going to be...

Are you serious? Yeah. You've been that sedentary we haven't moved in the last hour and a half but what about the rest of the day it says every hour it gives you notification time to move bro i went to solid core this morning i went to the gym then i biked in dude i've been moving all day bro i know i'm active and i still look like shit i gotta start moving more i'm gonna move more today yeah it's tough your forearms are your are your calling card oh yeah if you get whenever you get big

your forearms get big bro my forearms get when i get a pump dude my forearms become bigger than my biceps and the definition i can tell when you jacked off in the morning oh yeah i can always tell i got a lot of freckles that i got to get checked out like i don't remember there being 70 freckles right here have you ever seen those like tiktoks where it's like it's if like all boys have this freckle like right here on their arm seen those like tiktoks where it's like it's if like all boys have this freckle like right here on their arm it's like oh the most common place i can't believe you still use that app dude i don't even really you got to get off of that thing it's i don't especially with the summertime dude it's like it go outside not you specifically but it's like do

that i don't go on the app i'm happy to share my screen time with the amount of you no i believe you i was telling my little sisters i'm, we got to get you guys outside. But they've already been like, it's more powerful than heroin. Yeah. I told them I'm going home and I'm going to take them on a hike because we're going to see the world. It's tough too

because like children do like what they learn their parents seeing. So like now people are like 20 and just fucking and they're just on TikTok. They're going to be having kids and the kids are just going to see them

on TikTok all day. I think anyone that's smart will die. It will stop using it so much. I don't think so, brother. They're on a fucking movie. Have you seen one? Damn it. You do love movies.

Yeah, I'm on a big movie kicker. You love film? Well, Sunday's my movie day. I watch at least three. Dude, I want to get to a theater. I want to get to like a strip mall theater. Not even like a fucking, because theaters in New York are cool, but I want to be out in a I want to get to like A strip mall theater Not even like a fucking Cause theaters in New York

Are cool But like I want to be out In a movie theater Like in the wilderness That's my thing Oh oh I thought you meant You wanted to like

See live theater No no no A movie theater I want to see Top Gun I'll go I'll go this week You want to go this week You want to leave work early someday

Play a little hooky And get a bunch of sugar In our bodies Yeah well I'm probably going to get a salad Wherever they have them If they have salads At the movie theater

Don't fuck movie theater. What are you talking about? I'll bring a chicken Caesar wrap. Bring some beans. A bean salad. Yeah. But no, I do want to see it really bad. Holy fuck.

Well, maybe we'll see it and we'll talk about it on the next episode. Yeah. All right. Son of a boy dad. Thank you guys for listening. Peace.