Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 68 - Based Europeans
Episode Date: July 12, 2022Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 68 - Based Europeans -- Sas & Rone discuss/compare their July breaks: galavanting across picturesque Europe vs. fighting off Covid for the 4th time -- Full episodes also availabl...e on YouTube!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Sass, take us home, brother, or wherever the fuck we're going.
Take us to the show, brother.
All right, ready?
Yes, sir.
What is up everybody welcome back to son of a boy dad podcast today it is monday it is july 11th i believe 7-11 day it's 7-11 day what's your 7-11
order bro i don't really go to 7-11 mine's a taco and cheese taquito. It's fucking gourmet. It's
delightful. That sounds like that would
give me stomach problems. Guess you've never been
poor, bro. Guess you never
struggled and got it out the fucking mud.
Mine's probably some jerky. Okay.
A little salty. It's like eight bucks.
Why is jerky
so expensive? Because it's
like a steak in a bag. Oh, yeah.
Some salt. Some fucking salty ass steak in a bag. Oh, yeah. Some salt.
Some fucking salty ass steak.
High sodium.
I eat fucking like a bag of jerky and I like can't get my socks off.
I like bloat up so much.
I'm fucking just a balloon boy.
I look like the Michelin man.
You feel bloated?
Yeah.
I think I ate some bad shit yesterday i was on
the toilet rough this morning really yeah dude i just ate like woke me up got me out of bed
what what was it what was uh what was nasty i don't know you must know poop waking you up's
the worst yeah i farted and then i was like oh i'm shitting my pants actively cold red yeah and i just hopped over to
the bathroom yeah sometimes i try to like i'll do that but i'll try and like keep my eyes closed so
like i don't like fully let in all the light so i can try to go back to sleep afterwards i had to
get up anyway i had to wake up early as fuck today why were you coming back home from wherever
mysteriously you live massachusetts oh that's where you're from? Yeah.
Shut up, dude.
Yeah, I had to take the train home this morning.
Damn.
Fucking tired.
Damn.
That's fucking sick to have been home, though.
You were with your dog.
Yeah, it was nice.
I mean, I had COVID the whole time.
That's fucked.
I thought you...
Didn't you like secretly have COVID like two weeks before that?
Yeah, I think it's...
I think I'm still testing positive from that.
Oh, really?
Wait, when was that one? Well, I just never never tested he had it on the low low low well it wasn't very on the low
i mean if you heard my me talk you probably knew i had it if you came to any of his shows where
people were in close proximity no i kept my distance yeah you didn't you didn't speak also
i didn't know i didn't know if it was covid so it's not your fault you can't be fucking blamed
i'm tired it makes a lot more sense knowing now that i'm testing positive like
it definitely was like i was waking up every morning being like dude my air conditioning
is fucking killing me it's like now i think i was just actually really sick every day you're like
it's so weird how it's a new symptom yeah i'm like dude i'm waking up with a different symptom
every day like what is this air conditioning doing to me it's drying out
all the air air conditioning's attacking me at night i was just very ill like a venus fly trap
dude it's just a silent killer from within my room yeah but it was just covid so what'd you do
the entire time just sat at home and fucking crushed power anything dude crushed apex no i
didn't have a playstation no console no console. You don't travel with your console?
I remind the hotels. You don't even have
a console. What dude? What do you have like a Wii U?
Yeah no I got a 64.
No. Yeah I
people who bring their shit to
hotels and I feel like it's like often like
NFL players.
Yeah but they also probably have like a
specific console for the road.
Or like there'll be hotels
where it's like prominently like you have like the plug-in like right there underneath the tv
like they're like encouraging you to game at their hotel they probably just don't want you
fucking in there it's like oh if you're gaming you're definitely not fucking yeah i just like
wouldn't want like i also wouldn't even want to play video games on that big of a tv yeah facts
i need my shit to look like kitchen television yeah it needs to be like a laptop size laptop Like I also wouldn't even want to play video games on that big of a TV. Yeah. Facts.
I need my shit.
It should look like kitchen television.
It needs to be like a laptop size.
Laptop size.
I need like a long TV.
That's how you get the good graphics.
Yeah.
Facts.
Nice and tight.
Compact graphics.
Yep.
The fucking aspect ratio.
It actually is game changer.
I remember when I first switched over to a monitor instead of a big ass TV.
Yeah.
You were breaking your neck looking back and forth like the fucking happy Gilmore final scene.
Yeah.
One of my buddies plays PlayStation on like a fucking mounted TV,
like 20 feet away from him and he sucks.
It's probably why.
It is why.
And he used to be good.
If you could just lean forward.
Boy fell off.
That shit sounds tragic.
He did.
And he plays more than all of us. So much hurt in your heart when you said that. He used shit sounds tragic. He did, and he plays more than all of us. There was so much hurt in your heart when you said that.
He used to be good.
He did.
He used to be the best, and now he's the worst.
Poor guy.
Does he know, dude?
I mean, just tell him.
Tell him that that's why.
Oh, he knows.
Get him a monitor.
Yeah, just get him a tiny ass.
He can get himself a monitor.
Why not help him out?
You see a friend in need, you let him fucking drown, dude.
Just reach your hand out and fucking pull him out.
Monitors are cheap, dude.
You have the funds.
They're like 80 bucks.
You're flush, dude.
No.
You make that in fucking 30 seconds of stand-up.
It's true.
Oh, I got a stomach ache.
I'm gonna fart.
Mic it up, bro.
Oh.
Was that it?
That was a shit.
That wasn't even a fart.
Could be good for the show if you just fucking shit all over the place.
We'd get a good laugh out of it.
Yeah, I'm fucking exhausted.
Dude, I was going to say how far into the episode until we find out how tired you are.
I'm very tired.
I was planning on doing it when you go for your inevitable bathroom break halfway through.
I'll be like, yo, Owen, how soon do you think Sass is going to talk about how tired he is well because it was like i i didn't have a vacation because i was locked in my
room the whole time you were resting so hard yeah so then i was like so then yesterday i like went
hard because i was like well i'm gonna enjoy my last day right first day out of core it makes my
skin crawl when people say core i threw up a shit ton last night. From drinking? Yeah, but it was like a bad throw up.
It was all food.
Ew, dude.
Yeah.
What are you having some awful famous New England seafood?
I had a chicken, buffalo chicken wrap.
And that was in my stomach for probably 10 minutes.
Damn.
Then it came straight back up.
You got a weak ass stomach.
Fell asleep aggressively.
And then I woke up and it went explosive diarrhea.
So it's been a rough couple hours for me. Damn we should sleep a wink on the train long train ride two four hours my heart
goes out to you yeah uh ron europe looked amazing thank you yeah it looks like you had a hell of a
vacation yeah my time was fucking incredible yeah it gave me a whole new appreciation for like life
dude i felt like so incredibly fucking thankful for everything going on in my life actually it sounds like the
polar opposite of what you were going through sound like you were going through a fucking
silent self-imposed hell how much is it what did they say about life like you get like you get what
you deserve almost oh something like that how much does a vacation like that cost? Like $20 million? Let's just say it'd be like
a year worth of stand-up.
Yeah. Jesus, dude.
That was crazy.
You did not do what you said
you were doing. You made it seem like you were just going
to a city.
At no point were you in a city.
I was in Barcelona.
You were in mountains.
You were sailing boats on the top of mountains. Was I supposed to, I was in Barcelona. You were in like mountains with like, you were like sailing boats on the top of mountains.
It was fucking, but was I supposed to come in here and fucking brag about it and be like,
I'm about to go on the fucking sickest trip ever.
It's going to be so fucking dope.
We try and be honest with our listeners.
Yeah.
I mean, I just find it unbecoming when people are like, uh, like bragging about how sick
something's going to be.
I don't.
Yeah.
No.
Someone's like this.
I just, I'm building this fucking house.
I'd rather you tell me than lie to me and try and downplay your vacation for us poor folk.
I thought it would make you feel bad.
No, I would have been pumped for you.
Would you have?
Seems like you're fucking green with jealous rage right now.
No, I'm not.
It looks insane.
Seems like you're seething.
No, it looked fucking dope.
Rowan posted like a bunch of, Rowan is posting a bunch of stories
on Instagram
and then his wife posted a story
and I didn't notice it switched people.
I just kept on thinking
I was clicking through the same stories.
And like she posted a picture of like a book
and I replied and I said,
no way in hell that you've read a page of that book.
Thinking he was going to Rowan.
And she like burst into the room crying. And then I clicked on it. She was like, why is this? And like my heart fell to Roan. And she like burst into the room crying.
And then I clicked on it.
And my heart fell to the floor.
I was like, no.
Sash just called me illiterate.
And then I instantly unsent it and then texted
Roan and apologized.
No, you honestly didn't have to unsend it at all.
And it's actually like low-key creepier
that you unsent it.
She'll never see it.
But that's like you don't want Roan to find out and she also didn't want her to see there's an
unsent message she could see that you sent something that was probably inappropriate
and so it's like if she's assuming something's inappropriate in her mind you might as well let
her know that it was like about like being illiterate instead of some fucking i just like
can't imagine if i didn't notice that and I just left it there
and she just opens up Instagram
and it's like,
no fucking shot,
you even cracked this book open.
It's so wildly out of pocket.
I know.
Dumb bitch.
She's just enjoying it.
No way in hell.
No way in hell you can read this book.
You can't fucking read.
You're a monster, dude.
Fucking pussy.
I felt like a monster.
Just lit her the fuck up yeah she um
she was going through it because she uh she lost all of her bags when we flew from barcelona we
flew from i flew into barcelona was there for like two days barstoolona oh swagger the goat bro
walk it off 12 minute pod for real bro we could just end it right there
just throw the ad reads at the
but uh it was
we went from Barcelona to Nice for two days
or like we were in Barcelona for two days and when we got to Nice
all of her luggage was gone
and she was fucking going through
did you lose your luggage too?
no I had everything
she had no outfits and I was just like fucking
I had everything that I ever wanted
she was wearing like sweatpants.
I'd imagine like the outfits are very planned as well.
Dude, for months.
Yeah.
Like.
Especially girls.
Yeah.
They plan like down to the socks.
Yeah.
It was insane.
Especially for a trip to Europe.
She had the most extravagant socks ever.
You got to be throwing fits in Europe.
Frilly ass socks.
And they look right at the socks.
Yeah.
What the lack thereof. They don't wear many. many no they're not wearing that that many socks out there and it was not you can't you have to dress yeah like you can't even get into places they were
like dudes were walking up with fucking shorts on and they were fucking laughing them away yeah you
can't wear shorts i mean you could wear shorts in like the like the pictures that i saw you wearing
shorts like when you're when you're on that yacht sailing it through the rivers of Venice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You could have worn shorts in that environment, but you can't wear shorts like when you're
in the city.
Yeah.
I literally saw people.
They laugh at you.
There was a big crowd in like the fucking.
Little boy.
Yeah.
In this French square.
And I was like, what's going on?
They were fucking hanging two dudes for wearing shorts.
It was a public execution of some
dudes just because they had worn some shorts now we went into some club that were like the fucking
uh they like fetishize american culture and they're like fuck it they saw your videos that
you're posting for that the dudes are like they they think like the super bowl in uh like san
trope they think like the super bowl is like the dopest global event. And so every fucking bar has
like pictures of like hot ass models
wearing like diamond studded shoulder
pads. They're just, but
you couldn't wear shorts into those places.
It was, I mean, you can't wear shorts into
clubs in New York. Yeah.
I wonder why. I wonder what's
so fucking, I guess you just look like a fucking
goofy broke bitch with fucking shorts
on. I guess.
I love wearing shorts.
Same.
I love it too.
That kind of fell off in COVID, I feel.
But like when I would try and get into bars in the city in like high school, it was, you couldn't wear shorts because it would like give away that you weren't working.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wonder, like, I guess, yeah, just the youth wear shorts.
Yeah.
What about on planes?
You guys wear shorts on planes?
Because I was doing it too too but then i'd sit down
and my shit would like ride up and my fucking i would just i mean my legs would be like sticking
to the back of these fucking yeah i wore shorts on the train today and i had to get up multiple
times and readjust yeah yeah and then you like pull into a city and especially in europe and
you're either in shorts or like some fucking sweatpants but the alternative is what you have
to fucking dress like fancy for the plane.
Some people used to do that.
People used to go on planes and wear like full suits like everyone.
Yeah.
That Titanic was black tie.
Yeah.
It's like all special.
Yeah.
They weren't wearing shorts on the Titanic.
No, that's fucking.
I mean, that's not a single pair of shorts on that thing.
People are they all drown because their pants all filled up with water.
Yeah.
They weren't wearing fucking flood.
Everyone knows you can't swim in jeans. My hasn't worn shorts he says since he was like 12
really yeah do you even know what his legs look like no they're probably ugly as fuck i know
they gotta be gross at this you probably have some varicose ass fucking it's very close legs dude
they're fucking disgusting but it was uh dude it was lovely are you feeling the jet lag at all
no not at all you snapped back
quick yeah i was i just smelled when i woke up i don't know what was going through my fucking body
but i just fucking stunk i just had fucking pheromones pouring out of my body did you did
you get back yesterday i flew back yesterday you didn't get any jet lag no i like this one
just can't be possible i just stayed up till like 11 fucking just like got a
normal 8 hours of sleep
and uh
just woke up
and was good to go
that's crazy
yeah it was
it was weird
I got more jet lag
on the way out there
uh
I fucking hate
flying into like a
a city
like flying into Europe
and you just have to
fucking
you can't go to your hotel
for like the first 7 hours
of the day
so you just fucking stink
like a fucking airplane
you're awake for like 24 hours.
You're just sweaty and fucking gross.
And like you're supposed to be taken in these beautiful sights
and you just are the crankiest little bitch.
Yeah, because you get there at like 8 a.m.
Just being a dick to hotel workers for no fucking reason.
They're trying to help you.
They don't have fucking American amenities.
No, they suck.
Yeah.
There was fucking a lot of bidets out there, though.
Yeah, yeah.
Just blasting my asshole with water. Clean ass. Fuck, a lot of bidets out there though yeah yeah just uh blasting my asshole
clean ass clean ass fuck a lot of seafood dude some of it was fucking gross dude some of it was
fucking nasty you eat anything like really exotic uh i ate the the face of a veal oh veal face dude
so veal's a baby cow and they were just serving up the fucking face of it yeah i don't like that
at all yeah it was gross it feels like sick that's just like the most yeah it feels weird that you would even
it was that entertain the idea of that it was at the nice no i don't know and they called it
something weird like baby's breath or something like they kill the cow in front of you and then
just skin it dude they at another place they had a they were serving baby chicken and like they
fucking they brought out the chicken like dangling from like it looked like baby chicken, and they brought out the chicken dangling from—
What do you mean baby chicken?
It was on the menu.
It said baby chicken.
So it was tiny.
And they're tiny.
It was this big.
And they brought it out, and it was like a fucking tent pole, like a hangman thing.
And it was just dangling from it.
They wanted to show it to us, and it was fucking swinging back and forth it was preposterous they're fucking sickos over there but the baby
cow cheek was like a dude who's like one of the great it was like 2019 like chef of the year like
the place was supposed to be incredible and i went there with such high expectations and like
every bite was like hard because you bought that hard to eat maybe you should have gotten something
more normal no it was like there was nothing normal on the whole menu was just baby cow cheeks it was pre it was like uh it was like there were
two uh course pairing you could get it was like four courses and like you could either pick this
one or this one and the first one was like fucking anchovies like some fucking weird ass fish and
then the fucking baby cow like was the anchovies and the fish good at least the anchovies really
tasted like anchovies the fish was good it was? The anchovies really tasted like anchovies. The fish was good.
It was John Dory.
The fucking.
And then it was like baby cow.
Baby cow cheek.
Yeah.
But it was like the most high class fine dining.
Like the chef came out and shook our hands afterwards.
Like I've never felt more like they could smell the American on us.
Oh yeah.
Like oh where are you from?
Yeah.
Did you have any good wine or any beer?
I don't know what good wine tastes like.
I don't think I could pick good wine out of a lineup.
It looks like you were drinking good wine in that video.
But what is good wine, though? I don't even know what good wine is.
Dude, I feel like wine is such a fucking scam.
I haven't had wine in like ever.
I've had wine once and I hated it.
Yeah.
Not my thing.
Not my style.
I don't think that there's like that much of even as i've had like a decent amount of wine in my life and like i feel like well first of all they sell a 15 bottle of
wine or 14 for like 115 they'll just up charge like 100 because you're american no it's like
on the menu but you look at a menu you're like oh this has to be super nice and then you like
google it and it's like fucking whispering angel like yeah they literally do and it's always like
fucking stinky fucking shit really expensive out there uh, they literally do. And so it was like fucking stinky,
fucking shitty wine.
Is shit really expensive out there?
Some places it is.
In some places it was unreasonably cheap.
Yeah, I'd expect things to be cheaper.
Like in Barcelona,
like you could get a fucking crazy,
like world-class meal for not that much money.
But then you went to France
and they're just fucking breaking your back.
Well, where'd you go in France?
You go to Paris?
Paris? No, no Paris. You went to Northern? No, the fucking breaking your back. Well, where'd you go in France? You go to Paris? No.
Paris?
No, no Paris.
You went to Northern?
No, the South.
South, Southern?
Nice.
So like Nice, Saint-Tropez.
I went to Monaco, which is like its own city.
Very nice.
Damn.
How was Monaco?
It was fucking-
That's a bucket list for me.
Yeah, it was super.
You would love it on some casino shit.
It was just like a fucking brilliant, beautiful casino.
Yeah.
Does F1 go through there, right?
It was a brilliant casino out there. Stunning. Dude, beautiful casino. Yeah. Does F1 go through there, right? There's a brilliant casino out there.
Stunning.
Dude, it is.
I would just like,
because I didn't,
everyone speaks English over there,
so I would just try to like speak in like.
Yeah, they probably hated you.
No, they didn't.
It was dope.
Um,
me gusta.
Play-doh here, Albania.
That's our ball.
Yeah.
I would just like speak in-sounding grunts.
Me gusta wine.
No, I was super self-conscious when I got to France
because I thought that everybody would be very judgmental
of my stupid American ass,
but they're relieved because they all speak English,
so as long as you're not speaking Russian or some shit,
or some language that they're not familiar with, they all speak english so as long as you're not like speaking like some like russian or some shit like yeah like some language that they're not familiar with they all have like
perfect english and even when i went to places like a supermarket or whatever i could just i
got by on just like grunts or like yeah oh yeah we'll grab that for you he wants a suitcase yeah
i've heard that uh i've heard that like in italy Italy, I think they appreciate if you try
to speak Italian. Yeah.
I think that's a thing, right?
Maybe. Merci.
I just have not...
I can count. I can yes or no.
I can go, je m'appelle Adam.
It's good that you can count. That probably comes
in handy a lot. Yeah.
I want four baguettes.
Trace baguettes.
Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.
Couldn't you just do like two?
Two.
Do they not do the same number system as we do?
Yeah, that was my giveaway that I was an American.
It was like in Glorious Bastards.
Très schnapps.
No.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't even have that many.
I'm trying to think of like crazy fucking wacky stories that happen.
You drink a lot out there?
You get fucked up?
Yeah, or I just drank every day.
And then like eventually I was like, all right, today I'm not going to drink.
No, or I don't know.
They just like walk around a lot.
They're just like walking.
Yeah.
It was fucking, I don't know, dude.
It's fucking.
They don't really binge drink out there.
No, they just kind of consistently drink all day.
Yeah.
It was nice.
And their nighttime is calibrated.
They start their night, especially in Spain, way later.
You get your dinner reservation at fucking 11 o'clock.
I watched The Talented Mr. Ripley.
Yeah?
With Matt Damon?
Yeah, I felt like I was there with you.
What is that movie?
Because I saw that on the plane.
I was about to click on it. It's in Italy.
Oh, it's in Europe.
What is he doing?
What is he like?
He's like really smart or like hot or something?
No, he just like murders a bunch of people.
Really?
They say he's a con artist, but he's not.
He's just a serial killer.
Is he like the Tinder swindler?
Like, no.
I don't know. It's a a serial killer. Is he like the Tinder swindler? Like, no, I don't know.
It's a weird ass movie.
What is he doing?
He just like kills a bunch of people.
I feel like he like becomes some other dude.
And just pretended to be,
oh,
he like,
he becomes Jude Law.
Oh,
huh.
And he kills him.
And he's just running around Europe,
killing people.
But like,
he doesn't kill
anyone until like an hour and a half in the movie into the movie and so you thought he was a good
guy no you know he's weird like you know he's weird but then like out of nowhere he just like
snaps and just starts killing everybody i can't see mad damon's short ass killing anybody dude
no it's an old movie too it's right after go Go Bill Hunting. I think it's like 97. Yeah.
Damon was just getting fucking hits.
And he plays a gay man.
He plays a gay man, which is a little off.
Like he went from being Boston scumbag.
He went from being the man to being gay.
That's what Pat did as well.
Yeah, pretty much.
It's the Barstool Pat story.
The Pat McCullough story.
Fucking Boston to gay.
Yeah. It's the pipeline. 60 seconds. Yeah. The Pat McCullough story. Fucking Boston to gay. Yeah.
It's the pipeline.
In 60 seconds.
Yeah.
It really is.
Boston doesn't really have gays like that.
He's like one of the only ones.
That's why he had to get out.
Who are other gays from Boston?
No, they got gays in Boston.
Do they? I don't know.
I don't know anyone, dude.
No big gays.
No, like super gay dudes.
Yeah.
Closeted. There are definitely gay dudes. Yeah. Closeted.
There are definitely gay dudes that can like fight.
Yeah, probably.
Gay boxing league.
Yeah, they're not like the typical gay people.
Which is.
What do you mean?
Yeah, go ahead on that.
I don't know.
The floor is yours.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
Are you getting tired from farting, dude?
Dude, like, it's just, I'm just.
Is the energy in your gas? I'm just the least healthy person on the planet, dude.
Yeah.
You need to hit, you need to fucking.
I need to get back in the gym.
You need to hit it with me, bro.
Yeah, let's hit it.
Let me fucking, let's, let's.
Would you do a Pilates class with me?
I'd run the Pilates class with you.
I don't think you would.
I would. But I gotta, like, you? I don't think you would.
I would.
I got to like get I got to like get my shit together before you do Pilates or just do it with Pilates.
Why don't you just get in the fucking Pilates class and do it before I went over there?
I was going like a bunch of days in a row.
So you got to like go, but you got to like warm up before you go to that class.
Is that like you got to be like you got to like accept?
No, I was.
Dude, there's fucking like 400 pound people in the class oh really yeah you'd fit right in yeah all right all right i'm kidding
go easy go easy on me roasting session with your fat ass no i'm kidding uh there was a dude i was
in uh when i was in san trope there's all these fucking yachts lined up and fucking along the like the main strip like there's like literally like 50 million 50 million and you and they're
just like as people are walking out so there's like beggars literally lining up among these
fucking yachts that's a smart thing to do but they're not like fucking like new school beggars
who are like just asking like shaking a cup at at you. The dudes were like literally begging. A guy was like on all fours.
Oh, yeah.
They do that.
They do that.
Holding a fucking bowl up or whatever.
They also swindle you.
But he was in a perfect plank, dude.
He was in his fucking core.
He looked like he was in some Pilates, dude.
It was a feat of strength.
I fucking blessed the guy with a bunch of money just because he was fucking.
Oh, damn.
How much did you give him?
He yoked.
One dollar.
One US dollar.
Yeah.
You see this, son?
They like swindle the fuck out of you out there.
The beggars?
Yeah, they come up to you and like, they make you think you're like best friends.
And they're like, oh, America.
Oh, I love America.
I went to America when I was in high school.
And then like, they'll give you some shit and they'll be like,
alright, give me some fucking money.
You owe me. Have a bite of
my ice cream. Some dude gave us these
rope bracelets and then we
tied them around us. Yeah, try it on!
Yeah, and he was like, oh, these are for you.
My best friend. Yeah, my brothers. These are for you.
And then he was like, alright.
All of a sudden the accent just disappears.
Alright, give me some fucking cash
pay up
give me some cash
you stole those from me
and then we were like oh I don't have any cash
and he's like alright give them back
I swear to god
and it happens like all the time
chased?
you said you got chased by a canyon?
you keep up?
you outran a canyon?
Yeah, that seems unlikely.
That whole story's a lie.
These slow-ass canyons. You lost me at the outrunning the canyon.
You didn't get chased by a canyon.
Maybe a sprint, but definitely not a marathon.
It wasn't a chase.
They were jogging and you were sprinting.
You stole a wooden elephant from a Kenyan beggar?
Damn.
Let's rob this fucking Kenyan beggar.
Yeah, let's rob this dude on the street.
Get him, get him. He's a mark.
You ever see the dudes in Rome who shoot up the light up things into the sky?
Yeah.
And then they'll pickpocket you while you look up at it.
Really?
Yeah.
You keep the wall in the front pocket?
They were saying that.
You probably had
like security guards
and shit with you.
Yeah, we were flanked
by fucking
two beefy fucking Europeans.
Wherever the fuck you guys were.
You guys had like dudes
with AKs around you.
It was fucking dope.
The Ferones are in town.
I want to make
like the fucking president
or whatever.
Do they have a president in? No, not even. What do they call it? The president or whatever do they have a president
in
no not even
what do they call it
king
no they have a president
they have a king
a dude named Macron
and in uh
fucking
in Monaco they have a king
a prince
really
yeah they just have a fucking
did you guys get to meet the prince
you like kissed your guys feet
he had us as a
as an audience
the Ferons
the Ferons are here
excuse me
uh
prince what's his name the prince of monica
is that who you're talking about the prince of monica would like to speak to him
like a police escort with the fucking uh he wants to battle you
a great honor the prince is going to come out if you beat him you become the prince
that's how he became yeah yeah that's how you become prince of monaco
when we were on the boat they were telling us uh we're like who's like most obnoxious like who's
the most obnoxious tourist that that you have to come through and uh like uh he was like the
russians by far are like the most he's like i'll have five-year-olds on the boats and like the
russians are so like indoctrinated
to hate fucking americans by like the propaganda that like another boat will go by with like an
american flag and there'll be like five-year-old kids on the boat like really like fucking like
real guns or just no no no like with finger guns just be like we're gonna fucking shoot these
fucking americans they do not that i guess the the i don't know how that correlates to them being scumbags but maybe he was just trying to shine up fucking scumbags
disrespecting the flag no one fucking hates the country of fucking joe and hunter biden bro
has some fucking respect the goat yeah hunter biden's rules no i said that today and then
people started sending me pictures of him like getting massaged by like seven year olds yeah
yeah that shit was weird i'm just trying to gas up his crack and prostitution used dude i'm not trying to get just them doing
the video with the 10 crack commandments behind it you see that that's what i was that's what i
was referencing by saying it was a fan awesome like that was the video like the 4chan people
made i think yeah like well do you if you listen the argument between him and the prostitute was about whether the crack rock was 2.06 or 2.07.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That rules.
And on there it said like 20.
It was like 20 point something.
They were arguing about something.
20 grams or milligrams.
I don't know.
Yeah.
It couldn't have been 20 grams unless crack is like heavy as fuck.
It must have been two grams.
I would have never guessed that people doing that much crack were paying that much attention.
To 0.1 milligram?
There's got to be.
Maybe it's just the crack that they're already on.
Babe, where the fuck did you put half of my milligram of crack?
Yeah, they're definitely like crack heads definitely getting like physical boxing matches over like assuming the other one like stole or hid crack.
Why do all these famous people who are like or like i don't even
know i wouldn't call hunter biden famous like i guess powerful people it's pretty famous yeah but
like not like so he's not like a celebrity yeah yeah he's a politician's son yeah why why do they
all insist on recording and documenting every single legal thing that they're doing yeah i
wonder who it's why is he in the back him he's like in the bath recording himself smoking crack on like photo booth on his laptop maybe sending
it to other crackheads that he's like trying to fuck yeah take out this pole yeah like if you're
decent hit decent smack huh yeah and then he's like pope recording videos himself with like a gun
you see those ones and that's badass maybe he was just like hoping the mixtape would get created someday like me taking my vacation uh videos like hoping that i could put a tiktok
montage together sometime but if you were doing something like highly illegal wouldn't you be
like hey maybe we just don't do the phones for now let's keep the phones out i think he probably
knows he'll get away with everything because his dad's the president but he wants to make daddy
like mad yeah yeah it's true
rebellious or like he's drunk with power
or do you think that he's like trying to fight
against I definitely see him as like a Chet Hanks
type figure
yeah just using
the Jamaican accent
Chet Hanks posted like a video the other day
of like his like he's promoting his workout
thing and he's like being sober is just
the tip of the iceberg he's like you need to be jacked as a man you must be jacked i'll play it for you it's
hilarious he's not lying though dude he's like you know you want to be jacked as a man you need
to be jacked we need to be jacked we need 20 grams grams of crack. Here it is.
This is the tip of the iceberg. We have to do more.
If you're a man, we have to get fucking jacked.
We have to get fucking jacked.
You're a man. You know that you want to be fucking jacked.
You know you want to walk around with the utmost
confidence at all times.
That's how we're meant to feel.
We're meant to walk around
with the utmost supreme confidence being
comfortable in our skin because we fucking have put in the fucking work being sober it's just
is he lying that's kind of spitting i'm trying to think who he like sounds like when he talks
like he's like a weird ass fucking speaking cadence that's very tom hanks but no it's not
tom dude it's someone else dude it's it dude. It's a very familiar feeling, speaking cadence.
But yeah, he's just like-
How much money do you think he has in the bank?
I bet his workout program is doing surprisingly well.
And apparently it costs like $300 a month.
I just remember when he tried to flex with money,
he had like an oddly specific amount of money.
Because I got $750,500.
When he did Rediscovering America,
they had to pay him $1,000 just for him to go,
it's jet.
Yeah, out of pocket.
Yeah.
And he was like nickel and diming.
Like, I feel like people who are famous in some ways,
like they're like weirdly poor
or like they don't have money.
I don't get how people make money.
Like all of these like TikTok kids, they where's their money coming from they're all like rich as fuck
and if and if the answer is brand deals like where where are brands getting money where who is paying
for everything we don't get any like i don't get i've never been once in my life reached out to a
brand like until i came to barcelona for the podcast like i've never been once in my life reached out to a brand like until I came to Barstool like for the podcast.
Like I've never been like, oh, can you do a swipe up for us?
And will they just pay you?
And these people are like, hey, we're going to we'll give you 10 million dollars to fly to Jamaica with us and wear this bathing suit.
Yeah.
I guess I'm just not hot enough for that kind of shit.
So that makes sense.
It really does just come down to being hot.
Yeah.
That's like the ultimate, like-
If you're hot and you're poor,
that's-
Even within white privilege?
You have a big problem.
Yeah, like those are two different-
Parts of privilege within white privilege.
And that's like hot privilege-
Not even just white, dude.
And rich privilege.
If you're hot and you're poor,
like figure some shit out.
But if you're hot and you're poor,
yeah, there's no excuse.
Start posting abs on Snapchat or something.
Yeah, if you're poor, like, yeah,
if you're hot, like there's no excuse to not have money. Yeah. Like you can get into some money. Oh, easily. Like if you're poor like yeah if you're hot like there's no excuse to
not have money yeah like you can get into some money like if you're just ugly as fuck you just
dm people okay i want to be the fate to get it like take a selfie and send it to like fucking
i don't know nike so you have no respect for like a rugged surfer living simply but he's a really hot
dude no zero respect because he could be making millions of dollars on the side for just like, bitch.
Yeah, just like posting a little dance video on TikTok.
Just peel off your wetsuit.
Yeah.
Take a slow-mo of you peeling off your wetsuit and that's $10 million in the bank.
No tax.
Probably straight cash.
Yeah, you could just fuck.
I have no respect to anybody who's not using it fully.
Yeah.
Just busting it open. That's not true, dude. Not hot enough, clearly. who's not using it fully. Yeah, but Rome's hot.
That's not true, dude. Not hot enough,
clearly. That's not true at all, dude.
No one's fucking ever... You have to be stunning.
You have to be turning heads
in Times Square.
Or people also...
Rich people wind up just
looking real interesting.
They'll have the ugliest outfit on, but
it'll all be like dior
and it'll be like gavinci and shit like that yeah brunello cuccinelli and it's like that looks
stupid as fuck rich people are way less cool than hot people though like hot people just make
everything look cool that they're doing i think hot people are way i mean well i don't think
either one of them is that fucking i think i think like the ugly people who are rich as fuck and wear
like those fits where it's like just head toe designer shit and they look like someone just threw a bunch of random shit in a closet at them and was like, put this on.
They look like fools.
Hermes shit or some crazy Gucci shit.
You got to know where you're at.
I know, okay, hoodie and shorts.
I'm never going to try and pull off anything.
I'm just going to try and dress the most plain as possible.
My brother in Christ, you were wearing zip-up windbreaker pants for three weeks in a row.
That's not a pull-off.
That was because these are comfortable and I don't own that many pairs of pants.
I want people to be able to hear me from three blocks away.
I want people to know I'm coming.
What the fuck?
And have a calling card when I'm around the corner.
I still will wear them too.
You pulled them off as well.
Yeah, you did.
You pulled them off as well. Yeah, you did. You pulled them off hard.
I tried to go to Monaco and like, dude, I thought I was like, you can't, you just can't
pull up in anything less than like a fucking nice ass car.
And even if you have a nice car, like I pulled up in a Mercedes, dude, I rented the nicest
car I've ever rented in my life.
Damn, dude, you were balling.
And I, no, no, I looked so fucking broke, dude.
I looked so fucking poor.
They sent me to another valet because I didn't have the fucking nice ass Monaco cars, dude.
The loud ass, ostentatious.
Someone needed to humble your ass.
The conversations that people were having by the pool, they're like, yeah, the 78 vintage is one of the best that you'll ever have.
They're screaming it.
The Ferrones just pulled up in a Benz.
How cute. How cute.
How cute of them.
Oh, they are back to their roots.
Very humble,
Mr. Ferron. The C-Class.
It was fucking, it was devastating.
I don't know, you took the cleaning ladies car.
Do you remember when people used to post that shit and be like,
it would be like when Instagram first to post that shit and be like, it would be like when
Instagram first became a thing, people were like,
this is what the cops drive
in Miami.
Like a Lamborghini with like fucking
cop decals on it.
I remember, I thought that was real.
Is it not? No.
I thought it was real. They probably just drive the
same fucking cop cars that everyone drives. I thought there was some
No, no, In Dubai, maybe.
Don't they?
In Dubai, maybe they have sweet-ass cars?
Maybe.
Some cops have, like, Mustangs, I think.
Yeah, I think it was Mustangs or something like that.
You boys are falling into the fucking social media trap.
Shut up, bro.
You dumb motherfuckers.
No one's ever got sass before.
He's fucking ungettable.
He knows everything that can fake.
He's a truffle pig.
What are you eating?
I'm eating fucking bird seeds right now.
You should have went on lowering the bar, dude.
I ate that fucking balut egg right before this.
Did they already do that?
They did it for the Barstool Idol contestants.
Who won that, Tommy?
Caroline.
Barstool Idol.
You are tired.
I was thinking of the
Lowering the bar
Yeah
Did they do that for that too?
Tommy did win that
Tommy Tommy Tommy
Unbelievable
By fucking smokes
Everyone loves Tommy
Do you guys need better help?
I actually
I do
I'm in a fucking
Mental chamber right now
Torture chamber
I'm gonna sweet off
The shit right now
And I have to pee so bad
But I'm holding it now
Because you know
I'm gonna talk about Your tired ass Also yeah They And I have to pee so bad, but I'm holding it now. Because you know I'm going to talk about your tired ass.
Also, yeah, they asked for the mentally ill kid to be here for these weeks.
Yeah.
To stay for these months.
Let's get the kid who's probably going to kill himself soon.
All right.
Well, you won't probably because you have better hopes.
I never would do that.
And you actually can.
And I never would even be able to do that because of better hopes.
Oh, so you're better than the people who do it?
No.
Mandatory.
Oh, for the time.
Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp.
Ding.
How well would you take care of your car if you had to keep one your entire life?
That's how our brains work.
So why don't we treat them that way?
How we care for our minds affects how we experience life.
So it's important to invest time and care
into keeping them healthy.
I love BetterHelp because they've been able
to personally help me on a journey.
I signed up quickly and easily through their online app
and I was able to talk to a therapist right there and they didn't even have to look at my dumb ugly face.
I remember BetterHelp actually helped me on a journey very recently. I remember logging onto Instagram and I saw my co-host Ron in Europe on a beautiful vacation while I locked in my bedroom with COVID. I thought, why me, God?
Why me?
And then I downloaded BetterHelp.
It's much more affordable than in-person therapy,
and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.
Ron, why don't you tell them about that little deal that we got?
Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash sun.
It's a European vacation for your mind every time you log on to BetterHelp.
That's betterhelp.com slash sun.
And that's betterhelp.com slash sun.
10% off your first one we're assuming
that you guys know
how to spell better
but you guys cannot
spell help
so
it's better
H-E-L-P
dot com
slash sun
slash sun
and uh
check out better help
because that is
genuinely one of our
uh
sponsors that
I
frequently use
and they keep my mental right.
Sometimes I'll log on to the same
Instagram that you have, Sass,
and people saying ugly
ass shit to me.
Like I can only afford a Mercedes.
Yeah. And that I can't beat
the Prince of Monaco in a rap battle. Any Audis
out there? Any Audis? No.
A lot of Peugeot.
A lot of Fiats. And then people are just in monica dude
there's like a subclass of people in monaco who just come to like take pictures of the cars dude
they're just fucking you probably sell them for like a million dollars when i saw a dude who was
like taking a picture of every car this like skinny looking like 19 year old he looked like
he fucking spent every dollar that he could just to come and take like vertical uh videos of these
cars and one of the guys was like you want to ride
with me do you want to come in and he couldn't
have been happier in his life they could probably you can probably
finesse the fuck out of people if you're like an artist
in Italy what do you mean
like oh this Italian artist took
these pictures of cars
in Italy sell it to an American for fucking
$500,000 it is weird
that they just like post up there they like
park their cars just for people
to be able to take pictures of their shit i mean they do that in like la just pull up remember in
la you could like who is like you can like like people just pull up in like lamborghinis and
they're like yeah you want to pay ten thousand dollars to ride shotgun on this thing for five
minutes it was like it's american too you can go see the TikTok houses cruise the strip and fucking drive by Bryce's house
it's just I know my way around the hills
yeah Hollywood near a hotel
is depressing because yeah like if you had a
Benz SUV that was like
a shitty car yeah
it is tough like oh so you make
it but then you're just the poorest of the rich
yeah that's why it's way better to just
flex in small town America
like how Brandon Walker's doing it like going back to just flex in small town America. Yeah. Like how Brandon Walker's doing it.
Like going back to Mississippi with like a BMW.
Yeah.
They're like carrying the BMW.
His like furniture in his house is like poor Mississippians on their knees and hands.
He's going to have a moat around every bedroom.
He's in Mississippi for the rest of the month.
Yeah, with his fucking country rich ass.
How do you negotiate that deal?
Because he just talks about how many shows he does all the time.
That's true.
You've got to just count all the shows you've been on.
You've got to be like, oh, I was on the Lowering the Bar tournament and count that as one of your shows that you have.
I mean, I'm doing Barstool vs. America.
You were on Pardon My Take once.
No, I've never been on.
Didn't they give you an award? Oh, you were on it. Oh, once no i've never been on didn't they give you an award
oh you were on it oh yeah so that's one of your shows yeah constant contributor to part of my take
any of their success you can claim like one percent lights on that's like everyone here
everyone has that mindset yeah everyone thinks that they're working so hard little do they know
that like no one's working hard and none of us deserve anything that we have no it's a fucking joke i was struck by that multiple times we should all be homeless
yeah dude i i like deserve nothing that i have like that's all the fucking like the
overwhelming feeling as i was enjoying myself in the back of my mind it was just like i don't
deserve a good vacation it feels terrible that's better h-e if you have feelings of imposter syndrome or a lack of self-worth they'll be able to help you
with all those things they can iron out the kinks and get your mind right with fucking better help
hell yes bro we're going we should go on a vacay bro bro. It's time? I really do.
We'll chop it up.
Drink a bunch of water.
Is that what it was?
You haven't even finished your water, bro. I'm dehydrated.
That's like my third bottle in the last hour.
What the fuck does that mean, dude?
I got you, bro.
Oh, what'd you do all week?
I went to the World Series of Poker.
I did, yeah.
I flew to Charleston for a little bit and then went to Vegas.
You're such a Charleston head.
Yeah.
Ba-ba-doo.
What do you know about Southern Charm?
The show?
Yeah.
Is that Vanderpump?
No, but it's close.
It's the same family of shows.
What do you know about Vanderpump, bro?
My sisters and mom are obsessed with it.
They love that show?
Yeah.
They're all on the Housewives.
Yeah, it's like the only shows that I watch in my life.
Yeah, now one of my sisters lives down there, see she'll see the pumps or whoever's down there yeah
southern charm people yeah they're all just like fucking influencers who are now rich off like
selling pillows and socks yeah they're like millionaires off of it uh there was a vanderpump
uh restaurant in vegas actually oh really, really? Yeah. That fucking bitch, dude. She has fucking Boku bucks.
Yeah.
You know who has
six restaurants in Vegas?
Bobby Flay.
Does he?
He has a steakhouse,
a burger house,
a fish and chip house,
a taqueria,
and a diner.
What kind of places
were you eating
while you were out in Vegas?
Were you going to places
on the strip?
I guess that's the only way
you can go if you don't have
like a car.
Or I guess you could go
to places. First couple days, couldn't eat. only way you can go if you don't have a car. Or I guess you could go to places.
First couple days, couldn't eat.
Too nervous.
Really?
And then I gorged.
I just got burgers everywhere I could.
Just crushed a bunch of Bergies?
Yeah.
That's fucking sick.
Have you been to Vegas?
I've been a couple times.
It's not really for me because I'm not a club or a gamble.
I mean, I like to gamble, but I'm not like a sit at a table
for fucking like a ton of hours.
I'm more of like a sports gambling guy.
So I liked it for the first couple days
because I was gambling.
Yeah.
And then I was out of the tournament,
which was paid for by other people.
I didn't have money to gamble myself.
So I couldn't gamble anymore.
Not a club guy.
And then, yeah.
All of it just melts away.
And it's like, oh, it's kind of gross here then.
How many ciggies?
Not a lot.
Really?
Less cigarettes in casinos now than I have ever seen.
Everyone's vaping.
That's fucking wild, dude.
It was kind of a new set, actually.
In Europe, bro, that's where you need to go for the ciggies.
Everybody.
Small children, dude.
Man, rolls.
Nuns, dude.
Everybody is smoking cigs.
Indoors, at nice restaurants, people are smoking cigarettes. Yeah, fucking it absolutely seeing kids on like their lunch break having like a glass
of wine and a cigarette in like catholic school uniforms yeah playing basketball apparently in
europe like you can like get you can like get beer just like at the cafeteria of the school
really yeah like straight up some schools like sell beer it's dope it's hard as fuck like straight up. Some schools like sell beer. It's dope. It's hard as fuck. Like straight up.
Honestly, it probably works.
Straight up.
And you and your boys were hiding your jewel rips.
Yeah.
Were you?
You're just baby burning the jewel rips?
I need some deodorant.
Yeah.
Someone is stinky.
But you look fucking jacked though.
Is that a new sweatshirt?
Yeah, I bought this yesterday.
Where at?
Island Creek Oysters, the raw bar.
Yeah, let's just say me and my boys tore up the raw bar last night. Uh at? Island Creek Oysters. The Raw Bar. Yeah.
Let's just say me and my boys tore up the Raw Bar last night.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, trouble.
Shut the fuck up.
Are we drinking some nice porters?
No.
Some IPAs?
No, we're High Lifes.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Shout out to fucking High Lifes.
On draft.
Sponsor the fucking pod, Miller.
It's about damn time.
Yeah, we're losing sponsorships.
No, no.
Rapidly.
No, no, no.
It's that time of year. I think it's that time of year. Oh, it's rapidly no no no it's that time of year
it's just that time of year it's cyclical it's that time of year where they're kind of just like
pardon my take yeah we'll just do pardon my take yeah well they put the company on but we we
contribute to that show so you know that's basically an advertisement i won 19 year old
of the year so fact you believe that was two years ago you actually won that yeah i won the talkies award
damn what have you done since nothing you said the talkies award yeah that's what that's what
it's called right like the takeies i think oh i thought they called it the talkies are you talking
about the the snack talkies or like i don't know i thought it was like sponsored by talkies
no i think it's like the takeies like part of my take. Oh, okay. Makes more sense.
Like the Dundies, Dunder Mifflin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It makes more sense.
You shouldn't have won 19-year-old of the year, bro.
That shit was unjust, bro.
I wonder who won 21-year-old of the year.
Probably not you.
This year, you would have fucking known already,
unless it's still coming up.
No, I don't think the results are in yet.
Addison, maybe.
Is she still 21?
Is she? I thought she was older.
Did you see her new profile picture?
Dude, what country did they storm the...
No.
They shot a guy in Japan.
Oh, Shinzo Abe?
So what happened with that?
They shot a guy in Reno?
Didn't they in Sri Lanka or something?
No, they stormed Sri Lanka.
They stormed it in Sri Lanka so are we pro
storming capitals or are we anti storming capitals
because I feel like the same people who were like
January 6th was
like the darkest day in American history
are now like yo we're pussies in America
like we need to fucking run
the dude who smoked a joint outside the
Sri Lankan White House was a hero
oh I didn't see that I just saw the tweets being like
Japan has two guns and they can kill a politician but outside the Sri Lankan White House was a hero. Oh, I didn't see that. I just saw the tweets being like,
Japan has two guns and they can kill a politician,
but we can't.
Yeah.
You guys really want people
just murdering politicians?
We need to fucking kill SCOTUS.
Yeah.
We got to kill the...
I probably shouldn't even say it.
But that's like,
that is the energy that people have,
but it's just like the same exact people.
We respect the flag here.
Exactly.
Salute. Yeah but it's just like the same exact people we respect the flag exactly salute yeah it was uh just videos of people like lounging in the fucking sri lankan pool we're like sitting in their fucking white house i think it was like i think there's more because
the people that stormed the capital were like white supremacists i think that's kind of where
the dude these people were probably sri lankan supremacists It would be so funny if it was a bunch of white dudes in Sri Lanka.
The dude with the fucking bear headdress on,
smoking a doobie,
putting his feet up on...
He brought Pelosi's desk
to put his feet up.
Was it Stephen Colbert?
Is that his name?
Yeah.
Like half of his staff,
turned out they were all
Storm the Capitol.
And he's on the flight logs.
Is he?
Yeah. Wait, Colbert stormed the Capitol and he's on the flight log is he yeah
wait colbert stormed the capital and is on the flight logs but he still had the dancing vaxxers
bro oh i didn't know he was on the flight log colbert's on the flight logs his like whole his
whole staff they took like a they took like a field trip down to the fucking capital to storm
it could you at the capital storming have could you have been like i'm a journalist i'm filming
this yeah and like could you have just filmed it all and you're
scot-free? You don't count as someone who
or are they all getting thrown in jail?
That old lady who walked around clueless
and was like the meme. All she did
was walk around. And all the journalists did
was walk around. So what's the difference?
They're just like, oh, I'm an artist so I can be here. But these people
are terrible. I'm an artist.
I'm here for art reasons. Journalists are artists.
That's definitely how they see themselves.
Journalists suck so fucking bad, dude.
I fucking, I, for like three years at Penn State, I was on like the school newspaper.
Weren't you like a journalism major?
And I was like the outcast of the fucking thing.
They're like, we were, we had like a basketball team and we all like got jerseys and they
like made up nicknames.
And mine was like Doolittle.
They're like, fuck, do you like that you like that dude that rules fucking do anything you're getting
bullied in college by like the fucking fat like journalists who had like grease stains on their
fucking laps around you yeah they were that means that they that means that they had a meeting
without you and they were like let's give ron do little fucking do little yeah you never fucking
do any shit, that was.
So we're going to start calling you on the podcast.
Fucking Doolittle.
Yeah.
They fucking shit on me so fucking hard.
Doolittle.
That's an awesome nickname.
Smack my shit through.
I like.
It's not a good nickname to have, but it's a good one to give someone.
The sincere.
You got bullied in college.
What up, Stortlittle?
Bitch.
Doolittle. What's up, short stuff? What's little some short stuff some shrimp shrimpy yeah it was tough i was uh like at the at the newspaper like the two
main things because i was on the sports staff i wanted to be a sports writer so like you could
be a basketball writer now bro or the very very best is uh like now the headlines are about you
bro at penn state like being a football writer and Now the headlines are about you, bro. At Penn State, like being a football writer.
And like all I wanted to do was like write opinion pieces and shit like that so I could do some kind of creative writing.
Yeah.
And that's when I eventually became like over one summer, I stayed for a summer session.
So they're like, we'll give you a trial as an opinion writer.
And I wrote an article about how I thought that the president, my first opinion piece was how I thought the president of of penn state this dude graham spaniard was a weirdo i was like because he was in a he was in a band where he like
played uh he had like one of those like a washboard or whatever where you like have spoons and like
there's like little horns that you can squeeze and shit like that it was like 12 instruments at once
and i was like dude he's a fucking he has something to hide like he's he's an absolute fucking good
they publish it they and they're like you need to write something else like why don't you write about
and i was like no i just and i just reworked the piece and like submitted it again and they just
like basically gave the shit to somebody else three years later it came out that he was like
hiding the joe paterno shit oh really i hit the nail on the fucking head dude i was like this
dude's a weirdo and he's hiding something that's crazy they're like we can't print this dude this
is fucking unfounded you're like trump with hunter biden i was yeah where's hunter as a weirdo yeah smoking 20 gram rocks
yeah dude i fucking sniffed that shit out real fucking fast and they they swept it under the rug
those dirty fucking journalists impressive bro you should have you should have sent that shit
to the times i i really should have i was the first person to be on top of it dude i was fucking
dude journalists like movies though are so fucking cool that spotlight like all movies like that like
make me want to be a journalist i got the fucking story i got the scoop yeah how fast can we get
this published boston i like to imagine that's like barstool back in fucking milton doing the
smoke show of the day we just got we just got a in fucking Milton doing the smoke show of the day. We just got a fucking photo of...
Doing the smoke show.
When can we get this published?
We need Brady's son's dick on the front page.
I need this out now.
We just got a hot ass teacher fucking a 12 year old.
Fast track this.
But then you hear about the same people today.
And they're the people who are hunting down Dave and shit like that.
Yeah, it's true.
It's like weirdos with the axe to grind.
But then they find out that Elon Musk has 25 kids.
Yeah.
That Elon Musk is fucking Genghis Khan.
The fact that he was like, no, underpopulation is like-
Yeah, he's trying to help the underpopulation problem.
Dude, if we-
You could have just had two kids.
Or we could just like- You could have just had like two kids or like,
you could have said that was doing your part.
Just having kids.
Yeah.
Just like have kids.
Yeah.
Just don't not have kids.
Take care of any of them.
Or we could just like invite in any of the immigrants from like overpopulated countries.
Like there's like a fucking 12 billion people in India living in like a fucking sheltered slum.
That's just a lean to or whatever.
Like if we feel like we're underpopulated here, just like have some of them over and they'll fucking gladly come and suck up some of the milk and honey we got over here.
The fucking white picket fence is out here, bro.
But I'm fucking.
My money, my money.
I'm fucking.
No, you gotta cool out.
I'm a little bit too fucking based right now, bro.
Fucking spitting absolute fucking truths.
I watched this movie called uh rosemary's
baby on the fucking flight oh i've never seen that but i've heard of it what's it about uh the
clinton family oh yes yes it's about how it's like they it's like a how they're like satanists
uh like fucking cultivating a fucking young satan baby it's not actually about the clinton family
that's pizza gate right it basically is pizza before pizza. It's like what people like.
It's when people are like, there's fucking Satanist cults that the fucking politicians and like the doctors and fucking lawyers of America are in.
This movie is about like one of them actually being like a real thing.
A Satanist cult.
It's kind of fucking sweet, though.
It was kind of spooky.
I watched Terminal List.
You seen that?
No, what's that?
Rules.
What's it about?
A series, eight episodes.
Shut up.
Chris Pratt.
Pratt?
Fat Pratt or fucking jacked Pratt?
Shredded Pratt.
Ew.
His face is like a V.
Like his jaw is literally like pointy.
He's definitely on the same HGH as Kumail Nanjiani.
Coming at you or coming down?
What do you mean?
Where's that jaw pointing?
Yeah, is it coming out or is it down and out? Is he Sigma male? It's coming out. So he you mean? Where's that jaw pointing? Yeah, is it coming out
or is it down and out?
Is he Sigma male?
It's coming out.
So he's like a fucking...
Like handsome Squidward.
Like Lord Farquaad?
Yeah.
Like fucking...
But it actually was
a little unsettling at first.
Really?
Because he's like too jacked.
Yeah.
He's supposed to be...
He's supposed to have
a little chubby body.
I mean, he plays
like a military guy,
but like in Zero Dark Thirty,
he was like a chubby. He was a little, he
wasn't chubby. That's what I mean, like there's some military
dudes aren't fucking fully shredded. Like just because
you're in the military doesn't mean you have a six pack. Some
of us genetically just can't fucking get it, bro.
Some of us are just meant to be fucking
fatties. Some of us would have one,
but I just genetically can't. Some
people, dude, it is infuriating to see someone
who genetically has a fucking six pack.
These fucking lean ass Europeans. It's allans all my friends yeah it's all of my friends they do 10 times more than me
they don't exercise ever why is that and they're all just like ripped is it because their dads
and i'll drink like one beer at night and i'll wake up the next morning like 10 pounds heavier
and all in your fucking yeah yeah all to the All to the belly. Your airbag ass. Yeah. Your friends do weirdly have like marathon bodies.
Yeah.
They all do.
Yeah.
Every single person I know.
And they talk in riddles and questions.
Yeah, they do.
Actually, I noticed that when I was home and it was pissing me off.
Because you don't do it anymore.
No.
Yeah, you lost it.
Yeah, they all were doing it like aggressively.
You're like an Australian who came to the States and no longer has their accent though.
So you're going back to New York tomorrow?
Dude, you've come full circle.
I know.
You're making fun of old you now.
I know.
That's fucking crazy.
It was pissing me off.
Really?
Do you think that they'll know?
Maybe they need to get pods.
So are you recording your podcast tomorrow?
But it's not even on a question.
It's not even that.
Because it would make sense if it was a question.
It's like an excited thing and you run out of breath.
You got a bunch of oysters?
Wait, so how was the raw bar?
Wait, so how was the raw bar?
Imagine if it was that.
Can you please?
I feel like I like the oysters that I had in America.
I got some oysters in Europe, but you've been talking about those oysters you had yesterday
for a fucking long ass time.
I didn't have oysters yesterday, bro.
You just got the fucking sweatshirt.
You dumb motherfucker.
You fucking stolen valor pussy, bro.
That's how much this sweatshirt cost.
80 bucks.
No, 65.
So that's probably standard for a sweatshirt.
Inflation's a bitch.
Yeah, it is.
Fucking happening all over the world.
You know what I'm talking about.
Yes.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, it is, bro.
Do they even have inflation in Europe?
Do they even have money out there?
I was, it was.
Just paying like cigarettes.
I was walking around and being like, dude, there's not even fucking poverty out here.
But that would be like a rich french person going to like fucking
mon talk and being like america's beautiful yeah yeah it's fucking that's true there definitely
was no poverty where you were exactly i was like oh what dude european's awesome there's not even
like fucking chain restaurants this rules dude and then we go to homeless like everyone is doing
well in europe it's fucking crazy they're crazy literally no one is struggling in europe it's
dope dude we have to try it everybody on the yacht was making six feet at least there was
not one poor person on the whole fucking side of the mountain that we own at the entire casino
in our gondola there is no from the hollowed out mountain that we were staying in then you drive
by go to the airport there's people on like stacked mattresses sleeping under an overpass.
Fucking like an entire family.
Wait, didn't we talk about literal beggars?
Yeah.
On their hands and knees.
Yeah.
Yeah, bro.
Too far.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
They took that to the next level.
Now I have fucking severe, severe guilt over fucking.
Should have given them some freaking cash.
I did, dude.
Should have given them some cash.
I was giving anybody money that I could give it to.
That's how I was feeling.
I try to give money to...
If I have cash on it,
I always try to keep a little cash
just to fucking give someone.
Not because I want them to have it,
because I just feel good.
I keep one or two grand on me.
And I'm handing it out.
Just to give to the...
It's like the More Life video.
Or the fuck... What's the God's Plan video by video but yeah dude that's how sass lives his life yeah it's a shore life dude girls from you miami were like i was in i was in the back of the
yeah yeah yeah music video i never got the whole god's plan thing is like how like do the people
like it was always like drake would come and sit down next to them just like tap them on the
shoulder did they not notice like the 700 people like camera crew yeah it was always like Drake would come and sit down next to them, just like tap them on the shoulder. Did they not notice like the 700 people,
like camera crew?
Yeah.
It was all staged.
Crisis actor,
homeless people.
Yeah.
Who are fucking,
they're already getting paid like 30 grand just to be in the video.
Yeah.
We like see them in the background of like a major motion picture or something like that.
He's in the Marvel movies and the God's plan.
That would be hilarious.
Just struggling actors.
And it's like fake money.
Yeah.
It's not the fucking...
All right,
give that back.
Yeah.
It's like throwing it up
and raking it back.
That is fucking
basically what...
Drake's a sick mofo.
That's what Neistat does.
That's what Mr. Beast does.
Just fucking gives out
all his money.
Dude,
what is going on
with your throat today, bro?
Your throat's broken.
It's the fucking peanuts, dude.
They're all in my lungs. Maybe you're allergic to peanuts. Maybe it wasn't COVID. You have nuts with your throat today bro your throat's broken peanuts dude they're all in my in my lungs maybe you're allergic to peanuts maybe it wasn't covid you have nuts in your throat
yeah i got nuts in my freaking throat yeah bro it's fucking bullshit bro what else was i gonna
say there's something else i wanted to talk about when i was in the bathroom um fucking oh i'm gonna
be in philly oh yeah next week what day I think the 19th and the 20th, I believe.
Are you not going to be in the Yak and shit?
Oh, that's the weekend.
No, that's Tuesday and Wednesday.
What the fuck?
Taking a little vacation during the week?
No, I'm going to go up after the Yak on Tuesday, and then I might come back.
Yeah, it is pretty close.
It's only like an hour.
It's an hour train ride. Or hour six minute train ride if you get the come back. Yeah, it is pretty close. It's only like an hour. It's an hour train ride.
Or hour six minute train ride if you get the Acela.
Yeah.
But the way you fucking perform stand up though.
Were you playing Helium?
Oh, yeah.
Fuck yes.
I love the big show.
Yeah.
Playing.
Yeah, me and Colm.
I'm bringing Colm out with me.
Tyrell?
Yeah.
Shut the fuck up, dude.
He's driving us.
Dude, I saw him.
I'm going to drunk drive the whole way there.
Oh, really?
I'm not driving with him.
Why?
I don't trust him behind the wheel.
Do you think everybody's a bad driver, though?
A lot of people are.
I think I'm just a very cautious driver and a very good driver.
Very talented behind the wheel.
You think you're good at everything, though.
Am I not?
I think you're good at everything, too.
No, I'm just a cautious driver.
I don't like being in the car with Mike Wallace, per se.
Yeah.
I mean, he's genuinely an awful driver and should have his license revoked.
But some of us, when we came up, being a good driver was like getting from point A to point B the fastest.
Yeah, that's not me at all.
I think you just have to trust the driver.
Mike Wallace has his style.
It's safe for him.
He knows how to drive that way.
His style is almost dying every 30 seconds.
I remember on a car ride one time with him, we were like, I think we were driving from Philly to New York.
He's on the phone the entire time.
It was like a bridge that was going down to one lane.
And he like, fucking like, we were positive that we were going to, like the walls were closing in and he just zoomed past.
Like there could have just been a centimeter between where we snuck through.
But he was like, there was like, our other boy Zach Bielo was like way crazier.
He was like, if we ever had a heist crew, he would be the wheel man.
Dude, he could get out of fucking anything.
You wind up in some sticky situations.
I drove with my little sister the other day for the first time.
situations i drove with my little sister the other day for the first time and we told we turned out of our street and we're literally driving on the grass of like the main road and she's like
actively trying to put a song on i'm like let's just we'll just do no music i'd rather just make
it there alive sit there in silence yeah the driving age shouldn't be 16 should be 20 you
see 16 year olds like starting to drive should be should be 18. Yeah. 16 year olds should not be allowed to drive.
There should be no responsibility that you get at
16. Yeah. Yeah.
It doesn't make sense. They should lower like the
R rated movies down to 16 and then
they should make the license
18. Dude have you noticed that
or I feel like
on plane movies they used to not
show titties and now on every
plane movie there's like titties.
Dude, I saw a little boy dick on the plane.
What?
Yeah.
What flight logs?
No.
What's the name of the movie?
Hunter Biden?
What's the Robin Williams one?
Good Morning Vietnam?
Yeah.
There's a little boy dick in that?
Yeah.
What?
Like when they get to Vietnam, they're just showing little boys splashing and just showing
the poverty.
I don't know.
It was weird.
Back to the tits, though. No, no. It's fine. I the poverty. I don't know. It was weird. Back to the tits though.
No, no.
I did that.
I was on a plane.
I was watching some movie with a lot of nudity in it.
And I was very erect the entire plane.
Talk to me, Sassy.
And I was trying to sue the airline.
Because that is sexual assault.
If someone makes you hard, that's sexual assault.
Yeah. That it? It literally is. At least harassment. because that is sexual assault if someone makes you hard that's sexual assault yeah
that it literally is harassment at least harassment someone someone else arousing you
is fucking that is an unwanted biological reaction that they're forcing on your body
that should be fucking punishable like that's no but what that's why women shouldn't be able
to wear open-toed shoes yeah what i had to had to do was, every time they would show nudity,
I would just put my hand over the entire screen.
And it's like drawing more attention to it,
but there's like a 90-year-old lady sitting next to me,
and there's like Seth Rogen's ass was on the screen.
Yeah, like Jason Segel's dick is fucking flopping around on the screen.
Full penis for like 45 seconds.
What is going on here?
That was the most pointless scene of any movie ever.
Yeah. There's a close-up of it. I is going on here? That was the most pointless scene of any movie ever. Yeah.
Just a close-up.
I'm going to be an artist.
Yeah, they thought that he was
going to like flip the paradigm.
Because that's supposed to be
like a big thing for like dudes
to go,
like if a dude goes full nude
in a movie,
everyone's like,
he's a genius.
Yeah.
He's constantly
breaking the boundaries.
He's constantly breaking
boundaries in the arts.
I think Daniel Radcliffe,
after he did harry
potter he did a play that was called equus or some shit like that and i think it's literally
about a dude that fucks a horse and i think he has like a 10 minute scene where he like has
fucking a horse he has to run around like naked on a stage in like on like broadway like it was
just harry potter running around with his little fucking wand flopping around it was that's
unfortunate just because he wanted to be an artist. Yeah, that's like a child actor
getting pulled into
like a crazy movie series
and him being like...
I made too much money.
And him being like,
I want to be taken seriously
as an artist.
So he has things,
he has to go get ass naked
on stage.
I want to be taken seriously.
And the fucking producer
naturally hears my cock.
Yeah.
Hears my cock.
He's doing open mics.
I need...
Open mic Broadway.
You think that's a thing? Is it? Yeah, do you think it is? Should be. What mics i need open mic broadway i think that's the thing is it yeah
do you think it is should be what do you mean open mic broadway like uh just go in and like
a 10 minute play yeah that'd be cool they're like right i'll start that like writing the script as
they go i think that's just improv i think you're talking about like an improv like a herald i think
like no i'm making up a fucking play as they go or are you talking about off broadway are you just
talking about auditions i don't know what I'm talking about,
guys. Stop busting my balls for
once, damn it. No, that's what fucking
brothers do. Brothers bust fucking
balls, dude. I just don't want my balls busted right now.
Is that too much to ask for?
He's gone through a dark spot.
Dude, you know what
I love? That the out-and-about dudes
talk about whenever they're like,
whenever they talk about a
dude and they say she oh yeah she's a bit she's a bit pissed off today those guys are like it's
funny because it's a dude that they're talking about it's like what the fuck dude they're
calling dudes girls bro those guys are funny yeah that's fucking genuinely funny those guys
are pushing the limits gay they're like gay Boston dudes.
They're like fucking like brawl out gay dudes.
Fucking hot ass.
I think we can all get behind them.
No pun intended.
Sass, you are an absolute fucking dog.
You are absolutely unhinged.
I think I could get behind that podcast.
Do it again.
You wrote it a little different.
Yeah.
Yeah. The script writers for today's it a little different. Yeah. Yeah.
The script writers for today's episode
are kind of slacking.
Yeah.
That should be
the slogan for Sass's show
is come out to Philly.
Fuck yeah.
Because you're gay.
Yeah.
Come out in Philly.
Because you're gay as fuck.
Because you are actually gay.
No, it actually would make
this podcast significantly better
if you were gay.
And that ship has sailed for me.
So you're kind of our only hope to not be cishet.
It would make this podcast way better if you turned out to be gay.
No, I think it'd be better if you turned out to be gay.
If I turned out.
Wait, what?
When you can, dude, come out as bi and say you're staying with your wife.
You love her.
But you do like men.
You're staying with her for like financial reasons.
That's like.
It's disgusting.
Yeah.
Like you guys are going to. You're going to get a like you guys are gonna you're gonna get a different yeah you're gonna get a different
apartment or you're gonna not you're gonna get you're gonna sleep in different bedrooms no same
bed uh she'll that would be like that would be front page of the new york post the way that joey
joey uh was talking to uh me and my wife about it one time and he was like i've blown so many
straight guys like it's crazy because like straight guys just want to have like the fucking most taboo thing and what's the most taboo thing like getting
sucked off by a guy it's like dude those guys aren't straight guys i got bad news for you dude
you ain't blowing straight yeah those guys yeah those guys or i've also seen like a way
walking a dude in the butt because you want it to be taboo. This is taboo as fuck. Just so taboo. Getting your ass just
ripped apart.
This is so taboo. Oh, I couldn't talk about this
at dinner with my parents. Yeah.
I've seen tweets recently. This is
a little dirty. Of people who are like,
getting fucked in the ass.
We need to respect the
guys who want to explore their sexuality,
do some exploring,
and then realize that they're actually straight
it's like just like if you're
embarrassed that like you got your dick sucked
by another dude just like fucking say that
dude just come out and say it like fucking
these guys trying to cover their tracks because
they're sucking and fucking or just like
be what you are we're trying to cover
your tracks we all know who you are deep down
that's fucking gross that was just you on that
little tangent oh facts yeah we all know your true fucking history we all know your colors
you think you can hide a fucking rainbow we're gonna find all of you and we're gonna out every
single one of you pretending to be straight we are bro we're gonna fuck i know you're not straight
you ain't straight especially in this my boy boy Joey says he sucked you off. Is that true?
Name names, Joey.
This is a list of every
straight guy I've sucked and fucked.
Joey on the act today being like,
we were like, wait, what was the question?
Like, how's the shore?
Or like, does someone sound like...
Oh, the Ritz Cracker.
Oh,
yeah.
Who would you,
who would you double?
Who would you want to double Ritz from?
Snapchat Steve.
Instantly.
He was thinking about it.
His straight voice kills me.
Yeah.
We need to have those dudes on.
PR 130.
Yeah.
No,
buck 30.
Yeah.
PR.
I was PR today,
buck 30.
Maybe he has been sucking the straights.
He's definitely been around a lot of straight presenting bros, dude.
Yeah, probably.
Straight presenting.
These dudes are trying to convince the world.
You ain't fucking fooling anybody, bro.
No.
Are you playing in this fucking mini golf thing?
You can run, but you cannot hide.
Are you playing in this mini golf thing?
Yeah, are you going to drive?
Uh,
no.
You're going to take the bus?
No.
I'm going to try to go out
the day before,
maybe.
Say less.
Stay with some fucking,
stay with some homies out there.
Stay with the firefighters?
Yeah.
That's,
uh,
well,
it's,
that's Rockaway,
bro.
Yeah.
That's Rockaway Beach.
Not fucking Long Island.
That's Queens.
Crazy.
Fucking idiot. I've never been to the Hamptons. I's Rockaway Beach. Not fucking Long Island. That's Queens. Crazy. Fucking idiot.
I've never been to the Hamptons.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
We should just be able to do that and just get the rest of the week off.
You are Jewish, right?
Yeah.
All right.
We should be able to get the rest of the week off, dude.
Does that shit not fire there?
It was a fucking break.
Yeah, you need a break, bro.
You need a vacation from the vacation.
I need a vacay.
Because that vacation was nuts.
A fucking drag. Yeah. What are you about to do the rest of the summer? What's your plan for the rest of the vacation? I need a vacay. Because that vacation was nuts. A fucking drag.
Yeah.
What are you about to do the rest of the summer?
What's your plan for the rest of the summer?
I got a lot of shit coming up, dude.
Are you talking about comedy shows?
Yeah.
Stand-up comedy shows?
But I got like, that's like, I'm not free until the end of August.
What happened to your sketches that you used to write?
I used to love those.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Got bored of them.
Yeah.
I had to find a new craft.
Now you write jokes. Yeah. It's's always something else i feel the same way i always feel like sometimes i
like shortchange myself on creative projects because i'm so like i always want to change
or like try something else and try something else and try something else and there's a lot
of pressure to always like do one thing like have your like tiktok account all be the same thing or
have your fucking instagram account all be like the same type of videos i'll do sketches again i mean it's more just like it's
you gotta like they're the funniest ones the ones that just come to you randomly like oh i gotta
film this right now rather than being like something like sitting down and writing it
yeah that's the way with like most things oh what's good with the sketch show though
uh i think we're filming one th Thursday So we'll have one out Friday
Which will be neat
For real?
Yeah
Where are you filming?
A tattoo shop in Brooklyn
Shut up bro
Yeah
But we'll have a bunch of stuff
That's all we'll say for now
Okay
We're in Brooklyn
Bushwick
2.24
Whoa don't give out the address bro
Who cares
We're gonna have people camping out there
who gives a fuck
people don't realize
how big this fucking show is
where's uh
no that sounds dope
uh Philly
is Rowan going
to either
am I invited
if he's allowed
if he wants to
I thought we'd do
a little bump in mics thing
yeah I think we should
I think it'd be fun
it's a little comedy
except it's gonna be bad
when we get up there
and we're just shit in the bed I know that's what i'm definitely gonna do
you're putting me in a big big time position to fail you were like the fattiest one on the
matt and shane at the stand yeah with two comedians that's definitely not true
no you are you kills you murdered oh bro chill bro i definitely didn't crush not with those
fucking goats not with those goons around we should have uh fuckers we should have matt on the pod
we had shane on bro it sucks that shane hates me now we have such big beef after the case race
what about that little video of you guys like uh watch it it looked like you guys were like
watching videos together we were watching videos but people were like and classic move by sass
just pulling shane out to
just show him his bits like you think me and shane were just sitting there just watching my material
we were watching clips from louis you were forcing him to watch column tyrell i was i did do that too
you were putting him on to his good friend yeah i was have you seen this dude matt i mean dude i
was fucking obliterated no i know no no no i was also hung out until the next day yeah
like five in the morning i would yeah i was with him at the stand the next day and it was like the
day the case race came out and like some kid came up to me and he was like yo shane's over there you
guys squashed the beef and i was like what dude the stand's a funny environment because it's very
uh seems like everybody's just all in the same place it seems like comedians and the people
who are about to watch the show are just all like sitting among each other yeah i don't know yeah
that was that was one dude but it was it was funny we were both pretty down bad though we had a good
talk about it yeah i think everybody was depressed from that and it wasn't even just the hangover it
was just like uh the hangover was the worst nightmare situation the hangover was no problem
yeah it was like just shame shame i felt absolutely terrible
why you no one even said anything about you you because you only saw the negative things about you
like dude like the top comments on her like sash should kill himself
like 10 000 upvotes yeah yeah he probably should
the shit is funny though but that's a big Cat definitely needs to put him in the penalty box for the next case race.
But didn't you say that you hate people that try and like analyze everything and like dissect it.
Big Cat seems pretty upset with Sass.
Definitely not getting that raise, huh?
But when you used to be on TikTok, didn't you just go to the comments every single time?
No, I wouldn't look at my comments.
I was looking at other people's comments.
Exactly.
That's what other people are doing for your videos too no but the comments it wasn't it wasn't it
wasn't like that it would be like political clips or something and then the comments would be like
snowflake emojis or the clown emoji no that's a good point by ron though i haven't thought about
that really like people are just trying to get shit to top comment yeah yeah i don't know i'm
over it now it took me a couple days sounds like It took me a couple days. Sounds like it. Took me a couple days. Yeah.
You're saying shit just to say shit, man. You're doing good.
What I recommend is just go spend
mid-five figs in Europe. Yeah.
Kazing.
She'd
fucking iron everything out. Yeah.
I need that. I'm going to talk to Prez
about that. Yeah.
You have to. Prez, fire this buffoon.
I love that when it's like a call to action. Prez, fire this buffoon. I love that one. It's like a call
to action. Prez,
handle this now. He's just
scrolling in. It's the bat signal
that goes up for him. He's like, I gotta fucking fire
someone. Little do they know, he'll fire
no one. Yeah. Ever. Even when there
was like, remember a couple months ago? Except for Owen.
Maybe he's on the chopping block right now.
Talking shit to Prez over Twitter.
Even I know better than that.
You just do it in person.
And behind his back.
You just do it on this pod every single time.
I don't have a little bit of respect for Prez.
And all he's done.
I don't do it on Twitter.
The only thing that he reads.
His main source of literature in this world.
What if Dukes is pissed at me when I get home today?
Oh, yeah.
I wouldn't be surprised.
Fasoli?
He's like, yo, dude. But I mean, today? Oh, yeah. That wouldn't be surprising. Fasoli?
He's like, yo, dude, but I mean, like, you did disrespect him.
Like, you clearly are getting too comfortable.
He sold too many papers for that.
Dude, he was handing papers out in Boston.
And you think you can just go on Twitter and just say shit like that?
Well, you were an egg in your mother's ovaries, so maybe work that out.
But remember when there was, like, a massive a massive firing day like fucking three months ago?
And then like every – No one's on fire.
All of those –
We like heard like 12 names.
They were like, yo, 30 heads are rolling today.
And nine of the names are still just like here every single day.
Imagine being one of those people though.
I'm like, do you know?
Do you know that you were supposed to get fired?
Do we all know that?
Because it's been more than two weeks, right?
We've been getting checks.
It's been a month, dude.
Yeah.
Is it like a fucking payment?
That was crazy.
Do we just not check your bank account?
Yes, definitely.
People need to know.
People need to know about this.
Because they thought it was like a mass firing day.
I was sick that day, I think.
And you texted me and you were like, dude, 20 shows just got the ax.
Yeah.
And then they're all like still happening.
Yeah.
Except for first time, long time. It was just a way for them. They're like, not everyone's getting rid of their shows. It was just like the axe yeah and then they're all like still happening yeah except for first time long time it was just a way for that they're like yeah it was just like the philly sports
yeah thursday thoughts was hilarious because it was like why was that a podcast in the first place
it was on the like tommy we wanted to tell me we want to but they came to him to do that he didn't
even want to do that i don't think i know they were just like hey we're gonna put this up on
the podcast feed and he was like okay and it was like alana was his producer
from uh mean girls yeah their producer just fucking cut they were like yeah i saw someone
being like didn't thursday thoughts get canceled he was like no tommy's still allowed to have
thoughts just not on thursdays kazing kazing kazinga brother that one tickled my fancy. They're firing fucking shots over here, bro.
Shots galore.
Fucking shit, dude.
Should we end the podcast?
Yeah, what time is it?
Buck 27.
Oh, shit.
We talked way too long.
Wow, okay.
Yeah, we're done.
Bye.
Buy tickets to my shows.
Watch the nicest.
I probably started it earlier, actually.
We're definitely at an hour.
We're over an hour. Watch the nicest. Watch Neighborhood Eats coming out on Monday. I'm not in it. Tommy's in it. And, I probably started it earlier, actually. We're definitely at an hour. We're over an hour.
Watch The Nicest.
Watch Neighborhood Eats
coming out on Monday.
I'm not in it.
Tommy's in it
and Rone is in it.
Leave five stars.
Subscribe.
Comment.
Upload.
Upload the screen.
Check out the vlogs.
Check out the vlogs.
Those are super funny.
It was well edited.
Yeah, and it shows
the fun that we have
while we do all of our shit
we have
we're silly
it's more fun off camera
than on camera
I know we might seem serious
but we're silly
okay
it's not all fucking
buttoned up business
if you've ever wondered
what all the hype is
about the mics
oh yeah bro
you get to see them
in a while
you can start bumping mics
on our fucking
yeah
it's a fucking joke
a little kazink bro
bumping mics
yeah like when they fuck each other like bumping up these I'm gonna be out in Philly I should call it out the show. A little kazink, bro. Bumping mics.
Yeah, like when they fuck each other.
I'm going to be out in Philly.
I'm going to be out in Providence.
I'm going to be out in Atlanta.
I'm going to be out in- You're going to Atlanta?
St. Louis.
Me and Francis are co-headlining in St. Louis.
All those tickets are available.
We should have Francis on the show, too.
On my link tree.
Can we have Francis come to do Son of a Boy?
I think everyone wants Francis to come on shit, but everyone's afraid to be the first person to do it.
Let's do it.
We should be the first one.
We'll be the first.
Should we go hard with guests for a little bit?
No.
No?
No?
I think we did a lot of guests at one point.
We did too many at once.
And then everyone was like, damn, I've been missing the boys.
But Francis wouldn't...
Francis would be fine.
I would definitely do Francis.
Should we try to have him on...
Next week?
Yeah.
I like...
Yeah.
Keeping it one for one would be ideal. Yeah. All right. See you guys next week. do Francis. Should we try to have him on? Next week? Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Keeping it one for one would be ideal.
Yeah.
All right.
See you guys next week with Francis.
Peace.