Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 68 - Based Europeans

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 68 - Based Europeans -- Sas & Rone discuss/compare their July breaks: galavanting across picturesque Europe vs. fighting off Covid for the 4th time -- Full episodes also availabl...e on YouTube!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Sass, take us home, brother, or wherever the fuck we're going. Take us to the show, brother. All right, ready? Yes, sir. What is up everybody welcome back to son of a boy dad podcast today it is monday it is july 11th i believe 7-11 day it's 7-11 day what's your 7-11
Starting point is 00:00:38 order bro i don't really go to 7-11 mine's a taco and cheese taquito. It's fucking gourmet. It's delightful. That sounds like that would give me stomach problems. Guess you've never been poor, bro. Guess you never struggled and got it out the fucking mud. Mine's probably some jerky. Okay. A little salty. It's like eight bucks. Why is jerky
Starting point is 00:00:59 so expensive? Because it's like a steak in a bag. Oh, yeah. Some salt. Some fucking salty ass steak in a bag. Oh, yeah. Some salt. Some fucking salty ass steak. High sodium. I eat fucking like a bag of jerky and I like can't get my socks off. I like bloat up so much. I'm fucking just a balloon boy.
Starting point is 00:01:19 I look like the Michelin man. You feel bloated? Yeah. I think I ate some bad shit yesterday i was on the toilet rough this morning really yeah dude i just ate like woke me up got me out of bed what what was it what was uh what was nasty i don't know you must know poop waking you up's the worst yeah i farted and then i was like oh i'm shitting my pants actively cold red yeah and i just hopped over to the bathroom yeah sometimes i try to like i'll do that but i'll try and like keep my eyes closed so
Starting point is 00:01:52 like i don't like fully let in all the light so i can try to go back to sleep afterwards i had to get up anyway i had to wake up early as fuck today why were you coming back home from wherever mysteriously you live massachusetts oh that's where you're from? Yeah. Shut up, dude. Yeah, I had to take the train home this morning. Damn. Fucking tired. Damn.
Starting point is 00:02:10 That's fucking sick to have been home, though. You were with your dog. Yeah, it was nice. I mean, I had COVID the whole time. That's fucked. I thought you... Didn't you like secretly have COVID like two weeks before that? Yeah, I think it's...
Starting point is 00:02:21 I think I'm still testing positive from that. Oh, really? Wait, when was that one? Well, I just never never tested he had it on the low low low well it wasn't very on the low i mean if you heard my me talk you probably knew i had it if you came to any of his shows where people were in close proximity no i kept my distance yeah you didn't you didn't speak also i didn't know i didn't know if it was covid so it's not your fault you can't be fucking blamed i'm tired it makes a lot more sense knowing now that i'm testing positive like it definitely was like i was waking up every morning being like dude my air conditioning
Starting point is 00:02:51 is fucking killing me it's like now i think i was just actually really sick every day you're like it's so weird how it's a new symptom yeah i'm like dude i'm waking up with a different symptom every day like what is this air conditioning doing to me it's drying out all the air air conditioning's attacking me at night i was just very ill like a venus fly trap dude it's just a silent killer from within my room yeah but it was just covid so what'd you do the entire time just sat at home and fucking crushed power anything dude crushed apex no i didn't have a playstation no console no console. You don't travel with your console? I remind the hotels. You don't even have
Starting point is 00:03:28 a console. What dude? What do you have like a Wii U? Yeah no I got a 64. No. Yeah I people who bring their shit to hotels and I feel like it's like often like NFL players. Yeah but they also probably have like a specific console for the road.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Or like there'll be hotels where it's like prominently like you have like the plug-in like right there underneath the tv like they're like encouraging you to game at their hotel they probably just don't want you fucking in there it's like oh if you're gaming you're definitely not fucking yeah i just like wouldn't want like i also wouldn't even want to play video games on that big of a tv yeah facts i need my shit to look like kitchen television yeah it needs to be like a laptop size laptop Like I also wouldn't even want to play video games on that big of a TV. Yeah. Facts. I need my shit. It should look like kitchen television.
Starting point is 00:04:09 It needs to be like a laptop size. Laptop size. I need like a long TV. That's how you get the good graphics. Yeah. Facts. Nice and tight. Compact graphics.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Yep. The fucking aspect ratio. It actually is game changer. I remember when I first switched over to a monitor instead of a big ass TV. Yeah. You were breaking your neck looking back and forth like the fucking happy Gilmore final scene. Yeah. One of my buddies plays PlayStation on like a fucking mounted TV,
Starting point is 00:04:33 like 20 feet away from him and he sucks. It's probably why. It is why. And he used to be good. If you could just lean forward. Boy fell off. That shit sounds tragic. He did.
Starting point is 00:04:44 And he plays more than all of us. So much hurt in your heart when you said that. He used shit sounds tragic. He did, and he plays more than all of us. There was so much hurt in your heart when you said that. He used to be good. He did. He used to be the best, and now he's the worst. Poor guy. Does he know, dude? I mean, just tell him. Tell him that that's why.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Oh, he knows. Get him a monitor. Yeah, just get him a tiny ass. He can get himself a monitor. Why not help him out? You see a friend in need, you let him fucking drown, dude. Just reach your hand out and fucking pull him out. Monitors are cheap, dude.
Starting point is 00:05:07 You have the funds. They're like 80 bucks. You're flush, dude. No. You make that in fucking 30 seconds of stand-up. It's true. Oh, I got a stomach ache. I'm gonna fart.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Mic it up, bro. Oh. Was that it? That was a shit. That wasn't even a fart. Could be good for the show if you just fucking shit all over the place. We'd get a good laugh out of it. Yeah, I'm fucking exhausted.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Dude, I was going to say how far into the episode until we find out how tired you are. I'm very tired. I was planning on doing it when you go for your inevitable bathroom break halfway through. I'll be like, yo, Owen, how soon do you think Sass is going to talk about how tired he is well because it was like i i didn't have a vacation because i was locked in my room the whole time you were resting so hard yeah so then i was like so then yesterday i like went hard because i was like well i'm gonna enjoy my last day right first day out of core it makes my skin crawl when people say core i threw up a shit ton last night. From drinking? Yeah, but it was like a bad throw up. It was all food.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Ew, dude. Yeah. What are you having some awful famous New England seafood? I had a chicken, buffalo chicken wrap. And that was in my stomach for probably 10 minutes. Damn. Then it came straight back up. You got a weak ass stomach.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Fell asleep aggressively. And then I woke up and it went explosive diarrhea. So it's been a rough couple hours for me. Damn we should sleep a wink on the train long train ride two four hours my heart goes out to you yeah uh ron europe looked amazing thank you yeah it looks like you had a hell of a vacation yeah my time was fucking incredible yeah it gave me a whole new appreciation for like life dude i felt like so incredibly fucking thankful for everything going on in my life actually it sounds like the polar opposite of what you were going through sound like you were going through a fucking silent self-imposed hell how much is it what did they say about life like you get like you get what
Starting point is 00:06:58 you deserve almost oh something like that how much does a vacation like that cost? Like $20 million? Let's just say it'd be like a year worth of stand-up. Yeah. Jesus, dude. That was crazy. You did not do what you said you were doing. You made it seem like you were just going to a city. At no point were you in a city.
Starting point is 00:07:20 I was in Barcelona. You were in mountains. You were sailing boats on the top of mountains. Was I supposed to, I was in Barcelona. You were in like mountains with like, you were like sailing boats on the top of mountains. It was fucking, but was I supposed to come in here and fucking brag about it and be like, I'm about to go on the fucking sickest trip ever. It's going to be so fucking dope. We try and be honest with our listeners. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:36 I mean, I just find it unbecoming when people are like, uh, like bragging about how sick something's going to be. I don't. Yeah. No. Someone's like this. I just, I'm building this fucking house. I'd rather you tell me than lie to me and try and downplay your vacation for us poor folk.
Starting point is 00:07:51 I thought it would make you feel bad. No, I would have been pumped for you. Would you have? Seems like you're fucking green with jealous rage right now. No, I'm not. It looks insane. Seems like you're seething. No, it looked fucking dope.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Rowan posted like a bunch of, Rowan is posting a bunch of stories on Instagram and then his wife posted a story and I didn't notice it switched people. I just kept on thinking I was clicking through the same stories. And like she posted a picture of like a book and I replied and I said,
Starting point is 00:08:17 no way in hell that you've read a page of that book. Thinking he was going to Rowan. And she like burst into the room crying. And then I clicked on it. She was like, why is this? And like my heart fell to Roan. And she like burst into the room crying. And then I clicked on it. And my heart fell to the floor. I was like, no. Sash just called me illiterate. And then I instantly unsent it and then texted
Starting point is 00:08:35 Roan and apologized. No, you honestly didn't have to unsend it at all. And it's actually like low-key creepier that you unsent it. She'll never see it. But that's like you don't want Roan to find out and she also didn't want her to see there's an unsent message she could see that you sent something that was probably inappropriate and so it's like if she's assuming something's inappropriate in her mind you might as well let
Starting point is 00:08:57 her know that it was like about like being illiterate instead of some fucking i just like can't imagine if i didn't notice that and I just left it there and she just opens up Instagram and it's like, no fucking shot, you even cracked this book open. It's so wildly out of pocket. I know.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Dumb bitch. She's just enjoying it. No way in hell. No way in hell you can read this book. You can't fucking read. You're a monster, dude. Fucking pussy. I felt like a monster.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Just lit her the fuck up yeah she um she was going through it because she uh she lost all of her bags when we flew from barcelona we flew from i flew into barcelona was there for like two days barstoolona oh swagger the goat bro walk it off 12 minute pod for real bro we could just end it right there just throw the ad reads at the but uh it was we went from Barcelona to Nice for two days or like we were in Barcelona for two days and when we got to Nice
Starting point is 00:09:53 all of her luggage was gone and she was fucking going through did you lose your luggage too? no I had everything she had no outfits and I was just like fucking I had everything that I ever wanted she was wearing like sweatpants. I'd imagine like the outfits are very planned as well.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Dude, for months. Yeah. Like. Especially girls. Yeah. They plan like down to the socks. Yeah. It was insane.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Especially for a trip to Europe. She had the most extravagant socks ever. You got to be throwing fits in Europe. Frilly ass socks. And they look right at the socks. Yeah. What the lack thereof. They don't wear many. many no they're not wearing that that many socks out there and it was not you can't you have to dress yeah like you can't even get into places they were like dudes were walking up with fucking shorts on and they were fucking laughing them away yeah you
Starting point is 00:10:37 can't wear shorts i mean you could wear shorts in like the like the pictures that i saw you wearing shorts like when you're when you're on that yacht sailing it through the rivers of Venice. Yeah. Yeah. You could have worn shorts in that environment, but you can't wear shorts like when you're in the city. Yeah. I literally saw people.
Starting point is 00:10:53 They laugh at you. There was a big crowd in like the fucking. Little boy. Yeah. In this French square. And I was like, what's going on? They were fucking hanging two dudes for wearing shorts. It was a public execution of some
Starting point is 00:11:05 dudes just because they had worn some shorts now we went into some club that were like the fucking uh they like fetishize american culture and they're like fuck it they saw your videos that you're posting for that the dudes are like they they think like the super bowl in uh like san trope they think like the super bowl is like the dopest global event. And so every fucking bar has like pictures of like hot ass models wearing like diamond studded shoulder pads. They're just, but you couldn't wear shorts into those places.
Starting point is 00:11:34 It was, I mean, you can't wear shorts into clubs in New York. Yeah. I wonder why. I wonder what's so fucking, I guess you just look like a fucking goofy broke bitch with fucking shorts on. I guess. I love wearing shorts. Same.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I love it too. That kind of fell off in COVID, I feel. But like when I would try and get into bars in the city in like high school, it was, you couldn't wear shorts because it would like give away that you weren't working. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder, like, I guess, yeah, just the youth wear shorts. Yeah. What about on planes?
Starting point is 00:12:01 You guys wear shorts on planes? Because I was doing it too too but then i'd sit down and my shit would like ride up and my fucking i would just i mean my legs would be like sticking to the back of these fucking yeah i wore shorts on the train today and i had to get up multiple times and readjust yeah yeah and then you like pull into a city and especially in europe and you're either in shorts or like some fucking sweatpants but the alternative is what you have to fucking dress like fancy for the plane. Some people used to do that.
Starting point is 00:12:27 People used to go on planes and wear like full suits like everyone. Yeah. That Titanic was black tie. Yeah. It's like all special. Yeah. They weren't wearing shorts on the Titanic. No, that's fucking.
Starting point is 00:12:37 I mean, that's not a single pair of shorts on that thing. People are they all drown because their pants all filled up with water. Yeah. They weren't wearing fucking flood. Everyone knows you can't swim in jeans. My hasn't worn shorts he says since he was like 12 really yeah do you even know what his legs look like no they're probably ugly as fuck i know they gotta be gross at this you probably have some varicose ass fucking it's very close legs dude they're fucking disgusting but it was uh dude it was lovely are you feeling the jet lag at all
Starting point is 00:13:04 no not at all you snapped back quick yeah i was i just smelled when i woke up i don't know what was going through my fucking body but i just fucking stunk i just had fucking pheromones pouring out of my body did you did you get back yesterday i flew back yesterday you didn't get any jet lag no i like this one just can't be possible i just stayed up till like 11 fucking just like got a normal 8 hours of sleep and uh just woke up
Starting point is 00:13:28 and was good to go that's crazy yeah it was it was weird I got more jet lag on the way out there uh I fucking hate
Starting point is 00:13:34 flying into like a a city like flying into Europe and you just have to fucking you can't go to your hotel for like the first 7 hours of the day
Starting point is 00:13:41 so you just fucking stink like a fucking airplane you're awake for like 24 hours. You're just sweaty and fucking gross. And like you're supposed to be taken in these beautiful sights and you just are the crankiest little bitch. Yeah, because you get there at like 8 a.m. Just being a dick to hotel workers for no fucking reason.
Starting point is 00:13:56 They're trying to help you. They don't have fucking American amenities. No, they suck. Yeah. There was fucking a lot of bidets out there, though. Yeah, yeah. Just blasting my asshole with water. Clean ass. Fuck, a lot of bidets out there though yeah yeah just uh blasting my asshole clean ass clean ass fuck a lot of seafood dude some of it was fucking gross dude some of it was
Starting point is 00:14:10 fucking nasty you eat anything like really exotic uh i ate the the face of a veal oh veal face dude so veal's a baby cow and they were just serving up the fucking face of it yeah i don't like that at all yeah it was gross it feels like sick that's just like the most yeah it feels weird that you would even it was that entertain the idea of that it was at the nice no i don't know and they called it something weird like baby's breath or something like they kill the cow in front of you and then just skin it dude they at another place they had a they were serving baby chicken and like they fucking they brought out the chicken like dangling from like it looked like baby chicken, and they brought out the chicken dangling from— What do you mean baby chicken?
Starting point is 00:14:48 It was on the menu. It said baby chicken. So it was tiny. And they're tiny. It was this big. And they brought it out, and it was like a fucking tent pole, like a hangman thing. And it was just dangling from it. They wanted to show it to us, and it was fucking swinging back and forth it was preposterous they're fucking sickos over there but the baby
Starting point is 00:15:08 cow cheek was like a dude who's like one of the great it was like 2019 like chef of the year like the place was supposed to be incredible and i went there with such high expectations and like every bite was like hard because you bought that hard to eat maybe you should have gotten something more normal no it was like there was nothing normal on the whole menu was just baby cow cheeks it was pre it was like uh it was like there were two uh course pairing you could get it was like four courses and like you could either pick this one or this one and the first one was like fucking anchovies like some fucking weird ass fish and then the fucking baby cow like was the anchovies and the fish good at least the anchovies really tasted like anchovies the fish was good it was? The anchovies really tasted like anchovies. The fish was good.
Starting point is 00:15:45 It was John Dory. The fucking. And then it was like baby cow. Baby cow cheek. Yeah. But it was like the most high class fine dining. Like the chef came out and shook our hands afterwards. Like I've never felt more like they could smell the American on us.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Oh yeah. Like oh where are you from? Yeah. Did you have any good wine or any beer? I don't know what good wine tastes like. I don't think I could pick good wine out of a lineup. It looks like you were drinking good wine in that video. But what is good wine, though? I don't even know what good wine is.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Dude, I feel like wine is such a fucking scam. I haven't had wine in like ever. I've had wine once and I hated it. Yeah. Not my thing. Not my style. I don't think that there's like that much of even as i've had like a decent amount of wine in my life and like i feel like well first of all they sell a 15 bottle of wine or 14 for like 115 they'll just up charge like 100 because you're american no it's like
Starting point is 00:16:35 on the menu but you look at a menu you're like oh this has to be super nice and then you like google it and it's like fucking whispering angel like yeah they literally do and it's always like fucking stinky fucking shit really expensive out there uh, they literally do. And so it was like fucking stinky, fucking shitty wine. Is shit really expensive out there? Some places it is. In some places it was unreasonably cheap. Yeah, I'd expect things to be cheaper.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Like in Barcelona, like you could get a fucking crazy, like world-class meal for not that much money. But then you went to France and they're just fucking breaking your back. Well, where'd you go in France? You go to Paris? Paris? No, no Paris. You went to Northern? No, the fucking breaking your back. Well, where'd you go in France? You go to Paris? No.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Paris? No, no Paris. You went to Northern? No, the South. South, Southern? Nice. So like Nice, Saint-Tropez. I went to Monaco, which is like its own city.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Very nice. Damn. How was Monaco? It was fucking- That's a bucket list for me. Yeah, it was super. You would love it on some casino shit. It was just like a fucking brilliant, beautiful casino.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yeah. Does F1 go through there, right? It was a brilliant casino out there. Stunning. Dude, beautiful casino. Yeah. Does F1 go through there, right? There's a brilliant casino out there. Stunning. Dude, it is. I would just like, because I didn't, everyone speaks English over there,
Starting point is 00:17:31 so I would just try to like speak in like. Yeah, they probably hated you. No, they didn't. It was dope. Um, me gusta. Play-doh here, Albania. That's our ball.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Yeah. I would just like speak in-sounding grunts. Me gusta wine. No, I was super self-conscious when I got to France because I thought that everybody would be very judgmental of my stupid American ass, but they're relieved because they all speak English, so as long as you're not speaking Russian or some shit,
Starting point is 00:18:04 or some language that they're not familiar with, they all speak english so as long as you're not like speaking like some like russian or some shit like yeah like some language that they're not familiar with they all have like perfect english and even when i went to places like a supermarket or whatever i could just i got by on just like grunts or like yeah oh yeah we'll grab that for you he wants a suitcase yeah i've heard that uh i've heard that like in italy Italy, I think they appreciate if you try to speak Italian. Yeah. I think that's a thing, right? Maybe. Merci. I just have not...
Starting point is 00:18:34 I can count. I can yes or no. I can go, je m'appelle Adam. It's good that you can count. That probably comes in handy a lot. Yeah. I want four baguettes. Trace baguettes. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq. Couldn't you just do like two?
Starting point is 00:18:50 Two. Do they not do the same number system as we do? Yeah, that was my giveaway that I was an American. It was like in Glorious Bastards. Très schnapps. No. Yeah, I don't know. I don't even have that many.
Starting point is 00:19:03 I'm trying to think of like crazy fucking wacky stories that happen. You drink a lot out there? You get fucked up? Yeah, or I just drank every day. And then like eventually I was like, all right, today I'm not going to drink. No, or I don't know. They just like walk around a lot. They're just like walking.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Yeah. It was fucking, I don't know, dude. It's fucking. They don't really binge drink out there. No, they just kind of consistently drink all day. Yeah. It was nice. And their nighttime is calibrated.
Starting point is 00:19:31 They start their night, especially in Spain, way later. You get your dinner reservation at fucking 11 o'clock. I watched The Talented Mr. Ripley. Yeah? With Matt Damon? Yeah, I felt like I was there with you. What is that movie? Because I saw that on the plane.
Starting point is 00:19:50 I was about to click on it. It's in Italy. Oh, it's in Europe. What is he doing? What is he like? He's like really smart or like hot or something? No, he just like murders a bunch of people. Really? They say he's a con artist, but he's not.
Starting point is 00:20:00 He's just a serial killer. Is he like the Tinder swindler? Like, no. I don't know. It's a a serial killer. Is he like the Tinder swindler? Like, no, I don't know. It's a weird ass movie. What is he doing? He just like kills a bunch of people. I feel like he like becomes some other dude.
Starting point is 00:20:15 And just pretended to be, oh, he like, he becomes Jude Law. Oh, huh. And he kills him. And he's just running around Europe,
Starting point is 00:20:22 killing people. But like, he doesn't kill anyone until like an hour and a half in the movie into the movie and so you thought he was a good guy no you know he's weird like you know he's weird but then like out of nowhere he just like snaps and just starts killing everybody i can't see mad damon's short ass killing anybody dude no it's an old movie too it's right after go Go Bill Hunting. I think it's like 97. Yeah. Damon was just getting fucking hits.
Starting point is 00:20:47 And he plays a gay man. He plays a gay man, which is a little off. Like he went from being Boston scumbag. He went from being the man to being gay. That's what Pat did as well. Yeah, pretty much. It's the Barstool Pat story. The Pat McCullough story.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Fucking Boston to gay. Yeah. It's the pipeline. 60 seconds. Yeah. The Pat McCullough story. Fucking Boston to gay. Yeah. It's the pipeline. In 60 seconds. Yeah. It really is. Boston doesn't really have gays like that. He's like one of the only ones.
Starting point is 00:21:13 That's why he had to get out. Who are other gays from Boston? No, they got gays in Boston. Do they? I don't know. I don't know anyone, dude. No big gays. No, like super gay dudes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Closeted. There are definitely gay dudes. Yeah. Closeted. There are definitely gay dudes that can like fight. Yeah, probably. Gay boxing league. Yeah, they're not like the typical gay people. Which is. What do you mean? Yeah, go ahead on that.
Starting point is 00:21:38 I don't know. The floor is yours. I don't want to. I don't want to. Are you getting tired from farting, dude? Dude, like, it's just, I'm just. Is the energy in your gas? I'm just the least healthy person on the planet, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:55 You need to hit, you need to fucking. I need to get back in the gym. You need to hit it with me, bro. Yeah, let's hit it. Let me fucking, let's, let's. Would you do a Pilates class with me? I'd run the Pilates class with you. I don't think you would.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I would. But I gotta, like, you? I don't think you would. I would. I got to like get I got to like get my shit together before you do Pilates or just do it with Pilates. Why don't you just get in the fucking Pilates class and do it before I went over there? I was going like a bunch of days in a row. So you got to like go, but you got to like warm up before you go to that class. Is that like you got to be like you got to like accept? No, I was.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Dude, there's fucking like 400 pound people in the class oh really yeah you'd fit right in yeah all right all right i'm kidding go easy go easy on me roasting session with your fat ass no i'm kidding uh there was a dude i was in uh when i was in san trope there's all these fucking yachts lined up and fucking along the like the main strip like there's like literally like 50 million 50 million and you and they're just like as people are walking out so there's like beggars literally lining up among these fucking yachts that's a smart thing to do but they're not like fucking like new school beggars who are like just asking like shaking a cup at at you. The dudes were like literally begging. A guy was like on all fours. Oh, yeah. They do that.
Starting point is 00:23:08 They do that. Holding a fucking bowl up or whatever. They also swindle you. But he was in a perfect plank, dude. He was in his fucking core. He looked like he was in some Pilates, dude. It was a feat of strength. I fucking blessed the guy with a bunch of money just because he was fucking.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Oh, damn. How much did you give him? He yoked. One dollar. One US dollar. Yeah. You see this, son? They like swindle the fuck out of you out there.
Starting point is 00:23:34 The beggars? Yeah, they come up to you and like, they make you think you're like best friends. And they're like, oh, America. Oh, I love America. I went to America when I was in high school. And then like, they'll give you some shit and they'll be like, alright, give me some fucking money. You owe me. Have a bite of
Starting point is 00:23:50 my ice cream. Some dude gave us these rope bracelets and then we tied them around us. Yeah, try it on! Yeah, and he was like, oh, these are for you. My best friend. Yeah, my brothers. These are for you. And then he was like, alright. All of a sudden the accent just disappears. Alright, give me some fucking cash
Starting point is 00:24:06 pay up give me some cash you stole those from me and then we were like oh I don't have any cash and he's like alright give them back I swear to god and it happens like all the time chased?
Starting point is 00:24:21 you said you got chased by a canyon? you keep up? you outran a canyon? Yeah, that seems unlikely. That whole story's a lie. These slow-ass canyons. You lost me at the outrunning the canyon. You didn't get chased by a canyon. Maybe a sprint, but definitely not a marathon.
Starting point is 00:24:40 It wasn't a chase. They were jogging and you were sprinting. You stole a wooden elephant from a Kenyan beggar? Damn. Let's rob this fucking Kenyan beggar. Yeah, let's rob this dude on the street. Get him, get him. He's a mark. You ever see the dudes in Rome who shoot up the light up things into the sky?
Starting point is 00:24:59 Yeah. And then they'll pickpocket you while you look up at it. Really? Yeah. You keep the wall in the front pocket? They were saying that. You probably had like security guards
Starting point is 00:25:09 and shit with you. Yeah, we were flanked by fucking two beefy fucking Europeans. Wherever the fuck you guys were. You guys had like dudes with AKs around you. It was fucking dope.
Starting point is 00:25:17 The Ferones are in town. I want to make like the fucking president or whatever. Do they have a president in? No, not even. What do they call it? The president or whatever do they have a president in no not even what do they call it
Starting point is 00:25:27 king no they have a president they have a king a dude named Macron and in uh fucking in Monaco they have a king a prince
Starting point is 00:25:34 really yeah they just have a fucking did you guys get to meet the prince you like kissed your guys feet he had us as a as an audience the Ferons the Ferons are here
Starting point is 00:25:41 excuse me uh prince what's his name the prince of monica is that who you're talking about the prince of monica would like to speak to him like a police escort with the fucking uh he wants to battle you a great honor the prince is going to come out if you beat him you become the prince that's how he became yeah yeah that's how you become prince of monaco when we were on the boat they were telling us uh we're like who's like most obnoxious like who's
Starting point is 00:26:11 the most obnoxious tourist that that you have to come through and uh like uh he was like the russians by far are like the most he's like i'll have five-year-olds on the boats and like the russians are so like indoctrinated to hate fucking americans by like the propaganda that like another boat will go by with like an american flag and there'll be like five-year-old kids on the boat like really like fucking like real guns or just no no no like with finger guns just be like we're gonna fucking shoot these fucking americans they do not that i guess the the i don't know how that correlates to them being scumbags but maybe he was just trying to shine up fucking scumbags disrespecting the flag no one fucking hates the country of fucking joe and hunter biden bro
Starting point is 00:26:53 has some fucking respect the goat yeah hunter biden's rules no i said that today and then people started sending me pictures of him like getting massaged by like seven year olds yeah yeah that shit was weird i'm just trying to gas up his crack and prostitution used dude i'm not trying to get just them doing the video with the 10 crack commandments behind it you see that that's what i was that's what i was referencing by saying it was a fan awesome like that was the video like the 4chan people made i think yeah like well do you if you listen the argument between him and the prostitute was about whether the crack rock was 2.06 or 2.07. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That rules.
Starting point is 00:27:29 And on there it said like 20. It was like 20 point something. They were arguing about something. 20 grams or milligrams. I don't know. Yeah. It couldn't have been 20 grams unless crack is like heavy as fuck. It must have been two grams.
Starting point is 00:27:41 I would have never guessed that people doing that much crack were paying that much attention. To 0.1 milligram? There's got to be. Maybe it's just the crack that they're already on. Babe, where the fuck did you put half of my milligram of crack? Yeah, they're definitely like crack heads definitely getting like physical boxing matches over like assuming the other one like stole or hid crack. Why do all these famous people who are like or like i don't even know i wouldn't call hunter biden famous like i guess powerful people it's pretty famous yeah but
Starting point is 00:28:10 like not like so he's not like a celebrity yeah yeah he's a politician's son yeah why why do they all insist on recording and documenting every single legal thing that they're doing yeah i wonder who it's why is he in the back him he's like in the bath recording himself smoking crack on like photo booth on his laptop maybe sending it to other crackheads that he's like trying to fuck yeah take out this pole yeah like if you're decent hit decent smack huh yeah and then he's like pope recording videos himself with like a gun you see those ones and that's badass maybe he was just like hoping the mixtape would get created someday like me taking my vacation uh videos like hoping that i could put a tiktok montage together sometime but if you were doing something like highly illegal wouldn't you be like hey maybe we just don't do the phones for now let's keep the phones out i think he probably
Starting point is 00:28:58 knows he'll get away with everything because his dad's the president but he wants to make daddy like mad yeah yeah it's true rebellious or like he's drunk with power or do you think that he's like trying to fight against I definitely see him as like a Chet Hanks type figure yeah just using the Jamaican accent
Starting point is 00:29:17 Chet Hanks posted like a video the other day of like his like he's promoting his workout thing and he's like being sober is just the tip of the iceberg he's like you need to be jacked as a man you must be jacked i'll play it for you it's hilarious he's not lying though dude he's like you know you want to be jacked as a man you need to be jacked we need to be jacked we need 20 grams grams of crack. Here it is. This is the tip of the iceberg. We have to do more. If you're a man, we have to get fucking jacked.
Starting point is 00:29:52 We have to get fucking jacked. You're a man. You know that you want to be fucking jacked. You know you want to walk around with the utmost confidence at all times. That's how we're meant to feel. We're meant to walk around with the utmost supreme confidence being comfortable in our skin because we fucking have put in the fucking work being sober it's just
Starting point is 00:30:11 is he lying that's kind of spitting i'm trying to think who he like sounds like when he talks like he's like a weird ass fucking speaking cadence that's very tom hanks but no it's not tom dude it's someone else dude it's it dude. It's a very familiar feeling, speaking cadence. But yeah, he's just like- How much money do you think he has in the bank? I bet his workout program is doing surprisingly well. And apparently it costs like $300 a month. I just remember when he tried to flex with money,
Starting point is 00:30:41 he had like an oddly specific amount of money. Because I got $750,500. When he did Rediscovering America, they had to pay him $1,000 just for him to go, it's jet. Yeah, out of pocket. Yeah. And he was like nickel and diming.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Like, I feel like people who are famous in some ways, like they're like weirdly poor or like they don't have money. I don't get how people make money. Like all of these like TikTok kids, they where's their money coming from they're all like rich as fuck and if and if the answer is brand deals like where where are brands getting money where who is paying for everything we don't get any like i don't get i've never been once in my life reached out to a brand like until i came to barcelona for the podcast like i've never been once in my life reached out to a brand like until I came to Barstool like for the podcast.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Like I've never been like, oh, can you do a swipe up for us? And will they just pay you? And these people are like, hey, we're going to we'll give you 10 million dollars to fly to Jamaica with us and wear this bathing suit. Yeah. I guess I'm just not hot enough for that kind of shit. So that makes sense. It really does just come down to being hot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:44 That's like the ultimate, like- If you're hot and you're poor, that's- Even within white privilege? You have a big problem. Yeah, like those are two different- Parts of privilege within white privilege. And that's like hot privilege-
Starting point is 00:31:54 Not even just white, dude. And rich privilege. If you're hot and you're poor, like figure some shit out. But if you're hot and you're poor, yeah, there's no excuse. Start posting abs on Snapchat or something. Yeah, if you're poor, like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:32:03 if you're hot, like there's no excuse to not have money. Yeah. Like you can get into some money. Oh, easily. Like if you're poor like yeah if you're hot like there's no excuse to not have money yeah like you can get into some money like if you're just ugly as fuck you just dm people okay i want to be the fate to get it like take a selfie and send it to like fucking i don't know nike so you have no respect for like a rugged surfer living simply but he's a really hot dude no zero respect because he could be making millions of dollars on the side for just like, bitch. Yeah, just like posting a little dance video on TikTok. Just peel off your wetsuit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Take a slow-mo of you peeling off your wetsuit and that's $10 million in the bank. No tax. Probably straight cash. Yeah, you could just fuck. I have no respect to anybody who's not using it fully. Yeah. Just busting it open. That's not true, dude. Not hot enough, clearly. who's not using it fully. Yeah, but Rome's hot. That's not true, dude. Not hot enough,
Starting point is 00:32:48 clearly. That's not true at all, dude. No one's fucking ever... You have to be stunning. You have to be turning heads in Times Square. Or people also... Rich people wind up just looking real interesting. They'll have the ugliest outfit on, but
Starting point is 00:33:03 it'll all be like dior and it'll be like gavinci and shit like that yeah brunello cuccinelli and it's like that looks stupid as fuck rich people are way less cool than hot people though like hot people just make everything look cool that they're doing i think hot people are way i mean well i don't think either one of them is that fucking i think i think like the ugly people who are rich as fuck and wear like those fits where it's like just head toe designer shit and they look like someone just threw a bunch of random shit in a closet at them and was like, put this on. They look like fools. Hermes shit or some crazy Gucci shit.
Starting point is 00:33:37 You got to know where you're at. I know, okay, hoodie and shorts. I'm never going to try and pull off anything. I'm just going to try and dress the most plain as possible. My brother in Christ, you were wearing zip-up windbreaker pants for three weeks in a row. That's not a pull-off. That was because these are comfortable and I don't own that many pairs of pants. I want people to be able to hear me from three blocks away.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I want people to know I'm coming. What the fuck? And have a calling card when I'm around the corner. I still will wear them too. You pulled them off as well. Yeah, you did. You pulled them off as well. Yeah, you did. You pulled them off hard. I tried to go to Monaco and like, dude, I thought I was like, you can't, you just can't
Starting point is 00:34:10 pull up in anything less than like a fucking nice ass car. And even if you have a nice car, like I pulled up in a Mercedes, dude, I rented the nicest car I've ever rented in my life. Damn, dude, you were balling. And I, no, no, I looked so fucking broke, dude. I looked so fucking poor. They sent me to another valet because I didn't have the fucking nice ass Monaco cars, dude. The loud ass, ostentatious.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Someone needed to humble your ass. The conversations that people were having by the pool, they're like, yeah, the 78 vintage is one of the best that you'll ever have. They're screaming it. The Ferrones just pulled up in a Benz. How cute. How cute. How cute of them. Oh, they are back to their roots. Very humble,
Starting point is 00:34:54 Mr. Ferron. The C-Class. It was fucking, it was devastating. I don't know, you took the cleaning ladies car. Do you remember when people used to post that shit and be like, it would be like when Instagram first to post that shit and be like, it would be like when Instagram first became a thing, people were like, this is what the cops drive in Miami.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Like a Lamborghini with like fucking cop decals on it. I remember, I thought that was real. Is it not? No. I thought it was real. They probably just drive the same fucking cop cars that everyone drives. I thought there was some No, no, In Dubai, maybe. Don't they?
Starting point is 00:35:25 In Dubai, maybe they have sweet-ass cars? Maybe. Some cops have, like, Mustangs, I think. Yeah, I think it was Mustangs or something like that. You boys are falling into the fucking social media trap. Shut up, bro. You dumb motherfuckers. No one's ever got sass before.
Starting point is 00:35:38 He's fucking ungettable. He knows everything that can fake. He's a truffle pig. What are you eating? I'm eating fucking bird seeds right now. You should have went on lowering the bar, dude. I ate that fucking balut egg right before this. Did they already do that?
Starting point is 00:35:51 They did it for the Barstool Idol contestants. Who won that, Tommy? Caroline. Barstool Idol. You are tired. I was thinking of the Lowering the bar Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:06 Did they do that for that too? Tommy did win that Tommy Tommy Tommy Unbelievable By fucking smokes Everyone loves Tommy Do you guys need better help? I actually
Starting point is 00:36:16 I do I'm in a fucking Mental chamber right now Torture chamber I'm gonna sweet off The shit right now And I have to pee so bad But I'm holding it now
Starting point is 00:36:23 Because you know I'm gonna talk about Your tired ass Also yeah They And I have to pee so bad, but I'm holding it now. Because you know I'm going to talk about your tired ass. Also, yeah, they asked for the mentally ill kid to be here for these weeks. Yeah. To stay for these months. Let's get the kid who's probably going to kill himself soon. All right. Well, you won't probably because you have better hopes.
Starting point is 00:36:38 I never would do that. And you actually can. And I never would even be able to do that because of better hopes. Oh, so you're better than the people who do it? No. Mandatory. Oh, for the time. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp.
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Starting point is 00:37:18 to personally help me on a journey. I signed up quickly and easily through their online app and I was able to talk to a therapist right there and they didn't even have to look at my dumb ugly face. I remember BetterHelp actually helped me on a journey very recently. I remember logging onto Instagram and I saw my co-host Ron in Europe on a beautiful vacation while I locked in my bedroom with COVID. I thought, why me, God? Why me? And then I downloaded BetterHelp. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.
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Starting point is 00:38:28 but you guys cannot spell help so it's better H-E-L-P dot com slash sun slash sun
Starting point is 00:38:36 and uh check out better help because that is genuinely one of our uh sponsors that I frequently use
Starting point is 00:38:44 and they keep my mental right. Sometimes I'll log on to the same Instagram that you have, Sass, and people saying ugly ass shit to me. Like I can only afford a Mercedes. Yeah. And that I can't beat the Prince of Monaco in a rap battle. Any Audis
Starting point is 00:39:00 out there? Any Audis? No. A lot of Peugeot. A lot of Fiats. And then people are just in monica dude there's like a subclass of people in monaco who just come to like take pictures of the cars dude they're just fucking you probably sell them for like a million dollars when i saw a dude who was like taking a picture of every car this like skinny looking like 19 year old he looked like he fucking spent every dollar that he could just to come and take like vertical uh videos of these cars and one of the guys was like you want to ride
Starting point is 00:39:26 with me do you want to come in and he couldn't have been happier in his life they could probably you can probably finesse the fuck out of people if you're like an artist in Italy what do you mean like oh this Italian artist took these pictures of cars in Italy sell it to an American for fucking $500,000 it is weird
Starting point is 00:39:42 that they just like post up there they like park their cars just for people to be able to take pictures of their shit i mean they do that in like la just pull up remember in la you could like who is like you can like like people just pull up in like lamborghinis and they're like yeah you want to pay ten thousand dollars to ride shotgun on this thing for five minutes it was like it's american too you can go see the TikTok houses cruise the strip and fucking drive by Bryce's house it's just I know my way around the hills yeah Hollywood near a hotel
Starting point is 00:40:09 is depressing because yeah like if you had a Benz SUV that was like a shitty car yeah it is tough like oh so you make it but then you're just the poorest of the rich yeah that's why it's way better to just flex in small town America like how Brandon Walker's doing it like going back to just flex in small town America. Yeah. Like how Brandon Walker's doing it.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Like going back to Mississippi with like a BMW. Yeah. They're like carrying the BMW. His like furniture in his house is like poor Mississippians on their knees and hands. He's going to have a moat around every bedroom. He's in Mississippi for the rest of the month. Yeah, with his fucking country rich ass. How do you negotiate that deal?
Starting point is 00:40:47 Because he just talks about how many shows he does all the time. That's true. You've got to just count all the shows you've been on. You've got to be like, oh, I was on the Lowering the Bar tournament and count that as one of your shows that you have. I mean, I'm doing Barstool vs. America. You were on Pardon My Take once. No, I've never been on. Didn't they give you an award? Oh, you were on it. Oh, once no i've never been on didn't they give you an award
Starting point is 00:41:05 oh you were on it oh yeah so that's one of your shows yeah constant contributor to part of my take any of their success you can claim like one percent lights on that's like everyone here everyone has that mindset yeah everyone thinks that they're working so hard little do they know that like no one's working hard and none of us deserve anything that we have no it's a fucking joke i was struck by that multiple times we should all be homeless yeah dude i i like deserve nothing that i have like that's all the fucking like the overwhelming feeling as i was enjoying myself in the back of my mind it was just like i don't deserve a good vacation it feels terrible that's better h-e if you have feelings of imposter syndrome or a lack of self-worth they'll be able to help you with all those things they can iron out the kinks and get your mind right with fucking better help
Starting point is 00:41:58 hell yes bro we're going we should go on a vacay bro bro. It's time? I really do. We'll chop it up. Drink a bunch of water. Is that what it was? You haven't even finished your water, bro. I'm dehydrated. That's like my third bottle in the last hour. What the fuck does that mean, dude? I got you, bro.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Oh, what'd you do all week? I went to the World Series of Poker. I did, yeah. I flew to Charleston for a little bit and then went to Vegas. You're such a Charleston head. Yeah. Ba-ba-doo. What do you know about Southern Charm?
Starting point is 00:42:28 The show? Yeah. Is that Vanderpump? No, but it's close. It's the same family of shows. What do you know about Vanderpump, bro? My sisters and mom are obsessed with it. They love that show?
Starting point is 00:42:39 Yeah. They're all on the Housewives. Yeah, it's like the only shows that I watch in my life. Yeah, now one of my sisters lives down there, see she'll see the pumps or whoever's down there yeah southern charm people yeah they're all just like fucking influencers who are now rich off like selling pillows and socks yeah they're like millionaires off of it uh there was a vanderpump uh restaurant in vegas actually oh really, really? Yeah. That fucking bitch, dude. She has fucking Boku bucks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:06 You know who has six restaurants in Vegas? Bobby Flay. Does he? He has a steakhouse, a burger house, a fish and chip house, a taqueria,
Starting point is 00:43:16 and a diner. What kind of places were you eating while you were out in Vegas? Were you going to places on the strip? I guess that's the only way you can go if you don't have
Starting point is 00:43:23 like a car. Or I guess you could go to places. First couple days, couldn't eat. only way you can go if you don't have a car. Or I guess you could go to places. First couple days, couldn't eat. Too nervous. Really? And then I gorged. I just got burgers everywhere I could.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Just crushed a bunch of Bergies? Yeah. That's fucking sick. Have you been to Vegas? I've been a couple times. It's not really for me because I'm not a club or a gamble. I mean, I like to gamble, but I'm not like a sit at a table for fucking like a ton of hours.
Starting point is 00:43:47 I'm more of like a sports gambling guy. So I liked it for the first couple days because I was gambling. Yeah. And then I was out of the tournament, which was paid for by other people. I didn't have money to gamble myself. So I couldn't gamble anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Not a club guy. And then, yeah. All of it just melts away. And it's like, oh, it's kind of gross here then. How many ciggies? Not a lot. Really? Less cigarettes in casinos now than I have ever seen.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Everyone's vaping. That's fucking wild, dude. It was kind of a new set, actually. In Europe, bro, that's where you need to go for the ciggies. Everybody. Small children, dude. Man, rolls. Nuns, dude.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Everybody is smoking cigs. Indoors, at nice restaurants, people are smoking cigarettes. Yeah, fucking it absolutely seeing kids on like their lunch break having like a glass of wine and a cigarette in like catholic school uniforms yeah playing basketball apparently in europe like you can like get you can like get beer just like at the cafeteria of the school really yeah like straight up some schools like sell beer it's dope it's hard as fuck like straight up. Some schools like sell beer. It's dope. It's hard as fuck. Like straight up. Honestly, it probably works. Straight up. And you and your boys were hiding your jewel rips.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Yeah. Were you? You're just baby burning the jewel rips? I need some deodorant. Yeah. Someone is stinky. But you look fucking jacked though. Is that a new sweatshirt?
Starting point is 00:44:59 Yeah, I bought this yesterday. Where at? Island Creek Oysters, the raw bar. Yeah, let's just say me and my boys tore up the raw bar last night. Uh at? Island Creek Oysters. The Raw Bar. Yeah. Let's just say me and my boys tore up the Raw Bar last night. Uh-oh. Yeah, trouble. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:45:11 Are we drinking some nice porters? No. Some IPAs? No, we're High Lifes. Oh, okay. Yeah. Shout out to fucking High Lifes. On draft.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Sponsor the fucking pod, Miller. It's about damn time. Yeah, we're losing sponsorships. No, no. Rapidly. No, no, no. It's that time of year. I think it's that time of year. Oh, it's rapidly no no no it's that time of year it's just that time of year it's cyclical it's that time of year where they're kind of just like
Starting point is 00:45:30 pardon my take yeah we'll just do pardon my take yeah well they put the company on but we we contribute to that show so you know that's basically an advertisement i won 19 year old of the year so fact you believe that was two years ago you actually won that yeah i won the talkies award damn what have you done since nothing you said the talkies award yeah that's what that's what it's called right like the takeies i think oh i thought they called it the talkies are you talking about the the snack talkies or like i don't know i thought it was like sponsored by talkies no i think it's like the takeies like part of my take. Oh, okay. Makes more sense. Like the Dundies, Dunder Mifflin.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes more sense. You shouldn't have won 19-year-old of the year, bro. That shit was unjust, bro. I wonder who won 21-year-old of the year. Probably not you. This year, you would have fucking known already, unless it's still coming up.
Starting point is 00:46:20 No, I don't think the results are in yet. Addison, maybe. Is she still 21? Is she? I thought she was older. Did you see her new profile picture? Dude, what country did they storm the... No. They shot a guy in Japan.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Oh, Shinzo Abe? So what happened with that? They shot a guy in Reno? Didn't they in Sri Lanka or something? No, they stormed Sri Lanka. They stormed it in Sri Lanka so are we pro storming capitals or are we anti storming capitals because I feel like the same people who were like
Starting point is 00:46:50 January 6th was like the darkest day in American history are now like yo we're pussies in America like we need to fucking run the dude who smoked a joint outside the Sri Lankan White House was a hero oh I didn't see that I just saw the tweets being like Japan has two guns and they can kill a politician but outside the Sri Lankan White House was a hero. Oh, I didn't see that. I just saw the tweets being like,
Starting point is 00:47:06 Japan has two guns and they can kill a politician, but we can't. Yeah. You guys really want people just murdering politicians? We need to fucking kill SCOTUS. Yeah. We got to kill the...
Starting point is 00:47:16 I probably shouldn't even say it. But that's like, that is the energy that people have, but it's just like the same exact people. We respect the flag here. Exactly. Salute. Yeah but it's just like the same exact people we respect the flag exactly salute yeah it was uh just videos of people like lounging in the fucking sri lankan pool we're like sitting in their fucking white house i think it was like i think there's more because the people that stormed the capital were like white supremacists i think that's kind of where
Starting point is 00:47:39 the dude these people were probably sri lankan supremacists It would be so funny if it was a bunch of white dudes in Sri Lanka. The dude with the fucking bear headdress on, smoking a doobie, putting his feet up on... He brought Pelosi's desk to put his feet up. Was it Stephen Colbert? Is that his name?
Starting point is 00:47:58 Yeah. Like half of his staff, turned out they were all Storm the Capitol. And he's on the flight logs. Is he? Yeah. Wait, Colbert stormed the Capitol and he's on the flight log is he yeah wait colbert stormed the capital and is on the flight logs but he still had the dancing vaxxers
Starting point is 00:48:09 bro oh i didn't know he was on the flight log colbert's on the flight logs his like whole his whole staff they took like a they took like a field trip down to the fucking capital to storm it could you at the capital storming have could you have been like i'm a journalist i'm filming this yeah and like could you have just filmed it all and you're scot-free? You don't count as someone who or are they all getting thrown in jail? That old lady who walked around clueless and was like the meme. All she did
Starting point is 00:48:34 was walk around. And all the journalists did was walk around. So what's the difference? They're just like, oh, I'm an artist so I can be here. But these people are terrible. I'm an artist. I'm here for art reasons. Journalists are artists. That's definitely how they see themselves. Journalists suck so fucking bad, dude. I fucking, I, for like three years at Penn State, I was on like the school newspaper.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Weren't you like a journalism major? And I was like the outcast of the fucking thing. They're like, we were, we had like a basketball team and we all like got jerseys and they like made up nicknames. And mine was like Doolittle. They're like, fuck, do you like that you like that dude that rules fucking do anything you're getting bullied in college by like the fucking fat like journalists who had like grease stains on their fucking laps around you yeah they were that means that they that means that they had a meeting
Starting point is 00:49:18 without you and they were like let's give ron do little fucking do little yeah you never fucking do any shit, that was. So we're going to start calling you on the podcast. Fucking Doolittle. Yeah. They fucking shit on me so fucking hard. Doolittle. That's an awesome nickname.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Smack my shit through. I like. It's not a good nickname to have, but it's a good one to give someone. The sincere. You got bullied in college. What up, Stortlittle? Bitch. Doolittle. What's up, short stuff? What's little some short stuff some shrimp shrimpy yeah it was tough i was uh like at the at the newspaper like the two
Starting point is 00:49:53 main things because i was on the sports staff i wanted to be a sports writer so like you could be a basketball writer now bro or the very very best is uh like now the headlines are about you bro at penn state like being a football writer and Now the headlines are about you, bro. At Penn State, like being a football writer. And like all I wanted to do was like write opinion pieces and shit like that so I could do some kind of creative writing. Yeah. And that's when I eventually became like over one summer, I stayed for a summer session. So they're like, we'll give you a trial as an opinion writer. And I wrote an article about how I thought that the president, my first opinion piece was how I thought the president of of penn state this dude graham spaniard was a weirdo i was like because he was in a he was in a band where he like
Starting point is 00:50:29 played uh he had like one of those like a washboard or whatever where you like have spoons and like there's like little horns that you can squeeze and shit like that it was like 12 instruments at once and i was like dude he's a fucking he has something to hide like he's he's an absolute fucking good they publish it they and they're like you need to write something else like why don't you write about and i was like no i just and i just reworked the piece and like submitted it again and they just like basically gave the shit to somebody else three years later it came out that he was like hiding the joe paterno shit oh really i hit the nail on the fucking head dude i was like this dude's a weirdo and he's hiding something that's crazy they're like we can't print this dude this
Starting point is 00:51:02 is fucking unfounded you're like trump with hunter biden i was yeah where's hunter as a weirdo yeah smoking 20 gram rocks yeah dude i fucking sniffed that shit out real fucking fast and they they swept it under the rug those dirty fucking journalists impressive bro you should have you should have sent that shit to the times i i really should have i was the first person to be on top of it dude i was fucking dude journalists like movies though are so fucking cool that spotlight like all movies like that like make me want to be a journalist i got the fucking story i got the scoop yeah how fast can we get this published boston i like to imagine that's like barstool back in fucking milton doing the smoke show of the day we just got we just got a in fucking Milton doing the smoke show of the day. We just got a fucking photo of...
Starting point is 00:51:46 Doing the smoke show. When can we get this published? We need Brady's son's dick on the front page. I need this out now. We just got a hot ass teacher fucking a 12 year old. Fast track this. But then you hear about the same people today. And they're the people who are hunting down Dave and shit like that.
Starting point is 00:52:07 Yeah, it's true. It's like weirdos with the axe to grind. But then they find out that Elon Musk has 25 kids. Yeah. That Elon Musk is fucking Genghis Khan. The fact that he was like, no, underpopulation is like- Yeah, he's trying to help the underpopulation problem. Dude, if we-
Starting point is 00:52:23 You could have just had two kids. Or we could just like- You could have just had like two kids or like, you could have said that was doing your part. Just having kids. Yeah. Just like have kids. Yeah. Just don't not have kids.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Take care of any of them. Or we could just like invite in any of the immigrants from like overpopulated countries. Like there's like a fucking 12 billion people in India living in like a fucking sheltered slum. That's just a lean to or whatever. Like if we feel like we're underpopulated here, just like have some of them over and they'll fucking gladly come and suck up some of the milk and honey we got over here. The fucking white picket fence is out here, bro. But I'm fucking. My money, my money.
Starting point is 00:52:56 I'm fucking. No, you gotta cool out. I'm a little bit too fucking based right now, bro. Fucking spitting absolute fucking truths. I watched this movie called uh rosemary's baby on the fucking flight oh i've never seen that but i've heard of it what's it about uh the clinton family oh yes yes it's about how it's like they it's like a how they're like satanists uh like fucking cultivating a fucking young satan baby it's not actually about the clinton family
Starting point is 00:53:20 that's pizza gate right it basically is pizza before pizza. It's like what people like. It's when people are like, there's fucking Satanist cults that the fucking politicians and like the doctors and fucking lawyers of America are in. This movie is about like one of them actually being like a real thing. A Satanist cult. It's kind of fucking sweet, though. It was kind of spooky. I watched Terminal List. You seen that?
Starting point is 00:53:43 No, what's that? Rules. What's it about? A series, eight episodes. Shut up. Chris Pratt. Pratt? Fat Pratt or fucking jacked Pratt?
Starting point is 00:53:51 Shredded Pratt. Ew. His face is like a V. Like his jaw is literally like pointy. He's definitely on the same HGH as Kumail Nanjiani. Coming at you or coming down? What do you mean? Where's that jaw pointing?
Starting point is 00:54:04 Yeah, is it coming out or is it down and out? Is he Sigma male? It's coming out. So he you mean? Where's that jaw pointing? Yeah, is it coming out or is it down and out? Is he Sigma male? It's coming out. So he's like a fucking... Like handsome Squidward. Like Lord Farquaad? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Like fucking... But it actually was a little unsettling at first. Really? Because he's like too jacked. Yeah. He's supposed to be... He's supposed to have
Starting point is 00:54:20 a little chubby body. I mean, he plays like a military guy, but like in Zero Dark Thirty, he was like a chubby. He was a little, he wasn't chubby. That's what I mean, like there's some military dudes aren't fucking fully shredded. Like just because you're in the military doesn't mean you have a six pack. Some
Starting point is 00:54:31 of us genetically just can't fucking get it, bro. Some of us are just meant to be fucking fatties. Some of us would have one, but I just genetically can't. Some people, dude, it is infuriating to see someone who genetically has a fucking six pack. These fucking lean ass Europeans. It's allans all my friends yeah it's all of my friends they do 10 times more than me they don't exercise ever why is that and they're all just like ripped is it because their dads
Starting point is 00:54:54 and i'll drink like one beer at night and i'll wake up the next morning like 10 pounds heavier and all in your fucking yeah yeah all to the All to the belly. Your airbag ass. Yeah. Your friends do weirdly have like marathon bodies. Yeah. They all do. Yeah. Every single person I know. And they talk in riddles and questions. Yeah, they do.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Actually, I noticed that when I was home and it was pissing me off. Because you don't do it anymore. No. Yeah, you lost it. Yeah, they all were doing it like aggressively. You're like an Australian who came to the States and no longer has their accent though. So you're going back to New York tomorrow? Dude, you've come full circle.
Starting point is 00:55:30 I know. You're making fun of old you now. I know. That's fucking crazy. It was pissing me off. Really? Do you think that they'll know? Maybe they need to get pods.
Starting point is 00:55:38 So are you recording your podcast tomorrow? But it's not even on a question. It's not even that. Because it would make sense if it was a question. It's like an excited thing and you run out of breath. You got a bunch of oysters? Wait, so how was the raw bar? Wait, so how was the raw bar?
Starting point is 00:55:58 Imagine if it was that. Can you please? I feel like I like the oysters that I had in America. I got some oysters in Europe, but you've been talking about those oysters you had yesterday for a fucking long ass time. I didn't have oysters yesterday, bro. You just got the fucking sweatshirt. You dumb motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:56:14 You fucking stolen valor pussy, bro. That's how much this sweatshirt cost. 80 bucks. No, 65. So that's probably standard for a sweatshirt. Inflation's a bitch. Yeah, it is. Fucking happening all over the world.
Starting point is 00:56:27 You know what I'm talking about. Yes. You know what I mean. Yeah, it is, bro. Do they even have inflation in Europe? Do they even have money out there? I was, it was. Just paying like cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:56:37 I was walking around and being like, dude, there's not even fucking poverty out here. But that would be like a rich french person going to like fucking mon talk and being like america's beautiful yeah yeah it's fucking that's true there definitely was no poverty where you were exactly i was like oh what dude european's awesome there's not even like fucking chain restaurants this rules dude and then we go to homeless like everyone is doing well in europe it's fucking crazy they're crazy literally no one is struggling in europe it's dope dude we have to try it everybody on the yacht was making six feet at least there was not one poor person on the whole fucking side of the mountain that we own at the entire casino
Starting point is 00:57:18 in our gondola there is no from the hollowed out mountain that we were staying in then you drive by go to the airport there's people on like stacked mattresses sleeping under an overpass. Fucking like an entire family. Wait, didn't we talk about literal beggars? Yeah. On their hands and knees. Yeah. Yeah, bro.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Too far. Yeah, that's fucked up. They took that to the next level. Now I have fucking severe, severe guilt over fucking. Should have given them some freaking cash. I did, dude. Should have given them some cash. I was giving anybody money that I could give it to.
Starting point is 00:57:49 That's how I was feeling. I try to give money to... If I have cash on it, I always try to keep a little cash just to fucking give someone. Not because I want them to have it, because I just feel good. I keep one or two grand on me.
Starting point is 00:58:01 And I'm handing it out. Just to give to the... It's like the More Life video. Or the fuck... What's the God's Plan video by video but yeah dude that's how sass lives his life yeah it's a shore life dude girls from you miami were like i was in i was in the back of the yeah yeah yeah music video i never got the whole god's plan thing is like how like do the people like it was always like drake would come and sit down next to them just like tap them on the shoulder did they not notice like the 700 people like camera crew yeah it was always like Drake would come and sit down next to them, just like tap them on the shoulder. Did they not notice like the 700 people, like camera crew?
Starting point is 00:58:27 Yeah. It was all staged. Crisis actor, homeless people. Yeah. Who are fucking, they're already getting paid like 30 grand just to be in the video. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:35 We like see them in the background of like a major motion picture or something like that. He's in the Marvel movies and the God's plan. That would be hilarious. Just struggling actors. And it's like fake money. Yeah. It's not the fucking... All right,
Starting point is 00:58:48 give that back. Yeah. It's like throwing it up and raking it back. That is fucking basically what... Drake's a sick mofo. That's what Neistat does.
Starting point is 00:58:56 That's what Mr. Beast does. Just fucking gives out all his money. Dude, what is going on with your throat today, bro? Your throat's broken. It's the fucking peanuts, dude.
Starting point is 00:59:03 They're all in my lungs. Maybe you're allergic to peanuts. Maybe it wasn't COVID. You have nuts with your throat today bro your throat's broken peanuts dude they're all in my in my lungs maybe you're allergic to peanuts maybe it wasn't covid you have nuts in your throat yeah i got nuts in my freaking throat yeah bro it's fucking bullshit bro what else was i gonna say there's something else i wanted to talk about when i was in the bathroom um fucking oh i'm gonna be in philly oh yeah next week what day I think the 19th and the 20th, I believe. Are you not going to be in the Yak and shit? Oh, that's the weekend. No, that's Tuesday and Wednesday. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:59:35 Taking a little vacation during the week? No, I'm going to go up after the Yak on Tuesday, and then I might come back. Yeah, it is pretty close. It's only like an hour. It's an hour train ride. Or hour six minute train ride if you get the come back. Yeah, it is pretty close. It's only like an hour. It's an hour train ride. Or hour six minute train ride if you get the Acela. Yeah. But the way you fucking perform stand up though.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Were you playing Helium? Oh, yeah. Fuck yes. I love the big show. Yeah. Playing. Yeah, me and Colm. I'm bringing Colm out with me.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Tyrell? Yeah. Shut the fuck up, dude. He's driving us. Dude, I saw him. I'm going to drunk drive the whole way there. Oh, really? I'm not driving with him.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Why? I don't trust him behind the wheel. Do you think everybody's a bad driver, though? A lot of people are. I think I'm just a very cautious driver and a very good driver. Very talented behind the wheel. You think you're good at everything, though. Am I not?
Starting point is 01:00:21 I think you're good at everything, too. No, I'm just a cautious driver. I don't like being in the car with Mike Wallace, per se. Yeah. I mean, he's genuinely an awful driver and should have his license revoked. But some of us, when we came up, being a good driver was like getting from point A to point B the fastest. Yeah, that's not me at all. I think you just have to trust the driver.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Mike Wallace has his style. It's safe for him. He knows how to drive that way. His style is almost dying every 30 seconds. I remember on a car ride one time with him, we were like, I think we were driving from Philly to New York. He's on the phone the entire time. It was like a bridge that was going down to one lane. And he like, fucking like, we were positive that we were going to, like the walls were closing in and he just zoomed past.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Like there could have just been a centimeter between where we snuck through. But he was like, there was like, our other boy Zach Bielo was like way crazier. He was like, if we ever had a heist crew, he would be the wheel man. Dude, he could get out of fucking anything. You wind up in some sticky situations. I drove with my little sister the other day for the first time. situations i drove with my little sister the other day for the first time and we told we turned out of our street and we're literally driving on the grass of like the main road and she's like actively trying to put a song on i'm like let's just we'll just do no music i'd rather just make
Starting point is 01:01:35 it there alive sit there in silence yeah the driving age shouldn't be 16 should be 20 you see 16 year olds like starting to drive should be should be 18. Yeah. 16 year olds should not be allowed to drive. There should be no responsibility that you get at 16. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't make sense. They should lower like the R rated movies down to 16 and then they should make the license 18. Dude have you noticed that
Starting point is 01:01:57 or I feel like on plane movies they used to not show titties and now on every plane movie there's like titties. Dude, I saw a little boy dick on the plane. What? Yeah. What flight logs?
Starting point is 01:02:10 No. What's the name of the movie? Hunter Biden? What's the Robin Williams one? Good Morning Vietnam? Yeah. There's a little boy dick in that? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:16 What? Like when they get to Vietnam, they're just showing little boys splashing and just showing the poverty. I don't know. It was weird. Back to the tits, though. No, no. It's fine. I the poverty. I don't know. It was weird. Back to the tits though. No, no. I did that.
Starting point is 01:02:28 I was on a plane. I was watching some movie with a lot of nudity in it. And I was very erect the entire plane. Talk to me, Sassy. And I was trying to sue the airline. Because that is sexual assault. If someone makes you hard, that's sexual assault. Yeah. That it? It literally is. At least harassment. because that is sexual assault if someone makes you hard that's sexual assault yeah
Starting point is 01:02:45 that it literally is harassment at least harassment someone someone else arousing you is fucking that is an unwanted biological reaction that they're forcing on your body that should be fucking punishable like that's no but what that's why women shouldn't be able to wear open-toed shoes yeah what i had to had to do was, every time they would show nudity, I would just put my hand over the entire screen. And it's like drawing more attention to it, but there's like a 90-year-old lady sitting next to me, and there's like Seth Rogen's ass was on the screen.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Yeah, like Jason Segel's dick is fucking flopping around on the screen. Full penis for like 45 seconds. What is going on here? That was the most pointless scene of any movie ever. Yeah. There's a close-up of it. I is going on here? That was the most pointless scene of any movie ever. Yeah. Just a close-up. I'm going to be an artist. Yeah, they thought that he was
Starting point is 01:03:28 going to like flip the paradigm. Because that's supposed to be like a big thing for like dudes to go, like if a dude goes full nude in a movie, everyone's like, he's a genius.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Yeah. He's constantly breaking the boundaries. He's constantly breaking boundaries in the arts. I think Daniel Radcliffe, after he did harry potter he did a play that was called equus or some shit like that and i think it's literally
Starting point is 01:03:49 about a dude that fucks a horse and i think he has like a 10 minute scene where he like has fucking a horse he has to run around like naked on a stage in like on like broadway like it was just harry potter running around with his little fucking wand flopping around it was that's unfortunate just because he wanted to be an artist. Yeah, that's like a child actor getting pulled into like a crazy movie series and him being like... I made too much money.
Starting point is 01:04:09 And him being like, I want to be taken seriously as an artist. So he has things, he has to go get ass naked on stage. I want to be taken seriously. And the fucking producer
Starting point is 01:04:17 naturally hears my cock. Yeah. Hears my cock. He's doing open mics. I need... Open mic Broadway. You think that's a thing? Is it? Yeah, do you think it is? Should be. What mics i need open mic broadway i think that's the thing is it yeah do you think it is should be what do you mean open mic broadway like uh just go in and like
Starting point is 01:04:30 a 10 minute play yeah that'd be cool they're like right i'll start that like writing the script as they go i think that's just improv i think you're talking about like an improv like a herald i think like no i'm making up a fucking play as they go or are you talking about off broadway are you just talking about auditions i don't know what I'm talking about, guys. Stop busting my balls for once, damn it. No, that's what fucking brothers do. Brothers bust fucking balls, dude. I just don't want my balls busted right now.
Starting point is 01:04:53 Is that too much to ask for? He's gone through a dark spot. Dude, you know what I love? That the out-and-about dudes talk about whenever they're like, whenever they talk about a dude and they say she oh yeah she's a bit she's a bit pissed off today those guys are like it's funny because it's a dude that they're talking about it's like what the fuck dude they're
Starting point is 01:05:17 calling dudes girls bro those guys are funny yeah that's fucking genuinely funny those guys are pushing the limits gay they're like gay Boston dudes. They're like fucking like brawl out gay dudes. Fucking hot ass. I think we can all get behind them. No pun intended. Sass, you are an absolute fucking dog. You are absolutely unhinged.
Starting point is 01:05:39 I think I could get behind that podcast. Do it again. You wrote it a little different. Yeah. Yeah. The script writers for today's it a little different. Yeah. Yeah. The script writers for today's episode are kind of slacking. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:48 That should be the slogan for Sass's show is come out to Philly. Fuck yeah. Because you're gay. Yeah. Come out in Philly. Because you're gay as fuck.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Because you are actually gay. No, it actually would make this podcast significantly better if you were gay. And that ship has sailed for me. So you're kind of our only hope to not be cishet. It would make this podcast way better if you turned out to be gay. No, I think it'd be better if you turned out to be gay.
Starting point is 01:06:15 If I turned out. Wait, what? When you can, dude, come out as bi and say you're staying with your wife. You love her. But you do like men. You're staying with her for like financial reasons. That's like. It's disgusting.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Yeah. Like you guys are going to. You're going to get a like you guys are gonna you're gonna get a different yeah you're gonna get a different apartment or you're gonna not you're gonna get you're gonna sleep in different bedrooms no same bed uh she'll that would be like that would be front page of the new york post the way that joey joey uh was talking to uh me and my wife about it one time and he was like i've blown so many straight guys like it's crazy because like straight guys just want to have like the fucking most taboo thing and what's the most taboo thing like getting sucked off by a guy it's like dude those guys aren't straight guys i got bad news for you dude you ain't blowing straight yeah those guys yeah those guys or i've also seen like a way
Starting point is 01:06:59 walking a dude in the butt because you want it to be taboo. This is taboo as fuck. Just so taboo. Getting your ass just ripped apart. This is so taboo. Oh, I couldn't talk about this at dinner with my parents. Yeah. I've seen tweets recently. This is a little dirty. Of people who are like, getting fucked in the ass. We need to respect the
Starting point is 01:07:19 guys who want to explore their sexuality, do some exploring, and then realize that they're actually straight it's like just like if you're embarrassed that like you got your dick sucked by another dude just like fucking say that dude just come out and say it like fucking these guys trying to cover their tracks because
Starting point is 01:07:35 they're sucking and fucking or just like be what you are we're trying to cover your tracks we all know who you are deep down that's fucking gross that was just you on that little tangent oh facts yeah we all know your true fucking history we all know your colors you think you can hide a fucking rainbow we're gonna find all of you and we're gonna out every single one of you pretending to be straight we are bro we're gonna fuck i know you're not straight you ain't straight especially in this my boy boy Joey says he sucked you off. Is that true?
Starting point is 01:08:09 Name names, Joey. This is a list of every straight guy I've sucked and fucked. Joey on the act today being like, we were like, wait, what was the question? Like, how's the shore? Or like, does someone sound like... Oh, the Ritz Cracker.
Starting point is 01:08:25 Oh, yeah. Who would you, who would you double? Who would you want to double Ritz from? Snapchat Steve. Instantly. He was thinking about it.
Starting point is 01:08:33 His straight voice kills me. Yeah. We need to have those dudes on. PR 130. Yeah. No, buck 30. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:41 PR. I was PR today, buck 30. Maybe he has been sucking the straights. He's definitely been around a lot of straight presenting bros, dude. Yeah, probably. Straight presenting. These dudes are trying to convince the world.
Starting point is 01:08:55 You ain't fucking fooling anybody, bro. No. Are you playing in this fucking mini golf thing? You can run, but you cannot hide. Are you playing in this mini golf thing? Yeah, are you going to drive? Uh, no.
Starting point is 01:09:06 You're going to take the bus? No. I'm going to try to go out the day before, maybe. Say less. Stay with some fucking, stay with some homies out there.
Starting point is 01:09:15 Stay with the firefighters? Yeah. That's, uh, well, it's, that's Rockaway, bro.
Starting point is 01:09:21 Yeah. That's Rockaway Beach. Not fucking Long Island. That's Queens. Crazy. Fucking idiot. I've never been to the Hamptons. I's Rockaway Beach. Not fucking Long Island. That's Queens. Crazy. Fucking idiot. I've never been to the Hamptons. I'm excited.
Starting point is 01:09:28 Yeah. We should just be able to do that and just get the rest of the week off. You are Jewish, right? Yeah. All right. We should be able to get the rest of the week off, dude. Does that shit not fire there? It was a fucking break.
Starting point is 01:09:37 Yeah, you need a break, bro. You need a vacation from the vacation. I need a vacay. Because that vacation was nuts. A fucking drag. Yeah. What are you about to do the rest of the summer? What's your plan for the rest of the vacation? I need a vacay. Because that vacation was nuts. A fucking drag. Yeah. What are you about to do the rest of the summer? What's your plan for the rest of the summer?
Starting point is 01:09:49 I got a lot of shit coming up, dude. Are you talking about comedy shows? Yeah. Stand-up comedy shows? But I got like, that's like, I'm not free until the end of August. What happened to your sketches that you used to write? I used to love those. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:01 I don't know. Got bored of them. Yeah. I had to find a new craft. Now you write jokes. Yeah. It's's always something else i feel the same way i always feel like sometimes i like shortchange myself on creative projects because i'm so like i always want to change or like try something else and try something else and try something else and there's a lot of pressure to always like do one thing like have your like tiktok account all be the same thing or
Starting point is 01:10:23 have your fucking instagram account all be like the same type of videos i'll do sketches again i mean it's more just like it's you gotta like they're the funniest ones the ones that just come to you randomly like oh i gotta film this right now rather than being like something like sitting down and writing it yeah that's the way with like most things oh what's good with the sketch show though uh i think we're filming one th Thursday So we'll have one out Friday Which will be neat For real? Yeah
Starting point is 01:10:48 Where are you filming? A tattoo shop in Brooklyn Shut up bro Yeah But we'll have a bunch of stuff That's all we'll say for now Okay We're in Brooklyn
Starting point is 01:10:59 Bushwick 2.24 Whoa don't give out the address bro Who cares We're gonna have people camping out there who gives a fuck people don't realize how big this fucking show is
Starting point is 01:11:10 where's uh no that sounds dope uh Philly is Rowan going to either am I invited if he's allowed if he wants to
Starting point is 01:11:18 I thought we'd do a little bump in mics thing yeah I think we should I think it'd be fun it's a little comedy except it's gonna be bad when we get up there and we're just shit in the bed I know that's what i'm definitely gonna do
Starting point is 01:11:27 you're putting me in a big big time position to fail you were like the fattiest one on the matt and shane at the stand yeah with two comedians that's definitely not true no you are you kills you murdered oh bro chill bro i definitely didn't crush not with those fucking goats not with those goons around we should have uh fuckers we should have matt on the pod we had shane on bro it sucks that shane hates me now we have such big beef after the case race what about that little video of you guys like uh watch it it looked like you guys were like watching videos together we were watching videos but people were like and classic move by sass just pulling shane out to
Starting point is 01:12:05 just show him his bits like you think me and shane were just sitting there just watching my material we were watching clips from louis you were forcing him to watch column tyrell i was i did do that too you were putting him on to his good friend yeah i was have you seen this dude matt i mean dude i was fucking obliterated no i know no no no i was also hung out until the next day yeah like five in the morning i would yeah i was with him at the stand the next day and it was like the day the case race came out and like some kid came up to me and he was like yo shane's over there you guys squashed the beef and i was like what dude the stand's a funny environment because it's very uh seems like everybody's just all in the same place it seems like comedians and the people
Starting point is 01:12:45 who are about to watch the show are just all like sitting among each other yeah i don't know yeah that was that was one dude but it was it was funny we were both pretty down bad though we had a good talk about it yeah i think everybody was depressed from that and it wasn't even just the hangover it was just like uh the hangover was the worst nightmare situation the hangover was no problem yeah it was like just shame shame i felt absolutely terrible why you no one even said anything about you you because you only saw the negative things about you like dude like the top comments on her like sash should kill himself like 10 000 upvotes yeah yeah he probably should
Starting point is 01:13:19 the shit is funny though but that's a big Cat definitely needs to put him in the penalty box for the next case race. But didn't you say that you hate people that try and like analyze everything and like dissect it. Big Cat seems pretty upset with Sass. Definitely not getting that raise, huh? But when you used to be on TikTok, didn't you just go to the comments every single time? No, I wouldn't look at my comments. I was looking at other people's comments. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:13:43 That's what other people are doing for your videos too no but the comments it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't like that it would be like political clips or something and then the comments would be like snowflake emojis or the clown emoji no that's a good point by ron though i haven't thought about that really like people are just trying to get shit to top comment yeah yeah i don't know i'm over it now it took me a couple days sounds like It took me a couple days. Sounds like it. Took me a couple days. Yeah. You're saying shit just to say shit, man. You're doing good. What I recommend is just go spend mid-five figs in Europe. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:13 Kazing. She'd fucking iron everything out. Yeah. I need that. I'm going to talk to Prez about that. Yeah. You have to. Prez, fire this buffoon. I love that when it's like a call to action. Prez, fire this buffoon. I love that one. It's like a call to action. Prez,
Starting point is 01:14:27 handle this now. He's just scrolling in. It's the bat signal that goes up for him. He's like, I gotta fucking fire someone. Little do they know, he'll fire no one. Yeah. Ever. Even when there was like, remember a couple months ago? Except for Owen. Maybe he's on the chopping block right now. Talking shit to Prez over Twitter.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Even I know better than that. You just do it in person. And behind his back. You just do it on this pod every single time. I don't have a little bit of respect for Prez. And all he's done. I don't do it on Twitter. The only thing that he reads.
Starting point is 01:14:57 His main source of literature in this world. What if Dukes is pissed at me when I get home today? Oh, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. Fasoli? He's like, yo, dude. But I mean, today? Oh, yeah. That wouldn't be surprising. Fasoli? He's like, yo, dude, but I mean, like, you did disrespect him. Like, you clearly are getting too comfortable.
Starting point is 01:15:11 He sold too many papers for that. Dude, he was handing papers out in Boston. And you think you can just go on Twitter and just say shit like that? Well, you were an egg in your mother's ovaries, so maybe work that out. But remember when there was, like, a massive a massive firing day like fucking three months ago? And then like every – No one's on fire. All of those – We like heard like 12 names.
Starting point is 01:15:30 They were like, yo, 30 heads are rolling today. And nine of the names are still just like here every single day. Imagine being one of those people though. I'm like, do you know? Do you know that you were supposed to get fired? Do we all know that? Because it's been more than two weeks, right? We've been getting checks.
Starting point is 01:15:43 It's been a month, dude. Yeah. Is it like a fucking payment? That was crazy. Do we just not check your bank account? Yes, definitely. People need to know. People need to know about this.
Starting point is 01:15:53 Because they thought it was like a mass firing day. I was sick that day, I think. And you texted me and you were like, dude, 20 shows just got the ax. Yeah. And then they're all like still happening. Yeah. Except for first time, long time. It was just a way for them. They're like, not everyone's getting rid of their shows. It was just like the axe yeah and then they're all like still happening yeah except for first time long time it was just a way for that they're like yeah it was just like the philly sports yeah thursday thoughts was hilarious because it was like why was that a podcast in the first place
Starting point is 01:16:16 it was on the like tommy we wanted to tell me we want to but they came to him to do that he didn't even want to do that i don't think i know they were just like hey we're gonna put this up on the podcast feed and he was like okay and it was like alana was his producer from uh mean girls yeah their producer just fucking cut they were like yeah i saw someone being like didn't thursday thoughts get canceled he was like no tommy's still allowed to have thoughts just not on thursdays kazing kazing kazinga brother that one tickled my fancy. They're firing fucking shots over here, bro. Shots galore. Fucking shit, dude.
Starting point is 01:16:50 Should we end the podcast? Yeah, what time is it? Buck 27. Oh, shit. We talked way too long. Wow, okay. Yeah, we're done. Bye.
Starting point is 01:16:59 Buy tickets to my shows. Watch the nicest. I probably started it earlier, actually. We're definitely at an hour. We're over an hour. Watch the nicest. Watch Neighborhood Eats coming out on Monday. I'm not in it. Tommy's in it. And, I probably started it earlier, actually. We're definitely at an hour. We're over an hour. Watch The Nicest. Watch Neighborhood Eats coming out on Monday.
Starting point is 01:17:08 I'm not in it. Tommy's in it and Rone is in it. Leave five stars. Subscribe. Comment. Upload. Upload the screen.
Starting point is 01:17:16 Check out the vlogs. Check out the vlogs. Those are super funny. It was well edited. Yeah, and it shows the fun that we have while we do all of our shit we have
Starting point is 01:17:25 we're silly it's more fun off camera than on camera I know we might seem serious but we're silly okay it's not all fucking buttoned up business
Starting point is 01:17:32 if you've ever wondered what all the hype is about the mics oh yeah bro you get to see them in a while you can start bumping mics on our fucking
Starting point is 01:17:40 yeah it's a fucking joke a little kazink bro bumping mics yeah like when they fuck each other like bumping up these I'm gonna be out in Philly I should call it out the show. A little kazink, bro. Bumping mics. Yeah, like when they fuck each other. I'm going to be out in Philly. I'm going to be out in Providence.
Starting point is 01:17:50 I'm going to be out in Atlanta. I'm going to be out in- You're going to Atlanta? St. Louis. Me and Francis are co-headlining in St. Louis. All those tickets are available. We should have Francis on the show, too. On my link tree. Can we have Francis come to do Son of a Boy?
Starting point is 01:18:02 I think everyone wants Francis to come on shit, but everyone's afraid to be the first person to do it. Let's do it. We should be the first one. We'll be the first. Should we go hard with guests for a little bit? No. No? No?
Starting point is 01:18:11 I think we did a lot of guests at one point. We did too many at once. And then everyone was like, damn, I've been missing the boys. But Francis wouldn't... Francis would be fine. I would definitely do Francis. Should we try to have him on... Next week?
Starting point is 01:18:22 Yeah. I like... Yeah. Keeping it one for one would be ideal. Yeah. All right. See you guys next week. do Francis. Should we try to have him on? Next week? Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Keeping it one for one would be ideal. Yeah. All right. See you guys next week with Francis. Peace.

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