Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 7 - Ken Spliffey Jr. & Sr.

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

-- Sas & Rone talk about weed. They discuss some of their comedic influences, taking the leap towards stand-up, LA culture, and yeah, some killer stories about getting pitted.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today is a date that we are not going to reveal. Undisclosed date. For better or for worse.

Undisclosed location. And welcome back, Rowan. How's it going dude good man just good bro just fucking uh long work day but you know what i mean just fucking grinding dude nothing i love more than fucking appeasing my body appeasing my mind and appeasing my soul and that's what this is agreed yeah i had a pretty intense workout before the uh before we did the pod yes dude they said you were grunting did Who's they? Just people on the street have been talking about it. I saw Sponsored Rob at the gym.

I did. When I was leaving, though, luckily I might not be able to go back after that. What kind of shit is Sponsored Rob doing at the gym? He was showing up with a big ass bag. Really? He's probably about to throw on some fingerless gloves. Dude, I was literally about to say weightlifting gloves with no fingers on, but to run on a treadmill.

Yeah, yeah. He's just sprinting. He's got say weightlifting gloves with no fingers on. But to run on a treadmill. Yeah, yeah. He's just sprinting. He's got the fingerless gloves with the belt, with the lifting belt. And he's just on the exercise bike. Yeah, just fucking cranking, sweating, fucking listening to music with his headphones facing out. I saw a workout the other day of a guy who just fucking walks with 45-pound weights in either hand on the treadmill. He just is going on a fucking incline one of my buddies tried to convince me to do that he said it was called the farmer's workout it's

for like your forearms hell no dude hell no hell no you get laughed out of the gym you know what actually is a good exercise though is uh holding a kettlebell a heavy kettlebell in one arm oh and swinging it around your body no no and walking around and like maintaining like keeping it at the same level like not letting it sag so it's a very good core workout dude but i feel like that just makes you look like a goof at the gym no i was doing it i was walking laps around the gym no one no one gives a fuck about what you're doing at the gym you think so no that was one of my main insecurities as a young gym goer just being a pussy trying to fucking overlift only doing certain exercises

if you're overlifting people will definitely notice but like for the most part i feel like people don't really care what you do but i'm not i wasn't trying to go in there and like be benching to with two like 25 pound dumbbells or something no no no if you're doing 25s you just gotta you gotta you gotta go home do some push-ups and then come back in the next week bro that's a fact bro why can't you put out a fucking workout on bodybuilding.com? Drop the fucking routine for the people. No, I used to do 20. I used to bench with the 20 pound dumbbells.

Yeah, you would fucking I mean, that's you need to start somewhere. I'm just cranking the 60s. Are you? Oh, yeah. No. My fucking dog, bro. What kind of splits are we looking at? Drop the splits? Weekly split drop? Well, I'm on a plan right now where

I do heavyweight. It's push, pull, legs. It's six times a week. Monday's push, then pull, then legs, then push, then pull, then legs. Monday, it's heavyweight.

Same with Tuesday and then legs obviously and then Thursday is like lightweight high reps and then same with the rest of it and that's where that bulk is coming from that's where you're getting a lot of bulk you want to make sure that you double down on your protein on those days make sure you have a lot

of lean protein make sure you eat a lot of peanut butter fish calories maybe some brown rice right after the workout to replace some of that if you're doing a little bit of cardio. But that's the fucking drill most of the time. That's the best way. And there's fucking Rob right now, fingerless gloves and all. See that bag he's got?

But he's got an umbrella. What are your thoughts on umbrellas? You'll never catch me in an umbrella. Beta. Beta. Beta male. Let the rain fall down and fucking wash away my fucking fears, bro. Fucking drench me in a no-brainer. Beta. Beta. Beta. Beta male. Let the rain fall down and fucking wash away my fucking fears, bro. Fucking

drench me in rain. When I think of rain, I think of Stan by Eminem. Damn. I guess that whole video when I'm walking in the rain you can usually bet I'm listening to Stan. Dear Slim, my tears gone cold, I'm wondering why. I used to think it was my tears have gone cold.

I used to think that too until I looked up the lyrics probably. Usually I almost always have the lyrics wrong until I look them up. I know somebody that looks up lyrics on their cell phone and whenever there's a rap song, they pretend to know the lyrics and read along. Is that a thing? No. Because when i watch this person do it like how do you think do you think you're fooling me into into thinking that

you know every single song that's on the radio a little bit as you're just like fake scrolling your phone sometimes when you listen to music it's fun to look up the lyrics and then sing along and make sure you get all the lyrics down it is yeah have you ever seen that do you know nick colletti yes the viner hilarious yeah he has a funny vine where he's like a person who like wants everyone to know they know the lyrics and they're and it's like the song it's like with the birds it's the the red hot chili peppers and it's like with the birds i share this and he turns on the music and he's like with the birds i'll share this lonely view i didn't know what that was what uh what. What song do you think you know the best,

the lyrics to the best of all the songs? Realistically, probably... Renegade by Eminem? No, no, no. It's just something in a position to talk to these kids and they listen to fun. It would probably be Piano Man, Billy Joel. Really?

You know the whole of Piano Man? If I had it in the background, yeah, I would know the whole thing. And then probably Visions of Johanna by Bob Dylan. How's that one go? I don't even think I know that song. You're going to have to listen to it, brother. You can't even tell me some of the words? Bro, I'm not trying to get DCMA'd right now.

You could get seriously taken down. It's not public domain yet dylan's estate will come or dylan's alive dylan is alive and apparently i think he sold his like entire music collection to like some some like network for like 500 million dollars he recently did that right because he was like i'm i'm old as fuck i just want to i just want to live so old yeah he's the kind of guy who should be dead. Yeah. At this point, he shouldn't be dead because age-wise, how long ago he was a really relevant, popular guy.

I mean, he was popping in the 60s. Yeah. He's one of the guys that put so many drugs into his body that he pre-embalmed himself. You think so? I think that him and Keith Richards and all those dudes who were slamming so many drugs at Woodstock just on a farm. I mean the whole motorcycle thing.

What did he do on a motorcycle? That's where the new basement tapes come from. And the basement tapes. The original basement tapes. He was in New York and he was driving on a motorcycle and he got in a car crash. And the whole thing got swept under the radar like it wasn't reported in like the they wasn't reported to the police at all and then he just like went he moved back to woodstock

and he just like lived there in a bin like his house and he like wrote like thousands of songs in the basement and that's where the basement tapes come from. And then the new basement tapes with the Mumford and Sons dude. That is... And that was Costello and Jim, whatever. Yeah, that was all. There was a chest full of lyrics, full of songs written on pieces of paper. And they just took those and made it. That's fire to have shit in a chest.

At any time, put some kind of actual treasure in a chest. Yeah. It is crazy. He must have had something severely wrong like it with his mind why because he wrote so many good songs no possible way that like a normal person could write that many good songs when he was like 17

why why couldn't a normal person but no one has done no one's written that many good songs before if you put your Twitter in a chest people would be saying the exact same shit about no they would not yes would not. Yes, they would. He has like... How did he not miss? He was like 17. He was but a boy.

Not even comparable. He has like dozens of songs that are over like 10 minutes long and they're all like bangers. Are they actually bangers though? I'm like a huge Dylan fan. I could tell. I'm a big Dylan fan. You ever go on his tour of New York? No, I didn't. I've never seen him live. My friend Matt has seen him live. But I'm saying his tour of New York no I didn't I've never seen him live my friend Matt

has seen him live but I'm saying his tour of like where he used to live in New York like oh no when my friends from Chicago were here that we were gonna do that

we were gonna go like look at all like the bars that he used to perform at and stuff that'd be sweet yeah it'd be cool kiss the soil

but I imagine all of that is probably like pretty renovated and shit is probably not the same bro you should get in a motorcycle accident to pay homage to him

I know you should just fucking get t-boned on a motorcycle do it for do it for dylan you know i did uh go to a i went to a diner for breakfast a couple weeks ago and that was like the home of seinfeld really yeah it was a picture of jerry seinfeld with like a script in his hand at the at the in a booth is it the diner from seinfeld i because in the first episode they're in the pilot episode they're in a diner right i think every episode they're in a diner from Seinfeld? Because in the first episode, in the pilot episode, they're in a diner, right? I think every episode they're in a diner.

Have you never seen Seinfeld? I haven't seen a lot of it. Yeah, I don't really like Bob Dylan that much so I understand someone not liking things. I'm not going to break your balls over it because I don't go crazy over some things. No, I understand people not to an extent. If someone was like, I don't like Bob Dylan, I don't care.

It pisses me off when people are like, oh, I love Bob Dylan, but he can't sing. It's like, well, if he couldn't sing, then he wouldn't be one of the most famous musicians ever. Yeah, he doesn't have a beautiful voice. But I've heard people say that about John Legend. Yeah, I think he has... I like his voice a lot, but I mean, like... You either like him or you're down. It's kind of weird.

Yeah. You either like him or you're down. It's not like kind of weird yeah you either like him it's not about it oh he's such a good lyricist but he can't sing yeah he's definitely a lyrics first guy not a it's like so what do you just sit in your bed and you just read his lyrics it's like you either like him or you don't like him just read along yeah let's do a little read along no one's listening to a song that just like and they're like, oh, but the lyrics in this are just so good. I got blasted by a motorcycle. I feel like motorcycles are

the stupidest thing that you can do. Yeah, what do you think about mopeds? Equally dumb. Really? You're going to get fucking blasted if you're on a moped. Brother, weren't you just on an ATV a couple weeks ago? ATV has four wheels, and it's going on a fucking course. Sounds like you don't know how to ride a bike. I definitely do.

You never graduated from the tricycle. Dude, my dad told me about a time when he said that he tried to learn how to ride a bike, and he was at college at Princeton, and he said that there was this massive hill that he tried to learn how to ride a bike on. He was doing fine at the top of the hill and then he started going down the hill and he lost control of the bike and it spooked him and he never fucking rode a bike again. A couple of years ago, I went to Princeton to go see his stomping grounds or whatever. It was a fucking flat piece of ground. There was no fucking hill at all. And he acted like he was

just flying down down just like legs out just screaming fucking terrified have you ever uh like you do like do you ever like skateboard or longboard i mean i longboarded like i used to have a long house so i just longboard up and down the hallway but i never like longboarded to class or you never got any like speed wobble like yeah yeah never got speed wobble going downhill too fast craziest feeling ever why i used to longboard a lot when i was in like middle school until like freshman year because we would that's like how we would like get around town me and my friends and we'd go we'd like bomb these massive hills and it would be like dude it's just like you're going

and then out of nowhere it's like you can't even like control your legs and then it's just like you know it's coming like you know you're just gonna eat shit at some point that sounds terrible it's terrifying that sounds like the number one thing that makes me not want to skateboard yeah the impending feeling of you're about to eat shit yeah i used to i used to hate it but i would just do it because all my friends did but i like skateboarding like i i'm never i'm not really i'm not really good at it but i like you just didn't like it at all like i'm really good at like cruising around but i can't like do tricks there's definitely some skateboarders who like don't like it at all and it's just like they just reluctantly do it because it's cool it's probably like 50 of skateboarders nija houston's just

getting this shit sucks fuck this shit but he's just like is lean and has cool tattoos i don't really get how you could like something that much to just be getting hurt constantly yeah and and that's like the main perk of it yeah yeah i would i would definitely be on some pussy like uh tony hawk fucking helmet and elbow pad shit yeah but tony hawk's also going off of like massive jumps well i don't give a fuck i'd be going i'd be going tony hawk's awesome because he's like what is he like 55 now or some shit and he's like just still doing like.

But have you seen him? He's been like retiring all his tricks. He's been like, this is the last 500 I'll ever do. I actually have seen. This is the last flip

with milk in my hands that I'll ever do. And then he'll like break down crying. It's fucking, I guess it's sad. Yeah, it must be sad. It's emotional

to just watch him. But at least he did it into his old age. He's been doing it forever. Yeah, at least he kept going. He must know sad like it's emotional to just watch him but at least he's been doing it forever yeah and also he kept going he must know just like within the next like five years it's like he's not gonna be able to do it at all anymore and it is like his whole identity yeah like with an old like rapper or like a singer like you just sing your whole life like it's not like you're gonna lose your fucking or even like if you play basketball like you could still like throw a basketball at a fucking or like play like an old men's league to be

able to not be able to high fly anymore no yeah cause it's like he's like it's gonna come to a certain point where it's like if he gets hurt like he's gonna get seriously hurt dude imagine when we can't fucking drop pods anymore it's gonna be so fucking devastating bro it's the best instrument in the world

yeah it truly is man this. This is my therapy. You can play it. Seriously, my fucking outlet, bro. It's my catharsis. I just need to fucking get a little bit of time, dump those thoughts out there, and I'm a new man. Yeah. I'm refreshed.

Exactly. I'm 100% fresh again. I'm a... Yeah, I mean, I think I'm probably going to podcast until the day that I die. Just podcast on your deathbed. Yeah. They say that everyone dies alone, but not if you have a trusty microphone. Not when I got my listeners.

Not when you got your trusty Rhodes microphone and the sons of Sam. My blue snowball. Is that what it's called? The microphone? Yeah. That like shitty ass microphone? A blue snowball sounds like a drug. Yeah, it does.

How many, like, oh, like Chris Farley died. Chris Farley died from a blue snowball sounds like a drug yeah it does how many like oh like chris farley died chris farley died from a blue snowball he was just crushing a blue snowball and fucking john belushi's dead now he was just housing blue snowballs it sounds it sounds like fucking fire i even know i mean i know what it would be just when you we're probably not at the point in time where a major podcaster has died. Damn. Real shit. It's so new. There's no podcaster 12 years old, right?

There probably is podcasters who've died, but not big ones. Not like fucking Marc Maron. No, or like JRE. Oh, come on, bro. They'll shut down Austin when he he dies they're gonna give him a new orleans style funeral and they'll be going fucking buck wild in the in the streets shooting fucking shooting veals and fucking you're relaxing them you ever listen to tim dylan's podcast funny guy yeah you ever listen to it yeah yeah would you hear his rant about austin no i didn't

hear that was so funny he was just talking about how like Austin sucks. And like, it's just like, he was like, it's a place for losers. Everyone, he's like, everyone here fails and they come here to fail. And he's just like, I'm not, he's like, I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying like, if that's your kind of thing, like you can move here, but I'm leaving. He's been there for like a month. You want to be a loser? He's been, yeah, he's been there for like a month and he'm leaving. He's been there for like a month. Do you want to be a loser? Yeah, he's been there for like a month and he's leaving.

I've heard that people think that Elon Musk is eventually going to run for mayor of Austin and try to tackle all their problems with modern technology. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. Elon Musk will probably run for something, but I don't understand why. Do you think those people just constantly crave

more and more power? Definitely. He's going to be picking up Definitely. He's going to be like picking up the, like, he's going to solve like homelessness with like a forklift and like shoveling people into like a pod or something like that. You're rehoming people just with his fucking, he's just going to gather up all the homeless people and throw them in a box, ship them out to Mars. He definitely is. He's going to like make like fucking just yeah it's it's gonna

just be pods homeless people pods that he's just gonna it's gonna be all sleeping and then they get like relocate it's gonna be like wall yeah they're gonna ship everyone out to space there's not enough room for you here bro wally fucking the trippiest pixar movie i know that shit blows your fucking mind bro i can't believe you don't fucking cook up some hot leaf and watch WALL-E, bro. The fact that you trip out to WALL-E just dead sober and that you haven't fucking burned one down and fucking seen WALL-E.

WALL-E's a great movie. It's incredible. It actually might be the best Pixar movie. It might be the best Pixar movie. I'm trying to think. Is Big Hero 6 Pixar? No. No? I don't think so. If it is, I haven't seen trying to think is Big Hero 6 Pixar no no

I don't think so if it is I haven't seen it so Big Hero 6 is a good ass movie when I think of Pixar I just think of like animated kids movies yeah

what about the B movie you ever seen the B movie Seinfeld yeah I love that movie really I think that movie is so fucking fun I've never seen it

but I think that it's really good I didn't know as a child that Seinfeld got called like a bad actor that he like got flamed for being didn't know as a child that Seinfeld got called a bad actor, that he got flamed for being a terrible actor, even in the show Seinfeld. No, I didn't know that either. He's a bad actor.

I never knew that. I guess he's always smiling through his jokes or something like that. And so people were like, that is when I found out he was a bad actor, when Bee Movie came out. So I was like, you're not going to see this? You didn't like him? No, I didn't watch it because someone was like,

oh, he's a bad actor in Seinfeld. Bee Movie is I think Bee Movie is quite easily the best kids movie like the kids kids movie comedy.

Like it's a funny ass movie it's about a fucking bee who's like has romantic relations with a fully grown woman. Oh really? Yeah. Shut up.

Not the queen bee. No the Barry Bee. Jerry Seinfeld. So is that him trying to like compensate for dating a 16 year old he's like

actually I like old women as well and I'm a bee and I'm a bee so you can't say shit to me and I'm a fucking wasp so I'll fucking sting you he's a billionaire

you know that Seinfeld is what about his young wife now she hasn't graduated high school that's what he likes about his wives he gets older and they stay the same age yeah that's fucking it's crazy i also heard that he has like evian in his showers that was always what is evian like a water like he has

like bottled water in his showers or maybe it's it might be like a fucking like poland spring poland springs is good he has some kind of like I heard that he has some kind of bottled water in his shower which made me like wonder how the fuck does that even work like do you get just like a drum of it how long is he showering for I'm picturing someone like cracking 20 ounce bottles are you saying that his shower is like

pumping out Evian water I'm saying that he has low level Sri Lankan servants who are pouring bottles of Poland Spring on him 20 ounces at a time when you're that rich it's like you can either that he has low-level Sri Lankan servants who are pouring bottles of Poland Spring on him 20 ounces at a time. When you're that rich, it's like you can either dominate the world and impact it in worse ways

or you can do shit like that. And just shower in it. I'd rather him just shower in fucking Fiji water or something than try to rehome the unhoused people with a fucking excavator with a fucking excavator with a fucking massive

massive tomcat or some shit like that. What do you think about Larry David? Funny ass dude. Also pretty unscathed in the problematic world. I think, I feel like he made it through pretty... He made it through very well. He's an unproblematic king.

Dude, but he would fucking flame someone for dyslexia. You don't think he'd have some dyslexia jokes on this shit he is like when i was in high school there we had to do a thing when i was in ninth grade they said who's your biggest inspiration and i said larry david he makes fun of people being in like wheelchairs and shit yeah i think he's like the i think he'll go down as like like top three comedians of all time. Really? Yeah, especially once he dies. You think people will start

respecting him again after he dies? That's what happens to everybody. I know, I think people still, I think Curb Your Enthusiasm is like, well, at least for me,

it's one of my two, I think it's one of the two funniest shows ever. The fact that he has two all-time shows, we just have to, he's earned us on his dick. Yeah.

Like he's earned us being on his dick. Having two all- he's earned us being on his dick. Having two all-time comedies. And I know, like, Seinfeld's aged a lot, which, like, obviously, like, a lot of shows do. Like, Friends and everything ages. But I think Curb Your Enthusiasm is, like, outstandingly funny.

And you know it's, like, almost all improv. Yeah, they just have, like, a premise. Yeah. Apparently, I was watching an interview with uh the who's the guy like grit something with a g gritty the flyers mascot he was he was always in fucking curb the him and jb smooth living at larry's house larry david's like right hand man in the show or like the second character basically he was saying that the for the whole episode they'll have like seven episodes they'll have like seven pages of notes and it'll just be like this scene like you want to wind up doing this

in the scene yeah that it does give it a very distinct feel yeah and like most shows it would be like like it's like a minute per page to be like 30 minutes i'm i'm like obsessed with trying to figure out other people's processes on how to do shit like what is like your process of doing that i always look up how much of blank show is improv yeah i'm big into that like i heard who's what songwriter did i fucking hear about that like they just like like sing gibberish for 11 minutes and then they just pick like the gibberish that they like and arrange it into a song and then they just have a full gibberish song and then they'll just write the lyrics in afterwards. They'll just do a complete fucking psychobabble. And then they'll just make up some random lyrics.

It just was like, why isn't everybody doing that? Or why not do it that way? Or why isn't everybody improv-ing their shit like Larry David? I mean, it probably just comes down to a talent thing. Yeah, he's just massively talented or has a crazy vision. Improv-ing like 13 seasons of a show is probably pretty hard. But at the same time, if he has a way

for it to be down... When are you about to write a show, bro? I thought you were writing a show. No, I've never tried to write a show. I don't have any ideas for a show at all. Fuck that, dude. Just the life of Little Sasquatch. It wouldn't be very interesting. The life of Little Sasquatch. I would like to write

on a show. Yeah. At some point in my life, yeah. Why not just make the show and have yourself star in it and then you can easily write on it. Yeah. I just don't think my life

is interesting enough to write a show about. I'm trying to... My job is to just unlock you. my job is to fucking unleash the dragon and fucking figure it out really much to write about for me and make it a cartoon yeah it's not a bad idea some goofy ass cartoon our guy tyler uh can do cartoons i've heard uh great things about tyler being able to do cartoons that is true i've heard that as well intern that chops all this shit up or Or do a one-man show.

Or write a stand-up routine. I know you wrote some stand-up the other night. Yeah, I've been, I really want to try it. I want to do some stand-up. I know, you want to badly. But I don't want to do it by myself. People, so you want me in?

Yeah, I think you need to do it. I'm more scared than you. Please know that I'm fucking more scared than you are. Please know that I am more terrified. But you've been up on, you've done stand-up before and it was fucking scary because like i internalized all the fucking negative things about it do you did you do an open mic or did you like a show i was on a show i was at a show at the hard rock cafe oh wow and like i i think one one one thing people laughed at and

it was me like i was like making fun of homeless people which is something i'd never at and it was me like, I was like making fun of homeless people, which is something I'd never do now. It was like before I even learned about like punching down. Yeah. And like so in the front row was like, fuck yes, brother. Like he hated homeless people too. He was like furious at homeless people. The best thing that you can do when you're bombing from my observations

is just be like, well, that one didn't go well. And the whole crowd laughs. He's self-aware. observations is just be like, well, that one didn't go well. He's self-aware. All right. Moving on. Moving along. Okay.

They didn't like that one. Internal monologue it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. And they all do that. Like even like the first person to go up will do it. And even like the headliner will do it. Okay.

I guess that one's not working out. And I lost you guys. A whole set of just that. Yeah. Or you write that in beforehand knowing that that's how the joke is going to be. Oh no, J-Depth is going to do that too. Oh, this joke's going to suck. I'll just write in and I lost you guys right there. I feel like it wouldn't be...

The thing is, i worry about like i worry about like uh like getting on stage and just like forgetting everything i'm going to say which also like i know i can like bring up notes and shit because it seems like everyone does that i thought that was a very not common thing but every show i've gone to like at least like half the comics have done that or were there like're saying jokes that they've said before. Yeah, but that's just getting it down. Yeah, but that just removes the illusion for me. Yeah, I know you've said that before, but also it's perfecting it.

It's perfecting a joke. Yeah. I mean, they tweak it. But the nature of our game, podcasters, bro, we grip and we rip it. People probably think that this is edited down or the fact that we're writing this all out. No, this is fucking raw. This is raw, bro. This is Eddie Murphy shit.

This is Chris Rock shit, but not like their stand-up shit, but like the raw nature of their material type of shit. Exactly. Fucking raw, dude. Like, I might go have sex with a fucking prostitute that's transgender that kind of raw shit yeah that is raw yeah that is super raw yeah raw shit

there was one joke edgy shit this guy was talking about roleplay and I wanted to raise my hand he was talking about roleplay and he was like does anyone here ever do roleplay and no one raised their hand I wanted to raise my hand and say that me and my girlfriend do roleplay and I pretend to be a gay man and she pretends to be a chick-fil-A worker.

But then I was like, I'm not trying to take the shine out of his set. Just having like a well-crafted joke. That's way funnier. So I'm going to somehow, if I eventually do stand up, I'm going to use that one myself.

Definitely. How long did it take you to think of it? like three seconds what do you think of uh like of what do you think the mentality of a heckler is i've never been at a show where there's been a heckler have you seen footage of hecklers yeah you got to be like an app uh you see that thing i tweeted out last week of the girl i don't i don't think i did some dude like it was like an open mic and some dudes making like dumb ass jokes and this girl and her friends are all and the girl eventually like i looked at her twitter because

she replied to my tweet and she like did stand up that night there and it's just like like i i don't know what the joke was so like they said it was offensive so maybe it was offensive like obviously it's like not an uncommon thing for like an open mic guy to go up and just say like crude shit like in hoping of like hopes of getting like a cheap laugh but like he's like he's like he's doing his set and they're like making jokes and the guy's like oh you blue hair like you blue hair girl blah blah blah like the class like blue hair joke and she's like oh my god he's getting so upset to, blue hair joker. And she's like, oh, my God, he's getting so upset. To, like, all of her friends. She's like, oh, my God, he's getting so defensive.

And they're all laughing. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, I would literally just never go out in public again if that happened to me. If you were the guy on stage. Because clearly there weren't a lot of people there because you could very easily hear her and her friends talking. It was because it was an open mic. Yeah. And she's just like, oh, oh my god he's getting so defensive and they all are just like and like

all of her friends are laughing just in hysteria he's like he's like you just you fucking bitch like just like he has nothing to say it's so bad bro i feel like it's so easy to beat the guy in the crowd like you have the microphone and even the videos i see where it's like so and so destroys heckler like they're not saying anything really that crazy i mean you have the you have the superiority over everyone in the crowd you have the mic and you're up on stage right and people sometimes people are just like uh shut the fuck up and like the crowd like goes fucking crazy yeah like they'll be like on the count of three everyone say shut the fuck up and it's like one million likes like i destroyed this heckler like you didn't really do anything that crazy i didn't say that funny of a joke but people want the heckler to lose so badly that like they'll

give you the win so the fact that this dude is just getting bodied by a heckler not not good and if you would drop the chick-fil-a joke you would about you would have bodied somebody well i wasn't trying to body it. It was like he was just asking. Like his joke was funny. Yeah. But he was like asking and he was like, no one really? And I was about to raise my hand, but then I was like, I was all the way in the back row.

And I was like, ah. Yeah. It's also just tough to try and be funny at somebody else's show. Yeah, exactly. I wasn't trying to do that. I wasn't trying to be that guy. I was trying to steal it. But when you think of something funny, it's also tough.

Well, I was like, it was hard. I was tempted. And you're not that far removed from. Trying to steal it. But when you think of something funny, it's also tough. Well, I was like, it was hard. I was tempted. And you're not that far removed from a classroom setting where it's like, you would be able to raise your hand and be a class clown. Yeah. Did you get jokes off in class or were you- No. I would never even raise my hand in class.

I was very quiet. You would not even have called on. You wouldn't even have a smart aleck response. Never. You were never a smart aleck? Nope. You even have the term smart aleck? Oh, yeah. My grandpa always calls me a smart ass smart alec response never never we're never a smart alec nope you even have the term smart alec oh yeah my grandpa always calls me a smart alec because you are no no you are a smart alec for sure what uh what setting does he call you a smart alec in uh i mean he

hasn't said in a while but when i was younger he was like oh stop being such a smart alec that was like his go-to punchline. It is a fucking incredible phrase. Yeah, it is. Alec. I don't even know what it means. Who the fuck is Alec? I have a friend named Alec, but I don't know. I've never... Alec is such a fucking knock-off Alec's name. Yeah. Like Alex. Realistically, you should just be named Alex.

Smart Alex. Yeah. Quit being such a smart Alex. I always thought he was like smart out, like smart. Well, I don't know. You just say smart ass. Smart ass thought it was like smart out like smart well i don't you just say smart ass smart ass yeah quipians are just smart ass is is oh do you think it was like a thing that people were like older people try not to curse 100 like my mom always used to be like sugar honey iced tea and i didn't know for a long time that that spelled shit oh wow i never even realized that until just now really yeah? Yeah. Sugar, honey, ice.

Well, not really anymore. But when I was younger, all the adults around me would be doing that shit. You think you're about to curse around your children? No, I don't even know if I've ever cursed in front of my family. Really? Yeah. We were like, it was never like oh, you're going to get in trouble for swearing. I just always felt so uncomfortable doing it.

One time I was watching a football game and I didn't know what a word meant and I fucking yelled at the screen of like an Eagles Redskins game, like, you douchebag! And my parents were like, Adam! And I was like so apologetic so fast because I didn't know what it meant.

I heard it on an Adam Sandler CD and I was like, I'm sorry, I don't fucking know. I didn't know what a douchebag was. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry yeah i have such a vivid memory of when i was in like fifth grade and i took the bus with all these like kids who were like all like these rich these rich kids who would all just say the most like fucked up shit and i remember they would always say pussy and i i went up to my mom we were

literally at the grocery store i was like what does pussy mean and i she was just like what i could show you better than i could tell you what uh so bad what did she uh what how did she describe it i don't remember i remember i just remember asking and then being very embarrassed after i i remember uh i remember being in like seventh grade and having like a really strong conscience and i like uh snitched on myself that i like told i like cursed at football practice to my mom oh yeah i was like i said i said fuck it football practice yeah i was the same way i i i would never be able to hide shit from my parents. I'd always have to like... You'd tell your mom, like, I said pussy today. Like, what does that mean?

And she'd be like, you're being one right now. Stop telling me this. It wouldn't be like that. It'd be like if my like friends did something or like got in trouble for something, I'd like tell my mom for no reason. Snitching on your friends is fucking... But it would be like, oh, like my friend Bo

got caught smoking weed. And I would be like, yeah, I guess Bo's smoking weed now. I had no idea. I had no idea that he was doing this. This is fucking news to me. Why do you think you did it? Because I didn't want to get in trouble myself.

Were you smoking weed with him? No. Yeah, probably. So you were trying to throw him under the bus. When I was in ninth grade, I was smoking weed by myself. I had smoked weed. I smoked weed in like ninth grade, and then I stopped smoking weed. I smoked weed for like a week in ninth grade.

I went through a week-long stoner phase. And you're like, my brain is losing it now. No. This is going to be irreparable damage. I got in trouble with my parents after like a week. And I'm trying to think, fuck, what happened? Oh, I got caught smoking weed after track practice not because i was not i didn't get caught in the act i got caught after because you were

listening to fucking uh afro man because i got high on the way home like mom get out of my room i was gonna go to no it's actually a funny story i i can't i. This is a really funny story. So, I smoked a joint by myself in my bathroom at home and I stood on, I stood on my desk chair and I blew it into the,

into the shower vent and I had the, the shower on full blast heat and the sink and I would take a puff and then I would take shampoo

and I would lather the walls with shampoo. The walls? Yeah, because it, because it would like, Oh, of the walls yeah because because he would like oh of the shower yes it unleashes the snow it unleashes it and i and i had never been high this was the first time i ever i would smoke weed i wouldn't get high and then i got just fucking ripped and i smoked a whole joint and i was like 13 the steam of the bet was the window open window was open, but like the scene was probably unlocked all the weed. Probably.

No, no, no. The weed smell was completely gone. No, I'm saying like it unlocks the potency of the weed that you're just like, yeah, good chance.

Yeah. Hot boxing in a sauna. So then I start like freaking out cause I'm like, holy shit. Like I am, I am fucked up right now and I'm grabbing these eye drops and I'm just dumping

them into my eyes because my eyes are just like my eyes are just like so fucking still in the bathroom just the devil's dick and I oh no I'm walking back and forth to my room in the bathroom no one's home at this time and I'm just emptying these eye drops into

my eyes and i look at them and they're not red eye eye drops they're just normal eye drops so they're making my eyes significantly more red because i just emptied half a bottle of fucking a fucking contact lens eye drops into my eyes just dousing yourself and then i'm like freaking out and i and i'm sweating my ass off and it's the middle of the winter and i'm sweating my ass off and i'm sitting in my room playing playstation with my friends and i'm like freaking out like dude like this is i'm gonna get in trouble like this is fucked like my eyes are so red blah blah and i have all the windows in my room open my mom comes to my room and she's like, it's like 30 degrees outside. It's freezing in here.

What are you doing? I just pretended to keep playing PlayStation. I didn't make eye contact with her. What were you playing? PlayStation. What game? GTA. I'm sitting there and I just keep playing.

She's like, punch a cop. I'm like, oh yeah, I don't know. I'm really hot. It's really hot in here. Then she just didn't think anything of it, went downstairs. Then I was just like, I'm just going to bite the bullet, go downstairs, see if she notices. didn't think anything of it went downstairs and then i was just like i'm just gonna bite the bullet go downstairs see if she notices

so i like went downstairs i remember i went and got an orange because i read that if you eat more it helps the high goes away yeah so i was just ripping oranges yes crushing oranges specifically the lower calorie food it is the faster it goes away so i get an orange i go downstairs i don't even make it down past the stairs and my mom stops me and she goes what's wrong with your face and i was just like uh i was like i don't know what you're talking about and then i go and i get my orange and i'm like laughing like trying to act like nothing's going on but at the same time my fucking face is just sweating profusely why were you sweating because you were nervous so nervous dude and my face is

so red because months leading up to this my parents like thought i was smoking weed even though i wasn't because you were you were bombing hills and fucking listening to bob dylan exactly fucking stoned out of his mind exactly and my parents thought i was smoking weed and always be like a conversation when i got home my mom would be like are your friends doing drugs and i'd be like nope and then then that time it happened and it was just and then my mom brings over my little sister and she's like doesn't something look weird about him your little sister so weird i don't know why she did that my little sister was like six she's like i don't know does he look like he's on weed yet sweetie

and then it was like a whole thing i didn't end up getting in trouble for it but my parents so so did you just cop to it how did you uh lance the boil and let them know that you were high or do they just she just was like you're high aren't you yeah and then i like pretended i wasn't and then i like went back upstairs and at that point it's like you can't really keep it cool like but your boys were over no my boys weren't home we were like on we were on like oh headset playing yeah oh fuck and they're just fucking idiots and they're like bro relax you're fine you probably would have been if you didn't open up the fucking windows and just fucking meld the fuck out like one of my eyes was like shut it was like just twitching yeah literally i was like it was like because it was like doug

what is that fucking show getting high with doug getting doug with high i don't know it you've never seen it no the talk show where they smoke weed he has like he had black jack on it like all those guys fletcher yeah are you serious yeah i don't think i've seen the blackjack fletcher was on oh no no jack black i didn't say blackjack i said blackjack fletcher i thought you were the guy i was confused at what you meant no yeah like jack black the I was confused at what you meant. No, yeah, Jack Black. Like, Jack Black, the workaholics guy. Like, a bunch of people have been on it.

And his eye is permanently fucked up from smoking weed. And that was, like, me. How the fuck does that even happen? Your eye gets permanently fucked up from smoking weed? It was like this. I was like... Just mad eye? I was like, yeah, track practice was pretty good. Are you a fucking pirate?

The moral of the story was and when the snitching on the friends thing yeah i told my mom that i smoked weed with my friend brendan who i wasn't really good friends with at the time and then he ended up becoming like one of my you could throw him under the bus i threw him under the bus and then we ended up becoming like best friends which made it very weird your mom probably like called his house my mom like hated him for a while so you smoke so your son's smoking weed with my son. And Brendan was probably like, oh, you smoke weed, bro?

I never even enjoyed smoking weed. It was just like all my friends were smoking weed. So I was like, oh, I'm not going to not smoke weed. You were very susceptible to peer pressure. Yeah, but it wasn't really peer pressure. I wanted to. I wanted to think it was cool. You wanted to like it.

I wanted to like it. But I hated it. I always hated it. it dude i remember one of the first times i smoked weed at my parents house i was like uh like i was like smoking in my room and i took a couple puffs and i was like oh fuck like this whole room's gonna smell like weed like i need to spread this smell out and i started like walking through the house like blowing weed in different rooms and i like i like came to and realized what i was doing when i was in my parents room smoking the weed that i was trying to hide from my parents parents room i was literally trying to like dissipate the smell of it i was like oh like if i just take a puff in here like a puff in here like it's not all gonna stink up in one room

but it's like it was maybe the highest and most dumb thing yeah that's got to be one of the dumber things i've heard it's incredibly dumb but how old were you Yeah, that's got to be one of the dumber things I've heard. It's incredibly dumb. How old were you? I'm fucking too old to be doing that. Oh, really? I was probably in college. Oh, wow. That is really way too old.

Yeah, but it was the wintertime. My parents weren't there. It was just my dad at the house. He was cool with it, but also we would smoke in the basement. One time I remember we smoked really strong-smelling weed. Yeah strong smelling yeah yeah smelled like a skunk and uh he came downstairs and was like did a skunk die down here like and he crawled into the crawl space thinking that a fucking skunk had actually died in our house i just didn't have the heart to tell him yeah that's

hilarious yeah it's really fucking dumb really dumb walking into my parents room just and blowing weed in there so they can't smell that I'm smoking weed. Maybe the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And definitely the stupidest thing that I've ever done. It's just uncomprehensibly dumb. Yeah. So fucking stupid.

Yeah. Did you learn how to do a Rubik's Cube before you smoked weed? Yeah, definitely. I've been able to do the Rubik's Cube since i was in like middle school fuck that's probably why your parents weren't that pissed off about the week like this this young boy's a prodigy they were pissed it was like a it was like a whole thing like i i became i became more paranoid after i stopped smoking weed than i did while i was smoking weed because my parents were like every day i'd get home my parents would be like looking at my eyes.

I'd get home from a party and my dad would be like shining flashlights in my eyes. And I would be like, Let me smell your breath. I don't even know what to do. Also, I just have naturally red eyes. My eyes get red. I get dry eyes. Get up and stand up, brother.

I feel that. It goes around. It happens to the best of us. But why would you feel paranoid if you weren't doing anything, though? If you had nothing to hide, what did you do? Because they would, like, accuse me of still smoking weed. I remember one time I'm literally just sitting in my room playing video games, and my mom comes in, and she's like, what's going on? And I was like, what?

And she's like, what's going on? I was like, what are you talking about? What if they, like, sent you to boarding school? No, it was, like, literally, like, I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, I you tall i was like what did they like sent you to boarding school it was like literally like i was like what are you talking about i was like i'm just playing video games which is what someone would say who had just smoked a bunch of i know but i was literally just sitting there playing video games she's like she's like your eyes are red oh my god it dude there's just a list of times when it happened because you were just so outwardly like the fit of your clothes is that of a you should have worn a fucking pocket protector

some so many times like i remember one time i was literally like i went to go get my fucking check from work from my old job at the restaurant that we lived across the street from and i came back and my mom was like what's going on like you were gone for a really long time i was like i don't know i was like i was just getting my. We sent a private eye to tell you. I literally remember one time I put eye drops in my eyes, even though I didn't smoke weed because I didn't feel like having my parents say my eyes were red. And then I thought that my eyes were too white. So I stood in front of a fan with my eyes open to make them more red. Okay.

That's as stupid as blowing weed into your parents' room. That is equally dumb. That is equally as fucking stupid. I think I was in ninth grade at that time. Yeah, that's equally fucking stupid. Dude, it was just a nightmare. It was like, I don't know. Which I get it as a parent.

Like, you don't want your kid doing drugs, but also like... Let me fucking live, mom. It was fucking stressful. Yes, bro. And then I think when I got to like 11th grade, that kind of cooled down. 10th grade was pretty rough, too, with that. With the weed. If I ever actually smoked weed, it would have been a nightmare.

Because you would have been that paranoid. Yeah, I would smoke weed when I would go on vacation with my buddies, and I would get super fucking high, and it would be fun. Where would you go on vacation? We wouldn't go on vacation. It would be like New Year's Eve. We'd sleep over somewhere or we like went to my buddy's house in maine that's that's a vacation just got fucking rippered that's i fucking love that shit in maine pitted fuck yes bro low light out there you can see the stars it's fucking fantastic

you're ripping those fucking uh like those cancerous carts the fort fortnight carts the exploding ones or the the ones that just immediately were killing kids those ones the ones where like 18 children died cart night just playing card night smoking the cart night pack just dying yeah i heard this shit kills you just fucking dying out there with your boys. That shit was crazy. And that, and the people don't really, do people even smoke those things anymore?

Carts? They can't. I don't think anyone does that anymore. Do they? After they were killing people. Yeah. That was crazy. Dude.

My, when I was just on the flower now. Oh yeah. You're like that. You're like, you're like that level of weed guy. A flower guy. Yeah.

Like you call it flower. You definitely call it flower. Definitely. Yeah. But now there's like shit that- What do you got, flower or oil? But now there's other shit. There was like wax.

There's like a, they'll like put a fucking burning pen to like, or like a tube to like a fucking lip balm thing and you like fucking just sucking out of it. What is it called? It's like a, fuck, what is it called?'s like a fuck what is it called i don't know wax no pictures like the the honey it's like i don't know some some shit like that

fuck i forget what that was called because when i one of the first time to smoke weed i went to our drug dealer's place me and my friend i was on my way home from school and i once again had like never gotten high and he had that set up. And he, me and my buddy were literally about to, like, take a dab. And I was like, I look back on that all the time, and I'm like, dude, that would have been the worst fucking thing we've ever done. Yes. We had, like, never smoked weed,

and we were about to just, like, start ripping, like, melting wax to our brains. Early dabs were, like, the, it was, like, a hard drug experience. Yeah, yeah. Not, like, soft drugs at all. Not, like, smoking weed. No, no, that's what all my friends said. I've never done dabs. That's it was like a hard drug experience not like soft drugs at all not like smoking weed all my friends i've never done dabs that's what all my friends said one of my first dabs was like off of a nail of like a machine that fucking like it like revved up like a fucking car engine and had like numbers flashing on the screen like a nuclear reactor and i fucking dabbed off of

it and i fucking lost my wallet for i was in San Jose I lost my wallet until I got to Los Angeles fucking four days later and it was just sitting at the top of my bag it was just right there the entire it like fucked up my circadian rhythm for like a fucking half week when we were in like 10th grade one of my best friends from school did a dab for like the first time

ever and it was right before a football game and he was like one of the better players on the team or like sort of he was good and he what position did he play i have no idea you don't know the position in football no not at all and he uh and he like got super sick like he greened out and he was like pale as a ghost what he greened out i've never heard you've never heard anyone say that before i've never greened out no really what is it it's like when you smoke too much weed and you pass out that doesn't happen happen to him it doesn't happen it's like you smoke too much weed you get sick no that doesn't happen bro that's because you're

smoking that philly weed my fucking shit is pure cali bro the fuck are you talking about catapulted weed yeah right dude my shit is hydroponic bro the fuck are you talking about, bro? You're smoking that catapulted weed over the fucking border. Yeah, right, dude. My shit is hydroponic, bro. The fuck are you talking about, bro? My shit is fucking pure from Oregon, bro. My shit's from fucking Humboldt County, California, bro. Dude, I, like, multiple of my friends have greened out before. That, you don't green out. You brown out, you black out.

You've never seen someone green out and they just get white as a ghost. And just, like, fall over. And they're throwing up. That's gotta be some, I mean, I wasn't really smoking weed in high school, so I don't know. It's got to be some high school shit.

Your body's like, you're like not physically mature enough to be able to handle like smoking. I haven't seen anyone. I haven't smoked weed in over like two years. Actually,

I've gotten white as a ghost by fucking dipping and by like smoking cigars. Like I've felt like I'm on the verge of throwing up from tobacco. Even a cigarette, bro. Cigarettes have fucked me up before.

Yeah, yeah. I've gotten really sick off of smoking cigars. Yeah? You were about to say that's one of the most sicks you've ever... The most sick I've ever seen anyone was off of dip. Really? Yeah, when we were younger in high school, we would do all the dip on a boat because these older kids drove their boat by

and they were all doing dip and they were like, here, take some. And we all did it. And literally, we drove home. I didn't get sick. i actually don't even think i did it i didn't get sick we're driving home going like one mile per hour on the boat and just four people are just throwing up off the sides of the boat yeah they're just fucking so bad it's a combination of seasick but dip and tobacco does like yeah i've never been able to get over that hump with and i've tried fucking dipping i've tried chewing i've tried like to get over that hump. I've tried fucking dipping.

I've tried chewing. I've tried the snus pouches. I've tried the nicotine free. I've tried smoking cigarettes. A bunch of different kinds. I've never been able to get over the hump of tobacco. It almost always makes me feel fucking terrible. Donnie has these foreign Colombian cigarettes.

Apparently, one hit of them will just like make you puke. They're terrible. Yeah, it's disgusting. He brought them in here and they started smoking them in this room and it was fucking disgusting. Was that in this room?

Yeah. They were fucking chiefing them. It was so foul. Oh, I thought you meant when Ken Jack had those cigarettes. Oh, maybe it was the Ken Jack. But where was his from? They were like you gave them.

Those weren't cigarettes. What were those? It was just like herbs. Oh, that's fucking weird too it was nothing in them and they tasted disgusting did you ever do the thing in high school where your friends would like press their hands up against your neck and you'd like pass out and like see like crazy shit no but one of my buddies told me that he did that when he used to do that like they would pass out and they would all do it yeah when he was at camp they used

to do that on like uh i think i snitched on my sixth grade football team for doing that. Really? They were all doing it while they'd be changing for practice and kids would pass out and be like, I just saw a fucking super fucking Mario game. I just was in Sonic the Hedgehog. It was fucking awesome. And they would just die on the ground. Yeah.

It's like, people are killing themselves at football practice. There was a whole scandal on my football team because kids were snorting C4 for the pre-workout. I remember at the time, everyone was like, dude, they're snorting C4. We all thought it was this illegal drug.

It does sound illegal. Not until I was a senior in high school, I didn't realize that it's literally just fucking a pre-work like it's creatine it's caffeine and creatine that you can get at a gnc snorting it would actually do far less than just drinking it it actually makes it unaffected yeah it gets it into your bloodstream so fast that you can't metabolize it and uh it doesn't work at all it was such a big like it was like everyone was talking about it yeah dude blah blah they were all snorting fucking c4 and i was like no shut the fuck up and it was like yeah it makes you play super well but if you don't drink enough water you just start puking like crazy it's like i took

c4 for like three years and i never came close to puking we definitely did that before like going out in college snorted snorted c4 or uh jacked 3d or like there were just all these different kinds of pre-workouts like like the the fucking pre-workouts have the craziest names dark matter and like my boy who always had like the heaviest shit that was like fucking it was like drug prices you buy like a kilo of it for like 750 dollars um but he he would just like go for runs on it it's like bro you're running like isn't this for extreme muscle burning? Oh, yeah. I was big into running last year,

and I would take a tiny little bit of pre-workout just for the caffeine. Just a bump? Yeah, just a key bump of it. I would just put a tiny little bit in, just blood flowing. But now it's like I can't work out without pre-workout. Really?

Chemical dependency. Yeah, it becomes a very... like, it just like isn't the same. I don't have the motivation without it anymore. You should just do steroids. No. Why? Because I don't want my heart to explode. It's not going to fucking explode, dude.

Dude, it causes so many heart problems. Take a fucking topical cream for one cycle. No way. Why? I don't want to. I don't want to get dino. I just am trying to, I'm trying to,

I saw how much your friends could peer pressure you in high school into smoking weed and skateboarding and it's just like, why don't I have, smoking weed when I was in like

ninth grade. But why don't I have the same sway? Like, how can I fucking, oh, it's just your way to get into a friend group?

It was like I was hanging out with a bunch of kids who I don't even hang out with anymore. Look, kids who I haven't talked to in like two years. They're all probably dead or in jail now. Yeah, probably. After a fucking high school's career of fucking smoking herb. Some kid in my town killed someone.

Like two days ago. It's all over the news. Let's fucking go. It's actually a really fucking crazy story. Talk to me. Talk to me nice. I need to hear it. Should we talk about it? I mean, it's not like a funny story. It's actually a really fucking crazy story talk to me talk to me nice i need to hear talk about it i mean it's not like a funny story it's actually super fucked up is it too soon do you think that we should put a pin in it because time plus tragedy equals comedy so it's

just like if we wait long enough it will be funny two days is probably a hot button give me a couple of the details i'll let you know if we should talk about it or not what was the method of first of all the person to kill was his dad and second of all it was okay yeah all right that could go either way he drowned his dad you know in the local town pond okay okay sounded pretty bad yeah he said that there was a demon in his dad and he was trying to baptize him oh yeah oh that's not that bad it's like it's a lot more dark than that like the dad was like He said that there was a demon in his dad and he was trying to baptize him. Oh. Yeah. Oh, that's not that bad. It's like, it's a lot more dark than that.

Like the dad was like an alcoholic and he was like beating the kid and shit. And it was like, the kid just like snapped and had like a psychotic breakdown. Fuck. People are killed. People kill people. It's crazy that high school, people who were in high school, there was a, when I was on this bachelor party the other weekend, um, my buddies, actually, my buddy who was on the bachelor party, him and his older brother, both said very warm things about this podcast. They said that they love this podcast, but they were thinking of the story that I told about the kid from my class who cut someone's throat, the fucking EMT kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cut someone's throat. And the kid reminded me, he was like, dude, there were two kids in my high school class that killed people and one of them fucking... Yeah, I didn't know this kid. He just moved to my town like two years ago

so I didn't really know him. So you're not taking responsibility? No, not at all. I don't even know what he looks like. But I just know it was a super fucked up story. Yeah.

That shit's whack. Killing your dad is whack. Hard drugs are whack. Yeah, but I also... Also, pressing your hands up against your throat and fucking passing out, that shit is whack. I don't want anyone trying that

because they heard us fucking talking about it and making it sound sweet. Yeah. No, don't do that. Don't do that. Disclaimer. Don't kill your dad. Don't kill anybody.

Okay. We're getting a lot of blowback from fucking Angies and the Menchies. And people aren't happy with the murder talk with the murder talk seriously last thing i want is fucking keemstar to be doing a fucking nine minute video expose roasting our asses with his pointy beard you see my keemstar tweet yesterday i was dying what was it again i said uh tnz just rolled up on me and asked or asked about my romantic relationship

with Keemstar and I said in which I replied it's purely sexual and then I grabbed my crotch and walked away just gave him a firm crotch grab it's purely sexual that's so get lost

I only suck his dick because he called me he said that i wasn't man enough to do it he said i wasn't king in the new king of new york so i suck his cock now any more questions and you just grab the cob piece and fucking walk away i'm so glad we don't live in like la or some shit like that if we lived in la we would probably have like the hollywood fix guy outside of barstool HQ. We would personally, the two of us? No. Or just in general.

He would probably camp out here. Why? Do you think just to find Dave? Dude, that guy just follows everybody around. He follows TikTokers who have fucking 20 million followers. No, dude. I've seen him go up to people who have like 500K. Damn, bro.

Yeah. So he's close to hitting you up. Damn, bro. Yeah. So he's close to hitting you up. Damn, bro. But I don't think they really have a lot of that in New York. They don't. Yeah. Everyone's famous. Famous people just matriculate.

They're like fucking sharks swimming among the guppies. They're fucking big fish swimming with all the tiny fish. I respect the fuck out of it. I'll be honest. I have a verse of the Keemstar diss track written. Oh, really? I have a out of it. I'll be honest. I have a verse of the Keemstar diss track written. Oh, really? I have a verse of it, but it's like I could just throw it out

or we could put it out and make a video out of it. It's really true. Yeah, we'll wait. Hold on to it and see if he has any more aggressions and just empty the clip. Yeah, I mean, is Keemstar who we want to use?

For what? For the diss track? What do you mean? Like, should we go with someone else? I mean, we don't really have too what? For the diss track. What do you mean? Like, should we go with someone else? I mean, we don't really have too many enemies yet. Yeah. Like, Dave, you mean? We need to make more enemies.

Should we come at Dave, Josh, and Brianna? No. We did get in their ass a little bit last week with that. It's so funny how everyone here, like, when, like, anyone makes, like, jokes. Because I feel like a lot of people, it's like a lot of people do, like, commentary on sports. Shit like that. But then, like, when we, like, make jokes, everyone's like, lot of people do commentary on sports, shit like that. But then when we make jokes, everyone's like, oh, these fucking trolls.

Dave's like, oh, Lil Sass is a professional troll. I don't really think I was trolling anyone. I made a dumb joke. Or like a joke at your expense. Like, oh, dude, you're just trolling. Yeah. I got in a fight with a potential advertiser in the fucking Instagram DMs. It was like good cop, bad cop.

Yeah, you were the good cop. I went good cop. And I was getting in his ass. There's no way that's real, though. The numbers he was throwing around? Yeah. He's just trying to seem affluent. But he also tried to little boy me.

Dude, those guys from LA. Gruen seems like a nice guy. He texts me. He texts us all the time. He's a supporter of the podcast. What do you mean all the time? Are you saying more than you'd like? No, I just mean the exact amount that you'd like? A little more than you'd like?

No, I just mean those guys. So then why don't you reply every time? I now know I've now been in contact with two people from LA. Like management type people from LA and it's Gruen and that this new dude who sucks. Yeah, I mean, he seems like a little bit of a hard ass and both of them are just like so like, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? And then all of a sudden they're just spamming you links of their accomplishments.

That's not how normal people... That's not how normal people I had on Forbes. It's like, dude, Forbes will write an article about anything. Forbes is pay-to-play. That's not how normal people have conversations. Look at this article about me on Medium from 2015. Yeah, hey, what's up, dude? We're looking if we could see if we could do advertising with you. Oh, yeah, that's fine. But you'll need to go through our advertising.

You'll need to go through our sales department at Barstool. then all of a sudden he's just sent oh fox news cnn forbes i i couldn't give less of a yeah it's like you what do you think i'm just gonna sit i'm gonna sit right now and just start reading all these articles about you whoa this guy's big this guy's a big deal it's like it's definitely just like an la thing dude and that's everybody in la in most cities you can tell who's important and who's not important by how they carry themselves how they dress their surroundings and everybody in la carries themselves dresses and surrounds themselves like they're fucking famous like they're paid like they're important and fucking barely any of them are yeah it's fucking terrible yeah it's like who doesn't add deal through fucking instagram dms yeah and this

dude was like trying to cut out barstool and i was like dude you just have to go through barstool it'll be like simple he's like dude that's not how you do ad deals like you know you're allowed to take he was saying to me too he was like i can't believe you guys have to go through barstool and it's like dude that's like our job it's like it's just a job it's just like what our job is fucking idiot yeah this dude is so fucking dumb. I know. And he was like, oh,

I can't relate. It's like Spotify only takes 20% for me. It's like, yeah, you probably also don't get an ad. You probably also don't get a salary from Spotify. Yeah. And no one gives a fuck about your stupid shit.

Like our podcast is brand new, dumb. We're lucky to have anybody listening to it. No one gives a fuck about that dude's fucking podcast, music, fake Instagram that he has followers by. I even want to say his name because like uh uh i'm so purely fucking distastefully fucking in engrossed in hatred for this it is just so like i don't know it is just so like obviously it's like i mean we're not i'm not gonna i'm gonna assume we're not gonna get

the ad deal so i think we can talk about it. But the guy was trying to give us... He said to you, what did he say? $500,000? He said $180,000. Then he said $200,000. Then he said $400,000. Then he said $600,000. Then he said $1 million.

He just kept on saying... You guys just lost $1 million. It's like, dude, in what world are you paying $1 million for a podcast with six episodes? And he was also like, it's not even like, it's not like we're doing like call her daddy numbers. Like why would you ever spend a million dollars on our podcast? He is such a fucking loser.

You could buy the entire podcast for $50,000 if you wanted to. And like a million dollars. And he kept on being like, I'm going to, well, good luck good luck i'm just gonna go spend more money with josh and dave on bff anyway we also work for that yeah exactly it's like oh you're gonna spend more money on my behalf with the company that i work for i'm sure they'll be fucking furious he even like met he put me and dave in a fucking instagram message and was like hey dave like you really let your employees

talk to people like this? And I was like, oh wow, Dave didn't really respond like you said he was. He was like, no, he actually just called me. He's like, no, he didn't. You're a fucking liar. You have 600,000 Instagram followers, 27,000 followers on TikTok, and you have fucking 41 likes on TikTok.

Tell me the numbers add up. Tell me that that makes sense make that make sense for me you have no fucking following you have no fucking anything and you're trying to throw money around tell me how the fucking world works suck my entire day from the fucking front to the back and take your fucking time it's just that i those people all just like they think like they think like i'm not saying like i know we talked shit about gruen but i really don't think gruen's that bad of a guy anymore but the they all think that they deserve this like godly level of praise like they're all like they all think that they're like no offense

to dave they all think that they are like they all want to be the next dave portnoy clearly he was like says the kid driving a dodge neon when i said i didn't even want his money he was like i could only imagine you weren't if you weren't funny you'd be working at arby's you think it's like what do you think you'd be the you could see a manager at best buy best case scenario or something like that yeah just because we don't want just because we don't want his act because all this is all just because we said he has to go through the barstool fucking sales team yeah it's so insane i was like i have a better fallback option than you'd have if the world ran out of snake oil to sell and he was

like okay you're a pretty smart kid he just keeps on yeah he i did he he also thought you were 20 years old yeah he's just trying to like sun me he was like hey listen just for future reference i know you're pretty new to this yeah and that's what set me off i was just fucking furious at him the one response that i had where i I just opened up a little bit, I was like, I can tell you want attention, but know this, you couldn't pay me to take your money.

It took me 10 seconds to realize you suck and I am an incredibly good judge of character with an incredible tolerance for people sucking and you somehow superseded even that. There is no amount of apps you could design, connections you could make, money you could have, or shitty music you could put out that could change my mind on that yeah i was just i i normally don't even fucking respond to people but this guy got in my craw

in such a way that please please just don't please just don't please just don't do that yeah yeah yeah i mean it's just like a random la dude who thinks that we should be sucking him off, basically. I guess he knows Gruen. Also, there's just no way. Don't say we just lost a million dollars. Dude, whoever you're working for, if you gave us a million dollars,

you would lose your job. Or if it's just your money, you're a fucking idiot. He's like, well, my company's worth $10 billion. It's like, okay, a fucking idiot he's like well my company's worth 10 billion dollars it's like okay like i don't give a fuck what your company's worth if your company's worth that much then like why wouldn't he stop dming me then like why would that's much money stop dming yeah why wouldn't he have gone to bffs yeah like you will like obviously like i mean obviously our podcast is brand new like up but like bffs clearly does more impressions

and shit than we do right now so why wouldn't you just start with bffs another thing he said was like i can't wait until josh is on air making fun of you for like missing out on this deal yeah like he was gonna write it into the ad read that like josh has to make fun of it just was uh but you played good cop though you you tried to not burn the bridge yeah i mean well who, well, who knows? I was on suck my dick mode, and you were definitely playing the good cop. I told him, I just said, hey, man, if you really want to do this ad deal,

just send it to this link. Send it to the fucking... Yeah, and they'll fucking sort your shit out, and you can just leave me the fuck alone. But it all stems from the fact that he was calling us a troll. Him and Gruen, or Gruen described him to us. Gruen described us to him as trolls.

He's like, oh, don't worry about them. They're just like trolls. He's like, no, I'm not saying this shit. I'm not saying this shit to troll you. I'm really not trying to troll you. You hit me up, and I started off the conversation cordially, and then you tried to sun me and Lil Bro me and so i fired back at you yeah just because you fucking saw a fucking gary v video and i saw he followed me yesterday and then he like who v no no that guy and then

i like posted a video or something he like commented on it and then i was like oh he actually dm me and he was like i think he was like trying to like sign our podcast or some shit who that guy but he like deleted the message so I don't remember what it's sign our podcast like something weird he like wanted to do something with our podcast and I don't think it was advertising what a fucking idiot

dude fuck that dude yeah but it was it was nice to get the juices flowing it reminded me of just battle rapping days, just fucking thinking of mean shit to say to somebody and try and make them feel bad about themselves. It was early in the morning, too. Yeah, I was fucking up.

Dude, my fucking building told me this morning that they were going to shut off the fucking water at 8 a.m. Why? I guess there's construction going on across the street, and I got up, tried to fucking get a workout in, got sweaty as fuck, was literally on a run, sprinting back to fucking try and get in the shower in time and the water just never shut off it was just fucking oh wow building just tricked me and fucking dicked me and so i was just sitting up just like grinding they should do that every morning they honestly should it would

help me out because i got like i was super productive this morning i got a ton of shit done i had time to fucking argue with people. Just recreationally sunning people. It was nice. It felt like a good time. Yeah. That is good. It was real fucking sweet.

What's up, guys? Hopefully, you're still listening. If you are, we decided to throw in some bonus content from last Thursday's Yak. So, hopefully, you enjoy it. Thanks. Steven, how are you, friend? So there's a couple ways that we could run this as I retweet this bitch out.

There's a couple ways that we could do this. Steve, you could come in here and we could really see if you've got what it takes to be a full-time in-this-room content guy. And we could kind of zhuzh things around. Or we could play like zhuzh things around or we could play like all star game all star game yak and

just have random people from in the office kind of come in and do little chemistry tests or we could just go son of a boy dad yak and just just run it just run it you and I yeah I'm down for anything of course you are you fucking deferential bitch why don't we why don't we mix it up and do some of both?

Okay, you want to pop in here for a little bit, Steve? Give me one minute to fix the cameras with you. Okay, fuck, Sass. Sass, give us what you're thinking about for a second. Tell us what your splits were this morning while I fucking tweet out this fucking link. I didn't work out today. Today's leg day.

You didn't work out? I don't work out in the morning, so I work out at the afternoon. Oh, you work out in the middle of the work day. Yeah some time off clear the mind that's smart reset keep myself fresh get out of the phone comedy show last night shut up yeah it was super fun uh it was fat tuesdays at the stand which is the comtown guys and it was uh it was stav from comtown he was the only one there nick mullen didn't show up and then guys. And it was Stav from Comptown. He was the only one there. Nick Mullin didn't show up. And then it was...

That's so Nick. Oh my God. That's so Nick. I want to start talking about Comptown like they're Sway House. That's just classic Nick move. Don't sit there. Sit over there.

Sit here. Oh, fuck. I'm going to have to turn to see you we gotta do one shot all right that's fine um and then it was joe list who was super funny he was hilarious he killed real he did really well everyone was going crazy he killed really well and then um this guy just tweeted it out steven good to see you brother what's up buddy dude so good to have you in here it's nice to be here i so i've been upstairs all day doing just regular day job shit but then i came down and i forgot big cat was out today and then obviously the

anus guys rediscovering america yeah and owens and philly i didn't know owen was gone yes owen was supposed to be here. No, he wasn't. Oh, really? He was always going to be out? He was always going to be out. They always knew it was going to be game three of the college? He's going to be in tomorrow. Okay. I think Big Cat's going to be in tomorrow, too. No, I don't think so. I think it's just going to be us

and Tank. I actually am not going to be here tomorrow. You're not going to either? We have a team outing tomorrow. What the fuck? A team outing? What are you doing? A ropes course? In the middle of the day? We're going to the Yankees-Angels game, which is at 1 o'clock. Oh, wow. That sounds awesome.

You're not even making any content out of it? It's a shame that the Yankees-Angels couldn't work their way around the schedule. Yeah. I mean, right now it appears like it's going to get rained out. Okay, so you'll be in? Potentially. If it gets rained out, do we have your verbal, a strong verbal? It depends on a plan B. Plan B is being formulated right now.

I'm going to get really drunk tomorrow. I usually don't get drunk. Why? What's going on personally? Because there obviously has to be something going on that you're trying to escape from mentally. It's just, I mean... Kids. Yeah, but like...

Fatherhood. If I can day drink with an excuse i mean that's pretty awesome very very very seldomly you'll get that if i go golfing maybe a little bit but um yes tomorrow i'm getting it pretty loose yeah nice and loose yeah what's the body count gonna look like how many brews are you putting down uh over the whole day over the course what do you think you think you're gonna stop drinking at like eight or you think you're gonna go all night no probably like a 10 count over several hours but yes sir ipas no i'm not trying yes sir light beers oh yeah very light beers wait so what you said so about a beer an hour uh you gotta up those numbers i mean it'll we'll probably mix it up i think we're doing like

a breakfast and make some bloodies oh so. So you're really drinking all day. You're going to have way more than 10 if you're starting at the morning and then you're going until the night. Who's going to be there? We need to get someone who's in charge of A, getting you drunk and two, documenting your drunk. Yeah, we want content out of that.

Who's your best? Who's like your pen pal? Who's your little class's your best who's like your uh like pen pal who's your like little class buddy who would be your your road buddy if you're on the buddy system in the group tomorrow i mean we got a lot of people i mean i'm friends with i'm friends with everybody so who would be your who would be who can we count on to do this what is this the sales team that's going uh it's the client solutions team so part of part of the sales org oh Oh, all right. Fine solution sounds like a fake... That's definitely some Accenture shit.

That's definitely some fucking consulting shit you brought over. Shout out to Big Four. Yo, shout out to Big Four. Love it. But I'm always an Accenture guy. If I had to divvy up my loyalties among the Big Four, do you even know what the Big Four are? No. Not even going to be on your radar for at least two more years.

Yeah. But I mean, if some of your buddies start getting jobs, but yeah, that's it. Yeah. I guess I was retweeting the tweet. I kind of checked you guys out for a second. Yeah. You want to get back to your story about the whole list of comedians that were playing last night?

No, I don't. I decided to stop that. This is actually a huge honor for me. So this is the son of a boy dad cast. But I was mentioned in the opening of son of a boy dad as part of the name inspo yeah you took it more honorably than you guys yes exactly you did or did you even say it on the area or it was only a text you only texted i think i texted you guys nice dude yeah because it wasn't even supposed to be that much of an honor it was it was really just supposed to be in passing but uh i'm glad that you're honored and you should there should

be at least some level of of an honor because you brought the title in uh if people don't know the title is based on steven chay calling himself a boy dad when everyone was trying to take pride in calling themselves a girl dad this was like minutes after kobe had been pronounced dead yeah the girl that movement and then i i said boy dad like hashtag boy dad with you did hashtag boy dad hashtag white lives matter no i mean i love kobe he was maybe the i don't know if i cried but like definitely it was i that hit home like yeah i mean ron and i are similar age you grew up with the guy yeah grew up with the guy and uh and this is also a momentous occasion not just because you're on with the cast of the podcast that you essentially birthed or had some lineage connection to a little

correlation to but you're also on the other side of the glass have you ever been on the other side of the glass sitting in one of these chairs really just fucking doing it yeah i mean me and owen hosted like two months ago or so yeah you were on it uh one of the i think it was before like around christmas yeah i've done it a couple times i thought that this was or so yeah you were on it uh one of the i think it was before like around christmas yeah i've done it a couple times i thought this was a uh like you were probably just not in the office those days yeah because i like to take you like to take your vacation grind on the road i'm not like pat who's just fucking boondoggling with the rediscovering america dude i saw him on a fucking boat we're about to enter boondoggle season heavy i was

actually uh i really thought that we i thought that our break started on tomorrow i didn't think we had work thursday or friday you just thought it was a july break pretty much i mean we have over a week off yeah but that's not even a week off no we had that last year too a week off yeah we did yeah we always have the week of fourth of july but fourth 4th of July falls on a Sunday now, so it's kind of confusing. And then the week of post-Christmas between Christmas and New Year's, which is always a little bit more than a week.

I did not know that we had the July break. I just have always grinded right through it. I've never taken even my foot off the gas a little bit. I ramp up in July. Well, that's the thing. It's like you can't really just not do anything for a week. Exactly. What are you just going to go all, you're just going to disappear from the internet for a week?

That's what Prime said. 21st and Prime. He said he doesn't like vacations. Yeah, I don't either. Exactly. That's what Kevin Durant said on Million Dollars Worth a Game. He said that the fifth game in a seven day stretch, the second day of a back-to-back that's when he goes the

hardest because that's when he knows he has to be great when everybody else is taking a rest that's when that's when we fucking ramp it up let's put out five pods Kevin Durant not play as hardest all the time no I guess not he plays that's what I that's actually what I got I mean that's what rainy Moscow crucified for

playing playing I play in easier games yeah I mean maybe he has to I don't know I mean, that's what Randy Moss got crucified for. Playing softer and easier games? Yeah. I mean, maybe he has to. I don't know. I mean, I guess... You're a little hooper. Oh, I'm a big hooper, bro.

Big hooper. Austin Hooper, brother. Fucking... You kind of take it easy sometimes. No, I never take it easy. I always dive. The only thing that holds me back is hamstring flexibility. I just can't bend over to pick up the ball.

I play basketball just straight up and down like a fucking pencil. Have you ever pulled a hamstring? No, because they're so tight that if I tried to pull it, it would just rip off the ball. Are you really a dive on the floor guy like pickup games? I think that might be the last time I actually yelled at someone to the point of almost a fist fight. Why? Because they dove over the floor it was

like a pickup game yeah you used to do the site indoorhoops.com which like you do pickup games all around the city with strangers or whatever and it's organized to a point um but there's just you know games to seven by ones and this guy they're loose ball going on the backcourt i go to pick out this guy's like diving at my legs i'm like dude what the fuck are you doing like we paid like 15 to be here This isn't like fucking game seven of the NBA finals. He didn't give a fuck though. Like what are you trying to do? You're going to dive into the Rage on Rondo against Jason

Williams and like, come on, man. Yeah, just take a shit. We're supposed to be having fun here. This is not like fucking, but I think that pickup basketball games are like behind bars. The second most injured or place where adult males fight. I think that like right behind bars i think that 20 of my tiktok content is fucking like hoopers about to like fight one

another and just like someone get people getting hard fouls and just be like what the fuck dude like this isn't the fucking nba or are there a lot of videos like that i saw one fairly recently and i loved it i need to see a lot that's all my fucking tiktok that's over 20 of it is just them fucking people people brawling out people fighting that's a reason to get on tiktok the shit has me figured it out figured out the the algorithm is just it's beautiful it's fucking i might try and get back on tiktok and just restart like just like make a new account so i can just restart my algorithm you should dude your algorithm can be what's your algo right now so bad no not all workout it's all just like it because it was like the i was like working on the bfs podcast for a while like

gathering like information about like the drama and shit so my podcast is just all like the sway house and like all this shit that i don't care about but it like uh you probably hate watch some of it or like go to the oh i'm a big hate watcher and a big commenter. But like a hate watch in the algorithm, like the algorithm doesn't know when a hate watch is happening. Yeah, but I click not interested and then they just keep on throwing it in. I didn't even know there was a not interested. Yeah, if you hold it down. The not interested button.

It's right above the save button. Dude, you just reset the algorithm. Go like user 82345, whatever. Yeah. And just pop some new shit in there. Brad Johnson Twitter game. Did you see that? What?

Big Cat tweeted about the other day. I'm a Brad Johnson stan now. Brad Johnson was the Super Bowl winning quarterback of the Bucs, 2003. He is a trick shot guy now. And he's incredible. He's awesome. But his Twitter handle is like Brad Joe J-O-H and then like eight numbers it's crazy it was a hundred percent it was a hundred percent the one he probably tried to do big brad big bad brad 14 which is his tiktok name

it was taken and twitter just recommended one he was like all right sure whatever just take the numbers that they give you yeah honestly fuck it yeah and he's so jacked to be doing trick shots it's like it is so genuine i love it yeah it's my favorite i set up alerts for him yesterday really how jay how old are you do you have one kid two how old are they uh two and a half and two months nice it's are you ready for the phase where they're gonna get really into dude perfect because it's inevitable uh i mean i'm trying to get a basketball hoop in my driveway so they're gonna get really into it for a very long time how long probably not like how long were you into it

says i don't know i went through a phase where i would watch them like i would watch all of their videos just like brooch them yeah oh they will like all kids do but are they still gonna because trick shots are fucking going hard they are they're awesome yeah the thing is the thing is tiktok like rebirthed a lot of those accounts that were like fizzling out because i guarantee they probably have like 15 million followers on tiktok now why did you hedge when i said they're awesome i mean you think it's kind of corny that they do trick shots no i think it's cool but i think like the part that i like about brad johnson his trick shots aren't the sickest i've ever seen but he's like genuine about and i like the guy i don't necessarily you know he's good at other shit you know that he's actually accomplished doesn't pft hate dude

perfect yeah but i think that they hate them they they over uh leverage the hate on dude perfect i don't think dude perfect is as hateable they're like corny and easy to make fun of but i don't think they're like hateable i don't like hate them but i don't i wouldn't be like oh sick like they're they're cool trick shots but i don't care about the individuals necessarily if i did it would be a different story like do you know their names are you do if you if you watch other no no i have no you don't i don't i haven't watched one of their i haven't watched one of their videos in like six years so it could be a bunch of Rey Mysterios out there and you'd still like it?

Same thing with Impractical Joker. It's hard not to watch one of their... It's hard to watch one of their videos and be like, oh, this is so fucking stupid. They're cool. But you know it's like Take 80. And it's hard to do. But it's hard to do. Yeah, but even if it's Take 80, they're still pretty impressive. Yeah, I guess.

Who is worse? Them uh or impractical jokers oh practical jokers are hilarious you don't think so i think that they're the exact same category i agree i probably i probably went through the phase where i watched both them i think it was around the same age i think i was probably in like sixth grade yeah like the stuff dana and marty were doing over quarantine the like mush madness stuff yes yes that was cool because you they showed all the misses like these guys i don't know but that's just different i think i mean some people don't want to watch fucking 18 hours of marty yeah yeah right cut to the chase right i mean i the way i see it is it's like it's the same as like watching any like sports highlight video like it's not like maybe it's not your

thing but like if you watch it you're going to be entertained are you not entertained no I am like I would be you know that's from oh no no it's before it's literally before his birth what is it from gladiator pro russell crow one of the more famous movie lines the dude

from blood diamond doesn't sound like it gladiator phoenix walking phoenix walking phoenix phoenix guy no you're not the One of the more famous movie lines. The dude from Blood Diamond. Who else is in Gladiator? Joaquin Phoenix. I'm a big Phoenix guy. No, you're not. The Joker. You're probably like River Phoenix, bro. I guess the Jokers.

And Her. Her, great movie. Super high pants. The futuristic movie? Her's the one where he dates the computer. He falls in love with the AI? No way. You would like that movie. Because he fucks the disc drive no he doesn't fuck they very hot there's one scene actually where they hire like a uh human form like a human what would you what was what's

the word it's not like a prostitute but it's like well it is it is also why do you say i would like that movie is that another instance of you miscalibrating what up what's up someone's alley no but you're just into like kind of like it's a really i feel like based on your interests that would that move it along didn't her win like best picture that's what i'm saying yeah it's a really good movie you want best picture win like probably like six years ago yeah probably 2014 that's why have i never heard of this i saw how have you definitely heard of it i've heard of the singer her yeah she's dope you've 100 heard of this movie i don't think i have but uh why why would i like just because i like movies that are critically acclaimed or because of the ai sci-fi fucking computers thing you think i want to fuck a computer no no but i'm a futurist yeah i believe

in the future yeah but i don't want to fuck a computer uh it's like Scarlett Johansson, so you might want to change your mind about that. Why don't you do your fucking research before you go say you don't want to fuck a computer? I guess I do want a hard drive. But what Sass is describing is like he hires a prostitute, like a real person.

A woman prostitute. And she just goes mute. And they have the computer pretend to be like her yeah so she's like the computer's talking about he's fucking the girl yeah didn't they also do that in uh what was what was another movie that they did that in uh uh fucking i don't think that's on like a very safe website i would assume no no no no no no no it was uh uh fuck what is it was like a blade runner blade runner blade the... It was like a... Blade Runner. Blade Runner. Blade Runner.

His wife's computer or some shit like that. Or like he comes home and he's like... It's just like he's in love with his apartment. Blade Runner 2049. 2049.

One of Jeff D'Lo's best reviewed movies ever. Yeah, I can't fucking believe that. Yeah, it was whatever. Is it weird that we just take Jeff D'Lo's word for it on all these movies? Yeah, but I think the fact

that there's three makes it more agreeable, but also at the same time, it's like they all have like Ken Jack and Jeff D'Aloa are like the same person. Like obviously they're going to give the exact same ratings for every movie. They're the same person, do you think? I think they're very different people. But in a movie way, like they definitely like the same kind of movies they're like the same species yeah species species i think uh i don't but to be honest i don't think i've ever seen one of their reviews and been like completely disagreed with it like i usually

it's pretty on par with what i think ken jack's more of like an anime guy and then jeff low like well i guess like one of his best reviewed movies is toy story which is an anime but it's like you know he's open-minded anime adjacent i think they probably they love marvel like fantasy shit bro they're you know what i mean like they what's their highest rated movie uh blade runner was one of them but the dark knight dark knight was up there what's your guys favorite movie franchise of all time? Like movie that there were like three or more of. It could be the Marvel franchises like a fucking Indiana Jones

type dip. I haven't watched any Marvel movies. I saw Spider-Man in like 2000 and then that was it. Is Marvel like Endgame and those movies or no? I think so. Those are really really fucking good.

I haven't seen the first one. I saw the second one and the third one and those movies are really fucking good. According to Caleb Presley your movie recommendations are doo doo. But Caleb's also weird. About everything I've seen. And Jeff's movie recommendations. Oh really? I mean I should have known.

I should have known that Caleb wasn't going to like that movie. Yeah. What does that say? The Goodfellas is the top one? I mean, that makes sense. What is the second one? The fact that they both have like, they have two of the same three like top top movies. Like how? How is that

possible? 2049 can't be one of the 10 best movies ever made. It just can't. And I don't like lord of the rings i had a hard time watching lord of the rings but i'd rather watch that than fucking the marvel shit i was listening to uh i was listening to joe rogan yesterday because quentin tarantino was on his uh and tarantino was on and i wanted to hear i listened the first like 10 minutes and joe rogan just loves bringing up the thing where he's like, oh, this could never happen in today's climate. And he was saying it about, he was like, I even watched Superbad.

And I was just like, this would never work these days. And Quentin Tarantino was like, and he was like, people wouldn't let it. And he's like, who are these people that you're talking about that wouldn't let this happen? And he just like completely goes off. And he's like, you can just do, you can make a movie. Like no one's going to stop you from making it. Yeah. And it was like, it was just a classic joe rogan is it more like in the pc concept like you can't make a lot of those yeah but like i don't think super bad has any like really edgy like jokes it's an r-rated comedy right but it's not like they're like saying like

slurs and shit it's not like fucking uh uh like animal house where they're like having sex with a girl that's like asleep or some shit like that. There's no rape going on. No, it's about high schoolers. I think it holds up pretty well. I don't think it's a crazy controversial movie at all. I think that's just people trying to dig at the, oh, people are too PC

these days. But it is just an easy take because, let's go brother. Snap that pic. I got you, doggy. I think it's just a very simple take because people have come to that conclusion and they refuse to challenge that conclusion. Joe Rogan refuses to challenge the conclusion

that any type of comedy couldn't work. People make edgy jokes all the time. Listen to Son of a Boy Dad. He has to say 15 things that should have got him canceled already. And people refuse to cancel him. You're out here on the ledge trying to get canceled. I haven't said anything

bad ever. You guys ran over someone with your car. Who did? Yeah, that did happen. Who did? People were very surprised by that. That was the first episode. That's a real story, right? Yeah. I mean, I was with three of my friends and we were going to a golf range and my buddy is a horrible driver and he drove.

He passed our turn that we were supposed to make. He looks behind him and then he just throws it in reverse because no one was on the street and I saw a guy crossing the street on his bike in the corner of my eye and he slams on. Was he walking the bike or riding it? Okay okay that's a little bit more excusable but and he slams on it and it was like it literally felt like we hit like just like a brick wall and we all just freeze and we sit there and we're like i'm like dude we just fucking hit a person and we go out and the guy's like rolling like it was so fucked but luckily, luckily, he was like the nicest guy of all time.

And he'd also been hit by a car like six times before that. Guys who like bike. How is this guy not walking his bike across the street if you've been hit six times? Dude, he was like, he was like, yeah, I know. He was like, he's like, it's okay. He's like, I'm really not mad. Like, can you guys just wait here for like 15 minutes in case I like my, in case like broke my neck or something. And then he just sat there and told us about like the 10 times that he's been hit by a car before he's like

this is this is one of the one of the least bad ones and then he got up and he went to the gym and he drove he broke he was riding his bike to the gym and he just went and he was like hopefully i can get some guilt some like he's like he's like my wife is definitely gonna bang me tonight after this but but if it's seven times his wife's probably like you're making it up at this point like you didn't get hit by a bike again you're fucking lying he said he like drove his bike off a cliff one time on accident like he's definitely doing this to get pussy it was super fucked up that guy's definitely not even in a relationship because anyone that's in a relationship that gets injured and refuses to seek medical attention when it's actually serious is probably the farthest away from

pussy he said that he was like like we gave him all of our like my friend gave him all of his information like his license and his like insurance and everything and uh he was like i'll call if like if i wake up and i can't move or anything like that but nothing happened he just got the wind knocked out of him and he was fine i mean it was like if you didn't prank your friend with that you're oh yeah i know that would have been very funny or if you didn't go to the the golf range and make a bunch of driving jokes uh dude when we were at the golf range things were tight things were tense tense yeah it was like hard to just like get into like just like forget that that happened you couldn't just be like you couldn't just get into, just forget that that happened.

You couldn't just make one joke and be like, that was a terrible drive. I was like, so... That's a good joke. That's a good joke about the situation. I was shaking. I was so shaken up from it. And then we just sat there and my buddy brought his clubs, got a bucket of balls for just himself.

And we just sat there and watched him hit balls. So you didn't even hit him. So would you recommend hitting somebody? Was this the guy that drove? This was the guy that hit the guy. Yeah. He was the loosest one. He was the loosest one. He just nails one and like putters off the teeth. It wasn't the worst drive of the day. See, that's a good joke.

There's a lot of jokes to be made there. I can't believe you didn't make any of them. Damn, I made more contact on the way over here. See? That's a good joke. And it's a golf joke. Just guys sitting for four hours trying to think of their best jokes. You have a lot of

innuendo that you can play with on a driving range. That was a primetime joke. That's how you should have sliced through that situation. And then called him and be like, Hey, I'm paralyzed. That would be funny too see from the pay phone yeah teach sass how to tell a joke getting in like a car accident is like the biggest feeling of just like regret instant like instantly after you're like damn if i was just like not as dumb i could

have just avoided that entire thing have you guys ever gotten in like a dumb accident uh actually yes and it's because of a similar situation like yours i was pulling into uh the blockbuster video parking lot and i made a left and there was a pscng like van like one of those like phone vans uh and it went into the lot right before me and then it immediately started backing up so it hit my the front of my car. But that's just something you can't really do. That's not anyone's fault. I mean, that's not your fault, I should say.

That's not really a dumb one. Mine are more like I've hit multiple stationary objects. He's talking about things that are his fault. Dumb ones that are his fault. What stationary objects have you hit? I hit my dad's car pulling out of our driveway. And then I'm trying to think i hit a i hit a rock a massive boulder like my first week i had my license um this past weekend uh i i were like on the last i was on a bachelor party the last day of the bachelor party we went atv riding and uh on the atv there's like a challenge course on

the little atv riding spot and on like the first like first like's like a challenge course on the little ATV riding spot. And on like the first, like first, like jumps of the challenge course, I fucking like ding the wall. And they're like, you've bent the like axle of this fucking car. Like you're, you're,

you're going to owe us $550. Like, that sounds like a scam. It was. And they, they like brought me out afterwards. Like I couldn't ride the ATV that I rented. I had to just sit like a fucking little bitch fucking next to the other guy just holding on like it was a roller coaster ride.

And then I got to the end and they're like, do you want to see the dance? Or they're like, this is what it's going to cost. And I was like, all right, can I see it? And they brought me out and showed it to me. And they're like, okay, this, this, this. And I got ready to argue with them. But it's like, how the fuck am I going to argue? What am I going to say?

Everything looked dead straight. Nothing looked like it was broken at all. It must have been a fucking paper mache ATV. That's dumb because it's like, I get if it's a car, but ATVs, I feel like it's bound to someone's going to break something. And then they told me the liability is on me. It was a challenge course. So I was like, okay, I'm going to fucking give it a little bit of gas. Maybe they oh it was it was a challenge course so i was like okay i'm

gonna fucking give it a little bit yeah like maybe they shouldn't let people on the challenge course so this is i've been atv right this is the test to rent it like no no learning thing no no no it was like a challenge like it was supposed to be challenging there's like banks and like little fucking like jumps and shit like that so i've been on atv twice one was like a very easy course that was like very fun and the other one was a very challenging course and i almost actually went over a cliff on an atv i got saved by a bush that would have been hilarious that would have been a tough death oh my you got saved by a bush so is that treacherous uh i probably wouldn't have died but i definitely would have like went down with the atv probably like feet. Oh my god, you would have died. Those things flip over and paralyze people

all the time. Yeah, shout out that bush. Yeah, shout out that bush. Big bush. They were filming. It was a brand new course that they had built so they were filming the video that they were going to put on their website and they just had me

fucking dinging the shit. The tires bent in. I can't like i'm i like tried to drive it like the shit won't drive at all i'd like waddle over like a little bitch into my and it's all on video like you guys have to at least if you're not going to put it in the video send me the video so i can make little content out of it was uh i gotta ask because you were at a bachelor party that he was on was john mayer on your bachelor party no no no come on it's the other way. It's not even, I don't even have like a direct

I don't like, I don't like talk to him. I talk to him in like through like the group chat. You were on like a group text or email with him. Yeah. You're friends with John Mayer? Yeah. Or like tangentially. Second connection. Second hand. Yeah. That's cool. One degree of friendship from him.

You should get him on the act. All right. All right right i'll do it you get him on son of a boy dad i mean if it all goes well i will all right how's it going so far you guys what what metrics what metrics should we go by you know the number are we having fun by the charts by the fucking download i asked i mean i see you guys recording in here sometimes which is way better we we kind of figured it out you guys just kind of this is just an unused room right yeah no totally um you guys are the classic put out three episodes in the first day strategy how's that classic who else has ever done that i'm just i'm he said that or no you're kidding. He said that, or no, was it you that said that we shouldn't, or no, it was Will Compton said we shouldn't do that? Bro,

comp, check the fucking charts, bro. Hashtag sign Will Compton. He didn't, yeah, he didn't want us to do that because he was fucking scared.

Yeah. Scared that we were coming from fucking busting the boys' ass, but we wanted to flood the market right away. We wanted to give people a taste of what it was

going to be like. And now people are mad because we're only doing one a week and everyone's like, More, more, more. So should we give them more, Steve? Because it ain't a thing but a chicken wing. We really just

pump them out. We've got like 40 ready to go. It's like fucking nothing. Yeah, it is. It is a very bird man. It's one shot. Yes, exactly. There's no breaks. That's fine. You guys don't edit it. no no we don't take out anything we just fucking let it fly just raw raw shit bro which i feel like that's

not that weird at all like a lot of podcasts at barstool cut up their shit a lot yeah there's a mix but i think that that's but like most podcasts that i look that i've listened to before i started working at barstool all of them are just raw well like talk strategy with us, Stephen. It's tough. Pardon my take. They tape interviews. If it's an interview, I get it because it's like they'll do a segment before and then they'll have an... We'll also tape a decent amount during the daytime and then some of it's reacting to sports

after, so we'll do that later. Some other people on the show edit pretty seriously. Call them out. KB and Nick? Say their names. Brandon Walker? He does? Shut up. on this show you know edit like pretty seriously so yeah yeah uh call him out kbn neck brandon walker he does shut up i thought he was a straight shop wow i'm just kidding uh yikes no you're not dude no you are not kidding allow me to be frank i've heard is very editing he is he's assiduous allow me to be frank a bar barstool podcast or now?

It is like tangentially on our network. I think I already said tangentially on this show. Did you? Yeah, I just said it. So I don't think that that would be in your head unless I said it. So maybe some credit. It's in my repertoire. I got a 510 verbal on my SATs. English not to brag.

510 is not good. 510 is failing. That's bad. Out of 800. I got the exact same score twice on my sat is both sections you tried to run it i got a 510 too you guys are both smart that's inexcusable no that's not smart 510 is like i'm saying you're smarter than that that's just not excusable the first no no no no no the first time i ever took it i got like a 400 on math and then i had to go to like get like tired then i had to start doing tutors and shit and then i got it up a lot but it was bad wait you should have just told me you're going to college for just

one semester yeah i don't need this shit i just barely need to get by i'm gonna actually be in content so uh kb and nick definitely both got like fucking 800s. Yeah, they did. Geography's not a section on that. Freak brains. Roasted. But I want to talk about you giving us good strategy for Son of a Boy. I also want numbers.

But before that, Sass, we haven't talked about your Rubik's Cube yet. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, I've been able to solve the Rubik's cube for like five years probably actually probably more than that so like when you were taking the sats in math you had like extreme pattern recognition sorted in your brain but you just couldn't fill in the right bubbles for like fucking basic multiplication exactly that's what i mean about like you're a smart person

like that is that is like mathematics no it's just matter memorizing an algorithm yeah a rubik's cube can be solved out of any position i think like 64 68 moves something in that real in that neighborhood yeah i mean there's different algorithms i'm right now i'm trying to learn uh f2l which is like it makes the first it makes the first this is math shit what are you talking about it makes the first two layers go way faster and then if i get that if i figure out how to do that i'll be able to get it in like 30 seconds probably What are you talking about? It makes the first two layers go way faster. If I figure out how to do that, I'll be able to get it in 30 seconds probably. What do you think about the guy

that juggles three Rubik's cubes and solves them while he's juggling? Trying to get to that level? He's probably just a freak of nature. You're a freak of nature. You can do a Rubik's cube. Who else can in here? Probably someone else.

Not in this room, but probably someone in the office can I can. Who else can in here? Probably someone else. Not in this room, but probably someone in the office can do it. Who? Definitely someone in the office. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a pretty rare and pretty impressive thing. When I saw it, I was like, wow, this is next level. Even the fact that you know that there's 68 to whatever, 74 moves that it takes to do a Rubik's Cube,

and you still can't or haven't done it. It's hard. I tried during my high school job. I brought Rubik's Cube and you still can't or haven't done it. It's hard. I tried during my high school job. I brought Rubik's Cube to entertainment because smartphones were not really the thing at the time. Yikes. Old head. I think without the algorithm,

the first person to ever solve it took them a month. The first person to ever do a Rubik's Cube or the first person who like wrote the algorithm probably whoever i mean whoever wrote the okay like it's i would see it being nearly impossible to do if you don't know the algorithm yeah i've gotten two sides it's the best i've ever yeah and if you get two sides it's usually luck yeah definitely yeah why did you learn how to do that um i don't know i just wanted to actually i think i think i

learned it because i was going through a big logic phase the rapper yeah i would have just thought you were trying to get babes i just want to be alive yeah no it was before that it was before that it was the one where he has the spaceman uh like artwork on the album really yeah and he did he did an interview and he did he did it with his eyes closed shut up i think an ex of mine like uh wrote or like uh sang like eight songs on that album or sang on eight songs of that it was a good album i don't i don't listen to logic at all anymore is that the suicide hotline yeah that was the downfall of his i mean that was just embarrassing that album well he retired from rap like last summer or something like that he was like tearfully he's

like i like i'm gonna miss like charlie and like yeah jojo and like i just want to be with my dog and then like a month later he was like lyrical miracles people he just jumped right back into it like nothing had happened like bro you just retired you can't just retire and be back the same month in the same fucking house in the same studio in your garage making the same music like he's got a cool house yeah well he'll tell you that he never leaves oh yeah yeah i don't even go to the club man that's not for me i'm built there when i was listening to logic though it wasn't like he wasn't as hated as he is now. But he was as corny. To be clear. He was as corny.

Yeah, but I didn't know that. And no one did. But he also is a technically very proficient rapper. So it's like, it's tough. Wait, I have a question about... And it was cool. He did a freestyle while solving the Rubik's Cube. It was sick. And I was like, I want to learn how to solve the Rubik's Cube.

That was your inspo? I feel like freestyling would have been an easier threshold to get over. I want to learn how to solve the Rubik's Cube. That was your inspo? I feel like freestyling would have been an easier threshold to get over. I want to learn how to freestyle. No, I would never even try to freestyle. Why? Because I would be so bad at it. You don't think it's corny? No.

No, I just don't have the skills for that. But you could solve a Rubik's Cube. Yeah. If Logic can do both, why can't you do both? I've got my cube in my bag right now, bro. Do you? Bust it out. Do this shit conversationally. We're a video show now. Yeah, do it.

Get it. Get it. Get it. Then why would you say you have it in your bag? I'll tell Tommy to get it. You definitely can't do that F2L in front of everybody. No, I can't. I don't know how to do it. Are you still working on it? Can you do the F1L? No, there's no such thing as F1L. Right. Right, of everybody. No, I can't. I don't know how to do it. Are you still working on it? Can you do the F1L? No, there's no such thing as F1L. Right, right, of course. Steven, tell us,

should we go two episodes a week? What are the benefits and the drawbacks of going two episodes a week? I see two episodes a week being no bad. I feel like if we did Monday or Tuesday and not Thursday, maybe I don't want to do Friday either because I feel like no one's going feel like that if we did like monday and third or like tuesday and not thursday

maybe i don't want to do friday either because i feel like no one's going to listen on a friday it depends if the demand is there like there's two ways to look at there's like the sales demand like are you guys getting ads yet or is it too much like that would be a reason to go to two another one would be yeah like all the fans want it so do all the fans want to the drawback would be if you go to two um then potentially the downloads could suffer because if you have whatever it is hour 15 hour and a half um for the first episode is that too much for people to get through along with all their other pods that they listen to and all the other things that they do um that like maybe three hours a week is too much for them. So it's kind of a delicate balance. So two 45-minute episodes that we record at the exact same time

and split up, so it's an hour and a half commitment? I think you should get a pulse from the fan base about what they really want. How do we gauge the fan base? How do we get our finger on that pulse? Because I don't even know what... I want to know the numbers. I want to know how many fans we actually have.

Don't tell them. I need to know. Don't tell them. Don't even tell them what the target is. I don't know. Off the top of my head, I have to know the numbers. I want to know how many fans we actually have. I need to know. Don't even tell him what the target is. I don't know. Off the top of my head, I have to look it up. Why don't you look it up? I'm not going to do it on air. Don't look it up. I'd love to know on air.

What do you think? What do you hope for? I don't know. Don't even say. I would expect... Don't even say. All I know is our YouTube numbers. That's a pretty good indicator. Don't even say. I would expect like... I don't know. Don't even say. I don't know. Don't even say. All I know is our YouTube numbers. That's a pretty good indicator.

That's disappointing. Oh, it depends on like what medium you guys are big on. So like Million Dollars Worth of Game is bigger on YouTube. And so is BFF like bigger on YouTube. That's them. That's not us. Yeah, we're not. We're audio boys.

Yeah. Also, I think ours is bigger on... What's it called? The podcast platform. Like Apple spotify yeah okay well then the youtube numbers don't necessarily have to be indicative but they'll be like a sliver of kind of the bigger pie do you want to tell people what the story was from the company party now now that it's a day later what no okay we'll still keep that one under wraps uh did you guys see that fucking pft and feidelberg have a beach house beach house pft talked about his uh summer share for a bit um yeah i mean good for them i don't know where it is but they posted a picture of it i saw

did they pick a name for it i don't know do you think it looked nice yeah it looks like a nice house looks nice it looks victorian kind of looked a little bit old i feel like a lot of beach houses like not many of them are modern yeah i like a modern beach house you think sass will get the invite down to pft and fights yeah no you and fights are kind of pals right yeah i've hung out with pft and fights are you gonna get the invite down or what? Probably not, no. Fuck, man. But also, I'm not really a big beach guy.

Oh, really? No. What are you? Mountain. He's a mountain guy. He's a mountain man. Didn't you just get deflated lung from being in the city of Denver? Yeah, he's a mountain man.

No, first of all, I didn't. That was a false diagnosis. And second of all, yeah, but I'm from New England. So there's mountains there too, like Vermont and New Hampshire and Maine. But also I'm from a beach town. So I grew up on the beach. I always didn't like going to the beach. I don't like getting all sandy and sticky from the water.

The water gets you sticky? I like the beach more now. I used to hate it when I was younger because my mom would bring me. I would stay for like six hours and it would just be unbearable. It would be unbearable. I never really got how people just sit on the beach for like that amount of time. I don't understand it at all. I am understanding it a lot more.

Is it just because people want to be tan as fuck? You just want to not do shit. It's more fun when you're older. I enjoy it a lot more now. PFT, we brought you in because A, we want to make it hard on whoever's doing the camera angles. What's the hardest seat for me to sit in?

Zah, what's the hardest seat for him to sit in? Steve, you know it. What's the hardest seat for him to sit in? We're talking about your beach house right now. Yeah, the beach house. Have you guys got a name for it yet? I just thought of one actually in the elevator on the way over. I just texted Fights. I was thinking that. Here comes Fights. Let's get Fights in here. Fights. Fights. We're talking about your beach house have you guys got a name for it yet i just thought of one actually in the elevator on the way over i just texted fights i was thinking that here comes let's get fights in here fights we're talking about your beach house this is perfect oh okay grab a seat brother oh thank you you bet uh yeah i just texted fights this is second year just thought of it if england wins

the euros we should call it the it's coming home. Yeah, it's coming home. Are we going CO or CU? I mean, that's kind of like a Rorschach test. Whichever way you want to spell it, that tells me how horny you are. Right now, very, I guess. How did the beach house come to be? I feel like this is a massive moment, and is Sass going to get an invite? Because he's angling

for one. Are you the king of New York? Are you the king of the shore? I grew up on the shore but a different shore oh no you're from massachusetts right yeah yeah okay but i mean not not the jersey shore that's not the i've actually i've actually never been home to me really yeah this will be the virgin voyage jersey shore is awesome it's fun there's no rocks on the beach yeah no literally there's not one rock that's such a massachusetts i feel like most beaches don't have rocks the beach is where, literally, there's not one rock. That's such a Massachusetts. Most beaches don't have rocks. The beaches where I'm from, it's like, it's 90%. It's almost all rocks. Are you North Shore?

No, I'm South Shore. What beaches? Duxbury. Really? I go like Westport. Westport's all sand. We're dunes. When I first went to Jersey Shore, which was like two years ago, I was like amazed by how there was no rocks. There's sand on the beach. Shore, which was like two years ago, I was amazed by how there was no rocks.

Someone was telling me today that a lot of houses on Jersey Shore, they don't have lawns. It's just rocks. Yes. I call that zero-scaping. When there's no grass, nothing that you have to cut. Do we have lawn or do we have rocks? I think we have a lawn in the front yard and then the

backyard is like 90% rocks. But it's got like a little fire pit area. That's awesome. It's nice. What kind of chairs are on the pit? Adirondacks? I think we got some Adirondacks. I actually, when I was doing the tour of the house, I specified.

I was like, because the entire backyard was under construction at the time. I was like, okay, we either need like a birdbath or Adirondack chairs. I'll buy whichever one you don't provide for me. But I need one of the two in the time. I was like, okay, we either need a birdbath or Adirondack chairs. I'll buy whichever one you don't provide for me, but I need one of the two in the house. I've heard Adirondack chairs are very common at the Drew's Drawer and most beach houses, I feel. But I've also heard that Adirondack chairs

are signs of swingers. Okay, okay. Well, then definitely get some Adirondack chairs. I've got to call Shannon in. There are a lot of fucking... Everyone has adirondack i gotta call shenanigans there are a lot of everyone has adirondack chairs that's like what's the thing on the cape they put up like that star they're like a lot of cape houses have like a i know about the pineapple i don't know about the star sorry david i think no sorry david damn i think my orders call me um it's like there's like some kind of star i believe that's like popular on the cape that's like saying that's

a sign of swingers it's like everyone has it adirondack chairs are so incredibly popular they're very common down the shore no they're coming everywhere like i'm pretty sure every grandparent in america i've heard ankle bracelets are i've heard nike that the air 270s are yep wait what shoes yeah i've heard cracking the garage door is a sign. Really? Also, leaving your keys on the left side of you at a bar, or maybe it's the right side of you. What? I saw that on a Criminal Minds episode. Pineapple paraphernalia?

All pineapple shit. Pineapple Macs. You got it. You got it. I've also heard that, well, let's see, leaving the keys to the left, that's something that could happen all the time. Yeah.

Like by accident. It's like you're leaving your keys out. On the bar. Like you sit down at the bar, you put your shit on the bar cap. Take a's like you're leaving your dreams out on the bar like you sit down at the bar you put the shit on the bar your pockets you want to sit in the bar do you never went to a bar you've never you never sat at a bar or you just take shit out of my pocket so it doesn't

dig into your fucking thighs like real bad oh you got those skinny chicken legs you don't know not about that I don't I don't carry any keys on me besides car key yeah or do you have one of those sweet keys that's just remote yeah it's like a keypad so you don't even have so how do you do cocaine charge a glass i guess you could use your glasses you always have glasses you could do a little dip a little dip of the end of the glasses not last thursday at

the holiday party when people said i was looking very hot. Oh, without the glasses. Yeah, but you did cocaine before that. I've never done cocaine. Have you ever seen cocaine? I've been offered and that's the coolest feeling. Followed by the worst feeling of being like, I don't do drugs. Well, I mean, it is honestly like the best part about doing cocaine is being offered cocaine in the first place. Oh, cool.

Yeah, that's really the highest. Yeah, right before doing it is like it falls off very quickly. Being offered cocaine is validation that someone thinks you're cool. Yeah. I had a guy come up to me the other day at a bar and I was in the bathroom

and he was like, yo, what's up? You're Lil Sass, right? And I was like, yeah. He's like, you got any blow? And I was like, that's such a crazy thing to ask someone

who you met three seconds ago. Yeah. Is Sass also a... And then I was like, no. And I was like, what are you... And he was like, what are you doing here? I was like, I'm such a crazy thing to ask someone who you met three seconds ago. Yeah. Is sass. And then I was like, no. And I was like, what are you? And he was like, what are you doing here? I was like, I was just, I'm just here with some friends. I was like, how about you?

And he's like, just do and blow. So he had, he had, he was just collecting it all. Yeah. Collecting it from as many people as possible. He's trying to get all the cocaine wherever he was at. So, yeah, you do give off like, I mean, in this, in the most respectful way possible, by the way, it's like, you know, cocaine vibes like kate moss did back in the day yeah you're skinny as fuck like you have no muscle mass i'm fucking jacked you have like all of your clothes

are baggy on you this sweatshirt is particularly baggy i only put it on because it's cold to cover so you're obviously with your gym routine and eating habits trying to get buff lean whatever you're trying to be in an ideal physique yeah including your instagram feed and whatever um if you or like your well your explore page was all like oh yeah yeah all dudes lifting yeah if you could guarantee that you would have your ideal physique would you butt chug a protein shake yeah definitely yeah i mean that's such an easy solution yeah i feel like i've been trying to get jacked for like three years. If I could have just butt chugged a protein shake, I would have done that a while ago.

I would be talking about this on the show the other day. What happens with butt chugging? That's what we were talking about. It just sits in your in your sits in your fucking hole. I'm saying it's a full beer. That's why I think beer is different than alcohol, because I think alcohol can like seep it like a tampon of alcohol can absorb into your bloodstream or something like that it can make it horrible for like your organs it's we were talking about the show obviously inspired

by you guys and our pretty one of our producers she said that she's done a shot before she's never done a beer but she's done a shot oh my god but that's she just came up she's like yeah no we all said that was more common like i think nick said that he'd done that a woman doing it no like hard alcohol yeah got you got you but then like it just comes out the ass like it doesn't like your body doesn't absorb it no no i think it does it does i mean no i actually i don't know if it's just like a shot like i know i've heard of like people put like the cotton balls or like a tampon tampons i've heard of people put the cotton balls or tampons. But I guess that just stays in there. You probably absorb it easier with that. I don't know. A shot

must just sit in your ass. Steve-O used to do the IV. He put vodka in an IV bag and then just put it into his vein. Steve-O, I think. He got absolutely wrecked. Tommy Lee did it with Jack Daniels. He said he used to shoot Jack Daniels.

Is it possible if you were if you were to like pump air directly into your butthole like just a massive amount of air really quickly is it possible to inflate like a cartoon character like yeah i'm assuming you would make it well loaded definitely i heard that if you inject even a little bit of air into your like bloodstream it will kill you no no that's not true i've heard that bro i this i can i can vouch for this i was in the hospital last week and i got an iv and as the one was putting in i was just looking and i wasn't even like she thought i was eyeing an air bubble and i wasn't i was just staring at a needle going to my arm and she goes no that's not big enough

don't worry about it and i was like what she's like it's got she's like she she made like a hand figure she's like the bubble's got to be about this big what what that's why i would rather her just say nothing and say that i know i honestly hadn't even noticed she thought i was like staring at that and like getting nervous i was just looking at my arm it doesn't seem like the most like perfect measurement staring and be like no that's i think that's way too yeah it was like yeah that's fine dude first you should probably maybe it didn't get in me maybe it just popped before it got in me or something like that but she was like that's like don't worry that'll be fine you're a sick fuck for watching though yeah i wasn't not watch you said you're watching the needle go oh i love

watching the needle why i've never even had an iv no i don't think so you've never taken out given a blood sample taking blood well i've taken i've done i don't think so you've never like taken out given a blood sample taking blood well i've taken i've done i've gotten blood taken do you watch and you'll go in uh no i was doing that with like that vaccine i was like yeah give me that fucking shit the vaccine's not i don't find the vaccine i don't wind up here but if it's in a vein if i could like see the fucking no no i was actually i was pissed off that the vaccine didn't hurt that Matt I wanted to feel something you know have you ever gotten like the HPV shots yeah those ones hurt

yeah really those ones different needle I don't think I've ever gotten it and when I got I got the flu shot and I think I had to get it I think I had to get it to go to college it's like one of the required ones and I remember I was getting the flu shot and that one at the same time and she like gives me the flu

shot and she's like that was the flu shot this is the at the same time and she like gives me the flu shot and she's like that was the flu shot this is the hpv or no she gives me the flu shot i'm just like that was the hpv one and i was like oh okay and then she pulls out this like massive blue syringe and she's like this is the flu shot i'm like no it's not i'm like i've gotten the flu shot before that's not what it looks like and then it fucking killed and was it hurt going in or hurt like after it hurt going in and it killed like for like a week after yeah i definitely it was definitely the most painful shot i've gotten i got the hpv at the end of college and that i had the same feeling i was like is it is it too late yeah like because it might be this might be too late i i think i i

hadn't been back to a doctor in like this hospital visit was probably like probably 10 years before that since the last time i saw you say why you went to the hospital is everything i still don't know we still don't know i'm still like seeing doctors i've seen like seven doctors now so were you just you were just sick yeah they were just like i guess that's pretty common with it like yeah we don't know what it was but the medicine seems to have fixed it so i i just looked like a pelican i had like this huge i have i had like a i've had like a sore throat for the last couple days and i was like i'm gonna be so pissed if i got whatever you had but you're a hypochondriac and i just wake up the next day he had the actual symptoms of it though he wasn't i know i had a i

had swollen uh whatever lymph nodes yeah the nodes get you and is that what it was no swollen nodes dude they it was they don't they they have no idea they and like i've gone out before where they don't know what it was and it's like that's fine whatever i don't care but this was like they're like i had 14 hours straight of tests done and i was like just trying to get myself i don't have cancer because i dip so much and i was like oh boy this is throat cancer like it's gotten because they weren't like just go home they're like no we're gonna try a new hospital you gotta we gotta figure like there's something wrong with you i was doing mri ct scans all that shit and they were just like at the end of the night they were just like yeah i guess just go home and then i go when i saw that specialist the next day i

told the guy i was like yeah i chew tobacco a lot and he's like how much i was gonna do about a can a day and i've done that for like 12 to 15 years and he's like whoa that's a lot and then he like checked me out for everything and he goes like he was calling me a bitch he's like he goes if you're being honest about how much you dip you show no signs of it i was like dude i'm not lying to you about how many carcinogens i intake like i'm not trying to it's usually the exact opposite right like they tell doctors that whenever a patient tells you how much they drink you should multiply it by three exactly everybody lies to you about it do they tell doctors that yeah that's pretty much actually when i heard that i was like that's exactly

correct that's the perfect ratio for how much i lie i mean have you ever gone to like a dentist and they've said have they said anything i told them i was at my because i've heard k i've heard stories of like kids i went to high school with who only dipped for like a couple months and they and the dentist would be like are you dipping like? We can tell. My dentist, he goes, we're seeing gums run in your family. He's like, yeah, you're pretty good. Are you comparing me to my dad? Because he also dips. I think we both just chewed a backhoe.

You might be bionic, though. This shit just might not affect you. Kevin was saying that. Kevin's like, that's exactly what's going to happen to you. You're going to live to 150. You're just throwing everything at it. Throw the book at your body and just see what the fuck happens. Maybe you've done it so long.

It's like your mouth is has calluses on it that become used to it. Like if you dip a little bit, you're in vast danger of getting cancer. If you dip a whole lot, it's like your body accumulates all the all the antibodies to it. I think your gums are kind of liver ask in the sense that they regenerate. At least that's what someone told me in high school when we were talking about chewing tobacco and i've just took it as gospel since so like that's why i just drink and chew tobacco because they're two things that fix themselves it's a little tail honestly because i've heard of people who have like to cut fucking cancer out of their mouth with like nail clippers like little cancer like like these

fucking hard-ass football players. That alone terrified me enough. There aren't a lot of horror stories with drugs or things you can put in your body that actually spook me, but that sounded fucking terrifying. Dude, that is fucked. I played baseball when I was in college my freshman year with this kid who had braces still. Tough scene. But he would,

before he put a dip in, he would go like this on his braces in order to cut his mouth up more. So when he put a dip in, would go like this on his braces in order to cut his mouth up more so when he put a dip in he'd buzz harder one of the more badass things i've seen i dipped when i was in like ninth grade like for like a week and i tried doing like long cut and i had braces and it was oh my god it was a shit show try to spit it through your braces it was just all over my mouth and i just couldn't get it out and i didn't like swallow for like two hours straight because i was just trying to get it all out and i am a hypochondriac like i said so i'm just like if i got like one little flake in

me i'd be like i'm gonna start throwing up that's that's why i did it that was the last time i ever did it i uh because i had braces when i dipped in high school and we would get tea bags and we dump out the tea bags, and then we would put chewing tobacco in it, and then we'd wrap it up and put that pouch in our mouth so it wouldn't get caught in our braces. Oh, that was pre-pouches? Yeah.

You invented pouches? Damn. That's crazy. That's what I pretend to say. Bro, Saturdays are for the boys and pouches. That's a fucking track record. Everyone would be like, why is there all the tea gone in a high school cafeteria?

Yeah. It was because we'd steal it all and use it in, like, our locker room. That's hilarious. What about you, Chev? You ever dipped? I have not. You should dip live. It will. I've never seen the Joe Rogan dipping live and he's talking and he's like, he's like, yeah, he's like, I swallowed it.

Like, the whole thing. And he's like, you swallowed it? And he's like, yeah. And he's just like, it doesn't affect him at all. He swallows the entire thing. That's what Edelman was telling us. We were visiting him one time. He's like, yeah, sometimes I just gut it. Is that an actual term that people use?

Yeah. Gutting it. Yeah, dude, I used to gut it. And then when we, why he, I don't know,

we were driving and shit like that, but he also, when we would ski, he'd like, like I was, and I'm talking about like when I'm real young, I thought he would spit and I would always see the brown in the snow and i just thought that's what happened like when you became a man you just spit brown like shit doesn't come out of your ass anymore it just leaves your body through

one spit at a time just a little bit of spit but the doctor by like after telling me that like he's like you look like you're fine he just he then looks me dead in the eyes he goes it's gonna kill you though like all right yeah i know i know know and he was just dead here he wasn't fucking around he's like it will kill you have you tried um never like never an earnest effort i've stopped for like a couple weeks before and shit like that but like i always like being like i'll dip again at some point yeah i dip a lot less now than i used to but it's still a lot more than but you're virile you're like a boy you're boy still you have energy you're youthful you're V-Row. You're like a boy. You're a boy still. You have energy. You're youthful. You're strong. Why fucking quit now, dude? Tell all of that to my

body. I say you got 15 more years of it and then you start quitting. Wait, how old are you? You're under 30, right? No, I'm 32. Oh, okay. I think my dad just quit cold turkey when he was like 55, so I'll go for that one. Really? And he's just done

now? Just done. Hasn't done it once since. That's so fucking impressive. Yeah. So you have fucking turkey when he was like 55 so i'll go for that one really and he's just done now just done hasn't done it once since that's so fucking impressive yeah so you have fucking he's got like willpower and shit though i don't have that you 20 plus years though let's fucking go yeah he's fine you should just make yourself have a really bad experience with it just like put 15 pouches in and throw up everywhere and then you'll never do like thank you for smoking you should try one of those hypnotist like hypnotizing things people in high school uses they used to try snorting it oh wow that's disgusting to have the awful experience yeah snorting plexiglass isn't an idea no not at all but it wasn't kill you pretty easily uh or like the old time what was the old time shit enough enough snuff snuff oh i rip snuff now

really it's kind of fun and you snuff is fun it's tobacco to snort. It's like brown, really fine powder. Like powder fun. I do just like snorting stuff. I do just like snorting stuff. It turns your nostril numb. And then you get a little rush from it. And then when you blow your nose later, it looks like a crime scene.

It's a mess. It is bad. Same thing when you snort Adderall. Just blue. I have one buddy who like loves snuff he brings it everywhere and like we'll just we'll just leave it in the middle of the kit like table it out to dinner and just like everyone kind of put it in like and if you just do drugs because that's what it looks like you just do it in the open no one cares yeah it's kind of crazy like people just assume that you know what you're doing even though it just looks like cocaine if they unless you get close enough to like inspect the powder walking by you just see people be like but it's brown well they're just using coke on the table

but if you do anything with enough confidence people won't like interrupt you like oh they're supposed to be doing that here i guess that's how it is here i guess they have a permit heroin's brown like people fucking snort heroin sometimes like there's fucking like you could be there's other brown shit i guess it's a different shade of brown but jesus christ if i saw someone snorting heroin i definitely would not interrupt that no they're having some steaks and they're just fucking snorting heroin out of a fucking pile mount everest the fucking heroines at the middle of the table and they're just going fucking finger finger dipping in it it's preposterous but uh can we get back to

your guys shore house how did how did this come to be how did this uh where did this blossom from i mean i i think it just started because we didn't really get to do anything last summer last summer was like you know the last year vacations got canceled stuff like that and then i don't i forget like how it even became a point of conversation but i was like i want to live next to a beach this summer. Are you comfortable disclosing the town or area? No, absolutely not. The Jersey Shore is really long.

It's like 100 plus miles long. Yes, it's pretty long. It's a long shore, so no. Counting on it. I'm not going to say the town. It's on the Jersey Shore. It's by the ocean. There's North Jersey, South Jersey, Central. It's on the Jersey Shore. It's by the ocean. That's your – All right.

There's North Jersey, South Jersey, Central. There's tons of places you could be. There's a lot of different places. In New Jersey. In New Jersey. By the ocean. And then I started to put together a team, and Fights was like the first person I asked. I was like, hey, you want to do this?

And he was like, absolutely. We had a couple other people that were thinking about it. But then July, and especially for Donnie, Jaloon is a tough month for traveling. You're in, you're out. So we're just going to be down there the entire month, kind of like an open door policy. If anyone wants to come join, we're like, yeah. If we got space in the house, bring it on.

What does your roster look like? Residence. Pretty deep roster. Strong. I think Pat is coming down. Like Kate's Pat is coming down this weekend. Kate might come down. Donnie's coming by for a little bit.

I think Hank's coming by towards the end of the month. Just keeping it wide open. That's awesome. Nate told me he was coming down. Yeah, sure. Did you guys know that? You guys are all invited? Everyone's invited.

That's incredible. There you go. Yeah, that's a formal invite. We were fishing this entire time. I'm glad you guys finally got wind of it. But the Jersey Shore is a beautiful shore, one of the better shores, but I can't believe that you've never been.

Where'd you used to be? A Newport guy? That's actually a lie. I have been one weekend, probably like eight years ago, I went to Manusquam with Kevin. But that's... I peed on his couch.

I don't think he knows that. but uh but yeah i did new i did newport every summer for like probably for my freshman year of college till our first year here our first or second year in new york i stopped because it was like our first summer in new york i went every thursday night and then it's like a six hour drive home and i was like i'm never doing that ever again but that was the saturdays for the boys promo but that was the Saturdays for the boys promo right that was so Saturdays for the boys was the summer before we moved here or like it was I think Dave

technically lived here but like yeah but the Barstool move had been pushed back it was supposed to be March and it got pushed back so then like yeah I guess the second technically summer of Barstool Saturdays for the boys was like a Barstool sponsored house and then after that I think I was out dude I think that you could get a new catchphrase in Jersey. I think that that's possible. New shore,

new surroundings, new environment, new stimuli. There's probably a new catchphrase just sitting out there. I don't know what it is. I like fucking the, what was it, King's Landing 2, Too Fast, Too Furious? That's a new, put that on a t-shirt. Put that on a t-shirt. College campuses all over the place

love that. People will know. People will know. I've realized that like beach houses and shore houses, they all have flags. Or at least they all have places to put a flag in their front yard. And then people hang like the flag of their team outside. Or not like their sports team. Sometimes like on the railing. Their group that they're with outside. So barstool flags?

Yeah. Because like the Jersey Shore is a massive place for barstool flags. Like if you just go through i mean the cio fucking avalon the south jersey shore towns that i know yeah lots of barstool flags i was in manasquan a couple years ago i was on the beach and i'm just chilling on my beach blanket and maybe i don't know 10 15 yards away this group has this boombox they're playing like whatever songs they got on their playlist and then they start playing my real girlfriend like on their boombox yeah were they fishing for you or they i don't know if they're playing like whatever songs they got on their playlist and then they start playing my real girlfriend like on their boombox yeah were they fishing for you or they i don't know if

they're if they're fishing they were doing a good job yeah they caught they caught me right in my narcissism and i was like that's just a coincidence what's up boys i was i was walking into here yesterday and there was a guy walking down the street like 1990s style enormous boom box playing on max volume i don't think i've ever seen that before radio really was he was he uh preaching preaching the good lord's word no he wasn't it was just like a hip-hop black you ever see that yeah oh dude people love god on that fucking boom box but you're seeing that when people walk down the street and they're just like saying that god is your safe oh they're hooked up to the microphone you're talking about and it is loud because i've heard both i've

heard i've heard like a preacher on there i've also heard what roan's talking about which is like they've got a cd of like god's greatest hits and they're just playing that this dude on my street that does that actually like twice a week he'll walk by i don't know like do you who gets the streaming rights like when if somebody's just like blasting the bible on spotify yeah oh that's a good question we do obviously chaps i do barcelona confessions and there's this one dude who just dominates the charts like it's all his it's not kirk franklin is it i wouldn't know kirk franklin is a massive gospel guy he definitely i bought i bought his albums before so he maybe it's him but he he's not, Kirk Ring is a singer, right?

Yeah. Yeah. No, no, this guy's just a preacher. This is just like a, it's a podcast on the podcast charts. And,

and he like, I think he had something like 96 of the top hundred episodes of like Christian podcast. Jesus Christ. And Chaps was talking about how he can't make any money. Like he has to give all that money to the church. That's because he's like, he's an ordained man.

Like he's a practicing priest and stuff. No way. So he gets none of the money for it. Creflo dollar would take that money to the church. That's because he's like, he's an ordained man. He's a practicing priest and stuff. No way. So he gets none of the money for it. Creflo dollar would take that straight to the bank. You guys know Creflo? Oh, he had a private plane. Yeah.

He's one of the prosperity preachers who, who tells you that if a preacher is making money in this life, it means that they were great in like a past. And so you should celebrate that. Preachers should do everything that they can to fly in a private jet. His name was Creflo Dollar, right? Dude's a legend. Yeah, he is.

He really is. He was one of the biggest money. I mean, Joel Osteen is a fucking money-making preacher. Yeah, but Osteen's kind of a cuck because he doesn't even like, he doesn't try to advertise that he's about that life. You know, like Osteen, like occasionally he'll be like, yeah, I had to take a private plane back, but but he's wealthy but he's kind of like intimidated or like

embarrassed by his own wealth he well not even low-key it's just like he doesn't want people to know how much money he's taking from all of his followers creflo is like yeah honestly i'm gonna put that on a fucking billboard like my bank account will be refreshed on this billboard like the national debt clock in times square just because i want to flex on people poor people giving him money it's fucking insane yeah kenneth copeland's a big one too kenny copeland yeah he's a guy who's like laughing he's the one who just like straight looks like a demon right he's the the blow but like and blow he tried to blow coronavirus away that's i i think i think that's who it was come on it got made into like

a rap song and stuff like remember they used to remix uh videos like they actually they bothered to do that with this one i think it's kenneth copeland dude he looks like evil right i need to check him out i haven't yeah oh yeah and look at one of the first googlers that's him him blowing coronavirus here we might be able to get it up oh that's this fucking guy yeah yes oh my god he looks fucking terrifying yeah what actor does he look like he kind of he does look like actor but it looks like dexter's dad beautiful eyes though there was a follow-up interview with him right like he he had i think he was on the news like four times over the past year just like saying crazier shit each time like trying to dig his way out of his

previous statement by incriminating himself more it's actually kind of cool yeah it's inspiring it's definitely inspiring the uh so we'll let you guys uh we probably should just end the show soon but i just want to know how nice the house is though like are the tvs are they are they curved or are they flat so dude that's the big question that i have is i don't know what the tv is it furnished yeah it's for it's got couches as a matter of fact one of the rooms looks exactly like the room from that bill clinton painting that jeffrey epstein had where he's wearing the dress on the couch it's got that couch it's got the same back it might be you should try and get the painting it might be uh but i don't know what the TV situation is. So that's making me a little bit nervous going into it. Yeah, you should actually look into it because beach houses tend to not have the greatest TV situations.

I've gone to Airbnbs at beach houses and they'll have a straight up box. That's what I mean. That's like the only place you can find a curved screen TV anymore. They don't sell them anywhere else, but like beach houses just won't be renovated for like 30 years. I feel like most beach houses have just like a cupboard of like VHS tapes

and DVDs. And board games like Yahtzee or some shit like that. TVs are so cheap nowadays that they're basically free. If there's like no TV, it doesn't do anything. You need to go buy one. I will bring a TV down there. So they have cable.

I checked on that. They've got a good cable package. They said, don't know how big sports fans they are. So that's going to be, I don't know. Again, like I'm nervous about this because there's a decent chance that we get down there and they've got a TV that's got like the built-in digital antenna that gets six channels on it. There's definitely a legit chance of that. There's a very high chance.

I'm nervous. And we've all known those people who are like, it's such a beautiful house in a beautiful location. We don't need TV. Go outside and use your imagination. No, fuck that. I want other people to use their imagination and then put something in a box that I can stir.

Are you guys saltwater taffy guys? Isn't that indigenous to the Jersey Shore? I don't know if I'm an anti-saltwater taffy guy, but definitely I haven't had enough to have an opinion on. I'm okay. Saltwater taffy is isn't that i'm not i don't i don't know if i'm an anti-saltwater taffy guy but definitely i haven't had enough to have an opinion on i'm okay yeah i don't think saltwater taffy is good as fuck i love saltwater taffy really yeah is that a big jersey shore thing yeah i thought i always had it on the cape i spent like entire summers down there without like touching saltwater taffy i don't think it's like a fucking staple i don't think you're gonna be the food guy and you're gonna come with takes like that i just don't love it i think it's just uh it's fine but it doesn't have that much it's not like you haven't

had you haven't had the good stuff i've had the fucking primo shit dude i don't know what the fuck you're talking about have a box to yourself get just like the worst tummy giver head but it'll be worth it i'd rather have some some fucking fudge than some saltwater taffy i'd rather get a box well i mean we're comparing it to other well i am obviously better it's the same type of thing you get a box of some soft shit that, I mean, if we're comparing it to other things, there's obviously better alternatives. It's the same type of thing. You get a box of some soft shit that's like a fucking dessert, but there's no perfect time to have it. First of all,

saltwater taffy comes in a bag. Or a box. I've seen a box. I actually have seen a box, too. It's got the clear top. Yeah, yeah. It's got the top. Sometimes there are horses on the box.

I've seen it. Dude, but I'm excited for you guys. Enjoy your summer. Thank you for popping on. We'll let you get to that lunch. That was a fucking long time. That's good discipline by you to just have the lunch in front of you like a dog with a treat on his nose.

Refuse to eat. Fucking respect for the microphones. Appreciate you guys coming on. Thank you very much. Thank you. See you on the shore. Yes. We'll see you guys tomorrow.

All right, guys. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. Cheers. That's pretty good. How about like a fuck? They probably already subscribed. Yeah. Also throw a subscribe in.

A download. Watch us on YouTube. Watch us on YouTube too. Yeah, so now we're also available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. The YouTube is LilSasquatch. That is the YouTube. There's another YouTube. I don't know if that is ours. I don't think that belongs to us. I think that's just a

random person. Yeah, I can't tell. So don't watch it on that. Watch it on the Lil Sasquatch YouTube. We'll be doing weekly episodes. Also, speaking of getting us on Spotify, the dudes from that show Smartless just got $80 million.

Oh, yeah. I know. That was fucked. But that was from Amazon. From Amazon? Wait, wait. Are you talking about the who is it? Smartless? It's wait. Are you talking about the... Who was it? SmartList? It's like Will Arnett, the guys from... Is it the three dudes? Yes. Yeah, they got Amazon.

Was it Amazon that gave them the money? I think they might have gotten more than $80 million. I think it was like $90 million. Oh, really? I thought it was $80, but regardless, what the fuck? Yeah. First of all, I want that. Second of all, hey, brother, brother man we just got to keep on

going yeah you know what i mean just keep on going bro everyone's getting bad everyone's getting a bag right now seriously that's what i'm fucking pissed off about man jealousy but sometimes jealousy can be that motivation once we get our patreon up and running we'll be good yeah we'll be fucking fine i just hate to see other other people successful have you ever seen uh oh i was trying to quote a movie you're serious you're dead serious you've never seen uh there will be blood oh no i know what that movie is though you never saw it no that can be your homework even though you didn't read 48 laws of power which was your old homework and i would have known because i've been quoting it subtly throughout the entire episode.

If you had actually read it you would have been perking up. No yeah I did not read that. I've been lacking on my reading game. I know. I could tell. Your vocabulary is dwindling. That was off my word of day calendar. Watch There Will Be Blood.

I'll watch it tomorrow. Alright watch it tomorrow all right i will sign us off now sign us off all right thanks for watching guys we'll see you next week