Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 70 - Francis Ellis Returns to Barstool HQ

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 70 - Francis Ellis Returns to Barstool HQ -- Sas, Rone, & Francis discuss getting fired, coming back for the first time, the Daily Beast revenge plan, Sex in the City, Joe Rogan, becoming trans, musical/lyrical comedy, stand-up, taking mushrooms with Nate Diaz, citi-biking with J. Cole, asking for a raise, Brittny Griner being stuck in Russia, our relationships with Dave Portnoy, the state of the Yak, Francis' future RnR opponent (an ex-NHL player), & much, much more. Cheers! -- Full episodes also available on YouTube!! Please watch them there -- Thank you guys #BoyDadYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, should we get going? Yeah, let's get going. Let's get going. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast.

Today it is Monday. It is July 18th. We're joined by Francis Ellis. Our specialist guest that we've ever had on this program. And I'm honestly downright giddy that you're here. I'm like excited. I'm almost like I'm doing something wrong. I tell you what,

man, I'm feeling nervous. Yeah, are you? I'm like any minute they're going to walk in and just squirt me out of here when you came in here the security guard pulled his gun on you he sure did get the fuck out of here that's right he was he was that yeah erica and dave are gonna fucking kick down the door like the undertaker just like shadow in the doorway fucking ready to rip your ass out of here i mean i don't know what you two are thinking bringing me in we're really testing our our uh like

yeah good standing at this company it's gonna bounce back poorly on you guys i will we wanted to have you on for a while but rome was the one that made the final call i don't have the authority to be making moves like that yeah i wanted to have you all going on if you should go south for sure for sure i can i can uh bear that yoke but then where the people that are coming back in here, like Buddha Ben is back in here doing like five podcasts, having like merch meetings and shit like that. Like you should be able to fucking come back in and just like do a little

round of like saying hi to all your old friends and coworkers. It would be nice. It would have been nice. It's been three years, just over three years. I was fired right before the 4th of July of 2019. Damn. And so we're just past that now. and here i am that's enough healing that's enough time to fucking heal some wounds don't heal i think i don't know we're talking about a scar yeah they found the girl i

talked about like is that why we're i'm back is she okay she's actually alive she's actually fine yeah she was actually a bad person. So it's actually okay that you made fun of her. Every day I Google her name. No luck yet. But unfortunately, every day I Google her name and my name comes up too. And I'm like, God damn it. Dude, so what does it feel like walking back in here?

What's going through your head? It's very surreal. It's very spooky. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Yeah? Well, I went... going through your head like it's very surreal yeah it's very spooky i'm nervous i'm nervous yeah well i went i first of all you know i walked by in the ground floor and there's a guy there and it's like visitors must sign in and i was like just act like you work here still so i blew right by him and got away with it and i was like okay that's one layer of down yeah well defense and then i didn't know where the buttons for the elevators were because they're automated now i don't know why they did that yeah so i'm like oh fuck he's

gonna know realize that i don't know where the elevator buttons are and he's be like wait did you sign in so i've quickly found it and i was like should i just take the stairs and then i went in and then i couldn't remember what floor the office was and so i went to the wrong floor i went to the sales floor damn and i got out and a guy was like do you need to come in i was like yeah and i came in and i immediately started trying to go down the stairs but instantly i started hearing the murmurs of is that francis you get pulled into a meeting real quick there's probably someone who it's like the the people on the islands in vietnam who didn't know the war or like in japan who didn't know the war or like in Japan who didn't know the war was over.

That's right. People probably don't even know you got fired. They're like, Francis, get in here. We got you to move some balls beachwear. Yeah. You're going to fucking sell some merch up here. We were supposed to have that, you know, sponsored content meeting. Why are you keep doing this?

Barstool goals. Like, well, I'm not allowed to post sponsored content on my own Instagram. I paid for it. So why would i ever do something for the team oh my god so how long did you work in the this office well uh i was at the the old one for probably a year and a half and then this one for like a little over a year i think okay it might have been more at the old one, but then this one and then, yeah. The last time that I was here, I thought it was the day that I got fired, but actually I had to come back in to collect my affairs, my effects. And when you got fired in an ignominious stroke to an illustrious you uh weren't you like going on vacation like right

after that or something like that like weren't you about to hit like a fucking beautiful tropical vacation i was going to france you know france yes you were just there france france is kind of cool it's incredible it's pretty good i don't even think being fired from a dream job could sour france for me did it sour for you no no i mean it's like seven fifths of my name so five sevens i mean so i uh fuck fraction fucked it up that's fine you we know you know fractions yeah uh no i went we so yeah i was supposed to go on on monday it was the friday before the fourth of july and that was the first vacation that i had taken since i was working at barstool which i desperately needed because i was crumbling yeah when you uh are just cranking out content at all times,

vacations are actually really helpful, and they can act as a full reset. And if you had just gotten that vacation a week earlier, you would just be sitting alongside us. Would have missed the Duncan Awards, wouldn't have worn the wrong thing. You think you would have still gotten fired? No, you wouldn't have now.

I don't think so. And you know what? You know who else deserves some of the blame kb kb why because kb okayed that blog he did i had him wait kb was your boss kb was sitting right next to me hadn't kb been there for like a month i think a little longer a little longer but i trusted him because he's a good writer yeah and uh he's very smart he's very cerebral but that's him because he was a good writer. Yeah. And he's very smart. He's very cerebral. But that's probably why he was like, fuck this guy.

He's also a good writer. Like, let me sink his ship. I like to think we were tight. On slow days, we would do geography quizzes together, and he would always kill me. It was kind of his jam. He's more autistic than you. He would be like, let's do the whole world. I'd get like 30% of it.

He'd be like, I missed six islands in the South Pacific. And I'm like, God damn it, dude, we need to fucking work more. But, um,

get back to these dead girl blogs. Yeah. So I, I, you know, I remember, I remember it was, uh,

it was that Friday before the 4th of July. I had come in for Barstool breakfast. It was a gentleman's Friday. So you know the boys were getting tanked. So were you hammered when you got fired? I didn't. I was pretty good about, you know, not going too hard on those. Because I'm not a big 7 a.m. drinker.

No, most people aren't. On weekdays. But those dudes are, though. They sure are. It's like that and like a rope for it. Like just a bunch of cheese. Cheese. And he's always like, try this marbled Parmesan and i'm like dude i i need oatmeal yeah seven my digestive system

isn't working yet not ready for hard drink right now please and red wine yeah what what did they do the rest of the day i can't imagine doing anything but sleeping after that i think they just go home right after they would and and so then i would try to like fuzzily find stories to blog about and and that day you know friday before the fourth of july everyone's just trying to like make it make it to the end of the day and uh i remember seeing you know top of all those stupid sites we would look up new york post or whatever else this story about this girl and she was missing and her, her sorority sisters. And I was like,

okay, I remember we'd been taught words that would do well. Sorority was one of them. Sorority was right at the top of the list. Yeah. Yeah. You know, sorority.

And then it was like a sugar daddy was another one. And that, so it was all of a sudden they were like, there were like three words associated with the story that were just right down the line. It was like a slot machine. It was like ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. Of a blog that would probably be read by a lot of the audience. And I was like.

Little did you know. Yeah, I looked on the back end. The whole world. And the 17 bloggers that would feast on topics. No one had it queued up. And I'm like, damn. What? You know, that should have been the red flag. I'm like, wow.

It's so rare to arrive on the blogging block and not have anyone have beaten you to a story. And I was like, man, I just need to write one or two blogs today. To get back in the good graces. And then I can go on vacation.

And this one was all teed up and i i like checked it out and read the story she was a caller daddy fan and uh i was like okay great the audience will eat this up and then i did a quick little quick search like is she okay and then some older site had written a story about her a couple days earlier that said authorities do not suspect foul play. And I was like, okay. And then as a last check, I turned to our old friend KB No Swag. The last line of defense. The moral compass. Mr. Sons Swag.

And I said, hey, dude, what do you think of this? Is this a risky one and he like glanced it over you know looked through it and he was like seems like she's fine to me and i'm like all right damn and i wrote the blog you know and assuming she was fine fired it off went to meet you to do some recording uh punk yeah you're recording like like a piece for a pop punk song. And you were there being like, I don't know, is this bad?

Like, I think this might be bad. And I was like, you're fine, dude. Do not even worry about it. I think even PFT was like, yeah,

I wouldn't worry about it. We were like, this is hilarious. Yeah. It was the same shot in Freud type of thing though. Like, Oh, people are all being mean to him.

This is funny. And I'm so wait, wait. So I'm getting all caps texts from Dave, all caps. Yeah. Like he would double tap getting all caps texts from Dave. All caps. Like he would double tap the caps lock thing. Yeah. And be like, what the fuck?

Why did you do this? And I'm like, oh, I do think this is bad. And then I was going to meet my girlfriend at the time, now fiance. I was going to meet her family for the first time. Jesus Christ. In rural Pennsylvania. This is a train wreck. So I went straight from that punk

thing to penn station and got on the train and as i was on the train down i got a call from dave and i was like oh he doesn't wait wait so call me ever did you had it been deleted by this point oh yeah we deleted it instantly so we were so it was up for like an hour and a half and we're all the comments came out that she was no then as soon as she was alive when it was like schrodinger's blog presumably she was alive we didn't know any to the worst and then uh as soon as she was then then that moment an hour and a half after i wrote it she was found dead murdered yeah and brutally brutally murdered and uh and then instantly i started getting emails from like the daily beast dead spin uh even even the washington post and i was like you guys must have better things to

write about but they were like we're writing a story on the fact that you wrote this story we have three questions one what the fuck's wrong with you you know like two did you know did you have anyone check this like three and i was like yeah kb yeah i was like yeah please consult mr no swag yeah you're gonna want to get in touch with kb no swag yeah he had a run dude i think the two bigs title was his idea as well oh yeah he was titling everything dude yeah by the way not for nothing like as ridiculous as that was the problem i had with it most was like man they worked so hard to make this acronym fit so many of those words are just such a silly way to make an acronym work come on i was the week i got hired and i remember i screenshot and i sent it to kb i was like this is old right and he's like no that was today that was literally i got i was

like i've been hired for like 10 hours and i was like fuck dude dude the the word that bothered me the most in that was extremely i was like even if you could just do now it's gonna get real maybe throw an apostrophe in there and and but extremely you're just you're just trying to make it fit yeah you are you could have because it would have been like an app name just like taking out the vow like you would have got the point across it was just yeah so yeah so dave called me i'm on the train i'm 15 minutes from meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time and uh so what do you do yeah he's like he's like we gotta let you go uh i'm sorry you know it just is the way it is and i was like yeah i i get it i mean i just i just you felt like

everything was no i felt like everything was leading towards that i at that point had such a pit in my stomach uh over over the whole thing and and i just as soon as i saw him his name on my phone i was like i'm toast damn that sounds like a nightmare well i will say this to dave's credit uh like we you know he let me go he was in in nice terms uh and i was pretty shaken obviously because now now i had all these news outlets that were putting out stories and yeah that's the worst the whole thing was just so beyond any i had no idea you were more culpable than the guy that killed that woman oh yeah yeah right you nobody knows his name at all i mean he's probably mad at me he probably killed another girl to like wake up for it i'm gonna get my credit well i know i just had to write about her uh yeah so so so you went and met up with uh

i walked in and i walked into the i had to get on the phone with you know my my like manager who helped me craft i crafted an apology statement which to this day i'm actually quite proud of uh the apology i don't know if you've read the apology it's a good one oh it's well written yeah i'm sure it's well written was it uh was it like funny or no no no it's totally self-effacing and and and also absolve well like justly so absolved the company of any oversight over that blog which was the entire purpose i wanted I wanted everyone to know that nobody besides KB had looked at it so that the company would- You fell on the sword.

Yeah, well, I didn't want Barstool to get in trouble for my fuck up, you know? And so I wrote that statement and then that got included in all the articles. Oh, that's good. And all these articles, most of them were pretty fair. You know, they was like, ah, this dumb guy wrote this thing. But

the Daily Beast, to this day, the Daily Beast guy was so beyond belief ridiculous in what he wrote. He wrote that I had slut shamed a murdered girl. That was the headline. Jesus Christ. I mean,

how absurd is that? First all like i i'd never slut shamed anyone in my life i love sluts yes i know everyone knows that about you i've been a slut for years i was exactly and you're proud of it yeah you know let your freak flag fly go for it yeah um never would you ever that was what you're really torn about he dug up all these old blogs i'd written and picked out jokes especially like i used to write these blogs about frankie and how much of a crush i had on him and wanted to fuck his beautiful mouth yeah and one of those blogs i wrote like uh he wrote like something like i'd probably fuck him if he wanted to but i i won't because i'm not an f and then i did a post asterisks to like blur the slur for gay people.

Yes. Which I thought like someone who admits to wanting to bang a dude and then censors their homophobia was kind of funny. And the guy wrote like included that like joke, which I'd written a year before. As if he had starred out the letters and you had used it flat out. No, but he,

he, he was like, he was like the, the blurring is his own work. Oh really he he was like he was like the the blurring is his own work oh really he put like the sick next to it and i'm like dude you can't you cannot read that joke and and accuse me of homophobia it's such a mired nonsensical joke yeah um and and and and he like he was like he's he's exhibited homophobic humor before he's done this and like slut shaming pattern and all these dude i'm telling you

i have this dream i have this dream i remember i'm not gonna i'm not gonna honor him by saying that the writer's name but i have this dream that one day i'll find a hacker from like anonymous one of those really undercover yeah yeah dark web people yeah really good yeah who can just plant who's really good who can just plant troves of child pornography on his hard drive and then all call it in you know

and like and then tweet the fuck out of it and like be like this guy slut shamed 13 year old or something

I don't know I just think about it all the time troves I want it to be troves yes tons like you want to be part of the SWAT team

that has to like guide him out with his fucking underwear around his wrist or whatever. And prison is so mean to people that get found for that. They can turn inside out. His last name should be a synonym for child's porn in history textbooks.

Yes! That's the dream. That's what we're working on now. I know we've got some coders here. We could probably get Greer on it. That would be good. There has to be. We could get Quiggs on it or something. What about that guy that gave the code to McAfee?

I feel like he might be up for hire. Oh, yeah. Bob Legang? Hunter. No, yeah. John Hunter or whatever his name is? Jeff Hunter, yeah. He knew what he was doing.

Jeff Hunter could definitely plant some CP on someone. Yeah, he's the guy. Dude, so did you call your girlfriend at the time or did you wait until you arrived at her parents house and like pull her aside be like i just i think i i think i called her to let her know because i didn't want to walk in you know i i wanted there to be some kind of buffer yeah i just i just wanted them to know how totally dazed I would be. Cause I walked in and I mean, I didn't eat for like,

I'm not, I'm not lying. I didn't eat for three days. Damn. Cause yeah, it feels terrible. I'm sure it felt terrible. You just,

you just think your life is over because the whole internet is on fire. Wait. So about you were like, I know obviously like people who are not like barstool fans were probably going crazy online, but we were like, I know, obviously, like people who are not like barstool fans were probably going crazy online. But we're like, were the stoolies like pissed to like, oh, like, fuck you. Or were they like, this is a little much. I think most people at the time, the first, the most, the reaction was mostly like, oh,

it's too bad. Yeah. You know what? We agree that that. Yeah. He probably had to go for this that was really stupid you gotta know better but like you know i wasn't being malicious if you read the blog i'm not like i hope she's dead or something yeah i hadn't you know clearly i didn't know and i was

just being careless yeah um and so most people were just like, ah, it sucks. Shitty thing. And then I think as time wore on, I think people were like, you know, maybe maybe we could have suspended him or something like that. I don't know. Listen, I'm not disagreeing with the way it went down. I totally I totally get it. And I would say that I'm on good terms with Dave and Erica at this point and still hold the company in extremely high regard. I've become friends with so many of you guys. And I miss it here. I really do. I miss the people and I really miss the work. I loved the work here. Yeah.

Just like writing and podcasting and doing like stupid goofy fun stuff you don't realize how uninterested the internet is in you until you lose a waiting audience of hundreds of thousands of people that you have here yeah yeah yeah so what was it like the first like a couple months year of being like all right i'm to, it's not like I'm going to switch to a fucking law degree or like a fucking accounting job. You're like, I'm still fucking going to grind and make it happen. You started oops. You know what I mean? You started doing shit from home.

You know, it was a difficult balancing act of like, okay, am I supposed to like go into hiding and, and, and show that I'm contrite and, you know, sort of censor myself or muzzle myself for a while. I feel like if I do that, I'll lose any kind of momentum I might have had before this happened. So I need to, in a way, harness the people that are still interested in seeing what I have to offer without coming across as like totally trying to capitalize on on this controversy i've created um so that was a difficult balancing act um instantly weirdly i got like three or four emails and phone calls from people that were like i want to hire you today um all kinds of weird places and and that a lot of which just didn't, you know, materialize and

were like people, I think, talking out of their asses. And then you go and you do some podcasts because people obviously... You did some big shows though, right? Yeah. In the comedy world, you know, being canceled is like a badge of honor a lot of the time. It's like your boy scout badge like i got my canceled badge and people i think want to want to show their support and their dislike of that whole thing by by having and in the grand scheme of ways that people have gotten canceled kind of mild i was a pretty safe very mild penis inside pits yeah you know what i mean like you didn't racism no touching yeah exactly so it actually made like i'm

trying to think of more mild ones than that yeah i don't know i don't know i mean you know there's like there's a lot of the do you know do you know um megan amram do you know her uh yeah she's big on twitter yeah yeah she's a brilliant funny writer screenwriter wrote for silicon valley for many years like just has been and then the good place or yeah it just is like infinitely hireable person brilliant writer and then you know out of nowhere she's having this great career and then like someone went way deep in her twitter and found some like anti-asian tweets that were like just jokes you know but it but it was like, it wasn't that, um, people only went looking for that because the anti-Asian hatred thing popped up, uh, as a by-product of COVID.

So it was like the moment arrived to cancel her instead of like what she did meriting yeah nobody nobody nobody cared until that became the cause du jour yeah does that make sense yeah nobody was mad at fucking washington for being a slave owner at the time right but now suddenly slavery's wrong now we want to rip down the statues dude it's fucking's fucking bullshit. Right. Dude, go watch Sex and the City. Go watch Sex and the City. We're watching Sex and the City right now. This show, first of all, it's amazing. The writing is really tight, right?

Holds up. Very funny. They say the word retarded constantly. Yeah. And they make fun of people with mental illnesses. The amount of stuff from that show that would not fly and that was late 90s early 2000s and it's like

why doesn't anyone come after them you know is it because people with developmental disorders haven't had their turn yet like is that not the time has it not come up yet? Are they not equipped to defend themselves or what? Your words not mine bro. I'm asking questions. Your mine, bro. I'm asking questions.

Your words, not mine. I'm asking questions. I'm asking you. What do I know? I don't speak their language. No, but it is, I mean, well, it's just inconsistent. And in some circles, it weighs more than in other circles. It's like if you're trying to have this corporate TV job, there's way more of a pressure for fucking people to get canceled in a whole different way.

Right. And again, I'm not railing against cancel culture. I find that very tired. It's a little grating. It's just we've beaten that to death. I think it's more like people getting – I think most people are in agreement for things that people should get canceled on. Yeah. How much of a loser do you have to be to be pulling up tweets from fucking 2013

right like get a life i mean and and and the lack of awareness of like okay yeah that's what i used to think or maybe i used to think was funny like people evolve yeah you know yeah try me now um what was what was encouraging about my thing was that there were a lot of people who were able to sort of differentiate between what had happened with me and some of the more, you know, fucked up. I think anybody with a brain. Yeah. Yeah. And I had some big people come come to my defense that I wouldn't have thought. Name names.

Ellen DeGeneres is executive producer. Andy. Oh, you're going to drop Ellen DeGeneres? A little bit of a tease there. Well, have I told you that story? No. Can you look up Andy DeGeneres? Andy Lassner.

His name's Andy Lassner. He's big Twitter, 500,000 plus, blue check mark. And he quote tweeted my apology thing on Twitter and then said like i'd never heard of you until today the story's sad you know the mob's gonna come after you it will pass you seem like a good person like don't sweat it and this is before she got shit on too yeah long before yeah and this is the own degenerates camp you know and she was still in like she was at that time like the most popular american most universally liked person yeah and so that was really uh bolstering for me tim dylan called me um and and andrew schultz had me on his podcast immediately uh fiavon i mean there were uh there were a lot of people that

like just really made me feel hannah burner like a lot like i'm like my life wasn't over you know um and then so back back to Ellen really quick. And by the way, if I'm dominating this podcast. No, no. This is what the people want to hear. People, I mean, this is kind of your first. People haven't really heard this side of things. And they haven't heard from you on like a platform in here for

quite some time, obviously. Yeah. But I do want a son of a boy dadded up. We will. We'll get it all off your chest. This is like Rogan. Okay. Cool. We're going for a while.

I like it. I like it. Let's get uncomfortably high off cigar smoke. Let's all throw up off cigars. Let's inhale fucking thick Cubanos till we vomit. I always think about what would I have if one day he ever had me on that podcast? What would be your intoxicant of choice? Yeah, what's my witch's brew of making him think I'm cool,

but not losing myself to the degree that I make a fool of myself? And what have you come up with? I mean, I think it's probably maybe one glass of whiskey on the rocks. Over four hours? I would get hammered. One or two. I don't know dude i can't i'm not gonna go full like multiple beers maybe i don't even drink at all stay sharp i think

you have to and then towards the end maybe i would smoke all right give me that give me that give me that fucking joint i've been i've been smoking weed to develop a tolerance in case i ever get last thing you want to do is be like fucking gripping the table in there while you get that's ever happened. I don't know. I tell my fiance gets bad. She's like you're smoking weed again tonight and I'm like, I don't know when

I'm doing this for us alternate side parking Thursday and like call me in, you know, I don't know things are out there dude,, one of the, uh, best things about, uh, your, the whole situation is I think that you've gotten like so much sharper as a standup that like, uh, seeing you like, uh, maybe when I see you a couple of months ago, probably three months ago at Gotham. And then that compared to how your standup was,

is like, you're like a whole new evolved beast at stand-up. That's so nice. I really appreciate it. Don't you feel that way though? Don't you kind of feel like you've leveled up? I do. Well, almost for lack of choice. You know, it's like... And also you experience trauma, which will make you funnier. It's like

your shit was fucked for a while. I finally had something that people felt bad for me about, you know. Sourcing empathy has been a challenge. There was nothing. You needed it. It was all intentional. I've never, yeah.

How can I be a victim? I've never walked on stage and had people be like, oh, this poor guy. Until then. Yeah, yeah. So I leaned into that for sure. But yeah. You would have jerked off in front of someone at 20 if you had known that that could get you just a good will i'm at the point where like i legitimately have

considered like what what what is the route for me to declare myself trans yeah we've talked about this before i mean i'm not i'm not even trying to do a bit like i we wanted to do a we wanted to do a video where where like where you audition for snl and you like cut your dick off like yeah in the audition i think they just instantly hire you they just like stand up applauding or like you cut your dick off in the bathroom and you just instantly get a call from lauren michaels it's like you're hired you just like pick it up in a ziploc bag wear it around your neck like in a patch yeah they're not enjoying it until they see your fucking dick necklace damn yeah that is i mean it would open doors but i feel like you're just your your stand-up

off the strength i feel like has uh has opened doors and uh the the shit was hilarious even the clips that you've been kind of putting out from that show. It seems like you've also you did a song at the start of that show. But like how has I feel like you're you're less leaning on songs, but it's still part of like who you are. Yeah, I I'm always told that's my differentiator. And yet I maintain this kind of, you know, I guess puritanical view of what stand-up is, which is total bullshit. And, you know, I think like, well, I've got to master just the classic standing with a microphone trying to entertain people that way before I add bells and whistles. But the truth is, you know, there are so many brilliant musical comedians like Bo Burnham, obviously,

Truth is, you know, there are so many brilliant musical comedians like Bo Burnham, obviously, is as good, if not better than than anybody doing it anyway. Yeah. So I don't really know where that kind of silly view comes from. But bottom line, I'm at a point where I need something to set me apart. And I don't know that I'll ever be good enough at just telling jokes and and build in writing jokes so but it is such a long game anyway it's still like you're like a young like a super young comedian as far as the dudes then i see this guy yeah he's not what are you a year in one year yeah and he's he's so much farther along now than I was after a year. And he's moving at like warp speed. It's like he's got, you know, someone in in the matrix or outside the matrix, just like downloading how to do it into your brain.

And I you know, you feel it. You feel these young guys coming. And I'm personally I'm I'm thrilled. Like I. Yeah, but I still feel like all the young people are not even nearly like... I mean, you do way better than me on stage by a lot. But you're going to learn it. You're going to catch me in so little time.

No, I don't think so. Because you are being forced to learn how to do it by headlining. Yeah, it's true. And there's nowhere to hide. And you're being given these 45 minute to 50 minute reps yeah yeah that no one else who's 21 has and you've earned that through the strength of your incredible online work so your fans are absolutely deserved and you're just gonna you're just gonna pick it up way way faster yeah i guess it's probably true i mean i yeah

and then you'll and then you'll have it and then all of a sudden then i'll kill someone you know you'll be selling out every well you already are i just you know and and i there's i'm not like in jealous or uh nerve that doesn't make me nervous like that's how it would make me real jealous i'd be i'd be pissed i'll be furious if someone's coming in like fucking at a different pace than me anybody that's more successful and that's just shows how much you've grown as a person i would be fucking pissed the fuck off dude you're just more secure oh i still wait for like someone here to get hired that's younger than me and that's gonna be the day where i really have to turn the turn the jets on yeah now you're coasted being a prodigy yeah i see him having a beer at a show and I'm like, dude, you're barely allowed to have that. That's the part that bothers me.

He's like, yeah, I'd love to have a few drinks before I go on stage. And I'm like, you don't know. You don't even know what you like, bro. Since when? Your birthday was like two weeks ago. I had it in a sippy cup, dude. He knocked his beer over and it didn't spill. It was some bullshit. Dude, another thing before we just start yucking

and boy dadding it up, the last thing I want to know about is if you saw any of the Barstool Idol situation that was going on in here. You know, I only ever catch I see the things end up on my I follow all of you guys. These things end up on my timeline

and stuff and I like to watch clips and keep all of you guys so uh these things end up on my timeline and stuff and i and i like to watch clips and keep up with you guys um i don't want to say this like i wasn't that interested in that tournament um i don't know why it's understandable it just didn't like grab me nor did it really grab me i don't think if as a fan if i hadn't been in season one i would have necessarily watched me you know what i mean um i i don't know so uh so you don't give a fuck well i'm aware of like what happened right didn't the um didn't that kid the guy win a girl so so this guy john rich john rich he wrote about raisins i read that raisins thing that was pretty funny i like that yeah that was funny and then or actually they were kind of a combination of you because he Yeah, John Rich. He wrote about raisins. I read that raisins thing. That was pretty funny. I liked that.

Yeah, that was funny. And then, or actually, they were kind of a combination of you because he writes well in a similar way to you. But so she was, this was a woman, Caroline won. Oh. And, but she sung a lot of songs. Oh, really? And then early on, I was like, okay, the songs are good, but you got to have something else.

And I think that she kind of took that as a little bit of an insult, but I don't, I wasn't trying to be insulting. I was more trying to be like, you just have to have kind of a wide breadth of, of things that you do. And I think no one will be able to speak to that better, better than you. It's like, I do songs,

but you need other shit. Did you enjoy hosting it? Cause you judged the second season, right? I did. Did you enjoy that? Well, I didn't,

I didn't love it. Um, judging people. Yeah. I i didn't love it um judging people yeah i just don't it's it's tough because you know i remembered very acutely how nervous i was doing it yeah and then also just how um how like crushing it would have been to be either disgraced or humiliated for either losing or just like doing something wrong. Cause you're, you're, you're someone made, these people were different. Some of these people had had pretty big followings already. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas like we were all kind of nobodies, I guess with,

with the exception of Donnie who didn't even really compete, but like to go from, from being someone who nobody gives a shit about too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All of a sudden you're like front and center on the barstool stage and these are people you've known for years or followed for years and they're telling you about yourself um it's terrifying it was just absolutely terrifying uh it's scary to get told about yourself period yeah because there's all you're always just like fuck you dude like what what do you do right like what what is your expertise doing that i can't imagine doing that like john rich had like what like 300 followers

before he started like i can't imagine doing that to then being in one like i mean then this past weekend he was like he was getting deep throated by snooki at the jersey shore dude now his life has changed completely dude he was face fucking snooki off the top bunk. Is that right? Yes, dude. The whole cast of Jersey Shore was fucking lipping off John Rich at Jeff D. Lowe's Shore. That's so fun. That's just what happens down on the shore. That's fun. When you hang out with Jeff D. Lowe now,

he fucks like no other. Well, I kind of get that sense. I mean, I saw him just now, and he's tan. New aura. He's lost weight. Yeah. His hair is the same have you noticed that new aura is about anybody it's because it's funny because you have a whole different uh like perspective like it's like going into space and like seeing your twin it's like we aged at different fucking rates or whatever you know look uh here's what happened to me if i'm

honest um i kind of just learned or i started to just i got to a point where the only thing i really cared about was was making money that's kind of where i'm at right now fuck yeah which is a little a little jaded i i it's it's a little cynical i but like fundamentally all of this to me is a job i don't really care about it It's a good job. You know. But yeah. The respect of my peers. You know, I don't really care about like a lot of the things I used to care about, like getting into the comics table at a certain comedy club or, you know, getting passed at this place. A lot of these rites of passage, these hallowed grounds don't hold the same shine for me anymore. Fundamentally, I'll do any gig for the right price. I just, I took a, I took a gig hosting a crypto conference a couple of weeks

ago. Oh, you'll do anything, anything. It was, it was so bad. And, and, and my manager called me and was like, uh, he was like, listen, we got this offer. You're not going to want to do it. I'm like, well, tell me about it. And he's like, yeah, it's this crypto thing. Like, you know, they just want you to come in, do like 20 minutes of stand up and blah, blah, blah. It's going to be a hell gig. No one's going to be listening. I'm like, all right, what are they paying?

He's like $7,000. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? What is wrong with you that you would think I wouldn't do anything nearby for $7,000? He thinks you're like this artist who has this standard of quality. You're trying to make a buck. You've got a wedding to plan for. I don't have pride.

I don't have dignity. None of this. This isn't art. This is all transactional. Let's make it happen. How was it? Did you do it? Yeah, I did it. And it yeah i did it and it was exactly what we thought it was gonna be it was bad they they you know there were there were like 200 people and i took the microphone someone introduced me like very uh quietly yeah yeah they're like okay we've got an entertainer for the evening please welcome comedian francis us

and then everyone's like what the fuck and they all just went back to talking about their business, their work. And the only the two tables in the front could even hear a word I was saying. And they were politely listening. And then the 90% of the rest of people there were just having loud, robust conversations as I yelled white noise at them. And can you just turn your brain off and you're just like coast to the set and just like walk off the stage or are you like internalizing being like these motherfuckers? No, I have no judgment.

I would have done the same thing if I were them. Who the fuck am I? You know, they don't know who I am. If Jim Gaffigan comes up there, they're probably gonna be like, oh shit, we've got somebody. This matters.

You know, but like, fuck. I'm just looking at my watch every couple minutes and being like. Very nice watch, by the way. You know what I mean? You just walking looking at my watch every you know a couple minutes being like very nice watch by the way you know what i mean you just remember how nice a lot of seven thousand dollar gigs put together i don't know my dad has continued to do well he's very smart armoring his uh his wealth uh damn that's crazy but but that's still fucking awesome that that uh you're making money because i feel like a lot of stand-ups don't and i know how much money you're making because sass will come

back and he'll be like dude you know how much fucking francis is making and he'll fucking pound the table fucking but you are too no i was just like i was like damn dude francis is doing well i was in no way was i like bro bro, fucking Francis. This is fucking bullshit. Listen, after I got fired from here, I kept waiting to find out if it was over, if I had to figure something else out. And you keep sort of just gently trying to test the waters, step forward forward try new things podcast weird video series about parking you know all these all these those are hilarious thank you i mean but like you never know and this this you just sort of weave together a tapestry that keeps you afloat until all of a sudden you're like oh nobody cares anymore about what happened to me. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody's

holding that against me. And two people, enough people still care about what I have and what I make that I can still make a living. And then you get to a point where you're like, oh, I can, I can grow. I can grow again. Um, and now I'm at that point where I'm like, I'm getting kind of greedy again. Which is exciting. The demons awake inside of you. I had this thing where I think you guys saw it.

I went out into the breakdown lane. Dude, I've been telling everybody about that. That video exploded. Oh my god. It's crazy. Wait, what was it on? Reels, right? Or you post it on TikTok? A bunch of hip hop accounts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And by the way, someone else checked me and they were like, what the fuck do you mean by that? And I'm like, it was literally called mixtapes with Z. How else do you want me to say it?

I'm not saying a black account. But also like, yeah, black people saw the video and liked the video. No, they did not like the video. Oh, they didn't like it? This was a deeply polarizing video on racial lines which i'm not happy about and i had no idea that's how it was better to be known

and disliked and not known you know what i mean the amount of people who were like come to detroit and try this shit guys listen this right over the head with a bag of pennies and i'm like fuck first of all i would never go to detroit, is this why there's a coin shortage? Like, why do you have pennies in your car? And they're like, to throw them at people like you, Karen. And I'm like, I'm not a Karen. Karen move would have been to call the police to deal with this. I'm putting out all my phone fires.

I want all the smoke. Come and fucking deal with it. You're on the line. I saw the one you had to hop out of the lane because the guy was reaching for something. Yeah, I do know my place. And, you know, I'm not going to test the waters too much. Yeah, but you couldn't have been more in the line. I saw the one you had to hop out of the lane because the guy was reaching for something. Yeah, I do know my place. And, you know, I'm not going to test the waters too much. Yeah, but you couldn't have been more in the line of fire. It's not like you're pawning off your problem to someone else.

No. You're being a fucking, to some, a hero and to some people, the villain. And again, it is really polarizing. I mean, it was white people being like... Wait, tell the people what you do just in case you don't know. So I, one day, you know, I was driving home on the highway and there was deep traffic heading into the Holland Tunnel. And, you know, there's like two or three lanes. And then there's a shoulder, a break.

I used to call it a breakdown lane, but everyone knows it as a shoulder. And that ends, that shoulder ends. So it doesn't run all the way through to the tunnel. So a lot of people were like, well, that's for emergency vehicles. Or if a husband is driving his screaming pregnant wife to the hospital, they need to use that. And it's like, well, even if that were the case, they would have only been able to gain another 200 yards before they were completely congested in the same traffic. Right. So, and lastly, if I'd seen someone behind me being like, ah, emergency, I would have pulled back in. Right. I would have gotten out of their way. But I was sitting in traffic like a good citizen and watching car after car after car just rip by and then merge in and cut us all. cut us all. And I've just said, okay, I've had enough. I've had enough. Because people are like, ah, it's not your problem. Why does it matter? Every single car that goes by me adds, let's call it 14 seconds to my commute home. Of course. Because they're cutting me. At least 14 seconds.

At least. I would say more. Probably more. It's like 30 seconds per car. And I want to get home to my wife. She might be pregnant. I don't know.'t know she could be we're not trying but we're not not trying that's how you find out yeah what if she decides in that time to not be pregnant anymore and you couldn't have had any fucking say in the matter exactly and if she did go into labor it would be super early but we would need to deal with it you would yeah at just as much as anyone else that's right and all the people who are like abolish the police like fucking uh we don't need police officers to like deal with these like you should be their poster child that's right you should be the one who's like oh i'm a fucking citizen taking the law into my own hands we can self-govern as a society and not let fucking lawlessness ensue exactly we'll just look after

each state of nature right uh completely great what was was it? Scott? Yeah. Who was the- Dred Scott. Oh, who wrote State of Nature? I don't fucking know. Come on, we learned this. F. Scott Fitzgerald? I don't fucking know, dude. Who's Scott? Michael Scott?

Fucking Dennis Scott? Who was Scott? It definitely wasn't Scott. I don't know why I said Scott. Somebody wrote State of Nature, and I'm embarrassed not to have that. That's all right. We're not- You should know.

We're lowbrow. You should be embarrassed so finally i i just gently pulled out into the shoulder and then drove at the regular pace of traffic as a as a roadblock and the woman the women that were behind me pulled up into the where the space i'd been in and they looked over and saw what I was doing and they gave me the thumbs up. Uh, and then I knew we had, we had created a force. A little red Rover type situation. And they would let me back in once it was time.

Uh, and there was a car behind me and they, he was flashing his lights and honking, you know, all the kinds of moves you would use if you were having an emergency, but you knew he was, he was alone and he was driving a super nice car. And I was like, this guy, this guy doesn't have shit.

He thinks he's above the law. He thinks he's better than me. Fuck that noise. And eventually I got all the way to the end. I merged back in. He came in behind me. He pulled up alongside. Right.

I rolled my window down just to see what was what. And he goes, yeah, sorry. You probably can't blame me, right? Yeah. Can't blame me for trying. And I'm like, ah,

I appreciate your good humor about it. And we both laughed. True story. That's incredible. Have you done it again since? I have. I've done it once. And then the guy behind me was like flashing his lights.

And then he started going like, like rummaging around. Jesus Christ. And he's like, and I'm like. And I pulled back in and just let him go. Oh, my God. But dude, the best part of all of this is I then tweeted like, does anyone after I got

all these death threats and stuff, I tweeted, does anyone know of someone who could bulletproof a car like the wheels? Because apparently you need to bulletproof the wheels too oh that's what I think that's what cops are supposed to do shoot out the wheels so then they can arrest the person yeah you need to drive around in the beast or whatever they call the secret service thing there

you need to get that Tesla truck yeah the cyber truck I tweeted this out and I got you know a bunch of people being like good luck. But then one guy DM me and he was like, listen, I work at a body shop in Dubai. We we create armored vehicles for like visiting heads of state. And let's talk.

And I was like, oh, man, how far am I going to go with this? You know, like, is this my next thing? Am I going to take my ridiculously decked out bulletproof car to Chicago and fucking Detroit and then just like pull out, block the shoulder, have some people get out, start shooting at me? That would be unreal. It doesn't pop till you get shot, too. You know what I really wanted to do was like do that and then like outfit the car with like almost like in a James Bond way with like hoses. So they just shoot back. And just like blast them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just laugh at their stupid, you know, nonsense. That would be fucking incredible. That would be insanely funny. That would go viral. Oh, big time. That would go viral. Yeah, so this is the most watched thing I've ever made by far.

And it's crazy just by you driving around. You make good car content. I don't, yeah. You're a good car guy. It just comes to you. You just find the content. I made this thing. I almost didn't even post it. I thought maybe I'd post it as a story and I was like, ah, you know what?

I'll try this as a reel. And I threw it up as a reel and it just blew, I mean, it got all these big accounts asked me if they could post it and then it just blew up. It just blew up. It just blew up. It's incredible. You tell them yes or no?

Yeah, because they said they would credit me. Oh, okay. People are doing that now. It's probably the Daily Beast trying to throw it up there. I bet they did. It wouldn't surprise me if those hypocrites threw it up there. Yeah, well, not that guy who wrote about me. I didn't have any kids in the car.

He would have gone crazy. Fuck that guy. He would have absolutely loved it. Probably would have gotten right in the backseat. One of the things, dude, I love about you is I think that you're a great adult friend maker. And I think that so anytime. That's a lovely thing to say. I've been over your house a couple of times.

And like anytime it would be like, hey, I'm about to have like a poker game of like all my buddies are going to come over and play poker. Or I'll be like have like a party and like be playing a game. And it's all these like friends from different like walks of life just like different new york people and you'll just be like making adult friends and having a good ass time well listen i appreciate that but you to credit me is to sell yourself short because you are a very desired guest i don't know about that very desirable guest well i mean we it was just random when i was coming over and you were just like having your poker games or we were playing that game Secret Hitler. Yeah, but I've invited you a bunch of times and you've come a couple of times.

And so when you do come, it's a treat. It was a blast, except for when we played that Secret Hitler game, you stuffed a bunch of mushroom chocolates in my mouth and I fucking stopped realizing what was what. By the next day, I didn't know if I was actually Hitler or not. to by the next day i i didn't know if i was actually hitler or not because it's a full game about lying and i really had to go home because i was so toasted off the mushroom chocolates and i just didn't know what was a lie or what was the truth for a while i gave you those because you had arrived somewhat late on the later end and everybody else that was still at the party was just you know over a barrel um you came to the dregs. Yeah. You encountered the dregs and I was like,

how can we get Roan on our level as fast as possible? But it made me gun shy about mushroom chocolates. Really? Yeah, dude, I haven't. The last couple of times I've been offered drugs,

I've been like, dude, I don't know. I kind of got thrown into a blender last time. You'll be all right. Do people do normal mushrooms anymore or is it just the chocolates? I did them with Nate Diaz recently. Oh yeah.

You told me that. That was fun. Yeah, man. Where at? Out in LA. No way. Our pal Shane Gillis was, we were just like, we ran into Nate Diaz. They're just buddies now, right?

Yeah. He's hung out with him a few times and we were shooting sketches for his thing, Gillian Keys, which is coming out soon. It's awesome and um you're in this season too you were last season i'm in a couple of this one yeah um and they're they should be really funny i mean they're just he and mckeeve are unbelievable and we uh we were at their hotel having a drink after after the last day of shooting and we were in the sort of bar area down by the pool and nate diaz and his whole like team just randomly came in.

His rowdy boys. And then Shane said hi to him. And he was like, you should come have dinner with us. We're going to this really cool vegan restaurant. We've got a private room. And we, so we just like went with them and had this insane dinner. That was like vegan. Damn.

But like wine and drinks. Is Diaz picking up the tab for that kind of thing i think so yeah i think he did he also had a couple of guys with him who looked like they were doing pretty well and and they also we certainly didn't pay a dollar amazing um and then we um nate was like nate was like passing around a Ziploc bag of mushrooms, which, you know, huge bag like a freezer bag. People are just eating it like Skittles. I was and I was like I was like, you know, our crew was a little cautious, like Shane had to go to a set later. So he was drinking, but like not.

And I just had this thought of like, all right right a night like this is never gonna happen to me again yeah it's true how i want to see how far the rabbit hole goes so i'm gonna say yes to whatever nate diaz puts in front of me yeah that was my mentality the whole way and as a result you know we're ripping shots at dinner mushrooms he like hands like hands me a joint. I'm smoking weed. We go watch Shane set. He kills. Then we like went to a liquor store and bought a bunch of cases of White Claws and then went to an abandoned parking lot and just shotgun White Claws until three in the morning in L.A. And dude, it's like one of the best nights of my whole life.

One of the best nights of my whole life. One of the best nights of my whole life. And then the next morning, I woke up. I'd left my car there. I was staying all the way in Venice with my buddies, the Friday Beers guys. Do you know that? Those guys are great. Of course. Dana copied their whole...

Yeah. And they're aware. No, no. They haven't been for a while. I don't know the... Wait, which guys? The brothers, Max and Jack. The guys that started it jack

yeah have you seen those guys the sketch they actually do the sketches yeah those guys are fucking yeah that kid austin's really funny billy and chet they're great they're all doing yeah they're hilarious um and so i had to drive back to west hollywood from venice which is like an hour and i mean every 20 minutes i was like i'm'm about to ask the Uber driver to pull over. It was that bad? Because I'm going to throw up. Oh, you were in the back seat of a car and you were getting sick? And I finally got, I held on, I got to the hotel, got out, walked straight in and just puked in the bathroom.

No way. And then I went and did Tim Dillon's podcast. That's fucking awesome. That's a hell of a day. That's a good week. LA was a movie. Yeah. That's crazy.

It's crazy how just saying yes to things sometimes will give you like it'll just be a fucking awesome time you still have it you know what i mean oh yeah it doesn't matter you and i are like roughly the same age yeah and we're you know we've got wives we're you know probably settling down a little bit from those wild nights but at the same time though like i had this entire weekend i had wild nights there was a new bar that opened though, like I had this entire weekend, I had wild nights. There was a new bar that opened up in our neighborhood. They had like fucking, there's like clues on the coasters.

It's like a lion's head cap. It'll be like just inside a beaver. It's like, oh, it's Justin Beaver or whatever. And I was going home. There's like a Buddhist temple across the street from me. And I was like going through all these coasters, reading the things. And I was so fucked up. I was like, dude, these Buddhistasters reading the things and I was so fucked up I was like dude these Buddhist dudes need to

fucking do these quizzes too and I was like throwing the coasters over to the fucking Buddhist temple I was absolutely obliterated I was like they need to be able to do these same quizzes and but to your point it's just like yeah you still have it I still went hard as

fuck the entire weekend and it wasn't like I hate when people who are our age or older or like even younger is more frustrating when they're like, oh, like you get your late 20s and fucking hangovers are fucking brutal. It's like, no, dude, it's exact same as any hangover you've ever had. Agreed. It's not any harder. And you could just go hard if you have like, as long as you don't have children in your

life. Right. You're pretty much good to go. Spot on. Is that the, by the way, Ronan and I are just children in your life, you're pretty much good to go. Spot on. Is that the, by the way, Ronan and I are just about neighbors. Yeah, right.

Just about neighbors. Which has been really fun. And so is Big Cat. Yeah, he's right in the neighborhood as well. Yeah, I see him all the time. He didn't come over to play Secret Hitler. No. I've thrown him a couple invites,

but you know, he's too big of a deal. He's a homebody. And I do see him every once in a while. And I almost always used to say hi, but... big of a deal he's a homebody and and and i do see him every once in a while and and uh i almost always used to say hi but he's always got headphones in and he is often with his family and and you know his reactions it was it was so clear because he probably gets accosted a lot and this is his private life. Yeah, I've seen him

on the street before and I'll even be like, big cat, and until he realizes exactly who it is, he'll just give a half-wave type of thing. Yeah, and I don't want to bug him, nor do I want the shame of feeling like a fan. Oh, yeah. That's why I'm always like, Dan! Dan

Katz! Former colleague! How are you? That's why I'm always like, Dan, Dan Katz, former colleague. How are you? Yeah, it's the only way to kind of, because if you wave to somebody, dude, this happened to me. I saw J. Cole recently. I was on a bike. I saw J. Cole and I fucking, I was like, Cole! I gave him a big wave and he just looked dead the other way, dude.

He gave me no acknowledgement. When did you see J. Cole? Like two weeks ago, biking home. He was in like the fucking, he was in like Chelsea or like West Village was he biking? he was biking that's cool he bikes everywhere I saw Andrew Schultz biking a couple weeks ago dude by the way his special I was watching his special this morning

it just came out like yesterday so fucking good yeah he's unbelievable two great things came out this week Andrew Schultz's special and Nathan Fielder's new show. Did you watch it yet? I haven't seen that either. I want to see it. It's so good. He's just a fucking sick, twisted bastard.

That's great. He's just fucking out of his goddamn mind. Which, you know, you've got to respect. Same with Schultz, though. Any nasty jokes in Schultz's special? What do you mean? Well, he said that they wanted him to cut jokes. You think that's true or no? Well, he said that they wanted him to cut jokes. Do you think that's

true or no? It was supposed to be on Netflix and then he just said, I'm going to sell it myself. I'll buy anybody's shit. If I fuck with you, I bought it and even forgot to watch it. I bought it last night. I was going to watch it. I'll just support anybody who's like... What was Louie's?

It was like $10? Something like that. And now his is $ like this is 15 15 yeah 15 for a one-time use for an hour but he's cake no no i think you own it or it's like 50 i think it's like a 15-day lease of it or something like that i don't know if you own it i think you get to watch it for like 14 15 or 14 days or something like that but i'll support anybody but i i thought it was just like pretty much in line with the rest of his comedy i thought it was just like this is this is the kind of shit it wasn't that like bro on the pale bro a lot of bras yeah talking about bra and also he knows every ethnic group he just knows ethnic

oh yeah i saw that weger muslim yeah i saw that clip yeah yeah i rented um marry me with jennifer lopez and owen wilson and uh meant to watch it But as soon as you sort of hit play for even a second, right, it says get off of it. It was like the 30 day rental period has begun. And every day I would get a notification from like Apple being like, you have 28 days left to watch it. And by the last day I tried to force myself to watch it just out of,

because you, I mean, you waste it. I mean, it's sunk costs, but 499, you might as well watch it. And I, I couldn't even get watch it. I mean, you've wasted I mean, it's sunk cost, but you might as well watch it. I couldn't even get through it. I thought it was so bad. But she just got married again to Ben Affleck.

I know. I can't believe it. What made you buy it, though? Was it a little rom-com? I was looking for something light-hearted. I was traveling. I wanted something a little light-hearted. I love a rom-com. And it got good marks on Rotten Tomatoes, but boy, it was just... Wait, were you going to watch it alone?

Yeah, I was going to watch it on a plane. What? I was going to watch it on a plane. Because the last movie I watched on a plane was Jackass 3, and there was so much... Or the new one. Yeah, a ton of penis. There was so much dick in it that I kept having to go like that. I just throw my whole hand over the screen.

Just censoring it myself. It is a little bit too much penis to throw up on a screen, but they don't care anymore on planes. They'll just fucking have the full nudity. They do give you a warning if there's a plane crash in the movie, though. Have you ever gotten that? Really? Yes.

Really? I didn't know that. What were you watching, a Flight 93 movie on a plane? No, I watched World War Z on a plane. Oh, yeah, that's kind of good. And there's a plane crash in that. Good scene there. I cannot watch a rom-com, though. I't watch by myself i've been watching i'm gonna going through

a big war movie kick yeah just like i'll watch even if it's like even it gets like a five out of ten i'll watch it i'll just eat it up i love like the little said this yeah but it's it's still going it's back it's back fully um i love like the banter that the war guys have because it's just so cringy what do you mean like the little the small talk jokes that they make they're like welcome to paradise that's like flying over afghanistan it is every where which way is the ritz-carlton it is every movie just like that dude and they've been making good ass war movies for a long time yeah before they could even, people who watched war movies before there were special effects or, like, a special kind of stupid.

Like, that they were just watching, like, there would be, like, an explosion and, like, it would just be someone, like, flipping. Like, you couldn't even simulate body parts flying. What was the first movie where there was, like, gnarly-ass special effects? Like Black Hawk Down? I actually have the answer to this. What is it? So, well, you go back to 1927 uh-huh right silent films right at the on the eve of the transition to talkies

as they called them al jolson's the jazz singer and there was a movie called wings that came out and it was the first people were at this point in America and Europe were obsessed with air travel. Lindbergh had just crossed the Atlantic. He's the most famous person on the planet. And they were and Europe was ahead of us in many ways in terms of travel by air. And they made a movie called Wings, which was about, you know, it was like war and planes in war. Because, you know, there had been some pretty rudimentary planes in World War I. And I think it was set in that time.

But this was the first movie that affixed cameras to an actual plane. Damn. And had them like facing the pilot. In 27 they were doing that? 1927. That's crazy. And it was so realistic and such a departure from the crappy way that, like, before that, I'm pretty sure they were just using- They probably lynched the director of it.

They're like, this fucking witch. But I'm sure they were using, like, little toy, you know, small versions of planes to simulate those scenes. And this was the first one where they were actually in the air. And it was so dramatic that people were fainting left and right. Like when they went to these movies. Yeah, they'd see the movie. That's awesome. I mean, it makes sense. Especially if you've never imagined it, you never had flown before and you see that movie.

I know. And nobody had either. There's no footage of planes flying. The amount of trust that they put in on early flights. At what percent clip were people crashing and dying on early flights? Was everybody, were half the people dying? Constantly.

What was so fucked up was in the race to see who could cross the Atlantic first, there were a whole bunch of people who had tried. And they just, it was all or nothing. You either made it or you died. You just disappeared in the Atlantic and were never seen again. Because I'm pretty sure there's still

no radar over the Atlantic. For the regular flights that are going back and forth, I'm almost positive there's no radar over the Atlantic. Is that right? What do you mean? There's not radar over the Atlantic. I don't think that's true. It's 100% true. What do you mean no radar? You're thinking of Malaysia.

Yeah, you're thinking of Malaysia. But what do you mean when you're saying radar? No, you're thinking of Malaysia. Yeah, you're thinking of Malaysia. But what do you mean when you're saying radar? That there's no radar over the Atlantic. That's a pretty vague thing that you spit out. Planes don't have radar. Yeah, there's no radar. Like, what do you mean? Let's look it up.

Radar of what? Why does it go dark? There's no radar over the Atlantic. Dude, like everywhere that a plane flies. Is it because they're too far from land? So they're out of the reach of radar from land? I'm going to do an ad.

Owen, do you mind just looking up if there's radar over the Atlantic? I'm not really much about radar over the Atlantic, so it must not be a thing. That's probably right, exactly. In Roan's defense. Yeah, exactly. If there's no articles about it, no. My dad told my wife

this recently and it and she's been chewing fucking xanax down ever since we it was right before our flight and she like looked it up and she's been telling everybody i'm just regurgitating the facts that have been regurgitated to me you know it's bad if she's chewing the xanax oh yeah she's pounding it out and snorting it off of her tray and right at the fucking their delta rewards card yeah exactly double ritz the hulks um but if if let's talk about game time let's talk about game time game time i was trying to figure out the best way to uh segue from snorting xanax to the i want to go back i want to circle back on the Xanax thing after we do the ad. Okay. Yeah.

What are you off? The Metaclopramide? What type of off-brand? Oh, Ativan, of course. GameTime, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on tickets to sports concerts and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. They cracked the code on how to get more deals on last-minute tickets.

Sass said he's going to take me to a Yankees game, and the only way that he can even afford tickets is to get some sweet-ass deals via GameTime. You want to take it from there? I thought you were about to take over. Oh, no, no. You're just saying it with me. I was just hopping in.

Got you. You can now find MLB tickets for under $15 all in on game time. Yankees tickets $14. Red Sox $14. Mets tickets $13. You could go to a Harvard hockey game for less than $2 if you just use the GameTime app.

It's fucking incredible. Download the GameTime app. Go to the account tab. Create a login and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Download GameTime. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed.

Let's talk about your dependence to drugs. Oh, no, no. I was going to say, because Owen brought up the Hulk Xanaxes. Do you guys know what those are? No. The big ones. Those are made by people, right? Those are pill pressed by made by people, right? Like those are pill pressed by like a drug

dealer, right? Like doctors don't prescribe you a Hulk Xanax. Try some of our Harry Potter. I'm not sure. Because my, I had this argument with my friends and they were like, no, like they exist, like the doctors make them, they just don't like, they don't, they don't, obviously don't call them Hulk Xanaxes, but I'm like, I don't think they would

make, they're like three times the size of a normal Xanax. Do doctors call them footballs and bananas too? i don't think they would make they're like three times the size of a normal xanax do doctors call them footballs and bananas too i don't know or they just those just street names i mean i think it's just they're just pill pressed we're gonna put you on like 15 sticks they're green we're gonna put you on a handful of sticks chew these up yeah xanax never really did it for me to be honest i tried it for flying a couple times And I would wake up so groggy that I just Couldn't fucking handle it It comes down to that everybody on the plane is scared

Of death for the most part Not me And just some people have access to hard drugs Some people have fucking psychiatrists That trust them enough to give them hard drugs And everybody else is labeled drug seeking You mentioned that he couldn't afford Yankees

tickets so i i know this has probably been beaten to death here but i am so curious what the number was that you asked for for your race oh i would never say oh you wouldn't no oh okay want me to say no you don't even know all i will say is that I asked for, Roan told me to ask for like a hundred thousand more than that and was being one and was being fully serious. Yeah. Yeah. But he's, he's like that.

I don't think he understands how much money that everyone else makes compared to him. He likes to gas people up and then just step back and watch. I was like, I was like, yo dude, he said no. And Rome was like,

I don't know. Yeah. He'd be the guy at the Hindenburg being like, no, no, it can take more. Yeah, more gas. Yeah, gas it up. Dude, but well, in reality, the only thing that they could say, the worst thing that they could say is no. And then go on a podcast.

Yeah. And they did that. And they did the worst thing. That wasn't bad as it gets. But the worst thing they could say is no. Dave was like, yeah, I mean, you talked about it on the Yak. And I said I didn't get a raise dave went out like it was so much different yeah he lit you the fuck up but uh he said it was the most delusional ask he's ever had

in 20 years of running the company it is funny i do i didn't even like what i asked for would not like you would be like oh that was it he it. He's prone to hyperbole. Yeah. That's it. Really? It wasn't that much. OK, so people think I asked for like half a million dollars. And it was half of that. No, it was.

It was less than it was less than half of that. It was less than half of what I told him was half. So he wanted 150 and I told him 250. And it could have been a negotiating thing. No, I'm talking. It was just a strict no. Well, if that's, if that is the neighborhood, then you're not as crazy. I was so confident I was going, I was like, no, that isn't the fucking bad, dude.

I had a contract, or not a contract, like a raised thing. I went in, which is really scary, by the way. It's very scary, especially, I mean, well, you, were you representing yourself at the time? Yeah, I just went in and I was like, all right, I've added so many things more that I'm now doing. Which is the way to do it.

It's like if you want a negotiation being like, I've added these things. No, you didn't. I was just, my workload went up by like fucking six more hours a day, if not more. And I went in and I was like, I'm wondering if you'd be open to give me a raise or whatever and he's like okay well i'll talk to erica and you know what were you thinking and i said a number i think i said um 125 because i think i was making 75 and i asked for 125 and he said okay i'll talk to erica and they came back and gave me higher than that. So, so. See?

I'm going to go in and ask for less. But look at how that worked out for me. I mean, it's like the opposite thing happened to you and you're still here. So you're doing better than I was. Well, he just found out how much you were making. So he knows he's not doing better than you were. Yeah.

But it's. I don't really care anymore. Like I got over it. And you're making all this you were. I don't really care anymore. And you're making all this other money. I don't care about money anymore. You're making insane money doing stand-up. Laughably insane money. But it shows that they will just give you

a fucking ton of money. It becomes some money. Especially somewhere like this. Because everyone's so narcissistic and ego maniacs here that it's like you get so invested. You're like, wait, wait, they're making this much? And then it's like keeping you up at night. You're like, no, that can't be true.

That's not possible. They don't do anything. It definitely keeps 90% of people up at night. Yeah. And then I was, eventually, it actually like was beneficial getting to neither race. Kelly in Vegas is making $2 million a year. It's always like, it's always like someone who doesn't work at the office.

Like, yo, did you know they're making fucking eight figures a year? You know, they're paying carabas gold toilet paper. Yeah. And then like, it actually like carabas is on the red socks.

Yeah. Yeah. It was extremely beneficial for my mental health getting denied the race because like I was, whatever, I was pissed about it for like a month, and then I just stopped thinking about it. Because I was like, okay, I'm not getting a raise. They sent you to rock bottom.

Yeah. And now I'm like, now I'm chilling. Speaking of stand-up, I think now would be a good time to just mention that actually, Sass and I are going on a little bit of a mini tour. We're calling it Fran Sass. That's incredible. It's like Francis, but Fran Sass. Very creative. We'll be in St.'s incredible it's like francis but france very

creative we'll be in we'll be in st louis it's like frani does china it's like your naming is just combining the names i got one trick yeah exactly uh and uh and uh we'll be in st louis at helium uh july 28th to the 30th and then we're going to be in red bank new jersey on august 10th i believe we're going to be in jersey city, New Jersey on August 10th, I believe. We're going to be in Jersey City on August 4th. So come to some of those shows. You can get tickets for that at francisells.com. Yes.

That's all I'm going to say about that. Maybe at the end of the show, I'll do it again. Facts. Who was the- I'm also going to plug. I'm going to be in Philly tomorrow. So today. And the tickets are-

Yes, today. And Wednesday. And the tickets are not sold out yet. They are going to sell out, but buy your tickets. Yes, Hel out. And Wednesday. And the tickets are not sold out yet. They are going to sell out, but buy your tickets. Yes, helium. Helium. Wait, who made that dumbass that flyer for you guys?

That was, do you know which one I'm talking about? No, no, no. The one that was just like an Instagram. It just said like the name of the city.

Did you see this? Did you see this? It was literally just New Jersey and then a picture of us and it was like an ad they were running. Oh, no, I did not. I sent you something. I have this pulled up. I sent you something. Look at this. This is the ad that they were running.

Oh, God. I can show it to the camera, but it just says New Jersey! Exclamation point with just a picture of us. Welcome to the... That is you guys. That is you guys and the place. That is where it is going to be.

People are going to have no idea what that means. How did you guys link up? Do you think it was just like both worked at Barstool or it's kind of similar sense of humor? What do you mean how did we link up? The fact that you're doing shows together. We started seeing each other at the stand a lot. Yeah, and then I opened for him at Gotham.

Got it. And then I opened for him at the Bell House. Was it the Bell House? Yeah. Yeah. And we, you know, I thought like we might as well combine forces because obviously, you know, we're testing the waters here, but we like each other.

And I think, you know, when you're on the road, there's a lot of downtime. It's nice to have someone to have breakfast with. You need to get breakfast with someone. Yeah. But he gets shit-faced on the road and can't live life without drinking. And you obviously, look at your body. You obviously don't drink that much.

I throw them back. You throw them back. But you're, it's not. I'm back in the gym. I'm back on my gym grind. Are you? Yeah, yesterday was my first day back. Oh, fuck yes.

I'm going again today. I'm doing the KB method. KB was just like, dude, like I just go to the gym every day and I just do whatever I feel like doing. It's kind of really like, I'm not like, Oh, I need to do legacy.

So you're going to do chest for five days in a row, hurt yourself and not go back for six months. It'll look like a chick. I don't give a fuck. Titty down to the socks. That's the dream. You should let Francis train you. No,

I don't want to. I don't want to train her. I want to just do, I just want to go and have a good time and make sure I keep going. Francis, why don't you ever come to Solidcore, dude? Ooh, that's the funny thing you say that. Because my fiance was there and you guys, you and your wife were there. Yeah, I saw her.

I was like, is that her? Yeah. I think both sides were like, is that them? I'm pretty sure it's her. And she said that you guys were wearing masks. Wow. Is that right? Do she said that you guys were wearing masks. Wow. Is that right? Do you wear masks to Solidcore?

No, we had COVID. Bro, you can't be super spreading at Solidcore. Good for you. No, we were wearing masks. We weren't super spreading. That's crazy. Oh, we're going to cancel your ass. What's the guy's name from the Daily Beast

I wanna email him yeah call that call his pedophile ass up dude yeah Michael Jackson at the Daily Beast littleboysandgirls.com I don't know

yeah something like that no I think it was in like the test like done with it but testing yeah smart I was like

I don't think they're the types of people who would be we're not pussies dude we're not pussies well like who would go to a group fitness class, but then be fearful of everyone there and therefore wear masks. Wearing masks while going to the gym

was like the worst thing. Like it would be, like your mask would be like wet. But when I would do a solid core, I would feel like I was altitude training. I would like take off the mask. That kind of rules. Breathe in a fresh, big ass.

It felt strong. That solid core is no joke, man. That kind of rules. Breathe in a fresh, big ass. It felt strong. I want to do that shit. That's all, of course. No joke, man. Have you ever done it? She brought me once. Why don't you come through, dude? I'm going to come more.

I want to come more. Come more. Let's do it all together. I was there this morning. I think I... What is it? What do you do there? You do it every day?

I do it like three days a week. That's so nuts. So that means you're good at it. I'm not. It's really hard. It is hard, but you're in better shape than I am. So it's like you still will be able to do it. But it's such a specific set of muscles, and I don't really work on those a lot.

Really? Yeah, it's all your core, man. I don't have that. Yeah, you have glamour muscles, though. You have glamour muscles galore. I kind of do what KB does. I go to the gym, and I'm like, what needs punishment today? I'll just do that.

You just blast your ass? Just do a bunch of squats? See something, and I work on it. Speaking of, by the way, you know what's really fascinating to me right now? Is this Brittany Griner situation. Have you guys talked about that? No, never. You know Brittany Griner?

Nope. He doesn't know any athletes, dude. He doesn't know the fuck. Oh, is this the girl that's in prison? Yeah, she's in Russia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a WNBA star. One of the best ever.

No, you know what really gets me going about that is the people who are like, shouldn't have brought the fucking drugs to this. Like people that are in America and like, shouldn't have brought in drugs to an illegal drugs, like country. It's like, dude, kill yourself.

Yeah. You really think she should be in Russian prison because she brought a dab pen. It is like these dudes. Like if you look under like anytime, like ESPN or any like sports company posts about it all the comments are like get out what she deserved it's like no it's because you hate women and you hate the w nba you think she should be in prison why what's your take on it well yeah try and top that i mean she she you know it's like she's like six five six eight and can she's six eight it's like

shouldn't she escape like am i wrong about that like can't she escape she should be stronger and bigger than all these this is the best if lebron were in prison over there we'd be like oh he's gonna be fine he'll be home soon yeah i mean i have no doubt that this woman is the best we've got how have we not freed her in prison who and i would think could just certainly fight her way out but but basketball players can't fight really they're wmba players they can fight better than nba players these are tough bitches i saw a basketball clip this past weekend of a wmba woman like trying to fight another WNBA woman. As if they were fucking big, strong men.

And they were going to fight each other. That's right. At a fucking fifth of the price. There's no G League for the WNBA. It's just federal prison. All those girls are picked off the yard. It's like the longest yard. That's what it is, man.

It's probably true. They go to UConn, then they go to the yard, and then they go to the Sparks sparks i mean look imagine how good she's going to be when she gets out of russian prison oh yeah how fucking tough she's training probably just training over there she is drafted by the eagles in the yard she's just going to be fucking absolutely yoked yeah what is going on that we haven't gotten her out yet though nobody cares there's nothing to be done you know i'm sure that putin would be asking for like some prisoner that we have of theirs so let's just give it to him remember when Trump was tweeting about ASAP Rocky

he was like ASAP Rocky needs to go he got ASAP Rocky out didn't he didn't he get Kodak out too I think he did he freed the bros now Kodak's back in jail Kodak's back in prison Brittany Griner needs to this was interesting they caught Kodak

with 30 pills of Oxycontin how do you get caught with like how do you put it in your pants or something 30 pills

just take them all were they hulks yeah probably the hulks would have been the hulks sandwich I don't really get how you get caught with pills

yeah just say just put them in a regular pill bottle like who is going through pill bottles and being like, well, yeah, why would they be going through pill? I mean, I guess I don't know. I guess he's been arrested like 700 times too. I bet

was it who you said it was Kodak Black? Yeah. My guess is that even if he had put them in his pants, they would have fallen out the pant leg. Yeah. Those are the types of pants. He's not that. Yeah, he wears a wide a gaucho perhaps. A boot cut. He wears a boot cut. He's not that. Yeah, he wears a wide gaucho, perhaps. A boot cut. He wears a boot cut. He's been to prison like 10 times.

He was probably wearing some Allbirds, honestly. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Oh, wait. Allbirds is, well, it's mainly footwear. So he could have just put them in his shoes if he were wearing some Allbirds. Allbirds is a footwear company that creates shoes that are made from natural materials that are better for you

and they're better for the planet. It's the perfect everyday sneaker made with premium natural materials like a eucalyptus fiber. They're designed with a breathable knit that keeps your feet cool and they're super lightweight, making them the perfect pair to take along on any adventure. I was wearing them the whole fucking time in France, dude. They thought that I was fucking rich. And I was just masquerading because they're very affordably priced. The Tree Runners, they gave it to us at the beginning of quarantine. It's my go-to running shoe.

It's the most comfortable sneakers I've ever owned. They really are beautiful. They really are nice. There's cobblestone in our neighborhood. I'll run on the cobblestone. Incredible ankle support. It's a little bit wider on the sole. So you've never once complained of a shin splint.

I don't get shin splints is why. That's exactly why. And that's exclusively thanks to our good friends at Allbirds for find your new favorite shoes for sunny days and upcoming travel at Allbirds.com. A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S dot com. And we didn't ask Francis to say that they're fucking awesome he just

he just said them he said that of his own volition team player I work here again you do now you fucking do now I actually got that ad

for this podcast yeah thank you you fucking went out and just I mean you're a true guy you went out and did your own sales I walked right into Allbirds

and I said hey guys help me out how about my boys I need something I was like I was like Jason Street rude guy. You went out and did your own sales. I walked right into Allbirds and I said, hey guys, help me out. How about my boys? I need something. I was like Jason Street getting that client. Yeah, you were, dude. That was the least you could do. Proving that even though I'm in a wheelchair,

I can still be a good Asian. You can, dude. And you hooked it up for us. It was really an incredible mitzvah that you gave to us. You say you're going to Philly as well? Yeah, I'm going tonight. McCusker, do you know, he does Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. He does like a Monday show at Helium that's like working on new jokes.

Dude, talk about someone who's rich as fuck now, dude. He's rich as fuck now. Yeah, he's killing it. Oh, for that fucking podcast. You're going to Philly tonight? Yeah. Oh, damn. You want to go? I would love to, but I can't. He's killing it. You're going to Philly tonight? Yeah. Oh, damn. You want to go?

I would love to, but I can't. He's not allowed in Philly without me. Oh, that's right. Are you going next week? No, I'm going tomorrow. Oh, you're going tomorrow? And then Wednesday. Nice.

Yeah. I'm going to be his little chaperone around Philly. It's an easy trip. It's an easy trip. You're going down? I might go down for one of his shows. Nice. I don't know what I would do, though.

You can't promote it as that, though, because then people are going to be like yo where the fuck was Roan when you inevitably don't come yeah probably won't he called me on one of his shows and I just started saying hard slurs into the phone so we had to hang up real quick I'm excited for this this is going to be fun because I think

no because I think like my Arlington shows I was like really really nervous and I got really drunk and a mistake. Yeah, that's a battle. Yeah. That's a battle. I was on stage. This one, I'm going to take it nice and easy.

I'm going to Arlington this weekend. I'm doing Draft House this weekend. That'll be fun. I like that place. Have you ever struggled with getting super fucked up before a bunch of your shows or did you keep it pretty close to the chest? You know, if I'm doing, if it's my show, I can't. Because it's too much time. What do you mean?

If I'm headlining and I have to do 50 minutes or something. You'll sober up. Well, I don't know. I just, I would be, I can't fl I can't, I can't fade. I can't flounder for 50 minutes. It's too long. Uh, you start to see people in the audience who are like getting edgy and you know, a little bit fidgety. Cause they're like, well, how this fucking sucks. Can we leave? And then you're like, Oh God, what have I done? You know what I mean? I just, you start to feel it. Um, so I, I don't know. know. Like I have no problem bombing sober, you know?

Cause then I'm like, yeah, I just sucked. It was my fault. I tried. But if you bomb fucked up, it's like, if I hadn't got fucked up, it might be due to my poor life decisions. If I bomb fucked up, I feel ashamed. I'm like, I cheated these people

out of what they paid for. I bombed, I don't really drink much before. I'll have like a beer or two before I go up now, but I don't do what I, when I used to do, what I used to do is I would just like, I mean, this is not even long.

It was like a month ago, but I used to get bombed before every time I would go up. But when we did that drinking show at the stand, just a little shot, a little shot of water. And then I did your show after. Yeah. And it's all girls in the crowd.

They hated me. No. Oh, they hated me. I thought they liked you. And when's all girls in the crowd. They hated me. No. Oh, they hated me. I thought they liked you. And when you're drunk like that and you're like, I don't even know. There's nothing I can do to recover right now because my mind's not in the right spot. Right. Yeah.

See that? It's pretty nice. Significantly better. It's like a core water. I hate to be this guy. Is there any chance that I could get one more of these? These are so delicious. Of course, bro.

I'm sorry. Whatever you need. we'll roll out the red carpet for you. I guess he just went to the bathroom. So, honestly, I don't even want to go out there yet. I don't know who's out there. Yeah, you really don't. It could be fucking Dave. It could be Big Cat being like, oh shit, is this a fan? It really might be.

Hello, Dan. Hello, Daniel. Daniel Katz. Daniel Katz, government name. Start rattling off his social security number. We can't talk about that one project that you were going to work on, can we? You know, we could not. Oh, look at that. You got fire trucks going by. Yep.

All right, we won't talk about it. No, no, it's not that we can't. Probably shouldn't. Probably shouldn't right now. Probably for the best, yeah. For the best right now. It would be cool if we could have. I think there's some fun developments coming up.

Oh, really? On that. I love that. that still moving along that's fucking great then so it's uh it's been good fuck yes dude that's incredible it's always great to be able to work on a wide array of different things and that's got to be part of what you miss of being in here that there's just like a bunch of different things sometimes it probably get annoying when it's like someone's like you got to be at this shoot at like 8 a.m and fucking uh wherever the fuck and you have to like wear some asics or something no yeah i wish i could wear some all birds yeah all birds would be the ones those would truly be the ones that's this has all been the fucking ad read no what was the like didn't you have like some kind of like shoe deal where you were doing like all these like fitness videos or some shit like that i did

you know i did i had a deal with p did. I had a deal with Puma. I had a deal with Puma while I was here. At Barstool. You know something? This is a pebble in my all bird. Let's get it all out. This is a pebble in my shoe. You asked if I keep up with some of the stuff at Barstool, and as I said, I do.

What ends up happening is sometimes my name will get mentioned around these parts. And then whoever has seen the video of that. Thank you. Thank you very much. Um, whoever's seen the video of that on Twitter, we'll clip it and then tag me in it.

Yeah. People who just want to really put a pebble in my, they want to like, yeah, get the unrest back into your life. Like you've been peaceful and they want to slip a pee on your mattress. I want to send a Hornet up my bonnet. Yeah.

Yeah. Those motherfuckers. So I'm doing fine and then I get these, the people do that. They're like, did you see what Dave said about you on the thing,

on the rundown or whatever? And one time I had like, I'd gotten courtside tickets to the Celtics. Yes. And he started making fun of my dad. He did?

Yeah. He was like, he's got all his daddy's money. Well, no, I got the tickets for free, but they were through a friend of my dad. But I didn't pay for them. There was no money in exchange. It was more of just like his good relationship.

I wish I could have said that, though, for the clear to cleared up the record. But the one I saw that bothered me was that I think it was like, you know, they sort of rewrote the reasons for why I was fired a little bit. And it came out that he said something like, well, he's really bad at working with the sales team. He refused to do ads. And that's just not true. Yeah. That's not true. Oh, I remember him saying that.

I had a lot of, I had a ton of ads. I had an eight video or I think it was a five video Puma deal. I did a big thing for Roman where i wear all those different outfits and costumes and like makeup and stuff and then i had a burger king ad i did a trunk club thing what the point is it's not you played ball you're saying that i ball it's not that i wasn't willing to do them what happened was uh you know i was getting these companies that would message me and say, hey, we love your Instagram. Would you be willing to do an ad for us? And then I would, I asked one day if I was allowed to do that because they were just willing to pay me, you know, a couple thousand bucks or

something would have been nice. And they told me, no, you're not allowed to do that. That's a workaround against for the sales team. All ads that you do on your social media have to be through. And I said, OK, totally fine. That's fair. But then the sales team hit me with one day where they were like, we've sold ads on your Instagram. Oh, on your personal? Yeah.

And they were like, we want you to do a series of ads on your Instagram. I was like are you gonna give me any money because I had built my Instagram you know and certainly I had received spill off and growth from having worked here but not everyone here had the same Instagram number and therefore they were not all created equal. Right. And it was thought that our personal social media handles and platforms were our own. And when the sales team came to me and said that, I was like, well, if I'm not allowed to do my own, am I supposed to do these things? And I went to I actually went to Dan Katz and I said, is this right? And he's like, no, no, they're not supposed to tell you to do that. So then I went to Dave and Dave was like, OK, yeah's like no no they're not supposed to tell you to do that so then i went to dave and dave was like okay yeah i guess you know you don't have to do it and to dave's credit he was like you know you should you should take one for the team

and and i should have yeah i should have done something i should have done it i should have done it but that's what where it's a corporation that's where the have done it. But that's what, where the corporation, that's where the idea for the team, that's where the idea started that I was like unwilling to do ads. And it's not that I was unwilling to do ads. It was just to do with my own Instagram. Yeah. It is tough.

It is tough when it's like, you could have gotten it directly to you if you just didn't say anything to anybody. If you had been in a asking forgiveness, not permission type of phase. And that's the other thing. There were people who were posting. Yes. And that's the problem with it.

Personalized ads. Is that people, that there will be people. Do people still do that? I don't think I've ever, I don't know if I see anyone do that now. Sometimes you'll see like an ad, they'll be like, I got this from this place. It's like, we know what's going on there. Yeah. Well, we know what kind of sneak shit.

I mean, the Cameo thing is pretty crazy. Oh, people, you know, Frank Fleming is the fucking one of the top five creators on cameo is that right i gotta piss oh yeah my point is you know there's this like a gray area of sort of trading on the name a little bit and uh it was hard to listen to this hard and fast policy when when all of a sudden you know i was like okay i'll abide by that look i i feel bad again i was wrong i should have just sucked it up and done it but that's where that came from and and for the record i was always doing ads here and and was i knew that that was a good thing to do yeah because that's job security yeah it is roan i mean roan does ads 20 times a day the more ads

that you do the more you can sit you can more they will see that you're bringing money in. That truly is the best way to armor your position here. Oh, 100%. Well, look at us. Now that he's gone. We got nothing. I know. Yeah, so St. Louis. You excited?

I am. I've never been there. No, neither have I. It's the murder capital of America. It's one of the nicest cities in the country. I've heard that. I'm glad we're going. I am excited. I wonder if they're going to give us each our own hotel room if we're splitting.

I think we're sleeping in the green room of the club. Going to get cozy. Going to see my dick. See ya. I'm excited. St. Louis, what's it known for? The Arch? The Blues?

The Blues. Blues. They slice their bagels weird. Do they? They slice it like white bread. Really? Yeah. Wait a second.

They take a bagel and they'll cut it into 16 pieces. Are you for real? I don't actually don't. I don't hate that at all. That way you can butter or cream cheese every side. That actually sounds kind of good. You know, you might. That might not be true.

He might just be messing with us. He could be. I like that, though, if you are. He could be. So, okay. How's life for you? How are you doing here? Are you happy?

Yeah, I'm having a good time. Things have been going well recently. It's been a good summer. Yeah. Are you seeing anybody? No. No? No. Just me, myself, and I. Well, when we get to St. Louis, you're going to have to roll up those sleeves because you're going to be fisting. Yeah. You're going to be doing a lot of fisting with those big old vaginas.

That is what St. Louis is known for. I bet a lot of those young women out there have had triplets and stuff. They're going to be loose. Oh, yeah. They got the widest vaginas in St. Louis. Is it actually the murder capital? It is. Chicks sticking 16-part bagels up their poons.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Buttering every side. Butter and cream cheese. Look at that. Wow. I actually kind of love that. I don't hate it.

I don't hate it. I think that's going to be great. Bagel slicer? Dude, we're going to eat so many bagels out there. Are those St. Louis style? Yeah. That's where they're going for their joint show. Is there St. Louis style bagels?

You knew that St. Louis, they slice their bagels that way? I kind of put that. I've heard of St. Louis style shit. Don't they have like a weird pizza or something that they do? Like St. Louis style hot dogs or something? The Barstool main page posts this like twice a year for engagement they're like look at this and then yeah those fucking freaks barstool st louis i actually texted gas and let him know about that that shoulder video i did yeah i was like listen i know it's probably not going to happen but this is the highest engagement i've ever had and if you put it on the main page, I bet it would explode. And he was like, LOL, probably would.

Ah, that's tough. I didn't even, I just, we, cause he and I used to, I used to obsess over engagement. You know,

I'd do those Game of Thrones songs, stuff like that. And anytime I could get something of my own on the main page, you just get like 12,000 followers. They, now they've like, will prioritize stuff

that's made by us rather than just viral stuff all over. They have to because all the viral stuff gets taken down now. Exactly. What?

Instagram incentivizes it. Like reposting viral clips doesn't do what it used to. The guidelines on Instagram are fucked. They want original content. Interesting. But SAS doing a skit

will do insane numbies. So if you had been back in the building, if you had still been working here, they'd be posting every single one of them to the fucking tunes or fucking hate clicks. I'd be doing as well as Caleb. I'd probably be doing as well as him. He does fucking crazy numbies, bro.

Yeah, he's doing really well. He's doing fucking great. He's killing it. Is there anybody that you had beef with while you were here yeah come on talk some shit other than ebony i'm trying obviously ebony no she still hates you i don't know uh you know you know i i will say that one thing that actually was really nice was the day i got fired i mean i i think something like 98 of the content people texted me and were like, dude, I'm so sorry. It's a joy working with you.

And it made me realize I didn't really have enemies here. Or it was one-sided. Like you didn't like people, but they liked you. So then suddenly you like them. You know, look. If someone likes me, I'll like them back. Yeah. Yeah. There were, you know, your, your usual suspects like Nate ground, my gears a lot, but he's also been great in, in the day in sense. And I have this begrudging love for Nate, um, because I think he's very good at what he does and I respect

him and he was also very nice to me in the wake of all of that. But man, he used to make me so mad when I worked here. In what ways? Like one time he you know, I was doing Barstool Breakfast. So for a year, I didn't miss a single show.

A whole year, Monday through Friday did not miss a show. 6 a.m. 7 a.m. But we'd be in at 6. So 6, and then I'd be here, and then I'd stay after and write blogs all day. And then I'd go on the road on the weekend for stand-up. So I was just exhausted all the time.

And one day, on a Friday, I did Barstool Breakfast. I wrote all my blogs. And then I left at like 2.30 or 3 o'clock on a Friday. What did Barstool breakfast. I wrote all my blogs and then I left at like two 30 or three o'clock on a Friday. What did he hit you with that half day? He took a picture of me walking out and then put a timestamp next to it and tweeted like, guess he's having,

yeah, like guess someone's having a half day. Must be nice. I feel like that part of the, and I was like, what the fuck, man? Yeah.

When I first started all over the places like that here, I feel like when I of the... And I was like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. Dude, when I first started... It's all over the places like that here, I feel like. When I first started, he would... I remember it was the first rough and rowdy that I was here for. And I was like... I wasn't in New York, but it was a weekend or something. And I logged on Twitter and Nate just tweeted the rough and rowdy link and then at me. As in like, why aren't you probably start promoting

retweet this and I'm like dude like it's the same affliction I'm like you think that like you think I don't know dude I gotta say some of the numbers that I've seen people get paid for some of these rough and rowdies I strongly consider trying

to trying to do it and I have a great what's your price I have a great opponent that I think would really generate some downloads. Sean Avery. The bike guy? No, the hockey guy. But he city bikes all over. He's like a staunch bike guy. But yeah, Sean Avery would fight you?

I think he would because I was doing alternate side parking and that was starting to grow. And then one day he did like film people doing it. So everyone tagged me in his video that he had posted. And then I just like retweeted or wrote something really passive aggressive. Like, you know, like, I guess I guess this is he just. Oh, I said something like hard to believe that he's now taking my sloppy seconds, which was a call back to the thing he got in trouble for in the NHL. If you remember when Elisha Cuthbert, he had dated her, who was Jack Bauer's daughter on 24th. Of course. And then she was in the girl next door as well.

Yeah. Amazing. Amazing. And she dated him. door as well yeah amazing amazing and she dated him and then she started dating uh dion finuff i think uh who was the defenseman for the toronto uh maple leafs and avery in a press conference or was in the locker room and pulled a camera person over and was like i'm trying to figure out why all these guys in the league keep dating my sloppy seconds like what's that about and he thought it'd be funny but he got like suspended and like all the players in the league were like that's so fucked like what you know what is he

doing and it's a whatever a mark on his resume i guess but um so you've tried to give it to him made a call back to that and it just is like a joke he doesn't know who i am and then he went on his podcast and spent half an hour like talking about how i'm like just shitting on me i didn't i didn't even listen to it but i heard a friend of mine listen to it for me he was like yeah don't listen to it i'll listen to every just saying like calling me the worst names and all this so i was like oh that would be somebody that people would assume would be a fair fight he's a former nhl antagonist yeah he was an instigator he would fight a lot i think He's a former NHL antagonist. Yeah, he was an instigator. He would fight a lot. I think a lot of people would probably think he'd

beat me, but I'm, you know, I'm somewhat athletic. What's your price? What are you asking for? I don't know. See, the problem is like... Dude, you could definitely do it. The problem is that I don't... I am... I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I'm afraid for my brain.

Yeah. I don't want to... I've had concussions. Yeah, you don't want to end up like Brennan Schwab. I don afraid for my brain. Yeah. I don't want to. I've had concussions. Yeah, you don't want to end up like Brennan Schwab. I don't want. Yeah, I don't really. I don't know. You say it like Charles Schwab.

How do you pronounce it? Schwab. Schwab, my bad. You said Schwab. I said Schwab. Brennan Schwab. That's where I get my advice, my investment advice from. The number would.

It's like Jose Canseco got a million dollars. Yeah, a million dollars. And he took a dive. I mean, if I got paid a million dollars, yeah, I'd spend three minutes in the ring with Sean Avery. No problem. Yeah.

How about half a million? Maybe 500. Yeah. I'd do it for a hundred. You wouldn't do it for a hundred? I guess I wouldn't do it for a hundred. I might do it for a hundred. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What are they paying? What are they paying the Marshall employees now to do it? So I think that Dave just said, but I also said he heard like he's not going to pay some people.

Like, I think he was like, oh, if Doug's is like asking about a contract, like I'm not going to pay Doug's to fight him rough and rowdy. But I think some other people have been offered six figure. I think Jersey Jerry and Nadeau, I think that fight they got paid a lot. Really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure sure i'm pretty sure got six figures other people i think they both got six figures just for fighting yeah it's been and i'm pretty sure they've been public about that right i'm not exposing information yeah some yeah big guarantees have been offered dude i got paid 1500 from winning the fucking spelling bee yeah it is a ton of i mean i didn't get shit for winning

the combine no there's a and now people are getting paid uh i mean there's all these kinds of say huh i was gonna say something about something but like we can't talk about it yeah there were multiple things that people have gotten paid for recently tournaments like weekly here now where people are like that oh yeah it's like 200k on the line oh it's these games. These game shows. Those are paying people really well? Dude, I would do that shit. Are you kidding? What did they get for Barstow Horse America? $40,000? Yeah, $5,500.

Or $3,600. $40,000 split five ways, I think. And then a house, too, though. They could party in a shore house. That's not crazy. Six figures for one person for a boxing match. It's three one-minute for one person for a boxing match it's three one minute rounds that's a joke you can evade possible to get hurt you can evade that whole time and then if you want to got fucking ko'd which guy well who was the guy that who was

the guy that was always knocking people out yeah yeah yeah yeah but that would be awesome you can sean avery would be cool as fuck how's tall is he's like 5 10 or something like that he's a little bit smaller he's probably a little smaller oh you could but he's so feisty though but he's he knows what he's doing he might beat the shit out of me i like i'm fully aware of that um i really wouldn't say that like hockey fights have much like correlation to real fights they're better than that's a more just like they probably did all those all those guys who knew they would go into a season and fight, they would all box in the offseason. Yeah, it makes sense.

All the time. That's half of their training, probably. But they're grabbing onto each other's jerseys and shit. Yeah. And sunglasses. Yeah. Now that part threw me off. No, it's actually earbuds. Oh, sunglasses. These Raycon everyday earbuds.

We got these a while ago, and I've been waiting for us to have this ad because they just gave them to us. They're incredible earbuds. They're like, this is off script, but they're the only earbuds. I have weird shaped ears. They're the only earbuds that have ever stayed inside of my eardrum. While you walk as well. When I could walk, run with them, bike to work with them, dude. They are called the everyday earbuds because they're just that.

They look, feel, and sound better than ever. It's Raycon's everyday earbuds. Optimized gel tips. Perfect fit in the ear. You can get eight hours of playtime and a 32-hour battery life. And I feel like it's longer than that. I feel like they're underselling it because these last forever. Raycons are priced just right. You'll get quality audio at half the price of other premium audio brands. Get Raycon everyday earbuds, and they're both Siri and Alexa compatible. Go to buyraycon.com slash boydad today. Get 15% off your Raycon order.

That's buyraycon.com slash boydad to score 15% off. Buy Raycon.com slash boydad. Isn't it crazy that we actually have ads on this show? It's good. This is good for him. Yeah, massive. He needs this. This is going to go well in your next contract negotiation.

I don't know if Offended the Musical ever got mad. We didn't get there. We didn't get there, but we had fun. I was a fan of Offended the Musical. We were fucking chomping. There was a lot of really funny shit

that went on. Yeah, there was only like 15 episodes. We didn't do a ton, but man, I had a good time. It was harder to do than just an episode where you come in and talk to shit or shoot the shit.

It was hard. That was probably what sunk us in the end. We were just, we both silently realized like, this is so much work. Were they monthly? No, we were putting out one a week, I think. It was weekly. Yeah, that was probably too much. So much work.

But they were incredible. There was a lot to come up with. It was creative. It was cool to see you. That was to me. Dude, it was cool to see you. That was to me seeing you at the height of your powers. Making up songs?

Just how quickly you realized we'd stumbled upon something that was worth singing about. How well you could improvise funny in a song. It's one thing to sing a song, improvise it, and just make it rhyme or even make it make sense. It's a whole nother thing to have it be funny. And I just, I was multiple, you were running circles around me.

That's not true at all, but it was fun as fuck. But now we're doing what you and Sass did with the comedy earlier, just this fucking gracious dick suck off. And now you two

should do something to celebrate each other and I'll just go fuck myself. No, no, it's nice. We have a like uh butting heads type of thing going on oh nice it works it works real fucking good we're just busting balls yeah we just love to fucking bust balls as a way to fucking mask our insecurities dude it fucking works super good it works extremely well um you're about to be extremely real you're about to be down in philly yeah really real dude i went out with all

Sass's friends this past weekend. He's the shortest one of his friends. Come on. Every one of them is taller than him. That's what informs his personality. He has a little Napoleon complex among his crew friends. A lot of those are like rowing friends. Did you row? No.

A lot of those kids are like kids that I went to high school with. And they're all on the crew team. But we're like, we all hung out. But like, those kids are like all like freakishly tall. But they're also all like D1 athletes. Tall, good looking. They bully

the fuck out of you. And that's what informs this person out. He just is. He's been fighting back the entire time as they just fucking dummy him. It was wild how short I looked though compared to them. What are you, 6'2"? I'm 6'6". No, he's 6 and change. He's a little bit taller

than that. He's not tall. He has good height on him. And they all tower over him. He looks like such a coward among these fucking dudes. Among these actual fucking men, dude. Look at this picture. Wow. I'd like to meet some of them. Yeah, they're affable guys. these actual fucking men, dude. Look at this picture. Wow. I'd like to meet some of them.

Yeah, they're affable guys. I don't even know two of those kids in the picture. Are any of them Ivy? No. I don't waste your time. I should have started with that. You don't want to waste your time. You're going to stop by Wharton while you're down in Philly? Yeah, you know, maybe. Maybe dip a toe. by Wharton while you're down in Philly? Yeah. You know, maybe.

Maybe dip a toe. Yeah, go kiss the ring while you're down in Philly. I'm excited to get down there. I love those guys. This is the whole Shane Gillis orbit. He's got a big orbit now. Yeah, his orbit's pretty big. Who are some people that are in his orbit, would you say?

Well, it's everyone who appears in the Gillian Keyes things. Yeah. who appears in the Gillian Keyes things. So it's, you know, Tim Butterly and McCusker and McKeever and, you know, O'Connor and Tommy Pope and all those guys. It's just the whole Philly crew. They have, Philly's churned out such a renaissance of like comedians that are so well liked. That's, I think, the biggest differentiator they just like these guys who came up in philly versus new york the philly crew is like they're all friends they're

all nice they're funny as hell and they they're well liked by everyone are they actually nice are they bullies and they're just yeah they're really nice they're really nice guys yeah dude shane came in and did a uh a case race with us and i think that he had uh a bad time i'm actually positive so he had a good time like he told me after he was like i had a blast he's like i didn't realize it went that bad he said he had a bad time afterwards i saw some clip about steven chay trying to fight him what the dude he was crazy why would he do that yeah well i would have that and i don't think that was a joke at all i thought it was a joke in the moment it was about Stephen Chay trying to fight him? What the fuck is that about? Dude, he was crazy. Why would he do that? Yeah, why would he do that? And I don't think that was a joke at all.

I thought it was a joke in the moment. It was. He was like, I was playing into my character on the show, dude. Was Stephen Chay drinking? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

So then probably wasn't a joke. Yeah, we don't need to dive too deep into this. This is a part of my life I'm trying to not think about ever again. What happened? Just a bad performance. And I checked, like, yesterday, it's got like half a million views on YouTube in like two weeks.

It'll hit a million and then it'll really pop. Francis should come in for a case race though. That'd be fun. You should. I thought about it. The next one's my birthday, so I think I get the invite. What's that? The next one's my birthday, October. Wow. Invite Francis.

I'm going to sit this one out you are you're just gonna be sitting front row from it dude it's gonna be hard to like get morale up to the point where people are gonna be like okay yeah like let's do this is a good idea to do this again no we need a buffer one yeah we all look terrible yeah like I don't want like came off so bad dude it's gonna

not I'm not to have the same excitement where I'm pumped to get fucked up. I never want to be that drunk again on camera ever. Yeah, it's shameful. But people want to do it, though. It's like, as an outsider, it would be fun to be in there just mixing it up, talking shit with the boys.

I'm trying to think. It's 24 beers, two people, right? Yeah, 12. God, I just don't know. I don't know what I'm capable of. Because you haven't pushed your body in that way. I've never, well, it's definitely the case that I've had more drinks than that,

but wasn't counting and didn't really know. But that's usually a long period of time. Probably in a longer, yeah, longer period of time. You've got to be on like acid or something. I was talking to my boy Mike this past weekend about it. And being on acid would be the true ped where you could just drink like a fish and not get more fucked up maybe you wouldn't just wouldn't notice and you'd be out of your mind that sounds like very worse yeah that's like a drink a lot on acid i think it's possible to just fucking pound beers on acid only one way to find out boys boys. How many did you have? Fewer than him.

Rowan, you had like maybe three. We really shouldn't do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this? Why is everyone so walking on eggshells about this case, Ray? Because it was a bad, it's a bad time. What do you mean? It was just so consensus that everybody, like each one of us took our lashings publicly in like a fucking terrible way.

Like each one of us felt so bad about what the internet was saying, but then like whoever was sitting next to you got it way worse. It was terrible. I got it the worst. Shane got it the second worst. Did anybody have a positive experience?

Did anyone come out? Will Compton. Will Compton kind of, but he like took his pants off when we saw that his dick, he was having a bad dick day. And so like, even if it was a good experience. But I think Will Compton just of, but he like took his pants off when we saw that his, his dick was, he was having a bad dick day. And so like, even if it was a good experience. But I think Will Compton just came off good because he like, wasn't being in, let me guess

that is coming off good because he wasn't being annoying. I thought about what, what, what I would do if I, if I were invited and I think my, my whole idea would just be to come in and just try to laugh. Cause I know people would try to, you you know get me to rise to the bait yeah because i'm a pretty easily uh baitable yeah i get i get i have i'm ruffled yeah i can ruffle pretty easily but this was like the the thing was the first one wasn't like this at all like there was no bad blood in the first one ah so it might have been some i got i got a bad feedback from that one but you're saying that you would just try to not. I would just, I would want to laugh.

I would just laugh whenever someone was like, I'm Francis. And I'd be like, that's funny. That'd be my whole goal. You should have. That would be the smart thing to do. And I want to see how long could I commit to actually staying with the game plan.

No, you would lose a game plan five years in. If you did this. Fuck you. If you did that on this last case race you would came out and be like dude francis is the fucking best yeah i love him yeah that's what i need no but you'd be six beers in you'd be like big cow why don't you say hi to me why do i have to call you by your fucking name yeah yeah yeah that's a cowboy call or tackle you to get your attention in public it was like seven dudes in a room like furiously drunk like angry damn yeah

as it as is i mean i guess that's what you're supposed to do i don't know that's what happens to the body when you drink like that yeah it's kind of fucking sweet it's kind of fucking fun but whatever it is i feel like this has kind of broken the seal and i i hope that you can come back and do more shit we saw large in the lobby and he was like, you know, come back and do some whatever they're planning. I don't want to spoil it if it's not mine to spoil. No, yeah. There's nothing, no secret really. Just, you know, I'm curious if they're going to let you release this episode.

Oh, they will. It'd be so much time that we had spent. It would kind of rule if they didn't. For nothing. And then we were like, fuck it, we'll Andrew Schultz it. Yeah, we're going to buy the episode. We're buying the episode back from the street. $50 to watch this episode.

I love that. It's going to be a ton of money for them to watch it. But dude, thank you for coming in. Oh, thank you guys. Drop the dates again. Come see me and Sass at St. Louis Helium July 28th to the 30th. Then we are in, I believe it's Jersey City

on August 4th. And we're in Red Bank, New Jersey where I was born August 10th. You were born in New Jersey? Yeah, I lived there until I was three or four. Damn. You can get tickets at FrancisEllis.com I would give Sass's website Yeah, that's where my family's from. You can get tickets at FrancisEllis.com. I would give his email.

I would give Sass's website. Yeah, mine's like fucking, I don't even know. Yeah, so just go to FrancisEllis.com. Combination of numbers and letters. Click on shows and you will. Tumblr.u7742. You'll find the ticket links there. How old were you when you met Harrison Ford?

I was nine. I think about the picture all the time. And I'm always like, will I be able to give my son a gift of meeting someone on Harrison Ford's level? Like, who's the Harrison Ford of the day and do I have enough access to him? Who would be my Harrison Ford that I could

let someone meet? It's hard to top. You have a picture of you and Drake. Yeah, but I'm saying I couldn't be like, hey, Drake, meet my nine-year-old son. I would think it would be like that. You wouldn't even meet his own. He doesn't even want to. Yeah, fuck. You stole that.

I was so close. So close. Let's fucking go fuck him, dude. You'd easily be a fucking stand-up. I had it, and I was so close. You should be in Philly with Francis. Yeah, you should. Go to Philly with Francis tonight.

But I hope to someday get my own Harrison Ford and a son that I could introduce them both to each other. Let's have some sons. We should have sons right back. Simultaneously. He wouldn't even meet his own. We can bring him to Solidcore. Yeah, yeah. And then I said, he wouldn't even meet his own.

Is that a Drake lyric? No, because Drake does abandon his kid. You on like air horns after it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll be dope. Love it. That'll be dope. Francis, appreciate you, bro.

Love you guys. Thank you so much. What a thrill. That was awesome. Fun. That was fun.