Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad Ep. 72 - LA Livin' (feat. Hollywood Tommy)

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

We are in LA this week and talked about Sas' weekend in St. Louis, day one in Los Angeles, Balkan food, JJ Redick's Uber, and much more. Hollywood Tommy and his regular ass sunglasses made an appearance as well to talk about the strangest massage story of all time. Nothing but good old fashion laughs with the fellas on this episode.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, guys? Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is August 1st. It is Monday, and we are out in the beautiful city of Los Angeles

City of Angels are we supposed to be looking at the camera? it's so unnatural this isn't your first this isn't your first podcast you know that you're just trying to be talking to me

I don't know why you're acting so awkward because not having something not having a microphone you don't hold your microphone on a normal podcast because it blocks out most of my face and then i don't have to face the camera yeah it is a little bit

more intimate yeah uh i got you right like i'm doing a talk show right now i know you're the host though so set me up bro i have nothing to say it's just like james corden this is weird what were you gonna say otherwise i don't know what do you what do you have to say i got you a book i got you a present yeah i know you already gave it to me i don't want it at all you didn't get you didn't get this what is it true stories of grifters killers rebels and crooks yes sir brother that's you i'm done with those things believe it or not so move on to the next topic this is a little gift for you to read on your plane bro no i have my kindle with me damn are you sure you can't just take the gift no i don't read on paper anymore

damn i feel like it's nostalgic it's a it's like a throwback the environment type thing right now you're not flying your private jet anymore look at crooks is under four foot ten does that mean that all crooks are 4'10"? Probably. They have little Napoleon complexes. That's why they get into crookery. Truth. That's why they go crooked.

Ain't that the truth? Son of a boy, Dad. Special fucking episode. We're in LA. Every special episode. We're out in Los Angeles, the City of Angels. We got fucking Mike, Joey, fucking Tyler in this bitch. It's just guys having fun.

Remind me your name again? Sean. And Sean, dude. And Sean. We got Sean on the ones and twos. Sean sat in a fucking taco today, dude. It was fucking sweet, dude. He put his full ass into a fucking plate of salsa, dude.

That shit was sweet. Sean's just crazy like that. Sean's always pulling wacky stunts, wacky bits. He's fucking unhinged. He's the kind of guy that's not afraid to sit on a taco for a couple laughs. He dumped a trash can out onto a homeless guy. It was fucking hilarious. We were just fucking around on Skid Row,

kicking the needles out of people's arms, dude. You need a wild card when you're eating tacos out in Compton los angeles but we're not in compton bro show some fucking respect hell we were that's simple hell we weren't dude that wasn't compton yeah i don't know you know one neighborhood i know one yeah i know one dude how was your time out in st louis bro thanks for asking me that, Ryan. St. Louis was very interesting. This feels like a talk show. I know.

How could you fix it? I feel like we shouldn't be sitting. Why don't you sit next to me then? Just switch to over here. No, no, no. This is fine. Do you want me to? Let me sit in that chair. It feels like I'm literally hosting.

You're my guest. I'm higher up than you. Because you can't deal with power dynamics of sitting higher and lower. Like, you need me to sit higher than you so you can feel in your face. Like, I'm going to pull out, like, your, like, an album coming out and face it to the camera and be like, so Rome, tell me about this. It was a crazy process.

It was immersive. We went to Joshua Tree. It was fucking incredible. So Rome, this new book that you did, tell us about that. Yeah, I really wanted to study a lot, so I went down to Gibraltar and spent some time in Djibouti. Why the fuck did you get this book? What is even in it? You haven't even cracked this book.

It's a fucking gift for you. Of course I didn't crack it. I bought it on the fucking way here. Stop buying shitty books at airports. Why? This is the best book that they had there. What do you want, Tom Clancy, bro? No, I don't want a book from the airport. where do you want a book from nowhere a fucking artisanal book no i will buy myself a book when i'm well and ready you're not fucking ready you used books last year you were into fucking reading and now you fucking giving that shit up i have my kindle

it's in my red bag you're way fucking stupider for it yeah probably you've been dumb as fuck recently but unfortunately successful as fuck which is just how it goes those are the breaks it is i'm killing the game i know everyone that's what everyone's saying people will dm me out of the blue and be like sass fucking crushed in st louis dude i'm killing the game bro yeah what the fuck we're calling me next up that's what i that's literally what i heard too people are saying it's pissing me off dude and for the people who are up right now it's pissing me off dude and for the people who are up right now that's just to get you i'm trying to get you to just jump start those

engines yeah what do i have to do bro put me on dude put me on my master class huh put me on what's the first what's 101 sass 101 it's gonna be grinding i know that's not it all the time francis said that you spent four hours watching NYPD Blue in the fucking hotel room. No, no, no. I was watching Chicago Fire. But Chicago Fire is the worst. Like, the Chicago ones are the worst versions of those shows. It goes Law and Order is the best.

Maybe NCIS. And then Blue Bloods, actually. Actually, I'll put Blue Bloods maybe at the top. Blue Bloods rules. So what do I got to do? I got to grind? Well, I grind at night. I'm like Batman or some shit. Oh, I watched put Blue Bloods maybe at the top. Blue Bloods rules. So what do I got to do? I got to grind? Well, I grind at night. I'm like Batman or some shit.

Oh, I watched the new Batman too. When? For the first time on the plane out here? No, I watched it when we got into St. Louis on Thursday. Are your ADDs acting up right now? Dude, tell me about one thing. Either tell me how to grind, tell me about fucking NYPD Blue, or fucking tell me about Batman. Well, I don't really have much to say about the show.

I mean, I watched this Chicago Fire show. I kind of already explained it to you. The guy, this kid, he injects himself with Ebola. And then he goes to the hospital with a grenade and kills himself and blows himself up over everybody. And then, like, it's like a two-hour special episode. And then at the end of the episode they're like he wasn't contagious guys and it was like so that was it dude why was this two hours long but why'd you watch it all because there's nothing else on tv there had to have been something else

on tv no there's nothing because like sometimes if you go to a hotel they also don't hey they just have the channel numbers and they don't tell you what channel you're watching or what is on the show so you're like what you're watching or what is on the show. So you're in a budget hotel. What you're watching. Well, yeah, we were in St. Louis. But St. Louis also rules. Might be the best city in the world.

I don't know. What's making you say that? It's just a great city. I went there. Me and Francis went to a bar on Saturday, and we played pool for five hours straight. And we got like four beers each and the beers were $3. That is kind of fucking wicked.

And the pool was 50 cents. That's also awesome. But I feel like you're trying to try and you're pushing the pool thing a little bit. Why? You're playing pool fucking at every turn, dude. We were playing pool in New York. You watch Boy's Dangerous Game Show. He's playing pool against literally every single person that comes into the house

you're playing against francis down and fucking whoops my 15 times there's no way dude is that true francis beat me three times and i beat him twice correct so that means i mean dude pool's pretty simple you just get better at better if you're older because you play more like if you're 10 years older than me and I'm beating you in pool like that means

you have something wrong with you dude the best pool players are like 100 years old because they just have lived the longest yeah exactly Francis beat me

a lot because he's older than you a lot yeah Francis so actually what happened was me and Francis

played on Friday night or no no no okay we played pool we played pool on Friday me and Francis played on Friday night. No, no. Okay. We played pool on Friday. Me and Francis played after the show because we had one show on Thursday and then two on Friday, two on Saturday. And we played Friday night after the shows and I destroyed him.

And then the next day he woke up and he was like, yo, we should play some pool today. Clearly being like, okay, I got to get my redemption. It was probably eating at him from inside. It was. that's definitely a francis move and then he smoked me he was probably sleeping fucking staring at the ceiling literally texting me at like 8 a.m i was like let's play some pool today you ready for some pool yeah i was like dude we got home like two hours ago just chalking up a stick at your door when you open it up in the morning we actually didn't drink much at all which was awesome because sometimes i drink way too much of those and then I'm like so hungover that I can't move.

But we actually had a pretty, like we played a lot of pool. We played golf, which was fun. We got some good food, went out to dinner a couple times. I feel like he's a good road partner. Yeah. And then he would always,

we'd go out after the show and he'd be like, all right, let's go. And we'd go home and I'd like go home and I'd feel great. Wake up in the morning, feel great.

He knows what he's doing. If I was there by myself, I would have stayed out until like six in the morning. You would have drove your body into the ground. Yeah. He actually should be

on the road life coach. Yeah, I mean, he basically is. Yeah. Yeah, I talked to him. He was like at the fucking four seasons in St. Louis eating halibut

at 11 in the morning. He like walked over to the, no, I think it was the Ritz-Carlton. He was at the Ritz-Carlton. He walked over to the Ritz-Carlton it was the Ritz-Carlton. He was at the Ritz-Carlton. He walked over to the Ritz-Carlton and got breakfast and it was like $100.

But he just wanted to eat something good. He's very like, he is like a health nut. Yeah. Like he's like, he can't eat, like I would,

I would literally just not eat the entire day and then I'd get the free chicken fingers at the club. Yeah, yeah, that's probably how, you know.

And he was like, we went out to like good ass dinners. You gotta keep it tight. That's what you gotta, you gotta figure out out to good-ass dinners. You got to keep it tight. That's what you got to figure out a way to keep it tight. I'm trying to keep it tight, dude. I'm trying to cut back on drinking. I'm getting so fat, and I'm just filled with rage.

That's what Mike said last night after you guys were doing ketamine with that deaf magician. I wasn't doing ketamine. I don't do ketamine. Mike was doing, I mean, a God knows what. Any type of powder they put in front of him, it was going in his nose. But you see how they're not denying the deaf magician, though, dude? The deaf magician was definitely there, and the ketamine was there, too. And Mike...

Mike did all of those things. Wow. Damn, dude. That's fucked up. See, people... I don't understand that people get really insecure when you bring up

their drug habit it's a real thing though what his drug habit or people getting no like anyone like oh if you say like someone did coke once

people are like whoa no I didn't so yes you did who cares dude just because you're straight edge doesn't mean you can

fucking kick people out of the closet like this I'll kick you out of the closet don't be shoving coke around in the middle of a packed club if you don't want people just because you're straight edge doesn't mean you can fucking kick people out of the closet like this. I'll kick you out of the closet. Don't be shoving coke around in the middle of a packed club if you don't want people to know you're doing it. Who are you talking about? Everybody. What do you mean, dude? Everyone.

Who's done that, dude? That's like a thing that people do. Maybe it's just like especially in this. No, just in front of you. They just want to dangle it in front of your fucking nose and see how weak you are. To see how quickly... It's crazy how many people do, like, hard drugs. Yeah. We want to see if you'll be like Drew Barrymore in the club doing fucking coke as, like, an

eight-year-old or whatever. Yeah, I don't do hard drugs, but I'm probably... What I do is probably worse for me than hard drugs. I should probably start doing hard drugs. You beg for them, though. They'll come out and be like, please, please, let me get just a little bumpski. And then all my friends are like, no, dude, you're not allowed you're not allowed three years on the stand-up circuit yeah he'll be doing his bump skis and all the people that do stand-up are like dead sober yeah because they fucking went

through rock bottom there they went through malibu rehab no i think they all just drank fuck ton doing stand-up and then they all were like oh probably just getting out of control yeah or they did too many bump skis well it's just hard because you're at a bar doing stand-up and then they all were like oh probably just getting out of control yeah or they did too many bumps well it's just hard because you're at a bar like stand-up clubs are bars yeah and if they're not it's fucked and like probably if they're not at a bar you're like oh this sucks yeah this is a stupid ass night it's hard to be like i've gone i've i've gone up like if i don't really go i don't really drink during the sets that i have during the weekdays and i'll go and i'm like at a bar. So like I need to have something in my hand. I'll drink like 15 club sodas.

Yeah, that's also a dependency type of thing. But I mean, you talk about how hard it is for you not to do stand up while you're drinking. Imagine how hard it would be for the fucking audience to laugh at you while they're sober, dude. No, I don't. I don't have a I don't really get drunk before my shows anymore. Anymore. That's what I mean. But you would like stop doing it.

Like imagine if the crowd had stopped doing it. Well, I had to stop doing it because it was making me worse. Yeah. Yeah. And the crowd would definitely be worse if they were sober. Oh, yeah, that's why clubs have two drink minimums. Exactly. You've got to end because nobody's buying.

They're going to come and just sit there or whatever. Yeah. Some kid at the show was like, one of the waiters kept on coming back and being like hey there's some kid out there who wants to give you guys like 500 to have a beer with you and we were like oh okay and then he was like the guy was like but he's cut off so he can't drink and then we were like never mind i'm not trying to hang out with some like belligerently drunk how long would it have been hanging out with him? Because if you're splitting 250, like even if it's for like fucking 10 minutes, like that's pretty good.

Pretty good rate. I would have done. I mean, I hang out with people like that can be annoying. That's the case race. Good example of that. Wasn't some dude going to fucking like skin you while you're on stage? I don't want to talk about that, though, because I don't want I feel bad. You don't want him to skin you?

I don't want to make fun of this person. But no, you wouldn't be making fun of them. You'd just be talking about how they want to talk about that, though, because I don't want... I feel bad. You don't want him to skin you? Yeah, I don't want to make fun of this person, but... Yeah, no, you wouldn't be making fun of him. You'd just be talking about how they wanted to skin you. He was just, like, a little too into me. Like, not, like, in that way. Just, like, was way too much of, like, I love Lil Sass. Isn't that what you want, dude? Isn't that literally the fucking emotion you're getting into?

It was, like, making me uncomfortable, but... Yeah, you want, dude? Isn't that literally the fucking emotion you're getting into? It was like, I'm being uncomfortable, but. Yeah, you want people to like you, but that's too much. I can explain it in detail, but I'm not going to because I don't want to put this kid on the fucking, like everyone who's at the show is going to know who I'm talking about. I don't want to put this kid on the fucking. It's more for him. He's definitely listening and he knows right now. Dear sis. Yeah, that's what I and he knows right now. Dear Seth.

Yeah, that's what I don't want, though. Yeah, well, I mean. Because he came out, he's like a nice guy. So he wasn't the guy who was belligerently drunk trying to pay $500. No, no, no, this guy. That's how I can tell you're on top, dude. People are fucking like climbing over each other to suck your cock off right now. No, but the guy that was drunk, I never even met the guy that was drunk. Dude, one of the waitresses at the at the club was like hammered and like we finished up our song friday

night after our two shows and she comes back and she's like are you guys ready and we were like for what just like to meet my friends you're like what the fuck are you talking about it's like no we're not ready to meet your friends and then like, like, apparently she was, like, heckling Francis while he was on stage. Being like, come fuck my friends. Yeah, and she, like, flipped him off because she was, like, front row taking people's orders, just talking in full volume. Yeah, I feel like being a waitress at a comedy club can't be, uh, that can't be, like, you have to know how to act. Like, you can't just be. You can't be having full conversations.

I feel like they know. I feel like they're just used to it. It's probably not... No, that was the first time I've ever seen that in my entire life. Despicable, dude. Fuck this lady. You're not afraid to put her on blast. No, I mean, she sucked.

Yeah. Yeah, dude, fuck that lady. Fuck that bitch. Dude, we're... Light that bitch up, dude. keep fucking getting away with it as you just hear the fucking footsteps going past our doors imagine just hearing our dumb ass fucking podcast i get self-conscious coming to la to film stuff because i just know so many people out here just filming stuff because like oh what are you filming us for we're like oh it's a little show would you go to

a little neighbor's and they're like oh david dobrik was here last night yeah with literally the cast of the avengers we were just on netflix trying tacos yeah the k-pop fucking like black pink was here yeah dude i don't know la's it's tough i always get a little it's not for me yeah i don't love it yeah me neither it didn't do anything to me but there's just a stigma of like the people that are here. Everyone here is like frauds. Yeah. It's not everyone, but there's a lot of people here who are frauds. Yeah.

Everyone pretty much. I mean, when we were at that club last night, I mean, how many dudes there were like, were you just rubbing, they were rubbing me the wrong way? Oh my God. Every single one. Yeah. Oh. What were they saying? We're frauds. How are they rubbing you the wrong way. Oh, my God. Every single one? Yeah. Oh. What were they saying?

We were frauds. How were they rubbing you the wrong way? Yeah, just their way. They were saying, dude, we love little Sasquatch. No, they weren't. Shut the fuck up. They're like trying to give him $500. He's like, who are these fucking kids?

Oh, dear. It's just like, it was like a hostage. It was like, some people are just hostile. Like, you can kind of walk around. You can kind of get the energy. Like, oh, these people are all like,'m stumped i'm the best it's a hostility that comes from a self-conscious yeah you are no i know that's why i flipped it because it is a self-conscious thing but no but they're self-conscious and i'm so am i they're deep self-conscious but like they walk like i

don't know i just like i pulled up i was fucking. And there's like all these dudes. Yeah, I know I was. Well, that was at the end. I mean, I told you I didn't want to go in the beginning. You made me go. Correct. I didn't want to go to the club because I had just had a 15-hour day of traveling. God forbid.

And then I pull up. I pull up and Mike's like, Mike's like, yo, Mike's like, yo, we're going to go party with Haley Bieber. And I was like, dude, I don't have it in me for this right now. He's sitting in the corner of the club just like, they don't even know I have 400,000 followers. No, it was not that at all. It was like, I want to go home and sleep. That was like Tommy. I mean, Tommy's a wild card.

Yeah, Tommy came in looking like the biggest fucking L.A. idiot today. Tommy bought, like, the most generically normal pair of sunglasses. Just Ray-Bans. And somehow we convinced him that he was, like, a psychopath for buying them. He was like, they really look this bad? We're like, dude, they're just normal-ass sunglasses. And it was the easiest. It was, like, one joke. And he was like, dude, I shouldn't have fucking bought these.

His knees touching each other and shit all self-consciously. Also, Tommy's walking around like he got, like, fucked aggressively in the ass. He's walking around, like, swinging... What do you mean? Swinging his right leg around,

limping so aggressively, and it's like... He's like, I slipped on sludge. I slipped on sludge in New York. Rowan just dropped some very personal information about Tommy's family.

I said their house is $600,000. I did look up his house on Zillow. $600,000. Did you really? Yeah. That's such a weird move, but I've definitely done that before too. Every person's house I ever go to, like, how rich are you?

How much did you spend on this house? It's crazy that it's just all public record. You can just know how much everybody's house is at house it's crazy that it's just all public record you can just know how much everybody's house is at all times it is crazy or like the last time this house sold it

it went for this much so I know exactly what tax bracket Tommy's parents are in I know what they probably fucking eat for dinner every night they probably do

you're like that yeah dude you're like that too talk about Atlantic City oh dude Atlantic City's trash, dude. It's one of the grossest places on earth.

Have you ever been? I have not, but I know there's a lot of gambling there, right? In Philadelphia, the last that I saw a bag of heroin, and it's probably changed, but bags of heroin in Philly were $6. And in Atlantic City, I think they're $3. I don't understand. How do you know this? I think that you could just find it out yeah like a gas station no they have the outlets they're just hanging out it's

just the heroin outlets right next to the nike store you can just get fucking heroin and do that the only way you could possibly know that it's if you were buying heroin and the deals are you can't afford not to buy i thought you were gonna say something about like the color of like you saw a bag of heroin on the street. Like was there like a price tag on it? Yeah, like a fucking

big ass return label on it in case the heroin's no good. You just fucking bring it back. But Atlantic City is just disgusting. You can't get a hotel in the entire city and the entire city's hotels.

But the whole city's empty. Because everyone's going there to do the casinos, right? But not even though. Because some of the hotels aren't casinos and like all the casinos are booked out But not even though, because some of the hotels aren't casinos and like all the casinos are booked out.

It doesn't make any sense. But then the boardwalk's fucking packed. Sex trafficking. I really think that could be it. Yeah, yeah.

Remember what was happening in Philly? Yes. When we were in Philly and you couldn't get a hotel and they were like, sorry guys, the whole city of

Philadelphia is booked actually. And that's probably Really? Really? The whole city. Every single room is booked actually and that's probably really really the whole city every single room is booked and they were trying to get us something in the atlantic city dude yeah yeah it's probably like the trans state sex trafficking fucking wagon that they have going they just got one yeah they're just going back and forth but i saw i saw a sticker in the bathroom

at the airport yesterday it just said stop human trafficking like thanks that'll help a guy's gonna have a come to jesus moment like staring at it and just let a girl's hand go i'm gonna do with that yeah do they have that same sticker in the girl's bathroom or no no women just say stop getting human traffic they got one for each bathroom victim shaving yeah victim blaming your shit together yeah if you're wearing a size six skinny jeans there's a reason you're getting human traffic get it together damn dude yeah it doesn't make a lot of sense you don't really think that a human trafficker is going to come to have like a come to light moment what do you think most types of human

traffic is going on is it like in taken where they got like a 16 year old girl addicted to fucking drugs and she's on a drip or they catch like a six-year-old and fucking like like bringing them along before they know what's even going on think about it i have no idea i i know like what is it it's like north carolina like one of like the biggest human trafficking places in massachusetts there's grocery stores yeah they always they just go to grocery stores for sale no they like they like there's like there's like tactics that they use but then people yeah they're trying to get nick people like overthink it now like they're i mean that's probably wrong to say but it's true

they'll be like oh there was a tennis ball under my car like that means that the person wanted me to grab the tennis ball and then they were going to grab me. It was like, maybe a tennis ball just rolled under your car. Just rolled underneath it, yeah. Fucking cut the leashes, folks. But there's all, there's like all different, like, oh, like if your window wipers are up, you're getting trafficked. Oh, really? I've seen those, like, TikToks where you're supposed to have, like, the sign behind your back or whatever.

You know what I'm talking about? Like, a hand, like, some kind of hand signal or something like that. You've never seen those? No, never even heard of that. It was, like, a big, you know, like, the, like, it was happening, like, a lot of Indian dudes or, like, Asian dudes would do, like, Valor TikToks or whatever where they, like, save save someone from like like an old lady from like getting hit by a motorcycle or something no i know alex jones did that though didn't alex jones like stop human trafficking i think it was i don't know if it was fake or not i'm assuming it was but there's like a van and alex jones like gets like in front of the van and like pulls like 30

kids out of it he staged it just so he could free them yeah i mean that's the side of alex jones people don't want you to see yeah honestly he's a fucking hero he's just randomly doing i'm pretty sure i'm not making this up i'm pretty sure that's a real thing dude you know the basketball player jj reddick there's like a story that like he was in an uber and there was like a like he saw like a body in the back seat like a moving like tiny human body and he had he made the uber driver like let him out on the side of the of the highway or whatever but he didn't like do anything to stop it and he didn't get the like number of the uber driver or like he didn't get the license plate that's ridiculous he couldn't be true he that's he like told the story tyler have you not heard

the story he like tells the story like fucking you could go onto your uber app and be like oh this was the guy's license plate for whatever whatever reason, like, he's... And this is a picture of his face. Just use it for content on the pot. Yeah, he went right... He went... He was on part of my takes, like, that day or something like that. Like, he... Oh, dude, he...

There was a script. That was a sketch. He said he saw a girl in a cage in the back. Yes, there was a girl in a cage in the back. I'm not lying, but... There's just no way. No, 100%. The super driver is like...

The super driver kidnaps someone. He's like, all right, I'm gonna... Let's try and make a couple quick bucks before I bring you. Look it up. He was like a person in the backseat. He tells a story so distinctly. And he like, I mean, I could just make up a story like that and tell it very distinctly as well. Do it.

Well, what would be your benefit? You guys have to be making up. You guys have to be missing some key points of this story. He actually came under fire for not doing anything about it. And then everybody forgot. It starts with, this is non-fiction. I did not make this up. That was the headline.

Man, fucking debunk, bitch. This is non-fiction. I did not make this up. You thought that he made it up because he hadn't said that it was non-fiction at that point. So he got into an Uber, looks to like the left of him and there's just a girl in like a dog crate and then he's like him and his wife yes and then they were like all right let's get a different uber and they're just like can you just let us out here and they're like all

right and that was it and then what did it register to him did it register to him like 30 minutes later well what no it registered right away that's why he wanted to get out. But he was like, I mean, I bet he didn't want to get trafficked. Well, this guy's driver like forget. He thought it was a robbery. So he just wanted to get his family out, apparently. Or so he says. He didn't see the kid. He just saw Blaine's in a moving body in the cage.

According to CBS. Human trafficking is not always top of mind, too. So you don't really know. You don't know what it is going through. So are you sure that it's just something that people fucking can just let go of and that they're taking too seriously? Me? Yeah, you just said that. No, no, no.

You just said fucking cut the leash. You were saying it, dude. I didn't say that. You said that. Run back the fucking pitch. You said, those are your exact words where we have to cut the leash. Because I was fucking playing on what you said, dude. I was fucking building on what you had fucking said.

You said it's not that big of a, you said it's overblown. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No. You did. No. Yes, dude. I would never say that.

That fucking sounds like something a human trafficker would say. No, I wasn't blaming it on anybody. I said they're asking for it. I was blaming it on the the human traffickers yeah right dude you're gonna write a memoir like if i fucking did it dude like quigs were you there for that what like i'm pretty sure i could kill a lot of people get away with it yeah i mean i feel him dude yeah he couldn't yeah he could he definitely could anybody that's like

pretty smart can definitely kill because the people who wind up doing the killing he was really smart and they got him but he just kept on going

dude didn't Ted Kaczynski only kill like two people but he sent so many bombs out yeah and they all sucked but I'm saying if he had just sent one bomb out

he could have got away with it but he left a paper trail he would spend like 15 years planning out one bomb and he would send out, and it would like graze someone's fingertip. And everyone was like, this guy's a fucking genius. Bombs are also way harder. Yeah, bombs are harder than me. There's way easier ways to kill people than bombs.

Oh, you must know. You'd have to build a bomb. I don't think it's that hard. How would you even start, dude? I would Google how to build a bomb. And you'd be able to watch this like that. I would go to the private tab on Safari. How to build a bomb.

How the fuck does he keep getting away with it? He must be on private. That's like something that we would have an ad for, for sure. Private. Some like proxy vpn are you guys looking to hide your search history you want to build a use code son tired of the fbi in the back while you're trying to human traffic i'm like we'll have an ad for that in the next year for sure. They don't fucking buy in hard enough.

We got to suck off Alex Jones a little bit more. And it is good if you've really fucking unleashed a full fucking bus full of human traffic kids. If you just like slid up the back of an 18 wheeler and a bunch of human traffic kids came running out. I saw a video of Alex Jones the other day where he's like, you guys saw this on Reddit. video of alex jones the other day where he's like if you guys saw this on reddit he's talking to someone who's like a democrat politician alex jones shows up wearing like with a shirt with bill clinton's face on it just says rape on it have you seen this i don't think i have it's wild good shirt yeah i mean imagine wearing that who made that shirt probably jones himself i don't think he bought it in the fucking stores.

I don't know. I feel like I've seen a lot. I think it's because I've been on Reddit a lot. I think I'm slowly getting turned on. Like, all the Alex Jones stuff is coming up on mine. What Reddits are you going on to? R slash interesting as fuck. R slash next fucking level.

R slash Barstool Sports. R slash it's the Yak. r slash Son of a Boy Dad. r slash Son of a Boy Dad NSFW. Just fucking reporting people's comments. r slash NSFW Sass. Just finding pictures of you with your nipples showing and fucking downvoting them into oblivion for burners.

Doing ketamine. Yeah. R slash. Ketamine's actually whack as fuck. R slash K-hole. You're just protesting too much. You're actually the biggest ketamine fiend in all of the universe. It's actually, dude, Reddit rules.

I could look up this book. I could look up R slash Patrick Raden Keefe, and there would be like 300,000 people having a conversation about this book. Yeah, it's that good of a book. That's why I got it for you. I guess it just makes me feel like I belong. Yeah. Even without even having to read the book. Oh, yeah.

Why, you just refuse to read any book? Yeah. You're off of aviation, huh? Old habits die hard. Old read any book. Yeah. You're off of aviation, huh? Old habits die hard. Old habits die hard. Yeah. Well, I think it's because now I actually have a hobby. Stand up.

Yeah, I'm like actually doing something. Yeah, you were just inside for a while. Before I was just laying in bed for like 14 hours a day. Now it's just like seven hours a day. No, I'm out and about, bro. I'm out and about. What did you do all day every day in st louis i told you we did shit the entire time did you yeah i mean we played golf one day

it'd be like 18 holes the way it sounded you uh laid in bed a lot yeah that's not true i laid in bed the day we got there because i was tired from flying and our shows were in like three hours fair enough and then the next day we me and francis went out we got an amazing meal forget what the food balkan balkan food what the fuck is balkan food is that what it's called balkans is like uh white people isn't like uh that's where like uh luca donchik is from the bans. I think it was Balkan food. Fucking. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. What is Balkan food? Mountain food? I think it's, like, Turkish. Didn't you eat it?

Yeah, dude, it was fucking good. What'd you get? I don't know, dude. We got a bunch of shit. Also, Francis orders so much food and eats all of it. Because he's a hobster. Dude, we ordered, like, 15 meals. We went out, just being him we got like this like sausage thing with like bread like stone fire cooked bread

wrapped in it and you like dip the sausages in the sauce there's some onions on it amazing then we got like a pizza and then frank's got like these two like big ass burrito things and a salad damn then we had a couple balkan loggers you need to fuck Like, these two, like, big-ass burrito things and a salad. Damn. Then we had a couple Balkan lagers. You need to fucking... In St. Louis? St. Louis is the Balkan headquarters. Dude, it was good.

It was Balkan season. It was good. It's called Balkan. It is. Do you not believe me? I do. I know what the Balkans are. They're mountains.

But it was really good. And then we went and we played pool for, like, five hours. Dude, I think that Francis balkans are. They're in mountains. But it was really good. And then we went and we played pool for like five hours. Dude, I think that Francis works out a bunch. And so that makes him have a good ass appetite. I think that when you're on the road with him, you got to just get on his fucking workout regimen. Just I feel like you had a good, healthy, fucking healthy for the mind weekend with him. You were doing activities. You were out of your hotel room, out of your masturbation dungeon.

You're fucking stretching your legs, dude. You were enjoying yourself. You were out of your hotel room, out of your masturbation dungeon. You're fucking stretching your legs, dude. You were enjoying yourself. I quit masturbating. I know that's not true, dude. I smell you. I quit masturbating. I quit ketamine. Fresh cum.

I quit ketamine. And I quit Coke, too. There's no way you quit the ketamine. I'm back on the Mamitas heavy Hell yes bro Mamitas It's better than ketamine

Shout out to Fucking Mamitas dude The fucking goats Should we Should we invite Tommy's bitch ass up Get Tommy's bitch ass up here We also can talk.

I'll do an ad. We'll talk about BetterHelp. You want to text Mike? Can you text Tommy? Or Tyler, you can text him. BetterHelp. How well would you take care of a car if you had to keep the same one for your entire life? That's how our brains work.

So why don't you treat them that way? life. That's how our brains work. So why don't you treat them that way? How we care for our minds affects how we experience life. Facts. So it's important to invest time and care into keeping them healthy. Facts. It's much... Are you dumb? BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat-only therapy sessions, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash sun. That's betterhelp.com slash sun. That is betterhelp.com slash sun that is better help.com slash sun go get better help and get your mind right better help we'll hook you the fuck up you don't even have to go

to in-person therapy sessions if you're on the road like my boy sass and fucking st louis or providence providence this weekend i got Providence coming up this weekend. And then I got Atlanta the weekend after that. So if you're in Providence, if you're in Atlanta, you can get your therapy from wherever the fuck you're at with better help. They'll get you an online therapist. Don't even have to show your face, dude. So they won't know if you're getting fat. They'll just have to kind of take your word for it.

And you can tell them. But you can also just angle the camera at a specific angle. We'll see you guys after the break. Pretty good clap. Tommy, I got you a book. Thank you. What is it about? Read the cover.

Rogus. True stories of grifters, killers, rebels, and crooks. Patrick, Brad, and Keefe. All of her say nothing at Empire of Pain, of course. That's you. I'm the Empire of Pain. You're already bombing. You're already

ruining the show. He asked me to read the cover of a book. I had a whole opening set planned, and then I got thrown off. That was a bit. You got bitted. Damn, I got son of a boy doubted. whole opening set planned and then i got thrown off a bit you got you got got you got baited damn i got son of a boy doubted we do a lot of bits we do a lot of we do a lot of twists on this show we're not the typical podcast i'll be honest i didn't know that we were definitely recording when roan said tell me i got you a book i thought that might have been a pre-record that was just a little bit of schtick.

Wow, what was your opening bit that you had planned? No, I didn't have anything planned, actually. I was hoping you guys would sort it out. I wasn't unprepared. I thought you were unprepared. The thing about Son of a Boy, Dad, is you guys are riff gods. So, you know, I was just here to riff it up with whatever topics come my way. Yeah, what's been on your mind?

Philosophy? The existence of the Almighty? It has. I've been... Talk to us about your love life, Tommy. You seen anybody? What is this, Mean Girl Pod or Son of a Boy Dad? Mean Girl Pod. We're trying to follow

the blueprint. It's a tried and true successful... What type of pussy are you wrapping around your dick? I go into as much detail of the pussy as you can. I was saying the other day with Carolyn, I like the slit and the flaps. I like the slit and the flaps. Bro, why'd you just touch me when you said that?

I like the slit and the flaps of a pussy. Oh, bro. Wait, so which one of Joey was talking about on the yak about one of Jeff Love's friends? Yeah, so let's do a run

down. We actually got, our producer gave us a list of every girl you've ever made love to. Oh boy. All 172? We're going to run down the list and talk about each of them. Great. Are they already here?

We're starting with your tallest. A couple of them will be making a few guesses. Yeah, I got a few LA bitches out here. He was fucking two WNBA players simultaneously. Her height. Stop touching my leg. I'm doing this for dramatic effect, to show emotion, to show animation. Do you like sitting in that chair, or do you hate it?

I haven't decided. I like it. It's uncomfortable, isn't it? We're recording a podcast with no background. Yes, it does feel like that's why I don't really feel like we're recording a podcast. But that's the beauty of a podcast, is it's just the boys chatting. Stanislavski. This is just boys having fun.

Right. We don't even need to put this out. That's why I was using all the profane vagina words. Because I was trying to have a social indicator that we're just boys having fun. That's usually what we talk about when we're not recording. Yeah, exactly. Well, me and Rowan do. You, not so much.

What do we talk about? We riff a lot. We always talk about buttholes. No, I'm literally not gay. I'm not. And cock flavor, too. We always talk about buttholes. No, I'm literally not gay. I'm not. And cock flavor, too. We always talk about cocks and butts. That's just not my thing.

Like I said, I'm a vagina guy. I love freshly shaved pussy. It's cocks and butts. Let's get to the real material. All right, so I got some questions. Yeah, hit me. Number one, are you gay? No. Seriously, no. Yeah, hit me. Number one, are you gay? No.

Seriously, no. Like, cut that. I don't even want people to think that. Well, I don't want people to even think that. Because the second question was, why are you always talking about cocks and butts? Just my own cock and my own butt. No, no, no, no. I'm not really a bathroom humor guy.

So I'd prefer if we could pivot from the all the cocks and butt stalks to be honest well the one thing that we have in common is that we both like to use alex cooper's name for clicks uh what do you have that yeah we do that all the time on this show we do well i thought you meant you specifically yeah i mean i technically never used her name for clicks i kind of just did my own thing and that happened to be pretty similar to hers. Really? Yeah. How about your relationship with Alex? I don't know. Text maybe twice a month.

Have you ever made love to Alex? Not to Alex Cooper. Or anyone named Alex. Let's talk about Alex. There he lies in a row. How old is Alex? I've never made Does he go by anything else?

I only hook up with girls His name can also be a guy name A lot of Jamie's A lot of Dana's A lot of Pat's A lot of Derek's Is Dana a girl's name? Mostly a girl's name

He's thinking of Dana that we work with. You don't remember entering Dana back in the... Are you even a fucking stoolie, bro? He's probably not. No. No. Not quite. Dude, what, uh, where'd you get those sunglasses that Seth's wearing to make fun of you? Uh, I got those at a sunglass hut. Only

$211. Because I thought they would be funny. You bought it all for a character. Explain the character. Yeah, so the character is Hollywood Tommy. Uh, thought they would be funny. You bought it all for a character. Explain the character. The character is Hollywood Tommy. H.T. for short. Hollywood Tommy, it's just where he's really most at home. He's out here in the City of Angels.

He's vegan. He's in ketosis. He doesn't like how the industry just makes a lot of bang bang superhero movies. You want more character driven shit. Right. It's like none of my indie films are getting fucking picked up. But like we have Thor and the Hulk fighting for a billionth time like that. That's sort of like I'm just angry at the Marvel's killing modern movies.

Right. And in reality, none of my shit's really just that good. I'm just not that talented. But I tell myself it's because all of these more successful things are, you know, they're just appeasing the man. Damn, dude. That's probably his close to home with everybody else that lives here. And I like iced matcha lattes also. I think that that's a little bit of an old reference.

Even avocado toast you're throwing around a little bit. That's a little bit old, dude. I think being vegan and being in ketosis is funny. But I think if you talk about like Balkan food, I think that might play better. What's your experience with Balkan food? balkan balkan or balkan balkan balkan balkan like russian and shit yeah yeah uh not much russian and shit i mean i thought have i had a pierogi they're polish yeah pierogis are polish yeah i don't think i've had a pierogi uh but i've had pastrami that's well that's jewish yeah i don't know if that's

so what do you think about the jews i was born to be jewish it's it's like such a waste that i'm not jewish it's crazy i might come for i think i have to marry he's looking for new members i have to marry a jewish woman just so that i can raise a child. Are you guys actually? I feel like it's super hard to get in. What? 70, 73%. I always knew there was something I didn't like about you. Never could put my finger on it. Self-loathing, probably.

Very fine. No. You're way more Jewish presenting than he is. I can't wait to break these Ray-Bans. No, come on. Seriously. Well, I actually got a warranty on them. It's actually a pretty good deal.

So it's a 13-month warranty. Oh, so you can break them? Well, no. I have to pay $. It's actually a pretty good deal. It's a 13-month warranty. Oh, so you can break them? Well, no. I have to pay $40. I have to pay $40. But I could bring them back. We can give you $40 to break them. No, no, no.

I like those too much. No, I'm going to keep them though. No, they'll come back to me. They've got to go back to me. They've got to go back to HT. So we went to Second Abdelian we met that really Jewish owner guy what makes you

what defines you? I think owning a pastrami shop makes you super Jewish. When you say like oh this is a super Jewish guy explain him to me he was actually really normal he had like just a tucked in like button down shirt yeah and being Jewish is super normal yeah but it seems like you...

There's some kind of identifying... He owned a fucking pastrami deli. What is so Jewish? Owning that. Well, what if he was... Did you ask him if he was Jewish? What you should have said is being kosher, because he's kosher.

Yeah, he's kosher. But anyway, a week ago, I went to the Schwitz, the Wall street bath and spa down in fida i got a schvitz a nice steam room when he was there and they're just like hebrew written all over the walls and then that night i ordered pastrami for dinner and i was like i was born to be jewish yeah you really could have done it i didn't like pastrami at all really i thought it was so good i just ordered it the other day it was 44 dollars on cash you didn't no dude it tastes like you're eating a fucking

grosser version of a hot oh no it's nice and moist you probably didn't get the extra lean cut i did dude i gotta ask you about the schmitz is that our dudes uh mike uh jerking off in there yeah no pretty sure i mean not that i've seen we were at uh the firehouse this past week in uh canarsie uh that my my buddy spuds firehouse and like rudy and uh and from warm up and rico no spud from my boy from college um and uh they're like huh it's a keep up sauce it's a boy from college they're talking about saunas in there and rudy was like around a bunch of like firefighters he was he was like yeah last time i went to a sauna a dude jerked off at me yeah he was told me that story too but i think that was like an equinox yeah rudy got which is an equinox is gayer than

like a regular rudy got gang gang ck they circled him like a ritualistic – Just tag dudes jerking off. Like a crop circle. They were fucking just pounding off to him, dude. That is – I mean, it is terrifying. I guess that's one of the downfalls of being a hot dude. That doesn't happen at the Schvitz. It doesn't happen at the Schvitz? That doesn't happen at the Schvitz. I don't understand why so many people like to go to the Schvitz.

The Schvitz is mainly old Jewish guys. We're not there to jerk off. We don't do that type of shit at the Schvitz wait wait so what is the Schvitz so the Schvitz is it's a hot room

with a sauna am I allowed to do this accent yeah I'm Jewish looking enough I'm Jewish and I'm giving you and that's like a Russian Jew accent the Schvitz is

no this I'll give you a second the Schvitz is Jewish I'm 70% Jewish and I'm giving you the room you sit down in the Schvitz and it's really hot it's like sauna

the J-Pass it's sauna hot but when you the j-pass it's sauna hot but when you get too hot you get a bucket of cold water and you dump it over your head and that sensation from the instant really hot to the instant really cold only at the schvitz is that is it that nice of a and then when you jerk off you jerk off when you get home thinking about all the dudes you saw in there like a big bath house like a big bathhouse? Yeah, so you start off in the sauna. A classic Joe Rogan in his house sauna. Is this the place where you and Nick and stuff go? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've only been there twice. Are you guys ass naked or underneath your towel? No, I wear a bathing suit. A bathing suit? I don't think you should be ass naked. Are you allowed to wear a shirt? It'd be weird if you did. I don't.

I'm not proud of my body at all. There's a cold tub. There's a really hot room. And then, like, this guy says he takes girls on dates there. Like, this girl was just laying down. He was, like, banging her with leaves and shit for, like, a leaf treatment. So if you ever want to take a girl there. Who?

I want a new girlfriend. Yeah. Like, people do. Wait, so what does a girl wear if a guy's just wearing a towel around his waist? A bikini? Yeah, maybe a bra and a th so what does a girl wear if a guy's just wearing a towel around his waist? A bikini? Yeah, maybe a bra and a thong. Maybe not a thong. That's why you're going home so fast.

Oh, yeah. And then, mmm. They serve alcohol there, right? Yeah, they serve alcohol. So it's $50. You stay there as long as you want, or $60. And then you can add on maybe a nice bowl of matzo soup. Maybe right before the schvitz.

Maybe you get a beer. Uh, it's lovely. No, it's real Jewish. It's, it's like Russian, Turkish,

Jewish. Yeah. Oh, Balkan. Well, dare I say Balkan is Turkish. I believe it's damn near Balkan. It's damn near.

Uh, yeah, I don't know. That shit sounds like it might be, it kind of sounds nice, but like, I never, I never really got the pleasure from like

saunas and like sweating and shit like that. Or like people are like, Oh, like I'm going to go get my like blowed out or like get like lean or whatever. I don't really think a lot of that stuff works as well as people think it does. The thing about the shvits is when you leave, it feels like, I don't think you say it like that. I don't think that's how you're supposed to say it. I think it's like a shvits, a shvits. No, you're not Jewish. Please don't cultural appropriate say it like that i don't think that's how you're supposed to say the shit i think it's like a schvitz a schvitz no you're not jewish you please don't cultural

appropriate i think i could appropriate please don't appropriate the culture that i'm appropriated like a schvitz uh it makes you feel like you had a workout like your heart's beating so fast you leave you just feel rejuvenated fresh one with jesus really or whatever they got yeah well uh i feel like if it's gonna if you're gonna pay 60 bucks you might as well get someone to jerk off to you i feel like it's kind of insulting you guys ever get a rub and tuck no no never even considered it to be honest i've i've looked like i've always i heard that there's some like there's some like there's like a footprint on the outside of it or something like or a handprint something weird there's like little signs where you can be like oh that's a rub and tug i uh was afraid i

was at a gay rub and tug there's one right by our office where it's like exactly where i was because there's a rain it's like massage and then there's a rainbow flag next to it yeah i didn't like i called on the phone because whenever i get a massage and they'll be like do you want a male or female masseuse i always do the same thing i'm like ah it doesn't matter but i guess a female but i guess a female because i don't want to feel like an overeager like creep like give me the female but i prefer a female of course and they didn't ask that on the phone that's when i knew i was in trouble and then i got there they didn't even give me the option and they were like uh and they were like you need to add something to the massage like a full body scrub or like a facial i don't want a facial so i'm gonna get a full body scrub and then i

why do you do why are you this was uh it was the sunday so this was the day kobe died actually it was the sunday before you're the cope it was the sunday through it between that while you're getting jerked no i swear to god i was i was getting a facial i was a block away and my friend typed in kobe dot i was like do i cancel like is it something i cancel my massage over like it's kobe dying but i decided it wasn't enough for me to cancel my massage yeah uh and then like it was just like five four brazilian dude were you thinking about it while you're in the mix yeah i tried to like because it was awkward like he was like were you thinking about kobe yeah i brought it up to, like, because it was awkward. Like, he was like rubbing... No, I'm saying, were you thinking about Kobe? Yeah, I brought it up to him. Like, I brought it up to the guy.

I was like, you hear like this cold news? He's like rubbing your dick and you're like... Yeah, he was like rubbing... Speaking of mambas. He was rubbing my bare ass cheeks and I was like,

you hear this Kobe news? Was he actually? Yes. Dude, what the fuck, Tommy? I got there. I got... It was actually... This is a wild, like, thing.

I got in the jacuzzi and it was lovely. The jacuzzi was lovely. They gave me wine. Did they drink you off? No, no. But they gave you wine in the jacuzzi? Yes.

Did they give you love your bare ass cheeks? Yeah. So I got in first. I got in the jacuzzi and it was lovely. They were like giving me wine and chocolates and like fruits and stuff. And I was like, this is, I was like, I felt like a, like a divorced woman. Because they were getting, they were prepping you to fuck. I felt great.

And then he was like, he came in and he was like, all right, now like get up. They're giving me poppers. He was like, now go sit face down on the table. And I was like, all right,

like, are you going to get out of the room? Like, well, I walk over there and he was like, no, I just got up like naked. I just walked up to the table,

like bare ass cheeks in the air. And it turns out that's what the full body scrub was is he was just rubbing my ass cheeks my full body down and it was it was very uncomfortable and i was like i was like you know at some point you could have been like i'm good right well the thing is it felt amazing the thing is it felt better than i've ever felt with a woman but uh no and i was like i was like i was like hey you hear this kobe news and he was like no what happened i was like died in a helicopter crash he was like oh my god that's a friend of yours wrong crowd wrong crowd for the kobe news um but yeah it was uh it was a

robert tugging option i don't think so i mean i didn't ask but so he was in a room and he was across the room and you were in the hot tub and he just watched you no no i had to wear over yeah yeah he watched me so i had the hot tub for myself for a while but then he watched me go from hot tub to table just and i like covered my dick because i didn't want him to see it how'd you walk like that probably very meek very meekly i feel like that probably fucking ruined if that was probably more insulting for him yeah i don't i don't i just want to see my jerk this and i remember like this was i gotta give i gotta come out of a shell this is when i was in like my gym phase where i was going to the gym a lot so like the whole time i was like kind of hoping

he'd compliment my muscles a little bit be like oh like you're strong he didn't say anything about it though you were like hoping that he would secretly get hard i was hoping he'd be like attracted to me anytime i meet a gay guy i try to turn him on let's explore your sexuality a little bit just to know that i can yeah yeah has it worked ever flight attendant yesterday seemed to be really into me even the guy next to me was like I think the flight attendant

like is into you where were you hitting him with I was he was like I think it was just my vibe he just like was vibing with me did you give him like a juice joke or something like that

juice joke juice probably thinking that a flight attendant likes you is like thinking like a stripper like date a stripper yeah but it's their job

is to make them make you think that they like but it's like they're supposed to sexually arouse you yes yeah so is the flight true d5 spirit it's the only way no even today dude even delta dude those those guys fucking they get ass hurt you think ronald bump was up to first class on the flight home for our ride i got a better seat yeah we made sure the sass had a good seat i got comfort plus i used your car yeah yeah we wanted to make sure that you got a good ass seat no i actually did this that's fine it was 12 to get a better seat it already was 30 but you could have really ramped it up well i was like why the fuck am i

sitting like 40d yeah i was like what the hell am i sitting like 40D? Yeah. I was like, what the hell am I doing? Like, it's 20 bucks on the company's card to sit like in a... It's a fucking corporation. Well, I mean, it's 30 bucks. Sass is definitely going to get fired for that. Wow, so Sass can't sit 40D? No, I can sit 40D. Sass isn't a company, man man maybe if you tweeted out a few more

links then maybe you'd get to sit top 20 rows is that a sneak diss that was a particular diss i'm rich as fuck and now he's all salty yeah yeah you thought you made money sass is just making my salary on like four stand-up shows. No, no, no. Can I have those sunglasses back? No, I think they look better on me. They do look dope. You look like you're a Weekend at Bernie vibes going on.

Cool, cool. Tommy, you look like a young Derek Jeter. Thank you. I mean, I literally, that most dangerous game show pic, looked like Derek. They put like a biracial feature on me. That was insane. They put a whole different face on me that was like that was like in the snake they like yeah like they put it's not a whole different face on me i'm literally in the photoshopped ron's face onto his body yeah they put a different face that i was wearing whoever was it who made you know who

made that uh maybe garrett i'm not i can't confirm but i think it's that was the most outrageous photo i've ever seen yeah it was... It wasn't quite blackface, but it was a little close for comfort. Dude, they... No, it was like you had, like, black body. And then... No, what are you... I'm talking about the thumbnail

where I'm by the snakes. Oh, I'm thinking of the original teaser, like the group one, where we're all sitting in bed. That one was... That's what I was thinking of. But the thumbnail of episode three was... They reversed blackface to you.

Yeah, wait, let me... They tanned your entire body, and then they made your face, like, white as paper. I don't even know which one you're talking about. You're talking about this one. That's the one I'm talking about. No, I'm not talking about that one. I'm talking about a different one. That one's not even that crazy, but just seeing you right now and knowing how pale you are, it is really crazy.

I mean, I'm not pale. I'm not pale. What do you mean, bro? I'm not pale. I'm tanner than you. No, bro. Come on. I'm not pale. What do you mean, bro? I'm not pale. I'm tanner than you. No, bro. I mean, I am. What angle are you looking at?

The regular angle. Not at all, dude. I mean, face. My face is tanner. Tommy, dude, have you seen this one? Maybe. Oh, yeah. What is this? What the hell?

Why would they do this? Everybody's faces. And then look at Roan. Wait, let me see this. Oh, yeah, yeah. What is this? What the hell? Why would they do this? Everybody's faces. And then look at Roan. Wait, what is this? Oh, yeah, yeah. That they said it was like a different picture of everybody, like just at different stages. They found a different face, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luckily, my face is just buried in my hands, so I didn't get God. Oh, so this is just from all different... It's different faces superimposed on different angles. Why? Why would they do this? These are like senior pictures. This just isn't... Tommy, this just isn't you. Yeah, it doesn't. This just doesn't look like you. different faces superimposed on different angles. Why? Why would they do this? Tommy, this just isn't you. This just doesn't look like you.

Maybe I'm just a tan guy. You think you're hot now? No. But Tommy, look at your face from this way. Your face is shining. Yeah. Thank you. And then Rowan, you can literally see the outline of where they photoshopped you in yeah that shit is wild uncomfortable i don't like it but everybody go watch most dangerous

game show episodes four coming out tonight episode five coming out on thursday the final definitely check that shit out i've enjoyed watching it so far it's been it's been a lot of fun to watch sass do you think it's been very good i've enjoyed watching it so far. It's been a lot of fun to watch, Seth. Do you think so? It's been very good. I've enjoyed it a lot. I thought last episode was very good, and I'm really excited for this one, because I think I said on the Yak, or maybe on Boy Dad that episode 3 had the best

challenge, but I was wrong. It's episode 4. Yeah. I think both episode 3 and 4 were really good challenges. The water, I mean, we can, like, the water tank was... Well, I don't think we should talk about it. Well, I water... I mean, we can... Like, the water tank was... Well, I don't think we should talk about it. Well, I mean, people see from the preview that it's a water tank. It was scary.

And then a bunch of shit happens. It's really good. I'm trying to fucking spoil it. I'm not spoiling it. People see in the preview there's a water tank. You want to meet it? There's a little drama. Yeah, I'd love one.

Yeah, there definitely... Well, no. There's a little bit of... All right, are we done? No, no, no. Let's go a little bit more. Tommy just cracked my meter. We're riffing. We're at 54.

Let's go at least 10 more. Okay. I didn't know we were riffing, bro. I just stole Tommy's wallet. Like, what? What the fuck? No, come on. Come come on What are these condoms These thick ass condoms

Oh my god That boy has the thickest fucking condoms dude Did I only have one $20 bill in there Yes Did you pickpocket I just told you that I pickpocketed you But uh Dude why are those condoms so thick

dude that's not that's a regular condom shit felt thick to me what brand is it i've had that in there for so long it's probably it probably would be incredibly ineffective at this point just never know your age right away yeah fuck because i know you've been getting after it dude he was up in uh he was up at Connecticut this weekend with his boy Seraphim yeah Seraphim's group you probably

heard of I heard you've been getting a lot of snatch that's not true not recently from his boy Seraphim yeah don't text me

the other day I was like I've been getting hella I've been getting hella tail a lot of snatch at Seraphim's group

Connecticut there's any time before he puts Fordham Pussy patrols together the rich pussy he sent me this emoji

yeah because you're a grifter a killer a rebel oh no come on come on

I just reapplied I just reapplied with a bandaid when you got somewhere where you don't have a lot of hair you gotta shave

you should've shaved it shave like my leg yeah yeah you should've with your weird husky my leg? Yeah Yeah you should have With your weird Prescott legs Yeah you do

Thank you Thank you Fuck yeah bro Yo so Tommy Your year end review Or your mid year review Is coming up with me Yours is too Sass

Yeah I'm ready You want to give us A preview? I mean I want to know What you have planned For the second half I think you've shown

Growth this year But I want to know What you have planned to maximize your growth and how you make sure you're not about to get stale. Is this a real question? Yeah. I'd like to keep doing more Smokeshow episodes. Well, they cut that.

No, that's not true. They cut my thoughts. I'm allowed to make videos as long as I don't think during them. I just have to act. I can't think. As long as I keep making them with you, Tommy, you don't think during them. I just have to act. I can't think. As long as I keep making them with you, Tommy, you can keep on doing them. Tommy's been a master guy. A Thursday Thoughts video was costing the company a lot of resources.

Thousands. He edited and uploaded it himself. I did. No, there was a point like when I was first doing them in like 2019, like I would have like. Were you kind of happy that got cut i stopped before it got cut that's why it was crazy that it was off it was super vindictive of them to cut it yeah i stopped already and also at that point i was mostly doing it myself the only thing i needed was like i think it was gia at that point just to like put

the music underneath but like i could very easily alana it was so i only would employ women too yeah yeah yeah you were on it for a while you were you were running shit for a while i was shooting but not editing yeah not i mean i gave him the vision though i gave him the fucking the editing was just like putting the clips back to back and adding subtitles and like one graphic but i could just do them myself and upload them to tiktok but sass i want to i want to hear what you have to uh critique tommy on for the second half of the year what kind of things could he work on for the second half of the year to kind of grow his brand make sure he doesn't get stale uh and what do you like that i've done no no not that we'll start with that I mean I would say

more Thursday thoughts I would say more of those more of those little cute little videos you and Rowan have been doing I think more stuff with Caroline yeah

people seem to like our sex chemistry sex talk chemistry yeah the fact that you were having sex I think people want to see you guys have sex

that's what I'm saying you were implying that when you said sex chemistry not in like a like a sexual way they're looking more of like an observation someone someone i think it might have been twitter or reddit but somebody was like it would be like chet holmgren guarding kevin durant that is funny as fuck, dude. Fire starts. Yeah. A praying mantis and a stick bug going at it. I don't shit where I get it from. Just furniture getting thrown together.

Hey, what do you mean? You fucked like half the girls. Yeah, what are you talking about, dude? That's not true, bro. Well, it wasn't half, but it was half the girls. That's just not's just all the guys except for that round of course yeah yeah one day i never fuck you bro come on i just thought he was clawing at my door last night in the hotel i was i was trying to liquor him up at the hookah lounge

don't you wish that was my dick in your mouth don't you wish you were puffing on my dick we're riffing we're literally riffing that's the definition of a riff uncomfortable

that was uncomfortable I'm not apologizing for riffing Joe Biden no I'm not apologizing for riffing joe biden no i'm not apologizing i feel violated you should my like feet squirm yeah that shit was super uncomfortable probably just lost listeners because of that what did you uh probably gain double what the game what do you mean gain double you're probably gain double you know like youtube you can see when people rewound the episode right there it's gonna be crazy rewound no it's not dude that's just not gonna happen that's a thing No, it's not, dude. That's just not going to happen. That's a thing. I think it's a thing.

What have you thought of the tacos that you've had so far? Really good. Tacos have been good. Tacos are good. I actually think this is the best. This is the... I think unless we do something like sushi or some seafood type thing. Next season, all seafood.

Next season, neighborhood eats all seafood. This one is really fun because I love tacos. And also it's like, it's, it's doable. Like you can just go and have one taco. I actually think I like Italian beef more than tacos. I'm not a huge Mexican food guy, but I love these types of tacos.

Yeah, he is. Cause did you hear him talking about bad bunny in the car? Yeah. And he was saying that he, Tommy's exact quote was, I only listen to white music. Right. I said, it's not his music that I don't like.

It's him himself. You're a bigot, dude. And that shit's not cool, bro. I don't fuck with your bigotry. I really don't fuck with your bigotry. We're just riffing. But I do think that, I like this better than the Italian beefs. And I do.

Italian beef sucks. Yeah. That shit was bad. You weren't there, bro. I was burping it up. Cheese curds were really good, too. I think Italian beefs are great. That episode's coming out tomorrow. It sucks that this is your last one.

You heard this? It's your last one. I'm in your cut. What do you mean? You're off the project. We've been filming this is fake dude none of these cameras are this is like the truman show dave come on out for the next season are both you guys gonna come to all the places to have seafood why not dude this was this has been way i think it's been easier i was saying to ron because

like when usually it's like ron will give me ron and me will eat the food he'll give like a 15 minute analysis of every single texture and taste that he's experiencing and then he's like sass what do you think like i don't know i've said every word what the fuck he said yeah he's not really like prepared enough for like what you want to bring to the program i guess tell me what do you usually i posted a video from the first neighborhood eats that i got 1 million likes damn not a million barbecue video you ever seen it was that in oh whatever yeah that was in the video you ever seen a mill yeah i have neighborhood eats is a king making program if people get their milly off. This is like SNL.

I always use, when I talk about Neighborhood Eats, I always use the SNL comparison. We like to take people, we launch them, we make them superstars. We make them into superstars. They get exit velocity. We launch them. They get full exit velocity. I mean, we had Alex Cooper on Neighborhood Eats. Jenna Marbles.

Chef Donnie. Pat Mc Marbles. Chef Donnie. Pat McAfee. Chef Donnie. Pat McAfee. Paula Duca. Blackjack. Who else was on it? Blackjack Fletcher.

There's so many people that have been on. And imagine who's going to be on next. Michigan Man. And we like the competitiveness. We like how me and Tommy were competing to be the best. Hungry Dogs Run Faster. Just because you're all on Neighborhood Eats doesn't mean that you're going to make the show. Oh, yeah.

Every year. That's what I was saying to Sass before. Like, you might not make the show. I'm the Kenan Thompson of Neighborhood Eats because I've been on the longest. But even my spot's up for grabs every year. I'd probably like to beat Davidson. Like, my shit doesn't always get in. But at the end of the day, like, I'm a huge.

But at the end of the day, even when it does get in, it still sucks. Sass is like the, he's like the A. Sasson's like the... He's like the A.D. Bryant, kind of. He's like the Kate McKinnon. The fuck, bro? Kate McKinnon rules. Remember Kate McKinnon saying like a Hallow and Yang vibe?

Who? Bowen Yang? I don't know if I know who that is. Gay. SNL sucks now, bro. I don't even watch it anymore. Yeah, bro, what happened? Take me back to the glory days, dude me back will arnett oh i remember when trump won the election and they did a cold open of kate mckinnon like singing like actually there was like a terrorist attack like 9-11 was the night i remember when that happened and kids were like posting pictures crying well this girl i went to high school with who I really did not like was in a viral picture crying at the Hillary headquarters.

And like, I wanted to make it my screensaver. Just because I don't like her. Everyone, Pete Davidson got a Hillary Clinton tattoo. What? Pete Davidson got a Hillary Clinton tattoo. Damn. Yeah. People were dick riding for her.

Genocidal ass. Imagine the amount of people that she's killed out of office. And then imagine if she had just got the shot in office. Dude, how drunk she would have been with total power. She would have been killing people. Thank God. Thank God for those emails. Fuck yeah, dude.

I'm really just the AOC, dude. And I'll leave it at that. Yeah, you're like the AOC or the hot one. No, I like AOC. I thought you said you were like AOC. But I am the AOC, dude. And I'll leave it at that. Yeah, you're like the AOC or the hot one. No, I like AOC. I thought you said you were like AOC. But I am the AOC dude as well. I like Ilyan. What's her name?

Ilyan Omar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More her vibe. Yeah, you get the sense that she's like really religiously zealous and then you find out that she like cheated on her husband and just like left her husband for her campaign manager. Her husband was like 12 years or something. She might be hoeing it out, dude. cheated on her husband and just like left her husband for her campaign manager her husband was like 12 years or something she might be hoeing it out dude the only people i vote for are omar and ted cruz those are they they're really beacons of my political beliefs i know

yeah ted cruz and alien omar is that her name yeah yeah yeah look yeah dude i'm glad we got to say some politicians names at the end of this shit get some clicks this will do good on TikTok yeah alright you guys

uh Roan you're gonna be in New York this weekend I was gonna be in New York this weekend for Pop Pong

at the Grand Mercy Tommy plug your dates uh I'll be in Delaware this weekend just on vacation what's your name if you wanna if you wanna come by and see me I'll just be chilling on Dewey Beach this weekend. Just on vacation. What's your name? If you want to come by and see me,

I'll just be chilling on Dewey Beach. Really? Dude, you have been on like an East Coast vacation spot tour. You went from like North Jersey,

then to Montauk, then to fucking Connecticut. I know. Now to Delaware. All you need is South Jersey. Yeah, LA, Tommy, Glowtron,

and Tommy. Milwaukee, Chicago.ron, and Tommy. Milwaukee, Chicago. Come on, bro. He's got more days than you, bro. I'm going to be out in... I'm actually going to be in New Jersey on Thursday. Let me pull this up real quick. That doesn't even barely count as being somewhere.

That's just where you are. Jersey City. I'm going to be there. And then I'm going to be Providence. Four shows. Friday, Saturday, this week. atlanta the week after that so fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck all right thanks for telling me enjoy your book bro see you guys thanks for having me peace