Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 78 - Harry Styles Has A Wooden Leg

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 78 - Harry Styles Has A Wooden Leg - Lil Sas & Rone are joined by Tommy Smokes, and they discuss lots of stuff -- Rest in Peace to legend and friend of the pod Pat Stay ... if you can, there's a link to donate to help support his family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/pat-stays-memorial?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=m_pd+share-sheet -- Ad: Shady Rays - Get 50% OFF 2+ pairs of Adult Non-Prescription Sunglasses at https://barstool.link/shadyraysBSS with code SON -- Ad: Betterhelp - Go to https://barstool.link/SONbetterhelp for 10% off your first month -- Ad: Birddogs- Go to https://barstool.link/BirddogsBSS and use promo code SON for a free Birddogs rope hat -- Ad: Gametime- Download the Gametime app at https://barstool.link/GametimeApp and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today it is Tuesday, September 6th, and we're going to just dive right into an advertisement. It's the fucking fall, so you know what that means. Game time.

Pig skin. Pig skin. Pig skin and game time. And what better way to use game time than by downloading the Game Time app? The exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports concerts and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price.

Tommy, we're going to a football game this year. Are we? Not me and you. My friends and I are. Gotcha. I probably won't go. I'm going to a Yankee game, though, soon. And?

Through game time. Very nice. Very nice. Bought your tickets through game time, and that's what is up. What's your favorite Yankees bar to go to before the game? Gotta go Billy's. I mean, it's Billy's or Stan's.

Billy's is a lot bigger. Owen, is that true? Stan's is the place. I'm a Stan's guy, dude. Yeah, we're actually a Stan's podcast. No, me too. Yeah, I know you are. We're sponsored by Stan's as well.

Stan's, Stan's. That's the next ad read, though. For now, we're talking about game time. Game time. Download the game time app. Go to the account tab to create a login and redeem code boy dad all caps for 20 off your first purchase terms apply god damn download game time last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed and let's hop it and let's get back to the episode let's get into the fucking show dude um aaron rogers will be joining us later on, but for now, Tommy Smokes.

You got Aaron Rodgers, you got Tommy. I'll be talking for about 24% of the episode. Yeah, we limited your words. You're already about halfway there, so pipe down. It's not 24 words, 24%. But we only do 100 words per episode. We take things nice and slow. So don't rush yourself.

Tommy, you're in the glow- up of your lifetime this fall season. This is the best you've ever been. And you've also adopted a cocaine habit. I am in the opposite of a glow up. I'm trying to glow up. I actually just bought the book Atomic Habits. So you're about to see me really change into a new man. Do you see the little bit of cocaine on your nose?

Oh, no, that's because I had a really bad bloody nose at a restaurant the other day, and the entire wait staff had to come out to try to stop it. Oh, yeah, I saw that. Oh, you were in Jersey? I was at the Jersey Shore, and I had a really bad nosebleed at the end of the meal. Yeah, but the nosebleed was because you were doing cocaine. You literally have white at the end of your nose right here. I think it's because I was using so much to stop the bleeding.

Cocaine. I tried to stop it with more cocaine. It left a white spot no i think that's just like paper towel just stuck to your nose or boogers one of the other you caught yourself shaving your nose i did shave yesterday so i could have been that so you could do more cocaine shaved your nose he's got a hairy ass nose fucking gross ass nose you have the biggest beard i've ever seen on you it looks becoming dude it's because i'm a fucking being swallowed alive by pitoriasis yeah yeah i don't want to shave because i'm like well when this shit really starts getting bad on my face i'd like the beard to cover it up and maybe then i'll just look i have like acne or something yeah but if you even shaved i feel like the cuts in your skin would invite pitoriasis.

Would invite more pitoriasis. Have we ruled out monkeypox for that? Yes, it doesn't look anything like monkeypox. Never know. I do now because I looked up monkeypox and I looked up this and I have this. And I also went to a doctor twice. And you don't have gay sex. And I'm not gay, bro.

So fall back. Teach their own. No, the only reason I went to the doctor in the first place was because i thought i had monkey pox yeah i would have done the same yeah is it uh the same shit that d low had no that was psoriasis and this pitoriasis pitoriasis jesus christ dude no there's a big difference i believe it but i'm just saying i don't know why they use such similar names most be at both dudes have ariasis it's got to just be some kind of greek root that means something about the skin or yeah i don't know because every time i tell people it's

pitoriasis they're like wait are you sure you don't mean psoriasis and like yeah i'm sure i know what i fucking have that is funny though that uh i'm actually kind of happy that you actually have a thing other than just like being like i think i'm afraid of that i have this thing like it's your it's coming to fruition your sickness yeah i mean i'm not it doesn't like it's not that bad i mean the itchiness is pretty unbearable there's some really like yesterday was a bad day like yesterday it was just like itching everywhere for hours i had to take some claritin that's like an allergy i mix the claritin with the Benadryl. You must have been fucking dipping. Yeah. Yeah. Did you, uh, I feel like one of the main things to do when you itch like that is have someone piss all over you. Yeah. I was, that would have been the easiest move. The thing is with these kinds of rashes, you kind of just start experimenting

on your body and you're like, well, maybe this you're like maybe if i take some of this fucking revitalite and rub it all over my body it'll hydrate my skin or any type of lotions have you slapped lotion on yourself oh um but i think i've been over lotioning what if you got sandpaper and just rubbed it all yeah like that's like peel your skin like my mom was like oh you should go in the water go in the salt water and i'm like i don't think like there's nothing you can do the only thing you can do is just lotion and use yeah what if the lotion is giving it like a damp environment for it to live in well that's that's what so what made it worse was the doctor was like it's either a fungus related rash or it's pitoriasis and then i they gave they prescribed me this fungus anti-fungal shampoo and i used it and it's so much worse because that that dries out the skin

and what you don't want the skin to dry out with this because then it makes it way worse you sound like a nerd from like a 70s movie like my doctor gave me an anti-fungal my body right now you would be like it's all over your body it's not just your face dude the face is the no come on because on your face it doesn't look bad at all I bet it's not even showing up on camera no I know because this is new

this came in like today oh really dude my arms are there's blisters all over them and there is like it's

remember I showed it to you the other day is it contagious no is it leprosy no dude it's pitoriasis rosea how do you know

you sure it's not psoriasis I think Owen's right about this one. No, no. I've heard of psoriasis. I think that's what we have. Actually, after we did the episode with Matt last week, Shane texted me and he was like, I had pitoriasis when I was your age. And he was like, try going out in the sun.

But I'm too far gone to even- Like, if I go out in the sun, people are going to be hiding their children from me. Beast. You need to go into the deep wilderness and get ass naked yeah no it's like what i need i was thinking about going up on our roof again yeah and just spreading out up there starfish sunning your nutties dude my back it's the worst on my back my back maybe just a little taste my tommy no no can tommy feel it can't yeah can you put a finger in your wound like a doubting thomas now you can't feel it through my shirt

it's really bad. I think it's... Oh, dude, I felt a little lump there. You did? Is that your tricep? What? I'm getting itchy just like watching. You're not going to get it.

I think I have it. This is Munchausen by proxy. That's exactly what this is. I have this thing on my arm. I just had a wart removed on my arm. Oh, you got it off? Yeah, I got it off. Thank God, dude.

Waiting for the biopsy results. Oh, dude. Well, let's say waited this long. They said it's probably not cancer. It definitely nothing it's definitely not cancer uh it's definitely a dysplastic compound so i actually i always i always thought it was a birthmark like my whole life i had like these little spots right here and then one of them got a lot bigger and you and others bullied i started making fun of it as soon as i saw it but even when i was in like high school my friends would be like what's that gross thing in your arm i was like it's a birthmark and then when i went to the

dermatologist last week she was like who told you this is a birthmark so this is a bunch of little warts on your skin that's way more gross than peteriasis 24 percent i mean here's here's yeah sorry no no no finish uh make us the last one uh yeah so so they had to freeze them off or what yeah they froze off a couple and then i think they're gonna get the rest off too but i was like all right well let's see what it is first let's just take a razor to it because it's a part of me so that's insane dude when you go to the dermatologist and they're like let's remove they could remove anything from my body and i wouldn't care it's a part if it's a birthmark i don't want it off so i feel like I'd be playing God.

You definitely like save your hair after you go to the barber. Dude, that's like, oh, cause Tommy's a hoarder. Did you know this? Yeah. Are you actually? Tommy was cleaning his desk the other day and there was like, he was picking up literal trash and being like, oh, this is from our first advisors. It would be like a candy wrapper.

Watching the show Hoarders is. A day through on the ground. Yeah. No, like this is bubble gum. This actually happened for hours, and Nate just came over and was just throwing away everything, because Tommy wouldn't throw away one thing. That's super respectable by the Nate dog. I know, it was. But hoarding is a disgusting habit.

Have you ever watched a TV show? So gross. Yeah. I don't even like watching that shit. It's the best counter to hoarding. It's like the best medicine and cure for it. I used to be a little bit of like, I was like, I wasn't a hoarder, but I had like weird like attachment to things when I was a kid.

Like I wouldn't want to throw away any toys that I hadn't played with in like 10 years. That's what Marie Kondo just says. Like you take the thing one last time and you just like thank it for its service to you. You're like, thanks for all the good times. I had a shirt and just fucking get rid of that yeah well then then i ended up losing my clothes twice and then i was like okay none of this has any because i don't even remember what clothes i had i think there's a good chance to pitterize this is from that dallas cowboy sweatshirt that you keep on wearing no we talked about this because that was

what i originally i stopped wearing the sweatshirt for a couple days and i washed it and i was like i wonder if it's an allergic reaction, but it doesn't, it's not an allergic reaction. Or it could be bedbugs or- It's not bedbugs either because it doesn't look like, dude- Or have you ever heard of the- If I showed you it,

there's literally only one thing this could possibly be and it's what I have. Have you ever heard of, and I'm going to spell this word out because it doesn't sound nice to say, C-H-I-G-G-E-R-S? No. Do you know what those are?

No. Bedbugs. No, I thought it was bedbugs at first as well. Remember I texted you? Harvest mites. They burrow under your skin and make a thing that's just like what you have. It's not. I promise you it's not even close to what I have.

Are you sure? Promise you. I'm looking at pictures of it and it looks identical. Let me see what it is. Let me see it. It might look like when I first had it and I showed. Are you sure? Promise you. I'm looking at pictures of it and it looks identical. Let me see what it is. Let me see it. It might look like when I first had it and I showed it to you. This is so much worse now. Dude, when I

showed you originally that it's one-tenth. That was one-tenth. No, this is way worse. This is worse than that? No way. You have to show us. It's that all over my body. So why isn't it this? Look up pitoriasis, dude.

I'm not looking it up, dude. I want to diagnose it myself. I know what I have. You're not going to be able to convince me because I know what it is. You need to get some sun, bro. Yeah, but I don't want to bring it out in the sun. Because then they're like, also, make sure you don't overheat. And it's like, well, I'm going to Phoenix this week.

They're like, try not. They're like, make sure you don't overheat and get out's like, well, and I'm going to Phoenix this week. They're like, try not, they're like, make sure you don't overheat and get out, like be in a too hot areas. Dude, I think you have to fucking amputate your arms, dude. I think you need to fucking slice your shit off. You would be.

Yeah. That's what my body looks like right now. That's the exact same thing as what I just showed you. No, it's not. That's legitimately what my body look like. Yeah. I've been,

I have to put a shirt on after I shower to walk back to my room because I don't want to scare off my dude. It's all right, man. Did they say what caused it? Yeah, they think it's like a viral thing. Like a virus. Because you're living amongst rodents. Like I'm not going to speak on that right now, but I know. It could be our new roommates.

That ain't me anymore. No? My room's clean as a whistle. And who told you that? The rats? Ratatouille? Hasn't been a rodent in my room in weeks. I got a little piece of wood that I slide under my door, and then I put towels on the other side, and then I put shoes on top of them.

A little tip. Brillo pads, I heard. Really? Yeah, they can't get through. Wait, what do you mean? If you just stuff a bunch of them under your door? Yeah, or like in the pipes of the sink and stuff where they could be coming up. Yeah, and then I also line them.

That's going to be my new move, Brillo pads. And then I put a row of traps right in front of the towel. Have you killed anybody yet? And then we woke up Sunday and dudes was just right in front of the towel. Have you killed and then we woke up Sunday and dudes was just laying in all of them. If they break through the barrier they're dead.

Damn dude. That's fucking devastating. Dudes just went on NY Influencer Snark and fucking let the people know that you have pitoriasis. I mean I don't care

if people know. Yeah it's bad news, but it's also your warning sign for them. What? Not to get pitoriasis, not to live the dirty lifestyle that you live. It's not a dirty lifestyle thing. Tom, you're like the lady in the smoking commercial.

I got pitoriasis one time, too. You literally have thousands of warts covering your body right now. Yeah, I have like four. I mean, here's the difference is- And they're sentimental to you. Yeah. They'd be maybe like if i don't want my pit arises to go away the difference is i'm wearing a shirt and you refuse to show even a sliver of your skin so that tells you what's worse i'll show it to you after the show i'm not going to show it to

you on camera but i'm wearing mine on camera loud and proud yeah warts and all warts and all i mean mine would be like if you had those warts and then there was 70,000 other ones. Yeah, I agree. Yours is worse and more discussed? Yes. Okay. Interesting. We're on the same page.

Tommy, aren't you worried that you're going to get pitoriasis now? I feel like you- Legitimately, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I feel- Yeah, wipe him up. Wipe him up a little bit.

I feel like it's contagious. Something like that has to be contagious. It's not. Tell me one of those footballs, brother. I need to do something with my hands. The doctor actually told me. She said- Rub this on your pitoriasis and give it to Tommy. She said it to be contagious. It's not. Tell me one of those footballs, brother. I need a little something with my hands. The doctor actually told me. She said... Rub this on your pit of rices and give it to Tommy.

She said it's not contagious. She said... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rub it on his warts. Rub it on his open wound. Don't bite back with my warts. She said it's not contagious. She said you can still have body-to-body contact or some weird thing.

Don't worry, man. I don't want to do that. I was like, okay. I don't want to do that if you're looking like that. Don't worry. It's just my pitter-eyes. It's wild. I feel like it would be a funny video to just go to a pool and just hop in like this. Just be walking around a public pool for a little bit, stretching out, and then hop in.

The pool clears out. People would be ripping their kids out like there's a shark in the water. Like someone pooped in the water. Yeah. Oh my God. It's horrible. You might be a zombie, dude. You might be turning into

a fucking Night of the Living Dead type of character. We might be talking Walking Dead right now. And then I look at the Reddits and everyone's like, yeah, mine lasted for nine months.

That would be so funny. Nah, I wouldn't care. Once the winter comes around, i don't really give a fuck yeah you don't show any of your body anyway so what's what's wearing some gloves and a ball of clava for you you got to wear one of those like demon time masks thinking about it like if it gets on my face what am i gonna do you gotta go demon time and wear a fucking robbery mask. I'll just have to start. Yeah, probably. You're going to have to start robbing people. It's going to suck.

You need to turn into a sassy shy. That might be fucking dope. It sucks is that they're like it doesn't barely goes on the face. And now it's coming on my face. That's fucking gross, dude. What do you guys think about um Harry Styles I don't I think it's all publicity apparently that movie sucks

I heard Harry Styles has a wooden leg that he's hiding from the public damn really I heard he has a drinking problem and he keeps a flask in his wooden leg and he's been trying to

fucking do this extra shit to try and disguise from it I don't know if that's true or not but that's just what I've been hearing the people that get people were getting fired up about the Harry Styles shit shit to try and disguise from it. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's just what I've been hearing. People were getting fired up about the Harry Styles shit. People were catching wind of his wooden leg, so he spit on that dude.

What is the wooden leg? I don't know. He apparently just has a fully... Is this a theory? Yeah, there's a theory that he has this fully wooden leg. Yeah, this is not made up. There's a bunch of shit about the wooden leg. He's just been walking around with an alcohol problem and a wooden leg. I can see him having

a drinking problem. The wooden leg is where you cross a line for me. Have you ever seen his legs? They go hand in hand. Have you seen his legs? Yeah. When? He's got leg tattoos and stuff. That could be on his very good prosthetic wooden leg. I... There's no pictures of him wearing shorts.

I'm almost positive that this dude has a wooden leg. Yeah, I saw a picture of him wearing shorts because it was like Harry Styles outside of a Whole Foods and he had like a mask and sunglasses on. That was an imposter that he sends out to grocery shops. Body double. He's got a body double to protect from his wooden legs. I remember seeing his legs and being like, damn, those are some good legs. I just find it impossible to follow what is going on. I don't know what's going on.

It's all PR for their movie. So it's all on purpose? Or are they actually fighting with each other like they're beefing with each other? Or are they being dead serious? I don't know who Florence Pugh is. Is she the director or is she in the movie? I watched a tiktok recap of it if you want yeah yeah uh shia labeouf was supposed to be in the movie

florence pew wanted him off in the harry styles role or yeah okay and then so olivia wilde uh said she kicked him off but she didn't replace him with harry styles she starts fucking harry styles they find out she didn't kick off shia Styles she starts fucking Harry Styles they find out she didn't kick off Shia LaBeouf and that she was like talking shit about Florence Pugh

that's I watched part one of three I thought haven't Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles been dating for like a long time I think they just started

fucking while he was dating or while she was dating the dude from SNL Jason Sudeikis and then he got real what did he he was like high at some award show

or something like that. He wore a sweatshirt. He served her publicly, Jason Sadakis. Yeah. That was sick. But I don't think he did. He claims that he didn't know that was going to happen. But he was high at an award show,

and everyone at the time was like, look at this legend. He was just going through it. He was in hell wearing a hoodie. Everyone's in fucking tuxedos. I wouldn't be mad if my girl left me for Harry Styles. I take that as a compliment. Well, if you were already, if you were that famous, you probably would be.

You definitely, or you'd be possessive. Is that the equivalent to us if like your girlfriend left you for like you? Seth. I was going to say Marty Mosh. You're the Harry Styles of barstool. I kind of see it. I'm not. Harry Styles is the fucking one right now.

I'm more of the Nile. I think, I think that's 24. I think that's 24% right there. You're done. Shut it down. I, uh,

I've been going through a pretty intense true crime phase damn you're a girl no dude not the podcast those things suck true crime is for women the whole genre yes it is have you watched mindhunter

it's this show it's by David Finch Fincher? not true crime though no it's true crime It's this show. It's by David Finch. Fincher? Not true crime, though. No, it's true crime. Really? Yeah, it's all real.

Well, it's not like documentary style. But it's recreated? It's recreated, yeah. Oh, shit. It's fucking amazing. And then they just ended it after two seasons because David Finch wanted to do other stuff. But it got like an 8.6 out of 10 on IMDb. It's like fantastic.

And then they just stopped making it. Damn. That's where he goes and he like interviews the people. Yeah. Who's that big fat serial killer? Oh, like Kemper. Richard Kemper. Is that his name?

I don't know. Fight said I have the same voice as him. That's such a compliment. Oh, my God. But yeah, it's Kemper. I know that's his last name. I can't imagine getting caught by a fat serial killer. That shit would drive me absolutely insane.

Getting caught by a fat serial killer? Like I'm saying, if he's running you down and catches you. He's not that fat, but he's like 6'7", 300 pounds. Oh, so he's massive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He looks pretty fat. He's a big guy, so he's massive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He looks pretty fat.

He's a big guy. But if you're six, seven, I feel like you kind of have a license to be that fat. Yeah. How did he what was his preferred way of of killing people? Kemper. Yeah. Did he just body people? He just laid down on him.

I think he would kill them and then have sex with them and then kill. It's not like one. And then he would cut their heads off and have sex with the heads interesting oh he was an actor and a writer as well you do kind of sound you do kind of have a similar voice to him now that i think about it i thought you were just doing an impression of him there's a direct pipeline of actors and writers to becoming serial killers if they fail or ensign was a singer was he yeah yeah all of them become serial killers or like uh right wing uh media members did you see like marjorie taylor green trying out for american idol no i didn't yeah i think that either you serial kill or you go to

the rnc if you don't make it in the biz thank god for podcasts do. That is a good thing to have in all of our back pockets. If this thing ever fails. That we could serial kill? We could just start firing off some right wing takes on Twitter. Or left wing, dude. If you could just really go super Rex Chapman. They don't rally around you as much, I feel.

Rex Chapman has a fucking massive following. Nobody likes Rex Chapman, do they? He's like on a CNN show now, isn't he? I thought I got like nobody watched. I don't think they did. Dude, I looked at his Twitter yesterday because I was thinking about him for some reason. And he retweets his own tweets after like five minutes. How many followers does he have?

Like two million or something like that. That's a lot of followers. It is. Quick correction. Edmund Kemper. Ed Kemper. Yeah. Also, I looked up David Fincher,

7ZodiacGoneGirl and Social Network. All of them. Didn't you do Moneyball too? He's got bangers. No, I don't think so. Why do you keep saying bangers like that? Bangers. Bangers.

How's it called? Bangers. Mind Hunter. Bangers. You're saying it like the city in Maine. Bangers. Bangers. How about softening that g my friend bangers yeah like the new york rangers yeah you're done he's he's fucking you guys opened up some more words i'll let you open up

bangers uh i mean uh actually let's do should we do another ad we got a bunch of fucking ads today no well now we only I guess we can't do one yet yeah we got three left so I'm just opening up some words for me

the boys are just we're fucking drowning in advertisements we're rolling in money yeah we are this is so many ads PG on this one

alright no cusses let's keep it healthy. All right. Better help. Better help. It can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem solving mode when facing a challenge in life. But when you learn.

Faced with a challenge in life. It says must read verbatim. No, it doesn't say that, dude. Yes, it does. In parentheses. Faced with a challenge in life What did I say? It says must read verbatim Fuck me No it doesn't say that dude Yes it does In parentheses Oh fuck Oh fuck

So now we gotta And now you cussed twice I know dude My second cuss was in response To the first cuss Okay I'll take this one It can be tough to train your brain To stay in problem solving mode

When faced with a challenge in life But what when you that doesn't say what you got to read the verbatim it says but when you i'll take this but when you learn how to find your own solutions there's no better feeling a therapist can help you become a better problem solver making it easier to accomplish your goals no matter how big or small talk about your person this is tough because they want you to talk about it but it's saying read it verbatim talk about your personal experiences with therapy like i love therapy yeah i think it's the cure i think ed kemper

could have been a good guy if he just got some better help if you're thinking of giving therapy a try better help is a great option it's convenient accessible affordable and entirely online get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief sergey survey and switch sergey kind of like that flows off the tongue nice yeah that's kind of how tommy would say it right bang bang bangers survey survey sounds like a russian hockey player type kind of kind of like that um when you want to be a better problem solver therapy can get you there visit better help.com slash sun to get 10 off your first month that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p.com slash sun thank you s-o-n sun s-o-n um tommy invited me to his fantasy football league this week and uh i just made my team name the same name as his what's your team name so my last

season my team name was i've decided to win this season and then i did win so now to constantly remind everyone i'm in my team name i won won last season. Just so there's no confusion. Roan also made it, I won last season. So now people are very confused. When's your draft? It was last night. And then Tommy changed his name. And I told him how Pat Stay's dying wish was for us to have the same fantasy football name.

And so we had to change it back. It was incredible foresight for him to know I would change it after you changed it I know it was crazy but he the heart wants

what it wants so now we're both I actually won last season or no now we're both I won last season and I did I won my fantasy league

I won a fantasy league last season so it's not actually a lie yeah I mean I won this one that we're in but it doesn't say that it doesn't say that it doesn't say

that so should i say i won this league last season and betray a man's last wish all right wait did you so was your guys uh was your draft was it like was it in person yeah i went over to tommy's house that's nice that's nice of you no it was online sad to say i tried to get i tried to link up with tommy but he was too busy fucking sluts down the Jersey Shore. Yeah, not true. I was in my apartment. Tommy was my fuckload this weekend. Yeah, he was.

In my apartment. You weren't down the Jersey Shore? Not when I drafted. Yeah. I would never draft down at the shore. Why not? Don't miss business and pleasure. You weren't fucking down the shore?

I did not. I know that's not true. You know that that's true. You sent me a picture of your dick in a postcard. We're not supposed to tell that. Was that an old picture? I was trying to impress you. I took an old picture the last time I had sex.

I said, one day this will come handy to send to Roan. You got a new phone? No. Just green. Green on the inside, green on the outside. Matches your hat. You got a new hat? Since when do you have a green phone?

Dude, I've had it ever since I got this phone. No, you haven't. This is a brand new phone. Well, no, it's not, dude. Don't put that smut on my fucking name. We used to have the same phone. Yours was just bigger than mine. I got this one several months ago.

Now. Now we have the same phone. Oh, that must be what it is. Mine's bigger. Yeah, okay. I was thinking of Tommy. My bad. That's super insulting to me.

All right. I apologize. That's super fucking hurtful to me. Happens all the time. So when you guys, when you draft, do you just draft the same team that you have for all of your teams? I feel like that would make it a lot easier. What does that mean?

Like I have multiple, do I get the same dudes? I guess you probably can't do that. It's probably hard to do. But you could try to get a bunch of the same guys. But I try to get like some variance on that. But you could try to get a bunch of the same guys, but I try to get some variance on them. Do you get real technical with it? I get pretty technical, but Tommy's super technical. Tommy, do you just do

AI? Auto draft? No. I draft my own brain. The ESPN auto draft is horrible. Tommy finds market inefficiencies. Yeah, I found some market inefficiencies. ESPN had this player ranked super low when everyone forgot about him. It's called some market inefficiencies he has yeah and had this player ranked super low when everyone forgot about him it's called the market inefficiency he gets i told her own i was like this this is the most random league of people no he texted me talking shit on everyone in his

league he like sent me a paragraph of being like this guy is like this thing and he's like no you don't don't say any of it it's like why would you give me all that information and just want me to what am i to do with it is, it's like a few of my really good friends, but then we have like my friends, friends from college, brother-in-law, and like a couple weeks ago he got added, he got added to the group chat, his first year

in the league. You would think a group chat of 11 people you don't know, you probably don't say much at all. He immediately sent a picture of his dog slapping his girlfriend's ass and was like let's get wild this year boys and was like everyone follow my golden doodle instagram account yeah but that's like the type of people like it's just it's a mishmash group of people but that's what fantasy football was like it's just like is it trying to be as outrageous as

they when i run ron had to meet his fantasy group it was just like dudes like saying slurs and like sending pictures of their dicks. And they kicked me out. They were sending breastfeeding pictures. Yeah, they were sending videos of like girls breastfeeding. And you did not like that? No, I just was like, I was like busy and I didn't see it in time. And they kicked me out. You can never be too busy for a breastfeeding dick.

But I think that's what it is. And it wasn't even a fantasy football league I'm in. But it was completely a microcosm of all fantasy football leagues. And Tommy's league is probably the exact same way. Actually, I should bring some of those breastfeeding picks and throw them in your group. Well, I haven't added Roan to the chat. I didn't know if Roan wanted to be added to the chat. How often are people posting in there?

Is it all day, every day? No, no no no definitely not tommy is like the ringleader he's like the uh the like clever guy of the group no that's not true i'm not the commissioner now he's a clever guy i'd say there's a couple of us sort of the clever guys collectively the clever group of boys who else is clever rob i that's pretty clever uh yeah we have a few clever fellows in there for sure. And who's the stupidest fucking idiot?

Brian's an easy target. He's the commish. Why would you want to be the commish? Because you like power? It's like being a referee. I would want to be the president. Same thing. No, not even close. It's very similar. You're like, oh, I'm not going to play.

I'll just keep the rules for you guys. It's like being the bank in Monopoly. I think you do play, but you also keep the rules as well. Stephen Che,

is that scenario where he's commissioner and not playing? Every other fantasy league in the world, you're commissioner. Oh, okay. Have you ever done it?

Is that the most free time? No. It's just the guy who's in the least amount of leagues. Or who loves rules and power the most. Yeah. It's like a No. It's just the guy who's in the least amount of leagues. Or who loves rules and power the most. Yeah. It's like a referee. It's like someone who just wants to be part of the game, wants to be more of a part of

the game, and loves rules. Do all leagues have a commissioner? Yeah, I think so. I played like once a couple years ago, or like 10 years ago, and we didn't have a commissioner. Damn, you just raw-dogged it? Yeah. It it yeah it was anarchy it was like the purge yeah it was me my dad my neighbor dude who was just the three and the kid that lived at that house so four people yeah really yeah so my dad beat everyone every by like a mile he probably just loaded the deck with people who he knew knew nothing about football well i mean i was like 10 so yeah probably your dad just wanted

to win so he's just dunking on you he's like in 14 leagues with his son and his son's friends be like i'll trade you my fucking yeah backup tight end for two of your starting running backs it was fun, though. Do you remember any of the dudes that were on your team? I'd love to be in a league now. I asked you to be in that league with those, or those dudes asked you to be in the league. They didn't even ask me to be in the league. I don't even know who they were.

They were dudes from home. I made fun of one of their, I said one thing and one of them got a new rug or something. And I made fun of it and he got genuinely upset. He probably spent a lot for the rug. He't like my rug well so they just threw me in this group chat and like said nothing and it was just like conversation was just going on as usual no you were posted pictures of a dog slapping your girlfriend's ass and you were fucking kind of overdo it you were being very over this and so i thought it'd be funny to just hop in out of nowhere and just say something like making fun of one of them.

And then they were like, yo, what the fuck, dude, you don't like my rug? You don't like this picture of my breastfeeding wife? And then they started sending breastfeeding videos and I didn't reply and they kicked me out. They got uncomfortable real quick. Breastfeeding and slurs are okay, but you don't make fun of a man's rug. No. He was like, dude, it's

been a long time to set this thing up. Yeah. Get this thing in place. I'll put you back in the group when you're ready to refinance your mortgage and talk to the fellas. Yeah. I mean, it's too late now, right? All the drafts have happened. Probably.

I got one tonight if you want to hop in. Tonight? You should hop in with Owen. See, I would join one, but the thing is I'm not going to keep track of it at all. Why not? Because I'm not going to keep track of it at all. Why not? Because I'm not going to watch all the games and stuff. You don't have to. You don't have to watch a single game.

Don't do the drafts, though. Fun part. It's the meat. And then you just never check again. Get in a public league. Check once a week. No, no, no. It's fine.

You don't want to live with a little fantasy? It's fine. It's fine. No, Taz. You can have some fun. I'll just start my own league. Play by myself. Just get back into your dad's league. There's a no psoriasis rule or I really guess it's a no

psoriasis rule or whatever the hell it's called so you wouldn't be allowed in it's not called psoriasis I wish I knew what the name is pitoriasis it's pretty simple he's been saying it all day he keeps on bragging about how bad it is

40 minutes his pitoriasis is yeah what should we draft keeps on bragging about how bad his 40 minutes is. His pit of rice just is. What should we draft? Oh, the draft. It's time for the draft. Things Harry Styles is lying about. He didn't spit on Chris Prine.

But you saw there's a legitimate rumor that he has like a toupee or some shit like that. It's like, dude, that shit is not true. Dude, people don't want to people try and come for the goat all the time i know i like harry styles you know never did anything wrong to me he's a he's a dynamic superstar he went on a crazy world tour pussy constantly does he are you kidding dude what other pussy does he destroy other than olivia wilde jason sudeikis is bussy he fucked him in his heart yeah yeah he fucked his heart and broke it in front of everybody we do got to do a draft though yeah what are we drafting

tommy um shit best tommy moments yeah how about toms yeah let's well let's draft best toms yeah let's not draft yeah we're actually gonna going to draft. We could draft best draft ideas. If we were going to do a draft, like things we'd want to draft. Tommy, have you thought about getting those things that you put under your eyes for eye bags? He definitely has used them many times. I have not. I will immediately look into that, though, once we get off this one. You've never seen those things like Jeff D. Lowe wears?

I've seen them. I haven't looked into it. I didn't know that it was like that bad of a quality for me. It's like the big, it's like the reality show things at Barstool. Everyone's got them on.

Yeah. It's hilarious. Yeah. People are like worried about being too bloated on cam. Now that you have better shirts, it's, it kind of brings attention

to the bags under your eyes. Okay, cool, cool. You don't really focus on the bad shirt anymore. Yeah, Rome gave me a cool shirt I wore out to the shore this weekend. And then he showed a picture of it on the floor of some girl's apartment next to her bed. Really? That's not true.

That is not true. Jesus. And this was a different night. You're a dog. It was in the background of the picture of my dick in the pussy. No, it was not. It was a whole different one. Hell not. It was a whole different one. Hell yeah.

It was a whole different picture altogether. It looked spicy. I'm sad that you're not down the shore anymore. I told her, I said, hold on. I'm going to take a picture of this shirt on your floor. Sent to my friend. Yeah. She respected it.

She definitely respected it. She was a fucking baddie. Yeah. Tall as all get out. 6'8". she local uh she was between local and national appeal like she'd wow you as a local but she's not like if she's a humble she's a humble national yeah she's a humble national the comments wouldn't go crazy about her in the next blog no they go to the blog over yeah oh yeah that like trying to check on

your blog comments i was posting when i was like an intern i was like the big moment of my day was checking the next blog after the smoke show i hope i got the boys riled up today oh is it nate capitals blog yeah snuck in there he doing nate capitals that was the highlight of your day was 445 yes a bunch of dudes. You just wanted to get the fucking masses horny as hell. Getting the fellas hard. That was your job. Your job was to get people as horny as they could get. Yeah, you were a conductor for Boydick.

You were. You were an orchestra. I've been the cause of more male boners than maybe anyone in the world. Dude, you brought... I'm going to go ahead and say no. Not even remotely close. No, I'll give it to him. Let's clip that.

Let's clip that and put that out to the world. I thought you were going to say anyone in the office. Anyone in the world? Maybe anyone in the world. I think you've made more men come than anyone in the world. Are people jerking off to those? I would hope.

What else am I doing? I bet that's like an appetizer for beating off. They probably start with that. Yeah, yeah. You're not getting them to finish with your locals, buddy. Yeah, dude.

They start with my locals then they head over to the Instagram and then they finish. But I feel like, I feel like if anything you would be like, the way,

and then they finish. But I feel like if anything it would be like... And then they... I feel like if anything it would be like a little time cleanser. A timeline cleanser. A feed cleanser? Some titties? Just like on the website. Like, oh, look at those titties. Keep scrolling. No, but I think it could probably be a...

Like you're scrolling through Instagram and you see a big fat blonde with big bazookas. A big fat blonde? I mean, a skinny blonde with big fat bazookas. A fat blonde with fat bazookas. And you're like, ooh. And then that excites you a little bit. And then you're like, ooh, maybe I'm a little horny. Maybe I'll go jerk off to whatever regular porn.

It's just a reminder that you're straight every day. It sounds like a porn addiction. I don't do it. I am a giver of the porn addiction It's just a reminder that you're straight every day. It sounds like a porn addiction. I don't do it. I'm a giver of the porn addiction. You're a distributor. Yeah, I'm a distributor. You're a pusher. You're a dealer. Yeah, you're a drug dealer. I'm a boner dealer. I deal out boners

on the wreck. You specialize in boners, and sometimes you'll deal a little ejaculation. Maybe a little cummy? So when you started at Barstool, what did you tell your parents you were doing? Social media. You never gave them the details? No, I think they – actually, I don't know if I did.

Because I was also doing like Barstool Lifestyle, which was just posting pictures of people wearing our merch. Just the whole account. And like Barstool U a little bit which was like the college so it wasn't only uh the smoke shows so i was able to hide behind some more legitimate barstool you the you you i almost got a full ride to go there to barstool you they took away your scholarship though yeah you didn't go hard enough on the beers. You couldn't chug the full fucking handle of Jack Daniels beer bottle. You get hazed at Barstool U. They make you jerk off to a local.

You got to elephant walk and do a ooky cookie to a local. That's fucking gross. First person to come to this Barstool local smoke show is eliminated. And last person to come. you got to be right in

the middle there tom used to be quiet as fuck when he would sit at that they had like a little table in the old office and um like he didn't say a funny thing for three years straight damn well he's too busy just a year and getting horny didn't have the opportunity to say anything you were quiet too at first i remember the first first month or so i was like who's this guy i didn't know who you were i think i introduced myself to everybody on the first day i also remember the opposite of that being like holy shit this guy just got here he's doing everything damn tommy's been here for a minute tommy's been here for you no me as a consumer i was a viewer at this point he came in hot i feel like i specifically roan did once you'd had the JoJo and Joe show on like

the... Week one. Was that the day for him? Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying there was like one day. Actually, that was actually before I got hired is when I pitched that. There was like one day you were in the office and you were sitting in like the intern section. I was like, oh, I don't know who this guy is. Maybe it's one person that can finally be beneath me.

Yeah, you were that shy little guy with those national titles instantly shined what was uh who else was sitting at your table tyler o'day tyler o'day uh chuck noah ives uh a man named after a country down uh state down south tex yeah he was there for a little bit god damn uh marty eventually when he got there i know trey liam it was a pretty loaded uh it was a pretty loaded trey liam marty's back at hq too punishment poor bastard that absolute poor bastard

my heart goes out to him I was in I was in Nashville this past weekend yeah how was that getting honky tonks I was living it up who'd you go with

solo no you didn't solo mission down there you fucking liar what do you mean I went down there solo Tommy was asking the whole time

are you visiting any friends down there? And I wasn't. I don't believe you. Because he's lying. Oh. You stupid. Who was I there with then?

I don't know. Friends. What friends? You were not there. You were not there just by yourself. I mean, so he did tell me that his wife was on a bachelorette party in a certain city.

And I saw her on her Instagram story. She was. So that part checked out. She was probably on a bachelorette party in a certain city. And I saw on her Instagram story, she was. So that part checked out. She was probably on a bachelorette party in Nashville. No, it was not Nashville. Really? Why would I go to her when she was on a bachelorette party and like spy in the same city? You get mailed to her?

And he sent me a video on the plane of him showing he wasn't sitting next to anyone he knew. It was next to two. We had this conversation Thursday. I was like, what are you doing? No, he went with someone because I remember I made a joke about something last week and he said he was going with some friends. Was it Drake? Were you with Drake?

I was with fucking Drizzy in Nashville. Damn. I was with Jason Aldean down in Nashville. I'm going to Nashville this week. Are you? I'm going to a bachelor party. With who? Joint bachelor, bachelorette party.

What? Yeah. What the fuck? How am I supposed to fuck any hookers, dude? Why not just have that be the wedding? I didn't decide that. Why did they decide that? One of them has such bad trust issues that they shouldn't be getting married.

I don't know. I'm just going down. Don't you think? Yeah. If they're so untrusting that the other one can have a bachelor or bachelorette party without fucking. I think the bigger thing is it's not. At least I know on the bachelor side, it's not like we're all a set group of friends. Like I know the groom and I know I met his cousin once.

But like it's not like it's all a bunch of high school friends or college friends going together. Do you not know the kids that you're going to see? Are they bar school fans? I know the groom. And I've met like one or two. So you only know the groom. And his fiance. It's a group of like 14, 15 people.

And I've met like three of them. So it is. I'm just, you know, I'm gonna have to try to win everyone over. That's what the weekend's about. Can't tell me when everyone's over. You want to bring me? Yeah, you want to come? No.

I asked you to come to Nashville, dude. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Owen, I definitely asked you. I asked you both, and he was like. Oh, no, I couldn't go. I had stuff on Friday and Saturday. I would have come down, bro.

There's no way you were there by yourself. You know what's funny, dude? I hit up Will Compton. Yeah, no response. There's no way you were there by yourself. You know what's funny, dude? I hit up Will Compton. Yeah. No response. That's funny. He's not bussing. He's changed. Yeah, he's not bussing with the boys. I thought he was for the boys. He's bussing against the boys. I just thought he was for the boys. I don't know.

That's funny. That's one little fight with Rogan. Yeah. What is going on with that, Rogan? They made them take down the Aaron Rodgers episode? Did they? I think. Something like that, right? Or is that a joke? joke i don't know that's some fucking bullshit i was with uh actually i don't know if i should say this i'm not gonna say it what why um come on it's the dudes what'd you say it's the dudes. What'd you say?

It's the dudes. I don't know. What is it, like a high profile person? Were you actually with Drake? No, no, no. I wasn't with Drake. Not someone that big. Was it something related to a new project you're doing? I was with Caleb.

And he said that he... No. I was with Caleb, and he said that he... No, and he said that when he goes out with... He was with Aaron Rodgers, and the whole time he was, like, gassing up Glennie Balls, being like, Glennie Balls fucks so much, dude. Glennie Balls, like... Wait, wait, what? Aaron Rodgers? You were with Aaron Rodgers?

No, no, no, no, no. Caleb had gassed up... Oh. Glennie to Aaron Rodgers. Oh, my God. To Aaron Rodgers? No, no, no, no, no. Caleb had gassed up. Oh. Glennie to Aaron Rodgers. Oh, my God. To Aaron Rodgers. And then I think when Glennie Ball, or when Aaron Rodgers went on Bussing with the Boys,

he was like, Glennie does well for himself. Oh, really? This weekend, I stayed at Glennie's house on the shore, and I probably 15 different times, I just hear, what is that? It was the Aaron Rodgers clip hyping up Glennie Ball. He listens to it like 10 times a night. Glennie does well for himself.

Damn. I think he was doing the impression of him, but I think he just makes it his business to gas up Glennie. I forgot that Caleb lives out there now in Nashville. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It all makes sense. Yeah. So not friends, but co-workers. And friends. Brothers. Yeah. Brothers.

Yeah, not friends, but brothers. So what are you guys, you guys starting your podcast up again? Hank was down there too. He was trying to, we wanted to see what the logistics would look like. Fucking A. Nah, bro. What a bummer. Just lost all trust.

Francis is coming back too. Yeah. So you went to Nashville toville to see caleb and francis francis is in like africa right now i know did you see the video i saw a video that he posted like driving along and like kids like sprinting oh yeah i've never seen a white person before just going absolute ape shit way francis is a pretty intense white person i know know. He's the first white person you ever see. The ultimate white person. Yeah. Yeah.

It's probably like when Cortez came to America. At least introduce him to like an Italian or something first. Yeah. A little lower on the scale. A little Peruvian. Someone with a little darker skin. An Argentinian or some shit like that. Don't go full white right after.

Imagine Francis being the first white person you see, dude. That would be horrified. But that's probably the picture of a white person you have in your mind like white jesus right if you're a little kid african and you just hear about white people you're probably picturing someone that looks like someone who's yeah six three two hundred ten pounds with the whitest skin and reddest hair you've ever seen in your face. Like all cheery. Yeah. Super hunky dory. That's hilarious. I know. I want to like see everything that he's doing down there. Like I wish it was like for content because it looks funny as fuck.

You see that picture that he took with the gorilla or something? Yeah. And he was like, so he said the guy told him to wear the mask. Like I couldn't tell if he was joking or if it's like a thing where you don't want to show a gorilla your teeth because it's like they might take it as like a threat. Makes sense. Like you're baring your teeth. But also I feel like they unless they were doing that before.

Yeah. But maybe it was just an extra benefit of masks. Like I realized that the gorillas were just super chill with them. That'd be interesting. We got to take this fucking show on the road, dude. We got to get to Africa or fucking India or some shit like that. Nepal. Tommy.

No, thanks. No. No. i'm off that episode really i don't know it seems nepal yeah it's scary about nepal has like a crate isn't that like everyone was dying there not every there's like two billion people in india what do you mean everyone was dying it was like they got hit like with covid like a motherfucker and then something after that too everyone was dying India is the most populated country it was like they got hit with COVID like a motherfucker

and then something after that too are you just assuming it was India you think over a billion Indian people died I'd say 1.4 conservatively speaking

it's one eighth of the world I think about 1.4 billion Indian people died I'd go to Nepal yeah like Everest K2 no K2's in Pakistan didn't you say that I believe K2's And they're all Indian. More than that. I'd go to Nepal. Yeah. Like Everest. K2?

No, K2's in Pakistan. Didn't you say that? I believe K2's in Pakistan. Pakistan. I'd rather do Africa. Really? Safari. I wouldn't want to do that either, but if you're giving me the choice.

I'm giving you the choice. My dad really wants to go to a safari. He's trying to get my whole family, like a bunch of my cousins and stuff. He's already went on one. It's like, you don't need to go on tworican safaris maybe it was that incredible maybe it was that fucking awesome shower with uh like something that was tape over his mouth what yeah i don't know that's still a thing but like back then wherever he stayed there like be careful with the water everyone the olympics were happening in russia and that one news anchor who was like reporting

on it came on came on the air one day and his eyes and all around his eyes oh bob costas just dark red he had both eyes swollen shut fully swollen should he leave like right after that like i think he went back to america yeah i think he like came on and apologized and said he was eating so much ass that he got pink eye while he was over there in the Olympic Village. He was just going face first in ass. Yeah, his eyes are just dark red. Both eyes.

But you just had to do the broadcast anyway. Why don't they at least give him some sunglasses or something? Imagine him going on with sunglasses. That would look even weirder. It would be better than having him look like that. Why is Bob Costas wearing sunglasses? He'd be like, hey guys, I have pink eye. Just lead with that. But he wants to eyes are the window to the soul if you're a newscaster you gotta look into someone's

eyes it's all about the voice you think so yeah 100 nobody i mean it is pretty important to have a sweet ass voice i'd fucking kill for a low ass voice something buttery me too dude something that sounds like chocolate fondue i was trying to listen to some documentary the other day and the narrator's voice was one of those like Australian dudes, but it's like way over the top. And he was like, why is this guy narrating it? Yeah. They need to get like an inoffensive sounding voice. Dude, it was like, it was literally an offensive amount of Australian. You think he was putting it on?

I honestly, if someone told me he wasn't even Australian and it was like they couldn't find a real narrator. And he's just an Australian actor. Yeah, dude, I need a smooth ass fucking voice. Dude, he was literally like, I'm trying to think. I can't, I don't know if I can do it. How does an Australian accent sound? You do an example. No.

Australia. No. Yeah. Today. No. Today. It was like worse than than it was like so aggressive fuck was it erwin where you was steve erwin because that dude's pretty australian no no no it was like steve erwin times a thousand and all the comments were like what the fuck is with this dude's voice yeah i'll turn that i'll try to put on the freakonomics podcast but that dude's voice is always tough to listen to.

I muscle through, though, because I want to learn so fucking bad. You want to learn? I'm desperate to learn more shit. Listen to a podcast, go on another podcast, spit out the facts. Find a podcast. What is Freakonomics? Is it good? Oh, my God, dude.

You'd love it. It's a good book. I didn't know there was a podcast. I didn't read that in high school. It's like a podcast network. you'd love it it's a good book i didn't know there was a podcast i don't read that in high school it's like a podcast network and then they had a that i think the guy who wrote that also wrote a book called like drug dealer for a day or some shit like that or maybe it's the same publisher i believe maybe i have the one thing i remember from pre-economics like the

one lesson they were like is like abortion is actually good because the babies that were going to be aborted would probably become criminals anyway. You made a life. That was a legitimate chapter. It's like, yeah, I mean, think about it. Like, you know, they're coming into like poor families. Like they'll probably like become criminals. So like save the state some money of having to eventually execute them when they are mass murderers. They they're just like aborted like we're say we're cutting out the criminals yeah the prison system will be overloaded unless you guys do your job and fucking get to hit that plan b hard whatever

for whatever reason that's the one i took away that's how i decided my pro-life or pro-choice take yeah it's an economic purely economic decision and the drug dealer for a day book that they talk about how like being a drug dealer you are like guaranteed to make less than minimum wage even if you work super duper hard it's just bro you ever seen the biggie movie but that yeah i guess you're right he says that did he say it in there or it's either no maybe it was either that or it was the 50 cent movie it was the biggie one yeah and then she found the plate of of uh

of the crack under his bed or whatever no I don't think she ever found that did she I thought the mom oh the mom found it

and she throws it away and he like beatboxes for her he's like yeah it's okay mom I like how that there was like a theme

in the movie of him just getting people like doing the most heinous shit to people and just like beatbox he would like cheat on Faith people and just like beat box. He would like cheat on Faith Evans and just like beat box for us. Like, you remember me?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, all right. That movie was aight. I'll suck you again. Not as good as Get Rich or Die Try. I know that movie is fucking awesome. I know, dude. You love 50 Cent.

I love 50 Cent. 50 Cent's put on some weight in his face. I've noticed recently. He has. I was looking at some pictures of him and Ha Hais you see kanye was calling 50 cent is one of his favorite comedians why did he say that he just did an instagram post talking about his favorite comedians and it was like 50 it started off with himself kanye and then like a couple comedians and then uh 50 was in there oh he said uh kevin hart parentheses in jumanji yeah yeah

that was hilarious that's hilarious dude kanye is not funny oh i disagree bro as a comedian you just don't get it clip that kanye is not funny period and he just definitely surrounds himself our interaction up he surrounds himself with people who are so scared of him that they probably have to laugh at like the jokes he and he definitely like hears someone else say a joke and then retells it as his own joke is there a steam

engine coming to the stop outside just that let's see what the fuck what is it what is it a drone awesome shoot that thing down

Dave actually Dave made a strict no drones in the office rule yeah we need to smack that thing out of the sky and I was next to him

when he did it because Donnie was flying is it Donnie oh two strikes. Should we call Dave? We might want to.

Wonton was flying a drone in the office and then Dave came over and he was like, Donnie, Donnie, no drones in the office. New rule. I remember that. Yeah, that is true. And then he stormed back into his office. How long ago was this?

It was probably last football season. Oh, it was a while ago? Like a year or two. Dude, what the fuck? It's annoying as fuck. It's really annoying. Yeah, we were just getting our fucking flow. Oh my, we're roasting Kanye. I'm gonna

ask whoever that is. He's gotta be a Kanye fan, dude. He definitely heard us getting some spices off about Kanye. Definitely. I hope it's not, Donnie, but it would be hilarious if it was. Damn, dude. Owen's gonna go crack some skulls.

I can't wait to find out who it is. We have to talk shit about it. We are roasting. We're roasting whoever. Oh my God. What? Legitimate idiot. That is the best possible outcome you could have set.

I'll repeat. Fasoli with VR goggles on. What the fuck? Standing in the PMT room. What? And flying a drone? Yep. Well, he'll be fired.

Heads are rolling. Heads are rolling when Dave finds out about this. He's getting that diva tattoo removed right off his leg. Oh, yeah. He's going to have to hard quit after this. No soft quitting for my boy Fasoli. Dude, soft? What is it?

No, it's quiet quitting. Quiet quitting? I was doing a whole deep dive of that right before we started. What did you find out about it? It's just dumb. Is that just someone not working hard? No, it's someone who's not going above and beyond. So not working hard?

Bro. I don't give a fuck if people soft quit or don't soft quit, whatever the fuck. It's quiet. Well, now Ron got in my head. But like billionaires talking about it is ridiculously dumb. What do you mean? Like people at their companies not working as hard as they want them to? Like who was the guy from Shark Tank who did a whole statement about how quiet?

Kevin or Kevin O'Leary? Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary. It's like, dude. What did he say? Too many people are soft quitting? Like how quiet quitting is like ruining your life. It's like, dude.

Fuck you. Well, people have just like people who don't want to work hard, haven't been working hard ever since jobs were created. Yeah. And people are like classic Gen Z. They just have a new name for it. Got their heads in TikTok all day. It should be exciting for those people. If they want to work hard, they could beat everybody up very easily.

Yeah, it is. And there's money to be made on TikTok. If you're getting a TikTok, you're getting that fund. Tommy, I know. How much money have you made off TikTok career? career career career i had a couple days lengthy suspension uh how much did you make on that open sea selfie nfts it's hard it's hard to judge because it's but that was a lot right it's in ethereum not um not that i it's hard to probably a few thousand but it's dependent on the price of ethereum because they sell it in ethereum so i never know how to judge

it so why didn't you sell your ethereum i'm trying i'm in it for the long haul dude ethereum that's future really stupid i would get out i don't think that's going up anytime soon are you sure you're a long haul guy ethereum'd rather have Ethereum than Bitcoin. Let me see your hands. No, those are paper, bro. Or diamonds, bro. No, that's paper. That's paper hands. I've made 33 cents yesterday.

I made 26.86. Total? $2,686. 54 cents. That's not bad. That's pretty good. That's what I'm saying. Fuck a job.

Yeah, we're the only fans. No, this. Fuck a job. This will be out tomorrow. Yeah, tease that. This comes out tomorrow. Wednesday morning. So I'll turn in at 3 p.m. 3 p.m. The Smoke Show on the Bar. So turn out to see me make out with Tico.

Wait, what? No, it's been on OnlyFans all week. But it's coming out on the Smoke Show this week. We did it as a ploy for the Smoke Show. And I told Tommy that I'd quit if he didn't make out with Tico. Because at first he said no, that he wasn't going to make out with Tico. I didn't want to make out with anyone. Were you grabbing ass?

No, he wanted to make out right off the rip. I thought you wanted to make out off the rip. Make out was never the idea. No, he told me who he originally wanted to make out with. And I was like, dude dude that's not gonna happen that's a boss dude yeah who?

how did the other girl? Erica that's not true yes it is it is and I was like dude there's no way uh

what? what? I said I did ask Dave oh you did ask Dave I got you what did Dave say? you'll have to tune into the video to find out

it was explosive and it was sloppy for everyone asking. It was a long kiss. It was a wet kiss. It was a full-on makeout with Tico. I think that you kind of went in gingerly, though. Well, okay. I went in gingerly because as-

She was trying to get after it. I don't know. I thought that everyone was like, oh, Tico's going to go at you. But as we were leaning in, it seemed like she almost thought it was going to be after it. I don't know. I thought that everyone was like, oh, Tico's gonna like go at you. But like as we were leaning in, it seemed like she like almost thought it was like a fake, like gonna be a fake kiss. So then I got a little hesitant and then she did make

the first move, but I was like, alright, she's not clawing at me. So she pulled you in? We yeah, I think she initiated They come together like a fucking Titanic and an iceberg so slowly towards one another. It's the perfect harmony. It could win.

If the VMAs were still popping, it would win kiss of the year. Oh, yeah. It reminds me of that Spider-Man kiss when he's upside down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was hot like that. Except I'm not upside down. Otherwise, very similar. She turned your world upside down.

Upside down. And you got rock hard afterwards. She started twerking on me. Damn. I was very sad. She turned your world upside down. Upside down. And you got rock hard afterwards. He was like running to the bathroom. She started twerking on me. Damn. He was like tucking his boner up into his waistband. Were you worried you were going to get a boner? You wear spandex that day?

No, I could control my boners, dude. I ran the Barstool Smoke Shows account for three years. Damn. I don't think you can control your boners. Oh, I can control my boners. Try to get one. Get one right now. Try to get me one.

Get one right now, then. Okay, I could control. Get one. Try to get one. Get one right now. Get one right now, then. Okay, I could control. Get one. I could probably get one. No. All right. No, no, no. If you get one, I'm going straight to HR.

He's kissing girl employees. He's getting boners in front of all the boys. I want to show you the video. Oh, I've seen the video. Oh, have you? Yeah, I don't want to see it again at all. Come on. You want to see it, Tyler?

No, he has to tune into the smoke show. I was there live. I just didn't move. I didn't watch. I'm saying it could be a good teaser for Tyler. Everyone was watching. Can you pull up the Dropbox I sent you? So let's see how it plays in that form instead of the, you know what I mean?

It's at the very end. No, I'm wondering. Or don't. Okay. I don't know what you're saying. Do people know that you kissed Tico? Yeah. And also how much?

Already? Yes. I think we that you kissed Tico? Yeah. And also how much... Like on the internet already? Yes. I think we've gotten eight or nine new subscribers. So it's not... How many people saw it total? How many people watched the video on OnlyFans?

Can't you see that? I think you can see the numbers of that. Probably eight or nine if I had to guess. No, well, he had 20... I had like 31 subscribers before it. And I was up to like 30. Did anyone make it?

What? Did anyone leak it? For? Did anyone leak it? For a brief second. For a brief second, but we made him take it down. Joey Kamasta leaked it? He put it on his story because he is subscribed to me. Tyler?

Post statistics. His arms were moving like he jumped off a cliff and was trying to slow himself down in the air. Three likes, likes four comments zero dollars and tips let's see tommy tommy tommy weak joey with a bunch of hearts tommy came dangerously close to getting jumped up there to getting what shoved up shoved up there means a boner oh okay interesting it's uh it's a boner. Oh, okay. Interesting. It's a must-watch episode, I'd say. I'd say it's the best smoke show since the party. I agree.

Since the party episode. Party was great. While we're also teasing Tommy, you're in Son of a Boy Dad vlog coming out on Thursday. Is it tomorrow for the people at home? Yes. I'm not recording this. You guys can finish talking about it. Tomorrow for the people at home. As in I don't know what we're recording this for. You guys can finish talking about it. Tomorrow for the people at home.

As in, it's Wednesday. It is Wednesday. There's a big bit where everyone's wearing sunglasses the whole time. And I think, Tommy, were yours Shady Rays? I think they were Shady Rays. They were Shady Rays. I knew they were Shady Rays.

I'm right for the trip. Yeah, Shady Rays sunglasses. Let's talk Shady Rays. Enough of the chit-chat. Let's talk Shady Rays. We've been fucking busting it up for how long? Let's pay some of these bills. Shady Rays sunglasses offer an industry-best combination of fit, style, and performance

without the big brand price tag. You could be a Hollywood Tommy of your own. You could be Hollywood Sass. You put on some Shady Rays and suddenly you're Hollywood you. It doesn't stop at the quality. Shady rays have the most insane protection program in all of eyewear. Every pair is backed by lost and broken replacements. Wow.

So if you lose or break your pair, even on day one, they'll send you a brand new pair where with confidence, because shady rays as you're back long after you purchase. Exclusive for our listeners. Shady Rays is giving out the very best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com. Use code SUN for 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. And don't forget to wear some sunglasses in the wintertime.

Or if you're out in LA, it's sunny all the time. I think sunglasses look the coolest in the wintertime. They do look pretty fucking dope. They look swag. Yeah. If you're when you're on the ski. Shady Rays. In the club. Oh, yeah. I'm always wearing Shady Rays in the wintertime. They do look pretty fucking dope. They look swag. Shady Rays. In the club.

Oh yeah. I'm always wearing Shady Rays in the club. Chris Pine put on his Shady Rays. Shady Rays would be a good name for a club. Oh shit. A beach club? I think it's time for Shady Rays to expand. So there's Rays in New York City. Maybe they can open up a sister bar. Shady Rays. It's just like a

dirtier version of Rays. No dirty they don't need to be a sister bar no they're they're a brother bar they're they have bars they don't need to be affiliated with rays at all i think they need their own brand shady rays and then the sun and then the logo could be like two sunglasses like two lenses you know two sunglasses and each of the sunglasses are drinking a beer off oh and 50 50 off and both of them yeah that'd be fucking fire you gotta get some but yeah watch this uh video because we um it's a behind the scenes for all all the tacos and it was a fun trip i mean it was just guys goofing yeah we're lucky that we didn't fucking swim and we one of us would have probably drowned we

roughhouse so much you were roughhousing we were swim. One of us would have probably drowned. We roughhoused so much. We were roughhousing. We were eating a lot. An interesting amount. We would have sunk to the bottom of the ocean. I started wondering if it was getting to a point where it was too much roughhousing. Yeah. Tommy fucking was throwing people in the pool with their fucking full outfits and their

phones on. Yeah, Tommy. Tommy the roughhouser. Tommy was trying to take everyone to brothels. Yeah, he was. I mean, we already talked about this the last time I was on. We can't do this again but it was not a brothel okay bro whatever you say all right whatever you say

salute you absolute bastard so oh what were you gonna say something no no no no no what were you gonna say no no no no no breach i was gonna ask tommy about going on all these other podcasts it's almost like a slap in the face the son of a boy dad what other podcasts have i about going on all these other podcasts. It's almost like a slap in the face to Son of a Boy, Dad. What other podcasts have I been going on? You were on one that was all over the Barstool Instagram. LPV and Sly? Yeah. I mean, I'm not on Son of a Boy. I give my talents to anyone who asks.

I'm going to ask you to stop going on other podcasts. Yeah, we're going to ask you. It's time to be exclusive. I like to spread my brand. No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys don't go on any other podcast? It was bad for your brand. I don't think I've ever been on another podcast. Me neither. In my life. You came on the bracket a couple

weeks ago. I'm son of a boy dad. I've just been on Natalie Cuomo's podcast. I've been on Colm Terrell's podcast. You're going out of network. You're going on a podcast I won't say. What? I'm a man of the independent people. No, I was asking what about that?

The podcast he won't say? What? I thought you were going on a podcast, but I didn't want to say what it was. He's giving you the same look. That's the same look you gave when you got drafted into the NFL. Oh, I know what you're talking about now.

I don't even know if that's ever going to happen. Rogies. It's going to happen. Different podcast. It's not a different podcast. It's my Rogan though. Ain't that the truth? Chrissy D? No. I think I know her.

Tiger Bell. Can I guess it? No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't. Don't, don't, don't, don't. That'll spoil it. Like this will never happen. And we don't need it.

That's not a big deal. Is it Anthony Huberman's? It is. The health and fitness podcast. Wake up with Malcolm Gladwell. You're going to go to on Freakonomics to present a counter case against abortions. Actually, these babies haven't done anything yet. Damn.

I can't believe they just said that in Freakonomics. I should probably make a fact check that. No, I've seen that. That's a chapter in Freakonomics. Okay. Yeah. From 2000. So it's a different time.

I don't think I've ever used that or heard of that. It's a book that turned into a whole big fucking thing. It's like kind of the genre like Malcolm Gladwell uses where it's just like cool facts as writing it's cool weird organization of facts as writing i almost got a book the other day called it was like uh it was like a like a like a little bit about like something i was like a book about everything or something like about the whole world a little bit about everything knowledge about everything i don't know damn we should have got it i just looked up books to make me smarter you gotta get some habits bro we'll get better together fuck off one percent every day fuck off i feel like you haven't read anything new from that book because you're still just

spitting the same one percent every day yeah they just ordered it yesterday you did you've been talking about it for months back page drivel i Why don't you look at the preview? I told everyone I was going to get it, and now I actually got it. And then maybe I'll read it. Maybe I'll read on my flight down to Nashville. By the time I get back from Nashville, it'll be 4% better. What day are you leaving for Nashville? Thursday night. Okay.

Should we go? No, I've got to go to Phoenix, Arizona, where I will be this weekend. When are you going? I don't know, man. It's fucking bullshit, bro. I just don't fucking know anymore i'll be in phoenix arizona though performing my uh art and um connor mook will be there with me alongside hosting uh thursday one show two shows friday two shows saturday so come on down out to connor i was

in the car the other day with trent and me and trent uh gave a compliment about you i won't repeat it or ever say it to your face but just know and i'll tell her on after the show no tell me no tell me now we were like we were impressed we're like how does sass sell out shows in like fucking phoenix arizona like how do crazy well uh tickets to phoenix arizona not selling too strong well whatever like arlington virginia you sold out pretty random places arlington virginia i still don't know why that happened. That's the most I've ever sold.

Or even, where were you a couple weeks ago? Atlanta? Yeah, Atlanta sold well. But it's just big cities. But is that, what's the breakdown of like people buying the tickets to be like, I want to go see a little sass first. I want to go to a comedy show and you're performing. Well, Atlanta and Arlington were not in comedy clubs.

They were in like venues. So there was no one there. Everybody wants to see s everyone was there but like providence didn't sell well at all because the school my like demographic was not they were no one was there black men so so black dudes love sass once you see him live black dudes love his shit they like hype him up like they're at Arsenio Hall. Like 90s style. They hype him up, dude. It's fucking fire. But that was a lot of people who just went to see a comedy show, and those shows did not go that well.

Gotcha. There's like a dozen schools in Providence. You should go back. If you're selling out tickets in Phoenix, Arizona, that's impressive. Well, Phoenix, Arizona probably won't. All right, Atlanta, whatever. Yeah, Atlanta sold out. It is impressive Phoenix, Arizona. That's impressive. Phoenix, Arizona probably won't. Atlanta, whatever. Atlanta sold out. It is impressive. Thank you. Take the compliment. Thanks. Take that shit.

What else did you and Trent talk about? What else were you guys gossiping about? They're like the gossip duo. When we get together, nothing is off limits. And Frankie. If you mix in Frankie too, it gets out of hand. have all the shit they have all the fucking inside and they like to play like guessing games too yeah what

come up to you they'll come up to you and be like guess who did this yeah and then you'll guess because you've ever heard it because they've been talking about it for 45 minutes and they're like how the fuck did you know that, dude? You guys are bad at gossiping. You don't hear the stuff that we don't want you to hear. No, I hear everything that you're talking about. You do not. You just assume.

Well, give an example of a thing. I don't know. I'm actually, I'm looking for some good juice right now. I'm dried up. My gossip bowl is dried up right now. Yeah, you need some new tea. I'm going to text you one right now. I miss tea.

Don't say it out loud. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you going to text it to me too? No. The fuck? Well, you don't gossip. The fuck is going on? You're not a gossip.

Unless Trent's blabbing his cat lips about it. I'm like the king of gossip. I just get all trickle-down gossip. I don't like to put myself in the middle of it like Tommy. Lately, we've just been letting it run off just choosing positivity yeah i like to find out here that uh i didn't know that was fully true yeah that's good that's good stuff good it's good gossip it's it's bad news yeah bro who was who what the fuck are you guys talking about see isn't this gone ah i don't care i'll move on we went to tmz and they said no more pmt sad

dude i got on stage and rapped while i was in uh nashville this weekend oh hell yeah with jelly roll yeah it was me and jelly so you just went there to hang with jay no i didn't even link up with jr he was in kc kansas city you know jr on kc yeah so we went to this dude's um like his his like warehouse caleb was like you're gonna fucking love this dude and this guy came and picked us up in a limousine from 1996 with just like a bunch of alcohol in it like he was like waiting for for like a time to come pick up caleb we went to this warehouse and it was just this guy's warehouse that he had built out completely of his own hand he like made these like spiral staircases that he welded just had like all these specific weird quirky creepy like rooms throughout the entire warehouse and he just he had

a stage and he's like dude i'm a fucking artist but uh i want you to get up there and rap i was like no i don't want to do that but uh the boys cajoled me into doing it it wasn't theo vaughn but you hang out with theo no not at all damn is he down there uh yeah caleb was friends with him i think oh really yeah no it was a dude named cow and uh i got up on stage and freestyle rap for the crowd. First time I've been on stage rapping like that for like five or six years. Damn. They were gassing me up. It was fun as fuck.

That's sick. So when you freestyle like that, do you have just bars in the memory bank? They got a couple bars. They got a couple bars lined up. Completely nothing in the memory bank. All rappers keep a couple just on deck. Guarantee it was nothing off the bank. They walk into a room and they observe for like 30 seconds and they write a couple

just in case anyone asks them to spit. It's like you and jokes in case anyone ever asks you to spit. Oh yeah, I got six lined up right now. Dude, it's like my worst... I don't have any talents. Just having someone put you on the spot and ask you to rap

is like the most uncomfortable and worst thing ever. Was it white dudes? Yeah, it was just the people that we were hanging out with down there. Was it all white dudes? Yeah, it was all white folks. How does it feel? If you just dropped an N-bomb in, they would have gone nuts. They did.

They loved it. It was exactly what they were looking for. One time at Jackson State, I was doing a post-show for the season one of their show, and Dion talks to the team like he's just the coach addressing the team, like an episode of Hard Knocks.

And he was like, and Roan, like you're going to battle rap one of our guys. Oh Jesus. And he made me do it on the spot, like right there in front of everybody, just like nothing prepared. And like,

I wasn't good at all. Really? Yeah. Did you drop the N word there as well? Yeah. And they liked it way less. And I don't know why. I don't understand why. Wait, did the kid beat you?

I mean, I... He came for the crown? He, uh, it was just like a complete... Was it Josh Prey? Yeah. Yeah. He's like, in Rome, we got a special guest. Josh Prey comes out. Josh Prey walks out through the smoke. But they had us, like... Don't call me a bitch, though. Like, the guy was fat, so I eventually just

started making jokes about him having titties and shit like that and that got the crowd going but uh it was uh it was tough to be put on the spot like that that he's just like you battle rap this guy because that's not how it works you like prepare for it or whatever it's been like no but i couldn't i was in front of like the whole team i like traveled down there to do it he's like he's a battle rapper he's like he says he's like a champion or whatever i I was like, damn it, man. That sucks, too. Was the other guy an experienced battle rapper? No, he's on the Jackson State football team. So way harder for him than for you.

But he was a good freestyler. Freestyling's different than battling. He just got a nice rhythm. I was trying to hit punchlines and shit like that. I was trying to do set-up, punch, set-up, punch, talking about stuff on his outfit. He had a little bounce to it um it was tough it i don't i don't think that i lost but i won i didn't do great i went back i went on a deep dive of your

rap battles the other night recently as well yeah and i was watching the old ones like the first the first one i watched you were zero and zero against illegal yeah yeah that was the first one i'm watching it and like halfway through i just see out of the corner of my eye mike wallace yeah in the background dude i will never be able to look at him the same why he's got this like fit like flat cap on all the way up on his head turned around he's got this like big ass blue shirt on with like sag in his pants hell yeah and he's got this like big ass blue shirt on with like sag in his pants. Hell yeah. And he's just like He's gassing me up in a rap battle.

That's what dudes are supposed to do in a rap battle. They're supposed to gas you. You smoked that dude though. Did he retire? Yeah. That was the last battle he ever did. I was watching it and I started feeling bad. I was like dude you were just straight up ruining people's lives. Over and over again. Blizzard? Yeah. Did he quit after that? just like straight up ruining people's lives over and over again yeah blizzard yeah yeah did he or

did he quit after that yeah he put on some lbs i saw that yeah have you seen him recently yeah yeah he's a big boy yeah dq and he was like a cute little kid at first i know like man that's gonna be me in a couple years no no gross all over it's never gonna go away no blizzard's actually the man. And he's a talented producer, but he doesn't really do rap battles anymore. Yeah, he was good. I mean, he was, I thought he was the best competition I'd seen you have. You think so?

Yeah, I thought he was good. Yeah, he had some shit in there. Yeah. With his little British accent. Yeah. But I was super mean to him. You were really mean to him. Yeah.

You destroyed him. Yeah. On his own, his home turf too. I know. Like he was putting on for london yeah and oh and ron came with the fucking american flag sweater on when did you first like that was your first battle rap when was your first like oh i'm just gonna make fun of this person rap um i used so i just watched a lot of battle raps i was like watching battle

raps before i did it so when i learned how to rap it was like in a way of making fun of people it was like the shit that i was studying was like people who made made fun of people in the as their style of rap what was the name of the rapper that uh first viral video charles hamilton charles i was just watching dudes rap there's something called the world rap championships and i'd like get up every morning in college and like watch the new episodes that came out it was like a fucking two-on-two acapella rap tournament of all these dudes that wound up becoming battle rappers later on down the road just locked in on battle rap i also the day i remembered i was like oh yeah roan like had made a full-ass rap album that i have on my phone i have it on my apple music yeah like steak yeah fondue that was a song on yeah yeah yeah dude yeah that's what i want my voice to

see a full album too yeah yeah multiple full albums that's when roan was he was just this abstract talented dude that i i kind of knew worked at barstool now look at the three of us we had tacos together yeah we're in a fantasy league together three of us do fantasy we're living the one where you wear you just have his abraham lincoln and the guy leaves yeah that was hilarious too daylight yeah does he suck uh he's he's just a crazy person but he's like very intricate with his writing style but uh he tried to like poop on stage one time like he's just a fucking psychopath like he literally pulled his pants down and like strained until he could shit and uh like until two security guards dragged him off stage yeah when he walked out i thought when you said that he walked out i thought like you

destroyed him and he left but he just trained up just dips yeah he went first and then he during his first round he just left right in the middle of it yeah walks right out through the middle of the crowd like jumps off stage into the crowd and leaves it was my first and only battle in philly i like had packed out the whole crowd of like people from home and then he just left that one was hilarious but it was like uncomfortable yeah it was super uncomfortable yeah it looked uncomfortable yeah i just had to wrap to an empty empty stage. For like 20 minutes. Yeah, and there's this dude who came up.

He's like, I'll stand in for him. I was like, this dude's the fucking man. And then he got found guilty of pedophilia. That was on stage. And he killed himself. He didn't have a brain tumor. Yeah, yeah. That's a callback joke.

Go check out the last episode. That's a callback joke. Yeah, it is. The last time I was on it. Go check out the last episode. It's a fucking banger. That's a normal, it's more weird to say banger. Banger. Dude, no one says banger. He said soft G.

A soft G would be banger. Banger. Where are you getting the G? Banger. It's banger. That's a soft G. It's a banger. Ranger.

Banger. Banger. Banger. No, a soft G would be banger. you get in the j banger it's banger that's a soft g it's a banger banger banger banger no a soft g would be banger that would be a soft urge you know a soft g why you got a hard g in yours tony if you're saying banger that's the hardest g could be that's the softest g can be banger banger that's the hardest b a G can be. Bangier. Bangger. That's the hardest a G can be. You're just saying banger. Just do less with the G. So you want a softer, you know, soft G. Just do less with the G.

Bangier. Yeah, you're doing too much. Bangier. Stick to hard Ds, brother. Oh, yeah. I was listening to a banger the other day. Yeah, that sounds good. That was way closer.

You got it. I was wearing some bird dogs the other day. Hell yeah. I was wearing some bird dogs the other day. Yeah, that sounds good. That was way closer. You got it. I was wearing some bird dogs the other day. I was wearing some bird dogs the other day. Hell yeah. Oh, they gave us license to riff and rated R. Oh, shit fuck.

It goes, yeah, it says kind of riff off this built-in underwear. I don't know. Wait, that's all it says? Just license to riff? It says riff off this built-in underwear. I don't know. Wait, that's all it says? Just license to riff? It says riff off this. Oh, it's R-rated, too.

They don't even want us to talk about the product. Just riff. You can show cock on this ad. Tommy, is it cool if I show the picture of you inserting into that girl? Yeah, yeah. Show them. It's just one still shot. Show the cock and the pee.

Pussy. I can say it. It's just a single still shot or i could just show your bulge you can't say pussy show the cock and the p i could just show your print in the stretch khaki slacks that feel like sweats that you can wear to work i could show a picture of those that's what i was wearing that was on the floor of the girl's apartment along with my pineapple shirt, the pineapple shirt that I got you. And I heard that you're, that you were also wearing joggers that you also took off simultaneously

outside of that. And I heard you also like to wear them literally anywhere and feel comfortable while wearing them. Yeah. I was wearing them to the bars. I was wearing them to the beach. And I heard you also like to wear all of those, and you can find them on birddogs.com.

All of them can be found on birddogs.com. And if you go to birddogs.com and you enter promo code SUN, they throw in a fucking free Bird Dogs tumbler. It's an insulated Yeti mug. They copied them exactly, and it's free. Yeti sells them for like 35 bucks so that's a incredible value birddogs.com promo code sun boom free bird dogs tumblr with your pair of bird dogs the most comfortable shorts with built-in liners feel the comfort of the built-in liners today

and i'm not messing around you need these these this is a uh apex product. This is good. This is top of the mountain stuff. And he's not playing. And I'm not playing. I'm done saying I'm done playing. I'm done saying I'm done playing. Harry Styles, that bitch. He spit on me. Ah, bars.

Yeah, spitting like Harry Styles. I'm spitting like Harry Styles on Christopher Prime. Christopher Prime. like harry styles i'm spitting like harry styles on christopher prime christopher prime uh optimus prime in this bitch uh that's not wait isn't his name what's his name optimus prime is his name christopher prime no it's chris prine chris pine christopher pine optimus prime christopher pine damn time is it hard nine is it harder jason sudeikis that Optimus Prime. Christopher Pine. Damn. Time. Is it hard?

Nine. Is it harder? It's old Jason Sudeikis. That bitch mine. So it's not hard. Shit. Tommy. Tommy, when did you start rapping?

When you start spitting. What did you used to do? I don't know. 11 seconds ago. I did actually have, I wish I could find that I've gone back when I was like I don't know nine

I was calling myself Reesey the rapper and I was trying to write raps on like a word doc uh uh Reesey's puffs Reesey's puffs it did not go far

who did what did you what was your inspiration I liked the little Bow Wow Bow Wow might have gone off that was your favorite rapper Bow Wow

I loved Bow Wow yeah Josh Trey Josh Prey was just tweeting about Bow Wow? I loved Bow Wow. Yeah. Josh Trey, Josh Prey was just tweeting about Bow Wow. People were shitting on him yesterday. He was trending. I know.

And Josh Prey was like, don't shit on Lil Bow Wow. He has more money than you. He gets more bitches than you, et cetera, et cetera. So you and Josh Prey, think alike. We hate you.

I know. Yeah, yeah. He could outspit you. That dude, he gets tagged on anything that's like that i ever post i know he will for the next like 10 years i know i feel bad um how did it go with your rapper king you best not miss i know no you can't back down um how's your how did your uh

not well i i nothing ever became of it besides maybe three songs written down on a word doc but you were nine. So you're prodigious. Yeah, basically, I guess. You could say I'm a what if. Yeah. I'm one of the greatest what ifs in entertainment history. You're like the Mozart of Long Island.

Yeah. I used to draw rap and what my album covers would look like. But I never actually tried to make music. Really? I used to play a lot of instruments. Really? What were some of the covers? Yeah, what were the covers like? You couldn't handle that shit? What was it? Like hell?

Like a skeleton? A lot of hell shit. Or was it pornographic? A couple pornographics. Really? No, it was like in like 5th grade, I think. Terry was in hell, dude. There was a rapper from Philly who made his album cover. He drew it himself.

He made a, he did a drawing of Biggie fucking Tupac. That's hilarious. People were furious. Really? Asad, have you ever seen this? That's funny. Dude, pull it up. It's so preposterous.

Like people were up in arms about this shit. They were so fucking mad. Or it's either Biggie fucking T people were up in arms about this shit they were so fucking mad or it's either Biggie fucking Tupac or Tupac fucking Biggie but there was like graphic dick and butt do you have it was it shit like that no

is that it yes it's a pretty good rap album damn that's a pretty good rap album. Damn, that's a good drop. Oh, no, it's Tupac fucking Biggie. Yeah. When did I say Biggie fucking?

Or did you? I thought you said Biggie fucking Tupac. It's Tupac fucking Biggie. Doggy style, too. Damn. Of course, dude. In like a shitty hotel room. Why would they, why would people get mad about that?

That's funny. I don't think they do. I think that is, I think people think it's disrespectful of legends. Yeah. Tupac's not. Tupac ain't no goat. they do. I think people think it's disrespectful of legends. Tupac's not. Tupac ain't no goat. Imagine if someone made a podcast cover of you fucking around. That would be funny as thumbnail for this week. That would be hilarious.

Should we give them an actual something to base it off of? Yeah, do that drawing but with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just put our faces on it. Make me the sloppiest fuck though. Make me Biggie. Make me fat and Biggie. Need this drawing, but with sass and wrong.

Yeah, yeah. Or just tomorrow. Think of Biggie and Duvac on to fuck each other. Damn, I'm dying to know what some of your album art looked like probably some dumb shit i think it was all like baseball fields and stuff that is dumb you're right yeah baseball field yeah what was it about about like uh the album

was about about making a bunch of hits there was no premise i told you i just drew things then i drew like the explicit logo on the side and i was like dude this is fucking tough i mean wasn't that a meme like a couple years ago like just putting explicit logos on people yeah like they do it with like benny the butcher and kendrick lamar yeah like i think you were ahead of the curve i was you were super ahead of the curve yeah and you said you played some instruments too oh yeah i played clarinet and piano. Oh, no way. Those are massive rap instruments.

Yeah. I like cue instruments. Clarinets, uh, clarinet sucked. Why? It was hard to do? It hurt your mouth if you played for too long.

Like I was sucking dick. I'm looking up rap songs. Tupac would never fuck you. I'm looking up rap songs That feature the clarinet Bad and Bougie Oh wow That's a hit

A lot of famous songs Are played by Night Swimmer By R.E.M. Free for For Free by Joni Mitchell Jenny Ren by There's a lot

America by Simon and Garfunkel Damn Bro that could've been you That could've been me It's not a rap song No Simon and Garfunkel Damn Bro that could've been you That could've been me It's not a rap song No Simon and Garfunkel

Would be a good rap Group Yeah it would Like Garfunkel and Oates Or something like that Isn't that a show Garfin on these dicks Garfin and dicks

Yeah Garfin and dicks Would be a sick rap group That would be sick That is good as shit That would be hard Fuck that's such Hard body rap shit God damn Yeah, Garfin and Dix would be a sick rap group. That would be sick. That is good as shit. That would be hard. Fuck, that's such hard body rap shit. God damn.

I'm going to a wedding in the Outer Banks, North Carolina this weekend. Person, why are you trying to get me to go to Nashville then? With Tommy. You're fraught. I was trying to get you to go to Nashville last weekend with me or this weekend with Tommy. No, I can't. I'm going to Phoenix. I know.

I know this. I know. So we'm going to Phoenix. I know. I know this. I know. We're going to be all over the map. Where are you going to be? Oh, you're going to that Patrick Beverly function? That's going to be crazy. Going to the fucking function. You're going to have to show up to that just blackout drunk if you want to feel comfortable

at all. I don't know what I'm doing. It's going to be like a ripper. Connie will probably be there. With Pat Bev? What's it, Pat Bev's homecoming party? Mike will probably be there. Obes? Yeah, Obes is out there. He'll be taking pictures. Is it just you going? Who else are you going? Edwin.

The big two. Edwin and Tyler. Two-pack and Biggie of our day. Yeah, we know. Very true. We'll cover you and Edwin and Tyler two pack and biggie of our day yeah we know very true cover you and Edwin fuck are you guys flying first class

I'm surprised Pat's not sending them a jet he should he just got a fucking fat contract where aren't you going I'm going to this wedding in the Outer Banks

come on bro whose wedding is it did you invite Pat my boy Josh Fat contract. Why aren't you gone? I'm going to this wedding. In the Outer Banks. Come on, bro. Whose wedding is it? Did you invite Pat? My boy Josh. Right? Yeah. He's getting married?

To the game. I'm going to get out there and fucking chill with him. I've never been to Outer Banks, though. I'm not trying to miss fucking NFL football getting back, dude. But I don't know what I'm going to do. I got an 8.30 flight back Sunday just so I can get back and watch week one.

I can't miss the action. AM? Yeah. Dude, you're a man. Yeah. That is man. It's a easy fight. Isn't there a fight

this weekend? Canelo's in... Is it? Or is that next weekend? I'm not sure. Canelo Triple G is the 17th. I thought Nate Diaz was... I think it might be this weekend.

Damn. I think it's the 10th. Are you serious? Yeah. Holy fuck. We got to buy that PPV. Yeah. When are you coming back from Phoenix?

Sunday. So you're going to miss all NFL? Yeah, unfortunately. You want me to tape the Pats? Yeah. Pats Dolphins. Please do. Who do you got? I like Dolphins straight up. I haven't watched a Patriots game since.

Dolphins are? Yeah. Well, I like them with the points then. I haven't watched the Patriots since TB12 left. Yeah, you're loyal. You're loyal to TB12. You heard him and Giselle are on the rocks. I did, yeah. That's why he looked like he was fucking shooting black tar heroin for the last six months yeah because she keeps on making him get surgeries fucking video dude he doesn't want to get any more surgeries and she keeps on

making him it looks like he was swallowing his cheeks he i know she's forcing him under the knife probably he's like four percent body fat and she's like let's just get you down to two that's the trade-off let's just get you down to 2 let's just get you down to 2 let's get you down to a healthy 2% body fat if you're ugly you're fat as fuck yeah you didn't win the superbowl last year we need you skinnier

yeah how do you think we're going to sell the pyramid scheme if we don't have you on 2% body fat his face looks crazy too it looks like a fucking Hugo Boss model. Yeah, he looks unhealthy. Yeah. Looks like he's sucking in his cheeks. Fucking Christian Bale in that one movie.

The Machinist? Yeah. The Machinist. Yeah. Just too skinny. I can't relate to that reference. That's a good reference. Adrian Brody in The Penist. I just smiled. I would have loved that reference. What's good with the Giants this year? They're going to suck. They'll probably be just good enough to I just smile I smile I would love that reference what's good with the Giants this year they're gonna suck

they'll probably be just good enough to like not get a top pick but also not make the playoffs yeah that fucking sucks yeah I got Saquon on the fantasy team though bro

I mean you got Saquon your team is booty cheeks if we're being honest cause they cause they have one guy from the Giants no your team is

fucking booty cheeks I was looking at it earlier wait Saquon's on the Giants yeah Saquon's on the Giants. No, your team is fucking booty cheeks. I was looking at it earlier. Wait, Saquon's on the Giants? Yeah, Saquon's on the Giants. Remember when we saw Saquon at Penn State? That's my goat. Where was he recently? Oh, he was at the Giants.

No, was he at the Serena Williams match? Oh, yeah. Your goat, he was following the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was super intense. He's going to have a crazy year this year. Don't you think? He's that crazy motherfucker. I don't know. I've been waiting

for this year. The way he watches tennis? He's that crazy motherfucker. I saw him chugging at Wimbledon. We saw him at Penn State and he ran by us and we were like, yo, Saquon! And then he just

ran right by he kind of yeah I kind of didn't fuck with that at all I'll be honest he's a superstar yeah just gotta let the superstar be the superstar he probably fucks a lot he likes to pick up incredibly average

and like 310 DJ's is incredibly average? It's a fun time. It's not where you'd expect Saquon to be. Did you see him there? No. Do you scoop girls there? Someone there was like.

Do you swim in the same pool as him? Same talent pool? Me and Saquon? We're probably eskies. Why did you pronounce his last name differently? What do you mean that says it like me and say hua

that's his Ebonics voice that's how I always talk you code switch you code switch yeah me and say hua me and Kwan hua

I just call him Kwan me and Kwan we eskies dude that's racist I hope you get how is that racist I hope you get a fat cancellation

in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that in the man after that you get a fat cancellation in the mail after that. A scarlet letter after this. Big old C on your neck. Big old R. Just making me stronger. They're going to pull your producer from short porch. Yeah. They're going to pull it.

They've taken everything from me already. Oh, what? Are they going to let me stop thinking? They're going to pull the Thursday Thoughts producer. No more smoke show. We're actually having Caroline take over the smoke show. She's going to be the star of it now. You can start putting this up on Vimeo or something if you want,

but it's not going to be on YouTube anymore. We're thinking you could blog maybe Nick's thoughts. Oh, fuck. Good episode. We're done, bro? I was just getting warmed up. Time is it? Seven o'clock. Yeah, seven o'clock yes i mean i'll take an

intermission i gotta go home and start studying murders for the rest of the night i know dude last night i got uh legitimately scared of the murders of the murders i had to lock my dormant in the middle of the night were you off drugs or what were you off melatonin or something no dead sober damn didn't fall asleep getting scared sober is a tough look as an adult i felt like such a pussy but i couldn't i was so dude because i was at the end of this or in the second season that they're like referencing this one killer the btk killer but they never the show doesn't finish so it kind of just ends abruptly like at the end of the second season like it doesn't really because you're like it leads it on like you're expecting a third season and

and then I looked up the BTK killer dude is fucking horrifying what is what's his deal what was he doing he like kills people and then he like dresses up like a girl and like a mask and like takes Polaroids of himself and stuff and like the Polaroids are online and I like

instantly regretted looking it up. And I was like, why did I just do that? Damn. And all the people on the Mindhunter Reddit were like, don't look it up. Whenever you go out. Fuck it, I'm looking it up. Like when you walk around at night after something like that and the streets are like eerily quiet, doesn't it make it a little bit more spooky?

Yeah. I don't really know. Just the pictures were scarred into my brain and probably will be tonight too. Probably going to be scared again. We'll describe them a little bit more so you can refresh your memory. I don't really know. Just the pictures were scarred into my brain and probably will be tonight, too. Probably going to be scared again. We'll describe them a little bit more so you can refresh your memory. Why not? Just look them up yourself. No, I just want to hear what they're like from you.

No, they're gross. Really? Are you thinking about them right now? No, not really. I just really want to make you access that memory again. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't scare me in the middle of the day. It's almost night. Yeah.

Bro, turn the lights back on. Sass just pissed himself. Tommy got a boner. Tommy's hard. It's all it takes. Just turning off the lights. Gotta do jokes. Before we end though

I gotta hit a RIP to my boy Pat's day the donation you wanna throw that out there yeah dude we'll throw that in the bio too yeah we gotta throw the donation in the bio cause it's just fucked for his like they've hit their goal but like their goal was low for like

a lifetime of looking after his two kids like his son turned five last week so low for like a lifetime of looking after his two kids. Like his son turned five last week. So it's like a million dollars. It should be. Yeah. A ton of money. And,

um, he was the man, dude, he was the nicest dude ever. He was a super nice guy. Glad you guys got to meet him. Glad he got to come into barstool. Um,

I also want to make sure he shot a show called unreasonable Rob. And, I want to make sure that that comes out. Um, he was, it was in the edit. He had done, he was done shooting the first or the second season of this show.

And I just, um, like if it were me and I did something creatively, God forbid something happened. I want it to come out. And I think that, uh, whatever he did should come out.

Um, people loved him, dude. Fucking Drake, uh, post about him dude. Fucking Drake posts about him. Fucking Eminem posts about him. Eminem never tweets. No, no, he doesn't ever. It's fucking sweet for him.

He came on Son of a Boy Dad. Came in the office. Was the man. So salute to Pat Stay. We definitely miss you. Definitely dedicate the shit to you. Awesome. All right. Cool definitely miss you. Definitely dedicate the shit to you. Awesome. All right.

Cool. See you guys next week.