Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 81 - The Red Coats are Coming

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 81 - The Red Coats are Coming - Sas takes a 6 hour solo drive to Rochester, Rone gets Sas a "gift?" from Detroit, sometimes all you need is a turkey sandwich, Jefferey Dahmer...bad guy, and Rone is going to chill with the Lumineers this weekend. - Ad: Shady Rays: Get 50% OFF 2+ pairs of Adult Non-Prescription Sunglasses at https://barstool.link/shadyraysBSS with code SON - Ad: Gametime: Download the Gametime app and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). - Ad: Rhoback: Go to https://barstool.link/RhobackBSS and use the code “SON” for 20% off your first purchase - Ad: Southern Comfort: Learn more at https://barstool.link/SouthernComfortBSSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. A podcast where we get fucking busy giving each other gifts. We get busy. We, uh, yeah, we're throwing guff. Guff or gifts?

Guffs. I brought gifts. You have guff? I thought that's what you were saying. No, gifts. Gifts? Yeah. I don't have any gifts. Well, I got one for you, brother.

Oh, that's awesome what is it it's time for a haircut brother yeah it is time for a haircut i actually i can finally get one now because my rash is like clearing up completely i didn't want to go because it was getting bad on my neck again last week but i got some steroid cream which is like you're on roids right now yeah it's actually kind of frustrating yeah look at it because it went away like it's it's still a little bit on my neck but not bad and even on my arms and my chest's going away and dude i went to the doctor multiple times being like is there anything you guys can give me to help it go away and they were like no and then they finally give me something and it goes away it

went away in like one day they gave you the antidote yeah i was like why didn't you guys give me this a month ago this old thing yeah that's so fucked up why are they holding out maybe they just wanted you to suffer i know and i asked if they could give me an oral steroid and they acted like i was fucking nuts they gave you like no no no no none of that but i was like it was same thing it's i mean it's my fault for going to these urgent cares expecting to like get real doctor service because i went when i was in, I had pink eye bad and I went to the, I went to like the school, like urgent care and my eye was like dark red and they were like, you don't want the eye drops.

They're like, you don't want any of that. They were like, yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I called my mom and she was like, why would you not want the eye drops? So I got them like a week later and I went away like overnight. So you just suffered with that's fucking gross, dude. Yeah. Urgent cares have no idea what they're talking about. Now, my, I mean, my doc, the, one of the, one of the ones I went to, the lady was very nice and helpful, but they still just didn't prescribe me anything which would have been helpful i didn't even know what urgent care was until covid tests came out

i never had been in an urgent care really i went to an urgent care like my back hurt and they're like yeah we can't help you yeah there's a lot of they they don't really do like it's mostly just for like what is it for cold covid is probably that's all it's for covid they must have been loving it during covid yeah i mean dmd was fucking popping yeah it's really's all it's for covid they must have been loving it during covid yeah i mean dmd was fucking popping yeah it's really i think it's just for like going somewhere where it's like you need like you know what you need and you just need them to prescribe you something like basic for stds you're saying yeah something like that yeah exactly like you go on pink eye and they're like okay i need to get these drops i got an i std yeah you

can get like syphilis in your eyes i'm pretty sure that's probably what your mom thought you had so i was looking at me like i'm nuts i'm like 99 sure you can get an you can get syphilis in your eye i believe it dude it might not be syphilis it's something one of the ones with an s there's a lot of them with the s conjun Conjunctivitis? No. Folliculitis? Oh, are you looking it up? Yeah, could you look that up? We got to get to the bottom of this.

Because I'm like really, I'm kind of sure that that's a thing. Isyphilis? Chlamydia and gonorrhea. Yeah, chlamydia. You can get chlamydia in your eye. Oh, fuck. That's what it is. Yes. Conjunctivitis?

Conjunctivitis. Yeah, that's what I was saying. No, no. I know what conjunctivitis is. It's what it is. Conjunctivitis. Yeah, that's what I was saying. No, no, I know what conjunctivitis is. It's what you had. Yeah, exactly. No, I was talking about chlamydia. You had chlamydia. No. Salute to Big Cat. That's a fucking goat right there. He's a hero. He truly is, dude. Well, red it out today.

I changed sweatshirts to match you. Yeah, I barely ever wear red. I never wear red. Someone gave me this sweatshirt and i never have worn it because it's too red it's one of my worst colors red it's one of a lot of people's worst colors it's a bad color tough color to just be rocking casually especially as a white it doesn't fucking go well with white skin it doesn't uh wearing red as a white person no wearing yellow as a white person? No. Wearing yellow as a white person? No. I disagree with the yellow. Yellow? I think it depends on the shade of yellow.

If you're the fucking man in the yellow hat. If you're in Curious George, maybe you're wearing yellow. He looked cool as fuck. Yeah, only him. That's what I'm saying. Who else has pulled off... What other white dude is wearing a yellow suit? I wouldn't wear it like that. I would wear a yellow shirt, though.

You would? Yeah. You wouldn't catch me dead in a yellow suit and i wouldn't wear like that i would really i would wear like a yellow shirt though you would yeah i would you wouldn't catch me dead in a yellow shirt oh look i'm pretty sure i have yellow shirts not gonna do anything that's what earl sweatshirt said that he said he said white people have to stop wearing yellow he did he had an old tweet of his i mean it's a fact yellow and red just are not our color reds reds tough it brings out the reds in your cheeks, and it makes you look whiter. It's very flashy. Like, I feel like if I was walking down the street in this,

I'd be catching looks. It's unsettling. Yeah. Yeah, no. It makes you want to leave. It does. But I did get you, I actually did get you a real present.

Oh, really? Yeah, I did. Is it a book? It's a red sweatshirt. Oh, hell yeah. Or it's actually red slash orange. It's from Detroit. I was just in Detroit this past weekend, and I got that for you.

Bro, 40% polyester? No, dude. That's not a real label. What the fuck is this? I put that label on there. It's just garbage you're handing me. It's a blend. It's a blend.

Detroit? Yeah. You definitely did not just buy this. I literally flew from Detroit this morning. You got this. Why were you in Detroit? I had a gambling competition. Brand new.

Oh, wow. I'll actually keep this. I know. It's your style. I don't know if I'll wear it. But keep it. Keep it. See how it fits.

I knew it would just come down to you. It might be a good bedtime sweater. A nightgown. Yeah. It'll cover your penis. XL, too. Yeah. Why are you grabbing me XL?

That's what you wear. No, I'm an L. No, dude. No, I'm an L. No. Come on, dude. Let's be real. Are you calling me fat, dude? No, let's just be honest with ourselves. I've been feeling pretty fat lately. That's what I mean. XL, you're swimming it. Do you know what I mean? I've been feeling pretty obese. Another thing

Billie Eilish gave us, just baggy t-shirts so we can, you know. Yeah, but that's not how it works. Because if you're a big guy and you wear too big clothes, you look fatter because then you get caught in a gust of wind. Next thing you know, it's highlighting all of your worst part. It catches against you like a sail. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I've had walks home from work and I'm walking and the wind is just blowing right at me the whole time. It's worse than being naked.

It is. It's more exposing than being ass naked. And the stomach is just blowing right at me the whole time it's worse than being naked it is it's more exposing than being ass naked and the stomach is just leading the charge just a shower curtain around your nipples dude it's just fucking clinging to you like you're a dead body on a fucking tray it's like saran wrapping your body and walking down the street yeah like a feminist at a protest yeah but even they don't have the courage to fucking wear some baggy clothes on a windy day no no it's truly dehumanizing a good boxy i need something boxy i also noticed that you like a high neck i love a high neck and that's why i don't know if that's gonna be the sweatshirt no that's not high neck that's a low neck that's like now i could tell that was the

first thing i noticed you held it up i noticed it i. I was like, that's a wide neck. Oh. I don't want one of those. I don't want a sweatshirt where the shoulders are peeking through. Your collarbones hanging off? Yeah, that's not my style. You look slutty? Yeah, that shit is gay as fuck. Anytime I wear a sweatshirt that's showing anything below, like, the neck,

I'm like, this is gay. Why? Why are you so conscious about your collar i don't know dude i'm very the same way about my shirts my shirt my like t-shirts like the the sleeves need to go down to a certain length or i start feeling like exposed i feel naked when you have a short ass sleeve short sleeve like a short sleeve my i like when my sleeves are down to the elbow yeah yeah a long boxy cut dude a box A nice box cut. A box cut. I'm very partial. I will wear anything. If it's the cut you like. If it's the cut I like.

I don't care what it is. That's why everyone's like, oh, the cowboy sweatshirt. It's like, I don't care what it is. High neck. Yeah. Kind of a vintage feel. Vintage feel. Dude, my boy Colin was talking about how he hates if he ever catches himself lying on his side with his knees on top of each other yeah

he'll like straighten if he ever does and ever since then like anytime i catch myself with my like knees touching i like stay out yeah because imagine getting walked in on like your knees all on top you never want another man should never see you in the fetal position yeah with your knees curled up on your side in a bed or on a couch like that it's just an incredibly tough look and i never noticed it and i wonder like how what percentage of my life i've spent coiled up like that like i'm like a good bit like a greek painting just looking all sexy i don't want any anyone i don't want people to see me laying down yeah sometimes like om will knock on my door and come into my room and like i'll be like laying

you get like under the covers and i'm like this is weird it's just like standing over my bed as i'm like all cozied up in bed well you're very vulnerable in that position you are you are like emotionally but also to attack yeah your whole body splayed out like it's probably like something just like your ball they could do your balls your fucking organs your neck is exposed to them your whole face yeah it's pretty easy to take someone down if they're just laying they've taken themselves down yeah they put themselves they put themselves at danger yeah it's a bitch-ass fucking position to be in you can't have someone walking in like that on you no dude what's good with you bro uh where you been at i was in rochester this weekend the shows were very very fun rochester

yeah it was probably the best shows i've had not sales wise but performance wise since philly you feel like you're breaking through do you feel like you're in flow state no but i i do think this was like the best i've ever felt about my about my set because i wrote some new stuff like just new tags like adding on to like other jokes that i have and it expanded them to the length that i could cut to jokes that i like fucking hate doing i'm like these suck these are not funny so like i was doing i only did jokes that i like enjoy doing and i think are funny that's how like the shows went like it was never like i never felt like i was like drowning on stage. Like I was always felt like I like,

like I had more stuff to talk about and I went, I mean, I did like exactly 45 minutes for like every set. That's fucking sick. A nice, tight,

fun 45. Yeah. Even the last show didn't feel like that. Oh dude, the last show was the best show I've had in months. Really? Like insanely good.

Why? I don't know. the crowd was so good damn how'd you get into how'd you lock into that or was it just adding the tags and it was due to i i like i added a couple new premises um and like yeah and then i added a couple like new like i know it was mostly just adding on two jokes, like adding, like making them longer. And cause someone, I was talking to someone and they were like, if something's working, actually I was talking to my buddy, Marcelo Hernandez, the guy that's on SNL, the kid that just got SNL away. And he was telling me, he was like, he was like, it's a good tip that I got was like, if something's working, like keep talking about it. Yeah. So I like kind of just went on that and I'm like well this joke works let's add to it that's smart and it like filled up more time and it worked well so it was fucking awesome let's fucking go dude yeah it was a great weekend i uh and i don't have anything for

a couple weeks except i'm going to i think i'm doing i think it's two nights i don't think it's three nights i think i'm doing two nights in Austin in a couple of weeks. But you're going to keep on going up in the city because you got to go up with, I mean, do your stadiums, but you got to go up in the club. No, no.

Yeah, I'm definitely, I'm pumped to be back in New York for a couple of weeks and do some spots. It kind of shows you both sides of things like that. You know, you're talking to different people, people who are there to see you. Oh yeah.

And then people who are, you know, they're, they're just onto the next guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's yeah yeah it's gonna be fun i uh it was a fun weekend i had to drive which sucked that does suck yeah um i didn't know you could rent a car under 25 yeah i used zip car that's fucking dope i only know because my sister used it a while ago i remember she did that and yeah dude i got a subaru impresa was fucking flying but uh like figured out how to like use like the i don't know if it was just my car but that thing had like a turbo button

and i would i would pass someone and i would click i kept on clicking the turbo button and i would be going like oh like it would go from like 80 to 100 in like one second yeah because you could change like the horsepower really i would change it to seven dude i don't know shit about cars i accidentally pressed the button and i started accelerating i was like what the fuck and then i like i figured it out and i was just playing with it the whole way home you just hit the nose yeah it was sick it's sick when it's not your car too oh yeah it's like oh like this shit breaks down like as soon as i leave it off who gives a fuck i'll never see this car again yeah it was a good drive.

I mean, it was long, dude. And you start off like, I remember on Thursday when I went, I was like pumped. I was like, ah, this will be fun. Like a good road trip. Listen to some tunes, listen to some podcasts. Get some future roadies. When you're like four hours in, you still got two hours to go. That's when the mind goes to the darkest of places.

That's when I'm like, I shouldn't be alone with myself right now just thinking like everything worst case scenario and be like dude i hate myself wait what kind of things worst case scenario like the scenario you were in or like just every entire life i'm like i hope my family's doing okay i haven't talked to them in a couple of days. We're all getting older. Yeah. Yeah. You never know what could happen. No.

Yeah. It was getting a long COVID. It seems like it's really knocking on everyone's door. Yeah. It sucked. But that was, that was brief. I snapped out of that pretty quick.

Was it nighttime when, when you were feeling those thoughts? No, I, both of the days were both the drives were midday. Driving at night is, can, can get to you sometimes if you've had a long ass day and you're driving through the middle of the night yeah i used to try to do like battle raps i would drive like uh from like philly to new york in a day and do a battle rap and then like drive back

or whatever like a three-hour drive uh and as i was like driving home some nights like i would just be alone on the road like fucking losing my mind like yeah yeah yeah i remember screaming to stay myself adrenaline yeah rolling down the windows like feeling like i was gonna fall asleep that was kind of how i was yeah i was feeling a little bit of that yesterday i mean it comes in waves like you'll just be like chilling and the next thing you know you're like i can't keep my eyes open especially dude the it's all through upstate new york and a lot of those highways are just like two lane highways and there's like one other car on the

street is it was you're going like 150 miles per hour like the whole way it wasn't picturesque at all no it was it was really nice if it's a picturesque drive that that buys me another like two hours yeah yeah it was just it was a lot yesterday i mean it's like five shows wake up at like i woke up at like i slept in a little bit i woke up at like 10 30 showered chilled for a little bit left and then it's just oh and like also connor the kid that i that hosts for me connorook, he had a 6 a.m. flight on Sunday. So he's like home back in bed by the time before I even left. Damn. Yeah.

Because I had the car. No, it's like zip cars. Like it's someone's car. Yeah. So it's not like it's not like Hertz or some shit. No, like it's supposed to be like it's someone's car, but I'm pretty sure this was just like a parking garage who like rents out their cars damn that's so devastating i had to drive it home to be stranded yeah dude the flight getting canceled i mean i'm i'm happy i found if i didn't find out when i found out we would i would have missed the show because i'm like getting

up to go to the airport and i'm like i'm like oh shit i haven't checked in yet and then i'm checking in like your flight was canceled like i didn't get like a text or anything did you shit yourself when you found out no because i was like oh whatever i was like i'll just get a later flight and then every single flight was either sold out or it would get me there at like midnight yeah what point did you shit yourself never really i mean my agent called me and he was like, hey, he was like, if anything happens, like you can just cancel the weekend. And I was like, I would rather die than miss a weekend in Rochester. Rochester is the Paris of Northern New York in the world.

It's fucking lovely up there. And then I was like, then I just rented the car. Love it. Yeah. What were your snacks on the road you can say a lot of cheez-its okay the snaps ones that we have in the office those are good well you got turned out to them by them being in the office yeah yeah those are good a couple cheez-its snaps uh uh there was there was one that i actually got twice that was a little gonna people aren't gonna love it what do you mean i got an egg salad sandwich from uh sheets that is literally the last thing i would get i stopped at the same sheets twice they got good egg salad here yeah and i got the egg salad both times and it was really good

because dude sometimes after a long weekend like that when you're like traveling and you're like eating just like comedy club food like eating every meal out you're like i want something bland so i'm like i'm just gonna get it comedy club food is too spicy no but it's like deep fried chicken fingers so salty and like like processed and you're like i want something that's just like bread and egg salad you know that i saw it's on a nice just white bread you're talking about it like it's gourmet but it was probably served out and then i paint can with a fucking ice cream scooper and like that assembly line oh dude it was great and it was like uh then last night all i wanted to eat for dinner was just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich just wanted something that was like easy and not like because like dude in new

york it's like if you're like oh i want a turkey sandwich then you order one online if you don't have anything to make one you order one online and it comes and it's like this massive gourmet meal with like 17 different sauces and like yeah and it's like sometimes you know you just want a piece of bread with a little bit of something in between what about smashing a gopuff and getting turkey and bread yeah that's just a waste of money though because it's like at that point i'll just like i'll just go to the store yeah yeah then just go to the store but i did i mean i used i feel like i've stopped eating turkey since i realized that it's just a processed meat like any other processed meat. Oh, turkey is bad.

Yeah. That's why I feel like I got out of the turkey game recently. But I used to crave a turkey sandwich badly. But I thought it was a healthy option. I was like, oh, turkey sandwich. Yeah, it's not. Whole cuts are bad for you. I should just have it anyway, dude.

I should just enjoy the turkey. Yeah. Pepper jack cheese. That's me. Oh, yeah. A little pepper jack? That's me. Oh, you're talking. I'm a pepper jack guy. Oh, yeah. Little pepper jack? That's me. Oh, you're talking.

I'm a pepper jack guy. Oh, yeah. Little American? Fuck it. Tomato, mayonnaise, onion? No, no onion, but lettuce, tomato, tomato and mayo. You ever just have a tomato sandwich on toast? Oh, that's some country shit.

That is good. Tomato and mayo on toast? That sounds British. It's good as fuck. Tomato and toast. Yeah, maybe a little Mozzarella on there Yeah God damn

I love When you're adding the mozzarella Now you're talking Basil Make it a caprese Yeah maybe Yeah yeah Dude it's good

Balsamic Sometimes dude Sometimes you just don't want The fucking New York Meals Sometimes you don't want to eat A fancy meal for every meal You don't want to eat a big meal

Yeah it's like Going out to lunch And you have to get a Cornish game hen Yeah yeah Like that So I end up getting A bacon egg and cheese For dinner From where for every meal. You don't want to eat a big meal. It's like going out to lunch and you have to get a Cornish game hen or shit like that. I end up getting a bacon, egg, and cheese for dinner. From where?

It's a deli. That's not bad. Getting a quick egg sandwich, that's, I feel like, the best way to sustain. Reliable. It's reliable. It'll fill you up. Bread, egg, bacon, cheese. They're going to be cheap as fuck. They can't hoodwink you and be like, this actually was really expensive. They can and they will. I don't get it you look at one of the things and

it's like oh this is four dollars then another way it places ten dollars it's like well what's the difference oh there is none yeah you always go with the cheaper option when you're doing egg sandwiches especially when you you gotta you know you're trying to keep it no no reason to splurge on a fucking egg sandwich no it's not gonna be going to be that much better. No, no, no, no. It's not going to be this fucking incredible egg sandwich. If it is, it's probably worse. If it is better, if it's classified as being better, it's not. Because now they're just

then they start throwing random turkey and ham and all this shit on it. It's like, dude, give me something easy. Dude, I've always hated tall ass sandwiches. I don't want a tall sandwich. A big ass dumb sandwich where everything is stacked on top of each other. I hate a fucking tall sandwich. I don't want a tall sandwich.

I want an easy sandwich. It should fit in your mouth. I think tonight I'm probably just going to crush two turkey sandwiches. I genuinely do. I just can't stand cookout. Like takeout anymore. You're living. It's bad.

Two turkey sandwiches is living. Yeah, dude. That's good. It's a great meal. It feels like you're living it's bad two turkey sandwiches is living yeah dude that's good it's a great it's a great meal like you're eating healthier like and you feel like you could have like three turkey sandwiches sometimes you could just crush turkey sandwich take out is just so it dude there's so much sodium and salt and it just it's like at a certain point it's like i don't need that for every meal man i i aspire fucking give me a give me a turkey sandwich, damn it.

God damn it? Give him a fucking turkey sammy. This bastard, he needs a fucking... I want to learn how to cook shit, dude. I don't. Like, I do, but I don't. I just can't cook in our apartment. Our apartment's fucking disgusting. No, dude, it's bad.

It's fucking mice and roaches. Where are you going to move to? What neighborhoods were you looking in? Same neighborhood? Thinking about Connecticut. Yeah. Get in a house, take the Amtrak in every day. Two hours in, two hours out.

Yeah. I'm thinking about just starting the commuter life. Just becoming a long hauler. A super commuter. Imagine if I just got a place out in connecticut it's it would be a preposterous move but people do it i think erica does it yeah she does that's crazy i'll just get up i'll just stay in her guest house you could yeah our old office manager office manager brett used to stay in it like when he first got hired he like stayed in her like

basement her guest house or some shit like that. That would be crazy. That was just a different fucking era at the fucking stool. Take me back. Take me the fuck back. Take me back to the glory days. What happened to Big Cat? What happened to this fucking company? These fucking bastards. I can't get enough. These rich pricks. There used to be people who would take the

Chinatown bus or the Megabus from Philly to New York every day and back. And they were like super commuters. They wrote articles about them. And it's three hours there, three hours back on a fucking bus, dude. What lifestyle, what is worth it to live that lifestyle? I have no idea. How could that possibly be worth it?

Like you're not fucking. It might be their only option. How? I don't know, bro. Get a job closer. Get a job in Philly no it's not it's not easy for everybody it definitely is in fact i don't know i don't really like talking about jobs with other people of other people's jobs because then everyone's like oh i'm sitting

in my cube and i'm fucking melting listening to sass right now. I'm boiling. He doesn't know shit about what I go through. It's like, yeah, you're probably right. Fucking psychopath. So I just, I opt out of that conversation now. Sass complaining about his job. Dude, you're allowed

to get your fucking complaints off. Not anymore. I don't complain anymore This is a safe ass place All I do is spread love and thank god for the fucking day Thank you Dude when you're Dude when you're cruising down Upstate New York Highway

In that Subaru Impreza All you can do is thank god That's what god intended dude That's a good car. My buddy just got one of those cars and I had to pay for half of it. Why does it look like? And he's paying me back in payments. He's actually fully reimbursed me, which was awesome because I didn't think he was going to. So it's not my car anymore. I was telling him it was my car for a while. That was a loaded ass sentence. Yeah, I know that sentence had it all. Yeah.

How did that, how did he bring that up to you? She said, uh, can you give me money for this car? And I said, yes, he was driving in a car that he was going to die in and,

uh, no brakes. It was like a 2004 Rav. So you're just, you didn't ask for a lot of money. You're just swimming. He asked for a couple hundred bucks a month

this was month this was in April so you've been swimming in money like that no he's been giving me like a hundred dollars a month and he's finally paid himself off

look at you go dude look how fast you fucking you were you were in the fucking hole a little bit ago worried about money well no I gave him this money when I was in the hole

really cause I'm a good friend that's the only way to be in the hole is to drag someone into the hole with you. I know. Now we're both in debt. That's a good ass car. Well, you're a good ass friend.

I know. You are. If I did something like that, I would have told everyone right away. I would want that credit up front. It wasn't really that big of a deal. It was like... He paid a lot for it and I gave him like $400.

Subaru Impreza? Yeah. You know that car? What is it? A station wagon? Dude, it is a good car. It's a great car. I know my way around that now being 12 hours in it. I would just drive it around rochester did you get it my money's worth did you get it because uh because he had that's the car

yeah dude it's a good car that looks like the least expensive car that exists oh no no dude that's a nice car what's the msrp on that bitch he's beautiful is it 40 lies oh yeah it's 40 is that a hatchback oh yeah it's a good car what's the what does it go for tyler how much does the subaru impresa cost a couple thousand does it it's less than 12 000 right no i heard there were two for one deals on it no no no no dude you gotta you can't talk shit until you get behind a subaru andza. It's 21K. 21? Yeah. All right. I think my buddy paid like 16 for it. Used, pre-owned, certified? Used.

100 miles on it. Only 100? 100,000. Oh. She runs like she's new. Of course. That's how Subaru builds them. Mine was like, there was like 100 miles on it. It was like I was pulling this thing out of the lot.

It was great. You had a fresh one? 23 model yeah dude i remember hearing car play i remember hearing radio ads when i was uh a kid about on like sports talk radio about two for one car deals like yeah that's nuts it was like this unknown car brand company and they're like for twelve thousand dollars you can get two cars that's crazy it's like what the fuck are you probably both sucked why would you want two cars why wouldn't you want two cars you can only drive one yeah you drive one on the weekends but it was the same car though got your sober one and your drunk one just two white cars two white like a suzus there's like a total one of them and the cops come to your house the next morning. You're like, my car's right here.

It's right here. It's a whole different one. What are you talking about? It's been there all night. Yeah, a little switcheroo. Check the security. Yeah, yeah. Dude, fucking OJ had two of the same car.

Or no. Who was OJ's guy? AC? I don't know. Aaron Hernandez or something similar though. OJ had a guy. Who was his sidekick? I think it was AC.

No, was it AC? Yeah. I? I think it was AC. No, was it AC? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was AC. Kirk, what was the guy's name? There was some dude who had a 90s-ass name. It's like... Kato Kaelin? Kato Kaelin.

That's what I'm thinking of. Look up OJ AC. Kato Kaelin is a 90s-ass name. Yeah, Al Cowlings Yeah AC AC? Yeah OJ and AC had the exact same car

If you get the same car with your boy They both had the Bronco So when OJ was on the chase in the Bronco There was another Bronco just parked at the crib Like he like snuck out the back into another Bronco Oh everyone thought he was there? Yeah Getting matching cars with your boys is sweet Oh no i that's why i got the impresa because i was like i want to know what my boy's

going through right now you want to empathize with your boy i know not empathize i was like i want to get a feel for this thing he never let because i was with him when i was in denver he'd never let you drive it let me drive it when i was here you paid for the car and he wouldn't let you when i was in when i was in denver we went to the dealership and he picked it up. And then I drove his shitty RAV home and he drove the Imprez. And then I never got to drive it. His is nice. Go Prez, go, bro.

Yeah. I can't believe he's driving the Prez home and you can't fucking drive the car that you paid for. I know. He let me drive the, because he had to go to work and stuff, so I got to drive the RAV around. What's with your friends, dude? Becoming indentured servants, dude? I don't know. This is all the same guy.

Really? Yeah. He didn't let you drive the car that you paid for? No. I think it was my birthday, too. Then for my birthday, I got to pay him. I would never bitch you out like this. Actually, when I was with all of his friends when we were in Denver for my birthday i got to pay him i would never bit you out like this actually when i was i was with all of his friends when we were in denver for my birthday you didn't say our friends

you said his friends oh yeah our friends i guess i don't they're his friends i mean i know them mutually from him all right but uh one of them was like we're gonna make a cake for my birthday and they were like but they asked my friend bo they're like what does he want and Bo decided to not ask me and just tell them strawberry shortcake like strawberry shortcake so then they pulled up and they're like it's your favorite and I was like I guess I was like I'm not I don't really love it to be honest was he doing it to prank you he didn't he was at work and he didn't he didn't care to text me. Does he actually like strawberry shortcake? Oh, yeah. That's what I like.

He likes strawberry shortcake. Yeah. I honestly don't. That's almost funnier than pranking you. I don't really like cake. So I was fine with that. Damn. It was that the strawberry shortcake was good as fuck.

I just love that he got you a cake though. Well, he didn't. His friends made me a cake. Oh, they didn't make a strawberry shortcake? Yes, they made a strawberry shortcake. There's no way they made it. I promise you they did. Don't you have to make like a compote of strawberries?

I'll bet it. Probably. They're good cooks, dude. They're chefs. They're chefs. Oh, those are those dudes? Yeah, yeah. Gnocchi night?

Yeah, gnocchi night. Facts. Yeah, good people out there. I'm going to go out to Denver probably coming up soon. You really changed your tune once you realized you were just shitting on their strawberry shortcake. No, I wasn't. I was shitting on you were just shitting on their strawberry shortcake. No, I wasn't. I was shitting on my friend for saying that

I like strawberry shortcake. It is a funny-ass movie. The cake was good. Dude, you should go out when we have the next gambling competition. I know, I've heard. That's on Owen's birthday.

Oh, we should bring Owen out too then. Yeah. We'll get him on a couple of course banquets. Yeah. Get him back off the wagon. The wagon? Off the wagon. Let's take him to Golden. We'll be like, we'll get him on a couple of Coors banquets. Yeah. Get him back off the wagon. Let's take him to Golden.

We'll blind him. The Coors brewing. You're going to love this. I'm sober. Does Coors make a non-alcoholic? They must. I don't think so. If he just smells the barley and fucking suckles at the wheat.

If he just touches the yeast. That'll get it done. Just smelling the yeast in the air will be enough for him. It should be. And he doesn't drink beer. I've been spiking his drinks with vodka for months. Slowly, like very, very small amounts. He doesn't even know what Diet Coke tastes like anymore.

Slowly getting him back. He drinks Diet Cokes all the time, and they're always Jack and anymore. Slowly getting him back. He drinks diet cokes all the time and they're always Jack and Coke. He doesn't know. Like giving a baby rum. You inject it through the top with a needle. You're putting a hook in him. And you're going to have him on the fucking side.

You're just turning Owen out. That's what I've been doing with Mince, dude. With Mince? Yeah, Mince has been acting goofy because I've been doing with Mince dude With Mince? Yeah Mince has been acting goofy Because I've been having him off the booze This has been on goof mode I've been sprinkling a little

Is it? Was it actually his birthday the other day Or were they fucking with him? It was definitely his birthday It was? I didn't know if they were pulling Because he wouldn't be like He would have said it's not my birthday

Yeah true He's an honest ass dude That's what I've been doing with Jersey Jerry Just kidding Now Jerry would know right away Yeah he would yeah true he's an honest ass dude that's what i was doing with jersey jerry just kidding now jerry would know right away he would yeah and he would be cool with it yeah yeah i heard what happened with that uh he just had a drink that wasn't alcohol he thought it was alcohol and it was like a come to jesus moment he's like shit did i just break my sobriety on it oh and they were like no no no no no no that would have been fucked he drank it it wasn't no it was a non-alcoholic version but he thought his also had alcohol he thought kim

why did he drink it then i don't know kim gave it to him saying this doesn't have alcohol and he like thought kim just ruined his life that would have been nuts an insane culprit to do it too yeah if we just had to take his chip off him yeah sorry brother have to you probably do right definitely gotta turn them back in right at that moment yeah you definitely have to or you just are back to zero ah never mind it's a little crazy that they give them a chip the first day they go in right oh yeah that's ways i mean i guess you gotta give them a give them a week of sessions and then get the chip. Earn the chip at all.

Yeah, you got to earn the chip. You could be coming in hammered. It is very trophy generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A chip right away. Give them a chip in here. Yeah. Earn the chip.

You can't give them a chip off the fucking rip. I only know that. Is that even true? Do they actually do that? I saw that in Dexter. That they gave them the chip on the first day? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe you collect chips like you got a 50 day chip or some shit. A year

chip or some shit. You got to catch them all. It's like Pox. Yeah, it is. It's like Boy Scouts. You get the sash day one. Day one chip. I remember Eminem posted his like 10 year chip. Em did? Yeah. I didn't know Em is sober. Yeah. Dude, that's why he's fucking sucked why he sucks now yeah that's like gonna have that's gonna that's just gonna happen

to me no eminem's actually the goat dude he just made a he made a video about like pat's day he he like made a video talking into the camera about pat's day yeah that's awesome it's fucking sweet dude that was yeah i saw when he died like obviously like eminem shouted him out that was pretty cool yeah and then you just made died, like, obviously, like, Eminem shouted him out. That was pretty cool. Yeah, and then you just made a video like this a couple days ago about it. That's sick. It's fucking sick. Yeah, he's actually the goat for that.

So I'm just kidding that he sucks, but I do hope he falls off the wagon, though. I think. No, no, no, no. It'd be funny. I'm just saying for jokes, I hope he falls off the wagon. For jokes, it would be funny. For just to crack jokes. He is the goat.

He is actually the goat. Why jokes, it would be funny. He is the GOAT. He is actually the GOAT. Why? He's still... The old Eminem is so good. Yeah. I was listening to a little bit of it on the way up. It's pretty stimulating to listen to. I was listening to a little bit of Fitty. Fitty and Eminem. Yeah?

Yeah. I mean, the fact that Dre just fucking stacked those two on top of each other. Damn, you know you're my favorite white boy, right? I've been patiently waiting to blow. I've been patiently waiting to explode for so long. That album is so fucking good. Yeah, it is, dude. Dude, 2001. Hell of a year.

I'm just picturing you standing with Dre and Eminem watching 50 do his sit-ups upside down, dude. I'm just photoshopping you into the image in my mind. It was so sick. How long do you think he was hanging up there before? He was probably just doing it casually. He's probably one of the dudes that's just like at the park in like Harlem. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just doing like some kind of crazy ass like gymnastics.

Power-ups. What are they called? Yeah, power-ups. Those dudes can do the sickest routines. That's one of my reoccurring dreams that I always have. I think I've said that before. You do power-ups? I'm at the gym just banging out power-ups.

Unlimited reps. I'm like, dude, I didn't know I was this good at this. I've talked about this before, but it's that and benching 225. This has happened in a while because I don't work out anymore but when i was working out it would be like every night i'd be having dreams that i would just like throw an extra plate on and be like damn this is actually pretty easy that's funny that would be that would be like my dreams every night

dude you should have stayed with working out because imagine what that says about your psyche. You're so subconsciously motivated to crush. That's the thing. I can only be motivated on one thing at a time. Yeah. Your stand-up is dominating your motivation. Yeah, for sure. Definitely.

I remember I used to be at the gym being like, I really want to try stand up and then I finally went and did it and then like I never went to the gym again I don't want to play with you anymore it was like that it was literally like that yeah damn that's hilarious though I do really want I wish I looked how I looked though like a couple months ago or like years ago

I think the fact that when you just start setting your mindset things and then you just dominate it and it just completely dominates your your mind yeah your subconscious that's fucking sick that you can unlock that level of focus it's yeah it's like all i think about yeah is that but like then and also same with stand-up now you're probably dreaming about stand-up yeah all the time you're like crushing in your dreams no no never the opposite yeah what is what's the dream that you're i think in your dreams. No, no, never. The opposite? Yeah. What's the dream? That you're unprepared? I think the opportunity is that, yeah.

I think the dreams are usually I get an opportunity that I'm not ready for, and then it goes horribly wrong. Totally. Yeah. That used to be my recurring battle rap dream, that the day happened and I wasn't prepared for it. Yeah, yeah. And it would happen every time.

Yeah. Every single time. And it happens to every battle rapper, too. They all have that same dream. I've talked to't prepared for it. Yeah. Yeah. And it would happen every time. Yeah. Every single time. Yeah. And it happens to every battle rapper too. Like they all have that same dream. I've like talked to them all about it. Yeah. It makes sense,

dude. Cause you get happened to a lot of comics. You think, I mean, right. Yeah. I mean, I,

I'm like, I'm like just like a way more ahead than I should be. What do you mean? Like in my career. Facts. But like, there's a lot of disadvantages to that. What do you mean? in my career facts but like there's a lot of disadvantages to that what do you mean just like i mean like i'm headlining a year and a half in i know you

you literally have to start thinking about a special no no no no no you have to start thinking about you said that i wouldn't i would i don't have any interest in filming a special for like years for a a year? No. Like probably like five, six years at least. What? Yeah. So what are you going to do with all this material? Burn it.

Is that smart? Yeah. No, you're smart. I don't think you should do it now because like when you put out your first one. Yeah, I'm not trying to be like Brendan Shaw of like putting out a special three years in and then he's like a laughingstock for the rest of his life. But you're selling out. But that's fine. There's no need to do a special right now. Why aren't you going to put out the material? Maybe I'll

post like a clip here and there. So you're just trying to get better for the art of it? Yes. Dude, I admire that. You wouldn't. You would do the exact same thing. No way. Yes, you would. I don't think I would. I know you would. I'd just dump it out. No, you wouldn't you would do the exact same thing no way yes you would i don't think i would i know you would i'd just dump it out no you wouldn't i was literally lamenting to tyler i was like fucking what we uh we ate barbecue in detroit together and i was like i wish i had a craft i would be

in such a little dude i wish i didn't have like 75 crafts what are you talking about I don't do right now I don't you do oh I don't dude yes you do you know battle rap was a craft it's not my craft right now I don't fucking like work at battle rap every night stand up that's definitely a craft like making videos like editing videos or like making a specific style

of video that's a craft it sounds like you just want to do something different you definitely have crafts I don't think I's a craft it sounds like you just want to do something different you definitely have crafts i don't think i have a craft right now yes you do dude dude i'm fucking crap i'm craftless out here and i'm trying to get a fucking craft bro dude what should my you gotta find your craft that's why i was talking about cooking when earlier when you're like cooking i was like i was like should cooking be and i shit on it right away didn't i like a Like a bad friend. No, you shit on your self-cooking. You're like, I don't want to cook.

Oh, yeah. Which I understand. In your kitchen, you just fucking turn on the stove and cook a fucking mouse. Light a cockroach up. Dude, well, we got to get you a craft. Like, what do you mean? Like a hobby? Or like something you actually care about?

Yeah, I think, I don't know. Something I care about. You having a midlife crisis? No, maybe. No, I don't know. Something I care about. You having a midlife crisis? No, maybe. No, I don't think so but I just don't think podcasting is a craft. No, it's not.

You know what I mean? That's all I'm saying and that's what I'm doing a lot of right now. That's my only point. It's just riffing. Yeah. Yeah, even this

Pat Beverly podcast. I don't know if, that's not even, it's just talking about the NBA. It's not necessarily a craft either. Maybe you could get crafty with it bro maybe you gotta look at it like a craft

how? I don't know how can I make this better? before it's even started more meetings call Blattman right now and say I want more meetings I do love to meet dude I love to connect yeah that would be good for you

I'm like sitting down in these meetings and I keep on being like alright who's leading this You love to meet, dude. I love to connect. Yeah. That would be good for you. I'm like sitting down in these meetings and I keep on being like, all right, like, all right, who's leading this? And I'll like look around and like no one's talking. I'm like, fuck me. Oh yeah, that sucks. I have to, I have to lead the meeting. Tell them you're not leading shit. Dude, I can't stop doing the point to yourself that you did on the draft day video.

Yeah. This sweatshirt's flashy. I know. You look like a slut. A sluh? Slut. A slut? You look like a flashy slut.

No. Don't say that. I liked your outfit this weekend. Right? I was trying to think what you looked like. Yeah, I was trying to think what you looked like.

I couldn't even put it together. That polo jacket I was rocking? Like a mechanics manager or something. Just dominating. Yeah. What was that jacket? Or just the whole color scheme? Fly as hell.

Yeah. It looked like Detroit, honestly. The jacket was fly. Detroit chic. Why? Just gray? Yeah. It was all gray.

Does Detroit suck? No. Detroit was actually kind of dope. I walked through the downtown last night to go out to get a dinner alone after Tyler went back. It was sweet walking through the downtown. Why didn't you come back last night to go out to uh to get a dinner alone after tyler went back and uh it was sweet why did you come back why didn't you come back last night there were no fights they're like uh tyler they were on like the last flights out it all got booked up the fight marty was on got canceled there were two flights after the contest got ended and they were like in 20 minutes from like and i

was at the yeah yeah yeah and uh so I walked over to the fucking, to a nice ass restaurant, dude. Fucking indulge. Got some short rib. Hell yeah. It was fantastic. Drinks. Um, I got a glass of wine, a Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. It's fantastic. Have you ever been to Oregon? I haven't now. We gotta, that be a good-ass spot to boondoggle out to. Yeah, that would be fun. You got to go to Oregon, dude. Just see what the... I've never been out there.

To Oregon? Like, just that side of the country. Yeah. That area. Northwest? Yeah, the Pacific Northwest. I think Washington is sweet, but I think Oregon has some good-ass wilderness. Oh, yeah.

I don't care about the cities or the politics of the people out there, but I do care about the fucking trees that they have out there. Yeah, they got... Those trees are sick. The big ass ones. Yeah, I'm finna go fucking hug a tree. They got mountains and like the beach. Yeah, they got...

They got everything out there. Prairies. Yeah, we gotta go out there. Let's do a little nature show. I'll go to... I'll go to the fucking Oregon. People do shows. I think Portland has a really good comedy scene.

Does it? Yeah. Let's give everyone a fucking head... really good comedy scene. Does it? Yeah. Let's get you a fucking headline. Does your agent listen to this show? Yeah. Let's get Sasa Headline and Gig out there. Out in Portland. Out in Portland.

Or Corvialis. Yeah, Corvialis. Let's do Corvialis. Let's do Eugene. Yeah. That would be good. In fact, Oregon is so nerdy that they named a town Eugene. Hey, that's a shitty name, huh?

Eugene. Eugene's a tough name. Eugene was the nerd in the movie Grease. And he was like the biggest Eugene ever. He set the tone for Eugene's. I think I would just go by Gene. You would? Or just G.

I'd just go by G. Huge. Huge. Like Donald Trump? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge. Huge. Like Donald Trump? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge. Let's talk about fucking GameTime, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports concerts and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. I'm still looking for it. I went to a bunch of shit on game time i'm all right dude i keep on seeing tommy at the yankees games off the yankees games like every day yeah what is game time just has just hooking him up and he has like whatever ticket he wants i know he was actually behind or he was like right in the home in home run yeah he was in the home run territory he who's behind the third baseline. It's like you actually can get the best tickets. They are not

telling you any lies. So download the GameTime app. Go to the account tab to create a login and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download GameTime. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed. Get them before Tommy Smokes his bitch ass

gets them. Fuck. Fucking Tommy. I had to use our 1F word for that. PG13, bro. Yeah, we can't even 1F. And I didn't hear you say it. Yeah.

I was going to go with suggested nudity. I was going to go with extreme violence. Hell yeah. Dude. What the fuck? What, dude? The fuck is calling me? Call him back.

No. See what's good. What was I going to say? This Dahmer show. You watched it? No, is it sweet? Yeah. It's not good?

It's good. Dude, it's dark i don't well he killed a bunch of people and ate them you think that they're supposed to spruce it up and make it lighter well there's like it's dark but then there's like weird parts like they're trying to show off evan peter's bod his hot bod oh that's the guy who's playing him yeah that's fucking weird and they're showing off his hot bod the entire show they're trying to sexual got him like mowing the lawn shirtless like oiled up they're gonna get a a gaggle of like college students to think that he's sexy oh it's already happened and fetishized it's already happening charles manson yeah the the domer like their people are like yeah i mean dude if your pussy's not soaked at the end of that fucking show, you're doing something wrong.

But he was killing dudes, though? He was fucking and killing dudes? Yeah. Girls love him. The ladies couldn't even get him. You think that they just want to be best friends with him? Yeah. They just want to have a gay best friend who serial kills? He was weird as shit, dude. Was he?

Weird as fuck. In what ways? They dissected the pig in school and he asked the doctor he asked the teacher if he could take one home and then the teacher said yes which is also weird a dead pig home i went up to some kid after class and he was like i got another one he was like hey man i got another one he like, you want to come over to my house? And the kid was like, what the fuck? He was like, no, dude. That's weird.

Is that from that book, My Friend Jeffrey? There's a book about a kid that grew up with him or something. How do they have these stories about him being young? If you find out that someone you know was a serial killer every interaction biggest payday of all time like that's like like that's better than getting like hit by like a mail truck or some shit why so you can just tell their story like be dude like anyone from that school who ever interacted with him could be like i'm gonna write a book about jeffrey dahmer and how i knew he was weird the whole time and just make up some crazy say anything yeah that this this pig shit's And just make up some crazy ass shit. Say anything. This pig shit's probably just made up.

It's just a dad. Cash grab. The dad who has a book is probably a millionaire. It's the best thing that happened to a lot of people. Especially him. He hated his son his entire life. And then the thing happens and he acts like he cared. Jeffrey Dahmer is a blank million dollar industry. All those serial killers dude it's just about like who

can profit off them first it's crazy and there's never gonna be i mean they say there are but there's never gonna be serial killers like that again you don't make them the same disease no just because the technology the police the technology with like dna and everything like that wasn't around back then i think there there's a serial killer in like Missouri right now. Eh. So they say. Yeah, it's only, they only got four off. Maybe.

Maybe four. Yeah. Dude, like the Dahmer killing like 40 people and Ted Bundy killing like 40 people and all these people. Like that will never happen again. There's no way. It was the golden age. You probably would just have to go to another country to do it.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Dude like like they would kill someone they would just walk up to someone in like broad daylight kidnap them kill them and then like throw them in the woods you think it's an unbreakable record you think it's like wilt chamberlain's hundred point game yeah dude because there's i mean everything like someone's probably listening to us through this camera right now talk about this like everything is always being recorded there's everything there's surveillance everywhere even getting away with a couple of them you couldn't i think it'd be tough to get away with one that's quigs quigs said that he could get away with a terrorist attack i think didn't he yeah i think he could too well actually i mean the fact that even like the best hackers are

just getting caught like the people who like the 17 year olds who, uh, I had an Uber driver in Vegas who was like a programmer and they were like, yeah, Uber got hacked last night by some 17 year old kid who just got some clout or whatever. Can we turn this TV, the remote, find a way to turn this? Uh, yeah, I don't fucking know. Whatever. We can leave it. Fuck it.

There we go. Um, thanks. Uh, but, uh, this Uber driver said that a 17 year old hacked into Uber and like exposed Don't know where to put it. Yeah, I don't fucking know. Whatever. We can leave it. Fuck it. There we go. Thanks, Zaha. Thanks, Zaha. But this Uber driver said that a 17-year-old hacked into Uber and exposed a bunch of inefficiencies in Uber shit just because they wanted to flex. But they caught the kid who did it, who's a genius-level hacker who's hacking into this shit. So even those people are getting caught.

So that's the only reason I don't know why Quigs could... I think it's pretty tough, probably pretty tough to get away with shit. So even those people are getting caught. So that's the only reason I don't know why Quigs could... I think it's pretty tough to get away with shit. To be a terrorist? Just to get away with anything. Unless it's something that is so small people don't care about. Shoplifting. Like, yeah. Even that, dude. If they really wanted to, they would find your ass.

They just caught that 17-year-old who leaked the GTA thing, but he was in, like, not the United States. Oh, really? And they got in trouble, right? Yeah, right yeah he got what i didn't even see what he leaked it was just like no there was it wasn't like a trailer it was like just beta footage of like the new gta game but it's been so under wraps and like obviously yeah and then they traced it back i don't think he's from like the country or something like that that That's nuts. You can trace that far back? Yeah. I would just hire him, you know? If he's that good. M straight.

Get him on our team. Yeah. If I'm the FBI, I'm hiring his ass. Probably do. That's probably the best way to get a job there. Just hack them. Hack them. Maybe like, you guys are dumb. Let me show you why. The ship has sailed on me being able to ever hack anything. Dude, I went through a big phase.

Of hacking? Trying to like get into that after I watched the social network. I was like, yeah, I'm going to, this is going to be what I'm going to do this. I was like, I'm going to start probably writing code. And then I took a class in high school and I figured out where all the answers were online. I'd never once learned anything. Yeah. Cheated the entire course.

Learning is definitely. Even the final project project i stole someone else's final project the class was such a joke and yeah because you you took it like a joke why didn't you just learn to code you could have been fucking it was like a study hall i didn't have to do shit but didn't you actually want to code for like the first day and then i was like fuck this i think you got gotta start doing it and then take the Adderall. No, dude. You have to start doing it and then take the Vyvanse as you've started and then you'll lock in. Dude, I didn't even have to submit

the final project. I just had to go up and show it to the teacher. That's why you're never gonna have Zuckerberg's money. That's why you'll never have a Trilly. Probably not, unfortunately. Sad to say, you'll never be a trillionaire no definitely crazy coming to grips with that not really unless i like come up with something cool like what i got some ideas bro i got some ideas like what i have one app invention that i'm not going to tell you because it's too good

but i have another invention i think i've told you about this one before. I think I've said this one. Have I? I don't know. When you're drinking a cup of ice or drinking an ice water and the ice keeps hitting your mouth and it makes it harder to drink. Yes. It's like a little rubber thing that you put in

like a grate. A sippy cup? thing that you put in like a like a like a grate? I don't know. A sippy cup? You just put it in a sippy cup. That's a sippy cup. You put it in at the bottom of

you put it in the glass so it holds the ice at the bottom. But that's like a sippy cup. Why not just put a lid on the top and be able to like a travel mug?

Back to the drive-by. Bro, fuck you. Think about a travel mug. Yeah, but what if you don't have a travel mug? They're expensive, dude. Travel mugs are like $40. I think they're the least expensive thing that you can...

A Yeti? A Yeti travel mug? It's like $100. So you're saying your product is as good as a Yeti travel mug? Yes. It's just a lid halfway down that keeps the ice down. Or maybe... The bar is already half.

No, no, dude. This is a good idea. What about like a cold glass? Like what about keeping the glass in the freezer beforehand so you never have to use the ice? Fuck that, dude. Who's going to do that? Only bars do that. You think you're going to make a trillion dollars off of having a lid?

I think that could potentially be a three trail idea. I don't even think the guy who came up with lids is a trillionaire. That's a three T idea for sure. No way. That's a low T idea. No, I'm happy if that's a low T idea because that means it's still on the T's. No, dude. It's at least a three T

idea. That's not a fucking, if by T you mean thousand. No, no, no, trillion. No, that's a $3,000 idea. That shit is, that has been done. Dude. Clear Toaster though. Clear Toaster hasn't been done. Clear Toaster sucks ass.

What are you talking about? I'll give you another good idea that I have, but this one's going to get stolen and it's going to get made and I'm going to lose all my money. You know the game Trivia Crack? Yeah. you know the game trivia crack yeah trivia crack but it's like customized to help students study for their tests what like flash cards like the game but instead you're studying for a test while playing that fun-ass game against your friends damn i like that genius that is good genius that is good should have given that one first let's cut this no no that's good i don't want that in there why

don't you just if you have learned how to make my t's you could have built that out that's what i want that's why i wanted to start as education i came up with that idea after i watched social network and i was like it's i was like i need to go to Harvard. Instead you went to Barstool? Instead I signed a full four-year contract. I don't know what I'm saying. You're making more than Zuckerberg now, though. Pretty much, dude. And God knows that's the... Other than giving me equity.

After you gave him the trivia crack idea. Am I supposed to say that I got equity? Well, I knew that Tommy did. I didn't know that you did, too. You and Tommy are the new faces of this. We're going to have to cut this, too. Trivia crack and the equity part. You guys are the faces of the company now.

New Mount Rushmore. I would be so pissed if they found out that I got equity. You, Chicken Fry, Tommy, and Rudy. Yep. The future of the New York office. New Big Four. When we moved in. Barstool TMZ. When they moved into York office. New big four. R-stool TMZ.

When they moved into this office, do you remember when they had the big mural on the wall of all the people sitting on a beam together? They had built it and then the less important people were painted smaller. You and Caleb had small ass faces. Everybody was painted smaller

and there was a fat pen. I'm sure people were pissed on the low, but it's just the most narcissistic thing of all time i was pumped when they painted over that to paint yourselves onto the walls of the company yeah that's so fucking preposterous like that's like pretentious if you're like a 90 year old billionaire who has like a portrait of yourself hanging over your own fireplace much less being like a young cool company yeah it was it was the worst part was that like how they all looked in the painting like they all looked like they was like who was it was big hat dave k marco kfc erica and they were all it looked like they were all just like hanging out like having a chat

like all smiling like buddy buddy i get a wedding picture when they tell everyone to like like act like you're talking to each other and yeah trying to look like the last supper yeah it was that was shaky that was a shaky period that was like a two-year period it was just not great with aesthetics around here oh no we struggle yeah with the aesthetics but that's all right though we're getting it we'll better. It looks like we work in a factory. It looks like we work in a fucking yeah, like a garment factory. Like there's just shit strewn

all over. All the walls are just gray. This looks better by a lot. These red sweatshirts look fucking sick. Oh, these are this was a good move. We're gonna get so many views. People are just gonna be tricked into it.

This is probably gonna be our highest viewed episode. Everyone's gonna be like, what is up with those reds? Oh, the fucking redcoats are coming. That's what happens when me and Rowan are about to bust. Redcoats are coming. Fuck yeah, bro. That's a zinger. Coming.

Love that. C-U-M-M. I get it, bro. I know, I totally actually get that people see me and rowan pulling up to this stew damn red coats yeah dude that how i mean i guess we talked about it on the act but the uh that stripper shit was the worst uh the worst thing that's ever happened what are you like what are you doing on the phone i've got this roback ad okay is that cool?

What? Talking about that? The Roback ad? Oh, yeah. I just didn't know if you were reading. It looks like someone paid you to read that off. A statement? The stripper stuff.

Yeah. All right. Roback activewear. The best way to describe Roback is fit. Best feel. I feel like they could have described it that way. You guys want just me to describe it? Because they have a fucking...

It literally just says, best way to describe Broback is best fit, best feel. Hell yeah. Alright, well, use code son. No, alright. I love Brobackuck and I think that They could be more eloquent about themselves I think that they could wax poetic about how

That we're launching into the fall season And it's going to be your Every time best fit and best feel It's going to be something that you can wear In the mornings when you're hanging out You can wear it to work you can wear it on the weekends That crisp fall air It was a little bit too crisp for me

Got too crisp for a minute dude too crisp too fast everybody acts like they love fall i love the fall but it got real crisp up in russia it was 45 degrees in rochester yeah detroit was not sweet either yeah that shit is too crisp that's not even crisp that is fucking that's painful yeah i don't like being launched into that shit but if you are going to get launched into it get launched with roback because they're going to look out to for you and we're pumped to introduce all of you to rowback because it's top notch we can't stop wearing rowback and when it comes to quality these guys just do not miss they have performance polos hoodies quarter zips and they are so incredibly soft and comfortable it is hard to believe. They also have performance joggers, which are my favorite.

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hughesco's son on roback.com for 20 off your first purchase holy fuck that's spelled roback r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com that's 20 off polos q-zips hoodies and the newly released joggers with code son dude i can't wait to wear some robacks to go to Billy Murphy's saloon down in East Falls. Get some fucking pig wings, dude. Sit there, watch the birds for the entire day.

Oh, hell yeah. I know we watched the birds at Mike's house when you came to East Falls, but we should have gone over to Billy Murphy's. Billy Murphy's. God damn. Some good memories in there. What are you going to?

Are you going to Philly? No, no. I got to go to fucking... Where are you going this weekend, bro? Pop Punk Festival. Talk to him. The Pop Punk Festival is this weekend. Oh, say less.

Yeah, bro. My ticket. Are you going to come down? That's the one with the Lumineers and shit, right? Yeah. Dude, we get there for free. Yeah. Yeah.

How do I get there? People keep asking if we're going i'm like if i'm paying i'm not going but if i would pay to go i think the only thing available is like three day passes for like four hundred dollars no well you gave your boy tell them sass is pulling up i know the band yeah tell lumineers you gave the big fans gave your boy 400 for a car dude you can't pay 400 for entertainment that you'll actually enjoy? I would enjoy that. That would be so fun.

What's it called? What's the festival called? Ocean's Calling. Ocean's Calling. In Ocean City, Maryland. God damn. It's going to be fucking sweet. And I've been on a Cage the Elephant kick like never before.

You have? Oh, yeah. I belong to you. Yeah. You belong to me, you're my sweet. But Lumineers would be sick i feel like illuminators might get a little fruity though the fuck do you mean by that you know what i mean what do you mean by that

yeah a little fruity what the fuck do you mean by that dude just a bunch of dudes i belong with you you belong with me in my hey you ever stand on canal and bowery no i was stand on canal and bowery no I was standing on canal bowery every time I'm by canal I love their songs

their songs are so good but I love when they're doing the hey ho they have more good songs but they always they always throw the hey ho in every song yeah it's their shit that's all that dude that they got some good shit. Sing some Cage the Elephant, bro. Cigarette Daydreams?

Cigarette Daydreams, but that one's a little... Sing it, though. No, no, no. Why, why, why, why? You know what I've been big on, though, recently, is Cage the Elephant. This song fucking rules. Back Against the Wall. Ooh. That's like my... I listen listen that's only 10 times a day and i'm just like fucking jamming to it oh we're gonna get copyrighted turn that shit

two seconds that shit was two seconds what the hell are you thinking you gotta get on you gotta get on cage the elephant more i love cage the other thing you'll get to meet him i get to meet the boys i know the one dude nick bachrath a little bit yeah he used to be in a band called to his wedding oh he used to be in a band in philly called uh used to be on kotd yeah he actually used to battle rap it's the same kind of vibe because i knew him just from from the Philly music scene back in the day. What the fuck was the name of his band, dude?

Nico's Gun. You should big man him. I can't big man him. Why? Big man him. Be like, dude, this is great. This is great that we're both on the same line. It's pretty cool that you're doing... It seems like you're doing pretty good.

Holy shit, I didn't know you guys were going to be here. That's crazy. Good for you guys. pretty good. Holy shit. I didn't know you guys were going to be here. That's crazy. Good for you guys. You know where the Lumineers are at? Oh, man. I'm also hosting like some food stage. And the guy, Andrew Zimmern from, have you ever watched that guy from like, what's it called?

Weird Foods or some shit like that. He goes around the world and eats like fucking disgusting shit like snails. No, that sounds... But I think he's a very famous chef. Oh, cool. But I think this shit is going to be sweet, but I'm worried about this storm, dude. Have you seen this storm that's going on?

Ian. Is that what it's named? That's it's name. His name. Damn, that's it. It's going to be a nasty one because it's a dude. And they're stronger than women. Even in hurricanes. his name. Damn, that's a... You know it's going to be a nasty one because it's a dude. I know, but... And they're stronger than women. Even in hurricanes. It's actually not true

because Katrina was the most powerful one of all time. Well, what about Harvey? Sandy. Yeah, Sandy, Harvey. No, Harvey's a dude. Do you think Harvey

was a girl's name? That depends on how you look at it. Do you think Harvey Weinstein was a woman? You never know these days. Why is Harvey Weinstein getting such a hard time? She gets a bad rap.

I was just watching that episode of Curb. It was the first episode of season one where fucking... What's the guy's name? Who's that comic in the show? Larry David's assistant. Jeff... Goldblum? Jeff...

Something like that. Goldsteins no but he's we're the Gold he's in the Goldbergs Goldbergs that's what it was is his name not Goldberg

no we're the Goldbergs I don't know there's an episode I forget what his name is but it's Juanette no

big guy Larry's an up assistant no it's just it's his manager it's Larry's manager I know who you're talking about yeah there's an up assistant. No, it's his manager. It's Larry's manager. I know who you're talking about. Yeah, there's an episode in the show where he... People will be infuriated at home right now, screaming the name into their...

Jeff Garland? Yeah, Jeff Garland. Their tall radio that they have. Jeff Garland kind of looks like Harvey Weinstein. He's walking down the street and some girl, lady comes up to him and she's like, you're a fucking pig. And he's like, who the fuck invited you to this party and then someone's like no no no that's not harvey weinstein oh my god so funny they do look a lot alike though yeah shout out to fucking larry david yeah dude

larry david's the larry david's the sneaky he's sneaky talented larry david used to do king of the dot yeah dude i watched some battle rap this weekend uh dude there was a guy who uh who fucking at like the biggest battle rap of the year summer madness 12 this massive event and uh this guy's been doing it for years and dude he keeps on throwing up on stage really in the middle of his battle rap on purpose no he's rapping and he'll he'll just like start throwing up in the middle of his battle rap on purpose no he's rapping and he'll he'll just like start throwing up in the middle nerves i guess it's from there it's got to be from nerves or like that's fucking crazy he has acid in his stomach you got to pick a different career i think at that point he's been doing it since he was like 16 years old he's like 24 now is he good

yeah he's very good and he's like uh you know respected new york dude like just pukes yeah like he's fucking crazy just throw up on stage and he'll have, you know, respected New York dude. He just pukes? Yeah. That's fucking crazy. He'll just throw up on stage and he'll have his boys with him. It really is exactly that. And it's like to the point where everyone's even made all the good jokes about it. There's not even good jokes anymore from the mom spaghetti standpoint that someone could rebuttal with because it's just like seven times that he's thrown up. That's nuts.

Even his boys will be like, dude, you're good. I love you, bro, but just not on the Balenci's. That's hilarious. At least don't throw up on my shoes. Dude, do you know Reggie Kush? Is he a stand-up? He's a stand-up slash battle rapper. I think you introduced me to him.

I did? At the stand. I might have. I think you did. Yeah, we met. He's always posting bars. Yeah. He's always spitting.

I think he was going to do a battle rap, some kind of competition or some shit like that. He's doing it at the Caroline's. Caroline's. Yeah, yeah. Or New York Comedy Fest. Yeah, that's going to be dope. Yeah. That's going to be fantastic.

Are you going to go? What are you doing for NYC CF? Nothing. What? Yeah. What? They're doing you wrong. The fucking industry hates us, dude.

I know. I can't believe this comedy industry. See Column? Column's on Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, tonight. Which is hilarious. That is hilarious because he's a piece of shit. He's the dirtiest comic I know.

I have no idea what he's... I'm very excited. He invited me to watch it somewhere tonight but like dude uh i have no idea what material he possibly could have done he's gonna say the the most fucked up shit ever or just completely new it's gonna be all new shit it's gotta be all shit that he wrote for this that's hilarious who uh i guess he is just industry i was gonna say who got him into this or how did he got it? I think he got it.

He was at the cellar and I think the booker was there. Yeah. And they're just like this. And they liked his set. So they were like sending a tape. This cunt's funny. Yeah. That was actually months ago.

And then nothing ever, he never said anything about it, but then I guess he did it. I'm pumped to watch it. Dude, look at you fucking surrounding yourself with talent that you can name drop. I know. Nothing for your boy though. Jimmy Fallon? SNL?

Yeah. Nothing for your boy. Why not? You're making enough money to buy cars for your friends. I'm just humble, dude. You're literally just showering. I didn't buy a car for my friend. You literally did and he paid you back, but you're acting as the bank in this situation. I am the bank. You are the bank. I know this. You went from spending

time at the bank to physically... Yeah, you manifested the bank. You spent so much time am the bank you are the bank you went from spending time at the bank to physically in the bank yeah you manifested the bank yeah you spent so much time at the bank that you yeah robots in disguised into being the actual fucking bank which is sick you're sick i know you're on one you're talking about all your friends getting all this shit dude all those dudes are like fucking 35 dude those are my those are my best friends that you're talking about yeah aren't you 35 not yet but fucking i will be i'm trying to get their accomplishments really why are you so down on yourself i'm not i'm not down on myself being down on yourself i don't like it bro i get down on myself like marilyn manson bro that's good you know how he sucked his own cock? Yeah, he sucked his cock, yeah.

What were you saying about coming red or something like that? Well, we moved on from that a good bit ago. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't our strongest. That wasn't my strongest joke. Well, we're just trying out some more wordplay type of shit. Yeah, we're going for a little bit of a more wordplay. We're a wordplay-based comedy.

It's a lot of crossword puzzles and fucking keep the brain sharp. What else? What else? I was at a wedding this weekend. Remember the Marine bachelor party that I went to? Yeah. It was the culmination of that. And so we were out with all the Marines, dude.

And I read at the wedding. I did a reading and I literally fucking blew the roof off the place. Really? If you give me the word of God, I'll fucking sing it from the rooftop. That's awesome. Were they fired up? People were so complimentary about it. It was the most good feedback I've ever gotten from something in my entire life.

Yeah. Everyone was so nice to me about it. People were nervous about talking. Of course not. No. And I was being such a cocksucker about it that I almost burst out laughing. I was taking long pauses, looking at the bride and groom. Were they mad?

No. They didn't know you were fucking around or they thought you were being serious? Everyone loved it. Everyone absolutely loved it. Dude, do you want to hear the reading? Yeah. I'll do it for you right now. I took a picture of it just in case.

Just in case what? In case I lost the paper okay okay a reading how long is this this long okay like a poem they wanted to make sure it wasn't like 10 pages how long is this gonna be I used to do you know I used to do this used to read in mass

to read at church that is where to God you did that's fucking insane from the the boys to pop on boys I gotta get out with them in a minute but are you leaving You did it. I swear to God. You did? That's fucking insane. From the huh and huh. The boys, the pop-on boys. I got to get out with them in a minute. When are you leaving?

I got to leave in... For what? Are you going to the show like today? No, we have practice. We have practice. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. All right, read.

A reading from the letter to the Hebrews. Brothers and sisters, let mutual love continue. Do not neglect hospitality for through it some of us have entertained angels be mindful of prisoners as of sharing their imprisonment and of the ill treated as of yourselves for you are also in the body what does that even fucking mean dude in the body let marriage be honored among all keep spitting and the marriage bed kept undefiled for life let your life be free from love of money see i didn't stutter in the moment dude i was spitting i'm having a hard time believing this is like when

josh prey tried to battle you on the act i know dude fuck dude i feel like i'm fucking this up and when i said it in the moment dude i was like I literally because when you're in the moment you lock in dialed in I locked in dude I got distracted by pop punk dude you saw the boys walking out without you that must have been upsetting to see they were walking out with Caroline yeah with Caroline

alright bro yo Roan you're off we're going to the bullpen yeah we're gonna go meet up with the cage. That's what they would call them? The cage. A-C-C-T-E. C-T-E?

Holy shit. It'll blow your fucking mind. It'll blow your fucking brains out. Let's call a C-T-E the way we're going to freaking destroy your brain. Dude, I can't believe how I just fumbled that fucking reading. Yeah, you did fuck it up pretty bad. That's fucking terrible. And I was just bragging so much about it.

I usually don't even really brag like that. Not like that. And I started to brag. That's what happens when I start to brag. That was probably God humbling me. That was karma. That was definitely God being like, uh-uh, even my greatest servants,

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Done. Soko is so tasteful, and it's just the right mix of sass and class. That's my kind of whiskey. Times change. You were probably supposed to say that. No. Because sass and class is my kind of whiskey. Times change. You were probably supposed to say that. No. Because like sass and class.

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and getting lost in the rain you see that uh beyonce is gonna sing at the super Bowl? Yeah. I mean, Rihanna? Yeah. Dude, I literally didn't do any... I feel like I missed yesterday. Detached from the world. I was just not on the internet at all. That's kind of sweet, though. No, it's good. It was good.

I listened to a lot of podcasts, a lot of music, a lot of cage. Shout out the pods just too much cage really yeah giving you brain damage no it was giving me cte oh sass come on what pods did you listen to shout them out i listened to a lot of manchains little rogan okay little fucking true crime okay dude how about how about on when uh when fucking louis ck went on rogan and he was like when mozart put out his ninth symphony he was booed the people were furious with him and i was like oh that's crazy and i looked it up and people loved his

ninth symphony they fucking intermittently cheered it as it was happening. Yeah. CK gets a little intellectual on podcasts. Yeah, I fucking like it though. I like it too. I feel like he spits facts, but that one- He's a smart dude. Yeah, he's too smart. Too smart.

His brain is way too big. You gotta get smart like that. You probably can bend spoons by looking at them. Yeah, he's a smart guy. Intimidatingly smart. He's a wise man too. And good processes. He was at the top and he lost it all. Yeah, he's a smart guy. Intimidatingly smart. He's a wise man too. And good processes. He was at the top and he lost it all. Yeah.

Now he's coming back. That's the best way to get some good ass wisdom. Fall off. That's how you open your third eye. Fall off hard. Yeah. Ask for a raise. Don't get it. And then just come back swinging. And then just make your own money. Climb out of the mud like a fucking swamp thing. I'm saving up all my money

to buy Barstool. Yeah. Fire dave you're gonna buy him a car yeah here dave here's a bugatti dude those videos of people just being like uh i was on i've been getting a little into too into the reels lately on instagram a little too into reels because it's uh addicting diet diet tiktok i'll go as far to say it might be worse than tiktok all right but dude like that shit is designed to be like the dumbest stuff ever that they just want to fill our brains with it who's they the government zuckerberg zuckerberg they're trying to make us you can code they're trying to make us dumb and i'll catch myself watching i'll be like dude what the fuck am I doing right now? And I'll put it down.

No, you won't. I swear to God. I've caught myself multiple times recently. Why am I watching this? Nothing. I'll open up a book. Really? Yeah.

I'll say it's time to inform myself. How long do you read for before you go back to your phone? Zero. Zero. Dude, I've been reading for like two hours a night. Let's fucking go. It's flying through this book right now. That's got to be good for your brain.

That's probably why you're writing these tags or these jokes. It's brain. It's good for the brain. Dude, getting off of social media is so good for the brain. I recommend you to do the same. You're not off of social media. I recommend you to do the same. You're not doing what you're saying.

Yes, I am. You're not off. The hell are you talking about? You're off social media. Oh, I Yes, I am. You're not off. The hell are you talking about? You're off social media? Bro, I recommend deleting all your apps. I'm off. My phone doesn't even have... The only app I've got now is the Barstool Sportsbook.

I just took a bet, actually. I forget what I even took. This is the gambling portion of the show. Let's talk picks. We'll come back to picks with Sass and Roan. What are your picks for tonight? Huh? Huh?

I like the Giants, G-men. You taking the over? No, under. The under? Yeah. I take the over. Yeah. Well, this will be out by the time people hear about this,

so one of us will be right. And I took correct score 23-21 Cowboys. So. And if that wins, I make $1,000. Sethy. So, yeah. If both of those hit, that would be fucking awesome. Can you buy, with their $1,000, can you buy me a car?

I'll buy, I'll give you a down payment for a car. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. I'll take that. You don't have a car. You got a you got a whip no no you don't have a whip in the city well we do so you do have a car what the fuck is that where where was the no where to be honest it's really my it's my wife's car yeah yeah she lets you rent it out sometimes yeah she let she puts it on toro and lets me drive it i I don't fuck with Toro. Yeah, I'm going to need $600. Toro fucked me. Yeah?

Yeah, back in LA. How? I signed up for it. Oh, yeah, you were trying to go like... Trying to go hiking. You were going to go drive to a hike? I was trying to get out in the wilderness. I know. And it wouldn't let me because you have to be like 25 to use the app,

even though it says you have to be 18. It's really because you weren't wearing your rollerblades. That's why the Toro guy was probably just a yak listener being like uh uh yeah are you fired up right now what do you mean because the acrylics you get a lot of angry dms oh yeah yeah big time yeah people are like nail check what do you see your reply i show them one of my nails what do you do what do you mean oh hell yeah hell yeah. The middle finger. That's good. That's smart.

This fucking nail. Yeah. What, uh, you say you're gonna get him? Of course, I got him. I'm getting him tonight. How's the, how's the ball and chain

feeling about that? She was like, your, your work is trying to turn you into a full-blown homosexual and that threatens our nuclear family unit. She is homophobic as fuck, too. No, dude, most of her friends are gay, dudes.

Most of her friends are gay serial killers. Holy shit, really? All of her friends are, yeah. Dude, did you see that the show is under the LGBTQ on Netflix? Is it actually? Yeah. Isn't that fucking crazy? How? Oh, because he's gay? Yeah. The show is under the LGBTQ on Netflix. Is it actually? Yeah. Isn't that fucking crazy?

How? Oh, because he's gay? Yeah. I have a whole bit about him. I'm doing about it. No way. Come out to the show. Where's your next show? See you guys in Austin.

When's the fucking show, bro? I'm going to be in Austin at some point in October. At the Creek in the Cave. And also a lot of people have been asking when I'm coming to Boston. I'll be in Boston I believe in February at Laugh Boston. Dude, I gotta go to this practice. Alright, you want me to rip

solo for a bit? No, no, no. I'm not gonna let you rip solo. How long have you been going? I'll rip solo, dude. I don't care. Like 80 minutes. I think we got one more ad. 80 minutes? Shit. Alright, let me take this fucking we've really been going for 80 minutes i was gonna say i felt like we were running out of stuff to talk about and i was like i feel like we've only been going for like 30 minutes really

so we had this was a good episode that's been a great episode hell yeah i've been fine all right i've been having a blast i've been giggling my little dick off perception of what is an hour because now the yak is just not it's just not an hour long show anymore. It's like an hour and a half minimum. So now that feels like what this should be. You just also hit flow state with your conversations. I've been on flow state for a bit. What picks did you have

this weekend that hit? Eagles minus I have one that hit. Dolphins money line. Lions with the money. I was betting against some people's teams that I don't want to be on the wrong side of. But let's just say, big payday for the boy. 30 bucks in the pocket. Damn, Sass.

Brother, treat yourself to a turkey sandwich from the episode. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You deserve it. Then I put it all on my Giants or my Cowboys. Fuck the Cowboys. But I did bet on them tonight. Facts, bro.

Fuck the Cowboys. That was a good-ass slap, bro. And I bet on the Eagles. But I don't think I bet. I think I did a parlay and it didn't hit. You didn't hit the rest of them? Just bet on the Eagles straight up, dude. Bet on the Eagles to win the Super Bowl.

I know. I should have. They're sick, right? Oh, actually, I meant to put that in, yeah. And Penn State. Wagon. Definitely bet on the Eagles.

Penn State, it's tough because it's just, you know they're going to lose. Yeah, Ohio State? Yeah. Ohio State's so sick. It'll be a good game. I'm going for it.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going down to State for it. Are you actually going to go down? Solo trip. No way. Yeah. Where are you going to stay? Atherton? I'm going to sleep. I'm going down to state for it. Are you actually going to go down? Solo trip. No way. Where are you going to stay? Atherton? I'm going to sleep in the Impress, bro.

That's a nice thing for the hatchback. You can really stretch out. How funny would that be if I was sleeping on a six-hour drive? That would be a fucking... Pulling over for like 30 minutes to crash just to take advantage of the hatchback. Just to fully stretch out in the Imprez. I actually thought about that at one point yesterday. I was like, dude, I got to take a nap.

Just having like a TikTok account where you like tricked out. Yeah, yeah. Like van life. I'm in a van. Pulling over in the Lincoln Tunnel. Crashing. Dude, I opened my windows in the Lincoln Tunnel the other day.

The worst decision I've ever made. Oh, why? Did it just smell like fumes? It was, I couldn't breathe. Dude, yeah. It was like the wind was on his ass. Yeah, dude.

That happened to me yesterday, but I didn't even have the windows open, but I was like, holy shit, because you're in traffic and all the cars are running. Yeah.

And I'm like, dude, this feels unhealthy. I feel like I could have a class action suit against the city of New York for having to breathe that. People probably, people that have to take that tunnel every day. Yikes. Yikes, dude.

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Head on down to Shady Rays. It's Shady Rays, baby. You should be doing all their ads. They need to cut me a check. They seriously do. Head on. It's Shady Rays, baby. You send Sass a picture of you in his Shady Rays,

then he will do a personalized. I'll do a personalized Shady Rays read for you. For you. You'll be added to it. Let's go. Bird gang. Dude, the bird gang morale is so high in this office. Oh, yeah.

We're pumped. Everybody who's Eagles fans and Penn State fans. Us Eagle boys are fired up right now. The Eagle boys are going crazy. Are the birds going to be pissed that I'm wearing this Patriots jersey? Definitely. Dude, I only did it to match with you. I know.

I know. So it's basically like I'm wearing it, and I'm wearing this shirt just to fuck with you. Bro, when you're wearing a Mississippi, are you wearing an Old Miss? Yeah. Old Miss. Old Miss.

Old Miss. Old Miss. I said Old Miss. I don't care. I call you Little Sasquatch. I don't fucking say it right. Old Miss in Oxford. Oxford town, Oxford town.

It's such a... Everybody's heading down to Oxford town. That's Bob Dylan. Oh, is it actually? I thought you were riffing. No. Damn, bro. You know that riffing actually started on guitars, dude. I believe that. Yeah. Believe that. Alright, you gotta get out of here. Yeah, I gotta get out of here. I also gotta pee.

What are you about to have for dinner tonight, bro? Turkey sandwich, two of them. And then I'm going to go to Patty McGuire's to watch Columns set live. Okay, meet him at Patty McGuire's yesterday. Think about it. What? Think about it. Just threw you off.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Come out to Patty McGuire's tonight. Yeah, that would be funny. Yeah, it would. That would be fucking funny. Absolute fucking fools. All right, what are you going gonna do with that sweatshirt if you don't wear it probably throw it away it was 70 no it wasn't i swear to god it was was it really yes why would you buy it for you there's no way you bought it for me i don't i don't believe you this is how

you try and make me look bad you definitely needed a sweatshirt you're like i'll buy this and then you're like i'm gonna tell everyone i'm gonna tell everyone i bought it for me. I don't believe you. This is how you try and make me look bad. You definitely needed a sweatshirt and you're like, I'll buy this. And then you're like, I'm going to tell everyone I bought it for sass. When did I need a sweatshirt? I wore a suit all day yesterday. Tyler was with me. And you flew home this morning. Maybe you didn't want to wear a suit on the plane. How could I wear a sweatshirt? How could I buy a sweatshirt in the morning when I had a flight at 8am? At the store?

What store? Dude, this is a sweatshirt that you buy at the airport. I bought it at the restaurant that I was at last night. You can check if that restaurant actually sells those. Okay, I'll keep it. And I won't throw it away. No, you have to wear it or just like give it to someone who will wear it. I'm not going to throw it away. It is a nice sweatshirt.

What are you going to do with it? And I was thinking, I was like, this has to be at least 70. It is 70. 60% cotton, 40% polyester. The restaurant was called The Apparatus Room. It was at the Detroit Foundation Hotel. I walked there last night, and the Detroit Foundation Hotel sells those. I saw one on the rack, and I said this would be perfect for Little Sasquatch.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Lil Sas, Lil Sas. Ah, ah, ah. What? You liar. What? I've caught you ah, ah. What? You liar. What? I've caught you in a lie. What?

I can see where you ripped the tag off. What are you talking about? There was a tag here once and then someone ripped it off. I didn't want you to know how much it cost. No, no. This is the tag that is built in that you only rip off if it's like itchy on the back of your neck. No, not at all.

Yes. Yes, 100%. And then you get it and you're like, oh, I got to rip this off because it's itching on the back of my head. No one pre-rips this tag off. The price is not on this tag. I don't want you to know how much I spent on it. Liar. I don't want you to know.

Where did you get this? Whose is this? I got it at the apparatus room. I don't want this fucking sweatshirt. Why? This is someone else's sweatshirt. No, it's not. Yes, it is, is dude i just caught

you in a lie you can literally see the white right here what are you talking about the tag was ripped because i took off the tag no you didn't you don't pre-rip the tag like that i did this is the tag that just says what size it is what are you talking about this place the apparatus room sells those sweatshirts dude you're i bought it last night. I caught you in a lie. If you're in Detroit, go through the apparatus room. Snap a picture of the sweatshirt. I just caught you in a deep, deep lie. Send it to Sass. Send it to Sass.

Get something, Brandon. Yeah. What do you need? A notebook. Your notebook? How's the voice feeling? Not good. Doesn't sound great.

Voice sounds like Cookie Monster. That's doing great. Well, we're done. So, all right. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Check out the Brandon Walker Show on YouTube. 500,000 views in two days. Yeah.

We'll see you guys next week. Come see Roan out in Maryland at Ocean's Store. Ocean's Calling. Ocean's Calling. You're going to be there, Seth. I'll be there. I swear to God I bought that last night for you. All right.

We'll let the viewers decide. All right. All right.