Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 82 - Looking for Love in Buffalo (feat. Maddy Smith)

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Maddy Smith joins the show again to talk about Miles Teller, Aaron Rodgers haircut, her mission to date a Buffalo Bills player, soft faces, and more. Francis also drops in later in the episode to tell some stories about his time on the road with Sas and Maddy. Funny episode.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Yes. Today, we are joined by returning guest, friend of the pod, Maddie Smith. What is up?

Madeline Smith. Madeline. Madeline Eileen. What is up? Madeline Smith. Madeline. Madeline Eileen. What is up? Welcome back. Madeline. Madeline Eileen. Madeline Eileen Smith.

Yep. Hell yeah. What about people who say Madeline, though? Do you fuck with that or no? I fuck with anything. You know, like, someone called me Madison for, like, three years. And then one day I was like, it's Madeline. Why didn't you tell me?

It's my ex. It is tough to correct someone, but you have to do it right away. Yeah, otherwise you're stuck. Otherwise you're stuck. I don't really care, though. I'm not really someone. You know how when you go to, like, Starbucks and – Are you putting bits on us right now?

No. Oh, my God. You're getting into material. What's new with coffee? You started giggling as soon as you said Starbucks. I know. This is a good one. I was, like, writing before this. I was like material? I was new with coffee. You started giggling as soon as you said Starbucks. I know. This is a good one. I was like writing before this.

I was like, oh, that'll be good. No, but you know when they're like, how do you spell it? Like, why the fuck does it matter? Yeah, no, it doesn't. My buddy, his name's Bo. And when he goes to Starbucks and stuff, he says his name is Bob. Because they never, they're like, how do you spell that? And he just doesn't feel like doing it.

That's annoying. They'll put like an X on Bo. Like B-E-A-U-X or some shit like that. Those dumbasses over at Starbucks. Fucking idiots. Fucking idiots. Working so hard. Well, they're unionizing now,

so it's over for us. Are they? That's a damn shame. Oh, no. I just come out as secretly Republican. What do you think about unions? Women in the workplace. No, we hate unions here.

We had to hate unions. I used to like unions. There's a big union scandal here. Oh, shit. Many moons ago. A union busted us. We were trying to organize, and they came in with wrenches and beat the fuck out of us. Yeah, totally.

Old school. Dave Portnoy, our boss. Beat the shit out of you, and you didn't even have healthcare to take care of it. He was like, your working conditions are good. And tell all of Instagram. You like where you work. You get paid in a barstool store gift cards. That's great.

That's sick. It's like food stamps. Our food stamps. You can get meals at the barstool store. You can get government cheese. You can get one order of pardon my cheese steak a week. No hot food though. Oh, no can get like one order of Pardon My Cheese steak a week. No hot food, though.

Oh, no, no, no. Not food, no. Not the ABT rules. Not at all. Yeah, no alcohol. You should start going by Madeline. Wait, what is it? It's Madeline Eileen?

Madeline. Madeline Eileen. Madeline. Why don't you go by that on Wildin' Out? Yeah, why not? Total kind of minor name change. Yeah, yeah. Madeline Eileen. Madeline Eileen. Madeline Eileen. It's kind of minor name change yeah yeah Madeline Eileen

Madeline Eileen Madeline Eileen it's kind of yeah Madeline Eileen that kind of oh it's Madeline I'm saying but if you were

pronouncing it Madeline Eileen like it kind of has a little it has a little flow to it Madeline Eileen yeah

work off that let's spin on that cause you know it's a dream I'm here with the team and it's Madeline Alene something like that but you said you just filmed a bunch of Wild N Out

what are some we just filmed two seasons back to back that's fucking nuts dude that's a lot of work it kind of felt like were you guys in frats or no you know how in frats I had a few frat friends and they said like during their hazing they played music like over and over and over again until you go crazy for like 12 hours like abu grabe kind of like torture music the intro song to weeds

remember that song oh yeah yeah yeah boxes my friend like went crazy from that that's what i feel like after doing right well i like when they do the remixes of it. Joking, but that's how I feel post doing two seasons back to back. It's wildin'. You're like,

wildin', wildin'. Are you trying to, like, get tame now after you've just been wildin' out? I'm trying to tame out.

Yeah, I'm trying to tame down. Tame up, tame down. Do they bring in different audiences for every one, or do they just,

like, rotate new people into the front row so it looks like a new audience? They always bring new ones in, but there's some people who came to every episode. I know. That's a little bit much. What are the Wild N' Out fans called, like the groupies?

Black people. It is a fact, though. But hey. Slow keep musical theater for black people. Okay, here's my take. All of TV right now is like musical theater. Yeah. Watching kids put on a, you're like, oh my God.

Yeah, I don't really watch a lot of TV. Me neither. Yeah, I'm more of a streaming guy. I watch a lot of Netflix. That is TV shows. What are you talking about? That's TV. I watch a lot of Netflix. That is TV shows. What are you talking about? That's TV. I'm just into books.

You just don't get it. I don't. I've been hearing a lot about Abbott Elementary. I haven't watched it, but I more hear about TV than watch TV. I hear more. I see memes about TV. Yeah, I see. I pretend to know what they're talking about.

I just watched the Dahmer show, but I just realized I've talked about that like 15 times. But that is TV. Have you seen it? No. I don't really like the serial killer.

You don't like murder? No, I know, and it's so weird with me. Like, everyone likes, I know it's like a hot take, but like, I don't like violence. Ew, what?

I don't like true crime. I know it's so weird. That's how you watch them. I can't. It hurts. Like, what do I watch then? I don't know. Just like the Teletubbies and the Wiggles.

Isn't there like a bunch of conspiracy theories behind the Teletubbies? I don't know. Like what? Like some fucked up shit went down. Oh, I thought that they were like grooming. Yeah. They groom the Teletubbies? No, they're grooming the kids to be gay or something like that.

Okay. I feel like that's like an old take. I feel like that predates even grooming. That's what they said about that, what's it called, guy, too? What is it? Who was the neighbor? Jeffrey Dahmer.

Jeffrey Dahmer. Who was the guy that did the song? Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers. He was grooming? He said he was grooming kids into being gay. You can't put smut on Mr. Rogers, man. Shut up.

Really? Yeah, there's a whole documentary about Mr. Rogers, and it's like, oh, dude, there was riots at his funeral. No, dude. That's massive protest. It's like a good documentary about Mr. Rogers. Dude, there was riots at his funeral. There's massive protests. It's like a good documentary about Mr. Rogers. Until the end, until he dies.

Can we Google this? Let's get to the bottom of this. He was like a good guy. He has tattoo sleeves under the red sweater. That's not real, though. That's all propaganda. You think? I know, I've seen them.

No, that's not true. I'm looking at seven different conspiracies right now. Mr. Rogers was like the only guy who has proven good. I know, but I'm saying. I thought so too. No, I don't actually believe any of that, but there was like riots at his funeral. Really? Like anti-gay.

I was rioting because I was pissed he was dead. Bring him back. Bring him back. Bring him back to life. Say his name. Say his name.who um legend say we say his name for mr rogers who died of like natural causes no he was definitely mentally fucked up no he wasn't dude he was the least mentally fucked up person at all. Just don't get it, dude.

I watched a documentary, and then I watched a movie where somebody played him. On Hanks? Yeah. And the only conflict was he played a note wrong on the piano or something like that to show his frustration. Because I was funded by his family's foundation. The real story. Was it?

I have no idea. He's a nepotism baby? Oh, my God. What a piece of shit. His parents have Wikipedias? They have blue links. What a piece of shit, dude. Wikipedia.

Wait, he went to Tisch? Fuck. Yeah, he's an NYU kid? Fuck, Mr. Rogers, dude. What an absolute piece of shit. Wait, did you go to NYU? Yeah. Oh, did you go to NYU?

Yeah. No. We both did. We were roommates. He didn't go to NYU, dude. I didn you go to NYU? Yeah. Oh, did you go to NYU? Yeah. No. We both did. We were roommates. He didn't go to NYU, dude. I didn't go to NYU. I like basically failed out of high school.

Oh. See, I thought that but then I was like, is Harry like secretly like a... I was like, nah, he's just dumb. He could be though.

He could be like a secretly smart artsy kid. Yeah. It's true. I am. No, I did not go to NYU. I dropped out of college. Where did you go to college?

Penn State. Oh. No, that's a lie. He's lying again, dude. Oh, shit. He's back to back lying to you. Well, why wouldn't you believe the answer that he gave you? Why wouldn't I believe a friend?

Why wouldn't I believe a friend? I can't fib? Exactly. No. He's just fibbing a little bit. Just a light fib. Fibbing out. I know. It's crazy. No. He was just fibbing a little bit. Just a light fib. Fibbing out. I know.

It's crazy. Dude, you know what? I heard someone call Theo Vaughn a bigot the other day. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you revealing our conversation? Who said that? I saw someone call him a bigot, but then it's like, it's crazy that you work with a bigot

and you're on Wilds and Out. My life blows my mind. You're like Hannah Montana. Yeah.ana everybody makes mistakes everybody has those days um dude it's really weird i'm just like i don't know i'm a shapeshifter i do think i uh i do be code what's it called code switching is that what it's called yeah but you you don't because you just said i do be code switching in a room full of white people so you know what i mean that's that shows that you don't because you just said, I do be code switching in a room full of white people. So, you know what I mean? That shows that you don't code switch. It just wears off on you, you know?

Yeah, yeah. You're stuck in the other code. What is it like opening? So, open up about that. What are some traumatizing experiences? I feel like I'm on Howard Stern. Oh, you know, just the usual. I mean, the most traumatizing thing is just being surrounded by men all the time.

There's nothing else Gross Really? Burn Yeah Fuck Yeah that is fucked up Bad

Fuck you dude You're bad Fuck that That's bullshit dude Are you gonna let her talk like this? I know right On our men show? We're gonna have to send you over to KFC early

They're gonna get loose on KFC You're going on KFC later on this week? Yeah I'm going on Wednesday I can't believe they stole our guest I know after we stole all their guests Have we? They're going to get loose on KFC. You're going on KFC later on this week? Yeah, I'm going on Wednesday. I can't believe they stole our guest. I know, after we stole all their guests. Have we? I think a couple of them.

We've only had like four people on the show. And they were all on KFC first. No, were they? Yeah, KFC gets the comedians. Yeah, they do. You got me first, though. We did. We actually got you twice first.

I know. You're our first proprietary guest. Yeah. You're the one that's our guest. Everyone else. Who else? Collin was on their show first. Shane probably was on their show first.

Was Matt ever on their show? I don't think Matt was. Or Matt was on with Shane, yeah. We have nothing of our own. He does. They do get all the comedians. Well, let's turn that around. We just had Danny DeVito. You know him?

Have you ever heard of him? Is he in... No, I'm kidding. we just had Danny DeVito you know him? have you ever heard of him? is he in no I'm kidding what do I know him from? Danny DeVito came here? yeah to the barstool office? yeah I wasn't here

were you here for that? yeah I was I saw him in the hallway but I didn't interact with him why? I'm scared of him I would definitely not interact yeah

what do you mean why? like you would have just gone up to him been like yo do you know Rob McElhenney? I'm in the same room as a celebrity. I try to play it as like almost too cool to the point where I don't respect them. Oh, I play it to the point where I just don't talk at all.

Yeah. I just pretend not to see them. Yeah. I think I come off as rude. I've done that before too, but it kind of takes them down a peg. Yeah, they deserve it. I did that to Matt Damon. I just like talked over his presence.

Everyone grew hush when Matt Damon walked by and I was more obnoxious. He was just walking through the hallway of a place I was at one time. Everyone got real silent

like Jesus was walking by. He was so short, dude. I already has a big ass head too. He's got a big he was like actors are weird. They're bobblehead

motherfuckers. Yes, dude. 40% body 60% head all jammed into 5'3". Dude, Matt Damon was crazy. Yeah, I've heard about his big head. They're bobblehead motherfuckers. Yes, dude. 40% body, 60% head, all jammed into 5'3". Dude, Matt Damon was crazy. Yeah, I've heard about his big head. They look like small soldiers. Yeah, they do. They're always

so much shorter than you'd think. Isn't Zac Efron like 5'4"? I don't know, but his face looks crazy lately. I don't want to shame anyone for all that shit. For fucking up their face? I don't want to shame anyone for going from hot to ugly. Dude, he looks like he showed someone a drawing of the face he wants. In the Pika Chad picture.

Why would you ever get those surgeries? Didn't we talk about this recently? Where it's like you've seen how horrible they go. And people are still like, this one's going to be good. I'll be the one person to get it. You spend your time in Hollywood and people are like, oh, you could do this movie, but your face is soft. Your face is soft.

Your face is soft. Okay. Well, I'll show you. Wait, what do you mean your face is soft? It's saggy. People say that? No, I'm just picturing like how someone like him would do that. Me?

No. I have soft face. No. Zach Efron. Zach Efron. Your soft ass face. So if you came through with the rhinoplasty whatever the fuck it's called if you came Josh

literally in a BBL your life would change that's how you get that's how you get like gigs in Hollywood they're like do you have a soft or a hard face

what? you guys got soft face I've never heard that from the industry I know I definitely have I truly think if a man has a soft face what is soft face?

does that mean like a soft chin? I've never heard anyone say this like you're just like softer like that mean like a soft no idea i've never heard anyone say this like you're just like softer like they want to be a raw card you want you want like a chisel tom cruise probably got the surgery and it went well like there has to be a couple guys that got the surgery he didn't know and now he has to go out there and his eyes are tiny i know and it's just too wide and it's just i, though, for just going for it

and for having body issues as a hot person. Fuck that, dude. His body. Are you talking about that old article that got tweeted and they were like, Zac Efron makes shocking return with a dad bod and he still has chiseled abs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or even the fact he thought his face was ugly. That's a body issue. That he didn't think he was fact he thought his face was ugly like that's a body issue that he didn't think he was like god's gift and he was just like i'm ugly as fuck dude i need to fix this that's what he said i'm ugly as fuck he really did his face entirely usually people are like i'm bored i'll get a nose job yeah i mean a whole face our nose job is one of the more reliable ones though i think they are yeah yeah so it's been around forever. The BBLs are like 70% fatality rate. Those are dangerous. We'll just die from them.

Especially if you get a bad one and you can't sit on your fucking ass. Yeah, we were just watching. We were watching the compilation of like the- On the airplanes? On the airplanes, yeah. Yeah. And they're all like leaning. They're all just like sitting.

Do you ever ask Justina Valentine about hers? We have talked about it. I don't want to share her story, but we have talked about it. She doesn't have one, if that's what you're asking. She doesn't have a BBL. Neither do I. You're a piece of shit. A real piece of shit.

Some people on the show do. Tyler's fucking caked up. Tyler's double-cheeked up. You're caked up on a fucking Monday, bro. Sitting high as hell. You've got a booster seat. Sitting on two phone books. That would be fucking funny.

Like a little kid sitting on a car. A baby owl looks fun to have. Did you ever see one and you're like, damn, that looks like fun. No, I don't think I've ever seen one in real life.

I probably have. I probably just didn't recognize it. I'm not usually scoping asses. I'm not an ass scoper. Really? I'm a respectable person. Right, yeah, me too.

Harry did a thing where he intentionally tried to get uglier so his comedy would be funnier. Yeah. He's been trying his ass off to be uglier. It doesn't work because he's so confident. It's hot. No, I'm not at all.

I get it. Yeah. I used to be, I was heavier when I started stand-up. Really? Yeah. I was like six pounds heavier. Open up about that. Shut up, dude.

So annoying. Let's get into that. How did that make you feel? I've been on this podcast one and a half that. Shut up, dude. So annoying. It's getting there. How did that make you feel? I've been on this podcast one and a half times. I still don't know what it is. I know. I'm going to be fully honest with you. I like it.

And then every time I say something, it gets shifted the other way. Oh, I thought that was a mullet. Okay. Anyway. There are dudes that have mullets in here, but I think we fired one of our guys. A guy got hired just for having a funny hairstyle, and I don't think he made it through his internship. Oh, really? Is he still around? No, he's gone, right?

I have a funny story about a TV show. He's dead? I said he might as well be. Oh, yeah. You don't work at Barstool? Not at Barstool. I can't even imagine not being here. So sick. A world without Barstool? Oh my god, wait, wait I'm gonna be sick

sorry stop talking about it stop talking about it you have a story about a guy in a TV show who had a mullet a TV show

so on a TV show I was once on that I might still be on but I don't want to name because I don't want to talk shit about the show but I heard an old urban

you have multiple shows that you're on I'm indicating that it's about the show that I'm on but I don't want to say it's about the show it could be anything it could be don't want to say that it's about the show. It could be anything.

It could be any of the shows she's on. He really did not go to college. Definitely not Penn State. So there was a guy who got on the cast of a show that I've been on because he had crazy hair. So is this a different show than that? No, stop. Harry's nagging me.

Okay, so he got hired for a crazy hairstyle am I bombing are we no no no no okay okay I thought you were looking at the producer

like what the fuck no no sharing laughter he got right so he got hired for a crazy hairstyle and on the first day

he went to hair and makeup cut it all off and they fired him yeah I mean I thought that's surprising no way not at all off and they fired him. Yeah, I thought that was surprising. No way, not at all. Hollywood baby. They fired Kosher Dills? Shut up!

I know it wasn't Kosher. It was Conceited. Conceited, first of all, would never get hired. Or fired. People love Conceited. Will never get fired. I was on Conceited's Instagram the other day and he was running up on stage at a college, and it was like the fucking Beatles were running up on stage.

People were screaming for Conceited. Love him. People go crazy for Conceited. He's this big. I know. He's Matt Damon-sized. No, actually, he is like a little bobblehead. Yeah, he is too.

Oh, you would be slamming me. Obviously, it's my choice to not have sex with Conceited. He fucks a lot of people too, I think. He did. Air it all out. Air it out. No way. We want all of the tea.

Stop, I can't. You know he used to work at Red Lobster? Conceited did? Yeah. Oh, really? When he started battle rapping, he got exposed as he was a red lobster waiter. What is there to expose him about, though? He needed some making money.

He needed a job. Yeah, but it's like if you- He's up on my boy, conceited. Having guns and shit like that. It's a different kind of shells over at Red Lobster. Is that what they were saying? Is that what they were saying? I don't know, but that's what I would have said.

Oh, that's a bar. Where was that? In Florida? That's where he's from, right? Yeah, I think he's from Florida or something. Do they have red lobsters in Florida? Yeah, absolutely. Why wouldn't they?

You're way closer. It seems like they have more red lobsters than they would have Starbucks there. Really? I feel like they just have good seafood restaurants. Dude, have you been to Florida? He probably hasn't. It's a fucking mall. Yeah, well, it depends on where you are in Florida.

Have you been to Florida? I've been to Florida a lot. I'm talking about Saz. Yeah, I've been to Florida. Have you? been to florida i've been to florida a lot yeah i've been to florida have you yeah i've been to disney uh yeah last time i was in florida was a while ago actually no it's not true i was just in florida uh for easter i was visiting my cousins and you did you go to any chain restaurants because i feel like it's exclusively uh like along a highway and there's every chain restaurant you could ever think of. With the occasional beach town fucking shit going on. Yeah, we went to a beach town dinner. I was only there for one night.

Yeah. I was there for two nights, but the first night I took too much Ativan, and I was a zombie for the entire day. Damn, you couldn't enjoy your- I couldn't enjoy my first night in Florida. Sad, bro. I was actively overdosing on drugs. Was everyone in Florida? Yeah, that's true.

Totally. They were like, come on in. Definitely have some good drugs. But it's a good anxiety, man. Does anyone on Wild N' Out have badass anxiety while we're exposing people's secrets? Dude, I feel like I'm the only one. Yeah? Bug the fuck out.

So with a live crowd, is like like you do is it all like is all their reactions natural yeah it is yeah they are they they have like i know yeah yeah oh go ahead no because i was gonna say like i know like snl they're like in like some talk shows there's like applaud signs and like oh not at all we don't have those at all i'll give you some tea so they bring the audience in and then they have have a DJ, hey, hey, turn it up, turn it up, blah, blah, blah. And then they have a warm-up comic, hey, hey, where do white people at? And they play Vanessa Carlton. And then they make people twerk.

It's like a dance party when the audience starts. And then there's a stage manager, Linda. She goes out, and she goes, she's always like, okay, when Nick comes out, you clap, clap, clap, clap, and stop. And then she'll introduce games by being like, okay, when Nick comes out, you clap, clap, clap, clap, and stop. And then she'll introduce games by being like, applause, but the laughter is never anything, and there's no applause signs. Occasionally there's a voiceover that's like... Clap it up.

Clap it up. That's definitely what it is. Yeah. One clap this... It's the cha-cha sign. One clap this time. Two let's stop was it like a party for the people in the audience like pretty much supposed to be no it's supposed to be wild but post-covid post-covid no but they get they get twerk and like everyone has fun

and it's really fun you should try out dude it's like a show're a crush. You should come on the show. Go on. God, no. God, no. I would suck. No, you'd be great. I would shit my pants on that. No way. That'd be funny, too, though. That would be a moment. People would be like,

oh, get this guy out of here. Didn't Mikey Day go on? Yeah, he used to be on. Mikey Day used to be on, and now he's on SNL, dude. Yeah, so look. It could be your tickets. Mikey Day.

Oh, yeah, Mikey Day is still on SNL. I thought he left. Did he leave? No, I think Mikey Day is still there. A bunch of people left. Yeah, he's still around. For us. I know, right?

Wait, did Lorne Michaels really say it's going to be a down year for SNL? What does that mean? Maybe I got click baited. Did he say that? I thought this. I didn't watch it, but, well, I did watch it. I watched some of the skits. He said it was going to be bad.

Was it bad? No, is that what he meant by saying that? I don't know. Oh, I thought it was received pretty well. I think people liked it. I watched some of the skits. Was it bad? No, is that what he meant by saying that? I don't know. Oh, I thought it was received pretty well. I think people liked it. Miles Teller episode, you mean? I thought it was fine. I don't know. He's got a deep-ass voice. He's hot. I did not know his voice was that deep.

Miles Teller? And I've seen him in hundreds of movies. He just makes his voice way higher. His voice in this was so much deeper. Maybe it's because he's joke yeah like musical theater yeah people and he had a fucking good ass deep voice oh like 10 times deeper than that it was like it was like i thought the skit you know how like they do like the dumb ass like intro thing where it's like it'll be like miles teller and then like the musical guest and then like bowen yang yeah oh yeah yeah that one yeah i thought it was like i thought the joke was that miles teller was lip-syncing with like someone else's voice i thought like it was kendrick lamar talking like sarah cooper doing trump yeah yeah

wow it wasn't it was just his voice was just like he's a stud he probably has a fat fucking cock probably but why did he get so much more handsome in the last year? Have you not watched Top Gun? He's getting more and more handsome. I saw it in Whiplash. I was into him. Yeah, in Whiplash

he was like a skinny little boy. His face was soft. He had a soft face and now he's got rock face. He's got a hard ass face. Now everyone's looking. He's got a bricked up face. And Zac Efron

had to watch from home. Yeah, he probably wanted that role. He's in a lawsuit with his doctor now. Who was the, what movie was Miles Teller in when he was like a teenager? It was like a college party movie or something like that. It was like, he's going to be funny as fuck.

He was in that like depressing ass movie, like the Netflix one. I don't know about that. He was in a few. 21 and Over, was that it? It was like him and Michael B. Jordan or some shit like that. Oh, I never saw that. It was't know about that. 21 and over? Was that it? It was like him and Michael B. Jordan or some shit like that. It was like all studs. And Ephron might have been the third one in the movie.

Which is a star-studded cast. Miles Tyler could be the future. Oh, he is. He's already there. People were like humming in their pants over him in Top Gun. Oh my god. That gross ass mustache. He was so hot in that. Why do you say it was gross?

Why are you hating on... I don't really like mustaches. Yeah? It doesn't suit him. Really? He's not a mustache guy. Really? And we all know

they would not allow that in Top Gun school. Like, let's be real. You had to be clean shaven. That's why his flying was so bad because he couldn't see straight. I didn't see the movie. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. I haven't seen it yet. You saw it, right? Of course. The volleyball scene? Oh, it wasn't a volleyball scene. I thought it was a football scene. Oh, whatever.

It was very. I was noticing other balls. That shit was hot. You're getting your movies mixed up. The volleyball scene is in the first movie. The first one? Okay. I actually never saw the first one.

I only saw Maverick. The first one is so good. I know. I heard. You're about to say it was so much better than a movie you didn't see? No, I haven't seen it. Yeah, you should watch the second one because I didn't think it would be sweet because I'm not that into war movies or airplane movies or even ocean movies.

You like movies? Not air and ocean movies. No, I fucking hate ocean movies. I think the only ocean movies are good No I hate like a submarine movie Where they're on the submarine the whole time That shit stresses me out Super stressful

You seen Captain Phillips? Is it on the boat the whole time? I am the captain now That's a good ass impression Hold on Lauren it's Maddie we found the next one for SNL

that's a side gig they've been looking for a Captain Phillips sketch they've been looking for a white guy to play the small pirate

look at me I'm the captain now I am the captain now what's your guys' best impression? What's the best impression you can do? I can't do any. Roan can do a couple. Dude, I was doing a good-ass Abraham Lincoln impression this past weekend,

but I think it's just because... Roan can do a good Trump. Hey, niche. Okay. Yeah, no, it's just because no one's ever heard Abraham Lincoln talk, I think is why it sounded good. You know what I mean? There's no recordings of his voice?

I don't think so. I think that he was dead before they were recording voices. Wait, that's crazy to think about. No one even knows his voice.

Or that he was in full color. The fact that he wasn't in black and white, that fucks with me. That's also, you know, they have technology to color people?

Color people. Really? Hey, watch your language. They have the technology to colorize photos. But the fact that he was in full color, even when they colorize pictures they're a little bit dull. You know what I mean? The fact that he was real vibrant.

Was he in full color? Was he in living color? No, dude. I think he was. Well, they just started taking pics. Yeah. I think you're wrong. The world was just gray as fuck. That's how I used to think it was. I think you're wrong. The world was just gray as fuck. That's how I used to think it was. I thought heaven was blue.

Okay. And now you just know it doesn't exist? Yeah, now I come full circle. I'm fully aware that I just don't have to worry about it. It doesn't exist, dude. It's not there. It's the same thing as before you were born. Which is nothing.

Not back into your mom's uterus. Yeah. That sounds warm. I know, right? I had a boy who did ayahuasca, and he said that he had memories of his mom's uterus. And I got another friend who was there and just walked away from the conversation.

I would have walked away so fast. Dude, no, you did it. It was Obes, though, dude. Obes said that he took ayahuasca. That's not surprising at all. He told you that? That's not surprising at all. Yeah. He said the super detail about it. I'm He told you that? I don't care.

He said he went back into his mom's uterus. If that happened, don't tell people. Yeah, no. If I was like, dude, I suck my dad's dick. I have a different memory. I remember coming out of my dad's dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be hilarious.

Bro, I remember when I was just a little sperm. Crazy. I remember I was with thousands of sperms that looked exactly like me. I don't think you're remembering. You're tripping. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're not remembering. You're not remembering shit.

You think you are. Yeah, you're not accessing it. I don't do psychedelics, so. Yeah, you will eventually. I have no. I think that would destroy me as a person. Do you think it'd be sweet to just be a sperm with all a bunch of other sperms? Probably.

It's like a ton of yous. Stressful. A bunch of other yous. Kind of would be sick. A bunch of other, I mean, sperms are technically they, thems, right? Right. They're they, thems. So, I am an ally.

I did beat those motherfuckers it is crazy that girls wear sperms dude I know right but they have

or I guess they do have jams you guys were supposed to have titties and you didn't yeah we were eggs I actually had a dream last night that

I took my shirt off and people were making fun of my man boobs really and they were calling that they were like they kept on saying

nice Sydney Sweeney's bro it was a real dream I'm gonna start calling my tits this time it's a real dream my tits is a real dream that i had a dream that was a memory i know that was in your mom's uterus i was like fuck i got it ayahuasca yeah i woke up and i was like i gotta start going to the gym you have kind of little little titties oh big titties really oh yeah huge fine dude who doesn't dude everybody does it's probably your diet. It probably is, yeah. It's probably hormones that you can't control. It's probably just something.

That's definitely my diet. You think so? Yes. You eat a bagel and it goes straight to your tits? No, I just eat my tits. Not today. My bra doesn't fit. Always on Sundays.

Game Time is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows. And they guarantee the lowest price. Roan, what concerts slash games did you go to with GameTime? If the Phillies make the playoffs, I want to go to a Phillies game. I want to go down to an Eagles game in Philly to see if I can go to one of them. But I also want to go to BravoCon next weekend. I want to see if Game can go to one of them. But I also want to go to BravoCon next weekend. If I can get, I want to see if GameTime has tickets on BravoCon. They probably do because they have tickets for everything. They probably do. So BravoCon, check that out

with the GameTime app. Download the GameTime app, go to the account tab and create a login and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download GameTime. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Dude, my diet game time. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. Dude, my diet sucks ass.

I'm trying to get healthier this week. I started today. Yeah, I mean, that's easy to say. Oh, nice. What kind? Oh, it had tofu in it. That's how hard I'm going. Oh, don't torture yourself.

Listen. Tofu's so gross. It's the week of the detox. I'm turning 31 on saturday so oh hell yeah i gotta fucking slim up so i feel oh you're cooked i can be birthday what no i was kidding i said you're cooked you mean i'm old 31 yeah no i know wait how old are you you called me old earlier that's the only reason i'm saying it you're 27 i'm 34 oh shit okay that's why i said old before because i'm in my ayahuasca trip i knew you's why I said old before. In my ayahuasca trip, I knew you were 34.

Yeah, your last appearance was just an ayahuasca trip. Are you nervous? Are you going to have a mental collapse? No, no, no, no. Not one of those people? I don't think so. Nah. Having a midlife crisis in the classroom.

Hey! And I'm supporting ISIS in the classroom. Yes, Tess? I don't watch the show. Just anything that rhymes. Like, the nicest in the classroom. Yes, Tess? Tess? I don't watch the show, so. Just anything that rhymes, like the nicest in the classroom. No, I actually was watching it two days ago. I was watching Josh Richards on.

Josh Richards went on Wilding Out? Yeah, he was on it. Josh Richards on Stupid. TikTok kid. Wait, oh, the white guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, he. Everyone was like,

damn, white boy's kind of groovy with it. No, they didn't. All the comments was that. Dude, he always like... He wasn't. I was like, no, he sucks. He like mouths Meek Mill songs on his TikToks. Yeah, that's probably how he got on.

That is like the coolest thing you can do as a white person. Josh Richards. You don't know him? He had a TikToker this season, but I don't... It was him. No. It was definitely him. Oh, his episode didn't come out yet. This was out't know. It was him. No. It was definitely him. His episode didn't come out yet.

This was out on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a... No, not that guy. Different guy? A different TikToker? Yes. He was there.

No! Wait, no, not him. Not him. Never mind. I'm getting people confused. There was a different Bryce. Taylor Holder, maybe? Yeah, he wants to fight.

This guy wants to fight Bryce Hall. Oh, that's the one who was dating other girls, right? Is that the one who the girl came on and she was like, Bryce and blah, blah, blah are back together? Or is that someone else? Probably. Come on, call her daddy. And there was a girl who was like, Maddie and Bryce. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that wasn't about Bryce. Okay, I always wanted to be that girl who comes on and is like. That audio was like popping off. I know. It was like, I don't know. I just remember my cousin kept on posting videos with that. Your own left. Wait, you watch Call Her Daddy?

I just remember the clip. I mean, yes. I would love to do it. But I just remember the clip that went viral. Yeah, it was that. It was Josh and Nessa. Okay, so it wasn't Bryce. Yeah, I only remember that because that was like a big deal in these parts.

Yeah. It was like the fucking. We got a company-wide email about it yeah nessar back together no more promoting ness's content okay so why does Bryce want to fight you oh it was like some dumb shit like we want there's another podcast at barstool called bussing with the boys and it's with this guy will compton but they he'd he like they they just we just have his podcast like at the company he doesn't actually work like in the office okay he works down in nashville and i like said so will compton he played in the nfl for how long 10 years 10 years he's on year 10 right now yeah and uh he's still in the nfl

like he's like he's trying he's not he was in the nfl for a while and uh i we were talking about this boxing this minor like league boxing competition that bar is called rough and rowdy and i some something came up when i was like oh you will you could definitely beat bryce hall in rough and rowdy and then like bryce hall took that as me being like Bryce Hall's a pussy shut up and then he like went on like a 10 tweet rant to me oh shit like I'm gonna beat your ass and I'm like dude I never said I could beat you up right I couldn't you're like you can be my ass yeah yeah one punch I don't think I ever acknowledged it on Twitter yeah we were in Minnesota at the time filming a video and uh I mean you were trying to play it cool, but you were freaking out.

Being like, what should I have? And you were writing responses, deleting responses. I had one tweet that was my favorite tweet you've ever sent. It was, like, amidst the whole 10-tweet thread. You just said that Bryce Hall showed up at my front door with a gun. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to come up with, like, because I'm not going to, like, taking it seriously would have been, like, lame as fuck if I was like,

then come here and fucking get some, bro. Come here and let's handle this. Like, I'm not going to go from like guy who tries to be funny to be like fighting people. No, fighting a fucking TikTok. Yeah, yeah. Like, what are we doing? He did come on this show and we were like, we were nice to him. But he was like, I came on your show and then you left.

So this came out like after he was on on our show that's funny yeah and also the interview sucked ass i mean he's just uh we're not gonna ask him about tiktok stuff and he were like he's not gonna be able to talk about you said that than if you said it sucked i remember tim dylan called me he's like i just listened to that interview it sucked really yeah he's. Really? Yeah. He was like, it was so boring. I was like, yeah, it was. I mean, he was on for like 10 minutes. Yeah. Really?

He was just like telling stories about like drinking and smoking. I mean, what did he, what, yeah, what were we going to get out of him? I don't know. I think he was just in the office. I'm like, oh, let's pull him in for the thumbnail. Some people just can't podcast. No, no. Some people just can't do it.

Hardest thing to do in the world. Hardest job in the world. In a million mile an hour fastball. Absolutely. Not a lot of people can do it. Not a lot of people can do it. Everyone, oh, Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan, hardest job in the world. Hardest job in the world. In a million mile an hour fastball. Absolutely. Not a lot of people can do it. Everyone, Joe Rogan,

Joe Rogan, hardest job in the world. He's literally a genius. Absolutely. You ever gonna go on Rogan? I wouldn't say no. So yeah. You were talking shit on him and you kind of have to

walk it back now that you. I was joking about podcasting. No, you were talking shit. I'm getting defensive. I'm like, was he talking shit on him? You don't want this smoke. You don't want this smoke. I swear to God, dude. You've been talking shit i'm getting defensive i'm like you don't want this smoke you don't want this smoke you've been talking shit on rogan

always like dude don't i'll like don't fuck with him seriously i'm like you know he's sensitive right he has feelings too i think i would go on i think i gotta i don't know i think you have a chance i think you have a real good chance um yeah you just have to like watch the the hard thing about rogan is like you have to talk talk talk talk talk talk because yeah i feel like he's the kind of guy who will just be like uh-huh no no i don't think he is though i think he's like i think that why those interviews are always so long is because he's such a good like conversationalist that like you anyone could go on and have like a four hour episode right I could talk for six, 10, 12 days. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. You run your mouth.

Yes, I do. So your wife told you. No, it's a good thing. Uh, what is, uh, what's the diet looking like though? What's the new diet going to consist of? Oh, just health, health, health, health, health, obsessed with health. I'm obsessed. So I'm trying to drink water. That's my number one right now because I've been living off diaglut for a year. You're making a dent in that body armor. And this is the most. Got my alkaline water only.

Body water, body armor, sport water. Thank you, bar stool. I don't know. I'm just trying to eat more vegetables, I think. I feel like I've been a little bit, a lot of salt. I ate a lot of lemon pepper wings in Atlanta. You go on the road, comedy club, you just eat their food all weekend because it's free. Yeah.

And that shit fucking sucks. No offense, respectfully, to the comedy club. No, it's bad. I mean, sometimes they put food in front of you and you're like, this can't be. I was at a club a couple weeks ago and I ordered quesadillas for some reason. What the fuck, dude? Dude, first of all, that's where you went wrong. Yeah, you're unhinged.

They were fully loaded quesadillas with every single topping. Okay, yeah. I was like, I can't eat this. What city were you in? Rochester. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a great club. The worst quesadillas up in Rochester.

Everyone knows. Yeah, that's their calling card, having bad quesadillas. I know. Terrible. Everyone's like, you got to get the garbage plate, dude. No, you don't. I was like, I'm not going to get it. People were, like, it got to the point where I was like, I'm not eating it, dude.

Like, it looks like shit. So I went to college near there. Yeah. And we would eat garbage plates when we were hammered. Yeah, that's what everyone says. Like, it's good drunk food. Yeah, because it's... What is it?

Is it like just like gravy and fries and shit on a... It's just like anything you want. Ground beef. Like the base of it is like mac salad, home fries, fucking meat sauce, and like a meat of your choice. Like a burger, like a plain burger or a plain hot dog. Or like hot dogs. Covered...

Yeah, hot dogs. Gross. Covered in mustard, ketchup, and more like meat sauce and hot sauce. And you mix it all together. Yeah. And shove it into your face. Yeah. Like a fat whore.

Damn. You wake up and wonder why you're so fat. Yeah. But it's like, it was $8 for like 20 pounds of food. So you just shove it in, especially if you're blackout. In college, yeah. It's a spot. I would have like,

not when you're a grown adult. I don't know. Like, you don't need to experience that as. Yeah, it just seemed like one of the, like, I don't know,

I don't want my Rochester fellows to be mad at me. I think they'll be okay. They're already losers. Hey! Oh, no, they were great. They were great.

I'm only saying that because I'm from up there. You know what I mean? I like to bust balls with my guys. Yeah, you're from Buffalo, right? Yeah, I'm trying to date a Buffalo Bills player. Hell yeah. So far, no one has been in my bait.

But you know what I find? He's playing in front of Buffalo Bills players on Thursday. He's a show in Buffalo, and there's Bills guys going. Are you kidding me? I wish I was a dude. Then all the dudes would come out i'll name drop you what the fuck what's up maddie smith wants to be like hey man that set sucked and i'll be like i know you should check out maddie smith she sucks she's good are there any specific uh buffalo

bills players that you're interested in i haven't even looked at the roster but just josh allen he's he's wiped up and you know what would happen if I took him from her? I would be like the devil of Buffalo. I would go down as like the whore. I genuinely think they would be like, whore. They almost lost. I know. Josh is distracted. Yeah, but.

Josh is distracted. Ever since I started telling people I'm trying to date, Josh has been, you know, fucking around. He's definitely on the radar. He is hot, though. He's hot. He's like the Miles Teller of football right now. Is he really?

Is that true? Oh, for sure. He's like a stud, big arm. Big arms. You know what I forget, though, about these NFL players, that everyone's younger than me. I forget that they're like 22, 23.

Yeah, you think of a pro athlete, and no matter how old they are, they're older than you because they're a pro. That's already that old-ass dude. Yeah? He's old they are, they're older than you. Because they're a pro. That old ass dude. Yeah? He's old as fuck, and he looks like someone... That's weird.

Okay, it's at the point where it's like a dad playing with the kids. How old is Aaron Rodgers? He's like 39, 40? They're getting old. Aaron Rodgers looks older than Tom Brady. Yeah, he's like midlife crisis old. Aaron Rodgers. Did you see his haircut?

He's got like Morbius hair. His hair is fucking nuts. His haircut is wild. It looks like he runs a food truck in 2010. Yeah, he's got Portland hair. He has Portland hair. It was like tucked behind either one of his ears, but it was like shaved in the back.

I saw that. It was outrageous. He's wildin'. I think he's like closeted. You think? I think he just doesn't GAF, dude. Because wasn't he was... No, he's closeted. You think? I think he just doesn't GAF, dude. Because wasn't he was... No, he's GAY, bro.

That's my conspiracy theory for the day. And you can bleep it out or whatever. And Rogers is gay? Yeah. No, let's run with that. Let's clip that. Oh my God, what if I'm like Hannibal outing Bill Cosby? That'd be crazy.

Yeah. Or like... Comparing Aaron Rogers being gay to Bill Cosby. Equally scandalous in my book. What a piece of shit he is, dude. Equally scandalous. Fucking scumbag. This gay scumbag Aaron Rodgers.

It's like the exact equivalent. I told you guys I'm Republican. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. On this show. On this show. When you come in here. Republican. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. On this show.

On this show. When you come in here. But the dude Billy Eichner accused the guy the Bachelor Colton Underwood of being gay when he was the Bachelor. And like two years later he came out and was like I actually am gay. He was like Billy Eichner said it as a joke. But then he wound up being gay as fuck.

I know. Doesn't he have a Netflix show? Dick in the mouth. No dick in the ass. All the way. Didn't he just have a movie come out? All the way. Didn't he just have a movie come out? I thought he had a Netflix show or something. Billy Eichner? Oh, Billy had a movie come out. I heard it bombed.

Yeah, yeah. I'm shit talking too much for someone who has nothing going on. I think they sold like, or did like less than 50% of the sales that they thought it was going to do. Is it a bad movie or just people didn't come out? I think people just didn't go, but everyone was like, it's a gay guy. Straight people didn't come out? I think, yeah. I think it just people just didn't go, but everyone was like it's a gay guy. Straight people for not

going to see the game. Well, he is. He went on like a full rant. Oh, really? He's like, people just won't come because I'm gay. Because they're homophobic. That's why you don't come out. Yeah, that's why you stay in. People would still be going to the movies. That's probably why Aaron Rogers is still in the closet so people come to

Packers games. Oh, dude. Coming out as a Green Bay Packer? No fucking way. It would be empty. Yeah, they have so many billboards about Christianity, fucking abortion, Bible studies. He has to move out of the country and retire before he can come out. Dude, but there is a gay

football player, an openly gay dude right now named Carl Nassib, and he was on the Raiders last year. And now he's on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And he's playing. He's just tackling dudes. Like giggling to the ground. Having the best time of his life, dude.

He hit the jackpot. But he probably makes people run faster. Because they're like, I don't want to get tackled by the Navy. There's homophobic dudes in the NFL. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Aaron Hernandez was gay Oh yeah yeah I don't know that documentary was so wild They like plucked someone from high school

That was And also the only person that could have been like That's not true is dead Like why even have him in the documentary If I die and they fuck Super gay the dude went to my town's high school that fucked Andrew Hernandez in jail oh really

so you know the guy of him not personally but maybe it's a gay dude trying to get clout by just being like yeah I fucked that dead guy that dead famous guy they did fuck in jail so he was gay eventually you know they fucked in jail

I wasn't there it's not like nor it's not normal for a dude to be like i fucked him that's like a that's pretty it's a big coming out you know what i mean yeah just do that for clout well no that guy was definitely gay that guy was gay yeah the one from high school the white guy from high school it's a flex yeah oh yeah he was like i don't know he was describing their uh relations pretty in detail he's also dead but also the shit about the shootings was crazier than the gay shit in my opinion it's also a good reason i think that's a pretty reasonable uh thing to say it

was me the gay shit was crazier him murdering those three people was a little more crazy to me than him being gay. Listen, I stand my ground. Yeah, Aaron Hernandez. I don't know. The NFL is wiling. Yeah, it is crazy. But Sass is an NFL fan. He's sneakily getting indoctrinated. This is your biggest NFL year yet to date.

100%. You're watching every game, talking about it, saying players' names and shit. Oh, yeah. I'm making a big transition in my life, getting into more manly things like shooting guns and football. Football? I'm going the other way. I went to yoga this morning.

And you went to a magic show. I went to a magic show. I went to the magic show. What's wrong with you? Dude, it was kind of sick though I don't know how the fuck he was doing this shit that's why I don't like magic because I don't like not knowing so it pisses me off more than

it doesn't excite me it pisses me off so I can't go to magic show dude it was infuriating he had everybody write down their favorite drink made everyone swap the paper pass in the papers and then he like picked five of them told the people whose drink it was and then he like picked five of them, told the people whose drink it was, and then had the same tea kettle and poured out every one of the drinks.

It's just like, ah, that could so easily be staged. How? It was like espresso martinis. What did you do to the five people in the crowd? No, there was like 40 people. I like talked to the people afterwards. You think that they were, he used everybody in the audience. He showed you guys what they wrote down?

Yeah. And everybody drank their drink. And he would be like, you want pink lemonade like strawberry lemonade what kind of lemonade do you want and he would do it right there like live how do you do that i don't know and i was fucking furious dude that's why i don't like it at all when che we we're the guy that produces the yak and he did a magic trick in here and i was pissed because it was good i was like how the fuck did he just do that what kind of witchcraft is this it was bullshit witchery bullshit yeah i don't like the spirits in the room no no mostly me yeah being wrong and not knowing i know it could have only been a spirit magic away from me keep that away but there were like

hard-ass dudes in the audience too who were trying to like stump the guy oh yeah hundred it's like all right well what what model of car do i drive like what make is it like what flavor was it that i had this morning and the guy's like all right dude he just moved along like he he obviously got his information from his little assistant or however he was doing it through whatever camera pulley system or whatever he had but people are just dickheads trying to like be like all right fucking prove it that you're actually magical. Uh, yeah. That's so lame.

Okay, Dumbledore. Okay, it's your wand. It was such a cliche. Like, what are you, what are the, like, dude, obviously he's not actually, like, a fucking wizard. I know. I know. What were they expecting him to do?

They're like, yeah, guys, by the way, I'm not actually doing magic. They're tricks. And the one time he're like, yeah, guys, by the way, I'm not actually doing magic. They're tricks. And the one time he, like, got it, the guy was like, all right, like, he was, like, something about, like, he ate ice cream. And he was like, yeah, but what flavor of ice cream was it? And it was super specific. And the guy got the flavor right.

Like, it took him, like, a little bit longer. But he did get it right. He, like, stumped the guy that was trying to stump him. But, like, you just have to be an absolute dickhead to go to the show and do anything other than to be like yeah like you have to applaud the guy you can't be like this is fucking bullshit right i don't know i don't know i do think you'd call him out oh no no no first of all i wouldn't be at the show i'm not a loser second of all he's the millionaire's magician it was very high class Oh it looked very fancy Where did you go?

In New York somewhere? Yeah it was in New York It was um At like Somewhere in Midtown It was like 45th And it's fucking 6 or something

Some hotel Some like ancient hotel Some hotel that opened In like the 1880s Oh you do like activities It was activity yeah It was activity activity Activity guy

Yeah I'm not It wasn't like having free time. Right. I seriously get crazy anxiety having free time. This past weekend I was supposed to be in Maryland at some festival and it got canceled. And I was like, dude, I need to fucking buckle down and do shit with my life. Dude, I'm not even doing anything this weekend. I need to go to a fucking magic show this week, dude.

Fuck. You need to go. I know. And it has to be in an ancient hotel. Yeah. I need to go. I know. And it has to be in an ancient hotel. Yeah. I feel like I did anything. I feel like I've just

been doing nothing with my life. I haven't seen a magic show this year. Forever. And then I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? I want to get tricked.

I had this rush of accomplishment once I got tricked. Like, oh, finally. I can sleep so good. Can't wait for work tomorrow. I slept incredibly well once I got some fucking sleep. Right. Went to wait for work tomorrow. I slept incredibly well once I got some fucking sleep.

Went to karaoke this weekend. What? You didn't invite me? It was in Philly. You asshole. I did invite you to Philly. What are you talking about? And you're like, I gotta go. Oh yeah, you did. I got a bringer show. You went to Philly and you did karaoke? And what songs did you do? I fucking love karaoke. I love it. I could do it for hours.

I do karaoke every time we go away. Really? I have a little tradition of ours. Like on the road? You too? Yeah. Really? Find a karaoke spot.

Not for stand-up. Yeah, for work. That's awesome. Yeah, it is good fun. Find a karaoke bar because you just find weird people and you actually get to see people's personalities at a random bar where you wouldn't have. Yeah, you get some free stage time, right? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You fucking ham have this absolute ham but uh the uh it was this place called yakitori boy in chinatown and uh there was like a like a black bachelorette party these women were fucking going absolutely ape shit and they did dreams and nightmares hold up wait a minute i thought i was finished and they were all fucking bouncing and i didn't even sign up for a song but my boy mike uh he signed up for a song and it was right after that and he signed up for like a michael buble song and it was like the most high vibrations vibes going into it like the whole bar in philly and like just just rapping every word of meek mills knowing all of it and And then it came up and it was his time and he was like, I can't do this. And he like ran to the bathroom

and the lady came over and was like, it's like Mike Stern. Who did it? Yeah, she like handed it to me and I had to sing Michael Bublé in front of this black bachelorette party. Oh my God, he bombed in a black room. Yeah, it was tough.

It hurts, doesn't it? Actually, I was crushing it. Oh, really? I know. The hostess came over and started filming me. he bombed in a black room yeah it was tough doesn't it uh actually i was crushing it oh really the hostess came over and like started filming me she was like uh because i was hamming it up i was being absolutely even if the song's bad you can say it was like birds flying high oh that's what song you did yeah oh okay okay good one it was it was just uh like the air was sucked out of the room, though. So it was basically a bomb,

but I made it goofy enough that it wasn't as embarrassing as it would have been if I really tried hard, if I really put my heart into it. Making a good song is really important. That's why I didn't even pick. I'm back there with a spreadsheet, like trajectory of like... You got to read the room, too.

You got to match the energy. You can't go... The worst is when it's like everyone's having fun and then like a try hard will go up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like trajectory of like- You got to read the room too. You got to match the energy. You can't go- The worst is when it's like everyone's having fun and then like a try hard will go up. You're like, bro, save this shit for like a Tuesday night. He does like a six minute fucking Pink Floyd song. About wake me up inside or some shit like that. Give me something good.

I need something that I know all the words to. I need something that's in my range. Your register. Yes. That's the most important part. Hitting the register. Absolutely. Knowing the pace of the song. Your register. That's the most important part. Hitting the register. Knowing the pace of the song when it's your turn to start. And also no duets.

There's a few that can hit but there's probably three. I'll do Shallow with someone. I'll do Shallow. Or I can show you that one hits the fucking Aladdin. I would do

Pictures, Sher Rock and Kid Crow. Oh no! That one would be. That one hits the fucking Aladdin. That's okay. Yeah. I would do pictures, Sherlock and Kid Crow. Oh, no. Sherlock and Kid Rock. I talk too fast. That's okay. I don't think he knows who any of those are. I'm wilding out socks on right now.

Yeah, it's all the socks I have. And I always got to rep the crew. You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to. You got to. It's my only. The reason I say no duets, though, is because sometimes

you'll get like the two friends who are like drunk and they're like they're just like they're up there just like giggling giggling dude

if you giggle up there don't be giggling take this shit seriously a lot of us are here we're spending our money to be here absolutely don't fuck around

if we're waiting to go up we want to have a good time yeah because all we want to do is go up yeah it's just like why have they not called my name yet I'm seriously like fuck and then you start go up, we want to have a good time. Yeah. Because all we want to do is go up. Yeah. Why have they not called my name yet?

I'm seriously like, fuck. And then you start regretting your song. Oh, yeah. Shit. I've done so many last minute changes.

Go up to the DJ and you're like, scratch that. Me too. Wait, did you ever do the comedy jam at... No, I wanted to so bad.

And I was like, standing there watching it on the projector just being like, oh, fuck, I want to do this what's that comedy jam Josh Adam Myers

does this show called the Goddamn Comedy Jam and it's oh shit it's like and it's like it's like karaoke but it's like

Goddamn comedy that's sick it's karaoke but there's like a real band like Bill Burr does the drums for it sometimes sometimes yeah is he nice on the sticks

he can drum a little bit yeah really Burr bro dude it's Burr or do people just have to like be nice for it sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. Is he nice on the schticks? He can drum a little bit? Really? Burr, bro? Dude, it's burr. Or do people just have to be nice? They just have to be like, that was sick, Bill.

It's probably good. It's not like people are playing crazy songs. Yeah. But I did it at Moon Tower. It was fucking fun. I never sang with a live band. What? I know.

I wish I did that. That'll make you not want to be a comedian. It's way more fun. Like, where are we going next, guys? Yeah. That'll make you not want to be a comedian. It's way more fun. Like, where are we going next, guys? Yeah. That's literally what this festival was going to be. It's like singing with a live band.

And why did it get canceled? Hurricane Ian. Yeah, that's fucking... I was in Richmond, and it was really raining. And the club owner was like, ticket sales might be low because of the rain. But I'm not used to that. I'm from Buffalo. We go out in the fucking blizzard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go out in the blizzard to give a handjob. I'm not used to the weather. So you mean that's happened? Oh, it's still happening. I got to get back to Buffalo. It's snowing.

There's probably guys out there that need handjobs. They need that grip. Know what I'm saying? Have you ever been to Wingnuts? Wingnuts? Yeah. No.

I think it was like niche until recently. I think it was like. Two favorite things. There you go. Wings. It was like a famous ass. Of course. It was a famous ass wing place that like these guys in here, I guess, discovered.

It's just like a husband and wife who were just out of a VFW. They were just making their own wings, and they blew it up, and eventually they got their own storefront or whatever. Buffalo or here? Buffalo. Really? I'll have to go. Allegedly the best wings on the planet Earth. They look good.

They look damn good. I will say. What about that? I don't really fuck with the baby carrots that they throw in there. No, I hate baby carrots. Baby look good. They look damn good. I will say. What about that? Well, baby. I don't like that. I don't really fuck with the baby carrots that they throw in there. Ew, I hate baby carrots. Baby carrots gross me out for some reason. Why?

Ew, they're wet. Always wet. I was literally just going to say that. Ew. Ew. What are they always soaking wet? Wet. I'll take a long carrot with a peel still fucking on it over that shit.

They're always soaking wet. Soaking wet. And that water that's in the bottom of the baby carrot bath. Baby carrot water. I know you guys even encountering baby carrots. All the time. I have sex with a lot of guys. I don't even look at them.

Baby carrots? No. I hate them. I don't even give them the time of day. I don't give them the time of day. My ex used to buy them all the time. I hated it. among many other things. Like to dip in some hummus or some shit? Some shit like that. Worse than that.

I'd rather have a carrot stick. I'd rather have nothing. Carrots are a little bit trash. Carrots kind of suck. I'm more of a tomato guy. I love tomatoes. I like cherry tomatoes. A good cherry tomato.

I will pop a cherry tomato. Remember when you guys watched Lord of the Rings? I did not. I did not either. Never mind. I'm part out. A good cherry tomato. I will pop a cherry tomato. Remember you guys watched Lord of the Rings? I did not. I did not either. Never mind. I'm part out. Save that for KFC. No, no.

Oh, yeah. See you on Wednesday. Tell us about Lord of the Rings. Oh, there's just a part where a guy ate a cherry tomato and it fucking everywhere. You had to be there. Yeah, wait. What happened? You just ate a cherry tomato and it popped.

If you know, you know. Last night to be there. Yeah, wait, what happened? You just ate a cherry tomato in a pond? If you know, you know. Last night was a movie. I don't get cherry tomatoes in my sweet green salads for that reason, because I don't like to. Oh, I love cherry tomatoes. They're sliced in half at Sweet Green. I don't even care for that. I don't even want to have that part. I love cherry tomatoes.

Cherry tomatoes in an omelet, too? Oh, fuck me in that butt. In an omelet? Please, Denny. In an omelet? Yes. Denny. In an omelet? Yes. I like a mushroom in an omelet, too. Ew.

Gross. Shut up. No, mushrooms are the shit. I hate mushrooms. I love mushrooms. Mushrooms. I remember when I was younger, my mom would be cooking mushrooms, and I'd go downstairs, and I'd be like, I got to go back upstairs because I can't even stand the smell. Really?

Oh, mom. What the fuck? Gross mom. I was like, I guess I'll back upstairs. I can't even stand the smell. Really? Oh, mom. What the gross mom. I was like, I guess I'll just have a PB&J for dinner. She was just making mushrooms as your dinner? Or just like a garnish and you wouldn't even eat around them? It was a garnish. You couldn't just eat around the mushrooms? I don't even want anything to touch.

I don't want anything I'm eating ever to touch a mushroom. Were your guys' parents good cooks? No. Worst. My mom stopped doing anything after my parents got divorced. Anything. Good cook, good parent, nothing. Let's explore that. Yeah, let's talk.

Now I'm ready. Now I'm at the part where I'm like, okay, fine, I'll answer your question. S? It was traumatic. Yeah. I cried and cried. No, I don't fuck with mushrooms or zucchini. Those are my two no-nos. Zucchini, fucking. Or squash. I cried and cried. I, uh, no, I don't fuck with mushrooms or zucchini. Those are my two no-nos. Zucchini, fucking. Or squash.

I love zucchini. No, it's like, no. No, you don't. You don't love zucchini because it doesn't taste like anything. It's water. It's nothing. Zucchini sucks ass. It's a vessel for flavor.

So it's like you could cut up zucchini and like have some oil on it and garlic and shit like that. And now you're tasting oil and garlic, not zucchini, but you're eating a vegetable. Yeah. But if you do the same thing with like um a potato or butternut squash it tastes like something zucchini to me is like trash i don't like any of those fucking hot take rose butter nut squash it's gonna be a long few months yeah it's gonna be a tough fall for my boy yeah doesn't like a savory flavor in the autumnal months? Oh, dude. I really don't.

But it's the texture. I don't like the texture. Really? Yeah, it's disgusting. What about in like a soup? Well, you should start with a soup. I feel like that's a good way to get turned out to butternut squash. Oh, try it.

You know what? I'll try it, Ron. If butternut squash soup was a man, I would let him ruin my life. Yeah, it's that good. It's that fucking good. It's that good. Okay, now you got me. That's how bad you want it. You're

going to be dating a butternut squash soup before you know it. Okay, now I want to fuck a squash. Me too. That's dangerous in here. That was like one of the things that got, we had like a TV show that got canceled because someone posted about a pumpkin looking like a butthole or something like that. They said they wanted to fuck a pumpkin. There was a dude on Twitter who used to do that every year. Oh, okay. He'd fuck a pumpkin. Everyone would be like, this guy's sick.

I'll have to search for him. I remember I was always like, this is pretty gross. And everyone else was like, no, this is funny. No, this is camp. Yeah. I was like, I guess. I think I blocked him. But he's definitely doing it again this year. Oh, yeah. I mean, you have to keep up tradition. He does it every year. Yeah, it is camp. Yeah. I was like, I guess. I think I blocked him. But he's definitely doing it again this year.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you have to keep up tradition. He does it every year. Yeah, it's tradition. You pass that down to your kids. It's like he's like a normal, like, he probably is not because he's fucking a pumpkin. But he was like just like a normal Twitter dude and then once a year. And now my question is, he cuts a hole into the pumpkin And puts his dick through it

And it actually sounds like it would probably hurt more It would probably hurt The rind of the pumpkin is pretty stiff Probably some chafing Like someone who's fucked a pumpkin before You've fucked a pumpkin No See why I was asking is because I do it differently

I use a stem Oh my god that is that would be the worst. That sounds horrifying. That sounds horrible. Those stems are fucking... Yeah, those things are strong. Strong stem. We should get into an ad now that we're talking about fucking shit.

Should we just cut the ads in yet? Because I think we're too far. We're too far in. Are we? How far in are we? Did I talk too much? No, no, no. That's all we do on this podcast is fucking shoot the shit

like just fucking riff we're a riffing podcast mostly yeah it's crazy we're one of the first podcasts in here to do that better help it can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem solving mode when faced with a challenge in life now a word from our

sponsor better help but to stay in problem-solving mode when faced with a challenge in life. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. But when you learn how to find your own solutions, there's no better feeling. A therapist can help you become a better problem solver, making it easier to accomplish your goals, no matter how big or small. Roan, talk about your personal experience with therapy and why someone should try therapy. I went on BetterHelp, and I did the option where you just have to talk to someone, and they don't have to see your face because I didn't want this woman to know how ugly I felt. Or if you shaved your head.

Or if I had shaved my head because I was going through it so freaking hard. But because of BetterHelp, they don't care what you look like to give you therapy. They don't. Not like other therapists. They care. They're judgmental like other therapists. They care. They're judgmental, other therapists. Other therapists are judgmental. But at BetterHelp, they don't care.

You don't have to see them. You can just talk to somebody. They'll give you some good-ass advice, pat your butt, and send you on your way. So if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, accessible, affordable, and entirely online. Get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey. Surgey. Stop it, Seth.

And switch therapists any time. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Come in, dude. Get in here. Betterhelp.com slash sun. We're doing ads. 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp.com slash sun. Dude, this will make this ad so good if you come in and talk during this. Francis! What's going on? I'm good. Is this mic on? Can you check just to make sure? I was told you were looking for me that time.

I'm sorry. Yeah, that was like a long time ago. We wanted you on the pod, but we already roguened up. I'm so sorry, guys. It's hours in, dude. Yeah, I can, I don't know, whatever. Tell me when to leave. Don't apologize.

No harm, no foul. We're just talking. What were you doing? Have been, you know, going over some X's and O's. Yeah? Some very complicated math, honestly. I believe it, honestly.

It's been brain-frying. Really? Yeah. What the fuck are you doing doing math? Do you want to hear? What numbers are you trying to get? So you want to hear? What numbers are you So, you know, we brought over our pod

to Barstool. Oops. Yeah, exactly. Oops podcast. Give it a watch. They can't see you. Yeah, you did a little You don't put this on video?

Oh, I'm not on the They're about to widen out the frame in just a second. That's what he's in there doing. Okay. I don't want to bore By the way, I don't know if this is

sobed fodder. No, it's good. It's very sobbed. Sobbed? It is. This is the type of shit we talk about. We're always crunching on these. I hope it loves this.

Sobbed. Oh, is there any way we can widen out the camera or no? No idea. Okay. So basically... It's right here. What's that? It's right here.

Yeah. You want me to sit on your lap would you rather come on tell us a story oh there he is best day of my life a couple of redheads just a couple of gingies

I'm leaning so much I'm leaning on the arm because I don't want to show you actually how much weight I possess. Oh, you can show me. He's been on creatine. Why'd you sink in like a tire that just got you? I just watched you lower down like six inches. Like a hydraulic. I'm giving it all.

You are a hefty man. I'm giving her everything I've got. Yeah, and you're not liking that one bit. No, joke's on you. I do like it. Oh, the joke is literally on you. Yeah, it really is. I am on you.

So what's going on? What happened with your numbers? You brought over Oops. We brought over Oops the Pod. And, you know, we have ads that we had booked through the end of the year. And so we have to figure out how to transfer that money that is owed to Barstool. It's very complicated because it's all invoiced to us. And then we have to pay taxes on it.

So it's hard to know how to – because we're going to get $10.99 at the end of the year. You were right. I don't care about this. Oh, my God. I just fell asleep. That's so weird. No, you didn't, you stupid bitch. Shut up, Maddie.

But wait, so do you have to do all the accounting for your podcast yourself? We have been doing, yeah. Do it yourself? Just pass it over to the sales team. Now we are. Yeah, yeah. But they don't know the brands that we've worked with.

So we've had to invoice. Plus, it's all on our own tax shit. Yeah, yeah. In theory, we think we've found a way around it, but it's been very complicated. You guys are... So he's about to widen the camera angle, so you will be able to sit over here, I think.

Huge. Yeah, you'll give true. You'll sit over on this. Hey, Maddie, really quick. I really didn't think we needed to widen anything, but what do I know? Who am I? Ready?

Ready? Okay, ready? Here's Maddie. Oh, I gave it away. We all knew you were going to do me, but go ahead. Who is this? Ready? Okay. Wait, I'm nervous now. I feel like... Hey, Nick. Hey, what?

I'm Maddie. Say what? I just got a flat ass. Oh! That's all their jokes. They all go nuts. I'm Maddie. Say what? I just got a flat ass. Oh. Yeah. That's all their jokes. They all go nuts. And how do you think I got seven seasons?

That's all you got to do, bitch. Hey, Nick, you want to get blown by me? No? Okay. Frances, you could never go on Wild N' Out because you don't have a flat ass. You have too much. No, you have the OG BBL. You're too you don't have a flat ass. You have too much. No, you have like the OG BBL. You're too caked up.

Too proportionate. Too cakey. Too cakey. You're far too cakey to ever be. Wait, but you guys, all three of you have done a show together? Yeah, we just did in Jersey. We did, yeah. And everyone came up after me and they were like, you know, the girl who opened was the best.

Oh, yeah. That's what I was like, God. Who's that opener? The fuck? And I had to be like, well yeah that's what i was like god all right who's that opener and i had to be like well that's only because she's doing 20 minutes have her do 45 then you'll have to see how much harder it is yeah i only did 15 it's not easier to look good when you're playing your greatest hit cd exactly come exactly. Dude, it's absolute bullshit. It was fun. We drove home.

Well, Rowan said he didn't know you had a Tesla, so I didn't know if I was not supposed to tell him. That's okay. I bought it used. I didn't know that, though. I bought it used. I didn't know if that was out to the Barstool University. Yeah, but it's a three.

It's, you know. Well, everyone at Barstool knows that. Sure. Fucking, I don't care. Man, that's awesome. I was driving that when I was doing the shoulder video, and I think most people who know the windows of the Tesla are somewhat distinct, so they probably could have...

It's a good car. Maybe Tesla'd up. But then Sass and I have had some major headaches with the Tesla. Tesla's been causing us issues lately. Like what? On the road. Can't find a charger or something? The next weekend, next week we went out to Red Bank, New Jersey,

where I'm from. Did you know that? Brought Maddie Wiener instead. Oh, shit. Our other friend. I see. You're just plucking from the Maddies. Yeah.

No problem. I didn't know that. Yeah. And you know what the crowd said after her? They were like, boy, that Maddie you had this week was a lot better than the one you had last week. Oh, wow. You're pitting the Maddies against each other?

Yeah. You're like, guys Maddies against each other? Yeah. You're like, guys, don't make us... That's crazy. Your fans came out to two Jersey shows. Fucking losers. Yeah. Well, you know. So what was your problems with the car this time?

When we drove down to Red Bank, you know, I was bragging about it. Francis gave like a 30-minute speech being like, this is... I mean, this car, it's just perfect. He's like, this is I mean this car it's just perfect it's like he's like this is the kind of car that you want to drive and then like 20 minutes later we're in like panic mode being like dude we're gonna miss the fucking show yeah I set out a little low on the old battery tank we only think I think we had like 38 miles left and you know Red Bank was

more than that so we're driving down and i'm telling them how great the car is and showing them how fast it accelerates which makes the battery drain faster and uh i said oh it's okay you just plug in a charging station on the way they're everywhere and as it were i was still talking to maddie and Sass. And we had our place plugged in. And Jersey is filled with these convoluted off-ramps and overpasses. You can't tell just by looking on the line of the road of your map whether you're supposed to go left or right. Because sometimes those two lanes will go very parallel for a long time before it finally snakes off do you know what i mean yes i know exactly what you mean good it's

not as accessible as it seems on the map actually uh not to not to butt in but that happened to me twice when i was driving to rochester and it was not just like a minor setback it was a 30 minute setback because i got on i was like it was like, there's sheets off this exit. I get off that exit and it takes me 10 miles to the sheets. And I was like, why would they ever put that there? Wait, sheets? Sheets, like the gas station. Oh, I didn't know.

I thought you were buying linen. No, no. You've never been to sheets? It happened to me on the way there and the way back. At the same exact exit. I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. You told me once. Yeah, that's kind of on you that second time. Dude, I was like, there and the way back at the same exact exit. I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Only once. That's kind of on you, that second time. Dude, I was like, there's no way it's going to happen to me again.

So you guys ran out of gas? We got very close. We got down to about six miles, at which point I said, oh boy, this isn't looking good. Francis is trying to keep it cool. He's like, look at all the features. I was. You were on the phone. I was on the phone, and Maddie was sitting in the passenger seat, I think.

And I... And Sass, you sat in the back? No, Maddie was actually sitting in the back. Oh, okay. Maddie was in the back. The details aren't important. So Maddie was in the back, and I distinctly remember we're two miles away from the gas station, but I only have like four miles left on the charge.

It tells you how much you have left. If you run out of gas, you can run and get some gas and bring it back. You can't bring back a handful of electricity. I don't know where you find a big old Tesla battery. Exactly. So I think that I'm supposed to stay left on this sort of rampy fork. Sure enough, that was wrong. And then the second you take, it realizes you've gone the wrong way.

It recalculates. And it said, it went from saying there's two miles left to this place to saying there are 11 miles. And we only had four miles left of charge. And Maddie audibly gasped. That was so funny. Like a true gasp. Mother Maddie audibly gasped. That was so funny. Like a true gasp. Mother Maddie. Mother Maddie.

Yeah. Yeah. Like an actual gasp, you know? Damn. And then somehow we, I managed to take a police off ramp, like an illegal service vehicles only drive through a police precinct.

Kind of like when you go past a toll and sometimes on the right there's a collection area for police cars. I turned through one of those, didn't get in trouble. Wonder why. Hey, Nick. Hey, what?

Got white privilege. Say what? And we made it to the charging station, got our snacks and charged, and it was good. And we watched the Bill Burr new special. Yeah. In the Tesla.

In the Tesla? That was sick. That's sick. And you watched it as you... No, no. As we charged up. As we parked. Oh, that's sick, though.

It was sick. Big TV. You can recline your seats, watch movies. Netflix is streaming on there. It's pretty good. How long does it charge? Popcorn.

Takes about... If you have a supercharger, then it's 20 minutes. We were charged for like five, ten minutes, and we got there and back completely fine. No problem. Some other electric cars take forever to charge. That's why they're not Teslas. No, I got screwed over by a Nissan Leaf in Wisconsin once. That's embarrassing.

I don't need to go into detail, but my fault. Did you rent one? Yeah, I rented one. Where was that? In Milwaukee. Yeah, I was going to say, I bet you've, a Nissan Leaf sounds like a code name for a guy that was lacking prowess in the bedroom.

Let's just say he blew away. Sounds like you, Maddie got screwed over by a Nissan Leaf, a.k.a. a guy named tom or something just say i raked his ass oh man i had to dig for that where do you uh where do you put the car in new york or is it not so this is where having a tesla is good versus not is if you have a charger where you park your car which most tesla owners do i do not you park in a garage and they don't have it in there damn so like we don't we have to rely on

go somewhere get out in the wild yeah does that make it worse does that make it more inconvenient way shittier damn dude my heart goes out to you bro i feel like if you have to go somewhere to charge your phone yeah that sucks that sucks ass that's dumb as hell people have to do doing i'm trying to help the environment yeah you care i can probably add it to your building right i mean you live in a there are the problem is that the the parking spots in our building are a lot of people own them because it's beneath where i live and so the people that own their spots and have teslas have put Tesla charges into their spots. But we rent our place, so we can't.

Oh, my God. Annoying. Oh, dude, you should be able to put one in there. You're fucking paid now. That's fucked up. Yeah. I'm not trying to hijack the pod, by the way, so I'll let you guys get back to it. Oh, dude, we're done.

We've been sitting here for hours. You're literally finished. We're finishing now. That's just the end of an ad read. This was just an ad read that you came in for. For whom? For BetterHelp. BetterHelp.

We're one of the first podcasts ever to just riff. No, to ever podcast. Yeah. What other podcast in here just really fucking let it loose like us? No, that's what I'm saying. FC is sick. I mean, they're sick, but they're more like pop culture. They'll talk about television shows. Stealing our guests, I'm saying. The FC is sick. I mean, they're sick, but they're more like pop culture. They'll talk about television

shows. Stealing our guests, which sucks. You just riff, dude. Maybe I'll cancel until I show loyalty. No, no, no, don't cancel. Obviously not. I have a career to make. They got a following that you need to fuck. No, no, no, don't cancel. I need more people to come on the Maddie train.

Choo-choo, bitch. They're gonna laugh at you. They're gonna think you're funny. At me?-choo, bitch. They're going to laugh at you. They're going to think you're funny. At me? No, no, no. They're going to laugh at your jokes. Oh, yeah. I think it should be fine.

Wait, are you guys nervous for me to go on KFC? We are a little nervous. Really? We were talking about it before. We were like, I hope they mesh well. You never know. You never know because they'll vault some stuff. They'll throw some stuff in the vault and it will never come out.

What do you mean? Like if the podcast doesn't go good, they're tough. Shut up. It's also like it's nervous. I've done it before and it'll never come out what do you mean like if the podcast doesn't go good they're tough shut up it's also like it's nervous i've done it before and it's crazy they have like 70 interns all in there taking notes shut up and like dave sits in for all shut up okay dave sits in and he's like i don't like this cut it but this shit is whack and all the sponsors are like live they are watching no they're live they're like our product is dropping in stock yeah actively oh maddie say something funny before it's released i think it should be great i look forward to now it's actually very easy and very

fun um dave's girl intern texted me or what's her name? Assistant? I don't know. There was a girl. She said she's a Wild N' Out fan. Dave's intern? No, not Dave. The fucking guy. KFC. Wow. Wait, what?

Jackie? Yeah, Jacqueline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said she's a Wild N' Out fan? Yeah, we were texting. Oh, very nice. No way.

It's like Barstool Girls got to stick together. I had Silvana texted Maddie. I thought you meant Dave's girlfriend. Oh, Dave's together. I was like, Silvana texted Maddie. I thought you meant Dave's girlfriend. Oh, Dave's girlfriend. I was like, what the fuck? That'd be crazy.

Should have just rolled with that. She's so beautiful. Just do another, just say that you're texting with Dave's girlfriend and we'll clip it from the beginning and we'll put it out on social. Ready? Okay, ready. So I was texting with Dave's girlfriend. Silvana?

Yeah. Yeah, she's so nice. Really? Yeah, she was like, hey, hey, like, um... This is good. This is good. She was like, hey, like, um...

Hey, girly. Dude, I hate when girls call each other girly. I hate it. When people call me girly... It's just homophobic. No, dude. I'm heterophobic. I'm homophobic, too, and I hate it. To me call me girly. No, dude. I'm heterophobic.

I'm homophobic, too, and I hate it. To me, it sounds condescending for some reason. It is. Some girlies are wearing these tops, but I realize that other girlies are wearing these shoes. It's like, shut the fuck up. I don't know why it annoys me. I can't even get to the root of what annoys me about girls calling girls girlies. I don't think I've ever actually heard someone say that in person.

Usually, it's an online thing. Yeah, it's a lot of online. A lot about girls calling girls girlies. I don't think I've ever actually heard someone say that in person. Usually it's an online thing. Yeah. It's a lot of online. A lot of girlies are doing this. I've gotten girly in like a condescending way. Like girly, I love you, but. Oh, yeah. You're like, I'm just trying to sell tickets.

Yeah. Someone commented. I did a stupidest crowd work clip that was like a guy was single and I was like, oh, is that why you have your arms crossed? Shut up up fucking gay Or whatnot But you know what I mean It was like a stupid

Crowd war clip And someone commented like Not you single shaming Or I love you Maddie But not the single The single shaming Isn't it for me Oh no

I can't Be on the internet anymore No that's like a Giving blank Yeah That's not I mean that I don't know

single shaming was a thing that happened where you think they were probably joking think now went to her profile. She didn't follow me anymore.

Oh shit. I got unfollow. Oh yeah. That's just fucking insane. Yeah. Yeah. Haters gonna probably

someone you don't want to have. Yeah. We want to get along anyway. Chronically single bitch. Figure it out.

Single. Oh that's why no one will date you. Yeah, it's a sad sack of shit. I did a video like over a year ago, and there was some joke about some dude being dyslexic in it. And like, I had a mob of people coming after me saying I was ableist. Oh.

They were like, you're a fuck barstool scumbag. Oh shit. Making fun of dyslexia. I was like, dude, who gives a fuck about dyslexia? You like have to, you like can't say, no, I don't mean to sound like Seinfeld,

but like you, there's some things you can't say. But also you can. What can Seinfeld possibly not say? I know, but literally remember. What he was saying before. Remember he was like,

I don't go to colleges because these kids don't laugh at anything. Because you can't fuck the 17 year olds anymore. I know. I miss my ex. That was fucked up when he was having sex with that 17-year-old. That was crazy. That's just Jerry.

He plucked her up in Central Park, too. He was reading in Central Park. Really? That's how he plucked her up? He was just reading an SAT studying book. Yeah. He was probably reading Junie B. fucking Jones. Yeah, the Babysitter's Club.

Yeah, she was reading Babysitter's Club, fucking Charlotte's Web. Harry Seinfeld comes over. She's like... This bitch was reading with her fingers going along, mouthing the words.

She's like, and then Junie said to her mom, why are you in my room? She was looking at a picture book. Hi, famous person. Of course I'll say hi to you. Magic treehouse. It was a different time, though.

Yeah. It was back then, pre-Me Too. You didn't know what you could say. That was a long time ago, right? Yeah. You could do whatever you wanted.

You see him, he's throwing fits this year. You see that? You see that? He was on Vogue, wasn't he? Oh, he was the... Oh, fits. I thought you meant

he was having episodes. No, throwing fits. Yeah, the Kith fits. Yeah, it was Kith. I think he was a Kith model or some shit like that. That was fun. That was fire as fuck. Fun.

I feel like none of the pieces are anything that I would ever see anyone in. I feel like it's 90s nostalgia. Yeah, definitely. I think a lot of people are- He was alive in the 90s and he didn't dress anything even close to like that. He didn't? I think he kind of did. It's like a heightened, heightened, heightened version.

Yeah. The jeans and the maybe jackets. Yeah, what was the jacket that he was wearing? Was it like a school jacket or something? I thought it was a varsity jacket. It wasn't a Mets jacket, was it? Yeah, it was. It was, right?

Because he's a Mets fan. Yeah. What a bum. What a cool guy. Have you ever met him? No. Yeah, what is the jacket? It just says Varsity on it.

The Kith jacket. That's it. Kith? Do you guys own any Kith? No. Of course. Sad to say. You do?

Of course. What do you have? A shirt? A t-toe. Sass has four pieces of clothing. I don't have a lot of clothes. Yeah, I don't. I have a lot of clothes, but nothing good. Yeah, I...

No, I need... I give Sass clothes all the time. He gives me shit that he buys in the airport. He's like, dude, I bought this for you. I bought this shirt that says, I love New York. Yeah, no, it's like what it is. It was a Detroit shirt, and it cost $70. He tries to spin it around on the internet to make me look like an asshole.

Because he bought me like a self-help book from the airport that was like 10,000 pages. And he's like, I bought this for you. And then he turns it around like I'm an asshole because I'm like, I don't want this. You are, dude. Gift giving is my love language. No, it's not. No, it isn't. And you're used to reciprocate.

It's like, I don't even know what it would be like. Like that fucking orange and black bag. Yeah. If I just bought you that. And I was like, dude, I bought you this. And you'd be like, why? It was a shirt. It was a regular shirt that was your size.

But it was not. You didn't buy it for me. Yes, I did. So this was last week. The whole episode, he's running through. He's like, I got you this sweatshirt. And I'm like, oh, thanks, dude. Like, I'll wear it. Yeah'm not gonna wear it and at the end of the episode i find the where he ripped

the tag off of the back because i didn't want you to know how much it is only something you do if you put on a sweatshirt and the tag is like itchy no it's because i didn't want him to know how much it cost did you wear it was not on it did you wear? The price was not on it. Did you wear it? The price was not on it. Did you? It was the one with the size. You only rip that off. I know what happened. You got on the plane and it was cold. It was a little cold.

It was a little cold and you bought it. So I bought it on the plane and he bought himself. No. Tyler was with me, dude. Did he put the hoodie on? No. Tyler had a different flight than him back. He flew home early.

So what? I put. You got to the airport. You're like, oh, wow, it's actually kind of breezy. I didn't buy it at the airport. I told you where I bought it. You bought it in Detroit and it's a sweatshirt. I bought it at a restaurant in Detroit. And whether or not the tag was off, you put it on the airplane

because those things are cold as fuck. And then you tried to bring it to me because you're like, I don't fucking want this piece of shit sweatshirt. It was $70. Piece of shit, how? I'll give it to Sass and I'll make him look like an idiot. It wasn't a fucking, it's not a piece of shit, it was beautiful. I'll take the sweatshirt. You can it i love that sweatshirt thank you good thank you i don't know if it'll be a gift from sass now it's gonna be now he'll get all the

valor for having given you a gift and i'll say i don't fucking want this yeah you should you should gift it forward i will yeah oh it's like you're gonna have the book too the book's still on my desk i don't need self-help i'm actually perfect It's actually It's called On Managing Yourself It's just about Being able to manage yourself So it's not really self-help It's just like That's an airport book

Helping my buddies If someone gave that to me I would throw it in there Yeah, it's an airport book It's literally like And people were like Legitimately like, dude He had just shaved his head

Because he wanted to kill himself They were like, dude Roan bought you that book And you're not even gonna read it He was on the brink of ending Of self-harm Why the hellan bought you that book and you're not even going to read it? He was on the brink of ending of self-harm. Why the hell would I read that? Because you could.

You did shave your head. Yeah, you shaved your head and we're starting to. Do you ever see me with my shaved head? I don't think so. I don't think so. What was it, like a year ago? Yeah. Yeah.

You had like a little Britney Spears. Big time. Thing going on. Yeah. Yeah. And he hasn't cut his hair since then. No, I have. I got it cut once. You then no i have i got a cut

once did yeah i got to get it straightened up straightened i had to get it lined up what do you mean they it was like all uneven oh got it you know like a haircut well i was just saying it's all uneven right now and you haven't gotten it since then oh that's you yeah i was kind of hot right that would but that was was the day after I shaved it. That was the most bald I had ever been. Oh, shit. Damn. You looked badass.

I did. My dad was so pumped. You look good. I'm never doing that again. Bald king. I'm never doing that again. You can't, because that's like a fuck you to all bald guys, too, because you have so much hair. I know.

You know? Yeah, well, unless you go through another little episode. It might happen yearly. You probably felt good, too. I did. It felt great. Was your head cold for a second? Yeah. Well, unless you go through another, you know, little episode. It might happen yearly. It probably felt good, too. It did. It felt great. Was your head cold for a second? Super.

It was in the winter. It was in December. Did you always, like, rub the top of your head, like, when you get your braces off? And you're like... Constantly. Teeth. Yeah. It does feel sweet, getting the braces off.

Maybe I'll shave my head. Yeah, you should. That'd be crazy. And not even comment on it. And they'd fire you from Wild N' Out. Oh, absolutely. They would fire you from that show. Whatever I was referencing.

The only thing I've ever been on in my life. They're not going to fire you from Wild N' Out. No, I think I'm good for that. But I think I would get not booked anymore for stand-up. Because if a girl shaves her head, you can't talk your way out of that. People would be like, no, you're insane. Really? No, you're insane.

Yeah. I feel like you just would book Brooklyn a lot. Fresh in Brooklyn. I feel like there has to be women comedians with shaved heads out there, no? Yeah, but I feel like my shaved head would be like, oh, we can't work with her because she's insane. Yeah. She's deeply cancerous. I didn't even feel insane when I did it,

and I still don't think I was insane when I did it. I just needed a haircut, and I had COVID. I was like, fuck it, I'm going to shave my head. I've always wanted to. I never did. You had just gone through a traumatic life event. No, I didn't. I got denied a raise, and then it was online for months and months,

still following me to this day. It was online? Yeah. Why? His boss made fun of him. His boss made fun of him. Silvana's boyfriend me to this day. It was online? Yeah. Why? His boss made fun of him. His boss made fun of him? Silvana's boyfriend?

Silvana. Your friend's boyfriend? Yeah. You know Silvana's boyfriend. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. She texted me. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I remember a year ago, she texted me. She was like, you know Sass, the bald one. I remember now. I remember. That was at a dinner party her and I went to. Yeah, that must have been fun as fuck.

Was it in Montau or miami that you guys were together in silvano yeah we were in uh we were in um no we were actually in malibu that weekend really yeah oh shit california girl sometimes we pop over it's not that bad of a flight if you're flying private no it's not It's not at all. Anyway, hey, so. Yeah, I'm free. You might be able to sneak your way in and just work here permanently by just acting like you know Silvana.

Dude, I think I'm just going to do that. I'm just going to gaslight everyone here. Just start coming and just be like, hey, I haven't been getting paid. You would. It would work. I'm just going to come here every day. Yeah.

You should just come in. Yeah. Just go sit down. And they'd be like, oh, wow, they really hired Maddie Smith. And then they start putting me in things. I'm like, oh, yeah. All of a sudden, I'm producing every podcast. Are you aware of any Barstool content that you maybe would want to be a part of?

Son of a boy dad? What's one that you don't like? I don't know, because the only thing I watch is what I'm on. So, so far, my favorite is this podcast. And then my second will be KFC. And then is that the same thing where they do Ask the Internet? Is that the same thing? Do they still do that?

Yeah, I think so. I saw someone do it recently. So I'm prepped for that. I'm going to prep this at home. Oh, Call Her Daddy is my fourth favorite. And then I think that's – oh, and The Yuck Yuck. What's it called? The Yuck?

Oh, The Yuck. The Yuck Yuck. The Yuck. The Yuck is my second favorite because you guys are think that's oh and the Yuck Yuck. What's it called? The Yuck? Oh the Yuck. The Yuck Yuck. The Yuck. The Yuck is my second favorite because you guys are on it. That means a lot. We have one called Mean Girls though.

Oh and anything involving Francis obviously. Oh yeah Francis is here. He's my celebrity crush. You know him? Yeah I know Francis. What? We talked about Francis

last time. And we hung out together. Me and Francis. Yeah grab him. Bring in Fran. I have to pee real quick. Okay. Yeah he can come sit in him, grab him. Bring in Fran. I have to pee real quick. Okay. Yeah, he can come sit in your seat.

I'm just kidding, brother. I would never do that to you. He's your celebrity crush? Yeah. Does he know that? Oh, yeah. You told him that? Um, no.

You handle it well? Absolutely. Really? Wait, no. He takes things really seriously. He's really cool. He's hilarious. We're like friends. Yeah, same. I don't know if he would say that. No, we're friends. We text. He takes things really seriously. He's really cool. He's hilarious. We're like friends.

Yeah, same. I don't know if he would say that. No, we're friends. We text. I went in his Tesla. Last gig we did. We went in his Tesla. Tesla?

Yes. I don't know if that's out. Oh, shit. It was a Tesla. Yo, that's crazy. And yeah, we did a gig together in Jersey, me, him, and Sass. Really? Yeah, in Jersey City.

Dude, he's a good stand-up. Francis? Yes. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, he's a good stand-up. Francis? Yes. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, he's been busting his ass in stand-up. I love him. He used to work here, got fired, and now he's back working here. No.

In the time when he wasn't working here, he got way better at stand-up. I know. He was good before, and now he's great. I know. It's amazing. Yeah, it's very impressive. People can get better. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.

I kind of look at people as they're as good as they are when I meet them oh i know doesn't that blow your mind when you see someone you're like wait you improved yeah it doesn't make a lot of sense you start to get jealous you're like well i've improved too i was surely improving at the exact same rate absolutely it's not faster wait so you like francis you're you have a celebrity crush on francis even though he has he has red hair francis is just like when i talk to him'm like, that's the kind of man you want. You know? Yeah, he is a man. He's a man.

Yeah. That's when people are like, what kind of... Huh? He's out? Oh, he left? The kind of person, like if you're dating a guy and he fucks up, you're like, would Francis do that? Probably not.

Yeah, he's definitely on his P's and Q's. For sure. He gave me too much mushroom chocolates at his house one time. Really? Did you bug out? Yeah, badly. We were playing a game called Secret Hitler, and I forgot who was Hitler or not for quite some time afterwards.

But outside of that, he's never wronged me. Francis has never crossed me. But he's back in here. He's crushing it, dude. Yeah, he is. He immediately became one of the most powerful people. Yeah, because he's fucking high IQ motherfucker. Hey, Francis.

Francis has been eating a lot of Barstool snacks. His posture got worse. He got blogger posture right away. Whether you're at a festival, tailgate, or relaxing after midterm, SoCo is the ready-for-anything whiskey. It's packed with flavor and makes a mean SoCo sour. SoCo Black has the right balance of sweetness. Listening. You heard the pause there.

That was for you. SoCo Black has the right balance of sweetness wrapped in smoke flavor for those who want their whiskey bold. Try a SoCo sour shot today. They're easy to make. One-third SoCo plus two-thirds sour mix done. Done. SoCo Sour shot today. They're easy to make. 1 3rd SoCo plus 2 3rd Sour mix done. Done. SoCo is so tasteful. It's the right mix

of sass and class. That's my kind of whiskey. Times change and so does what we drink. Make a more tasteful choice and choose SoCo. Click the link in the description below to see more cool stuff from SoCo. Now back to the show with Maddie Smith. Hey.

We got a lot of fat people here. A lot of fat people. Yeah, I think the thing with Barstool is you forget that some people here can be unattractive. Oh, yeah. Oh, why?

You can't unwild an out? You gotta be smoking hot. No, you just picture Barstool like cool, cool. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not a hit. We have very few of those. Leather sneakers.

Yeah, that's like Francis Olmey pretty much in the that's like Francis only, pretty much. Right. In the KFC. And Dave is pretty hot. Silvano, obviously, is gorgeous. Silvano's going to be pissed when she hears you say that. Why?

Say that Dave's hot? Yeah, but then I said, of course she's gorgeous. Coming for her man? No, but they know. They're in on the joke. When I go over to their place, probably weekly They're just like man he's so funny And I want to make out They're always like asking for a threesome

I don't want to because it's unprofessional Until I don't work at Barstool It's good to keep that Yeah Do you think Dave's hot or just rich? He might just be rich He's like a good looking guy For what we're dealing with,

yeah. I would say it's not... Dave is an attractive guy. Compared to that guy that just walked by? Oh, I mean, I don't know what that Haggard look... No, I'm kidding. Dude, I would like to say something. There's so many

more hot girls than there are hot guys, and it pisses me off every day of my life. I know, right? Yeah, it is bullshit. Fuck is that? Fuck is that? Someone's got to do something about that. That's why we have to be like, oh, we're into personalities.

We have to tell ourselves that. There's no options. You saw Johnny Bananas just walk by? Yeah, who is that? Johnny Bananas from MTV's Real World Road Rules or whatever? They're co-workers. Oh, shit. Go say hi. Yo, what up? It's Maddie. That's the guy who came with the camera? Oh, no, no? Johnny Bananas from MTV's Real World Road Rules or whatever. They're co-workers. Oh, shit. Go say hi.

Yo, what up? It's Maddie. That's the guy who came with the camera? Oh, no, no. Johnny Bananas. He's like a celebrity. Oh, that's who that guy is? No, no, no.

Yeah, that was Johnny Bananas. Oh, really? Another hot guy. Oh, shit. It was an actual hot guy. Theo was on Road Rules. Yes. So why did someone say Theo's a bigot?

I don't know. It was actually a battle rapper that said it. Oh, shit. My worlds are colliding. I know. How the fuck would they say that about Theo? I know. I ain't know. It was actually, it was a battle rapper that said it. And I was like, oh shit. My worlds are colliding. I know. How the fuck would they say that about Theo? I know. That ain't right.

It pissed me off. That's my boy. I know. That's fucked up. If he's a bigot, then I'm a bigot. Yeah, I'm actually opening for him next week. I'm going out with him again. Hell yeah.

I'm going to Denver. I've never been. Oh, Denver's awesome. I'm going to get stoned as fuck. Denver's great. Yeah. The altitude, though. It'll get you. It'll sneak up on awesome. I'm going to get stoned as fuck. Denver's great. Yeah. Altitude, though. It'll get you.

It'll sneak up on you. I know. All of a sudden, you're saying stuff you shouldn't. Zass is a Denver head, dude. He's always up in Denver. I wish I lived down in Denver, but I actually like New York. I actually like New York, unfortunately. Otherwise, I would live anywhere fucking else.

But I'm trapped. Yeah, I would love to live out in Denver, but I just got too much on the line here in the big city. Oh, I would live anywhere fucking else. But I'm trapped. Yeah, I would love to live out in Denver, but, you know, I just got too much on the line here in the big city. Oh, absolutely. My whole team is here. See where comedy is. LA or New York. That's what you got to do.

I'm trying to, like, have a career. I just don't know about the scene out in Denver. I definitely would have to scope it out for at least a couple months before I move out there. Oh, no, for sure. And, like, I'm just solid in Denver. Yeah. I can hit up any booker. I can hit you up in here. I have always. Oh, no, for sure. And, like, I'm just solid in there. Yeah. Like, I can hit up any booker.

I'm like, I can hit you up in here. I have always... Oh, no, you can... No, you take it. I don't... I had nothing to say. Yeah, I was going to say, I think it would be so funny

if I tried to, like, just drop into the cellar. Yeah, you should. Yeah, so I'm just going to... I'm just going to go up and do, like, 10. Is there room? Is there room?

Could you bump? I heard a story of a girl going to the cellar and telling the host she had an audition oh really let's put her up and she didn't oh that's a good way to never go up there ever again yeah yeah did she do well no i've been what would happen if she fucking murdered and they have to book i've heard stories of people being like just throw them up throw them up like friends of friends yeah yeah and her and i'm getting past damn that's a wild move i i had someone be like oh no never mind that was not my story larry david did that that's what larry david did

really yeah he was like at a show his like first stand-up show that he ever went to and he went over to the book and he's like hey i want to go up and the guy was like no he was like why the fuck would we put you up and then that guy ended up being larry david you about to tell that story as your own i was about to say i was about to say someone told me that they did that this one time i made the show called sign yeah yeah and now i'm larry fuck yeah and now all i had to do was ask the booker yeah and then i and then he went back to that same booker one day and he was like hey, hey, you think I could go up this time? And he was like, yeah, Larry, I think we could make that work. Let's do it.

The booker's probably dead now. Yeah, he killed himself. Yeah. After the first episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm came out. Man, that's tough. Are you past at the cellar? Yeah, she's always at the cellar. Are you kidding?

Are you actually? She's what we like to call a cellar rat. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm just like, oh, I walk in, I'm like, what's up? How you do?

All the servers. I like a flash mob forms behind me when I walk into the cellar. No, it's cool. People start whispering. Oh my God, don't look right now. Yeah, yeah. When I go to the cellar,

I'm like Ellen. I'm like, don't look me in the eye. Nicki Minaj. Yeah. Fire her. No, it's fun. I've been there since January so it's fun

it's a club it's really fun yeah you didn't get unpassed does that happen to people they get unpassed I don't think officially yeah

I've heard that happens to people a lot yeah they don't get unpassed they just get phased out yeah that's happening to me right now where the stand where no it's not it's not it's just during how many clubs just like to fucking you know they just get phased out slowly. Yeah, that's happening to me right now. Where? The stand?

No, it's not. It's not. How many clubs just like to fucking, you know, keep you on your toes? Yeah, they do. They want you to, they like to make you beg.

Yeah. Can I please go up tonight? Please. All right. Please. We're not paying you. Okay. Okay.

And you're doing five. Oh, good. I'll go get ready. They come back in hey actually we don't have time okay thanks for the opportunity

are the people who decide who gets passed are they funny themselves like the bookers yeah I would never talk badly about a booker

yeah what are you doing you're trying to get us fucking fired from every job we never had I don't know I think that they might be funny I don't know. I think that they might be funny.

I don't know. They like to be like, we're not the funny ones, but we see comedy. Yeah, but we understand it more than you. There's some bookers, not at any clubs that I've gone up at, but I've heard about some clubs

where the booker is a comedian. Yes. That'll happen on the road a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they'll do time. Have you ever gotten any sneak disses from people on the road? Any what? Have you ever gotten any like sneak disses from people on the road?

Like, like, like, uh, I've ever gotten some dist, like sneak disses, sneak disses, like a little passive aggressiveness.

Hmm. Like that was, no, from like, uh, like I've gotten it from a waiter. I got it from a waiter in St. Louis when I was with Francis.

Oh, okay. And what did they say? Fuck. They were like, they were like, I was surprised it was good or something like that. It was a whole thing.

Oh, why don't you tell, why don't you say what the, I had to it was good or something like that. It was a whole thing. Oh, okay, okay. Why don't you say what the whole thing was? I had to fucking body slam his ass. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I body slam anyone who gets ready. A male waitress? Yeah. What the fuck?

First of all, he has issues. Get your life out, dude. I never really get that. People will say a lot like, I didn't know what to expect. I thought because you're on Wild Now, it would be a lot like I didn't know what to expect I thought a while now I thought because you're on a while now it would be like

a lot of like corny I get that all the time yeah and then they're like it was a real comedy show yeah every single time the first thing they say is dude I thought that was going to suck

always I'm like why why did you think that and they're like I'm stupid yeah we came in here with really low expectations

I guess that's why I'm like okay that's way better that's probably why you crush and they're like yeah that was good better than them thinking you're gonna be better than you are oh yeah yeah that's way better like you need to keep the expectations low keep them low i know oh shitty fucking clip i know i know and then boom come through with the intellectualism people post such bad clips oh yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, I'm surprised no one's been like, hey, stop. Oh, yeah. There's some times where I'm like, and then the reel is over.

It says watch again. And you watch again to see if you missed something because you're like, wait, what? It's like some people, it'll just be like a basic interaction. They'll be like, and what do you do for work? And they're like, oh, I work in finance. And they're like, oh, wow. And then the crowd will like laugh. And then it ends. And that's the clip. And you're like, oh, I work in finance. And they're like, oh, wow. And then the crowd will like laugh and then that's the clip.

And you're like, what the fuck did I just watch? No, literally, WTF did I just watch? Then you watch it twice and the algorithm's like, oh, they like this. Yeah, let's pump this.

Let's get this in front of more people. I know. Our attention rate was 100%. It's getting bad out there. It's getting saturated. Yeah. People who are putting their, comedians putting their clips

on Crowd Workout. We're noticing it because we follow. That's what, Oh, I noticed it as well. Someone said that. I forget who. Someone was like,

yeah, you guys are, like, comedians think that it's oversaturated because they only follow comedians. Yeah. And I was like, it kind of makes sense. No, I see this shit as well.

And I'm the farthest thing. You probably follow a lot of comedians too. Yeah. Not really. Well, even if you just follow us too, that's like already more than most. I got you both muted on everything. Oh, good.

Well, I unfollowed you, so. Can you mute on TikTok? I don't have TikTok. I think you can say, I'm not interested in this. Yeah, you can hold it down and do that. I know that. Yeah. Back from the old days.

Yeah. I'm about to get back into TikTok this year. I took a year off of TikTok, but I'm about to get back in. That's a great goal. TikTok sucks ass. I think it's going to be super easy. No, just putting stuff on there. Just posting clips on TikTok.

Why don't you just get someone to do it for you? You do have all the clips ready to go. Yeah, just have someone do it. Yeah, because I just don't even know what's funny i also um think that i'm being cocky when i put up clips i'm like look how fucking funny i think i am yeah i try to take the emotion out of it i'm like this is just a business yeah oh is that like i'm like i used to be like what are people gonna think i'm blah blah blah i don't really give a fuck anymore. We're just trying to keep things moving.

Yeah, you do have to just dump shit out. Just put some fucking shit up there. Hitman Hollow's got a big dick. Oh, what a transition. Yeah, you know why? Because he puts it on the internet. Are you on his close friends? No.

Dude, okay, so there's this cast member on Wild internet. Yeah. Are you on his close friends? No. Dude. Okay. So there's this cast member on Wild N' Out. His name's Hitman. Yeah. And he like has a close friends where he's bucks his. That's crazy. But that's like people do that. Yeah. I think that's like a big thing like in like LA.

I might be wrong. I think it is. It was at one point where I was like super into like underground rap. And like out of nowhere just like everyone started posting just like them fucking girls on Snapchat, like POVs. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Do the girls know? Probably not. Ew.

I bet they know. I'm sure they know. What if you're scrolling on Snapchat, you see your pussy? Yeah. You're like, wait, is that my pussy? Hold on. I know I was blackout, but I woke up. I just happened to Blueface yesterday.

What? His girlfriend saw him with a side chick and then put out all this stuff of them together. So now he has all his sex tapes released by that one girl. Man, isn't that illegal? She revenge-porned him? Damn. She revenge-porned him?

His poor blue... Didn't he just beat up her dad? Yeah, yeah. Like two weeks ago, he beat the fuck out of her dad at like a brunch or some shit like that. Who beat up their dad? Blueface beat up his girlfriend's dad.

Yes, so Blueface was supposed to come to Wild N' Out a couple weeks ago but it was the day he like beat up the girl's dad. No way.

Yeah, and the girl was supposed to come too. No. And the dad? And the dad was supposed to go. And he was going to be in the audience. All of a sudden

it's just just duty. That's why the fight started he didn't have enough tickets to get them all in. You said you could get us front row. Yeah. You said we could meet Mr. Cannon. AB,

AB's got a big dick too. Oh, dude. Yeah. Fucking hammered out. He came this week too. I met him. What? Yeah.

He's hot. I know he has shit against him, but. Yeah, he's a crazy sexual predator, but yeah. Dude, that video, did you watch the video? I just saw the blurred out picture. There's a video yeah he's a crazy uh sexual predator but yeah yeah dude that video did you watch the video i just saw the blurred out picture there's a video and he's like jumping

and putting his ass in this lady's face and then like it's like all like i mean it's not it's obviously weird but it's not it seems like it's all fun and games then he like turns around and floats on his back and he just has a massive boner and you don't even think he had a boner i think he was like pulling his dick like yeah and you just hear him massive boner and you see I don't even think he had a boner I think he was like pulling his dick yeah and you just hear a magician pulling string he had a boner that shit would hit the fucking ceiling

yeah and you just hear like the camera guys are like whoa and then it just cuts it's like his boys probably they're like whoa you were just sexually

assaulting the girl it was sweet I didn't want to see your dick bro but then why was it alive or something why was it no they filmed it.

It came out, I think it happened a couple months ago in Dubai and then the video just came out. Oh. The girl tried

to doggy paddle away. Yeah, yeah. The most depressing thing I've ever seen. Yeah, dude, it was wild. Like the first, like you see him just shoving his ass

in her face and then he turns around and you're like, what the fuck? I will say, if I was a dude and I had a big dick, I would probably be

letting everyone know. Running around? I would be watching that. He's nuts, though. People, do you believe, do you think it's the CTE? Maybe. I don't know. Does CTE make you fucking make dumbass decisions like that? Yes. Yeah. Yes, but he could also just be stupid to begin with.

He could also be dumb. Wait, respectfully, I met him, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could be stupid. You can meet stupid people. Yeah, stupid people yeah. You can be stupid. You can meet stupid people. Yeah, stupid people. Stupid people can be famous. He's going to watch this, too. Yeah, he's totally of our style. What the fuck?

I thought we were friends. I'm sorry, AB. Or something like that. Yeah. That's what he does. Did he spit? Was he spitting bars? I think he had some bars.

He probably went up and was like, oh, wear a condom. That's what all the guests say. Why? Because Nick Cannon has 10 kids. Oh, oh, oh. He just had his 10th. Yeah. And then on the show, we have to be like, oh.

What? Even though every single guest is like, stop having so many goddamn kids. He just had his 10th in the same 48 hours as NBA Youngboy had his 10th kid. Dude, we had a day off of filming because he had a kid. Because NBA Youngboy did? Yeah. Just to celebrate in observation? Because Nick Cannon left to have a kid.

I love how much of a debate it is. Like if he's a good father. People get fired up on Twitter over him having so many babies. People get fired up. All I know is that he's nice to me. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I feel about Silvana and Dave.

That is how I feel about them, too. All I know is Silvana was nice to me. I don't care how many kids they have. I don't care if it's zero. They're not married, right? Yeah. Are they going to get married? That's a question for her.

I think you've got to ask her. I'll ask her. I'll text her. Yeah. I think we're going to Soho? That's a question for her. I think you got to ask her. I'll ask her. I'll text her. Yeah. I think we're going to Soho House tonight. Oh, nice. The one in Dumbo?

No, the OG. Oh, really? Yeah. That's legendary. Yeah, I've been a member for like before other people were there. Before it got fucking saturated. It's saturated. So many randoms can get in now.

Oh, no. Every day I'm like, oh oh okay kfc's here now oh man kfc's gonna beat your ass yeah right because he'll watch this too no way god no rice i don't think we could pay an hour into the episode we could say like two hours what's up there's five people there's like five people watching right now they're like what is real we should have done that thing where like shane goes on rogan and drinks like 12 bud lights i know right we should have everyone was begging us like i know do something crazy and we just sat here no we just sat and riffed naturally we don don't really need alcohol to boost our personalities. Not at all, dude.

All I need is a vape and a riff. Yeah. It's stronger than any booze I could buy. Shane came in and he did a case race with us shortly after he did that and drank a bunch of beers. I love how you just have Tyler's vape now. I was hoping no one would say anything and now I'm on camera

stealing a vape are you mad at me or are we good do you want it take it if you're that mad let me get that Tyler probably like three pops left that's Johnny Bananas what does Johnny Bananas. That's Johnny Bananas. Johnny.

What does Johnny Bananas do? He was on MTV. He was on MTV. He's on MTV now. I'm on MTV. Oh, wait. That show's on MTV. Yeah. Rome was on MTV Unplugged.

I'm wearing a denim jacket. Frank. Frank's looking slim. Yeah, he is. That fat guy, he looks slim. He looks slim? Okay, yeah. Oh, he looks like weirdly slim, doesn't he? Yeah. Why does he look so slim right now?

Does Johnny want to come in here? Uh, no. Okay, cool. Gonna tour by Francis. We don't know him like that. Yeah, me neither. I'm not close with him like that, yeah. Hey, Frank. He just kind of wades in and looks He kind of fish tanks us a little bit

But he doesn't acknowledge us He acknowledges us like fish in a tank We're all part of his simulation I hope we get fed soon Oh man Alright where are we at Matty do you have anything you want to plug? Oh, just follow me.

Come to a show. Actually, I have Son of a Boy Dad fans always come to shows. Always come to shows. For real? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. In Richmond, I had a couple come out. And then they were like, eh.

And then I'll plug my podcast. They were like, yeah, I got her on Son of a Boy Dad. And she got me on. You know how they say, like, on? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She got me on, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but anyway uh that time of the week is my podcast it's really fun so that's it that's my plugs hell yeah i'm so bad at plugs that was good okay um i'll be in that was great

i'll be in burlington vermont at the end of october when does this come out next week this come out tomorrow what oh my god, my God. Rapid fire. We already got a quick turnaround here. Yeah, come out. I'm going out with Bert Kreischer this weekend, so I'm excited about that. That's my plug. That's my plug for no reason. That's dope, though.

That's a name drop. Yeah. He has fun, though, right? I think so. He's a party guy. Oh, he's doing Sober October, so that's probably good for me. Yeah, that would be nice. Otherwise, I would blank out and probably, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. All right. Well, thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. Always a pleasure. All right.

Goodbye. Bye.