Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Boy Dad: Mini #1

Episode Date: September 16, 2021

-- Sas & Rone shoot the shit for twenty minutes.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ready? Yeah. All right. What is up, everybody? Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast, mini episodes.

Kind of. Yeah. Mini episodes. It's like a podcast, but it's a shorter version of it. And management's on our ass basically and they're making us try out this new format of podcasting basically uh call her daddy releases the longest dick she's ever sucked and uh we got fucking the cro cfo and ceo on our ass saying we need to respond to this somehow it's's like mad men. They need us out there.

It's like the United States responding after 9-11. We need to hit them hard. Sass, Roan, you guys go and talk for 20 minutes about vaginas to counter their dick talk. The deepest vagina I've ever fucked.

After Call Her Daddy wrote the blog about the smallest dicks in the office, I wrote a blog about the biggest vaginas in the office. And just kept it between those two. Who did they say had the biggest dick? Big Cat? I think they said YP. No, PFT.

Oh, really? PFT. They said that he had a fat one. Oh, wow. He was blessed with a fat dick. Good for him. I hope he does bro yeah i hope all my homies have fat dicks i i would yeah me too i would i would like to think

everyone does you know your dick grows after you die like uh your hair and your nails no i didn't but i did look up recently when does your dick stop growing and it stops growing at 18 i don't know why i was just sometimes i just you don't know why you were looking it up no i really i do sometimes i just go on i know exactly why sometimes i just go on these weird uh like phase i go through these weird phases where i just start googling random shit like i'll google like i googled like the biggest ever kidney stone i googled the biggest gallbladder stone and then when does your dick stop when is your dick stop growing i got an idea for a device it's like a fleshlight that measures your penis but it measures in

centimeters but says it's inches so anybody who uses it feels like they have a fucking that's smart they have a pithe that's very smart and they could just tell everybody that they have a pithe pith but uh a pipe a full anaconda um me so i went to this 9-11 memorial show fire oh you wrote a blog about it go check it out on barstool sports.com no don't um it was a very honest blog it was just like don't go check it out and then i sat down in my seat yeah it was um but the best part about the entire show which we didn't really talk about because I wanted to save it for the podcast was. Let's go. Exclusive. Was the DJ.

His name was like DJ Syph. DJ Syph of sounds? Yeah. He follows me on Instagram. Oh, really? Yeah. He's a comedian. Yeah, I heard.

Why? But is his DJing supposed to be comedic or is it supposed to be real? Was he a funny DJ? Like, yeah, but like in an ironic way what do you mean like he was playing bad songs okay well no it would be like first off he would be like he was playing when we went in before the show started he would like sort of play stuff in between sets but not really and then during intermission he did like a whole set for like 15 minutes and uh and multiple times throughout the throughout the uh show like

he went in the middle of a set he'd be like intense edm playing and then like the beat would be about to drop and he'd be like i'm very famous in new york and he said it like three times throughout the entire show and every time i would just cry laughing such a crazy he's stealing your fucking uh he's stealing your lane i know he was like he'd be like it would be like i'm trying to think of a song that they played it wasn't it was something really funny that oh it was uh sandstorm in my search history but it was so funny and he'd just be like everybody put your fucking hands up.

I'm very famous in New York. And he'd be like. To his credit, he is very famous in New York. I think he used to have like a morning show or some shit on the local station. Yeah, I don't know. I'd never heard of him, but it's still awesome to say that you're very. Oh, it was all I do is win. Everybody's hands go up.

Yeah. I'm very famous in New York. Can they stay there? And also, we're all sitting, so no one's putting their hands up. It's hard to get a sitting crowd hype. Yeah, very hard. Especially at a 9-11 memorial show. Put your hands up for the fallen.

Yeah. Let me hear you make some noise for the fallen. If you fucking hate Al-Qaeda, put your fucking hands in the sky. If you fuck with first responders. Yeah, I know. It was literally like he did stuff like that. Really? Yeah.

Everybody on the left, if you fuck with firefighters. Everybody on the right, if you fuck with cops. Put your fucking hands in the sky. Shoot those fucking guns off. Opa Gundam style. Oh man. But you said it was a

funny ass show? Yeah it was good. It was good. It was funny even just reading the blog because you just said like uh you were obviously trying not to give away jokes and you're like he was very funny yeah and jimmy fallon came up and he was also very funny jimmy fallon wasn't that funny but wow shots fired well he didn't have a set he sang a song and then just said that he hadn't uh don't stand up in a while that's not funny no don't just but p davidson did like the same thing. He only had,

he did two jokes. Yeah. And then he said, I haven't done stand-up in over two years. Why do people, why would people make you, I guess that's their

built-in excuse? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. This probably sucks, but I'm getting paid a ton of money, so I decided I wouldn't say no to it.

Yeah. Do you think they got paid? Yes. You think? Yes. I wonder because they say all the proceeds went to 9-11 charities, which I'm also a little surprised that those are still a thing. I think that it's for first responders' hospital bills.

A lot of people just breathed in a lot of building. Yeah, because people are still dying from illnesses caused by 9-11. So listen to the son of a boy dad we're gonna get into a lot of fun stuff like that yeah did you watch the met gala at all um i i didn't but i uh i i watched back just like the tiktoks about who understood the assignment oh yeah who didn't understood the assignment and a lot of people didn't understand the assignment they didn't i don't understand i was hurt oh you don't get the assignment i heard that apparently the met gala is supposed to be which someone i was talking to called it camp campy what does that mean like

summer campy or like extra like uh over the top over the top yeah yeah huh i like that was the theme of it this year no i guess that's what it's always supposed to be it's supposed to be very tacky. And where I think people are just trying to like get noticed by wearing the most out there thing. Yeah. I love how Kim Kardashian like covered up her face and everyone's like, something's going on with Kim Kardashian.

I don't know what it is. She probably just got fucking crazy plastic surgery for like the fifth time in a row. She's had her head covered for weeks. It's like, yeah, she's just changing her face up and like acting like it's a fashion decision yeah do you think she uh like she goes into the party and she keeps that thing on it's probably hot as fuck on that with

that and she's like just drinking through it yeah yeah she's just like eating a carrot through it there's like a zipper for the mouth she has an assistant come and just unzip her mouth and like shove a mango in there was uh i saw grimes um her outfit she had a mask on and i was watching an interview with her and you just can't understand a word she's saying the entire time she just sounded like the teacher from uh peanuts sounds like bane i was born fucking elon musk yeah you merely adopted fucking Elon Musk. They're like, uh... Salute to Grimes. They're like, Grimes, what are you wearing

today? And she was like, Perhaps he's wondering... Perhaps he's wondering why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane. That wasn't my bad. Dressed by Ra's al Ghul. And who made your shoes?

Ralph Lorenz snuck somewhere in here. Decided to switch it up a bit, of course. It's a Balenciaga. So that was weird as fuck. She had a sword, too. I'm surprised you were allowed to bring

weapons. It's probably to kill the... to sacrifice the homeless. Oh, yeah. I'm surprised you were allowed to bring weapons. It's probably to kill the, to sacrifice the homeless. Oh, yeah. I mean, if anybody's sacrificing the homeless. But I mean. Think about, yeah, think about that museum that only they can go to. Yeah. Tough, tough, tough times for AOC.

But. I think she should honestly be executed for pulling a sick stunt like that. She just has a fucking set of nerves. Tax the rich. I think they should tax the homeless. Honestly. I think they should up the homeless taxes to 50%. They should just have to give half of what they make.

There should be someone at the end of the day who just goes around and whatever they panhandle, they should just have fucking skimming off the top they should remake american psycho with aoc she like leaves the met gala with her uh tax the rich thing on and then she goes and just like acts as a bunch of homeless people to death with all her rich friends aggression out somehow it's like her and bella hadid disgusting dress off of me her and gg hadid hanging out the window like the joker like fucking shaking their hair out into the fucking crowd as soon as as soon as they get into like the secret party she like rips off her dress and it reveals like a kill the homeless dress underneath it they walk away away like cat woman yeah and fucking just throw it right into the dumpster as they're just fucking eating live

food off of fucking naked homeless people. Yeah. I mean, apparently there's some, like, people say there's an Illuminati ritual at the Met Gala. Really? Where they praise the devil. It makes a lot of sense. Lenny Ball has accused me of having Illuminati shorts. He said these shorts look like Illuminati shorts.

It's like, bro, what? They're fucking shorts. Yeah, they don't. It doesn't look like there's anything that... They're champion. There's nothing Illuminati. I'm not fucking Illuminati shorts. It's like, bro, what? They're fucking shorts. Yeah, they don't. Doesn't look like there's anything that. They're champion. There's nothing. I'm not fucking Illuminati, Glennie. There's nothing wrong with champion. The fuck is he talking about, bro? It's very fucked up to call me.

I'm surprised Trump wasn't there. Probably was. They probably just snuck him in through the back. What if he was Kim Kardashian? And like Kim Kardashian took the back what if he was kim kardashian and like kim kardashian took off her mask and it was just trump underneath that's a great time conspiracy kim kardashian has been trump the entire time how do you go to something like that like with like all that stuff on like what if you weren't what if it just wasn't it could very well have just not been kim kardashian they said that uh like i saw a post of like her the person

who did her makeup that day like some dude was like posting like like do makeup for kim kardashian tonight really she just wore a mask the entire time that's hilarious probably spent fifty thousand dollars dude i wouldn't be i wouldn't be surprised i feel like i'm calling it now like what if trump just fucking switches it flips it and and just runs as a Democrat? I don't know, but it seems like he's not, like, things haven't really settled down with Trump. Like, he's still here. Why not just get back in the mix and just, like, flip everybody, watch how fast all the liberals just get on board and, like— Yeah, they would all kill themselves. But I think they want to win just as badly.

And, like, if they had all the Trumpers, like, if they had all the people who are super into Trump on their side. Dude, I could see it happening. I don't think it's that crazy. Yeah, I don't know. My dad's like a super big Democrat. And the AOC, we were talking about the AOC dress. And he was like, just a disgusting day for the Democrats. Like he talks about them like they're

like uh like he's like he's in a cult he's like they like what i remember when trump won he was like they said this was gonna be a blue wave they lied yeah and was pissed off about it oh yeah and the last election when like it was like trump was winning for the first half he was losing his shit we like we all yelled at him and told him to go upstairs because he was just flipping tables well he's just like it's like we're just all watching the election it's kind of fun to watch and he's like just really bringing the vibe down yeah you got to keep the crack going you got to keep the vibe going in the right direction because like we weren't like i mean no one in my family was like a trump person but like also at the same time we're not gonna like i'm not i'm not like

screaming at the dinner table about it yeah like fall into your knees like the lady with trump's inauguration like the skies are about to open up no yeah he came with conda forever anybody that stands a politician just has to go like you just can You just can't do it. I know. When God made weirdos, they threw the fucking book at you. Yeah. Like, if you're really doing shit like that. Well, it's all performative. And I saw a tweet that was like, AOC's dress was performative.

People who hate it are being performative. And they're like, everything is performative. And it's true. I mean, like, you're- No one actually cares about AOC's dress. Sometimes I feel like laughter is performative. Yeah. Like, because I'll sit at home and I'll all watch like a, like I watched the Shane Gillis

special, like, and there were, there was like one or two times where I actually laughed out loud. And that's like such a rarity when I'm watching anything. Like if I'm sitting alone, I'm not going to laugh. But when I'm with other people, I laugh. Is that a performance by me or is that just me like riding the wave of like having buddies around and having good times? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I get that.

I honestly, I laugh. Alone? Alone a lot, yeah. Really? Yeah. If I'm watching, if I'm listening to a podcast, I'll laugh out loud a good amount of times. There are podcasts that make me laugh out loud. I'll just giggle by myself.

Don't say their names. This being one of them. Yeah. This being the only one of them. Yeah, exactly. Did you see the Nicki Minaj thing about the vaccine? Yeah. Her cousin from Trinidad with the big nuts.

Yeah, son of a Trinidad. Yeah, yeah. That's clever. Thank you. Yeah, that is a fucking hilarious. I mean, that actually might have been a first ballot twitter hall of fame oh yeah i think it was awesome and everyone could get on board with yeah and i loved the research that went into it too she was like uh she was like i'm not getting

the vaccine for the met gala is that what she was talking about i'm not sure i don't know if it was the met gal i think it was something else it was some some award the vmas i don't know something something like that and she was like i'm not going to get the vaccine for this if i get the vaccine she's like i'm going to get it when i when i've done my research and i'm ready and then like 10 minutes later she posts like a twitter poll asking which one she should get and like that was her research it is hilarious yeah the only research like people's research is just like what comes across their algorithm on their social media of choice yeah there's nobody who actually is like like parsing through like the medical papers or some shit like if you're going to read medical papers you just be on board with the shit in the first place yeah the uh the big nuts thing was hilarious because it's just

like there's no way well first of all there's probably no way that it was from the vaccine. Yeah. He has an STD. He has an STD. Yes. Also, like, nobody's going to get pissed off about nut size no matter what. Yeah. Big nuts, small nuts. Yeah.

No one cares. And no one's really even noticing. No. I loved the idea of, like, him in the dressing room getting ready for his wedding. And he was like, we got to call it off. My nuts are fucking huge. He's,'s like trying to fit into his suit i can't wear this he comes out of the he comes out of the dressing room and his his bulge is just like his ass he just got an ass on the front just massive not a front ass we have to call this off yeah can't you just flip him around?

It's the vaccine, babe. He wears the pants backwards. He just has an indented ass and fucking massive nuts. It's the fucking vaccine. Yeah. I should have done more research. Yeah, it's hilarious. What the fuck was I thinking?

This poor Trinidaddy man. And they called off the wedding. For his nuts. I can't do it i can't marry him his nuts are too big they're just ridiculously big it's probably because all the other women would have wanted to fuck him once his nuts are so big it's like oh i can't that's just like primal instincts like you see a pair of nuts that big you want to fuck them it's yeah it's like uh how men are drawn to like big wide hips or big lips it's like a sign of fertility like think of all the sperm that this man is is keeping in his nuts it's like a fucking yeti cooler filled to the brim with sperm he's also

probably just like coming out johnson and johnson vaccines and stuff like he's got the secret vax he's got chunky microchips every time he nuts it's like passing a kidney stone because he has so many microchips he's nutting out of his massive nuts yeah oh man truly unbelievable stuff um you think we should call it i guess so i want to keep talking but like we're trying to do we're trying to do something short for the people uh usually it's full full long ass episodes that are fucking just like this but even gigglier i feel like that was basically as many topics as we would have covered we just talked about them in a way shorter form yeah we just scratched the surface we barely scratched the surface

the tip of the iceberg usually we will make a Titanic sized boat sink with the fucking shit that we get out just a little taste wait I had something I wanted to say about the Titanic oh it was on 9-11 and it was like it feels like there's people who are either i feel like there's two sides of the type of the 9-11 it's like people who are like

oh i'm glad 9-11 happened like i don't give a fuck about this like do you have any any idea how many people died in the middle east because of the u.s like there's that there's that side of people and then definitely saw that and then there's people who are like like the entire middle east needs to be bombed to smithereens and like the united states is the greatest place on the planet yes and like they're like wearing like it's like fourth of july for them and yeah and it's massive and it's just like well that like we're just about to go into it again after yeah yeah revenge time yeah i was thinking you I want to become someone who's like really, really passionate about the Titanic. And just celebrate the Titanic.

Moments of silence for the Titanic people every year. Treat it like 9-11. Or just like are always comparing the Titanic to 9-11. Or like 9-11 is your Titanic day. You know twice as many people died on the Titanic than 9-11. And we completely forgot. Never forget. Never forget the Titanic.

You got to learn the date of it. Do you know the date of the Titanic? No. And I'm just going to become like super anti-icebergs. Like even iceberg lettuce in your salad you don't eat? I honestly think that global warming is a good thing. Kills off all the iceberg. We should nuke the icebergs.

Like a waiter's like, you want some iced water? What'd you say? Way too soon. You know how many people died on the Titanic? You're just offering me iceberg? Like non-iced water is freedom water now? You want some French water or some freedom water? Yeah.

That was my... May 31st, 1911. Never forget. Never forget. Oh, wow. 1911. Whoa. 9-11.

Yo. What the... Bro, look at that. If you cover up the one, 1911 turns to 9-11. That's real. That's real. Yo, that's fucking crazy bro that shit is fucking spooky all right um yeah bomb the icebergs um we're gonna go to uh we're gonna go to penn

state yep we'll have something to report on that yeah we will next week uh if you enjoyed this listen to the earlier episode this week yeah or yeah just tell your friends it's a good one it's with KB No Swag yeah from Barstool Sports he's fucking dope

yeah he's the reason both of us have our jobs yep do you see all the people being like why does he does he talk like

why does he talk like Sass or does Sass talk like him I did see that I don't think we talk like the same at all you just both learned how to talk from the internet yeah

you both speak fluent internet yeah exactly all right peace