Son of a Boy Dad - Son of a Slopcast | Son of a Boy Dad #439

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

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Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad free on Amazon Music. Hey, guys, today's son of a boy dad is brought to you by High Noon. High Noon, the official drink of the fall. If you're drinking at home with loved ones, if you're out and about, if you're going for a stroll, if you have a tailgate, if you have a party, you want to make sure that you are stocked with high noons. individual party packs, everything. They have individual flavor packs.

What do they got, Francis? Well, I'll tell you what, they got, they got peach. They got, that's my favorite. We both like the passion fruit. They're fantastic. We found common ground on that. Ron, I have something funny to tell you, which is that I know I've had a good day on the golf course. When the next time I pick up my golf bag, I'm like, why is it so heavy?

And I open up the pockets and I have one or two high noons in there. You sneak them in there. Yeah. It's a perfect place for it. Yeah. And they have the tequila. they have the vodka. Now, there's different flavors for each one. Like, for example, the tequila will sneak a strawberry in there from time to time. You're like, wow, this is an inventive flavor that I didn't realize

that I was missing until I tried them all. And they have real tequila, real juice. You'll be able to enjoy it every time because no added sugar, only 100 calories. And no malt. That's the big one. None of that feeling you get when your mouth starts to feel just really chemically and not good. It makes your joints hurt. It makes you feel bad. It doesn't feel fresh, but High Noon does. And every time it's going to be enjoyable, make sure that you're going to go to high noonspirates.com. And you can find some high noons near you. Let's start the show. All right. Welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it is Tuesday. It is September. 22nd and we are here live from HQ 3. Welcome back. Francis has a fresh new haircut and it looks sick. Thank you. Come on. Come on. Great cut. Where'd you go? Supercuts? Not allowed to talk about it.

Oh, fuck. Competitor sponsor. Yeah. Big competitor. He went to Fandul to get a haircut. They were offering a first cut free. Yeah. Bonus. That's nice. Yeah, bonus cut. Bonus cut. A lot of bonus cut. Yeah. Oh, so good to see you guys. If you bet the Wilcompton Parlay, you get a free hair cut. We can't talk about Wilcompton.

That's off limits. Francis was going to come with me to my kid's doctor appointment this morning. Really? I wanted him to come so bad. That would have been awesome. A little bit of support. I offered to give them a ride because for some reason it didn't occur to me that they would be going nearby.

Where did the kid go? after you send him on like an Uber home I said find your own way I put his hands on the stroller on the subway and I slapped his ass and I said go ahead figure it out I was wondering that the whole way here was like if you're coming into the city to for the doctor's appointment where does the child go he's outside the door he's still here I set him up in a play pen oh nice I set him up in a pack and play you got dan watching him downstairs not dan Jose fin's watching Dan's back Yeah.

Ben's got a nine on him. But no, he was, well, how are you planning to get us to the doctor's appointment? I was going to, I would have come and picked you up my car and then brought you to the doctor and then presumably gone on my way to my haircut. Where would my jit have sat? Your child? Yeah. These are the types of things that someone without any prospects or a seed of my own,

overlooks. I don't have a child seat in my car. We need to get you on. Yeah, I know. Yeah. It's all I think about. You should have four child seats, passenger seat, everything, all boosters. You should be sitting in a child seat in the front seat. Yeah, we need to get you a child seat just so they're all populated. But luckily, it was a short walk. I was able to walk my child home, drop them off, and then sit and standstill traffic for an hour straight. Yeah, it's been slammed. Because Trump has to. galvan around the city. It's really unfortunate. Did you hear how he said,

I got to walk my, I walked, walked them home. That's because he has not gendered his childhood. Oh, that's so nice. Just very progressive. He's waiting for its 18th birthday.

And it will choose. Maybe later. On the tone. Maybe earlier. Yeah. They make the call. Yeah, it's up to them. But the,

balls in their court. Yeah. You got pink and blue. Ready to go. It's all up to you now. Yeah, it's just an absence of color. They live in a clear room right now. They literally live in a glass box.

Finn is the perfect name on its 18th birthday. It'll either be Phineas or Finzi. Oh, very nice. Finzi. I can't say I've heard that one before. That's Lindsay, but with an F. Oh, nice. I like that.

Finzy. I think Finn is, I think Jason Kelsey's daughter is named Finn. Is that so? I think so. Jason Kelsey? Daughter. That's great. Love that guy.

Joe happy for him. What did they, what was, I saw a post of Jason Kelsey. Oh, it was him in the, it was him in that box with like Pat McAfee and Wayne Gretzky. Yeah. And the Boston with the boys guys posted it and they were like dream rotation. It's like, I'm going to be one of the worst rotations. Maybe Wayne Gretzky would be cool, but. You know that Taylor and Will are just sitting there like concentrating.

really hard to grow a beard so maybe they can get a third of the Pat McAfee, Jason Kelsey market share that ESPN's given out. Yeah, you need a razor sharp beard to be in that crew. They fired a beer that could open a letter. Yeah. They fired Ryan Clark and Cam Newton into the sun. So Jason Kelsey and Pat McAfee could get a bigger piece of the pie. And all those boys eat his pie.

You see Pat McAfee's smoking dope live on air? Oh, yeah. He was smoking dope, just like throwing a middle finger to the upper management of ESPN, literally on air just putting it just like in the middle of a take, in the middle of a takeaway. It is funny to be like, like he is ESPN though. So it's like who is he still mad at? They fired everyone at the company for him and he's still like, fuck the management. It's like, bro, you are the man. You're the guy.

It's your company. Yeah. Like he is, he is ESPN. Pat McAfee, SBN. He, yeah, he's just a punky teen, honestly. I think he's just like disgruntled with the way of the world and he's rebellious. And when there's no one left to, yeah, Pat McAfee wept for there was no one left to rebel against. Matt McAfee weft because there were no more viruses to block.

All the networks have been conquered. Do you remember McAfee antivirus? Of course. It was that one in Norton. They were the, they were Pepsi and Coke the Israel Palestine Of course

Of course Antiviral virus software Norton is still I still use it Yeah Yeah And Pat McAfee was like Or not Pat McAfee was like

Shitting on like Hookers or no he got shit on by hookers He would pay like Oh like literally shit on Literally he would pay these women to To take dumps on him Did you ever watch that documentary? It's amazing

No They like interview a bunch of women and they get to the point where like these Spanish speaking women have to admit that they shit on him. Yeah. That's what I would say it. I would be an ultimate fuck you to the management getting shit on on live TV. Like I don't think weed really gets a done like weeds legal pretty much everywhere outside of like a couple places. Like I want to see him having been shooting up on TV. I want to see him come in with a needle sticking out of his arm.

Or like doing an amputation or something. Something that's like super gory against anything that you're allowed to do. Whatever the FCC says. Fuck the FCC. What's the FCC even been up to, bro? I remember when Eminem was out, the FCC was making it into songs. I have no idea. So the FCC won't let me be.

Does he say the FCC there? Yes. Really? I never knew that. He's talking about the FCC, bro. I thought he said the SEC. He's talking about football. Yeah.

He's talking about the regulations and the referees. Yeah. but I feel so empty without me. Interesting. You gotta love Eminem. Yeah, you have to. He was so punky. That's who Maccuffey thinks he is.

That's real punk. That's not of that fake punk shit smoking weed casually. No, Macapy needs to be on like a cocktail of drugs, designer drugs, like Eminem was. He needs to make a rhyme. Well, the traffic was really bad. I'm sorry that you also got fucked by it. Yeah, it happened yesterday, too. I got slammed yesterday.

It's insane. I thought that fucking Trump is in D.C. with Zohran. It's not Trump, brother. It's the big end. Who? You know who. Oh, he's local? The king is in town. All hell.

Or he was in town yesterday, at least. Well, then what's still going on today? Making sure he's not still here. Yeah. That's why him and Trump have to. be in different cities to set up a lone survivor type of situation. They can't be in the same spot at the same time. I was biking home yesterday and I got to first Ave and all the streets were closed.

And then I was telling them, I was like, you know on first Ave how like, well, maybe you don't know, but you can either keep going like kind of like tilt left and go up first Ave or they go you go through the tunnel. Yeah. And I got, they closed the street. So all of a sudden, I'm entering the tunnel on a. city bike. That's dark night.

I just came to a complete stop, like right outside of the tunnel. And I was like, I'm not, I can't go into the tunnel. I don't know where this is going to spit me out. Yeah. And so I turned around. That's what the difference is between you and the guy for whom tunnels to towers is run. Tunnels to towers. Because he got on a city bike inside the tunnel.

He actually ripped it off the back of a Subaru and biked to the World Trade Center. Yeah. So every year. Yeah. I didn't know they had city bike. bikes back then. No, they didn't. That's why I changed. Oh, everything changed after 9-11. They got city bikes. So I turned around and then I went up to a cop. And I had a little bit of a toad. I won't lie because I was pissed, you know. I'm sure that the cops are super happy at this point.

Oh, they're, I mean, they're giggling. They're just happy that the big end is in town. And I said, do you know how to get to the Queensboro Bridge from here? And one of them walked away. And then the other one, she looks at me and she just goes, I'll be honest, I have no idea. And then we both started laughing. And I biked away. You laughed? Yeah, I laughed.

I was like, all right. I wouldn't be able to find it in me to laugh. I laughed because it was just like such, like, I was like, she's going to say, and she's going to say like, no, or she's going to tell me to like go fuck off or something. and then she was very honest and was just like, I have no idea. Yeah. I'm like, I'll go past him and I'll be like, I'm going to fuck these fucking cops. And then you like see the look on their face.

Oh, yeah. It's aspiration and they're in hell right now. People were, people were really apping at them. Yeah. But it's like, what can they do? It's not like they're holding up traffic for their own gain. It was like, I mean, it was really weird. Like it was, uh, it was a lot more cops than I've ever seen.

And a lot of like, um, white church? No, like I don't know if it was the military or what But a lot of dudes Idier uniforms Could have been the IDF It's Massad Yeah

Practicing Kroffmaga These dudes doing summer salts There were but there were also There were dudes like secret service guys With like suits and ear pieces And then I was biking and I heard one of their walkie talkies go off And they were like keep an eye on this guy And I was like brother

They're literally like they're walk there like they're they're anticipating someone is going to do something bad. This is crazy. Everyone's got to be vigilant. But it's like, we're the enemy. Like the people of New York, like we were the enemy yesterday.

Like they were protecting from us. We were the virus. That's why we needed McAfee. We truly were. Like it literally felt like it was like they're closing off all the roads so that like I can't attack someone. I just want to go home. I don't want to attack anybody.

Yeah. Let me home. Yeah, that's what the hijacker said Like, all right, you can fly it And then I get my Uber driver said it was the worst day ever Yeah, the poor, I feel bad for that I feel bad for everybody right now Yeah

The Uber drivers, the cops, the Uber drivers aren't hell Oh yeah My Uber I were here today I was raging the whole way here Furious He was? Yeah, Furious My guy last night went rogue And he was like just drive

Basically driving in bike lanes hopping curves. Oh yeah. And he just like, I mean, I couldn't get enough of them. He was saving the day. He was saving the day individually. Yeah, they're fed up. Because the time just kept on going up, going up.

But some of them won't even like driving the red bus lane. Yeah, that shit. Fuck the red bus lane. That shit gets me really mad. Yeah. When you get a pussy Uber driver. Because like I'm fine with someone that follows the rules. But at a certain point, it's like, guy.

For what it's worth, as someone who has, who drives a lot in this city, I get all get tickets where it's just a camera that takes a picture of me in the bus. Oh, really? And that's, that's even if I'm just, if I'm taking the right, really, you have to be in the bus lane. I've gotten a ticket before. Really? Can you like, uh, like dispute that or probably. Probably. Probably. Hmm. It's probably a flock picking you up. It must be. Full surveillance. Everything is being watched. Oh, you were in the bus lane. $1,000. Bang. Yeah. Like, you can't leave the house without a ticket these days.

No. But think about, think of all the criminals they catch. Oh, so many. So many bad guys are being caught. That's the relief of it all is that like that crime has stopped. That crime has grinded to a halt because of the flock cameras. Like, are we fucked? Like, it's kind of starting to feel like we're fucked.

Like, it's over. Like, I just feel like we're waiting for something bad to happen. Hmm. And no one else getting that vibe? I feel good. This is the best I've felt personally. No, about the country. About the country right now.

In my life. This is the best you felt in your life. This is probably the worst country's ever been. It took me 25 years to get over the fear of 9-11. So finally on that anniversary, I took my first deep breath because I knew the air was clean. And everyday sense has been like a rebirth. Yeah, yeah. Now I get it now.

I've emerged from a chrysalis of. of fear. I got over it a little quicker than you did, but I wouldn't say, God, I didn't get over it. But my, you know, I'm able to leave the house and feel comfortable. But that's only, I've only been like that for probably 15 years or so. It makes me, it makes me happy as hell for you. Yeah. I mean, your optimism is refreshing. Sometimes, sometimes I'll, I'll say to myself, you know, normally I, for 25 years, I would ride the subway home from work. Yeah. And these days, I'm just, I'm like, Maybe I'll walk. Why not?

Get your 10,000 steps, protein and weightlifting. That's all you need. Maybe I'll walk. Why are you walking? Is you afraid of the subway? No, because I know that buildings won't collapse on my head. If you're on the subway or if you're walking? If I'm walking.

I like that. You should take the subway because I wanted to be underground. Yeah, no, I get it now. It was better air quality underground. Yeah, yeah. There's no mesothelioma underground. Yeah. And by the way,

That wasn't even because of 9-11. Oh. That was because of the bombing raids that Germans would do against London. Oh, so this goes back years. Yeah, that was my first fear. And then imagine what, how much worse it got when 9-11 layered on top. Yeah. Because the first, the first, how old was I?

I was 11, 12? First 11, 12 years of my life. Whenever I came to New York City, I slept in the subway tunnels. Oh, my God. Yeah. select in them but it was different then everyone was it was like a communal like you know keep calm pre 9-11 keep calm and carry on yeah um and we all like even the homeless people like we all were homeless yeah technically that was there's a lot more community pre 9-11

it was an ancestral fear that you had by the way speaking of endless tunnels i watched back rooms oh yeah did you see it i did you see it i didn't nor will i ever so Spoil away. I didn't like it. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm not sure. I didn't love it. I will say the acting was excellent.

Yeah. I thought that Chihuahill, Joe Giobacco. Yeah. Nailed it. Phenomenal. Yeah, very good. And then the girl from the most dangerous woman in the world or the most horrible woman in the world, which is an awesome movie. Oh, that's the one that's not in English, right?

Correct. So she's the therapist. she was also great and even though I had no fucking idea what was going on for the entire movie their acting was so good

that I was it didn't bother me that much yeah I would agree with that like it's like you can get through the movie for sure like it's enjoyable but it doesn't make much sense and then you look it up and you find out it's like about like abuse or trauma like every single movie that's been made in the last 10 years I guess

I learned all this stuff about how there was this 16 year old kid who had developed a web series that became like this cult hit which he then spawned into the movie. Oh really? Yeah, he sold that to A24 when he was 20 years old.

Damn. I think his name is Cade something. And so that What's that? Cade, Corsese. Corsese. He's just Nepo. Yeah. But he I think this movie was like a piece in his story

line, which I think made me feel like if I hadn't been plugged into his previous stuff, then that hurt my ability to understand it. But there's going to be more stuff that spins out from this, including a series. How much you think he sold it for? I mean, it did $88 million and it's like opening or something. Yeah, it did well. Do you think he touches that? Cade Thomas Anderson, you think he gets a slice? Yes, I do. That's awesome. I didn't know if it was the type of thing where you get slaved on your first deal and then your second deal they'll just pay you fucking nine figures never heard that term before slave slave yes you have uh gilly said it on uh he was like when he was talking to rick ross he was like you got him in the slave you go oh yeah

yeah that is true meek mill yeah he said you got mick in the 1853 slave deal Dude, you know how I've been posting these stand-up clips about, like, dating and Gen Z and stuff? Of course. So Instagram now is like, oh, you want to see eligible women. And it's been feeding me on my Discover feed. It's like every third one. It's like fragrance influencer, bodybuilder, girl. So it knows you.

Yeah. And I don't know where this came from. And I'm almost afraid to say this. but Instagram has like out of nowhere been feeding me high school girls. Whoa. And I am not comfortable with that. And they know how old they are.

It knows how old they are and it knows how old I am. Yeah. That's on Instagram and meta. Because I immediately swipe past it and contact their parents. Yeah, you should. Well, that's what I mean, you're probably copying the link and then that's just showing that the, I'll go that you want more of it.

I copy the link. I look up the parents on LinkedIn. I direct message them by paying for the expensive service. And I say, have you seen what she's been wearing lately? Yeah, yeah, because it's all over my Instagram. Are we going to do something about this? Because it starts with this. Next thing, she's on the pole. I mean, this is, yeah, this is what they want. Slippery pole. This is what I'm talking about. Like they want, they're trying to turn us all into pedophiles now. Yeah. That's the next step. And this is just, they can arrest all of us. It's purely Mark Zuckerberg trying to be cool, I think. Mark Zuckerberg's like trying to show off to you. He's like, oh, Francis is like a cool

guy from my alma mater. Like, maybe like I could like kind of sway him with like offering him the Epstein package. He's trying to be the next Epstein. Yes. Yes. He is. Mark Zuckerstein. He's too scared to, bro. So he's like, he's dipping the toe, but he's not fully diving in. They're trying to convince us that Epstein wasn't actually all that bad. So they're trying to turn us all into pedophiles so that we can all be like, okay, I get it. You know, that's the next step. Yes, like what you did. Yeah.

You went through the same shit. Exactly. Like, what Epstein did was no different than you. Like, he scrolled on Instagram Reels. You need to clench your algorithm. What's the opposite of young girls? Young boys. Oh.

I thought you were going to say old, old women. No, young boys. Young boys. No, we're talking about young boys. Yeah. Bro, it's weird. Because my joke that is that has caused this is all about how I don't like younger women. Yeah.

And Instagram was like, oh, yes, that's your thing? Yeah. Why don't we go even younger? Yeah. You sure about that? Yeah. You sure about that? Yeah, you don't like young women.

You just haven't seen how young they can. Yeah. Before we jump to conclusions, let's push it a little farther. Let's check the NICU out. Yeah, that's that's troubling. By the way, I know one of the, the only reason I know this is that like I, I was, one of them had her like high school like lacrosse shirt on. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here?

Yeah. You got to hope it's post grad. Yeah, maybe it's post grad. Throwback shirt. Yeah. I like to wear like a throwback shirt. Yeah. Well, maybe that was it.

I hope, I hope, I hope to God that was it. Because if they're trying to honeypot you in your own algorithm. rhythm. That's entrapment. That's not even on you. I don't like it. I'm yeah. I know. It's what I'm saying. What you should do is meet up with one of these girls in a grocery store and tell her off. Yeah. You should be like, hey, like this is a, here's a local Kroger that we could go to and just

give her with the old what for and be like this is enough. This is enough posting like this online. Or like reverse pedophile hunter. I was going to say I could DM what I'm getting over to people I suspect might be. And then meet them at a Home Depot. Oh, beat them up with a nail gun. That could work. Be a middleman. Be a pedophile middleman.

Be all entrap them myself. Yeah. Yeah. Furnish. I'm surprised you haven't gone down that route because of your lust for justice and your hunt for a weak opponent to bludgeon. Um, yeah. The, that one, that whole world's a little too dark for me. My type of justice is like more unwritten rules. Yeah.

I'm more of enforcing the unwritten rules type of thing. Unlike the ones that are in bold. That's like a rule of life. That's like one of the commandments. Yeah. I'm, you're more of like an intersection protector. I'm like,

don't eat the last slice of pizza without asking if someone else would like some of it. Split the last roll in half. Have you seen what's going? on. What's the, when you're coming towards Brooklyn from the west? Was that Wythe Avenue? What's that one where like it's the biggest merge of all time and everybody's going? Yes, that's where I filmed my thing. I filmed the one, one of my videos is there. Yeah. That exact spot. Two of them are there. At wife. People, not only do people ride all the way up. There's three lanes of cutters. Oh yeah. Because there's people that ride up all the way and like wait for a hole.

And then there's a group that will just come across the double white lined front of it all the way to the front. And if you do that, you save an hour. Yeah, yeah, you do. Like I had an Uber driver who like came up in the far right lane and just stayed there. Didn't try to go around anything. And we were probably just sitting still for a cool half hour. It's crazy. Yeah, you know, look, I don't know what to say about it.

I don't know what to say. That shit makes me so angry that I... Your blood boils. Start scrolling Instagram for younger chicks. Yeah. Yeah, we're in a tough spot. Yeah, it's terrible. Traffic, gas.

Your hair looks awesome. What do you got going on there? How do you do that? I don't know. I don't know what it looks like. That's the thing. I don't really ever know what it looks like. Don't let Francis gas let you.

Yeah, looks bad. What? Yeah. Oh. I had a feeling. I'm just kidding. I think it looks great. You got these kind of feathered bangs.

No, it looks nice. Ken Jack tried to put a potential concern on my plate via Twitter this morning. And he said that he posted a video of a deep fake. And he said that everybody's enjoying this deep fake of a guy just videotaping himself outside. But in the AI version, he was getting it. out of a Lamborghini and had like a Rolex on each arm. You saw that. And he was like, we were like two years away from people being able to make a perfect,

deep fake of you and then fleecing your parents for every scent that you have. Yeah. And that was a concern that hadn't even entered my mind. Oh yeah. And my sweet, poor parents are going to be susceptible. We're done. And that had me thinking, safe words. Like, I need to introduce safe words to my parents and, you know, you guys now.

Yeah. Now. What was the point of all of this? What do you mean? Like, what was this? Why did anyone need this? Like, was there anyone that was asking for this, the ability to do this? Yeah, Hollywood executives were, they're like, we want to, we want to make our $800 million

avatar movies for $20. Yeah, we'd like to make Toy Story 6 in five minutes. We want to just be able to dictate the plot of Toy Story 6 as we're like walking from our kitchen to our living room. Yeah. And just have it be ready. Dude, I remember, I don't know, I feel like I just have this memory of watching Disney movies as a kid.

And for some reason, I don't know if I saw it, um, in the credits or the pre-roll of the movies, but they would often show or somehow I saw the, the process of drawing. Yeah, I think they were showing like the credits. Yeah, of drawing out the characters. And it was like, how many. hundreds, maybe thousands of drawings they had to do. That's all. Yeah, it was amazing.

I think you should have to still flip through a book and like go forward and go backward and go forward and go backward. It started to piss me off in Toy Story 1 when they had the effect on the screen, like the light bubbles from the different camera, like from the camera lenses. Oh, yeah. Sunflares? Sunflairs. When they had the sunflare, they, they,

Take sunflares. It's just, it pissed me the fuck off. Oh, quick aside. I was wrong about nuclear submarines. So is a atomic. It turns out they are powered not by, well, they're not called nuclear submarine. They're powered by nuclear energy. They drop them out the back and they explode and that's what pushes them for. Also, apparently a nuclear weapon's never been used. They was an atomic weapon.

And there's not guns. on the front of those boats. Those are waterpins. Those are hoses. And that's a tick-tac-tow of fallibility by the three of us. I was incredibly embarrassed. And then I remembered, I'm dumb and none of this matters. Yeah.

So it was cool to hear, though. I think that nuclear submarine facility, shipyard, apparently it's called. They're not necessarily building them. They're servicing them. Actually, I don't even know if that's true. Interesting. I'll stop offering any facts of any kind because I don't know, anything.

And it's fun that way. Embracing dumb is the best. It's so liberating. It's so much better. People are like telling me like, wow, that Ivy League education doesn't seem like it's not what it used to be. It's like I'm pretty sure that it used to be Latin. And I don't know what you thought it was. At no point were they teaching the physics of nuclear submarines, at least not to a

dumb jock like me. No, definitely not to jocks. No. They should jam podcast mics in front of all of the people that we think are the smartest people. Yeah. And watch like Neil deGrasse Tyson and fucking Zuckerberg fumble over their fallibility. Just make them ramble about some shit they don't know about. Oh, yeah.

Don't let them talk about their expertise. No. Let them talk about some shit that they really have no idea about. I was learning, my whole time at Harvard was all spent learning how to shred passenger manifestos to little St. James. I was getting rid of things, not learning them. Disposing of evidence. Sweeping shit under the rug. Yeah, it feels so nice.

Like the other night I was out to dinner with my wife, she's been killing it at work. And I was like, you know what? I think that I'm dumber than I think I am and you're smarter than you think you are. And she just looked at me, didn't even say a word, and just like, cheers me. Oh, man.

She knows. She knows. Smoked you. Yeah, she smoked the fuck out. Yeah. Somebody wants a third kid. She's too smart for that. She's far too smart than that for that.

But it's just such a liberating feeling to be like, oh, I'm like dumb and I don't have to pretend to be, I don't even have to strive to be smart. Well, that's what's so fun about this podcast is that we don't really hold each other accountable. And for some reason, the audience feels the need to often. Oh, yeah. I think if everyone just let it know. Well, then they get to feel smart. It's like our gift. It's our gift to them.

That's totally fair. Our gift to them to get to know something. Oh, yeah. I mean, we're pretty much a zoo animals. Yeah, we're idiots. We're gestures. We're clowns and jesters. And then they watch and they either...

Spearing my own feces on my face on camera twice a week. Yeah. They either want to think it's funny or they want to say these guys are fucking morons. Which is fine. That's what we've created. That's their right. Yeah. No.

That's totally right. We've created a slop podcast. Slop. Slop cast. And the only thing that makes a zoo... Son of a slop cast. Son of a slop. Slop of a son.

Yeah, see, see it's happening in real time. The slop is like coming out of this. Keep going. Yeah, Viva will slow. We'll put that out. Viva's going to get all over that. That'll get some good impressions.

There you go. Good. Good, good, good. It's all, it's the collective. And the only thing that I was going to say is that makes the zoo boring is if like the lion's not doing anything. Exactly. So as long as we just like keep on fucking rambling, like, as long as the. If the lion's just like walking around and jamming his head into the wall all day, it's like, oh, that's an interesting exhibit.

Yeah. Well, I've never seen a lion do that before. Someone should call someone. Someone should say something. All righty, folks. Let's talk about Wayfair. Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand-vetted by product specialists using a 10-point quality inspection.

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I recently purchased the Angela TV stand for TVs up to 80 inches. mid-century modern entertainment console with two doors. Whoa. By George Oliver. 80 inches? Yeah. I don't know you had all that. Yeah.

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We did our Bush podcast yesterday. Well, it's not, we don't need to bring that in. No, we're going to bring it in. We did it live. We did it live. You know, we do things a little different over there. That's not a podcast. It was a live stream.

It was a live stream. And Mook just moved. This is crazy. Mook just moved into a bigger apartment. It's a studio apartment. I thought you were going to say into a bigger box. No, no, no. He moved into a bigger apartment.

I mean, it is kind of like a box. It's a studio. So, you know, box-like. And we, like, we're doing the stream and you can see his background. You can see, like, the back of, like, his apartment. And his TV is in a closet. Like, it's, like, I'm not even kidding. Like, it's inside of a closet.

So I was like, we were like, what's going on with the TV? Like, why is that where you decided to put the, TV like in a closet. And then we found out we were like, and what happened? Like, where are the doors for the closet? And it turns out there was two sliding doors for the closet. And he had a task rabbit come to his apartment and him and the task rabbit destroyed the doors. They didn't, they didn't just tuck them away.

They ripped them off the walls. Like no screwdriver. mook said at one point he said that he was lining up to charge at the doors and then they didn't save the doors or anything like that they just threw them out why would he thought they just brought them into the dumpster we were like so your security deposit is gone and he was like what do you mean is like I'm just going to get another guy to come like install doors and we're like that's not going to have like you're fucked and doors are going to be more expensive they're not they're not like $30 a piece.

Yeah, what do you think doors are? I don't know. And he has to, they have to be fitted for the, it's not like a... Clearly, this is his first door department. I've never had doors before. I was like, that's like the equivalent to like if I was like, I want to get rid of the wall in between my living room and my bedroom. I'm going to have a contractor come and blow the wall up.

A demo team. I'm sick and tired of having to turn the water on and off. I'm just going to rip the sink out and have a flowing stream. It's so much easier if you have a fountain. I don't know if he thought that was a normal... I don't know. I still have no idea. Why would he put the TV in a recessed place where most of the angles of it are going to be cut off? And you can only participate in television watching if you are directly in front of it.

I mean, the couch is facing the closet. But I just still feel like there had to have been a better set up. The last person that lived there was able to make it work with the doors. Probably historically, everybody else hasn't had to. rip the doors off. No. And he said that he asked like the super if he could do it. And the super was like, I would probably get it cleared with like management because like that's kind of like a big thing to do. And then he said that he would, they were carrying the doors out to the dumpster outside of the building. And he saw the super. And the super was like, did you get it clear with management? And Moog was like,

yeah. And then Moog said that it then he went back to him. And he was like, I don't know why I said that. I lied. I did not get it cleared. And the guy was like, all right, well, good best of luck. I would just stick with your lie at that point. Yeah, yeah. Like the fact that he switched up on his own lie. Yeah, he's not getting that deposit back. Of course not. But like now he can't, he doesn't have a closet either.

No, no, no, no closet. So where's his belongings? Probably behind the TV in the closet. That's the problem with like modern medicine and like vaccines and stuff. It's like guys like him would have been thinned out. like the herd would have been thinned out like he would have been he would have perish under any other circumstances dude you're not wrong every time I see mook I'm like how much longer does he have how is he surviving on his own I mean I think his exact words

where he said that he was like Ray Lewis lining up to take down the doors like just charging at the doors I was like why why wouldn't she just like maybe just unscrew them and store them away somewhere. He's also like constantly mystified that his bad choices go badly for him. Oh yeah. He'll like do the most ridiculous thing and be like oh, why does this keep happening? Why me? Yeah, why me?

Why am I getting charged for the doors? There was a task rabbit there too. Yeah. If anything, I get charged half. He also was like not willing to get a task rabbit because he got like he got a what do you get? Maybe you got like a desk or something Or no, we got a bed frame. And he hasn't set up the bed frame yet. And Jerry was like, why don't you just got to get TaskRabbit to come set up the bed frame?

And he was like very out on that idea. But then he said that he got the task rabbit to come destroy the doors with him. You could have got a bum to destroy the doors. Oh, yeah. I mean, you could have just done it. A hamburger. If you're going to destroy them, you could have just done it yourself. That's the only fun thing that like in setting up an apartment is getting to destroy something for once.

I mean, the task rabbit must have been stunned when he got there. He was probably like, this is a bad idea. Like, are you sure you want to do this? No, those guys are, I have a bloodlust. Those guys are like, they're Russian guys who, when they're 20, they have the decision to become a task rabbit or a hitman. Oh, yeah. They could go either way. They are all Russian and they're all massive.

They're the most jacked Russian guys and you know that they're discreet. Like, they could kill, they could put like 20 bodies in a public park and you'd have no idea. Easily. Sprinkle them in. I do love the idea or the image of the two of them, like trying to figure out the best way. to throw Mook as hard as possible into the doors. Like in wrestling when they throw someone against the ropes, they like slingshot.

He's like, all right, I'm going to grab your hand. Here, get your gamer chair. We'll roll you into the Irish whip. He doesn't even have a gamer chair. He has a fog. He's got a lawn chair that he door dashed. What? Yeah.

Bro, he needs to die. I mean, it's one of the, it was one of the crazier things I've ever heard. What the hell? He has a lawn chair that he door dash? Oh yeah, no, yeah, he's got it. He sits on a lawn chair. How much are lawn chairs? Like 10 bucks.

Is his back cooked? Um, I don't know. But also like, I mean, it will be. It will be between the fucking office linebacker tactics to take the door off the hinges and the fucking no line. Lombar support ergonomically incorrect chair that he's sitting in. He's got a lawn chair. And Jerry says, in Jerry's words, he says, I have an economic chair. He's like, get one of mine.

I got the economic. Nothing economic. It was probably $5,000 for his economic. For ergonomic. Yeah. That's hilarious. Poor MOOC. Oh, wow.

He's the gift that keeps on giving. He is. It was funny, though. It was a very funny stream. Mook's I mean between the door between the TV being in the closet and Mook's mic just not working at all. It was very funny. And he got a new face cam that auto zooms. So like every time you start talking, it just starts slowly zooming in on his face.

It was very funny. Jerry has a guy that does everything for $16 an hour. Marco. And his contact is Marco anything for $16. That's a great deal. I couldn't stop thinking. about how amazing that deal is. But he doesn't fly.

Yeah, but like how long of a job does Jerry have to hire him for? Well, that was the thing too. Jerry was like, I came over to clean my grill three hours. And I was like, he was cleaning your grill for three hours. Grills are tough to clean. And then Jerry explained to that. My grill is a problem. Is it, it would take you three hours to clean it?

Like three hours. It would take the SATs in three hours. I think to get a deep clean. I don't, yeah. Yeah, I guess. I mean, you got, because you got to soak shit. Yeah. I'm feeling myself talking out of my element.

I slipped in there. I slipped into, I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know if you soak shit. But I do know that my drip pan has, that's what Jerry was talking about. Has ossified. Yeah. So to get the shit off. Because, you know, I didn't clean it in between last summer and this summer.

So over the winter, there's just a layer. of like... Oh, you don't want to let it go to the winter, so then it freezes. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I think there's like an inch thick layer of... Permafros. Yeah. That you can go up in flames, too. Yeah, that it creates grill fires. I have a grill fire every time I grill. Oh, really? Yeah. Grill fires are scary. Yeah. Terrify. Those get big, quick. Yeah. It's like a ball. It's on you're in front of a bonfire. It's bad. Yeah. It's really bad. You got to get some baking soda nearby. That's what they say. Well, that's for grease. But drip pan. Greep. and in hand. Or you could just go fire extinguisher. Except I feel like a fire extinguisher would be just a kind of a bummer. Like Francis's got the short ribs going on the grill. Oh, it looks like he's reaching for the fire extinguisher.

Maybe he's seasoning them. Tastes like foam. Heavy foam. At my old apartment in Vinegar Hill, I had a grill fire. on my fifth floor balcony. Oh, really? It was terrible. Was it like big?

Yes. And like there was dark smoke. Oh, no. And the balcony is like this shared thing. Remember garbage the cat used to like walk from one apartment into my apartment. And so it's all kind of connected. And like for a year, my, the neighbor who's like the flames were licking around to just like couldn't even look at me. Oh, I'm, yeah, I'm not surprised.

I mean, imagine looking out on your balcony and you see flames coming from another balcony. Is there a new post? What the fuck is going on next door? It was terrifying. I was so scared. I mean, I didn't know how prevalent grill fires were, but you got to clean it every time, I guess.

We were cooking bubble burgers at one of my friends' houses in high school, and we had a big grill fire, big grill fire. Because you probably got the 20% fat ones. Of course, yeah. I mean, those bubas, they're built to light. Those bubbas start dripping. You put a buba on, even if it's dead frozen,

And within one minute, there's a faucet. I use Bubba burgers as my charcoal start. Yeah. I started my grill. Crack a Bubba in half. It's like a Dura flame. The Bubba burgers, they caught quick and they were getting out of control. And luckily, I knew to grab the baking soda.

Yeah. Shut it down quick. Bubba burgers were done. I made that joke to hide the fact that I have no idea what a Bubba burger is. Oh, it's just a burger, frozen burger. They were all the rage in. from 2006 to like 2012. No,

there's still the rage. You've just... Priced out. Oh, I know. What am I saying? I know that. I recognize that box. I don't think they're the rage anymore.

Yeah, you donated them to the Salvation Army once. They're the hardest thing known to man. There are full coasters. I know this. I know this. Mostly we ate... We had...

We ate Wolfsneck Farm. Yeah. Which was on Wolfsneck Peninsula, which we could see. we'd go play with the cows before we ate them. You calm them down so they don't have that tense fear

in them. We would thank Buttercup, Daisy, you know. Well, if you put some if you put some barbecue sauce on them before they die, it really gives a nice smoke.

They have Bubba burger like restaurants. See, that's how you know they're chalked. I believe they have one in Jackson Hole. A Bubba burger? Yeah. And are they serving

Bubba burgers or do they have... I don't know. fresh never frozen burgers i don't know but can we look up baba bubba jackson hole i mean it's just so easy and cheap to get other uh to get to get to make a burger i swear i saw and it's like the same can you pull it go to images i want to see the low because i feel like it's the same logo okay see it is the same logo it's close it's close no there's i think there's the fonts a little bit different I mean, if those are separate, someone has to send a cease and desist to someone. Maybe they, this could be their first time hearing about it.

They might not know about it. I thought, when I was in Jackson, I thought that was like home of the Bubba Burger. That's close, but those are different fonts. Yeah, I think they're different fonts. I think one is San Serif. One is one of serif. You don't know fonts like that. San Serif?

You're talking like a Helvetica is a San Serif. You don't know fonts like that? You don't know fonts like that. I don't. Exactly. I'm not claiming to it. Because when I dropped Helvetica San Serif, you started floundering. Nothing I like more than a cold glass of Sancerra.

You know who does no fonts like that is Nick, Nick Teraney. He knows all the fonts. See, he would just never get a Sancerif show. One time I texted him, I was trying to Photoshop something. This was pre-AI. I was trying to Photoshop something. And I texted him. And I was like, do you know what font this is?

And he sent it back. And he literally knew the font. There's no chance. He looked it up in the time. How would you look up? the font. Reverse Google image search? Come on, man. Yeah, yeah. A book that he'd read a font. Yeah. Yeah. Comic Sans. Don't try to put mustard on his jacket. I'm just saying that you're gullible, so, uh, I'm not. It's okay, bro. I'm not. Just be gullible. No. It'll be nice to be gullible.

I'm not gullible. Should we talk a little bit about clavicular? Friend of the show. Well, not friend of the show, but we do talk about him quite a bit. Definitely not friend of the show No, but we're trying to put Mustard on our jacket What the fuck? You're mustering your own jacket Well, I mean, you have a bottle of Frenches and you're fucking He's a friend of the company He was just here

He was just in the office a couple days ago Friend of uh Yeah, out and about And drawn together and what other shows did he go on? Out and about with a chloroform soaked Handkerchief Yeah That's the least shocking

sentence that's ever come out. That was so predictable. It's just so unfortunate. Because I thought he was a really good guy this whole time. Well, this kind of nukes my take that Mickey Smokes is just clavicular without resources.

Because now I can't say that because of the implication. Now, because of the implication on Nikki Smokes. Oh, he got charged in Massachusetts too. He's getting the chair. I mean, he We gave a 20-year-old all this power. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, this is Peter Thiel. This is Peter Thiel's baby right here. So he'll probably get out of it, honestly. Definitely. Yeah. And then Teal will be like, I mean, Teal's probably going to dive in deeper now.

He probably loves this. He's probably licking his chops. Yeah. This was actually a post-arrest. That's when I really started investing. Yeah. Sleeper cell activated. Actually, I knew that he had done all this.

I would smacking is dead. I would not talk about Peter Thiel, because I'm pretty sure he's appearing on in the slot. Let's respect our potential guests, please. Be on the big boys club. He's coming on. He's doing the whole car wash. Dancing with the stool.

He couldn't get two. Teal was all booked up. Yeah, it's just, we as a society looked at this fellow zoo exhibit just a different part of the zoo Yeah, of course

And we just gave him too much like power Like we just everybody was like looking to him When he started sitting down on like the Red Scare podcast Oh yeah And they're like trying to like probe him for an interesting like answer. It's like all right Well I think everyone thought he was like a good guy Because he like wasn't racist I guess

You know what I? mean like people were like well he's not racist so it's like he's actually like you know like an innocent like just twitch he just happens to be like one of those irl streamers yeah in the red scare podcast they were they they tried to like bait him into saying something about uh Asian women yeah and he was like Asian women aren't gross and everyone was like whoa king yeah they were like oh my God he's actually a really good guy yeah even though he initially got famous for like running someone over with his car like he probably is a deep down.

Oh, he's got that. I mean, he's got that build. His first name was actually vehicular. And he realized that was a little too on the nose. Holy shit. Yeah. Oh, I never heard the vehicular clavicular. You know what this means, though, Francis?

Talk to me. It's time for a new looks maxer to step up, take the place. Oh, boy. Yeah. I don't think that's my role, bro. I think it is. Just give it a try for a week. Who the fuck would I be to tell people how to improve the way they look?

well you're you're doing the stuff like his problem well not his problem his problem his problem is he's a rapist allegedly but uh he he was he would like go through the what taking sides he got some theories he would go through i just i'm trying to no i'm trying to protect us from uh litigation yeah of course um i mean he was charged with rape though yes charged charged yes exactly he's not he's not locked up yet he would go through the office and the things that he would recommend to people to fix their bodies would be like you have to take this drug or you have to take this injectable yeah whereas francis has been trying to better himself naturally he's natty god yeah he's doing it through sunlight yeah lifting sleep patterns like the things like you're an old fashion looks maxer in that you're not relying on big pharma to reclassing create your body, you're putting in the legwork. And that's going to make you, because you saw what happened with the gLP one shit this week, all the gLP ones, there's all these class action lawsuits because people are going

blind in the sides of their eyes. Oh, no. Their retinas are detaching. Who would have thought there would have been a nasty side effect? People's the first drug ever that worked for a problem that hasn't been solved in the history of man. Meanwhile, Francis is individually able to, you are a looks maxer. I mean, yeah, and your whole thing could be like instead of recommending like GLP ones or all of these like drugs, you could recommend like natural supplements.

Natty maxing. Yeah. What about, oh, have you considered just maybe a magnesium before bed, you know, tone down that puffing a little bit. Get some more deep, get a deep sleep. Yeah, I guess. Do you take suppies? No. What are that?

What do you mean? Like protein? Or no, no, like, um. Like zinc or oil of oregano or anything, any of that shit. Some fish oil. Fish oil. But that's for my, that's for my cholesterol issue. Yeah.

I'm on B12 right now. Nice. Yeah. Just started working that into my stack. Good. Yeah. Do you ever try oil of oregano? Of course.

Many times, great for the stomach acid, actually. Yeah. Anytime that I feel like I might be about to get sick, I'll throw some oil of oregano in the mix. Very nice. I believe oil of oregano is one that you have to take consistently, though. for it to work properly not for me brother i don't think it's like a one and it's not like adville no for me it's one and done it's a palliative like i like you just take it and you immediately feel the effects of it it beats it knocks out the sickness yeah no it punches the

insides and just moving because they're just gliding yeah i think that um all of those supplements that's huberman huberman was like the well no i have a very short stack I'm saying the fact that people take zinc and stuff like that, that's Huberman's version of looks maxing, body maxing. Francis is even more of a throwback where it's just like you're just, we're working out kneading right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, occasionally I'll drop a subtle hint to someone about how they can improve their diet. Yeah.

Like recently I was with this overweight girl and instead of using butter for sex, we used olive oil. Oh, very nice. Yeah. Very nice. And she got the hint. I think olive oil is actually more calories, though. But they're good calories. True.

Healthy fats. Yeah. We need those. Yeah, not Crisco. I'll tell you what, though. I did miss the butter I typically used to get things going. Nothing works like butter. I can't believe it's not butter.

You guys ever fuck with that, the spray? Fuck with it. I can't believe it. No, not that way. Not Francis's way. I don't know what happened. I'll just spray some pam on my dick. Yeah.

Some avocado oil. Lower burning temps. Yeah, the smoke points better because all the friction. Speaking of friction, I've been trying to kind of do a little bit of research on our fire starting thing. I think this is going to be really difficult. Starting a fire with just nothing. Like that's going to take us. hours. Great. Maybe days. Great. Like it might be one of those things where like, I'm going to have to

sleep on it. See if things are drier in the morning. I'm excited for it, man. I really think 20 seconds to over 30 minutes. That's fine. Come on. That's if you have the perfect form and know how to do it. Well, it says it's 20 seconds to over 30 minutes depending entirely on your experience level. So that means someone who's an expert does it in 20 seconds, we're going to do it in over 30 minutes. Now that's a pretty big range. 20 seconds. Over 30 minutes means once 3101 starts, it could go any time after that. It says they have 30 minutes to hours for beginners.

And there's a chance that you just never get it. Well, and that's what's going to happen to you. No, there's a chance that both of us never get it. Then we're going to be very sore. I might bring just a little tiny capsule of, like, lighter fluid. Don't you dare. Yeah, I'm going to under your tongue. Yeah, you're not going to know. Like a Nazi at Nuremberg.

I'm going to put it in a little Vizien bottle. I'm going to scrape off a little of my drip pan. It just tosses your pocket. Bottle one bubbleburger. You don't even need to. You know that? Is it true? I'm asking this as a question. He's asking guys. I'm just asking.

Is it true that on construction sites, Harry, bear with me, please. When you get wet rags that are, you know, soaked in sort of whatever fucking paint thinner, and you leave them in a bucket together that they can actually combust and create fires, and that's how very often... I have no idea.

Construction sites burn down. I'd assume something needs to light them. Oh, no. Yes, rags soaked with paint thinner or oil-based finishes can spontaneously. Combust and Catch Fire if they are left in a pile. Isn't that crazy? Because of trapped heat.

So Harry, what that means is that you need to let your clothing pile breathe. Yeah, definitely. Because that thing's going to go up in flames. I mean, I did. I literally spilled a whole thing of paint thinner on it this morning accidentally. Because I was trying to take down the paint on my walls. Mook gave me the idea. I said, you know what you should do?

You should paint that whole apartment. Get a fresh layer of paint on it. Have you guys ever actually spilled paint? No. At my, right out of college, my buddy bought a fixer upper house that he and his dad were working on. And we got shit-faced, just coming back from the bars. It was in Mani Yunk. And one of us, somebody, probably me, spilled an entire bucket of white paint on his new countertops.

Everything was like shitty in the countertops for the first thing to get put in. and his dad was coming with him at 7 a.m. to fix or to fix up the house to work on the house. And we were all sleeping upstairs. We'd probably gone to bed like two hours before. And he came in fucking screaming at all of us and just made everybody get up simultaneously like six dudes. Yeah. Just like fucking scrubbing doing the construction for him. He was fucking furious. Did you get the pain off? I think we must have got the pain off.

I feel it. Is there like a dude? Is there a certain? and grace period with paint where you could scrub it off? Like if you just spill it. It was overnight. It was at least like four hours of paint. Okay, yeah. Grace period is what is fuck?

So you're fucked at that point. But I think that we got it out. I think that I don't know if we used paint thinner or just if we were within the grace period. If we get this paint off the counter in 15 minutes, we can actually return the paint to the store. Yeah, we take a picture of it. Say we did it for the clients.

and then just take the paint back. Scoop it back in. I mean, if it falls on like, I'm thinking, imagining like a marble countertop. It was, like a marble countertop. Like, I feel like you've got to have at least like 30 seconds where you could cleanly. Just swipe it off.

Swipe it off before it drops. On to some newspaper or something. The worst thing I ever spilled, I dropped an entire bottle of olive oil. Yeah. On my floor, my kitchen. Is it an olive oil? No, no, no, I don't.

You don't use that anymore? Ever since October 6. Stop buying it. It's not. It's the wrong date. You got the wrong date. Did I? Isn't it October 7th? You're probably right. I'm probably wrong. I don't know. To be honest. This is tough because one of you has to be wrong. I think it's the eighth if I'm being fully honest. I totally defer to you. Oh, it's the seventh. Nice. I think based on time zones. So you know what you knew in advance. You knew ahead of time. He had the word. I did, but I loved the olive oil. You got the call. And I didn't want them to stop making it. Interesting. You dropped a whole. bottle of olive oil? I dropped a whole bottle and it was a big bottle on the floor and so I had shards of

glass and olive oil that I was like trying to clean up together and it was impossible. Yeah that's there is no grace period you got to throw some wood chips down on that yeah yeah what kind of floor like a wood floor

it was my current apartment oh really? Yeah so you get all the glass and shit up and then you like lay paper towels down and try to soak as much of it as you can. But it is, it is wet and slippery for days. Yeah. I mean,

sawdust. It's bad. A kid that just puked in a school. Yeah. Right. That would have gotten it done. Right. I think your best bet is getting the olive oil on every bit of the wood.

Yeah. So it's like a lacquer. Oh, stained it. Yeah. Like a sealant. Because like otherwise you're just going to have an olive oil colored blotch. Right.

That shit stains so fast. Olive oil? I think so. Yeah. On clothing. On cotton. Yeah. I don't know how it works on wood, but I would assume it probably stains wood too.

Yeah, you can stain anything with olive oil. You need to get it, yeah. But are you staying a deck with it, though? Stain your back deck with some olive oil. Probably got a lot of bugs. Have you ever seen the videos of the guys that stained? There's 9,000 flies on the deck. Well, you could also just dip a piece of bread and end of that day.

Yeah, that is true. Yeah, on a hot day. Have ever seen the videos of the guys that like treat brick with a Coca-Cola bottle? No. Tyler, can you look this up? It's like guys that will have like a brick fireplace or something like that. And they'll just poke a hole in the top of a Coca-Cola bottle and start spraying it down. Why?

Is this, is this? Oh, no. Oh, that's the outside they're doing? Yes. I mean, talk about bugs. Yeah. But it gives a nice sheen to the, and there's plenty of videos of guys doing this. This has to be a good practice.

Imagine hiring people to come, like, finish off your fireplace, and they show up with, like, six bottles of Coke and start just spraying the house down. The stickiest house. Yeah. I mean, like, what the fuck are you guys doing? House and bucket Coke DIY cleaning trick to create viral social media videos. Okay, so maybe it's just for viral stunts. I mean, it has to be. Yeah.

I think they do use it to like clean blood off the streets, though. Do they? I'm pretty sure, right? Coke? Yeah. I don't know. What do you mean? You're pretty sure.

There's way better things you can use to clean out blood. I think it's Coke. Okay, Tyler, can we get a fact check on that real quick? I've never seen the riot police pouring, you know, hosing Coke down over a site. Because there has to be a Coke enthusiast who's like, fellas, there has to be a better way. No, you cannot reliably clean blood off a sidewalk with Coke. That's AI, though. Go to Reddit. Go to Reddit. You got to go to the people here.

It says because blood is a protein-based stain, it binds. This is because big AI doesn't want us to be using Coke the way it was intended to be used. Yeah, right. AI would probably want us to They would want us to use as much coke as possible That wants to be buying Coke Because that means it's more water for the AI data centers Yeah yeah

Those thirsty fucks Oh man This Reddit post How to get blood off concrete Have you tried Coca Cola? Username clavicular What the fuck? It sounds like that's a hard no

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slash boy. That's rocketmoney.com slash boy. Harry, do you have your license? I do, yes. Oh, okay. Are you sure it hasn't lapsed? It has not. I have two more years. They're counting it down. Two more years until it expires. How did you get your license on your first try? Well, technically no, but yes. I showed up on my first try with my permit that had been through the washing machine. Sure. And I taped it back together. And then I got in the car and they said, can we see your permit? And then they said, you got, gotta go back and get a new permit, which I was like, that's kind of ridiculous.

Like, it's just a permit. You know it's the permit. If I really wanted to, I could just print it out at home. But then I had to go back to the DMV and get a new permit. And then I went and did my test, A, to it. Nice. Perfect three point turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Beautiful. I'm giving you, I don't know why you've been said technically now or qualified it. Because he's honest. He's an honest man. Well, because technically I went twice. I mean, I got in the car. I failed. What?

I failed the first step, which was having your permit fully intact. Oh, I see, I see. Mine was covered in scotch tape. This could be any worse. I mean, the second I pulled it out, I knew like they're not. Like it was destroyed. Were you worried going to be very careful with this? There's only one.

You know, like when paper goes to the watch And it's like got that like outer edge It's all like fuzzy almost Yeah, that was the whole thing It becomes a lint almost That was the whole thing Yeah Could you could you read it?

Barely Like I think I literally had like clear tape over it And I rewritten my I rewrote my name down on it Like over the tape So like you could have just smudged my name off One clean brush What made you think you're gonna get away with that? I already had the appointment booked

and I knew the permit was fucked, so I was like, I might as well just try. Yeah. Why not just print another one out though yourself? Because you need the official. Did you have a rule in Massachusetts where once you got your driver license, you were not allowed to drive with anyone other than your immediate parents or families? Yeah. Yeah. We had that too.

But I think that was the most commonly broken rule. My parents made me follow it like religiously. And then my younger sisters got their permits and they were really. like picking their friends up to go get lunch day of. Yeah. And I was like, things have really changed around here. It's the boy. It occurs of being a boy.

Yeah. No one trusts a boy. No one trusts a young man. They don't. But a young woman gets the fucking... But I did crash the car pretty quick after I hit my six months with Bow. Oh. Yeah.

What were you doing? Changing the song. And what'd you hit? A rock. And a fence. How bad? A rock into a fence. How big was the rock?

Massive. It was a boulder. And then I called my mom because I had to drive Bo home. Did you total the car? No, no. But Bo lived like 15 minutes away from me. So I dropped Bo off. And then I called my mom, which was like midnight.

And I was like, I hit a rock. And she was like, all right, just come home. So I went home, went to bed. And then I woke up and my parents were like screaming now. They were like, what the fuck happened? And I was like, I told you I hit a rock. My mom was like, I thought you meant like a pebble. I was like, why would I have called,

why would I have called you at midnight? When you say a rock, mom, I ran over a pebble. Nobody says a rock and means a really, really big rock. But it wasn't like a boulder. It was like this. It was probably like a little bit bigger than like a basketball. You tried to minimize it.

I did not try to minimize it. I called, that's why I called my mom immediately. No, you wanted to have been like, oh, I have plausible deniability. I checked this off the list. And then my dad made me go back to the side of the crash with him. To show the rock.

And then he just like stood by it for like five. And he was just like, for like five minutes straight. Just being like, I just don't know. I don't know how you couldn't have seen it. He probably thought there's no rock. He probably thought you were like drunk driving or some shit. The worst part was I wasn't even on my phone.

I was on the fucking dash safe option. What were you trying to put on? I don't know. I don't even remember. You didn't trust Bo to pick the music? No, definitely not. I just remember Bo going settle. And then we smashed into the rock and then we backed off of the rock and then we got out and looked and it was bad. It wasn't that bad though. It was like just the front was a little banged up. It wasn't like the bumper was hanging off the car or anything like that. And then I wasn't allowed to go to, I was supposed to go to some video game convention in Boston. the next day and my parents didn't let me go. Privileges revoked. Yeah. You've lost your privileges. Well, there's a lot of rocks on the way from Duxbury to Boston.

Yeah. Plymouth. It wasn't for it. It can't be hitting that one. It's actually south of Boston. What if you had hit the Plymouth rock? I hit a rock. If I hit the Plymouth Rock, I'm in a lot of trouble because it is like pretty much at the bottom of a cave.

Doesn't it suck ass? Yeah, it's tiny. If I hit that, something really bad happened. Mom, I hit the rock. Dwayne? Why did they, why does the Plymouth Rock even get name status? I guess, I mean, that's where the Pilgrims landed. They smashed into the rock.

But how do they even notice that rock? It definitely isn't. You think when the pilgrims landed, they were like, okay and then we'll have to remember that this is the rock that we hit because 200 years from now a lot of people are going to want to see it they definitely landed and we're like we got to fucking figure out how we're going to survive here we got to figure out a native tribe we can kill all right first things first let's build a barrier around the rock that we hit start constructing the barrier and then the fence reviewing we're going to

charge people so we can get the money to pay for the hole in our boat. We'll call it capitalism. We can get the fuck out of here. This place sucks. There's cannibals everywhere. Yeah, the Plymouth Rock is a scam for sure. But so is like if you go to like Jerusalem, it's like this is where Jesus walked up the hill. Oh, yeah.

This is the hill that Jesus walked up. So I'm going to let you have that one, bro. You love that. the tour in Jerusalem. You love the Jesus Hill tour. That one's all you. The Plymouth Rock, though, it's a beautiful place. It doesn't look like it. It looks dumb as hell. And it is free for viewing. Dude, my buddy, my buddy, Helman was obsessed with the Bulls. Chicago. Yeah. And he went to Chicago and went to the Michael Jordan Steakhouse and sat in a chair or

the chair that Michael Jordan sits in when he comes. Yeah. And then, And I remember him coming back to school. We must have been seven or eight. And he was like, I'm not going to wash my hands ever again because I touched the chair that Michael Jordan sat in. And three days later, he contracted malaria. No. No. Yeah.

I had a feeling. You guys should have started like throwing soap at him. But he did, he did say he was never going to wash his hands again. And even at that age, I was like, that's not a good idea. You didn't sit on your hands. If he didn't wash his ass again, maybe that would make sense. That would be tough. Or if he went bare cheek on Jordan's chair.

That's a power move. Yeah. No one has to know. Go assless chap. Yeah. You could just like kind of like casually. Sneak a cheek. Slip out of cheek.

Get a cheek on that. Leak a cheek out. Yeah. No one would have any idea. Just put it on there. It would probably feel great. The cheek has to be one of the easiest revealed parts of the body. I could pull my cheeks out right now.

You guys would have no clue. I think it's one of the hardest to reveal outside of the penis shaft. No, no, no, come on. Don't you think penis shafts and then cheek are the two probably? The ass can come out at any time. I've had times where I'm on a plane where I'm like, I think my ass is out right now. Like if you're on like a long ass flight. Long ass flight.

You know, if you're on a long flight and you keep like readjusting. Oh, it's so uncomfortable. And then you're like my ass is on. You look down your pants right, your ankles? I'm not kidding you. One time I was taking a red eye home from L.A., I think. And I did not, yeah, I had a pretty bad seat. Yeah.

And I was so uncomfortable and so hot. And I was stupidly wearing jeans. Oh, my God. That I put a blanket over my waist, waited until the woman to my right fell asleep. And then I took my pants completely off. Oh, wow. And just sat in my boxers. Were you?

Oh, okay. You still had the boxers on? Yeah. naked naked. You said he took your pants completely off. Even so, that's probably like going to disbar you from getting 360 ever in your life. That

admission. Well, it wasn't. We might have to cut that. Maybe it was. Oh, it wasn't Delta. Oh, perfect. Probably was. Don't say that. Don't say that. That is like a I mean, I'm sure that's been done before. Yeah. You know, the blanket. It's amazing how much

more comfortable. Instantly, I was like that was the best decision I've ever made a plane. What if you forgot and then you got up at the end of the flight? Or like went to the bathroom? No, I knew. But I had to wait till everyone. Morning wood. She's completely naked. Naked and hard. I mean, I'm sure there's been like some fucking flasher out there who's pulled that trick. End of the flight, get up, big reveal. Yeah. Well, folks, the moment you've all been waiting. Time to D-board.

the hell you clapped when we landed we called a landing strip for a reason flashing is an art that is it's a long lost art no one's flashing anymore well the price of trench coats went up it's increased greatly because we were in that kind of post-columbine

era where they were just giving them away for free they were and then the Japanese cornered the market and people like me said this is a really important piece of action and they tried to reframing frame them as as dusters at one point, you know, they tried everything. But the flashers really revived the trench coat. They were giving them away after college. It's really good. That's really, really good. I mean, it's true. Yeah. We got a kid when I was in college.

My six months in college, there was a kid that would wear a trench coat every day. And I was certain that was my, that was how I was going to die. Yeah, right. I would see him in the cafeteria out of the corner of my eye, trench coat just waving in the wind. And you're like this kid, someone's got to tell him to take it off. Like, no one wants to see that in a school. Yeah. Every school has that like a trench coat guy, a briefcase guy. But trench coat in a school, it's like you're, you want people to be looking at you.

Like, what's up with this guy with the trench coat? People just experiment with looks, though. We used to call him the trench coat kid. For sure. Because he wore it every day. Yeah. And he would run to classes. It would sweep behind him.

Yeah. He would do the Naruto run. It was literally a cape. It was insane. That probably felt really cool. Yeah. You just probably had tough stuff going on in home. I used to get mad at him for wearing the trench coat.

I know you bully the fuck out of him. Of course I did. Swirlies. I hung him from the flagpole once. I know you're a vicious bully. Tied him to the goal post. Tied him to the goal post. Pulled his cheeks out.

All of the above. That's so nasty. And wrong. well francis sorry about your giants I mean that was really as crushing as it could have gotten it was the most it's so inevitable

that it didn't even phase me I mean I feel like the giants just came to my house and just fucked me in the face that's how that game felt they hit you with the clav yeah I felt like I got clavved on Jackson dart going through it

uh Malik neighbor's arm like popping out Willie nilly what it's going to scataboo James Winston just going through hell Might be time for him to hang it up Ten defense They should have Tommy DeVito Yeah they really should have the Patriots have him now

They should have that greasy block Got you brother You should play for the Giants I know That was Slick as out That was my mom on O'Dell shit Is Odell still in the Giants? Yeah

Why didn't he play last night Why didn't he get any burn Because they got no one to throw to him Yeah I like their rookie Malachi Fields. Yeah, he's good. You wouldn't know good if it fucking slapped you in the face. Falcons Packers.

Do you want to pick a touchdown score? I'm going to go no touchdowns. I'm going to go final score six to nine. That's just like that. That actually is maybe being just an auto skip. That game sounds terrible. Michael Pennix is going to come back. Oh, that'll be fun.

Can't wait to see him get hurt in the first three minutes of the game. They got to figure something out in the NFL. I don't know if it's like they're paying the guys too much or what it is, but it's like, every game, there's like a tragic injury where you're like, oh, that's the best player on the field and he'll never play again. Like every game. Yeah. What does it have to do with they're paying them too much? I don't know.

I feel like they're not like they're too, like, I don't know. I feel like Jackson Dark could have came back out yesterday, if I'm being honest. I hate that take from you. I know. I know you do, but I believe it. He's out, as of this moment, he's out four to six weeks. I don't think that's like, Jayden Daniels was like, everyone's like he's out for the season.

Kurt Warner saying he could play through it. Caleb Williams was crying like he's out for the season. Like he might be back this week. Yeah. All this, I think that it's just overblown. There's an abundance of caution surrounding injury for our NFL brothers. I mean, that could be it. I just feel like there's too many injuries happening where it's like,

oh, that's the game. Like, that game just ended. That's the season. Yeah, yeah. For the giant. Yeah. Like, that's it. It's over.

I'm going to say Drake London and Tucker Kraft. They get injured? No. Love that. They should have injury parlias. Yeah. Whose season ending injury happens this week. Whose Achilles tendon is going to explode the first time that they move their body during

this game? I feel like they just got a button. Did you see Caleb Williams? Take Caleb's ham. He was sub-tweeting Dave. Yeah, I did. And then he, like, he retweeted somebody saying like, oh, hamstring, hamstring. Everyone's talking about Caleb's hamstring.

Most of these guys don't even know how to make women come. Whoa. And he retweeted it. Oh, he retweeted that. That's actually the reason. Or reposted it on like TikTok or something like that. Unless I got sent out, which I don't think I did. You might have.

Because I saw he retweeted the one about Dave with the guy in Mississippi. Yes. Yeah. The guy lost his job or something like that. I don't know. I don't know. Some shit. Some bullshit.

Francis, you're out of it's fucking delictable today. Oh, that's nice. Absolutely unbelievable. So delicious. I appreciate it. I can't wait to see what you pull out this fall. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for fall.

Oh, me too. I'm really happy about full. Yeah. Today's finally, you know, sub 70 degrees. Yeah. We needed it bad. We needed it. We needed it.

I can't do the heat anymore. Yeah. Are you guys going to? be in the city this weekend? No. Maybe. Because I'm hearing bad news about a Nor'Easter that's going to be slapping the East Coast. Come on. Really? Bad. What day?

Friday? Friday. Saturday. Sunday. No way. I'm supposed to fly on Friday and Sunday. Are you for real? Check out the Nor-Easter stuff. Let me check the weather real quick on my Fitbit. If I'm like looking at my Fitbit, like it's going to show me, all it has is just the time.

Friday's okay, Ron. Is it? As of right now. The weekends. Great ball weekend, though. Take the unders. You know what that means. Take those unders.

Take those fucking unders. Except then I'm sure it'll be fucking sunny skies and 70. Not a zero wind. I'm tired of weather people being named weather terms. Yeah. I mean, they're just wrong constantly, which I know has been a thing forever. And obviously this isn't like a new thing.

but it's like how in 2026 are they still like just fully off? I just feel like it's going to pull. They're always named like Susanna Storm and like sunny skies. There's a guy in Philly named Hurricane Schwartz. The weather industry does the same thing the porn industry does. Yes, it's the same shit that they're just like naming them after inclement weather or like weather patterns. It's fucking infuriating. Susie Snowstorm.

Yeah. Lightning McReynes. Back to Susie Snowstorm for the weather. It really is like that. I mean, I guess it's the only way to get that fake job of being a fake job. It's a fake job. It's a completely fake job. They're just guessing.

There was a day like last week where they said it was going to, it was like a 90% chance of rain. And I went outside and it was literally sunny and not a cloud in the sky. You should lose your job immediately. Immediately that person should be fired. all they're doing is looking at an app. It's just like whatever. They gotta get a better app.

Like, Bucksum woman that they're gonna put that can like read the, the tea leaves that are being sent them by the app. I don't even use the weather app anymore. I just use my AI assistant. What should I wear today?

What's the weather today? Here's my pile of clothes. Maybe 16 looks. Organize my pile. Have you seen the organizing video games? Have you seen that new video game where it's a fucking warehouse of like rubble. And you just,

the whole game is you just have to put things on shelves. Yeah, there's a lot of games like that where it's like people are just simulating like a brutal factory job. Go work in the Amazon warehouse. At least you'll get, you know, a 28 hour. Nikki Numbers is playing a game now

where it's just a firefighter simulator. And it's like, that's your job. Why would you want to go? That would be like if I went home and I was like, all right, time for podcast simulator. This will be fun. relive the last three hours. But NFL players love to play Madden.

That's because they play as themselves. I guess that's kind of like Nikki Numbers. He has it create a character? Yeah, he might. He might. I would play Madden if I was in Madden. Nikki Numbers, six foot five. Yeah.

Jacked. Very hard. He's got the healthiest liver in the whole game. And his wife, Una. Yeah. Oh, man. Very good. Very, very good.

Fun guys. See if I have anything else. Oh, yeah. I need to mention this. As I was leaving Vegas, I mentioned this. I texted the guys. I was leaving Las Vegas and I got my Uber from my hotel to the fucking airport. And I got out of the Uber.

And my bags, I had my back, my backpack and my duffel were in the seat with me. They were to the left of me and I was on the right side. I opened the door and I started reaching across to get my bags and my driver ran over my foot. Whoa. Fully ran. Went all the way over it. Like, what was what happened? Did you yelp?

I went, whoa. Sorry, that was really loud. Tyler. It wasn't even that loud, obviously. No, it really wasn't. I went, I went, I yelped and went, whoa. And he was like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were out. I was like, not only is the door completely open,

but my bags are still in the car and you went over my foot. Yeah. He was like, oh, did I? And I was like, yeah, man. And he was like, all right, well, you know, I'm sorry. he was really apologetic but like he didn't he didn't care no obviously not and he's got another ride he's got to go get somehow i didn't care see that's funny to me because i think my immediate thought would have been like i'm getting paid no it was like i'm hitting the ground writhing i'm writhing on the ground i'm writhing on the ground i texted i texted the guys this and ron goes stay down wait for help yeah i'm rolling around in the

ground like a soccer player who just got breathed on. Yeah. Like Caleb Williams. I need the, yeah, I need a truck. Yeah. It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be, to be honest with you. But he also did it kind of quickly. Yeah, the transfer. He went right over the toe. I mean, I, if it had been over the sort of arch or whatever, that would have been. Four thousand pounds. Four thousand pounds going over that, that, I've heard of this happening before, but I also... You think you might be like Bruce Willis and Unbroken? Unbreakable? Unbreakable?

Yes, I think I am like him. Like, you just can't get hurt. That's right. Unless it's your brain. Because this is kind of having, like, I feel like that would have me like thinking a lot of thoughts. Like running over it again. If I got hit by a car and I was like, that didn't hurt at all. How much more can I take? Yeah, laying fully down in front of a car being like, just drive this over me. Let's do a truck next. you're laying on the tarmac. Just go as fast as you can

and make sure it's over the toe. I've ruined 13 pairs of shoes. Maybe that wouldn't hurt. I don't know. I'd have to ask a physicist that I know about it. I was so at the end of my rope to leave Las Vegas that I just didn't, I couldn't.

It was just like, obviously that happened. Yeah. That's how I felt. Yeah. That would piss me off. I bet you were not nice about it to the guy but you're like oh it's okay yeah he had been nice to me in the car

which was part of the reason why I didn't want to come after him but it was really reckless I mean he didn't oh I said I said the door the door was open and he goes I heard another car door car's door shut and thought it was mine

that's one just fucking and swing the head 10 degrees your left and use your peripheral vision one time. Or look at the massive beeping thing on your dashboard that says door open. Yeah, they've designed cars so you don't even have to turn your head at all. Foot beneath wheel.

Like there's probably a noise for it. I rented a car recently where they were doing that when the car was in park. It was making the dinging noise if you're not buckled in when the car was in park. Wow, that's crazy. The second you turn the car on, it just starts beeping.

What's terrible? What are we doing? What are we doing? Anyways. I'm sorry about your foot. Did you break anything? No. Any bruising?

No. Purple toes? No. My toes are always purple. Oh. Well, that's from diabetes. That's from when I, from mountaineering. Oh.

Interesting. West Virginia. I forgot you were a mountaineer. Yeah, we were, we lost a lot of people. Good men, though. Yeah. Great men. Men, good men.

The best men. it's always the best men that we're losing. Yeah, and never the scumbags. No. Only the good die young. That's what the long's about. It's true. Kind of like only the good die.

Yeah. There's not that many people that are dying where people are like, and it was four of our worst guys. We know, we saved all the good ones. None of the good ones were. Luckily, we hated them all. Which is probably. Probably how it was in like a lot of old battles, like in Spartan battles and stuff like that.

Like the good like, made it and then the pawns were on the front line and they got smoked or were bad at hand-to-hand combat. Just died. Terrible. Okay. All right. Yeah, we can end it. Stop. Stop.

I'm going to keep going for a little bit more, maybe an hour or so. Solo. Solo. All right. We'll see you guys next week. Goodbye.