Son of a Boy Dad - South Africa, etc. | Son of a Boy Dad #124

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

South Africa, etc. | Son of a Boy Dad #124 -- Get free shipping on your first purchase at https://bearbottomclothing.com/SON -- Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Head to https://barstool.link/FactorMealsSON50 and use code son50 to get 50% off. -- Go to https://zbiotics.com/BOYDAD to get 15% off your first order when you use BOYDAD at checkout. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE -- Cheers #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I've found a cockroach in my apartment this morning. That's kind of been devastating to see. Check, check, check. I gassed the fuck out of it though check check check one two what'd you gas it with raid yeah i have raid because i saw

one the second day i lived there and then it was in the same spot but last time i saw one and i got raid and i just gassed the whole kitchen like under the sink and everything and then i haven't seen one in like three months and then today there was one how bad did it spook you not it didn't spook me because it's the same dude both times it has been like right in this one area and it's been upside down like it like fell from somewhere pretending to be dead or uh just couldn't flip couldn't flip that is the softest part about a pretty scary animal and cockroaches cockroachesroaches are terrifying. Cockroaches don't scare me as much as mice. Oh, really? Mice are fast.

Yeah, but they're furry. Mortality. Yeah, but dude, the raid, if you saw it, it made it seem like a pussy. It died within five seconds, literally. It was going nuts for a good one-second burst, and then it died instantly. Did you get a rush from killing it?

Did you kind of feel what Hitler in them in them no i was gonna because it was upside down it was upside down so i was gonna just smack it with a shoe but then i was like then it's gonna be on my shoe and then i remembered that i had the raid right and they crack open and 50 more crawl out of their belly yeah like spawn out of their fucking stomach and then i looked it up and i was like should you be worried if you have one cockroach and it was like should you be worried you should be worried they literally said like should you be worried with a question mark and then you should be worried period that no solution to your problem yeah dude you should be worried about spraying raid in your apartment it's like you know that kill yourself now that shit's not toxic the stuff that i've

been using and i looked it up i looked it up because it smells super strong, but it's not. It's just like a... I mean, I think with that kind of thing, the amount that I sprayed on it, I think it could have been like Febreze and it would have killed it. Yeah, cooking spray. Yeah, yeah. What is in Raid? I don't know.

I think it's the smell that steers them away. I know that's what it is for like mice and rats because remember that spray that we use has that like super strong like cinnamon smell yeah yeah cockroaches hate cinnamon well no though you won't catch a cockroach at a cinnabon that's what it was for mice like the smell steers them away yeah mice they think they think cinnabon is stinky as hell yeah we. Or fucking ante-ants. Should we start? I feel like we started.

Let's keep that. Oh, okay. I feel like that was very illuminative for me. A quick clap. I think the podcasting is usually much better than that. It's a master class, brother. I didn't even know we were going. I was just having a genuine conversation about the mice.

Or not mice. Cockroach. Singular. What is in this? It's rocket fuel. Yeah, is there like espresso shots and stuff? No, no. It's just regular, but variety does have that fucking...

Yeah, because like one sip of it and I'm already like jittery. Same. I'm on like a... I'm trying to do a 24-hour fast too. So I've been up for fucking... Since 3 a since 3am just pounding coffee, not eating any food. I'm vibrating right now. Oh, I like coffee. It's just, I wish it didn't have the effects that it does.

Do you ever go into variety? The one down the block? No, it is. I don't like going to coffee places in New York. It's like the young professional like hub. It's ground zero. Then you walk in and it feels like you're not supposed to be there yeah everyone fucking stares at you just uh white dudes at cornrows and fucking cool tattoos jeffrey's one is the one that i steer clear of jeffrey is nothing

compared to variety but jeffrey's logo isn't jeffrey's logo logo pisses me off it's like horn-rimmed Buddy Holly glasses. It's like a hipster, yeah. It's like a dude with like a... I don't even know what... A coif. Yeah, a coif. A coif.

And then like sunglasses, and then glasses, hipster glasses. That's crazy that that's who they're trying to attract and they just fucking say it out in the open like that. Yeah.

But Variety is even more. It's like the CEO of that fucking, that brand of human being. Yeah. It's fucking nasty over there well let's get down to the brass tacks yes south africa yes dude let's talk about the plane bro you did facetime me from the plane on the way out there yeah was it the same on the way back no they they uh they were in coach they had me in the fucking yeah underneath the plane might

as well have been where were you actually at in the in the not first class section they fucking they all that we spent the last couple episodes sucking delta's fucking cock then they fucked you it went limp in my mouth dude i was looking up i was looking up uh yesterday how you can get to diamond and you have to have you have to do over 60 flights in one year. Or 125,000 miles. Yeah, and you have to spend, what was it, $30,000? But I don't think you have to do all of that. No, you do. It's just one of them.

It's only one of them. No, you got to do, oh, for Diamond? You could get the 125,000 miles and just be good. That's insane. But I'm still, I looked it up. I'm not halfway there, and I just went to Africa. Yeah, I was looking it up. They make it impossible.

Yeah, I'm not even close. I'm still not Africa. Yeah, I was looking at mine. They make it impossible. Yeah, I'm not even close. I'm still not even close to silver. But they lie to you. They lie to you about being able to use these fucking upgrades. On the way back, they're just like, no, it didn't wind up being available. What? They probably would rather just give it to someone who's willing to pay $25,000 for the seat than someone who wants to upgrade for it.

Definitely someone who wants it for free. Trying to find the biggest loopholes and they're like no fucking idiot yeah it was still sweet on the way out there i facetimed you because i didn't even have anyone to like share in the joy of it with without seeming like bragging and i thought i was like sass is my is my one true confidant as far as plain appreciation in this world and you look pissed when i facetime you well it was insane. I mean, you had a whole room. But you gave me no,

you weren't like, yeah, that's fucking awesome, buddy. I was also completely naked when you FaceTimed me. Yeah. And all I saw was a fucking reflection of what I can only assume was a fucking cabbage of a dick.

Round. Like a fucking 16-inch softball. Did you see Burt Kreischer's dick? I saw Burtreischer's dick i was just gonna bring that up that can't that that wasn't that wasn't his dick yes it was it was a penis that it was it wasn't his dick i was talking about that with someone else and they were like yeah no i don't think that's his dick it's like have you guys ever seen a dick it wasn't this don't go like that dude it was huge i watched he's got a fucking hammer no that wasn't it that was artificially fucking you have you seen it dude he was mad so how was it on instagram it wasn't on instagram was it yes it was that's where i saw it was on

instagram which makes me think that it's fucking fake dude but i think it was because you got to like i had to i zoomed in of course of course yeah that's whatever everyone was talking shit to me because i zoomed in but also i saw it and i was like is that a dick and then i zoomed in. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Of course. That's what everyone was talking shit to me because I zoomed in. But also I saw it and I was like, is that a dick? And then I zoomed in. I was like, that is fully a penis. I don't think it fully was, though. I think that it was the same prosthetic that they used in episode one of White Lotus season two. No, because then he posted a drone footage of like they were doing like promo for the Gorge show that they did.

And it went like through his legs and they had to put an emoji over it yeah because that's probably was his actual tiny penis no dude he has a massive dick no he has a team of fucking cgi workers he has all of you because it was so blatant that the that it wasn't supposed to be in that photo no it was what do you mean blatant that it wasn't it definitely was not supposed to be cock it's uncircumcised. Yeah. It's definitely uncircumcised. Is that confirmed? I don't know. I haven't talked to him ever. I don't know about it. I don't know about his penis. Yo, man, was that cock real? Yo, Bert,

was that cock real? Big fan of the machine story. It was 100% real. And it is. It's uncircumcised. No, it's not. It's like a... Dicks don't hang like that. It's like a lengthy uncircumcision. I saw Lane of the Plug sex tape, bro. Dicks aren't like that. He's got an extra inch of uncircumcised. No, it's not. Dicks don't hang like that. It's like a lengthy uncircumcision. I saw Elena the Plug sex tape, bro. Dicks aren't like that.

He's got an extra inch of uncircumcision. Yeah. It's just like a big turtle. Like the top of a balloon. Yeah. Just a fucking sleeve. Just a fucking big sweater sleeve hanging off the end of that. That was not real, bro.

There's no way that his... Because he wouldn't be able to wear pants. I don't think he does wear pants. He walks around in underwear. No. I've seen him in every manner of fucking bathing suit, shorts. But he always wears underwear, and he has to put shit over the bulge

because his dick is so big. That's not true. We would have heard about this beforehand. I don't think it's that shocking of a thing that Burt Kreischer has a big dick. He's a massive person. Everything on him is big. he just has a big belly actually he strikes me as a i know offense to him but he strikes me as a tiny guy tiny dick guy he is a mat i mean we saw it we

saw the dick i don't know why we're like yeah but you're it's more it's more telling of you that you saw his penis and now you're convinced that it's fake. But you photoshopped fake body parts on yourself before. Why do you think it's impossible for a dude who has a social team of 30 people to do that? I don't think Burt was I don't think that was running through his head. It was like, we gotta photoshop my dick into this. I don't think he does like the same type of tweets

that I did when I was 16 years old. Maybe. I'm saying one of his young savants on his team might be crafting some shit like that maybe i don't know in 2015 burke kreiser said i killed a lion before i was circumcised so uncircum wait before he was circumcised he said i mean that's a funny joke i feel like if you really... I mean, we saw his penis and it's not circumcised.

So he's probably running a bit. That's definitely a funny bit. Burt Kreischer's dick is not real. No, dude. Do you remember how old you were when you found out that Burt Kreischer's dick wasn't real? Your parents had to sit you down? I'm sure they'll talk about it somewhere. You think it's a mountain? Do don't think it's a mountain.

You think it's a mountain? Yeah, I think it's a mountain. Do you guys know, have you guys ever seen a dick before? No, it looks like a shadow. And it wouldn't be all the way. In what way does that look like a shadow?

Dude, for it to be over all the way to the left like that, it would have to be hooked like Gonzo's nose. It would have to go, it would have to protrude a full foot

and then go down two full feet. Harry, have you ever seen a dick before? I don't think you guys have. It's a full feet um harry have you ever seen a dick i don't think you guys have it's a shadow of a mountain you guys ever seen a mountain have you have you seen what a mountain looks like have you seen the colorized picture of harry houdini's dick no tiny it's like it's so small it like goes up it's like a light switch slicked on that's like what dicks look like but you gotta find him back in the day. Well, you got to find him back in the day before humans evolved 100 years ago.

Having dicks longer than a half centimeter. You got to see Harry. I think I have. I think I have seen it. It's like, like, it looks like a piece of bubble wrap. Yeah. Like, it looks like one of those, like, poppers that, like, you push down and they jump up two feet. Oh, wow.

Wow. Wow. Why is that such a clear photo i think yeah yeah it has to be that is a an outie belly button and he's sackless i mean do you when you're getting when you're chained up ready to submerge yourself into water that you might die in it's probably you're probably the smallest penis you could possibly have is in that scenario i think it's the other way around i think his dick is so small that he's like chain me up and throw me in the ocean if i get out i don't care i have a fucking pimple for a penis you know he died

because he got punched in the stomach yeah which is crazy because that dude who we just saw in that picture is very muscular yeah i know but he died like a couple like a day later or like maybe hours later yeah that's like what people say if you get choked you can die like in your sleep like later really yeah wait what like uh like uh if you get choked if you know if you get like choked hard you can like live and then in your sleep you can die. Should we try it? No. I don't want to try that at all. Putting the hands up to the fucking neck. Yeah, some shit like that.

Like they did on my football team in sixth grade. Did they do that to you? Oh, no. All the kids did it. And I told them. Oh, when you would get a buzz from that. Yeah. You would pass out and shit like that. It would be hilarious if one of those fucking idiots died.

And I was right. They probably did. And I told them. My mommy told my family. They probably did. And I told them my mommy. Yeah. I told my family. So South Africa. Bro, they fucking, the lions bite down on the face of the fucking, of the buffalo to kill it.

And they suffocate it. Yeah. That's how they kill it. They don't fucking rip its fucking throat out. They fucking bite down on its mouth to fucking suffocate it. Our buffaloes, buffaloes are pretty slow, right? Compared to a lion. I mean, compared to a lion,

but it's like a pack of lions. I don't know. I saw so much. They're kind of assholes, aren't they? Who? Lions. They roll up with like a pack of like 30 of them. Yeah, I mean,

like they're trying to win. Yeah. It's like literally kill or be killed. They sleep for like 20 hours a day. The lions I saw weren't sleeping. Maybe the males do. The male was lazy as fuck. Yeah. It's like literally kill or be killed. They sleep for like 20 hours a day. The lions I saw weren't sleeping. Maybe the males do. The male was lazy as fuck. Yeah.

The male was just this fucking slovenly piece of shit. Yeah. Let the women do the dirty work. Let the women fucking. That's like an old like motivational quote, like that lion sleep for 20 hours a day, but they have a really productive four hours. Yeah. That's like an old one.

They're like a depressed teen. Yeah. They fucking crush it on Val a really productive four hours yeah that's like an old one they're like a depressed teen yeah yeah they fucking crush it on valorant for four hours and fucking get back to business dude they said the female lions will fuck as many males as possible even when they're pregnant because the males come from uh like pride to pride and they kill all the kids that aren't theirs so the females to counteract this they have as many kids as they can no they'll fuck as many lions when they're pregnant so they're like we don't know if it's we don't know if it's ours we don't know whose it is that's super interesting how weird how fucking slutty is that yeah that's crazy these slut whore fucking lions not to shame them i mean it's their way of uh staying alive that's crazy these slut whore fucking lions not to shame them i mean it's their way of uh staying

alive that's not slut shame nuts isn't that nuts yeah so this one we watched the fucking pregnant lion like go like she like this young there's two there's two bros that like run the that the little like area that i was in but then on the one day this fucking other lion came in and uh like he was like roaring by the fucking river trying to get these women. And we saw the fucking female lions that fucking prowled up to it. And the guys were like, this one is pregnant, but she's going to go have sex with him. And so is her sister. The two fucking sisters went up and fucked this lion.

Because he just came into town. That's awesome. They said if the other two lions saw him, they would immediately kill him. But he's just walking through to literally get some pussy, dude. He's just fucking strolling through. I didn't know that animals

killed each other like that. I didn't know that same species of animals fought that often. All of them. Yeah. And dude, my buddy who's in Alaskaaska he was talking about that with the bears the bears are always fighting and killing each other yeah they're so territorial even within the same uh within like the same groups from within the same families or within like the same like two brothers like uh we watched these nine

cubs and four mothers four like lionesses like eating a fucking a buffalo we watched these nine cubs and four mothers, four like lionesses, like eating a fucking, a buffalo. We watched them eating the fucking shit out of a buffalo's stomach. Eating, literally ripping his asshole open. But there was like,

Do you think they care about what part of the animal that they're eating or do you think they're just eating all of it? They do eat all of it, but there's parts, there's sweet parts that they go for first. Like the shit from the stomach. Yeah. And the sweet, sweet asshole.

Ew. But there was two brothers that were fighting with each other, and the dudes were like, these two brothers, they're getting it in now, but eventually one of them is going to become the dominant male. And this pack can't stay together because they're going to either fight to the death or fight until one gets banished to another part. That's crazy. So they have no sort of like sympathy for like family or anything like that like they'll just kill their family members it's like food gets scarce enough that eventually like i mean some brothers will will like fight with each other yeah and there are the two brothers that hunt with one another but uh brothers will

like just brawl out with each other that's crazy it was so fucking interesting and fucking cool yeah it was just every part of it was just like so fucking exciting to me. Like we're just going through and just I'm just like literally like tapping up my wife. Like, yo, this shit is fucking fun. Didn't Francis not see like any of that shit when he was there? I think he saw he went on a different trip to a different place. He was kind of more focused on like the gorillas. And that was like an option to go to a different country it was there they don't they don't live down in south africa but uh he was like so he was intimately like among these gorillas but uh like

it was pretty rare to see the shit that we were seeing like once the guide started like taking out their phone i was like oh this is some good shit. That's nuts. So did you guys go on a safari like every single day? How it worked was you go to this lodge, very nice lodge. And every morning they call you at 6, wake up call. They come to your room at 630 and they have to walk you from your room just to like the main part where you can get some food or whatever. Why do they have to do that? Because there's like jaguars that live on like the premises.

Oh shit. Like a three, this Jaguar has given birth three times underneath the like place where they have breakfast every day. There's footage of the Jaguar just fucking. So are they strapped up when they're walking with you? I'm sorry. The fucking leopard.

I'm saying a Jaguar. Classic misunderstanding. I'm a fucking idiot, dude. Are they strapped up? Yeah. They got the Hawk. They have a fucking long ass old school riflepped up yeah they got the hawk they

have a fucking long ass old school rifle no like really like a musket with slugs like this and the guy has them on his belt dude that's crazy it's like i've never had to use it yeah i'm sure he says everybody use it yeah he's definitely had to use it a hundred percent but i they're like there's like a pool in the backyard of the but i they're like there's like a pool in the backyard of the fucking rooms or whatever like a hot like a mini pool like a hot tub type of thing but it's like can i sit in this or is a fucking leopard gonna come and fucking maul the shit out of me that would be crazy but they so they walk you to to uh like the the main part at 6 30 they're like what do you want like a coffee or something you get your coffee and you

hop in for a like three-hour safari. And then that's over at like 9.30. You get breakfast, chill, probably take a nap for the rest of the day. And then they pick you up again at 3 o'clock. And then like at like or 3 o'clock, 3.30, they like get you like a drink. They'll like get you like a little road soda or whatever, like a gin and tonic or some shit like that. And you hop in. You go for another like three or four hours of safari. it's just safari all day every day that's crazy and

it's still so exciting yeah like even on the last day we're like hunting these same lines it's not hunting them but like try like little the dudes get out they're like fucking tracking these fucking lines it's fucking so gnarly uh it was exciting until like the last moment it was fucking sweet why what do you mean the last oh oh until like until like the last exciting until like the last moment it was fucking sweet why what do you mean the last oh oh until like until like the last yeah until like the very end what happened at the last moment and then we lost our guy yeah and our guy was mauled to death his guts were fucking ripped open oh it was fucking uh it was sweet and dude what that one of the sweetest things about going out there was uh their fucking money it's it's just cheap out there so i was like i took out eight hundred

dollars to like petty cash to like tip with yeah for like the the the whole of the trip and they gave me 12 000 of their dollars oh shit and so i just and all in hundred dollar bills and like a very nice tip is like a hundred dollars. So I was just like, just tipping fucking everybody, dude. But it got me into trouble twice. Cause I like, I confused, I confused dudes. I confused some of my African brothers while I was out there, like trying to tip them. Like first day getting off the safari, they had been giving me the fucking gins and tonics.

And I was like shit face. Took a couple edibles while I was out there. And I was like stumbling off. You brought edibles to Africa? Bro, they have like weed. They probably stoned you to death for that. No, no, no. Weed's legal in South Africa.

Really? First off, there's Rastafaris everywhere. Like they're selling like fucking herbs and shit like that but also there's weed stores like weed maps you're in the airport and there's like dispensary fucking shirts like it's a brewery brand i didn't smoke any of it yeah i just uh i assume that it's not i assume it's not either the fucking american like fucking chemical factories that they have converted chronic yeah the hydrochronic indoor outdoor 42 percent with the dust on it there's no way they're up to date with the hydrochronic hydrochronic hydroponic

there's no way they have that yeah i don't think so either but it is becoming like more uh widespread and legalized but i got off the fucking do any like crazy like crazy african drugs i heard that uh quaaludes were still available there. So my boy and his mom, my boy Mike was like, dude, if they have any Quaaludes, bring me back. $200 worth.

And his mom's like, get me $200 worth too. She must have loved them in the 80s. Quaaludes, I guess, were incredible. Oh, yeah. Like a pill you took and they made you feel good. Well, they're muscle relaxers, right? Are they?

I think. I don't know what Quaaludes are, but they're like... incredible oh yeah like a pill you took and they made their muscle relaxers right are they i think i don't know what quaaludes are but they're like that that's just one of the last lewd one of the last lewd spots i think in the that's not so you find i couldn't find i didn't even know who to ask we were just like fucking we weren't in that orbit we weren't we weren't like the fucking in like the in the hood like we weren't like the townships they have like townships that are built of like fucking metal all over yeah they got some nasty areas in south africa right there's some i think there's some abject poverty going on out there i think that there's a lot of like robbery out there yeah i think but i mean there is there were people were like are you afraid like is it

gonna be like dicey there was no time when i felt unsafe when i was out well you were at a resort i'm assuming right yeah when i was in uh or i mean when i was i was just at felt unsafe when I was out there. Well, you were at a resort, I'm assuming, right? Yeah. When I was in, or I mean, when I was, I was just at a hotel when I was in Cape Town. But when I was, I was in a resort in like Kruger National Park up where I was, where the safari was. But I hopped off this thing all fucked up and I just like gave the wrong guy like $200 and he was like so excited. Yeah, yeah. Fucking loving it.

And then like on the last night, I tried to fucking break some dude off and gave it to him. I was like, hey, yeah fucking loving it and then like on the last night i tried to fucking break some dude off and gave it to him i was like hey thanks so much for helping us out earlier and he was like that was not me at least you're being honest yeah yeah i should have just gave him some cash for being honest here's 400 for the honesty for being a good boy yeah any talk Any talk about Rodriguez out there? Yeah. The one guy brought it up. Really? Yeah.

What'd he say? He's like, have you guys heard of Rodriguez? Yeah, I told you, dude. Did that actually happen or are you fucking kidding me? I swear to God, he was like,

Sugar Man, you guys know Sugar Man? Yeah, yeah. Dude, I was working so hard on the accent. I was like, how do I do a proper South African accent?

Is that how it sounds? I think it sounds something like this. That sounds like British. But it's very how do I do a proper South African accent? Is that how it sounds? And I think it sounds something like this. That sounds like British. But it's very close, I think, to British. But I think the perfect word is right.

Because like at the beginning of the word right, they kind of like one roll the R, like right, right, right, right. Yeah. And then it's like O-I. And then they,

whenever there's a T sound, they hit the T really hard. Like at the end of a word, like smoke a joint. Right? Damn. That's awesome. I don't know.

I'm fucking busting up the accent. That's crazy. And you went back-to-back vacations as well. We kind of skimmed over your first vacation. What do you mean? You were out at the beach for like a week. I went to the beach for the weekend. And then you went straight to South Africa.

I went to the Jersey Shore. Back-to-back vacays. You think the Jersey Shore is a vacation? For the average man, it is, yes. That's business. I went to the Jersey Shore. Where are you going next? Montauk this weekend.

Really? Dude, you got to sit still. What do you mean? You only get one life to live, brother. In the fucking sweet-ass summertime. Plus, we're about to have the fucking grindiest fall of our life we are what about to have the most relaxed fall we've ever had literally everybody's leaving erica gave us a fucking backpack she said put the fucking company in there

fucking take care of business speaking of which out of order comes out this weekend this week right does it wednesday, 7 p.m. Also, I zoomed all the way in and used AI to upscale it to 4K, and this could not be less of a cock. Yeah, it's the same shade. You can see a little bit of his vagina lips. It's not even near his balls. What is coming out of his asshole?

I don't know what that is, but that's disgusting. I'm not good on that. Also, I got to throw it in there. But also throw it out of order 7 p.m wednesday night yes and i will also be in atlanta this weekend i don't know how many shows i'm doing it's either four or five they keep on changing it but i will be in atlanta at the punchline oh fuck tickets to that at little sasquatch website.com or at the punchlines website but that is uh tickets are moving so get that are they they are nice except for one of the shows it's very uh friday late show like no tickets so i'll buy every ticket in there no i don't want that people do that people will

hit me up and be like dude i'll buy a ticket i'm not gonna i live in fucking south dakota but i'll buy a ticket i'm like that doesn't i need people to be at the show. Yeah, I need a warm body. Yeah. It's not like the money. It's like I need someone to be there. I need a loud laugher. Yeah. But the shows are...

Friday early is almost sold out and then the Saturday ones are close and then Friday late shows slow, but it'll pick up. But yeah, get those tickets. Where were you at this weekend? Huntsville. Huntsville? Alabama. Now who's taking vacation? up but yeah get those tickets where were you at this weekend huntsville huntsville alabama now

who's taking vacation i would not call that a vacation come on bro that was every fucking weekend with this guy bro that was h bill alabama dude the culture like i had been like we went to waco like that's like a different type of south. What do you mean? This was the most south, south place I've ever been. When everyone's like, oh, culture shock, shit like that. That's what this was like. What are you talking about?

Grits or racism? Everything. Racism. They all act like they're from the fucking 1940s. Everyone moves slow out there. It's a specific decade. They all talk about New York like it's a city out of like star wars they're like i could never go to new york they're like it's too fast there and you're like dude what the hell are you guys talking about it's actually the slowest town ever because there's so much fucking traffic that like the average car speed seven miles an

hour that's what you would think until you go to huntsville dude the tsa yesterday i got to the airport like it's i'm taking out from huntsville alabama tiny airport i'm like i need to get there what five minutes before i board yeah i get there there's 10 people in the security line i waited probably 30 minutes why were they because they all stop and have an hour-long conversation with the tsa guy they're like how are your kids doing like like they they know i'm really personal it's like oh they're like overwhelmingly like i wouldn't even say they're friendly because i don't think they're friendly i think that tsa and places like that are like the scariest most dangerous ones too probably like i'll bring weed through fucking any like a lot of oh they would kill you there

there they'll be like they would shoot you in the head smuggling center yeah the fuck is this they're fucking not taking anything like they're they're not taking no for an a they're they're not going to take any stories or anything no no no you still get the death penalty there for weed yeah like genuinely i think you do i i really believe it yeah if you got caught with like a pound of weed you're going to prison for life and probably going to go they're probably going to transfer you to like guantanamo yeah you're definitely get going on death row they're torturing you yeah but i mean how'd you buy this yeah it's like the the whole city is clearly like they're there are normal people there but dude they're also like there's people there

that will say something like you'll be having like a normal conversation with someone and then they'll drop like the most racist thing that i have never even like thought like something that was more racist than you could even imagine and then they'll be like but we're not racist they make the barbecue better because their elbow goes both ways yeah like they instantly follow it up with like but we're not racist and everyone thinks we're racist and you're like dude dude we had a guy i don't want to shit on anybody because i know it's just like a different world out there but like we had a dude who was like i think you're gonna come he's like y'all gotta come out with us after don't bring any blacks though because they won't let you in and then he's like, y'all got to come out with us after. Don't bring any blacks, though, because they won't let you in. And then he's like, but we're not racist.

And I was like, dude, I mean, you just described it was racism. You just did. I was like, you just did a racism. What the hell was that? Text book. Let me look it up because I might not understand what racism is. No, exactly. Oh, that's exactly what it is.

Word for word racism. But they it's like they say shit like that but they like don't bring around because we will kill them yeah but they don't think there's anything wrong with it and then like but hate has no home here yeah it's like so segregated really like dude like there's a lot of black people there and there's a lot of white people there's i mean we probably feel like we saw more black people than white people like at the hotel and shit and dude the white people in the black who they don't even look at each other what yeah it's crazy why did you get booked down there they saw your demographics it's the same place that runs zany's oh really nashville so it's usually like if you do one of

those clubs and you do well they try they book you at all of them who what is in huntsville is there like a major college there or some type of industry like the fbi i guess the nasa space center really i wonder fucking why it's a small town i took like a personal day yesterday yeah his flight wasn't out until 7 p.m hey folks let's talk about bare bottom clothing bare bottom my favorite your favorite these are bare bottom he's rocking bare bottom right now it's a fantastic clothing brand that we know barstool fans would love we because we love them ourselves we love them ourselves stretch shorts they got the joggers obsessed with the joggers they sent some t-shirts through but i think i bought every pair of shorts that they

have in the store they have the best shorts in the game i gotta re-up quote me they do have the best shorts in the game they got the seven inch seam or the five inch seam but if you're a man you should be wearing the sevens yeah i mean if you're burt kreischer you're hanging out of either one of them so it really doesn't matter no you might need a 28-inch seam if you're him. But they're sold exclusively through their site, so you're going to want to go right to the store for premium quality shorts and tees for much less than all these big legacy brands.

You can get free shipping on your first purchase. All you got to do is go to barebottomclothing.com slash sun. Get free shipping on your first purchase. Yeah, barebottomclothing.com slash sun. That's what I just said. You didn't say get free shipping on your first purchase. I think I did, but either way,

bro, people... Let's talk about GameTime, the exclusive ticket partner of Barstool Sports, created by fans for fans. GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows. And they guarantee the lowest price. I am going to Drake this week. Ron and I are going to Drake and 21 Savage this week with GameTime.

I literally did get mine through GameTime. I 100%. I will get mine through GameTime as well. 21, can you do something for me?. 21. Can you do something for me? Game time, can you do something for me? It's possible with the game time app, the biggest last minute price drops can be found on the seats you thought you could never buy. Eagles tickets.

Sixers tickets, bro. Pat Bev on the Sixers this year. Sixers tickets. We are in the building. We have to go. We got to get feet on the hardwood for a Sixers game. Bills Jets. First week of the NFL. We have to go. We got to get feet on the hardwood for a Sixers game. Bills, Jets, first week of the NFL. Really?

In New Jersey. Wait, are you really already looking at the Bills schedule like that? Yes. You're a sports junkie now. The Bills play the Jets in New Jersey week one. No way. So we're going to the game? I will be going to the game.

But you're adding yourself to the Drake concert, but I can't add myself to the Bills game? I was never invited to the Drake concerts. And you added yourself regardless. And so here I am doing the exact same thing through game time, and it's a problem with you? The whole point is that you get to skip the hassle and enjoy the moment. Download the game time app or go to the website. Enter your email and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. You're the same Uber driver? Oh, and that's the thing too, dude. The Uber drivers, it's like, I mean, that's kind of everywhere that you go that's the thing too dude the uber drivers it's like i mean that's kind of everywhere that you go that's not in new york but dude they don't stop talking yeah that's tough that's like they'll like call a family member and be like i got a boy in the car who says he's from new york city and they'll like be like calling their son or some shit. What does pizza taste like? Yeah. It's insane. That's fucking hilarious.

We had an Uber driver like give us like pamphlets for like church the next morning. He's like, come see me. I'm a preacher. Uh-huh. And it's like, dude, it's just nonstop. Everybody's a fucking preacher down there. Oh, yeah. And like anything is a church.

Oh, yeah. It's just like a fucking car set up on cinder blocks and with a cross over it. Yeah. It was a very Yeah. Just come worship. It was a very interesting

like week in terms of shows too like the most of the shows were good like the first three the third show the early Saturday show was like amazing.

It was like one of the best shows I've done in a while. And no one was there to see me. Like no one. They were there for Horny Batman. they were there for horny batman they were there for horny batman and they were there for they were there probably because they got like the club did like a pro like i didn't sell well at all like they did like promos and gave away tickets and shit but the early show was unreal dude it was like a radio station promo you think yeah probably we got a boy coming in from new york yeah exactly free tickets yeah

but i like dude i like murdered on the early show like i was doing this like shit that i do that like that sometimes does well sometimes doesn't do well and it's all about like shit and they were like people were like taking their glasses off like wiping their eyes and then then the next show it was the same amount of people same like same like demographic and i ate a dick dude really they hated me i got like big pops but like most of the time they were like this we hate you really dude such a weird like you were headlining yeah interesting so what else could have what else could they have been there for i saw you just pick your nose, bro. I didn't. I wipe my nose.

I'm like that. I think there might be a booger on your sock right now. No, that's not booger. That's fucking cheetah dust or some shit. I don't know. Leave me alone. I don't care, bro. My one tour guide in Cape Town was picking his nose all fucking. Oh, yeah.

Like, oh, fuck. He would boog and then like, just wiping him on his, I mean, I guess it's. You gotta do it, dude. Everyone does it. He was doing it for hours straight. Some people have the balls

to do it in public. He had like a fucking factory of Oompa Loompas creating boogers in his nose. Dude, they were churning him out on a fucking assembly line. It was like, I love Lucy,

him like fucking picking boogers out of his nose. That's crazy. Would back do you think i 100 would go back do you think it was one of the best trips of my fucking life really i couldn't recommend it more to like uh anybody just seeing wildlife like that um but also cape town was beautiful cape town it looks nice it's a very beautiful town was it cold there it was yeah because you were posting like jack you're wearing jackets but they said of course you had some killer safari fits salute brother just some earth tones but they said it was going to be 80 degrees so i packed for 80 degrees i had just had some like two light jackets but you got there and it was like you never look at the lows when temperatures come up you always look at the high and some places have like it's like new york

it's like the high the low is usually maybe like five to ten degrees lower because there's so many buildings you're basically inside because the buildings are like creating an incubator keeping the heat inside and then you go somewhere else and it's like 90 and then at night it's like 30 yeah and you're like what the fuck it was uh it was lows of like 42 and 48 some days yeah and uh i i was only looking at the high. Yeah. It was going to be fucking nice as shit. Yeah. I didn't wear shorts one time

the entire time I was out there. That's crazy. I also just wouldn't walk. I like didn't take any steps every day. Really? Because just getting a safari vehicle. Just getting a safari. There's like,

you can't walk anywhere because like a fucking, a leopard will kill you. That's crazy. I can't believe they brought up Rodriguez. I mean, they were like, the guy was, on the first day, it was so shitty and rainy. I can't believe they brought up Rodriguez. I mean, they were like, the guy was,

on the first day it was so shitty and rainy we didn't get to go to the place Table Mountain. He was just taking us to like fucking like hipster neighborhoods and like record stores.

I was like, bro, I can buy like, I was like, bro, New York is the best vintage in the world, bro. He's trying to show me vintage, bro.

We got L-Train. They're actually, dude, someone from like a really like vintage crate digger would like fucking love the shit that they had out there. Really? Because it's like real gnarly ass, fucking old ass vintage from fucking,

that's like actually like $5. Yeah. Like how it was supposed to be. Now like vintage shit is like so saturated. Like $300. Yeah. It's significantly more expensive than any other yeah i went to metropolis the other day yeah just walked by i mean dude that is that that place

should be burned to the ground what they're doing in there is insane yeah everybody's shirts aren't even like good quality shirts would be 140 oh no this would be 300 dude they're like haynes shirts with like a fucking graphic on the front that it seems like they're like vintage but it seems like they might just be making a lot of those shirts themselves like just like pressing them and they're all shitty yeah they're all over 150 it's insane they're like spray paintings pit stains on yeah yeah just doubling the price dude it's absolutely gross yeah the people who are just exclusively buying that shit should be locked in those stores yeah and l train is good though l train is pretty cheap prices is it yeah i don't know i think new

york is just so i mean there's just so many people and so many of them are kind of going for that same look that it's like impossible to get you got to go to like west virginia someplace a little bit gnarly to feel atlanta actually i'm gonna go when i'm in atlanta they have they have some pretty good uh thrift shops there yeah if you i mean i bet huntsville if you went to someplace in huntsville no no they would have had some awesome you want to pick up like a vintage nazi uniform game war confederate fighting for the grays the uh robert e lee wore this hat it was people there were nice though like the

yeah because they're white yeah the staff was all really nice it was a fun weekend it was a good weekend it was pretty like the the friday saturday is the best though you come to the bar just don't tell them that you got any doing yeah i know you think that they're accepting but then they do then they don't laugh at things that you would expect them yeah i know you think that they're accepting but then they do then they don't laugh at things that you would expect them to love that like you could do in new york and they would love it but like you would do like a stuff like a racist like a like a racy joke like a joke about race yeah and they are they fall silent because they're like that's not us yeah i think that's why they genuinely think that they're not they're like i think they're like that's not us yeah i think that's why they genuinely think that they're not they're like i think they're like super defensive about that shit we ain't racist

yeah we're just smarter than them yeah yeah it's very very it's just like a different culture it's crazy yeah like i had been to like like i don't know like atlanta obviously is not like that because it's just a fucking city it's a massive city and then like texas is pretty much texas is really it does not feel like that at all like even like plano waco you gotta get out there i think waco was like cowboys yeah waco was a little crazy waco was nuts we they were like we were in like everyone's smoking inside they're all wearing cowboy hats what was that point like mayors or whatever i don't remember what it was the one that we went to remember we went to when we had to drive back to fort worth it was like with a band the polka band yeah from west texas yeah yeah we were when we were in waco yeah oh

that place was fucking crazy that was like tumbleweeds down the street but that's like that even that south is was so much different than like the Alabama south. Like so much different. Yeah, that was like the south. That was like the old west. Yeah, that was like, yeah, it felt like you were in a fucking like Dirty Harry or some shit. It's like country versus western. Yeah. Like that's like western.

Yeah. Like the fucking flappy doors or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Like honky tonks and shit. Yeah. Country was there. Yeah.

Yeah. The mayor's there just getting shit-faced just groping a woman yeah yeah like honking a titty that one dude played high school football uh because like the coach would give him drinks at 14 yeah he's like that good of football but didn't want to play but like i'll give you free beer brother yeah yeah that is fucking sick it is a different a different vibe i just don't know what else is like like what else would be like that i guess like mississippi i guess parts of georgia i think arkansas really yeah arkansas is like the fucking nucleus of the south yeah i really feel like they're they're pretty gritty down there i know like deep like outside of atlanta i know it's somewhat like that

yeah the georgia yeah like georgia southern folks and i think north florida too is probably yeah definitely north florida yeah yeah that's fucking yeah it was interesting it was weird to see yeah it's uh dude this office is weird to see right now yeah it's insane do you like it i just like don't uh what do you even like i sit on a couch and then i go do the act and then that's it are they trying to like move people along i don't know what they're trying to do it seems like they don't want anyone to be here yeah i feel like they're trying to just like keep keep everybody going it's like one of those couches that would be in like a billionaire's house that like you never actually would want to sit on that it's too shallow to sit on you're sliding off of it the whole time just makes your like belly and like fucking upper

thighs look terrible yeah it's i need a deep ass couch i'm trying to be like fucking lost in the in the couch oh yeah me too that's what mine's like right now it's a pain in the ass to get out of they probably hired like a fucking consultant yeah like a hundred percent 50 million dollars to come through and fucking redesign the office i don't know what i was expecting when they were like we're we're redoing the office we're remodeling yeah i don't know are people hating on it what's like the uh vibe seems like people i don't think anyone cares because everyone's leaving yeah they're fucking lost man yeah tell you that fucking much man i know it's uh um i'll tell you that much much, man. I know. It's, uh...

I'll tell you that much, man. Come on, man. It literally is. A lot of people's last week. Big Cat's last week. Big Cat's last week. Kate, I think, is gone already. I don't know.

Brandon Walker's gone. Damn. I, uh... Kate B and Nick don't move for another, like, three months. Fuck, yeah. It's almost like they don't want to go. I know. They'll get there once it's nice and cold

though right when long winter yeah they better look at the lows seven months of winter they see that temperature i'm i'm uh i know you're a big summer guy you're done i'm done i need it to get colder dude this is insane it's insane what is happening here. It is happening worldwide right now. It is so goddamn hot. Something bad is happening in the world right now. It's just, I sweat nonstop. You've got candle wax skin. Dude, my apartment is so goddamn hot.

You do look like you were dipped in slime. It is so hot. It's a nightmare. I tried to shake your hand. I just slipped all the way up. The fuck? And some dude, like I was talking about that on the yak, that like I keep on waking up like sweating. And some dude was like, by the way, dude, like night sweats aren't normal.

Like you should probably go get that checked out. And I'm like, dude, it's 100 degrees in my room. It would be more alarming if I wasn't sweating. I'm sweating because it's so goddamn hot in my apartment. Then you might be that, who was the pedophile that didn't sweat? The prince of,

prince, some prince. Who was it? And he was like, he was on Epstein Island a bunch. you talked about that on Matt and Shane. Yeah.

He was like, that can't be me because I don't sweat. Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew, yeah. I have a condition where i'm unable to sweat yeah but it's fucking so hot it's uh i saw people are flocking to death valley because it's supposed to be yeah yeah that picture of a drench because the girl gave a statement and

she was like he was disgustingly sweaty and he was like she was like fucking 14 or some shit and she was like he was so sweaty and gross and he fucked me and he was like ah i don't sweat i did fuck you and i was gross but not sweaty okay little girl um run along people are going to death valley because it's supposed to be like breaking a national heat record yeah death valley and people are going there specifically to experience it it was like it's like uh in vegas i know it was like 120 yeah there was it's supposed to be 132 in death valley or something that's nuts what is a sauna what what is the degrees of a sauna sauna is like one i think it's anywhere from like 150 to 200 so you can you can tough that shit out i would have you ever been in a sauna my buddy's grandma had a sauna yeah we went in that it was actually that for the first time i ever got drunk

and we were like all right now we gotta sweat it all out and we went right away no like the next morning oh really and we went in the sauna we said it's like 190 or some shit and it was it was not three boys dying yeah that'd be such a shitty way to go and then you pour the water yeah it just seems that is the funnest part that's a satisfying the best part what's your take on saunas do you think that they work or do you think it's malarkey i haven't been in this that was probably the last time i've ever been in a sauna i used i've thought for a long time that they were malarkey and then i recently went in a sauna and the sweat that came out of me was such like a different brand of stink that it's like damn something's leaving me like a bad

experience just left through my armpit or something like that or like i lost my fear of heights it was i i never had i had experienced that specific pungent odor. There's no way, dude. I don't believe that at all. That a different odor came out? I swear to God, a different type of sweat. I don't even think it's like, I don't even think it's like sweat. I think it's like surface sweat that's like forming on your body. I think there is, but I think it's like, whatever they're talking about toxins, people say it gets rid of toxins or it's good to get though. I don't know. That's why I'm trying to figure out, are you pro or are you against it i have no thoughts on it i haven't done it enough to know brother we gotta fucking get ass naked slap some towels around our dicks

and fucking sweat well the biggest bullshit thing in the world is my cold shower gym oh does not have a sauna and it's like oh it's supposed to be like a luxury gym like dude that's the only thing that separates a luxury gym from a normal gym it's a sauna the sauna and the fact that there's no jizz on the floors yeah and there's no sauna and the kid like i signed up for the gym two years ago and they were like yeah we're working on the sauna right now are you talking about the one you're paying ten dollars a month for no that was i used to go to that okay blink i'm i want i wish i might go back to blink because it's like yeah like Planet Fitness damn near has a sauna. Yeah, Planet Fitness probably does have a sauna.

Or they probably just like face all the tanning beds at you at one time. My gym has nothing, dude. We have like the locker room is nice, but that's pretty much it. There's like three benches. You go in there and you just got to wait. You got to stand around and wait. Sounds like somebody's back in the fucking jungle, though. Oh, yeah.

I went three times last week. I'm going to go today. Probably not. Probably tomorrow. Whatever, though. Just hit the bench, bro. That's all you need to do. Bench press is your calling card.

Yeah, it sucks, though. I've lost all of my strength. Yeah. I mean, I'm still getting the rust off, but it was humbling. Yeah. Also, dude, I did 10 minutes on the treadmill walking on incline sweat through my shirt yeah my shirt was see-through that shit is bad but that is also it is the way yeah it's just because i haven't moved my body it is the way for sure i got back from this trip and i i hopped on or i got

like the biggest nastiest mcdonald's meal i was like that's what i want as soon as i got back i got on the scale i'm one pound away from being the heaviest i ever was oh Oh, really? So I'm like, I won't eat for a couple days. So I'm trying to do a 24-hour fast right now. Were you drinking a lot out there? No, just every day. Just every day? I mean, they said that

it's funny. I kind of went on a run and you were gone. Did you? Yeah. That's how you go. You're streaky. You're a streaky hitter.

You're like a 220 hitter, but when you hit, you hit bomb. And now I'm off. You're a streaky hitter. You're like a 220 hitter, but when you hit, you hit bomb. And now I'm off. Are you? Back off, yeah. We'll go. This week, we'll go to the fucking.

We'll get back out there. No, not for me. Let's go to the Drake show on Thursday night and fucking get bombed with obs. There's a Drake show? I think so. Yeah, Drake 21 Savage, I think, is here all week. Really? Am I bugging? I would definitely go to that.

You would? Yeah. Game time. Show me what you would? Yeah. Game time. Show me what you would do there. Hell no. You don't want to see what I would do. Yeah, you would.

I'd be bringing out my Alabama moves. Line dancing. Bring on the motherfucking problems. I can't believe I used to be racist dude this shit is crazy no new york is actually i think drake just needs to headline in huntsville dude you could

change shit go down there what the hell they'd be fucking shocked at him i've never been to like a big concert like that though like where is it i think he's in uh bk he's in bk all week what what is that like you just stand in a seat or do you just sit down i think if there's a seat behind me i'm gonna be sitting that's the thing i have a hard time staying up if there's an option to sit but that's why you got to get inline uh incline treadmill all week just to prepare to be able to stand still at drake you see that chicken Boston fall down the balcony? No. I feel like that happens a lot. At Drake?

Yeah, so he brought out Tatum and they're in like the 300 sections, which is like basically 90 degree angle, like sitting. Yeah, yeah. And she like lost her shit. She's like, oh my God, Jason Tatum, leave for it. And she fell like down the whole thing.

She was like top row, basically slid all the way down the video stop, but like heels hitting back ahead, like phase eight concrete. You saw that video of the dude with the video stop but like heels hitting back ahead like phase eight concrete you saw that video of the dude with the dude the baseball game with the knees you didn't see that one his knee exploded that one's bad who dukes no no way worse both of his knees like exploded oh oh yes yes at the top of this thing yeah yeah that was awesome yeah that video was just arguing being so mad imagine how

mad that guy was that he had to ask for the help of the people around him he was so furious what do you think he was even yelling about probably some dumb shit yeah yeah yeah dude i went to a fucking pastime i went to a rugby bar for like a rugby game out there i wanted to like feel like the the town and see what it was. And it's like the first rugby game of the season. The Springboks, who are the South African team, were playing against Australia. And it just showed me that sports fans are the exact same in every fucking country. No matter where you are in the world, it's just these fucking bald, like fucking like shitty, stupid, drunk,

cigarette smoking idiots that are just like, why didn't you fucking pitch the ball? Do they, uh, what do they drink out there? Uh, like beer. They were crushing loggers at this bar.

They got, uh, just like some kind of local loggers. Huh? Any gulls out there? I didn't have any gulls. I was asking, but they didn't. Bud Light?

Bud Light's probably banished from that city. No, no. Definitely no Bud Light. But they had Corona. We got a nice Corona. Corona? Yeah. And then just like lagers.

I was just crushing lagers. And then I was doing like... So you never had any like South African... South African wine is big there. It's massive. It's like the vineyards are fucking right South African? South African wine is big there. It's massive. It's like the vineyards are fucking right there. And South African wine is pretty world renowned. Dude, it was fucking fire.

I don't know. Like you set up a wine. I don't know necessarily what kind it is or like good or bad. But this shit tastes good. Is that like that like supernatural wine? I think it's got to be something like that. Crazy shit's got to be happening with the fucking tectonic plates out there. Oh, yeah.

Just jamming fucking. Because it's just mountains right next to the ocean. Yeah. A beautiful looking city. Just like an enclave surrounded by mountains. That's awesome. It was fucking sweet. But the dudes at the rugby bar were the exact same as the guy at the baseball game.

Just like stupid fucking angry ass fans. Fucking pissed off. They bet down there? Is the barstool sportsbook out there yet oh i was trying to spread the word i was going door to door look look how easy it is to interface and they were pretty impressed by how easy it was to interface dude i was kind of knocking their socks off by how smoothly you could interface from one thing to the next yeah it was fucking fire sounds awesome yeah they get it in and then they said that the gin or the uh the tonic that's in that goes with the gin is good to uh kind of get uh it scares away the mosquitoes the mosquitoes don't like it and if you're going to africa a lot of people are worried about malaria down there you bring it back

i didn't even fucking take the medicines dude my wife the whole time was like should i take the medicines i heard they give you bad dreams like she's asking every it back i didn't even fucking take the medicines dude my wife the whole time was like should i take the medicines i heard they give you bad dreams like she's asking every single person i didn't even ask my doctor i didn't give myself the chance what is the medicine it was like a prep type thing i think it's like hydroxychloroquine like the shit that fucking trump was or whatever they're really talking about yeah but uh or some shit like that but i didn't take any of it and I was completely fine. And there's malaria in the United States right now. Supposedly.

I don't think that's like a... You probably find out in a couple weeks if you're fine. There wasn't a single mosquito. It's the wintertime there. No, I'm sure there wasn't. I got worse bites down in Seattle, bro. We were in Seattle on my boy's boat and... You're just fucking vacation mode.

I got to get on a vacation. You definitely do. I got to get on a vacation. on uh my boy's boat and uh you're just fucking vacation mode i gotta get a navigation his you definitely do i got to get a vacation his boat got stuck the the boat got stuck in the mud really yeah it was like it was a full moon so it was historically crazy tides the boat got stuck in the mud yeah so we fucking hopped out and we're fucking like pushing was it low it was like dead low tide yeah it was dude how do you let that happen how do you how were you guys just like we were on the way that we were on the way out like looking at other boats being like these fucking idiots they look at these fucking yeah buffoons went to the place uh like and there's some weird shit down in uh like there were confederate flags flying in new jersey in this one town that we went to.

They weren't fucking playing around. We got some drinks over there. Yeah, it was Trump country and then on the way back fucking got stuck dead in there. Yeah.

But I was getting bit by fucking greenies in there. Like, you know, you know, greenies are the like flies like that nasty ass flies and they gave me

two green heads. Yeah, they fucking gave me some fucking definitely a Philly thing called them greenies. Green heads, dude. We call them green heads yeah they fucking gave me some fucking definitely a philly thing they called them greenies green heads dude we call them green heads green heads they were the same type of shit those things fucking hurt they hurt so they left like marks that are there the entire time yeah i was like marking off the marks like this big it was just it was foul yeah but i was marking them off being like okay i have this have this one, I have this one. Oh, because you were going to go to Africa? And come back like, wait, did it just go?

Yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was fucking... That would fuck me up for sure. I know. I wasn't scared though. Because the dudes down there, they never take it. No.

They're probably immune. They're not scared. Probably immune to malaria. Like, yeah, it's not... It doesn't usually hit. But if you get it it it lasts for your entire lifetime and will come back and can kill you that's horrifying i know did you hear though it's been it's in florida and texas like as of like the last two weeks that's horrifying

it's coming to the u.s how does it even get here someone probably goes to south africa and brings it back with them no it's got to be the mosquitoes because you can't, it's not, you'd have to like swap, you'd have to have like, you'd have to have gay sex with someone for that to happen. To get malaria? No, it's like a blood, I'm saying it's in your blood.

But I'm saying it's in your blood. Like, it's not like you can just get it from somebody else. Yeah, but then a skeeter could just get, could bite you and then they get your blood and then they go bring it to someone else.

That's a good point. Yeah. I haven't even thought about the skeeters. Like reusing a needle. Yeah. It bring it to someone else. That's a good point. Yeah. I haven't even thought about this. Like reusing a needle. Yeah. It is. Same concept. It's all over Kensington.

Yeah. Yeah. Malaria's going around because the rampant heroin use. Hey, guys, let's take a second and talk about Factor. Now that we're in the thick of summer, you might be looking for some wholesome, convenient meals to support sunny, active days. convenient meals to support sunny, active days. Factor, the ready-to-eat meal kit can help you fuel up fast with flavorful and nutritious ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and stay on track reaching your goals. Too busy with summer plans to cook but want to make sure you're eating well? With Factor, skip the extra trip to the

grocery store, the chopping, prepping, and cleaning, because who wants to do all that? And you're still going to get the flavor and nutritional quality that you need. Factor's fresh, never frozen meals are ready in just two minutes, so all you have to do is heat and enjoy. Then you can get back outside and soak up that sweet, warm weather. This July, get Factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle. Simply choose your meals and enjoy fresh, flavor-filled meals delivered directly to your door.

They're ready in just two minutes. No prep, no mess. Head to factormeals.com slash sun50 and use code sun50 to get 50% off. That's code sun50 at factormeals.com slash sun50 to get 50% off. Let's talk about... Read verbat off. Let's talk about... Read verbatim. Let's talk about Z-biotics. Let's face it.

After a night with drinks, I don't bounce back the next day like I used to. I have to make a choice. I can either have a great night or a great next day. That is, until I took Z-biotics. Until I found Z-biotics. That is, until I found Z-biotics. Z Until I found Z-Biotics. That is, until I found Z-Biotics. Z-Biotics pre-alcohol probiotic

is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut.

In this byproduct, it's this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for your rough next day. Z-Biotics produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. It's designed to work like your liver, but in your gut,

where you need the most. Just remember, you drink Z-Biotics before drinking alcohol. Drink responsibly and get a good night's sleep to feel your best tomorrow. Go to Z-Biotics before drinking alcohol. Drink responsibly and get a good night's sleep to feel your best tomorrow. Go to zbiotics.com slash boydad to get 15% off your first order when you use boydad at checkout. You can also sign up for a subscription using our code so you can stay prepared no matter what the time or occasion. Z-Biotics is backed with 100 money back guarantee so if you're

unsatisfied for any reason they'll refund your money no questions asked remember to head to zbiotics.com boy dad and use code boy dad at checkout for 15 off thank you zbiotics for sponsoring this episode dude everyone's going to fucking Chicago. We got to open an office in Kensington. That would be awesome. Sell dope on the side. Barstool Kensington. Huh?

Barstool Kensington. Yeah. Dude, all I see is fucking tweets from like Ian Michael Chong or whatever. Do you know who that dude is? No, but I saw some wild one yesterday about Morgan Wallen. What was it? Morgan Wallen said the N-word in 2019, and now he's sold out a baseball stadium twice.

Yeah, it was that one. Just goes to show you should be using the N-word. Yeah, I didn't know what the point of that tweet was. Correlation is causation, brother. He's successful because he uses the n-word rampantly i don't know twitter sucks i don't really go on twitter as much anymore more of just a fucking i read a lot now hit the gym what rhymes with country singer oh it's close but i uh what are you reading nothing i was I was kidding. I don't read. Really? No. I just watch fucking TV.

I tried to buy a book on the way down. I tried to buy The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. Oh, shit. That's a good one. I tried to fucking. Dude, Lex Friedman's talking about it. I've read it multiple times. I went to the store.

It was fucking this thick. It's like 1,200 pages. And the front cover of the book is a massive swastika oh imagine do like trying to do some light beach reading yeah you can't be having that the guy who's like fucking has you get one of those like paperback swastika yeah you have to make one of those fucking paper bag book covers you put on your science book yeah i draw the swastika on the top so i remember what i'm reading yeah well who is the cover artist for that it's like we need that to be the fucking just this fucking thug ass book unbelievable yeah i haven't been reading anything instead i got this

book called sapiens it's pretty fucking good that book's good yeah you got you just gifted me this one same talents book i'm definitely about to read this it is really good you should read it i bought it i bought it because i'm a man of the people and i support comedy bro two facts this is a c-side it's a signed copy bt dub really yeah personalized i don't know he just posted an instagram story and he was like i'm doing fucking two for 20 bucks and it was for something he said that he needed money or something like that and i was like all right i'll buy one of these because i i i like i read all my books on money i know he did i read all my books on the kindle i need money for like food or something so i read all my books on the kindle and then i never have the books and you know you want to have the books to show

them off yeah so i bought them and then i was like well i don't need two two's a little excessive it looks like i'm fucking hoarding the books two for one is a funny deal i have three copies of this book i've bought this book three times so i figured hey i'll give one to roan yeah well don't read that one i want to be the first one to crack that one open i've already cracked it brother i want to give you two facts from this fucking this this book sapiens that i'm reading though uh one of them is that language was created for gossip okay like for humans like the the way and reason that language flourished was just because we're little gossipy housewives and we just want to tell people about fucking each other as a society that like it doesn't matter if you say like there's a lion by the river it's like it matters if you you say the fucking girl from this tribe is having sex with the girl from that tribe. Damn.

Language created for gossip. And second one. I'm going to go with no. You don't believe that? Nope. Language probably created for basic communication. And that's the only communication that mattered, dude, was fucking gossip. You guys are fucking.

We got to get you boys off the internet. This is a book. You and all my friends are talking this is a book all right second and second second fact from here was there was uh there's uh a lot of tribes that'll talk about how like monogamy is the most important thing historically and that the nuclear family is super important um you know towards building a society but there were some societies where once a woman got pregnant she thought that what was happening inside of her body was the product of like everybody like if there's sperm in her body the more sperm that was in there would make the baby better so she would have sex with the strongest guy in the tribe none of the plug exactly yeah and then she would let the like smartest guy in the tribe come in her and like the fucking like

the funniest guy in the tribe and like everybody would try to like pile in their fucking yeah their their sperm for the batch that she was trying to make and she thought that everybody together like everybody fucking eight layered cream pie some seven layer bean dip yeah stacking nut in there having everybody just cause she's like well I want her to be a little bit funny too so

that's a good idea it is some dumb shit though that makes sense that they would think that yeah what the fuck do they know it's like the lions honestly it's a lot like they're just stupid as fuck being like yeah like we're gonna need you to fuck everybody it's crazy a dude definitely came up with that oh 100 yeah there's no way that was or maybe maybe it was the women bro maybe the women are we're just ravenous i have no clue that's not so you actually need to fuck the stupidest guy too yeah uh yeah

wait you're not gonna fuck me i have a lot to offer i'm dumb as hell you don't want your kid to be too smart that's why harry houdini had to fucking learn magic yeah yeah you have to fuck the guy with the smallest dick no i don't want your kid to be too smart. That's why Harry Houdini had to fucking learn magic. Yeah. Yeah. You have to fuck the guy with the smallest dick. No, I don't. Well, what about a magician? What about this quarter behind you?

Yeah. You don't you want your kid to be blessed with the dark arts? With the powers of the dark arts? It is so fucking perverse. That's why I'm going to start reading some fucking books. Just so I have some stats to bring to the table because. You got to have some stats. Dude, our algorithms are reaching singularity.

It's like everybody is seeing the same exact shit. Everybody is getting the same 15 people to tweet at them. Elon's giving them all like $5,000 and they're like, thanks Elon. $5,000, wow. Do a weekend in Atlanta dude I had like people from home like hit me up be like yo how much did you get well actually it was one of my good friends asked me that but I was like uh nothing

zero I mean old sass would have been I'm not I think you have to be verified and you have to like do ads and shit right probably yeah people don't realize that part of capitalism like the dude who was uh like the dude with the shaved head who sings like the oh oh oh oh oh you know the dude in the parking deck who's on uh tiktok singing that shit i haven't posted my mom on tiktok

but he now he's doing like fucking like insurance ads and shit like that he's doing ads for like the general yeah like that so these people are getting famous so fast that they will completely sell out their brand to just yeah not work their fucking real bro no one cares about the art anymore no one cares about the craft i care about the bag that's it of like photoshop penis videos or whatever yeah of deep fake ai shit deep fake ai mountain penis that's we we got to take that picture how much would it cost how much would someone have to pay you to fucking uh to have been in that lineup if like you were on tour with burt or some shit like that and he was like dude we're all gonna fucking take this picture with our fucking asses out and

our fucking love handles showing like don't you want to hop in this? How much would it cost? That probably nothing. I don't know. You wouldn't do that picture? Yeah. That's what I mean. We're in heaven.

Bro. This dude, that his voice is fucking incredible. Yeah. The internet. I come to the general and save some time. But at least I'm like, as long as i stay on like the sports and like singing side of fucking tiktok i'm i'm a safe i have a safe home yeah i don't know i'm

just going back to watching like tv shows and movies i'm back on that wave documentaries so what's the army hammer documentary not great what's that blood sucker up to nothing good i'll tell you that nothing productive really yeah he's got to get some fucking cold showers in. Reset that, rewire that brain of his. I don't know, bro. He'll probably be getting rock hard from the cold showers. Apparently he's like a full-on murderer or some shit. I think he killed people.

I bet that he'll be welcomed back into Hollywood within three years. No, dude. I bet that they'll welcome him back with open arms. Apparently it's like his whole family. It's like they're all like that. They're all cannibals. Oh, he's the only Satanist in fucking Hollywood, bro?

I don't even think he's a Satanist. I think he's just a cannibal. Yeah, he's probably more real. He's what the Satanists want to be. Yeah. The documentary sucked, though. It wasn't worth watching at all. Did you see the story

about the friends, the group of friends that ate their buddy's foot? He had to get his foot amputated, so they pan-seared it or some shit? No. It sounds like a good idea. Would you do that?

Eat his foot? Yeah. Why did they do it? To survive? No, to try it. They got a medical exemption to eat their buddy's foot. No, I would not do that. I mean, if they're amputating the foot,

I'm assuming there's something wrong with the foot, right? I don't know. Was it diabetes? Here's the story right here this guy served his friends tacos from his own amputated leg oh okay like so like a more of like a hannibal type thing but it was like his buddies it was hannibal they know because hannibal served his days he served all i think they knew i think it was taco tuesday no his name was leBron James. There's no way. Dude, yeah, there it is. There it is. Oh, fuck.

What? I don't think, I guess I put up the wrong link for this fucking show. Fucking idiot. The fuck is wrong with you? But I think that if you put a foot in a big green egg so you could pull the bones out of the toes, I think toes could be succulent. I think that toes could be

if they weren't too cartilaginous i think that they could go down real easy like a boneless buffalo wing or some shit like that but that's just me talking it's like a fall off the bone video it just falls off the foot yeah i really think it could be like that and that got me thinking about how fucking uh this was a conversation I had on the boat before we got stuck in the mud with my buddy Mike, bro, that horse meat could be pretty good. And they used to serve it at D'Alessandro's in Philly. D'Alessandro's got busted the cheesesteak place

for serving horse meat. Like it's a place you just have a stack of it on a griddle. And then life comes fucking beautifully full circle when i got to fucking africa because one of the places they offered a skewer of mystery meat and one of the things was zebra which is basically a horse so you know i had to try it and i'll be honest with you zebra is pretty fucking good what was one that you didn't like the alligator alligator was gross yeah it looked gross as fuck. It was gamey. It was white meat, so you thought it'd be lean and nice.

It looked gross. It looked like a jello. But even the guy was like, why would you eat a meatita? Yeah. I was like, yeah, that's a pretty good fucking question. It was fucking thick as hell,

but they had a nice thick peppercorn sauce on it. They would have liked it down in Huntsville for sure. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. So, best was... You see that video of that dude wrestling the alligator? Mm-mm. At, like, the zoo? Mm-mm.

He was, like, at a zoo, and the trainer that was, like, at the zoo got bit by the alligator. Oh, wait, I did see this. Of course I have, because our algorithms are... Yeah, he hopped in, and he fucked that thing up. That was awesome. That was a badass video. It makes me... And then the lady gets out, and he's like, what do I do now?

And he's just sitting on top of an alligator what the hell do i do yeah because you really can't be like yeah that was hilarious but he bodied that fucking gator yeah he wrestled the fuck out of it yeah i that used to be a fantasy of mine to wrestle an alligator yeah until i realized that i'd grow up to be a weak adult you can still do it kb did it they just like duct tape the mouth shut and then it's pretty much just wrestling like a fucking hot dog no dude they're still they can whip their heads hard as fuck at one of the college football shows they brought out the alligator it was like a florida georgia game or something and i think it was taped shut, so I still tried to pet the top of it. And it fucking smacked my head so hard with the bottom of its head that I just wasn't ready for that power. It smacked your shit up.

It smacked my shit up. Did you write? It really did. Don't go petting a gator, man. I know from experience. I know from experience, too. You do not want to pet a gator. You do not want to pet a gator. Yeah, I couldn't wrestle gator yeah i couldn't wrestle gators are nasty too they'll eat people

you think so yeah they like to have you seen that graphic of what is it a bear a hippo a gator and like a lion or a tiger yeah a gator obviously is who you want to fight same yes obviously you get get on their back they're fucking stupid yeah they have dinosaur brains you can like go left go side to side yeah follow you fucking idiots a bear people were being like a hippo out of water the fuck dude dude my buddy hippos might be the scariest one so my buddy who's in alaska he had to they he has to have like they had to kill a bear no they actually have had to kill two bears no because they get like too aggressive with the guests and stuff and then they scream and they won't go away and they gotta shoot it because it's getting like about to charge and uh what yeah he said it's pretty like devastating when it happens but it's crazy out there too he said it's he said it's nuts out there he said he's

gonna but he said he's looking at buying a gun because he has like he has a 10 millimeter clock and a fucking 12 gauge shotgun like they gave him because he has because he's a guy. So he needs to be like protect the guests. What? Yeah. And he said that he was he was like thinking about getting he was thinking about buying a gun. A semi auto. No. When he goes back to Denver, he's like, I might buy a pistol.

And he was like talking to one of the dudes out there. He's like a big gun guy. Yeah. And he was like, he's like, so do you pistol and he was like uh talking to one of the dudes out there he's like a big gun guy yeah and he was like uh he's like so do you think i should like uh get like a nine millimeter or ten millimeter he's like and also does it think it really matters like how much money i spend like should i spend a lot so i can have it for a while or should i spend a little and he was like honestly man i would just get the nine and the ten before the government decides to take them all away. So now he's like, you got to buy two guns. He's like, now he's going to buy two pistols. You got to get a whole fleet of them.

He's going to be dual pistolling. You're going to need a 50 caliber with a fucking car mount before the government takes it away. Bro, they need to fucking legalize that shit in New York too, dude. I've seen enough bears in Chelsea. Oh, yeah. I might need to mow these boys down. What the fuck, though? legalize that shit in new york too dude i've seen enough bears in chelsea oh yeah what the fuck though so he's he's somewhere where he's seeing a bunch of bears that that's the kind of tours he's giving constantly yeah i was like did you i was like have you had to shoot any of the bears and he was like uh no i had to shoot at a bear though because they burn their trash

because there's nowhere for them to bring their trash they're like in a completely remote area they fly in like helicopters so they're contributing to climate change pretty much wow and he was like i was bringing the trash over to where we burn it and i saw like a massive black bear like standing there and he was yelling at it and then it like hey bear yeah hey hey hey hey hey bear hey bear hey, hey. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. That video is so funny. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear.

Keep walking. All righty. Let's talk about the Barstool Sportsbook. I love the Barstool Sportsbook. I love the Barstool Sportsbook as well. I love to gamble. Man, I've been gambling on a little bit of baseball. I just got back in on the phillies i got i put in

a thousand dollar bet at 35 to 1 so last year i had a thousand dollars at 40 to 1 i should have cashed out when they were in the world series i would have done well but i got some of the best odds i saw anywhere and you can get them too with the barstool sports book so i went i went 35 thousand dollars at the phillies win the world series it's pretty big and if that happens i'm taking us all on safari so let's root for it all right all right let's all root for it i just put in a future for the bills to win the super bowl take that shirt off i did no take it off i was gonna put in another bed but i put in put in one for the eagles yeah i think i was gonna put in a couple just put in two i was gonna put in the bills the the eagles and the patriots the patriots bro yeah

you're you don't want to throw you don't want to do that of course i do no the best thing is that i can do all of them responsibly yes at the barstool sportsbook download and sign up for the barstool sportsbook today terms apply must be 21 or older gambling problem call 1-800 gambler you could say anything they don't understand what you're saying you're just yelling and he did the bear like kind of walked away like a couple feet and then it just like stood there like behind a tree like trying to play like a little like hide and go seek he said that he just like took out his pistol and he just like shot in that direction. Did it go running? He said he didn't hear anything.

What? So he was like, so either I killed the bear and it just dropped or it just like slowly walked away. Nuh-uh. Yeah. What the fuck? He said he has no idea. He's like, I might have killed it.

I don't know. Closed his eyes and hit something? Yeah. Damn. Yeah. But he's shotgunned up, dude. He's living in a fucking cabin that's smaller than this room so what are they driving around me and he's just he's just caulking the shotgun constantly

damn there's nothing in it but it's hilarious i'm like dude you should not have that yeah he's he's a bad day away from turning that thing around yeah and he's been facetiming me he's like dude it's been raining for the last three weeks put on some pearl jam you wind up like eddie vetter or no eddie vetter still alive sorry bro kirk covain of course um what saying it so wait but what do they drive around and up there is it like a safari type vehicle because i really have the lust for fucking seeing wildlife like that. No, dude. They don't drive around. I don't think they even have a car.

So, what are, is it guided hikes? Guided fly fishing. So, you just go out to the, you just meet up at the river. There's guests

that spend like $10,000 a week to go where he is. Wow. And then he brings them out to the water, to like the rivers and the lakes and they and he like walks them around and like tells them what to do yeah i think i'm something

of an outdoorsman myself yeah in that i want something with heated seats that i can have hold with two hands and a blanket on my lap while i'm one foot away from an animal getting their face ripped off i did think that i might go out there and be like oh i feel bad for the fucking springbok or the fucking uh buffalo that's getting eaten i've felt no remorse in my heart hell no circle of life i thought that i was gonna be like oh no like the poor thing like why do you gotta shoot it like you ever see the video of the kid when the hunter goes through like his neighborhood new jersey no it's like why do you gotta shoot it? What did that deer ever do to you? The guy was like,

I eat it. You eat meat? He's like, yeah, but I don't kill it. I was like, well, that's the logic. That kind of was my logic a lot of the time. I don't really feel that bad about animals getting killed by other animals. Circle of life, bro. They said that nothing dies of old age. Yeah, no shit,

dude, because we're getting rolled up on by a pack of 12 tigers. Country of rocks. Yeah. That's what I mean, though. If nothing dies of old age, it really is like circle of... It made me feel better about my own eventual death. Feed me to the fucking lions, dude.

I know. Throw my... Drag my body behind fucking Razor and Sipo's fucking safari vehicle and let the lions go to town on me. Yeah. Or whoever gets there first. The hyenas, the big boys, the fucking wild dogs.

Dude, the... The birds. The only thing, the only bears that are out there right now are black bears. Are those, which ones are bigger? The grizzlies. Brown bears. So black bears are the tiny, friendly ones? Black bears are like, I think he sent me a video of one of the black bears.

And they're very small. But he said in a couple weeks when the salmon start making their way down the river, he said it's going to be, that's when all the grizzlies come out. But do the grizzlies have any interest in humans? Dude, the grizzlies will maul a human to death. So what happens if you're fly fishing? That's probably what the shotgun is for. The pistol would not kill a grizzly.

Really? Unless you shot it like 10 times in the head. So in The Revenant, that was a grizzly? Yeah. That he shot in the face? This is a video? This is right outside his cabin. No.

Yeah. No. Yeah. No. People make it seem like that kind of bear you can just... Like pet? Yeah. You could spook him. That one, apparently you can't. You can play peekaboo and they'll be scared.

That one looks like it's pretty young. That's probably like a cub. And I think you can spook those ones. I think you can... I think you go up to them and you just go, Hey, bear. Hey, bear. And then they skedaddle away. But grizzzzlies if you see a grizzly you're fucked

that's when you got to bring out the but so what so if he's fly fishing and then he sees a grizzly on another bank like 200 yards away or something like that what is his protocol i have is the grizzly gonna charge him and fuck him up or can he like back away to his car or just like i think probably push the johnsons in front of him. You probably back away. Maybe you probably load up that 12 gauge and start getting ready to fucking shoot it if it charges at you.

Really? I'd assume so. I mean, dude, grizzly bears are huge. They weigh like... I think like they max out at like 1,300 pounds. That's unfathomably big. Polar bears are 1,500. That's nine Diego's.

Yeah. It's insane. That's so fucking massive. I know. Holy shit. And apparently like these salmon are about to start making their way down the river and then it's just going to be grizzly town. I bet those salmon are so delicious though.

Oh yeah. They just stand at the river and just slurp up salmon all day. Oh my god They're lazy animals I think Bears or salmon? Grizzlies Yeah? They just eat all summer

And then they just sleep for like nine months Lazy fucks I know Get a fucking job Get a job Sleep for 20 hours Fucking work for four You lazy stupid fucks

You lazy sons of bitches. Alright, you want to call it? Yeah. Son of a boy dad. We are doing well as a podcast. We've grown. We've grown recently in the last month or so.

If you want to be part of the growth, fucking buy in now. Get some tickets to Lil Sass's comedy shows in Atlanta. Yes. You can buy tickets

at lilssasssquatchcomedy.com No, lilsassquatchwebsite.com Fuck. Now everybody's going to be flooding to the other one. I know. You fucked me. There's people who turned it off as soon as I finished that word. They probably went straight to the website. I've fucked my

brother again. Alright, well, we'll see you guys next week. Adios. Adios. Love was over Still, still underground