Son of a Boy Dad - The 3 Man Weave w/ Francis Ellis | Son of a Boy Dad #130

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

The 3 Man Weave w/ Francis Ellis | Son of a Boy Dad #130 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Thank you, brother. It is to be in exactly at three on the dot for some booking lady, so let's just get this going. Right. Yeah, we could do ads in part two.

Good ass pictures pictures Good to go Recording Probably didn't need that Set us off You got me sitting in the middle I don't want to You set us off Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast

Today it is Tuesday, August 29th. Most Dangerous Game Show comes out tonight. Yes, well, once this podcast is out, you can go watch that Most Dangerous Game Show right now. What is the schedule for that? Every Tuesday at 8 o'clock. Every Tuesday? You're doing once a week? What do you mean you're doing?

What are you talking about? It's very spread out. I like it. Are you sure you like it? Yeah. Yeah, it's this new thing like periodic programming. It's a good idea. It's fucking nuts. Everybody's already like, no sass,

no watch, but luckily we do have Francis on not only this show, but on Marshall's Most Dangerous Game Show. That's right. You get one half of Fran Squ, but on Marshall's Most Dangerous Game Show. That's right. You get one half of Fran Squatch in this year's Most Dangerous Game Show. And I'll tell you what, I didn't fucking mail it in like I did. He tried his hardest.

I unplugged this and I want to look at it. Yeah, just turn it around. I wasn't lying low, which is the correct way to say that. He doesn't want to see himself. um yeah so it's going to be fucking uh it's going to be sweet but you don't have to promote that what the hell have you guys been up to not much just got back to new york yesterday just chilling dude i i don't know how you do it i don't know how you can uh just get away with the shit that you get away with. What did I get away with? You know, just being kind of at your own distance.

I wasn't at my own distance. I went home last week after the Barstool Awards. He runs at exactly his own pace. He's not, he doesn't get, there's no rabbit that he's going to chase. No. There's nothing that's going to take him out of the,

so the last time we saw each other, barstool awards. Yeah. Actually, the three of us ended our night together kind of happily.

Right. That was night. That was great. Three in the morning, we were smoking a joint outside of Sass and Francis' hotel, just talking about,

I think we were talking about comedy. Yeah, we were talking about loserish. What a surprise. And then Sass and Francis' hotel, just talking about... I think we were talking about comedy. Yeah, just talking about loser-ish. What a surprise. And then Sass and I went inside, and we did what we always do. We went to the vending machine. Yeah, we got snacks,

and then only my card... My card worked twice. It was only... You could only use card. You fumbled with that for an hour. It worked. I got a drink and a snack, and then it stopped working.

Yeah, he broke it. So Francis couldn't get anything. Short-circuited it. And I was trying to not let him. I think I was trying to not let you get the junk food that you wanted. And I was trying to select something healthier for you. No, I don't think. You started boxing me out.

We were kind of wrestling. And I loved that. Then it broke. Francis couldn't get it. Francis wanted to get a Fiji water. That's all he wanted. Yeah, I wanted some water. So he's not filling up one of those stupid plastic cups.

They had water in the hotel. Tell him about the ills of eating right before you go to bed. What are you doing? You're spiking your blood sugar at a time when you're supposed to be coming down. You're disrupting your metabolism. I didn't eat enough that day. I didn't eat anything. Yeah, you know what?

I'm trying to look good. Yeah, but I didn't want to be hungover the next day, so I got a Gatorade Zero. Such a college mentality. I got a G-Zip and I got some Doritos. That's what they tell you in alcohol EDU. No, that helps. G-Zip is not doing that.

I mean, I've seen you guys hungover and it looks significantly worse than I look hungover. I wasn't hungover. We're 10 years older than you. You can see Rome when Rome's hungover because he comes down and he's never wearing a hat when he's hung over my shit's always his hair is all messy you can like smell the alcohol through my hair it's fucking a disgusting feeling but at the same time i always come he comes down from the into the hotel lobby just soaking wet every time

cheeks are all red no it's because i work out the morning after I drink to try and lick the hangover. That's a terrible idea. Terrible idea. No, that's a man's move. That's a move that you have to be doing. I'm not eating G-zips before I fucking go to bed. It's a mistake. That's the hangover cure. So did you offer to share your Doritos with Francis? It was a tiny

bag of Doritos. I didn't want any. I wasn't having that. Couldn't ration them out for your boy? Unless they'd had some quinoa crisps or some cauliflower puffs, which you can sometimes find in gas stations now. Yeah, those

are nice. Skinny pop. They're still like the same as chips. Can I rewind looking for some Oreo thins? Yeah, take the cream out eat the crackers chew them up spit them out don't swallow take us back to win let me rewind us to a very um amazing moment and i'm glad you guys are having me on today i appreciate it because this is where i would want to break this down um so sass was supposed to present at the barstool

award show uh and he only found out day of that you were not not you've been i found out through brandon that i was not on the act live on the act a lot of people had been spiked from the show i i assumed i had been spiked as well i was not which i was thrilled by now i did something let me i want to i want to hear your take on how this all unfolded sass was really bummed out he'd written some really good jokes we'd been spitballing jokes back and forth and i he was pissed and he was sort of confiding in me and which is good by the way that he cared i think that sass i only care apathy is has uh i care because there's no other scenario where i would use those jokes.

It's like, what am I going to wait for the 40th anniversary and then reuse these jokes? Spot on. Yeah. So I said, hey, I don't know if this is something you'd want, but I would happily have you give me some of the jokes since I'm presenting and I will credit you on stage yeah with the jokes and he was like yeah i'm okay with that i'm like okay so we meet before the award show we're spitballing jokes i run my set he and i work on some of his jokes he gives me a great joke he gave me the joke where he said um you know when dave sold the company and bought it back for a dollar, I texted him congratulations and Smitty texted him Jew.

Now, that's an incredible joke for what it's worth. Sass's original version of that joke was I texted Dave congratulations and then I stole Smitty's phone and texted him Jew. Yeah, we trimmed it down. That was what Smitty said happened. Right, right, right. And I said, no, we need to hit this hard. Economize the language.

It's more like, it's funnier if we continue the narrative that Dave thinks Smitty was the one who sent the text all those years ago. Right, right. And Sass was like, great. So to me, that is a collaborative work on that joke. 99% of the credit goes to Sass.

I mean, I helped you with some of yours too. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. I said, ditch that, say this. But you'll see where I'm going. Okay. On stage, I do the joke.

Joke murders. It was probably, almost certainly, the best joke of my set. Of the night, I'd say. Dave goes on the next day to say on radio, that's the best joke of all time. It certainly is not. No. Take that. This is a guy who hates stand-up comedy jokes hates jokes there's a clip of him laughing his head off yeah right i have you you've watched some of the comedy central roasts of course have you ever you know that all those presenters yeah none of them have people write their jokes for them. Yes.

Have you ever, in the history of the Comedy Central Roasts, seen one of those comedians, after telling a very good joke, say, by the way, so-and-so wrote that joke? No, that's never happened. Right. So I'm patting myself on the back here for doing something very self... How was the agreement? The agreement was I would give you the joke if you said I wrote it. You did give credit. Or I could have not done your joke

and then just done no credit. Yeah. So what's your beef? I don't have any beef. He doesn't have a beef. This is just me. I walked away unscathed. This is me being frustrated and airing it. what's your beef i don't have any he doesn't have a beef this is just me i walked away well this is me being frustrated and airing it and so to close this out uh you know i give sass the credit right and then and then um the next day on radio dave says that was the best joke of all time and then

um tommy smokes was like wait minute. That was actually sass. That was sass who wrote it. That was sass, sass, sass, sass, sass. And I don't get any credit whatsoever for any of my jokes. Everyone liked your jokes. Oh, yes. Everyone liked your joke in my set, which you got credit for because I'm magnanimous. Because I wrote the joke. I wrote the for because I'm magnanimous. Because I have a big heart.

I wrote the joke. I have a big heart. He has a big heart and he was giving and he put you on the map and... You got the credit for it. No one would have even heard of your name. I think Dave wouldn't have deservingly got the credit. I don't think I didn't deserve the credit. It was my joke. Let me ask you this.

I tell the joke. move on don't don't give you credit what do you do are you taking it online and i would have gone i wrote that joke by the way oh he would have stewed too that's a lot smaller than what i did yeah no but i don't i'm not i was talking about this with nick actually that day when i was like i don't know how you do this because nick writes jokes all the time for people right I was like I don't know how you can live with that with like there's something that will be like damn that was so fucking funny is something about you know we don't necessarily need credit for everything I do that we can I do nice to see that just bought me like three more months at this company you're welcome that credit I need the credit welcome yeah how about a fucking thank you what i don't know what i'm thanking you for or doing something did a great job delivering the

joke i was happy with that ever done that was you a you said it to me first said i'll give you credit and i said awesome and then at the when we were going over the jokes in that room for like an hour i said are you going to give me credit on that? And you said, yeah, 100%. There's one other piece that I forgot to mention. I watched a clip of you chewing out Blatman. And in that clip, someone was like, you said something like, blah, blah, blah, jokes, jokes. And someone was like, well, why didn't you? I don't know. And then you were like, because Francis wanted them. Remember that?

Oh, no, because Big Cat was going to use them. And then I said, no, I'd rather have Francis do that. No, no, no. You said Francis. It's too late. Francis wanted them. I think I was just saying that to be annoying to Big Cat. Oh, yeah.

Let's be clear. I didn't want them. You wanted them bad. You said, let me get my hands on that Jew joke. I had confidence in my jokes. Yeah. I knew I was going to have. You had a great joke.

You know you needed a little cherry on top. No. And the Jew joke was bad. Because I didn't get any credit for Yeah. I knew I was going to have, you had a great joke. You know you needed a little cherry on top. No. And the Jew joke was bad. Because I didn't get any credit for it. What's the point? You got to feel the laughs. Don't you think I wanted

to feel the laughs, brother? It's like me doing a cover song up there. Oh, dude. There's some good cover songs out there. Yeah, there sure are. You did a great cover.

You're like Tracy Chapman being in the audience as someone plays Fast Car. Yeah. You got to feel the buzz of the laughter in the room. Oh, yeah. You got to bask in it

and be like, yeah, that was me. And the immediate recognition that Francis gave. You got all the recognition. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, like, I'm happy with it.

You had no gratitude. I was great. I was pumped with how it went. I was very happy with how it went. Tell you what, if the roles were reversed, he's not giving me credit.

Oh, I would 100% give you credit. I would have gotten Francis wrote that one. After the biggest laugh? Yeah, obviously. If Francis asked me to, I would have been shocked if you were like, if you just didn't

say anything. Would have been crazy. If he looked at you? If he looked dead at you? I'm presenting a set. I'm doing a set. Like, evilly looked at. But it wasn't like a traditional, if it was like a legitimate roast. Yeah, set. I'm doing a set. Like evilly looked at. But it wasn't like a traditional, if it was like a legitimate roast.

Yeah, no. I will say, all jokes aside, you know, I do the joke and then I'm like looking at my thing. I'm nervous. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, on to the next one. And I think I started to tell the next joke

and then I was like, ah, wait. Let that breathe. Yeah, you did. SAS told that joke. He wrote that joke. That was a SAS joke. All credit to SAS. Did you know how many pay-per-view buys it had when you were up there?

No. Because I would have been shit in my pants. Was it a ton? I think it was like 40K, right? Holy shit. If I knew 40K people were watching live, I would have crumbled on stage. Yeah. How many pay-per-view buys was your last time being on stage for Barstool?

Not enough to keep me at the company. It's a low blow. Low blow of the century there. By the way, I want to explain one more thing. I prefaced that whole set by being like, this might be the last three minutes of my time at the company. And the reason was I had a bunch of jokes written. I had a couple of jokes. This is the other reason i was frustrated my best joke of my entire set they didn't let him bitten from telling by whom i'm not gonna say okay but somebody who who you respected enough to forbid yeah yeah pretty

much one of the two people that he's respected enough to forbid i was told don't do it and uh that would have been, I think, the joke that might have gone toe-to-toe. Yeah, that was a very funny joke. It was very funny. You would have been like,

that was mine. Yeah, I wrote that. Yeah, Sass did not, Sass had nothing to do with that one. Yeah. Sass is going to take credit

for it, like Pusha T taking credit for Kanye shit. Yeah. He's going to be like, that's all mine. Not that anyone gives a fuck, but I do think that the show would have been better if they dropped the house lights by like a lot the fact that it was bright in there it was like no like

people are making jokes about like erica and dave and then you're just like sitting next to erica and dave yeah they're looking at everyone laughing you can't laugh behind someone's back smitty came up to me after the show legitimately angry that we had done that joke. Yeah. He wasn't happy. What did he say? He said something about not wanting you know, not

wanting his kids 20 years from now to find out that that find that or something. Yeah. If his kids 20 years from now are watching that he's got bigger problems if they're like sitting down watching the 20th barstool anniversary and that like i'm jokingly crediting a fucking running bit yeah him i don't think i don't think it was bad at all no i don't think he actually was mad either no i mean also everybody got it that night yeah most worse than that everybody i was probably the most light-. That was the part that pissed me off.

After I was told not to do the joke that I wanted to do, Nate went on stage and did a very similar joke, and then Ryan Whitney did a similar joke. Clearly, none of that shit was off-limits, and it's just one of those things where it's like, don't ask for permission. Mark would be good at a roast. He doesn't give a fuck. No, he doesn't.

When he looked at Caroline and goes, by the way, Barbie sucks. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was nuts. Just to be an asshole. Yeah, just to be a dick. For no reason. Just to be an asshole. That was crazy.

Look that in her eyes. It was such a fun night. And I really think that the fact that you wrote that joke and the way that you went up and acquitted yourself, that joke and the way that you went up and acquitted yourself, I think that that really proves that planning, preparing, and going up with a plan for a scenario like that is what makes those things

the best. And they should have leaned into more people that would do that. And that Sash should have been included. Nick should have been in it for sure. I don't know why you would have needed to. You got all the credit. It would have been bad. I had other jokes I didn't get to do. You got all the credit. It would have been bad. I had other jokes I didn't get to do. You got all the credit.

Say them now then if they're so great. No, they're not great. That was the whole reason I gave Francis that one and not the other ones. Yeah, but now you're like, well, I didn't get to do all my other jokes. No, but I mean... You had like a murderer's row of exclusively bangers. You're getting the Schrodinger's cat kind of... I was under the impression that I had like 30 seconds. So I had like three jokes.

That's what I was under the impression of too. And then Pat Beverly filibustered up there. Yeah. The mic was walking around on stage like Steve Jobs dropping an iPhone. Yeah, he did. But it was... Did him and Taylor ever talk? Yeah, I think he... I think Taylor apologized to him.

That's fine. Taylor LeJuan? Yeah. Taylor Swift. What happened to them? No, I think Taylor apologized to him. That's funny. Taylor LeJuan? Taylor Swift. What happened to them? No, I think he was considering that... It was like the best athlete award and he was considering that there's four athletes in here, me, Will Compton, Biz, and Whitney. No one else should be in the running for this

award. Oh, yeah. That's tough. He's the only active professional athlete there. Exactly. Now, here's a. He just omitted. He's the only active professional athlete there. Exactly. Now, here's a question, Roan. Who had or is having the better professional sports career, Pat Bev or Taylor LeJuan? Actually, a tough question, I think.

It is a tough question. Taylor LeJuan, three-time Pro Bowler. Yeah, Pat Bev never made a Pro Bowl, but he was all defense. Second team. Yeah, butpe never made a pro bowl, but he was all defense. Second team. Yeah, but multiple times second team. So it's really hard to say. And Taylor LeJuan at one point was one of the highest paid at his position. Was at that time the highest paid offensive line.

Highest paid offensive tackle. And so it really is tough but then Pat Bev is still playing it's like Pat Bev also might be older than Taylor LeJuan so thus having a longer career

so it really is depends on how how you rank it it's you can't even realize how big Taylor used to be like physically 6'7

310 pounds he was fucking huge now he's just slim and handsome it's crazy how fast those guys lose weight. I mean, every time I see him, he's down like 20 pounds. That's from not working out.

At the mini golf event at the Super Bowl, there was like a tray of, have you ever seen those like mini cupcakes? Yeah. That are like literally like one centimeter in diameter. He stood over a mini cupcake and like grunted at himself to have the self-control of not having the small bite of mini cupcake. With his producers being like, don't do it, dude.

You've been doing so good. You've been crushing it. I can't imagine wanting to have that type of self-control. Then he drinks a beaker of grog. He is. He's always crushing a beaker of grog, dude. A fucking pitcher of grog. is he's always crushing a beaker of grog dude i haven't a fucking what the fuck is a beaker of grog a beer can oh he drinks a a fucking pitcher of beer as his beer yeah oh yeah he'll

take a pitcher and that's his beer he's a monster he we we had a good time on the uh on the crate race i wrote 1200 words on taylor the one today that's why i know so much about him We had a good time on the crate race. I remember 1,200 words on Taylor LeJuan today. That's why I know so much about him. What did you... About what? 6'7 and 1 eighth inches. I think it was 306 pounds, something like that. Dude, he ran a 4'8 to 40 yard dash at that height and weight,

which is utterly preposterous. Yeah, I, I cannot fathom that. I feel like he stopped liking me after I, I, at the mini golf event, I was like sideline reporting and I think I made like a spinning joke,

just something in passing. I think he stopped. So you're telling me he doesn't take jokes. Well, he stopped fucking with me. Because I wrote 1,200 words of jokes about him. Doesn't Bussin with the Boys tweet out that clip like weekly? I don't know.

I feel like our relationship came to a screeching halt after that. I talked to Will for a while at the party. He also didn't like me making a concussion joke, I don't think. Really? Yeah. I don't think anyone liked the jokes made about them. You said I was gay. joke. I don't think. Really? Yeah. I don't think anyone liked the jokes made about that. You said I was gay.

Yeah. I liked that. Yeah. Because that's actually the highest compliment. That's great. These days. Yeah. A lot of people.

Cass was poor. Said you were gay. Nate said I wanted to be black. I thought that that was nice. I thought all of those jokes were like nice jokes and the kind of thing you make jokes about

a friar's club type of like Shriners established white guy roast. Without a doubt. It should have been a roast. It should have been. It would have been so fun. It's kind of how, I mean, lightly I treated it. That's what you guys did

and then everyone else just went up and said, Dave is the best person on earth. I will take a bullet for him any day of the week. Everyone had the same speech. Which I guess guess i mean it's like part of it but it would have been funny to have like funny you know it would have been fun to have funny in it well only if only you were liked and valued here yeah i know yeah i'm not everybody else like, I shine my picture of the Supreme Leader, Dave Portnoy, every day before I go to bed. People love Dave.

Yeah. But it's, I guess, when you're on the firing squad and you see the man next to you get shot down and the man on the other side gets shot down. Yeah. You're going to be loyal to the government. That type of vibe.

Truth. Sage. Doesn't it feel like that? A lot of truth in that. A little bit. Oh, man. But i think it was a overall a fucking awesome award what other like pay-per-view type events could we get going i feel like if we pitch some pay-per-view events we could be like that was our idea what's some other pay-per-view as we did a weekly roast wow weekly is crazy pay-per-view weekly

a roast a roast of one person in the office each week. Oh, no. I was thinking just like a roast. A single roast? Who gets roasted, though? Dave. It would have to be him. Yeah.

Right? I think Dave roast would play. I think Dave roast would play. I feel like we had... That was a pretty good formula for something like that. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much what everyone had. Everyone had at least a Dave joke.

Yeah. But how do you get out of that? I mean, yeah. How many dog collar jokes can you get? Yeah, exactly. I don't know.

I think that'd be fun. I think that who else would be roastable? Is there anybody else that's even worthy of roasting? No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I think security guard picket is the thing.

He'd handle it well. Yeah. It's crazy to think about who could take jokes. You know who could really take a joke was Brianna Chicken Fry. She could?

Dude. Didn't she specifically call you out for your joke? She was kidding. Oh. She gave me some shit back and then i went up after because i i frankly admire her and i'm a little intimidated because she's so successful and one round of her t-shirts pays my salary yeah and i was like uh you know we don't know each other that well so taking a shot at someone like that i was like oh

boy and um i went up afterwards i was like hey you know hope that that, I was like, oh boy. And I went up afterwards. I was like, hey, you know, I hope that was okay. She was like, oh yeah, it was great. Kidding. Laughed about it. Fucking awesome. Yeah. That is the best attitude to have about it.

You want to like, you hope that for yourself that you have that attitude. Not the worst than being like, what did you say? What did you say about me? Yeah. My son! He's not going to respect me in 20 years! Yeah, it is surprising

for a comedy company. Yeah. People just are unfamiliar with the... I think people will do better next time. I feel like everyone here takes shit constantly

in that scenario. Yeah, but I think people... It really bothers everyone. It literally bothers everyone to a man and woman. in that scenario but i think people it really bothers everyone it literally bothers everyone to a man and woman everything that's ever said about them and they internalize it one nothing any of us from it i think any of us are going to say it's going to be half as bad as stuff that like people online say about them yeah then nate nate set was just like what people say online yeah yeah they just mined the darkest opinions of people

online and brought that all to light, which was hilarious. But I think that we actually did... I mean, you couldn't just back it right up to that, but doing an actual roast would be something people wanted to see. You could invite comedians and it would have more

of a pointed... You know what the goal is. With this, you didn't know what the goal was. Some people understood the assignment. Some people just stumbled on the stage. Would you want to do more of a roast battle? Two people roasting each other in the office? That we could do weekly. Yeah. Sassy doesn't like that idea. I just feel like the roast battle of arrows kind of passed i know but what are we at barcel if not a company that likes to try things that have been

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Get high like sass. All right, let's get back to the show. I interviewed Mark Cuban yesterday. Oh, shit. Ask him about Bobby, whatever that girl's name is. Bobby Alfalfa. Bobby Lopsided Titties. Yeah, what's her name?

He's getting heat from all angles. Yeah. Good heat or bad heat? People hate her now. Why? I don't know. People loved her. Now they hate her. Why do they hate now why i don't know people loved her now they hate her why do they hate her i don't know monsanto type of shit i guess like drake and lilyati unfollowed her industry plant that was enough yeah well i also think that uh like there's

so there's only so much you could do that uh style you know without without Without having really distilled it and having it be exactly like knowing the character really well, any break from the character is going to take away from how much people like it. So I think she went on BFS and kind of was herself and people were like, what the fuck? Yeah, which is hilarious that people didn't understand that she was doing a character on her

show. And then she went on Dave's show and she's like, oh, so this is how she acts around white people. And it was like, dude. it's because she's not interviewing dave they're interviewing her right right i also think that her character she does a podcast is a long amount of time to be in that character right the clips the shit it's more suitable for a short video format yeah yeah it was uh i don't know if it's jump the shark or if she can recapture that money in a bottle but like wme or whoever who's repping her now someone wme yeah they're gonna they're definitely gonna keep on pumping that thing oh yeah also i i don't think lopsided people i don't think people understand that having an agent doesn't mean that you're automatically

a superstar. Everyone's like, well, she had Drake on because she has an agent. Drake also is just locked in. You know Drake and we can't get Drake on the show. I have an agent and you know Drake personally.

And we're not getting him on the show. Anywhere close to having him on the show. Just because you're at WME doesn't mean that you have an open invite into Drake's house. What would it take for us to get Drake on the show? I assume a large sum of money.

My death. It would take my death. And even still. And even still he'd be like I'd have to think about it. Blackmail on very oh like a murder yeah he did this to me yeah he fucked me without me wanting him to yeah yeah unconsensual boy sex yeah the ndas that that guy has are fucking crazy i think like glenny glenny said he was gonna do like a video series of like celebrities bathrooms that he's been in yeah from doing sunday conversations but the nda from drake would be like half a million a post or some shit like that i think i reshared to be another half a million

i'm probably violating the nda by saying that because we got an email when they did drake we got an email when they did Drake. We got an email when they did Drake and it was like a long list of things to not talk about. Yeah, we might have to leave this entire segment. But speaking of really nice bathrooms though, so when I interviewed Mark Cuban

yesterday, I was at the house where they filmed the Big Lebowski and Charlie's Angels. This famous guy's house that's on a bluff, $75 million house overlooking all of Los Angeles, the original Hollywood Hills house. The bathroom is entirely mirrors. The whole house is designed by John Lautner, who was the main acolyte of Frank Lloyd Wright. So no right angles in the entire house. Beautiful house.

It's made entirely of glass. I walked square into a glass wall. Oh, really? I tried to walk out of the house and like a bird flying into a fucking perfectly buffed window, I smoked my face. I had a fucking water bottle in my hand. It fucking smashed against my chest, exploded.

His assistant came running over, making sure I was okay, and didn't fucking smoke my nose, break my face. And we got it all on camera. Really? Yeah. It looks so fucking bad. It just sounds like a fucking gong it's just like you didn't break

that would have been a fucking scene and it's all glass so like the house shatters around me yeah i'm just standing there must be some clear ass glass it was so clear yeah you when you watch the clip you can't even tell what i ran into until the second or third time you watch it because even in the clip it looks so fucking clear. That's crazy. You want to watch the clip? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It definitely did. Was it a nice place? It's. Oh, it's the bill of your hat yeah thank god dude you can run you run it were you looking at your phone i was just turning around sensing where the light was oh you weren't looking at your phone i just turned around was looking down and i just smoked myself into the wall. That's funny. The guy whose house it is is like an older guy and his hearing's not great though. So he kind of looked back and didn't even really look back. It was just the highest.

Watch this, Sass. Sass, stay with us here. Oh yeah, there you go. We're on the pod here. Yeah, that is fucking... Why is that there? Why is that glass there? I just watched it.

How did he get it? Oh, you texted him? He texted it. Why is that glass there i just watched it oh god how did he get it are you texting he texted it why is that glass there though entire house the the ethos of the house is kind of this combination with nature indoor outdoor kind of flowing thing so all of it feels inside and all of it feels outside no plaster all concrete beautiful house beautiful it's cool it's really transcendent what if there's like a hurricane? I can't imagine a house like that really holds up well in LA. They just get its first hurricane ever this past week. The house

must just explode. It's probably why it's all, they just had to put a bunch of fresh glass in. This guy's house was so insane. He's like this 83-year-old guy who every picture of him, he's courtside at every single Lakers game. He's been to over 5,000 NBA games, and he always has a Scandinavian model that's like 6'3 with him.

Mark Cuban? No, the guy whose house it is. Oh, okay. Another guy's house. Oh, you weren't allowed to go to actual Cuban's place. No, God, no. But this guy's probably cupped more breasts than any man on earth. Cuban?

No, no. Stop trying to put smut on fucking Mark Cuban's name, dude. Sounds like you're using like a, you're talking about Cuban in like a different. No, I'm talking about the guy whose house this is. James, whatever the hell his name was. That's crazy. So were you really like, they were like. James Goldstein.

Oh, okay. Whose house it was. Makes sense. What do you mean it makes sense he's jewish why why does uh why were you not allowed at mark cuban's place he's not living we weren't not allowed at mark cuban's place we were going to do this interview with a billionaire they wanted to do the interview at like the w hotel and pat be like, no, we need to do this at a fucking awesome place. And so originally... Did he say that to Mark Cuban? No, he said it to Tyler.

Tyler had to call up Mark Cuban and be like, yo, we're not doing that at a fucking hotel. We're not doing it at the fucking W, you broke boy. Dude, but Mark Cuban just rolled up solo. Really? He's just a billionaire, just rolled up five minutes early. You probably think he rolled up solo. He's just a billionaire. Really? Just rolled up five minutes early. You probably think he rolled up solo. He probably had

snipers in the trees. No, he didn't. 100%. They had just seen Jeff Bezos out and Jeff Bezos did have snipers in the trees and Pat Bev brought it up to Cuban before the interview and he laughed at Jeff Bezos for having snipers in the trees. Well, I think Jeff Bezos is significantly

richer than Mark Cuban. He's the richest. Yeah. Or he buys for it. Probably by like $100 billion. And Elon. Yeah. Yeah, his wife.

His wife is the richest lady in the world. She's the original homie hopper. She originally. She divorced. She's broken up from the teacher she married. His wife? Was he the richest teacher? Yeah.

Bezos' wife. They got divorced. When they got wife? Was he the richest teacher? Yeah. He's Bezos' wife. They got divorced. When they got divorced, she became the richest woman on earth. Then she married a high school teacher. Now they've split up. And now he's the richest man. Oh, I don't think he's teaching dodgeball anymore. Yeah.

Like a slur, by the way. You know, it's interesting you say that because if I think about what I was supposed to do in my life, it's probably teach. Yeah. And yet there was that silly fucking aphorism,

you know, those who can't do, teach. Teach, yes. And, those who can't teach, teach Jim. Right.

And that saying, I couldn't get past it. And also for the fact that teachers just don't make any money in this country. That guy has to be the richest teacher by almost all the money that he has.

He probably had a prenup. Even with some prenups, don't you get like a little taste? I'm certain that he probably threw him a bill. No, I don't think she gave him a million dollars. She's probably like, yeah, you can have one of my 50. He must have probably gave him a million to 10 million dollars bill.

She gave him a bill. She didn't. Of course she did. He must have been incredible in the bedroom. Yeah. For her to marry him. No, not sure. Jewett.

Any relation to Goldstein? Any relation to Smitty's text um the i was i was thinking though that saying that ruins that that scares so many people away from the job of teaching and also it occurred to me um you know those who can't do teach i'm not so sure that I want to do anymore. You're done doing? I'm pretty much done doing. I'm just getting started doing. I don't know how much more I want to do.

Doing is not fun. Doing is awesome. It's way better than teaching. There's no security in doing though. You want to have like a, you want to be a mentor. Teaching has the most security of all time. You just get tenure and cannot give a fuck anymore. Yeah, pretty much. You could just phone that shit in. Yeah, you just get a

big-ass book with all the answers in the back. Also, who are you to say that you do? I do constantly. I don't think people... I don't think there are many people who do less or don't do. I do. I work constantly. Your version of doing is giving Francis one joke.

I work every single minute of the day. Your doing is Francis saying your jokes out loud and then saying you did. Yeah. I get a couple hours at night, usually 1 to 3 a.m. where I'm not doing. No, that's when you are doing. You get like four hours a week of doing.

No. 15-minute increments. You're doing so little that you're pretty much teaching. That's when you are doing. You get like four hours a week of doing. No. 15 minute increments. You're doing so little that you're pretty much teaching. That's crazy. You are on the verge of a teacher. That's crazy. You might as well just call yourself a teacher at this point. You're not a teacher, but you're like an assistant teacher.

That's crazy. A substitute teacher, kind of. All I do is do. You're just rolling in a fucking TV to being like, we're watching Animal Planet. That's you, man. Honestly, and the way that you were kind of like telling Francis how to do the joke, that's teaching. Yeah. You were a kind of a non-doer teacher.

That's because society prevented me from doing it. So you were castigated to the role of teach, of a teacher. Yes. They shot me down. Yeah. Society wouldn't let you do, so you taught. There were some choices made that i was confused on like some people who replaced me and why you know what i want to air that out no it was just

like there was so many people that just went up there and were like uh i don't really know what to say i guess let's just roll the award it's like well why why was i cut why did they need why do we need to hear that it's important how angry you are at this you need to be fueling this anger like hold it in your hand like a fucking hot coal you got the best of all worlds you got the credit he had his cake and ate it everyone said sass should have performed i wanted to go up brother i wanted to i wanted to be under the lights get the mic in my hand and everyone so you got you got sympathy credit real and expectations and like uh and moral high ground you got to be sanctimonious about it and be like i should have been put i should have

been you got to undress uh it's true higher up would have been much more underwhelming if i did go up right with no fanfare. Yeah. But you got to have a whole storyline about it. I think that you made out pretty fucking good. Pretty well. Pretty solid. Pretty good.

How was your time in Massachusetts? It was great. Yeah? Saw the fam? Saw the fam. Just kind of chilled for a while. My cousin got engaged. That was cool.

Dude, I was at my... Your buddy got engaged. Mike got engaged. My Mike got engaged. Shout cool dude I was at my your buddy got Mike got engaged my Mike got engaged shout out to him best Mike in in Wildwood New Jersey

yeah which is the most distilled Philadelphia and Philadelphians people who go to Wildwood are like they think everybody

from every other Jersey shore town is like hoity toity and like over the top we went out drinking for the entire day oh yeah that's what we did yeah it's like a it's this wildwood is a scumbag town proud scumbags like true fucking distilled fucking scumbags and we're out all night fucking dancing drinking people were very cool let us have our

space but we were like kind of in a dance circle and some guy came and my wife's there dancing and some guy came up to me and was like, yo, is this your girlfriend? I was like, no, it's my wife. And he's like, oh, all right.

And he came back one second later. He's like, yo, can I get one dance with her? What? I was like, no. What the fuck? He was like, come on. One dance with her.

Was this like a fan or was this a random dude? Random dude. He was like, come on. One dance with her. Was this like a fan or was this a random dude? Random dude. He was like, come on. One dance with her. I was like, no. And then he was like, fuck you. Like he fucked me.

Fuck you. Holy shit. What? I couldn't believe it. That's crazy. That's crazy crazy he might be the best man he true you guys have to duel he i i immediately like drew my revolver yeah no no no no no shot him dead in the floor like frank you have to drop him uh no i was just i i was like what what is happening that this is such a philly scumbag, real ass distilled place that they don't recognize a woman's autonomy.

Oh, yeah. Asking the dude for permission. I'm like, let me dance with your wife. That's crazy. No. Let me know. Come on. Just one dance with your wife.

Do you want to have a slow dance with her? What was his? What were? It was like 1980s Jersey Club music. It was like... And he wanted to... He was like, just one dance. Those songs don't end. Right.

It's just one loop. He wanted... The one dance would have been four hours of just... At first, he thought he could politely ask his way into a pre-monocto situation it's like what the hell are you talking about dude this like upside down pineapple like swinger from fucking south jersey it just i'd never experienced anything like that i had to like i was like on the verge of a blackout and i had to keep on like telling that story to sew it into my memory so i could bring it back and like share it with

more people because I could not believe that's so funny fuck you it's strange you know you look back it sounds as if he's coming from a different era when he says hey Sparky say mind if I cut in? Mind if I step in?

Mind if I cut in? Is that something that I was always under the impression that was only something that happened at like weddings. Yeah, or like a, have this dance. I don't think like, I don't think at like

a New Jersey club, you're like, mind if I cut in on this one? Yeah. I can see him pushing the wrong side of your shoulder and you turn around

just as he slides. Yeah. That's like a James Bond move. Your wife just has no say. Like, oh, I guess I'm dancing with this guy now. Oh, I said it's okay. It's like one dance. It's one dance.

One dance? How many camels will you give me? Yeah, what's the dowry look like? How many sheep? Can I get a fatted calf? Promise us a large portion of his herd. Where are the acres that I will receive? You get one shorefront property in North Wildwood, in Wildwood Crest.

We need this. He promised us his finest cattle. Yeah, that's crazy. It was the craziest. I truly couldn't believe it. That's so funny. After confirming that it was my wife. I'm surprised that that didn't escalate more

because it sounds very I would have dropped a fool for sure. Not good. And dude, at this bar at this bar, it was like some of these distilled Philly guys that were coming up at the beginning. They're like, yo, I can't believe Roan is in the woods.

Like, you're in Wildwood? What are you doing out here? Big ass, like Jack, like ron is in the woods like you're wildwood what are you doing out here big ass like jack like six five dudes with bowling shirts on like who shook your fingers with two hands because they had like a baggie between these two fingers like and they're like anything you need so at that point like this guy like i probably could have really dudes really love throwing that around oh yeah anything anything you need let me know i just love getting stuff for people i could have really loved throwing that around. Oh yeah. Anything, anything you need. Let me know. I just love getting stuff for people. I could have whistled in like the bowling shirt. Mafia could have,

would have like whipped this guy's ass. But I, I, I chose to be like, what is happening here? They do love to say anything you need. Your time with mook was all they do is they just throw it around. You need anything.

You call me like that. Yeah. I was at a bar when I went out with, so I went out with my cousin and her fiance and his brothers and my sisters it's not this doesn't matter and uh and we went out to a bar and we had we had also been drinking all day and i was like really fucked up and these dudes kept coming up to me and eventually this dude came up to me and he was like he's like dude i just wanted to say like big fan he's like i don't really fuck with barstool at all like i don't i don't really like watch any barstool shit and then he proceeded to ask me like deeply deeply rooted barstool

questions that no one would know unless you're watching like barstool radio every day like he's like so dude nate's speech was crazy he was like was that do you have any backlash for that and he's like what's kelly keegs like in real life? And I'm like, dude, you're talking about like you. You're not asking me about like part in my take. You're asking me about like the deep roots of Barstool. And he's like, but I don't really fuck with Barstool at all like that. And people will justify

it. They're like, I'm actually I'm a Dave guy. Yeah. Barstool, but I consume every word. Yeah. Review here and there. It is preposterous how people do that. Whatever happened to Because We Got High? Is that show not happening anymore?

They stopped on the second round of views. They were going through the alphabet. Fran and Rhea resented each other for getting engaged so close. In a way, was that like cannibalizing the thrill of getting engaged? Was it like behind the scenes? Was there any... Do you think their fiancés actually can be a fly on the wall?

It is so bizarre when people are like that. There is a subtle art to giving someone respect and I really think it's a flyby. I think I had it last night as I was flying back from Los Angeles. I saw Kai Sennett at

the airport. Oh shit, really? And like going through security, there was like nobody there. He was there with like six... Do you know who this dude is? Just one streamer of the war. No, I was going to pretend as though I didn't let you guys finish. He's a streamer from New York and he's just like the biggest streamer in the world.

Like he just is massive. He's the guy that remember that used Union Square, Riot? That was him. Giveaway. That was him. He like can guy that, remember that used Union Square, Riot? PS5 giveaway. That was him. That was him. He like can command the biggest. And I like, I don't think I would have been starstruck

if I saw like fucking LeBron James as much as, or I was just like excited. I was like, I don't know how, like try and get a picture with him, but it was going through airport security and I was just so low key

just being like, bro, you're a legend, dude. And he even came back even more low key. Like, thank you so much, bro. And I think that's the perfect interaction with a

celebrity. You said you're a legend? Bro, you're a fucking legend, dude. There was like an Asian kid waiting to take a picture. He's like 19. I'm like an old grown man. Like, bro, you're fucking low-key. You're a fucking low-key. Like real low-key. By the way, I know Drake if you ever need anything.

Alright, let me, I'm going to one-up you. Like, real low-key. By the way, I know Drake, if you ever need anything. All right, let me... I'm going to one-up you, though. In terms of low-key interactions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this was a couple years ago, probably like four years ago, and I was in the West Village walking out of a coffee shop,

and I had my coffee, and Louis C.K. was with his daughter, and they were walking up the steps, and I opened the door and held it for him and he went thank you and i went like that that's actually funny because uh my raised my cup to him my dad is he knew i knew yeah i was a fan yeah and i thought he i almost thought he said to me telepathically thank you for allowing me to walk these streets uh as an equal and a friend with my daughter he probably was thinking that i was thinking that yeah my dad

had did the exact same thing with larry david saw him in martha's vineyard and he just held the door open gave him a nod yeah nod larry david's the one that i don't know how i would react because you can't you really can't contain yourself and you can't, he like, it's known that he does not want anyone to talk to him. That's a little bit much though. If you're, you've spent your life filming yourself

and putting it on television to great financial gain, but you're like, no, no, I want, I need my privacy. It's like, I think that there's,

I don't mind people coming up to me and talking to me, but I do think that these flyby interactions, the way that the three of us just described, are the best way where it's like, I think that there's, I don't mind people coming up to me and talking to me, but I do think that these flyby interactions, the way that the three of us just described, are the best way where it's like you give them the credit. It takes no energy for them to go throughout their day. You don't stop them. You take nothing from them.

You're not an energy vampire. You give a little bit of energy to them and make it easy as fuck. But at the same time, I don't think Larry David can be like, I hate when people come up to me. Anything that's like his character. It's like who he is. Yeah. I think that it's a little bit...

I think he's a dickhead a little bit for that. Alright. I love Larry David. I think he's the best ever. Okay. As Nate said, you have shane gillis's dick in your mouth too this is tense i was talking about larry david it's got tense yeah i think that when louis ck looked at you i think that he was kind of passing the torch of redheaded comedians i think he was too i think that i think that he was kind of like really

fall out of shape though to follow in his footsteps. Consciously. He's so goddamn funny. I was watching it. I watched a bunch of his shit this weekend. I heard that he has when everybody else gets like makeup to come in between their sets. I heard he has a PA come out and stain his shirt between sets. Shovel him, yeah. Yeah, they just

tousle his hair. I've actually heard that as well. I think he does do that. That's an affect. I don't respect just like he's like pinto ron he just stands in front of the mustard yes but if it's in if it's manufactured then it does it submarines the entire disheveled like um i don't think it's like a wild out of bed fact well then okay you just how the hell you don't cut it we'll cut known fact. Well, then, okay. How the hell do you know? We'll cut it.

We'll cut it out. No, no, no, no, no. We're not protecting him. That happened enough in Hollywood already. This is going to destroy his career. You know what, Louis? The moment where I was like, oh, when he did the Shane's Pod and did the Presidents,

he's so smart and so well-read that he couldn't help himself you know and to me to have that level we all know given how articulate he is on stage that like this guy isn't as much of a schlub yeah as he would have us believe yeah but to hear that i mean he's read a biography of like 30 of the 45. Yeah, like Franklin Pierce or some shit. Yeah, and has incredible depth of knowledge on so many of them. Yeah, I lost the whole idea of him being like a slob.

Yeah. Mark Norman told a story on a podcast where he said that he was opening for him and they were hanging out in his hotel room and he farted. Farted and he got mad. He got furious. He got mad, yeah. I was like, oh damn. I would think. I would laugh. At a fart? I always laugh at a fart. I don't really get mad at farts. You don't laugh at a stinky fart.

You laugh at a loud fart. But a stinky fart is not funny. It's kind of funny. Full of sound and feeling signifying nothing. not funny. It's kind of funny. No, it's not. Full of sound and feeling, signifying nothing. The reaction it gives to everyone is funny. It was like, oh, that's hilarious. Like that came out of my body.

And now you guys are all running away because it smelled so bad. Francis farts on stage and he's like, that was Sass, by the way. Sass gave me the way. Yeah. Sass gave me that one. Sass told me to do that. That wasn't me. We got to go to pod two? All right,

we're rotating. Say less. How much do you guys need to do? We have like three more minutes. Are we done? We're done?

We're done? Can be done. We can just be done. We'll sit. We'll just get to 2.58 or whatever. Because they got to come in here. It's a pretty tight schedule. Have they just told you?

Get out? Wait. So as we're leaving, we're still recording? Yeah, plug it. When we go to live shows, Francis is going to do our Wednesday shows with us. Oh, hell yeah.

Francis. That's honored. I'm honored. I appreciate that. How are we going to do our Wednesday shows with us. Francis. That's honored. I'm honored. I appreciate that. How are we going to start that? That's just good ass chemistry. Yeah, thank you. Within the month.

Within the month. Yeah, this month. In September, we're going to start doing live shows on Wednesdays. Francis will be part of them. We got to figure out what time we want to do because we were going to do 1 p.m. But apparently there's some other show that's using that time slot now. We're going to do 12. We're going to do because we were going to do 1 p.m. But apparently there's some other show that's using that time slot now.

We're going to do 12. We're going to do 11. It's just fucked. Dates? Yeah. By the way, I know I've given Sass a lot of shit for how expensive his ticket prices are, but out and about actually charges an arm and a leg.

Also, our tickets are the exact same price. No, no. They have the same agent. They're all the same price. It is. He'd have you believe that. It's exactly true. He's not.

He's tails out of school. I'm in Phoenix, Arizona, at the House of Comedy. That's September 17th to 18th or 18th and 19th. And then New York City. Big dates. Big dates. Big dates. Gotham. Running it back. 17th to 18th or 18th and 19th and then New York City big dates big dates big dates Gotham running it back. I got a little sass opening for me.

He's going to take all my jokes instead of letting me have them and that is September 28th and 29th and then I'm on to fucking Providence, Boston, Toronto and somewhere else. Tickets at Francis Ellis dot com. Providence, Boston, Toronto, and somewhere else. Tickets at francisels.com. The hero we need door. Anything else, Sass?

No dates for you? I got Arlington, Tampa coming up. I have Arlington as well. Those are going to be in Tampa. I want to say he's getting moved. Not fully, like it's going to move up. It might be Saturday, Sunday. That's what I'm trying to say,

but I'm not sure yet. But yeah, get tickets for those. Arlington is in two weeks. It's going to be fun. Drafthouse. Little Sasquatch website.com. All right. See you guys next week.

See you guys next week. I didn't care if I died. This is so fucked up, guys. Honestly, I'll eat someone. Sleep tight. Welcome to season two of Barstool's Most Dangerous Game Show. I'm not stoked to be here. I'm not happy. I'm not pumped. This just doesn't seem fair.

This is a nightmare. This is an absolute nightmare. I want $25,000. I want the fucking money. Oh, man. That's one. It's a whole new season. It's a whole new game. Oh, my God. Yeah!

This has broke a lot of people. Your heart stops. The reality really hit, but there's no turning back. Guys, I can't do this. I'm sorry. This is Barstool's Most Dangerous Game Show. Presented by Mattress Firm.