Son of a Boy Dad - The Dog Days of Winter | Son of a Boy dad #446

Episode Date: October 20, 2026

High Noon: Visit https://highnoonspirits.com to find High Noon near you Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://Quince.com/BOYDAD. Venmo: Spend your balance instantly with the Venmo Debit Card, with no monthly fee or minimum balance. Learn more at venmo.com/card Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to https://Wayfair.com to shop all things home. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad free on Amazon Music. All right, friends, this episode of Son of a Boy Dad is brought to you by High Noon. High Noon is going to be your drinking companion on whatever weekend you go to. This weekend, I have a wedding, and you guarantee that I'm going to be on that dance floor, high noon in hand, cutting a rug, because it is the perfect self-time. celebration beverage. I would say that any wedding that knows to bring high noon to the bar is a wedding that is probably going to result in a very happy marriage because it's all about making

sure your guests have a great time. And the priorities are right. Exactly. And you'll be sipping those delicious tequilas. I'm a more of a vodka man myself. I love the fact that there's no added sugar. There's only 100 calories. Gluten free and none of that disgusting malt that we taste in so many other things that leaves your mouth feeling awful. Malt is a, criminal thing that that people are putting in beverages luckily high noon doesn't have anything to do with it it is clean it is delicious sometimes you feel bad after certain celtzers and you never know why it's the malt i'm telling you that right now it's not high noon and uh high noon is always going to be your friend i'm going to be sucking them down at the wedding and uh hopefully you should be too

i will if you're planning a wedding or a tailgate or whatever event that goes well with a little bit of of drinking. No, libation. Go to high noon spirits.com and enjoy the episode. All right. All righty, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it is 1.15 p.m. It's October 19th.

We are here live from HQ3. And my God, do we have a lot to talk about Jalen Hertz passed away this morning? Oh, man, dude. No, no, no, man. Of course he didn't. Jalen Hertz. Well, did he? Yeah, like if he did, we ain't cutting this.

If he dies, we are not going to cut that. We're obviously going to cut that. No, if he dies, you're going to have to live with the shame of that. It's not. Well, if he dies, then you guys are going to look like scumbags for laughing at me. I caught my laugh. I laughed in a way that was, I can't believe you said that. Roan was laughing hard.

I think you should either way. lose your job for what you said. Whoa, that's crazy. I think that's, well, you want him to die. I'm going to start a podcast with the guy on the NFL network.

Schrager. Yeah, yeah. We're going to join forces. Talk ball or just talk, talk strictly Jalen Hertz. Oh, no.

I mean, this is a terrible season where nobody should even be paying attention to football. I agree. This is as sad as it gets. It's brutal. I mean,

our quarterback could die. Our quarterback is like, literally like, it's terrifying. Who do you think is to blame here? Who do you think is going to lose their job? The doctors. The doctors?

These foul doctors that made him stay up for 36 hours and then flew him back and forth across the Atlantic. But do you realistically think it was the doctors that did that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the doctors in sports are usually the people that are like that he's not allowed to play. And then the coach is like he's playing like miracle. Oh, you're trying to put it on Siriani? Well, I'm, I don't know who else there is to put it put on it. Well, I think that he also might be a very, a driven brother hurts. He might be like, I'm playing in that fucking game.

I don't care. I'm a competitor. I'll leave it all out on the field. I'll die on the field. Would you have died for college lacrosse, Francis? No, no, no. Like, if they told you, you have to stay up for 36 hours in order to play against Syracuse or some shit. Like, would you do that?

Or would you be like, I think I'm just going to skip this one? My senior year, we were playing in the Ivy League tournament. It was the semi-final game against Penn. and I'd finally worked my way back into the starting lineup. And I told my coach ahead of time, we had this take home final for this English class that I was taking. It was like, I think it was called the Great American Novel. And the final, you could either choose to do this final from the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. or from the hours of 5 p.m. to 9 a.m.

You got to choose. And it took that long, like it took a long time. Well, yeah, I mean, it was a very long final. And everyone did the math and was like, well, if you do it overnight, you'll have more time. Yeah. Because 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. is 16 hours versus having eight hours during the day. Yeah, yeah. So I think the vast majority of people took it overnight.

And I let my coach know ahead of time. I was like, I'm going to be up all night taking a final. There's nothing I can do about it. I have to do it this time. And he was like, understood. And then I had to hand it in at, they didn't open the office until 8 a.m. So I finished the final at like 7.30, went to the office, waited, dropped it off at 8 a.m. Then immediately rushed down to the where we were taking the bus from the locker room to the fucking Cornell.

and because it was there and he benched me for the first quarter of the game for showing up late because I had to wait to hand in my final and not only that I didn't play in the first quarter and then for the remaining three quarters I was a zombie

yeah because I had stayed up all night yeah you're just getting more tired they should have let you only play the first quarter yeah right right they should just suspended you for the last three quarters yeah exactly get that last little bit of juice out of you dude I remember so my parents are incredibly like reasonable people whenever my whole life coming to games they were never the

parents that were like ref you're a fucking nightmare you know like i remember yeah like they never they would just sit quietly and be like yeah you know they were nice my dad i told them that i was being benched for this for like a completely obligatory academic requirement a final of my senior spring and he was like quit the team on the phone i was like dad yeah you know i mean i was still of the age where like anything he said i i cared deeply and thought it was true and he was like that's the most ridiculous thing like walk away like we literally have two games like yeah i can't yeah that would be an abrupt ending did you think about you were close to doing it no look you know you just accept shit when you're in college sports.

You can't quit on the team. There's a second semester, right? He doesn't seem like you have any power in professional sports either. Right. How do you tell a professional athlete and adults, you got to say it for 36 hours? Are they holding his eyes open? Hold on a minute.

Let's talk about it. Clockwork orange, bro. Maybe they're crying a shit open. I would be like, I'm going to go to bed and you're not going to know about it. I think he was at the hospital. Or they just have him playing Mario Kart for 36 hours? I bet you that they said we suggest that you stay up for 36 hours because we are concerned about this. And then it was his choice after that to go play in the game.

I don't know. I mean, regardless, it shouldn't have been. I don't think the doctors were like, we're keeping you up for 36 hours with a combination of amphetamines and. Well, yeah. Fucking energy drinks. And then, by the way, we're going to get you straight on the plane and you have to play. Well, I think they made him say up when he was already there. Oh, so they did it in England.

So I think he was supposed to sleep on the ride there, which he probably couldn't. There's no way he got a clean eight on the whatever eight hour flight it was. His sleep score certainly wasn't a 91 like he was supposed to date. But then they made him stay up in London and go play and then fly right back. Yeah. That fucking... All of those things he could have died. Those blood clas were probably zooming through his body.

Like fucking critters. Well, yeah, I mean, if he had one in his leg and then he comes back and he's got a bunch in his lungs, that means it had to have got worse. I mean, he must have been screaming on that flight. I can't stay up for 36 hours, period. No. And then fuck playing a football game. I just can't do it. Imagine having to do the tush push where you have blood clots in your legs and you haven't slept in two days.

And they're like, all right, tush push time. I'd be like looking over at Sieriani with tears in my eyes. I'd call another play. Sorry, Jalen, we need it. I mean, one and a half. Oh, fuck. I mean, you guys are like, like, they should really just be like the Eagles aren't in the NFL for the rest of the season. Relegate them?

Yeah. He should have stayed in England. To make him fly back is insane. I just feel like someone's going to either lose their job. Well, someone's definitely going to lose their job. But it's a matter of how many people. How many people? And honestly, it's a matter of, like, if he's going to, like, sue the Eagles.

Which he could. And he could. make a lot of money. But the coach is gone. Offensive coordinator's going to be gone. You think Siriani's definitely gone? Yeah, and I think they're going to start offloading people. But if I'm Siriani, I'm like, he had blood clots.

What are you going to fire me for? Why are you firing me? I mean, I guess there's going to be a whole investigation, I would assume, into like what went down. These days, you know what their, you know what his middle name is, by the way? Really? Everything. That's funny, too.

Yeah, yeah. Very fucking funny. I'm glad we both had it. Lives are at stake, okay? This is very disgusting to say. Watch us win the division despite it. I mean, it's up for grabs. I mean, you guys could very easily still win the division.

The Eagles have lost four in a row in there in second. I mean, that division is still wide open. We're in the hunt. Yeah, definitely. You play the Cowboys on Monday night. It would be really funny if you guys still made the playoffs with just no one. Just how bad of the Cowboys? How about the Rams?

How about it? I mean, the Giants almost won with nine. The Giants literally might win the, they might win the division. They should, they should. Giants are fun. They're fun. They are fun.

They're flucky. They're fun to root for. Yeah, it's a fun, it's a fun team. But they benched Cam Scadaboo. That fucking dinosaur. Wonder why? That Neanderthal. I think he was fumbling too much.

And I think it's just their version of the Paris protests against a white guy just sit his ass down. I saw a video of the pairs protest yesterday. This was actually, I remember I was going to talk about this on the podcast because I was cracking up. Well, I'm glad I said way to that. This was like late at night. I was on Twitter and I saw a video of the people protesting and then someone panned over to the, you guys see this, the people standing, guarding the Tommy Hill Figure store. No, I didn't.

I was just imagining Francis outside of like the cologne shop. Spraying the colognes. That's not coming out. Or with like a lighter in the cologne and a lighter like trying to ward. off a wall protesters. There was like, the streets are like on fire. There's like cars tipped over and then there was just like five dudes outside of the Tommy Ophigar's store.

Just post it up just like you're not getting in underwear. Their underwear bands coming up above their pants. Dude, what is going on? It's happening in Milan too. I mean, I saw videos from both cities where the looting is just like, full blown. I guess it's just the price of the cost of living. People are really outraged. That's what's going on.

I started as an education thing, I thought. I think it's everything. It was, it's education and the cost of living and then, yeah. I don't think. Apparently, this happens all the time in Paris, though. Yeah. And then it actually works. Like, they actually are like, all right, we'll bring the cost of living down.

Like, we kind of have to now. Yeah. Don't take the whole city on fire. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's just like in a young man to want to, like, burn a couch. And it's like some people go to Penn. state and just to celebrate wins, losses and like Joe Paterno stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Some people live in Paris and they have to like fight the government with Molotov Cocktail. But it's just within a young man. I think it's really not like about, I think it's more about your circumstances. Bro, there's a there's a counter strike team that's based in Paris called Vitality. They're like the best, they're like one of the best teams. Their shit got their shit got fully rated. They were posting videos of like their trophies like out on the street and stuff.

Or digging the PCs up, just destroying them. What? Yeah. That's all, yeah, a guy getting... It's affecting everybody. His comic book shop getting rated. It's like, what the fuck are you going to elude a comic book shop for? It's just such like a nasty thing to do.

That's just like a guy's hobby that he wants to share with the world. These are worth three dollars. Yeah. What are you going to do with them? Read them. They're burning them. It's probably infuriating. Fuck your comics.

They're graphic novels. It's clearly like a privately owned business. Also, I laughed at the time. a video of like the women taking their suitcases. They're like pink and light blue suitcases through the protests. Imagine this is your week that you went to parish, Francis.

You see the same sweet? You know how much I fucking spent in there? It would be so nice to get half that shit for free. Oh yeah. It would have been you know screaming whatever chance they want to me to. I would have been returning shit during them. Yeah. Looted and then take it back. No, I don't have a

receipt. You guys never gave me one. You said you were going to email it but I never got an email. Just doubling down on the cash. 500,000 people is a lot of protesters. Wow.

That's how you know shit's fucked. They were outside. And then the Saints tweeted today and they were like, Next stop, Paris. Who's playing there? Saints and Cowboys? Just cancel the game.

Like no one wants to see that game in the first place. And now we're going to send a bunch of guys to a city that's like literally on fire. Maybe the NFL's got to tighten it up a little bit, right? Why is Jalen Hertz playing in London in the first place? Maybe this is exactly what Paris needs. A football game is basically a riot.

That's true. You think this is going to be what brings it all? I don't think the Cowboys or the Steelers Saints is going to be the one that unites the city. Yeah, you need an intro. Maybe if we got like Rams Bills. Yeah, AFC East or something like that. I think Rams Bills could get people to kind of tone it down and be like, all right, this is her watching.

We're watching greatness right now. This is history. This is worth waiting on the Chanel store. Saints Steelers, they're going to start lighting more shit on fire. This is fucking awful. Aaron Rogers is definitely not going to like it.

He's not going to be happy about what's going on. If I'm Aaron Rogers, I'm like, I'm not going to, like, I would just start being like, well, blood clots are an issue now.

Like, we're not traveling. I guess they have to travel regardless, so it doesn't really matter. Yeah, but a perfectly tuned ass getting a blood clot. What do you think that's due to?

You know? Exactly. Read between the lines. GLP ones. I don't know what that is. What is that? Clearly the vaccine, you fools. Oh, right.

Okay. Right, right. You absolute fools. It all comes back to COVID. Are the saints playing there because they're like, it's like a French, they kind of have a French flair to them with the floor de Lee and all that. And the, yeah, whatever that language they speak down in New Orleans. Creole.

Creole. Yeah. The saints are a pretty like religious org, right? Yes. Like the ownership, they're very involved with like the Catholic Church. There's a bishop that's their defensive coordinator. Yes, yes. They have some, yeah.

So I think they're like, we're going to Paris to see the Notre Dame. The Notre Dame. Notre Dame. The Notre Dame. There's no chance that it's actually throughout the entire city, right? It was only probably like a couple blocks. 500,000 protesters is, I would assume they're covering a lot of ground. But people are.

going to work in Paris today, right? Like, it's not like you have to like... It's a Monday if they have it off. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it would depend on where you work. If you work at the Vitality Counterstrike office, I would assume they have the day off. With Tommy Hillfigures, got to be up and going.

Tommy Hillfigures, they're running. Yeah. Tommy Hillfiger's got deals today. They got a flash sale. President's Day extended. Yeah. That was tough. Watching the videos was pretty fucking wild.

Yeah, I was bad. I mean, they were burning shit down. I saw some little woman standing in front of her store trying to reason with the looters. Oh, yeah. And she was like, this is, you know, she's like, these are my precious, my family goods. Yeah. And they were like, trust me, there's nothing you can do. Yeah.

Just step aside. We're going to break a lot of your shit. We're going to break and take everything. No, no, we're not going to steal. They looked like they were, destroying. It looked like they felt bad for a second. Yeah. She got through to them and then somehow they started like chanting.

And then they just bumrushed her. Once you start hearing the chants, it's over. Do something crazy. Do something crazy. Do the Asher Roth chant. Yeah. It's a, I wonder if it will come for us. I wonder if that will be bit by the same bug.

No. Are you sure that it? Because there was one for, uh, they don't protest here like they do in, in, in, in Europe. Well, we just get the National Guard out. Someone showed a, someone showed footage of the no king's protest, like side by side with the pairs protest. And it's just like 60 year old people just like dancing. No kings. Yeah. Yeah.

No Kings is outside though. There's a no Kings like every like four months. Yeah. And it doesn't it don't accomplish anything. We don't have. We still don't have a king. We're taking the day off to just like the average. I read somewhere that the The average age of a no, king's protester is like 65. Yeah, no, they're old. They're old. Because it's like a very, very peaceful protest.

It's really just more like a day. It's like, it's honestly not far off. It looks like a pep rally. Yeah, it's like family visitation. Go, team, win state, you know, go cougars. I wonder if there's like a prom king of no king.

Oh, definitely. Can you get this no king sash? They got two queens. Prom democratically. elected leader who respects term limits. Prong president. Yeah. But no, yeah, you are right. They don't protest here because they'll just kill them. You think so? I thought I saw some, there was like a pro, like a Brandon Aubrey protest or something and they went up to and they were hitting, like they hit an older

gay couple in New York and came up to their table as they were dining outside being like, say Black Lives Matter, like say it. And I guess, I guess that's, it was like a light version, but that's kind of back. We got to be burning shit down. If there's nothing on fire, nothing's going to change. You think that that won't get enough headlines? No, no. Well, they also tried to find a weak city in Minneapolis,

and since then, Minneapolis has been fortified. Stronger than ever. Yeah, we need to find a stronger than ever. A city that's susceptible. I think we just all go to like Stanford, Connecticut, or maybe not, maybe Bridgeport, and we just have a field day. It would nobody would notice the difference. Exactly.

It's kind of why it's like it's like a violent protest, but it's still peaceful in a way because no one's there. Like, yeah, the government should offer that up as like a peace offering. Yeah, like let's all just take Connecticut. You guys can burn Providence to the government. Yeah, yeah. Remember that Dunkin' Donuts we burned a year ago? I saw it smoking again. Did we not put that out?

How'd that kick back up? Still going. The charred remains of Danny's house were, we're smoldering again. Like when you leave like a like when you leave the fire pit overnight. Yeah. Yeah. Then I blow out the Dunkin' Donuts. Fuck.

I forgot to blow out the Dunkin' Donuts. But I mean, I'm sure someone will try to start a good, good protest like that here. Someone will, but those are all paid organizers. It's like a pretty good job to start to protest. You can make $70,000 a year and only have to work weekends as a protester. It's an extremely good gig. But you got to be able to eat a water cannon every now and that. It's like the whole Atlantic Ocean coming at you at once.

Water canons are funny. It's got to be like one of the most jar. I mean, it says they use tear gas, water cannons, and stun grenades. Imagine getting hit with a stun and then a water cannon back to back. You get hit with the combo. You wouldn't even feel the cannon. Yeah, yeah. Stun.

Yeah. Why am I moving backwards across the pavement? Dude, we shot a video for the World Cup in Paris. There was a riot during that, and we were shooting during the fucking riot. And we're sprinting through the streets and they're throwing fucking smoke bombs. And there's like flashbags and it's like the cops are coming. And we're literally like fucking running. We're just like running through the streets with flashbags.

And it's the world. Cup final. Like, it's not like, it's not even unrest. This is how they celebrate over there. No, no. This is the year they won. This is the year they won. And we were in Paris. And it's the day after Bastille Day. So it's just a peaceful, more peaceful time.

Yeah, it looks very peaceful. I've always wondered what it would feel like to get hit with a stun. Or is a stun and a flash grenade the same thing? Because I know they're different in Call of Duty, but I think... I think a stun grenade is big amount of noise. And I'm sure there's some sort of... percussive effect. And then a flash is more...

Flash is blinding. I would assume most people, they probably don't have flash grenades in a lot of places. It's probably mostly stuns. Yeah, I would say so. From what I know, it's mostly stun. It's harder to get flash.

Me and my friends used to always joke about like if you were to like stun grenade one of your friends, like just like while they're like at home, just drop a stun grenade in their apartment. It was cooking eggs. Yeah. It's like kind of a harmless prank, you know? Well, what does it do?

To kind of destroy your ear? But does it destroy your eardrums? Oh, yeah. Annihilates them? Yeah, that's harmful. That's harmful. I'm remembering vaguely this story. I don't know if it was in a movie or if it was true,

but there was a story of a prank where they, like, opened a guy's door who was sleeping and threw some, like, firecrackers or fireworks in and then shut the door, and it, like, lit on fire. and the kid died. What? Yeah. And that's what you're advocating for for your friends.

Get pranked, pussy. Yeah. Weo-nao-dio-do-do. This is jackass. A harmless prank gone wrong. We're going to kill our friend. Yeah. We thought it was going to be completely harmless.

We sent multiple fireworks into his bedroom. Yeah. I don't know where that was. That's just terrifying. They should just Havana syndrome all these people. Just hit him with a bang of Havana syndrome. What's that? Yeah.

What is that? Isn't Havana syndrome? It's like... Savannah bananas. It's like, can you look this up, Tyler? They call this, that's what they call the Savannah banana fans. The Havana. The Havana.

The Havana syndromes. Yeah. The Havana bananas. That should be the farm team of the Savannah bananas. Yeah, yeah. The Havana bananas. The minor league team. They would be sick.

But I think it's like some kind of bio weapon that like can like silently a collection of unexplained neurological and physical symptoms first. report in late 2016 by US and Canadian diplomats and intelligence officers in Havana, Cuba. So it's like a head and ear issue. It's a piercing high-pitched sound that pops, buzzes, or clicks, and it can like fuck up your memory and your sleep. That sounds like really bad. Severe head pressure, ear pain, vertigo, dizziness, and tinnitus.

Brain fog, memory loss, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and sensitivity to light or sound. use code boy dad Savannah syndrome today. I think I might have that. You think, yeah. I've got a lot of those symptoms. You were in Cuba

as under diplomatic obligations. Yeah, why not just hit the protesters with a little high-pitched Tavana syndrome? Yeah, that's like a mass control thing, right?

Just hit everyone with it at once. That's probably what they were trying to float. Everyone's got a headache. Everyone's walking around. Do you guys have severe head pressure or ear pain? that's one of those symptoms where the second someone says it

yeah yeah you're like yes I do yeah I'm starting to feel it right now I guess there is a little pressure in my head yeah there is pressure is that what I yet I haven't been able to describe it I thought it was a migraine this whole time

I've just been telling people I've been feeling like shit for a long time but I'm so glad pressure was exactly what I was looking for concussion like trauma I have been hearing a weird high-pitched sound now that I think about and popping and buzzing, yeah, no.

I'm getting all that. When girls get a hold of this, you know that they're going to fucking beat it to death. They're going to be like, no, I got Havana syndrome. I got bad Havana syndrome. I got long Havana syndrome. Oh my God. Folks, son of a boy dad is brought to you by Wayfair.

Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products. great value and trusted reviews. Products are hand vetted by product specialists using a 10-point quality inspection. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season. Use filters, customer photos, and more than 20 million verified five-star reviews to confidently find the right fit for your home.

I've used Wayfair. I have to say, I've found amazing deals. I've been a huge fan on furniture that I have found on Wayfair, especially outdoor furniture for my patio. I've got some great stuff there that comes with some like all-weather fabric and it's stain resistant performance fabric and all that I can read up on and the reviews on Wayfair really help. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair rewards.

Join Wayfair rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Oh, fuck. What'd you boys do this weekend? I was up in Cues. Oh, you were Syracuse. Yeah, I was up in Cues for the weekend.

How was it? And Columbus, of course. How'd you like that? Sweet Columbus is amazing. Columbus is a beautiful city. I honestly think of us. The shopping center I was in was stunning. Yeah, I've done that in true there.

Stunning. Did you get to the downtown? That's my third time there. Oh, really? Yeah. Um, no, I got in like an hour and a half before the show. And then I, I got to the hotel. My phone died upon arrival.

And I was looking for my phone charger. No phone charger. Or no, wait, wait. I got the, I got that wrong. Got the timeline wrong. I'm glad you're telling you. Fuck. Okay, God.

All right, everybody. Cut that. Cut that. Let me start from scratch because this is a good story. This is like literally just nothing. a nothing story. So tell. No, I got there.

Phones on 1%. I got to charge my phone. Don't have a phone charger. Uber Eats, Best Buy phone charger. Phone dies. I don't know if the phone charger's coming. So now the show starts in 30 minutes and I'm still dead phone. Don't know how to get to the club.

Don't know. I can't get an Uber or anything. And then I'm like walking downstairs seeing if the guy dropped it off. You can't even get into the Uber app or the Uber. Uber on your laptop anymore because you need the two two two step verification to two two two two factor whatever it is so you're a lockout you're you have no ride no communication yeah you're and then I yeah I ended up just walking around my floor of the hotel I was on and the guy just brought it to the wrong room and it was just sitting outside just sitting outside of another person's

room pretty pretty resourceful yeah yeah to check well because I was like there's no way it's not here yet it's been an hour oh and I and I got it luckily when did the show show was fun got to a lot of new stuff. I couldn't really tell if it went well or not. I was like very, uh, where the people laughing? They were laughing, but I couldn't tell if they were laughing because I was like, well, I wanted to do new stuff. It was one show, one night, very easy, like one-nighter. Um, I need new material really bad. So I was like, I brought like my notes. There was no stool on the stage, though. So I'd put my notes on the ground. And then every time I wanted to do a new joke, I had to lean over to try to like read my notes and then like pick up like I don't want to bring a stool out where was I

going to get the stool this club doesn't have a stool no I'm sure they did may I have a stool there'll be one in a minute it was it was it was it was too in the moment but uh yeah I did a lot new stuff it was fun and then I went to now when I went out to Q's and let me tell you QS was just the time of my life I love it up there you did the funny one up there no no I was visiting my family my sister oh she attends there mm-hmm Yeah, I was closer to to Syracuse. Syracuse is a great school. It was really nice. Campus is awesome.

Great journalism school. Oh, yeah. How did you go, you flew to Columbus, then flew back to New York, and then drove? No, I flew to Columbus, and then I flew to Detroit, and then I flew to Syracuse. Oh, awful. Yeah, really tough.

Probably seven hours of travel for what was a 30-minute flight. Yeah. Brutal. Tough. Yeah, you could have just jet it. Or there was no direct flights. There was no direct flights. Not really that surprising.

to be honest, there's like 15 gates at the Syracuse airport. Yeah, that's nasty. Was it cold as hell up there? That was the main detriment for just windy and cold. It was cold at night, but we went to the football game on Saturday, which was pretty cool. There was people sitting in front of us that were really fucking annoying now, and everyone was mad. That's nasty. The people, we were mad, my family was mad, and then the people in front of us were mad as well.

And I know that because I saw a lady in front of me. was older and she was texting and her font was massive and I was reading it and she texted someone and said you're missing the white trash entertainment sitting in front of us I was like damn

I was mad but I wasn't like that's nasty you were disparaging them that's just mean yeah I mean that is what was their white what flavor of white trash are they popping the top

you're in an indoor stadium indoor stadium the guy pops the top upon arrival they haven't even done the national your top at the fucking dome. Yeah, they didn't even do the national anthem and he's already got the top pop. In late November, you're popping your top at the indoor stadium. And I don't know if I'm not like, like I would say I'm a pretty big Patriots man.

And I've been to Patriots games. And I've been to a lot of football games in general. I don't know if it's like maybe I don't care enough or what it is. But when people like, like, say there's a penalty. And then they are outraged by the penalty. Like, obviously, that's natural. But there was one play where it was like, they were on the one yard line.

And they got, there was a penalty against Syracuse. Now it's first and goal on the one for Louisville. And the people in front of us are like losing their, they're like, you got to be fucking kidding me. And it's like, it's first in goal. Like, you think they're not going to score here? They're still probably going to score. Like, they're going to score regardless if it's second in goal or first in goal.

I find that to be healthy to kind of recalibrate. your fandom. When you see someone who's like a little bit like performatively or embarrassingly too involved, you're like, oh, like do I? I hope I don't ever look that way. But that's what it was. We were, me and my, all my family, we were all saying it was very like performative anger. And it was like from these like two kids, like actual children, but then like their parents as well. It was like they were like it was, they were acting like they were on the Jumbotron the entire game pretty much. I think that people who pop their top

act like they're like a superior class of fan or that they know more ball you don't necessarily know more ball this guy he didn't know any ball he knew no ball there's there's pop toppers those are just people who want to be shirtless

in public you're telling me that guy had no shirt on and he was at the stadium being like what's happening right yeah yeah so who are they no literally which which team's going which direction so there's an offense and a defense no ball this is the one that this is the one that

this is the one that really got me this is the one where I would say I went from being like kind of annoyed to mad there it's like third and five or something Syracuse has the ball they're on like the Louisville's like 20 quarterback gets blitzed big blitz four guys coming for him there's no one guarding him and he like runs backwards and gets rid of the ball and the guy is like the guy sitting in front of us he's like what the fuck you got to go forward and it's like yeah don't you think he wanted to go forward don't you think he knows that he's got to go forward? Like, that's going to be the thing that you're going to yell out about.

So he just discovered football. Yeah. It's like if you watch Steph Curry miss and you're like, you got to get it in the hoop. It's like, yeah, dude. It's the whole point of the game. And they're trying to make him not go forward. Yeah. They stopped him from going forward.

That wasn't an error on him. That's some nice in stadium entertainment. Yeah. And they wound up losing. And then we left at half. Everyone leaves at half. We left at half. They left at half too.

And I was like, you can't be that passionate of a fan and then leave at half. That was a close game too. I know. And look at the first half to the second half. Yeah. 28 to 23 at halftime. No juice in the second half. In the first half, there was like how many points scored, like a 50 fucking points scored in the first half?

And then the second half, there was nine points scored because you guys gave them no energy. How can you bail on the sweet orange? Because we were staying like 30 minutes away and it was already nine. And everyone in my family goes to bed. bed at like 9.30. So it was a night game. Yeah, it was a night game, which kind of sucked. It would have been, I think it would have been more fun if it was like noon.

Did you guys go to any sort of tailgate or anything like that? We like went to like the quad and stuff and walked around before the game, the fun zone, the Toyota fun zone. Did a lot of. There was like a band playing. It was like a band playing Guns and Roses music like in the quad for no, there was no one. And my dad, and we were joking, and he was like, yeah, we got a huge gig this weekend. We're playing the front of the Toyota Fun Zone.

Just the entrance, though. Oh, my God. Your sister's a freshman there? Yeah. How's she liking it? I think she likes it a lot. I mean, it's a really, really nice campus. Yeah.

Like, they have, like, we went to the e-sports facility, which is just in the student area or whatever. It's not like we went out. I didn't make anyone go out of the way. But we walked around and my... My God, they got some proper equipment in there. Yeah. There's an e-sports facility. They got every team.

They have hell of duty, which was a little alarming. Dude, you want to hear something crazy about how specific my Instagram algorithm has become? I have a guy who suggests cool pieces of furniture. Yeah. Every single one of which would be a gift that I would get you. Oh, fuck. I got you guys gifts and I forgot them. What?

Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. That's pretty cool. From Syracuse? No, from Columbus. That's honestly even better. I love Columbus as a city.

Can we guess what they are? Sure. My guess is a Columbus crew like scarf or something like that. It's close. It's not clothing, but it is something you would buy at a Hudson News at an airport. My flight wasn't until like one, so I was just at the airport walking around. Purchasing. stimulating the economy.

Yeah. The esports facility looks like a fucking casino. Bro, it's crazy. With the blue like underlights. They got 4080 super GPUs, $1,700 GPU. Are those kids on scholarship?

Some of them, yeah. What? Yeah. What the fuck? I know. What? Actually, I'm not even really sure for Syracuse.

I know that like, like we have a player on Bush right now who is 18 and he goes to Fisher in Boston and he's on scholarship. So he has to just play in like the college league like once a month and then he gets to play Call of Duty full time for free. Pretty sick. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Another guy in Challenger's he's using it to get like his nursing degree and going to school for free. It's kind of respectable. Isn't that how Dave got into Michigan? Yeah. Yeah. Smash Bros. Dave was competitive in melee before.

Francis, are you like what's your general feeling on the fact that Harry's wearing my gift that I got him, that sweatshirt, but we still haven't seen the LL Bean, even though he clearly got that first. Oh, I was wearing the LL Bean t-shirt all weekend. It's a staple. I didn't see that. You didn't see me. The fact remains.

I'm happy that he's wearing your hoodie. I think it's a really cool hoodie. I like the story of it. I like that the bar. The pub has been open for all that time. I think it's cool. It's embroidered. You know.

as long as one of us has gotten him something that he likes it's a win for the it's a win for this couch yeah you guys have to still you have to continue to guess what you got um Columbus Ohio what are they isn't there there's that one billionaire who like built the whole town Ohio state's there right of course is it Ohio state related

it could be you're getting closer is it a food thing is there any food oh buck eyes I was going to say isn't that a treat? There's a buck eyes. The peanut butter wrapped in chocolate. Yeah, those are good. I would have liked that. It's really like... Can you go back and trade whatever you got for some buck eyes? Or like, can you make them? I should have done that

because it's a pretty bad gift. Yeah. What is it? Tell me. A magnet. My fridge isn't even magnetic. In front of my fridge is literally like fucking plastic. You can't put magnets on it. You're going to have to find somewhere to play. You bought us magnets? It's a magnet of the Ohio State Stadium.

It's so bad. Top down. What do you mean that's so bad? How big are the magnets? They're like this big. Oh, small magnets? Yeah,

for the refrigerator. My refrigerator has wood paneling on the front. Oh, guys, this is. He doesn't have a metal surface. It's beautiful. It matches the cabinet tree. You guys outclassed magnets? You think I would have chosen a...

Can't wait to put it on my oven? How about I buy you guys like some whiteboards or something so you can put it on there? You want to buy me? something on which I can put my Ohio State magnet? What if I got to a nice whiteboard like that for your apartment? The magnet's not going to stick on that? What are you talking about? What do you mean?

Do you know how whiteboards work? You never seen a magnet on a whiteboard? No chance that's magnetic. Did you not go to college or high school? It's like the number, I would say that's probably the number one destination for magnets is a whiteboard. I would have said a refrigerator. Yeah, a refrigerator is number one. You would think.

Or what about a car? A car. Like a bumper sticker? Like engineering or something. Like one of those flat magnets that the sticker magnets. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That could work. Yeah, what about like brio trains when I was a kid?

I used to connect my brio trains with magnets. Yeah, that works. So I'll get you a brio train that you can. No, I want buck eyes. I want those chocolate things that look like hazelnuts. That's really nasty that you guys aren't, like you guys aren't even going to accept my gift. You didn't even bring it.

Because I knew this would happen. I knew this would be the reaction. because it's not a $10,000 cologne. I can't afford to get you guys what you really want. So now you won't even accept my gift. Dude, no joke. So there were two things in a row that popped up. It was this guy, I don't even follow him,

but he goes like eight cool pieces of furniture that I discovered this past week. And he's got really good taste. And one of them, I mean, I think he has good taste. One of them is a full length meal. mirror that is the frame of which is a PSP. Oh, I've seen those. Those are sick. Isn't that cool? Yeah, those are awesome.

I thought that might be cool for you. Yeah, those are sick. Like a deconstructed piece. No, it's like a massive PSP. Like a body, a human-sized PSP. Would you put something like that in your house or is that too on the nose? I mean, no, I would. I just like, it is like, it's a crazy.

Yeah, that's it. So my point in finding this was I was like, I know Harry needs a life size or he needs a mirror. No, I have a mirror at this place. But you don't have a full size. No, I do. Oh, you got one? Yeah, it just was in the apartment when I got there.

We could wrap it. We could wrap it in PSP. Look, I'll get, I'll take the PSP mirror. Does that mean you're no longer filming yourself and your outfits? No, no, I don't know. No, I don't believe you can pause as if that. No, I didn't know. I couldn't think of what you were talking about.

But no, I'm not doing that anymore. Those days are over? They're over. Yeah, they're behind us. Wow. I liked those days. This would go great because I was also looking at a refrigerator that's an Xbox. Yeah.

And it's like an actual size. Can we pull that up? Because I was talking to a guy on Facebook Marketplace. How much is he asking? He's asking for 40, but he wanted me to go to his apartment to get it, which I was like, look. I'll throw in 20 for that. It's a piece of shit already. Just tell them to put it in an Uber courier.

I know, right? That's the right way to do that. That you pay for. It's actually really smart. I never even thought about that. But they make full-sized ones. that are like 600 bucks, which that would be hilarious

if I got rid of my refrigerator to move in the Xbox for a thing. And I have a PSP mirror. That's where it's like people are going to start coming over and being like, you got to like get outside. If you got the Xbox refrigerator, it's a full,

that's bigger than my refrigerator. It looks like a vault. Imagine telling that in the PSP mirror That's like my parents are going to be like you got to There have to be other things now We want to decorate your entire home With video game themed thing I mean that thing is massive

If you if you like moved out And you hadn't told your landlord He's like why the fuck is their Xbox They make a mini one The mini one was the one I was going to get You think we got that for in here? probably yeah the many or the big the big one would be awesome

I'm open to either one if you would cool it down in here a little bit what's up with Pete he's out huh all business Pete what do you mean sounded like they fixed the icy and now they what he came in here and destroyed it again because there's no air

going right now is not any air and my guess is that it's just off but I would like it on because I chose this sweater yeah under the impression we'd have it. That's my biggest pet peeve on the planet. And now I'm hot. Yep. And I don't want to take it off because the shirt I have under it is not presentable. Stupid is not presentable. I'm in the same boat right now. Yeah. I can't present in the shirt that I'm wearing. Yeah. I just, I ratcheted down to 68 the other day.

Like my wife was like, you know, air conditioning season's over. It's not over. It's not over. I woke up in a fucking hot sweat on Saturday morning. They, they jump the gun with the AC. Yes. It's one day where or it's 60 and they're like, pull the ACs out, get rid of the AC. You know what I did? Because I've been upstate. I've been sleeping with my window open up there. Very nice. It is incredible.

I feel like you sleep better with that. I sleep so well. My sleep scores over the last four days have been like an average of 92. I feel like it's actually like you like noticeably feel it. That said, I woke up freezing this morning. Oh, really? It was too cold. Yeah.

Because if you crack it, it's one of those. ones you wind. Yeah, you crank. And it, it opens, you know, like that, not up. And so you crack it a little bit, you get a nice little stream of fresh air. Love that. Mountain air. Love that. You know, but you go too much. It's a gust. You're outside. You're outside. You're outside. You're outside. You wake with icicles on your beard. That's good for the brain, though. I wonder. Dude, I've, I've been having, my life has been great lately. I love that. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, really just been... All right, that's been a good show, everybody.

Who wants to hear this, bro? Who are we? Get depressed again. No, I know. I've just been upstate, and the weather was beyond belief. It's been really nice. It was insane. You know? Should it come to queues?

There was not a cloud Sunday, there was not a cloud in the sky, and it was cool and crisp, but the sun was so strong that as long as you were in the sun, you were warm. Yep. the trees, the foliage. I was playing golf all day. I played 18 holes in the morning. And then I was like, all right, I should stop, watch football, go to the gym, watch football.

I went to the gym, did a little bit of a workout, kept looking outside like, like, what the fuck am I doing in here? Yeah. This might be the last good day like this of the year. I agree. So then I went out back out and played another 18 holes. I like that. I like that.

The 36er. Guys, let's take a second to talk about Quince. You know how you have those pieces in your closet that you just keep on coming back to. You find yourself wearing these things on repeat because they are staples in your wardrobe. The easier something goes with everything, the perfect pair of pants,

the tea that you somehow always reach for, the more often those things are going to be in play. And that's why we have to be messing with our good friends over at Quince. Obviously, this is sweater season. Francis has had a sweater on all episode. And sweaters are something that Quince does incredibly well. because there's high-quality wardrobe staples that are going to be fantastic,

no matter what you're wearing. And I'm talking about organic cotton, merino wool, Mongolian, cashmere. I'm talking about high-end fabrics, and they're going to hug your body and elevate your outfits every time you put on something for Quince. Find your next fall favor to Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com slash Boy Dad.

Get free shipping on your order in 365-day returns, is now available in Canada in the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was son of a boy dad. It's the best way to support the show. There's always that one person that winds of running the entire football operation. He knows how many people are coming.

He knows where the food is. He knows who forgot to get the drinks. He has, against his will, become the guy. Luckily, the VEMO debit MasterCard has your back. When someone says, I'll VEMO you, that money will show up right in your VEMO balance and be ready to use instantly. So when you grab the food with the VEMO debit card, pick up the drinks, get whatever else everybody somehow forgot. And when you get back to the house where the friend who contributed nothing is explaining why the new left guard who is picked up in free agency is the problem, you let them have that.

You have a tailgate to manage. Have your friends send that money, then you can spend that money. Spend your entire balance instantly with the VEMO debit card with no monthly fee or minimum balance. Learn more at Venmo.com slash card. Venmo balance account required to use a balance and get the card, effective November 1st, 2026. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bank Bank, NA. I kind of like, are you guys feeling like you're loosening up the shackles on Sunday football?

Like you're not sitting down for the full 10 hours. I don't think I watched a single minute of football yesterday. I like that. I loosen the shackles a little bit. I loosened the shackles yesterday, too. I was an hour late. I was at like the You know the pumpkin patch

The petting zoo You gotta get outside And then the second game I made a soup During the second games I made a tomato Or a A creamy

Yoki and sausage soup Holy shit Delicious It was amazing That's good You hand roll that yoke Of course Really

Yeah hand cut rolled No way Of course Really? Yeah Very impressive This looks like a guy Who doesn't hand roll his own Noki

Yes Also I'd like to add That I did not hand roll Yeah. There we go. Well, I'm glad we got that. I paid for the better one, though. Oh, I love that. At the grocery store.

If someone come over and roll it. Yeah, yeah. I had a small Nona come over. But to throw out the first batch. But yeah, it's nice to loosen the grip on football a little bit. Yeah. I think I have a development I want your guys opinion on. Let's hear it.

Let's develop. I want a dog. Oh. I really want. a dog. I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Rohn's reaction is so funny. You should get a cat.

No, I would never do such a thing. I'm just going to bring a cat to your apartment. Invite a demon proxy into my home. You're just going to come back upstate and there's going to be like 10 cats in your house. And you'll have to buy a dog to hunt it. You'll get into a Sylvester and Tweety type of situation. Or what's the dog and the cat? Tom and Jerry.

But what about your life do you think? makes you want a dog. It's also not a dog in a cat. What is the dog in the cat cartoon? What is it? Well, there is a dog in Tom and Jerry. You just don't really see him that often. Is it like lady in the, no, it's not lady in the

tramp cat dog. Cat dog, they're on the same, they're attached to. They shit out of each other's mouths. Yeah. I don't know if I'm in on cat dog. Yeah. Isn't there a mean I thought there was a mean dog in Tom and Jerry. That's like a big

Like fucking angry dog. But there has to be one where a dog fights a cat. Has no one thought of this? There must be. Are we just coming up with this now? Or that they're friends. Cat and dog, cat and dog friends. No, I don't know.

I don't want them to be friends. I want them to war at all times like cats and dogs do. I don't know. So they haven't, no one's thought of this yet. Again, this hasn't been done. What the fuck? So. Good on us.

Well, just struck gold. Okay, so let's talk through the dog thing because I really need your advice. First, the first order of business is that there's a litter of puppies that I went to visit. And they are beautiful German short-haired pointers. Can we pull that up? Are you familiar with this breed? It kind of looks like my dog. That's what we thought my dog was.

Definitely. It looks like your dog. Yeah. The short-haired pointer. Yeah. They are bird hunting dogs. You guys know me. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Big time bird hunter, so I would not ever get something that couldn't hunt birds. And incredibly loyal, very smart, but very high energy and need a lot of exercise. They need a lot of exercise. But so do I. True. This is not a dog that I would really bring to the city. So how would you, so you come down to the city to record the podcast and what happens to the dog? Okay, so the guy who bred the beautiful puppies, he has six dogs himself.

Oh. He, you met him. What's a seventh? It's hussy. The guy who, I had a feeling. Is that one of those, the mom? Yes. Wow.

Wow. He owns the mom and the dad, and they're both breathtaking. Yeah, yeah. Beasts. I mean, just beautiful. So he, you can board your dog with him. He's got like a facility. And I would just presumably leave the dog with him for when I come into the city for one or two days a week to do the podcast, whatever.

And, you know, the dog would be living with its mom, dad and sister because he's going to keep whatever. There's two left. There's two girl dogs left. If I get one, he'll keep the other one. That's right. And so I wouldn't feel that guilty. I mean, it's like leaving the dog is actually probably going to make it happier.

It's going to have a blast. If anything, it'll be less happy when it's with me. Right. Which is exactly the type of masochism towards which I gravitate. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that'll be so nice.

The one person on earth whose dog is less happy when it's with his arm. It'd be a perfect metaphor. One on one time. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think I would definitely do that. It seems like a no-brainer.

You want to sit on the couch, smoke weed, and watch football, instead of letting me romp with my mom, mom is right there. I can see my mom outside. I can hear how much fun they're having. They're hunting birds. That is my birthright. Now I'm just secondhand

high. Yeah. Listening to fucking Scott Hanson and talk about the Raiders game. I think that's a no-brainer. Well, it's not so simple. Why? Because we, you know, we travel. We travel a lot. I mean, I would have to

leave the dog with Hussie a lot. Yeah, but that's like the perfect situation. Isn't it? Yeah. It's not like an added responsibility for him. He lives on the grounds and there's, if he has to take care of seven dogs or eight dogs, what does it matter? I know that the dog would be very happy, if not legitimately more happy with him. That's where the dog has lived.

It's first, you know, three months of life or whatever. But I just think, you know, there's a part of me that's like if I am envisioning becoming a dog. owner with the caveat that 50 days of the year of the year maybe more I have to relinquish the dog to someone else is that does that make me eligible or does that disqualify me do you know what I mean I think that's way better than the alternative which is you're bringing the dog into the city where it's going to sit in a tiny apartment correct and especially an outdoor dog yeah meets a lot of exercise I would much rather see that than see like you being one of those people walking around West Village with like a husky and it's 95 degrees out.

Yeah. Did you catch that? You're not supposed to be here. No. There's some dogs that are like taller than leopards. Oh, yeah. Like loose back hips. It's like you are not supposed to be in a fucking city.

Yeah. I mean, I always see people walking around with Australian Shepherds and it's like those are supposed to be like running around in a field. Hurting. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, look, I'm sure among our listeners, we have people who really know dogs well. And if anyone out there has experienced German short hair pointers, I'd be very keen to hear. I previously had an English setter, which is the other marquee bird hunting dog.

These are the two breeds that are really bred to hunt birds. The English setter was amazing. I loved this dog. And its temperament was a little less energetic, I think, than a GSP, as we call. Yeah, yeah. Um, you don't do GAS HP. No, no, no. Everyone gets it.

Yeah. German shirt. The point is... Short hair is one word. I think actually in the breed name they do do it as one name. Whatever. Point is, um, English setters can mold their sort of energy to whatever you're doing. So if you're out on a hike and romping around, they keep up.

They're with you. They're having a great time. But if you, um, if you, also need to be inside, like, they're mellow and kind of happy to be on a couch with you, whatever. So I'm thinking hard about this. By the way, all of this is coming about because I think I'm done with women. Oh, nice.

On the dogs. Nothing against women. I just, I've tried. It doesn't work. So I'm going to go to dogs now. I think that's only fair. Dog sexual. Yeah.

That does answer the question. I mean, it's not like you're ever going to give up your spot up. you know like if you were like say you married like six or off women say you married a really nice guy but he was like if this guy's like I want to live in New Jersey this guy dog this guy dog this guy dog wants to live in New Jersey yeah and like are you going to take this dog in seven years or something like away from its family to a new location where you're always going to have this as a home base where well that's a good question I mean I think that no matter what But whatever the next home, me and this guy would have.

This guy, dog would be somewhere in the country. Not, not, I'm not going to like give up my place of state to put all of my eggs in the basket of Manhattan or fucking Brooklyn. Fuck no. Yeah, I just, I'm lonely and I hate it. I fucking hate it. And we're heading into winter. Oh, yeah. Long, dark.

Oh, they're saying it's going to be the darkest winter. ever. Days and nights. Yeah. The loneliest winter too. I heard the Doppler radar said it's going to be a very lonely winter. Yeah. Lonely cold and dark. And rather than you know, sort of fill that hole with women

dog. And porn. Yeah, jerk. I'll just get, well when I have the dog, I'll be watching a lot more porn. Yeah, of course. I mean, we're going to, I'm going to crank and hog three times a day. But I are Satters are cool about it. They'll just like kind of like going to the other room. They give you privacy.

I can match this. You say place. Place. How long of a goon session do you think you're about to go for? How long am I placing for? You jerk off. You go run with the dog for a little bit. Come back.

They'll know. First one of the day, four minutes. Second one, eight. Third hour. A couple hours. It's like when there's a hurricane, they'll smell it before you even know. They'll know. Feel it in the bones.

Oh, he's probably about the. He's bored. He's bored and hungover. It's going to be a lot of placing today. Born and hungover is a lairons. Oh, no. I might as well just stay in the crate all fucking ways. He's going to be screencasting off his phone to the TV.

He's drawing the blinds. All right. Just get me to Hussey. Yeah. Yeah. Are you going out of town again? No, I'm jerking off today. For a while.

I figured he'd be better here with you guys. Or you just like you got him like on like the leash around a tree outside. Oh, man. Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, I think I'm thinking hard about it. I hate. my life without a dog. I'm obsessed with dogs. Yeah, he needed a dog. I couldn't, I couldn't,

I couldn't have a dog. Uh, when my wife and I split up, she took the dog with my blessing. I couldn't, I couldn't care for a dog because I traveled too much touring and all that. But now I'm kind of a little more, you know, centered and traveling less and, um, who were you playing golf with? All weekend. Yeah. Different groups of folks. So you were with folks. You weren't like solo. Yes. But when, you were, When golf season ends, literally in a week up there, the course closes. You're going to have to teach the dog to play golf. Yeah.

Well, we'll walk the golf course in the morning and the night and the dog will run, but it will be covered in snow. It's really magical. We get a lot of snow up there. That's going to be so nice. I remember one time I was up to state with Francis. We were doing a show at the Funny Bone in Albany. That's right.

And he had us walk the golf course at night. And it was during the day. It was the coldest I've ever been. I asked you if you wanted a coat. This is such a classic perversion of the truth from you. He was like, we're going to go walk the dog. I'm used to like walking the dog. Like you just like bringing outside for 30 seconds and come right back in.

I'm like, I'm going to go walk the dog. Do you want to come? It's cold. I have an extra coat. You're going to want something other than the shoes you're wearing that have holes in them. Yeah, those shoes. And he goes, he was like, I'm good. No, no, no, I'm good.

I'm good. I got this. He's wearing a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, Patriots windbreaker over a threadbare hoodie at best and again his shoes literally you could see his toes wiggling between the flappy soul

like a hobo yeah and we're walking in snow it was so cold and after three minutes he's like this is the most unhappy I've ever found it was so unbelievably hold what month was it the winter it was probably like January or February or something like that

and did you like bring a road soda or like a joint to smoke or something to hand the walk. So it was just We had shows that night. Companionship and conversation. I don't think we were doing either of those things at the time. No drinking or weed. Damn. So you guys around just a We probably used some nicotine at some

point. A straight edge guy walk and smoked a SIG. Yeah. It was like it was probably 2.30 in the afternoon. Big at that time. Yeah, that's my big SIG phase. Because that's why we had to go on the Lomb Walk. So he was like, well if we only go on a short walk, I can only smoke one SIG. Yeah. I want to have at least, I want to chain smoke

six. That sounds like a nice time. I love going on an adventurous walk with my dog. Yeah. You could probably hit some trails. I wonder if your new dog that you're definitely going to get is, is it going to hunt? Is it going to be able to have times when it like actually does the birding or whatever? Yeah. I don't know if I want to train it about the bird hunting. I mean, there's a part of me that does because I know that is the thing that like lights them up and makes them feel purposeful. I literally was playing with the puppies one at a time to see which one I liked more of the two and watched as one of them was like circling around and then stopped to point.

Went on point with its foot up, dead straight. And I was like, that's so cool. Because it's only like three months old. And aren't you worried though? It's already just doing that instinctively. If you bring it on a walk, it's just going to be killing birds the whole time. like you have like you're walking back to the house with just like a bag of dead birds these these dogs kill like pheasants that were grown on shelves in china yeah yeah they're not killing like

gross yeah like birds of praying they got a stack deck they got juiced bats they're not pumas yeah you know what i mean like um my dog will point sometimes my dog points at fucking uh like squirrels it was just like stop and just like start creeping up on a squirrel that's cool it is yeah ruby you to do that at Kojai. She would run ahead and then when our little friend she would come along, she would stop to point at it and then flush it. Oh, yeah. Attack.

Interesting. Yeah. Set of like biological instincts that they have. It's cool. So I'm thinking hard about it. I think that this would just be a much healthier choice for companionship. Than prostitution. Than humans.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that you were off girls. but I'm happy that you finally came home. Yeah, I'm going. I think I literally call my mom and I explained that I was thinking about this. And she was like,

I'm deeply concerned that if you get a dog that will spell the end of any chance you have at finding a human mate. And I was like, that's the point. I don't think a dog is going to kill your social life or anything like that. I'm going to get a dog. And on the same day that the dog. gets neutered. I'm getting of a second. Oh my God. We're going to both get them done at the vet. That is

ultimate loyalty. They do the two for one special. Yeah, that is the ultimate. Yeah. I mean, it's the same thing. It's the same. It's a penis. You know? Yeah. Well, I'm getting a girl dog. So it's spade, right? Spade. But you'll get neutered. Yeah. But I'll get neutered. She'll get spayed. And you'll just be recovering next to each other, holding paw and hands. Yeah. I just think it was strange.

I'll be wearing a cone around my neck. so I don't rip the stitches out of my penis with my teeth. Just making a deal with your dog that you lick each other's asshole. I got a cone and you got a cone. Figure this out. Yeah, I would definitely do it.

I would definitely go for it. I don't see why not. You're going to get... I'm sorry to tell you this. Tell me. You're going to get more girls with a dog. No, because I will have to be retreating upstate. There's nobody upstate.

There's no one there. Bro, there. Are you on the apps? Like if you're upstate, are you on the apps or no? Like Google Maps. Yeah. I don't really know my way around that well up there. What's the trail one?

All trails? All trails? All trails? Yeah. All trails and Google Maps. No, I don't date up there at all. I don't even try. There's nobody around.

Maybe one day. Because women don't really, single women don't really retreat to the woods. No, no. Famously. They retreat from the woods. Yeah, yeah, they famously avoid the woods. Civilization houses lighting. Yeah.

Yeah, they don't, I wonder why. Kind of a mark against them. Kind of a failing on their part. I can think of a couple good reasons. Why? To not be a woman in the woods by yourself. What are they? You can only be a woman in the woods if you've made a deal with the devil.

Yeah. You're a witch. And you rule the woods. Yeah. Yeah. Or like that I like you're Appalachian. There's women in the woods down there. but they're wearing like oversized t-shirts that they got from Target and like jeans and like a fucking scream mask.

Oh yeah. Trying to lure people. They have hidden canisters of bear mace in their sleeves. Yeah. The way Spider-Man shoots webs. They're deeply evil. Appalachian woods are scary as fuck. I don't know.

Are your woods that scary? No. Appalachian woods have a different level of scariness where it's like you hear sounds and appellation. The Appalachian woods are like, that's like the real sticks. My woods are lovely dark and deep. Yeah. And I have miles to go before I sleep. These woods are darker and deeper.

And they got a damn trail through them. Your shit probably connects to the Appalachian Trail, does it? Yes. It runs right through. You see people hitchhiking. That shit is insane. And you're like, are you cutting corners? Yeah.

How can you tell people you hiked it? I guess that kind of counts. If you're trying to get a ride. hitchhiking the Appalachian Trail. One more quick lacrosse story. That reminds me. And I may have told this before, but freshman year of high school,

I was playing at Chevroes in Portland. And, yeah, I was a scared freshman, but I was a big kid. So I made the team, and we were running one day. We had to run around the Casco Bay loop. No, not Casco Bay. It's the Bay in Portland.

It might be Casco Bay. Yeah, Casco Bay. Back Bay. I think it's back bay. Yeah, running the bay. Back Bay. Boston. Three and a half mile run.

Our coach made us run it in cleats and pads and helmets with our sticks. Is it? What surface is it? It's like gravel. It sucked. Yeah, that's not good. Did they make you hold your sticks up? It kind of, no, you didn't have to like pretend to cradle the whole time.

But I just remember running the three and a half miles in cleats and with pads on and being like, I don't think this is going to translate to the field whatsoever. Yeah, yeah. If anything, it's going to just fuck you up. Twist an ankle. But were you getting on the concrete. There were a couple older kids on the team. Adam Horgan was one of them.

And I remember that I didn't know this had happened, but they ran like a mile and then got in a car. Oh, yeah. And then they like went and had. had like a sandwich. Yeah. And then got dropped off with half a mile to go and then ran the last part in. Yeah. And somehow our coach found out.

Oh, no. And made them run just those guys in practice in front of us relentlessly while we all watched. Pretty funny. It was pretty funny. Yeah. That's pretty good. hilarious.

I don't know how they got found out. That happens in the office in the fun run episode. Yeah. Remember Stanley and Phyllis? just getting the taxi immediately. Yeah, yeah. It's hilarious. I think it happens to the Simpsons too.

Bart Simpson pops in at the end of a marathon. Did you tell the coach? Was that how they found out? I didn't even know what it happened. I didn't even know. We like we all finished roughly around the same time. Yeah, yeah. You know, they timed it perfectly.

So I was just a scared freshman. Like I didn't, I didn't, would never have said anything. Who was their accomplice? I wonder who is in on it. Well, I know, I remember distinctly, Adam Horgan was one of them, but he was such a good hockey player. No, but who was the driver? Who drove? No, I don't know who drove.

So it would have to be someone who's not on the team that's like, I'm going to waste my time getting a sandwich to just have you guys break the rules for funsies. Yeah, it's probably one of their boys. I think they planned it. Yeah. Yeah, it's probably, but I mean, that's a good boy. If your boy's going to get up while you're doing like your shit run. Yeah. I mean, he probably just wanted you'll get food.

He may have already been getting food, seen them running, being like, what the, Fuck. Yeah. I know those guys. Yeah. Hey. Horgan. Oregon.

Hogan was a really good, really good hockey player. All the, like our lacrosse team, my freshman year was just like a bunch of hockey players. That's what ours was to. Just come over and like they were all just naturally good at La Cros. Sticks.

We're talking about absolute sticks. Yeah. Oh yeah. Guys who are sticks across the way. They're probably good golfers now. Probably. Sammy Dangles. What did the hell is his real name?

Sammy fucking. Dangl. That's his Instagram. He's probably changed it to Sammy Dangles. One of the kids that I, that was really good at hockey in my school was also like the best golfer, but he didn't play golf. Sam Johnson. He had hockey. Sammy Dangles.

Sam Johnson. Click on Dangles's profile. Was also there. But I don't think Sam Johnson was one of the ones that cut. Whoa. Sammy Dangles is a girl. I don't think, Sam Dangles were else. I don't think Sam Johnson was one of the ones who cut. no I don't what the fuck everybody go give Sam Danglson follow

which one is he I don't know I don't want to like I think he's I hope he has a private account he was a good kid though I liked I liked him a lot Is that him on the right? No he was also a really good hockey player All these guys played like for the junior pirates

Oh really Portland Junior Pirates Yeah And then went on to play juniors and then I think played a little bit in college. Damn. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it was cool. Hockey's really, really hard to go to college for.

Is it? Yeah. I believe you. I just didn't know that. Isn't it all kids who are like 26? It's a lot of people that have to do like a lot of like post grad school and shit. A bunch of Mormons. They're always Mormons.

Yeah. I know a lot of kids that I know that played hockey, like they didn't like start freshman year until they were like 24. You know, it's not hard to go to college for lacrosse. Yeah, it's probably harder now, though. Probably. Especially in the Northeast. That was the, that was I saw a loophole.

Like at Syracuse, they had the banners. They won, they won like every year in the early 2000s. For like 10 years, they won five national championships. Yeah. But then it's like, I guess other teams just got good. We scrimmaged them every year preseason. Really? Played them in the Carrier Dome.

They were good. Well, yeah. I mean, they were kind of the best. They were the top team. Any notable, any notable names? They had some brothers that went there. Jim Brown? Jim Brown played there.

Not lacrosse. Yeah. Oh, wait. No, he did play the cross. Yeah, he's like arguably the best lacrosse player ever. That's my bad. That's my bad. We'll cut that.

Imagine if Barry Sanders could play lacrosse. Imagine if Jemir Gibbs was playing the cross. Oh, he would be insane. How sick he would be. Yeah. They did have the Jim Brown banner up. That was pretty cool. Look at those quads.

Yeah. And he probably wasn't even training quads. Hell no. There's no chance he was on the rack. He probably just like didn't even, he probably didn't even work out. He probably just looked like that. probably ran the stadium in cleats. Yeah.

Cement steps. He was getting breakfast sandwiches and he was fine. Oh my, what beautiful quads. Who else? Didn't they have another really famous African American brother that played there? Um, yeah. Yeah, they did.

And I can't remember his name. Black Syracuse lacrosse hat. Yeah, they had some really good players. they always had amazing Oh Joe Von Miller was during my time. Yeah, he was really good. John Miller. Dude, they always had, they always had like first people's kids.

Oh. Because they would recruit from the Onondaga Reservation. What? And that was right there. That was like right next to Syracuse was the Onondaga Reservation. And those kids were all really good at La Crosse. played box lacrosse. Oh yeah. And that shit's in their blood the same way that like a German short hair pointer. Correct. Exactly. Correct. Like they're three years old,

three months old. Fuck with this. Yeah. Yeah. And they, um, they would often, I, what I was told was that, you know, the schools that they went to were not great. And so sometimes they would have to go to a community college for like a year or two in order to earn eligibility to then go to Syracuse, which meant by the time that they got there, they were like 21 year old freshman. Damn. Who were had already been two years in college lacrosse. Yeah.

And we're like fighting for the pride of their people. Yeah. Wow. And they were amazing. It must have meant more. It did. And apparently the kids who like were not smart enough for Syracuse ended up in Albany, which is how Albany was also very, very good.

That is interesting. They had the Thompson twins. Lyle was like the best player ever. Of course. And I bet they're a little bit more unruly. You know, they can't get into the best school, but they're probably party children. Yeah.

Not great grades, but they could just fucking whoop it up. Is New York the biggest lacrosse state? Pennsylvania is pretty big. Maryland is huge. Maryland is huge. Maryland's big hotbed. I don't know.

Yeah, Long Island obviously is a hotbed. I think now at the sport has, spread but I don't really follow it so I don't know yeah it's everywhere now like I don't know how I think California's gotten pretty good at it yeah yeah which would make sense they have the flow for it oh yeah if those bros out there have some nice flow and there's fucking 50 million people they better be good at it those bastards we got to get out to a lax game we got to no we don't no we really don't the st. just prep lacrosse game we have to definitely I bet they're good they were solid but The public schools in the Pennsylvania area were pretty sick too.

Really? Like Radner and shit. Oh, yeah. Radner, for sure. Come on now. Dude, there was a men's travel or a guy's travel team from that area called the Dukes that were like the best team. We played them one year at Champ Camp, Main Select versus the Dukes. I think we lost 14 to 2.

They were up 10-0 before we got the ball. Dang. It was embarrassing. That's so demoralizing. We used to always, I used to go watch the lacrosse, like, our team play. the teams of Long Island and they would get fucking annihilated.

Yeah. And they were like the best team in Massachusetts. Yeah. We played against the Haverford School and soccer when we were in like

fifth grade or something like that and they were beating us I think six nothing or seven nothing in half time and their coach made a rule that you could only shoot with your left foot in the second.

Oh yeah. Just like crooked arrows. To dick with us. Yeah. And then somebody scored with their right foot and he took them out of the game. Wow.

Brutal. They're nice though. I have it for school. All right. Let's end the episode and let's do another one for Thursday. Love that. You should have me saying that? Doesn't matter.

Yeah, right. All right. Thank you guys for listening. We will be back on Thursday. Goodbye.