Son of a Boy Dad - The French Kiss is Dead | Son of a Boy Dad #225

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

The French Kiss is Dead | Son of a Boy Dad #225 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Alrighty. That's Lee Soft Francis. Alrighty. Welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it is Wednesday it is August 14th we are here live from HQ Trey's. Sass has been busting my balls mercilessly I fucking love it feels like being back in the locker room mm-hmm feels like after a fucking long football practice I just threw for four touchdowns. Francis caught five touchdowns. Yeah.

And Sass threw for one touchdown as the backup. Yeah. You caught all the touchdowns though. Look, I'm the guy. He's the guy. I am him. You're definitely not a wide receiver. Ryan Whitney once.

It could be a tight end. Ryan Whitney once told me that I am him on the blog. Oh, that's true. I thought that was cool. You're they them, bro. I am he him. His was cool. You're they them bro. I am he him. His and hers. You're they. His and hers sinks. Those jokes used to have a lot of, when people started doing pronouns, people would be like this country boy's pronouns are hee haw or whatever.

Oh yeah. Oh that's fun. I identify as a piece of toast with some butter on it. That's like the alt-right go-to joke. Well, then I guess I identify as a salmon. I don't care if you're black. You just get to pick what you identify as. I'm going to identify as a football. I don't care if you're black, white, brown or purple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was always the big one too.

I don't care if you're purple. Yeah. Perb, they always loved throwing around purple. Yeah, I forgot about that. Seth, there was an ad that I saw, a commercial for Navy Federal Credit Union yesterday where it was a bunch of guys in, I think, marine outfits hiking through the streams,

and one of them picked up a fish or something. Really? And I think maybe they were fishing, and it felt like an absolute blend of your, yours and Bo's relationship. Yeah, that was me and the marine. The military thing, and then you with the fishing, and you guys relationship. Yeah, that was him with his marine, the military thing and then you with the fishing

and you guys both being there and one was giving the other lots of shit. Really, this was all in commercial for credit union? Navy Federal Credit Union. Damn. Do you think they're really just fishing like that? I think the through line was he worries about the type of fishing tackle that he uses

but one thing he doesn't have to worry about is his credit. Navy Federal Credit Union. Is that one of the ones where you can't get the fuck in, you can't get in unless you're in the army? Gronk is always doing ads for those and it's like Gronk can't even get the protection. I think it's if you can use it if anyone in your family is in it was in the military too I think. Is that right? For that the one that Gronk is I mean I've seen that commercial a thousand times a billion

Yeah, but you can trace it back to like Like the Confederate Army. Yeah, yeah, if you if y'all fought for the fucking South. Yeah, still get this good Yeah, I think you take like an ancestry.com test If any of your family was warriors, I don't think or no I had some fucking warriors in my family I'll fuck it. I had a bunch of dodge draft Dodgers really now But I'd no one in my family was in the military or no one in my like immediate family my grandparents I'm sorry to hear that. I'm so proud of I think everyone just missed it. I think we just got lucky My uncle that's in my uncle was almost in Vietnam, but then it ended.

I think my grandfather, it wasn't a matter of luck. He was gonna go no matter what. He just believed. Yeah. He believed in the cause. He was willing to die for this country. In fact, there was a moment there where he got his physical back and they had misread that he had colorblindness. Yes. And when he saw that, I mean, he was ready to take his own life.

Yeah. But then they quickly... What is this from? I'm sorry? Which movie is this? Movie. There's a movie, there's like a... You're talking about his family's history.

No. I think you're thinking of Little Miss Sunshine. No, I know. That was my immediate thought, but then I was like, no, I don't think that's what he's doing. Well, I'm not doing Little Miss Sunshine I'm using my real-life situation which is true my grandfather was Admiral Kinkade's flag lieutenant oh interesting and there's a photo of him marching through the fucking jungles of Iwo Jima damn next to I can never remember the general. All the boys. It might be King Cade, but it also might be.

Was MacArthur in in? Was MacArthur in the Pacific? Must have been. I have no idea. You watched the Pacific, doesn't he walk through? No, I didn't watch the Pacific. Or is it Chesty? Is that who that is? I watched like three episodes of Pacific. We have a great black and white photo of my grandfather standing, walking through, I mean,

and they're up to their shins. Well, aren't all, every photo he sees is black and white? That's exactly right. With his colorblind ass. But he had to pay the clerk to fudge the results of his colorblindness. And I heard he had 15 kills over there, all his own men. All black guys. Friendly fire.

The uniforms, even in like the Civil War and even in World War Two, were like like a light shade of gray and a dark shade of gray. They were close. They were so close. And I have to say, I hate to say this, the German uniforms were pretty sharp. Oh, yeah. They were close. They were so close. And I have to say, I hate to say this, the German uniforms were pretty sharp. Oh, yeah. They had the sharpest uniforms. But dude, that makes it a pain in the ass to watch those movies.

Yes. When I watched Band of Brothers, I was like, I don't know who is shooting at who. I don't know what is going on. I had to pause that show. I need subtitles and audio descriptions. Dude, I had to pause that show like 75 times and look up shit. Why? Because there's so many characters and they're all, they just show like side shots of someone

exploding. You're like, that could have been Dick Winters. I have no fucking clue. I guess I just knew. Yeah, you had the implicit knowledge. And it's so hard to follow that they have that scene towards the end of the episode where they show everyone that's died so far when they're in the church and Remember he's looking around and then he sees like the ghost

That's not why they did that absolutely why they know I think it was a solemn moment where they finally had the time to catch Up and remember some horrific moments from the war that was that's where they're after the battle of the bulge Right. It's like that's where they're showing the medics, they're just highlighting as a directorial. Lynch technique. That was like Margot Robbie in the bathtub coming in to explain what's going on in the show. No, no, it's not to clarify.

It was like the Economist and Ariana Grande. You're just selfishly interpreting it that way because you were confused. It's really to clarify. It was like the Economist and Ariana Grande. You're just selfishly interpreting it that way because you were confused. It's really to show how horroring, like the horror that they've been through up to that point. No, I know that. Now what the Battle of Guadalcanal was is... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You're probably wondering what the Battle of the Ice, like fucking Ice Cube or Ice Tea. Look, I buy two salmon at the farmer's market on Monday. By Wednesday. Now you're probably wondering what the fuck just went down at the Battle of the Bulbs. They should have had ice cube in there. They thought of that.

I'm surprised that more movies didn't use that brilliant technique from the big short. Yeah. That movie's good. That's a great fucking movie. I just listened to a podcast from that economist. He's like the father of modern economics or some shit like that, the dude who-

Michael Lewis? Is that who it was? Well, he wrote the Big Short. No, he's alive. Didn't he write Moneyball, too? Mm-hmm. Phenomenal. The guy who-

And Molly's Game, I think. Oh, really? Yeah. No. I don't think he wrote Molly's Game. Michael Lewis? You might be right. He wrote Liar's Poker, and Flash Boys.

And Lars and the Real Girl, I'm pretty sure. And he's done a, and then he wrote the, oh, he wrote The Blind Side. That fucking movie. Michael Lewis. I saw that at the top of a list of movies from the 2000s that have aged terribly Yeah, don't sad don't you look look that up it? I don't know if he wrote Molly's Game, but I don't think he did Yeah, there's Michael Crichton. He did write

That was Michael Clayton the lawyer who wrote that yeah, he just wrote the ones that you said he wrote radical wolf He writes a book every year. Big Short, Moneyball, Blindside, Next, The Future Just Happened. Writes a book every year? So he's just dumping bullshit out. Yeah, yeah. He's spewing a lot of nonsense. That's too much. That's too much writing. Take a little time with your craft. Yeah. Dickhead.

Exactly. Maybe a year and a half. Stephen King writes a book every like six months. Every single one of those are the top charts. And they're like 800 page books. Yeah, they're really long. He's got super powers. Do you think those dudes just like write stuff and like don't even read it back?

Think they're just dumb. They probably, I mean, at Stephen King's level, he probably has so many editors that yeah, probably. Maybe he might just be that kind of tuned. He probably just writes it and then he goes, fix this. I don't know. I'm gonna go ahead and believe that Stephen King probably doesn't have a lot of ghost writers. And I think part of the reason is that I think

he's been as prolific as he is now his whole career. So even in his early stuff, he was churning and burning before he could have theoretically hired. Yeah. No, I heard Stephen King is not even a real person and is just a group of 30 dudes. You're thinking of William Shakespeare. Oh, that's who I'm thinking of.

Is that what they say about Shakespeare? Don't put any dirt on Stephen King's name. That is the pride of Maine right there. Yeah. He lives in Bangor, Maine, which I don't know why anyone would live there. Yeah. Probably to write some scary shit.

I used to have to drive up there to do AAU basketball practice for Maine Hoops. Really? I had to drive two hours for practice. From how far away is that from? Where were you from? Freeport? Freeport near Portland, like where people actually live.

And Bangor was a bigger, you could call it a city, I guess, but it's not. How was your jumper back then? Back then, pretty wet, like a wetting stone. How old were you in this? 17. It must have been 14, 15. So your parents would have to drive you. Yeah, but we would carpool with other kids

who were from our part. All of our games were back in civilization, where I lived. Yeah, yeah. And then the kids that were from all the way up there, Mount Desert Island, Lee Souvleau. Yes, yes. He was an Inuit. And he had four children by his like 20th birthday.

Power move. Wait, Inuit? But he was a prodigy. He was very narrow. There's Inuits on the fucking East Coast? He had come a long way. I thought all the Inuits were in like Alaska. Yeah, his ice floe broke off and he just drifted with the courage. He circumnavigated the globe on an ice float?

Carried aloft by a team of seals. Diderot seals. Yeah, but I will say this. Lee Souvlou came to stay at my house when we went to play our games for that weekend. And all he wanted to do was go to the main mall. Really? You wanted to go see the alabane?

No, that wasn't where the main mall was. Close. But the main mall was this big attraction that he'd heard great things about. And it was three and a half hours from where he was from, half an hour from where I was from. And I said, Lee, you're gonna be disappointed in the main mall.

Yeah. Look, I don't even go there. Now part of that is that I live close enough that I could go anytime I want. Yeah, no, I get what you're saying. But do you remember your first time at the main mall? Maybe the magic had been lost. You're not wrong.

The food court, Panda Express, Sabaro, Auntie Anne's, and then the Miss Fields cookies. Yes. And that was near the DC Discovery Zone, I think they had. One of those little like Chuck E. Cheese knockoff, only games. Unbelievable.

So for an Inuit, that's probably fucking eye opening. Literally. Yeah, he was excited to go to Best Buy. That's where he wanted to go. Yeah. Best Buy is a good store. I think we bought NBA Street. Two?

Might've been the first. Ah. The original. Two's wouldn't really kicked into gear though. Oh yeah, big time. Did Native Americans get circumcised? Uh, probably not. Tomahawks?

The other side? They might. There's always like that back of the tomahawk that has the smaller... Yeah, the tiny hatchet. Smaller blade, yeah. Yeah. I don't know how anyone was getting circumcised back then. Who should... the Jews started it, right?

I think that's enough to talk we got our fucking asses chewed they were our asses chewed out we just didn't know it's not our fault that's episode we're trying to fucking learn over here we're trying I didn't see any nasty comments yeah you must not have notifications on I do and they were all just like sass is the funniest person ever typical shit like that sass is the funniest person ever. Typical shit like that. Sass is the goat. Sass is the best. You should have spoken up.

Said what? As a Jewish man. Brother, I don't know anything about the Jews. Well, I know one thing, and that is that Jews are big on light, right? Lighting the candles. Yes, of course. And speaking of which,

I am trying to find some light fixtures still, if anyone out there has any connections. I've heard from a few of you and I appreciate you all, but we're still on the hunt. I don't have light fisher connections, but I got a ton of molly connections after the last episode. That sounds a little more up my alley.

I got so much good intel about Pennsylvania fishing. Look at this, see? This is why we do this. I didn't know we had any, I didn't know anyone even actually fished that listened to the podcast. Did you hit up Lake? Seven, yeah I did.

You hit up Lake? Lake. His name's Lake. Yeah, I thought you said Blake. No you hit up Lake? Seven, yeah. You hit up Lake? Lake. His name's Lake. Yeah, I thought you said Blake. No, no, no, I said Lake. Like a river trout. Like the trout. Yes.

Like the bass. The bass. There actually is a lake trout. And there's a bass too. Yeah, I got a bunch of good info. Good, because he seemed like he really knew what he was talking about. He had actually DM'd me before about fishing. I went back and looked.

And you hadn't opened it. And he said, let me know if you ever go fishing in Central PA. Good. Instead, I'm going to New York, and I'm going to try my hand at fly fishing. Really? Instead of Amsterdam.

Really? Where are you going? It's just an hour and a half north. Nice. Catskills? Maybe. I'm not sure. Somewhere by the Hudson, on the Hudson,

or close to the Hudson. You're going to fly fish in the Hudson? I'm not going. Somewhere by the Hudson, on the Hudson, or close to the Hudson. You're gonna fly fish in the Hudson? I'm not gonna fly fish in the Hudson. I'm going somewhere close to the Hudson as a landmark. Hudson's a town. I know. No you don't. Hudson Valley. I do, I know that.

I'm doing this just as an exercise to be closer to you, just so I can learn the ways of your mind. I bet you'll be good at it. No, no chance. But it'll be fun. Yeah. I like to learn things. I like to try new things. Get outside of my comfort zone. I wonder if you'll catch anything. Are you going with a guide? Probably. You probably will catch something then. If I'm going with a guide? Yeah. Yeah, they'll probably like hold my hands or they'll probably just let me reel it in I mean, they just know exactly where the fish are. It's a good season In the Catskills, it should be fine. Isn't that your neck of the woods? Yeah, but I'm probably if you're gonna be in Hudson, I'm well east of that

Hudson's big on antiques They got some good lighting stores there. I think well, maybe I'll bring you home something. Take a look Maybe I'll bring you home a series of 16 fixtures. Ooh, dude, I went to a store yesterday. I gotta tell it. We gotta tell you about this place. Of course, of course. Called Apparatus.

Okay. I didn't know stores could be this cool. It's a studio, showroom, and you gotta go into a nondescript building in New York, one of those ones where you call a number on the front door and they buzz you through and then you get into an elevator and the other floors in the building are a dental practice and a fucking you buy I fix iPhone store where people just take stolen phones and fucking flip them yeah yeah it's just a whole bunch of

nonsense you have no idea what's in the building. Yeah. And this place is on the fourth floor. Right. I have to buzz into my doctor. Right. I have to get a rash looked at from out holding the button outside. I think I've gone areea. I have a rash. It sucks. Can you see me? Do you want to see it? Just putting your fucking pubic mound up to a fucking fish eye lens. That looks fine. And so you get into this fucking warehouse. Well, I go all the way up to the fourth floor and the door was this vault door

that had apparatus written on the front. And then I was let in. And I mean, I've never, it's worth going to this store just to see what it's like. Everything in there beyond belief. Is this in Brooklyn? No, close to here, 30th street. Unbelievable.

We gotta go, Sash, we gotta go to this. These light fixtures are expensive. I'm sure. We have to go check this out. It was cool to just see it. We should go. Just as a field trip. They give you the story behind everything.

This piece was a confluence of East and West. I've gone to a couple stores like that with Francis and he makes me put my hands in my pockets so I don't knock anything over. He's the guy, you know, testing the fire door to see if the alarm actually is connected, which by the way, I did once as a kid, I was at a museum. Oh yeah, everyone did. In Germany, I think. And the door said like,

Ach, Tung! Yeah. Don't touch. Yeah. And I was like, surely that's not working. This is a farce. And I just put my hands on it. I didn't push.

It was one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just touched it and the whole alarm went off. Really? And I was like, and there was a of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just touched it and the whole alarm went off. Really? And I was like, and there was a guy who had been, it was this really nice moment actually. There was a guy who had been watching me through the security camera and he told me in English,

he was like, I was watching you get closer and closer saying, don't do it, don't do it. And then he just, He did what he liked, you do it. Well, he wasn't gonna leave his booth or whatever until I actually did it. I've had, have you ever had that? Have you ever watched a kid contemplate to do something

and then like go through with it? I was on the train one time coming back, I was doing shows in Bridgeport and I was coming back and there was a kid, a little kid sitting in front of me and he was looking, he was like, I was in the window and he was looking out the window and he was staring at it for like 10 minutes and then he just stuck his tongue out and just licked the entire window it was so funny to know that he was just like contemplating licking the

window for like 10 minutes straight. Just the intrusive thoughts being the biggest part of his brain. I gotta fucking do this. I mean, it was a nice cold window. I'm sure it felt great. I'm sure it tasted pretty fine. Yeah, icy cold window. That's an ideal window to lick. I remember being at a renaissance fair when I was in sixth grade and it was like the final performance of the Renaissance fair. It's like a huge battle scene. And there's a guy that during the scene, like zip lines across the entire audience

to like this huge thing in the back. And there's multiple people that come and zip line. And my sixth grade teacher like sarcastic, he was like, yeah, like someone touch him or something like that. I was like, I'm gonna touch him. And the guy fucking ziplined through and I like touched his knee and he like wobbled

a little bit and then he like lost his shit on me. But he didn't break character from the Renaissance fair guy. So he's like, it was that lot right there. Yeah. Some lady in a headset came over and fucking like That lad right there! Some lady in a headset came over and fucking like Got on her hands and knees and was like you can never do that I was like well my teacher told me to do it not understanding his sarcasm And he's like I wasn't being serious about it

That's crazy Just grumbled at me all the way back to the school bus the guy was just furious and his fucking kilt He like it was that loud. If I would be, I would have been crazy if he went down. It would have been so funny. So funny. I mean, he was definitely precarious and he's going through the whole thing and I just like touched his knee or something.

I'm sure it's not the first time that's been done. Well, it's on them for like the people that go to Renaissance fairs have to be the closest to retarded adults that are fucking roaming the earth. on them for fuck like the people that go to Renaissance fairs have to be the closest to retarded adults that are fucking roaming the earth. But they also do have like the utmost respect for each other. That's like they would never fuck with each other like that. Oh no. What's about the performers or the people who regularly probably I think everyone I think there's a mutual respect like we're all fucking freaks. Yeah we went to a Renaissance fair right when I got hired at barstool like me and like ten of my friends and we all acted like we were from The future we dressed like we were from the future but like

Pretending that we were from the past, but we didn't know how to fit in so we all just dressed stupid as fuck Yeah, I think you told me about that It was so dumb I'm just like stacking multiple of those, like, winter hats that go over your ear. I had, like, three of them stacked on my head, and, like, a bunch of pairs of sunglasses. It's like, no, we're from this time, we're from this era.

That's pretty funny. Just walking around, but it was so fun. I need to go back to a Ren fair. Sass, did you ever do anything like that? Go to a Renaissance fair? No, just sort of whimsical, mischievous stuff that didn't make a whole lot of sense. Yeah, when I went to the Most Dangerous Game Show and I yelled May Day into the walkie-talkie. I remember one of the ones that I was really thinking about was when we were, when I was

in school and I was really young, like grades, like early grade school, I remember we would like go into another, we would go into the classroom next to us and do like a group study for some reason. And I was like, can I go back into our classroom? I have to get a pencil. And then I went in and I, and I opened up one of my friend's lunch boxes and he had those like stuffed Oreos, took a massive bite of one of them and put it back and then went back into the other class And then they found out and I got I got in a ton of trouble Yeah, they found out it was you yeah, who else would it have been I think my buddy my friend like spaz to me to see he went

Behind the counter and started beating the fast food workers. Yeah, it was bad I think I was jay Gomez my asses. I had to flip my card to red It was back in those days I had to flip my card to red. It was back in those days. What did that do? That meant I had to like write a letter apologizing. Well, you would have to like, like if you got, if you got, everyone had like, there was like this like thing hanging up with all these cards

and they were like green and red. And if you were misbehaving, you had to flip yours to red. It was like the walk of shame. The A on the chest. Yeah. Hester Prynne. Yeah, exactly. The scarlet letter. Nice.

Very nice. We're all on the same page on this one. Yeah. Pretty popular, pretty popular book. That slut, that fucking bitch. That nasty ass whore. I would have just killed her, to be honest. Ha ha ha ha.

Who was she fucking though? Priest. One of the priests. Yeah. Which is, I mean, and he didn't get any, he didn't get any flack at all. At the end he did. He did? I think, well, I think so. I think it came out that they, that he was the father.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if he was ostracized to the degree that she was. They probably let him pick. They were probably like, we're either going to tell about the kids or this. And he was like, just go with that one. I gotta be able to keep on fucking kids. Don't take that from me, Monsignor.

Cardinal, it's all I have is the kids. What a weird book to have to read when you're in like fifth grade. A lot of those are weird. We read The Crucible. I mean, it was. That was a play. It's a play. I think it's Arthur Miller,

and it was so dark and confusing, and it's all about the Salem witch trials, and stuff like that. Did you guys read that? I don't think so. No, I read some other Arthur, what is it, Our Town? Is that Arthur Miller? It might be, and he also wrote

Death of a Salesman, famously. Oh yes. Oh yes. I only saw that in the Playhouse. Did you yes? That's that What's the what's the name of the lead in death of a salesman? Salesman I Can't believe he's died

One And they're just giving mouth to mouth to the salesman for like 20 minutes trying to resuscitate him. His oldest son is named Biff. Really? I know that. That's the jock. I'm not very familiar with that.

I took an acting class in college. They made you play Biff, didn't they? They made me play Biff. I think I played Biff. I think I did play Biff. And it was a scene class, and there was another girl, and we had to kiss in the scene. Really?

She was really cute too. You guys Mac? I didn't mind it, I'm sorry? Did you guys Mac or just a Peck? I was an actor's kiss, no tongue. No tongue? I was trying. You tried to squeeze some in?

Trying to just shove it down her throat. She put up the teeth shield? Rawr! And she was all closed mouth. Pursed. She had a mouth guard in? She had fucking, yeah, dental dam. Damn.

On Love Island, they were recently saying, one of the women was describing her kiss, and she was like, yeah, it was really nice, like, he smelled good, his breath didn't smell bad, he didn't try to put any tongue in. So I think, like, is tongue dead. Tongues out. Tongues dead. Right. Because fools are not kissing with tongue these days.

Fools are not hot tying tongues. No tonsil hockey these days from the fools. I think it was COVID ruined it. COVID ruined the French kiss. Now it's known as the Chinese kiss. It's all lips. The Wu-Hang kiss. The kiss of death. The Chinese kiss? Oh my god.

It's lips only. Yeah, that's nasty. I wonder why. I wonder what, uh, I mean, I guess it's a little bit more sanitary. How come you, do you remember in 9-11 when the French wouldn't join us in the war against Afghanistan?

And so we started calling everything that had the word French in it, freedom? Yeah. Freedom toast, freedom fries. They're like, listen, we don't want to take a side. How come we- I see it from both ways. Yeah. We didn't, we just said we're not, we're gonna boycott the word French.

Even though we eat French toast and we eat French fries. Well, it's not like any of the money from French toast goes back to France. No. We were still serving them. Yeah, you got a percent. France is just skimming off the top.

I remember being at a Celtic scheme, and some guy, a vendor, was coming down the aisles and being like, or he was in one of the stalls on the outside and he was like, one freedom toast, one freedom fry. And I was like, what a patriot. But my question is in COVID, how come we didn't start calling the things that have China in them, you know?

Freedom? Find freedom, buy some fucking stack of freedom. I got my finger stuck in a freedom trap. Yeah. Freedom finger trap. Yeah, I was trying to think of anything that has the name Chinese in it. I mean, China is like just a thing in and of itself.

Yeah. Chinese. The freedom chicken. Chinese food, freedom food. Just calling it freedom food. Just taking their entire. Yeah. We didn't do that.

I guess we just said fuck all of them yeah though we think it was just like we're gonna just tell them yeah yeah we'll just be racist it's way easier yeah it's harder to be racist against French people well that you can't see them out of them to come over here in that time also it's funny that France decided not to take a side when like it started with a terrorist attack. It makes it seem like they were, uh, conspiracy theorists or something. Yeah. Look into tower seven.

You really don't know. It was actually George Bush's fault. It's curious why they wouldn't just take our side, even at least in name, or was it a lead from the back situation? What about NATO? I don't know. I was beating the drum for NATO. You're two of the biggest NATO supporters. I know Yeah, NATO. Why wouldn't the French if French are part of NATO? Why would they not ride with us? I think sometimes you just got to pick your own fights It's like your own battles. You know, I don't remember fights. It's good point. Fight your own battles. You know? I don't remember, they didn't join in Afghanistan or did they join Afghanistan, but they wouldn't join us in Iraq? I can't remember.

It's probably funny from their perspective too, being like, you spend $200 trillion on defense. Like, why do some of us need to die with you? Yeah. It's camaraderie. They also probably knew we were lying about the weapons of mass destruction. Weapons of mass destruction, yeah. It's holding the line. One for all, all for one.

NATO. NATO. Is that their motto? You attack one of us, you attack us all. Yeah. It was, who's in NATO? It's Atheos, Portos, Artemis. Artemis and Arrakis.

Those are the three members of NATO, as I remember it. There was always that fourth musketeer. Yes. Wasn't there a movie called the fourth musketeer with Chris O'Donnell in it or something? Was there? I don't fucking know what I'm talking about, dude. The fourth musketeer? Sounds like it would be a parody movie. And the fourth musketeer would be Channing Tatum or something. And he'd be like, I just don't fit in with my family

Just knocking over shit with his brute strength Yeah, I know her buckets of water being jacked as hell then he saves the day at the end. Yeah guarantees to save the day He doesn't go on the mission Then all the musketeers get captured and then Channing Tatum has to go and fucking kick down the door himself But in an unorthodox style like for some reason like he does like the like his the other musketeers just like make fun of him Jack's jacked. Yeah, and he's like a big brutish penis. Yeah, we have tiny penis Are they French? I guess they're Greek I think they're French are they well eight those portos those sound

like Greek names Artemis also sounds Greek but also but who wrote it you boys are the literary genius Michael Lewis Michael Crichton. It was Michael Crichton, the lawyer and receiver from the Baltimore Ravens. Pretty sure. The Three Musketeers. I'll look that up. Duchamp? I don't know if I know anything about The Three Musketeers. You never watched Slumdog Millionaire?

No. What? Yeah. What? Yeah, that's the Bollywood one, right? Yeah, but it's barely Bollywood. It's more American. I watched the trailer and I was like, that's Bollywood? I mean, there's Indian dudes jumping off of skyscrapers in it.

There is a dance scene where they're like, Jai ho! Saying that that movie's barely... I missed the funniest moment of the whole pod. Saying that that movie is barely Bollywood is crazy. It is barely Bollywood. I remember watching that at our old apartment, watching the trailer and being like, I'm not watching this movie. Are you thinking of RRR?

No, I'm thinking of Slumdog Millionaire. I mean, it's an incredible movie. Everyone says it's like one of the best movies. It's incredible. They do do a Bollywood scene at the end. They do the Bollywood dance. Yeah, the dance. But it's a tongue in cheek sort of homage to the fact that it's like one of the best movies. It's incredible. They do do a Bollywood scene at the end They do the Bollywood dance. Yeah, it's a tongue-in-cheek sort of homage to the fact that it's a movie. Little satire. Little satire. I don't think it's satire. It's more like a It's like a hat tip. Yeah, a little irony

Fuck your face with my cock. How's that sound? Probably a little irony. With his brutish Fourth musketeer cock. By the way, what is going on with your forms? They look so fucking vascular Alexander Mom do moss all these drank very in the last month liquid molly yeah When you don't drink water and use pop pills every day you get real vascular I Thought drinking water is what made you vascular. I don't fucking know.

I'm doing a lot of boths. No, I think dehydrating yourself is what makes you vascular. That's true. Yeah. Really? Mm-hmm. I'm so hydrated, that's why I'm proud, but you're never vascular. Me too.

That's probably what it is. Exactly. I have zero definition on any point of my body. Just because I'm high, it's all water weight. There's not a single edge on my entire body. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha edge on my entire body.

My entire body is baby proofed. He's safe for toddlers to run around him. He's just covered in those little edge protectors that round out coffee tables. Oh, no one has ever stubbed their toe on SAS. He's the anti Chris Clemmer. You just have a loose balloon around Clemmer. It's popping. Yeah, that's funny as hell. Do the Patriots had a joint practice with the Eagles and they are.

Why? I've never. They're playing them on Thursday. Why would they have a joint practice with them? I think just to sharpen iron sharpens iron. But the Patriots are getting a samoked. And this is coming from Patriots writers. Yeah, but the Patriots writers are also always super negative towards the Patriots. Well, it's also coming from Eagles writers.

They said that in the last six plays. And everywhere. Yeah, in the Eagles, the writers are always super obsessed with the Eagles. Patriots writers are honest. The, uh, on the last six plays, last six plays the Patriots got sacked five times That really sucks Well, it's just annoying cuz it's like how do you not fix the O line when the O line was so bad last season the quarterback Can wait get the O line right? Yes, exactly

You're gonna get you have a shield quarterback and at least we have good if we have a good O line the quarterback could do Something I was only reminded of that because your Patriots sweatshirt hoodie good ol' line the quarterback could do something. I was only reminded of that because your Patriots sweatshirt hoodie. Was who was playing Drake May or Joe Milton? Drake May and Bursette. Milton didn't play? Not in the stats I saw. That's fucking ridiculous. They're both getting sacked to kingdom schmong. Milton was the best one by far. Yeah. Drake May would look worrisome. Dude did you see JJ McCarthy's out for the season? Talking ball?, talking ball is he off? It's the season. I think The guy from Michigan. Yes. Yeah, I know him. Yeah, it's him Very hand. Yeah a good he had a good preseason. He played for Michigan

Yeah, mission, but everyone said he couldn't throw the ball because Michigan would run the ball only and then he was throwing He was throwing some pretty good passes darts and dimes Yeah, it's that's gonna be fuck my brother Sam Darnold starting. Yeah, which that sucks for the Vikings No, it doesn't Sam Darnold friend of the program, bro. Change your tune Friend of the program still got to be honest brother I'm not gonna lie about ball. It's trash. I think anyone famous listens to this pod probably for sure Think anyone famous listens to this pod probably for sure Couple ballplayers you think Sam Darnold our brother. I hope Mac Jones has listened before

I'm his number one supporter. No one support everyone hates him And I'm always out there being like I think Mac Jones is gonna be good this season You didn't even watch the preseason game. Yes, I did the Jaguars one. Yes, dude I watched I think I watched every single preseason game And if all networks getting its who are Who are your top three rookie QBs? Based on Daniels. Jaden Daniels. Okay. His slinging rock. Yeah, he looked good. I mean, are we counting McCarthy? Definitely not Drake May. Probably not Caleb Williams. Really? Not Caleb Williams? What has he done? Dude, he looked phenomenal. And I want him to suck so bad.

He's just holding on to that rock too long for me. Dude, he looks like a professional quarterback. Okay, maybe him. Bo Nix had a nice little stat line. Bo Nix looked amazing. But he spun that ball at Oregon. Dude, Bo Nix is top three for me. Really?

He played phenomenal. Put the fucking infographic, Bo Nix is top three for me. Really? He played phenomenal. Put the fucking infographic out. Who's your top three? Drake, May, Joe Milton, Bo Nix. No, Jayden Daniels? No, I'm kidding. Caleb Williams won... Probably Caleb Williams, Jayden Daniels, Bo Nix. I like that.

And dude, I would put Joe Milton at four. He played great. He did. He's a practice player though. Talk to Big T That's whatever the Tennessee fans want him to suck so bad probably cuz he sucked at Tennessee Yeah, all right that was talking ball. You know who sucked at Michigan Tom Brady JJ McCarthy see if you can burn that statue or see if you can just just like if it'll even take whoa what the fuck don't rip it off What the fuck don't fuck with our set, bro? What the hell why would someone glue that on so that we never have to because no one's gonna it's a set dick

Bro, I was just talking ball with you. I was just trying to get your restlessness out. Like Francis, I'm surprised with your lack of ball knowledge. Just don't care. But you do. That's what I don't understand. You just don't care about like preseason shit. I mean, I don't, I don't know, man. What? What even matters anymore? Oh my God. Did you know that you could get tickets right now to go see Metro Boomin and future at the Barclays center at the Barclays center on game time on game time. Francis you're a huge future friend. You know that I was talking to me about March Madness and coding crazy.

I like future but again without Metro Boomin I say to myself that's not the future I know and love. So with Metro Boomin, to me, it's the whole package, future and Metro Boomin. Metro on the beat. That's right. With Game Time, the official taking partner of Barstool Sports, you shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets to all sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discount zone deals for when you're feeling flexible and the lowest price guarantee means that if you find the same seats for less anywhere

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terms apply, download the Game Time app today, last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. College ball starts at the end of the month. Once it starts, I'll take notice. I don't follow college football at all. So all these players that are coming into the league. But I don't either. I don't even know, they're fucking, I couldn't I don't follow college football at all So all these players that are coming into the leader either you know, I don't even know they're fucking I couldn't name I didn't know all those people you just named other than JJ McCarthy. I wouldn't have known. I don't know who Drake May is I thought that was the guy from that Nickelodeon show

Drake May was the quarterback at UNC Drake and Josh. It's Drake May and Josh Allen. Yeah That's what that shows about two quarterbacks. I like Josh Allen. I like the fact that he's dating the girl from True Grit. And I like her because she auditioned for the Coen brothers and was like one of 4,000 children that they looked at. Interesting. Jesus Christ, what are they priests?

I actually want to potluck this weekend. I don't think priests are that picky. I don't think they're getting Oh, this blind obese kid with the fucking 3,999 being like fuck on that one. His arms are at his shoulders. We'll take him. I want to preseason parlay.

Did you? Yeah. The key to betting in preseason is to pick the teams that are worse, that are trying to be good. Right, because they'll play their starters long Yeah, Chargers Chargers Cowboys Chargers take that game every single time because the Cowboys aren't gonna play anyone that matters Well put me on to some shit for this weekend. I had Chargers Cowboys parlayed with Broncos Who did the Broncos play the Bengals Now

No, I don't fucking know. But all in the Draft King Sportsbook. All in the Draft King Sportsbook. You know what I love about the Draft King Sportsbook? That quick deposit. They got that swipe to deposit. Psst. I like playing Rocket.

Yeah, I don't do that. That's so fun. It's really fun. I have done it before and it is very fun. I did it at a restaurant in Pennsylvania with Nick and Mook. You should do it when you go to Central Pennsylvania. Yeah, maybe I will just out in the woods by myself. Howling at the moon when your rocket crashes.

Just playing rocket for three hours straight. It's so good to get away from all the fucking, just the city is just too much right now. Just unplug a little bit. And literally just holding your phone not plugged in. Using my satellite telephone to play Rocket on DraftKings in the wilderness. Just like different animals huddled around you. Like, bail, bail, now, now, now. Yeah, I'm hooked up to the iradium satellite right now which makes makes it I can play rocket anywhere. I can play rocket center of the woods.

I've been playing rocket all day. And with this charger I have, it gives my phone 4x battery life. I can literally play rocket for the three days consecutive. What's your longest rocket sesh? Mine's four days straight. No sleep. A live stream. That is fun as hell hell there's probably other fun

ass games in there I think I have a serious problem with video games I play not not with rocket now that's where it sounded like but I don't know new topic I get it this is now the moment you know I was playing last night a little bit I was playing last night and I was like I got to go to bed and I went to bed Fuck I guess I better cancel that fucking chair Yeah, what the hell? No, I'm never gonna stop Okay, but I was like I got to go to bed and then I was like The only reason I'm going to bed right now is because like society says that I should go to bed and get eight hours

Of sleep before the podcast. Yeah society society is the one saying that, not science. And science, but it's like, if like no part of me wants to stop playing video games ever. Like I've never once gotten off and been like, that was a good, like I'm done, I'm ready to be done. Is there no part of you that feels like maybe you'd be more productive in your career, which I know you care about if you weren't playing so many.

That's why he gets mad if someone's two minutes late for the show. He's like, you're cutting into video game time. No, you know, I wrote for like an hour and a half yesterday and then I played video games. Anything good? Writing? Yeah, no, nothing. Truly nothing. Are you writing on your phone?

No, I write on my notebooks. You're writing in a notebook for an hour and a half. What are you writing? Truly nothing. Are you writing on your phone? No, I write on my notebooks. You're writing in a notebook for an hour and a half? What are you writing, Civil War letters? Well you're not just scribbling, it's not just like a constant flow of words for an hour and a half. Were you walking around? It's mostly me just pacing around my apartment.

At least you're walking around. Yeah. That'll get the thoughts going. And then saying the jokes and going, this is really funny, and then reading it back and going, this fucking sucks. I'm never gonna say this on stage ever. I wrote two good ones last night out of nowhere. Yeah.

And that hasn't, I hadn't written anything in weeks. I've been waiting for that to happen. It happened. I have two good ones and I'm very excited to try them on stage tonight. Well, why don't you try living a little bit, Seth, getting out into the world. That's the answer.

Having experiences. I do have experiences all the time. Or like spending time with a bunch of people and like telling stories and stuff like that and then you tell a story and everybody laughs and you're like wait maybe that's something. That's what I'm hoping for this weekend in the green room. Gonna be an electric hang. Me, Mook, Francis. I forgot that I was part of this. Yeah. It's gonna be sick. We're gonna be testing bits on you. We're gonna do, we're gonna do. Green room's a little cramped though. I know it's was part of this. Yeah. It's going to be sick. Is this guy going to be testing bits on you? We're going to do, we're going to do.

That green room's a little cramped though. I know, it's brutal. Oh yeah. There's a gray chicken finger. There's one couch and a chair. Do you think we'll get bats, personalized bats? Did you get one the last time you were there? No, cause I didn't sell it at, oh I sold out one show.

You got to sell out the whole weekend to get the bat? I think, yeah. They give you a single baseball glove, a batting glove. We're going to go to Cordelia on that street. We're going to go there. You're coming. I don't care what you say. A nice restaurant.

Really nice restaurant. No, you're coming. I'm not letting you not come. You need to come with me. You know why? I'm doing remote play on PlayStation this weekend. I'm locked in all weekend. He's going to have a VPN and do Rocketman.

Do they have? Can you play Rocket in Ohio? If you have a VPN. No, I think... Is gambling legal in Ohio? No, actually, I don't think you play Rocket in Ohio? If you have a VPN. No I think, is gambling legal in Ohio? No actually I don't think it is legal in Ohio. Is it? I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think it is. We don't know. That is not for us to say. It really is. But you can't play in New York though. Like certain games. You can't play, well gambling restrictions in New York are pretty strict.

You can't do a lot of shit. You can't bet on, you can't bet player props on college sports. Right. But in Chicago, like you could go and you could bet, like when I was in Chicago I bet, uh, fucking whatever that dude on, the Colorado's, who is it? Travis Hunter? Yeah. I bet him to have three touchdowns his first game back after being injured and it hit. And I was like, dude, betting on college football is so easy damn you never you never lose do you I lose a lot what but I bet responsibly

I never hear about your losses We want to share your wins. I bet responsibly and my big thing now is micro bets like $5 tops Put put $30 into the account Try and get it up to like 100, and then put the 100 on one thing. It is largely the same thrill. It is, it really is. I've noticed that, yeah.

I'm gonna do that for the NFL. I'm a big game hunter. Yeah, you are. You always have been. I want trophies. What's your unit size? No, never mask a man a unit size. Never mask a man a unit size. Never ask a girl her weight or age.

Never ask a man his unit size. What's that circular saw doing in here? Oh yeah. Oh and actually brought it from home., I gotta bring something up. Does anyone know how to- I gotta bring something to hold up the mic today. Does anyone know how to clean a grill? You know what I heard is good for cleaning a grill? An onion. What? I've heard that as well.

An onion will clean and flavor your grill simultaneously. Season it. Wow. Someone told me, cause I cooked some barbecue chicken on my grill last weekend. You have a grill? All of the juices just dripped right down into the... That's a good way to start a fire.

...soul of the grill. Well, it is. And someone told me that what I should do is turn the grill up to like the highest thing and just... Melt it all off. Burn it all to dust. Yeah. Is that right?

Is that actually the right way to do it? No, you're supposed to get one of those things Yeah, but there's now there's stuff in the core. There's stuff in the react I don't know how to do that. I think you got to get under the hood You got to lie down on a fuck pop that bitch. Oh, I can't do this every time. It's it's too much What you're gonna start a fucking fire. Do you know how to put out a grease fire? No baking water No, not water baking soda a big vat of water. Yeah right on top of it baking soda Yeah, or a fire or fire extinguisher would work as well, but one of those we're just let it burn out fire making sure works are

What do you think a fire extinguisher costs? $75 extinguisher costs $75. It's actually $300. I got one for 25 bucks. Oh, it's not bad. What do you think an ironing board costs? $15. $25. $60. Really? That weird you got the wrong ironing board. You can prevent your home from burning down for $25 but I can't Derinkle a t-shirt for less than 60. Where did you get your ironing board? You got like you definitely got like a Louis Vuitton No, I got the overall choice. It's like Amazon. It's not the cheapest, but it's certainly not what an expensive one What the hell just steal one from a hotel?

Walking out with the fucking they wouldn't say anything. I believe in hotels. I don't I believe the children are our future They look the other way. I'm forged. I believe female future papers users female The glass ceiling I'm endorsing Kamala Harris That's official psych Greer. Greer hitting the Tyler O'Day. Did you see that? So funny, dude.

He's like, I'm a Marine. I hunt, I fish and I'm voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Wait, is Tyler O'Day a big he's not? No, Tyler O'Day a big, he's not? Tyler O'Day, but I think it was just cause there was an original tweet that some dude

posted and it was, it was that exact like thing. He said like, he's like a, he's voted Republican his entire life. He hunts, he fishes. Then he says, I'm voting for Kamala Harris. And it got like 10,000 replies from like Trump supporters being like, fuck you, whatever. And then, uh, career just tweeted the exact same thing with a photo of Tyler O'Day's face. And then all these people are commenting. They're calling, they were calling him fat Brian.

And I didn't realize that he does have a little, he looks a little bit like Zach Brian. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw Tyler O'Day, I remember when I saw Tyler O'Day in Macy's? Like six, like a year ago? I was in Macy's buying a suit and all of a sudden Tyler O'Day was, you ever go to a Macy's? There's no one in there.

Which one? And somehow it was just me and Tyler O'Day in there. The one up in close to Times Square. That's the one at 34th Street. 34th Street. That was like the biggest Macy's in the world I know it's open forever. No, dude. There's net those things are always am my grandmother used to do her her Christmas shopping in there That's where they inflate the floats for the yeah day parade. Yeah, I made that up. No, they know way that's true Yeah upstairs and they just floor they just shove them down the elevator shaft on the fifth floor

They have all the floats up there So they're like half deflated because they're too small to build a fit in the Macy's I don't like this. It's like a half deflated Snoopy. I don't like this bit Did he have you guys been watching hard knocks? I have not I will don't spoil it I think it just sucks now Francis can't watch it why he's too cool What? You're saying that's why he doesn't like ball because he's too cool? Because Francis doesn't like ball.

No, I love ball. I just, I don't know. You don't want to get caught up in the minutia. You're a comedy man. I want to watch it on Sunday and that's enough for me. That's all I need. You don't watch Monday, Thursday. You're not going to watch the Friday opening season game.

Brother, come on up. Hey, I'm having a party at my house. You two boys. I'm having a party at my house. I want to have a party. Fellas, I have to tell you something that I'm having a party at my house. I wanna have a party. Fellas I have to tell you something that I did yesterday that you might not like.

Uh oh. I was cleaning my apartment, just taking care of my space. Of course, you always- Rule number one. This is twice a day for you. And we have the son of a boy that had YouTube plaque, hung that shit up in my apartment apartment mounted it to the wall. I Was supposed to bring it in here like a year ago

And then I forgot and it was just on the floor in the box. He dusted the blunt guts off Yeah, I cleaned it with my sunglasses case and then I hung it up So I don't know if you want to come see her feel free to stop by anytime. I'll give you guys a spare key I miss your apartment. I miss coming over. Yeah. I'm waiting for the gold plaque, bro. Well, sit tight. I'm waiting for the diamond plaque. 10 million.

Yeah, sit real tight. We need a consultation with Mr. Beast on how to get us to get to 10 million. Is there any podcast that has the gold plaque? Or the diamond plaque? Which is what, 10 million? What's JREN? I've got Rogan who's up there, right? Maybe not. Who would have thought back when he was at fucking Hilarities on Long Island that he'd be doing this? Hilarities isn't in Long Island,

that's Govnas. Govna! You're a loser. Me? Why?'re knowing that. Why is that weird to know? Just correcting me for that. Well, Hilarities is where me and Rhone are going this weekend, and that's in Cleveland. You and who? Me and Francis. You dumbass. We're going, we're going to go to Cordelia. We're going to go to Cordelia. Let's look at the menu for Cordelia. Everyone's talking about this Indian restaurant too. Do you like Indian food? I love Indian food. I think it's called Amda.

I was, I told this to Rowan a while ago. Let's go to the Indian place. Oh, you should get some goat. That Amda goat. I would have that. I told this to Rowan a couple of years ago when I was in, when I lived in Hell's Kitchen, I was trying to be really healthy.

And I just started, I just had Indian food for the first time and I had chicken tikka masala. And I was like, dude, this is so fucking good and it's all protein, it's just chicken. And then I ate chicken tikka masala like four nights a week for like a month straight. It's all cream. And then one night I looked up, is chicken tikka masala healthy?

And it just says, no. Yeah, it's made with lots of cream. Yeah, yeah. sauce, and salt. That's the thing for me is, I know if a meal is not that great for me based on how much water I need to drink two hours later. Yeah, that's true. And every time I have Indian food, I am so thirsty after.

It's like part way through the meal, you need to start drinking water. Yeah, exactly. It's so fucking good though. It's awesome. Really good Indian food might be my favorite cuisine. Really? It could be as far, I like eating things

that I don't feel that I can cook myself and I don't know how to cook Indian food. Oh yeah, it would take eight hours and like you to have eight kids and the Indian wife who does the cooking for the eight hours. Chef Donnie made us some Indian food one time and it was phenomenal. Yeah, that's cool.

Sama bro, gotta get over to Sama Yeah. That's cool. Sama bro. Got to get over to Sama. I really want to go to Sama. I've been to the other one, Damaka. That was the most spicy I've ever had. Oh yeah. Indian spicy is different. They had the biryani. They're like, you're special. Oh, I'm sweating. Yeah. It's kind of like a healthy spice though. It's different from jalapeno spice. Yeah, definitely. I hit up a Udu. You guys know Udu. It's on first and tenths. Szechuan. There's like Hong Kong Chinese food with a lot of Szechuan spices. Gives you that numbing hot. I fucking love that. You do? I don't know man. When I drink a sip of water, when my mouth is that numbing hot, it tastes like I'm drinking something,

I don't even know, weird. Milk. It makes you feel weird. It's almost like you're, it's like a drug experience. But they live for that. They like that. And I don't love it.

Why do the Chinese in the Sichuan provinces enjoy that? And why do the Indians love spice? But the Japanese, they don't, like there's not a single thing that's spicy. It's not spicy at all? They don't even have spicy things. What about- They can't tolerate spice. What about wasabi?

Ah, you might've got me there. That's a different spice too. I don't mind wasabi. That's like this nasal decongestant spice. Dude, have you ever had wasabi? almonds So good, and then but then it then randomly you get the in the nose feeling yeah, and I've had the peas I think you're talking about I've had the piece now. I'm talking about the all they don't make almonds They just make the peas not ever seen them in you're thinking about when you have a bar dish

And you've got some little nuts and stuff and then the green things those are peas now. I've had Wasabi almonds, but the peas are. Which one do you like more? The almonds. Really? Yeah I like almonds. Where'd you get those? Duane Reed. They have those there? Yeah like literally at the checkout counter. You know what my new- It's like the blue diamond ones right? Yeah. They make those make they make them? They're really good. I like the chili roasted pistachios. Yeah, those are great. That's my snack that I buy on the way. What's the calorie count on the wasabi peas?

Probably not that bad. Really? Have you ever had roasted edamame? I don't believe I have. Great. Very high protein. High protein, high estrogen. High estrogen. Very high estrogen.

That'll explain the fucking softness of your body. Yeah, you get tits when you eat those too much. Yeah, they just pop out like like tits. Yeah. It's brutal. That was a little act out. I liked it. I'm adding it to my act. I'll take it. I love a fucking act out. Hey, I'm a fan. Hey, I'm a fan. Hey, you need more act out, Sess. I know I do. You never do act outs. You guys want to hear my new joke. Yes. No. Yes. You're right. You shouldn't burn your joke How is it a burn? I don't think it's one I'm actually gonna tell on stage You never know bro, and you need to be right fine. I won't tell it and good Lord knows you need a

Save it. Oh, no, I need new material. I'ma- I'm fucked. You gotta just do what Sandler does. Go in with a little idea. Yeah, and then you throw it to your writer's room. Is that what he does? Yeah, that part of that lost me a little bit. He said that on Rogan? Yeah. He said, I throw it to my writer's room?

Well, I mean, he writes with a group of people because that's how he writes his movies. So he said he'll go in with an idea and then he'll be like, hey, I got this idea. And then they'll like 10 people will help him write a joke. And he said, that's how he built it. Ellen, when Ellen goes on tours, she's got, that's the same thing. She, her writers right with her. Yeah. That Adam Sandler episode of Rogan was great though. Adam Sandler is the fucking man. He's the man. I'd like to see him do stand up. I think he's really funny.

He does it now. Yeah. That's what he was last seven years seven years seven years. Did you listen before after I texted you after? It's a put on put on You got us you got us right you got me listening to Sandler. He is the man though He's maybe thinking like how could I if I have kids like how could I have a kid that was like Adam said? Oh, he's the man. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's like, hey buddy. What's up buddy? He's so funny. Oh, thanks buddy. He's just calling everybody buddy. That's really nice you buddy. He's so cool and like just so positive. He plays basketball five times a week. He plays, he plays basketball five times a week. Yeah, he just got it going on.

Rogan didn't watch Little Nicky over fucking over covid though. I know he watched every movie except for Little Nicky. And he didn't say why. It's probably the devil worship. Yeah, probably. It's probably because he's fucking right with the Lord now. Francis, did you just burn something that wasn't the match? No, just the match. That one for some reason, smelled extremely strong. It's like when you get shishitos,

It's like how one of them is spicy. It's nice. You got one stinky match per print to pay pack. Are you guys matches? Did you guys grow up with matches in the bathroom? No, we do have matching shoes on though. Speaking of matches. You guys never did matches in the bathroom when you take a nasty shit? No, we did that just cuz well, I've added them as an adult though It's a great in case we want a nasty shit in my house. It works really well. I can't believe how well it works Yeah, that's chill the smell immediately. I wonder who thought of that Some fucking some smelly bastard. Yeah, just try throwing everything at the wall

Sticky bastard just trying everything they can. Just like an aerosol can and a lighter, just like spraying. The guy who invented the flamethrower was actually just because his shit snuck. Yeah. You ever shit in, you ever smell shit out of water? It's nasty. A lot smellier than you think. Mm-hmm. I can't believe the water is doing that much of a heavy lift

It's really masking the smell I think I've told this story before but when I was in high school probably or maybe middle school me and my friends were gonna do the the poop dollar and and My buddy shit in a bag And then we put it outside and we then we forgot about it, and his mom found it. Oh no. You were doing it in your suburban neighborhood?

We were gonna try to, we never ended up doing it. There's probably no foot traffic. I know, we were the only ones. Because then we did, we TP'd someone's house. We TP'd someone's house, and the dude just walked right to the house. He was like, you're the only people that walk around on this street. And then his mom made us go and grab the toilet paper.

We had to go clean it up. We TP'd the house and they had people over and they were all sitting outside. And then rolls of toilet paper just started flying over the room. That's something that watching an Adam Sandler movie will make you want to do shit like that. as a toilet paper just started flying over the room. That's something that like watching like an Adam Sandler movie would like make you want to do shit like that. Yeah. Because you just want the camaraderie with your buddies. Yeah, it is fun. Those are the those are the good times. And then you start doing drugs and drinking, you don't do that anymore. Well, you do drink. You go, I'm not going to waste toilet paper, dude. Be a fucking you grow up. up no you start doing drinking and

you elevate your pranks to crimes yeah like we're gonna fucking run over all these fucking cars and then you stop on their windshields yeah let's drive down the freeway with our lights off the wrong way not funny that shit's not funny that's just not funny or cool or cool at funny. Or cool. Or cool at all. It's fucked up is what it is. Dude, Sass, me and you missed out on a massive opportunity. What was it? It was when Francis was like depressed and getting skinny.

We should have, that's when we should have kicked our workouts into high gear. Why? To try and catch him while he was, it's like when you hunt a weak animal. Bruh. We could have fucking. I would have seen you guys getting stronger and immediately would have kicked it into gear. I can't let this happen. No.

I can't. Just work out for 15 hours straight. Oh my god. I don't know. I don't have any interest in that. Why? Working out for, working out. Just going to Ruck rock just going on an

ultra-mare what is the ultra marathon anything about 26.2 brother so 26.3 is ultra marathon sir that's yes actually yes I saw someone like posting that they ran 30 miles around Manhattan they're like my first ultra marathon exactly that's only six miles more than a Or four miles more three point eight more Yeah, still a shit ton of miles. No, it's nothing That's barely anything And that's on fucking God. Do you guys think that if you if you went right now? somewhere, let's say Central Park to the loop and

Someone said I'll give you $10,000 if you can jog a marathon without stopping, but you can go at any pace. I mean, truly barely picking your feet off the ground, but you are jogging. Yeah, absolutely not. You don't think you could do it? Absolutely not.

For 10 grand? No. You can basically rest while you're doing your jog. What about 10 million, Tess? 10 grand, I would do it right now. Dude, I couldn't walk 26.2 miles right now. I actually think it'd almost be easier than walking 26.2 miles. No. If this office could raise $10,000, I would go right now. No one will ever do this. Wait, yeah, we need Big Cat back. Dude, that would be like a fucking, it would take you like 15 hours to do. No, he would enjoy it. I think it would take six hours. So you think you running at your

slowest pace. Think of this, right? It would take you six hours to run a marathon. No, because I'm not going to run my slowest pace the whole time. I'm going to run eight to nine minute pace and then rest running 12 minute pace, 13 minute pace. Do you know how slow that is? 13 minute mile pace? That's a joke. For 26 miles?

That's like when you drive past a person on the road and you say, good for them. That's the pace dude 26 miles you know what I'm talking you're on a heavy They're really kidding if they think that's a jog, but you know what good for them That people that train for marathons run marathons in like four hours or like six hours I think three hours is the big is the big number that like properly Super super fit marathon runners try to break. Yes.

I'm not trying to do that. I already said double. Three hours, dude, three hours on a marathon is like you've run marathons many times before. That might be six minute mile pace. Yes, that's like you're a super human athlete. You're talking an average of 12 minute mile pace. So you think you just double that? Yeah.

How was the furthest you've ever ran? 12 minute mile pace. So you think you'd just double that? Yeah. What's the furthest you've ever ran? Run would be, I don't know, five miles, probably. Oh my God. What would you be willing to put up? Part of me was like, you know what, he might've run,

you might've ran a marathon before. I might've run, have run. You think- Wasn't it run? No, it's have run, I might have run. Have run. You think... No. It's have run. I might have run. I don't like that. I'm going to keep sticking with ran. That's wrong. I don't care. You know what's wrong? Thinking you could run a marathon in six miles or six hours. So this is a lot of conviction.

Let's look it up. What would you be willing... Average marathon pace. What would you be willing to put up for this? I wish I had his... Right now. No training. I wish I had his conviction because I would put something up, but I just know Sash will put up nothing. But I believe that you could do it.

I know that I could do this. I know I'm not crazy. So the average marathon time for men is four and a half hours. Yeah, you're talking of a New York City marathon that has whatever, however many hundreds of participants and they're taking the average. And for women it's five. They're taking the average of like the Kenyans and then the fucking guy with no legs.

And a lot of the people at the marathon are doing it at your pace damn near. Like they're not running at a fast pace the whole time. They're going at a by mile like 16. They're going at a good for you pace I think beginner average beginner marathon time For someone that's 35 years old is five hours novice four hours and 11 minutes Like an extra hour on top of that

And i'm in shape You're in shape. You're not in marathon shape. That's massively different. No he's not. He definitely is. Dude, you have to train to build, your shins would be exploding. I'm going to get those crazy doping sneakers from Nike that almost got banned. That basically have mattresses in the sole. And I'm going to go and I'm going to do it.

I'd love to see you do it. We've got to find Billy football's dime. But you said this, you said you would be walking at your lowest pace You know a whole marathon on a treadmill Maybe in like here treadmill not real. Yeah, that's true. It took him like 12 hours going Right cuz you do like one mile at a time Hold on. We got a wrap.

Julio's here. Okay. Son of a boy dad, check us out. Maybe I'm crazy, but I believe that I could do it. Six hours, marathon. I believe you could run a marathon in six hours. I don't believe you could do it the way that you were just saying you could do it.

The question is whether I could do it right now. No training. But the original question was if you could do it the way that you were just saying you could do it. The question is whether I could do it right now. No training. But the original question was if you could do it like running or like walking slowly or like barely jogging. No, I said you could, you could, you can't stop jogging. Okay. Yeah. And you said, you could, you said you could do that. You hadn't, you, there was no time limit. No, I don't think you could run a marathon in six hours. Sorry, bro. Well, there you go right now right now That's what your money where I think if you trained you could easily do it your money

But if you don't if you don't train for long-distance running, I don't think you could run a marathon in six hours Put your money where your mouth is no Because I know I'm never gonna think about this conversation again, and I'm definitely putting my money on it What are you turning yellow? That's yellow. Yeah. All right, thank you guys for listening. We're going to be in Cleveland this weekend, me and Francis. Please get tickets for that. LittleSasquatchWebsite.com. Pop on K and Philly.

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