Son of a Boy Dad - The Semiquincentennial | Son of a Boy Dad #250

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

The Semiquincentennial | Son of a Boy Dad #250 -- Harry Settel, Adam Ferrone & Francis Ellis chat -- #Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- #Ad: Get $10 dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to https://Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code BOYDAD. -- #Ad: Go check out https://mymobilex.com or download the MobileX app from the App Store or Google Play. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I'm happy to see you guys. I haven't seen you guys in so long. It's crazy. How long has it been? Well, let's tell you, I guess we could... We're wasting precious fucking words. Yeah. Spot on. Alright, ready?

Ready. I'm so close, but we're not gonna do that. That's crazy. You can, I think. I think you could finish it live. Just keep going. Just keep going. I'm right here. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast.

Today it is November 11th. It is 11 a.m. We are here live from- Why do you say what time it is? Force of habit. Does it, is it for the listener? Is it to be like, if anything happened after this, then you know when it took place in time?

Yeah, yes, that helps. I like people to know exactly when we're filming. Yeah. Yeah. So we can't lie about anything. No, because like what if like Trump got shot today? Man, you keep going back to that. Oh, it happened the last time I said it. It's almost like you wanted to happen. No, the last two times. Because it's happened the last two times. Both times we've recorded the episode and

then we're like, all right, sweet, we're done for the week. And then, oh, fuck, Trump got shot again. Yeah, well, just maybe then it's something we should stop drawing attention to because it kind of feels like we're cosmically inspiring. Yeah, tempting fate. I'm not really a believer in that, but I don't think we can speak Trump getting shot in Texas. We did it twice. No, we did it once.

You did it. And the other time someone tried it and they checked his phone and he was listening to the last episode of Son of a Boy Dad. He had every single one downloaded. Yeah. He was an avid listener. This is episode 250. He had some tattoos of Son of a Boy Dad lyrics. I'm at the back.

The sign with my name written in marker. Damn. Look at that. I'm just going to have it reworked. Look at that. That's a fish. That makes it seem like it's my podcast. It is.

You guys joined. We didn't like it. We're going to have them redo it again. I don't know why they put my name up front. We're going to chisel it off. I think it's the amount of letters. Good news, I won that chess game, by the way. Thank you for letting me finish that.

Of course. I knew I was going to, so to have aborted the game when I was in the lead like that would have been a real sadness to me. Were you playing against the computer? No, no. Someone. Who was I playing? Some Ruski. I'll tell you. No, it was an American. It was... Magnus Carlsen or something?

Lazy boy with two Y's for lazy. He's a 5'27". He's got a star next to the flag. Very brave. I want to get a lazy boy. Huh? Very brave. I want to get a lazy boy. I said, I want to get a lazy boy. You could for real. I don't know where I would put it though. It would just take up my entire, I would have to get rid of my couch

and then just only have a chair. Or you just have them like touching each other. Yeah, it's an option. Tell them about the vitamin D. Oh, I got my, my doctor called me this morning and said my vitamin D is like insanely low. I don't think it's that funny. I mean, they are probably like funny because we know you don't go outside, bro.

You should have seen me this week. 10,000 steps every day. Where to strolling around just from the, from the fridge to the couch. No, I was, I was making sure I hit 10,000. It was actually it was pretty crazy. I on on Friday or Saturday, it must have been Saturday, I hit 10,000 steps by 130 p.m. At 7 p.m. I looked at my Fitbit to see how many steps I had 10,137. Dude, I gotta tell you, I have never told anyone in my life how many steps I had, 10,137. Dude, I gotta tell you, I have never told anyone in my life

how many steps I took in a day. Yeah, I mean, you're an overachiever. No, I just. Are you aware of it and you just keep it to yourself or you just are blissfully unaware? I don't track it. I mean, at one point I had, I think I had a Fitbit. But it didn't.

You're just not a stephaholic, bro. Nothing wrong with that. It just to me is like It's fake exercise. Well, they say 10,000 is like what you should be getting So I want to make sure I want if you never intend to actually improve your life and go to the gym No, if you don't move your body ever It's the fat man's exercise. It's fat. It's fat exercise. It's the fat man's exercise. It's like base, lowest baseline of exercise. From some, you know, I got 10,000 steps today.

At some point when my thighs stop chafing, I will work my way up towards a trot. And then from there we'll be jogging. And then at some point I'll respect myself. I don't think... Better floats your boat, man. I don't think steppers aspire to be runners. No. I think steppers just like, that's the goal.

We're comfortable with where we are. We're comfortable with who we are. Zero insecurity in our form of exercise. That can't be. If that were true, you wouldn't tell people how many steps you got. Bro, I don't even think, I think you're thinking too deep. Look, I'm trying to just have like a positive outlook on life right now and I feel like

you're really harsh in my vibe. Okay, I'll back off. 70,000 steps this week and all of a sudden you're coming in here saying whatever, you're still a bitch. No, I wasn't that mean. With your bitch ass cardigan. You like that? No.

I actually do like it. It's cozy. It's bespoke. It does look cozy, but it looks like the kind of thing that you could only wear if you have 0% body fat. I had the dogs this weekend. It would have formed titties out of nothing. It would have hugged every single fat roll on me.

It's not that tight, to be honest. Yeah, but I just know that material. It's more the fabric that hugs titty. Waffly. Sorry, I didn't mean to change the subject. So I had the dogs weekend and they stained every single possible surface that I have in my home. Everyone really because we have one that's old. Koji, you know, Koji, of course, Koji is very old. He's 12 and a half. He's not well. He's got cancer. Of course.

And he's kind of on his outs. So trying to give him a really gracious final chapter, whatever, yeah, send off. And he leaks from his ass. His poop doesn't stay in anymore. It just sort of, he has no idea that it's leaving him and he'll be on a carpet or on the couch and I'll put a blanket down and know that he's going to do this. And then he gets up and moves off the blanket onto a different part of the bear couch. And then I go out without knowing it for a cup of soup and I come back and he has created a skid mark across the cream color couch.

You have the leakiest dogs. That dog in particular is very leaky. Your other dog used to be really leaky. I brought your other dog up to my apartment one time. I walked down and stepped over the barricade in your front door to have a playdate with my dog and your dog was in heat, which is Oh yeah that's right. She's leaking. Yeah. Well we got that we got her neutered after that or spayed. We got her spayed after that because you got to wait till they've had one period. Yeah and I brought the period right up to my

apartment and let the period run rampant. And you made a Bolognese. Yeah exactly. It was a fucking... Doggy Bolliniers. But... I couldn't be Bolliniers. There's nothing more descriptive than Bolliniers and I could really add it to that. So, Kojai shit on the bed, on the couch. He shit on the rug. And then he actually shit, and I'm talking intentionally shit, in the middle of the night in my closet Yeah on the floor and I woke up and I thought man it smells bad in here But I thought maybe it was just a I had to take the trash out or something like that You're fishing pants wearing your fishing bag or something like that

Don't you hate the smell that that makes Don't you hate the smell that that makes? The fishing pants. That happened to me last week. The fishing pants, I wouldn't know. I haven't been tuning in. I know you haven't been. I would assume you would have listened, but. I watched some clips.

I like the clips. Keep going. So whenever I'm away, you guys just make fun of me. Yeah. So I don't want to watch the podcast. And then the comments are just, boy, the pot's so much better without Francis. And I'm like, fine, you know what? Fuck you guys.

I'm not coming back. No, it definitely isn't. And then you're like, look, we put your name on the sign. I'm like, God damn it. Last week we literally went through, we just went through the entire slate of NFL games for, it had to have been 45 minutes straight. Maybe longer than that. Talking ball?

We were just, yeah, not even talking ball. We were just like- Just guessing what was gonna happen. Just saying. It was just useless. Wow. We were pretty accurate though, 10 for 12 so far. Yeah, it was a really, I mean, we actually know ball at a savant level.

Better than any Barstool podcast by far. Easily. Including Busting with the Boys, including part of my taste. Yeah, Busting with the Boys is a right wing podcast. I wanna replace Busting with the Boys with Busting in the Boys. Yeah, where we coming bros. and I'm talking in Taylor and well Ah, those two guys bang bus bottom them

Yeah, bang busting with the boys. It would be very hard to bottom either of those guys Power bottom why cuz they're so powerful cuz they're so thunderously powerful I just think that they're going to try to top you. I feel like it'd be hard to top them just because... That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Sorry. I mean, make them bottoms. Yeah. I think bottoming them would almost be... That's the default setting. Yeah. You have to be kind of a PBR cowboy to get to wrangle the wand. But I am not, I am not bottling. I'm not letting my first bottom experience

be with Taylor LeWan. God no. I'll tell you that much right now. Taylor, you're gonna have to wait. It'll split you right down the middle. No, work my way up. It's gotta be like Cody Lanza or something like that. Exactly.

Someone who'll be gentle with you. Then last night night after spending hours of cleaning up Kojai and Follexing everything and dabbing and blotting, I go to sleep and Ruby's sleeping on the bed with me, my nice white bed. Yeah. In the middle of the night, 1am, I wake up to the bed shaking and I hear She beatboxing? I wake up to the bed shaking and I hear... Mm. Mm. She beatboxing?

She's dry heaving to throw up. And so I, in a fever dream, grabbed her and lying down, I did like a medicine ball twist. The Russian twist. With a dog and put her off the bed just in time to get her off the bed so that she'd throw up all over the rug. That's why you work out honestly. That's what you do it for. That is true. To be able to just wash a hand. Rug is so much better than bed, by the way, in the middle of the night. Why? Rug is better than bed in the middle of the night, I think. Oh yeah. Throwing up? But bed is

much easier to clean than a rug. So did you clean it in the middle of the night or did you just let it... I had to full X that. That's crazy. And I had to use paper towels to get the chunks. I would have been out like a light. This is a tomorrow made problem. Yeah.

No way in hell I'm cleaning this up tonight. Well, the thing you learn about stains when you grow up to be an adult is that you have to treat them immediately or else they set. And that's the longer you let them set, the worse the damage is. What technique did you go with? Follex. Follex? I cleaned it up and then I sprayed and then I blotted with like a hot rag. I would have just had the dog throw up all over so it looked like a pattern on the carpet

Yeah, just to try to save it. Yeah, acid wash, Moroccan knit rug. Because it's, to do it in the middle of the night is brutal. You have to go to sleep and then wake up and be like, I had the strangest dream. Yeah. You smell the fuck out of it. I don't know. You might forget if you do it at night, if you don't do it at night and then you wake

up just smack your foot right in Pile of vomit oh Kibble between your toes oh My dog throw up is the war Honestly, I don't think it's that bad well my dog throws up every time that she's in the car But I realize she doesn't chew any of her food. Oh, no. It's just a straight pile I could just serve it back to her food. Oh no, it's just a straight pile. I could just serve it back to her.

Well, they do often eat it right back up. Yeah. And I don't know if that's out of embarrassment or wanting the calories. We're just like, oh, a hot dog. I think it's... I don't know what it is, but my dogs do that too. Oh, forgive me. That was...

That's supposed to be inside. Let me just take care of it. Yeah. My dogs were eating their shit for a minute. That was disgusting. That's not great. Yeah. We had to, we had to fill their shit with bleach, get them to stop, teach them a lesson. Instead of just picking it up. You poisoned the shit. Had to put rat poison on the shit. You had to put a rat poison on the beach.

You ever hear Sebastian's, uh, bit about poisoning the, like the raccoon or whatever? Yeah. The poloni sandwich. Yeah. He tells us that Seinfeld on comedians in cars getting coffee and Seinfeld loses his mind. It's such a funny joke. It's so funny.

Yeah. He says that there's like a raccoon in there in the garden. And he's like, my dad's like, we're going to murder these things. Yeah. And he puts bleach here. He puts, uh, he puts antifreeze in the balloon. And then he said he wakes up the next morning. He goes, we go outside, pigeons, dogs, cats, all over the yard. It's like, and he's like, the neighbors are coming around,

you seen a cat? Nope. Is he like baloney by any chance? That's amazing. So funny. You got to poison your animals. You got to. That's the only, literally the only way out.

It's the only way to teach them a lesson. It's the only way through. Yeah. Shove their face in shit. That's poison. That. You got to. It's literally the only way out. It's the only way through. Yeah. Shove their face in shit. That wouldn't even work for my dogs, because they'd just be like,

fuck yeah. That's amazing. Keep it up. What's in that? Dinner is served. I think people who don't like pets and animals are a liability. Well, a lot of them had a, I feel like a lot of them were attacked young or something like that.

Do you think that's it? I don't know. My one friend was always scared of dogs and he was like fucking, I think he was better attacked. I can excuse that, but if someone just says, I don't know, we didn't have pets growing up. I don't really like animals. That's despicable. Well, those are the types of people that will stop at nothing.

Like what do you mean? To get ahead. I see. I don't. I don't at all. I don't know what you're talking about. They're devoid of that tender warmth empathy. Oh, I see. I see. I'm reading the Elon Musk biography by Walter Isaacson. He didn't have any pets? And it is unbelievable how good it is.

All he had was a lump in the middle of his stomach. Have you seen that dude's body shape? Yeah. Dude, it literally looks like someone put the Earth's core in the middle of his chest. It's so bulbous. Like, that has to be a tumor or something like that. It's gotta be something. That cannot be healthy.

I don't know if I've seen that. You haven't seen it? Mm-mm. Dude, his chest, not his stomach, his chest goes out like this. His upper abdomen. And then goes back into his stomach. I see, I respect his mind.

I don't really care much about his body. Yeah, but it's insane. But he's truly, everyone knows this. He's got Asperger's. Oh yeah, big time. And does not know how to... You know what I didn't realize, dude? I didn't realize that when Elon does the... When he goes up on stage and he jumps, I didn't realize that he's doing an X. Like for Twitter.

Yeah. Dude, you know that X has been his favorite letter and he's obsessed with it. Yeah, it's like his name everything but also Space X like he just oh yeah, everything. I actually never even thought about I should be in college and his original Rowan actually used to be super into Z No, I was in the ecstasy brother. Z would be tough to jump into on stage. Z would not be easy. You would need three guys to do that. That sounds like a Japanese game show.

I think you would need three. You don't need three. Jumping into letters. How would you do it? I think that is a game show. I think you can do Z without, just alone. Hosted by Travis Kelsey. We can't jump into it. That's a good actually a perfect Z.

That's kind of a little bit too ish to me. It's a little too ish, but I'm actually very shocked at how easily you pulled that off. Well, that's why we work out. That's why he works out. That's why he works out so that he can get into any letter when he needs to. I knew it. I knew it immediately. Get into a lowercase i, then, brother.

Oh, that's tough. Brother's going to have to Ichabod crane himself. Yep. Brother's going to have to pop top. I make this mistake, too. Apparently Ichabod is not the headless horseman. Really? Ichabod's the good guy.

Oh, it's like Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll. Mr. Hyde. No, no He's just like a normal citizen who I don't know the story but every witness is known is wrong Are you serious? Ikebis was the good guy all along Incubator It's so trash that Elon even has a favorite letter. Who gives a fuck about a favorite letter? Yeah.

That's a wild thing to have. I have a favorite letter. What is it? H? H. No, actually I don't. I was trying to think of what a good one would be. HGH.

I'm a big fan of A. For Adam, thank you for that. For Adam, yes. I love you back, my man. It's just a weird, I don't know, it's just a weird thing to be into. Anytime people have favorite letters month season, so I don't know, I feel like that's just weird.

Okay, you took a little bit of a jump there. J is a good letter. Favorite letter to favorite season, I mean those could not be more different. Favorite season is a very common thing to have. Like, oh yeah, I like the summer more than the winter. That's not the same as being like, I'm really into letter Q right now.

Well, this guy doesn't let anything slide, does he? But for people that argue that are like, no, the fucking fall is the best, it's like, okay, you got it. Yeah, that's true. I don't care what you like. I think it's common to have a favorite season. Yeah, but what you eat doesn't make me sure.

Me, spring. Me, spring. No fucking way, dude. It's summer. Well, that's like a whole genre of dude. Yeah. Barstool. Barstool sports. Yeah. That's like the whole thing. So fucking well, fall season hoodies. Meek Phil said he liked letter I. Frank the Tank loses it on him.

Fuck. Just realized my parents are coming today and I forgot to tell my doorman to let them come into my apartment. Shit. Call him now. Let me just make sure. Let me see what time they're getting here. The people that don't like pets, they must have slept with orbs or rulers. Yeah.

As like they're like, you don't like it. If you like a stuffed animal you like a pet mm-hmm like yeah a pet is a evolved version of a stuffed animal yeah it's a normal object soft squishy thing that a child likes if you're not into that there is a level of Elon Musk sociopath right maybe it's just plain old ass burgers do you see Alex Bennet's not getting her kid a birthday presents? That is, I see, it resurfaced. It's old.

Oh, that's old? Yeah, yeah. I thought that was new. They're getting their baby. I don't know what the gender is, but stocks. Stocks. Stocks. And she was like, good, because I do not want toys all over

the house. Good, because I hate toys. Tell you what, my grandmother, when I was maybe 10, gave my sister and me a handful of shares of Qualcomm. Tell me you held. I've held and I don't even know if that's a company anymore. Isn't that a stadium?

Qualcomm Stadium? That would be good news. That would be huge. They were able to buy a stadium. What if you didn't know and you were just a billionaire right now? You're like, I got to log on to my Fidelity Go account I haven't been on since I was 10. If they were able to buy a stadium. What if you didn't know and you were just a billionaire right now? I got to log on to my Fidelity Go account I haven't been on since I was 10. Yeah, I mean, this would be 25 years ago.

You've got to check in. I'm checking Qualcomm stock. You're not even curious? What if it's like $10 million a share? It's down 3.5 shares today. But year to date, I mean, I don't know, let's go to the five year. I mean, it's doing pretty good over five years at 167. Up 167%. No, no, it's at 167 is the price. It's up 84% over the past five years though. That's good. That's huge. Well, then think it's been 25 years.

Dude, do you still have access to those stocks? I don't know, I gotta talk to my parents. I mean, look at that chart. I'm pretty sure we have the receipts like as paper. Oh, it boomed. It's all green. It boomed. Let me see. When did she give it to you?

It would have been, yeah, like, How many shares did she get you? 2,000, 2,000-ish? This might be a couple racks that you've got. I mean, in 2003, 2002, it was at $20 a share, and now it's at $167 a share that was like Penn stock. Wow that's huge. 9X up 9X. How much did she get you? I don't know. No idea. Was it just one share? It's in a manila folder. Rich people must just forget about some wealth that they have.

Yeah. Big time. You know what I mean? What happens to like unclaimed stock and shit like that? It probably just goes until time ends. It's just like on a server that outlives us. Right? Yeah. I mean what else would happen to it? Like I have stocks in Apple. I probably never sell them.

If it reverts to like the company or some shit like that. I doubt it. Because what if you were genuine? Like what if Francis was genuinely just holding that stock forever? I am. But what if it was like, you don't even have 200 years from now? You don't know that. I do. I have a pretty good feeling. It's in a Manila folder from 25 years ago. The odds that you find, the odds that you, we will hit one of our 15 leg parlays before you find that folder. Do you, parents know where things are? I asked

my mom recently, where's the autographed note from Harrison Ford where he says, may the force be with you, Francis. The best, Harrison Ford." And she knew exactly where it was. Why do you have it? Why do you have it? What are you talking? This is one of his greatest tales. It's a great story. This is one of his great yarns. What do you mean? Are you not up on his yarns? You don't know that I have an autograph? It's on a piece of Royal Stationery. No, I did not know this. It's got the crown emblem.

Haslund don't know what Royal Stationery is? It's the Royal Family of Jordanans, the crown emblem up top. Ah. And then he wrote on it, to Francis, may the force be with you. Why? Best wishes, Harrison Ford. Well, he's also not a Jedi, so I don't think he can really be throwing out kind of the words that be the force for you.

He knew about this force, though. He came around. You can wish it. It's like saying happy Hanukkah. No, you can't wish it if you don't have it. No, it's like saying happy Hanukkah. You don't have to be a Jew. And also... That's like being an atheist and saying. No, you can't wish it if you don't have it. No, it's like saying happy Hanukkah. You don't have to be a Jew. And also-

That's like being an atheist and saying bless you. You don't get- Yes, that's fine. No. God bless you would be out of order. You're saying God bless you. I think that you can wish force on people. Dude, if you're not a Jedi, you can't do anything

with the force. You don't get to gatekeep the force. If Luke Skywalker hit you up and was like, hey Francis Hope you're feeling better My understanding of whatever this whatever the whatever the reasoning for this letter was yet. Hope you're hanging in there No, they were just hang it wasn't a make-a-wish foundation. They were hanging out with one another. There's a picture Yeah, how long ago was him Harrison Ford and King Hussein of Jordan? That's right. I was probably I was probably eight. And was all A.

It was right before I got my Qualcomm stock. And I can tell you this much, if I had had my Qualcomm stock when I met Harrison Ford, I would have been a lot more confident. Yeah, that's true. You could have told him, given him a heads up. You could have probably tipped him off or sold it to him. Harry Ford, I heard you just bought a four thousand acre ranch out in Wyoming want to go have Z's on another thousand

When I take your private jet out there, I don't have the cash right now tight on that offer for the next 25 25 years I got a good feeling 25 years from now I think I'm gonna be doing all right this Q comm is gonna be up 9x I can't believe we talked about two Harrisons in this episode. I know. That's insane. That has to be some kind of podcasting record. But everybody named Harrison's last name starts with B. Butker. Barnes. Harrison... I mean Harrison Fugman.

Oh, I didn't know. Is who I was thinking of that's Harrison Bucker Harrison Bucker that's a third Harrison if we could find a way to talk to him Harrison Bucker really came back from all those weird Amish comments he had I Think what was he saying about the Amish? He just is Amish and said we in the Amish community don't believe that women should ever leave the kitchen Damn, I saw a video this weekend of an Amish dude on a riding on a horse in like He had the fucking thing that he was sitting in. The sleigh.

Buggy? Buggy. His sleigh. He was passed out drunk, and the cops were like, YO! And he just wasn't waking up, and they had to cut off the horse with the car, and then wake him up, and he was like, I'm just trying to go home. But he was dead, he was dead asleep. Well, I mean, how is that even, it's not even a DUI. It's really, the horse has to be drunk. And then I saw another video of a dude on a horse

drinking a beer hammered. And he goes, it's not a DUI. He goes, you can't give me a DUI for being on a horse drunk. I kind of buy that. He's just a passenger. The horse is sober. Yeah. As long as a horse hasn't had some infused barley or anything like that, I think you're good to go.

Yeah. Dude, someone used to tell me that you could get a DUI if you were sitting in the front seat of your car behind your wheel. Car is off, but the keys are in the ignition. Yes. That's DUI. If the keys are not in the ignition, it's not DUI. Yes, exactly. And for the Amish in their buggies, my guess would be that that translates to... The buttons of their shirt are done or something?

Or they're holding the reins, probably, it's DUI. I don't think they can get DUI. I think they have their own set of laws. I think they have their own set of laws, similar to the Native Americans with their casinos. Do you think that the Amish are aware of the Hasidic Jews? Yeah. You think they know about them? Yeah.

Do you think that they- They probably play pickup every week and just brawl it out. Like travel teams? Yeah, I guarantee those guys play pickup. Flaks shirts versus foreskins? Yeah. those guys play pickups. Flats shirts versus foreskins. Yeah. They ride their horses from, from, from Brooklyn up to, up to Pennsylvania.

Yeah. That's, that's what I mean. Like Jeff Nadeau's town. They're so similar in, well, maybe curious yoyle and uh, isn't curious yoyle like relatively close to Curious Yo-Yo? Imagine being on the highway driving to Philly and you just see like 20 Hasidic Jews just walking down the highway in jerseys heading to Pennsylvania for their pickup game. Basketball is the great equalizer because like Mormons are playing it. Oh yeah. I assume the Native Americans are playing it when they're not.

They play lacrosse. The wing and lacrosse sticks around. They play lacrosse. The wing and lacrosse sticks around. They play lacrosse. There's none of them that have it. What's that movie? The lacrosse movie? I don't know what it's called, but I know that people that were in it.

They sent out a casting call to our team to play the bad guy white team. Yeah. Like the Swedish team from Mighty Ducks or whatever. The team was like, they were winning so bad. team to play like the bad, bad guy white team. Like the Swedish team from Mighty Ducks or whatever. The team was like, they were winning so bad. They were like, play lefty this game. They were like, used her off-hands. Yeah.

So that's a scene in the movie. A team did that against my grade school soccer team. Really? They were like only left foot. The Haverford school. That's brutal. It was so fucking brutal. That's a really good school.

They're good at sports. They're amazing. They're incredible. Or they were really good at fucking soccer, especially in like the grade school fucking system. I know that Haverford School. That's in like Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania. Getting whooped in sports as a child is always crazy.

But it's also, like we played, I remember being on, playing hockey, and I remember we showed up to the rink and the other team showed up in full suits and where I'm wearing like sweatpants and a t-shirt. And I was like, dude, we're losing this game. We lost by like 15 goals. They had like three paces as they walk in.

They all had suits. I had like my fucking pads on in the car, like walking into the locker room already. That was what you do if you were late. Yeah, that's what I mean. That was the worst if if you were late. Yeah. That's what I mean. That's that was the worst. If you're late, your dad's like start getting ready. Just in the back seat, putting your skates on.

Dude, it was, there's nothing funnier than like in a game where you're big underdogs and you somehow convince your coach and your captains convince you guys, you have a chance. Oh yeah. You get super hyped up and you see them doing their warmup and you're like, bunch of fucking dicks. Yeah. Those guys, like they're making a lot of noise

and you're like, it's nervous noise boys. They're nervous, nothing to lose today. And then the game starts and you get fucking walloped and you're like, oh my God. First contact is like devastating to you. Bone shattering, you know, hits're like, Oh my God. First contact is like devastating to you. Bone shattering, you know, hits and like, you get run off the field and you're like, we were, we were wrong.

Yeah. Well, it's gotta, it's gotta suck for the parents too. Cause you gotta be like, why are we even playing this team? Yeah. Like it's just like, like 15 goals. But then the halftime speeches too, when they're like, I'll never even had that, this is like the last time some of you guys will ever play football. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, hey, leave it all out there. You probably will never play football again. Yeah. Do you guys remember the single

worst sports loss, most one-sided loss you ever suffered? The one that I just said, probably. Yeah. Yeah. 15 goals in hockey. We were, it was in Lake Placid. It was at a tournament and we were, we were doing well and then we played a team that was like in a different like conference or whatever, like a, they were like a private school or some share, like a club team and we played them and we were like the

public town team and yeah, they showed up in suits and we got our fucking asses destroyed on like the ice rink that the 1980 Olympic team played. If I'm your coach I'm using that as some kind of inspiration. Oh no I think that was like I think we like all drove back to Massachusetts after that. It was brutal. They didn't even make you fucking run it again, do like, do lines or whatever. When you're that young, if you're playing against a team that's like a club team, like an actually good team, those guys practice like every single week. And they're also like,

the size difference is just like an unfair advantage. Super fast. Yeah. What was yours? When did you get smoked the worst? Well, I remember the game I won that was the most one-sided, which was we played Bideford in soccer when I was at Shevras my freshman year. And we knew it was going to be a game where we could sort of play our subs and I was a freshman so I wasn't quite starting yet. This was high school or college?

High school. I scored five header goals. What is that? Just with my head in soccer. Do you not know what a header is? Oh my god. I thought you're talking about lacrosse. Sorry You score with your head Dude and every time ESPN every time someone on the side line would yell, that's using your head, Francis. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. That's a good one.

And that's how you got into comedy. Yeah. You're like, wow. That's also where the concussions started. You started out as a physical comedian. Yeah. Yeah. That could definitely do the concoct.

Oh my god, that had to have been the concussions. But I scored five header goals. And we won 14-0. It got to a point where it was like the second game of the season. And it got to a point where it was like the second game of the season. And it got to a point where we knew we didn't want to score any more goals. So when we would have a clear breakaway, which just kept happening because they were that bad, we'd sort of pass it to their goalie and the ball would like hit a little uneven patch of grass right before

his foot and bounce over his foot and go in. And then we would just say, well, it's your guys field maintenance person's problem. But I became the leading scorer in the state after that one game. Damn. Yeah, because I had five goals. That's awesome. Five header goals is insane. Yeah. That's good.

I mean, the accuracy of the crosses had to be fucking nuts, but you were probably just so much bigger than whatever defender was bigger And I was they were open headers as far as I could tell it wasn't just corners and stuff. It's so fucking dude I have I don't know if I've told I think I've told this story But I have a very vivid vivid memory of being in I was very young I was probably in like Second or third grade and a ball went like you like ricocheted off something in soccer and it went like Super high up in the air.

And I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna head, header this, head this, head butt this. I don't know what the singular. Head it. Head it. I'm gonna head this. I'm gonna give this ball head. Yeah.

And I'm gonna suck this ball off. And, and I was looking up at it and it starts, it starts coming closer to me. Last second, I bail, turn my head, just smashes me in the cheek. Immediately I just went down, I immediately just taste blood. I think I probably started crying. Hello, dude.

Damn. I was probably like eight years old when that happened. It's so funny because at that time, headers seem like such a natural part of the game, but for like the young, undeveloped, soft head, it's like dangerous. And if you don't do it directly on the front of your head, you're like going to get a concussion. It's like a headbutt almost. I didn't get good at head until I was in high school, when our coach actually took us aside and taught us head.

Yeah. Honestly, that's why I didn't get good until I linked up with Bussin' with the Boys. They had me bottoming for them. What you're saying is very true, though. I used to go for them, and I would just hit it directly on the top of my skull. Yeah.

It hurts so much. No one's kicking balls that have the right angle for you to be able to hit it. When you're a little kid, the ball's just going straight up and coming down like a drone strike on the top of your head. This softest part of your, like your skull doesn't develop until when? You're in Iraqi wedding.

I think until you're 21. Yeah, a Syrian wedding. I think until you're 21. Yeah, Syrian wedding. Oh my God. Fucking war criminals, all of them. That's it. Damn, so you were in Florida all week? Yeah, I was there. I was in Palm Beach from Saturday until Tuesday afternoon.

And then I took an Uber from Palm Beach to Miami. How long is that Uber? Hour and a half. What the fuck? And I went to a hotel in Miami with Dana Beers and our producers. We went out and got Turkish tapas. Do you recognize that picture?

You did. Turkish tapas. That's Dave's pool. Turkish tapas. You're taking this from the Bayside. You're standing right on the bay. You were in Miami. Did you go in? Did you go in the pool? Did you try to break the record? It's five. Five lengths underwater is the record. They're making a plaque right now. Me and Francis

were both at Dave's pool independently this week. Should I hit them up? Say, can I come get a swim in? Just to even things out. It needs to become a rite of passage for any bar so employees lucky enough to find themselves at Dave's Miami home. They should try. Dude, I think that there's, I think there's precious few of us. I know. I think, I don't think there's any others. Who else do you think has cracked the doorway? Gaz? It may just be us. Gaz has almost certainly been there.

Me, you, Dana and gas. Yeah anybody else. I'll find my way there may be some just one-off Situations here. You were like bobbing down the bay from house to house like peeking up this evening I'm gonna pull up Dave's now. You should fish off of Dave's dock. Yeah, I'm sure it's great fishing. It's the Bay of Biscayne. Damn. And what's the... There's big peacock bass. Oh, it's morning side? Big bay bass. Big bay bass.

Yeah, I think that's right. More, like these are all things that Drake has rapped about, Biscayne, that's morning side. We were staying, I don't know what it's called, but we were staying in the arts district. Wynwood. Wynwood.

Yeah. And there's some cool stuff going on over there. Wynwood rules. Wynwood was cool as hell. I. And there's some cool stuff going on over there. Wynwood rules. Wynwood was cool as hell. I've never been to Miami. I went into a clothing store and I bought everything. Yeah, Wynwood's awesome.

About five pairs of pants. Bam. That seems unnecessary. Well, Hairball, when you are a single guy like me, you know, you got to keep it fresh. What's the optimal amount of- Bro, all you need is just one pair of pools. No, it's not that. What's the optimal amount of pairs of pants? Because I think holes? It's not that what's the optimal amount of pairs of pants because I think it's somewhere between yours

It's two one pair of LL bean pants and one pair of cool Actually, I guess three you got a pair of pairs of pants that you wear your you've got your Patriots pants I have a Patriots. I guess I have four pants you for pants I have my pairs of pants because four pants makes it just I guess I have four pants you for I have Because four pants makes it just seem like you have two pants. No, I got four pants I got any pants do you have I got my cools? I got my Patriots sweatpants So you got your pants from a cigarette company? What are cools?

For these are cools. These are like the best fishing pants that money could buy. How do you spell it? Hey you? that money could buy. How do you spell it? K U K U H U L or K U H L. I don't remember what you're cool. These are great pants. Quick dry. Those are the best pants I've ever seen you wear. I'm more comfortable with you being around wearing those than when you're wearing fucking crusty crummy Patriots pants in but um I have my I have I have LL Bean jeans. I have my LL Bean blue pants You have worn the jeans in a long time. I haven't worn the jeans in a while. What's happen? Why not? I just go through phases I'm not a huge jeans guy because you heard mean girls last year say they get the ick from jeans I think I get the ick from jeans on myself you wore wore them for every day for like, you kind of, this is what you do.

You get a new pair of pants and then you beat them to death. Beat them to death. Then you get tired of them. Yeah. They're not cool anymore. That's why you need to rotate. Well, I need to get another pair of those L.L. Bean pants. Those are the only pants I've ever bought that fit me perfectly.

Here's what we're going to do. Christmas is coming up. Yes. We're going to get him a pair of L.L. Bean pants. Yes. No. In addition to, what else do we have to get him we has some other presents for him someone will wait leave it in the comments what that what presence we promise yeah I'm gonna get a pair of white sambas size four for UK I'm done

if you're gonna get me a pair of shoes mattress Mattress pad. Mattress pad for camping. Was that one of the ones you said? I have one. Great one, too. No, you didn't like it. You weren't happy about the one. Oh, no, I was. It was a tent.

It was a tent. I got two tents. We're getting you a tent. I got two tents. Your tent's not good. A third tent. I literally have two tents. Everyone knows you need at least four tents.

One for you, one for Bo, one for Peter. I have one two-person, one four-person. I want you to have more tents than pens. Yeah. Two-person little life hack. Two-person is actually a single person. We need you to match your pants to your tents. Yeah. A tent for every pants. Like capsule clothing. If you really want to do me, get me something. All right, let's not get greedy. You've already got four presents for you. Well, I mean, if we're making lists, I mean, I lost my sunglasses, my Chromopops. No.

Devastated. How? Devastating. I don't know. I think I left them in my sister's car. And I keep telling her to look. And she's like, they're not there. So now I got to go find them next time I go home.

But I reordered what I thought were the same ones. Not even close. I got to return them. I don't even know how to return something. I gotta mail it? Don't even try. It's pain. Just give up. Just keep it.

No, I gotta return them. Returning is such a girl behavior. Dude, they're too expensive. That's crazy. They're too expensive and I'm never gonna wear them. No, it's girl behavior, bro. Don't return. Dude, they were like 200 bucks. Just live with your mistake.

No, I'm definitely returning them. All right, guys, let's take a second and talk about Game Time. Game Time has a new feature and it's the Game Time Picks feature and you have to get on Game Time. It is going to be changing the way that you go to any event. Let me just pull it. Let me show you how easy it is to pull up Game Time and Game Time Picks.

Hold it up right there. Oh, New York Don Tolliver concert at the Barclays. Don Con? There's a Don Con. And New York Comedy Fest at the town hall. Vince Giordano, Laura Marling, Eric Gales. Dude, I was in Philly. There's a hotel called the Barclay.

Really? The Barclay. That's crazy. I took a picture. I need to send it to you. But these people are at the Barclay and that's not the Barclays. I believe you. Barclay. That's crazy. I took a picture. I need to send it to you. But these people are at The Barclay and that's not The Barclay. I believe you.

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Google Play. Unfuck Google Play. Google Play. Un-fuck your fuck with mobile X. I didn't know they gave us the green light. Let it sit on a shelf and fester and make you angry that you can't sit. I literally put it, I put them back in the box. Like the box that it was shipped in. You're never gonna return them.

I'll return them. I think I'm actually, maybe I'll do it today. Bring down a shipping label and smack that on and I'll do it today That's what you mean. No, say you have like a meeting. You're just like returning some sunglasses Oh, I actually have a pretty sick logistical thing. I don't know if it's a logistical. Let's call it a bureaucratic Yeah, that seems more reasonable I had when I was in Amsterdam, I went shopping there and You know you get if you buy something at a store

and you get the receipt and then you go to the airport on the way out of the country, you go to the duty-free sort of like tax exchange place. Yeah. And you give them the receipt, you'll get the tax refund. You're not charged the tax, which was $90 on my purchase, right? But I got some shoes.

Really? Some Loro Piana summer loafers. Summer walks is what they're called. Timeless. Yep. And I purchased those and I went to the airport at Amsterdam. My flight was super early. So I had to go, I had to walk through three different

terminals from where I was dropped off to get to the duty free thing. Wait, so you're telling me I'm not to return $200 sunglasses, but you walked 10,000 steps to get $90 back? I didn't know it was that far. You know how hard it is to return those sunglasses. I live next to the post office. That's not true.

We've been to your house. It's so close. It's like a block away. You have a vitamin D deficiency. I do. I don't know how you even know where the post office is. Because I went to vote. At the post office?

Yeah. You did absentee? Yeah. Good man. I know. That's what I like to vote. At the post office? Yeah. You did absentee? Yeah. Good man. I know. That's what I like to hear. Vance. Commit that election fraud.

I voted for JD. Jurist Dr. Vance. Continue. Another book rec I think I told you guys. Hillbilly Elegy is very good. His autobiography. Yes. He pretty much ate fast food his entire life,

because that's all he had access to. Broke boy. Yeah. Yikes. Supposedly. Sounds like he grumbles. If you can get fast food every day, you can go get a rotisserie from the grocery store.

Right, and it's cheaper. Be real. Be real. Get five rotisseries for the week. And RFK is going to fix all of this. When he takes the fluoride out of our water. Exactly. RFK is going to prescribe one rotisseries for the week. And RFK is gonna fix all this. When he takes the fluoride out of our water. Exactly. RFK is gonna prescribe one rotiss a day.

Autism will fucking drop through the floor, but everybody's teeth will just fall out of their skulls. Oh yeah. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna provide bear meat to every able-bodied family. Yeah. Yeah. Just finding bear cubs that he's hitting on the road.

A bear in every pot. Universal bear income. How long do you think a bear lasts, like for food? Depends on how you cure it. Are we talking black or brown? Brown. Good brown. Grizzly.

Grizzly will last you a year. You think? Oh yeah. A year? A heart alone is three weeks. You ever have bare heart filet mignon buddy So nutrient-dense it's incredible not need to eat anything else your vitamin D deficiency will go to a surplus of vitamin

You'll be handing out vitamin D. I don't think so. You'll be able to spit tablets of vitamin They're telling me three months of prescription vitamin D. What? Yeah of vitamin D. They're telling me three months of prescription vitamin D. What? Yeah. What? Jesus. No. You know, you can get all that from a Brown's heart. Really? Yeah. A brown bear. Well, they're good too. But yeah, brown bear heart. The temple of doom was about... Speaking of Brown, Francis, did you see that speed pulled out of the lunchly event in India? After he beat Noah Lyles in the race? Yeah. I show?

Yeah, I show. I show? Yeah. I knew you would be in touch with that. Yeah, I saw him race Noah Lyles and everyone said it was really close. I mean, I show we really brought his A game that day. Well, he thought he tied. I gotta believe Noah Lyles was not in top gear.

Who gives a shit? Exactly. No, I don't know. I think I show was just that fast. But now Jake Paul is trying to race I show. Jake Paul is a clown Jake Jake is fighting Tyson on Sunday. I know or it's Friday. We'll see about that. I think it's actually Friday No depends on where you are in the world. What is it Saturday?

Do I think it's Friday really? Mm-hmm No Are you guys gonna go out for that? Gotta hit the bars got got to hit the bars. Gotta hit the bars for Paul Tyson. Do bars have Netflix? I read it now at Gramercy Theatre. I'm selling $100 tickets for people to come watch the pay per view. It's just better to watch with a group.

Yeah. Get some pizzas. Am I crazy for thinking there is a world where Mike Tyson wins the fight? Yes. I'm crazy. Yes. Well, the one thing that Jake Paul doesn't have going for him is he was never poor. To be a great boxer, you got to have been a poor dude. Yeah, you also have to not be 60 years old.

I don't know. What about RFK? People told me I couldn't be a successful comedian because I was never poor. Look at me now. But is that true? Aren't most successful comedians- I am a middling comedian. Thanks to my middle class upbringing. Don't you think most successful comedians have a similar

background to you? Like who really got it out the mud as a comedian? Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, all grew up incredibly wealthy. I think Gaffigan might have been pretty wealthy growing up. Not sure about that. Who else? Who else? All those guys that went to Georgetown for big leah. I'm just assuming. I actually don't know that they're-

No, Nick Roll and John Mulaney are definitely- Hood rich. Yeah. Hood rich. No, not hood rich. They're like by an island rich. They grew up in Rye. Yeah. rich. They grew up in Rye. Yeah.

One of them grew up in Rye. I think Nick Roll. Yeah. His family is like billionaires. Yep. Yep. Yeah. So that's like, that's not an exclusionary factor.

No. But for boxing, it used to just be you had to get out of the favela. You had to get out of the slums of like the... Yeah. Well, you got to have that dog. You got to have the dog in you. Yeah. You need more rooftop for your pigeon coop.

Which makes me... Or maybe like, I don't know, some kind of trauma or something like that. Where is Jake Paul finding the inspiration? I don't think Jake... Jake Paul didn't grow up rich. Dude, I was thinking about this. Mike Tyson talks about how his first fight ever was when he... Some bully on his block caught one of his pigeons. And Mike said, give me the pigeon back. And he goes, oh, you want this? And then the guy ripped the pigeon's head off. And Mike Tyson fought the kid because he was so upset. If I had grown up and the bully on my block had ripped our golden retrievers head off in front of me,

I would be a boxer today. Absolutely. That that happens in front of me, are you kidding? Well, you gotta hope. You gotta hope that you were a boxer, but there is a slight percentage that you enjoy it, and then you get the hunger, and then you become a serial killer. And then you link forces with the bullet. Yeah. Also, people don't talk about how nutrient-rich Golden Retriever Heart is. Well, it's a touchy subject.

How long could you live off a Golden Retriever Heart? But RFK is gonna make us eat Golden Retrievers for sure. RFK said his first thing he's going to do when he gets an office is every golden retriever will become a meal. It's a fact. I know it. And it's sad to say, but also, I mean, they won't mind. Why do you think China's rising to the top?

Goldens are notoriously willing dogs. That's what I mean. And notoriously tasty. I don't think golden retrievers would really protest that much if they had to sacrifice for the greater humanity. They love to swim and the salt water acts like a brine. Yeah, it's like pickling the... For a good golden foot.

It's like smacking some salt on a steak. Oh yeah, salt bae. Which is the best way to do it. I'm gonna go to your house, Francis, I'm gonna salt bae all over your dogs. Don't you fucking dare. Yeah, you can do it. Give me the leaky one.

The leeks add taste. Bailey Garland used to cook with leeks. I know. Leeks are delicious. Exclusively. He made like leek cookies. Leeks are nasty. I'm not sure about that.

It wasn't bad. Gross. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. It was just, it was different. So tell us about Florida. Oh yeah. So I set the record for most lengths underwater in Dave's pool at five and I had done four the first time. Who confirmed that?

Dana was there watching. What about Dave though? Cause Dave, what if Gaz got six? There's no chance. Dude, Gaz is in very good shape. Yeah, but I practiced this. Have you ever seen his body? Gaz's body is amazing.

Really? Body, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. Titty face ass fuck. You've never seen Gaz's body? We got to get him up here to peel his top off. And he doesn't take his shirt off, he peels. He peels it. He rips it.

Well, I mean, he's not as, he's not as built as you, but he might have more ab definition than you. Oh damn. I don't want to be, I don't want to harsh your vibe. It's going to light a fire on the difference. He definitely has better abs than you. There's no chance. Dude, he has abs that you like see on your like, like you like they'll come up on

your phone and you're like, what the fuck? As of today, I will not eat for a week. You have now made me gone. His abs would still be better than yours. I promise you there's nothing you can do. It's just genetics. Who the fuck can talk like that? You don't know what you're talking about. You do. It's just genetics. Don't talk like that. You don't know what you're talking about.

You could know it's genetics. What? At least you could know it's genetics. Yeah, it's definitely genetics. Cause I don't think, I mean, I don't even know if it works. No, he's gotten in shape. He's a runner now. He's a big time runner.

Oh, he runs. He does? Yeah. Well, he also drinks a lot. What's he running for? Only vodka, I think. And he said he's never done a performance enhancer. I'll take a triple vodka neat.

Make sure it's room temp. I guess he is always. Just in case I need to treat a wound. He drinks a lot of high noon's, which I guess that's vodka. Yeah, but he said he never has done a performance enhancer in his life. I don't think he's treating those wounds with high noon's. Gaz said that he's never done a performance enhancer.

Yeah. Not even like Adderall. He said nothing. Nothing is touched in Hazard. Just because you're really defined doesn't mean you're really good at doing underwater lengths. I have been practicing my underwater. Dude, he's built like Michael Phelps.

He can unhinge his shoulders. Hazard has no hair, so I have a lot of drag. Right, exactly. I have a lot of drag. I'm swimming with a sea anemone on top of my head. I'm pretty confident that Gaz could outlap you. You don't understand what we're talking about. Yeah, I do. Talking about five lengths of the pool.

Yeah, but what goes into the technique of swimming underwater? And we don't know if gas has any game on that. Lung capacity. We don't know, yeah. It's about lung capacity. No, it's about going slowly and not panicking and finding a very happy place and breathing evenly for a long time before you start your lengths. You don't think gas can do that?

Holding your breath for a long time and then as you're starting to get to the end, then you start letting the breath out. I don't think gas has ever panicked. Do you know why that is here, Paul? Why? Because if you let your breath out too early, you start to sink. You want to stay towards the top. The lower to the bottom you go, you sort of swim in almost like an elliptical path.

Interesting. You got to make your turns nice and succinct. I mean, Gaz is going to hear all this, and then he's going to apply it. And then the next time he's down in Miami, he's going to be ripping reps. Should I text him and ask how many laps he's done? If he were to do more than me, then I would go down there,

and I would not stop swimming underwater until I was dead. We would need a spotter. I would not come up for air. What would you do with gas? He did like nine. Well, I would know I couldn't top that. You don't think you could top nine?

Not the way that I top the Bussin Boys. But what if you threw your theories out the window and you just went as fast as you can? That's wrong. I've done it both ways. You need oxygen more when you go fast. Your body needs to build up CO2 and you need oxygen. What was Dave saying when you were doing it? He was on the phone with, I don't know, like the most important people in the entire fucking

world doing real shit. Dana was swimming with his boxers. I'm in some fucking gay swim trunks. So you brought some trunks. He's on the phone with fucking trunks. I wore trunks for the interview. I wore trunks for the segment. And they were my most European cut trunks.

Beautiful. So we saw head. We saw cock and ball. We definitely saw outline. Yeah, I would have love to be there. Did you go in his guest house? No. What did you think of the layout of the backyard?

It was the most outdoor furniture I've ever seen. There were so many different areas that you could have a conversation in. And I wonder if he really hosts. There were so many spots to sit down with a group of like four or five people and have a long conversation. Bad for hurricanes though. No, they said they were untouched. Got to throw all that furniture in the pool.

No, they said they were untouched during the... Is that the way to batten down the hatches from a big storm? No, that's what they do in Florida. Why? Before hurricanes, they take all the outdoor furniture and they throw it in the pool. I don't believe you. Why would that work? Why would that be the thing? Because then it doesn't blow away. No, it just put it in the pool. It won't blow away.

Like a chair. There's like a river system in his backyard. There's just like mindful water features all over the place. There's like a seating area with like a TV, but then there's like a bar area. There's a lot of TVs. I got to get down there. You got to get down there. You're going to love it. Because he was like, yeah, crazy. Harry hasn't been down yet. Yeah. He's been texting me telling me to come down and just haven't been able to find the time.

It's crazy. I mean, will you have these road dates now? Where are you going? Indiana or something? Oh, Illinois. Yeah, I'm going to Illinois, Indiana, and Columbus. That's brutal. That's probably why he gets mad that you do road dates, because you can't be with him.

I know. Yeah, he doesn't like that. He doesn't like that you're not with him. I know. I cleared my schedule so I could do the lengths. It was so nice. You know what you should do is you should try to Wim Hof and then do it. Dude, you know what's crazy? I took this Uber from Palm Beach to Miami and it was election day. And inevitably the guy started talking to me about politics. And he was a guy who was trying to, for an

hour and a half. I mean, I didn't know there was nothing I could do. And at one point he was talking to me about, he kept trying to say like, look, I'm not thrilled that, you know, I don't love Trump, but I think he's a better candidate. Right? I'm like, yeah. And then we get to Miami, we're 20 minutes out and he goes, buddy, I got to tell you right now. If I don't piss, I'm going to piss my pants. And

we were in traffic coming into Miami on roads that like highways that were under construction. And we get to this overpass. And he pulled he goes, Do you mind if I pull over I said no no problem and there's no trees there's no yeah place he goes to an overpass and that's the start of the overpass and there's traffic below and he peed off the overpass I thought it was over water. No. It's over traffic. Into cars. And I took a video of it.

But I deleted it because I felt weird. It's in your recently deleted. Understandable. It was an Instagram story. Oh, it's gone. That's gone, right? Yeah. Did you see his penis? No, he had his back to me. So then you're fine. That's a crazy move. I don like, is he in the wind?

I don't understand. I've been on long road trips with my friends, and I'll be like, I gotta piss real bad, and Bo will just pull over on the side of the highway. And I'm like, dude, I can't piss if there's someone waiting behind me at the urinal. Let alone 18-wheelers just causing my piss to just end up in my mouth. There's no way I'm peeing here Somehow it's acceptable. I don't understand. I don't think it is it's public urination, but it's also literally legal The cops have to be like, okay. Well, where's he gonna go?

You should have just gone. You should have just gone bottle Yeah, but that's also like would Would you have rather him gone bottle? No. I was fine with what he did, but it was one of the most brazen things I've ever seen. Cause there was so much infrastructure going in different directions. Lots of people had a full view of his penis.

And I think he probably sprinkled it on cars. Oh, it looks like the air conditionings are leaking. You're just getting pissed on. Imagine. I mean, that's what I thought. Looking up through the windshield, you see the head of a penis draining on top of you. You're in your, like, oh, Jackie, let's pop the top.

Yeah. You're just in the convertible. Yeah, especially in Miami. So many tops off. You're just in the fuckingible. Yeah. Especially in Miami. So many tops off. You're just in the fucking motorcycle. You're on your fucking Vespa and just get a yellow streak on your perfectly white t-shirt and pants. You know, people are wearing white pants, getting pissed off. Oh yeah. He said that the egos and he got to get back in and

he goes, that's the big downside to being an Uber driver. You just, you never know when you're going to get to piss. A dude hit me, an Uber driver hit me with a, I got into his car and then he immediately pulled over and started getting gas once I was in his car. I've had that happen. Bro, it wasn't even that. It was like a 30 minute drive. It's like, why would you?

Yeah, but why not get it before or after? Why make me suffer? The consumer. Pank's empty, bro. But don't take the ride then. I don't know. I'm anti-Uber. I never use Uber anymore.

Yeah, I've seen you lifting. I use cabs. It's a heavy lift. I walk. I bike. Have you walked to the office yet? Have I walked to the office? Yeah, from your home.

Yeah, all the time. Really? Yeah. I feel like that would satisfy your 10,000 step quotient. Oh no, not even close. It's like 3,000. Oh really? Mm-hmm.

You go there, you go home, you forget something, you go back halfway. That'll get you to 10? Yeah. I'm so sad about your fucking, your D deficiency. I'm not, I'm pumped. Why? Because at at least I know you're gonna get on PEDs. At least I know they're like the cure No, the cure that they gave you isn't even the cure. That's like a band-aid. The cure is actually being outside Yeah, I've been being outside. I'm getting 10,000 steps a day. You're not outside. I was outside all weekend

You have not been out. You're a shut-in six miles a day. You're not outside. I was outside all weekend. You have not been being outside. You're a shut-in. Six miles a day. You're finding Forester. I don't even know how that's possible. I mean, especially when I did the test, I was ripping steps all week and then I went fishing the week before. You need to sun your asshole. I know. You also wear a... It's impossible to die. Being low D. Being low D at the end of the summer is insane. That's tough. Yeah, that's so bad. It's crazy. Because I thought you were an outdoorsman. I've been outside. You act like you're an outdoorsman. Yeah, but where you fish, it's always shaded. It's always wooded. When he wears a balaclava. Yep.

I do wear a balaclava, but you dress like an antifa Yeah, I don't know. I don't really don't know but hopefully this medicine hopefully this these natural supplements will cure me I mean taking vitamins also could be it just a beneficial thing for you. Even just a Flintstone vitamin Yeah, probably do wonders for your for your entire life. I fucking loved those vitamin would probably do wonders for your entire life. I fucking loved those. I've been hammering, I mean, I hammer the fiber gummies. You think Flintstone vitamins are almost as big as Flintstone's the TV show?

Bigger. You think so? One handshakes the other. Bigger. Like I think that the vitamin. Jesus fucking Christ. She's bigger than I ever imagined. You have no idea how big Flintstone vitamins are.

I can't, I truly can't fathom it. I have to go to the bathroom. Alright, we're done. Yeah, let's end this. Okay, sorry. Alright, thank you guys for listening to this episode. We will see you on Thursday. I'm going to be in Columbus, Indy, and Urbana this weekend. Thank you.

Goodbye. I was only falling one way I was falling one way I was falling one way I was falling one way I was falling one way To you, came a ride I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting For, for was I

So, so then you listen Now, I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way See it just a distant light Being fast forever bright

Calling just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm Oh Oh Oh Oh I'm gonna be all right When I'm all right When I'm all right When I'm all right When I'm all right

When I'm all right When I'm all right When I'm all right When I'm all right When I'm all right Man is to your right Man is to your right Did you realize Did you realize Finished to your life

Did you realize No one could take me alive