Son of a Boy Dad - Travis Swift | Son of a Boy Dad #135

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Travis Swift | Son of a Boy Dad #135 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. You guys just clap. All righty, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today it is monday september 25th son of a boy dad the new biggest brand at barstool the world's largest podcast we are going nuclear right now the numbers are breaking through every graph and chart that is ahead of us. The plan is falling

perfectly right now. These fucking suckers will be eating out of the palm of our hands when SAS is ready to renegotiate in 2032. We're on the long back when my negotiation comes up. SAS will be in his early 40s. My age.

We'll be getting this shit yeah yeah dude we're doing probably three episodes a week by then oh yeah so we're doing two episodes a week i don't know if we made that very clear yeah the last we did the live one if you guys missed it there was a live episode that we did on youtube that then will go to podcasts like spotify and apple what does it go the same day yeah or it will in the future in the future it'll go out wednesday night getting it out we're figuring out you know we get it out on thursday for right now but more more son of a boy yes and that will be with francis and that we did we were recording that it's that'll be live on the Son of a Boy at YouTube at 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

People are like, oh, it's nice to see Ronan Sass. I remember Ronan Sass. Yeah. It's like, dude, we're doing shit every fucking day. I feel like I'm working way more now than I was when I was on the app. People are like, I remember you. Like, what is it? Fucking Sasquatch?

Bunch of fool asses is what it is. Damn, I thought you were about to add the third word. Now. The fool ass fellas. Yeah, so that's that. We're here. We're back in this bitch Monday episode. It's been a while since we haven't had a guest on a Monday.

Now, I mean, it's hard to not have guests because we just have too many people just knocking at the door trying to fucking be on the show i know i have to create excuses biggest podcast in the company you all get your shot in due time but i have to like fucking lie to people tell them that i'm busy double booked like howie mandel's coming on that ryan seacrest is coming on or something you know it's it's a high demand situation that we're in right now but i feel like i haven't got to just talk to you bro i feel like i haven't been able to just chop it up just me and you i don't i don't even know what you've been doing man what your hobbies are what you've been getting into with your life just a lot dude i am fucking hanging on by a thread right now i am a shell of a man i met like that i'm at

that tire where it's just you're just numb the brain feels you're like a parent fucking yeah sound machine going on inside of it you have no fresh thoughts now i'm fucking wiped and i think it's also because i went to the gym this morning which really set me back yeah that'll get your that'll wring your brain out how How was it getting back on the, on the sticks? Bad. It was rough. I was saying this before,

but I, I did, didn't warm up enough. Went in, decided to do some deadlifts. I had like, I had a whole plan. I have like a workout plan

that I'm doing for the next two weeks. What'd you see it on TikTok? No, no, God, no. I got my sources. Weightlifting.com,

bodybuilding.com. All Reddit, brother. Now this one actuallycom all reddit brother now this one actually uh i found this on this is literally just like a eight day plan for this is under r slash bodybuilding what the hell website is this oh muscle and strength oh yeah that's a good combo but i've found a lot of workouts on there in the past but now i kind of like know what to do but i uh i'm just doing this for like eight days to just kind of get the wipe the rust off you know but i kept on looking at

him like i don't think it's really rust at this point i think it's just i don't have like it's not like i'm like oh i'm a little rusty i haven't started from scratch i haven't worked out in fucking years you're not knock knocking the rust off of the statue you have like a block of brick that you're trying to get exactly yeah but it's the opposite yeah and everyone's like well this look the muscle will come back way faster this time and i'm like i don't know if that's how that this is gonna work it's not coming back there's nothing to come back from it's and it's an idea right now you're in the brainstorming phase of growing muscle so we'll see how long it lasts i um hopefully a while you know it's just like i now. You're in the brainstorming phase of growing muscle. So we'll see how long it lasts.

Hopefully a while. You know, it's just like I've seen a lot of pictures of myself that I haven't been happy about. And you can only really blame the angles and the lighting so many times until you're like, oh, that's just me. They've taken every angle of you. Yeah, exactly. Above, below, left, right. For a while, I was like, ah, my face is just fat. It's from drinking.

I'm just getting fat in the face. And then time passes and you're like, oh, shit, my body is really fat, too. It's all coming around full circle. But that's also a trick that the summer plays on you because you're wearing these thin-ass T-shirts and shit like that. Oh, yeah, I saw the opportunity to wear the black jacket today. And you look slim right now. I'm sure I do. Well, that's because I fucking hit the gym this morning.

And it was an abusive weightlifting session. Usually when- Screaming. Who was screaming? Begging for mercy. I felt bad. I thought they were going to kick me out. Because you were going so hard?

Yeah. I was breaking the weights. Screaming with two 50s is hilarious. Yeah. The 30-pound dumbbells. Going to failure with 30-pound dumbbell presses. Yeah. No going to failure today. It was kind of like going to failure with 30 pound dumbbell presses yeah no going to failure today it was kind

of like going to failure though i mean so what i was saying earlier was i went and i uh didn't warm up enough at all when i did deadlifts 135 that's kind of a lot it's not a lot i used to be able to deadlift 225 because you're a fucking hoss how's the form though that's where that's what the form is great so i did the oct thing. The thing that you stand inside of. Oh yeah. And cause that one, that's the only one that I've ever been able to do where I know I have good form cause I can feel it where I'm supposed to feel it instead of just doing

it with the straight barbell. And you're like, yeah, this is definitely, I don't think I'm supposed to be feeling this in my lower back as much as you're a candy cane. You literally like hook over. Yeah.

So I was like, I'm not going to do that. So I just did the octagon one and it felt good i mean i went and did 135 did 10 reps by like the 10th rep i was like pretty gassed and i was like all right this feels good put the thing down i walk off the platform and just every single muscle below my waist just locks just locked in cramps everywhere dude literally like every single part of my body like my toes are cramping it was crazy your body probably thought you were dying my body went into shock it's like when you like swim to shore after like a boat after a boat

accident or something like that and your body just completely locks up. It was, I thought I was going to go down. We can give oxygen to your brain or to your legs right now. So I had to stretch more and then I went back and it got better. That's how Dion

almost lost a foot. I know, dude. That's how Coach Prime almost lost a foot. I wanted to call Prime and be like, what do you think I should do? What should I do right now?

Yeah, what are you running Hunter on right now? Coach, you look him up at the bar school directory. Get me on Travis Hunter's injury program. Yeah. yeah a hyperbaric chamber get the fucking boots on yeah those big ass boots those things look insane pat bev has his daughter in the boots right now his daughter tore her acl and he just like posted an instagram of her and like two two of the boots yeah why do you have two boots if she tore one of the ACLs?

Do those things actually do anything? I have no idea what they do. I got one once at the stretching place I go to. They're like, you can like hang out upside down and get like boots on if you come 15 minutes early.

So I think they just squeeze you. I wanted to use, I would expect the gym that I go to, since it's so goddamn expensive, I thought it was gonna have like a theragun so i was gonna try and find a theragun and just kind of blow up my hamstrings get them nice and fresh a theragun can it can make you feel higher than some drugs exactly a theragun and a foam roller can make you feel like i ended up foam rolling but i i don't like foam rolling

you look like that's a workout that's a workout in itself. Dude. You look like a circus freak. Trying to hold your body up. Yeah. Like teetering on a fucking thing while trying to find a way to roll yourself back and forth. You can't do that shit in public. No. It looks insane. You have to do it in the privacy of your own home.

Yeah. And then, of course, I go up to stretch after my workout. I did some abs because I'm really just trying to narrow down. You know what I mean? Doing abs. Doing abs at this point is just like, what the the fuck am i yourself you're tricking yourself it has nothing to do with your abdominal muscles like you're uh you're gonna get a bicep through your abs and there's five inches of fat over the abs i don't think you need to be hitting abs i need to do abs on like the front of my abs the side of my abs the

back of my abs dude it's terrible i was cracking up while doing the i was doing i did crunches and leg raises and i was like this is just fucking useless dude there's no reason for me everybody does it on their first day back though like okay i'm gonna have a fucking six pack it's impossible to get a six pack it is i'll never get a six pack i just want to slim back down but. But I don't even know if that's abs. That's like just walking on a treadmill or something like that. You know, man, they say abs are made in the kitchen. That's right. You need to just eat a stalk of broccoli.

I did order a bunch of fucking Project Rock shirts online, though. Hardest worker in the room. Blood, sweat, respect. A lot of that gear. I've been ordering Mark Wahlberg's gear oh yeah what is that shit called what is it called like detention or something with a v it's like one like sassy word yeah it's like one like fucking dumbass praise up bless up bless up pray up what does he say pray pray up prayers up municipal. Some stupid ass fucking word.

I gotta get that shit. Today I went in and I had my old guy fit on. Fucking Patriot sweatshirt and sweatpants. That's pretty good. Yeah, I'm just trying to sweat it all out. That's what I need. That'll help me lose 20 pounds. Just sweat it all out.

Going in with the hoodie on? Yeah. You guys don't have any chance having raw eggs that i can swish around and chug do you have like a one massive gallon that i could carry my water in over your headphones over the hoodie yeah over the hood yeah shake up the creatine in the shit so everybody sees my skinny ass yeah protein shakes are making me so much fatter oh dude yeah you got to be careful with those things especially like the 42 ounce ones they're like or the 42 grams of protein rather they the ones that taste good are fucking so delicious that

there's no chance that they could be building any muscle for me or making me any more healthy i mean they say the best thing to do is just to have food like food is like strawberry protein from chicken is always going to be better for you than protein from a protein shake but protein shakes are pretty it's a supplement so it's you're just like adding it on when you can't reach your protein goals for the day um i don't really have a protein goal right now though i'm trying to eat healthy and you're supposed to be what 3x your body weight yeah i like to get in at around anywhere from 500 to a thousand grams of protein a day i'm on like a 450 in the morning 450 midday so i'll wind up at just shy of like you know 13 1300 grams of protein a day but that's me my beau my friend i was uh he's trying to get like big

right now and he he asked me for advice which i'm like dude you're asking the wrong guy at this point but you do like i'm like if you're trying to get big drink 30 beers every day and then you'll get big that's what if you're looking to get big like me eat only candy and then drink 20 beers a night have fried food while your body's in a state of stress and then sleep for three hours a day and fly every single weekend panic eat like pay attention to something else while you're eating yeah i feel like that's one of the best ways to get fat is like you're like looking at a video while you're just shoving food into your mouth and you have no idea how much you ate eating while driving i'll go to the

i'll go to like the gas station get snacks and then you're just tearing through the snacks the whole way i'll finish my fast food before i've left the park oh yeah i'll just inhale it before i've left the rest stop so you're like now i feel good now i feel ready to go yeah just sitting as the calories take worst i ever had it was on the way i drove back to massachusetts this was like two years ago i just moved apartments in the city and I used my mom's car and I had to drive it back to take an Amtrak back. And I got Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets. Oh, yeah. Dude, fire shooting out of my asshole within 30 minutes.

Really? Like had to pull over and shit. I feel like that's a product of a bad Wendy's deep fryer and not the product, not the fresh never frozen product that Wendy's is. Not the delicious fresh never frozen product that Wendy's is fryer and not the product, not the fresh, never frozen product that went, not the delicious, fresh, never frozen product that Wendy's is slinging because there is no way that those nuggets are going to do that to you independently. Dude,

it was healthy white meat chicken. They're spicy and it was hot coming out. Yeah. Like lava. No, that's the burning before that you ate. That was the, that's what you always say.

I don't know if I believe it. I kind of do, but I don't, I don't know if i believe it i kind of do but i don't i don't know because sometimes you can eat something and like you'll throw it up three days later like your body just wouldn't digest it i've had some i don't want to get into details but i've had some shits where it you know it's coming out anyway in full like a full cheeseburger comes out of my ass like three sticky chicken fingers come out still coated in like sweet honey garlic it's literally what it is it just comes out better looking than when it went in there's a couple foods that i can list off that come out in full

and i think it's like my body just doesn't process like a french magician like a mime who like puts it in and like pulls it out And it's all nuts and seeds. Sunflower seeds comes out in full. And that's probably your body telling you, hey, knock it off. Knock it off. Peanuts, almonds, full. You're putting leaded gas into a car that needs leaded gas. I should probably

just go to the doctor and figure out what's wrong with my stomach. That would probably save me a lot of problems. Yeah, I wrote down the name of the test that you were supposed

to take the other day and I feel like I got... The genetic methylation test? Yeah, what does that do? Tells you if you have like a gluten intolerance or something? I think it tells you everything.

Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely... I know I have a gluten intolerance or something. I think it tells you everything. Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely, I know I have a gluten intolerance and I know I probably, cheese probably too. Cheese doesn't really get me bad. It's always just gluten, like bread.

I had a Philly cheesesteak with like double cheese on Monday when we were down with Pat Bev and for three straight days, it was, it was sick.

Oh, I can't eat that shit anymore and i don't know if it was bread or the cheese it's got to be the it's just it's the oil it's yeah it's everything it's and now when i go on the road i'll get like like when i was in arlington i just got this fucking flatbread pizza and i would have like two slices of it because i'm like that's it's pretty simple it's just cheese bread honestly just fast for the weekend. Yeah. I can't eat the fucking buffalo bites and the fucking Philly cheesesteaks and the cheeseburgers.

I mean, those are things that blow me up. Yeah. I mean, it's like the worst stomach problems. At least you're on a fast track towards getting healthy. Son of a Boy Dad is sponsored by BetterHelp. Do you ever find that just as you're trying to fall asleep, your brain suddenly won't stop talking? Do your thoughts start racing right before bed or at other inopportune moments?

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Get a break from your thoughts with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash sun today to get 10% off your first month. dot com slash son today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash son and get better help in your life today. You've been ripping the hello fresh. I've been eating healthy. I've been eating a lot of like meal kit things and,

uh, you know, I'm eating veggies for the first time in fucking forever. Veggies will make you glow from the inside. Today, I had broccoli. I had broccoli this morning. And that's honestly, that's how you're going to get your little six pack. Oh, exactly.

That's how you're going to get your cute little vacuum sealed out. Made in the fucking kitchen. Yeah. I got it. I just got to get down to it. Oh, yeah. We're going back to the roots on this episode. It's becoming a fitness podcast again.

We are. We're back in this bitch. That's how it started. The podcast started as a fitness show. It's what we care about. Yeah. I had to take a couple weeks off anyway. we're back in that's how it started the podcast started as a fitness show it's what we care about yeah i had to take a couple weeks off anyway i'm back in that bitch you had to take a couple weeks off or just i was deadlift to a terrible form yeah get the mind right no i just feel that been there i popped a tire been there i popped a love handle don't forget to hit mobility training brother you know i hit that every morning yeah 10 minutes cossack squats 10 minutes bro goggins is up to an hour a day

of just pure stretching. I did the, it's fun to do while you're watching football. That's when I was like foam rolling. Or not fun to do, but it's like. Yeah, that sounds awful.

That can't be fun to do while watching football. It takes me back to when I was living in football or when I was living in Old City, I would watch football. Takes me fucking back to Old City. State.

I was living with. We are. You fucking fucking know we should get hackenberg on uh i was living in old city with my boy jj who was a marine and i would like stretch and like and probably annoyed the fuck out of him i'd be like laying on the floor like stretching my hamstring yeah and he was he's sick but he was like a boxer and and he talks like Rocky. He has this sick accent. And I started stretching my hamstrings in front of the TV, and he was like, not there, football kid. Come on, kid. Not there, football kid. That's hilarious.

And I think about it any time I'm stretching in front of an event. It must have annoyed the fuck out of him. It must have been infuriating. Did you watch all the football yesterday? Oh, of course. You watch every game? I mean, I have've read zone on so i'm flipping around so when you said you have red zone because i have red zone too that's just they just show the red zone highlights yeah but no what do you know you probably have nfl network i have red zone on nfl network no you do have you have like something on the right hand side you don't have scott hansen

giving you whip around coverage to all 11 games in the early no i do you do i do have that it's like 30 a year is it yeah it's not bad so so i feel like we're not talking about the same thing i don't think we are either that's because that's what you because i asked you yesterday how you watch football because i have youtube tv i have fub, I pay for YouTube TV. I use my mom's Fubo. Because that shit is fucking... What the hell? Why is it so expensive? All of it is.

It's like I'm paying like $1,000 a month to watch the Bills and the Patriots. Stream them off. Nah, I don't fuck with that shit. I want to watch it on my TV. I don't want to have to go on Streamies. But you could go on Streamies and then screen mirror it. Come again? Screen mirror it. screen mirror it come again screen mirror it screen mirror it you gotta sound like you had a stroke screen mirror you go on a tv and scream

i uh i got the plug pulled out of me but even like sunday ticket on youtube tv that shit's like 500 or 300 400 a month a year like how does that have all the games because i've been promised that all of these have all the games and then they don't what i need to get what you need to get i looked up you got to get a vpn where i have the nfl app the nfl i pay i have the nfl app too do you have nfl like the plus app i have the n i pay what is that like 10 bucks a month it's like yeah dude there's still games you can't watch like how come last night i couldn't watch the chiefs game how come it was on youtube tv halftime chiefs games off and now i'm watching the cowboys that's because it's a blow-up if it's like you said so if it's a blow-up they just turn

the game off they'll go to the more exciting game but that game sucked they both sucked i'd rather watch the chiefs win 41 to 10 then watch the Cowboys lose and destroy all of my bets. Yeah, but they don't know that you've got like Jarek McKinnon in a fucking parlay or some stupid shit. They're not paying attention to that. They want to have an exciting game for the viewer because they're probably losing people left and right. But they had Taylor Swift was at the game.

Don't you think that game was probably being, that was probably the highest live streamed game in regular season ever. I didn't care about that at the time but the more i uh like paid attention to my phone the more it annoyed me that i was just gonna have to hear about it from so many people like there's even an opinion to have well it's all the the barstool is the king of making that as lame as possible with just their dumb ass tweets being like bro you know shrabis kelsey's about to get some tonight and it's like i want

to know who is tweeting this from the barstool accounts because i read them and i like i want to block the account it enrages me because i know everyone that works here i know no one here talks like that no one here is in conversation like yeah like seeing taylor travis taylor swift on the screen being like yo do you think she's going to suck off Travis Kelsey tonight? Like, no one is having conversations like that. I hope he scores so they both can. It's crazy. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Was that what they said? I don't even know. Someone knows on the barstool main page. Someone tweeted and it was like Travis Kelsey scoring on and off the field tonight. It was like, are we all fucking six years old or like score saying yeah dude he's the best nfl player in america he's probably getting pussy tonight even if taylor swift wasn't there i'd assume he's fucking someone tonight and he might have already

might have fucked taylor swift and then someone else the same night he might have fucked on the way to the game he probably fucked in the locker room yeah mile sanders used to do that he would like to get some head on the way to the game or something like that and he fucking gave me like 30 points on fantasy exactly yeah so you know he's scoring on and off the field it's such a weird i don't know that shit enrages me but i know what they're doing i know they're just doing it to get clicks and it works do you think that they're they're not being bad on purpose to get clicks oh i think they're coming up with like generic captions to get clicks i think that they're just like what should we put for this like what should we put for this yeah cranking something out yeah but i don't know if there's like a group chat of them like i don't know i'd love to be in the group

chat and maybe just be like no let's skip that one because that we have like seven editors in chief for the blog yeah and no one edits the captions that go up on everything, which is I think a far greater representation of how people perceive Barstool. It's all captions, but I think the captions on the blog make sense because you need a good caption for them to click on it.

Doing a caption like that, all the horny fans on the blog would click on that and be like, who's Travis Kelsey fucking tonight? I got to figure that out. But on Twitter, it's like we've all seen the video. Just make it like, just make it like Taylor Swift's at the game for Travis Kelsey. How crazy is that?

Yeah, that sounds like a gem. Yeah. It delivers the news. But people, everybody wants to editorialize. Literally on the Barstool account, we saw there was at least four different people that like had the same editorial style. Literally, on the Barstool account, there was at least four different people that had the same editorial style. Oh, yeah. Because every company meeting, shout out to Jack Mack. He's been doing it.

It's definitely Jack Mack. But now we're at a point. Which is even funnier. Because we all know Jack Mack, and that's not how he talks. Unless he's just a genius with social media. Maybe I'm in the wrong. But I think that, but there's 10 different people that, because we go to every company meeting,

they're like, say what you will about Jack Mack. They like, they low-key like neg him. They're like, even Jack Mack can do this. And then more people have been doing that exact type of video. So I think we saw Kelly Keegs with the video and then Rico with the video, Ray with the video. Like everybody had their reaction to it yeah it's just everybody trying to capitalize

yeah they write in the blog i mean yeah it's big news big shit i don't know but it is the captions really just get me going people yeah is it i just don't even know if it is that big of news just famous people fucking and i don't even know if it is that big of news. Just famous people fucking. And I don't know. And then like people are like mad. They're like, well, now the Swifties are going to watch football. It's like, who gives the slightest fuck about that? Or like you're like, when you're watching football, are you like, I hope there's no fucking chicks watching this.

The most, the biggest streamed thing in the world. There better not be any fucking girls watching this right now gonna fucking ruin the vibe we're gonna have to buckle our pants up and stop drinking beers i want to find some of the captions also some of the the girls who are pissed off at uh taylor swift being like why would she date him why is she fucking him like they they think that taylor swift's vagina is their vagina oh yeah it probably yeah they think it's their the exact you're gonna say it probably is it probably is actually theirs they do probably own that i mean it was like all of these tweets have like a hundred thousand likes so i guess they're doing a good job but yeah this one travis kelsey is scoring

on and off the field tonight and it's literally just a video of them leaving the game together i mean they probably did have sex that night but maybe i just don't know if that's uh i'm not that excited about i don't get like excited about strangers having sex or anyone having sex. Or anyone having sex, to be honest. Just dapping your boys up? It is like a, yeah, but it's like a, that's like a high school,

am I wrong? No, you're 100% right. To be like, bro's gonna get some! Yo! This dick's gonna be so wet. Damn.

Yo, Kelsey, make sure you wrap it up tonight though last thing we need is a little swift running around seriously you're gonna ruin next summer's tour if you fucking come in here don't you dare do that oh yeah we tweeted they tweeted a lot about kelsey it's i think that you they have like a spider sense of like what is a big social media moment well yeah i mean it's why they have fucking a kajillion followers but uh kelly keeg's video actually did make me laugh of course and i don't know if that was the intention but i thought it was hilarious she was like i guess he has fucking incredible dick what did she say that video was crazy yeah, his dick game must be just fucking incredible.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talking about the mom. What did she say? She said something about the mom. She's next to fucking Donna Kelsey. Yeah. I mean, his dick must be fucking huge if she's sitting next to the mom. Like, he must have fucked the shit out of her. Multiple orgasms.

Just, like, resigned to the fact. Yeah. It's also, there's probably a good chance that it's just, like, they went on one date and they were like, this is going to be hilarious if you come to the fact yeah it's also there's probably a good chance that it's just like they went on one date and they were like this is going to be hilarious if you come to the game people are going to go nuts over this also uh pro athletes bringing people to the game is not like exactly a new thing an indication that they're dating he probably also had like three other women in the stadium that he's also currently fucking he probably had like the fucking wives and girlfriends one in

the donna kelsey box like did you see that guy that video that that dude made where he was like imitating travis kelsey talking to like his side girl yeah and he's like i can't have you wilding out in the box baby it's so funny that is incredible but it's like it's like verbatim how he sounds i gotta find that that's hilarious oh yeah here it is if it loads it'll look don't worry this is made by oh that's juice go into the mic. It's directional. I got you box seats. You know I fuck with you so heavy.

Just tell my family that you like my friend or whatever. I can't have you wilding out in the box seats. You know you can have your own little sex shit in my bed. All that. Stop. That is Travis Kelsey, though. I can't have you wiling out in the box.

You play too much. Yo. And it's crazier when you hear how his brother talks. How his brother talks. Tough like lumberjack. Yeah, he's a man's man they went to the same high school but you could tell who was hanging out you know who's invited to the cookout you and

travis kelsey probably would have been really good friends oh totally he would have like been beating the table for my freestyles and shit like that he would have had a sick beat with the pen you guys would have been texting at night been like bro you're next up no you're next up it would have been like uh wilding out we've been like in the classroom his name is travis yeah yeah but good day good sunday good good board great slate great slate except the cow Cowboys did almost bankrupt me. I had everything. Like every single leg of my parlay is hit except for the Cowboys winning. That's chalk, bro.

You can't go chalk. No. That's why you got to tap into pick central. But I did. I came back hard last night. Five-leg parlay hit. No big deal. I'm in this gambling competition i went uh i did eight parlays yesterday seven and oh and one of them is going into today

all all parlays how many how many legs though two legs each oh bro come on now is that even seven and oh you even consider that a parlay are That's historic. I'm looking for more of like a 26 leg. They're going to write a fucking newspaper article about me. Travis Kelsey to run over 100.5 yards. Just something that will never happen. Just him rushing, baby, you know I had to break out and do that. What a fucking dog he is. What a legend.

So let's rewind it about 20 minutes to that bow story that you're about to you're about to start telling me i don't remember bow bow wants to get jacked he was starting to text you oh yeah he calls me and he sends me pictures of his food and it's like the biggest portion i've ever seen night is reply and i'm like double that it's not gonna cut it and then he genuinely is like fuck and he starts cooking more so he's probably gonna get fat you're as i'm misguiding him heavily they did he's putting down like 6 000 calories a day yeah they did that in the movie mean girls when they were trying to get the girl intentionally fat oh really yeah they just you never watched mean girls now you didn't even do it once we

got the podcast mean girls no i thought that was the beginning of it. That was my introduction. That is canonically the correct way that Mean Girls actually started. It's the prequel to the movie. Exactly. That's Alex Bennett's daughter. I wonder how they're, are they doing good? I don't know.

They definitely like planned this exit months ago. Oh yeah, 100%. This was definitely intentional. I heard they were going to Apple Podcasts they were going to iTunes I heard that I did hear some shit like that some crazy shit like that but yeah so pretty much I'm spending

like $1000 a month on subscriptions that all get the same games you just have to do that. Are we going to be able to watch tonight? I know the game's in Tampa. Yeah, no. You never know.

We wouldn't be able to watch in my apartment. We'd have to watch on my fucking phone. I'm trying to get this free... iSpeed, whatever his name is, Twitch stream reacting to it. It'll be like the screen flip with all the color distortion messed with. During good fights during like good

pay-per-views you scroll TikTok lives and like every one of them is like an upside down backwards diagonal version of the fight

or some shit like that that's what I'm gonna have to do and I don't know how pay-per-views even work at that point I don't know they're cracking down

on them pretty good I don't think they are every single like anytime that there's any good pay-per-view it even work at that point. I don't know. They're cracking down on them pretty good. I don't think they are. Every single, like, anytime that there's any good pay-per-view, it's always available to watch somewhere very easily. I thought I read somewhere that StreamEase was getting shut down,

but then it didn't. No. I don't know how that shit is, how that shit's legal. You can't shut them down because it's like, they go to like.com, then.org.

now they're on like.io right now. Yeah. StreamEase has always worked. I use it since like college. Yeah, it does work well. Yeah. Good as hell. Mook uses that strictly.

My boy Spud has a Argentinian cable hookup for $8 a month and you get every channel in the entire world. Yeah, that's how you should do it. That's how it should be. Yeah. I'm going to get a VPN and then I'm just going to cancel all my subscriptions and just keep YouTube TV. His sister was describing it to me. She was like, they got a satellite off the coast of Portugal. I was like, dude, that is not how satellites work.

They had it shipped in. It can't be off the coast of somewhere. Satellites are in outer space. It's not an offshore satellite. That is not a satellite. I love to imagine like five like Somalian pirates like fucking barreling through waves, carrying his satellite. Just like a cable attached to the mainland.

Yeah. Just like trying to not have it wet. Bugging the fuck out. That's hilarious. There needs to be a simpler way. Or we need to find a way to circumvent the system. Because like Bob Iger and Disney are making $48 billion a quarter off this shit. They're making so much fucking money.

Those are the most evil people. The people coming up with the fucking Moana movies and the movies about feelings. What's the new one? It's about weather or something like that or the elements. There's a Pixar movie or something that's about the elements. I've never seen that. Sounds fucking good though.

Is it? Sounds like a banger. Elemental and it's like the each element's an allegory for a different race. Sounds fascinating. And they said the fire is the black people. Really? Yeah. Damn. What were the white people? They're like, oh, of course we want fire

in our neighborhood. I'd let some fire in my house with me right now. What was the whites? Probably, what's the opposite of fire? I don't know. Ice? Ice? Snow? i don't know ice ice snow i don't know i uh i gotta watch it i haven't watched it yet it's hard to keep up if you don't have children yeah definitely but you're tired like a parent dude you're tired like somebody who has children i know i gotta go to

vegas on thursday jesus christ and portland the next week and then chicago the next week vegas might fucking suck dude yeah i think i'm gonna bring my bring my rod out there bring my wand the fuck are you gonna go and wet a line the hoover dam notoriously in the desert they got great fishing out in the hoover like they got good fishing out there i looked it up going to like a t.s everywhere you look up they're like best fishing in the world it's all the same colorado i don't think it's that good of fishing because it's so overly fished there no colorado is definitely great fishing there's like better it's better than nevada when i was fishing in colorado i thought that it was going to be like we were going to throw a line in and fish were going to be like fighting to see who could take

the bait and then you find out there's like four fish in this like 20 mile long river. And the other ones are like hiding. They're all hiding. Ripping the bait out of the other one's mouth. It's crazy how hard it is, dude. Fly fishing is insane. Like dude, spin rod fishing, you just take bait and you just huck it five miles out into the water. And then you just sit in a chair and wait for something to take it. when we're fishing it's like my buddy's like we gotta walk really quiet because if they see our shadows they'll all run away and i'm like this feels like it's too much dude i just want to sit and catch fish you have to like sneak up we're

literally like on our hands and knees like crawling through thorn bushes so that we don't spook the trout. It's insane. And then all of that work to catch a trout that's this big. You're covered in poison ivy in the picture holding it up. Yeah. Sores all over your body. At least you didn't scare the fish that you're about to kill. I know. Oh, yeah.

At least it didn't die scared. Yeah. You got to go to Vegas and just go to like the lazy river at a chain smoker show. Yeah, exactly, dude. I wanna go fishing in like a stocked pool. They probably have that. Yeah.

They probably have a shooting range where you can literally shoot fish in a barrel in Vegas. There's gotta be like rich Saudis coming in like they wanna catch

their own fucking fish. There has to be. I just wanna catch a fucking, I wanna catch a whale. I wanna catch a big ass rainbow trout. You gotta go to some rich person's koi pond i know get a fit a nice 50 pound koi i ordered flies i'm gonna try and go upstate upstate nevada no new york uh yeah at some point oh that's probably sick especially apparently upstate i mean that's what they said

but like i said everywhere you look up upstate nevada upstate new york some of the best fishing in the world colorado iceland some of the they fishing in the world. Colorado, Iceland, some of the... They don't even have fish in Iceland. I was there. No fish. It's tinned fish. It's not a single fish in Iceland. I think there's fishing everywhere.

And if you're a good fisherman, you'll be able to find the good fish. And if you're a basic fisherman like me or you, maybe. I hate to call you a basic fisherman. No, I mean, I am. With fly fishing, I 100% am. It's so maybe? Yeah. I hate to call you a basic fisherman. No, I mean, I am. With fly fishing, I 100% am. It's so hard. Yeah. I'm lower than a basic fisherman, but it's probably just tougher if you don't know-

Where to go. Yeah, if you don't know excellent spots and you're not great at it. Yeah. It's not your top hobby. But it's like, it feels like it shouldn't be that hard, but it is. I guess it's also, when we went in iceland it was like oh this is the beginning of the season so it's like very there's not a lot of fish out right now but it can't be that hard if it's like the one of the oldest professions that was heartbreak that

was just devastating just getting into iceland me and my me and bo are just standing there with our rods and the fucking the the customs guy is like little early early, huh? You're just like, ugh. No, no, I don't think so. I think it should be good. They said the season starts like a month ago. And then you just get out there and you're like, he was right. There's not a single fucking fish here. And then we go out to Colorado.

Little late, huh? Hopper season's pretty much over. Damn. Yeah. What fucking assholes. I know. Just, I would rather like, the hope of going out to fish is kind of part of it yeah but the hope goes away after like two hours like when you're two hours in

and no one's gotten a bite you're like dude it's happening again that's also a little bit on you to not do any of the research well it's not me i'm not the one setting it up it's my friend it's your fucking but he always ends up jack setting it up. It's my friend. It's your fucking jacked-ass friend, Bo. Yeah, but I guess it's because he's actually good at fly fishing. Yeah, he also dedicated a lot more of his life to it. Yeah. Also, he didn't really give a shit in Colorado because he had just gotten back from a three-month fishing trip in Alaska.

He wasn't trying to catch anything. No, he didn't. He was probably spooking the fish on purpose, stomping around. Yeah, yeah. He caught, me and my friend Matt both got one and he caught like 30 in colorado dude i think matt deserves a little bit more publicity than bo i know not then bo has been getting goes mi you don't really hear from him much you gotta call him if you want to talk to him he's a rambling man yeah he does not call you ever if i didn't call him ever again we would never speak again he seems like the guy who would get like caught out

in uh like alaska or something a little into the wildish maybe he'll do it for real sometime though yeah probably he'll never come back he'll just write a little note yeah that would be crazy yeah that would be crazy if your friend just wrote a note and disappeared forever. I mean, one of my friends will do it. Or you. No doubt. Look to your left and look to your right. Or me.

I'm getting close. I'm getting there. This fall, it's just too much, dude. Where are you going to stay in Vegas? I don't know. I would almost rather at this point in Vegas stay at the shittittiest hotel that's just like on a strip mall, not even the strip. We're not on the strip, which is actually kind of nice. Like just being in the strip where you like can't leave.

There's no access to even like you can go to that one CVS if you want to go to a convenience store. That's next to like a 45 foot M&M store or some stupid shit. Yeah, I've never been. I don't know what it's like. Oh, you've never been or some stupid shit. Yeah, I've never been. I don't know what it's like. Oh, you've never been to Vegas at all? No, I've never been to Vegas. Oh, maybe it'll be sweet for you. I mean, you've been fucking a thousand times.

And I'm just not a gambler or a club guy. Except you are a gambler for sure. I like to gamble on sports, but I don't need to go to Vegas to do that. So it's like defeats the purpose of going to slot machines. The idea of going to a casino right now makes me sick to my stomach.

It does give me like pre-chills. Am I allowed to talk about when me and Francis went to the idea of going to a casino right now it makes me sick to my stomach it does give me like pre-chills yeah are we allowed to talk am i allowed to talk about when me and francis went to the casino of course when we did the shows i guess we're not affiliated with that other yeah that other brand anymore racket yeah they stopped sponsoring the pod dude that was the most miserable thing i've ever like that was it's, gambling, like, going to a casino is fun for, like, an hour. And then it gets late. And if you're so drunk that you get there and you don't realize what everybody else around you is doing, it looks like. That's what was hitting me. Because I wasn't that drunk.

Francis was hammered. If you have a hint of empathy in your body, some casinos are dark places. Dude, it was dark. And then Francis told told me like the he gave me like i didn't know a lot about it so that was only the second the first scene i went to was in buffalo and i went with shane and this is the second one i've ever been to and this is like the buffalo one's not a real like this is like a real fucking the whole town is based around one casino and francis was telling me about how like how there's no windows like i didn't stuff i didn't

even notice like oh there's no windows because they don't want people to know how that it's like getting light out again and like they pump oxygen in to keep you awake oh of course this is casino 101 and yeah and francis is fucking killing it on blackjack so they're just filling him up with drinks and he's shit-faced i lost everything on roulette instantly so i'm just sitting at the food court eating by myself and i'm looking around and there's like people like asleep on the kiosk like on the slot machines literally people just like asleep being like i need this to hit before i go home so i can like pay for my fucking kids cancer treatment like it's like the most it's like the darkest shit i've ever seen yeah like i'm more of like uh let's do a 26 leg parlay from the comfort of my

couch put five dollars on it and let's root like hell for everyone every little leg like i joke about like oh like yeah i lost everything on the fucking cowboys i lost like ten dollars you lost everything that was in your account yeah i'll be okay there's other ways that you you chase that uh that high yeah or you just have a healthy relationship with it where you could be like, all right, this is it. You're quick to diagnose when you have an unhealthy behavior going. Yeah. That's why people might be annoyed when you're like, I'm fat as fuck. And you're like, clearly not.

You're not like Brendan Fraser. Just trying to keep it maintained. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but that's dark. And I'm not looking forward to going to a casino again this weekend. But I think that'll be different. But come to the show for sure. It'll be dope. It'll be a good time. Well, it's's dark. And I'm not looking forward to going to a casino again this weekend. But I think that'll be different. But come to the show for sure. It'll be dope.

It'll be a good time. Well, it's not even. It's Skank Fest. It's not my show. Oh, so that'll actually be sweet. Yeah, it'll be fun. So it's just people rolling around. Are you going to any casinos?

I think it's. Are there casinos? I mean, oh, and you would know better than me. It's the same place as last year. Isn't it like in a casino? No, it's in an abandoned mall. It's in an abandoned mall. All right. Well, that'll be much more positive

vibes than uh but is uh it's close like people go to the casinos right yeah everywhere is a casino yeah i'm sure it'll be fun i'm excited excited to talk some comedy with the with the guys out there excited to just really just chop it up just talk about which green rooms are best yeah who's fucking killing right now who's killing it and who's a hack and who sold their soul to do girl bits that guy's doing all girl material now fucking coward really and just really just pretend that you're being productive by having those conversations yeah it's your talk it's like making connections like networking yeah i got a host out there really i gotta host a 4 p.m show jesus christ that's gonna be a night you gotta hope people are up from the night before

yeah i know on the first night which i don't know i'm fine hosting's fine it's just scary especially in vegas and i always bail out of my material so fast yeah because you're not going to get that like instant pop that you would get when you're like the third comic yeah when you have to start right away you kind of just have to talk about what's in the news and who's around yeah yeah i'll probably just make some vegas jokes yeah i'm sure no one has no comic has ever played vegas before i'm sure that'll all be fresh new material doesn't matter. What are you going to talk about?

I'll probably just say some shit about it being a shithole, and they'll go fucking nuts. And then I'll be like, all right. Anyways, so if you guys have ever been to Dick's Sporting Goods, just get right into the hits. There's a... Yeah! Do the Dick's joke!

Wow! Dick joke king, bro. It's not even joke dick joke king bro it's not even a dick joke I know I know just joking bro but there's dudes on the on like the strip in Vegas on like the outdoor part of the strip like Hispanic dudes with like

Yankees jerseys tucked into their jeans that hand out cards of like prostitutes and shit like that oh fuck yeah like playing cards of prostitutes and shit like that. I play in cards of prostitutes. I might get one when I'm out there. Just rough her up a little bit. Go 10 rounds. We gotta cut that

for sure. Absolutely not. It is wild that people do that. Which part? A. Get prostitutes and b then kill them right that's pretty nuts yeah no totally nuts dude and like that's that's got to be a dude who's coming out of the casino and he's just like hot and bothered he's like someone's getting killed tonight right that's why it doesn't make it like you're kind of like you're quieting it down on me if a prostitute makes you pay up front and you're gonna kill them yeah why they might you just take the money back well i'm not killing a prostitute i thought that's what you're saying no no i was

just saying it's crazy that people do that yeah like they just got like i don't know it is dude let's just cut this no no no no i'm with you dude i'm with you it's crazy that people sue me i'm anti-killing prostitutes i guess i'm the bad guy here no i told this story on like one of the first episodes of uh i might just buy a bunch of prostitutes and then send them home like get out of here scram here's some Yeah Here's your fee for the weekend Time's yours ladies Yeah There's a couple comics in there Who I know

They got a bad look in their eye Get out of here Send them out the back door Like refugees There's a truck waiting out back Pile it They'll take you as far as you want to go Just saving them like Guy richie's the covenant

yeah you might have to do that you see that people are like live streaming like prostitute interactions on kick you see that that was nuts the fuck are you talking about they just like got some it was like but the girl wasn't in on it the dude was in on it but they i guess they like told the girl it's like there was like 30 000 people watching just like a prostitute came in and just like fucked a dude on like live what yeah what dude he was streaming and he just ordered a prostitute i guess yeah i don't know i don't know what it was it was very weird i remember early on in dave's unboxing someone sent him a prostitute it was a prostitute in the box no like she was like outside really yeah that's hilarious that's a funny move it's it's just funny that it's like a business

that exists it's is it prostitution is not legal right in nevada it is is it really that's crazy i thought it was illegal everywhere except for like amsterdam Is it really? That's crazy. I thought it was illegal everywhere. Except for like Amsterdam. I think Nevada it is. That's nuts. In Nevada there is like.

I'm going to clean up those streets when I'm out there. Yeah, you run for mayor. I'm going to get them all hired as interns at Barstool. Ladies, come this way. The Barstool Save a Prostitute program. You just round them up like the Pied Piperiper you sit them down and teach them about OnlyFans I'm gonna save these ladies Glennie just teaching a class like a college professor

that would be a good idea you think Glennie is like a if you're a prostitute is Glennie Balls your white whale you're like this guy could change it's like when Dave walks into a pizza shop if you see this man call the manager call the pimp instantly Glenny Balls, your white whale. You're like, this guy could change. It's like when Dave walks into a pizza shop. Yeah. If you see this man, call the manager.

Call the pimp instantly. This is my way out of here. Glenny Balls. Damn. It really must be. He's a kingmaker. Yeah. He can change lives.

He can absolutely change. him walking it is crazy him having like his like the only fans pizza fest oh yeah of just like 200 to get in he walks out on stage like andrew schultz it's like smoke shooting everywhere fireworks going off. Glennie bowing from his waist. 10,000 OnlyFans girls just. He's like great Cardone. He rips off like a one piece track suit. Fully naked. Holy shit. Oh, I would kill to see Glennie come out like out like that popping out of the stage like michael jackson the only fans festival who's like the top dog and the only it's like i guess it's like

glennie and adam 22 or like button heads right we did the only pageant yeah and but like top like man dog no they're there they had a handler come in who had like five of them under his his thumb he would and he's got to be super powerful and he's got to be making a ton of money off of these women but he still he tucked his his ears into his hat yeah which you know so he's still a little off yeah yeah money can't buy social awareness exactly that's what i'm talking about dude ears tucked into the hat is a psycho it is and a surprising amount of people do it and i can't imagine you think they just don't notice or they hate their ears and they're like no i'm just like pulling it into a ponytail that's crazy i'm just tucking them over my shoulder like a continental i hate my ears i just got them chopped

off this will look way more normal it would look normal if you just tattooed your whole body and like yeah just chopped your ears off and you're like, no, I'm a leopard person. Yeah, true. Have you seen those people? Oh, yeah. Tattoo their eyeballs and fork their tongue? Yeah. They're all in the Guinness Book of World Records for something.

That looks more normal than having weird ass ears. That shit horrifies me. Yeah. I remember that. I would always see people like that. They'd always be working at a grocery store. Bod mods. The dudes with the big ass earrings.

What are those things called? Yeah, gauges people hoping for like a tlc show to come along and normalize their life yeah gauges were always one that i'd like look at my mom when i was six and i'd be like what's wrong with that guy why is that guy big ass holes in his ears he didn't have a mummy to love that's definitely what it is yeah just extreme rebellion you gotta love your kid a little bit or you love them too much or people just yeah or maybe you love them too much yeah they just say fucking i'm getting gauges you ever see the videos of people walking out with people with gauges and throwing a lock on oh no that's crazy yeah they'll just toss a lock on run away with the key. Oh my God.

Someone has a bit about how bike locks are just legal. Yeah. Who has some, I forget who has that. And though you can just lock up anything you want with just a big ass bike lock. Bike locks are fucking. You can just lock. Yeah. Just locking someone's ear to a fucking telephone pole.

That's crazy. Or just the lock around the lip and you can't you like you can't get that off you have to get a sawed off no that is nuts that's why i'm not getting a gauge that's why i've stayed away from gauges personally they got nose ones too yeah oh dude people will have them just like in the side of their face yeah you can just get the gauge anywhere you want you can just get one in your chest i think and just be like the cows like the cows that's what they have they pretty much just have big ass gauges in the side of their bodies they're like those uh the doors of the soda containers that frank the tank was talking about they just have that in their body all right guys let's take a second and talk about

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That was funny. No way. Cut that. Cut that. Cut that. No, Rowan, you can't say that. No, I just, I seriously can't believe that people are. You can't say that about the fire people.

Oh, man. no i just i seriously can't say that about the fire people oh man it was a nice weekend hanging out with my boy spud though yeah how was the pizza fest i forgot you went to that it was awesome it was it would have been very cool if it wasn't fucking pouring sideways rain like vietnam it looks like a success though i mean for dave portnoy and dp everyone that hates the fucking liars at the washington post jesus christ those fucking scumbags from new york times those pieces of shit over there fucking food critic bastards if i could just lock me in her room with those guys for five minutes see what fucking happens i beat the fuck out of them we literally got like ripped off stage spill everything you would now if they interrogated you that's how they would do it that's how the We literally got like ripped off stage. Spill everything? You would? No. If they interrogated you?

That's how they would do it. That's how the New York Times does it. Now that those fucking... It's basically Abu Ghraib. Seems like Dave kind of won that one though pretty aggressively. What do you mean? Well, the fucking video he posted of the talking to the Washington Post lady got like a billion views. And then all of his tweets about them like blew up.

I think that... Didn't he see one of them at the pizza fest yeah and he was like i don't like you yeah he's like oh no we came from cuba like she just like said she just completely changed the subject it is crazy how they all just put out the same exact article though like word for word it's crazy that it any of it still influences anybody i don't think it does i don't think anyone actually gives a shit about it anymore yeah it's the most tired like uh least newsworthy thing yeah of all time what was the what was the no homo one he said that uh oh one of the some christian hackenberg the quarterback he's like christian hackenberg is super good looking or something no No homo. No homo. They thought that, they thought like sponsors were going to pull from that.

My God. Yeah. I won't have a fucking homophobia in my 8.8 slice. Like the biggest sponsor that we have. Like Coca-Cola was going to bail. Yeah. Like we saw what happened to Bud Light. Yeah.

I don't think so. Ford is going in the opposite direction. Yeah. They're going to put no homo in their branding. Yeah. Ford. Those commercials't think so. Ford is going in the opposite direction. Yeah, they're going to put no homo in their branding. Yeah, Ford. Those commercials are so crazy. They're plugging up the tailpipes way too much like an asshole. Yeah. What comes out of it?

Sorry if it offends you, but we're all in on America. You see the fucking truck commercials where it starts like that oh yeah where people are like yeah a dude in his truck yeah and then another guy another guy drives by and he's like all right now we're talking and then it pans out and they're on like a 20 lane highway and they're all going at the same exact speed yeah in unison clapping sorry if this offends you bud light but ford is all in on america i don't know who wrote that commercial thinking that it would affect anyone dude because there's definitely people out there who are like all right sell the chevy sell it now very specifically this part oh yeah they. They're like, why do people think a queen sample from the 80s is going to...

Because it works, dude. I guess it all works. I mean, there's beer commercials just like that. I really think that the fight of commercials these days is getting you to look up from your phone. Yeah. Like, it has to be something... I know commercial jingles that I've... The Spectrum One commercial has been really driving me up a wall.

Have you heard that one? How's it go? It must be because you're using a different streaming service than I. I use Spectrum. It's on football. Oh, yeah. You haven't heard it? Seven hours of commercial free football with Red Zone.

So you only watch Red Zone? I put on Red Zone. So when you're saying you watch Red Zone, are you watching like there's multiple games on they jump to every game so you don't you can't like i i need to watch the whole game doesn't that kind of kill all the suspense when it's like all right now we're coming back to the jets game and oh they're in the red zone again no i like that so you don't watch like so when you watch the birds you don't watch the full game if i'm watching the eagles i'm keeping it on them okay i see if i'm watching the Eagles, I'm keeping it on them. Okay, I see. If I'm watching the fucking birds, I'm locked in.

I'm popping a fucking extended release Adderall and I'm fucking taking down stats by hand. I feel like that's kind of hard to get into the game. What? When it's on red zone. I agree. I'm having a hard time focusing. If it's my team, but if I have bets on- You're just like, go back.

Go back to the fucking Patriots. But if I have bets on seven games- I guess that's true. It makes sense. Then I want to see what's happening in all of them. If I'm in eight fantasy football leagues or whatever the fuck. It was too much. Anyway, there's a Spectrum One commercial now, and it's this long-ass song, and it's just

as catchy as the Burger King song, but there's a chorus, and they break it down. I bet a genius wrote the Burger King song. Well, they're just doing it every... They're just changing the lyrics in the exact same tune. But whoever wrote that melody was a fucking... He probably got paid fucking $300. Yeah. I guarantee that they had like consulting firm.

He's probably leading the strike right now. The writer's strike. Isn't that over? I guess it ended like last night, right? And what conclusion did they come to? AI is just going to run everything now. That was the did they come to nothing happened i was just gonna run everything now that was the conclusion they came to everyone's like thank god put down the fucking flags they got tired of striking and they're like all right just do chat gbt after

they like lynched the people from the drew barrymore show oh yeah after they like hung the people from the drew the from the bill maher show that was like a week ago right and yeah they're like you guys are scumbags. And then one week later, everybody's back to their exact same work. Did you see that video of who was the comedian that just posted? He was like, I did my 10 most offensive minutes for an American audience. Did you guys see this video? Is it Jimmy Carr?

Yeah, you didn't see that oh it's it's rough i think jimmy carr is funny i do too i think he's a good joke or an outstanding joke writer i think he's very funny but the the bits that he was doing i mean he's done significantly more offensive jokes in the past these ones were all just like my uncle fucked me. And then he looks around and he's like, anyone got a problem with that? Is he telling the truth? No. That sucks.

That's some Hasan Minhaj. Yeah, exactly. You can't lie about getting fucked by your uncle these days. You have to have gotten fucked or have an extraordinary... Hasan Minhaj is getting ripped apart right what happened with him you lied about I don't know bro fucking go to Skankfest and report back

I will what everybody's talking about Hasan should be there he's typically there is he actually Hasan Minhaj at Skankfest would be hilarious yeah Stephen Colbert yeah I heard I heard they're doing uh they're doing a live pod recording of that one with fucking all the late night hosts fallon kimmel jim seth myers

and i heard that the halftime show is the dancing vaccines oh yeah that was an all-time sketch the six months of frank the tank being pissed off about that was even better too dude unbelievable how about the weekend frank the Tank had this past weekend? Yeah, that was crazy. You see the video of everyone leaving Shane's show and they're all taking pictures with him? We should have a video where people go up to him like he's the godfather and ask Frank the Tank for a favor like it's his daughter's wedding day.

I can't wait for Frank the Tank's daughter's wedding. He'd probably just be like, yeah, just request me on Cameo and I'll figure it out. That's like his way of communication. If his family wants to get a hold of him he probably makes them do a cameo request did you see him flying back and him and jenks were on a fucking uh a private plane they were on a pj yeah i wonder who got them the pj uh i don't either cameo or uncle shane you think shane got them a pj no they weren't actually on a PJ But they weren't driving Which is basically a PJ for them Yeah true

Oh I hit silver Let's fucking go I don't know what I'm more excited for My boys Getting silver Or my boy Travis Kelsey Getting some fucking sweet pussy last night Yeah

All time My legend Travis Kelsey Getting that fucking cock wet Finally dude He'd been fucking due. It'd been a couple days for him since he fucked puss. 100%. All right, should we end it?

Let's end the show. All right, thank you guys. We'll see you on, I guess, tomorrow. Perfect. See you guys tomorrow. Thank you.