Son of a Boy Dad - Tsunami Eclipse of the Heart | Son of a Boy Dad #189

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Tsunami Eclipse of the Heart | Son of a Boy Dad #189 -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is April 4th. We're pre-recording this episode. Don't tell people that, bro. They know.

We won't be referencing what happened this weekend. Well, we don't know what happened this weekend. The tsunami. The tsunami. Did you see that? That there's like the water receded in like some Asian country or something like that. So all the... So people think there's going to be a tsunami?

Yeah. Is that like the first sign when it goes really far out? Yeah. That's so scary but then they said that the they got community noted and it said that it was only a one foot tsunami uh but who knows it could have been a warning shot or a tremor i don't think tsunamis are that tall yeah i used to think that a tsunami was just one massive wave that would come crashing down over like like i thought it was like the wave would be like the size of skyscrapers coming just crashing into the city i don't know it's just propagated that rumor yeah it's just the tide rises and and it floods it comes like this or rushes in fast yeah it's still scary oh yeah have you ever

watched that movie uh might be called tsunami uh i think i've seen it's like tom holland's in it but he's like 10 uh i don't know i i don't think i have it's horrifying yeah it sounds scary as fuck because you're just you're just getting taken out into sea with a bunch of like shrapnel and stuff i watched the documentary about the that one brutal tsunami about how people were just i mean i don't know doing what you're doing a tsunami getting to the top floor you really get fucked the word is spelled cool though yeah with the t that's fucking different but the crazy like it's like they get hit with the tsunami and then there's like an earthquake and then there's like people are starving to like it's like it's not

just like oh we lived through the tsunami yeah it's like time for the earth to start shaking now on top of that is the earthquake before or after the tsunami they usually go hand in hand right maybe first because i think wherever in asia there was just this earthquake yeah and they're predicting the tsunami afterwards so far that would make you understand why people thought like there's like a biblical plague or something or like there's a series of these biblical events on why people thought there's a biblical plague or something. Or there's a series of these biblical events. On the first day, there's the earthquake. Second day, tsunami.

Third day, locust. Fourth day, rain, blood, or whatever. Absolutely. I'm getting hit with an earthquake. Has there ever been a real tsunami in the United States or no? Sash waves. There's been sash waves. What's that?

I think it's when the like it happens in lake michigan where it like it's like a teacup and it goes up on one side and it goes down on the other side and then it comes through so it is like a tsunami but it's a lake tsunami but not really bad it's cute yeah yeah it's like cool people like gather around to watch yeah you go towards it you run to the tsunami you know who has it figured out is fucking dogs. Yeah? Whenever there's a tsunami, they go running for the hills like 20 minutes beforehand. They start freaking out.

They always have a weird idea of what's going down. Everyone thinks that dogs are so dumb. Everyone thinks the animals are stupid. Do they? I think that people think that. Do people think that they're dumb? Speaking of dogs, your dog is huge. You saw those pictures of it? I took it out to C to coney island yeah i didn't think it was that big i guess the last

time i saw it was when you just got it yeah it's gotten bigger it's about it's six months old now yeah six months old i didn't know she was gonna get that big though well you had nothing to compare it to i guess there's a soccer ball in the picture what are you comparing it i don't know she just looked way bigger didn't even look like your dog but i guess the last time i saw your dog it was she was literally like two weeks old there was also wind in her face so her ears were sticking straight up she has floppy ears but she was just enjoying the fuck out of the wind because you said last time you said that she wasn't gonna get that big because her paws were small we were praying that she wasn't gonna get that big we've been depriving her of food but she's big yeah how much does she weigh uh i haven't weighed her in a minute she won't

neatly stand on the scale despite my efforts i've been trying to you know bind her feet like a tiger mom yeah like a nasty asian mother but for whatever reason she keeps on growing despite us not feeding her binding her feet keeping her in enclosed areas not letting her, binding her feet, keeping her in an enclosed area, not letting her exercise, not letting her smell anything. It's crazy how big dogs get fast. Like my sister has a golden retriever. She has two golden retrievers, and she has one of them she just got this year. And the last time I saw it was around Christmas, and it was like it would like sit on my lap.

And now it's like the same size as the other golden retriever. These dogs think that they can still sit on the lap though. Oh yeah. That's the worst is. What are those fucking huge dogs? Yeah. What is the breed? Doberman.

No. Maltese falcons. The ones that are real sloppy. No. Close though. Similar. But bigger. No.

Oh fuck. No, close though. Similar, but bigger. No, fuck. There's somebody at home who's screaming at you. I got a photo of one of them. Well, because my friend, when I went to Denver a couple years ago, he was dog sitting, Bo's dog sitting. This huge dog, but it was only like six months old. So they don't know, they don't realize how big they are. So we've talked about it before.

They'll come up and they'll like jump on top of you and they weigh like 80 pounds. Dogs also love to like step squarely into your chest. Oh yeah, or on your balls. They always like to, they're always stepping just inches away from your balls. I'm trying to keep this one PG, brother. We've been on a nasty streak of getting demonetized. Have we? Well, I mean, obviously yesterday's episode was demonetized, if I had to guess. Too much masturbation and pedophilia talk for YouTube's liking. Not for my liking. Not enough for my liking, but...

Yesterday was an overwhelming amount of pedophilia talk. It's good to get it off your chest, though. Otherwise, it's kind of just sitting in the back of your mind. Exactly. And you're always just walking around thinking about pedophiles. You need to iron out the kinks. Yeah, exactly. I can't find this photo. You're looking back three years for a photograph. I'm like the photos that I'm seeing now are where my head is shaved. So that can't be that far back. Unless it is. It might be. No, it's longer than that. Three years?

You didn't have your head shaved three years ago. I'm never going to find this photo. Well, the power to know, the wisdom to know the difference, to control the things you can't control. It's a big dog, big sloppy dog. Ah, yes, now I know what you're talking about. Yeah.

Like, what's the dog in the sandlot? I don't know. You don't know? A big dumb dog. Probably not dumb, though, because if a tsunami comes to the sandlot, that dog's gonna be

the first one. James Earl Jones' blind ass is gonna be getting fucking washed away. It's his dog. Oh, Mastiff. Bull Mastiff. Not what I'm thinking of.

Just look up big dogs. Big dog breeds. Yeah, you won't be able to think of another thing. You won't be able to what I'm thinking of. Just look up big dogs. Big dog breeds. Yeah, you won't be able to think of another thing. You won't be able to crack a joke until you get this out of your head. I don't know what it is. You get a nasty fixation. Are you thinking of an albatross? You know what?

That's what I was thinking of. Are you thinking of a... St. Bernard. St. Bernard. St. Bernard. Yeah, St. Bernard St. Bernard St. Bernard yeah St. Bernard now we can return to our thoughts

now we can return yes needed to know the HD takes over Newfoundland or I guess Newfoundland Newfoundland

Newfoundland those dogs are awesome a Newfie yeah Newfies follow a bunch of the Instagram accounts yeah do bigger dogs have

bigger dicks i don't know but they die a lot earlier i know that jesus christ dude i'm trying to celebrate their greatest thing that they have i took my dog to the dog park your dog is gonna live till it's fucking 30 i'll take that yeah i don't know i don't know what you're trying to say well because it's not a big dog. You just said how big it was. Well, it's a lot bigger than it was when it was two weeks old. Stop trying to put a fucking expiration date on my dog. I'm just saying. It's going to be...

Both of my dogs are actively dying right now. So, it could be worse. This dog at the dog park, this tiny little bulldog came up and was furiously trying to hump my dog and it was so frustrating because its owner was just so nonchalant about it yeah yeah he's getting fixed next week i was like yeah he's really he really gets after it like i was like he's kind of persistent he was like insatiable yeah jesus christ dude that's so creepy what a fucking choice of words just like hands in his pockets like loafing up like cut it out let him enjoy it while he can if that really was his attitude like he wanted his

dog to get like one last nut at the expense of my virgin dog yeah like my my dog at one got fixed because she was in a kennel, so she was fixed early. But two, she's a verge, dude. I've spent every day with my eyes on her. She's never been fucked. And this pervert wants his little dog. Wants his dog to fuck your dog? All right, get off, get off. All right, enough.

Not doing anything, like just saying it under his breath. Why would he kick his ass? I have a BB gun at home, and I've had it for a while since I was young. And my grandpa gave it to me. And my mom told me that the reason that they had the BB gun was because my grandfather's mom, they had dogs and the neighbor's dogs would come over and try and fuck their dogs and she would shoot the dogs in the butt with the BB gun and then they would run off. I feel like a squirt gun would have done it. I know, right? I feel like a water hose or something like that would do.

But I guess the BB gun has a little more range so she could just like open the window and just blast at them. You could put hollow points in a BB gun. It is powerful. Yeah. You can shoot through a Coke can. Yeah. What?

Yeah. Like through both sides. They'll come out the back. That's what I mean. This is, she was maiming these dogs. Yeah. We need to get the guns taken away. I know.

Yeah. They had real guns too though. so I guess it's for the best. She could have easily just killed the dogs. The 45. Very easily. Was your grandmom a good shot? It wasn't my grandmom. It was my grandfather's mom. Great-grandmother.

I think that was who it was. Okay, so they didn't care about dogs. No, no. At that time. They would easily just kill a dog. Well, there were so many of them. Yeah. mom it's my great grandmother i think that was who okay so they didn't care about dogs no no at that time they would easily just well there was so many of them yeah they didn't care life used to be so much less precious which is weird because there's so many more people now yeah people didn't care about dogs people would just have a bunch of kids and they'd be like yeah let them run for one of them yeah we can afford to lose one or two right you got 13 more at home exactly and now there's billions of people on Earth.

Then there was probably barely a billion people on Earth. Now we care so much more about life. I guess that's why there's probably a direct correlation. I'm sure there was probably around a billion. When? 50, 80 years ago. Yeah, there's probably a couple, Bill. Yeah.

But not seven, Bill. No, no. Well, I think they're saying it's eight bill now yep yeah eight yeah i thought we're worried about population control that's what they say oh that's what you're declining i think aren't many countries like japan china they're experiencing population decline well it's probably because they're killing their own people population decline? Well, it's probably because they're killing their own people. Is that right?

There's like population control in China. No, that stopped. No. Yeah, it did. There used to be a one-child policy, and now they're like, come on, get to fucking. Yeah, they are doing that now. When did they stop? I don't know. Probably five years ago. Today. Within the last five years.

This must be breaking news. They recently stopped. Damn. That must have been a crazy day. Well, there's still cities of... All right, Timmy, you can crawl out of the attic now. They're not going to kill you anymore. Hiding the second child.

There definitely was some of that. But there's also cities of single men in China. Really? Full cities? The gender imbalance in China is the highest in the world, I think. Because they were emphasizing having boy children. And they would abort the daughters, and they would throw daughter babies in the river. And the fields.

They would just let them run off into the fields and go, be gone now. Yep. That might have been an old urban legend. You're thinking of Moses. off into the fields and go be gone now yeah that might have been in our old urban legend you're thinking of moses you're thinking of moses being set afloat on the river nile i remember everyone used to say that when we were growing up they would be like yeah if you have a daughter in china they make it just run into a field and die how is she even running though i mean they they're gonna wait a year maybe you raise them until they can walk and feed them until they

can run just so they can maybe they You feed them until they can run. Maybe they have whole tribes of women in the woods who survived. They're strong as hell. I was reading about an African country that has witch camps. Really? Is that like they train you to be a witch? No, where they put the witches. Ghana?

There's thousands of witches in these witch camps. It's supposedly to give them a safe space to do witchcraft. But really, they're rounding them up and putting them into a camp. Absolutely. I wonder what kind of craft these women are doing. I'd love to know. I'd love to go down there and check it out. We should do a video down there.

They're brewing toil and trouble in a cauldron. Casting spells. Craft brews. There was a girl who was a practicing Wiccan person in our high school. Really? And everyone looked at her and we were all... Some people kind of mocked her, but those who knew were afraid. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you have to be.

I feared her. You have to. It's not worth the risk. No, it's better... You better hedge. Make fun of the. You have to. It's not worth the risk. No, it's better. You better hedge. Make fun of the poor kid. Yeah. It's so much easier.

Make fun of the kid whose parents smoke when they drop him off for school every day. Yeah. Not the witch. No. That's crazy. The witch probably had rich kids. It's probably the ultimate act of rebellion. Exactly.

You got to pick your fights. She was actually quite lovely. I got to know her. I feel like she cast a spell on you glinda well it was it was kind of fucked up uh so you know i was like one of the popular kids that played sports and stuff of course uh this girl was like just totally not part of that crowd and probably black eyes like a beetle my buddy one day actually bet me he He was like, I bet you $10,000 that there's no way you can get her to win prom queen. I think we already all got it, right?

Deal. I will say it took me an embarrassing amount of time to get it. Let me just say that she taught me so much more than I could have ever taught her. When that movie came out, was it like a movie? Carrie? Carrie? Yeah, right? That's what it's called, right?

I love that you don't even have the right movie. Is that not what it's called? This plot is so generic. Is that not the right movie? It's the one with Freddie Prinze. She's all that. She's all that she's all that yeah oh i thought carrie was the stephen king that is yeah where there's like the witch and she goes in she closes the doors and burns everyone alive yeah well it's slightly different

she's another movie with laney briggs yeah like paint on her overalls that's the exact same plot no laney briggs was like, this girl, they're like, well, I could make any girl prom queen. This cocky ass Freddie Prinze character

and then she walks up the steps, maybe the hottest girl that I've ever seen. But she's wearing overalls and has like thick glasses on and they're like, what? No.

It's so funny. They do that. They spoof it in Not Another Teen Movie where they're like, she's got paint on her overalls. They spoof it in Not Another Teen Movie. She's got paint on her overalls. Yeah. All they do to do this glamorous makeover is they just take her glasses off and all of a sudden she's a 10. And it's like, same thing happens in that movie.

And that girl in Not Another Teen Movie isn't even close to as hot as the character in She's All That. Correct. She's so hot. They're like, what? When she walks down the stairs and the son, the younger brother's like hot they're like yeah when she walks down the stairs and the the son the brother younger brother's like it's like dude that's your older sister damn i i really was confident that you guys were talking about carrie well carrie's a good one but the i think the idea behind carrie was that they they lied to her that she was prom queen right

they mocked her yeah but. But they know what? They had the cool jock bring her to prom. They also did that in the Drew Barrymore movie where she goes back to high school. Never been kissed? Never been kissed, yes. I've never seen that. And in Clueless, what happens in Clueless? Alicia Silverstone falls in love with her stepbrother at the end of the movie

that shit's weird who is Paul Rudd I love Paul Rudd gotta love Paul Rudd young Rudd you should listen to his episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard it's really cool

he's the man I can't listen to Armchair Expert I don't know if it's even good but i just can't listen to a podcast from the guy from punked yeah he's not my favorite but somehow the guests are very good and he asks pretty good questions who's he married to uh the girl from bell yep that's it from saving sarah Sarah Private Ryan. Saving Sarah Private Ryan. Kristen Bell. Who's the other one?

Christian Laettner. Lake Bell. Laketh Stanfield. Lakeith. Who's the other one that was dating, what's his name, the guy from, they were both in American Horror Story. Gerard Carmichael. Is he gay? People were talking about this last night.

Apparently he's got a documentary out where he's sucking people's toes does he apparently and he had a crush on Tyler the creator or something

oh yeah that was all the talk all the talk at the big hang that you missed I know I missed it Francis texted me and said get to the stand

stat I sent him the roster yeah it was one of those things read the text every single time saw the roster that another person walked into the green room, they all made the comment, what a hang.

No. That was what everybody said, one after another, what a hang. No. We're all sitting in a circle. It was so unusual. It was one of those rare nights where the whole,

everything lined up. That's just Joe List, though. That's what he does every time. No, because I've been in there with Joe List. List was there? Every time time every time i stand and joe list shows up he goes look at this hang yeah but this was really special because people were pulling up chairs and sitting in a circle and everyone was including each other no one was on their phone was this a duck duck goose

game who was in the hang a lot of killers a lot of killers read the lot of killers. Read the fucking text. We had Joe List, Dan Soder. Legend. We had Jordan Jensen. Oh, my God. We had Derek Gaines. Okay. Bro. We had Karen Feehan.

We had Ryan Beck. Oh. Brendan Sagalow. Oh. You know, who else did I tell you was there? I don't remember. You have it on text. Just read the text.

I think I listed everybody that I sent to him. Yeah, I think you did. Oh, TJ Miller. No. Brooks Whelan. What? Moved to New York, apparently. I didn't know that.

Did you? No. It's a new hotspot. It is literally the new hub right here. Brooks is cool. I like Brooks. Austin is dead. Brooks Wheeling has moved here. So a lot of killers.

A lot of killers. And what, Sass, you just said I'm not going? Well, it was like 10 p.m. Well, you probably can't. And what? You stay up until 3 a.m. scrolling phone all day. No, I've been going to bed early. I've been going to bed by midnight.

Cap. No. No. But I'm not going to bed early i've been going to bed by midnight cap no but i'm not gonna tonight brought my playstation playstation's in my backpack right now you're bringing it to providence with me weirdo for that i know good luck wiring that into a hotel tv it shouldn't be it shouldn't be too hard all it is is an hdmi i don't know man some hotels are way easier to do that than others some have it right there some of it right on the counter yeah i don't think that's gonna be easy for you. Some hotels really want to prevent you from plugging in your own equipment. Do you remember

back in the day when there were hotels where you could actually pay to rent a Nintendo 64? There'd be a gaming system, but you had to pay to use it? Oh, I remember that. Remember that? Yeah, I've seen that in hotels. No, I remember because you'd walk in and there'd be a controller in the room. It was before your time, though. No no i was probably really young when they had it

yeah because i remember i didn't even know what the controller was for i want to hear more about this hang dude i cannot get over this fucking hang let me tell you it sounds like the i'll read the i'll read the 1992 what happens at the hang stays at the hang all right well just give me some who was the mvp of the hang. All right, well, just give me some, who was the MVP of the hang? True. Who kind of surprised me? Give us goats and woats. Man, I don't know. Soder was kind of on fire, dude. Soder was doing impressions.

What? He was taking bits from the conversation and just kicking those into voices. Everyone was rolling. Who was bringing down the vibe, though? Who was kind of like, they would talk and you'd be like, anyways, Soder, what were you saying? I had tried to make a few points, and after I made them, I realized I should not have said anything.

Yeah. Oh, so you think it was you? That's actually the most humble way to go about it, because if you bring someone down or you talk about the hang out of class, you might be shunned from the next hang. Yeah. I killed a hang recently bad what do you mean to the point that i had to leave the room so i was so embarrassed you killed the hang i killed the hang i brought the hang down i was the vibe killer i was at the snl after party and it was when i was at the stand you brought down this snl after

party and i went down to the green room thinking no one would be in the green room and i was tired and i was like i want to go down there and just sit down and go on my phone and i went down and it was all like cool black comics it was like uh michael che derrick gains sam jay who martin monroe monroe martin monroe martin and uh and uh they and they were talking about rap music and i and i made a comment about it and they all turned around and looked at me and then just continued the conversation. Oh my god. You brought up Slug Christ? I got up and left. My face was like neon red when I was walking out.

I was like, why did I just do that? That's tough. Sober too? Yeah. What would even make you say that? I don't know. I was just, dude, it was fucking like 6 a.m. I was delusional.

Delirious. Delirious. That's tough, man. You're delusional right now. Well, I think that's probably why I waited until the hang was dispersing to text you. Because I thought there was a risk you might... There was a risk that I could come and kill the hang. Yeah.

That would be brutal. Because Derek Gaines overlapped from both of those hangs. He would be the one that would be like, Sass is a hang killer. This fucking guy. He would have have said don't bring that kid around this kid's back the hang killer or if you get labeled as a hang killer you can't shake that no yeah who is it who is somebody that kind of surprised you um sagalow that bastard oh i love sagalow i love sagalow he's a killer i like him a lot um i would say that all these people i have high opinions of them so nobody really surprised me aaron berg was there you said yeah aaron berg yeah you forgot to list him off i forgot he only

came in for a little ah because he went out to smoke a cigar this ocean's 13 i know 13 killers in new york yeah 13 came in and his he wears that chinchilla coat yes yes i mean it's cool it's a cool group that's in there it is damn you left my apartment to go do that damn you guys were hanging last night we were hanging yeah he abandoned my hang interesting ron was serving very aged wine aged like a fine wine yes which is usually a good thing except for this had stink lines well he's got a new process for aging where rather than put it in a cellar he opens it and lets it age opened yeah i was like no like, no, it's good. It's good. It's fine. My wife was like, is this old?

I was like, no, we're drinking it. Yeah, and the two of them were sort of debating. She was like, I feel like we opened that a week before. And Ron's pouring it for me. He's like, no, no, no. It was only Saturday. And then I opened another one that was even stinkier. And I was like,

this is actually bad. Yeah. Which did make me feel better because that made me think that that was the one that was bad. What happens if you drink old wine? Does it go skunked like beer? It oxidizes. This one, there was one that was fully skunked, oxidized, however you want to put it, had turned. Yeah. And then the other one was, it really wasn't that old, but it was fun to talk about the first time i ever drank beer was it was a skunked beer and i thought this is what beer tasted like what was it last week very funny very funny no no one was home at my house and i went outside to our

porch and there was a we had one of those little mini fridges and there was a beer and i opened it up in the port for the fridge was filled with mold. And I didn't really know. I didn't really care. And I took a beer out and it was a beer in a bottle. And the bottle was closed, but the beer was only like half full. Because it had just been in there for so long that it started like evaporating. Boy, you were thirsty. And I took a sip of it and it was the worst tasting thing I've ever tasted. And then I poured the rest of it in a water bottle and put it under my bed.

I was like, I'm going to save this for for later let it ferment up a little bit prison style put it in with an orange peel in a toilet bowl yeah really go to town on it yeah the first time you taste alcohol it is foul yeah it is and then you wind up going into your parents liquor cabinet and you get like a liqueur you have like chartreuse or some shit like that or drambouille. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I had drambouille as one of the first boozes that I drank out of my parents' liquor cabinet. I don't think I ever had just straight up booze

until I was in college. Because when we would drink- When was that, last year? Because when we were in college, or when we were in high school, we would just mix. We'd all be like, all right, get a couple drops of fucking

the tequila in your parents' cabinet. And then we'd just mix them all together and it would be a fine brown liquid that we would jug. Yeah, jungle juice. Oh, you were combining all types of different liquor? So that no parent would notice that everyone had taken a little bit? Yeah. It would be like, here's, I got a little bit of tequila and you got a little bit of dry gin. Let's mix those together.

Oh, man. It was so gross, dude. Were you mixing it with whiskey, dry gin. Let's mix those together. It was so gross. Were you mixing it with whiskey too? Or would you mix just the clears? Oh, no. Yeah. I'm not kidding. It would be black.

You created a witch's brew. Yeah. Yeah. And it would get you so drunk. We need to put you in a Ghanaian internment camp. It would be like the worst tasting thing. You'd have to drink it with soda. Yeah.

With sodas. I'm pretty sure that's the shit that Timothee Chalamet's mom drank to become a member of the tribe yeah dune 2 fuck i didn't see dune 2 yet i tried to watch dune 1 again i couldn't for the fucking life of me sit through dune 1 you need to be on a plane shit is mid as i was on a plane no it's not mid shit is mid as hell someone else was giving me shit for liking it recently and they were like how i said i love doing one they go how and i'm like you know that i'm not the only one what do you mean how probably like 95 on rotten tomatoes the biggest stars in all of hollywood are in the movie don't act like i'm an aberration for liking something that is very popular that's so douchey yeah it is i just don't like it i'm not acting like you're an aberration i just can't get into

i don't have a problem with either of you not liking i've never seen it but i have a problem with someone having a problem with me liking it right you can't that's how i feel about salt burn though like when people say they like salt burn i, well, I just lost the respect for you. But I think Dune is a lot more generally liked. Like, widely. Like, everyone likes Dune. Yeah, I loved Dune. Yeah, did you like Saltburn?

Yeah, I liked Saltburn. What was a recent move you didn't care for? Well, I was just... On this thought from Hairball here, there's a lot of things that you like, which i can't fathom yes but i don't hold it against you yes but i but like you just said that me liking salt burn makes you lose respect for me i hated salt burn to that point there's a lot of things that you like that i don't like but i don't care doesn't bother me but salt burn is one of those things that it crosses the line that i'm like yeah i don't see how we could be friends if you liked that movie let's say that our your respect for tank for me was at a 70 out

of 100 maybe 65 i don't know where yeah yeah before finding out about salt but my like of salt burn what is it at what is how much does it take away from well it would depend on how much you liked salt burn i call it b plus you're down in the 40s now. Wow, that's significant. Yeah. Easily. And you know something? And that's generous. And that's only because we have like Kansas City and Rochester coming up.

I was about to ask if there was a way for me to replenish that respect. And then it occurred to me that you losing that much respect over a movie for me took my tank for you down to 35. Interesting. What were you mad about then? It was at like 75. You know I love you. You know how I feel about you. Yes, all right.

I texted you hoping you would come to that hang last night. I get it. You guys could have been hanging. What did you not like about it? How horny it made you? No, how disgusting it was. How many cocks you saw? How repulsive it was.

How rock hard you got by seeing another man big juicy cock? Movies for free. That's a movie that like if I was like the president or something, I'd ban it in the country.

Like if I was Putin, I would watch that movie and be like, salt burn tunnel out in Russia. You have a tiny brain though. You keep salt burn out of Russia forever? You have a small mind though.

And that's not anyone's fault but yours yeah i guess i feel like i'm pretty open i'm pretty open with movies i like most movies i watch there's that that's probably the last movie that i can think of that i watched and i didn't find any redeeming qualities in it did you like the song at the end murder on the dance floor as he dances through the house naked no i thought that part sucked i thought that was great. No, you probably had already made it in your mind. You didn't like it because he was naked.

I hated every part of that. And you don't like the fact that he's a diminutive man with a large penis. I also think I just don't like that guy. That's right, you don't like him. Because I watched, what's it called, Christopher Nolan, oh, Dunkirk with him. Ugh. Snooze Fest. You didn't like Dunkirk?

That was me watching it. you did you watch the fuck you banshees of inishirin no i didn't but i've heard it's great well he's in that too that's really that will truly be the time skip you're skipping all q what is how's his name said barry keown keown keown probably keown he ain't jewish k-e-E-O-G-H-A-N. It's that Irish spelling of it, right? Did you see the new Batman? Loved it. He's in that.

Must have fast forwarded that part. He's the Joker. No, he's not. He's the new Joker. Barry Cohen is the new Joker. Oh, like right at the end. When he's in the cell. Yeah.

That's him. I actually thought of them showing the Joker. I actually remember that being one of my takeaways was that when they showed the Joker, I was like, man, that was unnecessary. They didn't need to do that. You're a hater. Little tease. Great movie, though. That was a good movie.

That was a good one. I wanted to be the Joker. I guess that dream's over. Is he Irish? Yeah, he's Irish and in the Banshees of Innishir. That was a quote from the Banshees of Innishir. I didn't need your giggle at a movie you've never seen. Suck that giggle back in.

Speaking of which, speaking of the Irish, Colm wants to come on the podcast next week. I told him he could. I said he's coming on. He spent too much time with Ari. He's on the road. Yeah, he's coming back from the road, and he said... Those dudes are probably spending time naked together.

Oh, yeah. He said it's exhausting. He said it's slow. How naked they are. A lot of naked. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, I guess you can come on. You ever done a run like that?

What? Like opening for someone or being... Or like where you're on the road for like a month straight? No. Now? And I don't have a whole lot of interest no sounds like a lot yeah what's that check look like though probably a ton of money i mean ari sold out i think he sold out like two straight weeks of the comedy works yeah when we were there they were like they were like he's trying to set

the record for most shows and they were like like, he just added his 14th show. He's doing Monday nights, Tuesday nights, Wednesday nights, through the weekend. He just wanted to ski for a while. And then he would like take nights off. Yeah. And then just go back. What? He does this weird thing.

He's doing Cleveland. He's doing something like Thursday, Friday. Then he's not there for the weekend. Then he's coming back on Tuesday. I don't know. I don't know what he's doing something like Thursday, Friday, then he's not there for the weekend, then he's coming back on Tuesday. I don't know what he's doing. Damn. We got to go on Rogan. I know.

We do. You know he was the first guest ever on Rogan? Really? Ari Shaffir. Yeah. It should have been us, bro. I know. We would be selling out Cleveland so hard right now.

Cleveland's a fun city to perform in. Of course. Hilarities. Hilarities. Kaylin Clark was just saying that. Really? She did hilarities. Kaylin Clark is my goat. She did hilarities and she was like, here's a joke.

Women's basketball. The crowd went crazy. The crowd fucking loved it. Not even true though because women's basketball right now is so much better than men's basketball. Well, it's more watched. Yeah. It's so much better. Wait.

It's more watched yeah it's so much better wait it's more watched was that lsu game more watched than any of the men's games of the of the tournament so far i don't know it was like 12.8 million something some shit like that i don't know i wonder i watched it of course i watched it i said i told my dad it was going to be 20 million though you have to say you watched it h i you'll get canceled if you say you didn't watch the women's the women's game well it was going to be 20 million though you have to say you watched it that's hi you'll get canceled if you say you didn't watch the women's the women's game well it was a race war that's what we were really watching for yeah it's like that new movie civil war but with race yeah well like the civil war yeah honestly um wait what's the last movie you saw that you didn't like yeah i'm

interested that's challenging I tend to put those out of my mind. Really? Yeah, I know what you mean. But there's got to be one in there. You guys talk, I'll think. I recently just watched

the movie that won Best Adapted Screenplay. Mm-hmm. Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't. The black movie. Oh.

No, I don't. It was very good. So it's not a movie that you didn't like. I thought we were talking movies we didn't like. I'm just trying to buy Francis some time. I didn't love Maestro. I watched Maestro. I didn't really like it very much.

Yeah, I didn't watch that. I heard it was kind of mid, though. It was very artsy. I'm not a big artsy guy. I think that's what it comes down to. It was basically saying we are going to rely on the fact that Bradley Cooper is so in this character that his performance as Leonard Bernstein will captivate and carry the movie. That was kind of my takeaway. And I guess, I don't know Leonard Bernstein.

I didn't love it. I don't know. It just seemed I didn't love it. I don't know. It just seemed kind of nebulous and pointless. I don't like movies that you need to think deeply on the ending to be like, oh, that's why it was a good movie. Did you watch the movie about a zone of interest? No, but I've heard that's good. It's very good, but you're just kind of talking about it. You have to kind of pay attention to appreciate what's good about it.

I like good movies. Oh, okay, wow. No, and I hate when people are like, oh, what's your favorite movie? Casablanca, probably. Really? More than The Dark Knight? More than Ocean's Eleven?

You thought Citizen Kane was better than Ocean's Eleven? I agree. Who on earth, if you were like, here, let's watch both of these movies back to back. You watch Citizen Kane and then, I mean, dude, honestly, even like Ocean's Eight. You'd be like, wow, Citizen's Kane really, really blew my mind. Well, come on now. No. Ocean's Eight?

Yeah. The one with the women? Yeah. I heard that was terrible. It was terrible. And I bet it was still better than Citizen Kane. I think Ocean's 11 is a fine thing to say, but now you're being ridiculous. Yeah, I don't think I am. You're talking out of your butt. Fuck.

I've seen all those movies and I took film classes and everyone was like, oh my god, how am I just hearing about this movie for the first time? This is beautiful. Shit is ass. No. Ocean's 8 is infuriating to the level that I get infuriated. What you're talking about with Salt Burn, that's how I feel about Ocean's 8. It's infuriating to watch. I just don't like when people pretend that these movies from the 1940s are the best movies of all time. That pisses me off.

But there are some great movies. Have you ever seen It's a Wonderful Life? Yeah, mid. Come the fuck on. No, that movie's pretty good. There you go. Casablanca is also actually pretty good. It's great. Citizen Kane is terrible. I've never seen it. Don't. It's bad. You just need stuff in full color? Yes. You probably hated the beginning. Yeah, obviously. Yes, I do. I need

stuff in full color. Sir, you were watching The Wizard of Oz. It's 2024. You were watching The Wizard of Oz and you thought that sucked. Why would I want to watch a movie in black and white? Yes, Wizard of Oz. Yes, exactly. But then it gets full color, so's 2024. You were watching the Wizard of Oz and you thought that sucked. Yes, exactly. But then it gets full color, so halfway through you're like, this is fucking incredible. No, dude, Wizard of Oz is a good movie if you're six years old and you've never seen a movie before.

Who now is sitting down and be like, you know what we should watch tonight? Wizard of Oz. Film or like theater students. Yes, nerds. I think that there is work that endures that that holds its place to the day but i think people only think those movies are good because of the time that it was so when did movies start getting good 1990 but but then are you also saying retarded hairball are you going to tell me that 60 years from now our our great grandchildren

our grandchildren will be in the right for saying that The Dark Knight's a bad movie. Yes. If they're making better movies than The Dark Knight. The Godfather sucks? No, The Godfather's great. When was that? Before 1990. 70s? 60s probably? 70s. Alright.

I lost. You win. That's all I ever wanted. What about books? No, books hold up books why do books why would you give that to books and not movies because i don't think books can really get that much better because the medium is limiting i yeah exactly it's worse there's like better uh camera equipment yes better um special effects and stuff like that okay i see what you're saying i see what you're saying yeah but you're basically saying you like special effects and stuff like that. Okay, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying, yeah. But you're basically saying

you like special effects movies. It's like when people show those old fucking black and white comedy shorts where it's someone jumping out of a building and they're like, you know who actually did that, right? Charlie Chaplin?

Yeah, but there's like... The Three Stooges? Yeah, there's a bunch of them. And it's like... And then they're like, how fascinating is that? And it's like, yeah, you know what's also fascinating?

How they don't need to do that anymore because they can just do it on the computer. Dude, it's funny to watch. You ever see clips, and I don't even know if they're real, but maybe they're just reimagined clips of audiences watching Charlie Chaplin and laughing their heads off in the theater. And you're like, they think it's that funny? Imagine showing them a louis ck special their heads would explode yeah yeah how would these people handle you know how they when slapstick was new when like someone fell over for the first time and someone was like yeah i mean dude even like the old have you ever watched that george carlin documentary no but i sent you that ai thing

right yeah yeah but george carlin like in uh like when he was like first starting comedy he was doing like slapstick like wearing the suit like weird shit and then he just evolved into doing rants about abortion what do you think about that what do you think about that ai thing i sent you did you watch it yeah i watched it i thought the bill cosby thing was funny. What was it? I sent him this thing that someone generated an AI set of George Carlin and how

he would talk today about these contemporary issues and he's talking about trans rights and stuff like that. Have we lost you here, Hairball? No, I got to leave in 10 minutes, though.

No, 14 minutes, bro. I just looked as well. What's happening over here? I don't know. Roan's throwing shit at me. Yeah, I was just trying to get your attention. And I said to him, I said to... The part that really rang a bell for me

in this set from George Carlin was that he said, you know, are we going to be replaced by ai i probably not you know i would say because i'm an artist a lot of comedians will say i'm an artist my art can't be generated by ai and then he goes on as an ai thing to disprove that by doing a very funny very in the tone and tune of george carlin set on topical issues of today so was it just ai presented or ai written ai written are you sure you think okay so yeah our jobs are not safe and i kind of stupidly thought well at least being a creative and I agree and I disagree. I agree in the sense that if it becomes like a type of thing where you want to listen to a comedy album or something like that, then if it was AI, you'd be like, well, if it's funny, it's funny, right? But I think as long as people still keep going to see things live, no one's going to go see George Carlin AI live.

Hey, guys, let's take a second and talk about game time. Game time. Game time. Oh yeah, the game time. I mean, look how easy it is to open up the game time app. I just, G-A-M-E is the only one in there. And then boom, I'm on the game time app. Drake and Lil Wayne playing at the Prudential Center.

The Prue. Unbelievable stuff. Yeah. Nicki Minaj, Olivia Rodrigo at Madison Square Garden. Kaitlyn Clark. Yes. Lil Nas X. Yes.

Flagey Johnson. Yes. All of these people are probably available to be seen. Bad Bunny. Bad seen. Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny. I mean, Zach Bryan. Zach Bryan.

Zach Bryan has his dates in December out already, too. Did you see that video of him getting clocked with cakes? Yeah, that's the kind of stuff that goes on in his shows. Heavens to Betsy. I can't believe it. But, I mean, if you want to be one of the cake throwers, you probably can get a ticket for that at game time you you click on the event you basically can get a map or a list of the tickets and you can say hey i want to have these incredible seats that are right next to the stage

incredible pricing there's a little blue check mark that says best deal next to it to let you know you are truly getting an incredible deal on whether you want to go to a concert, comedy event, sporting event. There's so much on there on GameTime. It really is the best ticketing app. I mean, I just went to some of these NCAA tournament games. I got my tickets on the way there. I ordered them in the Uber on the way there. By the time I'm inside, I have the tickets.

It's truly seamless. Most people would say it's irresponsible to start heading to a big sporting event without a ticket. But with GameTime, it's certainly not. Because it is that much of a guarantee that you're going to get the best seats for the best deal. Well, what you're doing is you're taking the guesswork out of buying the very best tickets. And that's why we have GameTime. Download the GameTime app. Create an account. Use code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply time download the game time app create an account use code boy dad boy dad for 20 off your first purchase terms apply download the game time app today

last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed i also think yeah i think that live shows production is one of the safest and will be in the most demand especially as people work less as people have more free time as people that there's more options of shit to do on the weekends. But I also think that AI is useful as an offshoot or parody or reduction of something, as opposed to if you want a new genre of music or something like that, you're not going to be able to get an AI of a new genre. genre of music or something like that you're not going to be able to get an ai of a new genre if you're trying to create something different or new that's not uh referential to something then that's where ai doesn't have any type of foothold because there's not it's not a fresh um

observation on something yeah exactly um well my thought to stay ahead of ai is that as a comedian i'm gonna start doing stuff that's totally unexpected yeah and i'm just gonna go out on stage and do a couple jokes and then all of a sudden you know scream the n-word yeah i think that's the only way to really stay on top of it yeah and then ai will be like it'll be like the fembots from Austin Powers. AI could have, because AI is all immediately wokewashed. So AI could have never come up with Michael Richards' comedy store sketch. Yeah, but I do think the George Carlin thing that you sent me, it's kind of showed that it wasn't wokewashed. But are you sure that he wrote that? Or are you sure that that wasn't written by someone and just performed by an ai of george carlin i'm not sure we're not sure but i think it

was generated i think it was all ai generated because it wasn't performed it was no there was no video it was just audio right but they couldn't have written it and putting it through his audio like there's ai songwriting programs where someone will sing something but you have to write it. Or they could generate it. They have like Plankton from Spongebob singing. Right, right, right. And that shit rules.

Yeah, that shit does rule. That's what I mean. But you're not going to go to a concert. Have you ever heard like the Spongebob remixes to songs? No, I've actually sworn off Nickelodeon ever since they raped all those kids. I do not want to put another dollar in their pockets.

That's when Sas got back into it. Was SpongeBob raped? SpongeBob was molested by Dan Schneider. I'll tell you who was definitely molesting kids was that fucking pirate that they would show in the middle of episodes. The real dude. And I'll tell you who was definitely... That guy was annoying as fuck and you know who he was molesting patrick yeah patrick has all the signs of somebody who's like

uh my growth was stunted because at a certain age a bad thing absolutely do you guys ever watch you guys watch the office right yeah this is something. Have you watched it start to finish? Yes, multiple times. And you, Rowan? Yes, multiple times. Can you explain? Because I've been seeing Kevin Malone, that actor, everywhere. He was on Bustin' with the Boys and stuff like that. He was on our NFL draft show a couple years ago.

He said one of my observations was stupid. He was on the yak at the Super Bowl, and I made him laugh with a great vaccine joke. Go ahead. One of my proudest moments. Will you explain to me how at the start of The Office, the first season or two, maybe even three, that character is this grumbly but coherent, quiet, grumbly, sad guy who speaks in a low voice. As the seasons wear on, they make him retarded yeah and he's not in the beginning right and they just changed his character

and they turned him into a developmentally disabled guy i think that's more of a departure from the original character than when on fresh prints they made aunt viv light-skinned instead of dark-skinned like this is a massive departure from the original kevin it's nasty and i think that it weighs on kevin to the point where he now has to be like sarc, completely talks in his own voice, wears a nice watch. He wants to distance himself from the voice, the personality, how he's viewed to be dumb. He wants to be his own character, not this dumb character that they created in seasons 3 through 11 or whatever. Have you noticed this? Have you guys noticed this phenomenon? Yeah, I mean, they do it a couple times.

Do they address it has this been spoken of i'm sure i i think people more talk about stop it's actually annoying as fuck i think people talk about more uh more about how dwight how dwight is pretty much like the autistic co-worker that they all just make fun of constantly what start to finish yeah well that's fine this is a weird just abrupt change in the entire byline of a character on a show mid-series they kind of do that in workaholics adam divine starts out he's kind of just like crazy and then by the end of this show, he's fully retarded. To me, it's as if they all of a sudden made him start... That's bingo. That's our word, bingo.

We've all said it now. Wow. That means none of us can get in trouble. Yeah, exactly. That means we might be able to get into one of the podcast brackets next year. One of the comedy podcast brackets. Send him these clips. Yeah.

Holy shit. That shows ed clips. Yeah. Holy shit. That shows edgy as fuck. Hey, we might get a bye. We might get a bye in week one. No, no. We have to do way more making fun of. You can't just say it. We need to pick someone and pick on them.

Interrupted though. No, no. This has been good. I don't remember what else I was going to say. Tyler, what are we at here? No, we still have 10 more minutes. Oh, no. This has been good. I don't remember what else I was going to say. Tyler, what are we at here? No, we still have 10 more minutes. Oh, okay. I'm just thinking of sass here.

That's good of you. Throw something at him. He'll like it. Sassy pants. Sassy pants. You know what I started doing last night? I started workshopping a bit that I gleaned from this podcast. Really?

That's always fun. That's Harry's whole act. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And it was about the taking off from LaGuardia and looking out and seeing. Oh, yeah. I was thinking about that last night. You're not taking.

It's mine. No, I know. But I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that. I'll show you the tape. I was there. I did it. How'd it go?

Killed. it's mine everyone knows it's like my signature joke people were like that's francis no i heard doing that amy schumer was this amy schumer was from that at the cellar last night i i didn't even since we talked about it i've been noticing it so much more are you because you see him playing basketball yes you see them like hooping yeah and uh ever since i got upgraded now i'm finally diamond medallion so i the the taste of the orange juice as i recline my seat to watch them play 15 minutes of sunlight exposed basketball a day what's crazy is that makes me feel that much better one of the main food groups in prison is bag of chips is bags of chips and then you could there's at times when

they'll bring around first class the sun chips so there could be a simultaneous oh i like this see he's just writing it and this is why you do need to do it it would be fun but i'm just trying to let's let's let's add a little bit to your act that's good yeah i look down i'm drinking i'm eating my sun chip and maybe there's a guy sitting on one of those steel picnic tables fucking knees are freezing because of how cold the picnic table is a blood splatter from when someone's head got spiked off of it to death and he's eating his sun chip and looking up at that plane and wondering yeah you also eat your son i wonder if there's someone up there

who's looking down and who cares about me. That was the Fievel Goes West song. Somewhere out there. Boy, those were good movies. Fievel? Fievel Goes West, yeah. That's a good bit. I'm gonna use that

tonight for sure. Don't you dare. Providence is gonna hear that one tonight. No. And the pod won't be out yet either, so they'll be like, damn, Sass is some new shit. Hiller. Sass is some new shit. That first class Rikers joke, I mean, that is next level. No, they're going to know you took the train there.

Hey, I could not write that. They're going to know you took the fucking Acela. I know. I'm pissed that I have to take the train. I was going to drive, and then you guys fucking threw off all my plans. I was so excited to just drive and not have to sit on the train for fucking 15 hours. Why couldn't you drive now? Because I'm not going to have enough time.

Is that long to get there? Oh, yeah. That traffic. What is it? A four-hour drive? It would probably be like a five-hour drive with traffic. And how long is the train? Oh yeah, that traffic. What is it, a four hour drive? It would probably be like a five hour drive with traffic. And how long is the train? Three and a half.

The train's so nice, Sass. The train is so unbearable. I hate it so much. Sit on the right side of the train and you'll get to look out as you come through those parts of Connecticut on your way into Rhode Island. You'll see that amazing estuary

there's like that area where there's estuary i'm just waiting for us to run over someone and then i have to cancel the show it's not gonna happen it happens like one out of every two times i take the train 50 of your train rides end in death yes they hit someone and they're like uh we have to do an investigation and it's like yeah you're thinking of the subway dude no this happens on the amtrak right when you're around connecticut and here's why i start jumping one time i played golf in maine with my dad and another guy who on the third hole we asked him what do you do for work and he said i'm a train conductor and then two holes later i gathered the courage to ask if he'd ever run it only took two holes damn bro we were drinking at least wait till the back nine

and he said i've hit three people in my career i've been working the trains for 20 years i've hit three people i've killed three people he couldn't swerve and he goes And they have to replace them after. He said two were suicides, and one, the saddest, was a kid who was wearing headphones and just walking on the tracks. Didn't hear them coming. Must have been some strong-ass headphones. I know. That's a good headphone ad. Yeah. Get Bose.

Get the Bose 700s. Yeah. Yeah. Headphone ad. Yeah. Get Bose. Get the Bose 700s. Yeah.

Yeah. Didn't feel the vibration or anything of the massive train barreling. Oh, shit. This bass is incredible. This beats by Dre. Beats by train. Really make you feel that RPX vibration. But he said. Imagine if they were listening to Drops of Jupiter by train.

He said what well i asked him if if there's any point in trying to stop the train he said at that point to slam on the emergency brakes would do so much damage to the train we probably wouldn't stop in time it's not worth it to damage the train i think it's i think it would it could potentially derail the train would it but so what i mean they're going 80 but we're safe we're talking about a life here i don't want to damage do you think they look or do you think they look away probably look away look away yeah the question is once they've hit the kid do they stop or do they stay right they have to stop eventually they probably hit the kid and they're like, Providence, Rhode Island, coming up in 15 minutes. They get into the station. By the way, about 25 miles back, you're going to find beef carpaccio splattered all over that side of the barn door.

Doors will open on the right. Watch the gap. Oh, man. watch the gap oh man and if you do if anyone happens to find a pair of beats headphones have you ever been on the train when someone gets hit i don't think so dude it is you have yes wow it is the longest delay you could pot it's like four hours stopped because they have to do an investigation they have to bring in they have to do an investigation? They have to bring in the police to do an investigation. They have to clean the train tracks and peel the person off of the front of it.

And then they have to bring in an entire new conductor and Amtrak employees. Not even because they're so fucked up, but just because it's protocol. You get the day off. Maybe they've timed out. It's like once you hit someone, it's like, all right, we don't know if you're going to have a mental breakdown in an hour and fucking kill everybody. So we got to bring in a whole new crew. Harvard had that same policy freshman year. Actually, any year in college, if one of your roommates killed themselves, you got automatic straight A's for the whole semester.

Damn. And I was pushing my roommates because I needed it. roommates killed themselves you got automatic straight A's for the whole semester damn and I was pushing my roommates because I needed it guys I gotta go I apologize enjoy pal fun shows uh come to what are your dates next to be in Ann Arbor next week maybe just a day and uh yeah potentially I'm not too far from there I'll be in Detroit Detroit. Oh. Really? I'm going to Lansing, boys. And then Sacramento in a couple weeks. Who is that look from you at me?

Everyone's going to go to Detroit and not go to Ann Arbor. Well, okay. If you're just doing one-nighters, you should come join me for the Detroit shows. Maybe you boys link up in Lansing. Maybe you guys come up to Kalamazoo and hang out with me.

I've been lancing some boils on my feet lately. That's right, because his feet are so boil-y. Huh? Tee Grizzly. Don't know it. I trust you that these are real people. know it. I trust you. These are real people. He wouldn't lie to you.

Alright, that's 58 minutes. God bless. We'll do ads next week. I'll be in Iceland this weekend. Say what's up. I'll be at Hotel Vique. Hotel Ranga is the other hotel I'm staying at. Did you say there?

No. Later. All right, bro.