Son of a Boy Dad - Weekend at Harrods | Son of a Boy Dad #445

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

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Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad free on Amazon Music. Son of a Boy Dad is brought to you by High Noon. Folks, look, if you're getting into some classic fall day drinking activities, whether that's tailgating, watching football with friends, or pretending you're going Apple picking, high noon is the move. Hey, with real vodka, you know, no added sugar, gluten-free, 100 calories, real juice, folks.

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because they know i keep my fridge stocked with my beloved high noons vodka's my jam you're more of a tequila tequila guy but it doesn't mean we can't have both i mean i'll enjoy vodka from time to time as well but uh it's blanco tequila real fruit sparkling water natural flavors like we said no malt and it's going to be your companion for a good time every time. So go to high noonspeers.com to find out more. And let's start the episode. All right. Welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it is Wednesday, October 14th.

We are here live from HQ3. Hello, hello. Welcome. Welcome to present Wednesday. Oh my God. Present Wednesday. I have actually been looking forward to this. Present Wednesday. I felt like it was Christmas yesterday.

Francis, you want to close your eyes? Christmas evening. Yes, of course. Harry, you want to close your eyes? Sure. as I pull out the Herod's bag. Harry's real name is Herod. All right, open your eyes.

Wow. Very nice. And that's the virgin one. Thank you. Made out of paper. Yeah. Fewer paper. Well played, sir.

Well played. Very nice. I've seen this before. That's an absolute classic. I had to get you with it. That is a classic. That's what we call a runner. We call that a runner.

Francis. Oh my God. In reality. Treat yourself to that. I'm literally, I'm shaking. I know what this is. Oh, my God. Ex-Nahilo, Herod's exclusive.

Brompton Immortals. And you got me the X-ray, which is even more expensive. The X-ray. Very nice. Oh, my God, Harry. There's no chance your gift is as good as mine. I'd be surprised.

What's your got there? I don't know anything? Harry? My gift sir, John. Some like hybrid Bill's Patriots jersey. Do you want to open that? Sown together.

Oh, hell yes. Thank you so much. This is exactly what I was looking for. Oh, my God. This is great. This is what I ask. This is exactly what I ask for.

You get what you ask for. Thank you. Francis got the four hundred. $450 X Nihilo. Yeah, of course. And Sass gets the... Oh my God. Are we punching in on that?

We should punch in just a tiny little bit. Look at this presentation. Give Harry a spritz of that. We're going to get this all over Harry. We got a pretty formal event later on tonight. And Harry wore shorts, but he'll make up for it by smelling like Brompton Immortals, London, Herod's exclusive X-ray. All right, we're going to give this a smell.

Oh, my God. Did you see that? Yeah, the H on the top for Herod's. The H on the top. All right. I'm only doing a little spray because this stuff is so valuable and so hard to get that I don't want to. Okay. Is there a cross breeze in here?

Hold on. Get it on body. Throw a little bit of that on body. Oh, my God. I know. I already know what it smells like. Yeah. But Harry, get it.

I can smell it. It smells really good. Okay, I'm really bad at this. The notes game. But I'm getting like frankincense, pineapple, and maybe like,

maybe like some suede. Yeah, it's mostly suede. Is it really? Yes, it's, oh my God, it smells so nice. I just got a nice whiff of it.

Wait till it gets down wind. I can smell it. No, please don't. I actually can, it's really strong. No, seriously, don't spray it again. And all the wind was blowing

literally the only thing I can smell is that I don't want anymore. Maybe it'll cheer you up to get another gift. Would that feel better if you got another gift? You got to get him two gifts. Have another gift. Everyone knows he needs two. He doesn't care what they are. They just need more.

The ship tavern. The ship tavern. A hoodie from the ship tavern. What's the date on that? 1549. That tavern opened up in 1549. Very nice. Thank you.

The oldest contiguous tavern in all of London. And I knew that you would have appreciate just a plain black hood. Of course. And I still want to even the scorecard a little bit more. So once you open this one up too, here. Oh, wow. There's a lot of stuff.

Yeah, exactly. I needed to even the scoreboard a little bit because of this X in the Hilo. Is there a pair of pants in here? This is all from Churchill's War Room. Oh, the cigars. Yeah. Hell yeah. That's actually sick.

Oh, nice. These things are massive. Yeah, some chunky cigars from Churchill's. Bro, these are like... Sick. This feels like a sleeve of batteries. These things are like actually heavy as fuck. In the movie Waste Man, they put a sleeve of those in some socks and beat someone to death in prison with them.

Is this like in a case or are they actually this stiff? They're actually that heavy. Why don't you open one up? No, this has to be a case. It's not. No, it is. It's not. It's steel.

I'm like, I can feel it. It's not steel. No, there's not anything on earth that is this dense. It's a cigar. It's Churchill's favorite cigars. What are you talking about? It would have to be made of fucking rocks. It's a good cigar.

Thank you. Of course. I can't tell you how pleased I am. I knew you would be. And I like felt bad because I knew it was expensive, but I wanted it so badly that I didn't want to push back beyond just some cursory level of politeness. No, it was my pleasure. It was the first thing I did when I got there.

No one. You don't have to get the. That kind of thing, you know. I'll help. I'll give you to pay you some money. No, no, no. And then my next thing was to go right to Churchill's war room and get sassum. But don't let them fall.

But what if they crack? They're not going to crack. Oh, these are sick. Wait a minute. What are those? Those are the heavy ones. Fucking dildos. Yeah, those are passive.

They're gifts. He's trying to say that they're not in a case. It's a cigar. It's a nice cigar. Wow. That is, how do you even smoke? How do you like this thing? You're going to need a fucking butane.

I mean, that's in a case. You're going to need a soldering iron. These are nice, though. That's a nice size. Yeah, get out on the balcony, smoke one of those. Yeah, definitely going to be a balcony cigar. Wait, Rhone, is this chocolate? Yeah, that's chocolate.

Okay. That makes way more sense. All right. Those ones are chocolate. I love it. That's awesome. Yeah, I'll have a chocolate. I was hoping you'd say so.

Yeah, have a nice chocolate. So that makes a lot more sense. Those ones are chocolate, but I wasn't just going to get you the chocolate. Oh, it says chocolate. Yes, it's massive letters. Ron, you were being really kind when you said I got the notes, right? Because this is what this says. It says, saffron, pink pepper.

Then in the heart, it's Bulgarian rose, Jasmine Absolute, and Yulang, Yulang. I don't know what that is. That was the woman that worked with Jeffrey Epstein, Yelang, Yelang, Maxwell. Her typist. Yeah. At the base, vanilla, Olabon, which is, we killed him in Pakistan. Yep. And Pachuli, and then Amber and Sandalwood.

So I didn't get a single one right. But you know what? You're more of a wine, man. I don't know what I'm talking about. You just know it smells awesome. You're just beginning to learn. I'm a big fan, dude. That is so sick.

I don't have any XNahilo. That was my first one. Of course. Thank you. Of course. I beeline to it. Of course. I really appreciate that.

That's a sick shirt, too. Did you get that in London? No, this is American-made. Oh, sad to say. Well, what? We make great stuff. Yeah, no, we do. We do.

We make decent stuff. I look for American-made clothing. I don't know if I have any American-made clothing. These are made in New York. All of mine are Chinese. The wildfly might be. That's definitely a third party. You think?

Yeah. I think this is a good. I mean, actually, I'm not going to make you feel it. I believe. Yeah, I know. I believe that's American. I know you're not. Like, I'm going to smell this.

I'm going to feel this. I'm going to taste this. Like, if I got a delicious cocktail, I wouldn't pass it across the table for you to take a sip of it. Of course not. Not my style. Harry, can I just see the cigars? Yeah. I know that Churchill himself was more of a Romeo A Julietta guy, but these are his personal brand.

Whoa. Really? Yeah. He was a Romeo A Julieta. It's already open. And he was a Johnny Walker red label guy as well. Really? I wasn't going to support.

Similar to the cobra. Yeah Tim and Tate Arkon in the same version Davidoff is really nice stuff man Yeah those should be nice Yeah those are going to be playful I can't smell it over my wrist The extrace is overwhelming

The power of the cigar Yeah you're not getting any cigar In that smell? No just pure wrist Yeah You honestly you might be able to smoke them in here And they wouldn't know outside That we were smoking cigars

They'd be like is that sandalwood and patchouly? Probably The boy smell good today Probably. What's coming through there? I got hit up by a guy who actually asked me if I would be willing to trade some of the Delta 1 toilet kits. He collects them from every brand. And he was like, I want, I've been looking for them.

They're hard to get. This one's sealed. So this is like, this is like a, like, A-A-a-rated baseball card. There you go. That's pretty cool. Yes. This one's a lot. C-A-Rating 10.

You should get that thing like framed. Get that in a sleeve. Yeah. Did you guys see... Did you guys see that Delta has now unveiled their brand new Delta one seats? No, I don't think so. And they are going to be out next summer. Exclusively, this new batch is on the A350s.

Very nice. Cards right there. That's got to be international flights, right? Oh, for sure. There she is. This beast, this beautiful whale of a plane. And the big thing that I saw, the whole premise that they carried... about was sleep comfort. That was the number one thing they cared about more than like food more

than whatever. So get this. First airplane ever to have the mattress built in to the seat. Wow. So the seats are pure mattress. Well, they also have an additional like rollout sleeping mattress that you can put on top. Oh. So I mean, you're going, it really is a bed. Yeah. It's a bed bed bed. Interesting. But yeah, they look really, really nice, and I can't wait for us to take one, Maiden Voyage situation. Yeah, we'll have to get on that. Maybe we can, like, figure out some sort of deal where we can be, like, tested out,

first flyers. Yeah. First flyers on the new fleet. Yeah. No, they're going to let Teddy Swims go first. Did you guys hear that Teddy Swims is 360? I did. I kind of admire that, to be honest with you, because that means that he is still flying commercial.

Or that means that Delta is, like picking a certain class of celebrity to give 3602 and it's like VIP. I think they do get you do get it if you are famous. They give it to you. There's like, there's like certain things that you can get. Should I, should I message Swims and ask him?

Yeah. How did you get this? Yeah. Ask you if you can come on the podcast and talk about it. But that's it. That's all we want them on for. He probably will. I love watching Teddy Swims go up to people in town squares who are singing his songs

and join them. That's one of my faves. I like that a lot. How did you get 360? Teach me. I think I'm going to bike home today and smoke one of these on the way home. That is bespoke. But you need a bike with a really big front wheel.

Something's got a hold on me. The huge front wheel and the back wheel that's like this super tiny. There's a guy that live streams himself doing that and he'll come up to intersection and be like, brother, brother, brother, you mind if I lean on you? Yeah, I've seen that. You can't stop. You can't like, how do you even dismount a bike like that? I don't know.

Did you guys ever have bikes when you were younger that had the, it was the back break? Like instead of the squeeze, you would pedal backwards. Yeah. I liked that way more than the squeeze. Why? You could drift. Way easier to drift. Yeah, but sometimes when I'm coasting, I like to kind of just let the feet go backwards.

Yeah, that is true. That is true. You hear that sound, you know, that... Yeah, yeah, I like that too. Like I'm casting. But I did like the... Because you could really burn out with the back break. Yeah, you could. Just slam on it.

Wait, what do you mean? What's the move? You just slam a back break and just keep on... What do you mean burnout? Yeah, you skid through your driveway. He means skid, not burn out. Burnout is when you accelerate. Well, I would have a technique of back and front pumping, kind of rotating of the two.

You're just trying to make this work. It doesn't make sense. You just said the... wrong thing. It's fine. No, no, I didn't. I didn't. It's just fine. I know, I knew exactly what you meant. I did the same thing. I had a long dirt driveway. Look, you clearly haven't burnt out the way that I have. That's fine. I would rut out. You don't got to make me feel dumb because you don't know how to burn out properly. I was trying to help. I was trying to help you out of that hole. It's not a hole. I mean, imagine smoke flying up from under my tires as I'd pump as I pump

the back break. It's more of a tap. You're peddling somehow against a brake? It's a break and a pump. One side is breaking. The other one is pumping. Yes, exactly. Finally, you guys are understanding.

I understand now. I'll tell you what, the, the, I showed you guys some of the pictures from the flight over there, though. That virgin, that virgin is nasty. Is this one there? This is insane. It's paper. Rip it, rip it.

Oh, it's literally fully paper. Rip it. Like, oh, no. A little bit of a solid stitching there, but it literally is all paper. Like, this is fully paper outside of the zipper. I don't know. Virgin's just cutting corners. It's so weird.

I had them in, I've never flown it, but I held them in high regard because of Richard Branson's such a cool dude. Is that the same as the hotels? Yeah. Yeah. Same as the hotels. And he is an island with only adults allowed.

Like the Obama's go hang out with them. The Obama's. On jet skis and stuff. you know and he's cool but his airplanes suck ass his airplanes are dumb bullshit I think he's making money do you think I mean he's just jamming people in there like cattle

yeah exactly somebody was in my seat and I know we're sharing and so we had to get fucking super skinny next to each other it's called the coffin seats and you're literally just facing the rest of the people on the plane I'd never seen anything like it it's so brutal I was just looking at everybody

it was so fucking uncomfortable Did you sleep at all? No. It was like a morning flight. You really can't. And it's like old guys like getting comfortable, which is like a very vulnerable thing. Oh yeah. Like an old man like curling up.

Yeah, yeah. You don't want to see that. You never want to see a guy with both of his knees touching looking at you. Reading a newspaper. The virgin coffin seats. These are much nicer than what I was dealing with. So you didn't sleep at all. It was a morning flight.

That's brutal. Yeah, it was nasty. The coffin? It looks like the cults that killed themselves. Just the black Nike sticking out. Save the head of it. It looks like a plane that's on its way back from a disaster. Like a horrible, horrible ground zero of an epidemic.

It's studying them like. It's like American gangster. They're like smuggling cocaine in the bodies. of the people who came back on the Virgin flights. Going seatbelt over the sheets is crazy. Yeah. There was a seatbelt. There's like a little island for you to put your feet on.

And there was a seatbelt for my ankles. Oh, yeah. I don't like that at all. I don't like that. I don't like that. I hate that. I mean, as if my ankles were going to be like flailing during turbulence.

Like fucking Woody from Toy Story. Feels like that's got to be more dangerous than just no seatbelt. Like if you were... If we're barrel rolling, my top seatbelt comes off and I'm just dangling like a back. From the ceiling. My feet are fucking strapped in. Yeah. That's terrible.

I mean, that's what would happen. It would be the bottom feet hooked in. Someone's trying to saw you out of the seatbelt. Get him out. It was fucking the weirdest flying experience I've ever had. Gosh. Well, how was London? It's a lovely, beautiful city.

Tough loss. Oh, my God. That's one of the most insane endings I've ever. seen. Yeah, it was a really crazy ending. I mean, why didn't they just kick it out of bounds? Makes you wonder. You think that they're trying that the fix was in? I think the fix has been in all year from being frank. I mean, you've been, you've known. So, so break it down to me. Yeah, tell me. It's just not looking right this year. It's not adding up to me. Really? I'm seeing a lot of plays that just aren't really making sense. They're leaving meat on the bone. They're leaving, they're

leaving meat on the bone. People aren't scoring that should be scoring. Right. People are getting pulled out of every game. It's just not the Patriots are good, which they shouldn't be. Right. It should be bad. So craft's probably paying someone. I don't know. That's just what I've gathered. Well, who I mean, connect the dots for me because I feel like you're seeing

something I'm not. You guys clearly didn't pay enough money and that's why you saw. I mean, I can sum it up for you easily. You guys probably missed a do or something and now that's why Jackson Tarts not playing the rest of the year. Yeah, but the Giants somehow continue to have success against all odds.

Yeah. And people are talking about them as if they're a good team. It's like, according to what? I don't know. They had one good win against the Cowboys when Jackson Dart was playing. That is the only true, impressive win that the Giants have.

Everything else is like a comedy of errors that somehow remarkably results in them. Did they win this week? They stole a tie. They tied. Oh yeah. Yeah. Who did they play?

The fucking commanders with the worst clock management in the history of the game. That was that again, what the fuck was that? That's what I'm saying. I think the giants are on the other side of it. Patriots side. They're getting the dues paid. Yeah, they're getting on, they paid. You think, so you think the giants are.

Giants and Patriots paid. Yeah. I completely agree. So it's like even, they couldn't do anything about the Jackson Dart thing, but since they paid, they're going to like, okay, we'll get you through. Jackson, I saw Jackson Dart this morning running on the water. Yeah. Down by, I was literally on the water like Jesus.

Yeah. Sprinting. It doesn't look like he's injured at all. He's wearing inflatable shoes. I think they paid after Jackson got injured. That's what happened. They were like, oh, fuck, we had big hopes for this year. We have a lot of people, a lot of investors investing in our success.

We can't hit the under on our wins. So we'll pay. I mean, I think that's really what's going down. Goodell. The Jade and Daniels thing was actually shocking. That was kind of the nail in the coffin for me. What about it? Rigged.

What about it? What happened? What happened? Why did they let the clock run so much? Oh, at the last play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. That was dumb as hell. That was aggressively dumb. And some of the players on the team aren't even in on it.

I saw Sam Cosmy throwing his helmet, pissed. He doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't know what's going on. It's just a pawn. It's so shitty to be a pawn. Be a chess master. When I was at the game, I was having a good time. And then I saw, like, towards the last drive, like,

someone like two rows ahead of me a jaguars fan like was like taking a picture of me oh no like filming me or something like that and then he was like roan big fan and then we hit the field goal and uh then they marched down and in eight seconds against all odds 97% win percentage or likelihood scored and uh they won the game and i had and he was just like looking at me and i had to instead of being like furious, I just had to be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's how the cookie crumbles.

Because I'm being perceived. I'm being like, looked at in my like most vulnerable moment when I just want to be a spaz and be like, what the fuck I got to happen. Yeah. You got to be like,

oh, well, you win some, you lose some. Well, at least I'm here with my family. I just have fun with my family. Fucker, like crushing a beer in my hand. Yeah.

It's just, uh, you want to be at home for a terrible moment like that. Definitely. So you can be nasty to your family. or something like that. Yeah, take it out on the kids. Yeah, not like looked at, not like filmed to see if you're a good sport.

Yeah, not at all. Obviously not. It seemed like there was a shit ton of Eagles fans there. It was insane. Yeah. It was like a pilgrimage. It was like the Hajj. Which is surprising because it's the Jags home field.

Yeah, the Jags don't have it like that though. No. Eagles fans are set up on the coast. Yeah, they don't have any fans. Not in London. I got to tell you, something about Trevor Lawrence doesn't sit right with me. I think that's a common opinion. When he's talking in a post game, I'm like, did you get face swapped?

It is a little weird. Something about his face doesn't quite match his body. Someone's wearing him. Yeah. It does kind of have that body. And his voice doesn't really fit what I'm seeing. You know what I really think it is? I think he just needs to cut his hair.

No, no, no, no. His face would not withstand a short haircut. No, I think if he had like a Mohawk, I think he should go Mohawk, to be honest. It's so bizarre. I think he needs to have like much, much heavier eyebrows. I think he needs to have eyebrows like Eugene Levy. That could be it. He doesn't really have eyebrows.

I think he needs to get an eyebrow transplant. I mean, are the Jags good? Yes. I think so. The Jags and the Rams are good. So those two losses really don't mean anything. He also be back on track this week. Panthers coming off of a bye.

Hey, you know, that one's going to be just down. devastating. It's going to be so bad. Because that might be like an actual blowout. We play the Panthers coming off a by. Then we play, I think, the Cowboys Monday night. And then we play the Giants coming off a by. And the commanders coming off a by.

And like teams coming off a by are like 17 and 3. Everybody wins off a buy. We're about to see the Eagles at 2 and fucking 8 or something like that. It's going to be ugly. I mean, I think the Panthers are pretty good. Juba. Yeah, they are. Chubba's him.

so he's going to fuck you guys up. Sequin, not at practice today. I already got that notification. So you got both them on your fantasy squad, so I don't know what you're worried about. Well, Sequin's not going to play. I was at this bar in this 1859 bar, whatever. And I just finished a fat meal of fucking fish and chips with my family.

And I was so, fish and chips, first of all, is fucking funnel cake. It's really heavy. It's so heavy. Yeah, it's not. like a light meal at all. Fish and chips and beers is like you're having 3,000 calories. Yeah, it's a lot. That's like two days worth of eating. A lot of brown. It's just brown and yellow. And they're like, oh, we have mushy peas to go with it in like a thimble.

Did you get the curry sauce or whatever? Your brown sauce? No, it's like green. What is with the brown sauce? They like their brown sauce. Yeah, what the fuck is it? I actually don't mind the brown sauce. I don't know if I've had that. It's basically like a ketchup with vinegar in it. Yeah, it's like vegemite. Sounds great. It's like a weird ass. I like brown sauce. I do. I would definitely try some of that. I crushed this and as I was leaving, I ran into, uh, to Mike and he was like, which Mike Wallace. What? And he was just in that tavern as well. He's like, I'm with Kelsey. Jason Kelsey's upstairs. Holy shit. Jason and Kylie Kelsey are upstairs. And I went upstairs and I was like, Jason, what's up? And he's like, I heard what Sass has been saying

about me. Oh, no. Yeah. What did I say about him? You said that him and McAfee are bad guys. What? Yeah. I said that about Jason Kelsey. And he's, and he is not happy with it, with you specifically. First of all, there's no way Jason Kelsey has any idea who I am. Of course he does. And second of all.

He said he was a fan. No. He used to be a fan. No shot. Because I was definitely saying way worse things about him when he was on the Eagles than I am now. But he said he gets that's just the heat of debate. But now when you should be, he should be a neutral guy, a neutral party. Yeah.

You should be nice to him. Finally. Definitely not. And then I was, so Mike was like, after I just had a 3,000 calorie meal, he was like, dude, I have a 1030 reservation at Ambassador's Clubhouse. And I've been fucking talking to you guys about Ambassadors Clubhouse, dying to go to Ambassador's Clubhouse.

And so I just had another 3,000 calorie dinner just back to back. Oh my God. You went bang bang bang? That's crazy. Bang bang at Bass Club? I went to the Masters Clubhouse and just we ordered the menu. Yeah. I was in hell.

So did you go with your family or did you know? No. said you told your family to bounce. No, they had, they, they were already leaving. And we made, he just had two, two seats at Ambassador's Clubhouse. So it was just you and Mike? Yeah, I was just gripping the walls. The room was fucking spinning.

Dude. I was in fucking hell. The place is awesome, though. So good. Those chicken little like, wing, and they're not wings, but they're like, Pandori chicken bites or something. It was the tenderest chicken I've ever had. Yeah, that's all time.

We got to get, we have to get out there. Yeah. We have to. We'll make that happen. I would love to go to London. I've had Indian bros coming out of the woodwork being like, I can sort you out at Ambassadors Clubhouse in the U.S. We need that.

Let's do it. We need that. Yeah. A lot Indian bros in England. I loved it. I love to see it. That's where Moresh is from, I believe. Ambassador's Clubhouse?

Yes. Yep. No way, Marrish is born and raised. He's from England? He must have really waited a long time for the labor. Yeah. What the fuck? He's a kitchen baby.

Now, he's from London. What? Right? Yeah. Or his dad is? I don't know. When we were in, because he came to Birmingham with us. He crashed the car.

Yes, yes, yes. I know that. But like, I didn't know it was because he was indigenous to London. Oh, yeah. He was like, well, that was the whole, that was why he was so crazy that he was the one that crashed the car. Because he was like, I've been here so many times. I've driven here so many times. Yeah.

Born in a sink. Yeah. Think that he'd know. And then he drove head on into another car on a one month. mile straight road in the dark. I mean, they had to have seen the lights. Just coming right at them. Are you blaming the other people?

Oh, blaming Moresh. Yeah. Yeah, he had to have seen the lights. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was a completely straight road. So what was he thinking? I don't know. We're all wondering that.

And there's at every crosswalk, there's a sign on the ground that says, look left or like, look right. Oh, yeah. Because they're like, there's probably too many people getting smoked by double-deckers. That's true. Did you go to, what, Pickley? Is that what it's called? Pickadelly. Pickadelly?

I didn't pick a deli while I was out there. No. You didn't go to, you missed that whole area? It's pretty big part of London. Did you go to, well, that's their Times Square. It's missable. Did you go to Covent Garden? Yes.

Cool. I was charmed by that. Yeah. And then would you go to Buckingham Palace? I didn't go to Buckingham Palace, but the Churchill's War Room is, by the Westminster Abbey and the London Tower and everything like that. We were on the Strand. It was nice.

So you just hit the war room and ambassadors club? And the fucking pub and the fucking other Indian place I went to and the other fucking pub that I went to in the Eagles game. I didn't do enough for you? You had to get presents first. How do you not hit the palace? Bro, I don't bend knee to the royals. I don't have any respect for the royals.

The royals haven't done fucking anything. That's correct. So now you're talking shit about the country that you just visited. No, I respect the PM. I respect Churchill. Churchill was doing all the work during the war and the royals were fucking sipping tea, fucking... I'm pretty sure I got home from Japan and spent two hours doing exactly that. So... What? Talking shit about the country I had just been to.

That is true. I don't think we give good reviews of countries. You want me to suck off the royal family? I can't... I never knew that you were a royal guy. No, I'm not a royal guy. You obviously are. I would have stopped by the palace. That's all.

I'm not critiquing your trip. To bend the knee? All I'm saying is I would have paid respect. I'm not kissing the ring. I would have paid respect to the palace, but that's a personal thing. I'm paying respect to the greatest living person from the 20th century. Greatest person who lived in the 20th century. I respect that.

Churchill. I think Harry would have tried to do his stand-up jokes to the guards. Yeah. To see if you could get them. To go viral. Smile. That would have been good. That would have gone viral.

Get the tripod out. You guys cool if I set up my tripod here and my ring light. I've seen your social media recently. Yeah, shit's popping. Yeah, you're going viral. You would have gone so viral if you had gotten the guards to break. Oh, yeah. Big time?

That would have been an insane. I can't even stop looking at my present. I like it so much. I'm not even kidding you. I've such a fucking... I like things. Okay, guys, let's talk about Venmo. There's always one person who winds up running the entire...

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Oh, God. It's not even comparable. They have like a, well, the whole food area with the, like they have produce and a fish market

and all that stuff. It's like, Eataly meets birddorfs. And with like the sharper image inside. And every single like, yeah, every designer brand,

but also like mid-level stuff. Just like everything is so organized and stocked. Macy's looks like a fucking grocery store in Cuba.

Oh, yeah. Where it's like, yeah, we have mustard and, uh, baloney. Macy's doesn't have shit. Macy's is terrible. Terrible.

The worst. Good suits, though. I got my suit there. Great suit. They don't. No, no, they do. They do right off the rack. Did you? Oh, yeah. At that Macy's at 30. Yeah, yeah. Why? It's great suit. Worn it like a hundred times.

Still fits. Perfect. It fits like a glove. What color is it? It's like a dark blue slash red. It's like striped. It's like checkers. almost. Is red? It's like a Herbrook suit. Really?

No. But it's like a pattern, you know? Like some Orderon's maybe not as intense of a pattern. Actually, it's very similar. It's what it's red and blue. Cool. I don't think this is that intense. But like if you saw it from a distance, you'd be like, oh, that's blue.

But then if you got closer, you're like, am I seeing a hint of red there? Uh-huh. And then you could wear a red tie. I typically wear a blue tie, but I could mix in a red for sure. Tone down the red? Toned it down a little bit. Do you regret the red? kind of get it under control.

It's not like red, red. You're the one playing up the red part. If you zoomed in on the color, it's red. But it's not like. If I'm standing close to you, it's red. No, no. If you're standing close to me, it's still a dominant blue.

You said, you just said. I said hints of red. You said if I was far away, I would think it was blue. If I was close to you, I'd say, is that red? No, you'd say,

is there a hint of red in there. Yeah, yeah. It's like little details of red. Nothing crazy. I'm going to have to see it. I'm not in by a red suit. I'm picturing. Bright red. I'm not walking around in the

fucking Target bag. I'm picturing you looking like Jake from State Farm at the wedding. No, no. Not at all. No, it's, it's a... You said Herb Brooks. Yeah, I was kidding. Because it is a pattern, but it's not like, it's not Her Brooks. Yeah. I wish I had her brook suit. Wait, I'm not even thinking of the right guy. I'm thinking of the NBA announcer who passed away. Her Brooks is the coach of the 1980 Olympic team. Yeah, did he wear red suits? No, he wore

like, crazy patterned suits. Oh. Like super checkered. Him and Craigseger kind of have a similar look and kind of feel. Yeah. Yeah. This is Harry right here. He does wear suits similar to that.

Look up her Brooks, her brook suits. That's cool. He wears some solid suits. I feel like I have so many good things I want to tell you guys. Tell us, yeah. Oh my God. Well,

I don't want to finish. I don't want to step up there. I really had no overarching, like, story. I was like racking my brain for narratives, but I just had like a nice time with my family. That's awesome. There's no, I should say I hated it. I should say it sucked.

No, I did that and people were upset. Okay. Well, I hated it and it sucked. How was your guys' time? Yeah, I mean, I started watching a movie last night that I have never seen, and I don't really know how I haven't seen it. What's it called? The Deer Hunter.

Oh, yeah. A classic. A Western Pennsylvania classic. Guys. I've never actually seen that movie. Isn't it like three hours long? It's amazing. It's three hours and three minutes.

Harry, this is it. Oh, I know the movie. I've never watched it because I know it's super depressing. You will love this more than any movie you've seen in a long, long time. I'm very familiar with it. I am below, I'm only halfway through. Yeah. Did you get to the, did you get to the second act?

Well, it's pretty depressing. We all know. Are you still in Western Pennsylvania? No, no, no. Okay. I've seen the, meow! I've seen it. And I had seen that scene before on YouTube or whatever.

Yeah. But with the context... With the context of it all, yeah. It's... I mean, that's amazing. But, like, obviously, Robert De Niro has such an amazing library of movies where he plays some of the most badass, incredible people ever, right? A lot of his roles.

It's like, holy shit, that guy's fucking terrifying or the man or whatever. Meet the parents. Raging Bulls. Holiday. Little Fockers. All right. Let's, don't do that.

You own a red suit, you fucking weirdo. No, but I think only having watched the first half, I think this might be his most badass role. It's pretty fucking insane.

And I mean, you've got to finish it. I'm going to. Yeah, you've got to see the end of it. The first 20 minutes when they're just working in the steel mill and there's fire everywhere is terrifying.

I don't know that I had ever really pictured the inner workings of a steel mill and how much danger there really is. Maybe they've improved the conditions since then. But on top of that, you know, the way that they build the camaraderie of the friend group and Christopher Walken is amazing and like super handsome too. I don't know. just the whole feel of it. I'm like really, you know, so into this movie that I had to stop it halfway through and go to bed.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it. I was with some. There's a long movie, though. I was with some Jensers when I was in South Carolina. And I brought up this movie just as a touchstone conversation piece for people from Pittsburgh. And they're convinced that the hunting scenes aren't shot in, in Western Pennsylvania. They're like, we don't have nothing like that. It looks like the Alps.

That was a little. Weirdered out by that too. Can we look up where the deer hunter? Where did they shoot the hunting? I was kind of like there, that is way too much of a glacier to be in fucking Pennsylvania. These aren't Pennsylvania, but I mean,

there are six scenes and John Cazali, like his fucking Washington State. Washington State near British Columbia border. I guess that makes a little bit more sense, but why not to shoot it in PA? I don't know. It's a disrespectful. Yeah.

Yeah. John Cazali has the best fucking, he has like eight movies and, like four of them are the best movies of all time. What else has he done? The Godfather. Oh. Godfather 2.

John who? Kazali, the dude with the monster forehead. Is he an actor? Yes. Oh, okay. He's the third guy. He's the third guy. He's the guy who gets like brain dead in the rat trap.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stevie. Yeah. It's a harrowing. Look at that fucking filmography. The conversation, like the deer hunter, the godfather. home wake. And that's it. And that's like all he did. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's not Stevie. That's, um, he didn't do little Fokkers. I don't think it's Stevie. That's Arianna Grande you're thinking of.

What's that one called? The new one? Like Falker and Law or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fucker in law. Fuck you. Falker in law. It's going to be a banger. There's no doubt about it. They were pumping that at the, at the Odyssey. I'm locked in to see the Odyssey and I got fucking Ariana Grande. I mean, meet the fuckers might be a top movie. In terms of like the franchise? Do you mean Meet the parents? Meet the parents.

Meet the fuckers. They're all good. Meet the parents is the best one. No, they're all incredible. Works of art. No. I love those movies. They're so rewatchable.

I'll just shut my mouth on this one. You don't like them? I like actively am uncomfortable watching. Oh, because you don't like Ben Stiller. I just, I just think that like... I forgot about that. You have like a personal beef with Ben Stiller.

No, it's not about... I think that these movies, like calamitous movies, like movies where everything goes wrong and like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The main character is so misunderstood are just like... That's what you said about Ben Stiller originally. Yeah, and that was your original date on him. And it's about this movie.

There's an AI. description of my but I yeah I just I think that it's just to me that that that's I don't like it's the same reason I don't like like Christmas vacation movies like that that whole genre of movies

like oh like the Chevy Chase like family vacation movies like National Ampoon No no those two like the National Ampoon's Christmas vacation Yes You don't like that movie? No I think where everything just goes wrong for the family I think that that shit is

just like, you might have, you might hate joy. That is not joy. You might hate laughter. You might hate laughter with close friends and family. I can't believe everything went wrong. When he cuts open the turkey and it shoots out air. What? It's hilarious.

When he's driving the car and he ends up under the 18 wheeler. Or the grandmother's dead in the backseat for days. Yeah. Great movie. Rohn, I have a question. Does this policy of just everything going wrong? Does that extend to say disaster movies? No, like a comedy, like a comedy of errors.

Oh, I see. Like a calamitous like series of events. You know like dumb and dumber? Well, I don't think everything goes wrong there. I think that they're like blissfully unaware. They don't feel bad throughout the entire movie because like, oh, like, I wish people would understand. Like, no, like I didn't want this to happen.

Like, it's not like, they're just like dumb guys. Like, that's a significantly different premise. They do drive the wrong way, though, for all that. time. Yeah, they make mistakes, but also things break in their favor. It's not like everything goes wrong. He takes the laxatives accidentally. Shits his pants in the broken toilet.

He takes the laxatives because he's been tricked by. Yes, yes, yes. But he shits in the toilet and it's broken and then he has to throw it out the window. No, he doesn't throw it out the window. She just leaves. I thought he threw it out the window. You haven't seen this moving along. These guys are like dumb guys who luck into extraordinary circumstances

at sometimes. It's true. It is true. It's a different. They're like more like Mr. Magoo. Like I enjoy like a Mr. Magoo type of thing. I'm not familiar. Or like Mr. Bean. He,

I think he comes out and addresses someone else. Mary has to leave. You know what? It doesn't fucking matter. She gets the call from Lloyd. I have no idea. I don't know. That he's got her briefcase and so she has to go.

And then he comes out of the, I think he comes out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles and like apologizes. And no one's there. He, maybe he does it to a housekeeper. Or a, family member, I can't quite remember.

Interesting. He definitely doesn't throw it out the window. It's wet diarrhea. How do you even do that? You take a hose and siphon it? Like, I was able to steal gas? That's what I was wondering when I watched it. You had better time that.

Yeah, you've got to get off the hose fast. Yeah. Yeah, that would be tough. People will probably lampoon me for having this take, but this is just my opinion. Yeah, yeah, of course. These are the movies that I just do not enjoy watching. And we respect to that. It doesn't seem like you do.

I know, I do. we'll never watch Meet the Fokers together and that's okay and that's okay I'll never watch it with anyone What if you grow My bloodline will never see it What if your kids grow up in there like?

No one with my last name Will ever watch these movies What about night at the museum That's not the same thing at all No it's Ben Stiller My problem isn't with Ben Stiller That was a Sixers Knicks thing Fans can't talk shit to about

To other fans Well you took it to a personal level You critiqued his art Yeah fans are just talking shit like their pants. That would be like if I was mad at Jalen Hertz and I was like also you're bad at drawing. That would be funny. It would be nasty. What didn't you? People probably say shit like that when like people were like Tom Brady,

you kissed your son on the mouth like for that. That's what all. That's despicable. Why? Nasty behavior. I would never say that to Tom Brady and I would never say that about Jalen Heard's. What did you say about Mike Rable, your own coach two weeks ago? That he's a bad person. Yeah.

Yeah, but that's... You critiqued his art. That is true. The art of lovemaking. I know you got me. You did get me there. But you reverse course on that after they beat the bells. And I reverse course on Stiller.

I said, I'm sorry. He said, thanks or something like that. First, I've never heard the apology. It was on Twitter. We twittered back and forth. It's all fucking there. I like that. I like reconciliation between.

It was a nice reconciliation. Were you shocked when he replied? Were you like, I didn't think he was ever going to see this? I was drunk when I tweeted. I was like drunk and assesionion. angry about my team losing, so I rage tweeted something, not like recognizing that I, like, even had a following. I was just like, consider myself just a random spas fan. You wouldn't have to get to take the Twitter away from you. I was a Utah spas. I was just fucking

going ham on the keyboard. It happens. It happens. I think that that it's very human of me. I agree. I agree. You know, are not a fan of Ben Stiller. I'll take back your gift, bro. He's one of my He's one of my favorites personally. I wonder why. We can, whoa, what is that supposed to mean? Because he's Jewish. Whoa. What?

What? Well, that's why you hate him. You told me that's why you don't like him. Why the fuck would you say that? I said that's why I don't like Eugene Levy's kit. Eugene Levy's kit is the one who let the fuse on, on the Shane stuff. He did?

Oh yeah, yeah, he is. That, yeah. That what? He set the tone. He set the tone. What? I've got like people like from home texting maybe and like what's going to happen with Shane.

I don't think anything. I think he'll make twice as much money next year. Yeah. I think he'll continue to be probably the best comedian in the world. Yeah, definitely. I just don't think like I don't think. I think things are heading back to like a bad, like we're going back. Like everything's like the everything swung so right and now everything's going back.

Like people are getting mad about jokes again. People are. I don't know. I mean, but this just won't matter. Like this one doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't. It's kind of like what Dave said where he's like, the people who like me are going to like me,

the people who don't or not. And there's nothing I can do to change anyone. mind. That's just the way it is. And then like the 80% of the people that are in the middle aren't really going to be swung one way or another because they don't care that much. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't really get how anyone could care. Like who gives a fuck. Yeah, that part of it. It is weird because it's like the, no one watches SNL. Dude, you know what's something that they get, they watch it to get mad at something. Here's something that's funny. So for some reason, this didn't even occur to me, but my whole social

media feed over the last couple of days has been women defending Shane. Oh, really? Mine was not that. It's been women being like, what, we can't take jokes now? We do look like horrors at the gym. Like, but that's okay. Like blah, blah, blah. And I was, I, I, I, I, it occurred to me today that like, that, like, that is Instagram, knowing my brain so fucking well where it's like if we had just fed you men or comedians being like how can you be mad at Shane Gillis for saying that he's fine

that wouldn't have changed my mind that's just me in an echo chamber but to really convince me that I'm right in my view I needed women yeah defending him to really be like see yeah see this is the right

there's even rational ones Yeah. Like this is people that should have the opposite point of view and don't. Therefore, my echo chamber is complete. Yeah, these women are woke 3.0. I am truly in a self-affirming cycle as a result of this. And I sent one of them to a friend of mine without even thinking about it because the rant was convincing to me. Yeah. She was like, seriously, hot yoga mom is who you're going to just like what the way. woman's handle was or something like that. You said it to a girl? You think this is going to be conference? We were just like debating it a little bit. Not in a friendly banter.

Not in like a, both of us were pretty rational about it, I would say. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know what to say about that. I just, what's your, what is your algorithm been?

Nothing about it. Oh, God. On Instagram, but I don't really go on Instagram. Twitter has been all, that's my entire algorithm is that? But it's just every side of it. It's fucking people freaking out about it.

people saying it's not a big deal. I don't think it is a, I don't think it matters. I don't think it's. Did you guys watch his whole, the whole thing? The whole, uh, monologue. I feel like most people didn't watch the whole monologue. I feel like 99.9% of people talking about this didn't watch the whole monologue. Because he was a joke.

He's pretty self deprecating the entire time. Yeah. He was like so mean to himself. Yeah. Yeah. He's punching down. He thinks he's right just because he's a man. He was just calling himself bitch hips and he looked like a sweaty egg.

Yeah. whole time. He's like, I'm the one looking inappropriately because of the outfits. Look at me. This is, I mean, whatever. I don't even know. I also don't think you put a value judgment on the word whore, but that's another. No.

I just think it's so self-explanatory. Like, and if, like, people are mad about it, they're just looking for something to be mad about. Do you think that we can call women's, uh, Halloween costume slutty or they can call their Halloween costume slutty? I'm, I'm done referring to them. You're not. keep them out of my mouth

literally and figuratively. The safest place to be right now is gay. It's such a safe island because you can have the moral high ground and you never are at risk of being in the back. You're on every side. What about asexual? Oh, the enemy?

You do, it's a bad time to be gay. Are they asexual in Switzerland? No, he's saying neutrality. Oh. No dog in the fight. I'm not fucking anything. I see what you mean. I see what you mean. No, no. Bystander? Bystander. You're a bystander. I stand with the buys? Yeah, you stand with the buys. Okay, I can go both ways. You got to be something. You got to pick aside. Being asexual is like being like a registered independent.

Well, you can you register as an independent? Yes. Really? I think so, yeah. So funny. Because I try, I think I did, I registered. Yeah, that's what it is. I registered as an independent. and therefore could not vote in the Democratic primary or the Republican primary in the state of New York. Oh, wow. You can only vote in the general election, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. If you're a registered independent. You can't.

Yeah. So that's what it was. What else? Wait, I had another thing I wanted to talk to you about. I had something else that I was really excited. Oh, Harry. Okay. I wonder if you've seen this.

There is currently an AT&T commercial where- I probably seen it. It's a group of gamers that are all playing in like some kind of white empty room. Yeah, it's dark though. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of what I picture your bedroom booking. Right. Very well lit. My apartment.

By the screens. Five lamps. Your face is lit by the screen. Five lamps, three over headlights. Jesus. We're well lit. You interrogating in there? I can control all of them with my phone.

Okay. Or a button on my desk on. and also locks the door behind you. Oh, yeah, yeah. That would I need to get that. You ain't going nowhere. Get a padlock. All right.

But the point is that that commercial, the whole premise of it is that these kids are misunderstood by their parents and then all of a sudden like the parents come in, it's been organized, and the kids teach the parents gaming. And everyone has a great time. Yeah.

You see where I'm going with this. No. Teach. Francis how to game. That's it. Oh, there's nothing to teach. You already know how to play video games. You need to sit me down at your desk. Definitely not.

And we need to show it to me so that I can understand it. And then we can have that. But there's nothing to understand. You know how to play video games. Turn the lighting to a nice warm color and have him sit on your knee. You hold him around him and play the video game like this.

Think of me like a parent of yours that doesn't get it. Yeah, but that's not the case. And we are... My parents get it. We are... Well... A grandparent thing.

Let me just say this. They asked me to do this, okay? So I don't know... AT&T did. I didn't want to say it, but they asked me... Is this an AT&T read? I am... I am bridging the gap.

I come in peace. Okay? No, not welcome. You know how to play video games. You beat me in Halo. I don't know how to play your games. games, though. I don't know how to play counter strike. I don't know how to play counter strike. What about the new one about shooting black people in the hood? Oh, yeah. First of all,

that's not, that's not what it's about. It's not? You are a black guy shooting black people. Oh, okay. All right. It's still about that. Clean it up a little bit. That game. Hood warfare. Is phenomenal. Why? Just the gunplay is really smooth. It's fun to play on a mouse with a mouse and keyboard but it's is it it's probably pretty racist whoa we come up like that just like that hood warfare you guys are the first video about hood warfare that's crazy jesus christ who designed it definitely white dudes really yeah yeah trap star is the name of it but it's got to be white dudes you think it is why it could be Asians in which case isn't it racist definitely if Asians do it Yeah.

Stop Asian hate, bro. Yeah. Mikey Lee and Will. Mikey Lee and Will are the guy. Oh, they're from London. But Will also goes by Rashid. Yeah. Oh, wait.

No. That's the week. That can't be them. Is that them? Is that the man down? That makes more signs. I'm so distracted by how good I smell that I can't even finish a thought right now. I'm just happy.

Yeah, I'm so happy to satisfy. It's so nice. It's so nice to go on a trip and get gifts on the first day. So you're not scrambling on the last day to be like, what should I get? What should I get? Yeah, last minute. Last minute. It's out of the way.

I like to just get them down at the airport, Hudson News. On the way out. Yeah. A couple I heart London shirts. Throw him in the bag. Snow globe. Everyone's going to be happy. A pen that says London on it.

Yeah, maybe a chocolate bar from London. I mean, that's basically what you got. Yeah. Chocolate cigars. Chocolate cigars. But those are genuinely from Churchill's war. room. You know, Churchill painted. Yeah, I think I did know that.

Well, did you watch the Crown? No. Oh, it's great. Really? Oh, my God. Isn't it? How many seasons? Four or five? It's... I only watch the season where she dies. Die? Lady Die? Where Diana dies. That's what I meant. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why I called her die.

They called her. A little on the nose. That's what they called her. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Lady Diana, yeah. Yeah. But, but that, but, that season is pretty crazy. Well, that's probably the best season. But, I mean, not for nothing. The other seasons are beyond belief good.

I think it's one of the better shows ever made, top 10. But it's about the royal family. It's pretty solid. You realize just how fucked all their lives are. They're fucked. You can't live a normal life. They've just been trapped in this, like, duty. And everybody looks to them to be like, like, there was a part in the Churchill

war room where they're, Like there was like an old article about him and like somebody, one of the royals wanted to marry an American like cutie. And like all of the fucking parliament and all of England was just like, we don't want an American as our queen. That's fair. I think that's completely fair. No.

Why? If you're in the royal family in London, you have unlimited whatever you want. You're the king of literally an entire country. Just meet the demands and marry someone from. London. It's a figurehead position, right? Yeah.

So, like, it's all ceremonial. And other countries, I mean, like, there's a king in Holland. Yeah. But I'm pretty sure, you know, that they can marry whoever they want. And have you seen the women in America or the women in London? America has the whores. Like, America has all the good whores. Yeah.

That joke would have never flown on SNLUK. In Churchill's in the 1930s. But no, I mean, Yeah, if you're like, I don't know. So you're against Prince Harry? Marrying Megan Markle. I don't really care, but. It seems like you care.

If I'm on his family side, yes. Really? They have given him everything. He didn't have to do shit. They didn't give him anything. He was born into it. They got everything. They were all born into it.

So if you're born into it, you play by the rules. Play by the rules. You have unlimited everything. Just play by the rules. They can go to America and fuck whoever they want. They should, he should marry. He should marry someone from London. Snagletooth British woman with fucking,

two inches of makeup on her face I'm like, hello, I, Prince Harry. I think. I love to marry you. I think, I think Prince Harry could find himself. Lady Bethelda from Cambridge.

I think he could find himself an attractive lady from Lodding Tooth Palace. Yeah, exactly. That's all the, Ro, unfortunately, that's all of them. I mean, you just got to, you got to play by the rules. Like glowing orange with makeup. If someone was like, I'm going to give you a billion dollars,

but you got to marry someone from America. You wouldn't be like, Or he could just be like, I'll take the billion and still marry someone from America and like the aristocracy of England is going to have to deal with it because you can't actually stop me. Because this is all made up. That's ultimate shame. Yeah, but no, who actually gives a fuck? You're looking at them. Yeah, exactly.

You kiss the ring. I give a fuck. You go to Buckingham Palace. You watch the crown. I'm just saying. You love lady die. You do, bro. I'm just saying if that's the rule and you have all of this great.

great stuff in your life, just follow the rule. It's easy. That's not that crazy of the rules. You love the rules. The rules were deeper than that. Like what? Well, as you recall, they wanted him, they wanted Prince Charles to marry

Princess Diana. I don't. I don't recall. I'm not that tapped in. And then they ultimately then they got married and then they ended up not liking her and sort of ostracized her. And sort of ostracized her.

but they wouldn't let them divorce because that was against the Church of England and all these like ridiculous, outdated... Wasn't she fucking her riding instructor who looks a bit like Francis? Show some class, please. That's why Prince Harry looks... You just got back from their country.

I'm not bending the knee, bro. I think by virtue of the lessons... You have to be fucking your riding instructor. Yeah, you have to. Yeah, yeah. How is he going to teach you? otherwise. Is that one of their rules?

You're not using a Sibian. Anyway, the point is that, no, Charles was having, was in love with Camilla. Cabello? All of that was Sean Mendez's girlfriend.

Wrapped up in the fact that England has the worst tabloid sort of vigilance and erosion of privacy of any kind of Right? Because it's a gossipy tea-sipping.

Huh? I said they did then. Sure, they still do. That still got worse after. And then only after like the, the, all of Rupert Murdoch's place, uh, news outlets were sued or wherever. Hmm. Did they, did they stop?

Sort of put some like regulations in place to have to stop like phone tapping and shit. Yeah. Because Peter Thiel was gay or something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We can put all the stories together. Yeah. We can get them all linked up.

It all fits perfectly. All of this was to say, though, that in the crown, why did you... Churchill or... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said he was a painter. So there's a great scene early, early on where they commission a painting of Churchill. And this artist comes in and does it. It's a portrait and he paints it.

And it's in Churchill's later years of life. And he finally reveals it and Churchill hates it. because he looks so old in the portrait. And he destroys it. Like throws it away, burns it, whatever. And they said at least in that episode that in the text after the episode, they were like, it is considered one of the great lost works of art ever. Damn.

That's brutal. But he's probably just like, I'm also a better artist than this. I'm not trying to look ugly as fuck. I'm already like born into being a fat old British baby. Yeah. You ever listen to his actual speeches? You ever listen to my dad is obsessed with Churchill, as I'm sure a lot of dads are.

And we used, he would go through phases where he, I remember he got like a six CD set of Churchill's speeches. And we would listen to him. Yeah. To him on the way to fucking school, as if that was going to rally me. Yeah, I'm young.

I'm just freaking in France. I mean, you know, he's talking about like, we shall fight them in the beaches. We shall fight them on the land. Tomorrow it's a new dawn. And I'm like, Dad, I have a geometry quiz today. None of this is really like holding any water. No, no. For me.

Churchill is pretty hard to digest when you're like eight years old. I didn't get it. I didn't have the, what he's talking about. Yeah, you don't have the appreciation for it. You also don't realize the stakes where it's like London's being bombed. Like they're doing like. genocide on London. Yeah, you really have, yeah, if you don't know any of the stuff that's happening around

the speeches. Yeah. It's just words. Like, I don't think I was really acutely aware how much they were bombing London. Oh, yeah. People were dying at the time in London for years. They were just bombing the shit out of them. All right.

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We know that he was just crushing like whiskey all fucking day. And then he just had a bowl next to his bed for when he had to piss and shit. in the middle of the night. Yeah, it's just shitting in a fucking porcelain bowl. I'm sure somebody else was emptying it. Right. Imagine. Out the window.

Probably. Yeah. That's what they used to do. But he's in a basement. So it's like, you have to like hand it up to dump it out the window. That's brutal. Wow. It's brutal.

Imagine this like, forgive me, but like this splatty ass fucking. It's nasty. Diarrhea. Yeah. Whiskey shits. The whiskey shits. Yeah. Churchill had.

Do you know that in Victorian England, there was a, the. etiquette of walking with a woman on the street was that the men would walk closer to the street and the women would walk closer to the building. Do you know why that was? So that they wouldn't get hit by car? That's a decent thought. But it was actually because people would be emptying their bedpans out into the street from the upper windows. And it was thought that if you stood closer to the wall, that it would pass over your head and hit the man. Jesus. And the women were protected from flying excrement and piss.

I mean, that would be a devastating just. Especially with how much suede I wear. Yeah. Because I don't waterproof all of it. With a bedpan. Oh, my God. Or like it's just bedpan after bedpan going down the street. I mean, yeah, there's someone that probably got hit with like four in a row.

Yeah. Yeah. Taking like an early walk. Benny bedpans. Yeah. Yeah. Here he comes. Everybody get ready.

I'm surprised. surprise bedpans aren't more, aren't more popular now. Hospitals love them. Yeah, yeah, of course, but I'm saying just like has every, like, I could see, there's probably someone out there who's just Uber eats bedpan, just all day on repeat, you know, just get those dos toros and then just shit into a pan, slide it over to the left of you. New bedpan. Multiple bedpans. Like, you keep one fresh. Open up DoorDash, see what they got. They should make disposable.

bedpans. We should get Nikki numbers on this. You could just slide the top over a bedpan and chuck it up the... That would be awesome. Like a paper bedpan? Yeah. We're just like cheap plastic or something like that. Microplastic bedpan. Yeah, yeah, that could work. Dude, I had this conversation with my... Like a fruit in. Like a fruit container.

Keep fruit as the centerpiece in the bedpan. Yeah, yeah. Then throw the fruit out when you need the bedpan. I mean, that would be great. If I could wake up in the morning and just shit and piss all over myself and not have to get up for a couple more hours. I would love that. I just wear a diaper. You can get an adult diaper.

No, I need a metal pan. You want the sound. Can you put up a chamber pot? I wonder if that's the same. Is that the same thing? I would have bet. Is that like a nicer? Holy shit.

Things looks like a torture. Whoa, is there a shit in that one? Is that just part of it? Is that the family crest in their chamber? This is what Churchill's look more like. I mean, these are like. Why do they all have that at the bottom? Because you want it to be nice

You want a poor chamber pot You want your like house guests coming over And shitting in something nasty I don't want my chamber pot to have decor in it The family crest Yeah I don't want a picture of my grandmother in my chamber pot A frog

A metal frog in this chamber pot Built in Are those water stains? Maybe that was like a thing You aim for the frog I don't know Yeah it's like I'm gonna go shit on the frog

diminishes the splashback. A whimsical, decorative surprise designed to appear at the bottom of the pot when the pot was emptied. A surprise. Oh, okay. Oh, a frog. So it was decor. It was whimsical decor.

Whimsical? Yeah. Great. Let's get this one. It's full of whimsy. You aim that at folk humor. You were supposed to aim at the frog. Oh, how fun.

Man, it must have been way easier to keep people like entertained back then. Oh, shit, the frog. I just saw the frog again when I was emptying the shit out of the bedpan. I threw my shit this morning. That thing always gets a good laugh out of me. There's some presents, but they're just just some more presents.

Oh, great. Well, these aren't from me. These are from fans. So this is a guy. Fances. Really nice guy named Frank, who he runs a store on e-bubes. bay. And he found this and he really thought it would be good for Harry.

And I kind of agree. So hand that over to Harry. I'll take this. What is it? I'll see. You take a look at it? You're not going to like this. Just do it just clear it.

Make sure there's no bombs or anything in it. Should I taste it? I've got to taste all of the president's soup to make sure he's not poison. Is that still a job? I don't know. That actually is very nice. It might be a little bit too bright for you though, brother. Oh.

This is cool. That shade of blue. Ooh, a frequent flyer. That actually might go good with your suit. Pull that out. Very protected. Just pull it. Well, it's all wrapped around this thing.

Okay. This is very nice. Frequint. That's got you written all over it. I'll definitely wear this. That is absolutely. Would you just try it on really quick? Maybe come the summertime.

I'm going to clean it first. No, you're not. You got to wash that first. Some critters crawling around inside. That might be certified pre-owned. Some whimsical critters. You also sent us a series of photographs of different fighter planes, which is pretty cool. Photographs of us in our houses.

That's it for you, Ron. That's your present. Here's Ron walking as kids. My wife with who? Here's Francis Upstate. That's Frank's Variety Vault on eBay. Shout out Frank. Shout out Frank.

This feels like he took these and he just didn't want them around his house anymore. I wonder. He's like, here, clog up your studio with these. I don't want to clog up my house with this. I don't know what this is. Oh, and there's a, there's a log. Oh, that's cool. Here, here, sass.

Was that a, oh, murder in Paris, 68. Wow, I don't even know who this is from. This is a book, Murder in Paris. 68, A true story of death and glamour, Edward Chisholm. That's probably sent from Edward Chisholm. Yeah, that might be Chisholms.

Chishol might have sent that. Is Chisholm a wide receiver for the Patriots? Or is he the owner of the Celtics? He's, uh, you're thinking jazz Chisholm. The owner of the Celtics plays for the Patriots, which is really weird. Oh, he's the slot receiver. Yeah, he's a guy who got elevator from the practice squad. No, he's actually never been on the track squad.

An elevator guy. He got in trouble for that. too. Never been on the practice squad. How nice are these heritage bags even? Oh, unbelievable. I don't know who that book is from, but thank you. It's from Chisholm.

I really appreciate it. It's from the wide out. Oh, here's a letter. Here we go. Perfect. I should have looked a little bit harder. These photos are cool. If anyone's into fighter jets,

check them out. Yeah, what are we going to do with those photos? Hang every one of them up. Yeah. I'll probably put them in a, album and take them home with me. Oh, here we go. My dearest Francis.

Dear Francis, if you loved London falling, you should love this one as well. London falling. It's not that movie, right? From Alexander. London falling, you're thinking of London has fallen. Yeah, you're not talking about that. That's one of the worst things ever made. Yeah, that wasn't great.

But the first one was good. No, you got to rewatch it. I'll impetus fall. I know it won't stand up. When I saw it, I loved it. I completely agree. When I saw it, I liked it. And then if you rewatch it, you'll be like,

Like this is the worst thing ever made. Far worse was the one that Jamie Fox did that came out like three weeks later. White House Down? The White House Down is the one with is the one with Gerard Butler. That's, oh no, you're right. White House Town and Olympus has fallen are they're both unbelievably bad. No, White House Down is way worse. Olympus has fallen.

If you watch it again, the CGI in it is insane. Yeah, it's just they didn't have the budget or the technology. It was like they had no budget. But like, because like they, they CGI. They did well enough to make three more. That's true. They, they, they, but they see GI, I in things that just exist. Olympus is back.

Like they, like the, the Washington monument, there's a scene where they're, where they're doing like a helicopter over it. Well, they knock it over, which again, you probably can't do that. No, no, obviously. I'm saying they show. They didn't actually knock over the Washington. No, no. So it's fake. But there's a part where they show it and it's fake and you're like, why wouldn't they have just gotten footage of it?

Why wouldn't they just send a camera guy out there to just take a video of the monument? Yeah, I don't know. I liked it. And you know what? I'll say that I still like it. That's a bad. Jerry Butler is a badass mofo. He is.

He is. And great guy. That one made the other one look ridiculously bad. Yeah, I wonder why they both came out so close to each other. It's like when... Hollywood's always doing that bullshit. No strings attached. Friends with Benefits came out very close.

They never saw no strings attached. Oh, yeah, that other magic one with Edward Norton. Yeah. There was a... Illusionist. Yeah, there's prestige the illusionist. Interstellar. What's the illusionist?

Is that the one where he's like... It's like way older? Or no. No, that's... Edward Norton. Eddie Norton and... Scarjo. That's the illusionist. And they're like a duo. And Bail is in that one, right?

No, he's not in that one. That's prestige. Isn't Bail in another magic movie on top of the prestige? Magic Mike. Yes. Now you see me. Now you see me eight. Now you see me's great. Can you believe they keep on making now you see me's though? People are watching them. Yeah. They are doing. At some point you won't be able to see me. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. And then it'll be over. Yeah. Now you don't. see me. I had such a taste for watching some kind of London movie on the way back, on the flight back,

and all I could find was some Harry Potter flicks. I watched them, though. That scratches the itch. It scratch the itch for me for sure. Yeah, which ones you watch? Five and six. Heavy hitters. I look for the ones that were most filmed in London.

That's Order of the Phoenix and Half Blood Prince. For me, it's usually two and three. Personally. I mean, four is the best. Gobble to Fire. That's the best book and the best movie. I think two was always my favorite Was that?

Chamber of Secrets I don't know You like Prisoner of Ascompan Yes that's three That's three Prisoner of Ascompan's a banger Yeah that's a good one That was one of the best books too

I think three and four were the two best books I got to rewatch these Are you going to watch the HBO show about them? I actually think it's going to end up being pretty good To be honest It's definitely going to be good So yeah I probably will watch it And they're doing a crossover with Harry Potter and girls.

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. That's going to be the Harry Potter cast and the cast of girls. Very vagina. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be fun. Did you see that they're coming back, that girls and entourage are coming back?

Are they? Recession indicator. Yeah, it really is. Big time? Yeah. The office is going to come back next. It did. What are you talking about?

Isn't it called the paper company or something? Yeah, yeah. But is it the same thing? It's, yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like Oscar's still in it Oh shit That's gotta be so brutal To be the only one

The only one who said yes To the remake We're all going right Yeah This is gonna be great Get the gang back together You walk in and show up on set A lot of new guys

Yeah I watched the first episode of it And it was I saw a trailer for it It looked awful It was pretty grim They were calling girls hoars Yeah

It was just like It's just not It's just not comedy. No, that's not okay. That's just not okay. This is cool. We did well today, boys. A lot, big hole.

Thank you, Roan. Yeah, nothing like coming back with a... What are you going to do with that? Are you going to take it to the upfronts? This? Yeah. I am going... I have brought a backpack in.

I came in from upstate today. So is they're going to... How are you getting to the upfronts? Driving? No, probably subway or city bike. So you might have that at the upfronts, with you? I will.

Are you worried about the insecurity of the up fronts? Like, what if the guys from dude wipes want to dude swipe your fucking, if they try to take it, let's just put it this way, we are never doing reads again for them. That's you. Because I'm actually a big dew wipes fan personally.

Yeah, me too. I brought my dew wipes to London. I fill my bedpan with them. It's like a goddamn used tissue box. Does it say, Don't, don't, you can't flush them. Yeah. Do not throw your dude wipes in the street, please.

They do not break down. Yeah. That's why the guys walk on the outside. Yeah. They say don't flush any of those things down the toilet and I'm flushing them all down toilet. It looks like a ticker tape parade with dudes throwing their dude wipes. Where else am I going to put it? If I wipe my ass with something, it's going at the toilet.

I'm not putting it in the trash can. Bro, you go to a hotel in Mexico. They're like, put the regular toilet, put the single ply in the trash. trash can. Yeah, that's, what are you, you're just going to have shit all over your bathroom? Yes. Yeah. I'll flush it down the sink if I have to. It's going somewhere. Take it, yeah, take it to the ocean. Throw a spool in the ocean.

What's that in the trash? Oh, those are my wipes that I wiped my ass with. And there's shit on them. I keep them in the trash can next to the Diet Coke cans. Yeah. London's plumbing is probably like, predates. democracy. I do not give a fuck. I'm throwing the dude wipes down the aqueducts. I texted you, Rohn, and I don't even remember if this was to our group or not, but maybe it was just to you where I was like, I think I think I don't like travel. Yeah, you said you're going to stop. Someone pointed this out to me, and they were like, I don't think you like to travel.

And I was like, I never even thought of that. Everybody said, everybody likes to travel, or at least they say they do. I literally have never hated anything more than traveling. I don't even think that's true. I actually think you do like to go on trips. You like to go to Montana and you like to go to with your friends and stuff. Yeah, but I don't like traveling. I would much rather my friends just come to here. I wonder if the reason that I now, I think it's a combination of things, but I've finally come to realize that like the sort of ideal that I envision every time I think of a trip, like, my, my God, going to New Zealand, that's going to blow my mind. It's going to be perfect. It's going to be this. And it always kind of lets you down. A trip is just never going to meet the expectations.

Now I'm finally aware of that before I go on the trip. Yeah. I think you should just try traveling in America. I think I need to stop going anywhere. Yeah, but I think if you went somewhere in America, I would like, I think you're going on these trips that are 40-hour flights. Dude, in this, In the last, in the last like nine months, I went to New Zealand, France, and Japan. Yeah. On three separate trips. Yeah, those are all far as fuck. Like I work in fucking doctors without borders.

Yeah. You should just go to like fucking Idaho or some shit. Yeah, I think that's it. I think I'll just get rid of my passport. Yeah. And stay in America. There's a lot of great stuff to see in America. I know.

You could go to Alaska. My family, we used to drive everywhere when I was a kid. Well, have you been to... You used to do 25-hour road trips. Have you been to, like, the national parks? Have you been to... Yes, we did. We did a big trip out to the west.

And we drove around... Well, you should go again when you're in adults. It's better. I mean, you just said you don't like to travel, and now you're trying to sell him on traveling to beautiful places. Oh, I'm just saying when you're... I think Japan, if Japan was a two-hour flight away, I think you probably would have had a lot more fun in Japan.

That's a fact. time in Japan. I forgot to mention, by the way, speaking of bedpans, Roan, did you notice, like, the public toilets? Like, you're in the middle of the city, in the street, and you follow a sign for, like, a public restroom. You walk in, every toilet in the public restroom is one of the heated seat bidet toilets, automated. It's like a genius. Yeah. Like, you could, like, put a W-2 into the back as you're shitting and it will come out with your taxes. They don't have any, like, hole in the ground, pour-to-potty nightmare thing.

Yeah. It's like, oh, you have to go to the bathroom and you didn't account for it and you're in a rush. Right this way to the most comfortable toilet situation you've ever seen. The trains have really nice toilets. The toilets on Amtrak

are the same toilets you see in a fucking prison movie. Yeah, they're not good. Every toilet that I saw in the country, I did not experience one toilet that was not the one. with the built-in bidet and like automated. And you don't need dude wipes because they're washing your ass for you.

And it's not the bidet. Someone will come in and scrub you. Yeah, the bidet is, I mean, the bidet is pretty much a thing everywhere about here. Everyone's got the bidet. England didn't have the bidet. But everywhere else,

you got to sort of lift yourself up and then scoge over to the other device. Yeah, yeah. And sort of like, squat almost. Yeah, I remember being in. France and I remember I was shitting and then I was throwing up into the bidet at the same time. Nice. That's horrible. It was devastating. But I remember thinking if I was in America,

this would be going all on the floor. Wait, so you were sitting side saddle like one of the Uber each drivers that sits sideways. Exactly. You don't want to just try to like aim in between your dick and the seat. No, that would have been a disaster. Yeah, just like purseing your mouth. You make you make it a very small aperture of your mouth. Throwing up into a straw. So he's like, fucking aim it. Power wash, stream, throw up. Yeah. No, I should have tried that.

You can do that. That would have been great. All the time I brushed my teeth while I'm on the toilet. Oh, really? And then I spit the toothpaste all the way up. And if I hit the sink. No, just, no, just between my penis and the seat. But what did you hit your dick?

Well, then, you know. Burn. Grist. Hurst. Yeah. Whitening. In Japan, they have straws at the fucking toilet so you can throw up between your legs through the straw.

Wow. And they're just ahead of the game. Yeah, they get it over there. You guys should move to Japan if you like it so much. Come on, bro. Thinking about it. All right. Okay.

Well, I'm going to be in Columbus tonight if you're listening to this. There's one show at 7 p.m. at the Funny Bone. Tickets on my website or punchup.org. Thank you. No answer from Teddy Swims. Teddy Swims. No answer. Come on, bro.