Son of a Boy Dad - Weighted Autism Blanket | Son of a Boy Dad #156

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Weighted Autism Blanket | Son of a Boy Dad #156 -- Lil Sas & Rone catch up on their weeks on the couch -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/coll... -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSports -- Ad: PIE Wine, Pizzas new side piece. Visit https://PIEWine.com -- Ad: Go to https://HelloFresh.com/sonfree and use code sonfree for FREE breakfast for life! -- Ad: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). -- Ad: Son of a Boy Dad listeners get an exclusive 15% discount on all of 3CHI’s premium THC products Go to 3Chi.com and use promo code BOYDAD15 to take 15% off your order. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Young boy in the cells on the mic. He's coming for us. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. We're back in this. You know what time it is. It's time for a fresh seltzer. Hello. Sass, you are a good host, my friend. Thank you for this delicious seltzer. Of course.

Thank you for sipping with us today. Everybody, crack your seltzers spray those bitches high crack your seltzers crack your water lose i don't think i i'm actually not a big waterloo fan they were just out of la croix i've never had waterloo it's the peach isn't terrible it's not bad i've never been a big fan of a peach flavor except for peach rings. Those are the ones that really get me going. That's what my mind instantly went to when you said you're not a fan of peach. Well, that's not like real peach flavor.

Do you like peaches? No. Millions of peaches? No, I don't like going out to the country. You really don't like peaches? No. That's crazy. I mean, I've had a peach maybe once or twice in my

life just like biting into the pit of a peach and just juicy you've only had a peach once or twice in your entire life i don't fucking love fruit like that bro that's crazy i'm not as gay as i seem you've only had peaches sorry it smells like fucking ass right now i don't smell that you don't smell that oh yeah there it is that smell haunts me that's death that's death in the fridge oh dude you need an exterminator or something you need your landlord to come in here i do that when after you guys left on wednesday i pulled the fridge out and i tried to crack open the back to find wherever the dead rodent is and it's just it's impossible i'm picturing you trying to open it like the guys who steal an ATM machine and can't get into it.

Yeah, it was a lot of... Like jumping on the back of it, kicking it. I also didn't have a screwdriver. So I was trying to use a fork to undo the screws. Flat head fork. Or a knife. A Phillips head knife. Or a coin.

But it did not work. Yeah, so you'll just live with the stench of death. Dude, it's been here since i moved in which is concerning yeah that's a long time for death to linger it's lingering yeah that's nasty work did you get that coca-cola for free on the street no you didn't because i there i uh i got a handful of those uh coke zeros for free on the street they were handing them out i would not i wouldn't even i don't like Zero. I wouldn't even take one if they were giving them out. Why did you buy one then? Brother, do you think I ordered one or do you think I ordered a diet and they accidentally

gave me the Zero? Oh, really? Yep. Straight poison. I had a Coke Zero on the street and it was the freshest, most delicious Coke Zero I'd ever had in my fucking life. Coke Zero's not bad. It's just I like the good chemical taste in Diet Coke.

Yeah. The taste of cancer. Yeah. Rushing through my veins. That artificial. Guiding Diet Coke. The taste of cancer. Yeah. Rushing through my veins. That artificial. Guiding me towards the sweet release of death. Yeah. That will get you there.

Honestly, I feel like they've never studied the fact that Diet Coke 100% gives everybody every type of cancer. Oh, yeah. Because Diet Coke is worth so much money, they're probably paying off cancer researchers to be like, just avoid this. Counter-research. Yeah. To be like like it's actually good for your pancreas actually your pancreas being dissolved inside your body is is a good thing for you dude someone was telling me that if you like pour a can of coke like they they use coke to like clean up blood stains on the street after like someone gets shot i've heard that that it's like one of the most uh powerful

solvents like it'll make anything dissolve yeah which is uh disgusting but for whatever reason the cokes that i got the other day were like they're born on date must have been like december 1st they were the freshest cokes possible that's awesome they're fucking delicious i had never had a coke so fresh and delicious when was the the last time you had a real Coke? Barely ever, honestly. Probably like 10 years ago. Like Mexican Coke, you mean? With real sugar in it? No, no, no.

Like a real, just like a straight, like not diet, not zero. Oh, yeah. It's been a fucking long time. Dude, that's got to be like the greatest feeling if you're in shape enough to be like, yeah, I can just drink a Coke. I don't think that's in shape, people,

that are indulging in that. Dude, no, it never see like it's what trump said he said you never see a skinny person drinking diet coke and it's true you never see a fat you never see a skinny person drinking diet coke you never see a yeah it's true because they all drink they just drink regular coke because they're just gonna burn it off like i'll go i'll hang out with my friends and they'll just order a regular coke and i'm like that's crazy i feel like it's more gluttonous than having like a cinnabon oh yeah me too or like a loaf of bread or like multiple bagels or something like that like in my head it's so gluttonous to have a coke heavy i've just seen those like those like uh those fucking pictures of like the sugar next to the can of coke and it's like literally like

the whole thing is sugar that's yeah i forgot about those diagrams there's such a good deterrent they scared me but how can they even get that much sugar into things that's still because it's liquid yeah that just it doesn't what is it syrup yeah when you stir something in enough and it just suspends in there it still doesn't still doesn't make a ton of sense in my mind that's like have you ever seen the videos of people uh and they'll be at like uh i'm like i'm like forgetting words right now when you went you know when you like a fountain drink when they're getting a fountain drink and they they they split it so they're just getting all the syrup oh yeah because you know how those work how it's like the it's like the syrup and then the they double deluxe it in and

spin it that's crazy that's that's that's that's like a thousand grams of sugar. But for whatever reason, the skinny folks like the Coke Heavy. I don't know. I wouldn't mind switching back over to the Coke Heavy because whatever they're putting in Diet Coke has to be fucking... Oh, yeah. It's terrible. I mean, dude, they say a regular Coke is better for you than your Diet Coke. But maybe just sticking to the Waterloose is the move. Sticking to the Waterloose, dude.

That's the key you got to get back on the alcohol your recall will come back i know you're right dude i still haven't drank really yeah your skin is glowing 19 days really yeah you're that clean yeah i feel bad for the boys in chicago because they definitely think i'm going out there to like cause just cause a scene oh what is it going to be like a case race or something like that for the christmas special they probably think i'm going out there to fucking chief down a fucking pound of that zaza yeah no no no my boy shit yeah i'm there on strictly business they don't know we're clean as hell yeah things have changed fellas sorry we're straight as low key like uh

i used to think i was pretty sober when i would just like smoke weed most days. Yeah. And then I realized like I was never like fully sober. Are you still not smoking? Yeah, still not smoking. That's crazy. I thought you were only going to go for like a week. Yeah, everybody thought that. Everybody counted me out, but I didn't write back. No, I thought that's like what you said.

But I didn't count back. I don't think I was endowing you. I think you told me you were taking a week off. Everyone doubted me, but I didn't doubt back. Now it's just like I'm fucking Superman. Yeah. like now i have like are you like having thoughts again just dreams honestly dreams nothing has been harder recall hasn't been hard nothing has been fucking difficult that's good dude because everyone else that i know that quits weed they have like mental breakdowns yeah and they're like they're having like vivid dreams and like sleepwalking or just like not

sleeping at all they'll be awake for like 72 hours straight i had some vivid dreams but now like i had like vivid dreams last night and i think it was just like people at the barstool office oh yeah it's usually when i have vivid dreams that's but that fucks me up more i'd rather have a vivid dream where i'm like in like a fucking mass shooting or something and like like dodging bullets rather than like a vivid dream where i wake up and i'm like did that actually happen i'm like that could have just happened like i've had vivid when i i just stopped taking those ollie melatonins yeah those gummies oh melatonin is worse yeah than weed and alcohol yeah because those would give me the most vivid dreams but it was like that i would just have

vivid dreams where it'd be like me and you sitting here having a conversation and then i'd wake up the next day and be like wait that might have i don't know if that happened or not having a vivid conversation just like normal ass dream like nor like normal dreams but like so real just vividly playing video games yeah it's literally i remember i remember i stopped taking them when i like said something to someone and they were like that never happened really and they were like, that never happened. Really? And I was like, I swear that happened. Vividly watching TV and seeing the State Farm commercial.

Dude, that's literally what it was like. It was crazy. Saying vivid insurance commercials. Yeah, melatonin's bad. Yeah, I mean, just the things it does to your body. You've got to read that book, Bill Bryson, The Body. He basically talks about what all this shit does to your your glands yeah he fucks up your glands people just want people crave sleep so badly they just gotta fucking get back in that iron jungle i know dude but like i i gotta wake up we gotta wake up early tomorrow because we're flying to the shy dude i can't sleep for the

life of me when i have to wake up early like i could i could be laying on the couch being like oh i don't wake up till noon tomorrow and just fall asleep instantly yeah and then as soon as it's like oh shit 6 a.m wake up tomorrow i'm gonna be up till 4 a.m my boy mike said that he was like uh when he has to go to a job site that that's at like 7 a.m yeah he could just fall asleep uh really early but whenever he has to get up at like 5 a.m. to go to the job site, he stays up like super late just to like out of spite. Oh, that's not what I do. It's like, dude, who are you spiting? Yourself.

Yeah, that's good self-sabotage. You're not fucking over the people at the job site. You're not fucking over your foreman. You're just fucking yourself over. You're still going to have to do all the work. Yeah, and you're going to be out at 1 o'clock just with your brain in absolute agony. Yeah, it's usually when i get excited about something too like when i went fishing the other week i had like i had to do the midnight show at the stand and i didn't

get home i was i closed it out so i didn't get home till like 145 and i and i had i was gonna wake up at 8 a.m to go fishing i didn't fall asleep till 5 a.m because i was just like excited and i was like fuck i'm not gonna be then you start freaking it's like it was like i used to have this happen when i was a little kid on christmas and i'd be like fuck i'm not gonna be able to fall asleep i can't fall asleep and then you start thinking about like what even is sleep you're like what even is it how does it even happen it'll like trick my body into doing it it is a curious thing yeah they had old Native tales About like The jaguar

Like creeping up on you And like putting you out For like a couple hours Oh yeah Like and you would Like fight it off Like they still didn't Understand what sleep was

Like you'd be sitting In a tree I would kill for the jaguar To put me down For a couple hours Waiting for the jaguar To pounce on you And sometimes it doesn't

You stay too vigilant And the jaguar never comes Oh yeah But eventually the jaguar Comes for all of us us do you have any tricks to going to sleep i try i do the counting backwards from 500 thing but it never works i never have problems going to sleep really never maybe i'll smoke some zaza tonight you think so really go down that's crazy that you got off the booze and are picking up the zaza. I'm definitely not picking up the Zaza. I mean, a little bit.

You're not doing full fucking two-handed preacher curls with it, but you're doing little wrist curls with the Zaza. I've smoked weed probably two times in the last five years. That sounds like it's picking up. No. It sounds like the numbers are up, brother. Sounds like the numbers are through the roof on your Zaza usage. It's always when i'm not drinking

though and i'm like well maybe i'll try something else and then i smoke weed and i'm like this is so much worse than being sober yeah the paranoia just laying in like my whole body is pulsating or like standing an inch from a mirror for 45 minutes straight just staring at and staring into the back of your mind It's so bad I hate weed But you gotta smoke some tonight just to put you to sleep You honestly should just start trying to go to sleep As soon as I leave Yeah it's not a bad idea

But then I wake up early as fuck That's fine though I woke up today at 8am That's great Fell right back to sleep Woke up around 1 You should slide by my house No you're not No I was up for like 2 hours and then I fell back to sleep. Woke up around 1. You should slide by my house. I'm kidding.

No, you're not. No, I was up for like two hours, and then I fell back to sleep for like another hour. I'll check those text messages. I know you're not kidding. Yeah, that was a rough one. I mean, it wasn't actually bad at all. I didn't have anything to do. But it is the worst feeling, waking up and there's missed text.

Yeah, but there was nothing pressing. No. There was nothing like, you have to do this. I just have like PTSD from the yak. Waking up and it's fucking 2.30. I know. That was bad. That was back when I was on the booze, though. But it's nice to just not have any

obligations, like hard obligations like that. Oh, yeah. You're free. You're at night time you're a night owl yeah i was like i don't know if i necessarily feel that much better not drinking like that's what i mean about weed it's like i haven't come to this like but i don't i thought that i was going to be like seeing like shapes and shit like that like i thought that things were going to go to uh i thought i was going to elevate to this whole new level you know what's a bummer is that i was always under the impression that if i quit drinking i think i said this for a while that you were getting great shape

i was always yes i was always under the impression that if i was like dude if i quit drinking for a month i would have abs by the end of the month 19 days in i think i've gained weight because now all like now i don't i'm not going out and i'm not like hanging out at the comedy clubs super late so i just go back to my apartment or a hotel and i just eat a bunch of snacks i mean dude you should have seen the snacks i was eating this week what were you putting down in kentucky mortal sins dude what is it chocolate dude they had they didn't have a lot of snacks but one of the snacks are you talking about the hotel like in the in the uh lobby like yes area where you could just grab a bunch of snacks that place is the devil right there yeah dude this the they had this uh it was like uh who makes like twinkies and stuff hostess hostess it

was like hostess not oatmeal cream pies but it was like the the same cookie but it was chocolate inside oh like a chocolate cream pie and what was on the outside and then it was chocolate in the middle no it was like it outside? Oatmeal with chocolate in the middle? No, it was literally just a cookie with chocolate in the middle. But the catch is it was a double decker. So two stacked on top of each other. It was 490 calories. How many did you have? I got one both nights and I had like half of it.

But then I would be like hanging over the bed, taking some fucking nibbles from the side. It was bad. On the way back from rough and rowdy i was like throwing the snacks i got out the window because i was driving like just like stuff in my face with like cookies and candy and i was like man fuck this i fucking threw it out the window on the highway like a uncrustable i was like i need this shit away from me get this the fuck away from me i have absolutely no self-control uncrustables are fucking those things are dangerous i could put down 40 of those and i get them every time i go to the airport because i'm like i just need something to set me over all right no just to

just to bring me back to even they are not healthy nor are they nutrient dense no there's nothing in them they're just a bunch of empty ass calories it's it is candy it's basically candy yeah it's peanut butter and jelly yeah like peanut butter and jelly is a candy sandwich yes and it's the best white bread anyone's ever had yeah they do make the the uh whole wheat bread though whole wheat bread which is like not even healthy. It's probably more calories. Yeah, it's probably like 10 more calories. It's so crazy that like your meals growing up, cereal for breakfast, which is essentially candy. Yeah. Peanut butter and jelly for lunch.

Yeah. Which is essentially candy. And then like for dinner, just no vegetables, no fruit. Just you're eating nothing of any nutritional value throughout the entire day. Now or when you're growing up? When you're a kid. Oh, dude, when I was a kid, I was eating way, I don't eat vegetables. Actually, I can't say that, but I. All righty, let's talk about HelloFresh.

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And there's the one called Phoenix. And the guys who are sound guys, they're like obsessed with these Phoenix gummies. They're like, please, can we get some of these? And so I knew that. And so I brought down the gummies to the sound guys but it was different sound guys and they didn't expect me to bring them it felt like a kid getting a present on christmas yes they're going to get fried off of this uh delicious 3g it's incredible and it's trustworthy you know i would have brought them some delicious Delta 9 and their industry leading Delta 8 products and then maybe even their new line of

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products, go to 3Chi.com and use promo code BOYDAD15 to take 15% off your order must be 21 or older to purchase please use responsibly damn that's really what you were gonna say it wasn't gonna be anything bad it just might have gotten us into some trouble um no but i i feel like i was eating like my mom used to cook for us and I would eat vegetables like every day. And now it's like, now I,

I order, I only order a main meal. You know what I mean? I don't order, there's no sides. So if you're going to get a, if you're going to get like a chicken sandwich, you'll just get a chicken sandwich.

You're not going to side a fucking asparagus with that. Yeah. That's tough. And what are you going to cook on your fucking single plate? On my hot plate? There's no way my mom texted me and she was like would you want one of these for christmas and it was one of those like uh microwave ovens you'll you'll blow this place up i said i was like i was like there's no room

yeah you need to build a shelving yeah there was there would be no room so you could loki build a shelving unit you have headspace i'm probably gonna have to move when uh in april why because i don't think i can afford to live here what yeah i'm probably gonna have to move to like brooklyn or queens or something like that maybe harlem maybe fucking rhode island no i got some good road dates coming up so that'll be good but these last couple months have been bro you should money has been just going down there's been no uptick. I know. We need to find a way to get new jobs, side jobs.

I'm probably going to have to pick up a job at like Chipotle or some shit. Or like moving. Maybe I'll join Column and start moving people. Does he still move? No, I don't think so. Yeah, even he got out of the game. I know. I think that you moving to Brooklyn would be fucking awesome.

I think it would be terrible. Why? Because I love living here. Well Brooklyn would be fucking awesome. I think it would be terrible. Why? Because I love living here. Well, then find a way. Maybe I'll have to start selling my body or something. I mean, you have to respect sex workers. True. I think that is one of the most important things in America today.

It is. They're keeping the economy booming. Yeah, that you have to respect sex workers. be booming yeah that you have to respect sex workers like the guys who are just like hype beast sneaker freaks who are spending sixty thousand dollars a month on yeah like singular only fans account yeah that fucking that dude that was on my strange addiction i didn't even see the guy from my strange addiction but i saw the guy who i don't even know who the only girl it was that guy and someone dug it up and he on My Strange Addiction like 10 years ago for porn. But his strange addiction was porn, which I'll be honest, I don't think that's strange

enough to be. That's just like having an alcoholic on My Strange Addiction. That's the most healthy addiction, honestly. I like to drink. My Strange Addiction is the only episodes that I've seen are people who are like, I am addicted to eating bleach, or eating laundry detergent like the newspaper yeah i poured syrup on the newspaper and eat it like a tall stack of pancakes but that guy the thing i'm most curious about is where he gets his money from because i think it's either one or something oh really i

think so so he's like he was pretty ahead of the curve on that oh dude speaking of bitcoin this this was the highlight of louisville i was going to the gas station saturday morning with mook to get jewel pods and we walk in i'm still buying his i left i was standing outside some dude comes up to me massive like homeless white dude comes up to me and he goes hey you know anything about bitcoin i swear to god and i was like uh i laughed and i was like no not at all and he goes someone told me it's the right time to buy and then he walked into the gas station i think can you buy bitcoin at like the atms and shit yeah yeah i think he was buying bitcoin there's like a dunkin donuts in east falls it's like

we sell bitcoin i think he said it was like he was like now is the time it was hilarious he's cashing in like the dollars and cents that he gets where where is it held for him dude i have no it's probably like when you place a bet at like a casino and you just have a slip there's a loose piece of paper with no name or anything on it and if you lose that piece of paper you're fucked i mean maybe that's worth it for him to have like an appreciating asset in his piece of paper where his dollar bill is just going down in value his bitcoin slip might be going up in value people are saying dude people are saying now's the time i mean it is going up and by people are saying you mean the homeless guy in louisville

kentucky yeah he might be on to something though yeah i think a lot of those guys well maybe some of them wound up homeless but i think it's having a massive resurgence i don't think it's quite back at its peak but it's like kind of close to its peak and people have just gotten a lot less obnoxious about it i think that they brush fired away like some of the most broey and obnoxious because they all went to prison people about it yeah and they had for bitcoin though that was like all coins like yeah dogecoin fucking safe safe moon yeah i was trying to think of the name safe moon yeah it's tough and i think that there's tons of stories about it like people

are going to make documentaries about it but the fact that some people were able to get liquid enough to have only fans money or to buy yachts and shit like that you have to kind of tip your cap to those guys i thought that this i was assuming this guy had like an inheritance from like a billionaire dad or something like that which that would be so infuriating if you worked your whole life to make tons of money and you gave your son his lot like it was fucking joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat and he took all of his money and fucking blew it yeah but at the same time what else are those people gonna do like that makes sense to me like if you're a billionaire's son and you just inherit billions of

dollars you're probably like yeah i'll buy porn like i have the money who gives a fuck do you know the story of joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat no this is dude named joseph and he's one of 12 brothers and he like goes to his dad and he's like i want my inheritance now and the dad's like all right you can have your inheritance now oh wait no is that the prodigal son dude you're taught you're asking the wrong person i think it's the prodigal son but whatever so there's a biblical story about a guy who gives his son like his part of the inheritance and then he goes out and spends it all on whores and then he comes back home and his dad's like that was cool i'm all right with it you can still

have some money damn i feel like that's a terrible lesson to be yeah it's an awful lesson but it probably had to have been a good run. Yeah, but his other brothers who just like work the fields and shit like that. They're not smart enough to ask for the money. To have their like, but if everybody, it's like the banks. Like it's a house of cards. If everybody asks for their money from daddy, fucking spends it on whores and then comes back, then daddy has nothing to give everybody.

That's true. Well, one of the people has to step up and start fucking whores i that's kind of the way that the way the world works i think that someone's always going to be fucking whores you just got to ask yourself is it going to be me or is it going to be someone else it's a zero-sum game yeah exactly you have to be the one you have to fuck whores first it's like a circle of life it's like one of those game shows where it's like you can take the money split the money money, or give all the money back. Yeah.

You have to take all the money. Otherwise, nobody's going to get the money. I mean, it seems like that was kind of a win-win for that dude. It was. That's what I mean. I feel like that's a terrible lesson. And the lesson is for the dad to be forgiving and for the brother to not be salty about it.

Yeah, the brothers would kill him. Yeah, that's definitely the prodigal son i think joseph does come home too i don't fucking know but the prodigal son makes a bible or some shit yeah they're fucking whores in the bible yes what bro half the bible's about whores are you serious mary magdalene's a whore like mary magdalene's not like nobody's coy about it she's like a card carrying whore i guess it is a lot of a lot of sex stuff the virgin mary yeah the purist so pure lying lying ass bitch i know but the fact that uh mary magdalene was just chilling around like 12 apostles yeah she must have been caking. Oh yeah, 100%. They were probably running trains on her every night.

Yeah, they were probably like pooling their money like one of those neighborhoods where everybody throws in money and then like once a month or year everybody gets the money. They probably pooled money and like once a week someone got to fuck Mary Magdalene. Sounds like a pretty good gig.

I would love to know the untold stories of the Bible. There's probably some fucking horrific shit. The shit that didn't make the book? There's probably some fucking nasty shit that Joseph and the boys were up to. The editor was like, we can't put this in. There's no way this is going to sell if we put this in. It's enough to have King Solomon chopping a baby in in half is the bible something that people see that like the catholic church

still do they still make money off of that like if i went on amazon right now and i purchased the bible which i'm sure you can do 100 it's the best selling book of all time i'm sure there's a billion different types of bibles that you can get yeah say i ordered myself a nice little pocket bible is that where would that money go would that go to am i'm would like half of it go to amazon half of it go to the catholic church there's got to be publishers of it i think the publisher has to get some money and i think the publisher i don't think it's like johan gutenberg's printing press in the fucking catholic church i think that there's individual publishers who are just cranking out bibles dude that's like a

fucking how do i get involved in that how do i get a share of the eminent domain like it's probably so old that like anybody can print bibles no yeah well who's gonna fucking sue you the catholic church dude matthew mark luke and john are gonna be like their estate is gonna come after you like you're fucking 100 the catholic church definitely sues people overselling bibles no way yeah i think anyone could sell a bible i don't think so let's look it up can anyone sell a bible i really i truly don't think anyone could sell a bible i think it's pretty uh i bet the catholic church has it down on lock no way is it illegal to write and sell your own Bible? What does it say?

They're asking questions back. What type of Quora bullshit is this? Oh, you got to scroll down on Quora to get to the answer. Because it always comes up with like a recommended question. God damn it. Not in the US and most of Europe. Malaysia, however, strictly controls the printing of religious books. See, you're thinking of the laws of Malaysia.

Yeah, that's what I was mixing it up with. That's what you were thinking of, about the laws of Malaysia. So what about like the fucking, the Torah or some shit? Torah's just part of the Bible, bro. Torah's just the first five books. The Bible owns all of it, dude. The Bible owns all the books I know yeah

it's all part of the Bible we should start printing Bibles if we need to get our we'll keep this apartment by printing a fucking mint of Bibles get into like the Bible secondhand business yeah secondhand Bible store front street vent or whatever what is it L L train L train vintage yeah just sell vintage Bibles Bible train vintage. Just sell vintage Bibles. Bible-Train Vintage. Vintage Bibles. Vintage Bibles could take off. Vintage Bibles would go crazy. That could be a billion dollar idea right there. Vintage Bibles?

Yeah. Throwbacks? Dude, if the Catholic Church opened up a vintage shop and started selling vintage Bibles, being like, yeah, Pope Francis. This is Pope Francis' old Bible. This is certified pre-owned. Yeah. All the posts.

You could do cum stands all over it. The pages are stuck together. pages are barely even get the pages open like the handprints of little boys yeah that's a trillion dollar idea vintage bibles would go fucking crazy dude have you seen that instagram video of the kid like the i keep on getting this this video of this kid who's like a musician and he has a song about getting like raped by a priest and it keeps coming up on my fucking Instagram feed and the comments are just

flaming him that he isn't a true story? I don't know dude it is a weird and he's singing it at like packed concerts what? dude it's weird if it's true I'll give him the pass for just being honest because

kendrick lamar had that song about getting touched by his uncle or whatever yeah but it was probably good that's the i think that's the big difference here it's in the eyes of the holder if thousands of people are coming out to see this guy sing it like rape me is a good song by kurt cobain me but it's not like this is this is someone's i forget oh someone said it sounded like a logan paul diss track because he's like what is it how does it go it's like preacher no fuck i can't remember it priest no i forget what it is have you heard the little kid song about like the anti-trans song by like an eight-year-old kid no but is it good it's atrociously bad oh yeah see you can write a song about anything if it's good well this kid's

dad also makes anti-trans songs oh he definitely like wrote it for his son yeah or maybe the son's the ghostwriter no it's definitely the other way around because they have the same like concepts they're always like since when is like jill becoming joe and then the kid song it's like since when is bernice becoming bernard oh yeah they're just the dad's probably furious no the dad is like we're about to he's he's like i couldn't make it big but my fucking boy is gonna yeah true like fucking baby gronk yeah yeah it's a baby gronk situation he's baby gronking his kids out to fucking hate trans people it's truly the the most bizarre and they shot a music video he's baby gronking his kids out to fucking hate trans people yeah it's truly the the most bizarre and they shot a music video he's like on the fucking roof of a parking deck in atlanta

just like that's crazy that's like a lyric video no i've never seen that insane i gotta see that must have just came out this past week it's atrociously bad it's just uh so fucking stupid but it's a crazy grift though yeah that is so it's a good it's a good industry to get into maybe he was gonna lose his apartment though honestly dude if i lose my apartment i'm 100 getting into the anti-trans music scene not not not because that's what i believe in just because you know you sometimes you got to make sacrifices to keep a roof over your head yeah it's not like somebody who works at a sanitation plant believes in fucking shit it's a job is a job exactly never get in between a man and his meal everybody has to fucking love their job that's what i don't get about the we're talking about

the barry sanders documentary this weekend they're like yeah barry sanders i never i haven't watched it yet they're saying he quit because he just didn't love football anymore it's like bro it's his fucking job yeah it's when you have to fucking football anymore. It's like, bro, it's just your fucking job. Yeah. It's when you have to fucking love your job. That's like, what's his name? That basketball player. Jokic.

Jokic. Yeah. He hates basketball. Yeah. But he does it because he treats it like a nine to five. I have to fucking ball out of these pussies.

What do you mean parade? Worst summer of my life. Interviews, interviews. I fucked no Serbian pussy. What do you mean parade? I go home today. I go back to Syria. I have to tend to the horses.

What? What parade? Have you seen that clip? Yeah. It's so funny. He's like so confused. What, what? Parade.

What is this parade? And then he went to the parade and he had a blast. Of course, because they probably flew in the fucking... Yeah, they flew in the Syrian fucking princesses. They flew in his entertainment, like... Grace O'Malley coming to the most dangerous game show and Brianna was about to leave. Like, don't leave, don't leave.

We got something special for you. Don't worry, Jokic. How do you pronounce his name? Jokic? Jokic? Yeah. Joker? Yeah, the Joker.

The Joker. Is that what people call him? Jokic. Jokic? Yeah. Yeah, they flew in some fucking video games for him. They flew in Fortnite. Fortnite Syria.

What? What do you mean? I was playing Fortnite on the Middle Eastern servers this week. Were you? Yeah. What does that mean?

You can change your location. Oh, that's fire. So that you get on easier servers. And there's a, there's a, there's, if you change it to like the Middle Eastern,

it's easier. Because those guys aren't really that good at video games. But then if you change it to like Asia, it's like 10 times harder. Yeah, because they're out there really in the field yeah exactly they're really outside fighting yeah oh man they have no time for that there has been a massive

uptick in like middle eastern conflicts not just in uh not just in the gaza no like all all of those countries there's been like attacks on u.S. troops and, like, bases and shit. Was there a cyber attack today against the United States? My mom sent me something, and it was, like, China had a massive cyber attack on the United States. I know today is, like, Palestine Day. Basically, like, the Black Square Day revived. Oh, really? Yeah.

What are they posting? People are just, like,? People are just like, the rules are like, you're not supposed to buy anything online. And if you post anything, make sure you post like some Palestinian hashtag or something like that. I feel like it would be more useful to be like, don't post anything online.

I feel like not buying anything online is a weird one. Yeah. I wasn't like, I wasn't going to buy anything online anyway. Is Monday a big buying things day? Fuck. I can't buy anything today. I was going to do that for sure.

I'm not buying anything in solidarity. I haven't bought anything in fucking four months in solidarity. I just don't buy new shit that much. Dude, I'm on suspension from talking about masturbation on this podcast really my wife was like that's all you guys talk about really i feel like we never talk about masturbation yeah she's like every episode you guys are talking about beating off that's crazy i feel like we never talk about that i said that's fucking crazy yeah i feel like we never talk about that better Better to talk freely about it than... Exactly, than hide it. I was like, this is my art, babe.

This is my... I feel like we talked about shitting a lot more. I know. We talked about crack the whole last episode. I mean, we talked about the Alaskan pipeline. My boy Mike said that he was at a party recently. And that was going around? It came up and he was like, I was able to talk knowledgeably about the alaskan pipeline that was a while ago when

we talked about that well he remembered it that's crazy i didn't even remember it that was when we were in the studio jesus it was that long ago yeah i remember the fucking studio i remember the fucking good old days being in the stew well we'll be back in there soon Yeah we will We're gonna have basically a relaunch of this podcast When we're in that bitch There'll be art on the walls We're gonna get this exact same couch And same backdrop

But just film it in the studio instead We should get a green screen And put this as the backdrop This is what people have come to know and love This is people's like uh weighted autism blanket oh yeah they just listen to it in the background yeah we're literally just background noise which is nice it is nice that's all i want to be it's better than people like tuning in and like paying attention to every word we say and being like actually the battle of singapore was

not even close to the top 10 most brutal battle in world war ii clearly you don't know anything about world war ii you dumb ass people are on our ass about that you're like furious messages about that actually bitcoins at 45 000 53 000 these guys know nothing about bitcoin you absolute fucking idiot we talked about bears last week and i was looking at the comments and someone commented and they're like these guys know nothing about bears facts yeah I'm willing to admit yes I don't know a lot about bears but I did get an influx of videos what did I say dude every day right around this time like a magnet time to start fucking blowing the leaves away in December dude there's not a single leaf on these trees i'm starting to think that it's a cover-up for somebody uh having their limbs sawed off in the basement of one of

these places and it's like a routine yeah like they're like oh shit we gotta go torture that person downstairs yeah we have to let our gimp out to shit in the backyard let's drown out his screams let's drown out his screams with the leaf blower that was like when i lived in brooklyn and the fucking ice cream truck would come around in like november and january it's like what the fuck is the ice cream truck coming around there's nobody outside but what is the movie where the ice cream truck explodes? Somewhere in the Middle East. At a children's school. I didn't know they had...

Oh, I guess I knew they had ice cream trucks in the Middle East because there's always those videos of the guy playing the tricks. Yeah, but that's Turkey. Turkey's Middle East. Yeah, that's Turkish ice cream, right? Is it? Where they're playing the tricks? I believe so, yeah.

I gotta get over to Turkey. Me too. They said Turkey invented santa claus really when i was at that uh sports conference with erica last weekend she's like uh she's like an expert on turkey erica was like she like told like regaled me for like half an hour about like memet the destroyer has she been um i'm not sure but then we were like that then the the lady who was interviewing us was also Turkish. So she was also regaling us about how Santa Claus is from Turkey,

how it's all Turkish traditions. That's interesting. Yeah, how Donner is actually Donder. Oh, like the reindeer? Yeah, it's named after thunder. Oh, shit. It's a Turkish word. It's all Turkish shit.

I thought it was like uh i thought it was americano yeah i thought that santa claus was from fucking uh hingham yeah me too that's honestly what i i assume most holidays originated in the united states yeah they good thanksgiving fourth of july christmas easter easter is a mid holiday though sucks terribly. Except that is when our Lord and Savior rises again from the dead. Yeah, I used to go out with my boy Mike and get fucking barbecue every Easter. Oh, yeah.

And that was the funnest Easter I ever had. Huh? Bunny Con. What's Bunny Con? You've never done Bunny Con in the city? Everyone dresses up as a bunny and they all go bar hopping. Same as Santa Con? Similar, yeah.

Oh, Santa Con was maybe, was it this past weekend? Did you go out? Of course. Nice little sober SantaCon. Just an O'Doul for me, guys. Round of O'Douls? Fought a guy dressed as an elf? Yeah.

Who had like a North Face jacket on over his elf costume? There's a new sheriff in town. Like that Peyton Manning commercial. Yeah. But it's me. We'll actually do a round of O'Doul's for the bar. And then I start throwing O'Doul's at everybody. Just brawling the fuck out.

They're throwing them right back at me. It's disgusting. That commercial blows. Do you have a commercial I'm talking about? Vaguely. I am pretty good about tuning out whenever there's commercials on or barely watching channels that have commercials you watch red zone i watch red zone i'll watch

like pay-to-play channels like hbo during the day yeah and then uh whenever i watch basketball i have it on like league pass so i'm getting like the stadium feed yeah yeah those are like the only things that i watch you know there's Bud Light commercial. Well, that and SNL. Yeah, of course. In that new Bud Light commercial, it's like Peyton Manning, and he's like, I'll just do a Bud Light. And then he goes, actually, make that around for the bar. And they put out like this massive bucket of Bud Lights.

And then he turns around, and he's like, and he instantly has like game face on. He's like, it sucks. That kind of sounds awesome. sucks about it you just have a poop in your mouth i had a hair um it's it's it's it's dumb it's a dumb commercial kind of sounds awesome i'd love to sell my soul like the manning brothers i know speaking of which fucking will and taylor are gonna be on the Manning Brothers show today. Yeah. We got to get on there. I know.

We do. They're fucking – we would get along so much better with Peyton and Eli than Will and Taylor would. A hundred percent. Will and Taylor are going to choke that shit. Oh, yeah. They're going to bomb. They're about to fumble the bag.

Yeah. They're probably going to ask about Josh Giddy or something. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. They're going to ask about Vaughn Miller. How funny was that? How funny was that Pat Bev shit It was crazy

That was a good joke I know it was a good joke I've got to give you credit Bruh You reprogrammed it Yeah I did bro take a smack Smack any of them they're good Bruh

Bruh Cry Eagles cry Take a smack. Smack any of them. They're good. Bruh. Bruh. Cry eagles cry. Sigh haters sigh. Play it again. Here we go. I did some eagle stuff. Cry eagles cry.

Sigh haters sigh. That shit took me like an hour and a half to do this morning. Are you fucking kidding me, dude? Let's skip, bro. Brother. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, my God. I come into a place where that's supposed to be a safe space. Dude, I wasn't even going to do it.

You're the one that pressed it. It was just in case. And then you said press any of the... It was just in case the Eagles game came up. I've never felt so fucking trapped and led astray. I honestly was like finally letting my guard down as a podcaster, but going to a place of vulnerability, and you pull some shit like that.

Oh, man. I had to, dude. That Skip Bayless video was so fucking funny. That shit's not funny. He is a freak of nature. How is that funny? Fucking skipping Ernestine to 75-year-olds having fucking. I warned you.

Here we go. here we go dude the cowboys haven't won a super bowl since they took cocaine out of the nfl i know it's true you know did you see gilly saying that i was fucking dying he was in bed with toot he was in bed just being like cowboys haven't won a super bowl since they took cocaine out the league it was the funniest thing i ever heard heard. I was surprised that Gilly flew down there for that. Why not? I guess,

does he fly private? No, he was first class. That's crazy. That's a far ass flight. Yeah, but I mean, he goes cowboys.

That's true. Some of us, some of us care about our teams that much. I'm going down for the Sixers game tonight. I don't know if you saw, I'm rocking my Patriots gear.

Big win this week. Eliminated from the playoffs as well. They're eliminated? Yeah, they got eliminated last night. Even though they won? Yeah. Well, how the fuck did that happen? I don't know.

They weren't even the night game. I know. That sucks so bad. Just the way the cookie crumbles. Honestly, you and me are both in the same boat. It's time to start grinding draft tape to see who we're going to pick next year. Bro, we are not in the same boat at all. What are you talking about?

Dude, you know what's so crazy? I didn't realize that. I think the Patriots, I know they've always had white quarterbacks forever, but I think they're purposely trying to keep it that way. I don't think they want a black quarterback. And the Eagles have the blackest quarterbacks in all history. Randall Cunningham, Rodney Peet, Donovan McNabb, Michael Vick, Jalen Hurts. Michael Vick is black.

More so than the rest of those? I don't know. Just thinking off the top of my head. He comes to mind as the blackest of all. Why? Dude, who just won the Heisman jaylen what's his name daniels jaylen jaylen daniels jayden jayden daniels yeah dude they people were posting on like i follow these like patriots fan accounts and they're posting and they're like like all

of his statistics like 200 yards rushing and 300 passing in the same game yeah and they're like patriots fans what do we say we pick up Jaden Daniels first round? And for literally no reason, all the comments are like, something about this guy just seems off. I can't put my finger on it. They're like, I don't know. I don't trust LSU quarterbacks. Burrow would have been a huge pull, though. Dude, he would literally change the Patriots entire year next year and they're like i don't know i feel like zappy's a better option that's so fucking it's crazy zappy looks like an overgrown

toddler yeah he looks identical to mac jones yeah i'm trying to think who he looks like he looks like lex friedman he's like the same dumb haircut as lex friedman i mean dude zappy's fine zappy's good i didn't know zappy held like the record for fucking college football yeah but he's playing in a fucking podunk school dude he's playing i'm fucking but he broke joe burrow's record for what yards yeah he had like 6 000 yards in a season yeah but he's yeah i, I don't know. There's just so many random quarterbacks that are starting. It's just like dudes you've never heard of from the tiniest schools.

Like the Raiders against the fucking Chargers on Thursday night. It's going to be two random dudes. Yeah, that sucks. Basic ass. They shouldn't rush new quarterbacks into starting. That's why everybody sucks so fast. Nobody has the ability to incubate and get better, progress. No, I mean, dude, the Patriots failed Mac Jones on every single level.

They draft guys right away and they're just like, you're going to fucking play right now. Yeah, you're going to start in the NFL and you're expected to be the best quarterback in the nfl it depends yeah if you're and if you're not the best right away like they're already calling the number one overall pick the dude uh bryce young a bust yeah because cj stroud's doing better than him because cj stroud's doing good right away yeah cj stroud just lost to the fucking jets yeah by a lot and got concussed on the process but the jets are probably best team in the league jets are honestly top dog right now. It's the Jets, the Cowboys, and the Niners are the three best teams in the league.

The Jets are unbelievable. Their defense is sick. Yeah, they are. The Bills looked good for the first half yesterday, and then they just fucking crumbled completely. What's your take on the Kansas City... The temper tantrum? Yeah. Patrick homes fraud homes i mean dude frauds were exposed yesterday i will say that um i don't know you can't consider the eagles in that conversation because they were already exposed the eagles were exposed i mean dude that was a rough game for the eagles not a single offensive touchdown you're the

one who was betting on them the entire game you entire game yeah you kept live i lost a lot of money yesterday yeah that's why fucking this place is going soon i know i'm gonna be living in a fucking box by the end of the week you gotta just start betting like francis does just like one-on-one with a single guy for like one dollar i gotta start just betting direct bets is what i need to start doing. I got to bet like the Dolphins to win tonight. Yeah. Then put $100 and make $10 back. Keep it simple. It's so boring. But still, keep it simple. I had a parlay yesterday that almost brought me to tears.

It was so good. It ended up not even coming close to hitting. How was it so good? It was just so perfect. The theory of it? It was so perfect. No, it wasn't. It missed by one leg. It wasn't it wasn't. It missed by one leg.

It wasn't close to hitting. It missed by one leg. I had Gibbs. W? Jamar Chase, L. And he missed one in the end zone. And then I had Christian McCafferty and Debo Samuel. And it was like plus 2,000.

It was like $50 to win like $1,000. And it didn't hit. Debo Samuel's balling the fuck out Debo Samuel is a machine yeah he's terrifying he's unreal right now what do you think would happen to your body if you tried to tackle Debo Samuel it would turn to dust

my bones would turn into liquid if you tried to put a shoulder into his thigh when he was running full speed I think it would be like when a pickup truck gets hit by a semi on the side on the highway and it just gets sheared in half yeah yeah it just like peels off half of the pickup truck and just that's like all i think about when i watch the nfl how bad it would hurt how bad it would hurt to get hit by one of these guys yeah it may be more to be hit by a guy who's running full speed on offense dude like a guy who lowers his shoulder like if i got hit by tyreek hill i don't even think they would bring

out the ambulance they would have to bring out like a white sheet to throw over my body they would just bring and they would instantly turn red filled with blood no they would just bring out a ditch digger and just yeah bury you right on the field like jimmy hoffa they would just put you underground it's so fucking it's so nasty dude do you think they're gonna do anything about metlife i hope they do has it been like this forever has it always been like this many people getting injured there or has it always been i'm assuming it's always been a bad field but this is the first year that it's like really showing how bad it is they should put metlife in the middle of manhattan that would be unreal i would be totally fine if they just put it in central park

yes took out central like dude i'm not going to say no one goes central park well there's just a massive swath of fucking of land that we're not using either throw a fucking super walmart in there or throw a fucking metlife right there or parking lots. It can't be that hard to just like airlift MetLife and just drop it in Central Park. Or Yankee Stadium. Put it where Yankee Stadium is. No one's going to those fucking games. Put it where fucking Citi Field is.

Put it next to LaGuardia. Yeah, exactly. That would be awesome. But if it was like in like the fucking East Village or some shit like that, like how Wrigley Field, how people just like walk over there, it'd be so

fucking awesome that'd be so much fun yeah wrigley field it's like people literally you just like take the train in and then you're just there and the train is like i'm gonna say take the train it's like three stops away they're about to put the sixers stadium right in the middle of uh philly yeah that'll be sick like chinatown how far is uh how far is the eagles stadium from the middle from like downtown like 10 minutes damn it's not far at all but you can't walk there but you could take a very easy train yeah i guess you could walk there like a new york would be like two mile walk i mean gillette is just in the middle of nowhere yeah gillette is like on the side of it's like it's like in a strip mall that sucks so bad yeah why Why is that? I've literally never been to a Patriots game.

Yeah, it sounds like it sucks. Because it was like two hours away from my house. Only time I'll go up there is for Army, Navy to see El Prez shoot those fucking guns. Oh, 100%. Make Belichick proud. It's so crazy. Did you see the t-shirt guns that they have? No.

They're the most fucking badass t-shirt guns that exist. Like, we're definitely spending a decent portion of the defense budget so the school army can have badass t-shirt guns that exist. Like, we're definitely spending a decent portion of the defense budget so the school army can have good t-shirt guns. Like, our taxpayer money is going to fucking fat-ass t-shirt guns. That's sick. I think as I get older, I'm going to become a fucking my taxes pay for this guy. Oh, yeah, big time.

Like, my taxes pay your salary. Yeah, I'm there already. Hey, buddy. To like cops and sanitation workers. Last time I checked, I pay your salary. I pay your fucking salary. You work for me. Yeah, you pig.

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for 20 off download game time today last minute last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed it was good it's a good city uh the shows were fun the shows were good most of them of course saturday late night was pretty was pretty rough it was uh i mean there's just no staff at that place so it was it was a lot of um so you got to make your own chicken tendies a lot of no they don't have food it was a lot of backdrop and baskets chicken tenders into a portable air fryer. I was doing my set, and about halfway through, I noticed that the crowd was so drunk,

and I just noticed the life in their eyes was gone, and it was like talking to a fucking brick wall. And it was crazy, because it was like I was doing great in the beginning, and then I'm still doing my best material. And then out of nowhere, it was just like oh they've been here too long and it's they're they're just like it's it's over the show's over

we just lost them yeah that's tough they were dude louisville is a they drink a lot yeah dude like people like i didn't know there were dogs down there like that yeah they were in the late show friday there was p or saturday there was people like there was a dude in the front row who was like howling laughing the whole time fucking yelling out being like whatever he wasn't being annoying he was just hammered and then uh and then like last time into the show he was literally like falling over and his girlfriend was like wake up and he was like what man man? What? Get out of my room. There was a coach who used to, have you ever heard of Rick Pitino?

No. He was a basketball coach. He was at Louisville, and he got in big trouble for having wild parties at Louisville. He was just ordering prostitutes for his guys. He had like a staffer who had discretionary funding,

a guy who was basically like the Connor Stallions in charge of the whore money. There was a slush fund for whores. his uh for his guys he had like a staffer who had discretionary funding a guy who was basically like the connor stallions in charge of the whore money yeah there was a slush fund for whores getting everybody seems to be a reoccurring theme where they have slush funds for whores i think that that's like all of what recruiting was based on for until the nil came along yeah or there's probably like a little gap between like nil and when the whores were getting hired by boosters yeah where like that like it was probably bad for people to be recruited in that time you weren't getting shoeboxes full of money like shack was you were just getting yeah like prostitutes no i think that there was like the prostitute shoebox and then

everything got cleaned up because of the internet and then there was no money to be made like when menzel was playing and then that's why he had to do all the autographs yeah have like a fake manager and fucking there's no autographs bro that dude was just fucking getting it that was getting fucking fake money yeah i know autographs autographs that's so insane to be like yeah he made eight million dollars selling autographs just absolutely not true yeah what yeah that was so that was crazy and he would just like go travel and then like stay in a hotel room and he just signed a bunch of memorabilia and just fucking get three three million dollars i know who was buying it i don't think anybody texas a&m dude people like like brandon would spend like his fucking kids college fund on like a

mississippi state quarterback like signed helmet. He is a booster for Mississippi State. He puts money in guys walking over the crackhead stairs. Fresh Louis Vuitton bag. Like he just shopped at Louis. I wonder if he knows that he's the fucking he lives upstairs for a crackhead. He probably sells that guy crack. He's probably like the guys during the

pandemic where he's like i'm on your side crackhead like punches him in the face like well we're on your side that was my favorite video from the pandemic the yeah by far i'm on your side great times good times that That Gillian Wallow shit Was so fucking funny Yeah I saw Meek Mill Was shouting him out Yeah that's sick right That was pretty big

It's fucking huge Always good to see Meek Supporting the stool It was just such a fun atmosphere Everybody was going crazy Was it packed? It was packed And like

Just being in the crowd Like having to walk Back and forth From backstage Like crazy songs Would come on And girls would just start like twerking in their seats for like not for like not to be seen like they're just like the last row like they're just like having so much fun like popping their ass and like twerking dude i was on stage and i got i only the only part i saw of it is i got off stage and i just see gillian wallow doing the fucking like jamaican like dry humping dancing on in the ring yeah yeah they went in the ring for the ring girl contest

imagine if like dave and big cat went into the ring and were just like grinding on the girls like they're like picking up the girl's leg it was so funny dude and or like gilly like that like the little one. There's like the little girl who's 30 years old and a mother of two. They made sure to save that over the loudspeaker. But Gilly was like picking her up and holding her. And all the comments were like, oh, Toot's going to whoop his ass. Toot's going to be on his ass.

Dude, that was literally the first thing I saw when I came back to the green room. It was just Gilly daggering a little person it was so fucking which is not the first time he's done that either because there's a i remember seeing an instagram reel a while ago of him doing that on stage at one of their live shows he's got like a good old-fashioned sense of humor oh dude they were just like little people are hilarious to them yeah they are unbelievably funny like there was one fight where a dude was just, like, getting punched in the face, and Gilly was just, like, not really defending himself, and Gilly just, like, I was doing the commentary next to him, and he just, like, fell out of his chair laughing.

Yeah, yeah. He just thought it was so funny that this guy was getting punched. The fact that they had the midget fight, and he's just, like, laughing so hard at the midget fight. Like, he just was, he's just such a joyful individual. He just has so much joy in his eyes at all times. Yeah, it's cool that it did that well. Where was it?

Delaware. Delaware? Was it at a stadium? It's where the Delaware Bluecoats, which is the Sixers minor league basketball team, is where they play. It was packed, right? It was packed.

I went in there and every Barstool security guard was there. It was like the Avengers of security guards. They were all like standing there lined up fucking walked over to them yeah they sure are they gonna do that more i don't know like at least they should do it once a year yeah it was awesome it was a good having the proof of concept now they have clips that they could put out to promo it yeah meek is like tweeting about it i think it will do good we'll do bigger numbers the next time for sure um they served us like italian food beforehand and i deliberately avoided the peppers and onions yeah because i was like i'll be farting up a storm here still having the italian food dude i was pooping sand for two hours beforehand they had buffet italian food italian

food i don't know what about what it's about because you would expect... I used to eat pasta constantly growing up. Yeah. And then I like go out for Italian food and I come home and I just diarrhea like my brains out. It must be like the cheapest version of like noodles or whatever they talk about on Andrew Huberman's podcast where they're like the oils in these are actually going to kill you faster than Diet Coke's will. I don't know if it's like gluten or what. But it made my stomach... It turned me into a fucking monster i i didn't eat when we did the barstool awards thing they had a bunch of italian food there right did they i didn't even i think that yeah they had a bunch of italian food they had like pizza and pasta and all that shit and i didn't eat any of it because i was like first of all i was in a suit and i was

like dude if i eat this i'm gonna burst through this suit and i yeah you're gonna get bloated yeah and i was in a suit with like a long jacket on so i was like i had to like i was getting naked in the bathroom stall like a girl pooping in a romper having to wipe your ass when you have a suit on yeah oh dude that's treacherous i i did a big no you're not supposed to take a shit in the green room that's kind of like a known rule in comedy because everyone has to sit in the green room the entire time. Damn, bro. What are these snacks? Oh, yeah.

Big snacks. What the fuck? I told you I've been snacking like crazy. Whoa, bro. I told you, dude. Oh, you're spilling. Don't be spilling. Not on the white couch, dude. Oh, you're spilling. Don't be spilling. Not on the white couch, dude.

Cheetos everywhere. I'm sorry, bro. Pick that shit up. Dude, I shit. I took probably the worst shit I've taken in a year in the green room. And then I walk out and the feature who I've never met is just sitting in there. And I just had to be like, dude, I'm so sorry. Do not go in that bathroom it's just a rule everywhere yeah it's just i mean it's just like it's just common sense

like it would be like if we were sitting on this couch and there was a toilet right there it's like it's like if you took a diarrhea in a fucking prison cell like how miserable except naughty it'd be worse because there's a ventilation in a prison cell at least. Is there? There's, you're not enclosed, you're not closed in

unless you're in like solitary confinement. I think most prison cells are pretty closed in. They don't have the bars. I don't think they have like windows that you can crack. But they got like the bars.

I think the doors like clank shut. Really? I don't know. I don't know. I guess I don't know either. I've never been to prison. We don't know what the fuck

we're talking about. Yeah, we're not big prison heads. We're getting inflamed. Yeah. These guys don't know. I don't know. I guess I don't know either. I've never been to prison. We don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Yeah, we're not big prison heads. We're going to get flamed. Yeah. These guys don't know fucking anything about prison. I like how we've just pivoted to talking about our shits, though. Yeah. This is what my wife gets for not wanting me to talk about being a...

Here we go! Bro! Dude, it took me so long to figure out how to do that. And you told me you were going to be here like an hour before you got here because i wanted to give you time to figure this out and i was sitting here like like google open on every fucking platform i have every device google on your google on my kindle yeah just being like how do i convert the file because i kept on putting the files on and then it would say invalid file. Turns out I had to convert it to a different format.

What kind of Cheetos are those, bro? I don't know. I get fucking creative on GoPuff. Those Cheetos, for whatever reason, I had to put the Cheetos in the mouth with the Chips Ahoy. Were they spicy hot? Yeah, but like a pepper, though. Oh, yeah. They have cinnamon in them.

Tangy chili fusion. These shits are fire, and they go good with the chips ahoy at the same time in my mouth. Yeah, I'm sure. It's like a fucking party in your mouth. I don't know how. It's like the sweet with the spice. I feel like I'm eating Korean food or some shit, bro. That shit's genius.

That shit will give you diarrhea. That? What I just had? Flaming hot diarrhea. Oh, yeah, big time. It'll be coming out of that hot chicken in Nashville. Yeah. Oh, I had hot time. It'll be coming out of that hot chicken in Nashville. Yeah. Oh, I had hot chicken in Louisville.

Did you? Yeah, but I didn't put the fucking hot chicken part on it. She said, I'm going to bring it on the side because it's really hot. And then I was like, I'm just not going to put it on. Did you even taste it? Did you even dip pinky? Yeah, I put a fry in it. It wasn't even that hot at all.

But I was also, I didn't even want hot chicken. I just wanted a chicken sandwich and they only had hot chicken so i was like oh this actually works out perfectly got it yeah you gotta go i mean if i was you going to these cities uh here we go sorry if you thought if you were me going to these cities i would be looking up the best restaurants in every city yeah dude that's what you think and then you go to these cities dude it's all the same the most cities, there is nothing to do. No, it's not. Every city has good restaurants.

Dude, in most of these cities, there's not much to do. You're wrong. They don't have much to offer. They at least have good food. But at the same time, dude, eventually, it's like, how many times can you go to a different city and just like, oh, we got to go try the food here? I'd rather just sit in my hotel room and rot and cry and cry and call my manager and go, I can't do this. I can't do it anymore.

You got this, man. You just step back from that ledge, my friend. Hey, man, all you got to do is just get through this weekend and then you're done for the year. Is that what they say?

Yeah, but I am done for the year. I got some flaming hot dates coming up. Yeah? Chili fusion dates? I got some chili fusion dates coming up. I got a Baltimore, my go fusion dates coming up i got a baltimore my goobies of course january 12th you need me for that one yeah you should come on down it's

gonna be a fucking blast my goobies is a fun time i fucking love baltimore my goobies is a good club and then i got uh i'm like going to houston freaking denver albany wisconsin pittsburgh those are all going to be bangers oh excited for let's cut down on the number of shows and let's just sell those bitches out truth no those will those should sell out at least denver and pittsburgh back from that ledge my bro let me get another whack of that sweet nicotine bro here you go let me give you shake first, though, so you can get the good stuff. Yeah, make it fresh. Make it bubbly. I want my shit carbonated up on top. Exactly.

Finally, I put my love on top, baby. Yeah, and get it going like you're siphoning gas. You take the first hit. Guys, make sure you're smoking along and vaping along in the chat as well. A little bitch hit by me. Oh, man. I'm going to go fishing on Friday. In Jersey.

I was supposed to go out to North Carolina to go fishing. Western North Carolina with my buddy Matt. And then he was like telling me his schedule. He's like, yeah. He's like, let's do that because he lives in Tennessee. So I was like, that would be he's like yeah he's like let's do uh let's do that because he lives in tennessee so i was like that would be perfect we'll just drive out to north carolina you're gonna take a zip car down yeah and then he was like i have finals i was gonna come on the 15th or like the 16th or i was gonna come on the 15th and he's like well i have

finals the 14th and the 16th and i was like dude what are we doing you got to study buddy well i was also like dude your finals are taking place on the day we're going fishing i was like what why have we been planning this for weeks and you just happened to drop me this information now he just forgot to tell you yeah he's pretty poor at planning yeah and you're pretty poor and i'm pretty poor so it's probably for the best that i'm not going to north carolina say local fish we got the company party on uh on uh thursday oh really i didn't know that either i found out last night where is it upstairs upstairs at the office yeah probably there's all the pirate water you can drink yeah i'm not i'm not uh i don't drink anymore so i'm probably gonna i'll probably just show face and dip just go and converse with people yeah i'm there strictly on business damn remember

when at that are you working at barstool when uh sophia franklin was at the company party and she like uh she got super drunk she got super drunk and like lost a bag of cocaine like got in a massive fight and then they'd like put her in a cab it was like her like first week of work no i didn't know i've heard it i've heard about it but i was not there when that happened but i heard it was a fucking blast for her yeah yeah she was having the time of her life do you think girls get like uh hangover anxiety like men do like do you think if you're do you think if you're a girl and you do that you think you wake up the next morning you're like that was fucking good ass night girls have girls are the like uh senseis of of anxiety really girls are geniuses at anxiety girls get so much more anxiety than

dudes are you kidding me i don't know i'm just just question be trans for a little bit you see take a walk in their shoes because if i did that i would probably kill myself the next day like if i went out the day i got hired at barstool and like blacked out had to get put in a cab and did and lost a bag of cocaine i would quit i would quit the job the next day yeah i would not be able to do that that's crazy yeah but some people are just party girls yeah i guess yeah maybe not me it's the brand you lean into the brand but i think that women if you lose you lose women are geniuses at anxiety. I don't think there's one of them that doesn't get it

or isn't acutely aware of their anxiety. And all you need to do to get prescribed Xanax is be like, I have a vagina. Yeah, that's true. They will give you the Xanax. That's freaking good. They never think of girls as having drug-seeking behavior. And they always think of guys as having drug-seeking behavior.

I know. I need to get having drug-seeking behavior. And they always think of guys as having drug-seeking behavior. I know. I need to get some drug-seeking behavior. I need to get some Xanax. Just so I can do something. Just to pop a bar, bro. I need to chew up some bars. I would kill for a bar right now. A tongue full of bars.

I'm such a bar head. I know. I got bars like fucking eminem i would kill for a bar tomorrow morning and just hop on that flight and just transport to chicago oh that's a good idea yeah i mean we should bar out i took i'm on the same flights as you i'm sitting main cabin no comfort plus no first class available on the way back i'm sitting main cabin yeah but i i submitted my request for the upgrade i didn't even uh or i don't know yeah on the way back i'm sitting main cabin yeah but i i submitted my request for the upgrade i didn't even uh or i don't know yeah for the way back maybe i gotta submit my requests

i can't believe we're flying back at 7 p.m i was planning on flying out like tomorrow night we gotta do fucking live boy dead i know from chicago we should just do it on the plane with the plane wi-fi somehow it's better than the office we're like like the visual is a little bit choppy but ari shafir's done that before not live but he's recorded podcasts like on a plane that's fucking wild i know imagine sitting next to someone i'll be so pissed i think he usually has like he'll have like the guests like sitting next to him that's still weird. I think it's hilarious.

I think it's a funny idea. No, it's definitely a funny idea. His old episodes of his podcast. What is it called? Jew. No, it's called... Fuck. Something Tank.

Think Tank? No. Drink Tank? Something. I forget what it's called. Frank the Tank? But he used to, like, walk... He would, like, hold, like, a Zoom recorder and just walk around the city and record i know we should

be doing shit like that i know it's a good idea no you told me every idea i had is bad every idea is taken dude okay no there's nothing new under the sun dude everything old is new again we should start just fucking oh my god what is this wind i thought it was snowing sideways ass wind the guys get the leaf blower i would kill for either china to attack us cyberly right now or i would kill for a storm so that i could be like hey guys i'm not gonna be able to make it to chicago why don't you want to go i want to go i just don't want to fucking get on another plane dude that's true i want to sit in my apartment and rot my travel has completely dried up i just fucking drive back and forth all the time. Dude, my flight yesterday, I had a 6 a.m. flight out of Louisville.

Louisville? I got a 6 a.m. flight out of Louisville, and I flew. I got to the airport at 5 a.m. I made my flight by two minutes. I had to run to the gate. You think we're missing our flights tomorrow? I fucking hope not. I can't believe you're flying out of JFK.

There's no LaGuardia flights. Early enough to get us there? Or like, it was like, there's a 6 a.m. or a 7 a.m. I know, but there was like also like a 9 a.m. that was looking good. But it would get us there 40 minutes before the Yak. Yeah, can't risk it. Totally could risk it. Totally could risk it. Totally could risk it.

I don't even think they expect us to be on tomorrow. We could have just gotten there fucking 20 minutes after it started. Nah. JFK is hell on earth. Starting your day at JFK is honestly one of the worst things I could possibly imagine. What are you talking about? Waking up and Ubering to JFK. That's what we're going to do tomorrow. tomorrow this is gonna be me in the uber tomorrow ah ah why you can't actually just texted us yeah

what time what time do we get in what time do you guys get in tomorrow fucking 8 a.m be at your pool be at your house at 8 a.m we should stay with him i am he said that last time yeah where are you gonna stay did you book a hotel no neither we gotta but i want to i do not want to travel around chicago i'm trying to be driving all around chicago i'm trying to be right next to the office checking into another hotel and this is for and i'm just gonna credit card and this is for incidentals i know what it's for i get it i know what it's for thanks that is the fucking worst and here let me give you this piece of paper that shows you all of our amenities we do a brunch that takes place at four in the morning until five in the morning no one has ever shown up for it we do a happy hour where you can get a sprinkle of champagne

on your tongue that'll be flicked at you like a priest doling out holy water and you can get a sprinkle of champagne on your tongue that'll be flicked at you like a priest doling out holy water. And you can have a cookie that is as hard as the earth's crust. Every time I check into a hotel, I get on my hands and knees and I pray for there to be snacks in the mini fridge. And there has never once been snacks in the mini fridge. We gotta ask Big Cat to book us a real nice hotel.

Yeah. You think he would? I have his card. Did you not use his card to book us a real nice hotel yeah you think he would i have his card did you not use his card to book your flight i use my card oh but you have a company card yeah well let's get nice hotels all right like let's get let's i'm excited to see the new office that's gonna be pretty cool you've never been out there now oh you're gonna fucking love it isn't it in a weird area though isn't it kind of in the middle of nowhere i don't know you've never been either i went last time.

I went there. It was open. Oh, yeah. You just were there. You were there like last week. I was there November 7th. Yeah. It's like a week ago.

A month ago. About a week ago. So do you think the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl? I didn't bet on it. The Jets to win the Super Bowl? I didn't bet on it. Shee! The Jets to win the Super Bowl right now are plus $100,000. $10 to win $10,000. Did you do it?

No. Shee! It's a good bet, though. Love those odds. Love a good plus $100,000 bet. You think A-Rob will come back? I think he's going to. They said he's going to be available to play in December 24th. Yeah, they're shutting him down until next year.

Yeah, 100%. His ass isn't coming back. They also don't even need him anymore because fucking... Tim Boyle. Zach Wilson is the future of the organization. He's a franchise QB. Zach Wilson was throwing dimes. And they said right before that game,

they were saying that he's going to be up for trade. They're going to trade him next year. Same with Justin Fields for the Bears. If the Patriots take either of them, we'll be furious. They probably will do some stupid shit. They'll probably trade their first-round pick for Justin Fields. No, they'll use their first-round pick

and they'll get a long snapper and then they'll pick up Justin Fields as a free agent. But he'll be white as the driven snow. Oh, yeah. That I promise you. All right, let's end the podcast. I have to go home and then drive to Philly

and then drive back be back or record with Pat Bev then be back at 1 in the morning so I can get up at 6 in the morning to make this flight alright copy that

we'll see you guys tomorrow and we'll also be on the act tomorrow but make sure you listen to the podcast first because we need it badly alright love gang we'll see you guys next

we'll see you guys on Wednesday goodbye hit these ads don't kill it