Son of a Boy Dad - What's Plaguing Gilbert Grape | Son of a Boy Dad #443

Episode Date: October 8, 2026

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Hey, son of a boy dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, ad free on Amazon Music. Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at High Noon. Folks, it's fall. It's in the air. And you know what? You should grab yourself a case of High Noon because that's the best thing to bring to a tailgate.

The best thing to have if you're hosting a watch party on a Sunday, best thing to have if you just want to have a nice clean drink. I like to have some high noons just cold in my refrigerator at all times. Not just in case I have some surprise company, but just as my treat for a Friday when I'm trying to enjoy myself for a Saturday. If I'm going to watch some college football, that's a high noon opening. And I'm talking about a tequila seltzer. Or a vodka seltzer, which is my preference. But you know what?

I don't judge. Just because someone likes a different flavor or they like the tequila based doesn't mean we can't all still be friends. root for the same teams. You know what I mean? The lime with the tequila is a classic, timeless drink. And you almost feel like you just went to a nice resort. And they've made you something that, you know, is proprietary to their property. But somehow this is something that you can access at any time. And they're fantastic. No malt. Real fruits. Sparkling water, natural flavors, real tequila or real vodka over there. Exactly. And if you're wondering where you can get some or to learn more, High Noonspirits.com.

And now let's start the episode. Can you finish your body armors? Ready? Yeah, yeah. Already, welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it is October 6th. We are here live from HQ3. Welcome back.

How are we? And get well soon to Joey Swole. Joey Swole was at the forefront of our minds. Joey Swole was in the hospital. Joey Swole? Yeah, Joey Swole. I'm not familiar. You don't know Joey Swole?

No. The guy that I was rushed to the hospital Saturday morning. The guy who does the videos outside the gym being like, you are not allowed to like call someone a creep in the gym if they're just looking at you while you're working out. Just because someone's looking at you masturbating while they work out does not make them a creep. You really don't want people to look at you. Stop wearing such tight clothing.

I've never seen this guy in my life. There's other. I don't even know this. videos you guys are talking about. Don't show us Joey Swole at his worst. Show us Joey Swole. And he looks great. Even in the hospital. Yeah, exactly. He had heart issues. You've definitely seen this guy. I mean, I have no doubt that he's a beast just from first glance, but I don't know him. Look at that. There's Swole.

Good God. There's the Swole we. I mean, when you know when your pecks are touching your biceps that you're jacked. When you've cleavage between your arm and your breast. That is the number one sign of being jacked. Side tit. I mean, it's literally the top of the peak of his bicep is touching the side of his peck. His vein is like he got branded into a black frat. Yeah. I mean, he's swall.

He might be one of the swall or people I've ever seen. He's Joey swole. Yeah. But he's ethical too. I mean, his forearms are fucking huge. Yeah. It looks like Mark McGuire. It was like thighs.

That one year. It looks like Drewskiy in that NFL player. Yeah, yeah. We had the plastic cover up. His second heart surgery. No. Fuck. Mack was saying that Joey Swole that it's in his, like he's always had heart issues.

It's not related to his working out his protein intake or his steroid usage allegedly. Really? This is just natural. No, that's what Max said. Like high cholesterol. That's a Mac said. Put him on a stat. It's related.

Yeah, I would assume so. That would be the most logical. Get him on a stat and he'll be fine. He's Natty. He says he's natty. He's never touched the stuff. That's why he has veins sticking out of his pecks. I wonder why guys who are on steroids are so vehemently in denial that they are on them.

I mean, even if you take steroids, it still takes work. Yeah, I don't think anyone's like, also, no one's, like, going to be mad at this guy if they find out that he's on steroids. Like, you can't achieve that without steroids. I agree. It's literally almost impossible. I don't think you can look that way. You have to hit like a genetic lottery to be able to Even then there's just a

There's a peak For humans Yeah but he just lives in the gym Hits his macros Hits his protein goals Doesn't matter He has a good balance of carbohydrates Same amounts of testosterone on top of that

Sits on a bed of needles Yeah Just a crazy You're kicking him while he's not just down He's in the hospital I envision him sleeping on one of those beds that you see the like Tibetan monks balancing on like just all needles

each one simultaneously all through the night slowly compressing into him it's the most efficient way to do it one at a time I mean yeah he's probably on everything he's probably on fucking you know GLP ones I mean this is a good picture like we're not going to just give him a hard time

for having a good picture I'm not giving him a hard time at all I'm just saying I think yeah I think he probably has had two heart surgeries and third years probably because of his extensive drug usage. He might just have a perfect body for weightlifting. He might be on the shorter side. Is Joey Swole?

Can we look up his height? How tall is Joey Swole? Of course he swole. But, you know, because five foot nine. No, five foot six. Five foot six. Oh. Yeah, your point is stands.

He has a perfect body for a way. Weight lifting. When you're that tall, all of the mass gets pushed down and outward. What? Like if you're five foot six? Yeah. When you're that short, you can't, you can't not get jacked. Nobody who's five foot six isn't jacked. Right. Exactly. I mean, that he still is very, very jacked for five foot six. But my point is that everyone who's five foot six is jacked. No. Yes, they are. Not like that. You ever see someone with those tiny little stumpy arms? where there's a big difference between stumpy arms and what that guy looks like. Bro, this dude, like it looks like... If you guys think this guy's not on steroids. All right, let's put it this way.

For me to look like that, I'd have to put on 100 pounds of muscle. No, I understand. It's two meals. Yeah. That's two chicken salad sandwiches. But he still is on steroids. Yeah, absolutely. I have friends that are 5, 6.

They don't have triple biceps. Well, they don't have like motivation either then. That's on them for not having. triple biceps. They don't belong to gyms. They go hiking for fishing holes. And I probably have jacked five, six friends too. Right.

They're not that jacked. Well, you're just, your, your, your, gangly arms could never comprehend the compact bench press motion that this guy has.

Yours could? No, I'm not, look at me. I'm all gangles. His rep gets three inches off as show. I think you guys are also like, kind of, I mean,

five foot six is into that. He's not like, he's not four feet tall. He still is a normal human being. Five, six is impossibly short. No, it's not. It is for a man, for an American man. It's short, but it's not like he's not like a freak.

It's freak. No. I don't know anyone that's short. Yes, you do. You probably work with people that short. Zah. Jerry, Jerry's probably five foot six. Is he?

Probably. And he's jacked. And Jerry's very jacked. And Jerry's not. Very jacked. Jerry's not jacked at all. He's super jacked. Yes, he is, bro.

He's five, five, five, six. Yeah, but Jerry, Jerry's got tattoos. Yes. And that adds like three inches. You guys are brain dead. I think that... Jerry, I think Jerry's going to start doing steroids. I think that Joey Swole is somebody who's in the, like, barstool universe.

And I don't want to glaze past that. I want to get back to that. But I think that Joey Swole is someone in the barstool universe. like clavicular and Stella Lefty that you just can't make fun of. Oh, really? Yeah, you can't make fun. He's going to be coming in here. That's why even if he does steroids in front of you, you have to be like, no, he didn't.

I didn't see shit. Joey Swole is a good man. Joey Swole is the most honest man I know. Those were peptides. Yeah, that's insulin. He's diabetic. He has heart problems. Let's put it this way.

Had he been here on the day that that Uber Eats driver attacked our guy, he would have climbed right inside his helmet like Aunt Mavit's. man. Yeah. And gouged his eyeballs out. Yeah, probably. You're probably right. Joey Swole was in Toy Story 1. You play that really jacked up toy. Do you remember that? Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. That's young Joey Swole. I like that. I like how like the casting, like they, they still want a jacked guy just for the voiceover. Yeah. That's Joey Swole. Well, it's like when they cast real paraplegics to play people in wheelchairs. Exactly. Because otherwise there's a whole, whole fuck. Yeah. It really is.

You know, the jacked community already feels underrepresented in film. Yeah. People get really mad when there's like a role that's similar to them that they didn't get. Correct. Yeah. You're like Brian Cranston got cast to play a paraplegic. Meanwhile, there's plenty of wheelchair bound actors that are not getting work. It's like, well, are they Brian Cranston? How many Emmys do they have? Because he's probably the single greatest TV actor ever. Yeah. So where's the line?

Can anybody play anything? Do you think that someone could play a midget that was a tall person? No, no. In Moulon Rouge, John Leguizamo does that. He just like waddles around on his knees. Yeah, I mean, that's a little odd. That must be, I mean, is that like before, is that old? It's like the 90s?

Yeah. Late 90s. It was before they elected a president. Everything flew in the 90s. Yeah, of course. Everything was okay. Everything was fine in the 90s. Everybody could play a retard, special needs person.

There were so many. It was like, I am Sam. Gilbert Gordon movie. There were so many able-minded people who played. Now, does, uh, mentally enable, yeah, whatever the,

forgive me. Did you guys ever see Gilbert grape? No. Neither of you have seen Gilbert grape. I've heard it referenced on every show ever, so I think I've basically got the plot. Well, I've heard Batman referenced on every show ever. I haven't seen Batman begins.

I don't want to talk about that Your chest, brother. Nothing wrong with it. Just you're now, I mean, that's like a That's like a pretty famous movie though That neither have you seen. But what am I going to see it now? Like you missed the train then.

I'm not going to do it. It's incredibly depressing, but yeah, yeah, you should see it. I choose not to watch it for how it offends me Based on the representation of people. But did you guys like, how did you guys not watch that movie when you were younger? I thought it was icky. Um, I don't know.

I was watching Batman Begins. Batman Begins came out years after Gil, Grape. I was watching move on. You were holding out. You were waiting for your first movie. I was waiting for the trilogy of Gilbert Grape so I could watch the second and the third. Yeah, Gilbert begins.

Gilbert's eating. Gilbert has eaten. Oh, fuck. I watched Gilbert Grape when I was very young. What's drinking Gilbert Grape? Who put it on? Who put it on for you? Your parents?

I watched it at my cousins in. Illinois. What is it a cautionary tale? I don't know. It's kind of just like a really depressing movie. Is it the of mice and men sort of like of, um... It's pretty much just like this older dude, Johnny Depp. And who plays a special needs person?

Julianne Moore with that haircut? Is that Julianne Moore? It's Leonardo DiCaprio. Who's on the right? Oh, I don't know. Who's that woman? But pretty much, I think Leo is his younger brother. and like he's pretty much just trying to get pussy the whole movie

and his younger brother keeps fucking it up by like running up the water tower and shit what do you mean running up a water tower I know exactly what he means and I've never seen it that's what I know exactly what he's talking about he's always like running up the like ladder of the water tower and like hanging out on the top of the water tower and they got to like have the fire department come pull him off does somebody die and he like I think like everyone Shakes the person

His, well his dad He talks about his dad dying But Leo's mom He dies and he discovers her And she's dead It's such a depressing movie The dad kills himself And the mom

They just like they show the mom And she hasn't left her bed in like 30 years So she's like 900 pounds It just seems so good You should definitely watch it I think I'm all set I just don't want to be depressed

I'm not gonna go out of my way to be depressed about like children. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's definitely a depressing movie. Yeah, this shit sucks. Before we get back to Jersey Jerry being on steroids, do you think that Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai? Do you think that that was fucked up?

Tom Cruise in the last samurai. Wasn't he the guy that was in the last Saturday? Yeah, yeah, he was. Was he really? Yeah. What's fucked up? What's the accusation there? He plays a Japanese guy.

Oh, I'm thinking, no, he doesn't play it. a Japanese guy. He plays a guy who gets captured or whatever. And then they realize that he's able and they turn him into one of their own. He earns their respect. Oh, like Mulan. Or so many other. Like White Boy Mulan. Yes. Like White Boy can't jump. White men can't jump. I've never seen that. I was thinking of Seven Samurai, I think. Oh. A really old movie. I heard that's a classic though. It is a classic. We look up Seven Samurai, just so I can make sure that movie exists. It does, it does.

Harry, I watched... Yeah, I've seen this. This is a really classic. Harry, wow, good for you. Was Tom Cruise in this? Yes, yeah, he is. He plays one of the seven. He plays a white.

This is like a black and white. Harry, I watched the movie that Ron was telling us about, the prison one, that you thought might be gay. Yeah, yeah, of course. What was that called again? I don't know, but there wasn't a hint of gayness. Well, there was. You glossed over it.

Waste man. Waste man. Oh, yeah, it looks super gay. His son is a gymnast. Gay. His... You guys are both watching this? It's a single movie.

Oh, okay. I thought it was a show. I was like, what the fuck? I watched it on the plane. I watched it on the plane, too. It's great. And he's ass. He said it's great.

It's great. Is it gay? No. The son. The son's gay. I think so. He's not out yet. I'm fine with that.

But that's just because he's not like, he lives in a rough part of England where that once he gets older, he'll come out. Yeah. Yeah. No, I like that. I mean, you think they'll make another one, a sequel? Gay man. Waste man like W-A-I-S-T?

Waste man. No, it was. was very good, very interesting character development, no gay shit, just an enthralling movie. And it made me feel good that Francis liked it and had such glowing things to say about it. And I just think you'd really like it. I'm giving you a second recommendation of the same film. I'm not going to watch it. If you watch Gilbert Grape, I'll watch, I'll watch Waste Man. But this is good. And you're telling me the one you want me to watch sucks. Well, Gilbert Grape's definitely better than Waste Man. I don't know. There's no way. I don't know about that. I think it probably is.

Gilbert Grape, well, Wasteman has high marks on rotten tomatoes, 100%. Yeah. What's Gilbert Grape got? Probably not 100%. What's Gilbert Grape? But I feel like when something has 100% on rotten tomatoes. What are the grape tomatoes? Grape tomatoes.

You got to click through it. It's a 90. 90. That's not a hundred. I mean 90, but it's been out for 30 plus years. Okay. So that's a lot of, there's been a lot of time for people like Roan to come in and say, lift it up? You know, bring it down.

Bring it down. Yeah. So I think that goes to show how long it's held up. How does it, how does the movie end? I have no idea. Does he get the girl? Does the kid die? I have no idea.

Did they cure him? I don't know. No, no. Of course not. They didn't have that back now. No, they don't have that now. Still? Are you sure?

For what grapes got? The thing with like. Is Leo? Gilbert? Well, the thing with like... Is that his name? Is he the Gilbert? Is he the titular character? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, the thing with movies like this is like, they never really like

specify what's wrong with the kid. Yeah. Like, it's like they don't, it's not like he has like Down syndrome. He's just like... He doesn't have cerebral policy. No, he's just like fucked up. But like, it's true. Like, they really never... He has garden and variety. He has just like, yeah. He has this like vague, special.

Let's be honest, it was the 90s. Back then, it was a one-size-fits-all type thing. Yeah. Because that is like... I always wondered, like, what it was that he has. That's why when RFK is always like, in the 90s, like, you didn't see that many people that had, like... Autism and shit. Autism and stuff.

It's just because, like, now it's a more broad term where it's like, in the 90s, it was only recognized if it was, was like, this guy's so fucked up, we have to make a movie about it. Yeah. Dude, also. It's like radio. It's like, what does he have? Correct. Also, like, you know, when people had those, uh, handicaps, right?

They didn't treat, they didn't have special medicine for each. No, no. They just kept them inside. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it was like, if you were autistic in the 90s, then you're like, that's probably what Gilbert Grape has in this movie. It's just like autism.

They just like did a. know like how to actually like describe it accurately right now just gave him a pack of baseball cards they would have solved it all I would say now tower now that we've kind of broken down and there's more familiarity with the different types of autism of well of all like mental spectrum disorders mental health mental whatever all these things um they think there's more respect for them like I would say autism people really respect it Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Autism is king of people. Because they are the ones that have like superpowers. Yeah, I mean, some of them for sure. There was a 60 minutes about it. Some of them get like kind of like lame superpowers though. Or it's like I know every plant. No, that's sweet. Oh, come on.

Have you seen the kid that does the bird calls? That's sweet. No, no. But wouldn't you rather be like, oh yeah, I'm autistic. My superpower is like I can predict the stock market with 100% accuracy. Well, that's the math. math ones and that's a lot of them do have the math. Oh, okay. They get the math. Like the guy in the big

short who uh like Michael Bury. Michael Burry. Michael Burry. Stop. The big short. Didn't you just watch that for the Oh no, no, no, no. That was someone, I was one of my buddies. Go on, bro. I'm not your buddy. Uh, it's another name for Joey Swole. The big short. The big short. But Christian Bale's character is that type of autism that you want. Yeah, yeah, definitely. He does. Christian Bale's character is so good in that.

Yeah. Yeah, he's got that cool autism. There was a guy on 60 Minutes who you could, they took him on a helicopter ride over a city and he drew like everything that he had seen on like this huge panorama. Oh, yeah. With like every window detailed. Yeah.

That's not necessarily useful, but that is like a super power. Yeah, that is pretty cool. If they just put Gilbert grape in a helicopter. Yeah. You know. What do you guys think's wrong with me? I've come to realize there's definitely. something. You think so? Yeah, man. What are the

what are the symptoms that you're noticing? I don't even really know, but this morning I was like, what's going on? Why am I here? Like, how is this still my fucking reality? How am I still excited about my coffee cups? And, you know, I mean, I think everyone is. No, we're all going to die to the plague regardless so there's no point like i'm i'm kind of in the mindset of like you just got to let shit happen for now because we're done do you told me yesterday it was fine we're done you're what

changed everything nothing nothing nothing new has happened there are they i think another person died no they didn't who no they did from what why are you saying they didn't from the russian plague what's that you're not online no at all i suppose i'm not you're not like you won't know about the Russian plague until it's like in your building. Uh-oh. So it's at your door. Yeah.

You're like one of those people where there's like a tornado in town. You're just like going for a run on the beach. You just see the fucking thing coming. The hell? There's some outbreak of a pneumonic plague. Is this what I have? Yeah. I mean, you could.

You were just out on, you were just over that way. Check if having like 28 mouth ulcers is a symptom of the Russian plague. This is what we're saying. You just came back from the east. You have mono. No, I don't have mono. I'm telling you, you did. I have duo.

No, you don't. I got duo from that god-down. You wish you got right on your leipa. I have duo from that goddamn sushi restaurant. You wish you have, no, mouth ulcers are not a typical symptom of the plague. Oh. Well, this is the new one though. Oh, but they're talking about the pneumonic plague.

A new monic. Yeah, apparently there was a Apparently there was a leak at the plague At the plague hospital in Russia They got one of those over there? It was a woman she had just bought a tray From Japan She had a fresh cocktail tray of fucking plague

And she's like, whoa Like fucking three stooges character I don't understand how that happened So like yeah well yeah there was a There was a leak in the In the plague serum That we had lying around It's like well why did you have

it in the first place. Well, we do need to study these things. Because they're going to use it. No, in case they, in case, didn't you ever see World War Z? Yeah. Of course. That's a great movie. It is.

They're making a sequel finally after all these years. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. A? Yeah. World War A. They're going back to the beginning.

It's actually a prequel. Did you ever see Contagion? Yeah. I was just thinking about that the other day. That's a good one. You ever see that one around? No, what is it? It's a pandemic movie.

Really? Damon. My favorite part of that is how Matt Damon reacts when his wife dies. Oh yeah. The doctor tells him there. He's like, I'm really sorry, but that was the thing we could do and she's dead. And he's like, and he goes, okay. So, so when can I see her? And he's like, I understand that this is a tough thing. He's like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? No, how was my wife dead? David? Remember the doctor tells him that he was, that his wife was also having an affair? Yeah. So he kind of knew. So he kind of knew. So he wasn't. that upset, which I thought was pretty good acting from Dame. Yeah.

He's the best. Damon? He's my fucking guy. Oh, yeah. I like him. He's just all class. He's all class. He's one of the guys who's never really had a dip.

No, no. Very consistent. Picks his rolls. Picks his rolls carefully. He does well. You don't just see him in everything. Let's buy a zoo. Was that him?

We bought a zoo. That's a tearjerker. That's a good one. Yeah. I mean, no way Damon reads, we bought a zoo. and like gets to the end of the script and it's like I'm going to do some bullshit

now. Look, we bought a zoo is a great movie. Yeah. Have you seen it? No. Jeez, have you seen? Do you have a TV?

I just watched my movies on Delta Flitz. I'll watch the fucking. Are you stuck on picture mode? Art mode? Does it come in a still? This contagion come in a still photograph where I can digest the entire thing? You're watching movies on one frame per second.

Could you get it into a thousand words? I think I saw around the time I had to choose between We Bought a Zoo and Life of Pie. Oh, yeah. Pie instead. Probably a better choice. It was great. I've never seen that one, actually. What?

No way. You haven't seen a movie I've seen? What the fuck is happening? You haven't seen anything. I've seen Life of Pie. You haven't seen We bought a zoo. Or Gilbert Graham. or Gilbert Grape?

I just haven't been a child at the same time as you. I don't know about all that. I don't know about all that. When Gilbert Grape came out when you literally were a child. Bro, there's some people you should talk to you about this. My kids.

You were under 18 when Gilbert Gray's got out. You and my kids should maybe just link up and like talk about Bluey. Broan, how close are we to talking to your kids? Like how close are we to like having a conversation? Just in the last couple weeks, they're like hitting sentences. Sentences? Yes.

Like requests and. shit. Really? Yeah. It's actually the rate that this part is happening is fucking freaking me out. It's quick. They have the Russian plague of the mouth. Yeah, they're developing it fast. Yeah. They're just one of them counted to 20. They're like making the asks. Counting to 20? Yes. What? I was like, what's happening? I was like eight, 17? He's like 18. I was like, what? I don't think I knew what 18 was until I was 10. He's like age of consent. You gotta know it.

You gotta teach them young. Yeah. I think it'll happen before you know it. Oh man. Social beings. They grow up so fast. That's gonna be crazy. It's fucking sick. You know, they can start speaking. They grow up so fast unless you don't have them. Yeah, that's true. Is what I've learned. Because everyone talks about how like, everyone I know is like, I can't believe how quickly,

you know, the kids blink of an eye. Like, if you blink, it's like well I'm not I'm not I'm not really growing up at all right now I'm completely stuck in a developmental

sort of quagmire I don't really know how to put it I feel you haven't flipped the hourglass yet it's like the time the sand starts moving when you flip the hourglass and that's your call when you do that but that's sand doesn't start going until well it's still until you flip it right now the hourglass is just lying

on its side. There's no sand moving in either direction. I'm in the doldrums. There's no wind in my sails. You're in no kids land. And I got to stop. I got to figure something out. What advice would you give him?

I'm not enjoying this at all. You're hearing his problem. What advice would you tell him? Are you happy? Harry? I'm always happy. Come on. You know me. Well, what's the problem. You want you want kids? The hourglasses on the side.

Something's got to change. I mean, I would just get a PC, honestly. Is that it? Yeah. I thought about that. By the way, I wanted to find a really sick gaming store. I thought about trying to get. Oh, yeah, in Japan. The lightest mouse that has ever been made. I got it, brother. Well, I kind of thought, like, there's no chance I'm going to get that right. There's nothing I can add to your setup correctly that would, like, thread the needle of there's nothing you could add to my setup that would do

anything good for me but I bet you there are things in Japan that you've never even seen oh no of course I mean I'm always looking for a new toy but you couldn't get it for her I kind of no no I think you could get it for it I'm just saying like I'm so bad at video game is that like there's nothing that can save me at this point oh that's how I feel about my life you could get up you could get a mouse that literally has no weight there's no it doesn't weigh anything and I would still lose every game right yeah you could put the neurolink chip in his brain.

He wouldn't need a mouse. You just have his eyes darting. Yeah. It still wouldn't do it. I think that maybe it was Japan a soul searching trip? Was it like you're like, oh, maybe I'll make this my personality for the next little bit. That's a good point. The problem is, though, you got good at golf.

Like, that's a lot of guys. Yeah, I think you just need another hobby. Hidden Age and they just get really good at something. You know, enough of the hobbies. I think that's what you need. with the hobbies. It's just been one hobby after another. At some point, you got to like take it a lifelong hobby. Like golf is a good hobby. Having kids like you're you've like maxed out your damn near maxed out your ability at golf.

Yeah, I agree. You know what I mean? It's not like you're going to be like, oh, I'll go pro. No. And and and if I were to be that the guy that all of a sudden plays every day, I just think I would, I know I would get sick at that. I'm not. The gains are so infinitesimal at this point that I'm not enjoying the sense of improvement. Maybe you need a new set. No, no, no. My iron's dialed right now.

That's the perfect time to switch it all up. Also, it's a good point, Roan, because the golf season is coming to an end. And I put so much stock into that through the summer and through the season that now that that chapter is closing

and golf courses are shutting down for the winter. I'm like... You're lost. I'm left with nothing. Why don't we get back on the slopes a little bit? Okay. I agree. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, okay. Do you ski at all in New York? No. Is there like anywhere good to ski? They say Hunter Mountains pretty good. Are you about to get back on the slopes? Oh, I mean, I'm always looking to get back on the slopes, but I haven't been able to in the last time I went skiing was probably four years ago.

That's going to be your new fishing. Your new golf. Ski week. Ski week. I've got skis on my parents' house. Great, great set of skis. Twin Tips. Because anyone needs to go backwards.

I bought them when I was younger. I got to stop going backwards. I was a younger boy when I was going backwards. My whole life is just heading the wrong direction. I don't even know if I could go forwards anymore. Like I was going, last time I skied, I forgot how, like, tiring it is. Like on your legs. My legs were shaking when I got to the bottom.

After one run? Yeah, yeah. Oh boy. I was like, holy shit. But it was also because the boots I was wearing were three sizes too small. I also think you spend... Crushing my feet. I think you spend a lot of your life seated.

I think your legs are atrophying the way that they do for people in wheelchairs. No, no, no, no. I'm 10,000 steps a day. If you wore shorts, we would see your legs and be like, oh, boy. I've worn shorts pretty... This is probably one of the few times I've worn pants. Do you have splints on under those? You got splints on?

I do not now. Okay. Be honest. No. Do you? I mean, I've been raised. Where are those shoes? What do you see, bro?

New gear? Do you like what you see? What brand is that? It's a... Skechers? Yeah. Noble, of course. Oh, really?

I think it's a Solomon Carthart thing. Oh, shit, you think. Like, that's a common collab. Some shit like that. Yeah, I think it's like Solomon and Supreme. I don't know. But I am like I can't believe I spent a year wearing white Solomon's. Why?

Just because Solomon's like is a hiking shoe. So? But like hiking in white is like antithet. Like that's like I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I kind of know what you're saying. I would hike in white shoes. I think it's right for them to be dark because of that whole Bible thing.

That's about them. What? King. Solomon Gaborah. King Solomon Gamora I would want I mean like I think I like having a little scuffed up white shoe

on a hike Why? I don't know Why would you Why would it matter If your shoes are getting scuffed up on a hike I'm just saying dark shoes Can handle a hike a little bit better

Hmm When was that time you hiked? I like all the time Are you kidding me? Really Before I Before I got went under Before I went under the knife

I was an avid hikesman Really? Oh yeah Hikesman What are your top five peaks? Rainier. Of course. Of course.

It's a classic. Washington. Washington. You didn't hike Washington. Of course it is. When? When, haven't I? You didn't hike around Washington.

The valley back in Valley Green in the Philadelphia area. Okay. Just a run Valley Green, bro. I mean, it's a hill. Valley Green. I don't know if I would call that a peak. It sounds like it's a valley, actually. More of a plateau.

It's a trail. Hill Valley. Oh, okay, yeah. It's a trail, you fool. So not really a hike. I'm talking about, like, what are your best, like, peaks? Do you think just because you had fucking backwards skis so you could glide up a mountain backwards that you're a hiker?

Brother, I did, I did, I hiked this summer in Wyoming. You went on, I'll hike this summer. Six miles. That's not that crazy. Six miles one way. Bro. 12 mile total. You just added that.

No, I didn't. It was definitely a three, three. No, because it took us. No, it was definitely six. You're a very slow walker. That's why I took a long time. A 12 mile hike is no joke. If that's what you did.

It's a 60 pound bag on my back, keep in mind. Yeah. Wow. I'm pretty sure it was. How did we even get here? I was trying to, I was trying to. Let me check my All Trails account. Ron, you want to check yours or do you not have one?

Your All Trails account has cobblips. And I have bad news about ASAP. It exists. Asap exists, bro. No, no need to make it personal. A-SAP, there is an app that is exactly the same as A-SAP that already is in the store. That can't be true. It 100% is.

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After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about. Please support our show and tell them our show sent to you. Can you describe what ASAP is as an app? Asap's dead. That was my daily reminder. Don't kill yourself. ASAP was a weekend project that is probably coming to an end. Yeah, because it exists.

It doesn't, though. What are you going to say it exists? with city mapper? I don't know. No, you don't even know. You're not even familiar with the competing apps. There are competing apps that just describe

what it is and we'll type that description in and we'll see if there's an app that already has that exact description. There isn't. There's apps that make it so that you can plan a trip with multiple modes of transportation. Like I'm going to take the train or walk to this and take a bike, but there's none that are going to tell

you the fastest possible. As a stakeholder, I'm just warning you that there's an app that exists. As a sap is redundant. If there was an app that existed, I would have you been using it. There could not have been more people who DM'd me saying the app was already, had already been made an ASAP. If you were, if you made ASAP, you would have made ASAP.

I'm not saying that I made ASAP, but someone far smarter than we are, did. And what's it called? Francis is a shareholder. He wouldn't like try to tear down his own. Well, he's literally trying to kill the, kill the company as we speak. I'm saying we need to pivot. Lots of, lots of great businesses started as one thing and then pivoted when they saw the writing in the wall. What was Amazon originally?

Amazon originally was a porn. What was Netflix? Netflix also porn. Yeah. Streaming porn. Born from home. You need to get to your porn phase so you can become something else. I say we pivot into porn.

Right. I'm not trying to get into that business. Why? I'm much more equipped for the Navajo. navigation business? Or what if we just pivot straight to like, you know, what we could do is we could pivot straight to like NFL or football teaching films and we could call it Agap. Yeah, Agap.

That sounds like that could be more of a you guys thing. Or what about the porn site? If you want to do porn, we could do AGApe. Or A-FAP. Yeah, A-FAP's pretty good. I don't want to build a porn website personally. There's already plenty of those out there. A porn aggregator that shows you how to bust.

the quickest. Yeah. That puts together the, like, the exact amount of videos that will have you coming and getting on with your day. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm sure you'll be able to, like, ask Claude do that for you any day now. Claude, make me come now. Claude, make me come, but I only have about five minutes until I have to leave.

I have two minutes and 35 seconds till I. Make it your fastest. Make me come in fewer than three videos. I have water boiling. Can I come before the water boils? Did you guys see the people The website that's making like AI influencers Where it's just like fake influencers

My question with that is Does someone have to tell that influencer What to do? Yeah, I think so So someone has to program it And it's basically just like Well not program it They just have to write a prompt

Right Or like but it's like It's like a cartoon basically Yeah pretty much It's like there has to be a script writer It's not like these are auto-automating. Well, I don't know because I think some of them are just doing trends, like the most popular trends on like TikTok.

So you could hypothetically just get it to auto-create videos with whatever trends are trending. I have seen that. But since there is like just somebody behind the scenes that's doing it, I don't think that it's that big of a deal. I think far bigger deal is the people who are making AI comedians that are just stealing other comedians acts and just. Now there's like a girl with like a 42 inch ass and fucking a six-pack telling like some slubby fucking Pacey Irish guy's joke. Yeah, I saw that too.

It's pretty crazy. Did you see this, Francis? No, I've been. Perfect time to get out of stand-up because AI, because Bucksum AI is taking over. No, it is insane. The Busty AI woman now has a serious XM channel or something like that. Did you hear this? Sebastian gave her a channel.

Sebastian gave this girl a channel and all the working comics have been kicked off because this smoking hot AI woman is going to do all the radio now. If you honestly just look up AI stand-up comedy girl big ass, it'll come up because her ass is like, it's not like it's like unrealistically big. She's doing George Carlin bits on Sirius XM. No, this isn't. Are these her? because she is much more realistic Don't be afraid to type it in Don't be afraid to turn off safe search

I don't know She's not coming up Yeah so anyways There's this girl But I don't even know if she's re Is she a real person I think she's a real Only fans model

Yeah Yeah So she's stealing people's bits With AI putting herself on stage Doing these jokes Oh boy But then

But then like She's actually like a porn star So I think that this is going to lead to regulation. Viral AI generated Tiffany Sloan. Yeah, here she is. I have seen this girl. Did you know she was AI? I mean, that's literally helium on the left.

Isn't it? Yeah, that is. Isn't that Sacramento? Yeah, they took the guys. Oh, I haven't been to that way. The one on the left, there's a guy who tells that same joke in the same outfit. Oh, really? I mean, not like sexy outfit.

Yeah. Like a slubby version of an outfit. Imagine seeing that. Imagine seeing this lady and then she knows your joke. Oh my God. Oh my God. Is it Sacramento? Can't tell. So she's not actually on stage. No. She's not. I don't think she exists. No, I thought she exists. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the only fans model. And then they're like, okay, I want to steal some people's jokes. So she's the one orchestrating this? Or did someone- She's a tech genius. Or was there some weird comedy porn fan who was like,

I'm sick of watching these things separately. No, I think she's... I don't want to have to jump back and forth between the two windows. Yeah. I think that she is... Just viciously jerking off and hysterically laughing at the same time. God, I love my life. that's the future

that is going to cause like vicious addiction dopamine yeah dopamine vaccine all the stimulation at the same time just hitting the weed pen jerking off to your AI

comedian it's like the it's like a pleasure version of that guy that plays 12 instruments at the same time like a lockboard like there's a harmonica pen that's just hitting

as a fleshlight just goes like this we need to create that product ASAP should be pivoting to like the 12 the multi-instruments I like that it's just the worst thing ever created yeah with a pleasure like

yeah do you think that so that's going to result in like massive dips into sadness once you're jerking off and scream laughing definitely that can't last the body isn't equipped to create that much dopamine no no it's too much dopamine that's being released I think you're honestly, I think you're out of dopamine by like noon these days. That's probably your problem.

I don't remember the last time I had dopamine. I'm out, you know, no, you're dopeless. Don't you sleep with the phone outside of the, you don't bring the phone into the bedroom? That's right.

Still, you still doing that? Yeah. Nobody's going to call. It's journeyed into the bedroom a couple times. No. Has to have. No,

I promise you, I won't allow it. I won't sleep if it's in there. That is a good point. I've picked up that habit. it makes getting up, waking up, easier to too. Sure does. Because then you're like, I'm not going to just languish in bed and look at my phone.

I got to get to my phone. I learned my fucking phone. I saw a clip of Denzel Washington saying in an interview, like, do everything you can once you wake up to not look at your phone for at least half an hour. And I do that. Did I tell you guys? They also say getting sunlight in the morning. Very important. Like right when you wake up.

Interesting. They say right when you wake up if you can get it. If you can get in direct sunlight, super good for you. Do your Denzel, brother. We haven't got that in a while. I don't have one right now. I haven't seen a Denzel in a minute.

Really? Yeah. You've been watching Gilbert Grape and fucking let's buy a zoo. And I can't give you my Gilbert grape. Too controversial. Yeah. Have you guys, did I tell you guys that I lost my iPad on a Delta flight?

No. Did you get it back? Well, I did to find my iPhone, my iPad. And it was when I flew home from Vegas. I left it on the plane. Oh.

So then I, I didn't realize this. for days. Yeah. And then finally I was like, where the hell is my iPad? And I did find my on my phone. And it was at Logan in Boston. Oh, shit.

So it's still on the plane. Well, no. Then I called Delta Diamond. Of course, of course. And I said, what's going on here? And they said it was probably taken to one of our hubs. Boston is a hub for Delta. Were you just in Boston?

I was. Yeah, I could have picked it up. I should have. So then I feel. out this thing that it was like my this is a lost machine if you find it please call this number or whatever and did that on my ipad and then i filled out you got another ipad no i'm sorry you got multiple iPads on the screen of my lost iPad do you mind i'm just yeah yeah yeah i mean how you got if you don't let me finish household i don't know what i'll do i would love to go to your apartment and you have iPads in just every room

Well, anyway, the point is that I'm getting it back. I give up, man. I don't know. There was something in the middle there, but I don't care. I don't care. And nor should anyone, I'm getting it back. Delta is getting it back to me. I'm getting it back.

But by the way, I did an alert. you know, I made it, I made like the, I made it chime. Oh yeah. And on the screen it says like, if found, I had written a message that was like, this is lost. Please. Oh, wow. Like call this number. I'll pay a reward.

And I made it chime. And then it showed me that someone had picked it up, looked at it. I don't know if they looked at it. It picked it up and then put it back down. Weird. It was like this iPad was just access. But then three days later, Delta hit me. They were like a device matching your description has been found.

And then I pay for the shipping and it's coming. Oh, nice. No reward. Well, I guess the shipping is the reward. So FedEx collects are. Yeah, pretty much. They're getting the reward. I lost a pair of sunglasses in Tokyo while I was getting my iPad back.

Oh. One out, one in. Oh, were they nice sunglasses? Yeah, the nicest ones I have. Oh, well, can you get them shipped from Tokyo? I don't know where they are. The Jacques Marie Maje. Exactly.

They're at the Duolipa restaurant. Yeah, you're going to see Duolipa on a photo dump wearing your sunglasses. Imagine. Yeah, telling comedy on a stage, telling one of your jokes in one of the years sunglasses. Gen Z is gaslighting. I just achieved Diamond Medallium on Delta. If Duoliper does that. So what's going on with Sebastian Menace, Manuscalco?

Why is everybody mad at him? Well, there's a, I guess there's a channel on Sirius that like plays comedians. Yeah, raw dog tapes. I had, and I'm not making this up, I had sent, I had submitted for that a long, long time ago. And this last year, for the first time I got royalty payments for it. Guess how much I got paid? $1,000. $7.89.

Oh, shit. That's not great. I mean, I think that means they played like three seconds of a clip and then they were like, no. take it down pull it from the station everyone just shut off their radio simultaneously threw them out the window

we just lost 7,000 subscriptions were canceled 5 seconds into listening to this raw dog clip of Francis Ellis $7 doesn't buy you anything or a cup of coffee yeah is $7 yeah a cup of black

cold coffee is $7 definitely And Sebastian's taking that from you. He's taking coffee out of your kids' mouths. I guess. I guess. Stop reminding me that I don't have children. I was never on this mixtape, but not that I would have anything to be on there.

But apparently, yeah, apparently people were like, people that are on it a lot, they'd make like a good amount of money, like a couple hundred bucks a month, 500 bucks a month, something like that. And then Sebastian bought it and just made it. Filled it with sand. Well, no. I mean, he filled it with better tapes, essentially. Like, you just put in, like, very established comedians. So people are pretty much, like, he probably... Wow, so established means better to you?

Wow. No, I guess not. But... Holy shit. I guess, I mean, the thing is, there's still a lot of comedians on it. I think there's still, like, 200 or something. Yeah. So it still...

Whereas there were 800. Yeah. So he cut a lot of the people, and then he put in more successful comedians. And he put in a lot of... a lot, he's playing a lot of like classic comedians, many of whom have died. Yeah, like really old comedians. Yeah, George Carlin and Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce, et cetera. So he, he shut down like the college radio station to make it a pop radio station.

Pretty much. Or even more like a classics. Yeah, I think that's what it is. Classics. It is like a classics page. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know. I mean, I guess, I mean, yeah, I guess he kind of fucked over like 500 comedians.

Yeah, I think it's probably just, people are just pissed that it's a, he's a comedian doing that. Yeah, I mean, it is a little bit of a weird move for a comedian. I'm sure he just didn't even realize that that was going to be a consequence of that. Yeah, probably not. But I don't know. I heard about this before it was happening before, like there's going to be a big push to, like, call him out. I think that if a consulting firm came in and did that, it would be like, Okay, well, they would be like, okay, there's more, there's going to be more Joan Rivers and George Carlin on.

Yeah, I think if it's like serious just made that decision. Right, exactly. It's just the fact that he's a comedian, I think, that people are probably pissed off at. But I'll, I mean, it's not a good look for, if you're a comedian and you just lost 500 comedians money. Yeah. That's kind of a tough look. Yeah. But also, especially when it's like, I don't know what he's gaining from it.

If the channel does way better, though, with 300 as opposed to 800. But like, how much better will it do? Like, I can't imagine there's going to be people now subscribing to Sirius. Like, think of this. Holy shit. Thank God that random comedian from the sellers out. Now I get to listen to Joan Rivers. Norman posited in a clip that I saw from him that by them doing a lot of these dead comedians,

they don't have to pay royalties. The royalties to those people. and cutting from 800 to 300 means they're paying 500 fewer people royalties for the spend. But even that, like, so do you like how much money could it possibly be that? Like if there's,

if say half of the comedians on there can't get royalties because they're dead, which is probably more than are actually dead, then what? Sebastian's making an extra like 10K a month. No, there's no way to know the metrics of that. Yeah.

Because I'm just what like, because I wouldn't have thought that Sebastian. Manascalco buying a serious XM channel would have been a lucrative decision at all. I just don't know why he would, like, I don't know what the reason is. I doubt he bought a channel. I bet he's getting paid to have a channel. Yeah, maybe it's like Sebastian's picks. Yeah. Because there's like a Bruce Springsteen channel on series. Yeah. Yeah, I just don't like, I don't know. Like unless it's like they're giving him like a hundred million dollars or some shit. Like I don't think Alex. Has real fucking money.

Well, I know they gave like Alex Cooper all that money. They just paid the Giggly Squad girls like $120 million or something. Yeah. So maybe they're getting, maybe they just paid him a shit ton of money. You ever see the Giggly Squad girls fucking driving in Lamborghinis on two wheels in Dubai and be like, I should have gone on Summerhouse? You don't ever think that?

I just think that if I'd gone on Summerhouse, I would have been like a one and done kind of guy. I think I would have been a one season and done. No, you'd have like a falcon on your arm with like a shake from Abu Dhabi. Yeah. You'd be at your house in Tokyo. Yeah, that'd be cool. You'd just go back and buy the sunglasses factory out of supply.

If you'd done one season of summer house, they fucking print money over there. What is the point where you get to with your podcast where you got $100 million? Well, you take where we're at and you multiply it by $100 million. Then you're there. Like I just feel like we can't be that much smaller than Giggly Squad. Are you out of your God damn mind? For the money difference to be $150 million. Like that is, that's all the money.

But there's something about women that can, that can trick you into buying something. That is true. They're the trickiest gender. Yeah, that they can just trick you into buying something. And like a woman's like, I got this blanket.

And you're going to be like, I fucking need that. Yeah. Yeah. they do sell. There's something about us that we just can't trick you into buying a blanket. No. Yeah.

Yeah. The thing is, though, we can. Francis is one of the most marketable men. Oh, yeah. It's hard to believe. I don't. It's true, though. It's true, though.

Brancis, they call him. They call me Brancis. But for whatever reason, giggle. And the difference is they went on Summerhouse and Francis decided not to. Yeah. We would all be eating. We had a shot. We would all be eating.

We had a real shot at that one 50. Yeah. We would be so fucking full. 50 apiece. All you had to do was go on Summer House. I mean, if only. You probably would have 50 kids right now if you went on Summer House. You'd be living on one of those like family compounds.

Yeah. You're going to take the golf cart over to my youngest's house. living like Anthony Edwards That is a dream That could be you I'm fucking pissed I gotta get on Summerhouse So bad

You should They probably have a couple openings They probably have a couple spots Probably yeah Or southern charles I's got on GLP ones too No you need to get on the Joey Swole

You need to see if Joey Swole will donate his body to science And then see if like he has one more heart incident if you could just move into the body like a hermit crab yeah just a perfect transition yeah if you just scuttle in there yeah put my brain in swoll's frame and see if i could get on summer house so i can get a 150 mil i would do that i would do a full swap or become a uh a i i i i Swap? Yeah.

Is that a Disney movie? Like, I think if you became a full AI influencer, that'd be good, too. I mean, I could try it. Just put a girl, put that girl's body on your jokes. Maybe I'll try it. I'm going to put my face on that influencer creator app. Frances, I think something that could cure your ails is opening a boutique bakery. I think where you would have to get up at your normal four o'clock hour.

just fucking bake for six hours because you could perfect something you could get like your kitchy small town itch and then you could also it'll be more than a hobby you know what it's weird I don't feel sad I don't feel depressed I just feel like

totally confused about what to do I think I've voiced this before and I don't even care like I don't need this to get into it or solve it I just uh I just look around sometimes at like what I'm doing and I'm like, what a fucking waste of time.

Do you ever feel that way, Harry? Never. Everything you do is intentional and making progress? Yes. That's not true. Well, I try to do as little as I can. So when I do things, it's very intentional. I love that.

What a great philosophy. It's not about adding more. It's about taking things away. So that's the things, become really, really, like you lower your standard for yourself. Exactly. So that like if you do one thing a day,

all of a sudden you've had a big day. Oh yeah. You do your one thing and you're like, I am gassed. Are you, how many waking hours do you have? Because I worry there'd be too many hours of me in the day of being awake.

I mean, I wake up around like eight or nine and I go to bed around midnight to 2 a.m. Boy, you don't sleep that much. No. I guess, I don't know, midnight to eight hours. That's fine, nine hours. Yeah.

That's plenty. It's usually somewhere between six to eight hours. Oh, that's not so bad. No. It's not too good, though. I think you could do better. I'm fine with it. I think a little bit more rest would help you out.

Me and Gary V can function off of minimal sleep. Don't even put yourself in the same sentence as V. Why? You're just not. You're just not. Couple go hards. I mean, Gary V would tell you you're just a baby right now. I mean, I am.

Yeah. World's my oyster. Well, you're Gary Vee before he even became Gary Vee, basically. World's my massive oyster. My massive sliced in half oyster. I looked up fishing stores in Tokyo. There were two or three of them. And they had some fly fishing stuff.

And I wanted to see if they had, you know, gear that was specific to Japan. but it just looked like they sold all the regular stuff. Yeah, I don't know how big fly fishing is out there. I think there's fly fishing in Japan. Really? I think so. Probably not in Tokyo, but no, no. If you get out there.

Not too far out, yeah. Yeah, that would be sick. They probably have nice rivers on stream. I don't even know what kind of fish they got out there. I think a massive failing of Tokyo is not having more infrastructure built on that nice river that they have or bay or whatever the fuck it is. The one that has all the cherry blossom trees on it. Oh, that one's nice, but I'm saying the one,

the main riverway like in downtown or is that a bay or whatever I think they should build it up like Chongqing is that in China they have all the shit on the river it should be like Chongqing just an excuse really to say Chongqing

if you know what I mean brother okay guys let's take a second and talk about our friends at Fabletics football season is finally back and Fabletics has just teamed up with the NFL's number one wide receiver, Jamar Chase, on a new collection.

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Right. Right. I don't have anything to add. I would love a good quarantine, to be honest. It would be fun, but I think that we're at the point where so many people had such an adverse reaction to the aftermath of the last one where they're like, what? Like they were fucking duping us. That if another one happened, there would be so many people who are like, I'm not falling

for that shit again. And then they'd be just outside no matter what. Yeah, I think you're right. The death toll. But what if, I mean, they're saying this one would have a zero percent survival rate. Like, what if it was that? Do you think we would have to, like, would you go inside or would you go back out? I'll go up to Francis's upstate spot with my children.

Oh, really? Francis, where would you go? I don't really need to live that much longer. Oh, man. Come on. But the world ends. Yeah. What am I hanging on for? Yeah, if there's a 0% survival rate. You know, what's the point of my coffee at that point?

Yeah. If, I mean, if it's truly a 0% survival rate, then I think, like, there's not really any point in quarantining. Yeah. Like, we're fucked. No, there's always a survival rate. 0% if it's untreated. Oh, okay. And they already have the treatment? I think it's just like antibiotics.

Oh, shit. Okay. So it seems like this will be pretty manageable then. I'm staying out. Just take an antibiotic. You're good. I think Francis would be... Do probiotics help?

Yeah. I think if you just have some kimchi, you'll be good. If you drink the mother. I think that, uh, Francis, if you got into like an I am legend situation, that might be really nice. Uh-huh. Like the, you just hear like the dust of the storms whipping through a decrepit city. And then in the background, it's just you like grinding up some coffee beans or something before you go out and be nice.

Walk your German Shepherd. That would be sick. Maybe. I think that. What's the downside? Loneliness. But you already have that. Yes, but.

What will we do with the podcast? Like, will we do remote or what? Like if there was a, if we had to all leave because of the plague. We're just out in gas masks. No, we would all still come in. We'd go, but we'd come in. We'd still have to come in. Interesting.

So I don't know if I love that. Why? I mean, if we're quarantining, I'm not trying to be coming in. So we'll do it in Astoria? You're not coming into my place with your germs. I'm coming into your place. No, you're not. Yes, I'm remote.

Brother, I'm coming to Astoria. We're going to move the podcast remote for the time being, just until the plague kind of calms down. Okay, just looking at these pants. What percentage do you think is wool versus cashmere? I'm giving you. I don't know. Those are the two ingredients.

Ron? No touching. You got to just look. I'm going 50. You got to eyeball them. It's wool and cashmere? Well, and cashmere. It's 6040 cashmere to wool.

I think it's 53, 47. Which one? Wow. More wool than cashmere. I smoked you. You don't even know pants. Those are the thickest. corduroys I've ever seen in my life.

I know. The tracks are a little... Thick-ass stripes. It's like if this were pasta, it'd be too thick. Yeah. Yeah, it's homemade pasta. It's not angel hair. It's the big fat...

Udon noodles. That's devil's tail pasta. Yeah. That's thick as hell. I would love that, except for you fall asleep on that. Now you can give them a feel. Feel those pants.

That's so nice. That's Japanese? That's not what you thought it was, is it? No, it's not. It's soft as hell. Harry, get over there. I already felt earlier. No, you didn't.

Yeah, come on. I already got my hands on them. This is part of the game. All right. I've been thinking about getting into the like performance art world or like art world. Oh, yeah, sure. I know my first exhibit is going to be called macroplastics. Oh.

And it's going to be like people wearing like shirts that are like fully made of like plastic. Not just like a little bit of plastic, but just like a fucking full Lego top. Lobeck shirts and skirts. I think that it could fucking go nuclear in the art world. I like that. I fuck with that. I think, like that Kanye West music video. Well, so this was done before?

This was done. I was sort of going to say it almost sounds a little bit like the derelique show from Zoolander. Yeah, like this, Ron. No, no, that ain't plastic. I'm talking about plastic. What do you think that is? That's not plastic. That has a soft fabric feel.

That's probably like a soft fabric feel on the outside, but what do you think it's all fabric? That's probably like a 63 to couch on him. 37 blend. I would assume that's mostly a plastic shell. I'm talking about something that's actually plastic on the outside. That's shiny plastic. So pretty much does this with no fabric on the outside. I'm talking like twiggy 60s-inspired British-looking PVC pipe clothing.

So like this, but with no fabric on the outside? Yeah, basically. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. what are you guys going to be for Halloween I don't know Calvin and Hobbs probably probably Calvin and Hobbs both that's the two of you together

we're all Hobbs Hobbs and Hobbs and Hobbs and Hobbs and Hobbs we should do an episode Hobbs and Hobbs or what if we did like Hobbs and Shaw but it was like instead of the guys from Fast and Furious one of them is from Calvin and Hobbs

Oh I like that Yeah so it's like Vin Diesel and Hobbs from Calvin and Hobbs I mean, I would definitely do three Calvins, three Hobbs, maybe one Calvin, two Hobbs, two Hobbs, one Calvin. I'm really fine with any mix. How about Calvin, Hobbs, and Shaw? Okay. Who's Shaw?

Francis. All right. And who's Calvin and who's Hobbs? I'll be Shaw. I got to watch Hobbs and Shaw. Hopefully I watched that on the flight to England. Shaw Swole. Shaw Rule.

That'll be nice. I got to. I got back to church this weekend. It was so nice. Oh, yeah. It was bad time. Love that. About time.

It was a meeting to talk to you about that. Yeah, I know. Well, your silence has been deafening up to this point. Yeah. But it was the Feast of St. Francis. We've been waiting for you. Yeah. I saw you guys both there.

Kept a pew warm. Kept a pew warm. You guys were singing in the choir up in the galley. But it was the Feast of St. Francis of a Sissy. Yep. Are you familiar with him? I sure am. Francis of a sissy.

Do you know about it? That's the man for whom I was named. Were you actually? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, a friend of mine, my parents' friend had already chosen in a name their kid, Francis, after St. Francis of a pussy. So I was after St. Francis of a sissy.

A little bit. Love that. More masculine. Yeah. It's a little less on the nose. I didn't know that's where your name came from. Now, my name was after my uncle. Who was named after?

Probably the saint. Francis of a sissy. I would think so. Yeah. I mean, it probably definitely comes back to the saying at some point. Francis of a sissy that when you were named Francis in that time, it just meant a guy from France. There's like, Franchish is kind of what the word means. Interesting.

Frantish. Really? Yeah. Francis of a sissy. And that's Greek? Francis. Yeah. And that's Latin origin?

An adjective? Yeah. For like someone who's kind of like francy. And that in that way, it is the perfect name. for you. You are franticish. I don't know if I like that. Francis Ellis. Francis.

Francis Elish? You kind of are. That can't be what it's from. It is. Now, there's no way. Why would the priests lie at church? I don't know. Francis Eilish.

Billy's gay younger brother. Francis Elish. They said that Francis of a sissy became a saint just because he was a rich Italian dude and all of his friends like the party. and he just didn't like to party that much. And they're like, these guy's a saint. So he was like, I'm going to have to become a saint now? No, they're like, oh my God, he doesn't even like to party that much.

You're a fucking saint. Well, that would mean that Harry's a saint. Yeah. Why he stopped drinking. I party. You're basically a saint. But I still party. Not really.

All the time. No, your boys came and you were like, I can't. I'm a saint. When was the last time you partied even a little bit? Last night. No, you didn't. Yeah, I was partying. No, you weren't.

I mean, define partying. Doing cocaine alone. Yeah, last night. It seems like ketamine is kind of making a big comeback. It wasn't a thing when I was in... No, it wasn't a thing when I was either. Ketamine, yeah. It's like all of a sudden it's making a big, big comeback, Ron.

Talk to us a little bit about it. It was a thing when I was younger. Was it really? It existed. I mean, I wouldn't have known, like, I would have been afraid to... Oh, yeah. Yeah. To try it.

Here's my question. Ketamine horse tranquilizer. They mix it with cocaine too. What do they, and they call it something. There's a name for that. How are there that many pills of horse tranquilizer laying around? Because if you think about it,

like one of them probably equals like 50 lines of ketamine. Like is there a Sackler family for horses? Yeah, definitely. There's just like a Sackler family that's pumping out horse trank. Yeah, horse tranquilizer. Like who is, maybe we should crack down on them. So is it like a,

Is it like a super strong like Benzo? Like is it like if you snorted Xanax Or something like that? Ketamine? Yeah. It's like a psych or is it like a psychedelic? No, it kind of just takes like the horizon of the room from here And puts it like right here. Oh, that's cool.

It's kind of nice. No, that doesn't sound cool. So it kind of just fucks with your vision a little bit. Yeah, it's just like changes the aspect ratio a little bit. Is they're saying that's what it looks like? Ketamine addict warns of drugs. Dot, dot, dot, dot. Ketamine is used.

now for as a treatment for depression, psychosis, all these things. I don't know about all that though. Like people are like, oh, I did the ketamine treatment. I feel so much better. It's like, yeah, because you were high on drugs.

No wonder you feel good. I think there's more to it than that. I think on this case that somehow it has been proven to have incredibly efficacious results. But, you know, to your point, who knows? No, no, I do. Did you see Gary Goldman's, special the Great Depression?

I don't think so. That was really good. He talks about how he was like catatonicly depressed and in the fetal position in his bed couldn't leave his room for days. Yeah. And went to a hospital like a psych ward, checked himself in and his wife checked him in or whatever and that he went on a ketamine drip and it like changed his life. Interesting.

Maybe it rewires your brain or something. Yeah, maybe. One of those things. I don't know. I've never tried it. I don't really have any plans to. It kind of scares the shit out of me. But I was with someone.

They're using 12 light beers for... What? 12 light beers to cure depression, too. It's short... It's fast acting, not long lasting, though. Sitting in a hospital. hospital chair. You need one more.

You've only had 11. A big boy. Finish your beers. I don't want any more. I'm so full. I don't know. Finish your beer. Tilt your head back.

Yeah. It works for that for that temporary. Oh yeah. People have it in a nasal spray. I have seen that. That's, yeah, I've heard of that. If they just had cocaine in a nasal spray, I think be much more universally acceptable.

I've seen that. Cocaine just seems like... What? I've seen someone who made a nasal spray that had cocaine in it. Interesting. Yeah. Very innovative tech there. Maybe cocaine is like hunting where like it maybe it should be a little bit hard to do.

You know what I mean? Yeah. If the meat's just delivered to your doorstep, what's from stopping you from doing like 12 fucking squirts of the nasal spray? Yeah. Yeah. What if you wake up one day and you have like, you have like a stuffy nose and you're looking for the flones?

Yeah. You're on ketamine and cocaine all of a sudden. Yeah, back in my Coke days, you know, what stopped me was I never, I didn't always have like a mirror. Yeah, of course. Or, you know, a credit card or whatever. Right. If you only have cash, then, well. I'm going to make one of those like wallets, but like it's going to have like a built-in mirror for cocaine.

It's going to be called Coke wallet. Or a Swiss Army mirror. Let's pivot ASAP to Coke wallet. Yeah. I think that's our new route. All right, everybody. People know how to get where they need to go. What they don't know how to do is cocaine in public.

In public out of their back pocket. Introducing Coke wallet. It has like a little like it has like a little hidden compartment for the cocaine. And then it has like a mirror that pops out. Perfect. Yeah. So it's kind of just like your to go box. I'm sure that something like that has been invented by like British hooligans.

Yeah. Soccer fans. Probably. I'm also sure that a lot of women's wallets have mirrors in them for like doing makeup. Oh. That's what women would have to go back to navigation. Women want you to think that. We're getting away from who we truly are here.

The women are just doing cocaine. As a shareholder, I don't know what happened there. I didn't like... Private equity got involved. They're taking us in a different direction. The women are just obsessed with cocaine. We were never in this for money. We were in this to change the world.

Did I tell you guys that I watched Pretty Woman and the Empire Strikes Back on the plane over? No. Both great movies, though. Yeah. Yeah, what a great. I'd never seen Pretty Woman. I'd never seen it. I was thinking of Little Woman. With Timothy Chalame. Little Woman is the one about the midget prostitute. Right. Who's Swole. Yeah. It is a good movie.

Pretty Woman. It was fantastic. What one's that? It's Julie Robertson and Richard Gear. And she's a... She's a hooker, yeah. Oh, wow. I've never, never seen it. I'll have to check that out. But he falls in love with her. It's interesting. Because she's, I thought maybe she'd, I thought they would maybe kind of like gloss over and make her this like elegant prostitute. But no, she's a.

She's the real deal. Through and through. Yeah, yeah. Working the corner. Yeah. Interesting. What was the movie? Trading Places.

Did that come out before Pretty Woman? That's the one where Richard gears the prostitute. And she's. The king. Yeah. Africa. I don't know if. Trading places.

I think it's like Eddie Murphy. and Dan Aykroyd, Dan Aykroyd. But Jamie Lee Curtis is a prostitute in that one. Oh, is that so? Of course. Really?

I believe you see it. I didn't know that. I didn't know Jamie Lee Curtis had that in her. Oh, she does. That's right. I believe that she has some full frontal nudity in that movie.

Oh, wow. Whoa, that's my favorite kind. Yeah, I love that. I don't like full back nudity. No, I hate it. Partial. Rear. Full rear.

Full rear nudity. No, I think it might just be a partial nudity. Oh. Still a great flick, but I just can't believe this many women were so keen to be prostitutes. But I was listening to a podcast on the neighborhood I'm going to be staying in London, and it was a prostitution area, a big prostitution area in the 1700s. I think a lot of areas of England are. Yeah.

A lot of prostitution over there. A lot of crime. A lot of crime, a lot of prostitution. But they were in this podcast, they were making it seem like love didn't come out until the 1700s. Oh. The concept of love wasn't even around like. Like until the 1700, it was an 18th century conceit. I could see that, honestly.

Is that like, like, oh, I love someone. There's, like, chemistry and social compatibility. I mean, if you're growing up in the 1600s, like, shit's pretty intense. But hold on a second. You don't got a lot of time to be thinking about chemistry. When was Shakespeare theoretically alive? Tyler, could you look that up? Was it the 1400s?

Maybe it was like the 16s or the 17s. Maybe it was 17s. no see like there you go 1564 so like he wrote Romeo and Juliet which was rife with love huh so this are you telling me this podcast are you telling me the rest is history the podcast is fucking lying to me well I don't know maybe it was just a fictionalized concept and then it actually became real um yeah did that didn't that didn't ring as true that love didn't come out until the night or until the 1700s But at the time I was forced to take it, these guys had British accents.

I was forced to take it as gospel. As one does. What was like, I was always, and I've, I've raised this question before, but I've never understood how in the age of prostitution and brothels being as common a visiting place as the local bar. How did they prevent constant? pregnancy because I don't think that they had I learned about this they didn't sheepskin no they didn't prevent it so women some women would be at the brothel and it's like if you were a fertile woman getting fucked that much you're going to have kids and they're going to grow up in the brothel you're going to

have like if you have daughters don't grow up in the in the brothel or the brothel boys yeah and people are born into a life of I was born in a brothel yeah yeah grew up. I know, yeah. I lived I lived in a brothel until I was 18. I never shared that with you guys. That's why you're always around so many women. Sowing circle. Yeah. They were just getting called to fuck in between.

Lost my virginity at six. No, Sass is a sex worker. No. No, you didn't know. I had to tag in. Well, no, I used to be. My mom was having my brother. So I gave up my body.

They said that it was so much more common at the time. Like there was an account of this guy who had like six or seven daughters. And he was like writing to someone being like, yeah, some of my women are going to like some of my daughters are going to be forced into hoarddom because I only have money for like three dowries. And it's like if you have to marry someone off, you have to give money with the daughter. So it's like I only have money for three dowries at least like three or four of my daughters are going to have to be prosecuted. It's kind of sad that he couldn't just be like. why well maybe i should just make each daughter have a smaller dowry and make them marry a poorer guy instead of like yeah the first three are going to get everything and then the rest are going to be

hoarse yeah hortem i've never heard i've never heard that word before hornum it's forced into hortem it's like when you have like uh auction draft for your fantasy football team yeah you spend all ninety eight dollars on jimir gibbs yeah it's like i have two dollars left i could get calil shakir There's nothing left over for the rest of the dowry. It's brutal, though. But they said that there was different levels of whoredom. So it's like some whores were like the high-end cortisone of like a flourishing member of society. And then some just had only fans.

Yeah, yeah. Some are doing AI stand-up on only fans. Exactly. It was a fascinating topic, though. They published a book. There was like a book of. of like the 400 like top horse in the area. Oh my God.

Like a directory. And they all had like a little bit of a description about them. That's crazy. And there was this one famous woman like this famous like high end hooker that wanted to get into the book. So she had to get an exam from a doctor to be vetted to make sure she had no like venereal diseases so she could be approved to be a member of this book. And she signed a contract being like basically like if it turns out you're lying about

any of this, you have to pay the publisher $20 or something. something, which I guess was... That's a lot of money. Whoa. A lot of cash back in the day. Yeah. Fascinating. That is interesting.

So that's where I'm staying in England. Fuck yeah. Are you going to go to the whorehouses? I don't think I'm going to go to... Like go visit the old ones. I was looking, I was trying to find where they were exactly. Yeah. Area called the Strand in Covent Gardens.

The Strand. The Strand is, that's where Shakespeare was. Was he? Yeah. That's where... Wasn't that where the Globe Theater was? Was it? Yeah.

The Strand. Stratford on Avon. What the fuck? That's a lot of history in one area. I know. We're just here and the whores. This is kind of just us showing that we're like multi-dimensional. We could talk about the stuff that's going on in comedy.

We could talk about history of saints and horse. I mean, hoarding is essentially acting if you think about it. Like it is like I think they could. Yeah, rename this street Broadway. I'm wrong about the strand. That's not where. Stratford-on-Avon is the name of the area, and that's where the Globe Theater is.

But I thought there was some connection between Shakespeare and the Strand. It doesn't matter. Strand East. Norman's playing the Strand. Strand bookstore. Let's see. Maybe that's what we're thinking.

Yeah, it could be. All right. We've done enough. Yeah. Oh, mighty. All right, we will see you guys next week. Thank you for listening. I'm going to be on the road coming up soon.

I'm going to Columbus, I think next week for a one-nighter. And then in Baltimore and Lexington later this month. So check those out on my website or on Punch Up Live. Thank you. Anything else, fellas? All right, goodbye. Goodbye.