Son of a Boy Dad - Whiplash | Son of a Boy Dad #239

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

Whiplash | Son of a Boy Dad #239 -- #Ad: Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code SON30 for 30% off your order of Cann and get free shipping. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. By persons under 21 can products contain less than point three delta 9 THC that is derived from hemp Do not claim to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease and have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA So, you know, it's good Already welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today it is October 2nd. We are here live from HQ3. It's 1.30 p.m. Hello.

Welcome to the hot spot to get your takes off about the vice presidential debate. I didn't watch any of it. I actually don't know what happened. I got really into Call of Duty last night. First time dusting off the controller in a while. Did you blow the dust off or wipe it off with your hand? Blew it. Yeah. Indiana Jones style? It was actually incredible. We were playing 2v2s. Me and my boy, me and my boy Peters and we only

lost. We probably played like 50 games, lost twice to the same dude twice. No way. He ran through us, he was just a better player. He was probably that shooter Tim Walz. I know right? That dude's name was Leg- his name was Base Legacy. Alright, so if Base Legacy is out there I'd love to have a sit down with you, just talk your gameplay, go over it.

He's probably jumping through walls, probably has the craziest mods on his no I know that's that was the craziest thing is he was an honest player you tell from the kill cams really yeah just respectful gameplay you don't get that a lot how old was he I don't know I did I did assume late 20s I don't know why I fucking hate this what I hate when we talk about your video games I don't know if it was legacy based or based legacy based legacy would make more sense than legacy based Get a red emblem. I was having dreams about his gameplay in the middle of the night Yeah, just him sneaking up behind the wall and grabbing me see your dreams unfold nightmares come true. I know

It's time to kill base legacy, you said, yeah, I do. Exactly. Shout out Diddy. So let me know when we're through. He just pivoted to Diddy for us. On this thing. Oh good. Well, I was making a meek male joke.

I know, but that we could have, we're gonna jump all over that mix at the pivot point. Nah, I was, I got 10 more minutes of Call of Duty talking. Right, so say why you hate it. Because he doesn't get it, bro. You can't wrap your mind around Call of Duty. Well, if you don't grow up as a gamer, you can't appreciate video games when you get to your late 30s, early 40s.

Exactly. Silence is all I needed. You think that you could pop his arms off like a Ken off if you wanted to? I could kill him. I could kill Sass so easily. But without touching his neck? Let's bring it to a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would do what Ryan Gosling did to that guy in the elevator in the movie Drive. Kissed him to death.

You just kind of knock him to the ground and then you stomp on his head until it cracks like an eggshell. Do you remember that scene? Francis, the second that I thought you were going to kill me, you would already be dead. How? I'd buy a gun and kill you. Not in New York. If I was getting suspicious, like, fuck, I think Francis is going to kill me, I would

kill you so much faster. You'd have to lure him to Baltimore. You really think that? I would just drive to your apartment. I wouldn't foresee that you were getting suspicious of me killing you? You would have no idea. Like, the fact that we're even having this conversation, I'm going to go home and plan. All right, so here's the question.

Do you have a gun right now? Not at this moment. So there you go, I have the upper hand. No, you don't. Because I have been thinking about killing you. But we're on the podcast, you can't kill me on the podcast. Why not? Because you'll go to jail.

It's a bit. I'll kill myself before I go to jail. No, you won't, because I'll kill you and then I'll kill myself. Yes, I will. Murder, suicide, that is the best. I'm gonna murder, suicide you so much faster than you get me. Well, if we're both gonna murder, suicide, then does the best. I'm gonna murder, suicide you so much faster than you get me. Well, if we're both gonna murder, suicide,

then does it even really matter who murders and who suicides? Absolutely. Why don't we both just suicide and then we'll call it even? That doesn't work. What about Schrodinger's murder, suicide, where there's just rumors going out into the world

that each of you murder, suicideed the other, and no one ever knows who actually was the murder, suicider. That's good. But if you murder, suicide, someone no one ever thinks about the person that was murdered. They think about like, oh shit. That's not true. I don't know if I agree with that. They're like, that's so crazy someone killed someone and then killed themself. That's what they think of. They're never like, that sucks for the first person. No, usually people throw a funeral for the person that was murdered and then they

get angry and they have resentment towards the person who killed themself. They have a really angry funeral for the second person? No, they just, they have resentment towards the person who killed themself. They have a really angry funeral for the second person? No, they just, they have resentment because that person is a coward. He didn't want to face his own music. Exactly, but their resentment is more powerful than their mourning for the first person. Maybe that depends. It depends on the type of person that was lost at first. Like if I murder, suicide, and you, no one would ever be like, fuck, that sucks for Francis. They'd be like, damn, that's just a lunatic.

That might be the most narcissistic thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm just speaking, I'm using me as an example. I'm saying that would work for anybody. Like if Rhone killed you and then killed himself, people would be like, the conversation would be Rhone's fucking insane. Oh, you're saying anybody?

Yes. Everybody that's the case? I'm saying the second person's always the one that they talk about more. I think, and I don't mean this is a disrespectful thing to say, but you've done so little with your life, that if I murder, suicided you, people would be like, it's really sad that Francis lost his way so deeply as to kill someone

so insignificant. You're just proving my point. I'm saying it's all. No, but then they'd be sad that I had had to do that. Yeah, they'd be like. It's sad that Sass drove Francis to kill him. You're still proving my point. You're saying the second person,

that's who they think about. No, no, they just, that's me. In a murder-suicide, it's always the second person. Did you not hear what I just said? If you murder-suicided me. If I murder-suicided you. And that's an arrow, you are the second person. No, I'm killing you and then I'm killing myself, suicide, and you. And that scenario, you are the second person. No, I'm killing you, and then I'm killing myself.

Yes. And you're saying that no one would, they wouldn't be like thinking about me. They'd be like, that's so sad that Francis died. Oh, I see what you mean. But they wouldn't be angry with me, though. They'd feel bad for me. Some would be angry.

They were like, based on everything we saw from SAS. Some would be angry. Your family, and then like Peter's bow and that's it. Yeah. Because everyone else would side with me. Yeah, but you're still just. I'm totally kidding. I know, I know. I don't actually mean that.

You're proving my point though. That's a mean thing to say. No, no, no. It's obvious that it was a joke. You do not have to confirm that you're kidding. I know, but that was too far. I don't like saying that. That made me feel bad.

I was joking the entire time. I know, but everything was fine until I was was like no one would care if I killed you I mean that's pretty much what I was family Pretty much exactly what I said to you No, no, he meant it yours What you said was different it was an interesting point which is that? No one cares about mrs. Ben was basically what you're saying. The person who's murdered before the suicide is Overshadowed by the suicider

Yes, that's exactly what I but usually in a negative way There's yeah, yeah negative resentment towards the suicider that the mourning for the murdered is not does not get its yeah in court exactly They post like a photo. Have you ever seen that Zack Fox tweet where he was saying, or he was like, it was like, this is the photo that they use when a man murders his entire family. And it's like them, like the whole family on a jet ski, like smiling. When a white guy kills his entire family. And he just has like wraparound sunglasses on a jet ski with a huge grin on his face

Boy, it's weird for me to have to turn my head to the right. I know to see you Why is this how you guys always sit? Well, these are the two best seats because you don't have to turn your head at all I just want to zhuzh it one time. Yeah, I Actually don't like that seat I had to sit in that seat when you guys were gone when we had fights and but then I feel like my back was To the camera the entire time. I kind of like it. I feel like I can just observe you guys like a Psychologist yeah, it is it does kind of feel like that it kind of feels like I'm the psychologist though Cuz I'm on the couch by myself

Is that how psychologists do it they never sit with someone? They're cuz they don't know if that person's gonna fucking murder suicide them or they have a proclivity to get handsy Yeah, what percentage of psychologists or psychiatrists eventually hear from their subject that they just want to fuck them. Oh It's gotta be probably a lot. I don't know cuz I've ever I've actually never I haven't been to a psychologist ever Like about there last time I went to a therapist I was really young Yeah, but if you tell your therapist that you want to bang them they have to just be like Ever. Last time I went to a therapist I was really young. Yeah. But if you tell your therapist that you want to bang them, they have to just be like, they can't hire you.

I understand why you're feeling the way you are and I unfortunately do not feel that way. Really? I don't know. I don't know how they respond to that. I thought they had to fuck you. And then they probably say like, we're going to recommend you to someone else. They say that? Someone even hotter. Or uglier. Maybe they bump you to someone else. They say that? Someone even hotter.

Or uglier. Maybe they bump you down a level. Yeah. They're like, clearly this was a mistake. Or they're just like, we'll bump you down a level to see if it's me or if it's you. If it's you, yeah. If they just want to fuck anybody that they get intimate with. Maybe they transfer them to another therapist that they can fuck fuck them But then it doesn't it definitely doesn't hit the same

They're not when they're no longer your therapist because you keep on trying to get therapy advice from them And they're just like hey, I just want to fuck. Yeah now. It's just like a girl. You know That kind of what happens in the departed yeah Yeah, exactly that. I love that scene. Where he flops the therapist. Set to a dark side of the moon. Yeah. Or, This is not all you are a scene.

Yeah, yeah. I like the scene. Comfortably numb. Yes, yes. And it's Vera Farmiga and it's raining and they do this great jump cut and she's like, is this real? jump cut and she's like is this real? And I think he's like yeah I think so I don't know. Yeah something like that. And

then it just jump cuts and she's on the kitchen counter and he comes over to her. Someone drop her ab workout from that movie. It's so hot in that movie. It's crazy. Drop that glutes routine. Drop the glutes routine. I need her ab glute combo for myself. Lord, I've seen what you've done for other people. Bless me with her ab glute combo. I've always thought she was unbelievably beautiful. She was so good in Up in the Air, and also she was good in Source Code.

I haven't seen either of those. Up in the Air? No. You have to watch it seen either of those. Up in the air? No. You have to watch it. Wait, what's up in the air? That sounds familiar. Clooney firing people everywhere. Clooney consultant going through airport security.

I don't think I've seen it. Sounds familiar though. I haven't heard, what's the other one? Source Code? Yeah. Gyllenhaal dies a billion times. They plug him into this machine. He has to figure out a murderer.

Well, I'm a big Gyllenhaal fan. Is that a good movie? I actually thought it was pretty good. You know what I heard is I heard that they heard that new Joker movie is dog shit Really? Yeah, there's a 59% on Rotten Tomatoes. I'll be honest guys. I didn't really like the first one that much I did you did I thought it was really interesting I saw it in theaters and I was like this isn't as good as I wanted it to be. You want it to be as good as Batman movies. I want it to be Heath Ledger, yeah, exactly. And it's good, it's interesting. I rewatched it, I think that's one of my biggest

litmus tests of whether I enjoyed a movie. I rewatched it, I still enjoyed it. I never rewatched it, I only saw it once. So does Gaga dump rack or flash clam in this movie? I think she flashes clam. Actually flashes clam? No, I doubt it. In her documentary, she dumped rack.

Really? She just is like smoking a blunt out back on a beach chair, titties to the world. Yeah. Good for her. Rack dumped. She's pretty good, she's real deal. Her rack is dumped out in that one with Bradley Cooper. Someone dropped the rack routine on her.

Yeah, I could use that rack routine. Is it really? Yeah, she's in the bathtub. She's dancing like a Persian dancer with her two titties going in different directions. What's that movie called? Oh, Stars Born? Stars Born.

I don't recall her dumping rack in that, but I believe you Stars born the highest grossing mid-budget movie Of all time and right now that new mid-budget movie It ends with us is the highest grossing mid-budget since a star is born really. Whoa I think I think I thought uh whiplash was the highest budget or maybe it's the lowest budget Low highest grossing low budget movie. You're thinking about your activity. No, I'm a stall shit tiny budget You're gonna blow a budget for what's the budget for paranormal murder?

300 bucks that blower much it was to buy one camera Yeah, it was shot on a fucking ring camera. You know the budget for Whiplash? It's only $2 million. Is that so? Yeah. That was Miles Teller's breakout role. Yeah, because I think it was a short first. That's right.

Yeah. I wonder what, I wonder what, you know, J.K. Simmons made for that. I think he won Best Supporting Actor. Probably like $300,000, right? Broke boy. I know. Get your money up Simmons! I would I would never do that. No. I would never do a movie role and win a huge award for $300,000. It was $3.3 million budget and it grossed $50 million. See what Simmons got paid, see what Teller got paid, see how much they paid the drum

sets. No drum sets. No drum sets were harmed in the making of this. He also had to have trained a lot for that role. He must have played a lot of drums heading into that. Oh, yeah, definitely. He must have a background in that. I think he did, but I don't know if it was jazz. I mean, it was such...

intense jazz music that they were playing. It says that there isn't much information about how much JK Simmons was paid for this role. You know what that means. Will you look up how much jazz drumming Miles Teller had to do in order to prepare for the role, please? I heard a criticism of this movie that I might have even brought up on this podcast before that the rote memorization of perfect timing is antithetical to jazz drumming. You don't have to have perfect timing to be a great jazz drummer. Isn't that so?

That makes sense. Surprisingly not that much. Two months of training, three to four hours a day, up to three times a week That's not as much as I would have thought the fuck Flash I Don't know why I just started playing so have you watched the prestige yet sass since yesterday now I haven't I haven't gotten around to it. I thought that you were serious about this podcast. I Thought that you took this shit seriously.

I do. What's that mid-tier, low-budget, high-end thing you just talked about, it ends with us? Yes. What's that? It's a movie about, it's basically a women's movie. Is it good though? No.

What? Is that the one with Blake Lively? Yes. You know the internet's coming for Lively right now? Yeah, they hate her. Why? Because she like, I think she's kind of a bitch and she calls She called I think it was something had to do with she did an interview

Where I guess she was like nine weeks pregnant or something like she wasn't she hadn't been pregnant that long but she it was public like she announced it and then the interviewer it was like Said something and she was like speaking of which like let's see the like let's see your bump And then she was like let's see your, like, let's see the, like, let's see your bump. And then she was like, let's see your bump to the interviewer who wasn't pregnant. And everyone was like, what the fuck? I was like, kind of mean. That's what happened?

Yeah. I'm on Lively's side. I could almost see that going both ways. I mean. I think it was more, I think it was more rude than I made it up to be. I could see the world deciding that it's incredibly inappropriate for an interviewer to ask Blake

Lively to show her bum. I don't think I think it was like I noticed your bump or something. And then she was like, I noticed your bump. I probably worded it incorrectly. Whatever it is, that's just one of those things where tiptoeing around the bureaucracy of pregnancy is not something I will ever fully understand. And so I avoided it at all costs. That said, if it's a woman I know, I wanna touch the bump every single time.

Really? Yeah. I don't think today, I don't think you can even address the bump until like they're going into labor. Until the baby's born. Yeah, and be like, oh my God, I had no idea you were pregnant. Well, at that point, I actually reach in and feel the baby Palm the head you feel the placenta and I communicate through yeah through pulses

I'm not your father, but I will be an important yeah, I'll be involved so they're just the father who stepped up They're just drawing lively for that your dad dad's gone. I think so. Yeah. I think that's why. What? That's so trivial. I'm very, I don't have a lot of information on this. That's such bullshit. I just don't have a problem. She kind of sucks. I don't have a problem when a Hollywood actress is a bitch the same way I don't have a problem when a politician is corrupt. It's like,'re fucking corrupt. You're a politician like Eric Adams. You see that Eric Adams is getting Like federally indicted because he took Turkish Airways

Yeah business class not even first class. Oh, yeah. Oh my god He bought he bought a regular ticket and they just bumped him up in How are you in the aggregate is it's one hundred thousand dollars. The issue is that the Turkish travel agent or the person that booked him the seats got a special position in his cabinet as a result of those kinds of favors. That's not great. But as far as the perks that he took, they weren't exactly perky. Yeah. What? They weren't super perky. No. There's no way that's so expected.

That's par for the course for a politician in my estimation. I think the politicians are obviously doing shit like that. Obviously they're corrupt. Obviously they're power hungry. Obviously they're going to use every little bit of their power in any way possible. They're not fucking living on farms, eating McDonald's or whatever. They're just trying to maximize that. I do not give a fuck about that.

I don't know anything about it. I've been very out of touch with the news the last week. Was that image you just conjured, a blending of old McDonald had a farm? I don't care if you say EIEIE. I don't know many farmers that are just housing Big Macs. You know who is? Warren Buffett.

That's right. Warren Buffett lives on a big farm in East McDonald's every morning. Yep, drives up in his Cadillac to the drive through window. And he has the usual? No, he has two orders and one depends on, I think it depends on the stock market. The ethnicity of the worker, I think.

Is that what it was? He's like, I do not want the curry unless if there's a white girl working at McDonald's. Damn, they got curry at McDonald's? In Nebraska. That's crazy. That would be odd. They should make a fast food Indian place.

I mean, all Indian is fast food. It just literally sits in a- Yeah, I guess it just sits in a tub. Like a caldron or a trough. Yeah. And it's amazing. But imagine rolling up to like, to Macas and you just get some like,

I'll just do the chicken tikka masala. It'd be amazing. It's in your lap in 30 seconds. Oh, it's making me hungry. I know. I'm hungry right now. Suddenly I'm craving Indian food. Just put some ketchup on your tikka masala.

Yeah. Put some ketchup on your. People who are racist towards Indian people have clearly never had chicken tikka masala. That shit is a work of art I know so good whenever people are like the Indian people aren't that good at the Olympics It's almost like well have you seen what they do in the fucking kitchen exactly? They're spending their time in the lab even the vegetarian dishes

Or they're like Indian people smell weird. I'm like well if you had naan Have you tried the garlic naan? They can do whatever they want. Have you tried the sag paneer? The sag paneer will change your life. Indian food is, it's honestly like, it's a top, it's a top three for me. It's really up there.

It's so good. It's so good. Oh my God, I'm hungry. If you say that online, it's almost like the, it's almost like one of those things you put on the wall where the termites come crawling out. Oh yeah. You just will, all the racists will just like

flood to the surface. Yeah, I keep on getting these like, these tweets on my timeline that are like, something about Indian people and they're like really racist and I'm looking for the joke, cause I'm like, surely this is a joke, right? And then you go because I'm like surely this is a joke right and then you go to the replies and it's not a joke and then I just block the account so like I don't need to be seen. And then Elon Musk is like more of this. Yeah unblock he goes

in and unblocks the account. For you. Yeah I don't I don't want to see like actually racist shit. Yeah. Is anyone talking about this? Yeah. This is a great point. Why would I want to see like like, I'm all for racist jokes? No, no, no. You need to be the change you wish to see in the world. So you should start tweeting the opposite of racist stuff about Indian people. True.

Just went to 7-Eleven. Fantastic service. Or just went to 7-Eleven. The entire staff was white. Yeah, terrible job. And inside was another Indian customer who offered me a job at his Fortune 500 company. There we go. Tweet that. Do you know Indian people, I think I've talked about this before,

but you know Indian people own 50% of all motels in America? That's not true. Yes, it is. Look it up. Look it up. No, you got- I already have looked up multiple things today. You guys got to look up something. There's no That's not true. Yes it is. Look it up. Look it up. No you got it. I already have looked up multiple things today. You guys gotta look up something. There's no way that's true. Look it up. I swear to God. I don't even need to look it up. I'm gonna go ahead with my gut here

and just say it's wrong. I love a good fact when I'm right and I know you're about to be wrong. Shit's about to blow up in your face. You got about five seconds to say I think you actually might be right. Repeat the facts? If the Indian people own 50% of motels in America. Motels? Yeah. You don't want to say anything? Like I could see that. I'm gonna hold. You're gonna hold? I'm gonna hold my position. Now the Shahs help compromise an impressive statistic. Indian immigrants and their children make up about 1% of the US population, but they own roughly half the motels in the country. Wow. NPR 2016.

Oh, that's not true anymore. That's too old. That's outdated. That's eight years old. No, now I heard it's 100% now. No. Yeah. No.

Who will? Now I'll look it up. What the hell? And about 70% of those motel proprietors can trace their heritage to one state in India, Gujarat. I was gonna say Hyderabad. The fact that they all come from one place. Yeah. How it's like Dominicans make baseball players and Gujarat makes motel owners.

Isn't that crazy? That is a great statistic. Holy shit. You guys weren't listening to NPR in 2016? I was uh... You got my ass. I was just getting on a bar stool in 2016. Were you really? Is that when you got hired? Yes. That's crazy. Let me see if it was before or after this article about Gujarat. Actually probably right around this time. So you were busy. Oh dude.

You were squarmed. That's why you were squarmed. Did you see that a third of the families that own the motels have the last name Patel? Really? Yeah. But that's like Smith. That's actually probably more powerful than Smith.

A name used by the educated merchant class in Gujarat, India, which means land owner. Patel does? Yeah. Well, I don't know what that meant. And I can't look it up anymore. But I did read, I read a book called, something of water, The Shape of Water. It's really interesting. I've heard of that. It's a novel.

They turned into a flick? Yeah, did they? I think they did. That sounds really familiar. Is that the one where the The Shape of Water is where the alien... I'm gonna do a quick Google on that. The Shape of Water is where the... it's like a 1950s facility where a woman starts fucking an alien. No, I know what you're talking about. I saw that movie too. Is that not the shape? Yeah, the shape of water fantasy slash romance. What the fuck am I talking about? It's not the shape of water Ah takes place in Baltimore the shape of water. Yeah at the port, which is a good time to pivot into which good time to pivot I'll be in Baltimore this weekend. The shape of water has a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. Have you seen it now?

Good amazing. I watched it. There's a there's like a key scene in that movie The shape of water has a 92% on rotten tomatoes. Have you seen it? No. Good? Amazing. I watched it. There's like a key scene in that movie where the government agent, he like has a debate, doesn't affect the movie at all, but his debate is, is it more clean to wash your hands after you pee or before you pee?

And he was basically like, there's two types of men in this world. Men who wash their hands before they touch their dick, and men who wash their hands after they touch your dick. And it completely- I would say before. You think it's better? I think it's before, yeah.

But- Because I've always not understood the washing your hands. Like I do it if there's people in the bathroom. Well, what this guy isn't accounting for is sweaty shaft. Sweaty shaft, but that's still, it's just sweat. It It's not like yeah, well you're washing your hands of your sweaty shaft But think about all the shit that you've taught like I just rode the city bike in I just I went to Starbucks grabbed the handle like all that shit, and now I'm gonna go touch my dick with that What if there was fucking?

Don't wash your hands before you you touch your dick. I know I don't but I'm saying you Sass being the only guy to get AIDS from a Starbucks door handle. No, but he got Frappuccino AIDS. Wow, we had no idea Sass was fucking so much. No, no, no. He's a... Starbucks.

He's an ice pumpkin latte. Daily routine that got to him. But wouldn't it make more sense to wash your hands before? That's this guy's point. I think you should do it before. You really want to be a freak. Do it before and after. Yeah. By the way, the book is called The Covenant of point. I think you should do it, you really want to be free. Do it before and after. Yeah.

By the way, the book is called The Covenant of Water. Ah. I apologize. Guy Ritchie's. It's a good book, it's quite long. I don't know that I'd recommend it, but it does explain a lot about the caste system in India. Interesting.

Well, it's the main takeaway. No, not really at all. You don't care at all, you're not a reader. No, I'm just going along with it. You're just not a reader. First of all, I'm a reader. You think you are. I'm a book head. You cite books that you read 10 years ago'm just going along with it. You're just not a reader. First of all, I'm a reader. You think you are. I'm a book head.

You cite books that you read 10 years ago and you're like, I just read this. Three years ago. Every book I've ever read was three years ago. I read like 10 books in a year. You read Cold Turkey two years ago. And then I never read a book again. I know this.

I know this. I can tell based on the books that you quote. I read every single Charles Bukowski book and every single Jack Kerouac book in one year. I think it would be good for you to get back into reading. I read Sam Talents book, which was good. It was actually phenomenal. It was one of my favorite books. But that's like the genre of book that I like is like the road dog books. And I've tried to get into like, cause then I've read a lot of those, but then I was like, I wanted to get into like history, try and become smarter.

If you like road dog books and sort of journey books, try the Lincoln Highway by Amor Towels. He wrote A Gentleman in Moscow. I'll have to check it out. It's really great. I'll have to check it out. I want to get back to the Indian caste system. Yeah. I want to learn. It's crazy how sort of rigid the caste system is. Like if you're born into a certain class, it's very hard to work your way up to the next one.

Really? And it's, you know, it's not, as far as I can tell, at least from this book, it doesn't seem like people of lower classes are necessarily... shit on or treated worse. There's, like, honor in being a butler. Right. I mean, I know, the only stuff I know about this is from watching Slumdog Millionaire. But I feel like I learned a lot from Slumdog Millionaire. I haven, I know the only stuff I know about this is from watching Slumdog Millionaire.

But I feel like I learned a lot from Slumdog Millionaire. I haven't seen that either. Bro, you live under a rock. I've heard it's phenomenal. It's phenomenal. Yeah. Yeah, it's excellent. You learn why Indian guys go like this?

Can you even do it, bro? No, I definitely can't. You gotta work your neck muscles. You look like Ray Charles. No, I definitely can't. You got to work your neck muscles. Like Ray Charles. Just swaying back and forth. You're like a python responding to a loot. You know what my favorite scene in the department is?

Just taking it, taking us all the way back to the beginning of the scene where he's in the, when he first meets the therapist or the psychiatrist. And when he, uh, when he's like talking about how he, how he hasn't slept in weeks. And then she, cause she's like, what do you, what did you want coming here? And he's like Valium. And then, and then she's like, I should have known like drug seeking behavior. And then he freaks out. And then she went to go blow my fucking brains out.

He like freaks out so that he's like having panic attacks and he like threw up on the way there. And then she pulls out the two pills and then he goes two pills and he like flicks it back in her face He goes why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my fucking head off Love that scene you got her ass to bang her because then she just is sucking his dick Pouring pills onto it. Oh yeah. Just two rounds. Exactly. A couple of oxy-coffins. He has her wrapped around his finger. Oh yeah. He played her. Whatever. He played her. And right away too. She's like, I'm sorry, maybe you do need unlimited amount of drugs. Let me get you 60 Valium. And to take it all the

way back to the beginning, have we figured out what this dude was doing to beat you in Call of Duty? Or if it was Legacy Blast or Blessed Legacy? Based, based. I'm going my way. I think it was Based Legacy. I can't believe you heard that in the show. I wonder if he listens to the show.

Yeah. You listen like a thief, my brother. I've never heard that before. I like it. Listen like a thief? Listen like a thief. I'm going never heard that before I like it listen like a thief listen like a thief. I'm gonna start using that it is good frequently It's so good. You must not have listened to my appearance on token CEO podcast I must have I think I missed that one really yeah That was you went on recently right? Everyone listen to that I thought everyone heard that. I thought it was like required summer reading

for when you get back to... We should have Erica on the podcast like we did with Francis, get her rehired. She explained what happened. Nothing actually, I just made the company super popular. Goes on a name show on Thursday. Yeah, she does call. She's like, let's see if we can crunch the numbers and make it work.

She's like, it'll be $15 million a year for me to come back and work there. Well, if you were able to get that, she should be able to. True. I know. I'm worried I'm not going to get that again. Francis actually gets 50% of all the revenue at Barstool, similar to the Indian people with motels. Motels. 70% of all of the Barstool employees come from a small town in Massachusetts.

That is true. That is actually true. I would believe it. Me too. I would believe it like it was fucking yesterday. In the Slumdog Millionaire, their chaiwalas, tea, like they bring tea, and that's part of a caste system. But my question is, if it was a female caste member, could the guy who's in a higher class use his power to sexually have a relationship with one of these people?

And if so, could that bump her up a caste system? Oh, good question. Like, can you fuck your way into a higher cast? Like, Rob Kardashian's. I don't know that you can. I think it's more frowned upon if you would do that. For the person who's in the higher class, you know, they're not really supposed to date down as far as I can tell.

That's pretty frowned upon. But what if the pussy's crazy? Like Romeo and Juliet, I know, true. No, they weren't. That poor pussy goes nuts. They weren't unequal in their classes. No, I just meant like it's forbidden. Like a forbidden relationship.

What did you say, because it was funny? I wanna hear it. I said that poor pussy goes nuts. Because Ron said what if the pussy's crazy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they have to, to you know well, how would they ever know It's so fucked. It's so not fair That's probably why they see America as the land of opportunity because black China can just be go from Doing whatever she was doing to fucking a Kardashian and then suddenly she's in the highest caste system. Who was black China fucking Rob Kardashian

She'd a baby with Rob Kardashian. Oh really? Yeah. Oh they had the sex tape Did she yeah black China definitely had a sex tape? That's the only reason I know Rob or did she fuck someone else? I think she fucked someone else while she was dating Rob and then the sexy safe sex tape got leaked Yeah, Rob couldn't put out a sex tape. He doesn't have the departed girls ab workout God no, if he did I would definitely watch that sex tape. He doesn't have the departed girls ab workout. If he did, I would definitely watch that sex tape. If he had her glute workout, oh my God. You gotta start commenting that on girls. Cause you know how when a girl posts something

and then all the comments are like, drop the ab workout? Like dudes need to start commenting that. Bro, drop the ab workout. No, on the girls post Who's the one that everyone keeps posted about Gracie? Gracie Abrams, what's her name Tracy? The governor of Georgia It's in Tracy Abrams a musician Gracie mansion am I wrong about that Chapman Chapman, that's who I was thinking of?

Is the musician. Fascar. Stacey Abrams is the Georgia State representative. Correct. Is that who you're talking about? Stacey Abrams. No, I'm talking about, yeah, Gracie Abrams is a musician and she always posts videos and all the comments are like, drop your ab work.

Are you talking about this woman? Yeah, yeah yeah it's exactly who I was referring to she had crazy abs, crazy Chapman, nobody in the state legislature has crazy abs anymore back in the day back in the day bros used to have who do you think is the most built politician of all time which politician has the sexiest body RFK bro Yeah, but he's and he's not daddy. He's been fucking yeah, but he's not mad. You see that he's been sneaking around He used to apparently have a media. He spread chlamydia all on the NYU campus He was fucking bear I found out that your roommate was fucking RFK like freshman year

I'm finding out that your roommate was fucking RFK like freshman year Imagine if you walk into the quad and Baron Trump and RFK are playing hacky sack. I'll be smoking a doobie talk They probably have linked up. Yeah. Oh man if they're spreading chlamydia, right? Yeah, I went to like they probably popped by like Brooklyn Fair Got something at the hot bar Two different strains of chlamydia finding each each other, winding their way around the campus and getting back to one another. Do you think when Barron Trump fucks at college, like the Secret Service has to wait outside of the dorm? He probably tags them in when he gets tired.

Yeah, true. I think that they, Schultz and them were just talking about this. What are they saying? About Barron Trump fucking in college. Oh, really? So it's going to look like you took that bit from them. I think it makes sense how we got there. Okay.

What did they say? It's just a big deal. Should we just cut that? Should we just- A risky person to- Should we just cut their thing in? In compared notes. What if it was word for word? Do a response like a response video? Yeah.

Watch us watch flagrant yeah flagrant podcast with ours side-by-side to see what happened to see who was closer you think that he's taken them to dates at crumble cookies you think he can skip the line at crumble cookies you know how I know Andrew Schultz is doing really well because he's told that Madison Square Garden twice I used to do I used to do his podcast pretty frequently, and I haven't in a very long time. You used to do what?

Flagrant 2. You used to go on that? I've been on it a few times. I was talking to somebody about this. And the fact that I don't even have a bid at it means they've really leveled up. Well, you know what it is. I was talking about this with someone recently.

They asked someone else, not Schultz, but another big comedian, like a huge podcast, they were like, can I do your show? And they were like, we wanna have you on, but because of how much the advertisers pay, they have a quota of viewers that they have to hit, like a baseline. And they have a baseline of views that they have to get.

You know how sometimes when we have a guest on, the episode will get less views. So it's like, if you're not huge to the point that they're gonna get more views, like if there's a chance that they're gonna get less views, then they have to like give all the money back to the advertiser. That's why they have, that sounds not true.

That they have to give the money back to the... Maybe they might not have to give the money back to the... Maybe they might not have to give the money back to the advertiser, might have made that point. But that's why they have the minor league system. Yeah. They'll send some people through the minors. They'll send them on the, they'll be like, you can do the Patreon episode.

Right. Yeah. Have you ever been Patreoned? What does that mean? When you go to record it, when you go to do someone else's podcast and then they put it on the Patreon. Dude, worse even than that, one time Ian Fidance asked me to come on his podcast and and it was with Zach

D'Amico. Zach D'Amico? Sure yeah and not crack amico. Ian didn't even come. Oh really? So it's just me and Zach. Really? We don't know each other. Yeah I could see you guys never having cross paths. I could see you guys being at different ends of the comedy spectrum fully. Like maybe you're diametric opposite if one of you was a different race. I mean he's funny and they had other, they had Graham K. on as well, so there were people there that I could talk to, but I texted Ian after. I was like, dude, where were you? Yeah.

He was like, oh, I had a gig or something. I'm like, yeah, that's insane. That's pretty crazy. That's like if we invited a guest on here and then none of us, it was like Owen and Tyler. Wait, like when you had, you invited column on that, I guess I did. I did. It was just me and column. Yeah, I did do that. That was the worst day of my life. No, I, since I'm actually friends with column, it was fine. But I don't think I've ever felt worse than that moment Why didn't you come a? bunch of complications with travels

Him for traveling from his dream state to his awake state slept through it When I see your coffee, I didn't I didn't sleep and it's 2 p.m. I Know that's your first coffee of the day No, no, I didn't sleep through it. And it's 2 p.m. I know that's your first coffee of the day. Yeah, well first of all, I'm not a two coffee a day guy. I'm one coffee a day guy. I know.

Cardiologists say it's actually three could be good for your heart. Really? Are they saying that? Cardiologists. There aren't always these headlines that are saying more coffee equals better. It's probably sponsored by big coffee.

How is that possible? When I have more than two coffee if I have another coffee in the day I Get so jittery dude if I have two wise coffees in one day Like I'm literally standing in my apartment being like I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it Like I might like I like I might have to kill myself tracing the outline of your face on the mirror Like I like I might have to kill myself tracing the outline of your face on the mirror Putting a gun to this I don't even get it every from iced coffee anymore I get like like if I drink too much, I just get really sad

like insanely depressed It's crazy. So I feel about booze now. Really? I've said that to you though. Well, like when you're would you get that while you're drunk? Yep dude I've said that to you though. What, like when you're, would you get that while you're drunk? Yep. Dude, stop drinking. That's awful. I have been trying, and you won't let me. No, I'm not not letting you. Because you're trying to gatekeep sobriety.

Well, because you tried to gatekeep it from me, so I got to give it back to you. No, I never tried to gatekeep it. I wasn't gatekeeping because I wasn't sober. Bruh! When we were in Colorado, you guys cornered me, and you were like, drink. That's not gatekeeping.

Kind of is. Gatekeeping would be as if I was sober and I was like, I'm this, I'm doing this thing, you can't have it too. Well, you were so anti-my sobriety. Yeah, you were anti-my sobriety, so I kind of feel like I have to be anti-yours. But if you're getting sad while drunk, don't drink.

I wanted you to develop a healthy relationship with drinking But then I saw that you had done it for your own reasons and I totally got behind it True is for a bit. He was doing it so he could make his this one joke that he was trying to make I was working. I had an idea for a sobriety joke and I decided to run with it. Yeah It's like when you have to dress up like the Asian person and someone sees you drinking though They'll be like this joke doesn't work. Yeah, have you watched the procedure? I've already doing a couple times dude getting sad while drunk is one of the worst feelings

imaginable like you ever you never like when you're like going out and for some reason It's just not you're not getting drunk and you just keep drinking but you like can't get into it. It's the worst when I college parties sometimes I would just go to sit in my room alone. I wasn't even sad, I think I was overwhelmed. It was just too much social, I didn't know where to go. I'd be like, yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Dude, this wedding this weekend,

I went to the bathroom probably 80 times and just stood in there. I do that a lot. I just stood in there and looked at my phone. But I was like, is this just who I am, but it's not something that has followed me in life? I think it's a relatively normal thing that you just want to get away with. Oh yeah.

Well, it's not really a normal environment to be in, like a big party. Yeah. Our ancestors didn't have keggers. They didn't have keggers. That's not right. They weren't keg standing. Parties have been going on forever who invented parties Google this The Aztecs the Mayans was it not the the they invent they had that because they had the original Torah party or toga party

Torah the Greeks Torah's Jew Greeks were big on partying. It's saying the Egyptians. That makes sense. 15th century BC. Rock is celebrations of drunkenness. How do you think the first party started? What do you think there was like it was like three dudes and then like one other person came like, well, it's a party. Someone put the last onto something here. I think someone put the last piece on the top of the fucking pyramid. And they were like, I'm fucking having a drink. And then everyone else was like, me too. We lost 19 members of our family building this thing. Generations of our family have died in pursuit of this.

It's time. Let's fucking honor them. Just the first Egyptian slave worker cracking an ice cold Coors Light. Yeah. I wonder what the mountains are blue. I wonder what the logo looked like back then. The pyramids are blue. The pyramids are blue, yeah.

Pyramids are blue. Oh, God. Pyramids are red, just piping hot beers that they're drinking. The hottest mead. Before refrigeration, they're just getting fucked up on ice hot beer. Super skunked beers.

This tastes like fucking shit. That's probably how IPA's became a thing That's probably how shotgunning became a thing true. They're like, I don't want to taste it. Yeah, get it done quick It's actually easier to do when it's not cold had a spear and a glass jug of wine. Yeah, we're like beer bonging They're like send you have a beer bong on them. I want to shoot this beer into me That's probably what the ancient technologies that Joe Rogan's always talking about is like, actually the pyramids were a conduit to use light to beer bong alcohol faster.

I forgot to tell you guys this, I did this a while ago. I don't think I've gotten my email yet, but they made a, have you guys gotten that? Have you guys seen that thing on Instagram of the kettlebell with Joe Rogan's face on it? No. Yeah, I signed up. I made an account so that I could get an email at a chance of buying one of them. They're like $500. I want one so bad for the studio.

I was going to bring it in one day and it's just a massive kettle. It's a 50 pound kettlebell and it's like an X and it's an exact replica of Joe Rogan's face. What do you think Sass would do with a 50-pound kettlebell? I don't know how I would get that here. I don't know how I would transport 50 pounds of Rogan's head. Wait is it shaped like his head or it's like...'s dude is his exact face. I Got a war where he's if I've got is it the one where he's looking really intense and his Sweaty kind of yes, and yeah, like he's like this. Yeah. Yeah, I know that one

Yeah, you know that kettlebell. I know that I'm familiar with that bell. I've done some swings with that. What the fuck? I wonder if I got I don't think I've gotten, oh yeah, I'm on the wait list. Imagine the poor delivery guy who has to bring that to your fifth store walk-up. Y'all, it's happening. It's really happening. Chosen through random generation, we have identified that the first group

will access the kettlebell and have a chance to walk away with a 55 pounds of inspiration and home decor. That's so heavy. Oh no. We're sorry to inform you that you were not selected in this round. You have to buy one up. But there's still a chance. We have to get one off game time.

I know. You have to get one off a secondary kettlebell market. They're probably going for like 10k at this point. 100%. Should we chip in and get one? Yes. On the secondary market? On the secondary.

Well, hold on. Let me finish reading this email. The group has been selected. We'll receive access September 30, and we'll have 48 hours to clear the purchase once the 48 hours have passed, blah, blah, blah. The Rogan kettlebell will be available for purchase at $250. USD on it. We'll be donating $100,000, blah, blah, blah.

We need to get our hands on one of these kettlebells. I don't care how the fuck you do it Well, it's bullshit that I just I'm just seeing this now. I Got a photo of the Rogan kettlebell Francis Well divides a little bit of a workout routine for I mean 55 pounds is you got there's not Limits with a shoulder press it limits what you're able to sway I don't know if I would feel that great about shoulder pressing a 55 pound kettlebell. Look at this thing.

That seems really heavy to me. No. I think it's swings. Cause you shoulder press two 40s probably, easily. Two 50s. It's just really heavy. To me, it would be, I would do rows with it, with my hand on something.

So bent over rows, both arms. I would do swings. And then, I mean, you can't really do it. I don't think you can do a Turkish getup with one that heavy, of sass. I don't know if sass could do anything. God, it does not look like him at all. What do you mean? It's his head. It's his face It looks it looks like a Buddha. It looks like considerably fatter than his face. I

Want it so bad if I was Rogan that would piss me off so much if that was if someone was misrepresenting my face like when Christiano Renato got that false bust. Oh Yeah, it's an an exact exact replica. I need it. Is he is he part of it? Yeah, I think so. Well, you think you could pull some strings and get it? I bet if you actually think I could or Shane, I'll talk to Shane.

Did you do that for me? You wanted that bad? I want it that badly. I don't think you've earned it. I really would appreciate it. You'd have to show some sort of initiative that you actually want to get into shape. Yeah, I don't want it to work out. I want it to put in the studio. Just to put it on the table and the table snaps in half. Yeah. So we could say we had Rogan on. Here's what I'll do. I want to put it right next to me.

If you get to a point where you can actually shoulder press a 55 pound kettlebell, I'll start working on getting one for you. Work it, dude, they're gonna be sold out by then. I would need to put on like 15 pounds of muscle. But we're going to the source, brother. Not single arm shoulder press, a two arm shoulder press. No, I want single arm.

I'll talk to Shane, I'll call him. And I'll cash in my one text of the year. Hey, sorry to bother you. I was really hoping you could help me get in one of those Rogan kettlebells. Craft it right now. Why? Because I'm not using my one text for that, bro. That's the most worthy thing you could use your one text for. I know, that's true. You're hoping he's gonna go back on SNL so you could have four more Bud Lights. I don't think so, bro.

Get that kettle belt now. I gotta get it. Go back on SNL. This year he'll go on as a... I saw Bargazzi's hosting it again. He's hosting again, which makes me think Shane will host again. Yeah. But this year? You think they usually have which makes me think Shane allows. Yeah, but this year

Do you think they usually have to the same people that hosted last year host this year though? Um, I I'm sure they have you know, it seems like there was a period there were Justin Timberlake hosted every year Yeah, that's true Alec Baldwin's done eight times or whatever. I Heard that he heard that he they offered him to do Trump the entire year and instead he went to skankfest That's true fucking legend. I saw that about Shane that he, they offered him to do Trump the entire year and instead he went to skank fest. That's a true fucking legend. I saw that about Shane. He went to skate for skank fest. I saw that on Twitter and then I looked it up and I didn't find anything about it.

So wait, they wanted Shane to do Trump the whole year. Yeah. And he turned it down to go to skank fest. That's what, that's what rumors are saying. Don't quote me on that. Imagine having to come up to New York every Saturday night though. Well, yeah, but I'll do it. He's in Philly, so that wouldn't be that bad. Wouldn't be that good? No, it wouldn't. Plus he's on the road. I think it's not the worst gig in the world to drive from Philly to New York to be on one of the biggest television

shows ever. Yeah, I know, but what would they pay him? Nothing, probably. I've literally done this. I went from New York to Philly to be on one of the biggest television shows ever. Yeah, I know, but what would they pay him? Nothing, probably. I've literally done this. I went from New York to Philly to be on one of the biggest shows on the internet, and Pat Bedpot. Almost, I did it every week when he was on the six series. I literally did that. And look where it got me, sitting with you two jokers.

Maybe a little less love for my dad would have me on SNL. Damn. Dude, Rohn is torching us. That's a joke. That's my joke. He just did. Yeah. He just used your own joke against you. And then he said that he said he called us jokers.

You do, you told Jokera Limit. He called us clowns. Joker one or Joker two? Joker one. Is that water open? Uh, yes, but it's not drank from. It's just cracked. Oh, fuck that.

I just, it's just a trace amount of the Spanish fly in there. Yeah, I don't want that shit So did we are we getting to diddy or no? I don't really have much to say about diddy diddy very upset I got Jack diddly about diddy They're saying Justin Bieber and 120 of his friends came together in a class-action lawsuit linking their arms JB did JB was a victim, bro. And you guys crack jokes at JB's expense. I never crack- Not knowing that he's tortured. I never once cracked jokes at JB's expense, ever.

Run the tape. I never did. You never crack jokes about JB? No. I think I said that I remember when I was younger, it was like, if you were a man, you were like required to hate Justin Bieber. Right, exactly. In like 2010. I never said that I remember when I was younger it was like it was like if you were a man you were like Required to hate Justin Bieber right exactly in like 2010 I never said that and that was you I said that me and Francis were on Beiber side now you guys were at the age where you probably like actually hated him

I'd never hated him Haley Bieber has developed a line of lip gloss that has lines out the door of every retail store Really? Mm-hmm She's become the door of every retail store they have. Really? Mm-hmm. Did you get any? She's become the face of their couple. Graham got my wife a, he had access to Hailey Bieber's lip gloss and got it as a, we all met up at a dinner. Graham Bennett?

Yeah, Graham Bennett got my wife a tube of that exclusive lip gloss. By the way, you said Graham as though it would be obvious which Graham in your life you were talking about. Oh, I knew immediately. Graham Bennett would have been way down the list. I had no idea. I knew instantly.

I didn't know you and Graham Bennett were on a first name basis. And a lip gloss. Bro, I'll text him right now. Cue cutting. That's crazy. It's crazy to let another man buy your wife lip gloss. Imagine going out to dinner with your wife and another man's like, oh, I got you something,

by the way. Yeah. Lip gloss. Yeah. We'd be like, get the check. We're leaving now. But get the check, Graham. I was about to say, he's paying for this dinner.

It's the least you can do. I'm going to let you pay for this, but this is the last time. And we're taking the lip gloss. Exactly. We're still taking it. We weren't giving back the lip gloss. And I'd like some more. You can't unstand in that line. I would take the lip gloss and then like re-gift it for a birthday or something.

It wasn't even Alex that gave it, it was Graham. It was just Graham? That's crazy. I didn't know you and Graham were tight like that. Is he still in New York or is he back in OKC? He's back in OKC. Should I message him right now? We should get him on the pod. You ever watch the OKC bombing documentary? No. You haven't? What is it about the time when you did stand about there? Funny. Who was that? Ted Kaczynski? No. That was a white supremacist group. They were very, they were actually,

there was a lot of ties between them and- It was Timothy McVeigh. There was a lot of ties between them and the, what was that cult, the Waco cult. In the Waco cult's documentary, there's a scene where the reporters are showing all the people that are like waiting on the street, like in support of the cult.

And one of the dudes is the dude that bombed. Okay, see. Whoa. Isn't that Wait, I love a good crossover like that. Help me with this a little bit. One of them, I think it's the Timothy McFay or, or is it Ted? Cause Ted Kaczynski is the dude that built the bombs in the woods and then sent them to like Northwestern and he went to Harvard and was brilliant. Well, I think they say he was like a Harvard experiment. They've Harvard like fed him LSD and he people kind of have turned him into almost counterculture icon like a hero. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. He's aged well you could argue as far as terrorists. Yeah. Whereas Timothy McVeigh nobody likes him. No one fuck. Well he killed a bunch of children. Yeah. Whereas Timothy McVeigh, nobody likes him. No one. Fuck. Well, he killed a bunch of children. Okay. That's all I needed to know. Yeah. Cause he blew the building that he blew up. There was a daycare in the, in the first floor, I think. Yeah. But he's the kind of guy where like his haircut will become popular in like two years. Didn't he just have a buzz? Yeah. But the style of it. It was like a flat top, a white guy flat top buzz. I think I might go buzz next. Really?

You could pull off a buzz. You got a good hairline. Not really, it's okay. It's better than mine. I think your shit has been looking crispy. I think though, I don't think you should make a decision right now. No, I'm not gonna do it for a little while.

Is it cause of the comments? Is it cause of the comments? The last batch of comments. What are they saying? I people keep saying get a haircut. Oh, they are saying yeah, but I delete them I don't say that what's the point of deleting them if you're gonna tell them Well, I let them know give him a heads up You delete the comments so that you can tell me personally

Not you guys dude people come people have been commenting about my hair for my entire life. And then I got a buzz cut and people said that I lost my mind. I didn't. My eyes were open. Maybe I found my mind. Get another buzzy then. I kind of want to. All I want to eat right now. I, the only thing I want to eat right now are cookies what kind of you're pregnant I just want cookies all the time I'm thinking about cookies I'm from was good I crumble for the first time this weekend how'd you get it my little sister went and bought some did she wait in line I don't know she just came home from school and I remember Graham Bennett brought us a box of cookies he did yeah and inside there was a little there was a little thing of

lip gloss and he said she said this choose your next words you really bailed on that fit I was gonna say something and then I was like nah and then Ron said choose your words carefully and I and I stepped back he got a line I took a step back Wow I took a step back that's. I took a step back. That's on me. Truly, truly a gracious gift that he gave us. Crumble. What kind of cookies did he get? He didn't do that.

Double chunk chocolate chips. I was actually in analogous beat to him standing in line for the Haley Bieber's Road lift gloss. So this is what we do is analogous beat. It is crazy that Graham's literally waited in like a four hour long line to buy her wife lip gloss. And then just handed it to her. Not even in a box or a bag.

He just handed it to her like a fucking lighter. If you think for one second that there isn't a third analogous beat coming on this, then you don't know comedic structure. There's always a third. Oh, there is. And it'll be the most height and it'll be the most heightened. It'll be the big punch.

It'll be something about Nazis or Jesus or something. Exactly. Standing in line for the concentration camps. Yes. Nice. It stood in line famously that

the two by two on the way to most I what I heard was the animals. What I heard was that Graham Bennett is actually the guy in that photo from Tiananmen Square standing in front of the tanks. For real? Exactly. And he's holding up a thing of lip gloss and being like, don't come kill us. We're students. Yeah.

He was putting lip gloss into a soldier's gun during Vietnam. Yeah. That's Graham Bennett. That's what Graham Bennett did, that legend. Just a good guy overall. He's been around. Do you think he hates this? That's my boy, what are you talking about?

Why do you hate this? We're keeping his name alive. Because his ex-wife was on Barstool and now like two years have passed and we're still bringing him up. But we're speaking of him in a very glown face. In a very glown face. In fact only, and we're keeping alive the fact that it's way. In a very, in a very glowing way. In fact only. Yeah.

And we're keeping alive the fact that it's actually his name that she's using, not. True, true. Not her own. Mm-hmm. I told you it was when I saw him in West Village and it was right before I was going to Iceland, I think. Yes.

And I was like, I'm going to Iceland. And he was like, fuck, that sounds so fun. And I think he was like can I come? You should have let him. I would have if he asked if he could come I would have said dude absolutely. Yeah because then you would have stayed in nicer places probably. And he I ran into him at LaGuardia. Yeah oh yeah you told me this was recently.

And he was awesome. Yeah. He looked great. He's the man. He's the great guy. He's the goat. The goat. There I say he's the man. He's great guy. He's the goat The goat there I say he's the goat, but you how would you guys have fit in a tiny? Icelandic car folding his six six fucking hulking frame. We actually had a pretty good car. We had a rav

The new rav but rav is not holding you would have need the rav with the extendo legs True gram in or he's driving he would have had to drive or he's sitting front row and Peters is fucking Balled up Peters is pretty big too though Peters is probably what big six three Yeah, he's my size compared to fucking Bennett. No, he's big too. He's got nothing on Bennett Peters is Bennett I'm taller than Bo. Are you actually yeah? Well, he carries himself with so much more up big though. He's a beefy guy He that's a new thing You're not gonna give him credit for being strong? No, he's fucking jacked out of nowhere. It's disgusting. I hate it.

His ass is huge. You see him walking and it's like, dude, what the fuck is with your ass? He said that people have been coming up to him being like, dude, your ass is massive. He's on the rack? Yeah. Does he elevate his heels? Dude, he squats like 300 pounds. Does he elevate his heels? Dude, he squats like 300 pounds. Does he elevate his heels when he's doing it?

I don't know. You gotta ask him. Bo. You gotta work on your ass. I know. You're the kind of guy that needs to have like a gigantic ass. No, I'm never going to, and I'm OK with that.

I don't care. How is your ass now? It's good. It's good. It's small. It's small? You got a tight ass. I have a small butt.

No, it's nice. My ass is not even there. Yeah, you need belts. You just sit all day. You count on your dick to hold your pants up. Yeah, exactly. I count on my balls. You have the ass of a POW.

Your ass is, or like your dick is like a coat hook that your pants have to hang onto forward so it doesn't fall off. Dude, I went on a bike ride yesterday because I had a big gaming session that I was planning on having and I was like, I think I'll feel a lot better about playing video games if I get a little exercise in. If I go on an electric bike. No, so I took one of the manual bikes because I was like, this is at least something. Dude, never again again you can't even ride those bikes like for fun like I was on flat ground they're not fun I've never I've

never ridden on a bike before that goes slower the harder you pedal like the harder I'm pedaling it's slowing down it's really surreal to think that we rode those for you know yeah for years yeah I rode those yeah I used to ride I think I've for years. I rode those. I used to ride, I think I've told you this, I used to go out at night in New York when I was in my early 20s or whatever, and get banged up. Yeah, and ride those.

Shots, beers, shots. And then at six, two to three in the morning, I would ride an acoustic city bike home from the West Village across the Brooklyn Bridge to my apartment in Brooklyn Heights. Crossing the Brooklyn, going up that hill. It's a steep hill. And I would, by the time I got home, I'd be sober.

Yeah, I'm sure. From that much exercise. Yeah, I'm sure. That's why I did it. Dude, those bikes suck. Yeah, they were the worst. The sweat that you get from going up the bridge is in saying yeah, dude, I hadn't I hadn't been on one of those and in since I like probably since the first year that I moved here and

Dude I got on it and I started pedaling and I got off the bike I was like some I was like something's wrong with this one Like I literally thought that there was something I thought there was like a flat tire or something. Hmm, and then it was just no That's just how it is. Yeah, some were better than others, but it was not, never good. It was because we just didn't know. Compared to the e-bikes now.

It's just like, we didn't know that there was anything better than the wagon. But the e-bike is, dude, the e-bike is the same speed as just a normal bike. Wrong. A road bike. A road bike. It's the same speed as a road bike.

You're talking a guy wearing, you know, US Postal Team Spandex, clip-in fucking shoes. That road bike. Well, like a mountain bike is significantly faster than the blue city bike. Yeah. Because they probably have more speeds to it. Like if you really push on like a 10 or 21 speed bike you could probably get somewhere This is a three speed bike dude. It's just it's it doesn't even make sense to me Going up the hill and you just start rolling back. Yeah trying to go over a bridge

Yeah, having to engage your core as you roll backwards, but at least it got you right for your video games I mean it helps it did get it like. How far did you go? I went down to the World Trade Center, and then I started biking back. And then I actually stopped and walked home. I was like, dude, this is slower than walking. I mean, I would almost encourage you to just walk. It took me like an hour to get to the World Trade Center. I think walking is good for you.

Yeah, biking is good too, though. No, I would walk. Because I was on the path. So it's like you're going the whole time. Yeah, but if you too though. No, I would walk. Because I was on the path, so it's like you're going the whole time. Yeah, but if you walk on the path, apparently that's where all the hot chicks are. Oh yeah. It's definitely where the hot dudes are. There was a lot of hot people out.

Were there? Yeah, and I was staring at everybody. Yeah. First thing in the morning I heard is the hottest dudes of all time. I've heard that as well. I've heard like five in the morning, the dudes running. You can't talk to a guy that early I don't understand the I hate them. I hate the dudes with the shirts off

Running and there's just zero jiggle because they make you feel insecure It's cuz you feel insecure when I run like I can like my stomach Smacks down as I'm going up it twerks. Yeah. You make it clap. It's like a constant whipping motion. Sass running sounds like, sounds like. Swoosh, swoosh. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But they run and it's just zero movement anywhere.

It's like when like a Chilean person is playing a Morocco. There's a double shake to it. It's like a chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, instead of chick, chick, chick. It's like the shake on both ends of it It's kind of nice. Yeah, you see a super jackdude running. I'm always confused by that. I Don't like when I see the jackdudes running with their shirts off and I don't like when I see dudes running and having conversations while they're running

The reason I feel the way I did about the comment I just made before he changed the subject I was curious to know this is There's no way that you can they must be using that run as a warm-up or they lift it earlier in the day. You can't, in my opinion, I don't think you can be super jacked and run like that. And run that way. I think they do cardio once a week. You think? Yeah or they'll do like 15 minutes of cardio. I appreciate you coming back to my train of thought. Of course. It could be a three days on. I'm here, bro.

I'm here. Three days heavy weights, three days cardio. Or do you think that that's not enough to get to their weight? I think he's right. I think it's one day of cardio that they're doing, and then they're lifting four days a week or something. You don't think there's jacked marathon runners? There are, but they lose it.

I remember I used to follow this dude on Instagram who was huge. I remember that. I know this guy. And then he started started running marathons and he lost like 50 pounds of muscle, but he was still jacked. Yeah He also got pretty fucking good at running. I mean, oh, yeah Yeah We talked to business past week. He was saying that the hockey guys workout is basically just standing statically workout is basically just standing statically in like a lunge position. So you're not bending the knee constantly, but you're doing like a weighted lunge and just building up the tension over time. Do you remember when you said that?

Yeah. They're crazy. We were bending those guys ears about how to get fucking rocking hot bods. Yeah, I'm thinking about getting a hot bod. I also asked him about, you know, when they're in season, they're playing every other day. Are you really able to fucking work out? Because before the season they lift, they get into really good shape. They build a lot of muscle. Yeah.

And then the season starts and it just sloughs off. Yeah. And he said that the really good players know how to kind of maintain. Everyone sort of just maintains. What, so they work out while they're in season? Yeah. Because if that was me and I played a hockey game, I'd be like, that was my workout for the week. But they work out, like I remember- It's a slightly different tier. Yeah. Well, they're a different level. But- Yes. Now with the idea of like doing a, playing a hockey game, coming out drenched in sweat

and then like the, the good guys, they just go and hit the gym right after. Some do. That's what Kobe does at least or Kobe did. Well the NFL players do it the most because they have to keep the muscle on in order to compete the way that they do. Yeah. That's what there's that, there was that, I've always seen that clip on Instagram of the dude talking about how he,

it was like the day after they lost in the finals, the Lakers, and the guy was like, I want to be the first one at the gym. And then he got to the gym and Kobe had already been, he already, he just finished lifting and he was going to shoot hoops. I was so impressed from that hard knock season where Jameis Winston was on the show

and he was in the gym at 5.30 every morning. Yeah. Why not just go at like 8? Because practice is at 8. So why not just go like at 7? Because you have to get the playbook tape study at 7. Go at 6. You have to eat breakfast at 6.

What's the difference between 6 and 5. Eat breakfast at 5. 6 and 5 at 30. Extra hour of sleep. I never understood that. I have a hard time with the whole, well, I wake up at 3 in the morning. I hit the gym. It's like, yeah, you also go to bed at 6 PM.

Yeah, right. Mark Wahlberg's routine, is it really that impressive? No. You're just avoiding your family. Yeah, exactly. You're just inconveniencing everyone around you. Just a bad dad. Yeah.

Exactly. He's also lying. We're awake the same amount of time. Yeah, he's definitely lying. But it's like, we're awake the same amount of time. Yeah, he's definitely lying But it's like we're awake the same amount of time You're just going to bed at 5 p.m. And waking up at 2 in the morning Like you're just awake when no one's awake you ever hear the people who are like I have three days and every one of my days I have my like my 5 o'clock to 11 o'clock day Then I have my 11 o'clock to my 5 o'clock day. Yeah, and then I have my 5 o'clock to my five o'clock day yeah and then I have my five o'clock to my eleven o'clock I think

SAS lives one day a week yeah last week was a tough day I mean I I lost a lot of time I'm literally I grind you guys just don't see it yeah when you get that Tony Hawk video game dust it a lot of time. Bruh, I'm literally, I grind. You guys just don't see it. Yeah, when you get that Tony Hawk video game dusted off. I don't play skateboarding video games? That was a grinding joke. True.

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The Mark Wahlberg thing doesn't make any sense though What I remember I used to look at his schedule and be like damn, that's so badass But it was like it's like wake up at 2 a.m. Workout play 18 holes of golf Family like imagine like having kids and having family time written down in your calendar Yeah, you're just living your life as though you're in Belgium. Yeah. Like, imagine, like, getting an alert on your calendar, and it's like, fuck, family time starts in 10 minutes. I'm gonna be late for family time. I'm on the 19th green.

And then imagine being those kids. And then you gotta be like, dude, we have to hang out with dad for two hours every day. Yeah, but you know what? Because it's in his calendar. I'm waking up early to hang out with dad as he's getting off the Yeah, but you know what? Because it's in his calendar. I'm waking up early to hang out with dad as he's getting off the golf course. You know what I've realized, dude?

Stay blessed, though. Is that being around some people, I don't even know who I was around recently, someone who was like very successful. And I saw that their entire day had to be booked out because everyone wants a piece of them. And you realize that with certainly politicians, you know, that they have these aides and these advisors.

And I remember like the president, I don't know, I read Obama, the first part of Obama's memoir, and he talked about how, you know, he books out 15 minute windows and that amount of time is so valuable. He's like seeing the vice premier of, you know, Korea. What did Bro do on Saturdays? Just listen to some hip-hop. College football? College football and hip-hop? Yeah, I mean there's just never a minute where he's like, fuck, what should I do right now? No, because it comes up in his calendar and it's like listen to hip-hop for 10 minutes. And he

has to put that in to protect it. Didn't Ronald Reagan argue that the presidency was a nine to five job? Did he? I'm pretty sure he did, which is a hilarious thing to just be like, hey, tell fucking Iran they could call me at nine tomorrow morning. I thought it was off at five. You ever have a teacher like that? Where you'd be like, my laptop goes off at three. Imagine Putin knocking on the door of the Oval Office and fucking Bush or someone is like,

nope, time's up, I'm outta here. I'm having a pork chop. I'm having a pork chop and a glass of Chablis. The bell rang, friend. See you tomorrow. Just watching Mork and Mindy or whatever Ronald Reagan was watching at night. I was watching some local programming watching good times or in living color Whatever the fuck he was watching I guess in living color would be a little bit after a little after Reagan's time

When they are that's a good question because he got out of office in 88 when did in living color start 91? I believe it was 92 We will put this show on I would be impressed if you actually got that right. 1990. Mmm, two years off. To 94. You said it was such certainty. I don't even know what Even Living Color is. It was a black sketch show that Jim Carrey was on. Isn't that Jamie Foxx? Jamie Foxx and the Wayans Brothers. And Jim Carrey too? Jim Carrey was the white guy on it and he was so fucking funny. That's cool. They had a black sketch show in 1990? Bro, it's 1990.

You're acting like it's like civil rights. I think it launched Jamie Foxx's career. They had a black sketch show in 1865? That was a little quick. It was just people sketching black people. Have you seen this man? 1865. I was a little quick. It was just people sketching black people. Have you seen this man? We're looking for him.

1990 to 1994. Wow. April 15th. Tax day. Right. Wow. Unless you're me, then it's October 2nd. I'm still paying. So did Ronald Reagan ever watch In Living Color? Probably, but not in office. No. Probably not. Probably like he had a lazy day. Yeah. Or he probably was aware that it was coming two years early. Mr. President, they have a new show coming. And he goes, I'm not running again.

This country's going to shit. This country's going to shit. Jim Carrey, I don't think so. What do you guys think? Who's gonna win the presidency? We're getting close now. We are. 40 days. I forgot I had a mail-in voting thing, and I didn't.

I forgot it. I've been getting so many text messages being like, would you like to help us commit voter fraud? Adam, this is Obama. You ever get those? Yeah, all the time. This is Obama. Take a seat.

You ever get those? I get ones that are like, no, you're the last name we needed for this petition. Really? And they get mad, it's robotic, but they get mad at me. And it's just, it's just- Try to guilt me. Biden just texting you. Why have you abandoned Kamala's thing?

Like who put me on this list? Yeah. Who put me, now some of them, this one is even about voting. Urgent notice to taxpayers hundreds of millions of taxpayer funded kovat relief Hundreds of millions in taxpayer funded kovar relief were wasted on projects unrelated to kovat 19 call your senator support fucking S57 like what the fuck who who why are they texting me this what who gave them this information was it Marriott? Was it Hilton?

So reticent to give my phone number up because of bullshit like this we're not gonna We're just gonna have be able to do it. I've been getting called from the fuck you I've been getting called by the equinox For four years straight and I block the, and they call me from another number. Whoa. Sneak one out, bro. And this is all because I called them once and asked how much it costs to join the Equinox,

and then they said how much it costs, or they like loosely hint at how much it costs. They're like, can you send us a headshot? We'll respond with a price. And then I said, I can't do that, and they've been calling me weekly since then. It's crazy to, that should be illegal. If I block the original number and then they're like,

he blocked us call from another number. Yeah. Is that not insane? I heard that it's, and well, it's probably, was it Indian people calling you? No, whites. Cause I heard that 70% of Equinox call team is from a small town in India.

Dude, one time this guy that... He was, I was trying to get a job at a law firm because I was trying to go to law school and this guy that was a friend of my sister's said he could help me because he worked at the law firm. Just wanted to be a paralegal or whatever. And he said, send me over your resume, send it over. And he's like, great, I'll put this in front of some people. Let's connect in a couple of days on the phone. But I think we can help you. And so a week went by, I reached out again, sent him an

email. So the same email that we'd corresponded. Yeah, yeah. Just checking in, whatever. No response. Another week goes by, checked in again, no response. And then like a month went by and we'd had a pretty lively correspondence up to this point. And I checked in one more time and never heard from him. And it's one of those things that I've never stopped thinking about. Why he ghosted you? Well, he clearly, yeah, clearly he decided or foresaw that there was no opportunity. Yeah.

And he never, instead of just being like, hey dude, I checked in on this and sorry, the program's full or whatever, he just said, I'm gonna wait until he stops messaging me. Yeah. And sometimes I think about going back and reaching out to him again, being like, hey man, just checking in on this.

You should. It's been 10 years. Yeah, still waiting. Not as happened, I think my candidacy is stronger now. Yeah, yeah. I've learned a lot, I think I have a really good shot here. What if you hit him up again and then he offered you a position for like a million dollars a year? Would you take it?

No, that wouldn't happen. Well what if it did? Would you take it? It's just a really dumb exercise because I have no legal expertise. I have not even been in that field. But you could still get it. People get lucky. Well this guy's a bastard. Oh, right. Well that would be a... He is a rat bastard or that'd be a way in yeah, just to hit up his boss and say look at this guy Yeah, take his job. Yeah, and I mean he's a bastard. You've obviously proven you're worse in the workplace Why don't you just go to his boss and be like you have a bastard working for you and you could have a fucking Adonis

Working. Yeah, and then hit him with an email and just be like, be careful spitting in the wind, bitch. Shit's coming right back in your face. You thought I forgot. Ten years later, now I'm your boss. I went to my, I was in my choir when I was in seventh or eighth grade, seventh grade, seventh grade we went to a competition in Disney World and there was a kid named David in front of me and we went on Space Mountain and he spit on Space Mountain and Shit came right back in his face. No, no it hit me. Oh Jesus I would actually kill that person if they did that I found I like fought the laws of physics and spit on the back of his head

Do I would be... That would like... I actually don't know if I can think of something that would make me more angry than that. Spit. On Space Mountain. On Space Mountain? And it hit me square in the face. Like if I'm having a good time on Space Mountain,

oh my god, I would have to like... I would think I would actually lose control of myself. I would crash the Space Mountain ride. I would take us all for a fucking ride. Yeah. And just off the road. Yeah. take us all for a fucking ride. Yeah and just Off the road. Yeah, like the oil oil family nastiness go Doyle

Doyle rules. Yeah, they were all redheads and It was one of those things where there was just a period there were a lot of movies that were popular had redheads as bullies which was so Antithetical because in my experience I got bullied because I had redheads as bullies, which was so antithetical because in my experience, I got bullied because I had red hair. It's not right. That's not right. And it's really because Hollywood wanted to vilify the redhead. No, I don't wanna talk about it.

We've gotten past it. Hollywood wanted to take down the redhead. They wanted the redhead to be in a non-sympathetic role. For some reason. All those bullies were redheads. Thank God for Conan O'Brien. What do people say to you? Does the carpet match the drapes? Does it?

Does, uh, they call me fireballs, firecrotch, Ginger, Faggot. Oh no. I know, trust me, I hated it. What the fuck? Here's one I want to, I don't know, I wanna say leave you guys with, but I have a question that if your pubes receded like a hairline, would they recede towards

or away from your penis? Away. Didn't we talk about this recently? Yes, but. away from your penis? Away. Didn't we talk about this recently? Yes, but. You and I did? Yes. Where? In Chicago.

Oh, okay. Where were we talking about that? Probably on surviving barstools. Right, okay. Probably towards, right? Towards or away? Towards. Towards. Final answer.

Towards your balls? Yeah. I don't agree. I think it's gonna go up. But that wouldn't be receding, that would be growing. No, but it's gonna move off of your penis and up your stomach. Oh, I see. The whole patch is moving?

Like a migrating flock of wildebeests. Dude, imagine if you woke up one morning and there was just an inch gap between like your pubes and your dick. That's what we're saying. That would be insane. You'd be like, what the fuck happened? Would you go to the doctor if that happened? Like if you woke up one day and it was just not, it wasn't even that big, but it was like

a clean inch, like there's no hair on that inch. Would you go to the doctor? Of course, it's probably from over-jelking. Yeah, true. If you jelk too much, you fucking. That is a symptom of over-jelking. You start receding. Dude, if some people like the jelking talk,

some other people were like, jelking's been around forever. How are you guys this fucking dumb? Imagine listening to that podcast yesterday and being like, Jesus Christ. We're just getting on jelking on how are they just finding out about you Why don't we start talking about Furbies and Tamagotchi and I seriously this late 90s conversation of jelking you ever have a Tamagotchi Probably I had one I never really fucked with it though. I think mine's died

I played with that thing for like an hour just killed them. It's so stupid. It's like what is it for? It's so Japanese It's just like you're Japanese you just have to feed your fucking your keychain so it doesn't die. Yeah. Oh I forgot to feed my keychain. It kind of feels like something like that like Nick would like still be into now. Like you'd go over to his apartment and he would have like a thousand Tamagotchis. Like reading them a bedtime story. They actually like it. Or you'd be like at a bar with him and be like I gotta go I gotta go feed my time I got you. Yeah, I can see that Got his ass. All right, that was a good son. Good son. I'm gonna be in I'm gonna be in Baltimore tomorrow and Through Saturday, please come

Because last time I was supposed to be in Baltimore the tickets weren't selling well, and then I canceled it I Didn't well that I didn't Baltimore, the tickets weren't selling well and then I canceled it. I didn't cancel it because the tickets weren't selling well, but I canceled it and everyone was like, dude, what the hell? I was so pumped for that. So buy your tickets, please. All right. We'll ask what website.com. Soon to change.

We're changing the name of the site. To harrysaddle.com? You'll'll see harrysaddlewebsite.com Harrysaddle.com is taken. Oh, yeah, I went by me Holy shit, but you won't use it for this. Yeah We use in case someone wants to buy it later down the road exactly exactly All right, exactly Goodbye