Son of a Boy Dad - Workshopping | Son of a Boy Dad #212

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

Workshopping | Son of a Boy Dad #212 -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, ready? Yep. All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. all righty welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast we are here again from hq3 me and francis again for roan still has covid believe it or not yeah things have changed in a lot things haven't changed in the last 10 minutes um yeah that's okay we're gonna we're gonna rip this shit

yeah i feel like people get people get mad that we banked the episodes, but also it's really that or Zoom. There's no other options. Yeah. Because everyone travels. Everyone travels. Rone is a very highly in-demand guy at this company. He has another podcast with a very troublesome nba player just a guy with a real

attitude problem you're going on the road with those foreplay guys great guys all around yes respectable guys but the thing is yeah so we were gonna have to bank it anyway but you guys are both going on you guys are both leaving tomorrow dude i gotta tell you something there's so on this i'm here i'm always here foreplay trip uh i'm just going to help with the barcel classic because You guys are both leaving tomorrow. Dude, I got to tell you something. I'm here. I'm always here. Foreplay trip. I'm just going to help with the Barstool Classic because they're a little shorthanded. Frankie and Riggs can't go to this one.

So I'll be there with Trent and Hannah Cook and I guess some other people. um trent trent did something when we were out in south dakota north dakota that trip that just reminded me of you um we were on the road for four days driving thousands if not hundreds of thousands of miles and really spending a lot of time together bonding you know having each other's backs we get to the last it's the last night we're in north dakota we're in uh bismarck and we're all staying at an airbnb just one house you know bunk beds bonding whatever we pull the r in. We unload our crap. The RV takes off. And we figure out where we're going to dinner. Yeah. And it's the last night of the trip. Tie a bow on this thing.

Celebration. Goodbye, everyone. It's been a great time. Yeah. And we're at the house. And we're waiting for our Ubers. And Trent goes, I'm not coming to dinner and i was like what do you mean and he was asked i'm not gonna go

and you can't even ask him why yeah he just goes i'm just i'm just not. And I've never been, I've never had that be an answer. Yeah. Where for me to ask for more information would have made me the asshole. Yeah. But he stayed home and he ordered a pizza delivered. Ate it. We got back. He was chilling.

And that was it. The rest of us went out to the final dinner. And Trent wasn't there. there yeah and it was okay and i asked frank i was like does that happen a lot and he was like yeah sometimes he's just not in the mood and he'll just tell you i'm not going yeah well i've never heard of that i've never dude when when i get out of something the things that I feel that I have to come up with... Oh, yeah. ...to justify to people why I'm not coming... Yeah.

...it almost feels arrogant. Yeah. Listen, I'm so sorry I can't make it. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of deaths in the family... Yeah, yeah....over the last seven or eight minutes i've never seen that old uh dane cook bit where he's talking about the friend who like invited him to the party and he talks about that he was and then he's like yeah of course yeah i'll definitely be there and he's like i'm never gonna see this guy again they were like at the grocery store

and uh and then he sees the friend again a week later and he's like you didn't make the party it's like we were all waiting for you to come and he's like you'll never believe and he talks about he's like my car i'm driving we hit a rock car flips over he's like it's really funny yeah and then the great uh i think you should leave sketch is similar to that which one's that season one when they go to uh the party and they're late and they the guy's like why should we tell them why we're late or something like that and he's like they go their separate ways and then he's like yeah i'm sorry we're late we um we just like there was this we were involved

in this hit and run and the guy's like what and he starts getting mad at him for like asking for more he's like the cost but they didn't care at all this person just didn't matter that's hilarious uh yeah i do the same exact shit i can never tell someone it's funny because you you realize it's if you just say that if you just tell the truth people don't care no not okay not only do they not care but then here's the weird part right i'm at a point now where when i actually do show up to something i almost feel like i deserve praise yeah almost like uh you guys don't understand how close i was to not yeah yeah and it took a lot for me to stay true to our plan yeah because you know i think i mean it's it's no new information here but it almost never feels like the wrong decision to not go no never at this point never

especially i would think for you because you just seem so happy at home yeah yeah there's never once been a moment, eh, I don't know. I guess there's times where I'm like, that would have been fun, I could have done that. I don't really do a lot of things for fun. Do you think that, do you ever feel guilty that you live in New York City and just don't take advantage of 99.9% of the amazing things that are offered here?

No, not at all, because there's actually not that many things. That's not true. There's like museums and parks. And Broadway shows and great theater and musical acts and restaurants and weird cultural things that you just don't have in any other part of the world yeah i guess there's good restaurants and theater and stuff but i don't like theater and i'm not obsessed with food like you guys are i went and saw john mulaney and nick kroll in oh hello on broadway yeah and it was probably the single best thing i ever saw in new york

yeah i mean shit like that's cool but i do stuff like that i would go see something like that was broadway that's theater yeah but you i don't know i'm like a i'm not like a musical i'm not gonna go to like go see fucking wicked i'm not saying we should go see wicked steve carell is playing in a drama i know on broadway right now should we go no i have no interest in doing what if we went like i can think of like 10 things i'd rather do than that you wouldn't do any of those things though but that no i would i do there's not 10 things that you're gonna do ahead of that there's one thing gun game team death match search and destroy search and destroy hardcore resurgence i put that all under the umbrella of stay home

play video games come on it's a limited run let's go see steve carell on broadway no no i'm not gonna do that but i appreciate the offer no i wasn't i mean i wasn't gonna yeah we were never gonna do that we were we were gonna split it the cost no yeah no i assumed i assumed i would be paying i'm not gifting you a night out on the town. I'm courting you. Also, part of the thing with that is I think it comes from living that we used to live in Hell's Kitchen. And the idea of even going close to Times Square is hell. You got to get over the Times Square part of it.

We're not going to Times Square. We're quickly navigating Times Square to get into an air-conditioned theater. If I could stay away from Times Square for the rest of my life i would yeah and like even having to just pass through fine fine like the fact that i only ever had to do carolines like twice before it closed yeah oh all right how about this god how about this uh here's the middle ground do you like art at all are you at all no not even what if you saw like van goes and rembrandt i've seen i've seen the mona lisa i've seen stuff like that yeah that's too much though that's like yeah i like i like going to a museum walking through a museum i

don't mind it how are you saying that museum sorry for because i i always i pronounce it museum why would you do that because that's just how i grew up pronouncing that's how everyone i knew pronounced it but then you i came i met other people and they're all like museum like i don't know what how do you pronounce how does how is it supposed to be pronounced museum museum there's an e in there museum yeah see i always pronounced it museum that's how every like if i called my parents right now they would say museum i grew up pronouncing it room instead of room and broom instead of broom and roof instead of roof okay well all those sounded finally until you said rough and well maybe i didn't do that like rum like room instead of room is fine rough instead of roof is just not

how it's pronounced i didn't do that i just said that because i know some people do but i don't i didn't do that yeah the point being enough people corrected me that i changed it yeah that's what i was trying to do there but i don't remember how people pronounce it so i was having a hard time changing it fine theick collection on the upper east side is a small museum and it only would take us we could be there for 45 minutes oh i thought you're gonna say 10 45 is too long you need 45 45 is too long to be walking around and looking at it's small it's it's it's a house it's a mansion yeah i'd rather go to like a big one though. I want to go to like the Smithsonian or something. No, because there's too much and it all starts to blend together.

Like that shit I like. I go to the Smithsonian or like the... Guggenheim? They had some good museums in Boston. We could go to the Guggenheim. I don't think you're going to like that. We could go to the MoMA. No, I don't want to.

I'm not going to like any of them. You would like the Frick because it's... Like as much as I would like to see it's like a greatest hits museum the the nasa museum in in in huntsville alabama i've been to the air and space museum in dc that's kind of cool yeah yeah you know what that was it i didn't yeah actually i went to a museum in uh i went to the smithsonian with derek drescher and mook in dc we went to uh the history one and we went we tried to go to the air and space one but the line was insane you gotta make reservations i didn't love it it was a little too child oriented there were a lot

of touch this button and do this thing i don't like that i didn't like that i had to wait behind a five-year-old for my turn what What's the one where you go and you touch? You never land the lunar module. What's the one with the animals? Is that the history? Yeah, it's probably the Museum of Natural History. Yeah, that one was pretty sick. In New York?

No, in DC. They've got one here. It had a big-ass grizzly bear. Live? Yep. Interesting. Okay, so you like animals. No. why would it be live wasn't a zoo well the museum of natural history here in new york had an exhibit of birds of paradise or

something oh they're real birds and they were real birds flying around yeah they also had a butterfly exhibit that i'll never forget it was amazing and you walked in and they had sort of misty leafy plants soaring towards the top of this light-filled greenhouse and you felt transported into the rainforest as butterflies flapped around and some even landed on you i think yeah i like some shit like that but it's got to be i got a very specific like i i don't want to go see art i don't want to go see sculptures i like like i saw abe that was sick you saw the lincoln memorial yeah abe was cool it's amazing that was cool to see i've seen it before but i saw it again it's worth going my adult years and i was sick um declaration of

independence was sick um like but then you're like well it's not even the real declaration of independence so who gives a fuck we talk about 9-11 a lot what if we went to the 9-11 memorial i've seen that oh i have not you've never seen the 9-11 you know what happened dude is when it opened people were so you lived here for like 12 years let me finish my excuse people when it opened i was here when it opened yeah and everyone was here when it happened i'm gonna ask you for a moment of silence as i finish talking about a very tragic moment okay uh when it opened continue i'm just grabbing the water when it opened the everyone said you can't get in the

reservations are forever the lines are too long all this this, like, you know, you can't go. Yeah. I always just thought that was, I never let go of that thought, even though I'm sure. I've never been to the museum. I've been to the memorial as we were talking about the memorial. I haven't been, I've been down there,

but I've never even seen. I haven't been i've been down there but i've never even seen i'm not i haven't walked around the the water i've seen that like 10 times really yeah and i've lived here for four years okay well let's go let's go to the museum why would i go it's not something i'm like dying to get back to well we talked about it enough i think the event we deserves our further understanding. I actually went to that with Roan. Did you? Yeah. That's pretty solemn. No, we just walked by it.

It's like I've walked by it. Like I've never like saw it. Then maybe I have. I've never like gone. You would know. It's two massive holes in the ground. I've walked by. And you want to know what's down there That big white sort of bone like structure

The train station? Yeah That's right next to it right? Yeah Yeah I like I like going to like Hall of Fames That's cool Me and Mook went to the Toronto

The Hockey Hall of Fame But that's the thing They have the Stanley Cup there and you're like is it the stanley cup it's the real stanley cup and then you see a little kid like driving a toy police car all over the stanley cup and you're like yeah that's not the stanley we could pick that thing up and walk out of here and they'd be like just get the other one just bring out they bring out one of the dozen that we have in the back they did a pretty damn good job of creating a replica because i found that the names they don't have the names are real yeah yeah they're hammering all the names in of all the players yeah at some point they're gonna run out of space

they they do run out of space it's rings oh so they're just adding more layers to it they take no they take the rings off and they put them in the hall of fame and then they put on top of the new rings oh i'm pretty sure that's what it is that's cool not positive but i'm pretty sure nice because the stanley cup has been around for a while yes it has they have to put every person's name on it lord stanley yep lord stanley's gonna be oh i guess he already was in the building oh yeah right um all right well okay that's good that you have no qualms about missing out on uh the the feast of culture well like i'm trying to get one of the museums i like i like you can't keep saying it that way i'm sorry it's it's it's just unbelievably annoying the kind of museums

that i'm into are i like the hockey hall of fame like the hockey hall of fame was sick like they they had a lot of cool shit there if there were a fishing museum we could go to that i'm sure there is um let's see what other ones like i like the airplane i like the air and space shit i wanted to see that but they the line was too long um i like the animals i like that stuff i like when they have replicas of the size what is that oh very fun boom that's up my way yeah get up there in half hours yeah cat skills are great drake said he's got a boy up there that we could take us fishing. Did he? Yeah, our buddy Drake.

He actually said that? Yeah, he said if we ever wanted to float the cat skills, his buddy could take us. I'm sure his buddy wouldn't want to do that. You never know. It is kind of funny to just pin that on one of your friends. My friend's like, I got a friend up there who would take you guys. And then he's like, no, I fucking wouldn't. I'm going to go out fishing with these guys for well we would pay him yeah you would pay him

uh all right i could probably teach him a thing or two honestly you think no no me neither definitely not he was probably unbelievably good at fishing all right uh oh have you read Hemingway's Big Two-Hearted River? No, I've started it. Have you read the Nick Adams stories? No. I haven't read any Hemingway, to be fully honest. I've started A Man in the Sea, The Man in the Sea.

Old Man in the Sea. Old Man in the Sea. I've started that a lot. I have it on my Kindle. It's only like 85 pages. It's like the Sea. I've started that a lot. I have it on my Kindle. It's only like 85 pages. It's like 100 pages. Yeah, it's pretty short. But the big two-hearted river is about fly fishing.

Yeah. And you'd like it. I'm not just saying that. No, I know I would like it. You should commit yourself. They're short stories. They're not hard to get through. Yeah.

It's right up your alley. Yeah. I'm trying to suggest things that I think you would like. Yeah, but everyone always tries to do that. they're short stories they're not hard to get through yeah it's right up your alley yeah i'm trying to suggest things that i think you would like yeah but everyone always tries to do that but i have things that i like and i like them and i do them all the time i think we all just want to see you add some more dimension to your life yeah but like i'm i'm satisfied yeah but they're satisfied and then there's like there's really nothing that i'm like dying to change maybe if i had a maid that would be cool yeah actually i 100 agree with that and i almost want to give you a birthday present of maid visits yeah i would love a maid because i know that as soon as you have her come one time

you're gonna be like i cannot live without this. Yeah. I'd like a maid. I'd like a... Why haven't you done a maid? Because I don't want to spend money for someone to clean my tiny apartment. I can clean it myself. It takes 30 minutes. You don't clean it, though. You don't clean the bathroom.

It's the bathroom. I do clean the bathroom. No, you don't. I do. You're not on your hands and knees scrubbing the grime and grit. I clean it constantly. Do you have cleaning fluid and solution? I actually literally...

Yeah. What sort of suds and stuff do you have? Spray. What kind? I don't know. Do you have bathroom cleaner? Do you have cleaning fluid actually literally yeah what sort of suds and stuff do you have spray what kind do you bathroom cleaner do you have toilet cleaner do you bleach i've cleaned my toilet i cleaned my entire bathroom like a week ago i literally guy i scrubbed the entire tub it's just they're professional that's their calling yeah and they're also in your apartment which is annoying leave for a moment i don't want to they're there for two hours not even two hours is a long time to be away from home yeah it's their calling you cleaning you cleaning your bathroom is taking a job away from someone

that loves to do that what do they take another 5% of my income? I'm not adding anymore. Anyone else to the team? They have to be in my weekly meetings. I got, I got, I do everything I want to do. I play video games. I played video games this morning at like 8 a.m. So I woke up at 530 and then I got out of bed and i was like well i guess i'll get

my day started and then i was like with what what am i gonna do i have nothing to do i watched two youtube videos ate breakfast drank coffee and then i was like i guess i'll play some call of duty and that was fun and then i recorded dog walk and then i did this and now i'm gonna go home probably play more video games and then watch the nhl stanley cup sorry guys it hasn't happened for us yet and then i'm going to go to bed all right fine look you know that's a good day that's a solid day like what would you add into that mix because that's like a that's a that's an good day that's a solid day like what would you add into that mix because that's like that's a that's an ideal day for me i'm not telling you to go to a museum today no spots tonight thank god needed a break right back at it tomorrow oh man i don't know my best days are well you know what it is dude i want to have shit to talk

to you about bro and i come to your side of the aisle hey how are the video games how's the fishing yeah and i can't be like have you seen any good art installations lately? Have you read any good books? Who could you talk about that with? Roan. Roan? You think Roan's going to see art? Yes, I do. No, he's not.

Yes, he does. No, he isn't. He does cool shit. He's going off to Japan. Roan does cool shit. He goes to restaurants, which is cool. And travels and has culturally travel all the travel more than ron no he just travels for fun well when i travel by force

huh fair enough fair enough what are you eating these days a lot of fucking turkey sandwiches are you yeah and i'm making them no where are you buying from west fourth marketplace what do they put on those sandwiches turkey lettuce tomato mayo and they just started adding mayo finally it's a big deal they weren't before that weren't and i would write in the notes add mayo and they never would what about so i had to buy my own mayo. What about some... Oh my God, you would put mayo on sandwiches that were getting... And these are getting delivered to you?

That's a part of my life that I agree needs to change. But it's tough because it's like you go out, you buy all these groceries, and then you're on the road the next day, and then you come home and your fucking kitchen stinks like old vegetables. I'm not telling you to cook i'm saying go walk down the street to get i walk down the street and get shit all the time yeah i go to the deli right by my apartment and i get food but they're they don't they don't have good food no and i hate to tell them because they love me and i love them but i have a hard time telling

they don't have iced coffee all they have is hot coffee let's get some iced in there you got plenty of good coffee spots around you i do but i don't want i don't like going to those places they freak me out why i don't like going into those like coffee shops where it's like everyone's on their laptop and then they all look at you when you walk in what do you mean it's like very intimate looking at you when you walk in and then the menu is like a puzzle you guys have just coffee right just normal i'll just do one normal just throw a couple ice cubes in there oh no that's cold brew well i don't want a cold brew i just want a nice coffee okay you can ask for a nice coffee they're not gonna be they're not gonna be puzzled by that it's a little intimate too intimate that's a little much it's a little much

what about a plant i thought about it would you get a plant for your home i thought about getting a plant yeah i think you'd do well with a plant i don't really have anywhere to put them though near the window that's where i put my fishing gear that's my gear storage area because that i don't have a lot of space there's not a lot of storage space in my apartment so that area is full storage you like going to sporting events yeah depends depends i did and then i started gambling and now i'm like well i want to watch all the games at the same time like the idea of going to a football game at 1 p.m it's like well then i'm going to miss every other 1 p.m game um we used to play pool all the time we did and would i be able to get you back into that

yeah i would play pool i mean i'd like to do that i'd go to a hall i'd like to do that i've texted you before being like let's go play pool and then you're always like oh totally forgot that i have pilates today or i'm at the museum yeah i've we've made i've been on my way to play pool with you and you've canceled. That's not true. I remember it. You're wrong about this. It was when I lived.

I stopped asking you to play pool because you didn't want to play with me anymore. I remember walking down the sixth floor walk up that we used to live in. And I remember you calling me and going, hey, are you on your way? And I'm like, yeah, I'm getting in the Uber right now. And you're like, I think I'm just going to go back to my apartment and go to the gym, honestly. I'll see you at the stand later. And I was like okay i guess i'll cancel the uber i'm sorry vivid memories of that i'm sorry i do i remember doing that yeah that's not fair also i mean pool's fun but it's also what's a fucking 300 a day like hobby if you pull you could play at like a bar we go for two hours we're not really drinking anymore

oh one of us isn't one of us is drinking enough for two of us i won't be i'll come to you it's not even that you're still drinking you're just not drinking alcohol diet coke at that place doesn't cost the same as a beer no it doesn't no it doesn't i No, it doesn't. I'm struggling. God forbid a man wants a zero zero. I'm struggling to write a new hour. I haven't even tried to write new jokes in the last month. I got one that's good. I got one.

I got one that's good. I got one too. But I don't. I don't know. I had one that I wrote down last or two nights ago. And it's, it's, it's not great, but it was the best I could think of. It was about the incidental charges at hotels.

Oh, that's good. I like that. They charge you for incidentals in case you throw your head through the wall or something like that. And then I was, and then the joke was that, that that's the only place where they charge you for something in advance before you actually do it.

They charge you in case things go really wrong. Yeah. And then I was saying that would be like if you walked into Walmart and they said, we're just going to charge you $3 million. And then we'll work backwards from there based on what you didn't buy. We'll subtract all the things that aren't on fire when you leave the store yeah so that was all right we're workshopping here that was the big idea you can use that fire part if you want no i'd be honest i zoned out as soon as you said it no i'm kidding it was a joke i thought we were workshopping

yeah that was the big one but then it's like also all that shit like that's probably been done you say that about everything it doesn't matter everybody's told all the jokes it doesn't matter for everyone aside for the people that watch my clips specifically well make it your own because they like to really dig if you start if you start telling truths jim jeffrey said this 45 years ago in his first album if you start telling truths about yourself then nobody can really people might say it but they're wrong yeah i'm more of an observational guy i'm more let's talk about the world around me well i hope you evolve no i'm kidding i have plenty of jokes about myself i don't really have a lot of like that was really like that was like the first

joke idea i've had in a long time i had like i i have shit written down like that's nothing this is just this is just a dude in the penalty box with a headset on what it's like when you watch hockey games and someone gets a penalty for some reason, it's just another dude in the penalty box wearing a headset. And what's he doing? That's the joke. I don't know. I have no idea.

Oh, and what are we at right now? 25. This is hard. I feel like we're getting somewhere You do? I'm just going on Alright well that's what Roan says to do Is to just start talking

You gotta listen to our old Roan advice On how to do a podcast Let's channel Roan Oh this one's good Pedophile who tells people he's just a freak That's a zinger don't kink shame me yeah like you know like or not even that but like you know people are like oh it's like yeah i'm a kind of he's kind of a freak huh like someone telling like if that would be like if i was a pedophile and you were like yeah he's kind of freaky he's

kind of a freak but secretly you're like he fucks kids we always get back to fucking kids oh it's an easy topic i always wondered if there was something about like within the pedophile community are there those who are still homophobic like they judge other pedophiles for for fucking boys look i get that i'm a pedophile but at least i'm straight about it yeah I think that's a thing. I think there's jokes about that. Are there? Yeah, I think so. Okay.

I had one about pretty privilege with my dogs. You know how people talk about pretty privilege? Yeah, pretty privilege and how it's like people are nicer. This is it. This is how it's done. You start from nothing and you hope to find something. People are nicer to people who are pretty? Who are more attractive.

Oh. Just like in passing. Sure. Like if you had an attractive Uber driver and they were stopping and starting the car at a very aggressive motion, you wouldn't you wouldn't be like this fucking animal yeah well i don't say anything anyway i get that i get that a lot i have people who are just fucking speeding up when the car ahead of us has already stopped yeah brake lights you see them and they get close and then they slam on the brakes yeah and then before the car has moved they start

inching yeah inch stop yeah inch stop brutal inch stop it's my biggest pet peeve these tend to be people that hail from countries that are very warm yeah very warm yeah i'll just say that so i in those rides i think to myself i'm giving this guy four stars yeah i do i say that and then i end up getting out i give him five stars and a hundred percent of the time yeah i give them five so i go well he doesn't he didn't know but i'm in the back it's not for me to make this guy shooting out of my ears it's not for me to make this guy's job harder no yeah that's the thing i'm not gonna i'm not gonna get him fired i think that some people not only do they say fuck this guy they don't give him four stars they give him one star i think there's a lot of binary people about out there i think it's a lot less people than you'd think oh i think some people and i could

almost understand it they're saying the ride's either good or it's bad i had to do and if it's good i'm giving five and if it's bad i'm giving one oh and you had a guy didn't you have a guy that that was drunk and you would like get out like in the holland tunnel or some shit what did you give that guy one star five yeah your driver jesus oh my god yeah i think you were with tommy smokes i remember when that happened yeah that's a scenario where i would throw the one star because now you're like okay well i you're you're putting me in danger yeah right but the joke is that i have two dogs one of them is a bad dog who bites people he's

not allowed to meet new people anymore because he bites everyone that he meets that's new yeah that's bad why did you let him get that far yeah he's old now he's like 10 has he always been doing it though he started when he was young he'll not he's not he's not gonna change that's for sure why didn't you nip that in the bud we tried we tried multiple times and it didn't work nothing took you didn't give him like a little spankeroo no we gave we have a zapper he didn't no nothing worked he thinks he's defending the house and what kind of dog he's a mix and uh and then we have another dog who is a very good dog like wants to be pet friendly with all other people and other dogs that she meets that dog ugly as all hell

and then the bad dog is very cute and everyone loves the cute one pretty privilege it's a bad dog it's a good looking dog the other dog is the kind of dog that you go home and you maybe you pet it once well this to me is a great good to see you again it's yeah get her her breath is awful get her away from me it sounds like you're not taking care of the good dog very well no we take very good care of it do you ever give it brushies yeah really obviously it's breath yeah because maybe if you gave it the aesthetic care that it deserves yeah give it a little bit of a makeover well we get it we've given her haircuts and then it comes back and it looks worse really yeah because nobody knows how to do it properly yeah she tries her

best though it's a good dog great dog yeah right Just not really. Not one that you'd like see on the street and be like, oh, I got to pet that dog. Right. Yeah, I understand. Right. I got you. I'm picking up what you're putting down there. Yeah, so there's something.

Maybe something there. That's pretty good. A little wordy. Took us a while to get there. Mm-hmm. It's a good 10-minute chunk, though. 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Yeah, so now i'm i got i got i have material

obviously i have an hour of material i have over an hour right but it's like i don't i like i so i did the don't tell set and that was like my best 10 pretty much my best 10 minutes there's a couple jokes that could have been in there that i didn't put in there but those are the jokes that i was excited about and then i got the other 50 or 40 and those are all good too but they're done they've been doing them forever right and so now i'm like now i did spots this week and i did the 10 minutes just did it again yeah and i was like this is so pointless yeah um do you just making sure they still work they've already been recorded yeah hey here's a question okay how much do you worry about bad neighborhoods do you ever find yourself in a bad part of town bad neighborhood not so much in new york new york i don't really worry

about it because i kind of have this whole philosophy that it's like it's so busy like i'm like i'll walk down seventh street at any time of the day i don't give a shit about that no one's gonna kill me and when there's a traffic built up next to us but um that's what you think that's what i think but i think it's a good way to think um when i was in i went to do gardini's podcast when he lived in in queens yeah and i got off the took the train there and i got off the train and there was a there was a group of fellas that were that were a little intimidating they all had shysties on oh really so it was a pack of and i didn't i had my headphones in noise canceling and I, and I turned around, I didn't know anyone was behind me and I turned

around and they were close enough to just give me a little poke. Like they were like in my asshole and I turned around and there's 10 like teens with shy steez on yeah right behind me that scared the shit out of me yeah that was like i almost ran but instead i decided to do the whole like cross the street and then they crossed the street too oh boy and then i was like oh so i'm gonna get mugged for sure and then that was when i really was like really close to running really really close to running and then i decided to just turn around and walk and then i was like if they follow me this if i turn around and they keep following me then i'll run and they didn't they didn't follow me wow i ran once in chicago when i lived in chicago i ran really yeah and were you right to run i think so i sprinted i've never run except from like uh monsters in

the woods yeah i've ran in the woods for sure but this was like a full-on sprint wow i was walking in like chicago the thing about chicago is that the they say that the crime is making its way into the non-crime filled neighborhoods really yeah reverse gentrification yeah so i was walking in a neighborhood that was fine it's not a bad neighborhood and there was a dude that came up to me and he was like hey uh do you know where the train station's at and i was like oh yeah it's just right up there just take a right here and then he continued to walk and then he didn't take a right he did not take a right at the where i told him to take a right and then he started walking really slow like he was waiting for me to get back to get in front of

him so that he could take me from behind and then it got to a point where i so i slowed down and i was like this is weird and then i'm looking around i'm like oh there's no one around there's not a car driving there's no one around us right nobody and so he's slowing down and then it got to a point where we're just not moving like he's like 10 feet in front of me and we're just not moving so then i crossed the street and then i looked and he started crossing the street and then i took off yeah yeah gone Yeah. Gone in the wind. Wow. Flew.

And did you ever look back to see if he was running too? I looked back and he was still behind me and then I, then I just, I, I beat him. Wow. He couldn't catch me. Happy to hear it. Yeah. Well, it's good then that I made you get rid of those beat to shit sneakers. No, those were great running shoes.

No, no, they weren't. These are good running shoes. Those are good running shoes. I got these when i was preparing for a half marathon now i just use them as more casual wear right uh something with a good base i say this because i you know there's this narrative of the bad neighborhood and i've been in some bad neighborhoods i'm talking specifically about driving through a bad neighborhood. Driving? I don't give a shit about it.

Yeah, you're kind of just like, oh, you're in a bad neighborhood? Maybe do rolling stops at the stop signs. So they can't steal your wheels? Yeah, or like don't stop when someone's like, hey, can you roll down your window yeah you know yeah maybe that's naive that's the bronx is pretty me and owen went to the bronx to south bronx is bad to go to to go to chef donnie's apartment oh he used to live in the bronx he had a fucking mansion in the bronx i bet and they paid like 400 a month for it right and we went there and that was like a neighborhood that you're like, yeah,

you probably don't want to be walking around here at night. That was like, he had stories from that. He would go to the public pool and they would wake the pool. They would all chant, wake the pool. What does that mean? And then they'd all get in the pool and shake it around.

And then water would just be spilling out of the pool. and then water would just be spilling out of the pool so that's pretty funny do you know do you know where the really bad neighborhoods of new york are could you know i have no idea i know i i drove through i've driven through like some bad neighborhoods in like queens. And like, uh, I got drew for one recently that was like, it was in like Long Island city. My way of gauging it is, is seeing a large gathering of people and then just nothing around them.

Uh, you're like, Oh, that's their corner. Right? Like no, like there's no cars, there's no businesses. Like there's nothing around them.

And like, Oh, they've shut down that entire place of living like no one wants to live there i see so that's how i usually gauge it i see if it's not a busy area um east new york is bad like upper east side no no no out in brooklyn yeah. When you go way out. That's where Derek Drescher's from. Really? Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah, I get that.

Yeah. Got it. Have you ever been in a bad neighborhood, Francis? Yeah, I've been in bad neighborhoods. But as I said, I'm starting to think that people really like to, you know, they like to play up the badness more. Well, I don't, I have a hard time understanding what's a bad neighborhood. Because like, I've been in train stops where I'm at the train station and it's me and only crackheads. But I wouldn't say it's a bad. I'm like, I don't give a shit about those guys.

No. They're not going to fucking do anything. They're ever think about scream one inch away from my face do you ever think if you got if someone were trying to mug you would you pretend to give them your wallet and then at the last second grab their arm and get wrist control and wrestle it no is there any world where if someone pulled a gun on you you would think i'm gonna try to figure out a way to take the gun no and then my question is legally if i managed to do that and then i i took the gun and then i shot the person dead yeah i wouldn't do that am i in trouble no definitely not that's still self-defense even though he doesn't have a gun anymore and i do

yeah i think that's still self-defense i've taken the gun still attacking you and you have the gun it's self-defense well what if he's like oh i'm so sorry well if he's begging for mercy i i give up i give up now yeah i mean oh you should have said that you should have thought of that a while ago pop pop and now it just sounds like murder that's murder but i earned the murder no i don't think that's how it works i think it is how it works i think i think you might be right i think it is i think you can kill someone in that situation i could just say i don't think i would do that i took the gun in a struggle and then in the struggle, I went off and he died. Yeah.

I wouldn't. The problem is there are closed cameras everywhere now, especially in bad neighborhoods. If you have the guy in a situation where you've managed to disarm him, you have the gun and then he's like on his knees and you shoot him execution style. Well, what if I,

at first I say any last words? I think that around probably murder but i don't know because there's scenarios where like people's houses get broken into and then well outside of the place where it's like they have the standard ground laws like if you're in i don't do they have tell me what that means i think stand your ground laws are if someone breaks in your house, you can kill them. Yes. Right? I'll look it up.

I don't know if I'm right about that. Yeah, I think that's... There's a lot of those states. Texas is one of those. Texas, Florida. Florida's one. Oh, wow. 28 states allow. Wow.

There's no duty... Wait. Laws in 28 states and Puerto Rico allow that there's no duty to retreat an attacker in any puerto rico allow that there is no duty to retreat an attacker in any place in which one is lawfully present i don't know what that means in new york you can use physical force to defend premises dude i don't think you have to i think stay on your ground means you don't even have to be in your home that's what that sounds like if i was in someone comes at you and you're just standing on the sidewalk, it's not your job to back up.

If they come at you and you're just standing there, you can shoot them dead. I stood my ground. Bye. I'm fine. Isn't that what happened? That's what happened to DaBaby in Walmart. Did it happen to DaBaby? Yeah.

I don't know what went down in that Walmart. I don't know what happened on that freeway. He says that? He's back now. Yeah. But isn't he in trouble right now no oh no the baby shot someone in a walmart for sure but i think he got off on self-defense right which is crazy because i think i would be like let's take this outside of the walmart i agree i agree but yeah i don't know like that's the thing like people all these people have guns let's take this outside of the Walmart. I agree. I agree. But yeah, I don't know.

Like, that's the thing. Like people, all these people have guns, which I'm not like pro or anti gun, but having a gun in your apartment and then someone breaks into your apartment. How does that go? You just kill them.

Like that would be kind of fucked. Right. I would probably be like, Hey, I have a gun. Let's take this outside so i can kill you outside yeah i don't want to clean up i don't want to clean you up i don't want your ghost haunting my house yeah you can't exactly call a task rabbit yeah to come take care of the body because

you know like they're not cleaning it up like the authorities arrive they probably take the body i assume eventually but they're going to take a lot of pictures and fingerprints yeah they're gonna they're gonna they're not taking their shoes off when they come no and then also then also you have to clean the blood and shit oh yeah you're gonna need a maid for that i would it would come down to really the last second for me to shoot somebody like i'd have to be like you're gonna make i'm gonna have to shoot you i don't want to do this i don't don't make me do this don't make me shoot you please don't make me do this i'm taking the safety off of the gun do you know a good cleaning lady yeah yeah please refer me someone or let's take this out to the street let's take this outside but that's just a journey you're you're adding curveballs and variables into that

moment well the thing is if you have a gun and someone breaks into your house yeah and it's someone like if they flee flee i'm not going to chase you and she can kill you and if they don't flee it means they're probably and if they're like still coming at you when you have the gun they're probably on drugs right i don't still coming at you when you have the gun, they're probably on drugs. Right? I don't, that's a big assumption. You don't know. If you point a gun at someone, the normal sober mind is going to say, oh shit, time to do what this person says.

Or they're calling your bluff and they think you're a bitch. And in that scenario, I'm putting fucking five in the chest. Damn, dude. Dead. Oh, dude. Dead. Oh, and how are we doing on time? Good. Whoa! Fuck.

Damn it! Bruh, we're having a good conversation. You keep on bailing out. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted, too. I've been up since 5.30. I know, but I'm falling asleep.

Well, stay awake. I'm trying. This is the easiest job on Earth. I'm sitting up higher and higher. It's because I ate so many chocolate-covered almonds and I'm crashing. Oh my God. And then all the way up, I solved it.

No one crashes from chocolate-covered almonds. I did. I am. I had too many. You're allowed to be tired, but don't say you're crashing. A certain amount would have been fine. I am dying.

If you let me right now and i were to lie down here i would be asleep in 13 i guarantee you wouldn't i guarantee if we yeah dude if i if i were to eat almonds all chocolate covered almonds all day every day and gotten to bed at like 10 p.m i'd be like man i cannot sleep My system's really balanced. My blood sugar is an incredibly careful... It's a machine. Balance. Yeah. And if I go too high, go too low, it's a problem.

I get sleepy. Immediately sleepy. I don't get sleepy from any food. I have a show tonight. I have a fucking 10.35 at the cellar, which means 11, which means... So you're going to miss the end of game seven i'm gonna take off the cup you're gonna tape it sure what's wrong with taping it that's never worked ever

only for you because you're on twitter and shit all the time my dad used to tape the games all the time and we would find out every single time because you're getting text messages and stuff people don't text me anymore in new y York, you can hear just based on the vibe of the city around you. No, no, no. Oilers must have won. But do you live in a heavily Canadian neighborhood of New York? I think I live in a heavily anti-panther neighborhood.

I'm not even kidding. Really? Because... Who do you want to win? The Oilers, obviously. Oilers. Because when the Rangers were playing the Panthers, I picked up on this. Theangers were playing the panthers i picked up on this the rangers were playing the panthers and i the rangers scored and i heard like four different

apartments that is that you're gonna answer your own question here why is that not lend any credence to your theory that new york is an anti pan neighborhood. Because if you're a Rangers fan, you don't like the Panthers. So obviously you would want... But of course they're going to cheer when the Rangers score. It's New York. Yeah, so if you're a Rangers fan,

you don't like the Panthers. Unless you're a fake Rangers fan. But who's to say that they care more about the Rangers or the Panthers or the Oilers? Who's ever lost in the semi-finals of any sport and been like well i hope the team that beat us goes on to win it all that's just basic bro that's basically happened yeah if you're fucking lunatic it's definitely so you're a panthers fan no i'm an oilers guy exactly everyone wants the oil also who doesn't want to see the oilers

reverse sweep the panthers exactly that's what we want yeah yeah which we can't even be talking about this right now because it's already happened can't believe it i can't believe they pulled it off i have a wager placed well i can't even talk we can't talk about any of this it's useless useless speak yeah get out of here with that well what we really can talk about is that ball is sneaking up on us like a thief in the night the ball football football yeah it's like two months away come on it is we got a lot of summer dude july august september it starts in september what

we're like two months away from good times ahead pal yeah, pal. Good times ahead. Damn, dude. You see that Trevor Lawrence just signed the biggest quarterback deal ever? Is that right? Seems like... Really? No, he's big time, dude. He's so tough. He sucks. He's old school. He's tough. He is tough. He's tough as nails. He's really tough. He plays through injuries. Bad ones

too. He's tough as nails, but I don't know if he's like $275 million contract tough as nails. Sometimes he's tough as nails but i don't know if he's like 275 million dollar contract tough as nails sometimes these contracts work out especially when you got mac jones on the bench jalen brown's got the max contract for the celtics next year wins eastern conference finals mvp finals mvp celtics win the playoffs joe Burrow gets the biggest NFL contract ever. Plays three games the next season. Injured. Yeah. Bengals don't even make the playoffs.

Damn. Look, it can go both ways. I'm actually excited to watch the Bengals this year. I hope they're good. Me too, man. We need somebody to beat Patrick Mahomes, and I don't think the Bills are going to do it. No. No. I don't really even know what other teams are. I think

Travis Kelsey is going to suck this year. I think he probably won't play that much. He's old. He'll do a Gronk type thing. Yeah, I think he'll play probably like 50% of the games maybe. Limit his snaps. The Eagles in theory should be good, but with Sirianni

in that locker room, I mean. Right. Who can say? He's awful. He's the worst. I hate him. The worst. I hate Sirianni.

He's a thug. Where do you want to go outside of the United States? Is there anywhere you're dying to visit? Patagonia? I want to go to Patagonia really bad. I want to go to Rome. Interesting. Yeah, i want to go to patagonia really bad i want to go to i want to go to rome interesting yeah i want to go to greece i want to go to australia what do you want to do in greece just see it parthenon swim in the ocean yeah yeah i want to go to venice

i wouldn't i've heard it's overrated it's just pricey too so packed and gross yeah skip venice i don't want to go there um yeah i want to go to patagonia that's probably top i would like to go to mexico i want to go to the bahamas i'm gonna go to the bahamas next year it's a lot of places i'm going to the bahamas next year you can go to bahamas tomorrow yeah i didn't realize trip ever dude rome rome went to the bahamas like two weeks ago i don't even know if you know that i'm not i'm not kidding did you know that i think vaguely i knew yeah he went to the bahamas like two weeks ago and he texted me and i was like he was i was like where are you and he's like the bahamas yeah i was like really he's like dude it was a two-hour flight it's nothing yeah that's crazy

like it was faster two hours he said it was faster than florida what yeah because you just you just go on the ocean the whole time you don't ever go over land right so you must just cook down there wow damn but yeah i mean uh that's our next trip we're already i'm not i'm not a fan of that but the next we already had the plan for the next trip we're going to the bahamas bone fishing bone fishing that's so hard it's supposed to be the hardest it's so hard fly fishing when i went catfish of a thousand cast it's supposed to be the hardest it's so hard fly fishing when i went they called the fish of a thousand cast it's just one of those things where like you know you did that yeah really no no funny i got you though i don't know you've all you've done a bunch of weird shit i wouldn't surprise me if you did that finally got him you see that owen fastest fish in the fat or one of

the fastest fish in the world that's what they say but when we went they were they were like kind of lazy that day that would be awesome it's a good day yeah bonefish you fish little like shrimp flies yep that's what we were throwing i was watching a video of a dude fish doing it and then they saw a barracuda and he was like i'm gonna put on my my uh my metal leader like he has like a and he put that on he called the barracuda and it was so sick i've been snorkeling before and seen barracuda are they scary a little bit there was like a period of time where barracuda was like one of my biggest fears yeah and then you realize that they're like not that big no well they're also there are barracuda that are like that. And then there are the barracuda in the sort of rivers in like South America.

Yeah. That I am more, those are piranhas. Piranhas. I'm more afraid of piranhas than I am of barracuda. That's for sure. My neighbor growing up had a, like a, what is it called when you kill a fish and then they like stuff

it or some shit? Taxidermy? Yeah, he had a taxidermy. Is that the correct way to say it? Yep. And he had it like in his office or something and I remember I would see it and it had big ass teeth and I'd be like, that is so fucking scary. Yeah, they're scary. There was a movie, I believe, called Piranha. There is. i think it's kind of like a spinoff of jaws isn't it

i had titties in it because it isn't the but isn't the poster like the exact same thing as the jaws poster but it's a lady with titties oh really yeah well i'm pretty sure the titties are heavily advertised for that movie yeah that would have been one of those things. I remember I used to always see that movie on Redbox, like in the grocery store. Yeah. Yeah. Piranha. All right.

Let's see. Well, we're not done just yet. Why not? Got to take a look at the piranha. Yeah, I used to always see this in the grocery store and stop and stare. Show me the cover. Oh, yeah. Very similar to Jaws. Very Jaws-esque. Yeah, I used to always see this in the grocery store. Stop and stare. Show me the cover. Oh, yeah. Very similar to Jaws.

Very Jaws-esque. Yeah, yeah. Except instead of one shark, she has like 15 piranhas under her. Well, they're quite small. They're very small. Yeah. Again, another one of those things that you really just don't need to be scared of. No.

Unless you're floating out in the center of the ocean. It's a comedy. It's got a 5 out of 10 on IMDb. Not great. Have you ever seen the alternate cover? It's ass. Ass instead of titties.

They really got their money's worth with this model. They knew how to cover their faces. All right. Let's do a secondary angle. We're going to want to get an ass shot in here.

All right. That has been Son of a Boy. Hey, guys, I'm going to be in Austin, Texas in a couple weeks. The Vulcan. Vulcan Gas Company.

Good spot. Vulcan Gas Company. Top spot. Right close by the mothership probably gonna have to stop by see the fellas um little sasquatch website.com for those tickets thank you goodbye ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ I looked older Till you Came around I was only

Falling one way I was only Falling one way Days Were drifting Full Full as I Days were drifting Before, before was I So, so then you listened Now I've come alive

I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Vanished to your eyes Did you realize No one can take me alive I was only falling one way See you just a distant light

Being fast, no time for fight Calling just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm Bye. And I'm gone And I'm gone And I'm gone Managed to your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive