Son of a Boy Dad - WWII & LAX | Son of a Boy Dad #221

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

WWII & LAX | Son of a Boy Dad #221 -- Ad: Go to https://Butcherbox.com/BOYDAD and use code BOYDAD at checkout for $20 off! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. But you can make then you can make Billy's podcast. No, so you don't want to do Billy's podcast. No, you don't know episode has started by the way. I did an entire episode of Billy's podcast and we had to throw the whole thing out. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is July 31st. It is 12 20 p.m. We were supposed to start recording at 12.

Sass is a cop. I don't know what happened. I love the rules so much. Why doesn't everybody follow the rules like me? Where it's me, Owen, and Tyler sitting here going, you guys seen Ron? You see Francis? You can't put that on me. My scoreboard is still heavily in my favor as far as punctuality.

You see Francis? I don't think I've seen Francis today. I had to finish a blog. And I text before. And I say, we're still good for 12 and then everyone goes. Yep My shoulder video is popping off again Shoulder. Oh, yeah shoulder of the road. Yep. It's going viral everywhere. I see and there's some people who are like And that people like there's a pro

Like I don't even know what they're pro-labor accounts or some shit that are like against it. They're like, it's not called the breakdown lane, it's called the emergency lane. It's for emergencies. Dude, every aspect of that video is built to anger people. Somehow. And the people who get angry are stupid. You found a new thing that's divisive.

So the, I mean, if you're one of the couple people that don't know what the video is, explain what it is. Two years ago, I was driving home in traffic on the highway and there's a shoulder lane, a breakdown lane, as I used to call it in Maine. That's what we called it in Maine. It's called the breakdown lane as I used to call it in Maine. That's what we called it in Maine. It's called the breakdown lane. Yeah.

And it's marked heavily with signs that say, do not drive on the shoulder. Yeah. To which people would say, well, you drove on the shoulder, Francis, to which I would say, I did not drive, I blocked. Right, at the pace of traffic. At the pace of traffic. At the pace of traffic.

In Massachusetts, there's hours where you're allowed to drive on it. That can't be the same thing. Open hours? That sounds like an extra lane. It is, yeah. This is not an extra lane. But it's the breakdown lane.

But during the morning rush hour, you can drive on it. Got it. Dude, a couple weeks ago, I tried to pull your move, and I pulled into that lane as someone was coming behind me I was like I'm gonna block them and they started beeping at me and I like lost my nerve so I just started driving fast in the lane ahead of them. I haven't done that but I've done I've tried to do it and then they beep and I just instantly go back into the lane. Sorry. Yeah, let's get around

It's too scary. You guys are busy. You you have to really believe in what you're doing. I don't do it anymore I have had bad moments. Yeah trying it. How many times total have you probably done it like 12 times and There have been times where it's just like mmm This is getting really risky. Yeah, I'm seeing that video everywhere. Multiple people are sharing it with their own spin on it. Their spin's going viral.

Yep. Does it get you numbies when you do it? Does it get you any kind of bump in followers? I don't know. People don't post it from my account. They rip it and they post it on other things. So it doesn't lead back to my account. But it has your tag on it now.

Yeah, well, that's because I reposted it in March from my own account. And it blew up then. And then it quieted down. And then it's now on the front page of Reddit again. Yeah, I saw that on Reddit today. And I said, Jesus fucking Christ, this shit again. It's like your draft video.

I know. Meme. Let's get Sass in a good mood right now. He's in such an ordinary mood. No, I'm not. Yeah, he is. No. But you know what?

Your outfit is wonderfully color coordinated. I know, right? The hat and the sweater and the shorts and the shoes and the socks. I've never seen you so coordinated. I've never seen that shade of yellow on a sample. You're like an African-American man. Thank you. It's so cool of you. You are black. Did you ever hear Sam Aril's joke about that? I'm ripping his joke a little bit. No.

It's really funny. I can't remember exactly what it is. Never mind. I can't remember the joke so I can't paraphrase it. Yeah, it's tough. I've tried to do that many times. But it's very good. You guys ever hear this joke and then you just don't remember the joke at all.

Yeah. And then you say it and then you're like, he does it better than I do. Yeah. You got to learn. I'll find it for you. Never mind it. I said it to you. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Should we do housekeeping? Some housekeeping? You got a little I'll find it for you

Fuck yeah, should we do housekeeping some housekeeping? Oh, yeah Right so People have obviously picked this up, but I am going through divorce I have not been trying to particularly hide that fact, but I didn't feel that I was ready to address it. And I guess that's because it's been very sad. There's no humor in it for me. We are a podcast that tries to be funny. I'm a comedian. That is my goal.

And I've had a really hard time with it. And I've just tried to sort of put my head down and keep doing my work, which has, you know, been tough. And, uh, Jesus, dude, this is sadder than I thought. I don't know. Yeah. I don't really have like, I don't really have a whole lot to say about it other than you know It's just a real fucking no, this is a tough time as your friend. We're we're okay now We've we've rounded third on the process There was a long period of it being just like utterly devastating and I can tell you that there's no scandal here, there's no scandal here. There's no red meat that I can offer to the wolves. This is a rather boring and typical sad

divorce. The internet will be the judge of that. Yeah, between two people. You also don't owe people that much of an explanation. Yeah, that's kind of what I felt. But if you don't clarify, then people make their own assumptions and they start inventing reasons. Frankly, I didn't think people would care that much, naively, like I didn't think that my personal life mattered

as an entertainer, but that was pretty naive. I know that in Oops! the podcast for years, Julio and I were incredibly transparent about our relationships and that was a big part of it. So I think the fan base from our old pod has kind of been trying to figure this all out. And there's nothing to figure out, you know? These things happen.

We had different expectations and we drifted apart and it was really sad for both of us. And I still have the utmost admiration and respect and love for my ex-wife. I think I would ask that, you know, I would ask that people try to accept that this is a kind of private matter in which there is not much but sadness

and it was pretty tough and I'd like to kind of keep my head down about it and move forward. So I think that'll be the last time that I talk about it if that's okay with everyone. Alrighty, let's talk about ButcherBox. This summer, get incredible deals on premium cuts from Butcher Box. Deals this good are hard to come by at the grocery store. With Butcher Box easily find high quality meat and seafood. You can trust. Get a hundred percent

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in front of him. This isn't, I mean this isn't what we do. This isn't what we do on the podcast. That's not what you're not to say. This isn't ripping. He's like, dude, that's not yours to tell. I've never. This is my show.

I've never had. Well, we're going to cut that. I've never had less worry that Sass was going gonna riff into what I was saying in my life. The one funny aspect of it was we were out in Chicago for the taping of your special. And what else was going on that week? Oh, and I need to mention really quickly that the special that was taped on June 1st, which was really in the thick of all of this.

And with my wife's blessing and encouragement, I carried forward with the material that I had been building for a year, and much of that, it was about our marriage. And so the jokes were true at the time. When the special comes out, obviously everyone's gonna know there's a bit of a disconnect between what they're seeing at that point and the way my life is now.

But it is not meant to be deceiving or deceitful. It is, you know, with the consent and sort of sign off from her. But yeah, that weekend was when we, the three of us went out to dinner at a place called Duck Duck Goat, a lovely Chinese restaurant. Modern Chinese, belly up at the bar. There were some really nice thick noodles. Chili noodles. Chili noodles. Some really nice. I'm some really nice noodles, thick noodles. Chili noodles. Chili noodles. I'm surprised you remember anything that we ate.

Paul, I was more focused on Citizen M. Yeah, we sat down and Francis broke the news to me that he was sitting in the middle. That he was staying at the Four Seasons and that I was staying at Citizen M. He was like, he was basically going through this and my jaw was on the floor because, you know. But that was, I had already known. I was old news. Yes, but that doesn't just give you license to like sit out and be on your phone trying to contact Barstool planning people to see why your hotel room's square footage is so

inferior to those of ours. to see why your hotel room's square footage is so inferior. He was literally telling me the details, very slowly and almost painstakingly going through everything that happened. And then Sass wasn't saying a word, just buried in his phone. And every two minutes he'd look up and be like, why did they put me in this hotel? Well, in my defense-

The rooms are so fucking small. In my defense, it was also also a ball we sat at a bar So it's like you said at the counter of the restaurant boxed out No, it's three of us at a bar sitting at a table I probably wouldn't have done that you definitely would have done that and you guys were drinking and I was it's 80 square feet My feet will touch the wall coke And I don't think we got the noodles that I wanted. We definitely got, we got everything on the menu. We fucking ran up the menu. We got everything possible,

but it was a very, uh, big bear, middle bear, little bear. Like I was staying at just like a regular Radisson or some shit. Francis booked himself a room at the Four Seasons. Yeah. And then supposedly, and then, and Sass got put in like a Japanese compartment motel. Well it was it was because we were I thought we were all gonna like hang out all week. I was like excited to all like we thought we were all gonna be like like hang out in the lobby of the hotel like two in the morning smoking cigars having a blast and then I found out that I was staying like 45 minutes away from you guys in a fucking box. But that wasn't the time to bring that up. That you needed an iPad to fucking control. There's no way that that was the moment

that you should have been grabbed. You're like... To go from to go from Rone being like I can't believe this like this is so sad and then to turn to Sass and have him be like I mean my shower and toilet are on the same floor. My toilet is going to be wet while I'm taking a shit. You told me like over a month before that. Yeah, exactly. And then what, when you told me we had a good conversation, but hold on a second.

When I told you your response then was like, wow, that sucks. And then we moved on. Your response then was like wow that sucks That was about the emotional capacity that you had that were that not true I was like no way and then you were like yeah And I was like dude that's and then I asked if you wanted to go play pool the next day And I don't think you even replied to me you did not In text absolutely wait I didn't text you this news. I told you in person. Yeah, and then I texted you that night and I was like, what are you doing tomorrow?

Let's hang out. Let's get the fellas together. Wow. Silent. I was saying to Francis, I was like- Which is exactly what happened in Chicago, by the way. No way. I'm going to corroborate this.

I was saying to Francis, dude, I can't believe this has happened to you. And Sass, thought I was talking about him, was about him was like I know dude the rooms are so small. I Know do the rooms are fucking eight feet fucking brutal and so we pivoted the whole conversation Francis graciously seeded the heaviest news of his life to Just pivoting to talk about the fluorescent light rooms of the Citizen M in Chicago. Let me find it. I can't find it.

I got to dig through messages of me complaining to Francis about comedy clubs. Oh wait, is this, no that would have been way too early. That was November. Let's just admit that your bedside manner is not great. It's okay. Look, obviously, Ron more invested in my marriage as the four of us were all friends. But that's just, no, that's giving him an out.

That's him being like, oh, I didn't really know. It's like, as a friend, I didn't really know. So as a friend, you should be empathetic towards your friend when something bad is happening. Yeah, yeah. And that's why we cared a lot about his hotel room. Correct, I had to sort of pause my somber story. You offered to let him stay at the Four Seasons with you.

I did, I said I had been upgraded for free to a suite, which actually had a separate bedroom with a pullout couch. He did I said I had a I had been upgraded for free to a suite which actually had a separate bed Bedroom with a pullout couch Which by the way you should have done the bathroom is the thing that I don't like shit I don't want to share a bathroom what might have had two What would what goes on in the bathroom that you can't possibly share with another man Dude, I'm Ian Francis messages are ridiculous. It's literally all just like did you see Schultz is doing the round at this arena?

Insane that's you saying that it's you sending me seat maps of arenas that have sold out So quickly that you're astounded This is crazy. And me being like, wow, I can't believe Shane Gillis has truly achieved the heights that we all saw happening in real time. Good for him. I'm glad we have his cell phone number. Oh my God. Yeah, that's truly, truly rich stuff.

Well, glad to hear you're out on the other side of it. Yeah, we're moving forward, you know? I can tell you all definitively that she is going to probably be a lot happier not having to deal with me anymore. So everybody is, I think, going to be better off. And as I said, sad, but also, also you know just life fucking Sergei better off over here bro just a little hockey joke for you sass you have any news anything you want to unburden yourself of now trying to think started listening

to the rise and fall of the Third Reich last night. Who wrote that? I don't know it's too long. That's a huge book. 57 hours long. I bought that book and it sits on my bookshelf this wide and the spine of the book is just a fucking swastika. Dude. So people come over and they're like what the fuck are you reading? I pivoted to the Cold War. I can't, 57 hours, I mean that's gonna take me, I was like, I'm just gonna listen to this at night. Did it used to be called The Rise and Fall of Adolf Hitler or is that a different book? There's a bunch of, there's so many. Because there's a- There's probably one called that.

There's a Netflix series that's like very specific about that. And one of the guy who wrote the rise and fall of Adolf Hitler is one of the voices that speaks but it's a combination of found footage and also acted out footage but there's there's something that I noticed in that Netflix series that fucking bothers me a little bit and it's like they make Hitler a little bit uglier than he actually was like it I don't think Hitler was cute but, I don't think Hitler was cute, but like I've noticed this in a bunch of Hitler movies where they'll

make his like hairline worse, his nose bigger, his skin worse, and I think it's cuz Hollywood thinks that if Hitler's too good-looking that he'll be like a sympathetic character. Oh interesting. That will be in the movie theater being like who's that guy? Yeah, it's also what a taste of his own medicine because I don't know if you've ever seen the way that he depicted Jews. Right. But I have met many Jews and most of them do not look anything like the posters that I have seen from Germany in that time. Like I think Americans are smart enough to realize that Hitler's ideas in and of themselves were bad.

We don't need them coming from an ugly dude. It could be Brad Pitt from Troy, and we could still be like, Hitler's, Hitler's Hitler. Who is the most handsome bad guy in history? Good question. Is there a guy who we would definitively say- King Leopold of Belgium, Ben Lallen was like six, seven. Who was? Ben Lallen.

Ben Lallen used to be a runway, beautiful hair, thick beard like an alpha. He did have some nice eyes, right? They're kind of like steely. Yeah. That's why he had so many bitches. What, did he have nine wives or something like that? I think he had like 11 wives. 11 wives. And he knew how to make his eyes pop too because he would always wear creams.

Yeah, he had like gaunt cheeks. Sand. He was thin. He was tan as hell. Super tan. He was built like KD. Except in the last years he probably wasn't that tan because he didn't really go out much. He didn't really go out much. Maybe he had like a tan.

He probably had like a- He had an outside area at the compound. Oh, did he now? Yeah, He didn't really go out much. Maybe he had a tanning bed. He probably had like a... He had an outside area at the compound. Oh, did he now? Yeah, like a big one. Really? Do you think he went out there? Yes, absolutely.

Just a tan. I think they said that he went out there. Who said? They said that they would see a really tall dude walking out. Just in a tanning bed, in a turban, in a Speedo sunning himself. Just those beautiful blue eyes peeking over the wall. Yeah. No, I think he had like a, I think

there might have been like a rooftop, and there was definitely an outside area. I want to say he had some sort of like rooftop with like a pool. It was an infinity pool. Oh, is that where we left the Blackhawk? I think so, yeah. We scuppered the Blackhawk?

You believe that? Yeah, it's crazy. We were like, ah, we can't bring this $50 million helicopter home. Yeah. All right, somebody knock the rotors off and bring the manual so they can't rebuild it. It kind of is a- Grab the manual from the glove box.

It's kind of interesting that they, it kind of shows how strong those helicopters are, that they had, I don't know how many dudes were on the helicopters, but they just piled everyone onto the second helicopter. Is that what they did, I don't know how many dudes were on the helicopters, but they just piled everyone onto the second helicopter. Is that what they did? I think. We didn't drive anyone out? We might have. No, I don't think so. I don't think we did. It was like chaos. Yeah. Were there other baddies in the neighborhood? All the neighbors were like surrounding the place. Right. Yeah, but we had SEAL Team Six in there. We had bad dudes in there. Yeah. It was like a lot of people. Yeah baseball bats and shit. Yeah, but those are like guys that you know Why they had just broken down the farmers market?

They're not fucking taking on seal team six. How many farmers markets would you need in order to actually think? Okay, we've got the guys we can take on seal team six. We have enough farmers Is it is it farmers or people that work at the farmers markets? That's what people who work at the farmers market Okay, we've got the guys we can take on SEAL Team 6. We have enough farmers. Is it farmers or people that work at the farmers market? People who work at the farmers market. So, there's guys in there that are selling soap and candles, weird rope goods. Art. Lots of alpaca throws, I would guess.

Yeah, alpaca socks. Yeah. I mean, they're probably strong. Do people in Pakistan have guns? Like, do they have guns? Like, the United States has guns? I think they have guns there. You can go and just buy a AK. Yeah, Pakistan has a lot of guns from AKs from the fall of the Soviet Union and their

occupation of Afghanistan. I'm sure they were buying them in bulk for cents on the dollar. What other, I'm trying to think of other hot, hot bad guys. Because I think that- Stalin was pretty decent looking. Yes, yes. Stalin was pretty decent looking. Young Stalin? Yeah.

Yeah. And he had that, he had that beautiful mustache and very strong, and he was always wearing like a military outfit, I think. Girls love a man in uniform. It's not like a James Bond type of deal where you have to be like scarred in the face or bleeding blood or something like that. Like there's hot dude, like, I mean,

I guess there's a different villain in everybody's story, but Che Guevara was pretty good looking. He fucked a lot. Putin's not a bad looking guy. No, Putin is a thump. Really? You'd fuck Putin? No, I wouldn't fuck Stalin either. You'd bend over Putin and fucking clap his cheeks? No, but Putin's like jacked. No, bro. He's a put together man. Even at his young hottest, I don't even

think he's hot for a Russian. I think he is. King Leopold of Belgium, he had a beautiful beard. Did he? I'm pretty sure that he was a hot dude. I'm trying to think if there is a maligned sort of despot from history who we would not have to say was overcoming some insecurity in his grasp for power. So for example, Napoleon, everyone, Napoleonic complex. He was really short, which by the way, I actually found out is not that true. I don't think he was that short. Wasn't he like five, seven? I don't even know if it was that small, but I think it was like political cartoons that

made people- I don't think five, seven is that small. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think he might even been taller than that. Oh really? But uh, I think it was political cartoons that tried to make him seem small. Well weren't dudes back then also big as hell? I think dudes are getting bigger. I don't think that we've crested past the biggest dude era. I think that might have been the biggest dude era. The 1800s in France? Jacked and tall. No, I think that we're in the biggest dude era right now He's pretty short five six or five seven, which was slightly taller than the average for the times for people generally Right guy listened. I heard that in my book

My book this morning they were talking about Napoleon. When was he around? 1800s was it the 1800s? Yeah. Yeah boy. It's isn't it amazing to think that that's taller than the average? And then that's evolution moves slowly, but it also kind of moves a little quickly. So what, in like 200 years, people are going to be like, I don't date anyone under seven feet? Yeah. Yeah. Guy says he's 6'11 on his Tinder profile. Yeah, right. Fucking 6'9 loser. Oh my God. That's pretty good. Look at Victor Wemunyama. Yeah. I mean, dudes are just getting taller and more skilled. Do you guys know about the evolutionary theories about why people have genetic racial traits. For example, the reason why Asian people are short, that's not where I was going to go in.

I think what I've read, the word is hooded eyelids. So smaller apertures. First I'm hearing of this. Right. We're in dangerous territory. Let's call it a Wikipedia page that I'm citing. The theory is that it was because as humans or early humans migrated north, the weather temperatures, the climate that they encountered was what started to form physical facial features. Yeah. And it had to do something with like, yeah, the brighter the sun or the ice of the Arctic

ice, the more dangerous the climate was. was what started to form physical facial features. And it had to do something with like, yeah, the brighter the sun or the ice of the Arctic, I don't even fucking remember, sand, you know? Stuff like that. So if you got a couple Asian guys in like some overcast weather, it would just change history.

Well, you'd be like, that dude's not Asian. They'd be like round-eyed deers. They'd just be doughy-eyed, fucking. But now, I mean, look at that dude's not Asian. Look at how big his eyes are. They'd be like round-eyed deers. They'd just be doughy-eyed fucking. But now, I mean, look at how it's manifesting. All the medalists in the shooting in the Olympics were Asian countries. Oh, yeah. Imagine if you gave them guns, dude.

Why is that? That's probably why guns are banned over there. They'd be too good with them. Yeah, I didn't understand. That's weird, because they can't have guns. Right, the school shooters at it. They've been practicing with 3D printed guns. Yeah.

How do they even practice? I don't know. BB guns, maybe? Why did they all win that? Is that because their technology is better? They're more precise? I think it's got to be what you're talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about.

It's something with the eyes. It's like in medieval castles when there's a very small window that an archer would shoot through. Yes, that's right. The more narrow the window, the better your sight is. I think that's got to be what we're talking about. I don't think that's true. What do you mean?

I don't think Asian people see smaller than we see. What are you trying to say? I'm saying aim small, miss small. That's what I'm talking about. What are you trying to say there, Sas? What do you mean what am I trying to say? What's this all about Asian people seeing small? You brought this up.

You said that Asian people squint their eyes because they're getting sand in their costumes. No, I didn't say squint. It's the most racist thing I've ever heard. coming up with like new conspiracies. We're going to cut that. We're going to cut that. No, no, no. That's too good.

Yeah. You know, Asian people, they squint real hard because they're always getting dust in their eyes. Genghis Khan. There is an evolutionary- Surprised they don't wear masks over their eyes, too. Wow. Wow.

Well, there was also, there's also stuff about why skin tones are different. That has to do with like pigment and needing more sunlight for vitamin retention, all that bullshit. I'm not going to look it up. This feels like territory. We don't want to get into skulls. Let's talk skulls. Yeah, you did the extra bone in the body actually provides the white man.

Do you know that scene that when he smashes his hand on the wine glass and his hand, do you know Leonardo DiCaprio in Django? Is that what you're talking about? No, I was just making a... That's what you're talking about, right? Yes. Well, yeah, the phrenology is the... But that's what he's referring to.

Yeah. Leo brings out in that scene in Django, he brings out the skull of a former slave, I guess, and breaks it open to show some really racist shit. And shortly thereafter, he's now discovered that Jamie Foxx and Christoph Waltz are not who they say they are. And he smashes his hand on the table in anger, and he smashes a coupe glass,

and his hand goes through it, and his hand is bleeding, and he continues on in the scene. Gets all of his lines right, starts picking the glass out of his hand. Oh, that actually happened? That actually happened. Oh damn. And they kept it. That's so badass. How fucking badass is that?

They probably had to keep it. They were like, well, we can't just have your hand be bleeding out of nowhere. Or like the next scene he's just bandaged up and then they cut back and he's not bandaged. Yeah. Damn. You know that the coupe glass was designed To represent Marie Antoinette's breast what the shape of a coupe champagne glass is designed to be Analogous to Marie Antoinette's breast We're talking French history on this Marie Antoinette was the let them eat cake lady

I believe she was and that's the same exact time as Napoleon. Ah The let them eat cake lady. I believe she was and that's the same exact time as Napoleon. Ah Cuz isn't that the beginning did you guys watch the Napoleon movie? I watched the beginning of it was bad I couldn't I couldn't finish. Yeah Did you watch it Francis? No. Yeah, I heard it was bad. I heard Civil War wasn't great either I didn't buy Civil War. That was good. I thought there was an interesting mood to it It was much more serious than I thought I thought it was gonna interesting mood to it. It was much more serious than I thought. I thought it was going to be like White House Down.

I saw Maschino Dorito talking about Civil War. I was like, I can't fucking watch it. You know who, you guys know who Maschino Dorito is? No. Damn, bro, get up on your fucking TikTok. White House Down is one of the funniest movies of all time. It's great. Or is it White House Down or is Olympus Has Fallen?

Olympus Has Fallen. Well, they're two different... One's good and one's bad. The Jamie Foxx one is bad. Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx. I think they're both bad. Olympus Has Fallen is the one with the Scottish guy, actor. Yeah.

But I think I remember watching that. I remember watching it when I was younger and being like, this movie's fucking awesome. Yes. watching that like I remember watching I thought that one was pretty good and being like this movie's fucking awesome yes I rewatched it with my friends when I was like 18 and we were like this is the worst movie I've ever like the CGI and it yeah it's bad it's like iMovie effects yeah but they they had North Korea yeah at least they made the effort to have it be, whereas the one with Jamie Foxx, it's just like angry American dudes that take over the White House.

Dude, no chance. Did you watch, neither of you watch Civil War? I did. You liked it? I liked it. I did too. I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was fun.

I thought that Kirsten Dunst's husband in real life, the guy who plays Landry from Friday Night Lights, Jesse Plemons was incredible. His acting is so subtle and so nuanced in everything he's in. And he's that psychopath just in the middle where they like stop and he, you know, starts just. That's her husband in real life? Yeah. No way. You know what I think looks good is that trap movie we were talking about yesterday.

That could be good. I think that looks good. It comes out tomorrow. I don't know about it. Break it down. It's like a serial killer who's like locked inside of like a concert. What a career pivot for, what's that guy's name Josh? From no Brolin no heart in it. Thank you that guy. So he was in

He was in Pearl Harbor, right and he became this heartthrob. He was a teenage heartthrob They had him of his wispy bangs and he was wearing a wife beater and a flowing white shirt and he had engine oil all over his nose. He kind of squinty Asian eyes. Yeah. Probably lots of sun being in those planes. Just kind of had to, yeah, lower it a little. And he went from that and then he was in, the next time I kind of saw him was Oppenheimer.

The next thing I really remember him being in, Oppenheimer. Right. And now he's- As like a lint... Intellectual. Intellectual. He plays one of the scientists. He's the guy that's sort of like the... Head of the project. He's like, he lets him into the project because he... But he's like, we can't let you in unless you give up this fucking communist bullshit that... Stop going to the meetings. Yeah.

I thought you watched him multiple times. I do, but I just don't know who we're talking about. Got it. Got it. Got it. You never saw Pearl Harbor. I didn't Not a patriot No, I am a patriot. That's why I didn't watch it No, it's a triumphant story. I don't watch I don't watch footage of our soldiers being killed, bro Mmm, bro. It's part of the story, bro. That's more your style. No, it really fires me up It's like hey look what they tried to take from us They did take it from us

They tried to take our freedom. They could have just left it alone There's like another there's an alternate universe where America just stays out of World War two Yeah, that's what was that's what they were trying to do how many Americans died in World War two like 300,000 something like that. I Think it was surprisingly low Yeah, three only 300,000 people died more like 60 million people died in World War two 300,000 in the grand scheme of things isn't that many Wow, bro 400,000 400,000 400 plus it's not that's not many people

Well, it's a lot of people but in compared to other countries it's not 60 million people died. Are you including you know? Like everybody that died in the Holocaust wait, so it's only six million Jews that died in the Holocaust Wow, that's not even like that many people compared to 60 million Well, that is a lot of people compared to how many Jews there are in the world. Yeah, but compared to the entire amount of people that died, that's like only like 10% of the people that died in the war. No, it was like, wow, that's like nothing bro. One fourth of Jews died. How many people follow Barstool on TikTok? It's like 25 million, right? If I died, would you say, well, compared to how many people

work at Barstool, it's not that many that he died? Would you just write it off as like a small... Barely any of New York died today. No, I would be like, that's a good chunk. Oh, I would matter more than the Jews. Yeah, you'd be a great statistic. More than the American soldiers who lost their lives in World War II.

No, it's more of like a compliment how little Americans died. We were unkillable. Yeah. More than the American soldiers who lost their lives in World War II. No, it's more of like a compliment how little Americans died. We were unkillable. Yeah. I don't, tell that to the wives of soldiers who landed at the farm. The mothers.

They're probably all dead too. Tell it to the mothers. There's a few left. We're getting to the end now. Yeah. Soon we'll have the last ones. I'm sure there's a few left because they were all probably dating like 12 year olds.

Bro. Are you saying the greatest generation was pedophiles? No, bro. The widows are all like 29 right now. Certified pedophiles. That would be good. I mean, that would be good propaganda. They're in their late 40s. Mathematically. Impossible. That would have been great propaganda for the Nazis and the Russians though. And the Japanese. If they were just like, yeah, the Americans are all the petaphiles. We have to kill them. Because that would justify it. It's like, yeah, they were telling us that they were all petaphiles. They were telling us they had 12 year old wives. I mean, that was kind of like a universal thing now.

What was their propaganda about the United States at the time? What were they saying about us? Cause we were saying all manner of nasty stuff about them. Japanese. Were like they're savages. They were like kicking Japanese people out of the country. Putting them in like.

In terming camps. Well yeah, the Japanese had propaganda. I'm trying to think about what the Germans said. My guess would be that it was all about how unfairly they were treated at the Treaty of... Versailles. Versailles. And the way that World War I ended and... It did fuck up their economy badly.

Make Germany great again. Yeah. Yeah, it fucked up their economy. The United States economy was booming though. Oh yeah. When? After World War I. You're right. 1918. I know I'm right, bro.

Chas is so fucking dialed today. This is fresh info. He started reading the rise and fall of the Third Reich. Right. Yeah, like they probably just had posters of us like sucking off Jewish people. That probably, just like a blonde corn-fed dude from Iowa sucking off a Jewish dude. Do you think we'll get to a point where people will start fleeing America,

going to other countries and being like, I escaped democracy America? That would be funny if they did. But I remember there was a contest where it was like write six words. Describe America in six words. And one of the winning entries was like, even our worst critics stay or something like that. Or something basically like people who are like whenever you hear like, if you don't like it, you can get get out it's like people criticize America but they still choose to stay so I think that I thought it was like six like just like six cool things about America Budweiser AK-47 John Deere Shane Gillis Hogan Sydney Sweeney City's, fuck, that's three words.

Still keep it, keep it. How many do I have left? The American Haiku. We should leave that as a comment. Six words to describe America. Best six words. Yeah. We will give you nothing. Not connected, not a sentence.

Yeah, just six. Things that you consider to fall under the umbrella of America I'm joining a men's softball league really yeah, I'm so happy to hear that What yeah with who with some comics oh? You're a pretty nice swing. I do but I don't know like they Asked me to do this. Who is that? Derek?

It's Derek, yeah. Yeah, we could use you on our team, honestly. We got a lot of scrawny dudes on it. I've never really been a big softball guy. You could just be a designated hitter. And you also would pick it up in two seconds. Well, it's not so much my skill that I'm worried about. Right.

It's just general commitment to an evening of softball. Did you guys know how expensive baseball gloves are? What are they, like $100? Well, you can get one for $100, but they're like... That's a shitty one. If you go on, like, Wilson, like, their website, it's like they're like $500. Well, that's what you want, though. I'm not spending $500 on a baseball glove.

Don't you know the rule? The more you spend on something, the better it is. Yeah. So that means that if I saw one for $400 and I saw one for $500, I wouldn't be able to live with myself buying the $400 one because I would always know that there was one that was better. Yeah. I can't really swing dropping $500 on a baseball glove right now though. Look how fat your wallet is right there, bro. Especially because I don't even know if I'm going to,

like I'm playing on the game in August and then like as soon as NFL starts and there's European games that start at like noon or like 9 a.m. Now I'm happy to hear about this. I'm fucking, I'm calling in sick. Because now we know what we're going to talk about for the next six months on this podcast.

That's a great point, bro. We'll have Sass's next hobby. Dude, did you realize that if you play short left field, you have a better angle throwing to home base? See, that's my worry is they were like, when I was growing up and I played baseball, if you were bad, you just played outfield because no one could hit it to the outfield except like maybe like one kid per team. Now if you're bad, you like play first base.

Yeah. And now they're like, everyone's saying outfield.field and I'm like that's kind of my position and then I but then I'm thinking I'm like I don't even know if I can throw a softball from like deep outfield to like second base so I play short field you're the cutoff man they told me I'm gonna play a short stop what yeah the hot corner yeah I guess well I'm surprised I'm surprised they're putting you there. I wanted to play first. Can you catch good? Yeah. Me and Francis had a great catch in the Chicago office with lacrosse sticks.

Oh yeah, we did do. That's way different. Yeah, but it's just like hand-eye coordination. I can catch balls. I can catch stuff. Right? I was good at, I had a good guy who was good at catching. You know what? I'm not going to take that from you. Yeah. And I was good at throwing.

Yeah. I'd say I'm probably the second best lacrosse player in the office. I think it's like going to the Olympics. Yeah. And so is Billy, Billy and Dugs also both play lacrosse. Steve Romano played professionally. Yeah, you're second best. I don't think I'm the best.

I played Division one lacrosse. Division one lacrosse. I played Division one lacrosse. I played Division one lacrosse. I played Division one lacrosse. I played Division one're second best. I don't think I'm the best. I played Division 1 lacrosse. Division 1. At one of the better. High school all-american. I forgot that. You said you're second best.

I'm not the best. I forgot how many people played lacrosse here. It's Barstool Sports. Yeah. Most of every...Mubi. Mubi might be better than you. Yeah. Movie and smelly might fucking dust you. Smelly. I think it's stinky.

Not smelly. Yes. Stinky might get your ass. Massive difference there. The fuck? Oh, that's me. Is the money going? Holy fuck.

We gotta get a lacrosse team going. I know, little beer league lacrosse. That's the one sport. I don't understand anybody who wants to continue playing that after 25. It hurts. It's so brutal. There's so much pain involved in that sport. You come home, things are in bad shape.

So many bruises. What hurts the most? You're just getting smacked by a stick? You just get smacked in the arm by the stick constantly. They always seem to hit you right on the knuckles and the elbow cap. It hurts so much. Just places where the skin is very thin. I remember a story about Leonardo DiCaprio playing lacrosse.

They smoked him right in the knuckles. He still went on to score 12 goals. And they kept it all in the shot. Oh, is that lacrosse movie? Oh yeah. Crooked arrows. Yeah. YeahCrosse movie? Oh yeah. Crooked, Crooked Arrows? Yeah. Yeah.

You saw that? Of course. I remember getting fundraising solicitations for that. What do you mean? They wanted you to produce it? Someone on our alumni network was a producer and kept asking us if we wanted to donate money. I'm like, dude, I'm in college.

Yeah. You want to keep the story of La Crosse alive? I can't fund the Native American heritage story of La Crosse. It was pretty much, I think the movie was just about like Duke, like a Duke La Crosse team playing against like traditional Native Americans and they got like smoked or something like that. The Duke team did? I don't know if actually it was like a good team played against, I don't know with Native Americans and something who wins though the team the Natives or the Dukes think Duke Really? Out on top. Yeah, you took our land and then you beat us in La Crosse

Yeah, that movie wasn't great I Remember even watching it as a kid and being like this like that's when you're supposed to like every movie that you watch I I remember even watching it as a kid and being like this like that's when you're supposed to like every movie that you watch I played in college against Lyle Thompson. Yeah, Native American. Yeah He was the best player. He might be the best player ever He's better than Rable. Yeah, probably better than the Christmas Brothers You know the Christmas Brothers, of course, bro You know the Christmas Brothers? Of course bro. This kid was Virginia royalty.

They were twins. Well, Cerec, me and Ron did a lot of lacrosse studying to make you feel better today. What's happening here? Better than the Christmas Brothers, really. You sure about that? We studied World War II and the cross before coming in. What are a few of his favorite things? When the dog bites, when the bee stings.

You guys chose poorly. Yeah, we should be... What I'm feeling. Let's talk about Charlton the Round. Well, you're right. You know, to your point point it's like every time we come in here we just talk about what he wants to talk about. Right. We talked about cyber attacks last episode you missed it. Good episode. Really good

episode. Glad to hear. We talked about or it was a foreign policy in cyber attacks. We talked about we talked about Obama attacking Iran shutting down the nuclear program. You want to talk about good-looking bad guys. Obama? I was going to say, obviously, I think consensus best-looking American president ever, probably Kennedy. Yeah.

Or, I mean, Teddy Roosevelt was pretty hot. Was he? No. In like a burly outdoorsman way. Yeah, but you had to- In like a Ron Swanson type of way. That had to be your taste. He was stout.

But, I mean- He was very stout. Maybe was stout. But I mean. He was very stout. Maybe more stout than Napoleon, honestly. But who could dress a deer better, him or Kennedy? You know what I mean? If you're fucking in a survival. Yeah, but I'll take a man who knows his way

around a tiller and a centerboard. Yeah. A jib. The jib, he is a sailor. Aviator, sunglasses, linen, shirts. Did Kennedy rape Marilyn Monroe? I don't think that's the thought. That didn't happen?

No, they had, they dated, they were having an affair. Isn't there like, isn't that whole movie with Anna de Armas about like her being raped by like all these politicians or like celebrities? Isn't he one of them? I didn't see the movie, I didn't know that, but they had an affair. No, I didn't see the movie.

Have you ever heard her sing Happy Birthday Mr. President? Have you heard her sing? Happy birthday, mr. President Have I heard now? Let's put it this way it is not the pitch choice of a victim. Yeah, she she popped out of a cake Yeah, but I think like you that move. I think that movie was like really brutal. I think it's like NC 17 Right because her yeah, I day Armistice titties aren't big enough to fucking match up to Monroe's. True. They had to add some brutal scenes to make it more realistic. My six words to describe America.

Sydney Sweeney's titties, Billie Eilish titties. What are those about? Are those just- Billie Eilish? I see memes about those. Yeah, the front page of Reddit is just Frances's shoulder video and Billie Eilish titties. There are no claims or records to JFK sexually assaulting Marilyn. However, in Night, oh, Happy Birthday birthday song while dressing a glamorous diamond The same one. Oh, okay. That doesn't have anything to do with it The rumor was where'd you get it from? I just googled did JFK rape Marilyn Monroe and it says there are no claims Okay, this is so this is hilarious. There are no claims or records to JFK sexually assaulting Marilyn Monroe

however in 1962 Marilyn famously sang the happy birthday song to JFK sexually assaulting Marilyn Monroe. However, in 1962, Marilyn famously sang the Happy Birthday song to JFK while dressed in a glamorous diamond encrusted gown, the same one Kim Kardashian wore to the Met Gala earlier this year. Wow. Talk about two topics that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. However. That's that Google AI bullshit.

However, if you are worried about that, let yourself calmly accept this new information. There are no claims that he did rape her, but she did wear a spectacular dress when she sang happy birthday. Oh, okay. That clears things up for me. Well, how could she get raped? Now I've got something to go on now I've got a piece of information. I know you're looking for a tidbit to carry into a conversation

Look, I didn't get what I wanted. This is a different tidbit. That should take you pretty far guys. I've got good news and bad And I don't know which one's which. They should have let Kardashian play Monroe. You think she's the Monroe of our time? Yeah. Yeah, probably. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Did people hate Marilyn Monroe?

Yes, they did. They did. Well, you know, she fucked up Kennedy's marriage to Jackie and everyone loved Jackie. Well, Kennedy fucked up his marriage. Jackie, I just wanted to get my dick wet. What a fucking progressive take from you. Look at you. Well, he did.

He was seduced by the hottest woman of his time. I'm glad we qualified that, right? Yes, it takes two to wreck a marriage. It's the man's fault. We get it. Wow, we see who side you're on, Tess. Son of a bitch. No but it's like didn't he I mean he took her to like these fancy hotels and stuff what is the famous hotel that he would

make sweet love to her? Amanyara. Make sweet consensual love to her in? Did you guys know that she wore a dress? A beautiful dress when she sang Happy Birthday. There's nasty propaganda about Monroe as well though. Like that she was smelly and not only cross-bred. Oh I heard that she was smelly yes. Smelly and then she would like bring like sandwiches into her bed and just like leave them there. Like that's kind of weak propaganda honestly. Yeah. And she ate in bed. Yeah. That's like the best place to eat is in bed. Yeah. And she ate in bed. Yeah. That guy, right? The best place to eat is in bed. Yeah.

So she was comfy as fuck. Yeah. The story was that Kennedy would use the tunnels, the Secret Service tunnels, entrances and exits to the White House to have the Secret Service bring young women, staffers, and he'd have pool parties at the White House. Yeah. And they would go get girls from the pool party and bring them in and then he would have sex with them and then they Would take them out and the rumor was it was like happening two or three times a day. Oh

Really that he was having sex with like two or three new people a day. That's crazy That nuts how did it never get out? I mean people knew it was a different time Yeah, it was a different time where people knew and they wanted to protect. They'd be like, that's nasty business. We can't talk about it. Yeah. It makes sense. Yeah. You don't say anything. It's fucking nuts. I wonder if other presidents at that time were like, was Harry Truman fucking like that? No, I read the Truman biography. Was Calvin Coolidge fucking like that? Some I'm sure did. Silent Cow? Truman faced temptation and loved his wife so deeply that he would get mad if any of his buddies would be like,

Hey, we should go out and fuck around. He'd flip out. Yeah, it's also probably pretty tough to go out and fuck around while you're the president of the United States. Before and after. Like before and after like before after during Well, I mean if there's secret tunnels where they're bringing you underage girls Fucking rage. He just said young girls. Yeah, I don't know if they were underage, but they were young They were like he like took girls virginity. There was a woman wrote a book about it Recently yeah, and you're getting your virginity taken by the

president of the United States imagine me the next guy yeah that's nasty why you're first no John F Kennedy are you gonna call me again? They're monitoring my calls so probably not. Damn. That's probably the Japanese propaganda. Kennedy's fucking underage girls. I guess it was a different era. Different time. 20 years removed.

I wonder if FDR was fucking, if they had to splint his dick to a 12 inch ruler to make it work. Does polio affect the penis? I'm sure. It has to. It's probably the first thing it takes. That's why he was just married to his cousin. Was he really? Yep.

Eleanor. It was his cousin and she was a lesbian. And she was not, I don't think she was very attractive now But he couldn't fuck around because his penis didn't work like that girl from the Adams family Really really tall one. Yeah Who's got a name like it or be or some weird one syllable nonsense? If she was of age if she was now she would be on the American rugby just stiff armin' bitches. Yeah, we watched some of the handball yesterday. It was incredible.

Do you ever watch dudes play handball in New York? No. It's amazing. I don't know how their shoulders work, because they're swinging their full arm like it's a fucking paddle. No bend in the arm, and it's like their shoulders, the joint has to be like a well-oiled machine like my shit would come flying off like a Ken doll arm if I try to swing my arm like that

How come 90% of the Olympic sports are like gym class games? Because they're like old sports. Yeah Mm-hmm. It's like parachute. I'm one of getting on the handball team must not be that hard It's like parachute. I'm getting on the handball team must not be that hard If you see these guys that play in New York, they're smacking the fuck out of the ball. Yeah, but like You know what astonishes me one in the NFL could be on the handball team Well, the stand is starting up a handball league, bro. You should get in it Yeah, Sunday Afternoons this isn't like a comed's league though. Just the team just our team

No, and it's like there's like four comics on it I'm surprised that that is enough for you to want to do it The thing that surprises me about the Olympics is that the skateboarders are not required to wear helmets Well, it is like our greatest game. It's like nauseaja, Houston. Yeah, I think did he win gold. Yeah. Yeah, that's so bad What a God? Yeah, what a God that dude? Yeah, he's been around for a while. He's so Athletic yeah and cool. They're probably wearing palace to fucking the Olympic ceremonies Well, I think the thing is like those guys they start when they start when they get popular, when they're so young. So it's like, oh, he's been around forever.

Shackler's hot ass is probably out there. Yeah. You know what's crazy, though? The American three-on-three basketball team is like losing games. It's like, we can't just pick the next 16 best players in the NBA and have them be on the team. I can't imagine the three NBA dudes losing

to the fucking Serbian team or fucking Jimmifredet is our best option that we're sending out there. Is he on the team? Yeah. He's like a good college player from 15 years ago. Maybe the guys in the NBA don't want to play on the team. That would be my guess. They're like, if I'm going to play,

I want to play on the dream team. And if not, forget it it I'll take my summer yeah gold medals a gold medal though I like that guy who's the former NBA player who's now on the beach volleyball chase buddinger that's cool what a cool pivot that is he was a stud in college at volleyball sick at Arizona yeah because that's a tough sport I don't know if you guys have ever played beach volleyball I know but it's hard. I played like sixes not twos. Yeah playing with two people covering that much It's so crazy. So I don't sand it's like jumping in your dreams. Yeah. Yeah

It's like why am I not going anywhere? riding the manual City bike Moving in slow motion. Pedaling as fast as you can. What the fuck? Yeah, people are furious that they're not wearing bikinis. That they're wearing spandex pants. Yeah, the boys want to be horny. The fellas want to be horny as hell.

People are pissed that you can't see the tennis player women's nipples anymore. Yeah. What the fuck are we even watching? Dante made a blog of the hottest Olympians. I saw that. I hope Mike E. Malin saw that. And I'll tell you what. Part one.

I only saw part one. I only saw part two. It was like one and two looked pretty good and then it was a pretty steep drop off from there. The fact that they're Olympians just makes them cool in and of themselves though. I do agree with that. I do agree with that. Yeah, I think it'd be cool to date an Olympian. Did you guys see how much people are sucking off the Korean woman that won the shooting competition?

They're like, this is the coolest human being that has ever lived. She like wins the shooting competition competition very nonchalantly, has a backwards hat, puts down her shit real cool. It's like a two second clip. I guess she looks cool. I saw the clip. She does look cool in it. People are slobbing on her knob.

She quote tweeted in was like, thank you for all of the support. But I think in shooting, you naturally have to be cool because you have to be actually cool, not like a cool dude. You have to be cool because, like you have to be actually cool not like a cool dude, like you have to be cool, calm and collected because like if your heart rate goes up even a little bit. I know in the biathlon where you ski and shoot simultaneously, alcohol is a prohibited substance because it naturally lowers your heart rate.

Oh, not because they don't want people shooting guns while they're drunk? No, no, that's fine. No one gives a fuck about that. It's because it calms you down enough and I guess it makes you a better shooter. So you just have to be cool if you're shooting. You can't be like a fucking spaz fucking... Right. That makes sense. I got pretty good aim. Prove it with a gun. Prove it. I have a video of me shooting an AK and I hit like the head every single time Really? Yeah, cuz you're so cool some cool common collected. Yeah, you really don't I haven't seen you lose your shit that much Never but you are just losing my shit. I played I decided that I was ready to play online on NCAA last night You got body oddied if you want to see me lose my cool

Taking the controller and like smashing it against my hand I lost 53 to 0 the first game I played I didn't realize you have to play as like a top 5 team or else You have zero chance Yeah, every single pass I threw was a pick six really. Yeah, I don't think the guy even had possession of the ball once He's just going on defense every time I pick six almost every single play his offense is just fully clean uniforms Yeah, well, it's like BC versus Ohio State which Ohio State in that game is like a cheat code because they're running back has this Like he's like the best running back in the NCAA and he has this like move where he can just Spin and then like jump like 40 feet to the side. Yeah, he's like one of those spiders when you extrapolate a spider to human size

Like an ant they could just pick up a building and fucking jump the entire length of the field Their DN don't know how states good to 44 Potential first-round draft pick keep your eyes on him. I'm not up to date on the on the college draft right now This is gonna be a really dumb question the game Projects the players for the upcoming season. Yes, it's not Obviously not last year. Okay, which I was I thought it was Like I was ready. I picked UNC at first cuz I was ready to play as Drake May

I see and then it was not Drake May. They always keep a good quarterback though. Yeah. Drake May, Sam Howe, Mitch Trubisky, Caleb Presley. True. That's literally their like last four quarterbacks. Caleb should have stuck with it. He could be on the Patriots right now. He would be.

If he stuck with it, he probably could be like a bench warmer right now. Like someone they bring in to like take the kneel at the endots right now. He would be. If he stuck with it, he probably could be like a bench warmer right now. Like someone they bring in to like take the kneel at the end of the game. You need good morale guys on a football team. Will Compton played 10 years. Yeah. He was dog shit. Bro, he picked off Russell Wilson.

Did he really? Yeah. Never seen that clip. How crazy is that? Did he really, he picked him off, are you sure about that? 100%. That's crazy, I've never seen that clip. How crazy is that? Did he really? He picked him off? Are you sure about that? 100%.

That's crazy. I've only seen the clips of like his like three tackles that he got. I think he has three interceptions. Maybe it was in, I doubt it was in college. I don't know. Oh, in college. I thought you said, I thought you meant in the NFL. I think he has three NFL interceptions.

Can we check that to see if Compton had three NFL interceptions? Maybe I'm lying. That would be pretty impressive. Picking off Russell Wilson, you got year 10. Yeah. Three picks. Really? In college.

In the pros. In the NFL. See, you know, that's fucking amazing. That's crazy. And we all, people shit on Will. The rhetoric is like, what an under under you didn't do anything in the NFL It's like you're a special team or yo people think he's dumb that guy is better than every person We've ever met that football. What's crazy is except his podcast

And Arian Foster like all of our football players were like, I don't know. That's like pretty pretty fucking good Yeah, not to do that. To work at Barstool as a former NFL player. Yeah, you have to be pretty fucking special to work at Barstool. Well, we have standards. We're not just hiring any fucking schmock off the streets. Yeah, we got movie and smelly.

Yeah, exactly. Do you want? That's crazy that he, I didn't know he picked off Russell Wilson, that's pretty, I got new respect for him now. Yeah. That's crazy. You used to disrespect him. Russell Wilson in his prime? Yes. Because right now I think I could picked off Russell Wilson. I got new respect for him now. That's crazy. Russell Wilson in his prime? Yes.

Because right now I think I could pick off Russell Wilson. Dude is trash. People are furious at me for saying that Trevor Lawrence sucks. Is that like a new take? Dude is dog shit. You got a note on your phone? Yeah, I literally just got one

before we started recording. You know, like Trevor Lawrence brought the Jags to two back to back winning seasons for the first time in like ten years Jordan love is has won eight games brother Jordan love has made how much money was that contract? I think he's like making the same amount of money as Trevor Lawrence But oh yeah, they did get the exact same But I mean Trevor Laura like Mack Jones is gonna end up starting half the games

That's not true dude. They stay over there throw They're showing videos from the training camp Trevor Lawrence can't stop throwing picks and Mac Jones cannot stop throwing just dimes Yeah, I mean I've heard you read these training camp news. It's it gets nasty anytime someone throws a pick It's like it's like national headlines Brock Purdy threw four picks yesterday rock Purdy's in all caps Brock Purdy struggling at training camp JJ McCarthy Struggling yeah, Caleb Williams struggling at training camp. I saw a video there like Jones struggling They're like JJ McCarthy struggling against the Vikings defense and then you see a clip 30 seconds later and it's like he's thrown three Perfect touchdown passes in the red zone Yeah

You got a factor in all this for your fantasy drafts, bro. I know. You got to factor all this shit. JJ McCarthy, but brother. Are you gonna do our fantasy league? Sure. Yeah? Are you gonna actually do it? Yeah. Because last thing we need is dudes that join and don't do it because we had that last year and then they hog all the good guys. Hank, PFT. Hank and PFT on part of my take big football podcast big football podcast Didn't have time to change their lineup once a week bottom of the league. You could literally throw on auto change It does it for you. That's not fucking right. Yeah, dude invite me and survive a rise in Zato change Yeah, invite me and Francis over to play a NG, welcome over. Do you have multiple controllers? No.

I guess I could probably use my PS4 controller. I'll bring over a controller. You don't have a controller. I could buy a controller. They're pricey. Oh shit, that reminds me I have to go get a new headset today. I thought you had shit to do all day. My headset broke last night. Well tell Billy. Last time I got a new headset was because Billy told me, it was right when I started at Barstool, and he was like, do you want, me and my friends used to just play and we would just FaceTime while we played, so we didn't need headsets. And then Billy was like, we're doing a stream tonight for Barstool if you want to hop on and play Warzone.

And I was like, oh, totally. And then I went and I bought a brand new Turtle Beach headset. It was like $150, which was like all of my money at the time. And, and then I texted him about it. And he was and it was just me and like one of his buddies from college playing no stream happening. And I was like, Why did I just go out and buy a brand new headset for this? Yeah, that's insane. A lot of people are saying I'm growing my hair out as a crisis from my divorce. I was growing my hair out before the divorce. True. And it's going to be beautiful lettuce once it's all like, let him get through this phase. You need to give

me some time. I think it looks good. You got a little like Paul Rudd action going. Does he have on here? He is like that haircut. I mean, I would not describe it as Paul Rudd action. No. That's like exactly what Paul Rudd's hair looks like. It's just hard for people because it's red. That's why people are having a hard time with it. Nobody wants more red hair. Hahaha.

If it was up to the masses, they'd have every redhead shave their head. Yeah, historically I have limited my red as much as possible out of respect to society right and children especially right when I walk down the street and I see mothers pushing their kids behind them to protect them. Yeah. I say I need a haircut. Yeah. How many redheaded presidents have we had? That's a good question. I guess most of them were black and white. Not many. That's a good question. I guess most of them were black and white. Not many. It's always, it's always a dying out breed.

That's what I'm always told that redheads are dying out. Did Washington have redheads? Yeah, Washington has a redhead. Oh yeah, that's so funny. Go get them, they're over there. Sit down, George. Seven redheads? Seven redheads. That's pretty good. That's a nice one.

So are we counting Trump? Wow. Seven redheads. If all of them had been assassinated, we would say that was a lot of people. That's what we're doing too. It's like a- Percentage wise. A lot of the redhead presidents were killed that were here at the redhead.

Percentage wise, that's like a sixth of, between the sixth and the seventh of the presidents. Yeah. Damn. That's a ton. There's not that many presidents. They're calling Janet John F. Kennedy a redhead though. Really? Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Martin van Buren,

Rutherford Hayes, William Taft, William Howard Taft, Calvin Coolidge and John F. Kennedy. So they're not saying Washington was and they're not calling Trump redheaded. So it could easily be not. I wouldn't have called Trump redheaded, would you? You would? I would consider it. Blonde? Isn't he blonde? Yeah, 20% of our prezzies. That's insane. That's pretty good representation. Really good. Yeah.

Historically, how many half Jews have been president? Wait till Kamala's vice president is the dude from Pennsylvania, Shapiro. Ben? Josh. Wow. We're about to have a new Shapiro in charge though. I don't know if it's going to be him, right? Are people saying that?

I thought it was going to be the governor of Kentucky. He's in the running too. That's who it sounds like it's going to be. But I could be dead wrong. Is Kamala going to win? No. No chance. Not unless someone clips her earlobe off with a fucking AR-15.

She goes to piercing pagoda. She just walks out with a fucking AR-15. She goes to Piercing Pagoda. Yeah. She just walks out with a bloody ear. I don't know. I don't even think it would have to be something other than her ear. She just gets a nose job. What's that say? Tit popped off. It's gotta be a tit pop.

They shot her through her nipple. That'd be fucking foul work. And then she does her next speech just wearing a fucking, just band-aids over her nipples. A pasty, just like a Lil' Kim pasty on her. Just one tit out with a fucking sticker on it. They tried to take my nipple, Joe. We need to get someone to do a good impression of her. Who would it be?

What's her name from SNL? Used to be on SNL? Oh, Maya Rudolph. Maya Rudolph? Yeah, I could see them bringing her back. She probably did play Kamala. She must have. In the election, last election. Was she on, oh yeah, I guess 2016. She was probably on SNL still then. Was she? Or she wouldn't have been, but she would have come back. She came back, yeah. Remember when Kristen Wiig had like a huge moment? She was like starring in movies she was like the leading

woman in movies that whole cast of SNL was a strong woman cast what are the women on SNL doing these days they got some good ones Sarah Squirms but is she gonna be a leading woman in Hollywood she's pretty funny Kate McKinnon she's she still there? No, she's not there. I don't think she left. But she's unbelievable. Unbelievable. Queen. God, I'm having allergies. She was in Barbie, right? Yeah, probably the funniest character in Barbie,

one of them, other than Ryan Gosling. I never watched all of Barbie. I gotta fuckin' watch it. I quite liked it. My mom read into a lot of the negative propaganda about it was like staunchly against ever playing Barbie at the house. We're not watching that movie.

Strike one brother. We're due for another cigar episode. We're overdue. Wow. That would be insane. So as a cigarette smoker, will you tell me why Marlboro Reds are so heady for people? What's the deal?

Why is that so hard for people to smoke? They're unfiltered, right? Dude, the first time I smoked a Marlboro Red, I was drunk and I was in early high school. And I remember, I thought someone Dude the first time I smoked a Marlboro red I was drunk and I was in Early high school and I remember I thought someone put fentanyl in it I was like free cuz it was so strong. I was freaking the fuck out You're on all fours in a field dude

We were walking down the street and smoking one and being like what the fuck what I? Yeah, I'd smoked a cigarette before and that was like, I mean, it's they're so strong There are cigars that aren't as strong as a Marlboro Red. Oh, yeah. It's being ours. I've gotten into cigars. Golly. I Have to really look be careful. Why because I could see myself becoming a habitual cigar smoker Why I don't want to be that guy why? Because it's that feels like a big thing to do No, it does. It is. It's a big when your mouth is constantly tasting like cigars Yeah, my teeth are gonna turn brown. You got to reserve an hour of a day to smoke one. Yeah

Submit to the fact that I'm gonna die of lung and or mouth cancer, but you're not inhaling it Yeah, but all that's that's a big that's a big mouthful of smoke. Yeah, I love cigars. You do love them. Yeah. I don't know if I believe you. We've smoked cigars on this podcast like 10 times. Yeah, and you are always against it. I've always been the only one that finishes the cigar.

That's not true. I've had. Ron, you take two cigars. I smoke multiple cigars when we do cigar the cigar. That's not true. I've had Rome you take two cigars It's of that I smoke multiple cigars when we do scar episodes not even close to true. That is true No, no, no, no, no It isn't are you saying I'm not a mac and udon man We went out when we were when I was in Wyoming We got cigars, but we got Cheyenne's and then we got black and milds and then those weren't those weren't good enough quality for my friends They don't like cigars. I was totally fine smoking those black and mild is is barely a cigar. That's a black

I'm out category. Yeah, but that's a different cat. You're not smoking cigars You're having a black and mild. Yeah, and that's that's not either so they didn't like those So then when we were moving spots, we went into Buffalo, Wyoming We went to a cigar shop and we got Connecticut cut like smaller cigars and they were great smoked my entire one and they like my buddy Bo smoked like a quarter of his throughout the rest of the trip he smoked one we all got two you never did finish the first one we had a sick night though where it was our last night and we were standing outside of this bar and we were gonna smoke our cigars for our last night and we were standing outside of this bar and we were going to smoke our cigars for the last night and we only had matches and it was

super windy out and I couldn't get my cigar to light and then all of a sudden out of nowhere this like like 80 year old dude in like a cowboy hat comes over and he goes you know smoking is really bad for you and then he hands me a lighter and then he and then and then he like the cigar and then we turn back and he's just gone what even gone that's the lighter got the lighter back oh just disappeared it's so sick that's cool what the fuck was he a ghost he might have been that's so fucking sick he was awesome okay yeah we need to we need to rap yeah I gotta go. All right, cool You got it you're at you want to end the podcast early I don't think it's early you just got to go my mental clock says we've been doing probably at 10 hour 7

But I just I'm having a fun time and I also think our listeners deserve this Well, I have to go I have a meeting All right If we started on time I probably would have been able to go for an hour 45 those things is like this is all you really do in a week and can't give up on a Cincinnati tomorrow morning brother Holy shit, dude. I'm gonna be in Columbus. I know Francis where will you be nowhere?

alone slack slacken Francis where will you be? Nowhere. Alone. Slacking. Slacking. Alone with my thoughts. Do you want to come to Cincinnati to turn it into a co-headlining weekend? No. Really? No I actually don't. I mean no offense. No. That sucks. I'm sorry.

Cincinnati's right by Kentucky. What are you doing? Are you doing the improv? Go Bananas. I heard JD Vance is going to be opening for you. Go banana. How is that? I've never done it. I've heard it's good. It's really good.

I've heard it's really actually quite good. It's a cool room shape. It's like a semi-circle, like an atrium kind of feel Shakespearean. So that's what I will be in Rochester, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Oh, we're going to be in Cleveland. That's the big thing. We're going to be in Cleveland in like two weeks. August 15th to the 17th, I think.

Get tickets for that at littlesasquatchwebsite.com. And Cincinnati this weekend weekend tomorrow or today. I guess when this comes out, I'll be down the shore that weekend. Uh, when you guys are in Columbus and going to the Seattle city, I'll be fine. Cool. No, it will be. I know. No, it definitely will be. Yeah. That's what I said. Um, yeah. Come see me in Cincinnati, please. I'm going to the monkey bar tonight. That place is fucking awesome. Speaking of go bananas.

Yes, dude. Monkey bar is fucking awesome. What should I get? Well, a steak and a martini. Yeah, probably. I mean, the burgers, it's the O'Shaval for Charles Burger. Oh, really? It's the same.

It's all the same guys. So and the decor, the fucking wallpaper or the art on the walls is so sick. It is. They make a pretty mean Manhattan air tail. Yeah. If I'm honest. Damn, it's going to be so fucking nice. We won't be in Kansas City. That's right. So if people want to know what it was like when Francis was telling me that he got divorced, it was exactly like that. Exactly. We'd be talking about something. Bruh. When Francis was telling me that he got divorced, it was exactly like that. Exactly. We'd be talking about something... Bruh. When Francis...

Francis told me two months before he told you. How are you guys gonna allocate the dogs? I don't know. We're working that out. Do you think that if I asked for a room upgrade now, I'd get back to Dave? Bruh. It's like, wow. Like, what's the apartment situation?

They just told me that I can't get a new room They said they're already booked two months before he told you best friends And then he had to get and then I had I was I was very supportive for those two months And then you stepped in I said time for own do something heavy heavy lifting wasn't two months before I don't think it was two months three weeks. I think it was like six months honestly I don't even know if I told it probably told you we were having trouble I don't know if I told you it was definitive so maybe it was that's probably got in your ear Probably rooting for it fucking son of a bitch. Yeah bad person, bro. We're doing a whole co-headlining tour now This changes everything

Eight weeks out on the road tour bus Every city in America Ari said we could use this tour bus We just have to decide who's Ari and who's calm It's weird that they list the calories on water bottles like aren't we at a point now where we all know that there are zero calories in water There's probably some water balls out there that have like four calories or five calories There's some funny waters that they're putting out these days. Yeah. Dude, how good are the probiotic sodas?

Oh, the poppies. Those are good. The grape one is good. Some of them are pretty bad. Like the orange one. Oh. No, it's not that bad. The orange one tastes like you're drinking a probiotic drink.

Yeah, but what's wrong with that? Sometimes I like to drink what I'm drinking. Sometimes when people are like, oh, this protein shake tastes bad. It's like, yeah, you're drinking a protein shake. Like just drink what you're drinking. Yeah. This whiskey tastes bad. This tastes like alcohol. You make a face when you're drinking alcohol, you're drinking alcohol, drink what you're drinking. True. Be where your feet are at, man. Exactly. Just be in the present, please.

That's rich. Yeah. That's what I'm asking for. Rich coming from your rich ass. That's what I'm asking for. Just being in the present. That's fucking rich coming from you. Alright, I gotta go. So thank you guys for listening to the podcast. Francis, you wanna stay for a little bit? Just me and you, we'll do a little bit.

We will see you guys on Tuesday. Goodbye. See you in another 20 minutes. you