Song Exploder - Jay Som - Tenderness

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

Melina Duterte goes by the name Jay Som. She’s a singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist. She’s released three albums as Jay Som, and has produced, engineered, and mixed each one.Her third album, Anak Ko, came out in August 2019. And in this episode, Melina breaks down a song from it called “Tenderness.”To learn more, visit songexploder.net/jay-som.

You're listening to Song Exploder, where musicians take apart their songs, and piece by piece, tell the story of how they were made. I'm Rishi Kesh Hirwe. J-SOM has a new album coming out on October 10th called Belong, which is pretty exciting, if you're a fan like me, because her last album came out six years ago. This new one features guest appearances by Haley Williams from Paramore and Jim Adkins from Jimmy Eat World. And I've been really enjoying it, so I thought it would be nice to revisit her Song Exploder episode, also from Sixthew. years ago, November 2019. Since the episode was published, Melina's done a lot. She was part of the Grammy-winning Boy Genius album that came out in 2023, and she's produced and mixed a bunch of albums for other folks. I've been lucky enough to work with her a few times, including a duet that we

did together for a song of mine. And I consider a friend now, and that all started with this episode. So here it is. Melina Duterte, who goes by the name J-SOM, is a singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist. She's released three albums under the name J-SOM, and she's produced, engineered, and mixed each one. Her third album, Anakou, came out in August 2019, and in this episode, Malina breaks down a song from it called Tenderness.

I'm Melina from J-Som. I started writing Tenderness. The summer of 2018, I just moved to L.A. And I was doing a lot of production work for other people. This artist came over to work with me for her whole record. And there was one day where I had to clean her entire hard drive. And I noticed that there was a folder that said vintage drum machines. And I just copy and paste it onto my computer because I was like, oh, it's right there.

She doesn't know that, but it's okay. And I just like experimented with all of those. I started off by recording this Lynn L.M.1 drum machine. That's like the Prince drum sampler. And I know he used that on like all the hits. And at the time I was listening to a lot of Staley Dan. They make a lot of songs that have like a shuffly beat. And I wanted to emulate that.

because you don't get to hear it that often, especially in pop music too. Just like, boop, kha, go. And I thought it'd be really cool to have this, like, languid guitar part that strums as if it's a piano. Just pretty, like, minor seventh. The concept and, like, the meaning of the track came as I was writing it. Those chords are used in lots of, like, R&B songs, and it just felt right to, like, make a song about love. I was trying to like conceptualize this idea of sitting in your bed, thinking about your new romantic partner that you just started dating.

And you're kind of like wondering if they're thinking about you and wondering if you're like their right person. As I was doing the vocals, I really wanted that lo-fi effect. I imagined myself on my bed with like an old telephone. And you're kind of like speaking into the telephone. I really wanted that conversational feeling. as if you're either leaving a voicemail or you're the only one that's speaking

and you really want to put your heart on the line. Show me before you haunt me on the screen. Will my affection pull the strings? Another forgotten memory. And that was originally supposed to be the whole song. It was going to be like a minute and 30 seconds. It was going to be like the intro of that. and one chorus.

But I sat with the demo for a couple months, and it just didn't sound right to me. That was the first time for like an album-making process where I had demos. Usually when I write songs, I record them at the same time, because I really like having the idea in my head and going through with it. But this time, I started to get like a little frustrated because I was writing songs that I couldn't play when it like goes into the part with the part with it.

to the part with a drum fill, and it comes into the rest of the song. That's just like drum samples, and started sounding too, like, rigid. It didn't have like a flow, and that's when I decided, like, I need to have Zach play drums on it. That is my touring mate, Zach.

We've been playing music together since middle school and high school, like in jazz bands and, like, concert bands, and indie cover bands. We just went up to his parents' house in our hometown, which is in the East Bay Area. They have like this bonus room that he has his drum set in, and he usually records music in there because it's always quiet. I just set up some mics on his drums, and he just, like, nailed it. He did more to it than I would if I play the drums, more taste and style and, like, a flavor.

So I had the drums for tenderness, and I was super happy because I was like, I could finally have it sound the way that I wanted to. And then I went back to LA and started doing bass. Bass is my favorite instrument to play. I started playing the bass after I really learned guitar. And then I realized that the bass was the most important instrument in every song. I think it just has so much meaning in the foundation of a song. It really drives and motivates the groove of it.

With the bass, you can just do the roots, but I think I always like to do a little more. I like little nuggets of jazzy notes that work in the chord progression. And I think it gives it like a really cool flow. Most of the guitar tracks were done in Joshua Tree. I rented this house for like a week. So the intro guitar, I wanted it to sound like the guitar was coming from an old record player. to sound like vintage. And then I wanted to introduce these new elements

for guitar layering to make the intro build a little more. So I played through a cleaner setting and put like a tremolo on it. And that was panned left. And then the end of the intro introduces like another guitar, pan to the right. And then for the first chorus, I added in a guitar with like a Leslie effect.

I love layering guitars. I think that is the secret to making a song sound lush. The Wurlitzer was done in Joshua Tree as well. I thought that the Wurlitzer would really serve its purpose as being a steely-dain part of the song. It just has that classic electric piano sound that can make the song come to life. It brings a certain energy that a guitar doesn't bring. I grew up playing jazz trumpet, and throughout that time I was really heavily invested in music theory and learning about everything. I've always had the mindset that music can speak for itself and music can tell a story and evoke a sort of emotion that lyrics and vocals can't.

So I just wanted to have an instrumental passage rather than more lyrics in the bridge of the song. I did the final vocals for tenderness right before I turned in my album. That was the only song where I was like, I don't know if I'm going to release this because I don't know if I'm singing it good or anything like that. And I think there was just a moment where I like force myself to keep doing the vocal takes over and over again for like hours. And I had like hot tea with me at all time so that I can like coat my throat to like sing it. Because I'm not, I don't consider myself like a singer or like someone that can belt, but if I can sing sweetly, I will.

I got my friend Taylor Vic to sing harmonies. I really admire her voice and can relate to the way that she records her voice. She sings really quietly, kind of in a whispery fashion. I also got that style from learning about like how you can make your voice sound bigger by singing quietly. And I just think our voices sound really cool together. Starting off in a new relationship,

you feel the effects of, like, puppy love. You're, like, obsessed with this person and you're always thinking about them and everything you do together is really important. Like, where you go out to eat and, like, the sort of vacations that you take. You feel like you're in this environment that's, like, yours.

You feel like you're sinking and you can't get out of that. it's just sort of like you're falling in love. It feels really good to write songs that are about being loving and showing that you can be vulnerable and emotional in relationships and actively wanting people to know that you love them rather than like being emo, I guess. But I can write songs about being emo anytime.

Coming up, hear how all those parts and ideas came together in the final song. I have a new album of my own coming out on April 24th. It's been about 15 years since I last put out a full length, and this is the first one that'll be out under my own name, Rishi Kesh Her Way. I started making Song Exploder when I was feeling lost in my own music career. And then for over a decade, I've gotten to have these incredible conversations about the process of making music, talking to other artists, and it made me completely rethink my relationship to music and my way of writing songs.

And this album is the product of all of that. It features contributions from some of my favorite artists, including some folks that you may have heard on this podcast, like Iron and Wine, Kevin Morby, Vagabon, Fenlily, and the producer Phil Wine Robe. I'm going to be on tour playing in cities across the U.S. starting in April, and I'm trying to bring the spirit of the podcast with me. So every show that I'm playing will begin with a conversation about the album with a different amazing guest moderator in each city, like Adam Scott, Samin Nasrat, Jason Manzukas, Josh Malina, Minj, Minjee. Jim Lee, Ken Jennings, John Roderick, Austin Cleon, and more. They're all going to be my conversation partners on stage, and then I'll play with my band. The album is called In the Last Hour of Light, and the first couple songs are out now. You can listen to the music and get tickets for the shows on my website, rishikash.co,

or just go to songexploder.net slash live. That's songexploder.net slash live. Thanks. And now here's tenderness. by J-SOM in its entirety. Visit songexplor.net, where you'll find links to buy or stream tender. This episode was originally produced by me,

Christian Coons, and guest host, Tau Wyn, with production assistants from Olivia Wood. This reissue was produced by me and Mary Dolan. The episode artwork is by Carlos Lerma, and I made the show's theme music and logo. Song Exploder is a proud member of Radiotopia for PRX, a network of independent, listener-supported, artist-owned podcasts. You can learn more about our shows at Radiotopia.fm.

If you'd like to hear more from me, you can sign up for my newsletter, which you can find a link to on the Song Exploder website. You can also follow me and Song Exploder on Instagram, and you can get a song Explorer shirt at songexploder.net slash shirt. I'm Rishi Kesh Hurway. Thanks for listening.